#just need to bitch about my new job for a minute

[eccentriccryptid]

.

[widevibratobitch]

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[galariangengar]

💭

[sanguineterrain]

YES. BODYGUARD JASON TODD.

He's used to being looked over, just seen as meat & muscle (he doesn't mind, it's part of the job) but you're the first "job" who actually sees him, talks to him, makes him laugh 🫠 he doesn't know what he'll do if someone actually tries to put their hands on you 🙂

hiiii aud thank you for the scrumptious jaybird thoughts <3 so begins my bodyguard!Jason agenda!

bodyguard!jason todd x gn!reader. fluff, pining, and tension so thick you could cut it with a batarang.

All fics are reblogged to @sanguinelibrary

****

"Y'know, I think you just keep me around to carry your bags."

You grin over your shoulder where the Red Hood trails behind you, always five paces behind. Your takeout bag is in one hand, your new shirts in another. He wears a red mask over the lower half of his face, like always. Only seeing his eyes used to unnerve you, but now it's a comfort, finding his gaze in a crowd.

"That's not true. I also keep you around for something nice to look at," you say.

He tilts his head. Your belly flutters. "Flattery will get you nowhere, trouble."

"Flattery got me outside of my hotel, Red."

He sighs. "Tricking the hotel concierge doesn't count."

You laugh. "Sure it does. I think it does." You stick your arm out. "Will you walk next to me?"

"You know my rule."

"But you can easily cover me if you're next to me! And I'm so good at ducking. See?"

You duck and straighten a few times in a row to demonstrate. A few people stare. You ignore them. Hood's eyes crinkle in a way that tells you he's smiling.

"Mm, incredible technique. Wonder who taught you that. A ruggedly handsome bodyguard, perhaps?"

"Always hungry for the credit," you say. "Despicable."

"Ain't I?"

You turn around and stop. He stops five paces behind. You take a step forward. He takes a step back.

"I wanna see your face when we talk," you say, face pinched.

"Not in public, trouble. It's for your safety. You know that."

"Can't you come a little closer?"

None of your friends are like this with their personal guards. A moment from a friend's birthday party resurfaces.

It's almost like you'd rather be with him than us. You know he's just doing his job, right?

Hood stays exactly where he is. "This is the ideal spot for covering you. Now, c'mon. Thought you wanted to shop."

You sigh and let your arms flop to your sides. He must be nervous today. You can't imagine why.

"Fine. Be that way."

You hurry ahead. Hood doesn't lag behind. Stupid long-legged bodyguard.

"You can be mad at me as long as you stay safe," he says.

You turn again, about to really bitch about how strict he's being. But his proximity stops you short. He's inched closer, so close that you can properly see his eyes.

"This close enough for you?" he asks.

Hood's eyes are warm in the light, mossy and rich. His lashes and brows are dark and thick. Once or twice, you've seen a splash of freckles across his nose. The bridge of his nose is crooked like it's been broken one too many times.

Dear God, you yearn to know him.

Your stomach does more flips. Hood watches you, half-lidded.

"What're y'doing, trouble?"

His voice is soft, the way it gets when he's trying to smooth over a tiff between you. You can't figure out why he does that. You always get over it. And so does he. He has no choice.

"I'm looking at you, Red," you say.

"Yeah? What're y'lookin' at me for?"

"'Cause I want to."

He blinks. "Me? Not much to look at."

You look at each other for another minute. The want bubbles up again, spills out of your mouth before you can stop it.

"Please walk next to me," you say. "I need to know you're there."

He leans in to speak, black curl tumbling over his forehead. He smells sweet, like apples and spice. You almost appreciate the danger in your life because it keeps you in the Red Hood's line of sight.

"Wha's the matter? Y'nervous? I'm right here."

Oh, you're nervous, alright. Just not in the way he thinks. The way you ought to be.

You turn around. For your sake and his.

"Not nervous. Just... just... never mind. You pick where we go next, Red."

"It's your day. 'M just the driver," he says.

"If you won't walk next to me, the least you can do is pick where we go."

"The least I can do, huh?"

It's clear he isn't going to choose. So you watch him instead. You turn the corner and sneak glances over your shoulder. You don't care much about shopping anymore anyway. It's only an excuse to go out. To be alone with him.

Your answer comes. It's only for a split second, but you catch it anyway. He taught you to notice things after all. Says it could be the difference between living and dying.

You immediately change course. Hood follows you easily, and you breeze through the bookstore's entrance. You sneak a look to gauge his reaction. He's looking around, but that could just be him clocking the exits and obstacles. You grab his hand. He looks at your joined hands, then at you.

"Feeling lost?" he asks.

"No. Just trying to keep you present. Nothing’s gonna happen in a bookshop, Red."

That crease in the middle of his forehead returns. "'S my job to plan for the worst. Keeping you safe is the only thing that matters."

"Not the only thing."

His eyebrows rise. "Whaddya talking about? 'Course it is."

You look at your joined hands. This is bad. This is really, really bad. You'd might as well pull your heart out of your chest and let Hood carry that too.

You start to walk, fingers slipping out of his. Hood doesn't try to rejoin them.

He stays closer in here, close enough that you can talk quietly and smell his apple pie scent.

"What do you like to read?" you ask.

Hood glances at you. "Clocked that about me, did you?"

"I was taught by the best," you say sweetly.

He hums. Doesn't joke or laugh. Just makes a soft sound. It's not often you render him speechless.

"I loved Frankenstein as a kid. I always hoped he'd love his monster, but..."

Hood disappears for a moment, lost in his head. You take his hand, heart be damned.

"Red?"

He looks at you again. His eyes are wild. Sometimes, it seems like they glow.

"My... my dad used to read it to me," he says. "One time I asked if he'd love the monster anyway. He promised he would."

You rub his knuckles. He flinches, like he's forgotten where he is. 

"Someone's devotion to our monstrous parts is something we all want," you say.

You spend more time in the bookstore. Hood attracts a few stares, like always, but you're left alone. He carries your shopping without complaint, without strain, and you wonder if your friend was right, if this is just a job.

You buy a special edition of Frankenstein under his attention. Then you turn around and hand him the book. He keeps it under his arm.

"Ready to head back? Y'hungry?"

"That's for you," you say.

"Hm? What is?"

"The book. It's for you, Red."

Silence. The second time that you've stunned the words out of him. You're on a roll.

"Y'don't have to do that," he says, gentle as can be.

"It's a present for you. A thank you."

Hood shakes his head. "You don't need to thank me for protecting you. Just doing my job."

"I'm thanking you for being my friend. Because... you are, right? My friend?"

This time, Hood's eyes on you are heavy. You wonder if he can see your heart beating, see your belly fluttering, see the real reason why you get nervous around him.

"Yeah, trouble," he says, book cradled to his chest like it's precious cargo. "I'm yours."

[bitchesgetriches]

Everything You Need to Know about How to Increase Your Income

Make more money at the job you have

One of the simplest ways to increase your income is to just make your current employer pay you more. But while it may be simple, it ain’t always easy.

Santa Isn’t Coming and Neither Is Your Promotion: How To Get Promoted

How I Chessmastered Myself Into a Promotion at Work

The First Time I Asked for a Raise

You Need To Ask for a Fucking Raise

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?” 

The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your Salary

Make more money at your next job

All that said, you’re statistically more likely to increase your income faster by job hopping! So if your current employer doesn’t want to pay you more, leave that sinking ship behind in pursuit of a higher salary.

Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers

The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll

How NOT to Determine Your Salary

When It Comes to Salary Negotiations, Are You Asking for Enough?

What To Do When You’re Asked About Your Salary Requirements in a Job Interview

If Your Employer Refuses To Negotiate Salary, Try These 11 Creative Counteroffers

Season 4, Episode 9: “I’m on the Wrong Career Path. How Do I Convince a New Industry To Take a Chance on Me?” 

Invest your way to more money

Of course there are some who say the true path to wealth is passive income: when you stop working for your money and instead let your money work for you. And they’re not wrong! Here’s how we recommend you increase your income passively.

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not 

What’s the REAL Rate of Return on the Stock Market?

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One? 

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.

Season 4, Episode 1: “Index Funds Include Unethical Companies. Can I Still Invest in Them, or Does That Make Me a Monster?” 

Small Business Investing: A Kinder, Gentler Alternative to the Stock Market 

The Dark Magic of Financial Horcruxes: How and Why to Diversify Your Assets 

Make more money through side hustles

When it comes to side hustles, we have traditionally advocated caution. The last thing you want to do is burn out in pursuit of a second income stream. But with enough wits and fortitude, a side hustle could help you increase your income by leaps and bounds.

Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough

Season 2, Episode 9: “I Use My Free Time to Volunteer. Should I Focus on Making Money Instead?”

Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool

Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract 

Season 4, Episode 10: “I’m a Freelance Artist. How Do I Price My Work Fairly Without Losing Clients?”

Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won’t Give Me a Contract and I’m Freaking Out 

“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification 

Becoming a Millennial Entrepreneur (In the Midst of a Pandemic) With Katelyn Magnuson 

11 Awful Mistakes I Made as a Self-employed Freelancer, and How You Can Avoid Them

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

What to do when you make more money

Once you increase your income, you might find yourself… not quite bored, but finding you have a little more bandwidth to handle the stuff that matters. It can be a jarring transition! Here are our thoughts on the matter.

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?” 

Season 3, Episode 4: “The More Money I Save, the More I’m Scared To Lose It. Can I Break the Cycle of Financial Anxiety?” 

How to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation … and When to Embrace It

Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed 

The FIRE Movement, Explained 

I Was Happy to Marry a Poor Man. Then Things Changed.

I Have Become the Rich Relative I Always Wanted 

Believing in Miracles: A Conversation with Chris Dane Owens on Money, Creativity, and Self-Funding Art 

I Now Make More Money Than My Husband, and It’s Great for Our Marriage 

Season 2, Episode 1: “I’m Financially Stable, but My Friends Aren’t. The Guilt Is Crushing!”

The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting

Advocate for systemic change

We don’t endorse an attitude of “I got mine.” So once you increase your income, there are lots of ways to use your newfound financial breathing room for good! Lift as you climb, my friend. Here are a few ways to do so:

Wallet Activism: Using Your Money for Good with Author Tanja Hester 

Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job 

Raising the Minimum Wage Would Make All Our Lives Better

Post a Salary Range in the Job Description, You Fucking Cowards

1 Easy Way All Allies Can Help Close the Gender and Racial Pay Gap

The Truth About Unions: What Has Organized Labor Done for You? 

How To Support a Labor Strike with 3 Simple Steps

Everything in moderation

One last thing, my lambs: don’t crush your spirit while chasing the goal of a higher income. Working hard is hard work. If you find these tactics are leaving you exhausted and demoralized, you might be on the road to burnout. And that road leads nowhere good!

That’s why we just released our glorious new Burnout Workshop. Click the button below to take a peek!

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[carame1bunny]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽What happens in the Captain’s office…☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

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author’s note: Hi! First RE writing, I hope you’ll like it! Chris is my biggest love, so of course the first writing is his(and there is not enough Chris writing out there!).

word count: 2,8k

pairing: Chris Redfield x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT(mdni!), enemies to lovers, office sex, protected sex, dirty talk, manhandling, powerplay, oral(fem receiving), alcohol, fighting and swearing.

summary: Chris hates the new recruit. Why? He doesn’t even know, until his friend makes his eyes open up. One morning, when he sees her, he decided to take matters into his own hands and show her not to mess with him.

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It was no secret that Captain Redfield hated the new recruit. Most would believe that he hated her because she wasn’t good enough, wasn’t cut for the job, or maybe she might have been a massive bitch. However, none of these could be said about (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She was good, cut for the job and a good person. So why did the Captain hate her so much?

Chris decided to pick up a bottle of liquor after work, so he could wallow in his apartment, surrounded by his own pity. He quickly shed his work clothes, took a shower and lounged on the couch with the bottle of whiskey. Every single thoughts of his were about her.

She quickly picked up his distaste towards her, so she became sassy and sharp-tongued towards him. Technically, the rule was to always respect your superior, but exceptions could always be made. As the weeks went by, their relationship intensified, especially when they got partnered up for training. Both of them were furious, and tried to change it, but the director didn’t let them. “Look, your strengths and weaknesses match up perfectly. And my decision is final.” That made both of them sigh in disappointment.

The hours went by and before they knew it, they were standing in the gym of the base. They were supposed to help each other out, but they decided to make it harder for each other. Chris was lifting heavy weights, and Y/N stood beside him, counting how much he lifted. It pretty much went like…

“One. Two. Two. Three. Four. Four. Four.”

Chris put the weight on it’s stand and scoffed at Y/N. “That’s not how you count, sweetheart.”

“It’s not my fault you don’t pull them down deep enough.” And that’s how the first of many arguments started.

Then, it was time to practice combat. They circled around in the ring like lions. They began fighting, and they did not go easy on each other. Chris’ lip was split and Y/N’s nose was bleeding, due to great timed punches. The more they fought, the more aggressive they became. Their skin was shining with sweat, their hair was messed up and their training clothes twisted around their bodies. After a while, when Chris thought he managed to tire her out, Y/N jumped at him and managed to get him on his back with a flip. The sound of a loud thud was followed by a choked groan, Y/N pressed her foot into his throat. The silence was filled with both of them breathing heavily. After a minute of silence, their phones rang at the same time, indicating the end of their training. She took her foot away and collected her stuff. Just before she stepped out the door, she looked back at Chris, whose eyes followed every move of her’s and whose body was still laid on the floor. She smirked and winked. “Looking forward to our next training, sweetheart.” With those words, she left, leaving the Captain alone with his shame. Not just because a young woman, who was at least ten years younger than him, managed to throw him on the floor. But, because his pants were tight, due to his rock-hard dick straining against the fabric.

After the shameful session of standing under ice cold water for fifteen minutes, Chris decided to call his friend over. He needed someone to talk to.

Leon was sitting at his dining table an hour later, both of them nursing on glasses filled with vodka. Leon was the first to break the silence.

“So, will you tell me what’s up your ass lately, or are we going to sit in silence for hours?” Chris acted weird lately, always deeply pondering and zoning out. “Is it something, or someone?” Leon could read Chris like a goddamn book.

“There’s a new recruit at the BSAA.” The bulky man said it as if it was the biggest problem in the whole wide world.

“…and? Is she a clumsy one?”

“What makes you think it’s a she?” Leon just raised one of his eyebrows, Chris knew he was cornered. “No. She’s… good, great even. She has combat skills, flexibility, reflexes, everything.” He downed his drink in one go and already poured another.

“That means you’ll have a great soldier on the team. I don’t see the problem.” Chris had this guilty look on his face. His silence told Leon the entire situation. “Oh, I see…”

“Oh, please, you have no idea.”

Leon only chuckled. “Let me share my theory.” He cleared his throat. “You are not mad at the girl, you are mad at the things she makes you feel. She is everything you ever wanted, no? And you need to take one look at her to get very aroused. But, you are afraid that the situation is too complicated, and that these feelings will stand in the way of your precious work.” The blonde’s smug face became ever more smug when he was how Chris nearly had his jaw on the floor. Of course his best friend had him all figured out.

“How the fuck did you actually know that?!” Chris said as soon as his words found him again.

“I was in the same situation years ago.” Leon said, referring to the dark-haired woman in Raccoon City many years ago.

“Sooo… What the hell should I do? She hates my guts.” He buried his face in his palms.

“Does she?” Leon got a nod for answer. “Does she dress nicely?” Nod. “All dolled up, everyday?” Nod. “And somehow you two cross paths everyday?” Another nod. “She likes you, man.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course. How old is she?” Asked Leon.

“Nearly ten years younger than us.” Chris hissed as he said it.

“So, what? You’re both adults. And younger women tend to like older men. They are attracted to the experience, and sometimes… They need a real man to take care of them.” Leon poured another round and held up his glass, so Chris could clink their glasses together. “I say, make a move on her.”

“What if she says no?” He was overthinking, as always.

“Then she says no. At least you tried, and you had enough courage to do so. But, I don’t think she’ll say no. She is waiting for you to make a move.”

After that, other topics were discussed. However, Y/N still lingered in the back of Chris’ mind.

The next day, they had no scheduled training. Chris had a little plan of his, a smooth way to ask her out, however… The plan flew right out the window when he saw her. He felt his anger boiling. She was walking around in a low-cut blouse and the tightest pencil skirt he ever saw. Every swell and curve of her ass was visible. She was standing in front of his office, smoking a cigarette by the window. He wasn’t thinking clearly, so he walked up to her, grabbed her wrist and yanked her into his office. He turned back to lock his door, and then he leaned against him. She just sat up on his desk and smiled at him.

“Wow, having a rough mor—-“ she began saying slyly, before he cut her off.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” His voice was furious. She just raised a questioning eyebrow. “Walking around the base like that?! Have you lost your mind?” He walked closer to her, he was nearly yelling, before realizing that anyone could walk in front of the door.

“Remind me. How does my clothing choices involve you?” She just crossed her legs, the fabric rid up and showed off her toned legs.

“Do you want every man in the building to drool on you? Do you want their attention on you? You want them to see everything that is not theirs?”

She only shrugged and Chris stepped right before her. Their faces are only inches away, when he spoke, she could feel his warm minty breath on her lips.

“Do you want them to think you dress for them?” He leaned even closer. “When we both know that it’s me you dress for.” He said boldly.

Her smirk got even more evident. “Don’t flatter yourself so much, Captain.” She hadn’t tried moving away.

They were both becoming more lightheaded and confident, how could they not when they were basking in each other’s scents?

“You didn’t deny.”

She slipped off the desk and began walking towards the door. He immediately caught her wrist, but before he could blink, she turned both of them around and pushed him against the door. He was looking at her lips like a man starved, and who was she to deny him? In a quick movement, she connected their lips and they let out a sigh of relief.

His hands flew to her waist to pull her closer, and her fingers tangled in his short hair. Their kiss became more and more intense. Soon enough, the only thing that was heard in his office was the dance of tongues and clashing of teeths.

He tapped her ass and she jumped into his arms. His palms held her ass, he blindly walked to the desk and put her down.

She broke their kiss, so for a few moments, they just stared at each other. Processing what just happened and looking for the permission to go further. God, she looked so hot, her lips glistening with saliva, her hair all messed up and her face flushed from lack of breath. He must have been in the same state.

They nodded at each other and clever fingers began pulling clothes away. While his hands untucked her blouse, her fingers sneaked under his turtleneck and up his back, only to pull it off him in one fast move. He mirrored her actions by lifting her blouse over her head. His lips kissed the top of her breasts, which was rewarded by a breathy moan from her. He also pushed her skirt upwards, so it was wrinkled around her waist, with her panties on full display. He groaned at the sight of her, he just wanted to eat her up. Of course she had to walk around with lacy underwear under her clothes, now everytime Chris looks at her, that will be the only thing he will be able to think about.

“You’re gorgeous, sweetheart.” He said, it caused her to smile.

“You’re not too shabby yourself, Captain.”

He chuckled and dropped to his knees. His fingers wrapped around the waistband of her panties, the scent of her pussy filled his nostrils and made his mouth water. “Will you let me get a taste of you?” She could feel his hot breath at her inner thigh.

“Please, do.”

With the green light given. He nearly tore the panties off and dived right between her legs. The second his lips came in contact with her cunt, she moaned quietly, her hands flew to his hair. “You taste so fucking amazing, sweetheart. All this for me?”

She whined and tried to push his face into her, but he wouldn’t let her until she said it. “Y-yes, all for you, Captain…”

“Good girl.” His lips quickly found her clit and he began suckling, flicking and tracing around. He did that for a bit, his chin was soaked with her wetness, so he decided to give her clenching hole some attention too. He pushed his tongue into her and he felt her legs twitch. He then switched back to her clit and teased her entrance with his finger. He fingered her and immediately began nudging her g-spot.

“I-I’m close!” He wouldn’t deny her, of course. So, he sped up the movement of his lips and fingers. A second later, she came all over his face and had to bite into her arm to muffle her sinful sounds. He drew out her orgasm as long as he could and when she pushed his head away from her cunt from overstimulation.

He licked his lips with a wicked look on his face, while she tried catching her breath.

As soon as she did. She straightened up and began unbuttoning his pants. She got him out of his boxers and gasped. Her hands wrapped around his rock hard cock, it was so big and thick. His tip was dripping precum constantly, he just couldn’t wait to be inside of her. He felt hot in her hands, and she could feel every throb of his.

She hopped off the desk to drop to her knees, but with a hand on her chin, he stopped her. “No, I cannot wait a minute more, I need to be inside you.” With a swift motion, he turned her around and pushed the front of her body on the table.

He could have blown his load right then and there, her ass and pussy was all on display for him, her hole clenched and waited for him, only him. She suddenly reached into her bra and pulled out a condom, he took it gratefully and rolled it on himself. “Why do you—?”

“Better to be prepared.” He chuckled and whispered a quiet “True”.

He held his cock by the base and the other caressed her back.

With one motion, he slipped inside her, which caused them both to groan. She was so wet that she immediately welcomed her in. He tried to be gentle, but the more she tightened around him, the more he lost control.

Before they knew it, he was pounding into her with an impressive speed. His hands were tangled in her hair, so he could pull her back to his chest. Both of his arms were around her hips to steady himself. She was struggling to keep her moans back, so one of his hands left her hips and two of his fingers were put in her mouth. “Shh, you wouldn’t want everyone to hear how much you love getting fucked by your superior, now do you?” She only shook her head.

After a bit, he pulled out and sat her up on the desk. The second she felt his cock leave her, she whined, which got her a hand wrapped around her throat. “Don’t be greedy. You’ll take what I give you, whenever I do.” He could feel her walls clenching around him, so she was into powerplay? Maybe, but what he did know, is that she looked absolutely divine this way. His arms holding her legs up, her tits in the bra bouncing with his every thrust. This time, he shut her up by claiming her lips with his own, to which she immediately complied. Their tongues twirled, and their moans drowned in each other’s mouth.

She blindly reached for his hand and put it on her neglected clit. He immediately started rubbing her in small circles, and her legs jerked from the extra stimulation. “Have you wanted this to happen, sweetheart?” He said, and she nodded quickly. “Put on your tight little clothes every morning, hoping that I’ll whisk you away to fuck you stupid?”

“Y-yes, Captain!” She whimpered as he began kissing her neck.

“But, you still beat the shit out of me in training?” He said to her slyly and she chuckled.

“Consider it as foreplay.” She threw her head back, to give him more to kiss.

“Mhm, but you’re a good girl.” He cooed to her, and it made her nearly melt under him. “You just need someone to take care of you, hm?”

“Yes, yes! I’m about to—OH!” She pulled her nails across his back, which brought him to the edge.

“Go ahead, sweetheart. Come all over my cock.”

They managed to fall over the edge at the same time, and her walls just kept milking him dry. They took a few minutes to catch their breaths.

He gently pulled out of her and helped her on her wobbly feet. He tied the condom and threw it out. He had some tissues in his desk so he cleaned her and himself up. She was reaching for her panties, when he suddenly snatched. “Mine.”

She pouted. “That’s my favorite pair.”

“I’ll buy you a hundred more.” He said, and that satisfied her enough.

She gave him one last kiss and made her way to the door. She turned around just before she left. “See you at training tomorrow?”

“Of course. And don’t plan on bringing another favorite pair of panties.” He said as he sat down, after all, the paperwork won’t do itself.

She sighed, but giggled. “Fuck you.” She waved and left his office.

“You sure will.” He whispered to himself. He leaned back into his chair and got started on the files.

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[beansnsoup]

You Stupid B!tch

Summary: As your closest friend, it's Sero's job to be supportive of you, and that also means he has to support you and your new boyfriends even though he is head over heels for you.

Relationship: Platonic going on romantic

Character: Hanta Sero

Warnings: Fluff, some angst??, gn reader, self doubt??

"So?" You twirl around in your outfit, giving Sero a full 360 while he sits on your bed. "How do I look?"

"Fantastic, you're going to take his breath away."

"You think so?"

"Yes, now go get 'em tiger, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

He pushes you out of your dorm as you grab your bag, you wave him one last goodbye before stepping into the elevator and leaving the dormitory entirly.

Sero lets out a big sigh and walks back to his room. There were so many nights like this where he would help you get ready for your dates, and the hope of you one day getting ready for a date with him was slipping away.

It's not that he was open about his little crush, though he had mentioned it to Denki, Ejiro, and Katsuki many times. He knew if he told Mina she would let it slip within minutes.

He knows it's bad to think, but every time you go out, he wishes that you would get stood up so he can pick you up and comfort you so you can finally see he's the one you need, the one that has been there for you this whole time.

As Sero lays on his bed, thoughts of you wandering about, he gets a notification from his phone from Kirishima.

Kirishima: Movie night???

He sighs, making his way down to the lounge area in his pajamas. He's met with Kirishima, Bakugo, and Denki, "Where's Mina?" He asks, sitting down next to Kirishima on the large couch.

"She said she was sleeping over with Hagakure tonight." Kirishima replies as he scrolls through movie options.

"Which gives us the perfect opportunity to talk about why Y/n looked so nice when they left tonight. Who's the guy?" Denki asks, eyeing down Sero.

Bakugo slaps the back of his head, "What?! I was only asking!" Denki defends himself.

"Oh, I don't know much about him, but I think they really like him." Sero replies mindlessly.

Sometimes he didn't realize how pathetic his crush was towards you, he suppressed it so much that his whole deminer was pitiful, and his friends hated seeing him so down.

When you were around it brought out the best in him, sometimes when you weren't even around, he'd always find ways to bring you up in a conversation.

But when you had a date lined up and he'd overhear you telling Mina, he would tense up, going into his own little world where he was the one you wanted to be with.

These feelings made him into a person he hated, he didn't want to be hooked on you when he was studying to become a pro hero, but at the same time he couldn't just let you go.

He wanted you to be their when he finally reached success, and he wanted to be their when you reached yours.

"Listen, man, I know they're like the love of your life or whatever, but your moping around isn't very manly." Kirishima snorted as he finally chose a movie.

Sero just rolled his eyes at the remark and turned his focus to the TV in front of them.

As the movie went on, Sero was craving a text from you, wondering if everything was all right, even if the text was you informing you this guy was the best you've ever met.

The sky got darker, and the movie was close to being over when you finally walked through the door again.

"Oh my god, you guys are watching Deadpool without me?" You slipped off your shoes and ran towards the couch, sliding next to Sero.

"Me and Denki are rewatching them so we can watch the new one this weekend if Aizawa doesn't load more work on us." Kirishima informs you, before you can say anything in reply Denki interrupts you.

"So, how was the date?"

You fluster a bit, feeling your face get hot, "It was good."

Sero can't help but notice the bashful smile on your face, that could be him you're smiling about.

"Do we not get details?" Denki is pushing more information out of you, not realizing Kirishima and Bakugos glare, he also doesn't notice Sero's carefree demeanor fading away.

"Well, I met him at the restaurant, which was so nice, then after that we went to the arcade near here, we won a toy bear, but we gave it to this little girl sitting outside, then we walked me all the way back here." You described the night to Denki, Sero had stopped listening when you said 'Well'.

"Do you think he's the one?" Denki asks, the last part coming out in a more dramatic tone and the back of his hand meets his forehead.

This is when Sero perks up again, waiting for your answer.

You shrug your shoulders, "I don't know, maybe. But you know me, I said that about the last guy, and he turned out to be a total jerk."

Sero remembers that nigh all too well, you had just found out he was only using you due to Class 1-A's popularity. Sero had offered to stay with you in your dorm that night to watch your favorite movies with your favorite snacks and let you cry onto his shoulder.

All he could think about while you would cry was how he never wanted to see you like this again, he always wanted to see a smile on your face and witness you be treated like royalty.

Before Denki can say anything else Sero excuses himself, commenting on how it's late and that he's tired, not tired of lack of sleep, but tired of his lack of you.

Bakugo groans once he leaves the room, "He is so pathetic."

"Bakugo, just leave it." Kirishima warns, turning off the movie after the credits have rolled.

"He's just tired. What's the problem?" You chime in, all of the boys look at you, Bakugo just chuckles in disbelief.

"What? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Nothing, nothing." Kirishima says, trying to stay composed.

"Y/n, what do you think of Sero?" Denki blurts out without thinking.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, would you go out with him?" Denki continued, knowing it was too late to shut up now.

"We've always just been friends; I don't want to ruin what we have, and I don't think he likes me like that."

"Have you ever tried to show him any type of affection aside from the friendly kind?" Kirishima finally speaks up.

"No? What is this? What's going on?"

"Nothing, forget we said anything." Kirishima says

You awkwardly get up from your spot on the couch, giving all your friends a goodnight. Only that night you couldn't sleep with the number of questions that raced through your mind.

You reach for your phone, just to check the time but that leads to you scrolling through various apps. You close out the tabs so you can finally sleep, but instead you go to text Sero.

Y/n: You up??

Sero rolls over when he hears the ping of his phone, not being able to fully fall asleep either. His eyes widen at the sight of your name on the screen, picking it up quickly.

Sero: Yea, I can't sleep

Y/n: Same

He stares at his phone, thinking of what to say next until he sees the little typing bubbles appear. Sero sits there, watching them disappear then slowly reappear again.

Finally, the message you had apparently been slaving away at sends.

Y/n: Can I come over?

His jaw falls open, to which he quickly closes and composes himself.

Sero: Sure

Sero wants to throw his phone across the room and stuff his face into a pillow and scream, but he refrains himself and tries to act as sane as possible.

It's not like he hasn't had to disguise his crush on you before, so why was now so different?

Was it the seeing you look absolutely stunning for your date? Was it you reaching out to him instead of the boy you went out with tonight? Was it you texting him in the middle of the night? Or was it you wanting to come over in the middle of the night?

His thoughts are put to a sudden stop by a knock and your voice, Sero gets up to open the door to let you in, and you walk straight to his bed, getting as comfortable as possible.

"If you fall asleep in here and Aizawa finds out it isn't my fault." He warns, sitting beside you on the comforter.

"I'll keep that in mind." You reply, curling up next to him. The two of you sit in long comfortable silence before you break it again.

"Denki and Kirishima said some things that got me thinking."

Sero tenses up, "Yeah? Like what?"

"They asked if I would go out with you, or if I've ever put any moves on you, totally out of the blue."

At this point, Seros' heart was beating out of his chest, and he had pretty much lost all feeling in his face, "What did you say?"

"I was just confused, so I didn't really say anything. Why?"

"Nothing, just wondering."

This time, the silence that filled the room wasn't comfortable, it was more awkward if anything.

Sero is the one that speaks up this time, "What would you do if I did? Hypothetically."

"I've never really thought about it before."

Ouch.

"But I don't think I'd hate the idea of it." You add, peaking his interest.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just don't want to ruin what we have Sero, what if it didn't work out?"

"Nothing could ever change us, I'd never not want to be with you."

"You mean it?"

All Sero can do is nod. This moment is so surreal to him.

"Are you going to do it?"

He looks at you, confused, "Do what?"

"Ask me out."

Sero is frozen in place. The only thing he can do is avert his gaze from you. He's dreamt of this moment so many times, but now that it's actually sort of happening, he can't get any words out.

Your hand grazes his as you continue to look at him, trying to ease his stress a little. He lets out a breath, looking back at you.

"Y/n, will you go out with me?"

He feels like he's going to throw up, or he's just going to hear the sound of his alarm and get ready to go to class.

"Yes, Sero, I would love to."

You give him a wide smile, engulfing him in a hug.

Okay, maybe this isn't a dream.

Sero feels as if the hugest weight was lifted off of his shoulders, like the whole world has come to a stop.

Until he starts to think of your date again, he pulls you off of him, but still keeping a grasp on you.

"What about your man candy from tonight?"

You laugh, "I'm sure he'd understand. He kept bringing up a girl best friend anyway, which isn't a good sign."

"So you lied about it being a good date?"

"No, it was great. You have a lot to compete with."

"I've been waiting so long to plan this date, it's going to be the best one you've been on yet."

"I can't wait."

Lowkey gave me Phineas and Isabella vibes ngl 😬😬

[bruh-anator3000]

im obsessed with the Black Cat, I hope that's clear, too. and Miguel. And Logan and Wade, so what if we mashed them all up in a blender and see what happens?

Edit: I didn't mean for this one to get so out of hand, but it did, so its a short story now I guess.

Warnings: sexual themes, hella suggestive, SPOILERS HINTED from the new Deadpool, tension sexy styles, I might get Gambit '97 involved so we can listen to '4 big guys' for part two, it is a love triangle/square, trust and don't worry. Everyone's bisexual. No pronouns for reader used, but written w fem!reader in mind, that's why I'm saying bisexual, but this could just be gay for my amabs.

Parinings: Black Cat!reader x Miguel O'Hara x Logan Howlett x Wade Wilson (uh-huh. I said what I said)

~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~~◇◇◇~~~♡♡♡~~

Like, you didn't want to bring your roommates along with you for this heist. God. You didn't even want their sticky fingers on the paper plans. But you were running low on rent, Blind Al was a bitch now that they suspended her coke supply, and your normal crew got sick!

Dr. Boris Korpse was the smartest man alive. He could hack any system, jimmy any lock, and blew the ones he couldn't up. Bruno wasn't the brightest, but he was the bravest. And he had the muscles to prove it. He was a great getaway driver, too. And they were sick.

Wade was smart... enough. Logan was... decently strong. Logan was more of a brute, actually. Careless with his strength when it came to it, but trusting Wade Wilson to drive you home safe? With his self destructive streak? It was safer to have him do the code cracking. Hopefully.

"I wonder how many people caught the earlier exposition is from the actual comics," Wade grunted under his mask, typing in a special security code into the keypad.

Looking around with furrowed brows, he did realize it was just you three, right? You glanced at Logan, wondering if he understood what Deadpool was saying. He only gave a slight shake of his head.

"It's a quick in and out," You reminded the two, walking past the gates as the hissed open, thanks to Wilson. How he knew the password so easily, you didn't know. He said something about 'writer being too lazy to build up to the reveal,' which made it 'easier to follow if he just knew.'

Logan grunted as he followed. It frightened you how well he could retain the plans you've gone over so many times this week. It was great for him, and for you! But also sucked, because they guy replacing your 'smart guy' still needed a refresher.

You take your stance beside the large bars hiding the painting. Idly looking around while Logan let out a primal roar as he pried the gap between the metal bars wider.

"I bet that's what it sounds like when you're close, huh?" Wade snickered, pinching the yellow fabric on his hips. You cringed for several reasons. Wade's constant immaturity. And, God's above, Logan's ridiculous outfit.

Honoring the X-men or not, the yellow was as bright as a trafficlight.

You slipped through the widened gap now, ignoring Wade's whistle behind you. "You do realize this is supposed to be a silent mission?" You sneered, now on the other side of the enclosure.

Wade shrugged. "Don't worry, peaches. Nothing bad ever happens to the sexy ones. Logan might get left behind, but you and me?" His mask hid the way he bit his lip and winked. It looked like he was just staring at you.

"Alright." You sighed and moved on. That was the best way to handle these two. They gave you no other choice. I mean, you could give in and fuck them, but you were planning to save that for later if they did a good job tonight.

With the painting carefully removed, the bars bent back in place, and Wade managing to keep his pants on for a few minutes, all that was left to do was leave. You had Logan carry the painting as you all ran back to the World War 1 exhibit - the way you entered through.

You made sure the two were in front of you the entire time. You couldn't risk them getting lost, their bulk and dead brains might break something if you weren't watching them carefully. And the red and blue lights glowing as you ran past were not any help.

You stopped dead in your tracks. That wasn't your normal bisexual lighting. There were no sirens, either.

You jogged back a few paces, stopping by the archway of one of the many halls in the museum. Face to face with the digital glow of a blue and red mask.

"Hey Spider," Grinning softly, you leaned on the doorway. The Spider-Man hung upside-down on his red wire webs, per usual. You didn't need to see his sexy face to see that stoic pout he always wore.

"Good evening." He greets in that deep voice, hinting with an accent you loved. The red outlines of his eyes squinting as you boop his nose. "Are we really going to do this tonight?" He scowls, and you swoon.

He flips down, landing on his feet. Broad shoulders and thin waist beautifully extenuated by the suit that was more code than fabric. Towering over you, red blades on the back of his forearms.

"At least take your mask off," You taunt. To which he does. When has Miguel ever denied that request? As infuriating as it was, it was also a very freeing day when the two of you finally put the suits aside and fu- talked. In bed.

His brown curls looked neat today. Dark red eyes watching your every move. That pout on his sharp angled face was too cute. He was so grumpy all the time.

He glances behind you, leaning over slightly to look at the damage you've done. "Portrait of Madame X?" He notes the missing piece of work. Thick brow arching in suspicion.

You shrug. "She's an idol of mine." An idol worth 20 million to your buyer. But he didn't need to worry his pretty little head about the details.

"Do you want a 10 second head start?" He offers, placing a hand by your head and leaning in. Keeping you between his hard chest and the wall. His lips parted with a slight smirk.

"Bub, where'd you go?" Logan's gruff voice grows closer. Wade skipping alongside him. Both of them stopping dead in their tracks at the sight of Miguel.

His mask quickly ripples into place and he steps back, snarling. "Who are you?" His eyes dart to the painting you were supposed to be stealing, in some other man's hold. Keeping his body towards and more in between to block you from the other two, he snarls.

"I am soaking wet right now." Wade groans softly, admiring this little stand off. He wasn't kidding, Spider-Man had been in his 'hit' list for a few years now.

Miguel bristles, back going tense. And as great of a view that was, you knew it meant trouble.

"No, they're with me." Grabbing his broad and beefy shoulder, you push him back. Accidentally putting yourself in the middle of this odd triangle you've created.

Miguel glowers at you. "My regulars were out. I needed an extra hand." You shrug it off. That's all they were. Extra hands. In a heist. You totally weren't going to make out with them on the car ride home.

Tension thick, your shoulders weigh down as you look at all three of the men. A tinge of embarrassment hits you as you realize how similar their figures looked. You definitely had a type.

Wade breaks it up, or attempts to with another sentence you don't exactly understand. "Jesus, if the writer would get over themselves, I would fuck you two so hard." He gestures to Logan and Miguel. Earning an angry grunt from both of them that just seems to further his excitement.

"I'm so pissed we have to wait for a part two."

"Part two? Of what?" You raise a brow, looking at Wade.

He waves a hand. They don't get it.

...

But you do. And if you want a part two, please let me know! This was just an idea festering (that got out of hand a little) and I'm not sure what to make with it just yet. I also need a title for this, so if you guys have any suggestions, please let me know. Love you!

[fandoms--fluff]

Could write a dark Hope Mikaelson were she has fem yn as like her side kick instead of Lizzie

Training

Heretic female reader x no humanity Hope Mikaelson

Warnings: none?

A/n: This is probably not the most exact accuracy, but I haven't watched Legacies in a hot minute, and even then I've only seen it once. So I tried my best from what I do remember. I hope you like it!

Plus i may have made this a romantic ending. and maybe a bit more fluffy than it should be, but I didn't realize it in the moment i was writing it, so I hope you still enjoy it wither way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, how much longer is this going to take? We've been in this crummy motel for the past four days and have barely made progress on Aurora" You lean against the door way with your arms crossed.

It's been a boring couple of days and you need to get out of here, but of course Hope thinks otherwise, the closest you get to to 'leave' is going outside on the balcony. And even then, you're always accompanied by her as if you were to run away. Which would be a stupid decision on your part for even just thinking about it. The humanity-less tribrid is not a force you want to reckon with. Especially considering the sire bond between her and yourself.

It's not even that you're hungry or anything to do with your new vampire side colliding with your siphoner witch side. It's more like you're so sick of staying in the same place with no room to breathe or have any time to yourself. Even when you're in the shower, you can tell Hope is close by the door, listening. Which is in your mind just plain creepy, but you never bring it up, not wanting to make the tribrid mad.

Hope looks up from the desk where she has a contraption of some sorts that looks half put together. "I thought I told you to stay with Aurora in case she tries something." Hope blatantly says, ignoring your question.

You test your luck, "Well, she's been passed for the last three hours and I started to feel a bit creepy just staring at her. And it feels stuffy, can't we do something other than this. Even for just a little while. You seem like you could use a break." You tell her.

She sighs. That's all she does before she gets up, the contraption grasped in her hand and walks past you into the other room where Aurora is chained to the wooden chair.

Before you can even ask what she's doing, Hope plunges it into Aurora's chest. The redhead screams in agony as the contraption sinks deeper in and then causes her to pass out again, her body withering in pain.

Hope turns back to you as if looking for a compliment on what she just did. "What? What do you want me to say? Yay, good job for torturing the red head bitch?" You ask, exasperated.

"Come on," is all she says, nodding to the door as an order to follow her. You glance back at Aurora once more before following her outside the run down motel door.

"What's going on?" You ask as she closes the door and puts a spell on it to make sure no one can go in or leave the room.

"Well, you've been pestering me for how long to get out of here? So, that's what we're going to do, we're going to go to the carnival in town. To test your abilities and to train them" She states while walking down the old creaky steps that lead to the parking lot.

You furrow your eyebrows in suspicion but follow her nonetheless. Climbing into the passenger seat of the car, you do up your seat belt before turning to her. "Should I be worried or turned on about your newfound creepiness?" You smirk.

That gets her to pause, and slowly turn to you, hands still placed on the wheel. "Just do as I say" she finally answers before backing out of the parking spot and going onto the road.

You smile to yourself, proud how even with the sire bond, you could get under her skin...Well to an extent. You don't want to cross a line.

It's quiet on the whole way to the carnival, its quite unnerving. You audibly sigh when you guys finally get there and climb out of the car. Hope pays no mind to it as she leads you guys through the entrance past excited, screaming, and running kids.

"So, when is training going to commence?" You couldn't take it anymore and broke the silence between the both of you.

"Now" She answers, stopping in front of the test your strength game. "Strength is great in a fight, but can also be your downfall in everyday life" She turns to you, and leans in close to your, "Well, un-life." She pulls away and faces the worker in charge of the game.

One second you were watching them talking, the man scoffing at her, and the next, Hope bent down and tapped the surface. The metal piece shot up and hit the highest mark gracefully before plummeting back down.

'"How?.." The man was gobsmacked at what just happened.

The tribrid turns back to you. "Your turn. Try and control your strength to tap the bell and not blow it off" She moves to the side, making way for you to go to the front of the game.

"Okay" You breath out and shake the nervousness out of your hands. You crouch down slowly before reaching out your hand and tapping the surface ever so lightly. So lightly in fact, you barely felt the hard rubber grazing your finger tip.

You watched, breath held, as the piece of metal shoots up the markers and finally clangs against the bell before shooting right back down.

You let out a big sigh of relief at doing something right and not breaking the game. "Did you see that? I think I have pretty good control, don't ya think" You turn back to Hope, a smile lighting up your face.

"Maybe so" She nods, a hint of a smile twitching at the corners of her own lips.

She leads you guys away from the wide eyed man who's practically frozen on the spot, passing all the rides. "Hey, why don't we go on some? You know, instead of testing we could have some fun, maybe bond?" You ask, wanting to have a bit of fun. You haven't been to a carnival since you we're a little kid and you're starting to feel the adrenaline rush of what it feels like being at one.

"And before you say 'no', just think about it. I doubt you've ever been to a carnival before, and they can be so fun if you remove that glare from your face" you point out in the middle of her opening her mouth.

There's a long pause. "...Fine" She basically grumbles. You're right, she's never been to a carnival before.

And that's how you guys find yourselves on the ferris wheel. You're stopped at the top, the view being amazing. "Look at how tiny everyone else is" You say. "Mhm" she says, not really paying attention You gaze down and then turn to Hope. Only to notice that she in fact was not looking at the view and instead her eyes are locked on you.

"Hey! Earth to Hope. You good?" You ask, waving your hand in front of her face. Her eyes snap up to yours which immediately makes you pull your hand away, smile fading from your face.

"Wait a second, are you starting to warm up to me, Mrs. Mikaelson" You smirk, jokingly, hoping that it wont backfire. All you want to do is get her into a good mood. She's been all doom and loom recently.

And even though she has no humanity and killed you, you still care for her and notice when she seems not the 'healthy' amount of careless.

All she does is scoff, but her eyes have different ideas when travelling down to your lips. She can't help herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against your soft ones.

It takes you a moment before snapping out of the shock before kissing her back. The kiss lasts longer than anyone would think between a newly turned heretic and a humanity-less tribrid.

"Not a word of this. To anyone" She says, as if some of her humanity was slipping through. She pulls away from the kiss, surprised at herself for letting her damn 'emotions' getting in the way of her revenge plan.

"Nah, you definitely like me. Even with your cold, no humanity heart. i have proof" You taunt, smiling and tap your finger against her chest overtop her heart. Hope roles her eyes before pulling you back in for a kiss.

A pretty good way to shut you up, might you add.

[eddiesghxst]

perv loser eddie is something that can actually be so personal. it’s in the way he’s such a loser borderline obsessed little stalker.

i’m not quite sure how to put this into words but he is whipped, the true definition. yes he loves you, blah blah blah. let’s go deeper into that love. it’s psycho, when he sees you for the first time his heart bursts, he follows you around in the halls when you’re in school even tho you don’t know him and he doesn’t even know you. you think it’s a weird coincidence that he’s always there. And when you confront him, his knees literally almost drop to the ground in your presence. when you go see him during a hellfire club session, he stops all d&d when he sees you wait outside the closed door. he ignores all protests from the guys that this is a huge campaign, one HE’S been planning. it doesn’t even matter, he would end all d&d sessions 15 minutes early if you asked him to, he’d cancel a session if you slipped him a note before saying you’d be home with no panties on, he’d forget to tell dustin that he had to blow him off because you needed him to take you out to a new chick flick movie.

like i said previously about the inspiration from an ex thing, i love the way cigarette smoke smells. my ex was a smoker and he knew this and it was “our thing”

i think eddie would be majorly turned on if he found this out. i’m not talking about something odd like this ex of mine would blow smoke in my face or whatever but i’m just saying it was a comforting smell. i’m currently out of the country in europe where everyone smokes and i can smell it drifting up to my apartment window. i can just imagine calling eddie who’s back in indiana and telling him how horny you are, how the smell reminds you of him. he’s such a fucking loser tho. he’s been desperate since you’ve been away, having withdrawals, he’s an addict. he fucks himself to sleep with his hand every night and fucks himself awake every morning trying to get some release, his flesh light and hand won’t ever compare. he smokes and plays guitar and thinks of you, each exhale of smoke and he gets anxious thinking about you.

but when you’re back, he doesn’t let you out of the trailer for a good 24 hrs. his only plan is to smoke with you and fuck your brains out. i mean fucking like a madman. he’s fucking his anger and stress out on you, stress about you being away from his side, anger that you’ve been touching yourself away from him. i’m not talking 2 orgasms and you’re done. we’re talking about several upon several chain orgasms he’s bringing you. he wants you sobbing, he never wants you to leave his side.

he’s a loser.

- 🫶 anon (i went overboard)

no bc ur so right stink. everything abt this is so fucking correct, i’m sick to my stomach i want him

————

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, eddie has no spine when it comes to his girl. meaning, he will drop everything he’s doing to please you or do whatever you ask for, no matter the request (if he’s in a mood, he might bitch about it a little, but he will bitch and get the job done okay).

so when you ask eddie if he can pick you up from the airport on the day he’s planned to have dnd, obviously eddie pushes his campaign back because hello, his girl needs a ride.

he’s waiting for you at your terminal with a single rose and a cute little teddy bear and you giggle when you see him because he looks so out of place wearing his usual black leather clothing and heavy chains whilst holding the soft items.

you tell him all about your trip on your way to his trailer, telling him about your time sightseeing and trying new foods and meeting new people.

you’re still rambling about your trip when you walk into his trailer, but it doesn’t last long before eddie’s got you bent over the edge of his bed, clinging to the soft teddy bear and moaning his name. “fuck, i missed this pussy. did she miss me? she miss how good i fuck her, hm?” he pants against your ear. you quiver beneath him, crying out for him as you push back against his hips.

“feels so good, eddie. gonna cum, please can i cum?”

and eddie’s shaking his head and clicking his tongue, “no i don’t think so, sweetheart. i gave you one rule—- told you no touching and you broke that rule.“ he says, low with a patronizing tone and you sob into his sheets as a chorus of sorry’s leave your mouth.

“so you don’t get to cum until i say you can, okay? and i plan on really taking my time with this precious cunt of yours since she seemed to miss me so much.” his hand cracks down on your ass cheek and you cry out as he lets out a satisfied hum.

and eddie kept true to his word, he didn’t let up until he was thoroughly satisfied and you were nothing but a cock drunk mess. you both wouldn’t have it any other way <3

————

more loser perv!eddie ♡

[joelmillers-whore]

Hard Light | Chapter 1

summary: when a new english professor begins teaching your class for the duration of your semester, you can’t help but develop an innocent crush on him. he’s as off-limits as he can be, but that doesn’t deter you in the slightest. after a drunk night, you accidentally email him something that wasn’t intended to ever be seen by anyone. but that doesn’t matter. it triggers a misunderstanding that manifests into an affair with your professor who is twenty years your senior. nothing good could come of this, right? 

pairings: professor!joel x college student!reader

word count: 2.2K

series or one-shot

warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, no mention of Y/N, alternate universe, professor/student relationship, eventual smut, self-esteem issues, workaholic, joel x female!reader, infatuation bordering on obsession (stay delulu friends), some sexual thoughts, masturbation (f), joel being a huge tease lol, (will add more tags as i write)

AN: i am so excited by the response that my joel one-shot got a few days ago and i’ve been itching to get something else out to you all. big, giant forehead kisses for those who want one, i love you all. so, anyway, a mini-series about professor joel is coming at you fast. i’ve written the first few chapters, so expect those in the near future. i’m thinking once a week? this fic is going to be something else and i’m so excited to share it with ya’ll. enjoy, and let me know what you think. find my ao3 here for more content and other fandoms.

You were running late for your shift at the coffee shop on campus, rummaging around your dresser, trying to find the low-cut black top you always wore when you had a shift. You weren’t usually one to feed into the peer pressure of those around you, but push came to shove when you found it nearly impossible to keep yourself afloat as a twenty-something student without the added extra tips from your part-time job.

So what if you had to show a little bit of cleavage? Right? There was no harm. Student loans were a bitch and on top of rent and food costs, you had to get a job at the coffee shop and balance a full course load just to make ends meet. 

A thought popped into your head and you rushed to your laptop, throwing it open as you checked the time; 5:45 AM. If you busted out your lightning-fast typing skills, you would have enough time to catch the next bus and make it to campus with five minutes to spare. If only your crappy second-hand computer would work.

The thing honestly sounded like a chopper engine, getting ready for lift-off. You were surprised you’d gotten this far with it. Not that you weren’t appreciative, your older brother had passed it down and it had relieved a huge weight—  and expense off of your shoulders. 

You tabbed into your school portal, typing in your credentials and selecting your English course. You sighed heavily, as you skimmed over the assignment for this week, something to do with a sonnet that you couldn’t care less about. You loved school but ever since becoming an English major, the spark that you once had for literature sort of just evaporated.

You couldn’t tell if it was because of how busy you were with everything else that you just couldn’t find the time to enjoy it, or the thought that really scared you, you had fallen out of love with it. 

It had been two years of go, go, go and you were, for lack of a better word, burnt out. You’d tried dropping courses last semester, thinking that you just needed a little bit of ease when it came to your course load, but when that didn’t solve the problem and only made things worse for you, you spent the last two semesters trying to catch up and get yourself to a place where you could finally breathe.

But it wasn’t easy. You were only now caught up to where you had been, the illusion that you were someone who could afford to take time off and slow down was a distant memory. 

In bold letters, the words Paid Internship jumped off of the screen. You smiled as you leaned in closer to the screen, making sure you read through everything correctly. This was the break above the surface that you needed, the reprieve that you had been chasing. A paid internship was exactly how you’d be able to make more money and maybe have a little breathing room before you worked yourself into an early grave.

You clicked the mail icon at the top and clicked into a new email, deciding that the worst-case scenario was that you wouldn’t get the internship. All you were doing was inquiring about the application process. Best-case scenario; you’d get it and make some extra pocket money. 

You saw the time, cursing under your breath as you slammed the laptop closed, grabbed your phone out of the charger and ran out of the door. You couldn’t be late, not again. You texted your co-worker Jeremy to open the shop without you and explained to him that you were running a few minutes late, as you barely made it to the bus. You climbed on board, scanned your student pass and found a seat near the back. Your chest was burning from the rush of trying to make it on time, but you could breathe easy now.

You checked your messages mindlessly, scrolling through a bunch of unread ones that you didn’t have the heart to answer. 

Before you knew it, the familiar monuments and buildings of UT Austin came into view, and the subtle change of scenery from downtown to a more densely packed area made your heart skip a beat. It was the same each time you were back on campus. Which, these days, was often. Sliding out of the seat, you made your way to the front, thanking the driver as the bus came to a complete stop. 

The coffee shop was only a short walk from the bus stop but even still you quickened your pace. You didn't want to leave Jeremy alone for long, you already felt bad enough about letting him open by himself. You stifled a yawn as you pushed open the door to the small cafe, leaning your body into the door, slightly cringing at the shrill sound of the bell. 

"There you are", a male voice called, making your head snap up. You wiggled your nose, the familiar timbre of your ex-boyfriend's voice ringing in your ears. "It's about time you got your ass down here". 

You snickered, shrugging your heavy bag off of your shoulder, and dropping it behind the counter, turning around and greeting him with an unamused smirk.

Jeremy and you had gone out for a few months last year, it was your first and, as of right now, the only short-term relationship that you'd had in college. 

Dating your co-worker, even in a relatively small place like the coffee shop on campus, almost always spelled trouble, but Jeremy was not the type to hold something like a failed relationship over your head. He understood that school was a priority for you and making a living for yourself came first, even above something like a relationship. It might not be the healthiest way to live, but it was how it always was. 

Jeremy and you had developed a fast friendship, one that went beyond the romantic relationship that you'd had last year. You parted amicably and now, you had someone you could confide in, someone you could trust. 

"Why don't you say that to my face?", you teased, raising a brow at him over the milk frother you were setting up. 

Jeremy threw his rag down and stalked over to you. "You're snippy this morning", he chided. 

You banged into his shoulder playfully, "Doesn't help that I have to see your ugly mug first thing in the morning". 

You snorted out a laugh and Jeremy looked at you, feigning defensiveness, "Ouch", he paused, returning back to his post near the coffee machine, "Remind me how we ever went out?". 

You scrunched your nose and threw your rag at Jeremy, hitting him square in the face with it, "That was rude". 

He shrugged his shoulder, "You started it".  

You both devolved into a fit of giggles and fell into a comfortable silence, setting up and getting the coffee shop ready for the day. You had a half-day shift to look forward to and then you had class until the late afternoon. The days were long and the nights were longer.

You usually found yourself nose-deep in your textbooks, more often than not, or some classic novel that was required for class, not moving from the couch until your eyes were red and you were seeing double. 

Only then did you retire to sleep, crashing hard until you had to wake up and do it all again the next day. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The coffee shop had been bustling with people since six in the morning, and at one in the afternoon, it hadn't let up, only now you had to go to class. Waving Jeremy goodbye, you sidestepped Tara, the fourth-year who was covering the rest of the afternoon and closing shift. 

You'd crossed the far side of campus, passing by the science building and one of the massive libraries that had acted like a second home to you back when you’d been studying for exams when you were a freshman. You could thank your obnoxious roommates for that one. 

Entering the lecture hall, bodies pressed into you as you weaved through the growing crowd, trying to find a spot in the middle where you could see and hear your English professor. But also blend in with the masses. As if the universe had other plans in mind, and everyone suddenly showed up to the Tuesday lecture all at the same time, you found yourself picking a seat near the front, an exasperated groan leaving you. 

You hated sitting at the front, not because you didn't want to get called on to answer something or because you didn't know the answers, but because you did. You wanted to get through your four years as quickly and unscathed as possible and if people knew, mainly professors, that you knew more about the subject matter than you needed to, you'd surely get called on more often, making you stick out in ways you didn't want. 

It was a terrible curse, going through life with the self-esteem that you did. But it was how you were raised. Blend in. Don't be too loud. Be quiet and only observe. Nerves rapped at your insides when you thought about getting called on when class started. Your heart rate ticked up and you found that your hands were beginning to get clammy, your throat constricting with each breath.

You rubbed your hands up and down your thighs, grounding yourself with the sensation of the material. 

With a jump, you sat up straighter in your seat, being jostled from your thoughts by a loud slam. You snapped your head toward the entrance, eying the person who had startled everyone. It was a man carrying a briefcase.

Your lips tilted up at the edges, amusement tickling you when you thought of anyone using a briefcase nowadays. But here this man was, head down as he made his way to the front of the room, toward the desk. 

You couldn't help keeping your eyes trained on him. On how his slacks tightened around his butt, moulding to the shape and curve of it. You bit your bottom lip out of reflex, your eyes dragging down the length of the mystery man who had crashed your lecture. Maybe he was a TA? Your brows furrowed when you thought about how your professor was nowhere in sight. 

The man with the briefcase placed his case on the desk, turning to face the audience of students who blinked back at him, who now settled down enough to hear him speak. Air caught in your throat when his eyes flicked momentarily to you, and lingered on you for half a second longer than you'd expected. He had massive, warm brown eyes, and soft wrinkles that danced at the edges of his eyes when he smiled, making him seem more boyish than he appeared.

He looked older than a TA would but then again, who were you to judge someone's position in life? You thought that his age did nothing to undermine just how attractive he was, if anything it added to it.  

The man, who may or may not have been moonlighting as your English TA cleared his throat, nodding his head, "My name is Joel, well, Professor Miller to most, but 've always been a little bit more informal than my peers". 

He began to circle the wooden desk nervously, his large hand finding the edge of it and stroking it far more sensually than necessary. You flexed your fingers, gripping the arm of your seat to stabilize yourself. "So, you can call me Joel from here on out... since we'll be seeing more of each other from now on". 

Murmurs began to break out around the lecture hall, and confused and hushed whispers followed. 

Professor Miller— Joel, mumbled something incoherent, and you were unable to hear it from where you sat. He cleared his throat again, "Professor McCarthy has taken a leave of absence, so I'll be filling in for him for the remainder of the semester". 

You crossed your legs, feeling heat rise and a furious blush break out across your face, and shuffled in your seat, a loud creak emitted from it and you stilled, praying that the loud sound had only been heard by you and no one else. But when you lifted your gaze, Joel's eyes were already locked on you, blown and brimming with cautious inquiry. A touch of a smirk graced his lips. 

"And I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you, personally". His eyes were still on you, not ready to release you from their hold. 

His tongue darted out to wet his lips and you couldn't help but stare. You had every reason to look away from him, he was your professor and given the clear age difference, he was someone who was off limits. But when he didn't look away from you either, trapping you with his gaze, your face heated up, suddenly aware that he was purposely staring at you. 

You swallowed thickly, heart hammering as Joel's eyes finally drifted away from you and back to the faces of your classmates. He continued on with addressing the class, and you noticed that he avoided your eyes for the rest of the lecture. 

Only one thought rang through your mind as you tried and failed to focus back on the lecture. This was going to be one long semester. 

[megalony]

This Is Fate- Part 3

This is the newest part in my Dark! Evan Buckley series, I hope you all like it, feedback is always amazing.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @gillybear17 @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz

@5hundreddaysofsummer @soryuwifeyxx @targaryenluvs

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary: Eddie is surprised when his little sister comes to LA and asks to stay with him. She needs a fresh start, a break away from everything back home, and her ex. When she meets the team, Evan takes a special interest in her.

Enjoy.

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*2 missed calls. *4 unread messages.

Oh dear. It was starting again. (Y/n) could feel her breakfast crawling up the back of her throat as she stared down at her phone, chewing on her nail out of nervous habit.

It was okay. Everything was okay. This wasn't the same as it was before. She wasn't getting fifteen messages every hour and five to ten missed calls like she did when she tried to ghost Evan and move on from him.

She didn't want to read his messages, but something in her gut told her she had to. Ignoring them wouldn't make them go away and ignoring Evan wouldn't make him stop. He knew where she was. He knew she was pregnant and he was worming his way back into her life. What good would ignoring him do now?

When she first broke things off with him, Evan pretended she hadn't said anything. He called and messaged as if they were still a loving couple. But then he began getting anxious. He followed her, he tracked where she was going. He got angry when she started to ignore him and he wouldn't stop. He wouldn't leave her alone.

He turned up outside her old job, outside Chrissy's house. When she changed her number he somehow found out her new one and spammed her with messages and calls.

He told her he loved her and she couldn't throw that away. He had been desperate to find someone to connect with and settle down with like the rest of his friends. Evan wanted what life didn't seem to give him and once he found (Y/n), he knew she was the girl he wanted to be with. It didn't matter to him what he had to do to keep her, as long as she was his.

And now she was pregnant, she always would be.

She knew she couldn't avoid him or ignore him forever, especially not for very long before he would come to find her and talk to her in person. She may as well take the plunge and read the messages she had gotten this morning.

Slumping her bag down on the table, (Y/n) flopped into a seat and dragged her free hand through her hair.

She was suddenly glad she had turned up to her first shift at the call centre ten minutes early.

*Morning, how are my girls today? XX

Missed Call.

*Please don't tell me you're ignoring me (Y/n). Especially not after the fun we had the other day.

*I want to see you, will you come over to mine for coffee tomorrow after my shift? Please.

Missed Call.

*(Y/n) you were the one who said we need to talk about this, that's what I want. You're here in LA, I'm back here for good and back at work. And I know you don't want to do this alone, I want to be involved, this is my baby too. Just let me know.

A shiver crawled down (Y/n)'s spine and she turned off her phone and dropped her head down onto her folded arms on the table.

He was right. As manic as he was starting to sound in those texts, he was right. They needed to talk, they had to work things out and decide what they were going to do and where they were going from this point onwards.

But (Y/n) didn't want to go round and talk with Evan if it was going to end up how things ended last week.

She didn't want to end up in bed with him.

It would be a better idea to meet for a drink in a cafe, somewhere public where Evan would have a hard time dragging (Y/n) to bed or clinging to her and never letting her go. Staying at his place sounded dangerous.

Once, when they had been in a heated argument, Evan had locked his apartment door back when he lived near Chrissy and he hid the keys. He effectively locked (Y/n) in his home and wouldn't let her leave. It didn't matter how scared he made her or how she cried and begged him to let her go so they could both cool off.

He told her in no uncertain terms that he 'knew she was going to leave and he wasn't letting it happen'. He wouldn't lose another girlfriend, someone he felt a big connection to. He wasn't going to let (Y/n) walk out and leave him.

She had to stay with Evan for two days in his apartment until he cooled down and apologised. (Y/n) couldn't do that again. Not when she was pregnant and knew this would rile up the dark side of Evan that she never wanted to see again.

She lifted her head off her arms when her phone vibrated on the table. Another message.

*Oh, and enjoy your first day at work. XX

How did he know she was starting a new job today? How did Evan know this was her first day? How did he even know she had a job lined up?

Had Eddie told him? Did Eddie tell him where she was working, or just briefly mention in conversation that she had a job now?

Maybe Chris told him. Chris was happy that (Y/n) had a job because it meant she was permanently staying here with them. He knew she wasn't going to go home or leave LA if she had a job here and that was what Chris wanted. He wanted his family all here with him. He wanted (Y/n) to stay and be here with him and Eddie.

As long as he didn't know where she worked or started to come round and wait for her after work like he used to.

When she met Evan, he wasn't at work, he was on sick leave because of the surgeries he needed for his leg. That was why he left LA for a while and when he met (Y/n). He had a lot of time on his hands and mixed with his anxiety, it made him obsessive. He knew what days she was working without (Y/n) having to tell him. He waited around for her after work to walk her home and wouldn't leave.

Evan messaged her and if she didn't reply, the messages became more demanding, more crippling and concerning and frightening.

He wouldn't let go, he wouldn't relent and he wouldn't stop stop overwhelming her.

"Oh, hi. You must be the new starter."

(Y/n) looked up from her phone and did her best to smile when she looked at who walked into the break room.

She looked a little older than (Y/n), with long chocolate brown hair that reached her shoulders and kind dark eyes that creased at the corners when she smiled. Rings dotted her fingers and two necklaces hung round her neck dangling beneath her maroon shirt with the dispatch logo in the corner.

"Hi, yeah I'm (Y/n)." She put her phone in her bag and shuffled her chair further under the table as she tried to sit up straight.

"I'm Maddie, lovely to meet you." She took a seat at the table and when they shook hands, (Y/n) felt herself starting to relax.

Maybe she was going to make some new friends here. She didn't have many friends in her last job. And (Y/n) knew she wasn't going to be working here for long before she went off on maternity leave. She wasn't sure if that was going to screw with trying to make friends and get along with colleagues here.

(Y/n) just wanted a fresh start with her family in LA and she had to make the most of it because Evan was here too. He wasn't going to make this the new start she wanted, this fresh start was going to include him whether (Y/n) liked it or not.

"So, where did you work before here?"

"A few different places, really… I used to live in Texas."

She watched something wash over Maddie's face, whether it was recognition or surprise she couldn't be sure. But it made her eyes crinkle and her cheeks puffed out as she grinned softly. It was as if they had been friends for months rather than just meeting and somehow, (Y/n) felt like she already knew the woman sitting beside her.

"Oh, (Y/n), you know I thought I recognised you. You're Eddie's sister, right? Buck said you were starting work here, it's lovely to meet someone else connected to the team."

"You know the 118?" She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer or not.

She could feel all the blood draining down to her toes and her head started to swim. Another person connected to the famous station. The station where her brother worked and her ex- was he really her ex after last week- was the golden boy who could do no wrong.

Everyone loved Evan. (Y/n) loved Evan, but why did she have to be the only one who saw the dark side of him?

"Oh I know them very well. Buck's my little brother and I'm sort of, dating Chimney." She smiled and leaned her head to one side, but her words felt like rocks settling in the pit of (Y/n)'s stomach.

This was Evan's sister.

This was the girl who raised him, the one he thought of as more of a mother than a sister. His guardian angel.

She worked at the call centre. (Y/n) was going to be working alongside Evan's big sister. Evan was going to be able to find out what shifts she was working, just like he managed back home. He would know if something happened at work or if she tried to sneak off to an appointment without telling him. Every movement she made, Evan was going to find out. Again.

Nothing was going to change. (Y/n) wanted this baby to change things. Since seeing Evan again, she prayed that maybe their daughter would switch his attitude. She hoped their girl would curb his actions and calm him down and make him relaxed and less anxious. If his obsessive behaviour dwindled down (Y/n) would be able to try and make their relationship work.

But if she worked alongside his sister, how was anything going to change if Evan started asking questions? If he started his old behaviour up again, (Y/n) had no chance of working things out with him.

"Are you okay? You look a little flushed." Maddie reached across the table and rested her hand on (Y/n)'s arm.

"First day jitters." (Y/n) could barely hear herself speak and she knew her voice was wavering and rather unconvincing, but she couldn't risk giving anything away. She couldn't say she was panicked that now Evan would know everything about her.

She couldn't say that Maddie's brother who she clearly thought the world of was someone who (Y/n) both loved and felt terrified of at the same time.

(Y/n) pushed her chair back and reached down to pick up her bag, but she stopped when Maddie took a sharp breath and her smile turned brighter when she looked down at (Y/n)'s stomach.

"Do you want some water?"

She was already up out of her seat before (Y/n) had chance to answer. (Y/n) slowly got up and followed Maddie over to the counter where the tea and coffee machines were and she tried to smile when Maddie handed her a bottled water from the fridge.

"How far along are you, five months?" She nodded her head towards (Y/n)'s stomach before she added "I used to be a nurse." But (Y/n) already knew that. She had heard Evan talk a lot about his big sister. She should have guessed when Maddie said her name that this might be the sister Evan was always going on about.

"Twenty-one weeks." (Y/n) looked down and danced her hand across her stomach but the touch made her shiver. All she could think about and imagine was the way Evan barely let go of her stomach whenever he came close the other day.

Finding out they were having a girl just made everything more real and made Evan unable to look away from her or let her go.

"Buck didn't mention it, congratulations. I bet your family and partner are thrilled."

"Overjoyed." (Y/n) mumbled quietly because it was the truth.

Her brother and nephew and Evan were overjoyed with the baby and knowing (Y/n) was having a little girl. But it wasn't going to last long when (Y/n) told their parents and when she eventually had to come clean to Eddie about Evan's involvement in all of this.

Finding her phone in her pocket, (Y/n) fished it out and clicked on Evan's contact.

*Tomorrow after your shift works for me. Let's talk.

***

"Do you want a drink?"

(Y/n) took a moment to steady her nerves and look around the apartment while she nodded. It was cosy.

The kitchen was what (Y/n) expected. Lots of plates and cups scattered about rather than placed in the cupboards. Notes, papers and what she guessed were recipes flowing from one of the top drawers for easy access. Evan had a scattered mind, he was always doing something and switching from one thing to the next.

He got sidetracked putting things away and it seemed easier leaving clean cups on the side so he could grab them in a hurry and have papers scattered around the apartment in case he needed them. She could see books fluttered about the apartment too which proved he couldn't stick to one story at a time. Too many train of thoughts and not enough tracks in his mind.

She leaned against the kitchen counter and tried to smile when Evan handed over a cup of iced tea.

She wanted to shiver away from his touch when his hand found her lower back between her hips, but she couldn't. (Y/n) stayed relaxed and kept her tight smile on her lips when Evan motioned towards the living room on the other side of the apartment.

"How was work?" Evan took a long sip of his drink and sank down into the sofa, smiling around the rim of his glass when (Y/n) sat next to him. He thought she would have gone to sit on the armchair across from him to keep some distance between them.

To feel her knees touching his and have their arms brushing together made him feel relaxed. And having her close enough to see and feel each breath she took was calming.

Sometimes when he wasn't around her, Evan felt like an addict getting desperate for his next fix. He couldn't describe the high he felt when he was around (Y/n) and he never wanted it to stop.

"Strange… being on the other end of the line is so weird but it's easy to stay calm, like it's not even real. Did Eddie tell you I was starting there?" (Y/n) tried to keep her tone calm and stay friendly.

The last thing (Y/n) wanted was to come here and start a fight or an argument with Evan. They were here to talk, they had to straighten things out and make this odd relationship morph into something they could both work with. Things had to change and they had to get their stories straight.

(Y/n) needed to know what Evan was planning and what he wanted to do. She needed to know what she could say to Eddie and how to tell him Evan was her ex. Without causing waves and ruining their friendship or causing mayhem for her brother at work.

"Yeah, he's happy you're sticking around."

"If I keep working there, you have to promise me you're not going to use Maddie as a way to check up on me."

"If you answer my calls then I won't have to-"

"No, no Evan please. I can't do this again, okay? I can't have you turning up at work or getting info on me from your sister. I'm not ignoring you, I have no way of doing that, you know I can't pretend you're not here. So let me have the call centre, let me do that."

She needed her work to be her own. It needed to be her place where she could work and escape and do what she needed to do. Without Evan checking in or asking Maddie how she was or what she was doing or what days she was working. He needed to leave her work alone and not use his sister as a bridge to get to (Y/n) and find out information about her.

(Y/n) couldn't ignore Evan, she had no way of doing that when they both lived so close by and their connections were now forever intertwined.

"Agreed. What's your plan then, hm? You were gonna have my baby and not even tell me, but now I know. What's the plan now?"

Evan scratched the back of his neck and leaned across to place his glass down on the coffee table. It hurt. His heart was blistered and scorched and crumbling into pieces, knowing that if Eddie lived in a different city, if (Y/n) decided to go home to her parents, if Evan didn't get his job back here in LA, he wouldn't know.

He wouldn't have a clue that he was going to be a dad. He would of found out eventually, through Eddie. By then, Evan could have missed the birth of hia daughter. He wouldn't be on the birth certificate, he would have missed out on so much and (Y/n) would have done this without him.

But he knew now.

He was here, he knew and he was involved. So they needed to work out these next steps together and sort this out.

"I don't know." She took a large swig of her drink, downing half the iced tea that Evan had added extra sugar into, knowing she had a sweet tooth. "I told Eddie I was here to get away from my ex, I don't know what he will say or do if I tell him that ex is you."

(Y/n) winced and sank her teeth down into her lower lip when Evan visibly tensed up and his jaw locked tight.

She didn't mean to hurt him, but this wasn't all her fault. Evan's actions were the reason they were in this mess. His tendancies and his controlling, anxious, dark side was why they were tangled up and corrupted.

Eddie wouldn't take it lightly if (Y/n) said his best friend was her frightening ex who wouldn't leave her alone. How could they move forward after this? How could Eddie work with Evan, knowing what he was like when he was around (Y/n)? How could he look past that? How could (Y/n) try and raise this baby with him?

"We need to tell him."

"Evan I can't-"

"What's the alternative? Baby I'm sorry to say it but he's gonna find out sooner or later. I want to be there when you go into labour, I want to be on the birth certificate and you think Eddie won't guess when that happens? Or when I come over to see her or want to look after her and you?"

Placing her glass down on the table, (Y/n) allowed herself to sink back into the sofa and slouch down. Her legs stretched out and bumped into the coffee table while her eyes closed and her hands moved to cradle her stomach.

This was exactly what she needed to sort out. (Y/n) couldn't keep having restless, sleepless nights worrying about this.

She was sick and tired of being scared. Scared of Evan. Scared of telling Eddie. Scared of getting Chris excited and getting his hopes up and then crushing them if Evan got even worse.

She couldn't live her life smothered by Evan. His texts, his calls, his demands, his obsessive nature. The unhealthy way he attached himself to her and never wanted to let her go, never wanted her to see her friends or family. Never wanted her out of his sight. He was going to be the same with their daughter. He was going to want her all the time, want to know where she is and what she's doing and keep her within his sights.

He was always going to fret that (Y/n) was going to run off with their daughter and take her from him.

"Then… then we have to work this out before we tell him." (Y/n) flopped her head to the right and looked across at Evan.

There was something so sweet in his sky blue eyes that looked like the purest ocean (Y/n) had ever seen. There was a loving, gentle look that made her feel like she was the only person worth looking at; the only person in his world. And when he smiled and leaned his head on his hand with his elbow resting o the back of the sofa, Evan looked so casual and serene like he was posing for a picture.

He had his other hand resting on his thigh and his knees drawn up on the sofa, nudging into her thigh. It was like they were playing a game or going out on a date rather than stuck in a tangled web of lies and obsession.

"If I can trust you and you don't, you don't get manic, then we can try and talk to Eddie and try do this together, somehow."

"Baby, you already know you can trust me. I wanna do this with you, properly."

(Y/n) rolled her lips together and closed her eyes when Evan leaned across the small distance between them. She thought he was going to kiss her, but he ducked down and tucked his face into her neck instead. She could feel his breaths tickling the side of her neck and his ruby red lips hovering over her pulse like he was deciding whether or not to bite down.

His arm curved across the top of her stomach, anchoring himself to her with his chest pressing down on her left arm and shoulder. And his leg hooked over hers, pinning his knee between her thighs like he was about to climb on top of her and pin her down.

She waited. Seconds ticked by but Evan didn't move. He didn't say anything. He stayed attached to her like that was where he belonged and all he did was breathe against her neck. He didn't bite down or kiss his way up or down her skin like he had done before.

"Evan, I- I left for a reason-"

"And you've already let me back in. You can't stay away from me either, so why bother?"

(Y/n) knew why to bother. She knew what the point was. Leaving Evan was to prove to herself that his actions weren't normal and to prove to Evan that he couldn't carry on the way he was and think it was okay.

But she had no energy to fight him off. She knew coming round here was a risk and she knew what Evan wanted.

(Y/n) wanted to try and sort this out and co-parent, but Evan wanted a relationship again. He wanted to carry on as before. If he could try and adapt, if he could curb his manic behaviour and at least try to calm down in this relationship, (Y/n) was willing to try.

She didn't have any other choice. Evan wasn't going to let her go. He wasn't going to let her get into another relationship and leave him behind. He wouldn't have her being with someone else and raise his daughter with another person. He wouldn't lose out on the family he had wanted for so long.

So why fight him? Why fight when she had walked away and he had found her without trying? This just proved she couldn't walk away from him and when a very big part of (Y/n) still loved Evan more than anyone else she'd ever been with, she couldn't leave now.

A sigh tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips and she closed her eyes again, letting Evan nudge her back until she was laid out on the sofa with him on top of her. She curved her arms around his neck and pressed her nose and lips down into his hair, breathing in his scent. She felt his right hand worm up her back until he was cupping the back of her neck while his left hand slipped beneath her shirt to rest on her stomach.

She let her eyes fall closed and breathed in his scent, listening to the sound of his heartbeat lulling along with hers. Giving in to the familiar, comforting feel of Evan laying beside her, cramped up on the sofa.

And when (Y/n) let her mind wander, she tried to pretend she was back home with Chrissy. Back when Evan had been the best thing in the world. Before he turned everything upside down.

***

Evan opened his eyes when he heard a quiet but familiar sound buzzing somewhere nearby.

He tilted his head to the right and cracked his neck back into place, wincing at the sting it sent down his spine and through his shoulders. He glanced his tired eyes around and let his lips form into a grin when he realised he was still at home, laid on the sofa.

He had his head tucked into (Y/n)'s neck, his back wedged up against the back of the sofa with (Y/n) laid up into his chest. And one leg was draped across her thighs with the other hanging off the side of the sofa. Evan stayed nuzzled into her skin, listening to her soft breaths and the feel of her hand resting at the nape of his neck.

This was how Evan had been praying to wake up ever since he came back home to LA. He had been biding his time, trying to find the right time to take leave from work and head back down to see (Y/n). He knew they needed space. But all Evan wanted was to feel her wrapped up in his arms and know she couldn't get over him like how he couldn't- and wouldn't- let himself get over her.

He smiled softly into her skin and kissed her neck before he heard that familiar buzzing sound again.

It was a phone.

His left arm felt numb and sluggish but he forced his hand to slide out beneath (Y/n)'s shirt and leave her stomach he had been cradling in his sleep. He trailed his hand down (Y/n)'s hip and curved his fingers into her side pocket. The good thing about maternity clothes was the pockets.

Evan was careful when he prized her phone out of her pocket so it wouldn't wake her and he could see why it was going off.

Eddie was calling.

Evan lifted his eyes up to (Y/n)'s face. Her eyes were closed, her lips were lump and lightly parted, but her breaths were slow and even. She was still asleep. She always slept better when Evan was with her and he had always known that.

Evan let his head slump back down onto (Y/n)'s chest and he nudged her collar where it had started to slide off her shoulder. It was a little too big and baggy for her but it allowed Evan a perfect view of the top of her cleavage. He delicately peppered kisses against her chest while he clicked the side button on her phone to decline the call.

It was getting late. Eddie was a worrier, no matter what he tried to tell people. They all knew he panicked.

Swiping across her phone, Evan tried his luck with her old password and grinned, grazing his teeth against her skin when it worked.

He scrolled through to Eddie's messages, keeping his face tucked up into (Y/n)'s skin as he began typing. Once the message was done and sent, Evan slid her phone into his back pocket and closed his eyes again, tightening his arms around her until it felt like they were going to merge into one person.

*Hey, I'm with Maddie from work, don't know what time I'll be back. I'm fine, I'll see you later. XX

Tilting his head down, Evan nudged his chin against the collar of (Y/n)'s shirt and nudged it down to reveal more of her cleavage to his eyes. His nose brushed against her skin as he started peppering kisses across her chest, working his way down.

But he stopped abruptly when he head a knock at the door, followed by a key turning in the lock.

The only people with a key were Maddie because she was round so often, and Bobby in case of emergencies.

A groan burned at the back of his throat but he stayed quiet and pushed his weight onto his hands either side of (Y/n)'s shoulders. He pushed up and manoeuvred over her, leaning down to kiss her stomach and straighten out her shirt before he stretched and jogged towards the door.

"Hey, you would not believe the kind of calls we got at work today, some of them were, you know, so-" Maddie bustled into the apartment, slugging her bag down on the kitchen side as she advanced towards the fridge.

A smile played on her lips but when she glanced over her shoulder, she abruptly stopped talking when she looked at her brother. Evan had his brows arched and his finger pressed to his lips to try and silence her. She pursed her lips and paused, halfway to grabbing the bottle of wine she had put in Evan's fridge last week for when she came round to have a drink with him.

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" She lowered her tone and looked across to see what Evan was now pointing at in the living room.

She stepped away from the fridge and took a few cautious steps towards her brother. But when she leaned around him and looked at the sofa, her eyes narrowed and she looked up at him with perplexion in her eyes.

"That's (Y/n), Eddie's sister. What's she doing here?"

Evan folded his arms across his his chest and let his eyes linger on (Y/n) for a few more seconds before he finally dragged his eyes away to look down at Maddie.

"We're friends, I've known her for a while." When he dragged his fingers across his jaw and smiled in that all-knowing way, he watched his sister's jaw drop and her shoulders tensed.

She moved back towards the kitchen, dragging Evan with her so they could talk without the risk of waking (Y/n). Maddie leaned her hips back against the counter and folded her arms across her chest as she stared up at her brother in that motherly way that always got him to talk and open up whether he wanted to or not.

"Just friends? I know that look in your eyes, Buck. What's going on?" She waited impatiently for an answer but Evan just reached behind him to lean against the sink and smiled.

If Maddie figured out what was going on here, then she would get and feel much closer to (Y/n). They would become friends, Maddie would become as much of a sister to (Y/n) as she was to Evan. She would take (Y/n) under her wing and keep an eye on her at work for Evan.

He wanted the pair of them to get along, he wanted them to be close because they were going to be family now. And with Maddie on his side and in his corner, things would change. (Y/n) would realise that this is what they all wanted and needed. She could be with Evan, here in LA. She could work with his sister and get to know his team that her brother was already a part of.

Evan could have the family he wanted and so desperately needed. He could have a partner and a child and create a family at work with the people he loved. Everything that everyone else had, Evan was finally going to get. He would be like the rest of the team.

He would have what he always dreamed of and he would create the family he wanted. (Y/n) was here. She was giving him that family. She was the girl of his dreams and now they were having a daughter.

"Buck, are you involved with her?" Maddie could feel her nerves bleeding through into her voice.

She had talked to (Y/n) at work yesterday, they seemed to get along. But (Y/n) didn't say anything about being good friends with Evan. And she hadn't mentioned anything about having a partner and Maddie didn't want to ask in case it was a sore subject or not something she wanted to divulge on their first day together.

"I guess you could say that. Listen, don't tell anyone, please? Eddie doesn't know yet, and (Y/n) doesn't want to complicate things at work."

"Alright, but you are telling me everything later, got it?" Maddie pointed her finger at her brother but her smile and the way she sighed gave away that she wasn't going to tell anyone.

She would keep her lips sealed and wait for Evan to give her the gossip later and fill her in on what was going on.

If Evan told her first, (Y/n) wouldn't have chance. She wouldn't be able to spin the same story to Maddie that she had to Eddie. She wouldn't be able to influence Evan's sister and turn her against him like she had probably done to Eddie when he finds out Evan was the baby's father. Evan needed to control this situation and set everything right because this is the family he wanted, the one he needed and nothing was going to ruin this for them.

This is what they wanted. What Evan wanted.

[procyonloser]

"You fucking kidding me right now?!" Adam yelled, dropping his bags, though his guitar case stayed firmly in hand.

Across the front of his van, someone had painted the word, CHEATER, and that was just the first offense he'd noticed. They'd keyed up the paint job, which was a super fucking awesome duochrome that shifted from gold to orange to purple - fucking ruined now. On the side were a litany of worse insults, saying he had a small dick, that he was a man whore, that he was a shitty musician.

He knew who'd done it, and he wasn't even fucking dating the bitch. She was just a groupie he'd fucked a few times on the road; yeah, he'd fucked a few other girls, so what?

"I'm so going to take you to court, you stupid cunt." Adam hissed to himself, getting in the driver's side. But, the van wouldn't start at all. It wouldn't even try to turn over. It just did nothing. She must have fucked with the engine too.

Which left Adam standing on the sidewalk, fuming, as he waited for an Uber to show up. He didn't even fucking live here! He was just on tour! People all over wanted to hear him play, or they would after they heard him at least!

An unremarkable car pulled up along side him, and the passenger window rolled down, and a blond man in the driver's seat leaned over to smile up at him. "Need some h-"

"Fucking finally!" Adam complained, getting a startled look in return. "I've been waiting for you for like twenty goddamn minutes." Adam waved his Uber app at the man, and told him the code.

"Please, get in. I'm Lucky, by the way." The man said with a wide smile. "I have water in the back, if you'd like."

Adam was still fuming, but he tossed his stuff in the back seat, grabbing out a water bottle and jumping into the passenger seat. Yeah, he knew ubers didn't like that, but he didn't do back seats. He was always in front.

He chugged the water, and crushed the bottle, before tossing it out the window.

"Charming," Lucky said, in not so subtle distaste.

"Fuck you, you don't know the night I've had. Some cunt ruined my van, my gig went shitty, cus the bar was like, no you're supposed to pay me. Like shit I'm doing that. Fucking pussies. Chick run, obviously. Can't do anything right." Adam huffed, reaching down to adjust the seat, pushing himself back and getting a bit more leg room. "So suck a dick and just take me to my hotel, shorty."

"Sure," Lucky said, barely even blinking at the insults.

Adam closed his eyes, and began to feel increasingly drowsy. Well, he'd had a long night. "Wake me up when we get there," he mumbled, before sleep took him.

Adam woke up to a not so gentle slap across the face. He startled upwards, eyes wide, finding himself unable to move. He was restrained, cuffs around his hands and legs, and he was entirely nude.

"W...what the fuck? Where am I?" Adam whispered, horror setting in. He'd woken up with some hard 4s before, after getting drunk, but nothing like this.

"Morning," a voice called, and Adam looked up to find the cabby sitting beside him, smiling brightly.

"...Lucky?" Adam asked in confusion.

"Oh, my name is actually Sam, but the news calls me Lucifer." He reached down, caressing Adam's cheek with heavy lidded eyes, not caring that Adam tried to jerk back and away from him.

"I'm a serial killer, sweetheart. And from what I can see, no one particularly likes you, your girlfriend dumped you, your car was ruined, your band is a joke... It would make sense that you'd just...go missing? Wouldn't it?"

Adam's blood went cold, horror began to set in, even though he wanted to scream and shout and curse the man. He tried pulling on his cuffs, but nothing budged. His attention was drawn back to Lucifer as he pulled out a very sharp looking ritualistic knife.

"W- wait, wait! I can...I can help you!" Adam got out, and Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I can help you! I don't like people either! So, I'm not going to say anything about this, you know, I could even tell you about...I don't know, people alone in bars and shit!" Adam tried to persuade him, but he knew it sounded more like begging. "I can...I can be useful, I promise."

Lucifer hummed to himself, appraising him. "You'll be a good boy for me?"

Adam swallowed hard, nodding his head. For some stupid fucking reason, he started to get slightly hard from that.

"Maybe I'll think about it," Lucifer said, but Adam's relief didn't last. "But I can't have you getting away in the meantime. I need to clip your wings."

[jadequeen88]

As someone who has worked many different service industry jobs, I obviously have lots of thots about line cook! Eddie. Let me elaborate:

Eddie is the one cook who keeps all the other younger hooligans in line. Did they make a rude comment about your skirt riding up while you’re picking up a drink someone spilled? Spatula to the back of the head. They need to learn to treat these hard-working girls with some respect. One of them wolf whistles? Eddie pinches their ear, looks at you apologetically, and says, “Sorry, sweetheart. This one here is barely housebroken. Doesn’t know how to act around pretty ladies.”

He’s also definitely the one all the servers have a crush on. He’s the topic of many smoke break discussions. You didn’t even smoke until you worked there, just wanting an excuse to bat your lashes and bum cigarettes off him. One night, he grinned as he took a long drag and let the smoke curl out, saying he was smoking his last one, but you could have a hit off it if you wanted. Instead of taking it from him, you wrapped your lips around the filter as he was still holding it. Watching his pupils widen and seeing him lick his lips in response was a big payoff for such a risky move. 

The other servers start getting jealous of your special treatment, but Eddie really doesn’t give a fuck, and as long as your boss is happy with your work, you’re fine with it too. Sometimes he moves your ticket to the front of the queue if it’s a really busy night and the other girls have been giving you a hard time. You shake your head in weak protest, but Eddie just says, “I gotta give my favorite girl the red carpet treatment every now and then, don’t I? You work so hard, darlin’. I gotta do my part to help you keep those bastards out there happy. Keeps that tip money coming in for ya’.” He gives you a wink as he twirls his spatula and gets to work, leaving you a blushing mess. 

Up to this point, you thought it was just Eddie being a flirt because you were the new girl, but the night you see him with one of the particularly annoying cooks pinned against the wall by his throat for calling you a “dumb bitch”, you start to suspect your crush might not be as one-sided as you’d originally thought. Afterward, he walked up to you and asked if you were okay. The gentle caress he placed against your cheek made your lashes flutter before you could stop yourself. “Y-yeah, Eddie. Thanks.” His thumb brushed along your cheekbone, and he graced you with the lopsided smile you loved before pulling away to say, “No one talks about my favorite girl that way.” You were in a daze the rest of your shift. 

A couple of nights after that interaction, you stay late to wrap all the silverware and cut all the lemons. You knew the other servers left those time-consuming tasks for you as a punishment, but you refused to neglect to do them and put the opening shift in a bind. Even if it was fucked up of them to do that to you in the first place. You realized after a few minutes that someone else was there deep cleaning the grill. You nearly dropped a whole container of freshly cut lemons when you heard whoever it was singing along to one of your favorite songs you’d been silently head-banging along to as you worked. 

The soulful delivery of this mystery man’s singing had you weak in the knees, and it only got worse when you peeked around the corner to see that big voice coming out of Eddie’s mouth. His eyes were closed, bandana-clad head thrown back, as he scraped the grease off the grill and sang his heart out. He must have sensed you standing there, because he turned towards you and jumped a little, those pretty chocolate orbs widening. It was kind of adorable. 

“Shit, sweetheart! Didn’t know I had company, or I’d have kept my wailing to a minimum!” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. How dare he have the nerve to look embarrassed when all you could think about was getting on your knees and under that apron after hearing his voice?

“Eddie, that was…” your voice cracked a little. You cleared your throat and continued. “That was amazing. I love that song, by the way. Not many people here listen to them. You do it justice.”

He turned red and couldn’t meet your eyes, a rare way for the bold man to behave. You liked this side of him. “I do okay, I guess, but I’m better on guitar than vocals.” It seemed to dawn on him that you revealed that you had a similar taste in music then because he perked up and met your gaze again. “Wait, you listen to this kind of stuff?” You nodded and grinned at his sudden switch in tone. “Damn, I didn’t know you could get any more badass!” You laughed at that. “You know,” he continued and cleared his throat. “I’m in a band. We do okay. Decent crowds. We play Tuesday and Friday nights down at the Hideout.”

That’s how you end up at a dive bar the following Friday night, front row cheering Eddie on as he shreds on stage. Afterward, he grabs you up into a sweaty hug, spinning you around. “That’s the best I’ve ever played, baby.” Your heart fluttered. He hasn’t used that pet name before… “You gotta come to every show now and be my good luck charm!” You giggled and agreed. Like you’d ever turn down that offer. 

The flirting amps up at work after that. Eddie yelling out, “There she is! Light of my life, goddess incarnate! How’s your day going, sweetness?” from behind the grill becomes a daily thing. “‘M doing fine, Eddie. How about you?” You always answer. You know what he’s going to say before his mouth even opens, but it gives you butterflies every time. “Million times better now I’ve seen you! Now go out there, kick-ass, and get those tips!”

Things come to a head one night when you’re dealing with a table of Hawkin’s “elite,” the rich boys that thought being born on the right side of the tracks made them special. It didn’t help that their table was in view of Eddie’s workstation. He had a front-row seat to the show, watching them flirt with you, and you have to put up with it, having to smile through it. When the loudest one slipped you his phone number, Eddie couldn’t take it. You heard a clatter and saw a flash of dark curls exit through the back. “What’s going on?” You asked one of the other guys. They all shrugged and looked at each other, just as lost as you were. 

You walk out back and see Eddie leaning against the rough brick wall lighting his second cigarette. He jolts upright when he sees it’s you. “Oh, hey sweetheart. Need to bum one?” He holds the carton towards you, and you can’t help but notice his sad eyes. 

“No, Eds. Can I just have a drag off yours?” 

“Course darlin’,” he mumbles around his cigarette before holding it out to you. He just expects you to let him hold it for you by now. It doesn’t mean it makes his chest ache with want any less, though. 

“What’s the matter, Eds?” You ask sweetly. It embarrasses him that he’s so weak for you. 

“Nothin' to worry about. Promise.” He tries to smile, but he knows you can see right through him. 

You had a feeling it had to do with the asshole trying to give you his number earlier, but you’re still a little nervous to address it and get rejected. So you take a deep breath, brace yourself, and ask, “Was it because that guy gave me his number?”

Eddie couldn’t meet your eyes, “Am I that obvious, sweetheart?” he sighed and looked up to the star-speckled sky overhead, “Some days, I wanna come clean so you’ll reject me already. Put myself outta this misery. But I always chicken out,” he turned to you with misty eyes, “I'm a coward, you know? I’d rather have little pieces of you than nothing at all.”

He barely finished his speech before your hands found his stubbled cheeks, and your mouth was on his. Eddie tasted how you’d imagined he would, the cigarette you shared and cherry chapstick. His eyes closed and he sighed sweetly. It was pure heaven. You pulled away and he smiled bigger than you’d ever seen.

“You silly man,” you whispered, nudging his nose with yours, “All you had to do was ask me out and I’d have said yes.”

“All this time?!” he said, eyes bulging and voice going high.

“Yes! All this time,” you responded. Now it was his turn to initiate a kiss, this one more consuming than the last, his tongue barely swiping your bottom lip. You whined under his touch, making him turn desperate.

“Baby, we gotta revisit this in a couple of hours. Just so I know that I'm not hallucinating.”

“You got it, Eds,” you bit your lip and pulled away from him to go back inside to finish your shift. Before the door closed behind you, you could hear Eddie whooping and cheering in celebration. Needless to say, as soon as you were both clocked out that night, you never kept your hands off each other again.

NOTE: Thanks to everyone on the discord server for fueling this madness. I’d love to revisit this and write an actual fic with smutty goodness. So everyone, let me know what you think!!

@trashmouth-richie @munson-blurbs @pinkrelish @eddiemunsonsmum @courtingchaos @corroded-hellfire @chestylarouxx

[gureumz]

if only you knew (that i can see you)

rating: explicit

member: jay

premise: you're enhypen's new manager and it's palpable how instantly this one member takes a liking to you. you're adamant about keeping things professional but he's very persuasive.

notes: fem!reader, dom!jay, slightly dubious consent, dirty talk, mentions of vomiting, unprotected sex, clothed sex, creampie, a quickie (but a very hot one imo), office romance-ish (?), mentions of drinking, lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: fourth of my 1k follower special! oh, writer's block is a bitch. one whole month of nothing and i churn this out in one night. big, big apologies if i've become rusty over the past month, but i couldn't get this story out of my head. also, title is by from madame swift's 'i can see you'. please enjoy!

you feel like throwing up. right this minute, right at this very second.

you're fully convinced that you're about to hurl all over your pristine brand-new sneakers, spewing chunks of this morning's breakfast (a single cup of iced coffee) on the company's shiny, newly-waxed floor.

you're moments away from it, you can feel something catch in your throat. this is it, you know this is it. goodbye to your new job, your company benefits, goodbye to this godforsaken earth—

"sorry, are you lost?"

you whip around, eyes wide. towering over you is a man, sharp-featured, lean, and unbelievably handsome.

you swallow, trying to find an answer to give.

"i'm the new assistant manager. sejin-sunbaenim told me to come straight to dance practice room 2," you manage to say with as minimal tremor as you can. the man raises both eyebrows.

"oh, it's you," the handsome stranger says, bowing. "you're ______."

you nod, chest loosening at the sound of your name. so you're in the right place, after all. one less thing to worry about.

"that's me," you confirm, bowing back.

"cool. i'm jay," the man responds with an easy smile. he reaches out and you grasp his hand in yours.

oh, he's so warm.

"i...know," you mumble out, chuckling nervously.

jay grins. he drops your hand, motioning to the door behind you.

"sejin-nim is inside. so are the others," jay informs, reaching over for the door handle. you sidestep, and for a moment, you feel like a nervous bunny, jumping all over the place and flinching at the slightest sound.

in your defense, the last thing you want is to cross any boundaries on your first day.

jay smiles at you again, pulling the door open. "after you."

you blink, momentarily distracted by the dimple on his cheek. you quickly regain your bearings, smiling sheepishly as you step into the room.

you're quickly whisked into a flurry of introductions. each enhypen member seems equally excited, or at least pleased, to meet you. they shake your hand, bow, and greet you with bright, boyish smiles.

you're dazed by the end of it all, but at least you're not thinking about throwing up anymore.

"you have the calendar i shared with you, right?" sejin, your superior, asks after the members have difted off, busying themselves with warm-ups.

you recall the zoom conference you had with sejin a week ago, how you pored over every phone number, email, and address pertinent to your job as enhypen's new manager.

"yes," you answer.

"everything's there. all orange tasks are mine, and all blue ones are kyungjun's. he's not here now, but you'll meet him probably tomorrow. you can pick another color for your tasks in the mean time," sejin explains.

"i'll email you every morning with things i need help with and you can add those to the calendar afterward," he continues. "for today, i just want you to shadow me to see what a typical day looks like for us."

you nod along, occasionally glancing at your phone, the managers' calendar flashed on your screen.

you ignore the way your heart drops when you see the stacks of orange and blue piled on each tile.

as if reading your thoughts, sejin chuckles beside you. "it may look like a lot, but the boys make it easier. they're total professionals."

you laugh along, turning back to the group. your eyes immediately settle on jay who's quick to catch your gaze.

he smiles and you smile back.

---

"________-nim! how was your first day?"

you look up from your phone, momentarily abandoning the email you were composing, an inquiry sejin assigned you to send to a local media franchise. you were on your fifth reread.

you realize with a start that it's jay.

he sets a large paper bag down on the table. you're late to notice the drink carrier he has in his other hand.

"well, however it went, i got you a drink and dinner to commemorate your first day," jay adds, taking one out of the two drinks from the carrier. he slides the cup towards you and your cheeks immediately heat up.

"you didn't have to," you say, laughing nervously. "you're too kind, jay."

jay beams at this. he pushes the paper bag towards you as well.

"this is from all the members," jay informs. "as thanks for working hard today."

before you can reply, jay bows briefly before waving goodbye and walking away.

you stare at the paper bag for a few moments, a weird flutter taking over your body.

---

jay is...strange.

or, at least, you think he's been acting strange.

it's only been a little over a month since your first day. it was easy for you to fall into a routine, seeing as the group is in between promotions. a photoshoot every other day, a pre-recording once a week, dance practice every day after dinner. the most stress you've had so far was when you forgot to phone the van driver about a change in schedule, leaving you and half the members stranded at a certain broadcast station.

jay had comforted you then, as you were near tears. he laid a hand on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing against your sweater in an attempt to soothe you.

"it happens," jay had said. you didn't even notice his hand had moved from your arm down to the small of your back.

"you're doing great," he added before withdrawing his hand.

you thought about that moment the whole night. how warm his touch was, how gentle he handled your near-breakdown.

he was your responsibility and yet jay was the one that came to your rescue.

you went out on your first official team dinner a few days after that, with the whole managerial team present along with the members. sejin recommended a quaint, yet highly-acclaimed restaurant off one of the side streets around the company.

jay had squeezed in beside you at the table, so close you can feel his body heat radiating off him. a few times his knees knocked against yours but neither of you acted like you noticed.

it was then the first inkling of suspicion rose in you.

could jay be...?

surely not. he was just being nice. he's the literal definition of a gentleman. it's just the way jay is.

of course. it's totally in his character to bring you coffee almost every day. it's normal that he rushes to open every door you walk through. there's definitely nothing weird about him gifting you an expensive box of chocolates for completing your first month on the job.

he's not flirting with you. that would be silly.

you sigh, shaking off these thoughts as you approach the small practice booth at the end of the hall. you can hear the sound of a guitar from the inside.

"jay?" you call out, knuckles knocking against the glass door. the guitar stops.

"yeah?" comes a muffled voice from inside. you slowly push the door open, peeking your head in.

jay is seated in front of the computer, his electric guitar cradled in his arms. he's sporting a loose white shirt and black joggers. his hair is unstyled, black tresses falling over his eyes. he brushes it back with his fingers.

"you have a recording like—," you pause, checking your watch. "right now."

jay gives a start, checking his phone. he groans, setting his guitar down on its stand.

"right," he mutters under his breath. he sighs, rising up from his seat.

you watch as he stretches, the bottom of his shirt riding up to reveal the top of his boxers peeking out from his pants. you catch a glimpse of a very thin sliver of skin.

you try your best to ignore that.

"you better hurry before the producer kicks both of our asses," you urge lightly, crossing your arms. you've been trying to be more assertive with the members lately, seeing as you've already had enough time to know more about them and how they're supposed to be spending their days under your supervision.

"yes ma'am," jay replies, approaching you. you step out of the doorway to let him pass.

he doesn't move for a few seconds and you peer up at him with a questioning look on your face.

"can i ask you something?" jay blurts out, shoving his hands in his pockets.

you glance around to make sure no one is nearby. you have a feeling he's about to ask something that's a little less appropriate for work.

"are you single?"

you nearly choke on your own spit. you had a sense of what he was going to ask, but you never expected him to be this direct.

"may i know why you're asking?" you reply, treading carefully. one wrong move and you can end up dismissed from this long-coveted job of yours.

jay shrugs. "just curious."

you chew on your lip, contemplating how to go about his question. you let out a breath, deciding that there's no harm in being truthful.

"i am," you confirm.

jay nods. "same."

you quirk an eyebrow at this. cocking your head to the side, you ask, "really? how come?"

"i'm sure you see how busy we are," jay counters with a smirk.

it's your turn to shrug. "that doesn't stop jake from texting that girl from—"

"you know about that?!" jay cuts in, his voice dropping to a whisper.

you snicker, shaking your head.

"i know a lot of things, jay. i'm with you guys almost every waking hour of the day," you inform.

jay looks at you with an unreadable expression. something between fear and confusion. it makes you giggle.

"i technically should take it up with HR and higher management, but the other managers and i agreed that until you guys decide to go sneaking off on late-night dates, we'll keep it under wraps."

jay's mouth hangs open, still in disbelief.

"so, if you're planning on taking some girl out, you better let me know," you say, giving jay a pointed look.

jay's expression changes then as he ducks his head to avoid your eyes.

"not gonna happen," he says.

jay gives you a curt nod and smile before pushing past you out into the hallway.

---

you and jay don't talk about that night.

you know that he knows that you know the reason he asked about the state of your love life. he definitely did it on purpose to open up the discussion.

you're determined to squash the notion before it develops further.

you're not doing it to be mean. you'd never want to hurt jay on purpose. but you have a job to do and a reputation to keep.

jay knows that. he should know that.

you get the impression that even if he did, he doesn't care. not when he's sauntering over to you now, a bag of food and an iced coffee in his hands.

"mind if i join you?" jay asks, already sliding into the seat across you. there's barely any other people in the hybe cafeteria but a nervous chill still runs up your spine.

this is nothing. just a friendly lunch between a manager and her member.

"you didn't leave me much choice," you say with a laugh.

jay shrugs, winking at you playfully. you quickly avert your eyes. better to not say anything.

"i like your outfit today," jay compliments, taking a sip of his coffee.

you glance down at yourself. you're in a plain, short-sleeved blouse, white and a little sheer. you paired it with comfortable black corduroy pants and sneakers.

nothing special. to you, at least.

you had to feign ignorance on the way jay had stared at you the whole morning while you were in a meeting.

"thank you," you reply curtly, taking a bite of your kimbap.

"i'm taking you guys home tonight." you quickly revert to another subject.

"kyungjun-sunbaenim has to attend to other things so he assigned me to make sure all of you get home safe and in one piece for today."

jay nods. "got it."

"you guys don't have anything scheduled after 11 so i expect all of you to be at the lobby by that time," you add.

you can feel jay staring as you continue to pick at your food. you fight the urge to look up.

"will do," he finally says.

---

"do you need me to walk you guys up?"

you lean out of the passenger side window, watching as the members file out of the vans in front of their apartment building. thankfully, they all heeded your word, showing up at the lobby at 11:05, ready to head home for the day.

as if to prove that the heavens were on your side, the ride home was awfully quiet, too, which was a surprise considering that it was jay, jake, and sunghoon that decided to ride along with you.

jungwon shakes his head to your question, walking up to your side of the van.

"we're good, _______-noona," jungwon says. "you get home safe, though!"

riki nods along, skipping up to you. "yeah, or else jay hyung is g—"

the youngest is cut off with a sharp elbow to his ribs by jay. riki splutters out in disbelief, complaining, but he's herded off by sunoo.

"good night," jay calls out over his shoulder, waving at you.

you wave back, observing as the boys enter the building, finally letting yourself relax as the last of them disappear through the doors.

---

a vibration jolts against your cheek and you gasp as you're ripped right out of your deep slumber.

you realize in your sleep-hazed mind that it's your phone that woke you up, ringing incessantly. you must have fallen asleep with your face against it.

you press the 'answer' button, the faint beginnings of irritability creeping up your chest.

"hello?" you say, voice sharp.

"_______-noona? i'm so sorry for waking you if you were sleeping, but i didn't know who else to call. we're sorry but we went out to drink after you dropped us off and jay hyung had a little more alcohol than he could handle."

the voice rambles on and it takes you a second to remember who it belongs to.

"jungwon? where are you? who's with you?"

a short pause. you hear the faint sound of a voice, rapidly complaining. you think it's sunoo.

"we took a cab back to our apartment but jay hyung won't get up so we're out here on the front steps," jungwon explains.

"he's just too heavy for sunoo-hyung and i while he's in this state, and the rest of the hyungs are already passed out upstairs," he adds.

you press a hand on your forehead. this can't be happening right now.

a million thoughts run through your head but you will them to quiet down, focusing instead at the task at hand.

"how about riki?" you ask.

"nothing is going to wake him up now, noona," jungwon says, exasperated.

"please, we're not in the—hic—best state, either," jungwon continues. you can still hear sunoo in the background.

you fight the urge to groan.

"okay, okay, i'm on my way," you finally say.

---

you practically fly out of the taxi, not even bothering to wait for your change. you see three figures at the front of the building and you immediately recognize them as jay, sunoo, and jungwon.

"what the hell, jay?" you ask, rushing over. sunoo and jungwon have resigned themselves to sitting on both sides of jay's sprawled figure on the stairs.

jay is on his side, hands tucked under his head as if sleeping on the most comfortable bed instead of rough concrete.

"we tried," sunoo says with a pout. his eyes are glassy, but his speech seems fine. probably tipsy, you think.

"i can carry him just fine," jungwon speaks up. his speech is definitely slurred. "but that's when he's conscious and when i'm not drunk off three bottles of soju."

"jesus christ," you say under your breath.

"okay, i'll grab from under his arms, sunoo you grab his legs, and jungwon, support his torso and that big fat ass of his," you instruct, positioning yourself at jay's head.

jay giggles suddenly, eyes blinking open slowly.

"you think my ass is fat?" jay asks, barely comprehensible with how drunk he is.

"shut up," you respond, huffing. you tuck your hands at his armpits, hooking your arms through.

sunoo and jungwon follow suit.

carrying a nearly six-foot-tall man weighing more than what you can deadlift in the rare times you're at the gym was exactly as difficult as you expected, even with additional help.

it took the three of you ten whole minutes to haul jay towards the elevator and about fifteen to get him down the hall to their unit.

only god knows where the apartment's security guard is amidst all this.

"just a little more," you pant as you combine your efforts to drag jay towards his shared bedroom with jake.

you kick the door open as you heave all your might into getting jay across the threshold.

the room's empty. jake's probably in heeseung's room.

your legs give out before you can get jay to his bed. sunoo and jungwon fall to their knees as well, all three of you breathing heavily from the effort.

"i need to throw up," jungwon declares, dashing out of the room.

"i need...," sunoo pauses, a hand held up as if to silence you, despite you not having said a word.

"i need water and an aspirin," sunoo finally says, stumbling out of the room as well.

he's gracious enough to close the door behind him.

you get up, feeling around for a bedside lamp, muttering a soft 'yes' when you finally feel a switch between your fingers. you turn the lamp on, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow.

you turn to see jay's slumped figure, his back resting on the foot of one of the beds. you approach quietly, kneeling down next to him.

"you're such an idiot," you whisper, brushing back some of the damp hair away from jay's forehead. "who told you to get this drunk?"

"no one," jay responds. you nearly jump, not expecting jay to be lucid at this point in time.

"you know i'm gonna have to tell the other managers about this," you softly berate jay, tugging off his jacket. he giggles, holding his hands over his chest.

"why are you undressing me? do you wanna fuck me or something?" jay asks in his drunken stupor.

you roll your eyes. "no, stupid, i'm making sure you're as comfortable as you can be while in this state."

"liar," jay counters. "you so wanna fuck me."

"i could report you for inappropriate behavior," you reply quietly, throwing jay's jacket to the side. you reach for the topmost buttons of his polo.

"see? you're getting me naked," jay continues, reaching out to take ahold of your wrist.

you stop to look up and you realize that jay has his eyes open, pupils focused on you. his grip tightens around your wrist as he pulls you closer.

"you know right?" jay asks.

your first instinct is to feign innocence, to ask him what he's talking about.

but you do know.

"you're drunk, jay," you supply rather simply. "we'll talk tomorrow."

jay smiles, reaching out to cup one side of your face. you freeze, letting jay's thumb run along your cheekbone before traveling down to your lips. he traces the curves of your mouth, staring intently.

you don't know whether you leaned in or if jay pulled you down, but a moment later, your mouth is against his, a desperate, messy press of lips. he licks right into you, and you can't help the groan that escapes you.

you can't be doing this. this is a clear breach of protocol, this is illegal, even.

"jay," you whisper against his lips. "jay, please."

jay pauses, pulling away slightly. he nuzzles against your cheek, waiting for you to speak.

"we can't keep doing this," you say, prying jay off you. "at least not when you're still drunk."

jay gives you a long, hard look. his eyes are half-lidded as if a step away from sleep. his mouth is parted, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"i'll remember this tomorrow," jay declares.

you sigh, leaning in to peck his lips one last time.

"we'll see."

---

the whole thing blew up in the members' faces. and yours.

you got a good telling-off from sejin, but thankfully nothing reached upper management. the whole group was called into one of the conference rooms the next day and sejin spared no one in his heated scolding. not even riki.

('i was sleeping!' riki had argued. sejin planted his hands firmly on his hips and listed the many different ways ni-ki could have contacted any of the managers to at least inform us of the older members' whereabouts)

you stood very still in the corner, having already received the tamer, abridged version of sejin's speech.

it's been a week now and everything was as normal as it could be, the only difference being that the whole group would be required to have their locations turned on at all times for the next few weeks until management was sure they wouldn't pull another stunt like that again.

oh, and you've been avoiding jay like the plague.

you're thankful that he made no effort in approaching you outside of what was appropriate for work and whenever he did, he'd look anywhere but your face.

it hurt you a bit to see him like this, knowing that he's probably embarrassed with the whole thing. though, you're not quite sure if he's also affected by or if he even remembers the incident in his room.

you're so deep in thought while storming down the hallway, that you nearly run into someone. their firm arms reach out to keep you steady as you try and regain your balance.

you look up and all air is knocked out of your lungs.

"oh, hi jay," you greet, stepping back. your palms clam up as memories of that night the week before flash in your mind.

"hi, ________-noona," he replies.

seconds tick by and no one talks. you know you should say something, anything. an apology, a snarky remark, or a lame excuse to get away. but nothing comes to mind.

"i'm sorry about what happened," jay finally cuts through the silence.

you shake your head, offering him a smile. "we've been over it, jay. quite thoroughly, if by sejin-sunbaenim's standards."

"that's not what i meant," jay continues. he's looking you in the eye.

you gulp, your insides churning.

"that's fine," you begin, keeping your voice as steady as you can. "we can just forget about it."

jay sighs. "i'm not sorry that it happened. i'm sorry that i needed to be drunk to let you know how i was feeling."

you're struck speechless, your brain going haywire. how do you respond to that?

"jay, you know we can't," you deflect, taking another step back. jay follows, standing over you. you feel so small, so vulnerable under his gaze.

"why not? the worst that could happen is you'll be transferred to another artist, another department," jay protests. he takes another step forward.

all you can do is stare down at the floor.

you want it, too. so bad. but you can't risk it. you're not ready, everything's still too uncer—

you feel a pair of hands on your face. you gasp, eyes darting around to see if anyone is in the vicinity.

"j-jay, not here—"

you're pulled forward, jay's strong grip around your arm. he practically drags you to a nearby supply closet, yanking the door open and pushing you in.

worry gnaws away in you as you remember the surveillance cameras in the hallway. those thoughts are immediately pushed away when you feel jay press up against you. you hear him rummage around for a switch, and suddenly, the cramped space is illuminated with dim, yellow lighting.

the closet couldn't be more than a few feet wide both ways, just enough to accommodate two people standing practically on top of each other.

jay grabs your hips and presses himself to your frame. you stifle a gasp as you feel him poking through his pants.

"i want you," jay says lowly, large hands traveling down to your ass. he holds them firmly, squeezing with all his might.

you moan, your hand flying up to your mouth.

"you want me too, right?" jay asks. he slips his hands beneath your denim skirt, a timely choice of clothing for this situation.

you don't know whether to thank or curse the heavens for that particular choice you made.

"we can't—," you begin once more.

jay shuts you up with his mouth, kissing you with so much force it drives you back against the storage shelves. jay cages you between his arms, planting his hands on the wood behind you. he devours your lips as if they were his last meal on earth.

he reaches one hand down, pressing two fingers against your mound. jay groans against your lips when he feels the wetness in your underwear.

"see? you want me, too," jay says, pulling away. he bunches up your skirt around your waist.

"keep it up," jay commands and you oblige, gripping your skirt with shaky hands. you watch as jay unzips his pants, pulling them down along with his underwear, just enough to let his already hard cock spring free.

jay yanks your panties aside, tapping your legs, signaling you to open up. you part your thighs, reaching up to steady yourself on jay.

you yelp when jay pulls one of your legs around his hips, giving him a better angle to slide in. and he does, slipping in so easily between your folds and right into your waiting hole.

"j-jay," you gasp out as he fully sheathes himself within you.

"fuck, you feel amazing," jay compliments, wrapping an arm around your midsection. "already so wet for me."

he pulls you even closer and that's when he starts to move. jay's thrusts are intense, plunging into you fully before pulling back nearly all the way out, and then sinking right back in. your eyes roll back as jay picks up the pace.

"sshh, that's it," jay coos. "we gotta be quiet and we gotta be fast."

you let out a muted whimper, burying your face in jay's chest. soft thuds can be heard as he fucks you against the shelves, your back digging painfully against them, but you can't be bothered to care, not when jay's cock is splitting you open so well.

"still gonna say 'we can't'?" jay says through gritted teeth. you look up to see his forehead creased in concentration, his pupils blown wide. sweat drips down the side of his face.

"god, you look so good like that," jay whispers. "so helpless on my cock. this is what you wanted, right?"

you nod frantically, arms wrapping around jay's neck.

"yeah," you breathe out. "wanted your cock for so long."

jay grunts, throwing his head back. "yes, keep talking to me like that."

his movements quicken and it takes everything in you to fight against the urge to let your knees buckle underneath you.

"please jay," you whimper. "fuck me harder, fuck me the way you've always wanted to fuck me."

"shit," jay mutters.

you're briefly left breathless as you feel your other leg give out, neither of your feet planted on the floor. it takes you a second to realize that jay has scooped you up in his arms, holding you up completely as he continues to ram into you. you wrap your legs tighter around jay.

jay has full control now and all you can do is hang on for dear life.

"yes! jay, yes!" you cry out against his neck. jay pants directly in your ear, fucking you at a speed that's nearly unimaginable to you.

"i-i'm gonna cum," jay manages to get out.

"do it," you quickly answer. jay pulls back to look at you.

you hold his face in your hands, nodding. jay covers your mouth with his as he gives the last of his thrusts, stilling inside you after a while. he presses himself deep within you and you moan against his mouth, feeling him pulse and twitch against your walls.

you cling onto jay for a whole minute before he stumbles back, letting you down on your own two feet. he snaps your underwear back in place, kissing you passionately as he does.

"keep it there for the rest of the day," jay mumbles against your lips, smiling.

you laugh breathlessly, unsure whether it really is jay saying all these things.

you hear a faint buzzing sound and you jump, remembering that you had your phone in your skirt.

well, before jay nearly ripped it off you.

you spot your device on the ground, snatching it up to quickly answer the call.

"hello?"

"_______? have you seen jay?" sejin's voice cuts through the silence inside the closet. you meet jay's eyes and he, too, is perusing his phone.

"no," you lie right between your teeth. "i haven't. why?"

"he has a schedule in a bit and he's not answering any of my calls," sejin says. you're not quite sure if he's worried or irritated. probably both.

"i'll try calling him," you offer. jay grins wolfishly from your side, leaning in to press open-mouthed kisses on your neck.

"great," sejin says. "let me know if you reach him."

you hang up, pocketing your phone.

"you're hot when you're breaking the rules like that," jay says against the column of your throat.

it takes all your willpower to push him away.

"there won't be any rules to break if i get fired," you say matter-of-factly. you lean in to kiss jay square on the lips.

"so you better get your ass out of here before that happens."

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons cause I love this chaotic little family

I’ve seen a lot of people say Ambrosius is a morning person and Bal is a night owl 

And I have to respectfully disagree 

Will Bal pull some all-nighters in the lab? Absolutely 

But this man is the most early bird coded character I’ve ever seen in my entire life 

When he isn't fully invested in a project he can't stay up past 10 pm

He wakes up at 6 am refreshed and barely needs caffeine 

I’ve also seen a lot of people say he’s a dedicated coffee drinker but something about this man screams “Coffee gives me migraines” 

Ambrosius on the other hand 

That’s an insomniac if I’ve ever seen one 

He’ll get ready for bed around 9 and then stay up til 3 in the morning

Poor babe needs coffee in an IV

He used to wake up really early back in the institute cause he was forced to run a mile every minute he was late to class 

And he’s a heavy sleeper so after the wall came down and he quit being a knight he wouldn't wake up before 1 pm even with Bals help 

And Nimona is just as bad 

Most nights Ambrosius will leave the room because he moves a lot when he can’t sleep and Bal is a light sleeper 

He’ll sit in the living room watching tv while trying to sleep and most of the time Nimona will join him 

Every once and a while Bal will find them laying on top of each other on the couch and will take them back to their respective beds 

And if you’re wondering what their favorite show to watch together is it’s those house-flipping shows 

But not for the reason you think

Most people watch those shows cause they think it’s inspiring 

Ambrosius and Nimona talk about how terrible these people are at their jobs  

They’ll go on hour-long rants about how these people are stripping the houses of everything that made them a home

(Ambrosius is a sentimental bitch and would be a maximalist after leaving the institute prove me wrong)

When Nimona is bored she’ll go into the city disguised as Bal or Ambrosius 

And she’ll fool literally everyone it’s a pretty common occurrence for the boys to be at home and then they hear the other swearing like a damn sailor because there are already news articles about it

The only people she can’t fool are Bal and Ambrosius 

Bal will shut them down almost immediately 

They’ll walk over to Bal and won’t even get a word out before Bal says “Shift back Nim you’re freaking me out”

They always make a big deal out of being caught making big decorations like “I’m getting better and one day I’ll fool you” 

And he’ll hum in agreement but he knows that it doesn’t matter how good he gets or how observant he is he’ll be able to fully copy every little detail 

The details that Bal has spent the past decade and a half remembering  

You know the little things like how he can’t say Bal or Nimona’s names without smiling even when he’s pissed

Or how he scrunches his nose when he laughs 

Ambrosius always acts like Nimona tricked him

He’ll let them get comfortable in the character and then he’ll drop the bomb 

Something small and inconspicuous like “Hey Nim do you want pizza for dinner?” and they’ll excitedly proclaim “Hell yeah pizza!” 

It takes them a second to realize they’ve been played and when they do they never make a big deal about it

They normally just mumble a curse or two and walk away with their tail between their legs (literally)

The first time Nimona tried to trick Ambrosius was when he was having one of those days 

You know the days when even breathing feels like a fucking battle

This was in a really awkward period too

Like right after Nimona and Ambrosius started trusting each other but right before they really started to get to know each other 

But she knew the boys well enough to know if Bal came home to a sad Ambrosius then he’d be in a bad mood for the rest of the day 

And she knows that the only thing that can cure a mopey Ambrosius is Bal 

She walked into the room and started talking to Ambrosius and was kind of surprised and a little bit peeved about how well she was fooling him

Until he said “You can drop the act Nim I know it’s you” 

They kind of just sat in that silence for a minute until Nimona said the first thing that came to her mind 

“You want me to find my sax?” 

Bal shouldn’t have been surprised to find Nimona disguised as him serenading Ambrosius with the worst freestyle jazz he’s ever heard (which is saying something)

He didn’t even say anything he just sat down and cuddled the love of his life while watching their kid try and play the sax while breakdancing