#BUT HE’S LITERALLY A KID ???????
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.
#batman#batfam#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dc comics#icb i posted this w/o tags the first time#what is wrong w me#superman: where do you find these kids#bruce: they just show up tbh#especially tim. he LITERALLY just showed up#anyone: so which one is really robin?#bruce: they are all really robin.#bruce: dick wanted to kill a man.#jason tried hijacking my tires in CRIME ALLEY.#tim just appeared and made himself robin that was NOT me#stephanie also wanted to kill a man.#damian did kill a man. or two.#YOU try to parent these kids then come back to me clark
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Why did William get FNAF springlocked? Is he stupid?
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#william afton#henry emily#springtrap#fnaf 3#fnaf fanart#THIS COMIC is unserious#but to answer the question yes William is stupid BAHAH#I could imagine William wouldn’t be that shaken up by his employees getting injured#if anything he’d blame them for literally lack of skill#phone guy even explains that death or injury isn’t the company’s fault#so obviously William has just shrugged these things off for years#THEN this is why he’s stupid#he got in the springlock suit to scare ghost kids away#laughed in a wet suit and was shocked when it failed on him#THE TRUE skill issue seeing he of all people should of known better#common William L his hubris will always be the death of him
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something something ... Stanford "Why didn't Rudolf just kill the other reindeer?" Pines and Fiddleford "I create death-mechas when my feelings get hurt" McGucket
#i like to imagine that stan has to be the one to bring these two nerds back down to earth when things get too out of hand#like hes all for “light violence” but THOSE TWO tend to take it to the extreme and he aint into all that lmao#i also like to imagine that mabel would be just as deranged as ford and fidds#<- literally screams “DEATH” as Blendin's punishment after Globnar so i think it would be in character for her lmao#not that the kids would actually flat out murder someone#but they'd probs end up planning one in excrutiating detail#to the point where stan has to be like “okay this is getting TOO REAL guys.. ”#gravity falls#gravity falls au#relativity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket
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best thing about batman is that he's a superficially grimdark character, gothic & brooding & angst ridden etc..........but then it turns out he has a million hobbies, regularly goes on adventures with his besties, and has a dozen adopted kids he's raising with his devoted foster dad. good for him
#dude's out there living his best life he's just goth#batman's hobbies include staying active...world (and space) travel...volunteer work in his local community#plus bonding with his kids over shared interests. (every day is take-your-kid-to-work-day in the Bats household)#he's even casually dating a woman from work (she's a cat lady not looking for commitment but yeah she's met his kids)#rich and fulfilling lifestyle#he is out there living a thrilling and exciting life surrounded by friends and family!!!#literally he's just goth and autistic leave him alone
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yeah simon is the one to scare people away when they get too close you, using his size and movement to intimidate, simultaneously shielding you behind him
yeah soap is the one barking loud, creating a spectacle and calling people out, and warning them away
yeah kyle is the one humiliating people, mocking offenders until either their own actions dawn on them or they finally recognize the venom in his eyes
but price is the one that launches into swinging. there is no warning, no hesitation. taking a step, even a single word against you, warrants immediate action in his mind. it's no laughing fucking matter. you are a top fucking prize, his prize, the best the world has to offer. john is rabid in his protection, bearing tooth and boot and claw and fist. there’s no point in talking to him or trying to negotiate, an offense is an offense and he won’t meet it halfway. someone looks at you the wrong way? they won't be able to see out of swollen eyes after headbutts them, crushing their nose. someone whispers something nasty about you? good luck even eating with that jaw wired shut. god forbid someone touches you, the other three boys can barely hold him back. john will break countless bones in every way he knows and beat his knuckles bloody if your smile starts to drop.
#tf 141#is this explicitly poly? no. but it still is. sorry thems the rules#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#johnny soap mactavish#captain john price#cod x reader#simon riley x reader#kyle garrick x reader#johnny mctavish x reader#john price x reader#don't look at this too closely or you'll see my issues#they're always out on display tho who am i kidding lmao#john price who has had enough of keeping everyone under control. including himself#john price who literally cannot stop himself when someone he loves is involved or in a vulnerable position#john price who doesn't want to fucking hold back
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Thinking about Laura scolding her dads for smoking. They're both on the couch, Logan with his cigar, Wade with a fucking menthol.
Laura: You're gonna get cancer!
Wade: I already have cancer
Logan: I can't get cancer
Wade: *glares* Lucky bastard
#this post is a reminder that wades entire body is made up of cancerous cells and he is forever burdened with life because of it#the cancer is quite literally keeping him alive#and killing him 24/7#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#deadpool#wade wilson#deadpool 3#wolverine#laura kinney#laura x23#x23#don't smoke kids#you are not deadpool OR wolverine#you do not have regeneration powers
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Little Stan getting manipulated by Bill has excellent angst potential but consider.
Stanley just, keeps tricking Bill. Because Bill would definitely massively underestimate Stanley and how far he’ll go to protect Ford (like in the actual show). We also know Stanley has the street smarts between the twins and could absolutely tell Bill is full of it.
And because Bill would absolutely loose his mind if he kept getting foiled by a snot nosed eight year old that isn’t even supposed to be here
I like to think that he doesn’t even try that hard he just does not even care about bill
#I saw someone saying that ford calls bill this master manipulator that uses mind tricks to get his way#but ford is just socially inept and desperate for validation from his muse that he just#falls for it insanely easily#ford and fidds being all like “BEWARE BILL - HE’LL TRY TRICK YOU!! HE’S DANGEROUS!!”#and little Stan is confused like “you mean that guy who tried to convince me to sell you out for like knowledge or whatever?”#remember - Stan is literally the one who tells dipper how to defeat Bill in their first fight with him#he’s also the one to finally beat him at the end#and the only one NOT to make a deal with Bill#I reckon even as a kid he wouldn’t give his brother up for anything.#my art#ask#twins in time au#stan pines#stanley pines#bill cipher
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We love MK, child of un-divorced. The next update will be more gay. And fluffier.
Shadowpeach Bio Parent AU (PREV / FIRST / NEXT )
before saying anything, read the stuff under the cut
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About wukong and macaque
Both these bitches did wrong, but remember that MK saw the vision starting from the fight itself, not what happened before. He then read the chapters of the book and read that Macaque also attacked. I personally think he's mostly hurted by what Wukong did, not because it's worse of what Macaque did, but because he idolized Wukong for so long, and while he know he did so many wrongs in the past, his vision of a "hero" dissapeared in this moment. He s mostly dissapointed let's say. Of course it's not the best of things to put tour heroes on a pedal because you will always be dissapointed. I guess MK learned the lesson...
About what MK said in panel 8
Our monkey boy is remembering his own very stupid thing he sacrificied himself without trying to talk it out with the others AND using the circuit on Wukong.
About the posters
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Yes they were Monkey King posters. MK ripped them immediately after the vision because he still was not sure was reality and vision and was scared.
About the eye
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Because I would prefer no one dies of angst, his eye is fine, it s more like symbolism.
#this was so hard to write#how do you write an argument with two people#both of them are in the wrong but one is slightly more?#like-don't get me wrong#what wukong did was worst but still- it's not like we can say macaque have been an angel up til now. he still almost killed mei.#and the pilgrims#who were literally under the command of the highest forces of heaven#my art#kyri45#comic#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk fanart#lego monkie kid fanart#lmk season 5#lmk shadowpeach#lmk monkey king#lmk sun wukong#lmk macaque#shadowpeach#shadowpeach bio parents au#lmk six eared macaque#liu er mihou#lmk mk#lmk qi xiaotian#monkey mk#monkey qi xiaotian#tw eye trauma#eye trauma#trigger warning eye trauma
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*I worship you Tumblr please don’t remove it
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Picky eater
#his families and friends’ dead bodies turned into monsters#HIS FAMILIES AND FRIENDS’ DEAD BODIES TURNED INTO MONSTERS!!!#this kid literally survived zombie apocalypse#while being convinced he’s like 50% zombie#like#Ughhh#dungeon meshi#SquareCloud#kabru of utaya#dungeon meshi spoilers#:’p
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Bruce coming home one day to find Robin Jason clinging onto a chandelier with Dick below him cheering him on.
Bruce: Jason what are you doing?
Jason: Dick said that you missed his antics after he moved out and so he’s teaching me how to be a better son
Dick: After this we’re going to drive the Batmobile into the bay :D
Jason: We’re going to what? I mean yeah! Right into the water.
Jason trying to whisper to Dick: Dick I can’t swim though
This just further fuels the chaotic dynamic of Dick and Jason during a time where Dick was still going through his teenage angst and was absolutely not a benevolent role model LMAO
I mentioned it in this post, but it's just so funny to me to imagine a Jason who grew up with an absolutely WILD Dick Grayson as an older brother, while the younger batkids grew up with a more mellowed out and mature (arguable but when measured against the other kids, he wins by a landslide) Dick Grayson.
Robin!Jason era:
Dick: You wanna go out and get high?
Jason: I can't, I have homework.
Dick, sputtering: HOMEWORK?
----
Dick, about to do an elaborate (and totally not dangerous) acrobatic move in the manor: Watch this, littlewing
Jason: You shouldn't do that, it'll make Bruce upset.
Dick, on the brink of angry tears: Why are you like this.
----
Jason, dejected: Listen, I know you don't approve of me because you think I'm not good enough as Robin, but-
Dick: Not good enough as Robin? I don't care about that, I just think you're a little bitch
----
Dick taking Jason out on a hangout for the first time: OK, looks like I got my work cut out for me. Take out a notepad and write everything down. I will NOT have my successor embarrass me like this. So what you wanna do to piss off Bruce-
---
[Years later, Jason returning to Gotham with the fury of a thousand suns and the chaos to match it]: I'm gonna make your life a living HELL, Bruce
Dick, older and relatively more chilled out: Okayyyyy, maybe let's just– calm down a lil, haha, no need for the theatrics
Jason, betrayed, observing a Dick Grayson who is teaching his new younger siblings to behave and be mature: Dick, what the FUCK
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Present!Dick, mentoring Tim: Make sure not to be too impulsive, don't wanna raise Bruce's blood pressure
Red Hood!Jason spying on them from afar: Who even ARE you??
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Jason: So you teach me ALL of that, only to turn into the ONE thing you despised so greatly all those years ago
Dick, sweating: Well-
Jason: I'm ASHAMED. How can you be worthy of being called my PREDECESSOR?
#Jason (disappointedly): you either die a villain or live long enough to see yourself become a hero#Dick: we have so much to catch up on! anyways so Tim became Robin and I'm a cop in Bludha-#Jason (incredibly distraught): YOURE A COP??!?#Jason to tim: Alright looks like I have to be the one to pass on Dick's legacy now LISTEN HERE-#ok but seriously Tim is already insane on his own. kid didn't need dick's guidance at all. he's just like that#imagine the chaotic older brother u grew up with turned out to be a cop id literally throw up#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#tim drake#red robin#robin!jason#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbros#bruce wayne#batman#dc#incorrect quotes#crack#fanatical asks#fanatical posting
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Spawn fans: arguing with Ascended fans.
Ascended fans: arguing with Spawn fans.
Me, a true Astarion Enjoyer:
#i hate all the negativity can't we all just enjoy our favorite versions of him?#he's literally a choose your own adventure vampire boyfriend why are we fighting lol#i get why people get defensive of their personal interpretation of him#but the fact that there's always so much ascended vs spawn arguing after every patch is just...#kids could you lighten up a little#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion romance#ascended astarion#spawn astarion#baulders gate 3
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Gregory has it best out of the new FNAF protagonists..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf gregory#fnaf oswald#fnaf cassie#security breach#fnaf ruin#into the pit#fnaf fanart#I DREW OSWALD AGAIN 🔥#now I’m not saying Gregory had it SUPER easy#he definitely still went through a lot of harrowing stuff#BUT compared to the other two?? Gregory definitely had more of a fun time#mean when he was in the pizzaplex it was still active#he also had Glamrock Freddy with him most of the time#he basically got two new family members out of the experience#CASSIE though literally was alone#tricked by the mimic to go to an abandoned building#and may or may not of been betrayed by Gregory at the end#WHILE Oswald literally went through a Coraline like story#dude literally saw kids his age get murdered#his dad gets kidnapped and the agony creature pretends to be his dad#SO YEAH Gregory probably had the best time BAHA#I will not stop drawing all FNAF characters casually hanging out 💜#it’s always fun to do!! 🩵🩵
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i saw comic panels of baby jaybin and i felt like doodling him for a little bit
#yes he is a she-ra fan#i will kill you if you say no#i have my rock ready#jason is a fan of she-ra and then he saw wonder woman and went “oh my god”#jason todd#jaybin#red hood#the difference kills me#he's a little guy#“he was out of control” that baby????#me pointing at baby jason: that's literally a little baby guy#every time they victim blame jason todd i grab another rock to lob at their heads#HE WAS A GOOD KID SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
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— stardust
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the world is a vast place. in the grand scheme of things, humans are but a speck of dust; much like how you are sure you are nothing but a meagre speck of dust in the world he lives in, forever to be remained unseen. (if only you knew how you are the brightest star he'd ever laid his eyes upon.)
CONTAINS : gn!reader, 1.5k wc, royalty!au, contract marriage/marriage of convenience, fluff, smitten reca bc what would he be other than smitten, a little hint of bittersweet at the end if read between the lines aha...
A/N : ....i have a paper due monday. i havent started it. why do i do this to myself. (reca i love u can u not hear my cries and wails as fic after fic appears in my brain for u...)
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Duke Reca of the northern territory; to many he is a well-accomplished noble, a young genius set for greater things, and the owner-slash-founder of the top theatre company. He is an idol — a role model to those who aspire to be more involved in the artistic side of the world.
To you, however, he is an absolute lunatic, the bane of your existence, and your contractual husband.
It's not like you had much choice. It was either: a) remain as a hollow puppet whose strings danced at your family's fingertips, or b) find some way to escape with outside power.
You, of course, chose the second option. Unfortunately, that somehow led to you meeting the young duke when out in the shopping district, trying to escape the suffocating presence of your family's knights accompanying you by running into a secluded alleyway, even if it was for but a momentary breather.
It was a whirlwind of a meeting... quite literally. Bodies flew; clothing tousled; breaths stolen. Well, at least for you it was like this. He, on the other hand, looked right as rain. (Lucky bastard.) You hadn't realised it was him at first, too absorbed in hasty apologies and the numbing bloom spreading across your backside like a wildfire (really, they ought to incorporate more padding in these flimsy clothes!), but when he uttered an apology of his own for not paying attention to his surroundings with an arm outstretched to help you stand, your mind all but blanked. What was someone of his status doing in a dingy alley? Didn't the newspapers report word of his self-confinement, having not stepped foot outside his manor in fervent preparation of his upcoming performance?
No, never mind all that; wasn't this a blatant opportunity being presented to you? An outside power that could help you escape the clutches of your family...
With gritted teeth, all sense of self-dignity was cast aside as you grasped his outstretched hand with both of your own, gazing into his widened eyes with your own narrowed ones.
"Your Grace, I know this is hardly the appropriate time nor place, but please... marry me!" Your words echoed within the enclosed space. Duke Reca blinked slowly down at you, and it was then you realised you never elaborated. "In... in a contractual marriage of convenience, of course."
"Oh?" he grinned, amusement and intrigue twinkling in his eyes. "And what is it you can offer me?"
"I..." Truthfully, there was nothing you could offer which would be beneficial to someone like him who had everything at the tips of his fingers. You were but a speck of dust in his world, merely floating and remaining unseen within his view. But even so, here you kneeled before him, his gaze wholly fixated on a speck of dust such as yourself. If nothing else, you at least had your desperation — a desperation to be your own person. "My lineage may be from that of a baron's, but I am confident I can be of use to you if you would permit it. So long as you accept my offer, I will do anything to aid you, whether that be through practical means or a performance you wish to see."
A beat of silence.
"Ha... haha... ahahaha!!"
And, as if things couldn't get any worse than a sore rear and disgruntled self, you were pulled out of your daze by a pair of gleaming carmine eyes, a maniacal grin, and his body, now kneeled just like you were, so very close to your own.
"That determination... how brilliantly you burn with such an expression!" The sheer glee which bled through his tone sent shivers down your spine, having never realised someone so esteemed had such a side to him. The duke breathed a breathy laugh and slightly backed up, his hands still holding your arms. "Alright, I look forward to seeing how brightly you will shine in your performance, my dear leading actor."
...Was it too late to back out and find an alternative solution?
Admittedly so, for the next thing you knew vows were declared and you were moved into the duke's residence. You could still remember your family's aghast expressions the moment you declared you were marrying Duke Reca and thus cutting ties with them. It was oddly freeing to see their contorted faces reveal their true nature.
Life as the duke's spouse was... something, to say the least. His servants and attendants almost seemed to have shed tears of joy at the revelation of their ever so lonely duke (their words, not yours) finally settling down and getting married, asking you questions such as how you both met, what drew you to their duke, who popped the question first, why you chose him of all people, so on so forth. It was... cosy. Something you admittedly weren't very accustomed to, but found yourself welcoming nonetheless.
One thing you never expected was for the duke to have a little pet of his own; a little toad dressed in a miniature beret and matching suit, at that. Assistant Director is what Reca had called her, and you think for someone so obsessed with the arts he ought to up his naming sense. She was also quite susceptible to compliments, something you discovered when commenting on the little toad's cute attire, with the duke's baffling translation of her bashfulness and her own compliment on your own looks. Apparently. You're not really sure, but you're inclined to believe it ever since she claimed a spot on your shoulder.
As the days-turned-weeks-turned-months bled into each other, you found yourself oddly lost at how well-adapted you have become of your new life and the duke's personality. From impromptu displays of affection both in and outside the manor to sporadic radio silence on his end when wholly consumed by his fervent passion for a project, you sometimes wonder just how you're still alive with the amount of heart attacks the man has given you.
But despite his... eccentricities, to put it lightly, there are times where you can't quite put a finger on certain expressions he would make when he thinks you're not looking. They're unlike his (once again, to put it very lightly) passionate eyes when rambling to you during mealtimes about an upcoming performance the troupe has; unlike the sheer mania he can exude when something truly sparks his inspiration; unlike the playfully smug grin he would give you when swooping down in dramatic flair to press a long kiss to the back of your palm; unlike the rare darkening of his expression that you cannot help but stiffen at when something or someone in the troupe doesn't quite match his expectations.
No. These ones are... soft. A kind of tenderness and unprecedented longing able to be identified if scrutinised close enough. It was evident in the ghost-like touches he would trail along your skin, as though afraid just a little more force would do irreparable damage. It was evident in the attention to even the most minute details, having everything from clothing to food to the decor suited to preferences you yourself never realised you had. It was evident in the way unadulterated fondness leaked through his tone when his unique terms of affection for you slipped through his lips when all was silent and you were supposed to be asleep.
"My dearest star..."
...Much like now, it would seem.
The bed dips by where your knees slightly bend, hidden under the beige covers. A familiar musky scent surrounds you not long after, and you find yourself involuntarily relaxing at the comfort it brings as your head further burrows into the pillow.
You want to stay awake, even if it's just for a second longer, to hear what he has to say to your less than conscious state. But, oh, his fingers threading through your hair and softly massaging your scalp and the gentle touch of his forehead against yours and the subtle comforting warmth that rolls off his body in waves does little to help you fight the sleep which easily takes over.
Oh, whatever! You'll just try and catch what he has to say next time.
Eventually your breathing evens out, only soft snores now heard within the large shared bedroom. Upon noticing this, Reca cannot stop the fond smile which lifts the corners of his lips, nor can he prevent the softening of his eyes as he continues to gaze at your sleeping form.
"My dearest [Name]," he whispers into the dead of night. Even now, several months later, he still cannot believe his luck to have run into you in that alleyway. It must have been fate which made him heed its call, urging him he would discover something sure to escape that terrible slump plaguing him for weeks on end.
Sure enough, it brought him to something irreplaceable; something he has been searching desperately for.
You.
And, with the tenderest of kisses pressed to your forehead that would put even the most sickening romantics to shame, he murmurs words of promise against your skin, an oath he swears to uphold no matter the obstacles which stand before him.
"In this life, I will ensure you have only the best of endings."
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if you enjoyed this, reblogs and/or comments are greatly appreciated <33
#mr reca x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#mr reca x you#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#PEOPLE CAN FIGHT ME ON DUKE OF THE NORTH RECA IDC IDC I WILL NOT BACK DOWN !!! NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT??? NEVER GIVE UP !!!#im sorry . royalty aus are my achilles heel... my roman empire...#also literally the first thought i had when his model was first leaked was 'HES THE DUKE OF THE NORTH !!! HE HAS THE HAIR AND SUIT !!!!'#his lc when it was leaked further solidified that idea 🧍♀️#anyway his cn voice <3333 literally have had it looped for the whole day i kid u not ;w;;;#it just... hit everything perfectly.... the itch is well-scratched..........
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Crack idea: Jason Todd gets all dressed up one day for smth and styles his hair and everything. Immediately gets mistaken for Bruce.
He cries in the bathroom for an hour
#I just think it’s funny if they look alike#Jason would HATE it#Bruce would secretly love it but obvi never tell anyone#literally tho if you just give that kid a new hairstyle and some dye for the forelock#he’s a dead ringer for Bruce#or the DC artists just have same face syndrome#text post#Jason Todd#dc#dc comics#red hood#Batman
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Tim Drake’s Unhinged Power Move (ft. Marriage, Ra’s al Ghul, and an Uncomfortable Batfamily)
No one really understood how it started. One moment, Tim Drake was Red Robin—tired, overworked, and fueled by caffeine. The next, he was dropping a bombshell in the middle of a routine debrief:
“Oh, by the way, I married Ra’s al Ghul.”
The room froze.
Dick’s dumbbell hit the floor. Jason choked on his beer. Damian’s sword slipped from his hand. Bruce, staring at Tim like he’d grown a second head, barely managed a strangled, “Tim. What did you do?”
Tim took a sip of his coffee, utterly unfazed. “It’s a power move.”
Jason, wheezing with laughter: “Oh my god. You married Ra’s out of spite? Replacement, I’ve never been prouder.”
Tim smirked. “Something like that.”
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It wasn’t really spite.
Ra’s had been obsessed with him for years. The offers of succession, the constant attempts to lure him to the League—it was never-ending. Tim was tired. Tired of being hunted, tired of the games. So, one day, he called Ra’s’ bluff. If Ra’s wanted him so badly, he’d have to deal with all that came with it. Including Tim’s unrelenting need for control.
Ra’s agreed.
And just like that, Tim Drake became the most terrifying in-law the batfamily had ever seen.
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Talia didn’t know what to think at first.
She’d seen it all before—people manipulated by Ra’s, twisted into tools for his will. But Tim? He didn’t play by those rules. He sat at Ra’s’ desk, sifting through League reports like they were Gotham case files. He didn’t bark orders; he made suggestions. And then, the soup happened.
Talia returned from a mission, bruised and exhausted. Tim, barely looking up from his paperwork, said, “Sit. You’re hurt.”
She scoffed. “I don’t need your pity.”
“It’s not pity. It’s soup.”
Talia stared. “Why?”
Tim shrugged. “You looked like you needed it.”
It became a routine. She’d return from missions, and Tim would be there. Not with judgment. Not with manipulation. Just quiet support. He listened. He offered advice. He treated her like a person, not a pawn.
Somehow, they started having regular bonding time. Shopping trips. Quiet conversations on the balcony. Tim became a person Talia could trust—a concept she hadn’t believed possible.
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Damian was losing his mind.
“Drake!” he hissed, cornering Tim in the Batcave. “You’ve… corrupted my mother!”
Tim raised an eyebrow. “Corrupted? She’s thriving.”
“She smiles at you!”
“I’m very charming.”
Damian’s finger trembled as he pointed. “This makes you… my grandmother.”
Tim smirked. “Respect your elders, grandson.”
“I REFUSE!”
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Bruce was spiraling.
“Tim, this is dangerous.”
“Relax,” Tim replied, sipping his coffee. “I’ve got it under control.”
“You married one of our greatest enemies!”
“Think of it as an undercover op,” Tim said, voice calm and unyielding. “I’m playing the long game.”
Jason, from the sidelines, grinned. “He’s playing 4D chess, and you’re still on checkers.”
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The Real Chaos?
Tim didn’t marry Ra’s to make him happy. Hell no. If anything, it made Tim sick to his stomach knowing Ra’s was smug about it. But if putting up with Ra’s al Ghul meant protecting Talia, stabilizing the League, and giving Damian a family that didn’t break apart at the seams?
He’d endure.
Because Talia was healing. Damian’s mother was smiling. And Ra’s… well, Ra’s thought he’d won.
But the real winner? Tim Drake.
Gotham’s most unhinged vigilante had just become the League of Assassins’ terrifying step-parent. And honestly? It suited him.
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Damian, whispering to Alfred: “I need… therapy.” Alfred: “We all do, Master Damian. We all do.”
#tim drake#batfam#talia al ghul#ra's al ghul#grandma tim drake#league of assassins#tim drake power moves#damian in a crisis#tim joins the league in the most unhinged way possible#I want to see tim and talia bonding#tim would be the greatest step parent ever and you can't convince me otherwise#he literally raised bruce out of his grief#talia deserves to be cared for and tim is going to be the greatest step dad for her because she deserves so much#tim helps talia be more present in damian's life and somehow ends up parenting the rest of the bat kids as well#with the exception of tim of course#brain rot and silly post moment
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