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petertingle-yipyip · 3 days ago

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STRANGER (xix) - KAZ BREKKER

tags: @beekeepingageissome @shadowzena43 @nikfigueiredo @mp-littlebit @starmansirius @hadesnumber1daughter @directioner5life @strvngestark @hostilityghost @ofmenanduhhhwellmen @justnerdystuffs @faeriepigeons @littleshadow17 //whenever i actually finish the show, one more part coming your way! kaz has one last chance to get it together!// previously // finale // masterlist

Pairing: Kaz x Davina Rollins (enemies to lovers)

Word Count: 8,665

Summary: Davina and Kaz lay it all on the line in a full-blown assault on the self-proclaimed King of the Barrel. Can the Bastard and Princess really end his reign?

“Maybe not, but I willed this into existence. I cut and sewed the strings of fate myself until they spelled your name for me. I care for you, and I will until my last breath. If there’s something after this, I will care for you in that as well. Tell me I’m wrong to care. Tell me you don’t and I’m just holding on to the past… Tell me that you feel the same. Just tell me something so I know where we stand…”

Her words were a siren song. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Kaz had dreamt of what Davina’s admittance might sound like, but never had he truly believed those words would grace her lips. What had he done recently to deserve that?

What was he supposed to say now? His own confession would’ve been nice, he thought, but the damned words wouldn’t come. He wanted to tell her that he cared for her intentionally, purposefully. He chose to be selfish with her, to keep her as close as he dared, to risk his life for her. With every bit of conscience he was born with, he chose her. He longed for her with every breath, belonged to her in every moment. He’d continue to fight his way through whatever the Barrel and the Saints and fate would throw at him just to see her.

She knew that, didn’t she? Hadn’t he shown her that when he couldn’t say it? Why couldn’t he just say it?

He glanced over her shoulder for one of his Crows. Jesper. Inej. Even Nina. He’d settle for Wylan. He’d even take Melli’s attention. They were all too enthralled in their conversations and planning to notice.

The one time.

Kaz, however, didn’t figure it out soon enough. He felt Davina’s hand slip from his and that loss of contact was more jarring than if he had touched her bare skin.

The only skin he found himself wanting to touch. The only touch he could tolerate was hers. Maybe the only touch he’d ever tolerate would be hers. Little Kaz Rietveld made his stand by making Davina the only exception, yet older Kaz Brekker wouldn’t admit it.

When she turned her back, he watched her draw her shoulders back. Her ribcage flared as she sucked in a deep breath for composure. Kaz didn’t need to see her face to know his lack of acknowledgment had crushed her.

He leaned against the wall behind him, letting his head fall back and closing his eyes.

How was he supposed to fix it now?

She had been right there. She had offered him everything. And he let her walk away. At the back of his mind, little Kaz Rietveld was kicking the daylights out of him.

His fingers drummed against his cane while his mind was loud. Planning Pekka’s demise, thinking of his necessary apology to Davina, how he could thank Davina for protecting his Club and his Wraith, having his Club back. Jordie’s voice wormed in between the flurry of thoughts. It wasn’t anything cruel as he was used to. It was a memory.

You like Davina, don’t you? Good on you. I’d bet she likes you, too.

“Are you alright?” Melli had made her way back over. “What did she do?”

Kaz opened his eyes and looked over at Davina’s lieutenant. The woman didn’t have the look of the Barrel, which led to her being underestimated. Kaz knew better, but not because of any reputation of Melli’s. Though when rumors spread of someone surviving Dime Lion torture, it tends to bolster one’s credibility.

Not that Kaz had anything to do with that.

Kaz knew Melli could be dangerous because Davina wouldn’t choose someone that couldn’t keep up. It may have begun by Davina dragging her along, but it was clear in Melli’s posture that she’d found her own stride.

He liked Melli enough to not immediately send her away.

“Everything’s fine.” He said flatly. As if an instinct, he wanted to find Davina. To see her persevere his hesitations, but he didn’t deserve that. “Is heading the Snakes what you’d want if Davina falls?” He asked instead.

“She won’t.”

“But if she does.”

“She won’t.” Melli insisted. There was no room for uncertainty in her voice. “Because for one, Dav’s too good. She does too much good for others to die in this.”

“You have a lot of faith in her…”

“In you, too.” She lightly nudged Kaz’s arm with her elbow. “I know you won’t let her die… I mainly came over because I never thanked you properly. This may very well be my only chance.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“That night at the abandoned cafe.” She explained. “Davina told me about the bullet.”

The scar on Kaz’s chest seemed to burn at the mention of that place.

“Quite the highlight.” He replied unenthusiastically.

“You didn’t have to help but you did. I know you did it for Davina, but you saved my life, Kaz. Thank you. I owe you.”

Kaz sighed slightly and stood to his full height. He noticed Melli had her arms crossed and her fidgety hands tucked away. She looked up at him with an expression so open it would’ve made her an easy mark with anyone else. Kaz found himself feeling rather protective of the woman, as if she’d been part of his crew all along.

“You tried to repay us.” Kaz admitted with a casual shrug. “When you welcomed us into your building that night and when we returned. Your Heartrender ensured I survived.”

“He regrets it, if it helps.” Melli joked.

“Tremendously.” Kaz returned, and if it was Davina, he would’ve smiled. “The point, Melli, is that you have nothing to thank me for. It was all business.”

“Is that all it was?” Her brows wiggled and Kaz had to refrain from rolling his eyes.

No wonder Jesper befriended her so easily.

“Your Heartrender has already scolded me on how he believes Davina feels.” Kaz said in a weak attempt to start and end that topic. “I’d rather not hear it from you.”

“Davina told you too, didn’t she?” She offered a knowing smirk. “Is that what you were thinking about?”

“She went on some rant about fate.” Kaz shrugged. “I’m sure she has more pressing matters to attend to than trivial feelings.”

“The last thing I’d consider trivial are her feelings. In my experience, that’s what seems to motivate her best.” Melli shook her head. “You’re special to her in a way I don’t understand. Personally, I think you’re every bit the Bastard people say. Occasionally worse.”

“You flatter me.”

“But Davs knows you differently… I’d like to think she’s right and there’s more to you. There’s more to her than the Princess, so same could be said about you. Not a bad idea to try and live up to, if you ask me.”

“Hmm.” He nodded slightly. “Is that why you joined, to live up to her idea of you?”

“I joined because she cared about what could’ve happened to me… She wanted to build something and she wanted me beside her. It felt like where I was supposed to be, I guess. But I suppose a man like you doesn’t believe in fate.”

“Is this where you tell me you’ll kill me if I do something to hurt her?”

“No.” Melli smiled. “But I will let Kol hurt you in whatever ways he sees fit if you break Davina’s heart. Then Davina can kill you.”

The woman was vicious when needed. Kaz simply nodded.

“She told me that her mother’s heart lived in her and she cursed it.” Kaz looked over and found Davina already watching them. She was biting her thumbnail with the other hand tucked under her cloak. She was nodding to whatever Nina was telling her, but her focus was more on him.

He wondered how he could break her heart, then with the feeling of a punch to the stomach, he considered that he may have already done so. Her lashes were wet, eyes glossy and the corners red. Behind her hand, her lower lip quivered.

Kaz suddenly felt like he was drowning.

In another life, maybe.

No. In this life, he decided. He would fix this. He had to, because losing Davina would equate to losing that last bit of himself. The part he kept locked away, that only she managed to release.

Melli was right. Davina would survive. Kaz would make sure of it.

“That heart is why I went with her.” Melli said gently. “She saved me from the Menagerie. She ever tell you that?”

Kaz looked back to the woman beside him. “No. It never came up.”

“I think that’s part of why she’s so intent on helping Inej.”

“That soft heart of hers…”

“She’s kept space in that soft heart for you.” Her tone shifted, more serious than he’d ever heard her speak. “You may never take a word of advice from me, but hear this. Be worthy of that space, Kaz Brekker.”

He nodded silently and Melli patted his arm once before going back to the mixed crew.

Kaz sighed to himself. The conversation with Melli felt more of a tightrope walk than anything. Melli had pried more information out of him than his own Crows had, despite them picking up on his unsaid responses. He mentally tipped his hat to Melli. That unassuming appearance hid a Snake after all.

The next day was when it all began. You hadn’t slept much that night, mostly spent staring at one of your penciled drawings. After the final meeting with everyone, you went back to your temporary office at the Kaelish Prince.

You used the time to draw what you had seen. Your crew and Kaz’s, all leaned around the same table. Pointing to the same map. Jars of Wylan’s contribution at their sides. It was a sight you wanted to document, to frame and keep in the Emerald Palace once you’d taken it.

As you worked, your last interaction with Kaz haunted your thoughts. You had laid it all out for him and he had no response. You considered if no response was the best response. Maybe it was better that he hadn’t explicitly said that he hated you.

You could live with the unknown. You had to.

After drawing and flipping through old work, you laid in bed that night and cried. With your blanket muffling any sound, you cried. For your mother, for Jordie, for your friends, for yourself. You cried until your eyes were dry, throat raw, chest uneven. You cried everything out until you were simply there, until everything felt distant.

You had a job to do tonight. You’d be the doting, loyal daughter for one more day. You’d end your father’s reign tonight. You’d stand with Kaz as your father desperately tried to maintain control. You’d take everything from him and he’d answer for what had been done by his hand.

Briefly, among the flurry of thoughts and doubts, your mind strayed to your half-brother.

Little Alby Rollins. The living Kaelish Prince.

He wouldn’t have your father’s empire. You’d decided that long ago, but when all was said and done, would he want to be your brother still? He seemed so happy to have you at your visit. Was he lonely like you were?

The nagging thought of your death crept in and you didn’t have the energy to fight it off.

Would Alby care? Probably not.

Would Melli survive it? She’d have to. Too much rode on her.

Would Kol? Of course, he’d have Melli. Together, they could withstand whatever storm your death caused.

Would Kaz? Selfishly, you wanted him to mourn you. You wanted your absence to hurt. Surely he had mourned you before when your running from home was labeled a ‘disappearance’. He could mourn you now, considering how much you had sacrificed for him.

Selfish. Selfish. Selfish.

You couldn’t convince yourself you deserved to be mourned by anyone by the time the sun came up. You had maybe an hour's worth of sleep hunched over the desk. Your back was achy, shoulders and elbows stiff, heart heavy.

But you pushed through. You cleaned yourself up, plastered a smile on your painted face, and kept your head high. You would not break. You would not falter.

You would live through it.

As the day went by, you made sure to take a lap around the Barrel. You wore a set of gloves to ensure you didn’t touch any residual powder or anyone who had. You had a scarf hung loosely across your face and your hood drawn. To anyone who didn’t know, you were simply a girl trying to get her bearings.

When you passed the Rook’s front door, Soleeya was on duty. She offered a sharp nod and you returned the gesture. You peeked inside as you passed and saw Melli wandering the floor. She was checking out different tables and greeting patrons, everything a club owner should be.

You smiled beneath your scarf and kept moving. You entered the Prince, finding Lockley waiting at your office door. You welcomed him in, carefully removing your gloves before touching your door handle. The gloves went straight into your cloak’s pocket where they waited with Alby’s toy train car.

“What business?” You asked, settling back into your chair. With how much you were in it the night before, you felt as if your bones had reshaped to form a perfect little niche for the seat. “Any problems?”

“No.” He shook his head. “We’ve been watching cross traffic carefully. Everyone else seems to be on track.”

“You’ve spoken with them?” You tensed.

“Not directly, no… They passed by in Komedie Brute costumes and just said all is well.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Thank the Saints… It’s almost over.”

“What will you do then?” He was simply curious.

“Drop the Rollins name. Divvy up the properties and live till I’m fat and old and rich.” You smiled. “You?”

“Stick with you till I’m fat and old and rich, too.” He laughed.

“You’re a good man, Lockley.” You nodded slightly. “I’m glad you’ve joined me.”

“Thanks, Boss. We'll keep you updated if anything changes.”

You nodded and he left, allowing you to sit back in your chair and huff a sigh. You rubbed your tired eyes, wondering if you could just sleep through the rest of the afternoon. Briefly, the thought of eating something came to you, but the idea left when you tried to give it attention. Instead, you just folded your arms on the desk and dropped your head.

In the silence, you thought again of your embarrassment the night before.

“Stupid man.” You muttered, lightly kicking at the leg of the desk. “Stupid insufferable man.”

A stupid, insufferable man who still had your damn ring. You groaned against the wood and closed your eyes.

Maybe you’d let him keep the stupid trinket. He’d probably drop it in the Harbor but what did it matter anymore? You had relinquished the keepsake from your childhood and sent it as an omen, a warning that you were coming. He was supposed to receive it and be glad to see you again. He was supposed to ally with you without fuss.

Instead, he fought you at every turn. He insisted on being a thorn in your side unless it was useful to him.

But getting shot in the chest wasn't useful…

Confessing the truth under his gloves wasn’t useful…

Nursing you back from Haskell’s poisoning wasn’t useful…

Wearing it around his neck wasn’t useful…

Moping around about it wasn’t quite useful either.

You pushed yourself up and ran a hand down your face. You could see the sun setting through the office window so you decided to head to the Emerald Palace. You found Adrin at the bar so you made a quick stop. With your back against the bartop, you spoke to your Snake while seemingly watching the crowd.

“What business?” You asked calmly.

“All’s good, Boss.” Adrin promised.

“Everyone where they should be?”

“Save for one, last I knew… I’m sure he’ll be there soon if he isn’t already.”

Kol wasn’t at the Rook yet. It wasn’t an ideal situation but you had to trust he’d be there. You simply nodded. It wasn’t like you could go and drag him there yourself. You waved Lockley over before excusing yourself.

You worked through the crowd, smiling and nodding and waving, until you were outside. You blew out a sigh and glanced towards the Rook. Soleeya was still on the door and though you couldn’t hear her, you could see her calling for patrons to come in and play. She shot you a wide grin and you returned the gesture.

Upon entering the Emerald Palace, you felt a buzz under your skin. It had to be adrenaline. The idea that the only thing you wanted for years was finally happening seemed unreal. You considered a drink to calm your nerves, but you immediately remembered the powder. It had to be all over by the time you got there. You frowned to yourself and drew your gloves out, slipping your hands in easily.

“Davi?” One of the older Lions found you.

You spun with an easy smile.

“Everything alright? Boss said you’d be staying with your own tonight.” His bushy eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

“Of course.” You nodded, that stupid Kaelish accent finding your voice. “Things got boring at mine so I thought Papa’s place would be a bit more lively.”

“Ah…” He nodded. “Well, I’ll let him know you’re here. Have a drink in the meantime.”

You bowed your head and changed course to the bar. Your fingers tapped idly on the bartop while the bartender offered you several options. You turned them all down, stating you had sworn off drinks for a while. Thankfully, there wasn’t much conversation after that.

You spun in the seat and watched the crowd.

What would you do with the Emerald Palace once it was yours? What would you call it? How would you decorate it? Nothing would be the same. There’d be no hint that Pekka Rollins or the Dime Lions had ever been in that place. It’d be yours.

It’d be yours.

The thought thrilled you more than you expected.

After maybe an hour’s worth of people watching, the real action began. The recruits Lockley has secured you had filed in slowly, maybe a dozen all together. It wouldn’t be enough to overtake the Palace but it was enough to prove your point. The doors slammed open and you slid from your seat. You wandered the perimeter of the crowd, trailing a hand along the wall.

Would you repaint or put up wallpaper?

A loud thud sounded by the time you got to the other side

of the room followed by Nina’s sure voice demanding to see Pekka. You pushed through to be at the forefront, silencing any complaints with a glare. Only one Lion blocked your path and for the time being, you let him. You needed something in front of you otherwise you would’ve fallen to your knees at his side.

Kaz was on the floor, seemingly beaten for the first time you’d ever seen. Your eyes met Nina’s and she gave you the barest shake of her head.

Growing up alone in the Barrel taught lessons the hard way. The one that seemed to take you the longest to learn was when to show your hand. Too soon and you’d lose leverage. Too late and you’re already beaten. There was a small window of opportunity for every strike, every con, every lift.

Now wasn’t the time.

Your father appeared, spouting something about loyalty. The speech made your stomach churn. One of the Lions pointed their gun at Nina, and you took a step forward. The Lion in front of you pushed you back and you huffed in annoyance.

Kaz lifted his head, scanning the crowd before facing your father. His eyes met yours for a brief second, lingering maybe longer than they should, and you froze. He didn’t want you to step in, not yet.

Too early.

You opened your mouth to argue when Lions hauled him to his feet. Your hands closed into tight fists at your sides and you began pushing through the crowd towards your father. You wouldn’t step into the circle yet, but you weren’t going to stay where you were.

You needed some sort of movement, otherwise you were going to pull your blade and slice through whoever was in your way until you got to Kaz. Seeing him in that state unlocked something new, something that you could only describe as feral. It made your heart pound in your chest, your blood rush through veins, your muscles tingle

in anticipation. You’d been in fights before, seen friends and allies get hit or go down. But seeing it happen to Kaz in the middle of the Emerald Palace? For it to be made into a spectacle?

Nothing had ever felt more vile.

Words were exchanged but the blood was pumping loudly in your ears, too loud for you to hear anything other than the voices. Nina, then Pekka, then Kaz. Grunts and coughs came soon after and something in your chest shook loose. It seemed like an eternity passed after shoving through the bodies crowding around to try and catch a glimpse of the King beating down the Bastard.

“…that I’m King of this city.” Your father boasted.

“Do your worst.” Kaz instigated.

You shoved the last Lion aside as your father raised a fist. You quickly swallowed your disgust and feigned an expression of confusion.

“Papa?” Your voice was small, uncertain. It was your last time slipping on the mask of the dutiful daughter. You didn’t even care to fake the Kaelish accent. “What is all this?”

The punch still landed across Kaz’s jaw and it felt as if he had struck you. You clenched your jaw, eyes locked on Kaz, as your father answered.

“Davi!” He said proudly. “I was just going to send for you.”

“Really?” You questioned. “Because it seems like you were beating on Kaz Brekker.”

“Don’t you worry, Little One. There’s plenty for you.” He stepped aside and gestured you forward.

“I don’t want to.” You shook your head. “We didn’t… You never mentioned we were going after him.”

“Didn’t have to.” His smile couldn’t have been more smug. “He was brought to us.”

You took a step forward and dared a look at Nina. Her hands were raised and she seemed unaffected. You knew it was a ruse, all part of the plan. Nina Zenik was no traitor, but damn was she convincing. You narrowed your eyes and she raised a brow.

“You did this?” You threw the accusation. “You betrayed him?”

Nina shrugged a shoulder. “I did what I had to, Princess. You, of all people, should understand that.”

You scoffed and turned your attention back to Kaz. His eyes were furious. It wasn’t directed at you necessarily. Maybe you had shown yourself too early by his calculations but you considered yourself too late. Far too late.

“Go on, Davi. Take a shot. You know he deserves it.” Pekka continued.

“No, I don’t… I don’t want this.” You tried to back away but your father’s hand closed on your arm. Your eyes dropped in an effort to avoid looking at Kaz.

You regretted sending Kol to the Rook at that moment.

“You can’t cause a scene here, Little One.” Your father warned quietly. “You’re not in charge anymore.”

“He deserves more respect than this.” You tied to argue, weakly tugging your arm. “He’s an eq-“

“He’s Barrel trash.” Your father shook you slightly. For a moment, you wondered if the grip was tight enough to bruise. “Unless you’d like for your little Snakes to end up like him, I suggest you fall in line.”

How dare he stand there and threaten Kol. Threaten Adrin. Melli. What right did he have to threaten your family?

“We had a deal!” You whispered sharply, yanking hard enough to free your arm. “You said you wouldn’t touch them.”

“Won’t be me that does it.” He shrugged. “Remember, the only power you have is what I let you have. Everything you think you have is from my name. My money.”

“My money.” You countered. “It was my account.”

“Go on, then.” Your father taunted. “I know you’ve been itching for this... Make your choice.”

You nodded quietly. Your hands were shaking by then, still clenched into fists. Your nails were digging into your palms.

‘Let you have.’ Pekka never let you have anything. You built your Crew. You built your alliances. You gave your blood, sweat, and tears to get to that moment. You sacrificed sleep and your own safety more than you could count to make your own stand.

You could lie through your teeth. You had been for weeks at your father’s side. Why did it suddenly feel like you were falling apart?

Was it possible that you weren’t as ready as you thought you were? Was Kaz’s trust misplaced in you?

You forced your feet to move, to take the few steps to be in from by of Kaz again. He looked even worse up close. Despite what happened the night before, despite trying to, you took no pleasure in seeing him in that state. You reminded yourself that it was his plan. He was in control, no matter what it looked like to the outside.

Kaz met your eyes and he softened, a fraction of a percent that you barely noticed. He gave you a tiny nod, the smallest movement of his head.

Trust me.

He knew what was coming and was encouraging you to play along. He was willing to let you beat him, and only a few weeks ago, you would’ve jumped at the chance.

Your eyes flicked down towards your front pocket. He glanced, seeing the folded bit of paper you so meticulously arranged, and met your gaze again.

You drafted the document yourself while you were restless the night before.

Inej’s freedom. All it needed was Pekka’s signature.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. One hand gripped his jacket and the other drew back.

“Forgive me.” You whispered before landing the blow across his jaw.

You hated the split second you enjoyed hitting him.

“Fight back!” You urged quietly.

If only to find an outlet for your own frustration from the night before, an outlet for the pent up desire to knock your father’s teeth in, you hit him once more. Kaz swung once, jamming his fist into your stomach. You exaggerated the cough as you stumbled back, catching the slightest glimpse of the paper disappearing under his jacket.

You had to refrain from smiling.

You turned your back to Kaz, training your eyes on the floor as you stepped closer to your father. He put a hand on your shoulder and gave a light squeeze, a gesture of pride, before he took over.

You squeezed your eyes shut when you heard the kicks. Kaz coughed with each impact. Your own chest grew tight with the discomfort. You banged your fists lightly against your forehead, urging yourself to find composure despite your rolling stomach. You opened your eyes and found one of your recruits looking on in concern. You understood then all the extra that was at stake, how many lives were now contingent on your success. You forced yourself to stand tall, nodded to the man, and drew back your shoulders. You were turning back to your father when you heard the siren.

You smiled in relief. You damn near laughed.

So far, it was working. Wylan’s concoction worked. You never doubted but better to lean on the side of caution. A Lion came to speak to your father and you used the distraction to kneel beside Kaz. You helped him to sit and his hand held tight to your forearm.

“Are you alright?” You asked quietly. Your eyes caught in the wound above his brow.

“You’ve given me worse.” He answered in the same hushed tone.

“Saints, Kaz, I’m so-“ You began and he squeezed your arm tighter.

“We get through this first and we’ll have all the time in the world for apologies.”

You nodded quickly and helped him stand. He leaned into you slightly and your arm was around his back.

“There will be outbreaks at all of your establishments.” Kaz said smoothly. Despite the beating, he was firmly in control.

“And only yours.” You lifted your chin defiantly when your father’s eyes met yours.

“Davina.” Pekka warned.

“The path of contagion will be clear. A ship in your harbor spread the disease to your clubs.” Kaz continued.

“I’d say the Merchant Council will have a proper little investigation open by daybreak.” You commented. “Island nations fear nothing more than disease. Wouldn’t you say?”

“What have you done, boy?” Pekka glared at Kaz. “You turn my own blood against me?”

“No.” You answered before Kaz could. “You did that yourself”

“You never wanted to come home…” Pekka said slowly, angrily, as he realized the truth. “It was all just an act.”

“And a pretty good one.” You turned your head, taking in the faces of disbelief and betrayal from the men loyal to your father. You then looked up at Kaz, who was already looking at you. “Right?”

“Very convincing, Dear.” Kaz agreed.

Pekka laughed to himself, drawing both your attentions back, as he was handed a pistol. He loaded calmly and your free hand itched for one of the three knives on your person. You felt Kaz’s fingers press into you, a silent reminder to stay calm.

Trust me.

How the man never faltered, you didn’t understand.

“You’ve got my attention, for about as long as it takes to put a bullet in your heads.” Pekka threatened.

“Again with the threats.” You clicked your tongue. “You’re not just the tiniest bit curious as to what we’re after?”

Pekka scoffed slightly but made no move.

“Fifth Harbor is shut down. Your businesses are tainted.” Kaz continued.

“My businesses… They’ll be fine.” Pekka shrugged. “‘Specially since it sounds like you missed one. Remember that little deal, Daughter?”

“My businesses were untouched.” You argued. “The Poisoned Rook is clean as ever, as is the former Kaelish Prince… Those deeds are mine, Pekka. Remember that part of the deal?”

He chuckled to himself and then pointed his pistol at your forehead. Behind Pekka, you saw the recruits meant to have your back moving closer together. They whispered hushed words between themselves and took turns glancing at you in question. You didn’t acknowledge them. Instead, you just kept your head high.

“Might want to reconsider.” You said smoothly.

“If you want to see your Kaelish prince again.” Kaz added. “Your other Kaelish prince, that is.”

“Blond hair, fond of sweets, bit of an entitlement issue.” You added. You took a calm step forward, noticed the pistol in your father’s hand falter. The arm you had around Kaz fell away. “Hiding out in the country home my mother loved… Little Alby Rollins.”

“I will kill everything you love.” He threatened.

“You already have.” You spat. “You killed my mother, didn’t you?”

A quick backhand had you laughing. You gently prodded your lip and found it split open.

“I loved your mother.”

“Then why is she buried on this damn island?” You shouted. “She should’ve been cremated. That’s what her side of the family did for the dead. Instead, you shoved her in the ground!”

A left hook that sent you stumbling. One of your turncoats pushed forward but you held up a quick hand to stop him.

“You wanna know what killed her?” He said lowly as you righted yourself to face him. He bent his arm and rested his pistol on his shoulder. “You did, Davi.”

“No.” You shook your head.

“She died of a broken heart when she heard her baby had died in the Barrel. Her little girl ran off and poor Alohra suffered for it. Her heart always was a bit soft, wouldn’t you say?”

You took a shaky step back, hardly registering that he was mocking you at the same time. Maybe fell would be a better word. Kaz made no move to catch you. Rightfully so. If he had, your father would’ve found a way to use that against you both. Instead, you found your own footing and stared at the ground for a moment.

A broken heart… You broke your mother’s heart…

No. He was wrong. He had to be.

It felt like a burning hand had clenched on your heart. You wanted to scream, to cry, to carve out your father’s heart just to see how rotted it truly was. But you did none of those things. You simply lifted your head, ignored the tears falling, and quietly pulled one of the blades from your hip. Pekka glanced down at it and laughed before pointing his pistol at Kaz.

“Same goes for you, boy.” Pekka threatened.

Kaz was unfazed. “The trick is not to love anything. Your mistake is that you let someone get in.”

“What of her, then?” He gestured to you with the pistol.

“He hasn’t killed me because I was the only way he could get close enough to ruin you.” You scoffed. The words felt foreign on your tongue but your voice never wavered. “You see, I knew you couldn’t care less about me as your daughter, as your blood. You’ve proved that quite often. But that dear son of yours, the heir you always wanted… Now, you have him on quite the pedestal. He’s someone you’d sacrifice everything for.”

“And it makes you weak.” Kaz spat.

“Then I’ll just kill you.” Pekka tried, though there was a lack of conviction.

The threat against Alby had him reeling, mentally scrambling for some leverage. You were glad to see him finally suffer.

“Do that and you’ll never find your son in time.” You smiled when the pistol aimed at your chest. “My dear baby brother will die scared and alone, poor thing. It’d be your fault, of course.., How does it feel to ruin both of your children’s lives?”

“What did you do?”

“I buried him.” Kaz answered. “Six feet deep… He went into that box so easily.”

“Didn’t even cry when we took this from him…” You continued, drawing the train car out of your cloak. One side of the material fell open, draping off your shoulder, allowing the sight of your snake tattoo that was peaking out of your shirt collar. “He even liked my tattoo, said he wanted one just like it.”

“Where’s my son?” Pekka asked weakly.

“Make smart choices and you just might reach him before the air runs out.” Kaz warned.

You tossed Pekka the train car and moved a few steps, surveying the crowd as you took your place beside Kaz as he took over. Nina offered an apologetic expression. You found Jesper seated near the bar. The turncoats had spread out by then and made their way to the fronts of the crowd.

No sign of Inej yet.

You tapped a finger against your knife as you met Jesper’s gaze again. Your brows raised and he shook his head.

He hadn’t seen her either.

You frowned slightly but said nothing. You simply faced your father, standing beside Kaz, and watched him try to rationalize what he’d done to Kaz and his brother. Kaz mentioned Alby again and Pekka slammed Kaz against the nearest pillar.

“You tell me where to find my son!” Pekka tried.

You were quick to stand beside them and pressed your blade against your father’s neck.

Lions shifted uneasily around the confrontation but no one moved. You heard the hammers of pistols being drawn back yet none were on you as far as you could tell.

“Like you told me where to find my mother?” You asked, a new darkness falling over your words. “You aren’t in any position to make demands, Pekka. Not anymore. Look around.”

His eyes scanned the crowd briefly before landing back on you.

“Remind me… What were you saying about having no power?” You mocked.

“It’s a simple trade.” Kaz continued calmly. “Speak my brother’s name and your son lives.”

Saints, if you weren’t in love with him before, you were then… Which may not have been the most sane thought you have at that moment.

You yanked your father off and Pekka offered no resistance. You spun your blade and saw there was blood. Glancing over, you saw you had nicked him. It was only a shallow line.

“Maybe he needs another hint.” You told Kaz. “My turn?”

“By all means, Dear.” He pushed off the pillar.

You smiled and he nearly gave you one in return before you faced your father.

“You tried to call me Saskia but I hated that name, refused to come out of my room until you gave up on the ruse.” You began. “Mama put red ribbons in my hair, at your request, because ‘the color brought out the Isle in me’.”

You made a face of disgust at the memory.

“He and his brother-“ You gestured to Kaz. “-were the only real friends, only people I ever liked when I was young.”

That seemed to connect the dots for Pekka and he spouted a few details he remembered. But it wasn’t enough for Kaz.

“I want you to say his name!” He urged.

“Come on!” You shouted in exasperation.

“I don’t remember!” Pekka yelled back. His eyes found yours and you could see the desperation, the plea in his expression. “I just want my son… He’s all I have.”

“And who’s fault is that?” You spat at his feet.

“I’ll give you whatever you want, Davi.”

“Don’t call me that!” You snapped, punctuating your words by pointing your blade at him again. “My name is Davina. Not Little One, not Davi, not your daughter.”

“I’m begging you…” Pekka said quietly.

“Are you?” Kaz casually challenged.

The tension in the Palace was palpable. The demand was clear.

Pekka went down to his knees.

You couldn’t help but gasp slightly. Had you two truly done it? Had you beaten the King?

Kaz pulled two papers from his coat pocket.

“Confession for the murders of Tante Heleen and Constable Sem. An acquittal claim deed for Inej Ghafa.” Kaz spoke clearly.

“Sign both if you want to find your son alive.” You said flatly, crouching to be face to face with Pekka. You pointed your knife as you spoke. “Or don’t and I can sign for you. No one here will object. Will you?” You glanced around the crowd but none of his Lions dared to meet your eyes. You returned focus to your father with a grin. “But if I have to do it, of course that means little Alby’s on his own.”

“Wretched girl.” Pekka cursed.

“You know what they say about apples and their trees.” You shrugged and stood to your full height, tucking your blade away. Kaz dropped the papers and pen. Only a moment passed before Pekka signed them. Kaz looked them over with satisfaction. He looked over at you and nodded.

“You remember where you left my mother, don’t you?” You asked sharply but gave no time for him to answer. “I didn’t think so.. Black Veil Cemetery.”

“You’ll need every man you can spare.” Kaz added.

When the Palace cleared out, you let out a crazed laugh. You put a hand in your hair and the other reached for Kaz, grabbing onto his forearm. He looked down at the contact for a moment then met your eyes. He offered a half smile himself.

“See?” He said calmly, tucking away the papers. “You live to see another day.”

“Maybe my faith was well-placed, after all.” You answered. “I’ll find you later on.”

Before getting an response, you took off. You hurried to Black Veil, hoping you wouldn’t miss the show.

You arrived just as Pekka was being arrested. The sight brought a grin to your face.

“Da?” Little Alby said from in front of you. “Da?!”

You walked up to the boy and put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched and snapped his head up, but settled when he saw it was just you. “What’ll happen to Da?” He asked.

“Well, little brother, Papa wasn’t a good man.” You said calmly. Even in the low light of the moon, you could see the rage in Pekka’s eyes. “He hurt a lot of people before you came into the picture.”

“He hurt you?”

“He did.” You nodded. “Come on. Let’s not wake the dead with our little chat, hmm? Antsy ghosts summon the boogeyman.”

You turned him back towards the carriage.

“I’m not scared.” He said firmly.

“Of course not.” You laughed slightly. “But you see, I’ve met him. They say you hear his cane tapping before you see him. He dresses in all black to match the shadows he hides in. Gloves so you can’t see the claws.” You wiggled your fingers in the crook of his neck and he laughed. “Most don’t dare to speak his name so they call him Dirtyhands. If you so much as touch him, you’re dead within days.”

Alby blew a raspberry. “I don’t believe that.”

“Fine.” You shrugged. “The Boogeyman lives down in the Barrel if you’d like to meet him. We can go knock on his door.”

Alby shifted uncomfortably, eyeing the carriage door.

“Or you can go on home to Applebroek and take care of that place for me.” You offered. “It was special to me when I was your age.”

“Will you visit?”

“I can try.”

He grinned and wrapped his arms around your hips in a hug. You patted his head before sending him off. He stuck his head out the window and waved frantically. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself and return the wave.

One the carriage was out of sight, you headed back into the Barrel. You originally had planned on sitting at your mother’s grave for a bit, but with the Lions still milling uncertainly about Black Veil, you made a silent promise to come back soon.

As you walked the familiar pathways, you noticed the looks you got were different. News was spreading of Pekka’s downfall and the alleged Fire Pox spread. Some were noticeably taking precautions, leaving no potential for exposure, while some were simply running home. The few that were still unsure and were trying to go about their business as usual looked at you with a new understanding. You assumed word was about you and Kaz bringing your father’s control to a screeching halt, but you couldn’t help the curiosity at what details had made it to Barrel streets and which were still tucked away in the Emerald Palace.

You were sure you’d hear all the gossip in the morning.

You stopped off at the Rook first, one of the few establishments still serving, and saw all was well. You couldn’t see a single Lion in the crowd and that brought a smile to your face. Melli waved enthusiastically when she saw you. You returned her gesture before seeing Kol a few feet away. There was relief but also a bit of confusion. You wondered how long had he been at the Rook and whether or not Inej had ever made it to the Palace.

Where was the Wrath after it all?

You went over the Crow Club after that. Adrin and Lockley had everything locked up tight and there wasn’t a single soul except those you designated to be there.

Another wave of relief.

You sent them off, told them to join your Snakes at the Rook. You warned them no one was to travel alone for the next day or so, and that the office was absolutely never to be left unattended. Adrin told you where to find Kaz. Apparently, he sent Jesper to leave word for you before the rest of the Crows were to spend their night drinking at the Rook.

“On the house, apparently.” Adrin added with a shake of her head. “Seems you were feeling quite generous tonight.”

You laughed slightly. “Tonight, we’re all one crew, and in the morning I’ll send Brekker a bill. Tell them to enjoy the victory.”

“What about you?”

“I will… After I thank the Bastard.”

“May the Saints help you.” She patted your back before spreading your orders.

Inej was on her way out of the room when you arrived.

“This…” She said softly, holding the signed document tightly in her hands. “This is the greatest gift anyone can give, Davina. Thank you.”

You bowed your head slightly. “It’s more than deserved, Inej. Don’t thank me.”

“It couldn’t have been easy.”

“Well.” You shrugged. “Easier than other things…” You looked over her shoulder to the half shut door.

She followed your sight and then faced you again with a sigh.

“May I offer some advice?” She asked.

“Please.” You nodded.

“Give him some grace… This, you, it’s all strange for him.”

“I understand I’ve put him in an impossible situation… I can’t expect anything out of it. There’s history that can’t be erased. I know that. I guess I had hope that I would be wrong.” You smiled sadly. “Don’t worry, I have no intent to hold it against him.”

She smacked your arm and your jaw dropped in shock. “I said to give him grace, not a way out.”

“I don’t understand.” Your brows furrowed.

“Clearly.” She mumbled and you frowned. “You push him into new territory. He needs that push. He’s always been so isolated, Davina. Admittedly, his own doing, but he can’t do that with you.”

“The last time I tried to push him, he ignored me. Looked right past me like I wasn’t even there.” You thought back to the night before and frowned at your own embarrassment again. “Whatever you think is there for me, Inej, it isn’t. Besides, I thought you favored him.”

“Suli aren’t meant for one place or another.” She said and there was a sense of longing in her words. “You’ve given me my life back. This life was never supposed to be mine, and I do care for him, which is why I’m telling you this. You are meant for this life, as is he. And as your friend, I’m telling you not to give up on him.”

“My friend, huh?” You smiled. “Seems I’ve won you over after all.”

“Seems so.” She returned the smile. “Keep pushing, Davina. He’s stubborn as all hell but you get through to him in a way I’ve never seen…”

“I shall keep that in mind.” You conceded. “Enjoy the night with your crew at the Rook. Apparently, drinks are on me.”

She laughed. “You may come to regret that.”

“Believe me, I already do.” You chuckled.

She embraced you quickly before hurrying off. You took a deep breath before knocking lightly on the door. When you didn’t get a response, you stepped inside.

Kaz kept his back to you as he flicked his pen in and out sight. You rolled your eyes to yourself before crossing the room and leaning against the edge of the desk. When he still didn’t acknowledge your presence, you turned the chair to face you.

“You should see Zenik about that.” You reached forward and caught him by the chin, gently turning his face to either side to see the blooming bruises and swollen sections of his face. He jerked away from your touch after a moment. “Or I can have Kol help you out…”

“You don’t need to try and take care of me.” He said sharply. “I don’t want your pity.”

You rolled your eyes. “You look like hell, Kaz. Consider it a favor.”

“You’ve given me worse.” He shrugged slightly. “My ear still rings occasionally from when you kicked me in the head.”

You chuckled slightly. “Which was pure luck, by the way.” You confessed. “I never tried that move before.”

“Quite effective.”

“Well, you did leave me a darling of a scar in return.” You gestured vaguely to the line across your cheek. “See a Healer… Please?”

He gave one non-committal nod.

“You know, these next few days are going to be a bit hectic. The Merchant Council will likely call on me to see to my father’s properties once your little plague dies out.” You explained.

“Naturally.” He agreed.

“Which means that I’m not sure when I can get your deed back… Unless you plan to come to the Rook and celebrate with everyone?” You tried and offered a hopeful expression.

“I’d rather not.” He said flatly.

“I see.” You nodded. “You can send them all to my club and offer free drinks, but you can’t go and enjoy yourself for once.”

He said nothing, just stared at the pen in his hand.

“Kaz.” You reached forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. He tensed but said nothing. “We won. You won…”

“He couldn’t say his name, didn’t even remember it.”

“Then he didn’t deserve to say it.” You answered and that got Kaz to look at you. “You and I remember Jordie. I draw him sometimes, when I’m feeling nostalgic… Just because Pekka couldn’t remember doesn’t mean you failed. It just means Pekka’s worse than we thought.”

“He should have remembered.”

“He should’ve.” You agreed. “But maybe it’s enough that we do… I still think about the time he had to drag me inside after I punched the neighbor girl in the eye.”

“Was that the one who took my hat?”

“Yes, and my jacks. She and I never could get along… It’s okay to miss him, Kaz. That just means he’s still with you.”

He seemed to consider what you said. You withdrew your hand and let it fall against your legs with a small smack.

“You should be with your friends.” You kicked at his shin lightly. “Don’t sit around here alone and mope. Come with me.”

“No.” He said flatly.

“Why are you so insistent on misery?” You huffed. “You got what you wanted, didn’t you? My father will be in jail for a good while. You have your crew, your Club. What else do you want?”

Kaz looked up at and in the eye that wasn’t swelling shut, you thought you saw a spark of emotion. He looked at you in silence and you assumed gears were turning in his head. He was thinking of what to say.

“I’m sorry, by the way.” You added, pushing off the desk. “For all I’ve done to you, both in recent weeks and when we were young… I never wanted to hurt you or put you in this situation. I truly hope you can find peace, Kazzle. I suppose that’s all that’s left for you to want.”

“Not all.” He mumbled.

“If you refuse to join us, then I will find you once I have a spare moment. Until then, feel free to move back in at the Club… I assume you still have your key.”

You made your way to the door, pausing to throw one last remark over your shoulder.

“And everything I said before about fate and something more? You don’t have to worry about it.”

You heard the scrape of his chair moving.

“Just the ramblings of a woman assuming she was on death’s doorstep…”

“You didn’t mean it?” He asked. If you hadn’t known better, you almost would’ve believed he was hurt.

“I’m saying you don’t have to be too concerned with it.” You corrected. “I can be professional about rejection… Also, I am about to become what very well may be the most well off woman in the Barrel. I suggest you start thinking of those amends.”

“Vina, wait.“

You didn’t stick around to hear what he had to say.

22 notes · View notes

petertingle-yipyip · 28 days ago

Text

ILLICIT AFFAIRS - KAZ BREKKER

Pairing: Kaz x Reader (established) // Word Count: 3,146

Summary: (request) Can you write an x reader with Kaz Brekker orr Nikolai where they have this secret relationship(others have secrets as well) that stays between them but the reader goes missing and suddenly everything is in chaos and secrets are uncovered?

You hissed as you lowered yourself into the tub of ice water.

The entirety of your body ached. It wasn’t that the specific fights of that night took that heavy a toll, but more so the encompassing fatigue of seven fights in the past seventy-two hours.

Your knees and elbows were bruised from slamming them into your opponents. All of your knuckles were raw and cracked, a mix of your opponents’ and your own blood dried across your skin. Your ribs ached, likely cracked if not broken. Both eyes were heavy and puffy so you closed them. Your lower lip was split wide and several teeth felt loose. Not to mention the slight whistle that came from breathing through your nose. You groaned to yourself as you sunk deeper into the cold so it reached your chin, wishing for the presence of the usual Healer.

The knock that sounded at the door wasn’t his. It was heavier, like an object hitting the door rather than a hand. It wasn’t the Healer but you considered him the next best thing. Your silence was enough of an invitation and the door creaked open.

“I always seem to fight better when you’re here.” You commented easily.

“Showing off then?” He teased.

You laughed slightly, wincing almost immediately with the stitch in your side. “For you, my dear?” You turned towards him and opened your eyes, meeting his ever-surveying gaze as he sat in the nearby chair. “Always.” You smiled.

The corners of his mouth twitched as if he would return the gesture. Instead, his gloved fingers found your chin and turned your face to all angles as he examined your collection of wounds. You pulled away carefully and his frown deepened.

“I’ll see a Healer before I leave.” You promised. “You don’t need to worry so much.”

“That Fjerdan did a number on you.” He complained, resting his elbows on his knees. His cane was resting against the side of the tub. “You shouldn’t have taken the match.”

You shrugged a shoulder. “I would’ve ended up against him next week if I didn’t do it now.”

“You would’ve been in better shape by then.”

“Imagine that.” You grinned teasingly. “The infamous Dirtyhands, legendary Bastard of the Barrel, concerning himself with the well-being of a street fighter.”

“A street fighter with the good sense of a pigeon.” He muttered.

You laughed again, ignoring the pain as best you could.

“Your pigeons may have more, actually.” You grumbled and shifted in the ice. “How’d your winnings fair?”

“I don’t bet on your fights.” He scoffed.

“No?” You raised a brow at him. “It’d be easy kruge. I’m almost offended.”

“I should try harder then.”

You flicked some of the cold water from your fingers at him.

“As soon as I do, they’ll say your fights are rigged.” He reasoned.

“And they’d be the same ones that’d cower if I were to challenge them. I don’t care what they say, Kaz.”

“I do.”

“Why?”

He said nothing. Of course he said nothing. You rolled your eyes with a slight smile. You reached a hand towards him and he took it in a loose hold.

You two stayed like that for a little while longer, exchanging small talk and updates. You promised to stop by the Crow Club the next night if he promised to put money on your next fight. Begrudgingly, he agreed. Though he made a point to say that it was only because he had to make sure you had gone to the Healer.

He helped you out of the tub before he left, even taking the time to wrap the towel around your shoulders. You placed a quick kiss on his cheek before he left. Even though you two had been seeing each other in secret for a bit and he was comfortable enough for some contact without barriers, he still grew red in his cheeks when you kissed him. It always made you giggle, which made him redden a bit more.

“Make sure nobody sees you leave.” You said through your laugh.

“You think so little of me.” He clicked his tongue, threw you a short-lived smile, then disappeared out the door.

You stayed in the ice room for a bit longer. It usually helped avoid suspicions so you used the time to dry your hair.

It was his idea to keep your relationship with Kaz under wraps for a bit. You conceded to the secrecy because you wanted to have Kaz as more than just a regular. You met him before you started fighting, while he was still just the lieutenant. As he took over the Dregs, he insisted that you had to remain safe and he always kept his secrets safe.

It was tedious to dry off and tie your hair up with the soreness across your body. Changing was an even longer task but you managed, then visited the Healer. You were chastised there as well but you tuned out the man’s rants, something about your arrogance and a death wish.

When you were heading out, you ran into a few men in the alley. You recognized them as regulars from the fights but you had never heard their names. The way they looked at you didn’t sit right in your stomach so you shifted your bag on your shoulder with one hand, slipping the other in to find the brass knuckles buried deep in your jacket pocket.

“What is this?” You said carefully. Your fingers found the cold metal and slipped into the holes.

“You’re Brekker’s fighter.” One of them said.

“I’ve no affiliation with the Dregs or Dirtyhands.” You lied smoothly. “I suggest you keep walking before you end up missing your teeth.”

“How much you think he’ll give to get her back?” He asked his friends.

You carefully began to step backwards.

“Enough to set us up for while.” The shorter, stockier one answered. “Even more if he’s desperate.”

“How would that work?” The skinniest one asked.

“Break her.”

You bolted down the alley at that. Your aching joints protested but you refused to slow down, refused to falter. You didn’t know those men but the threat was clear. They would use you to get to Kaz and whatever issues they had with him weren’t for you to be dragged into. You had freed your hand by the time you reached a busier part of the area.

You dared a glance over your shoulder but saw no one pursuing you. The lack of followers didn’t sit right with you but you decided not to chance it. You turned and attempted to blend into the crowd again.

It worked for a while, three or four alleys went by without incident. You knew better than to get comfortable, especially when the crowd thinned. Your fist tightened around the metal weapon around your raw fingers and your eyes were constantly moving. You searched faces, looking for some clue as to where they went, but they blended in as well as you believed you did. There was no sign of them.

You kept your head down and put more urgency into your strides. All you could think was to get to the Crow Club. Kaz wouldn’t let anyone near you, and if Kaz wasn’t there, it was about time to meet his friends anyway.

Less than two blocks away, a thick forearm wrapped around your neck from behind and dragged you away. A scratchy bag was thrown over your head, your bag yanked away and the brass knuckles pried off your fingers. You tried to scream, tried to kick or punch or scratch, but every attempt was thwarted. A hand across your mouth from the other side of the bag muffled your voice. Your flailing feet came up empty and your wrists were caught and yanked in front of you to be tightly bound.

You were caught.

And you were convinced you were going to die.

Two days after seeing Y/N, Kaz received a strange message.

There was no signature from the sender, no patron of a Barrel gang or even a name. It was oddly anonymous and that didn’t sit right with him. He ushered everyone out of his office while he read the scrawled handwriting.

50000 kruge or she dies

The threat made his stomach drop and anger flare in his blood.

Someone had gotten to Y/N. His Y/N. A new rage he’d never experienced sunk into his bones and he was ready to burn all of Kerch around him. His gloved hand tightened on the scrap of parchment while his brain whirled to come up with a plan.

The note was ridiculous. There was no indication of who had her, which was the only part that made sense, but there also wasn’t anywhere to meet. How was he expected to pay them if there was no where to meet? How was he expected to contact them to set up a meeting with nothing?

Amatuers. A haphazard note with no intention behind it other than greed, and of Kaz knew one thing, it was greed. Greed and torture.

Torture was sounding like an even better option with every passing second.

Too many frustrating questions plagued him and he slammed the note to his desk. He swiped his arm across the surface and threw a stack of several books to the floor.

He wouldn’t give them the money. There was no way in hell he’d give in to any sort of blackmail. But he couldn’t stand by and let them have her. He couldn’t let her get hurt. He needed a plan, and he needed his best crew.

Inej would have to find Y/N, have to scout out the building and find a weakness. Wylan and Jesper would be needed to help with either demolition or distraction, likely both. Nina would be needed in case he was too late and they hurt her. Mattias would be needed as muscle to get through any guards. And he’d need them all to hold him back if even one mark was left on her.

He abruptly moved towards the door to gather his Crows when a sudden realization dawned on him.

Someone knew what Y/N meant to him. Despite his caution and insistence that they keep their relationship private - Y/N liked to say it was sacred - someone found out and was using it against him. They were making Y/N a pawn and Kaz wouldn’t stand for that.

He decided with swift assurance that the people who took her would die for it.

With that, however, he understood he had to come clean to his Crows. They were all loyal to him to a fault, but they were also so goddamned stubborn that they would want to know. He counted on Jesper being the one to press the issue first and then they would all chime in and want to know.

It was either come clean or do nothing.

Just the idea of doing nothing ate at Kaz more than the idea of confessing to his friends. They were bound to find out sooner or later, weren’t they? With a reluctant sigh, he headed to collect his inner circle.

“I knew it!” Nina practically shouted after his admittance.

“You did not.” Matthias laughed. “You thought he was off doing drugs.”

“This is how we meet her?” Jesper was offended. “Through a rescue mission?”

“Better than nothing.” Wylan shrugged.

“I knew you were up to something.” Inej smirked.

Every response made him consider throwing himself into the Harbor.

“Y/L/N’s a widely known name. Someone taking her isn’t likely to stay quiet for long.” Inej reasoned. “Do you think this is intended to make a point to you?”

“I don’t recognize the handwriting.” He dropped the pathetic note to the table.

“It’s lazy.” Jesper commented as he threw a hand in a gesture towards the note. “Nowhere to meet. No signature. There’s no pizzazz anymore.” He sighed.

“You have enough pizzazz for us all.” Nina promised.

“Maybe we can find the messenger?” Wylan offered.

“Find them and send the idiots a message of our own.” Nina nodded. “Simple enough.”

“Get on it then.” He ordered then went back to his office.

Inej was on his heels immediately.

“What will you do when we find her?” She asked. There were no undertones or accusations in her voice. Just a simple curiosity.

What would Kaz do?

“Find her if you’re that interested in finding out.” He spat instead.

Inej chuckled to herself, a sound of triumph, then disappeared without so much a creak of floorboards. When he was sure he was alone, in his office with the door firmly closed, he let out a long breath.

He wasn’t quite sure how, but he’d make the men who touched Y/N hurt.

You were on what you thought was your fourth day of capture. The sun only came through a tiny slit in the window, enough for you to just feel on your face if you sat in the right spot. Your hands were bound with a long strip of cloth but you were able to walk the small room. There was a table with a few worn out books, a chair and a cot, threadbare blankets and a pillow, too pathetic to really call it that.

There was no Barrel noise. No doormen luring pigeons, no Pleasure Houses tempting men and women alike, no gambling, no ruckus, no fights. It was the quieter side of Ketterdam, either nearer to the University or the Merchant’s homes. Either way, you knew you’d feel wildly out of place if you stepped outside.

Five times a day so far you were visited by your captors. They never spoke their names and you noted no tattoos on their skin. Whoever these men were, they were rogues. The idea made you uncomfortable. At least if it was a specific gang that wanted you, you could link it back to something specific Kaz did. With these men, they just wanted Kaz.

What the hell the Bastard did, you had no idea. Which meant you’d suffer for it.

Two molars were knocked loose and left on the floor the first day. Your nose had cracked that same day, likely broken. Your left eye had swollen shut on the second, after your head was slammed to the table and a gash opened on your forehead. Your shirtfront was stained with blood and it seeped through the fabric, sticking it to your torso.

Your shoulder was tweaked, not quite dislocated but it wasn’t fully mobile. You couldn’t breathe deeply without pain. You limped rather than walked. The only thing that seemed unaffected were your hands.

You pretended not to be covered in bruises beneath your clothes when banging came from the door. You clenched your jaw and sat on the edge of the cot. Squeezing your eyes shut, you braced for the assault.

So far, there was no definitive answer if the questions or the punches would come first. Would it be just punches this time or would one of them bring the length of pipe again? Would they break something else, make good on the threat to crush your fingers?

One of them threatened to start cutting off pieces - fingertips, ears, toes, hands - and send them to Kaz. ‘As a gift’, he said. You’d bitten his hand soon after that threat, which led to the loss of those two teeth.

When the beating never came, you opened your eyes.

Standing before you was Kaz, offering you his gloved hands.

You grinned, ignoring the pain, and accepted his help to stand. Those nimble fingers undid the knot of fabric and freed your hands. You rotated both wrists, flexed your hands, then threw your arms around your boyfriend. You ignored the slamming pain in your ribs, the stabbing pain in your shoulder, the unsteady feeling in your head at the sudden action.

You simply held him close and whispered prayers of thanks. Kaz was stiff for a moment before melting into the embrace. One arm wrapped around your waist and the other hand was on the back of your neck.

“You’re alright.” He said quietly.

“You came.” You squeaked. Your voice was cracked, throat raw, but you spoke nonetheless.

“Of course I did.”

“How did you know? How did you find me?”

“We can talk about it later.” He took a small step back and examined the damage. “They’ll die for this, Y/N. Every single one of them.”

“Slowly?”

He nodded.

“Painfully?”

“Excruciatingly so.”

“Good.” You nodded.

Ever so gently, his hand came to your cheek. You couldn’t fight the instinct to lean into his palm.

“Have you slept at all?” You asked gently. “You look like you’ve been up for days…”

“For you, my dear, I’d ruin myself a thousand times over.” He said quietly, a confession only you were meant to hear. “You are all that matters.”

“You have to take care of yourself too, Kaz.” You frowned.

“I’ll sleep tonight, when you’re safe beside me.”

“But your friends…”

A crash came from down the hall. You flinched and stepped away from Kaz, instinctively raising your hands. You fought through pain before, and if it meant your freedom, you’d fight through a bullet in the chest. Two men tumbled into the room, neither were your captors.

“There you are, Boss.” One of them smiled to Kaz.

“You must be Y/N.” The other one, a bit shorter with goggles atop his head. “Wylan.” He smiled.

Your brows furrowed but you said nothing.

“She looks good, all things considered.” The first one spoke again, flashing you a bright smile. “Jesper.”

“You’re his crew…” You realized. “And you came for me?”

“Well, yeah.” Wylan shrugged. “What else were we supposed to do?”

“I guess-“ You shook your head. “I didn’t expect you two, is all.”

“It’s not just us. We’ve got three more out front.” Jesper gestured to the open doorway.

“Tell me one of them is a Healer?” You looked back to Kaz.

“You should know I come prepared.” He answered, the corner of his mouth tilting up in a half smile.

“My hero.” You teased.

“Guess it’s time for introductions then.” He was looking at Kaz.

“Saints help me.” You muttered.

Jesper and Wylan led you out. You stayed beside Kaz, your limped stride ironically matching his. Jesper talked the whole time and Wylan added a few comments. You could feel yourself growing more overwhelmed with each painful step but you were tired of heads down, clandestine meetings, pretending you weren’t in love with Kaz.

Despite less than ideal circumstances, you were thankful to finally shine a light on your relationship.

You tapped the back of your hand against his and silently, keeping his eyes forward, his gloved fingers laced through yours.

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