#and the only one NOT to make a deal with Bill
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fresh-bag-of-ham · 2 days ago
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look. spirk went canon for the first time when spock went into heat and they fucked wrestled on vulcan and spock's heat broke even though jim only faked his death. then they got divorced and spock tried to purge all emotion from his body. then spock realized that jim is his soulmate and feelings are good actually and they held hands which is vulcan for kissing and spirk went canon a second time. then spock died and they had to regrow his body and put his soul back in it and he had to relearn all his memories and finally he remembered jim and spirk went canon a third time. then they were married for a while and saved some whales, met god, had to deal with spock's terrorist cult-leader brother, space chernobyl happened and the soviet union the klingon empire fell and jim was framed for murder and spock had to find the real killer. then jim got sucked into another dimension and died (don't @ me i refuse to even watch this one) and spock lived for like a hundred more years and then got zapped into an alternate universe where he didn't know anyone and had to play spiritual guide to chris pine and zachary quinto, and then he ALSO died. and that was the end! and we just lived like that! for decades! but NOW, thanks to executive producer bill fucking shatner, old jim got to meet even older spock on the astral plane one last time and DOUBLE HELD HANDS which we can only conclude is vulcan making out with tongue. so yes, for a fourth time, spirk has gone canon
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meimei-archives · 2 days ago
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KEEPSAKE!:: rafe cameron
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WARNING! :: 80's au, playboy! Rafe, car sex, riding, hair pulling, oral, fingering, teasing, fingering, slight edging, overstimulation, slight rejection, teasing, sexual tension, spanking
SUMMARY!:: after a failed date you expect some sort of a reward for putting up with Rafe Cameron who still seems to be hung up on his ex.
PT2
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Rafe Cameron has been on many dates. One would even say that he has hooked up with half of the girls after said dates— which were all unsuccessful. It's not that there was anything wrong in particular with the people he has taken out, it's just that none of them have piqued his interest for a second one. And it just so happens that you had been taken on one of said dates.
When Rafe asked you out on a date to the movies and dinner you hadn't expected the movie to be some trashy chic flick about an American actress going to Italy and falling in love with her friend's married Italian lover. It dragged on for 2 hours and you couldn't stand to sit through the first minute of opening credits. But not only did you sit through a silent car ride on your way to the restaurant but when you sat inside the restaurant it felt like this terrible date would never end.
"I used to be on the basketball team before I graduated and I started working with my dad,he’s really been pushing me to work towards more deals and shit" he rambled on and on for what felt like a lifetime. Only nodding off as he rambled on and on about his father and something about how his sister was stuck up; at least you think so- you’ve barely been paying attention.
But low and behold the lovely waitress with a tight lipped smile "would you like your bill.. or would you like to swing by a little later?" She asked politely looking at the both of you. "You can give us our check now" you answered quickly before pulling 30 dollars out of your pocket when the check was set on the table.
Once Rafe had caught his eyes on the cash in your hand he shook his head "you don't have to pay, what kind of guy would I be to make you pay for your food?" He says patting his pockets which makes you roll your eyes "it's fine" you reply flatly pressing the 20 and 10 dollar tip onto the wooden table and like second nature stood from the worn out booth walk to the class doors pushing them open and making a b-line to the boys nice and shining Pontiac.
Rafe grew up coddled, he was popular in high school, he had the cutest girl in his grade. Now he's digging it with girls who never made it past the first date because he never could find a bond with them, while working with his father and the geezers he partners with, losing all cool points he's earned on his way up in high school. Well on your end you didn't care for his past reputation, you didn't care for this date and the fact that you haven't had an ounce of fun since you had walked past your front porch was eating you up inside.
When you heard keys jangling in an instant you turned your head being met with Rafe walking over to the drivers side of the car. Unlocking the doors you both get in and once the car starts you fiddle with the radio never wanting to sit through silence and letting the hum of the radio come out softly through the speakers.
You were so caught up in your thoughts you had failed to realize how dark it had started to get, the once blue sky turned to deep orange and yellow hues. Watching as the power lines zipped past you in a blur, if you were going to sit in this car you would be damned if you had to sit in awkward silence and do nothing.
Just as Rafe had turned onto the highway the road seemingly empty as it got darker out and the headlights of his car lighting up the black asphalt on the road. Your view flickering between the road and Rafe who was watching the road with one hand on the wheel as the other slumped against the middle console.
The sight of his thighs sat stiffly while his jaw clenched. "Rafe, if you're not over your ex why'd you ask me on a date?" You ask curiously as you tilt your head leaning in a bit pressing the swell of your chest against his hand on the console. "What? I'm over my ex, I have been for a while now. What makes you say that?" He asks as he sputters over his own words at the thought of being hung up over his ex.
"You haven't asked a single thing about me on this date. You really only talked about you, and might I add you even talked about your dad which really doesn't help your case at all" you say flatly. "Seriously?! I am over my ex I swear" his voice goes up a few octaves higher as he tries to think of something that obscure the idea.
"When was the last time you slept with someone and actually enjoyed it then?" You ask with a twisted grin on your lips. You knew the answer but you wanted to hear it from him, you wanted the satisfaction of hearing the words yourself from his lips. "I don't know? And I'll have you know that I have had great sex without my ex" he snarked at you.
"Yeah your words aren't very convincing like... at all" you say as you push your legs under your thighs "I can change that you know? I don't know if by the end of it you'll even be thinking about her but...I'll occupy your head for a bit" you say, trailing your hand into his lap and rubbing against his thigh.
"What are you doing?" He scoffed as his eyes flicker from his lap with your hand trailing closer to his bulge earning a small gasp from him eliciting a small giggle from your lips loud enough to hear over the buzzing music. "Just keep looking at the road" you whisper as you press your lips to his warm cheek.
Your hand moving closer to his half hard crotch clad in jeans as you palm him, the feeling of fabric pressed against him has him groaning and running a hand through his dark hair in exasperation. "It's not really a good idea to be doing this... while I'm driving" he reasons, which makes you shake your head with a soft smile. "Then focus" you look up at him while your hands move to unzip his pants and unbutton them as well letting him lift his hips while you pull down his jeans far enough over his thighs.
"Shit" he harshly whispers at the feeling of your wet palm wrapping around his cock leaking precum and glistening under the orange and yellow street lights on the side of the road. Taking his cock into your fist, slowly jerking and teasing the tip with your thumb has the boy biting his plump lips while choking back a small groan.
The feeling of your warm tongue has the boy breathing heavily as his foot presses onto the gas harder spreading the car up. "Ease up, you want the car ride to last don't you?" You ask as you look up at him, your tongue pressing flatly against his tip and taking him deeper, letting your lips wrap around him.
The warmth of your mouth around him almost has his eyes rolling, letting his hand rest on the back of your head, needing to push your head down further but letting you slowly take him into the back of your throat as the tip of your nose brushes against his the happy trail on his lower stomach, stubble like hairs getting wet from how sloppy the blowjob you were giving him truly was. Strings of spit latching onto your lips and chin connecting down to his cock.
Pulling back slowly you began to bob your head, the wet sound of your mouth around his cock has him light headed as he drives slower than he normally would on the highway. Flexing his thighs as the feeling "You're so good at this- fuck y/n" he moaned as his jaw slacks at the feeling of your tongue running against the vein on the underside of his cock that had him nearly shivering.
"keep going. Don't stop" he groaned, letting his head fall back. His hair messily pushed against his forehead as it was soaked from the sweat building at his hairline and his eyes rolled back "you're gonna make me cum" he says breathily as he pushes your hair out of your way turning it into a makeshift ponytail.
Using your hand you hollow your cheeks as your hand takes care of what your mouth wasn't and it had him absolutely lost, still trying to focus on the road he makes a turn to the next exit and choosing to go the longer route to your house.
His breathing becomes more and more unhinged as you use both your hands to jerk him off and licking his tip has him moaning while almost swerving into a random mailbox catching himself before doing so. "I'm so close" he moaned as he clutched your hair tighter realizing how agonizing it felt when you hadn't changed your pace at all.
" faster" he demanded yet his voice filled with need, making you smile a bit as you moved your hands away from him completely and taking him into your mouth while he bucked his hips desperately for a release. you could, feeling the tip nudge the back of your throat while your nose was nestled tightly against his pubic bone. While your eyes are closed tight to focus on relaxing your gag reflex to not ruin the tight feeling for him you move faster hoping that would push him over the edge.
"Oh- fuck" he gasped as he gripped the wheel tighter as he felt his orgasm crash on him like a ton of bricks. "I can't...I can't keep driving or I'm gonna crash- fuck" he moaned as he pulls onto the side of the road and cutting the lights and engine. The only sounds that could be heard were Rafe's heavy breathing.
Watching as you pull back with glossy eyes as your cheeks and chin covered in spit and cum which has his head pulled back against the headrest completely dazed. "You okay?" You ask as you wipe off your face with small puffs of laughter falling past your lips. "I'm good...really good" he says with a faint smirk.
"I wanna make you feel good too" he says, his eyes trailing over to your fully clothed figure, your eyes low and red almost as if you had been high, lips puffy and swollen. "You can do that" you nod as you manage to crawl over the middle console and sit against his thighs, your skirt riding up your legs.
"You're so wet" he whispered as he felt the warm wet patch that had grown on your lacy panties, your own juices slick and glistening on your inner thighs and against his skin making you look down where you had been sitting with slight embarrassment. His finger rubs against your clothes slit watching as the wet patch on your panties becomes bigger. Pressing his thumb down on your clit had a moan falling past your lips; hips bucking in response as your hand trails to his wrist pulling his hand past the waist band on your panties.
"I need you, here." You mumbled as you felt his nimble fingers running against your slit making you whine desperately. Grinding against his fingers you can hear his laughing breathily as he watches you fall apart on top of him. "I'd call you desperate if I didn't want to fuck you so bad" he says as he presses his forehead against yours, watching the way you get off could make him cum untouched.
"Just shut up" you whined out with a small gasp pressing your lips against his hungrily your hand raking through his hair, your tongues lapping against the others and sucking on his pulling away with a small 'pop' you bite your lip as you keep eye contact with him. "Fuck this feels so good" you whisper your forehead still pressed against his as he rubs your clit in rough yet eager circles almost strategically.
"Yeah?" He asks as he pulls his hand away and out of your panties earning a small whine from you. His fingers pushing your panties to the side. "Why?" You practically cry out. Rafe's eyes never leave yours watching them gloss over from the loss of pleasure. "I want you to cum on cock" he says just above a whisper while he takes his length into his hand pumping himself a few times before pressing his tip against your entrance and with a harsh hiss he's slowly pushing inside your tight walls.
The warm and wet feeling has him drunk on the feeling of you around him. Pushing his seat back far enough that both of you are comfortable as Rafe watches you grind your hips against him slowly as he bottoms out inside you, the feeling being all too good for his liking.
"fuck- Rafe” you let a mewl that had been clawing at the back of your throat finally be released into the car as sounds of distant music, and heavy breathing fill the air. Bracing yourself for the strenuous movements you press your hands to his lower stomach, your nails just ghosting over his skin makes him shiver at the feeling. The soft thudding of your thighs meeting against yours sends goosebumps all over your skin. Rafe couldn't possibly keep his hands to himself as he finds the hem of your shirt and pulls it over your head.
"No bra?" He groaned watching as your bare chest bounced with every movement you made which has you smiling with your lip caught between your teeth. “Fuck you feel so good" you slur seeing how good he filled you up to the brim your arms wrap around his neck your foreheads pressed together as you watch his begin to slowly move. Rafe couldn't get enough of the sight as his cock disappeared inside your Pussy.
His cock buried deep inside you that you moan and dig crescent shaped dents into his skin. set a pace for bouncing in his lap. The feeling of your velvety walls tightening around making him choke back a moan. Rafe could feel the frothy white ring of your juices dripping down his cock making him groan.
"Oh- god" you whisper shakily. His hands holding onto your hips guiding a pace, the soft sound of skin slapping with your small moans reverberated through the car. You looked so good with your chest bouncing and your hair all messy. You looked good with a small sheen of sweat on your skin and your makeup smeared, he was becoming addicted to the sight.
He slowly thrusts into you letting you get used to his size not realizing you were beginning to bounce yourself on his lap desperate to feel pleasure. His pace practically teases you and shows you how desperate you really are from your small moans whimpers.
Rafe; eager to let his load off inside you, holds your thighs stopping you from bouncing any longer and begins to thrust his hips up into you. The feeling of his tip kissing the sensitive spot inside you makes your jaw slack, and your thighs quiver as you tried to force anything to come out past your lips to show Rafe how good he made you feel, but the way your nails dig into his skin and your body reacting to every punctuated thrust inside you proves that he didn't have to hear you to know that he way fucking you perfectly.
His hips pushing into you as your thighs and ass jiggle at the repetitive thrusts "oh my god!" You moan as you feel him pounding in a certain part of your walls. You tighten around him your hands grip him tighter as the air is knocked out of your lungs as you let out a sharp breath with a moan dying on your lips. “Fuck Rafe- fuck!” You stutter and moan gutturally as you arch into him.
"Just like that" you babble mindlessly as his stomach churns at the words spewing out. "Yeah? Want me to fill you up with my cum?" he groans as the knot in your stomach begins to tighten and Rafe's death grip on the fat of your thighs almost sends you over the edge if it wasn't for how hard he was pounding you.
he placed his hand on your ass, kneading the flesh harshly as whimpers left his lips at the feeling of your walls closing around him. "Just like that, yes, please please please!!" You beg, feeling yourself getting closer and closer as he becomes more rough with his thrusts. You pull his hair, again and again, harder and you can't help but become more aroused from the sounds he lets fall from his lips.
Sitting up completely Rafe doesn't hesitate to kiss against your warm skin, from the valley between your breast to sucking on your nipples, the warmth of his mouth has you utterly out of it while you fuck yourself on his cock begging for some sort of release. The sloppy wet sounds make your head spin, your hand trailing from his hair to between the both of you.
Rubbing your clit in hopes that this would send you closer to your orgasm. "Fuck- oh fuck" he moaned against your chest as you clench around him as he felt absolutely pussy drunk with you on top of him. Rafe could barely comprehend a thing as he stops you all together.
"Get up" he said breathlessly as you push yourself off of his lap, you slowly start to crawl back into the passenger seat thinking even the sex was a complete bust. But the feeling of his hands on your waist keeps you from moving. "Bend over into the seat" he says moving out of your way as you feel a smirk on your pretty lips.
With your back arched and your face pushed against the headrest you knew that you were done for, Rafe pushing inside you again and without a care in the world thrusts into you at the same pace he was going before.
"Harder- please" you moan out as the windows begin to fog over, Rafe begins to buck his hips into you at a faster pace as the slick sound of your pussy and precum mix loudly along with the patterning of your thighs slapping against his. You feel ecstasy at the way he made you feel so full.
His large hands onto your spine as making your chest push into the seat, not that you minded at all. Rafe from behind absolutely loses his mind as his fingers card through his dirty blonde locks. Fucking into you with harsh and sharp thrusts that have your toes curling. Your ass bouncing against him has him tossing his head back leaving a stinging sensation in both of your thighs.
you begin to bounce and grind against him to meet his hips. It felt like he was in your stomach and you didn't mind at all, your hands clutching the seat tighter as he used his hand to wrap around your throat pulling your back against his chest as the other cracked a harsh smack against your ass leaving behind a welt that you know would probably bloom into a bruise later down the line.
"Aw look at you, all fucked out. You like getting bent over and fucked like a slut in my car?" He asks as his grip around your throat tightens, you couldn't even gather your words as he hits a spot that has you breathing shakily and your moans are even more louder.
"Right here? Does it feel good here?" He asks as he drags his cock against that same spot again and again "yeah, it feels so fucking good" you moan as your eyes roll back. The feeling of his sweet lips on your skin as you feel like you're in heaven.
Your thighs are practically shaking at the feeling, pleasure practically taking over your body as Rafe pounds you into his front seat without a single care in the world. Pushing your face against the seat while he becomes sloppy and rougher with every passing second you could feel the pressure in the pit of your stomach growing and waiting to be released.
"I can't take it" you moan as you shake your head "I'm gonna cum" you whimper as you feel warm tears slide down your cheeks. "I think you can baby, you wanna cum so bad right? So take what I give you" he orders in a teasing tone as his eyes stay latching onto the sight of him stretching you out over his cock he lands repeated smacks to your ass that makes your body quiver. His thrusts are non stop and you can't help but let the pleasure envelope you.
"Oh fuck" you gasp as the feeling of release comes closer "cum for me. Look at me and cum” he groans while pulling your hips into his harder than before tipping you over the edge as your walls clench around him sporadically earning a guttural moan ripping through his throat.
"I'm close, where do you want it?" He asks as he continues to fuck into you "inside. Please cum inside me" you whimpered before you felt the pressure in your stomach let loose "you look so pretty under me like this" he praised as his fingers rubbed down your spine leaving goosebumps up and down your body.
A few more thrusts slow and deep have your toes curling and sending Rafe into an orgasm struck daze. "Fuck you feel so good" he groans as his hands rub against the red warm skin of your ass. Leaning over you and kissing up your spine as you both bask in your pre orgasm clarity.
"I see why so many girls like you Rafe" you say breathlessly with a smile making him chuckle as he runs a hand through his hair slowly pulling out of you with a hiss due to loss of warmth. "Well it's a pleasure to live up to your standards" he says as he reaches into his glove box and pulls out wipes cleaning you up.
The both of you getting dressed again and seated, Rafe starts the car and the both of you are back on the road with the faint sound of music filling the air as the both of you exchange small words every few minutes until Rafe turned on the road your house was located.
Pulling into your gravel driveway he parks and opens his door walking onto your side and opening it offering a hand which makes your brows shoot up at the sudden chivalry, taking his hand and shutting the door behind you he walks you to your fronts door and as you turn to look at him you see the small smile on his lips. "So...this was nice" he says as he looks down at his feet.
It wasn't.... Not until the both of you had sex in the front seat of his car at least. "Right... just- let me know when you get over Sofia" you pat his chest with an awkward grin on face as you watch his head fall back letting out a groan. "I told you. I'm over her- seriously we broke up and I haven't talked to her since" he shakes his head.
You could tell by the tone in his voice he wasn't, but Rafe was eager to see you again so it meant he was moving on. One step forward. "Let me know when you're ready for something serious Cameron."
You snap your fingers as you give yourself an idea, your hands find themselves under your skirt which had Rafe in a small shock at your actions seeing a flash of your pink panties as you pull them down your legs and balling it in your hand. "Until then have the panties as a keepsake to get off to whenever you like" you say stuffing the ball of wet fabric into his pockets. and with that you leave him at your front door with his hand in his pockets clutching your frilly panties.
Opening the door and shutting it behind you Rafe stands at your doorstep biting his lip turning on his heel and walking back to his car watching how the windows were still a bit foggy. Opening the driver side to the door and sitting down in his seat he sighs, dragging his finger across the glass in the shape of a U and to small dots in the shape of the tip of his index finger a smiley face left behind.
"I gotta get her on that second date" he huffed to himself as he pulled out of the driveway of your home.
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gluion · 2 days ago
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pretty please — jacob bae
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pairing — jacob bae x fem!reader genre — strangers to lovers, suggestive (minors dni) wc — 1.5k insipired by — bed chem by sabrina carpenter // pretty please by dua lipa misc/warnings — alcohol consumption, sexual tension, pet names (good girl), reader wears makeup, grinding in a public place... ehem..., dirty talk, making out, hickeys note — badcob... save me, badcob... gluion deobi writer renaissance for badcob and we have to thank @kimsohn for requesting :p thank u for letting me remember why i love writing for tbz, esp jacob <3
synopsis — you make every possible excuse in the book to explain your tinder match’s tardiness. yet, you find yourself meeting a man who screams of innocence—until you find yourself at his mercy.
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you think someone’s watching you.
at first, it came in the form of an itch you can’t reach until it morphed into a chill running down your spine. one look back, no one behind you. another look back, only a couple who wanted to grab a drink from the bartender.
you’d like to think it could be someone you were in the same organization with, maybe even someone you shared a class with, but you were far from the clubs that your university would infiltrate. you were somewhere entirely new, filled with employed folks, for a tinder match.
a first date in a bar isn’t one you would agree to, really, but you couldn’t deny the man with the cat eyes. after all, you still couldn’t believe he matched with you. the last thing you wanted is to shut the connection down.
but it’s been a good two hours since the agreed meet-up time, at least four glasses of margaritas in your system, and there was no sight of him. 
you should wait. what if he was dealing with some motorcycle issues? did his cat need to be brought to the clinic for an emergency? every excuse possible and you’ll accept it. 
a chill runs down your spine.
your eyes dart everywhere, hoping to spot your tinder match you’ve been waiting for—until they meet wide, brown ones.
across the bar stands a man dressed in a grey tank top with a black jacket over. surrounded by a group of boys who break into laughter, he pays no attention to their conversation. it’s only when he takes a sip from his drink that brings you to look away.
your skin grows hot; the only solution you have is to drink some more. 
you’ve downed your fifth glass of margarita for the night, and you still need more.
“bartender, give me one more.” at his nod, you’re ready to pull out a couple of bills, until a waft of lavender enters your nose. a glass is set down beside you.
“i’ll pay.”
you look up to see the same man from across the bar. up close, you can trace his features; soft jawline, soft skin, soft lips. he takes a seat beside you before asking, “care if i stay with you?”
it’s not that you find him unattractive. he just doesn’t fall under your usual types; those who had a sharp gaze with the goal of ruining you seemed to be the ones you gravitated towards.
everything about him screams an innocent man—and your tinder date is far from that.
“uh,” you clear your throat, “i have a date.”
his eyebrows scrunch together. “really? where are they? because i’ve seen you with no one the whole night.”
“well, he’s late, i think,” you whisper the last phrase.
you expect the stranger to laugh at you. it wouldn’t be the first time a man bothered you at a club. yet, he smiles. “then, can i keep you company? maybe wait for him with you?”
although you would grow annoyed at this type of persistence, you find yourself enjoying his presence. “don’t you think he’d see you and think that i ditched him?”
your order for another martini is placed in front of you.
“if he were a real man, he’d come up and let me know,” he says as he slides a couple of bills to the bartender. “besides, a real man wouldn’t leave you waiting.”
you muster out a bitter laugh before taking a sip of your drink. “okay, and what does that make you?”
his eyes flicker to the lipstick stain. “why don’t you find out yourself?”
seconds go by.
“well, do you have a name?”
he smiles. “jacob.”
“y/n.”
jacob hums as he leans on the bar. “so, who is this date?”
“just someone i matched with on tinder.”
“first date?” at your hum, jacob chuckles in disbelief. “you decided on the place?”
you roll your eyes. “have some faith in me.”
jacob shakes his head. “well, y/n, i don’t know enough about you.” he swishes the contents in his cup. before the rim can meet his lips, he says, “but that can change tonight.”
you’re not sure if the alcohol is taking a toll on you or the packed crowd raising the temperatures; your skin grows hot and jacob might be to blame. 
“so, i’m guessing he’s the one that chose the place.”
you nod at his assumption. as he grips his glass, arms resting on the bartop, your eyes trace the details; well-defined forearms and slender fingers.
despite talking about your tinder match, your mind drifts away from him. instead, it’s filled with images of the stranger beside you; arms strong enough to hold you up against the wall, hands that could leave bruises all over your hips, fingers that know how to ruin you until you’re on the verge of tears. you’re entranced by the sight of his fingers drumming against the table. every tap causes the pool in between your legs to grow.
his biceps tense up, and your breath hitches.  
“i would’ve never imagined a club for a first date.” when you meet his gaze, you spot a smirk plastered on his face, like he caught you in the act.
maybe jacob isn’t like the image you made him up to be.
“trust me, i wouldn’t have also.” your finger traces the rim of your glass, collecting some salt. 
he nods along with the beat of the music. “then what made you say yes?”
a beat passes.
“i’ve got needs,” you admit before popping your salt-covered digit into your mouth.  
he tongues the inside of his cheek, and you wonder how well he could eat you out; all the highs you could achieve all thanks to the licks against your clit. “really?” as he leans forward, your senses grow hazy over the scent of lavender, over the alcohol consumed, over the intoxicating presence of jacob. he stares right at you before taking a glance at your lips. “i wonder if he can really fulfill those needs.”
a bit of corruption swirls in jacob.
once you pop out your finger, you down the rest of your cocktail, staring right back at jacob who follows you. with drinks finished, you get off your seat and grab hold of his arm.
you drag him through the dance floor until your back hits a wall. you and jacob were not far from the sweaty crowd, still surrounded by those who are far too drunk to care about you two. yet, your hands reach out to his hoodie, and his hands plant against the wall.
a mix of red and orange strobes cast over your figures. even under the lack of white light, you take in jacob’s features. most of it still speak of gentleness, but his eyes scream otherwise—the type of look that makes you want to submit to his mercy.
“thought you were going to take me dancing,” jacob remarks. his hands trail down your face until it rests on the side of your neck. “maybe make your date jealous if he saw me with you.”
“you think you could do that, huh? think you could make the guy i was going to hook up with jealous of you?”
it’s a genuine question for the stranger you can’t stop thinking about. is jacob the definition of innocence?
he smirks before leaning closer. his breath grazes against your lips. “i think he should be jealous.”
your lips crash against his, hands bringing his body close to yours. his palms find their spot on your waist, reaching under your shirt and relishing in your warmth. your noses bump against each other in desperation.
the alcohol tells you that you need him closer, so your hands tug on his clothes. once his hips are flushed against yours, you grind on his cock, feeling it grow harder with every rock. the pool in between your legs grows; a wet patch on your panties. his hands find their spot on your ass, guiding every roll of your hips against his dick.
your senses are floating from the lack of oxygen. as you pull away from the kiss, you and jacob try to catch your breaths. but both your hips don’t stop from its ministrations. all you needed is any pressure on your clit.
“need you. now.”
he chuckles before letting his lips trail down your neck. he sucks on your skin, tongue darting out to leave marks all over you. your eyes shut close as you grow dizzy.
“want me to take you right here? surrounded by people?” as you let out a moan of desperation, jacob’s fingers dig into your skin. “what about your date?”
“i don’t care about him. i haven’t since you came.”
he lets out a hum in contentment of your revelation. “such a good girl for me.”
the pet name causes you to whine. as your grinding starts to go at an inconsistent rhythm, jacob doesn’t guide your hips anymore. your eyes open, hands gripping against his clothes.
“not here.” before you can beg him otherwise, he says, “can’t have others looking at you. you’re mine for the night.”
jacob is far from an innocent man—that’s all you need.
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networks tag list: @kflixnet @k-labels @deoboyznet @kstrucknet
tbz permanent tag list: @winterchimez @mosviqu @stealanity (the only ones i was sure of who weren't minors)
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zigrethsnotebook · 16 hours ago
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HBU a Bill Cipher x reader about a reader who really likes being possessed by Bill Cipher so frequently is possessed by him
Inside you
Bill x Reader
words: 1,381
tags: sfw, whatever Bill has going on
a/n: didn’t know if you wanted this to be cute or not, might make a nsfw version one day if i feel like it
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You were Ford's assistant, working with him and Fiddleford on the interdimensional portal. Even after the incident occurred and Fiddleford left the project, you and Ford pressed on.
Although, you weren't really in it for the portal or the science or whatever. You were way more interested in this muse of his. Bill Cipher. A triangle shaped entity, who had the ability to enter someone's mind if they agreed to it. Who could also haunt your dreams if you didn’t.
He didn’t have to haunt your dreams though, he was already a part of them. Even though seeing Ford with yellow eyes and no self-preservation instincts was a little scary, you couldn't help but imagine how nice it must feel to have Bill in your mind.
Just for once you wanted to lean back and let someone else do the work for you. The work being moving your body from room to room and so on.
One day, when he was in control of Ford's body, you breached the subject to him. "Ford doesn't like you running around in his body, you know that, right?" Bill just laughed in a garbled version of Ford's voice.
"Of course I know! That's part of the fun." You hummed. "But wouldn't it be more fun to actually share a body? With someone who won't resist? And if it's tormenting Ford you're after, think of what it would do to him to see someone else under your control."
Bill narrowed Ford's eyes at you, stepping closer. He was intrigued. "What are you suggesting?" You smirked at him. "A deal. You get to take my body for a spin... whenever. The only condition is that I don't want you to break my bones or leave me with an open wound or something."
He turned Ford's head, suspicion on their face. "And what exactly are you getting out of this?" You smiled and sighed dramatically. "To relax! I get to take some time off from having to work this meat prison." Bill laughed loudly.
"You're either crazy or the sanest human I've ever met. Either way, you got yourself a deal." Bill held Ford's hand out to you, a small blue flame surrounding it. You gladly took it and suddenly felt like you were falling, even though you didn’t move from your spot on the ground at all.
You were still holding Ford's hand as he sank in on himself, raising his other hand to his head. Meanwhile, you felt something change. A new presence in your own mind. "Let's see if I can make you regret this."
Ford's eyes raised up to your hands and then up to your face, terror spreading on his face. "Bill. What have you-" You interrupted him. "He hasn't done anything yet. So don't worry about it. Let's get back to work."
Ford eyed you suspiciously. It was your voice, your eyes weren't yellow... there was no sign of Bill being in control of your body. But he was gone from his own mind and that unsettled Ford greatly.
While Ford and you continued to work away at the portal, Bill was making himself comfortable in your mind, snooping around your memories and getting a picture of who you are as a person.
When he came across the section of your mind that held your dreams and he found himself in there, making you laugh or holding your hand gently... well, if he was human then he surely would have blushed at that. But he wasn't. And he certainly didn’t care about human emotions. Gross.
Eventually, you and Ford decided that you were done for the day (it was long past midnight) and started to pack up. Bill pulled you from the steering wheel, taking over your body. "Sixer." Ford looked up at him in horror.
"So you are inside them!" Bill waved him off. "Yeahyeahyeah, big surprise. Whatever. Where did you find this person? Their mind is... so clean and orderly. But their dreams..." His/Your voice trailed off, not actually wanting to tell Ford about your dreams. "We went to university together. Same as with Fiddleford." Bill nodded absentmindedly.
While Bill was hanging out with Ford, you laid back, enjoying your break. You quickly tuned their conversation out and instead took a stroll through your mind. It was a funny way of perceiving your own thoughts. Basically being able to walk in on them like they were little rooms scattered around your mind.
You got lost in your own mind but eventually were pulled back into reality as Bill took a step back. You found yourself in your bed, in your pyjamas. You didn’t even feel hungry.
The only thing that was a little off was the dull pain in your shoulder and knee. It felt like you had fallen down a flight of stairs. Bill had probably decided it was faster than to walk them. You ignored the pain and went to sleep.
The following days were much of the same: Working on the portal with Ford, occasionally letting Bill take charge to correct Ford on some equations or whatever. On your way out of the lab Bill would usually take over, taking your body for a spin.
Usually, you watched him do it, just see what he was up to. You saw him fling your body off of whatever ledge he could find that wouldn't harm your body too seriously. The deal you made clearly stated that he wasn't allowed to break your bones.
But it didn’t forbid him to get you a tattoo. It was simple enough. A heart with an arrow through it that just read "Bill", effectively claiming you as his. You didn’t mind though. Something about this triangle made you want his attention.
The fact that he went out of his way to brand you as his made you feel kind of special. Who else could say that about themselves? Well, Ford could, but you didn’t know that and Ford had no intention of telling you about it.
After a couple weeks of this, Bill got a little irritated with you. Inside your head, he sparked up a conversation. "Why doesn't this bother you? I actively harm you, your relationship with Ford and everyone around you. I branded you. What more will it take to get you upset?"
You laughed at him. "Shouldn’t you know? I thought you could read minds - what's stopping you?" Bill frowned, throwing his hands up in defeat. "Nothing! I looked! As far as I can tell you have never thought one single bad thing about me. That's nuts!"
You waved at him dismissively. "It's not. If you truly knew what it was like to be human you'd get it." Bill shook his head and floated closer to you, locking eyes. "Nuh-uh. Ford doesn't get it either. He's human, too!" You clicked your tongue. "Yeah, but he's also a giant baby."
Bill stared at you, not believing what he's hearing. He sighed and rubbed his eyebrow. Or his equivalent to an eyebrow anyway.
"There is something interesting I did find in your mind though." You just raised an eyebrow at him. "Why are you dreaming about you and me doing... coupley things together? From what Ford explained to me about human relationships, that's just gross."
You blushed at being called out like that but stood your ground. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it." A beat of silence passed. Then Bill floated closer to you, his stare intense. "Kiss me then." You stared at him, shock written all over your face.
The problem was, you hadn't quite figured that part out yet. What, with him having no mouth and all. However, as he said that, something happened. Without your doing, a few doors to different thoughts flew open and things that looked like pieces of film tape floated out of them, surrounding you both.
They showed different ways you had fantasized about kissing that stupid triangle. As you realized what you saw you blushed even more, hiding your face in your hands.
Bill looked around you both and then back to you. Now this was something. This was amusing. Finally, he had found something to torment you with. Your own attraction to the triangle. Now the fun could begin.
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matthew-gray-gubler-lover · 2 days ago
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Baby it's cold outside
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Fluff.
An unplanned pregnancy. Reader not being too sure if Spencer's going to be happy about being a dad. Spencer being absolutely overjoyed about being a dad.
You want to wait until Christmas to tell Spencer that you're pregnant with his baby but after a day out in the snow, you can't wait any longer.
(Four years ago)
Your life was Forever changed Accident that Happened one day In a coffee shop It was a snowy And Windy day out and you needed a cup of coffee really bad. You ordered your usual cup of coffee and took out your gift card to pay. Only to have the barista tell you that you didn't have enough left on your card.
" You need another $1.29" The barista tells you, As she stands behind the counter chomping on gum looking at you judgingly.
" Oh, OK, I thought that I had enough left on here. OK, let me see if I have another $1.29" You say, opening up your purse and quickly looking through it. Some of the items in your purse ending up being tossed on the coffee Shop counter.
The barista Rolling her eyes at you, As she continues Chewing on her gum loudly. The long line behind you starting to grumble.
And that's when you Felt a tap on your shoulder. you were Sure that it was an angry customer behind you getting ready to yell at you for not having enough money in your purse.
You turn around and see a man with brown hair Wearing a Purple sweater and a crossbody bag.
" Let me help you. I have the money for it. It's OK. I'll cover your coffee today" The man smiles warmly at you.
" Oh my gosh, thank you so much" You say with the relief that it wasn't someone getting ready to yell at you, but also you had a little bit of guilt given that this man had to pay for your coffee.
" Don't worry about it, these kinds of things happen" He tells you, handing a $5.00 bill to the woman behind the counter. Who suddenly doesn't look so angry.
You stand there Looking at the man You find him very cute.
" OK, here you go, enjoy your coffee" The man tells you, smiling, and then turns around to order his own coffee.
You sat down at a table after adding your cream and sugar to your coffee. And waited for the man who paid for your coffee to walk by so you could thank him properly.
After you saw him add an alarming amount of sugar to his coffee He come walking by your table.
You stood up and thanked him.
" I wanted to thank you for paying for my coffee, that was really sweet of you"
" Oh, you're welcome. I couldn't just let you stand there and try to find the money to pay for your coffee Everybody makes mistakes. You didn't know that. You didn't have enough coffee bucks left" he said with a smile.
" Well, I would have had enough left, but it was a birthday present And I bought myself a Danish to go with my coffee on my birthday and went home and put a candle in it and pretended that it was my birthday cake" You told him, not really sure why you felt so comfortable talking to him.
" Oh, that's really sweet" He responded.
" Would you like to sit down?" You asked the man
He looked at his watch and said "sure, I can sit down. I I have some time before I have to be to work" He pulled out the chair and sat down.
" I should probably tell you my name since you paid for my coffee so hi i'm Y/N"
" Oh, hello, I'm Spencer Reid"
" Thank you Spencer Reid for saving my day. It's really cold and the heat in my apartment doesn't work too well, so I came out in this horrible weather to get a hot coffee"
"Only to find out That you have ran out of money on your card, that's just sad"
"It is, but that's pretty much my life So umm, what do you do?" You can't believe that you're even asking this question But there's just something about Spencer Reid that makes you feel comfortable
" Well, I work for the FBI of the BAU actually Behavioral Analysis Unit, we pretty much hunt down the bad guys" He tells you before taking a sip of coffee like it's no big deal.
You were so intrigued by Spencer. The two of you ended up meeting at this coffee shop every chance you could. You found yourself being sad every time he wasn't there, knowing that he was away on a case.
After two months, these Meeting at the coffee shop mornings Led to more It led to a movie date. It led to him showing you his apartment. It led to his teammates noticing There was something different about him.
Until one day, Spencer Reid asked you to be his wife. The two of you were married on Valentine's Day, the day of love, the perfect day for the two of you.
(Present day)
Spencer finally has two weeks off, And it could not have come at a better time. Given it is Only a week until Christmas, so that means one week before Christmas and one week after Christmas that way the two of you can spend together. Even though you have been married for three years already It's still something so special to share with Spencer.
Both of you are so excited and have lists of things that you want to do together Spencer didn't really have Christmases growing up, So it was something that was so wonderful for him, spending time with you, decorating the Christmas tree Putting lights around the house and building snowmen.
Over the past week, the two of you baked cookies together, watched Christmas movie's, Drank Hot chocolate. And stood at the window of your apartment, watching the snow fall.
Not to mention the Christmas pajamas That the two of you have been wearing. Matching Christmas pajamas, something that Spencer never thought that he would wear before he met you.
Pajamas that had Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Frosty the Snowman. The Grinch. As well as sets that had gingerbread cookies, regular snowmen And Santa Claus.
You enjoyed snacking on candy canes together. And eating other holiday snacks.
Spencer did notice you getting a little bit tired lately, and you have said a few times this week that you weren't feeling well for a little bit in the morning, Spencer just thought that it was all of the excitement that the two of you have been having together, all of the happiness and joy of the season.
Today you and Spencer are going ice skating. Of course Spencer is a pro at it even though it's his first time ice skating.
You, however, not so much.
The building of snowmen. Snowball fights All of that you could do, but ice skating you just couldn't quite get it, but you wanted to try.
Spencer held on to you as you tried skating. After he laced up your ice skates, the pink ice skates the Penelope gave to you for Christmas last year after you had told her that you would love to have gone ice skating with Spencer.
" You're doing great, honey" Spencer tells you lovingly.
" Really. Because I feel like I'm doing a horrible job of it. The only reason I'm not landing on my butt is because you're holding me" you tell him with a loud chuckle.
" And I'm going to keep holding on to you because I don't want you being all bruised up and in pain for Christmas" he tells you before kissing you on the cheek. as he still holding on to you.
" After at least Half hour of this, you decide that you want to be self-sufficient and you are going to skate on your own, even though, truth be told, you wouldn't mind if Spencer stayed holding you like this, skating around the ice rink for the rest of the day,
" OK, I'm going to go for it" You tell him with a thumbs up.
" Are you sure? I don't mind still holding on to you" Spencer tells you is he reluctantly lets you go.
" Yeah, I can do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a big girl. I'm going to be a brave girl and I'm going to skate all on my own" You say with confidence.
Spencer can't help but laugh at this, the fact that his Wife is saying that she wants to be a big girl.
" OK, go for it my Beautiful Wife" He Tells You taking both hands off of you now.
You barely make it anywhere at all before you fall down and land sack on the ice
" Oh no!!" you yell out.
Spencer comes Skating back over to your side and picks you up.
" Are you OK, honey?" He asks, picking you up with ease off of the ice. Standing you securely back up on your pink ice skates as you lean against him.
Tears start filling up your eyes as you remember hitting the ice. It's not really so much about the pain that you're feeling, it's about the little one that is growing inside of you. As much as it hurt landing on that ice Your main concern was that you did not damage yours And Spencer's baby.
"Y/N You OK, honey? Please answer me, you're crying. Are you OK?" Spencer asked, his voice filled with worry.
You could hear Spencer but couldn't quite make out what he was saying. It wasn't until he started brushing his fingertips along your cheek that you come back to reality.
"Y/N Please answer me, are you OK? Did you hit your head?"
Finally hear what he is saying and look up at him and answer.
" Yeah, Yeah I just landed on the ice really hard" You told him as you panted.
" This is Exactly what I said. I didn't want to happen. You know, statistically people get hurt more just walking down the street Then they do ice skating. But I didn't want you to get hurt. I'm so sorry, honey. I shouldn't have let go" He tells you. His voice filled with guilt, As he runs his hands up and down your arms, trying to make sure that you are warm.
" No Spence, It's my fault. You told me that you didn't want to let go of me. I knew that I'm not a good skater and I shouldn't have let you let go of me" You tell him.
" I know that you're not a good skater, which is exactly why I shouldn't have let you go"
You put your left hand on Spencer's face and hold it there. Your hand is beyond freezing Especially the medal from your wedding ring and you really should have worn mittens, but Spencer doesn't even mind.
" Please don't blame yourself, it's all on me. It was my idea to even come out here and I skate. I think we should just go home now" You tell him.
" I do too. We'll go home and we'll drink some hot chocolate. I'll get you some ice if you're in pain. Maybe some ibuprofen, We can watch Movies in our Christmas pajamas, just you and me in our own little Christmas paradise" Spencer tells you as he glides you to the edge of the rink and walks you to the bench before he removes your ice skates.
You can't help but smile, looking down at him is he unties the skates that he had put on you just a little bit ago.
The two of you home and you Walk into the door together, Spencer telling you Did you should go upstairs and take a shower to warm up.
You shake your Head yes and give a audible yes.
As you do, Spencer gets the water ready and the packets of hot Chocolate so that they will be ready by the time you come out of the shower.
The shower does help warm you up, When you get out and dry off, you put on your black pajamas with candy canes That are all over them, Spencer set them out for you so you know that he's going to be wearing his matching pair.
You open the bathroom door and walk into your bedroom, where you see Spencer already laying in bed beneath the cushy Christmas Comforter.
" Hi honey, are you feeling better now?" Spencer asks, leaning up a little bit so that he can reach out for your hand.
" Yeah, I feel a little better, And you sure look comfy"
" I am very comfortable here with our Christmas sheets and our Christmas comforter hot chocolate And a Christmas movie awaiting for us to watch" You pointing out all of the things that are in the bedroom.
When you get closer to the bed, he puts his hand out for you and helps pull you into the cozy, warm bed Before putting an arm around you and cuddling you close.
" Are you sure you're OK? Are you in pain?" He asks you Genuinely concerned.
" No, I'm not really in pain right now. I'm sure I will be tomorrow, but that's OK. I have something that I want, will actually. I do want to tell you, but I need to tell you"
"ok" He says, his voice laced with concern, not really knowing what you're going to tell him. Are you breaking up with him? Do you want a divorce?"
" It's nothing bad, it's just something that I need to tell you"
Spencer lets out a sigh of relief.
" OK, what is it, honey?"
" Well, why I was so upset that I fell on the ice wasn't because it hurt. And I mean, it did hurt. Don't get me wrong, it hurt a lot, but it's because" you Stopped talking, looking down at Spencer's hand on yours.
" it's because?" He repeats the last two words that you said.
You take a deep breath for two reasons. One, because you really wanted to tell him on Christmas morning, and two, you're still not really sure how happy he's going to be about it.
" It's Because I'm pregnant" You told him, looking into his eyes to see if he was happy.
" You're pregnant?, You're really pregnant?, We're having a baby?, we made a baby?, I'm going to be a dad?" Spencer asked all these questions, his voice so happy.
" Yes, you're going to be a dad, I wanted to wait to tell you on Christmas morning, but since you were so upset about me falling on the ice and you thought that I was upset with you because of it, I was just upset because I thought that I might have hurt our baby" You explained quickly.
"I can't believe I'm going to be a dad" Spencer says so happily Before putting his hand on your stomach. " But how did it happen? We're so careful"
" Well, we're not always careful. Remember the week before Halloween? We went to the pumpkin patch and then we carved the pumpkin and you kissed me and one thing led to another. We weren't careful that night" You remind him.
" Oh yeah, I remember that night, So then you Didn't mean for this to happen?" Spencer asked. You almost a little sad now.
" I didn't plan for it to happen, but I'm glad that it did" You tell him.
" So am I, I'm so glad" He told you Before lifting up your shirt a little bit and kissing your stomach.
" Hi baby, I can't wait to meet you This is your daddy, by the way I'm so looking forward to meeting you" He looks up at you and holds your hand. Just think, this time next year we'll have a baby. We'll have to get matching pajamas for the baby too"
You're so happy that Spencer is so happy about this.
" Yes, we will, I'm so glad that you're happy, Spencer. I wasn't sure how you were going to take it"
" You thought I wasn't going to be happy. Why?"
" Well, I was just thinking about how, you know, you're going to come home from a long hard case and you're going to be tired and just want to go to sleep and you're not going to want to have to deal with a crying baby. And then when it gets older, it's going to be Throwing itself on you when you come home and saying daddy, daddy, I missed you" You tell him all of the things that you thought about.
" I'm not going to mind at all and I'm not going to be doing cases anymore. Now that we're having a baby, I'm going to quit my job at the BAU and I'm going to teach full time then. That's what Blake did. She left the BAU to teach full time. That would be a safer job for me and then I can come home every day to you and our baby"
" Spencer, you love working at the BAU. You're the hero. You're the good Guy that gets the bad guys, I don't want to take that from you"
" Yes, I am the hero and I do love being the hero and I will continue to be one. I'm going to be a hero to my family. I will be teaching other people how to be the heroes"
" Are you sure, Spencer?"
" Oh, absolutely. Then I can come home every day to you. I want to be a part of every part of the pregnancy and every part after it. I want to be there for every doctor's appointment, when we find out if we're having a boy or a girl, Through the morning sickness and the cravings, I want to be there when our baby is born, holding your hand, cheering you on. I want to see our baby when it's first born, I want to be there for my baby. I want to be there for the baby's first kitchen sink bath, Their first bath in the real tub, The diaper changes, the bottles, their first bite of real food, Their first day of school. The first time they fall in love, I even want to be there for the bad stuff when they're sick, when they have an earache, even when they have their first heartbreak. I want to be there for all of it, I don't want to be a dad like mine was. I will never, ever leave you Or our baby, Not ever" Spencer reassures you as he still has his hand on your stomach.
" Daddy's going to be here for you through every step of the way, You know, I believe that they can hear stuff in there. That's why I told JJ when she was pregnant with Henry to put earphones on her stomach, so he didn't have to hear all of that bad stuff. and so I'm going to read to our baby every day" Spencer gasps "A Christmas Carol. I own the book A Christmas Carol. I'm going to read it to the baby"
"OK" you say with a laugh.
" And not to brag, but I also know how to deliver a baby. I mean, I studied The instruction manual When JJ was pregnant, just in case I had to Deliver Henry if JJ was out in the field. That never happened, but I didn't actually deliver a baby when we were on a case and that boy was it something The Unsub was standing right over me As I was delivering the baby and then the mother actually named the baby after me" He said with a big smile, so proud of what he had done.
" Oh yeah, I remember that. Wasn't that the same day that you took me to the closing of Rossi's favorite bar and we all sang karaoke together? Well, just about everyone did. As I remember, Blake and Hotch didn't join us on the stage"
" That's right, that was the day"
" Well, hopefully there won't be an issue like that when I go into labor, but I still want you to be there"
" And I will be, I promise I will be. I'm going to go into the station first thing in the morning and tell them that I'm not going to be an agent anymore. I'm going to be a teacher"
 Spencer took you to the station with him so that we could tell everybody about the baby.
Morgan came over and of course he had a comment.
" So pretty boy and pretty girl got together and made a pretty baby. I'm happy for you Reid, I really am" he told him as he hugged Spencer.
Everyone congratulated both of you and said that they were going to miss Spencer, but they know that they will still be a part of your life's as well as your future child.
The next few months went buying a flash. you started getting items for the baby not knowing If you were, having a boy or a girl made it a little bit difficult, so you just bought some neutral colors for things until we found out.
Then the day came that you could find out if it was a boy or a girl. Matthew and you were so excited. He held your hand as the doctor moved the little ball around your stomach from the ultrasound machine.
Then we heard the words " You're having a baby girl"
they couldn't be happier. they left the doctor's office and went to the store buying everything that we could for our little girl. We are now going to make the nursery Disney Princess.
Before they knew it, the big day had arrived.
Spencer was there from start to finish, just like he said he would be, holding your hand, cheering you on, and when the nurse handed him his baby girl, he couldn't be happier.
The next Christmas was even more special now that you are a family.
all of you Wearing your matching Christmas pajamas. Red pajamas with Santa Claus on them.
Life had never been more magical for Spencer Reid. He has more than he ever thought that he would ever have.
The love of his life and now a little girl He loves more than he ever thought possible.
"You know what, Spencer? I think running out of money on my gift card was the best thing that ever happened to me" You tell Spencer, looking over at him as he holds your daughter.
" Really. Why is that?" 
" Because that's How I Met you, I think running out of money on my gift card was the best gift I was ever given"
Spencer can't help but agree with you, If it hadn't been for your card running out of money He never would have talked to you, and you wouldn't be sitting here right now in your cozy little home on Christmas morning with your own little family.
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noodles-and-tea · 2 months ago
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Little Stan getting manipulated by Bill has excellent angst potential but consider.
Stanley just, keeps tricking Bill. Because Bill would definitely massively underestimate Stanley and how far he’ll go to protect Ford (like in the actual show). We also know Stanley has the street smarts between the twins and could absolutely tell Bill is full of it.
And because Bill would absolutely loose his mind if he kept getting foiled by a snot nosed eight year old that isn’t even supposed to be here
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I like to think that he doesn’t even try that hard he just does not even care about bill
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eagleeyethree · 2 months ago
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Bill your reign is OVER
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dashamanych · 1 month ago
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Hey i am glad yall remember that Will, Wood and the Tapeworms show! Thank you for sharing your memories đŸ„ŽđŸ“șđŸ“Œ I remember more about it now....
Ill keep researching just in case ill find something more about this cartoon!
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anotherdayforchaosfay · 1 year ago
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When I wake up tomorrow morning, I want an email and notification I sold Of Bugs and Birdsong and one quilt commission slot. Just one of those will cover the cost of a new mattress. If I achieve both, I can pay of Jasper's (RIP) Care Credit vet bill ($1238 and collecting interest).
We also have three medical bills from Bubby's emergency surgery in February. Three others were forgiven, but we still have $4614 with what's left.
If I sell all three quilt commission slots, Of Bugs and Birdsong, and all the other quilts in my shop, at asking price, I'll be able to cover the mattress, the vet bill, and two of the three medical bills.
It's gonna take some serious help though. Namely folks buying my work. I have plenty available, and will be back in my sewinh room making more on Wednesday.
Pics below the read more.
Of Bugs and Birdsong:
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Quilts on the commission page:
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Some listings in my shop:
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princessmyriad · 23 days ago
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 11 months ago
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Another day of getting paid to eat fries and read my little gay books
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eccentriccryptid · 6 months ago
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#just need to bitch about my new job for a minute#first of all - so lucky and happy to have a job i will say that#been unemployed for two months and i need something to pay the bills#but...the fucking 'no one wants to work' of it all is such bullshit#so this new company starts you at $13/hr#not great but considering i live in rural america it's way worse around here#they're remote but their definition of remote is that you can only work from your house no where else#you get two days off per week but it's not two days back to back#if you're full time you get extra holiday pay but there are no holidays off#if you're part time fuck you you just have to work#full time employees get 10 vacation days and 6 sick days#part time you just get so many unpaid hours off#like...i'm working part time because i'm hoping to get actual work in my field#but you're telling me if i was full time i'd get /16 days/ of paid time off per year?#but also i'm not allowed to go anywhere else while i work??#like i have family just out of state that i could pop over and see on a long weekend or even a short one#but i don't even have two days back to back so i just can't go see them without taking time off#and like...probably i can just use a vpn and it won't be a big deal#and i'm hoping this is a super temporary thing and i can actually use my degree#but like /fucking hell/ of course no one wants to work in conditions like this!#i know it's work from home and there are some perks to that but not enough to make up for everything else#also not them telling me during my interview that after training you don't have to be on camera#but during out first day today being told we have to 'earn the privilege'#bitch please it's fucking chat support#i am just so tired of employers thinking that it's a privilege for us to work for them#it's a privilege for you to have me honestly#oh and also if you run out of days off you don't get unpaid time off#they just start giving you strikes#like our trainer is really nice and great but also she's trying to sell this 10 days off as some kind of amazing thing#in the us that's /fine/ if you also get the holidays off!
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coridallasmultipass · 3 months ago
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I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!
It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.
Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)
Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-
#i think the one i just used didnt even have a separate billing address option which makes no sense#guess they dont want anyone giving any gifts making the buyer pay twice for shipping like that#maybe it was a fault of the mobile browser but i highly doubt it since many desktop sites look like mobile browsers these days#just so fucking frustrating. what if i lived somewhere where my legal name would out me? (im in the closet rn so doesnt matter)#i dont want to fucking see my legal name. im already forced to see it everywhere else.#i dont wanna ruin my mood on a day when im supposed to be getting a package which should be a happy thing yknow#vent#transphobia#speaking of like i would change my name but i dont want to and cant afford the fucking ridiculous price for it#and i dont wanna advertise it in a newspaper either! shits expensive as fuck on top of the hundreds to file the court paperwork!#i already tried to do it once with money in hand and the receptionist told me that even tho it was for gender identity i could not...#...avoid the newspaper thing unless i also changed my legal gender marker. and i had to back out bc i have reproductive health problems#i dont want a gender marker change to fuck with my getting healthcare#(i did change the gender letter on my ID card later tho which only took a signature on a paper no hassle with anything)#it really really fucking sucks how all these little things add up all the time#especially when im closeted while living w family who wont even use my preferred name#the real kicker is that. both my dad and his dad used preferred names. my dad used his middle name#and i use part of my middle name. yet my dad even in death still gets the dignity of being called his preferred name and i dont#sexism at its finest#reasons why i dont even hint at being trans around my moms side bc i already got bullied by them for wanting to use my middle name#ive literally been asking them to call me my mid name since i was 12. and theyve been acting like im trying to be someone else#its the same middle name on my birth certificate they gave me. i dont understand why they wouldnt want me to use it#but yeah i stay closeted bc i dont wanna deal with the name drama amplified exponentially for gender#prob get kicked out too cuz theyre queerphobic as fuck and i cant work rn and dont have a car#id have to just go full feral and live in the woods with the lizards where i belong#Cori.exe#Post.exe#fuck lol just looked it up and u cant change ur first name if u get married. i cant avoid the fucking fee man. let me be cori#literally why is it cheaper to get married than change ur first name! bullshit! marriage has so much more legal implications#transphobic queerphobic aromanticphobic privacyphobic poorphobic shit ass fucking state ive literally been cori most of my life ffs cmon
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trans-xianxian · 1 year ago
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cinemacrypt · 5 months ago
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So so so fucking angry tonight
#mars says stuff#EVERYTHING IN MY PERSONAL LIFE IS LEGIT FINE I PROMMY#IM JUST SO SICK OF THE ZIONIST MISINFORMATION AND MILQUETOAST APATHETIC DEMOCRAT BULLSHIT THAT#I FEEL COMPLICIT IN BC I WORK FOR A RADIO STATION AND I HAVE TO PUMP OUT NEWS PROMOS#AND ITS THE ONLY JOB I HAVENT BEEN FIRED FROM#AND IM SO FUCKING SICK OF THE RAMPANT TRANSPHOBIA AND ESPECIALLY TRANSMISOGYNY#EVERYWHERE I FUCKING GO AND TO HAVE OTHER TMASC PPL BE LIKE 'LMAO THATS NOT REAL AND IF IT IS ITS NOT THAT BAD THESE CRAZY BITCHES'#WHEN I SEE IT ONLINE AND IN PERSON EVERY FUCKING DAY AND IM NOT EVEN THE ONE IT EFFECTS#AND I TRY TO ENGAGE IN MY COMMUNITY. THERES A JUNETTENTH EVENT IM GOING TO TMR TO TRY AND SCOUT OUT SOME LOCAL ORGS#I CAN VOLUNTEER FOR TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER IN MY COMMUNITY#but tonight i just feel shitty and small and ineffectual and hypocritical and angry and cowardly#AND EVERYONES LIKE OH DEAL WITH THAT ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY THATLL HELP#MOTHERFUCKER I USE IT AS FUEL TO MAKE ART. TO PLAY MUSIC. TO TRY NOT TO FLUNK OUT OF A SCHOOL THAT I HATE BC OF THE INSTITUTIONS IT UPHOLDS#and i never have enough after my bills are paid to donate to all the gofundmes both here and in palestine i want to help out#im just so fucking mad. but im also 5'3“ and awkward and chubby and I cant fight and all of my friends tease me for it and it comes from a#place of love and im not mad at them. i just wish i could kick someones ass tonight. some fucking bigot i could put all my rage behind#and just keep hitting and hitting until the fucker stopped moving. but i cant do that. both not physically and also bc i Might Lose Everythi#ng#ill delete this tomorrow#time to watch some shitty youtube videos and eat something and get high enough that i dont feel so fucking mad#just consume my way out of it lmao
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cementcornfield · 1 year ago
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Which duo do you think have the stronger bond or will age better, Josh & Diggs or Joe & Ja’Marr?
(I know it’s a hard question) 😅
Hahahahaha it's a tough one but I love it.
A dear mutual put it best a few days ago when she said that the state of Allen & Diggs' relationship is directly correlated to how well the football is going. And I completely agree. To me they're a very fun duo in that watching them is like watching a train wreck, or when they're doing well, fireworks. Explosions either way though.
Joe'Marr though is the duo i'm most heavily invested in at the moment (the moment being the last year of my life almost). They have their own brand of insanity and while it's less overt than Diggs and Allen, it's very much there and fascinating to me. The little glimpses we get of what they actually mean to each other hidden behind Ja'Marr's constantly changing stories and Joe's rare openness. All of the history they have with each other at this point. The constant gestures of the game ball, the jersey, the pinky promise. The way they just know each other, better than anyone else on the team (how they both always emphasize they don't need words with each other). Ugh it hurts my heart truly and I cannot wait to see them together again in a few weeks!!!
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