#incorrect crows

[five-of-cr]

the crows as reductress headlines: part 1

[graaaaaayy]

Incorrect Crows

jesper : relationships should be 50/50. wylan cooks us dinner while i sit on the counter and look pretty. ____________________________________

kaz : goodnight to the love of my life, Inej and fuck the rest of y’all. ____________________________________ Jesper: From now on we will be using code names. Jesper: You can address me as Eagle One. Jesper: Kaz is “been there done that”. Jesper: Wylan is “currently doing that”. Jesper: Matthias is “it happened once in a dream”. Jesper: Nina is “if I had to pick a girl”. Jesper: And Inej is.. Jesper: Eagle Two Inej: Oh thank god. ____________________________________

The crows’ reaction to being told they're the chosen one Wylan : I will not let you down. Jesper: Sounds fun. Inej : K. Kaz : No, I'm fucking not. Nina: Do I have to be? Matthias: Please god, I am so tired.

[nerdlingmerchling]

Jesper: I think the scarecrow you've put on the front lawn isn't working.

Wylan: What do you mean?

Jesper: Kaz is at the door again.

[thecrxwclub]

“He can’t even bother to learn my name. It’s not even a long name.”

— SHADOW AND BONE S2 BEING A COMEDY pt1

[ivashkovadrian]

incorrect crows quotes #6

[ruins-and-rewritez]

Inej: mom, dad, I want you to meet my friends

Inej: this is bad choices, daddy issues, chaos theory, and rush to judgement.

Inej: and this is my boyfriend... traumatic backstory

The Crows:

Inej's mom:

Inej's dad: it's nice to meet you all

Inej: 😁

[sunfloweringstories]

Real quotes from my life as Crows (and Sturmhond):

Nina: “Okay don’t bring your self-hatred in here we are trying to hate on you.”

Jesper: “Of course I’m a fire hazard, I’m a total smoke show!”

Kaz: “This is so weird,”

Jesper: “What, that you walked into a church and didn’t burst into flames?”

Sturmhond: “I have a past”

Nina: “What kind of past?”

Sturmhond: “Let’s just say it rhymes with fiminal”

Inej, about Kaz: “It’s a walking ball of bad decisions”

Jesper: *hanging a poster* “Is this straight?”

Nina: “No you’re gay.”

Jesper: “Oh it’s gonna go so badly I’m excited.”

Inej: “They killed a fruit tree.”

Nina: “Jesper, you’re next!”

Nina, probably to Matthias: “You have to choose who to let brainwash you.”

Nina: “If this snake was a man, he’d be Chris Hemsworth. Look at that jaw…”

Wylan: “Sometimes it’s fun to just laugh at stupid stuff.”

Jesper: “Yeah! Wait, you laugh at me all the time!”

Inej: “He just can’t admit he has feelings.”

Kaz: “You can’t prove that I do.”

Nina: “If actions didn’t have consequences, I would not be good.”

Wylan: “You’re so demanding.”

Jesper: “Yeah I’m demanding, I’m DA MAN.”

Wylan: “Will you get your sharpshooter he’s trying to jump scare me”

*loud thump*

*pause*

Jesper: *muffled* “I might be mildly stuck.”

Inej: “Can you turn the oven off?”

Jesper: “I can turn anything off: appliances, women…”

Matthias: “What part of ‘AAAHHHH’ did you not understand?”

Jesper: “I will die!”

Kaz: “That’s fine.”

Nina: “I don’t make the laws.”

Inej: “I think that you should.”

Nina: “No that would be bad because I just wouldn’t make any.”

Jesper: “It’s okay to be a slut, it’s not okay to be a whore.”

Jesper: “It’s ParmesON. Get it? Like ‘it’s on’ but Parmesan.”

Kaz: “I think you should start using drugs to have an excuse.”

[wylanpersnalreadingboy]

Nina: *speaking Spanish*

Kaz: I know, I know.

Inej: You speak Spanish?

Kaz: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Nina speaks.

[doorlene]

matthias: you have friends and i envy that

nina: you can share my friends

matthias: [looks at the crows]

matthias: i don't want those.

[miss-fabrikator]

Saints, you guys love Wesper don't ya-

[five-of-cr]

Them 🧡🩵

[graaaaaayy]

jesper: welcome to applebee’s do you want the apples or the bees?

matthais, confused: bees?

jesper: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES!

nina: *walks out of the kitchen aggressively shaking a jar of bees*

[nerdlingmerchling]

Kaz: You've grown too attached to Wylan. He makes you weak.

Jesper: Yes. In the knees, mostly.

[thecrxwclub]

social media crows : privtwt accounts

(jesper set up kaz’s and he can’t figure out how to delete his profile picture and header so he’s plagued with an actual twitter account)

[ivashkovadrian]

incorrect crows quotes #7

[ruins-and-rewritez]

Some guy at the Silver Six right after Kanej gets married: don't have kids man...I'm telling ya, you'll never sleep again

Kaz, who hasn't slept in 10 years: oh no