#he definitely still went through a lot of harrowing stuff

[chloesimaginationthings]

Gregory has it best out of the new FNAF protagonists..

[leonardalphachurch]

GOOGLE SEARCH: HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DADS REDDIT

Lavernius Tucker and Oliver "North" Dakota are two single fathers forced to brave their most difficult challenge as a dad yet: making small talk with other parents. Not many survive this harrowing ordeal, but the bonds forged through this traumatic experience create lifelong friendships. Or, perhaps, even something more...?

A modern single dads Tucker/North AU written for @rvbrarepairweekdos Day 3: AUs. Warnings for discussions of sex/masturbation, but no actual sexual content.

I don't know why I wrote this, either. I don't even ship this. I suppose the wheel compelled me...

Also avaliable to read on Ao3.

***

“Sooo, uh, what do you… do with your time?"

“Oh, I’m a pediatric dentist.”

“No, I know that, I meant, uh,” This sucked. Tucker had zero things in common with these parents at this School for Gifted Children that had scouted Junior earlier this year. Most of them barely gave him the time of day, but this guy, Oliver Dakota, was insistent on staying the entire time his kid was hung out with Junior. After multiple false starts, Tucker shamefully ducked away for a second to look up ‘HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DADS REDDIT’ and found, “I meant, what do you do with your free time?”

“Oh,” North smiled warmly at the other man, then looked back to the door to Junior’s room. Left open a crack— he would have preferred it to be open all the way, but Lavernius had insisted the kids be given privacy. He seemed like a genuine and nice man, if a little awkward. North appreciated him and Theta being allowed into his home. Still, he wasn’t that interested in talking; compromising on the door meant he needed to keep a closer ear out for if Theta needed him. “I don’t really have much free time. With a kid and work, it’s like two full time jobs. But it’s all worth it for Theta.”

“Right.” God, this guy was giving Tucker nothing. Every single topic went back to Theta. And Tucker loved his kid, but being a single dad meant so much of his life was already dedicated to him. If he was talking to another adult he at least wanted to talk about something adult for once. “You gotta do something with your time, though. You into sports?”

“Haven’t really kept up with any lately. Theta was on the soccer team when they were younger, but we’ve decided to focus on academics in middle school.”

“Okay… Watched any good TV lately?”

“I mostly just catch snippets of whatever cartoon Theta has on.”

“……..Do you play games?”

“Oh, Theta had me join them in playing a little farm game— what’s it called, star, starting… ‘Starting Farming?’ No, no, it’s definitely ‘star’… ‘Starry Farmy?’”

“Stardew Valley?”

“That’s it! Do you play it? It’s very cute.”

“Yeah, uh, not, really my type of game. What about stuff you do without your kid?”

“Ah,” That was kind of a strange question. Most conversations North had with other parents were all about their kids— mostly trying to constantly one up the other’s accomplishments. To ask about things that he did without Theta? Why did he even care about that? “Well, I read alone?"

“Awesome! What are you reading?” Tucker didn’t give a shit about books, but he would grasp onto literally anything this dude was offering.

“Mostly child psychology books. Though lately it’s been a lot YA novels. I try to read things Theta is interested before they do so we can have discussions about them. And to make sure there’s nothing too inappropriate for their age.”

Tucker was stunned. This guy could not be serious. Was everything about his kid? “Don’t you do things with your friends?”

“Ahh,” North’s smile got a little tighter. “We had to move away from my hometown a few years ago; the schools there weren’t great for Theta, and then they got accepted here…”

“You haven’t had friends for years?”

“I have friends.” North was taken aback. What kind of person asked something like that so bluntly?

“But you don’t spend time with them.”

“I… see them often enough. When I visit home. For the holidays.” North didn’t know why he felt so defensive over this.

“Do you…” Tucker hesitated, not wanting to overstep with a guy he barely knew but also fucking floored at what this dude’s life seemed to be, “do anything for yourself that isn’t about your kid?”

North balked. “Of course I do! And, the- this question is flawed. Taking care of Theta is something I do for myself.”

“You can’t just only live for your kid, dude. There’s shit you gotta do without them.”

North twitched a little at the swear word. “There’s nothing I want to do that I would need to exclude Theta from.”

“What about sex?”

“SHHHHH!!” North panickedly looked over at the door, “Lower your voice if you’re talking about that!” He half yelled, half whispered.

“Dude. Does your kid not know about sex yet??” Tucker asked, not lowering his voice even slightly.

“Of course Theta knows what sex is!” North said, still whispering. “Teaching age appropriate sex education is incredibly important to a child’s understanding of their own body and safety. Theta knows exactly what leading child psychologists recommended an 11 year old knowing.”

“Okay.” Jesus Christ. This dude needed help bad.

North frowned. He could feel the judgement coming from Lavernius. Other parents always thought they could butt into situations that didn’t concern them. “I do not need your input on how I take care of my child.”

“I don’t care about how you take care of your kid, man, I care about how you take care of your you.”

“What?” North had no idea what he meant by that.

“Have you had sex a single time since Theta was born?”

“What?!” Seriously, how could he just ask something like that?

“You know what, not even sex. When was the last time you jerked off? Please tell me you’ve had an orgasm in the past decade.”

“This- this is a highly inappropriate conversation to be having with our kids in the other room” North had no idea how they ended up here, but he desperately wanted to move on.

“Not even once?”

“I don’t want Theta to overhear this conversation.”

“They’re playing a game, they’re not gonna hear, trust me. Kids don’t listen to their parents talking even when you want them to, they don’t give a shit what adults say to each other.”

“Theta listens to me.”

“Uh huh.” They needed to move away from the topic of their kids. Tucker needed to help this man. “Listen to me, man. I need you to do something for me.”

“What?”

Tucker grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. Or at least, he tried to. God, this man was way too fucking tall. And actually looking into his eyes— Jesus, they were piercing. Tucker didn’t think this kind of blond hair blue-eyed motherfucker actually existed. Terrifying.

“Tonight, when you go home, once you do whatever weird nighttime ritual you do to put Theta to bed,” Oliver started to make a noise in disagreement but Tucker pushed past it, “I need you to go to your room. I need you to be alone. I need you to get comfortable. And I need you to jack off.”

North had no fucking idea how to respond to that.

“Trust me. I have a friend, his girlfriend died, right? And for like a year afterwards he was so fucking miserable. Until one day I was like, ‘You NEED to blow off some steam, if you know what I mean. Bow chicka bow wow.’ Next day he was like a new man.”

“I don’t. know.“ North thought there were probably some other reasons his friend may have been miserable, there.

“I know, you’ve been out of the game, you don’t know how to find good porn. I got you, I’ll send you some.”

“I wasn’t—“

“I got you.” Tucker was already pulling out his phone, thinking of some good beginner porn he could send Oli’s way. “What are you into? You seem kinda vanilla but sometimes vanilla looking chicks are into the weirdest shit, y’know?”

“That’s— I don’t— this isn’t— I’m. Gay.” That wasn’t really something North tended to share with other parents, but they were so far outside of the kinds of conversations he tended to have anyway, any normal ways to respond had completely left his brain.

“You’re—” Tucker looked him up and down. Huh. Maybe he should’ve been able to guess that. “Uh. That’s fine. I have gay shit I can send you.”

“You have gay shit.” Right. Okay. North was pretty sure he just swore for the first time in years. What the fuck was happening?

“Yeah, y’know, I’m… uh, it doesn’t matter what I am. But I can get whatever you want.”

“Okay.” Okay. North’s brain was starting to catch up to where they were. Was Lavernius… flirting with him? Was this what flirting was now? He was so lost.

He should probably set a boundary.

“I… do not want you to send me porn.”

“Okay,” Tucker said, putting his phone back in his pocket. “You got it handled yourself?”

“Yes, I,” North let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, “I can handle myself.”

“Good. ‘Cause the shit you were saying before was sad, man. I know we barely know each other but, c’mon, single dads gotta have each others backs, right?”

“Yeah, um. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Tucker smiled at him.

North liked his smile.

(continued in reblogs)

[bazeartstuff]

A Cruel God Reigns Stuff

Hello.. this functions as a repaint of sorts. I read Hagio Moto's A Cruel God Reigns more than 4 years ago and it always stuck with me as some of the most harrowing and depressing manga I had ever read... I recently reread it and discovered even more to appreciate about its torturously evil narrative. So much so that I frantically wrote about arguably the most grueling thing to read about... Ian and Jeremy's relationship.. I find that there is unfortunately not much discourse about this manga online, so if you'd like to hear some random person's opinion, then it's attached under the cut.

About the painting itself.. I'm not really too happy with it (what artist is satisfied with their own painting, really..) but I think Jeremy came out very well, which was all I really wanted tbh. I added in Ian and that as a means to try painting him, but I only intended the painting to be a more literal repaint of the older one. I'm happy to say that I've finally figured out how to paint pale people, lmao. And I'm happy that Jeremy looks so corpse-like. I'm happy with his face.

I also used a Gouache brush set I didn't really understand how to use here and I found myself to be very happy with my experiments with it. I will use it more whenever I paint.

Anyway, if you can believe it, more rambles under the cut (the manga discussion).

TW//discussions of SA

Ian and Jeremy's relationship is definitely weird, and not just because of the incestuous undertones but also because of the dynamics at play by the end; I think it's relevant that Jeremy a) seems to love (in the romantic sense, considering how Ian's lips are described as warm to him, as opposed to the cold lips of most) and be affected by Ian and b) also seems to consider sex as punishment. From the beginning of their sexual relationship, Jeremys only rationale for continuing is the belief that he needs to be punished for being a murderer, and Ian is the only one who can do this. And the punishment is sex. Moreover, Jeremy's perspective of love is obviously influenced by the "love" he experienced by Greg; a love that is violence. Because of this, Jeremy is afraid to love others because of his natural aversion to violence. From Jeremy's perspective, he seems to continue the relationship with Ian initially because of this desire for punishment and his underlying desire for Ian. However, upon the closure he seems to receive from visiting Sandra's grave and the discussion on the nature of love he has with Ian, he becomes more open to the idea of being in love with Ian. However, I can't shake off that by nature of their relationship being occasional rather than consistent, there still remains that element of habitual punishment to Jeremy.

This is Jeremy's perspective on the relationship, which I feel is more complex and what makes the relationship itself so difficult to understand. This is obviously in part because Jeremy himself is difficult to understand as a consequence of everything he went through. However, his beliefs about love being vindictive and that sex is punishment are I believe quintessential.

Going to Ian, I think it's a lot easier of a story. Between the two of them, Ian is absolutely reprehensible. As peaceful as the ending seems to depict the two, it's undeniable that Ian is sinister in the way he abuses Jeremy. I can't say that the ending is happy. However, I dont disbelieve that that might be intended; I think the greatness of this manga comes from its portrayals of broken people as imperfect. Healing is not linear, and it is not sensical. Jeremy has assuredly healed, he has gotten better, but this doesn't erase the deep scar that will remain on his perspective on life and his prospective relationships with others. Once again I digress to Jeremy, who genuinely is a very fascinating character. I was supposed to talk about Ian, so I'll say it; he's controlling and takes after Greg in that regard. As rational and reasonable as Ian is, as seemingly open to criticism as he pretends to be, as understanding as he posits to be, ultimately Ian wants things to go his way and he's very much subject to his own impulses. His way is having control over Jeremy and his impulses are his desires for Jeremy (whether it stems from guilt or responsibility, it ultimately becomes irrelevant once Ian's heart is set on Jeremy). This is most emblematic in the final trip he goes on with Jeremy, where he makes an advance despite promising he wouldn't. As a means to justify himself, he believes Jeremy being aroused was essentially a go ahead for him. All he wants is Jeremy to be his own, and he doesn't truly care what Jeremy says in a moment of passion. In this regard, it's undeniable that Ian is an abuser. The countless times that he betrays and hurts Jeremy are stomach churning to read. But what's worse is, despite all this reprehensibility, Ian is not as plainly evil as Greg. It's not power that motivates him or a desire to control. I believe he genuinely loves Jeremy, but his love does not entail respecting Jeremy's agency.  I also think that Ians initial obligation to Jeremy was the idea that he wanted to fix him, which likely stemmed from his denial that anything had happened at all (if he fixes him, then all can be well, and he won't have to come to terms with the broken Jeremy). The entire time where they're "stranded" and basically having sex like rabbits was likely Ian's attempt to force Jeremy to have a regular perspective on sex and love again. But of course, Ian, being the controlling person he is, does it only to satisfy the belief that he's helping rather than truly trying to help Jeremy (because seriously, how is forcing yourself onto a victim of SA helping them?) I really hate Ian, but it's more because he's unfortunately not wholly evil. I realize that I initially implied that Ian was more simple than Jeremy, but upon further consideration, he's probably even more hard to understand than Jeremy because his seemingly good intentions lead to abhorrently abusive outcomes.

This manga has so much going for it in terms of subject matter and discussions, and the two key characters are evidently extremely complex to the extent that having read the manga two times I still find myself pondering. The postulating on love from the perspective of someone whose only known a perverted version of it is fantastic and harrowing. Ian also acts as the perfect example to Jeremy of how violent love seems, considering how often Ian's thoughts and actions turn to violence around Jeremy (and I consider Ian forcing himself onto Jeremy violence too, of course). There's also a whole can of worms with Ian and Jeremy's relationships with their respective mothers, which seems to just be a consistent throughline with Moto's work.

Also, a small consistent detail I enjoyed was how quickly Jeremy is able to lie and cover up the abuse he faced with benign situations. And how this eventually clashes with Ian, who finds it weird that Jeremy lies and takes responsibility when it's his fault (I recall the one time Ian hit Jeremy and Jeremy quickly explained it as an injury from PE, to which Ian immediately denies and says it was him who did It). However, by the end, I think Ian somewhat participates In that instinctual lying (but maybe I misremember). There's a lot to appreciate about the writing. 

If you read this far, and also have opinions, do share! I really liked hearing my friend's first impression upon reading this pretty out-there manga, so...

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 48 of Harrow the Ninth

Ahh, I've missed Gideon POV

At first I thought that the double douchebag comment was about Lyctorhood in general, but then I remembered that Gideon was totally 100% for getting eaten by Harrow. I guess Ianthe is just a double douchebag because Gideon considered both Ianthe and Naberius douchebags, so now they are a double douchebag

Oh Gideon, wanting to kick Crux down the stairs 100% makes you awesome

(Actually, reading it again, I'm not sure if she means "fantasizing about kicking Crux down the stairs doesn't reflect well on me because kicking people down the stairs is bad" or if she means "the fact that I never kicked Crux down the stairs doesn't reflect well on me because I never did it")

But don't worry, Harrow thinks you're great regardless

So like, to what exact degree have the second-person parts of this book actually been through Gideon's perceptions? Or are they Gideon's experience filtered through Harrow's perceptions? Like, if Harrow hallucinated something that was not there, would Gideon have seen and reported it? Earlier Gideon said that she couldn't actually see out of Harrow's eyes during that part, so maybe she was just getting second-hand information from what Harrow saw, or thought she saw, and reporting on it? If seeing Cytherea's body was a hallucination, it does make sense that Gideon wouldn't question it, since she's not used to questioning the things she sees. But, maybe Gideon was actually perceiving stuff herself, somehow, and everything that Harrow reported actually happened, including Cytherea's body under the bed, and Ianthe telling her that stuff didn't happen was just gaslighting? Now I'm not sure anymore

I love everything about this

Oh god, this isn't just a tumblr meme, it's actually a quote from the book

So Mercy ducked out to go kill Harrow, and just never came back, and Harrow left for obvious reasons, and then Augustine left for currently unknown reasons, and then Ianthe abandoned Gideon the First because she's just like that. I hope Gideon the First doesn't die because of this, I've sort of settled on him being maybe the only good Lyctor at this point

So he also came to whatever conclusion Mercy came to based on Gideon's eyes, in a lot less time, and it has something to do with John, and he's also had some thought about Mercy, so maybe he knew she was ducking out to go kill Harrow. Ok. I still don't know what the significance of this is. You know, it is kind of funny how much of this plot is hinging on people's eye colors, because I can't actually tell people's eye color in real life, like I feel at this point that Gideon's eyes must be like broadcasting the bat signal or something for everyone to be reacting to them this quickly. Like, I can see if eyes are light or dark, but are the light eyes blue, or grey, or green? I have zero idea. I don't think I could actually tell unless I went up to someone and stared at them from three inches away, or something. And while I was googling for pictures of what amber eyes actually look like in reality, I remembered that I don't even really know my own eye color, either. I was always told it was hazel, and that's what it says on my driver's license, but then when I joined the Sims 2 fandom like 15 years ago and downloaded some custom hazel eyes thinking I was going to go make some sims with my eye color, those eyes were a completely different color than my eyes, and I learned that by "hazel" people usually mean the kind of eyes that are like partially brown and partially green, whereas my eyes are definitely a single solid color all the way through and if I actually look at the wikipedia page on eye color, they do look most similar to the picture for the amber eyes. But then wikipedia also says this:

which is a pretty good description of my eye color, and I think also a good description of the picture on the wikipedia page for amber eyes. So I've got no idea, honestly. By the way, I can't find any other source online for this statement about hazel sometimes meaning hazelnut-colored, every site I can find seems to use the brown-mixed-with-green definition. The four sources in that image are not about language use with respect to eye color descriptions, or about eye color genetics, they're just miscellaneous eye studies in which eye color was a variable and all four of them divide all possible human eye colors into one of three categories: blue/grey, green/hazel, and brown. I can't read the full articles, but for all I know these references are just meant to mean "some scientists classify eye color this way for simplicity's sake". There's one person on the talk page of the wikipedia article claiming that the definition of hazel = hazelnut-colored is the main one and the brown + green definition is specious, but they seem to be contradicted by the entire internet. So what is hazel? What is amber? What are Gideon's eyes supposed to look like? What color are my eyes? I don't know. I don't know the answers to any of those questions

I am living for the Ianthe/Gideon banter

I appreciate Gideon for this more detailed description of the Cyrus and Valancy nude art that Harrow could not bring herself to give us

Did Gideon get "so many" letters from Harrow? The only ones I remember from Gideon the Ninth were the various snippy notes that Harrow left her after she went to go adventuring in the facility, and after the siphoning challenge, but I'm not sure that qualifies as "so many". Did Harrow write letters to Gideon before they came to Canaan House?

I have to wonder under what circumstances Harrow thought Ianthe might run into Gideon that she gave her this letter. Did she expect this exact thing to happen? I got the feeling at the beginning that she had some other ultimate plan in mind for Gideon besides her sharing Harrow's body. Also, didn't Harrow work very very hard to not achieve One Flesh One End with Gideon?

And of course, the sunglasses will hide Gideon's eyes, for when she goes to talk to John. I would have thought this was part of Harrow's plan, except I'm also like 100% sure that Harrow also has no more idea about what Gideon's eye color means than Ianthe does

No comment

Gideon just cannot resist the that's what she said joke even while clearly having some Big Feelings

I feel like Ianthe thinks she's in a completely different genre of book. She wants to be this clever, aristocratic lady in a fantasy of manners that's full of intrigue and backstabbing and then she falls in love with some dude (or some woman, maybe) and has to keep that from unraveling all of her plans, but instead she's in this gross body horror story where love isn't keeping a lock of someone's hair, it's giving yourself DIY brain surgery in order to prevent the destruction of their immortal soul after they died. I think she does know why Harrow did what she did, though, I think she said so herself in that one chapter we got that was from her POV. She's just trying to stir shit here. But more fool her, I'm pretty sure Gideon already thinks that Harrow removed her memories of her because she hated her, I don't think there's any way that Ianthe could hurt Gideon here that Gideon hasn't already done to herself

I feel like Harrow and Gideon came away with very different impressions of what exactly went down during the Pool Scene

I'm still not entirely sure how right Gideon is about this and how much of it really was just Ianthe trying to use Harrow. And I think it's hilarious that she immediately comes back to "she was a hypocrite for getting upset about the necrophilia"

Is there going to be any love confession in this story that is not completely fucked up?

This is obviously supposed to be some sort of joke, and it was mentioned repeatedly in that "what's the worst joke" poll, but I don't get it at all

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

For the Ghostbur centric au: 3, 8, 11, 13, and 22!!

Did anything inspire this au?

YES I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK THIS YAYAYAY!!! This entire AU would not exist at all if it weren’t for these two things:

I’d Rather Be Alone by Brye

a compilation of tiktoks that got recommended to me on youtube

I know that last one is rather harrowing, but let me explain!

In late June of this year, I was in the car on a long roadtrip, listening to music. I’d Rather Be Alone started playing on shuffle, I believe, and as I listened I was overcome by a particularly vivid scene of Dream and Ghostbur. It was surprising to have such a scene enter my brain because Ghostbur & Dream just aren’t a duo that I think about often lol. But man, it was such a vivid scene!! It was a modern AU, and Dream was shouting at Ghostbur and threatening him while Ghostbur tried to press himself into a wall. Interesting!

That was pretty much where the idea went dry, however; I tried to think of an explanation as to why Ghostbur & Dream were in that situation, but I couldn’t come up with anything satisfactory. I still thought about the scene whenever I listened to I’d Rather Be Alone, but apart from that, I kinda let it drift from my head.

About a month later, I was scrolling youtube and got a pretty strange recommendation: a compilation of tiktoks that young teenagers made about running away from home. I watched a few minutes of it, intrigued but not super interested. Then, all of a sudden, it hit me: a crisp mental image of Ghostbur walking through a dark neighborhood, with a very young Tommy (like, toddler-aged) folllwing him. In my mind, they were running away, but I had no idea why.

THEN. MERE MINUTES LATER. IT HIT ME AGAIN: THE SCENE OF DREAM & GHOSTBUR. GHOSTBUR & TOMMY RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME. WHAT IF… I COMBINED THEM???

As a result, I’ve wound up with this: Ghostbur, Dream, and Tommy are all brothers. Dream is abusive towards Ghostbur. Ghostbur, one day, decides to run away with Tommy. Much more stuff happens and the AU is much more complex than this, but yeah!!

What platonic relationships are important in this au?

Ghostbur and Dream, by far the most important! This has been the most fascinating part of the AU for me, because 1) I’m exploring a relationship that I haven’t thought much about before, and 2) I’m exploring a version of their relationship where they’re brothers. Which is so obscure and strange!! But my gosh it’s been really fun to think about.

Is there any relationship that's different in this au than in the source material?

Again, Dream and Ghostbur! In canon, they definitely are not related in any way lol. I feel pretty confident saying that I’m the first person to ever say “what if they were brothers” ajsfajgskagsjs BUT DUDE IT’S BEEN SO FUN!!! THEM BEING BROTHERS HAS BEEN SO FUN TO WORK WITH!!!

Write a lil snippet set in this verse.

Congratulations my friend Hazel. Because of you asking this question, I put down the very first words for this fic :) I’d been quite stuck on it beforehand and hadn’t written a thing, but your question was motivating!! So thank you :D

For context, the three brothers are parked in a McDonald’s parking lot because Dream thought it would be a good idea to get ice cream at like 9pm aksgajsgjags. Unfortunately Tommy is literally Four Years Old and Hungry.

~~~

“I want chicken nuggets!” Tommy announces, setting his empty cup into the cupholder built into his car seat. 

“No.” Dream pokes around his own cup. “I already said no.” 

“Please?” 

“No, Tommy.” 

Ghostbur watches them both; his younger brother, with stained cheeks and blue eyes, and his not-quite-as-young other brother, sitting behind the wheel and stubbornly attempting to scoop out the last of the sticky caramel from the plastic. He inhales. “I think it’s alright, Dream.”

“Hm?”

“I think it’s alright. We can get some chicken nuggets for him.”

Dream looks up, meeting his eyes while chewing slowly. Ghostbur raises his eyebrows slightly. Dream sighs. “It’s late.”

“We’ve already gotten ice cream.”

“He doesn’t need anymore food.”

“He can have a little.”

“He doesn’t need any.”

“But I’m hungry!” Tommy interjects. 

Ghostbur glances back at him, grinning. He looks to Dream. “He’s hungry.”

Dream is still for a moment, and then he lets out a long, loud sigh. Without a word, he sets down his cup and places both hands on the wheel. 

Tommy cheers. Ghostbur laughs, softly, and he thinks that he wouldn’t choose to have any other life than this.

____

“I thought you said it was too late for food?” Ghostbur questions, popping a fry into his mouth.

Dream glances at him out of the corner of his eyes. “It’s only fair that I got something for us, too. Otherwise we would’ve just gotten hungry smelling the nuggets.” 

Ghostbur shifts until he can see into the backseat. Tommy looks out the window, swinging his legs happily as he munches on a chicken nugget. Ghostbur smiles even though Tommy isn’t looking at him. 

“You haven’t even thanked me yet.” Dream’s face still looks a bit annoyed, but his voice is light. “I bought you food and you don’t even say thank you. What a brother.”

“My sincerest apologies, dear Dream.” Ghostbur grins, putting another fry into his mouth. Dream looks at him—his full face, this time—and grins back. One hand on the wheel, he reaches his other for the cupholder nearest to him, where Ghostbur had placed the small carton of fries that Dream had bought for them both. Dream grabs a few fries and stuffs them into his mouth, eyes watching the dark road. They’re driving through backroads now; they’d left the highway some minutes ago, replacing the streetlights and chain restaurants with green fields and stars. Ghostbur knows that sheep live in these fields. He wishes it were bright enough to see them now. He likes driving past them during the day and catching small glimpses into their quiet lives. He’s always liked sheep.

~~~

You get another snippet too, because I wanted to share both :)

~~~

Then Dream finds a band-aid. It’s a yellow one. 

“See?” He says after sticking it onto Ghostbur’s skin, even though Ghostbur was in front of a mirror and could’ve done it himself. “That’s better, right? It’s like it never happened.”

Ghostbur stares at his reflection. His brown eyes, his now messy hair, his blue sweater with a little embroidered sun over his heart, and his yellow band-aid. He can see the edges of a bruise peaking out from the fabric. 

Dream’s reflection looks at Ghostbur’s reflection, and he reaches over and musses up his hair—a familiar gesture, made with a fondness that Dream reserves specifically for Ghostbur. Ghostbur’s the only one he trusts. The only one he feels safe with. Ghostbur knows this. Dream’s fingers are soft against the skin of Ghostbur’s head, and then the fingers fall away. Dream’s reflection tells him goodnight, and then he walks out of the small bathroom. Ghostbur continues staring at himself for some moments. Slowly, he reaches up two fingers, lightly pressing the band-aid. It hurts. He lets his fingers drop. 

He has trouble sleeping. It happens every now and again; often enough for doctors to prescribe him medication, but not often enough for Ghostbur to remember to take it. He lies awake now, eyes trained on the ceiling where little plastic stars glow. Dream had stuck dozens of them up there, years ago. Ghostbur doesn’t remember why. It may have been his birthday, or he may have been having a really awful day. Perhaps it was both. 

Regardless, Dream had stuck the stars onto Ghostbur’s ceiling, and they’ve stayed ever since. Ghostbur likes them. They’re not as good as real stars, but they’re fun, and childish in a comforting way, and they make him feel safer. 

Ghostbur breathes in deeply through his mouth. He can smell artificial fruit in his breath when he exhales; toothpaste that had washed away the salt and grease from the fries. Ghostbur’s never been able to use mint toothpaste without his mouth burning. He thinks the flavor he has now is watermelon. It tastes nothing at all like watermelon. It’s better than mint, though. 

“Look at me.” 

Ghostbur flinches, and the skin under his band-aid flashes with a pain he doesn’t want to remember. Dream hadn’t meant to do it that hard. He knows that. He knows it was an accident. 

He rolls over with a sigh, the uninjured side of his face pressing into his pillow. He can’t see any of the stars anymore. 

He doesn’t sleep. 

What was the hardest to write about this fic?

I haven’t written enough to say (so far, every snippet I’ve written has been easy) but there is a particular scene that will be emotionally hard to write, I think. It involves heavy Ghostbur angst :(

[the-firebird69]

Hope Hicks expected to testify at Donald Trump's hush money trial

This latest testimony is poodle for the case several people know it she does and Trump knows she's not really happy about that and it's kind of really gross and she said she hates him can't stand him he's gone and a lot of people do I heard about the news June 4th and are preparing and they know about the movies and they're pushing for that to happen they have a lot of pull the people that want them out as you can see it all over the place it's definitely every way you look and it's going to be a problem for Trump very soon and he has been enemies everywhere everywhere and the old one I'm gone and call him insane and mean and self-deprecating and human garbage and his repulsively dumb and extremely mean and he's p Diddy too and he was doing a lot of illegal things two men and women and was raping a lot of people and stealing stuff drugging them the committed a lot of murders too and that came out too and it is Trump and the exposed does not work when they did that minority more luck were lynching and they are under scrutiny by the pseudo empire.

I sent his money out that her name is Hicks first name is Hope and Billy Hicks was his name in other words they're trying to scapegoat are people in the Midwest I said Billy means and hope Hicks it looks like they are going to convict him of committed fraud with documents of the United States I mean she is a witness for the prosecution so it's not that great of a deal for Trump of course it has deeper meaning than just Billy Hicks and hurricanes and it's very very harrowing.

Billy Hicks is an evil person and he was as well as his character was prevalent in westboro he was known as someone who might burn your house down and he was a miscreant he was seen taking trash from people's houses and as far as southborough and he's doing quite often and he was listed as interest a person of interest for many many years almost 20 years and it kept on being listed and he was suspect in many crimes and murders and he was arrested for it yeah. He get arrested for a lot of homicides and they kept doing it to him they kept getting out. No he decided to explode himself to her son and his son said it right he said I'm not supposed to know for some reason they don't tell me it's a taboo and I want to hear anymore then and he did it later and he got really screwed and said that's the effect and it went with it and I told people this is his motorcycle this modus operandi his motif and we're in trouble and they start attacking him and stopped and started and it's the worst treatment you can give to him and it got reported was starting to better program but for real he's planning our people as Billy Hicks and he's blaming our people for our people disappearing so you're supposed to do hey went out there and he was not really doing that he was blaming us and he was running around trying to find us by blaming us and he was not successful and he was yelling and screaming and he was telling people what to do truth is they still tried to do it the whole time and there's still screaming the stuff because the stupid idiot not understanding the code and he's saying they're the ones to blame and it's just awful is as dumb as a damn dog and they say it all the time if you can get it he's screaming it as and through their plan now to say it's supposed to and they don't know what happened or where we went. It's going on now that he sees he's going to testify and he sees her name and he says what is this and she is familiar with the code and it's starting to get. And Billy Hicks has been fooling around with money and things like that that is property of the max and is also our sons and he doesn't get that either this guy is a wonderful piece of dog s*** if something you want him to get wrong just have him involved

Thor Freya

Olympus

What is Billy Hicks a dumb s*** it's a lot more to this but really it's fine it's program to go after some failed the max are condemning because of that. 90% of the women and do you see in the movie and we savaged it's the weapon that is used in The cinematic and then try and replace trump a lot of the music robots that are just doing good

Thor Freya

Olympus

L this guy here is going down and we'll put it

[nathandepp]

Praise Ammit... for now

18+- no one listens to ts

Pairing: Harrow x fem reader

Contains: Betrayal, maybe angst, smut specifically p in v, oral (M receiving) sub harrow, moonknight stuff

~ Trust vs Lust~

The next morning you were awakened by an overly bright sun beaming across your face. You stretched your arms and legs out, mimicking a starfish position. You sat up in the bed still tangled in the white silky sheets and blanket and to your surprise, you were met with a semi-clean floor. Of course you were still on the brink of going back to sleep so it most definitely could've been a hallucination. But as you forced yourself out of the bed and onto the small rug Arthur kept by his bed, you felt a small pain in most of you're lower body. You walked into the bathroom and got yourself freshened up. After about a solid 15 minutes, you walked out and began cleaning up from last nights rendezvous.

As you were cleaning your mind kept drifting back to last night. Remembering how he looked and the things he said made you blush. Your mind kept drifting as you were cleaning. By the time you actually blinked and came back to reality, you were done. Well then, guess I can relax until he comes back. Due to his authoritative role as the villages leader, he had a lot of duties. You know he always couldn't put himself first.

Hence why you did. But then typical Arthur, always giving back. It's one of the things you've admired most about him since you both have met. While the time has been short, it's been a time neither of you will ever forget. As you say down on the bed crossing your legs, you looked in front of you to the chair in front of the mirror. You replayed last night's events in your head remembering everything you'd done. From the beautiful sounds he made to the way he obediently obeyed you like a mere pet.

You even remember his beautiful face when he realized Ammits Ushabti was in a direct line of sight. You looked back at the spot where it was only to be met with an empty space. Your smile immediately dissipated and you shot up from the bed and rushed to the dresser. You began panicking and looking everywhere under the bed, on the dresser, in the bathroom, and on the bed. It was nowhere to be found. The last place you looked was in the bag you brought here. What was in there surprised you.

What filled the bag wasn't the Ushabti of Ammit, but instead a note. You picked up the note and was a little surprised when Arthur's name was on it. As you read it, your emotions began to well up and your heart sank into your stomach. To summarize, the note said, " Thank you for being so willing to give up yourself for our reigning goddess Ammit. You practically placed it in my grasp. And for that, I am eternally grateful. However, Ammit must be revived to stop the wrongdoers in this cruel world." Sincerely, Arthur. And there were two other names that you didn't recognize but to be honest, you didn't really care about them.

You sank down onto your knees, the note clasped in your hand. Tears threatened to fall down your face. However, no matter how hard this hurt, there was a mission at hand and you didn't have time to jeopardize it even more. With that, you ripped up the note and arose back to your feet. You went to the bathroom and got dressed, retrieved your bag and left the room.

You found some fabric and wrapped it around your head to "disguise" yourself. You decided to sneak out of the village and go to a store to retrieve weapons. Because obviously, Ammit wasn't going to defeat itself.

After going to the store, you gathered as many weapons you could hold and carry. You walked back through the village using the fabric to conceal your face. As you're walking through the village you got to yourself about the previous night. You wondered had he always wanted to steal the Ushabti from you? Was that his plan all along? Am I not good enough?

Lost in all these thoughts running in your mind, you didn't even realize that you had made it in front of the main part of the village. The place where you and he officially met. Memories started to flood your mind and it was getting hard to not focus on your emotions. However, you needed to complete this not for anyone else's sake but for yours. If you didn't carry through with this "mission" that you set for yourself, you'd feel like a failure. And everything you read in that note would be true. And with that you rid your mind of all the memories.

Then you walked inside.

[blu-joons]

DATING NCT A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Kim Donyoung

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

Doyoung tends to love to be affectionate when it’s just the two of you. He’ll often cuddle up closely to you when no one else is around and whisper a lot of sweet nothings into your ear. And of course, leave his lips against your skin.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

The two of you met through Johnny at a party for his birthday. You were stood at the bar all alone, and so Doyoung came over to say hi, as he was never one to leave a damsel in distress. He offered to buy you a drink to try and get you smiling again, and the two of you soon struck up a conversation with each other.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

Your friendship soon blossomed into something more, you spent a lot of time together as friends, and not long after did the two of you begin to wonder if there was something more between you both then just being friends. Doyoung ended up confessing to you one night at the dorm when he invited you round for a quiet night, in the middle of a competitive game to try and take more of the attention away from what he said to you.

D ⇴ DATES 

Your dates were often very homely, Doyoung loved being in his own space so he’d often invite you to the dorm and set up a romantic space for the two of you. Movie nights were very common between the two of you, wrapped up tightly in a pile of blankets and cushions as close as you could be together. Doyoung gives the best hugs, so being able to lay against him all night long makes for the perfect date night in your opinion. You’re happy doing what makes Doyoung comfortable, and if the dorm is it, you’ll never complain.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

Dating was very much a mystery to Doyoung before he started dating you. When he fell for you, he fell with his whole heart and wanted to make sure that he did things right. He often turned to his elders in the group for advice and encouragement whenever he doubted himself. Sometimes, falling in love with you scared him as he never imagined himself falling so hard, but with the support of his friends around him, they’d always assure him that he was doing the right thing and keeping you happy.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

At times, Doyoung could be a little bit snappy which led to a few squabbles between the two of you. He had a bit of a shorter fuse in comparison to some of his other members, and you weren’t an exception to feeling the wrath of that at times. He always tried to remain calm around you, but sometimes he just couldn’t help but bite back. When the row of you argued, Doyoung would often leave for a little while to give you both some space to think, and after a few hours, would return so that the two of you could talk things through with each other, and he could apologise for being so abrupt.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY 

Doyoung couldn’t wait to introduce you to his family, he wanted to show off the girl that had stolen his heart. It led to a lot of expectation being placed on your shoulders, but every time you saw them, they loved you a little bit more than they did the last time they saw you, and saw how happier Doyoung was with you too.

H ⇴ HOME 

His space was very valuable to him, so Doyoung didn’t want to rush anything when it came to moving you in. As much time as you spent at the dorm, knowing you still had your apartment was incredibly comforting, and seeing you give that up was often an intimidating thought for Doyoung in case anything went wrong.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

He was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ at the end of one of your movie nights after watching a harrowing romance. Doyoung found himself incredibly teary at the end of the film, and when his eyes met yours as the credits rolled, he couldn’t help but whisper those three little words down to you whilst you wiped away his tears.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

There were definitely times when Doyoung would get jealous, selfishly he wanted to have you all to himself, but he knew that wasn’t possible. Whenever he got jealous, he would stare a lot, it was also a pretty subtle hint to any of the other members who were around you that they were overstepping the line. He couldn’t help but often be quite protective of you, even though he trusted you implicitly, it all often felt too good be to true as if he was waiting for someone better to come along and blow him out of the water.

K ⇴ KIDS 

Having children was definitely something that Doyoung saw in his future, but he was definitely in no rush. He wanted to take things slowly with you, even after several years he didn’t want to do anything that would scare you off. With that, he wouldn’t mention children around you often unless you brought it up and then he would know that you were happy to talk about it and wouldn’t get frightened if he suddenly brought it up.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

The sound of your laughter was what Doyoung lives for, he loved being there to make you laugh, and also wear a proud smile on his face whenever you made him laugh too. You could often be heard by the other members laughing away in his room at even the most random of things. There was something infectious for Doyoung about being around you that just naturally made him laugh, his cheeks were always hurting whenever he was with you, there was never a dull moment as long as he had you with him to keep the smile on his face. Any time the two of you laughed together, usually spelt out mischief for everyone else.

M ⇴ MISSING 

Being on tour and away from you was always an emotional time for Doyoung. He hated the distance of being away from the dorm, and from you. You usually stayed at the dorm to keep an eye on things when he was on the road, but seeing that you were there and he wasn’t was almost like a torture for him. If there was one bonus about having you there, it was that as soon as he got home you’d already be there and waiting for him in his room. There were definitely a few occasions when Doyoung would get teary about being away from you, the other members would often see him wiping under his eyes with his sleeve to try and hide his tears before he was spotted getting upset.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

It was a nickname that Doyoung hated, but you loved to call him ‘dodo.’ It was one you used to try and sweeten him at the end of an argument once, which just so happened to stick with the two of you, much to his disapproval.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

He’s obsessed with your waist, he’s an incredible hugger, and loves to keep his arms wrapped tightly around your waist whenever he pulls you close to him or rests against you.

P ⇴ PDA 

Affection in public isn’t something the two of you are huge on, you’ll usually feel Doyoung hugging onto you from the side or behind, but that’s as far as anything goes. It’s enough to make sure that he knows you’re safe and with him which is all he worries about whenever the two of you are out in public.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

The two of you would often ask a lot of questions to each other late night at just before you went to sleep, cuddled up to each other. Neither of you could ever just fall asleep, so you’d stay up and chat for a while about whatever thoughts came to mind for you both.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

Every single thing that reminded Doyoung of you, he kept. Underneath his bed he had a whole folder alone dedicated to all of the cards that you’d given him over the years, either for his birthdays, anniversaries or something else. He found himself attached to it all, just knowing that you had given it to him meant that he didn’t have it in him to throw the stuff away, instead he’d hoard it all under his bed where no one else could see it.

S ⇴ SEX

Would often be a very cuddly affair, Doyoung would love to hold you as close as he possibly could to you so that his hands could run through your hair and his lips could press to yours. Doyoung loved to take his time with you, he was never one for a quick fix or to rush anything between you both, you were worth a lot more than that, and he wanted to spend a lot longer making sure that you felt loved and safe with him.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

He’d often text you with suggestions of films for the two of you to watch that night or a takeout that he fancied ordering. He’d always ask you what you thought about it, and if you liked it, he’d always set it up for you both.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Doyoung loved welcoming someone into his own world, even if he enjoyed his own company at times, there was still something so comforting about knowing that you were even just in the room with him, even in silence.

V ⇴ VACATION 

The two of you never really tended to go away, you knew that if Doyoung ever had any time off then he’d like to spend it at the dorm and just enjoy his own comforts and his own personal space. You were more than happy to do whatever Doyoung was comfortable with, just being able to spend a bit of time with him was enough.

W ⇴ WHINING 

Doyoung doesn’t tend to whine too often, unless you’re spending too much time with the boys and not him. He likes to make sure he’s always your favourite member.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

Whenever he cuddles you, he just can’t help but kiss you too. It almost comes as an instinct to him to kiss your cheek whenever you reveal it to him, or press your lips whenever there’s a short distance between the two of you. If you’re feeling down, Doyoung knows that a kiss from him will usually be the medicine to put a smile back on your face. More than anything else, he loves to make you blush by pressing as many kisses to you as he can.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were his team mate, the two of you together were inseparable.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

He’d cling to you every night, without fail whenever the two of you went to sleep together. He loves having you close when he sleeps, it’s incredibly comforting to Doyoung to know that you’re that you’re right there beside him, especially when he has a restless night.

---

Masterlist

[foulserpent]

nosleep mods deleted this for apparently not being a horror story. enjoy

My friend Ed is a bit of an outdoorsman. Not one of those hardcore 'two week hike hunting for food and sleeping in the dirt' types, but he does his share of hunting and camping. He and I got into it together when we met in community college and went on a weed-fueled camping trip over spring break, and since then he has far outgrown my own outdoor endeavors.

He's gotten some great stories to tell over the years. Finding a pair of souvenir Vegas dice in the stomach of a rabbit he was cleaning, getting hit by two skunks in a single day, close encounters with pumas and bears, and the far more harrowing and painful encounters with other hikers. But he's never come back with anything all that disturbing. Until his last trip.

Ed had been making an admirable effort of converting his 'spend the fall watching netflix and consuming pumpkin themed beverages' oriented boyfriend, Saúl, to some small game hunting. About a year ago, the two of them had taken a trip down south to do just that.

A few days into their week-long trip, I got a flurry of panicked texts from Saúl. It was all things like, "omg we just saw something so messed up" and "never going to the desert again LMAO there was a naked guy" or something to that effect.

I barely remember. I was bedridden with the worst case of the flu I'd ever experienced, and received these texts through a haze of fever and Nyquil. At that time, my response to those texts was more or less "Wow, hate when that happens :("

Neither of them provided elaboration upon their return, and I was a little too consumed in my own misery to ask for it. It was left at that.

Last week, Ed and I were practicing our usual 7 o'clock ritual of smoking behind the gas station during his break and complaining about the mere existence of customers. His mask was pulled down to his chin and he was fumbling with an entire cigar he'd brought to work, complaining about some customer who was shirtless in the middle of November and clearly blitzed out of his mind.

It was as he was describing the man's public indecency that I remembered the frantic texts I had received last fall.

"Hey, speaking of nudity...What was the story with the naked dude in the desert?" I asked him.

He cringed.

"From last year, on your trip?" I pressed.

"Yeah, I know, I know. God. Did Saúl text you?"

"Yeah, but he didn't give me the details of it."

Ed finished lighting the cigar, and took a long drag.

"Yeah, okay." He said. "I was honestly trying to forget about it but like. I don't know why Saúl was so stuck on the nudity like, that was the least messed up part of it all. It was the craziest thing."

It was the craziest thing is the set of words he would begin every particularly intriguing story with, and I realized I should probably settle in. I made myself comfortable against the dumpster in anticipation.

His story was as follows.

"So, yeah. We were out in the scrub. Technically weren't supposed to be there, we were a little ways off my aunt's land but like, there's no one to bug you about that out there. It was this kinda rocky area, lots of little hills and tall brush. So you couldn't see very far from the ground. And it was pretty well into the afternoon, and we hadn't caught a damn thing, so we were just kinda screwing around at that point. And we were near this bigass arroyo, and-"

He paused.

"Wait, you know what an arroyo is?" He asked me, taking another drag from his cigar.

I shook my head. He nodded solemnly at my midwestern ignorance.

“Okay, yeah. So it's a dry sorta riverbed in the desert. You ever seen a dried up creek? It's like that. They form when the rains come and are completely dry the rest of the year. And a lot of them are pretty small, but this one was like, a miniature canyon. Probably thirty feet across and ten feet deep. And it kind of winds around the hills before getting shallower when the elevation changes or whatever.

“So anyway we’re… yeah we’re there. The arroyo is on the other side of some rocks, and the open desert is in front of us. And we were sat down in the shade, having some beef jerky and stuff."

He paused again. He seemed to be lost in thought, eyes squinting and looking somewhere distant.

"So yeah, we're having a grand old time, just having a snack or whatever. And suddenly we hear screaming. Some guy’s screaming, ‘help! help me!’ out in the bush somewhere nearby.”

“And you know how Saúl is. Too much of a sweetheart for his own good. He's like nudging me and going "Eddie, we should go help." And yeah, sure, I wanted to help but there was something… Weird? About it? Like the shouting sounded real close but I wasn’t hearing anything else that, you know, accompanies a call for help. Like, no running, no sounds of struggling or being mauled by a wild animal or whatever. It was DEAD silent whenever the guy wasn't shouting.

"And like, call me an asshole but I'm not gonna do some ‘white person in a horror movie 'lets split up, gang!'’ shit. I was staying right where I was.”

"So we just kind of sat there, listening to it. The guy had started just- shrieking. No words, just making noise. And at this point I was starting to feel like a complete bastard for being the pragmatic one, but Saúl didn't seem to wanna move either. Like, it was super off.

"And then, there’s another sound. Kind of a…uh… Gurgling noise? Like-”

Ed broke off to make an odd sound in his throat. It was a low, prolonged croak that slowly lifted into a 'whoop!’

Some old woman in the process of fueling her SUV glared at him. He scowled back.

“Okay, it was actually nothing like that. But you get the idea.”

“And that happens a couple times, and it... It didn't sound like a person's voice anymore. And I'm thinking maybe the world's most fucked up coyote just killed a guy and was celebrating or whatever, but it didn't really sound like an animal either. It was kinda inorganic, you know what I mean?

"But yeah, it kind of whoops a couple more times, and then the last time it just... Didn't stop. It kept going, and it turns into this- music? It sounded, uh, sort of like a bunch of different flutes being played at once. But lower. Very deep. I don’t remember the tune so don’t ask. But it was music, and me and Saúl are just looking at each other like "what the fuck?”.

"And at that point, curiosity is kicking in and I'm gripped by this wave of idiocy, so I get up and start walking towards the sound. Low to the ground, super slow. Stealth. And I can tell it’s coming from the arroyo. So I just verrrrry carefully climb up the side and look inside.“

Ed paused to grasp for words.

"And there’s a man in there. Some pasty dude. Sunburnt, t-shirt tan lines, all that. Pretty scrawny, but otherwise normal looking from the chest down. No injuries or nothing, which I can say for sure because, yeah, the dude is completely naked. I mean naked. There was a pile of his clothes nearby, and his whole dick was out and he was barefoot. And he was DANCING. He’s just dancing naked in this friggin’ ditch.

"And it took me a bit to process what was going on with his head. Like, the music sounds are coming from up there. And I’m thinking he’s got some sort of weird instrument over his head, but he dances towards me and um. He has no head. Or like- Shit. He kind of has a head? Like I could sort of make it out, but it’s tilted all the way backwards. Like, touching his back. So his neck's facing the sky, and his eyes are just kind of staring out behind him.

"And there’s all these… tubes. Coming out of where the nose and mouth probably used to be. Big fleshy tubes, skin toned. But they didn't flop around, they were like, pretty firm. And they’ve got little holes all over them. And that’s where the music is coming from. He’s playing them.”

Ed lifted his arms over his head and mimed with his fingers. “Like a flute”

“So like, it’s the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen, basically, but I can’t stop watching. And Saúl eventually comes up beside me, and we don’t say anything, we just watch this guy. It’s gotta be like… A solid hour we’re just sitting there, with this guy playing his music and dancing around. And he starts moving up the arroyo, still dancing the whole time, and eventually he’s out of sight. But we hear the music a good while longer until it gets too distant. I don't think he ever saw us. Or he didn't care. I don't know."

He was silent for a long while. I waited for him to continue, but it was evident that it was over.

"And... That was it?" I asked.

"Yeah, that was it. We got the hell out of there and didn't see him again. Or hear anything about a crazy nudist in the area."

He took another puff of his cigar, and coughed.

"I mean, it could have been... A really, really good costume or something. Like, REALLY good. I mean I definitely saw his eyes blinking. On the head that was... You know. Bent entirely backwards. But hey, could be a costume!" He added with a flourish, clearly not entertaining this possibility whatsoever.

"Holy shit." I said.

He laughed, and snuffed out his cigar in the snow. "Damn right."

[itsclydebitches]

Discredit Pt. 2: More Recommended Reviews For A.Z. Fell’s

Alright, folks. Some notes first: 

1. You all rock. I’m sending out 20k+ virtual hugs for all the notes I NEVER expected to get on this nonsense. 

2. This is probably the final section, just because I’m not sure I can adequately follow up part one and it might be foolish to attempt it here. Let alone twice. But for now, here we go. 

3. Kudos to the anon who reminded me of Aziraphale’s cash-only policy <3 

4. Nicole Y’s review is based off an actual comment I read years ago, but heaven only knows where online it was. I’ve got the memory of a goldfish. 

5. Trigger warning for the use of a queer slur in this. It’s the same review as above, number 5 if you want to avoid it. 

6. There’s a text-only version of just the reviews at the end, after all the images. I’ll upload that to my Sparse Clutter collection on AO3 in a bit. 

Bonus 7. People thinking this is a real shop deserve all the good things in this world. 

That’s all I’ve got. Hope you enjoy! 👍

****************************************************************************

I’m a simple guy who likes simple jokes. If there’s a whoopee cushion I plant it. I will call you up to ask if your refrigerator is running and then tell you to go catch it. (Actually that one died out so thoroughly it’s actually capable of a comeback now!). Yes, I’m a dad and yes, I have a t-shirt that says Dad Jokes? I Think You Mean Rad Jokes! which I wear un-ironically every Saturday. All of which is just to say that my wife was well prepared for my stupidity when I walked into Fell’s.

I? I was not.

You see the bibles when you walk in? The ones to the left? Let them be. Don’t even look at them. Definitely don’t pick out the fanciest one you can find and absolutely don’t walk up to the owner with it held in your pudgy little fingers, grinning like a loon, cheerfully asking whether this should be in the fiction section. Just don’t. Mark my words you’ll regret it. Though your wife won’t. She’ll get a great old laugh out of it all.

In conclusion: it’s quite possible that mama did raise a fool and he just got his ass verbally whooped by a guy in a bowtie.  

***

Shout-out to Mr. Fell for being the only decent bloke in this city. I’ve popped in and out of his store for years—including before I started transitioning. So he knew my dead name, dead look, whole shebang and I was definitely nervous to play the ‘You know me, but this is what’s changed and are you gonna throw a fit about it?’ game.

You know what he said? “Oh, Rose! What a lovely choice. Crowley dear, why aren’t you growing any roses? Some white ones would look splendid next to my Henredon chair.”

That’s it. He just went straight into dragging his partner for not giving him roses. So hey, Mom? Next time you’re snooping through my social media why don’t you explain to all these nice people why the 50+yo book seller accepts me in ways you won’t. Don’t go telling me age is an excuse or that you’re ‘Stuck in your ways.’ I’ve watched Fell dress in the same damn clothes since I was ten!!

Yeah. Sorry. Rant over. Fell’s a gem. That’s my take. Rose out.

***

Anyone else in the shop when that guy started yelling about buying pornography? And then got escorted into the back room for some ‘private conversation’? Well done, Mr. Fell! Didn’t know you had it in you.

***

Alright alright alright alright I am TOTALLY calm about this.

Went into A.Z. Fell’s last Thursday. Not because I knew anything about the place. Just because I’ve been hitting up every bookshop within a twenty-mile radius, asking if they’re hosting any book signings. Long story short I self-published my novel Blight last month—which you can get for a mere £5 here but I swear this isn’t a promotional thing I’m just BROKE—and have been looking for networking opportunities, tips, stuff like that. So the owner listened politely as I explained all this. Then said he didn’t do anything of that sort, which didn’t surprise me given the shop’s vibe.

But then? Then??? He offered to let me do a signing there??????

As said. Totally calm about this. This man either plans to kidnap me or is actually giving me my first shot at an audience outside my blog. AKA totally worth the risk.

Tuesday the 9th. 7:00pm. Just in case anyone’s interested ;)

***

holy sweet baby jesus i was tripping balls last week you tryin’ to tell me that kING KONG SIZED FANGED FUCK SNAKE IS REAL

***

Witnessed the most perfect exchange the other day:

Grumpy Dude With No Manners: “You. Boy. Where’s the man I spoke with over the phone?”

Mr. Fell’s Partner Who Knows Damn Well Only Two of Them Work There But Clearly Doesn’t Like This Guy’s Tone: “Did this man give you his name?”

Grumpy Dude: “Might have. Don’t remember. Sounded like a fairy though.”

Me: “....”

My girlfriend: “....”

This Poor Sweet Startled Kid On Our Left: “?!?!?!?”

Fell’s Partner In The Drollest Voice I’ve Ever Heard: “None of us have wings. Out!”

***

This shop gets full stars simply because every time I walk in they’re playing Queen.

I mean, I’ve walked in once, but once is enough when you’ve got Crazy Little Thing Called Love blasting full volume.

***

Okay, I’m still kind of shaken up but I needed to write this out somewhere and this seemed as good a place as any.

I spilled my latte on a book. Just tripped on thin air, popped the lid, and chucked a venti’s worth of coffee all over a very expensive looking text. I didn’t mean to, obviously, but it happened and I just started bawling on the spot. Full on sobs because this semester has been absolute hell, I ruined this guy’s antique, there’s no way I can pay for it, I can’t even sneak away because I’m drawing the whole store’s attention...just all the things all at once. I really was straight up panicking and was seconds away from pulling out my inhaler. I couldn’t breathe.

And then Mr. Fell showed up.

Jesus it’s embarrassing to admit but I think I hit him once or twice. On the arms I mean, because he was trying to touch me and I figured, I don’t know, it was a restraint or something. He was going to call the police and hold me until they got there. But then he managed to start rubbing my back and I lost it like I hadn’t already been bawling my eyes out in this shop. Ever cry into a perfect stranger’s chest? I have! But if Mr. Fell seemed to mind he definitely didn’t show it. Just kept holding me while I probably ruined his shirt and then took me into the back and made me a new coffee in this cute little angel mug. He let me stay there while I called my sister and waited for her to arrive.

She’s a good twenty minutes outside of Soho, so we talked for a while. It’s not like Mr. Fell could fix my shit roommate or bio classes, but I guess just talking about it all really helped. I was a lot calmer by the time my sis arrived and Mr. Fell insisted I come back any time I wanted—for browsing or more coffee.

Of course, sis offered to pay for the book herself. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so surprised in my life. “Certainly not!” he said. “Contrary to popular belief, no one should pay for their mistakes. It’s what makes you all so wonderfully human.”

So yeah. Thanks, Mr. Fell.

***

This little shop must have started a book club for kids! Lately I’ve seen the same group of children hanging out at Fell’s. Three boys and a girl. They’re a bit rambunctious at times, but who isn’t at that age? So wonderful seeing literature passed down to the next generation. Even if some of it is rather questionable looking...

***

It’s an honest crime that more of you aren’t talking about what a wonderful bookstore this is.

I’m a book lover at heart and Fell’s always makes me feel like I’m coming home. I just arrived somewhere safe and familiar after a particularly harrowing day. I’ve slipped under the covers of my bed after dinner and a bubble bath. It’s something like that, but with an element of surprise too. One of the reasons why I adore private and used shops over chain stores is that little touch of chaos. You walk in and sure, there are general sections to browse, but everything is just a little bit disorganized from people leafing through books and then putting them back somewhere else. There’s no real record keeping, you’ve just gotta head to one particular corner and hope for the best. It’s not the sort of place you go to if you want something specific because the chances of them having it are slim—that’s just how the universe works—and even if they did no employee knows where it is anymore.

But if you wander the shelves for a while, crouch down low to get a look at everything on the bottom shelf, pay attention to the books that don’t have easy to read titles or any summaries to speak of... you just might find something you didn’t know you were looking for. That’s Fell’s: the comfort of the familiar and the excitement of the unknown.

*** A lot of people might assume that these stories are embellished or outright made up, but as a bookseller myself going on twenty years I believe every single one of them.

That being said, I accidentally moved a rug and found chalk sigils that look like they belong in a cult. Make of that what you will.

***

There’s a special place in hell for 21st century shop owners that only take cash. Who carries cash anymore? Not me! I haven’t bothered with that nonsense in years! You can get a card reader for 15 pounds on Amazon. Or you know what? Be stingy and pay 7 for the little attachment on your phone. This place is nuts if it thinks it’s going to survive much longer on a cash-only policy, especially with some books that look like they’re worth hundreds or thousands of pounds! Yeah, yeah, just let me pull out this giant wad of bills for you. I’ll carry them around a crime-laden city because there’s no ATM near you either.

I mean jesus, you’d think this guy didn’t want to sell anything.

***

I walked in. There was a man screaming at a fern while another threatened him with an umbrella. I walked out.

5 stars do recommend.

***

I once walked in on the same (?) guy yelling at a book for daring to fall on the owner’s head. I think that’s just a Thing over there.

***

Like a lot of people here I didn’t actually go to Fell’s for any books (flat tire, Angel Recovery taking forever) and ended up staying three hours (not because of Angel). No, I wandered towards the back and found this ancient CRT set propped on a table of books, the kind that my Dad used to watch Twilight Zone on. This lanky guy had a marathon of Gilmore Girls going... though how he was managing that with a broken antenna and no DVR, I really don’t know. But yeah. He told me to pull up a chair and I did. Guy gave me popcorn.

I wish I’d paid a little more attention to his name. Charlie? Curley? I really can’t remember, but thanks for the enjoyable afternoon, man.

***

I BOUGHT A BOOK HERE

Not sure how though. Just kinda happened. First edition of Just William. Frankly I didn’t even want the thing, but the owner basically shoved me out the door with it when I took two seconds to look at the spine. Odd that he was so willing to part with this one.

Update: ... hold up. I didn’t buy a book because I never actually paid the guy. ‘Basically shoved me out the door’ was literal. Do I go back??

***

This page has really gone feral the last couple of months so I’m just gonna bite the bullet and say it:

Anyone notice that Fell’s snake and Fell’s partner are never in the same room together?

***

I really don’t like the implications of this…

***

This is precisely why the Internet has turned into a cesspool. You all should be ashamed of some of the stuff you’re writing here. Can’t two men just be friends anymore? Two real life men? These guys aren’t some characters for you to ‘ship’ or whatever. Quit making outrageous assumptions about their sexualities and use this website for what it’s actually for: reviewing the bookshop. Honestly I’m so sick of this sort of this shit.

***

Dude. They run a queer-focused shop together with a flat on the second floor. Fell calls the guy ‘Dear’ and he’s always calling him ‘Angel.’ People have literally seen them kissing. If you want I can give you the number of my physician. He might be able to help you pull your head out of your ass.

***

What the hell is your problem? I’m literally just reminding people to stop making assumptions. It’s gross and insulting. These guys check their Yelp page. You really think they’re gonna be okay with this stuff?

Also: I’m not the five-year-old relying on insults, so.

***

Making an account purely to set the record straight: I’m the hot twink in question and I married that angel. Peace

[grigori77]

Summer 2021′s Movies - My Top Ten Favourite Films (Part 2)

The Top Ten:

10.  WEREWOLVES WITHIN – definitely one of the year’s biggest cinematic surprises so far, this darkly comic supernatural murder mystery from indie horror director Josh Ruben (Scare Me) is based on a video game, but you’d never know it – this bears so little resemblance to the original Ubisoft title that it’s a wonder anyone even bothered to make the connection, but even so, this is now notable for officially being the highest rated video game adaptation in Rotten Tomatoes history, with a Certified Fresh rating of 86%. Certainly it deserves that distinction, but there’s so much more to the film – this is an absolute blood-splattered joy, the title telling you everything you need to know about the story but belying the film’s pure, quirky genius.  Veep’s Sam Richardson is forest ranger Finn Wheeler, a gentle and socially awkward soul who arrives at his new post in the remote small town of Beaverton to discover the few, uniformly weird residents are divided over the oil pipeline proposition of forceful and abrasive businessman Sam Parker (The Hunt’s Wayne Duvall).  As he tries to fit in and find his feet, investigating the disappearance of a local dog while bonding with local mail carrier Cecily Moore (Other Space and This Is Us’ Milana Vayntrub), the discovery of a horribly mutilated human body leads to a standoff between the townsfolk and an enforced lockdown in the town’s ramshackle hotel as they try to work out who amongst them is the “werewolf” they suspect is responsible.  This is frequently hilarious, the offbeat script from appropriately named Mishna Wolff (I’m Down) dropping some absolutely zingers and crafting some enjoyably weird encounters and unexpected twists, while the uniformly excellent cast do much of the heavy-lifting to bring their rich, thoroughly oddball characters to vivid life – Richardson is thoroughly cuddly throughout, while Duvall is pleasingly loathsome, Casual’s Michaela Watkins is pleasingly grating as Trisha, flaky housewife to unrepentant local horn-dog Pete Anderton (Orange is the New Black’s Michael Chernus), and Cheyenne Jackson (American Horror Story) and Harry Guillen (best known, OF COURSE, as Guillermo in the TV version of What We Do In the Shadows) make an enjoyably spiky double-act as liberal gay couple Devon and Joaquim Wolfson; in the end, though, the film is roundly stolen by Vayntrub, who invests Cecily with a bubbly sweetness and snarky sass that makes it absolutely impossible to not fall completely in love with her (gods know I did).  This is a deeply funny film, packed with proper belly-laughs from start to finish, but like all the best horror comedies it takes its horror elements seriously, delivering some enjoyably effective scares and juicy gore, while the werewolf itself, when finally revealed, is realised through some top-notch prosthetics.  Altogether this was a most welcome under-the-radar surprise for the summer, and SO MUCH MORE than just an unusually great video game adaptation …

9.  THE TOMORROW WAR – although cinemas finally reopened in the UK in early summer, the bite of the COVID lockdown backlog was still very much in effect this blockbuster season, with several studios preferring to hedge their bets and wait for later release dates. Others turned to streaming services, including Paramount, who happily lined up a few heavyweight titles to open on major platforms in lieu of the big screen.  One of the biggest was this intended sci-fi action horror tentpole, meant to give Chris Pratt another potential franchise on top of Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World, which instead dropped in early July on Amazon Prime.  So, was it worth staying in on a Saturday night instead of heading out for something on the BIG screen?  Mostly yes, although it’s mainly a trashy, guilty pleasure big budget B-picture charm that makes this such a worthwhile experience – the film’s biggest influences are clearly Independence Day and Starship Troopers, two admirably clunky blockbusters that DEFINED prioritising big spectacle and overblown theatrics over intelligent writing and realistic storytelling.  It doesn’t help that the premise is pure bunk – in 2022, a wormhole opens from thirty years in the future, and a plea for help is sent back with a bunch of very young future soldiers.  Seems Earth will become overrun by an unstoppable swarm of nasty alien critters called Whitespikes in 25 years, and the desperate human counteroffensive have no choice but to bring soldiers from our present into the future to help them fight back and save the humanity from imminent extinction.  Less than a year later, the world’s standing armies have been decimated and a worldwide draft has been implemented, with normal everyday adults being sent through for a seven day tour from which very few return.  Pratt plays biology teacher and former Green Beret Dan Forrester, one of the latest batch of draftees to be sent into the future along with a selection of chefs, soccer moms and other average joes – his own training and experience serves him better than most when the shit hits the fan, but it soon becomes clear that he’s just as out of his depth as everyone else as the sheer enormity of the threat is revealed.  But when he becomes entangled with a desperate research outfit led by Muri (Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski) who seem to be on the verge of a potential world-changing scientific breakthrough, Dan realises there just might be a slender hope for humanity after all … this is every bit as over-the-top gung-ho bonkers as it sounds, and just as much fun.  Director Chris McKay may still be pretty fresh (with only The Lego Batman Movie under his belt to date), but he shows a lot of talent and potential for big budget blockbuster filmmaking here, delivering with guts and bravado on some major action sequences (a fraught ticking-clock SAR operation through a war-torn Miami is the film’s undeniable highlight, but a desperate battle to escape a blazing oil rig also really impresses), as well as handling some impressively complex visual effects work and wrangling some quality performances from his cast (altogether it bodes well for his future, which includes Nightwing and Johnny Quest as future projects).  Chris Pratt can do this kind of stuff in his sleep – Dan is his classic fallible and self-deprecating but ultimately solid and kind-hearted action hero fare, effortlessly likeable and easy to root for – and his supporting cast are equally solid, Strahovsky going toe-to-toe with him in the action sequences while also creating a rewardingly complex smart-woman/badass combo in Muri, while the other real standouts include Sam Richardson (Veep, Werewolves Within) and Edwin Hodge (The Purge movies) as fellow draftees Charlie and Dorian, the former a scared-out-of-his-mind tech geek while the latter is a seriously hardcore veteran serving his THIRD TOUR, and the ever brilliant J.K. Simmonds as Dan’s emotionally scarred estranged Vietnam-vet father, Jim.  Sure, it’s derivative as hell and thoroughly predictable (with more than one big twist you can see coming a mile away), but the pace is brisk, the atmosphere pregnant with a palpable doomed urgency, and the creatures themselves are a genuinely convincing world-ending threat, the design team and visual effects wizards creating genuine nightmare fuel in the feral and unrelenting Whitespikes.  Altogether this WAS an ideal way to spend a comfy Saturday night in, but I think it could have been JUST AS GOOD for a Saturday night OUT at the Pictures …

8.  ARMY OF THE DEAD – another high profile release that went straight to streaming was this genuine monster hit for Netflix from one of this century’s undeniable heavyweight action cinema masters, the indomitable Zack Snyder, who kicked off his career with an audience-dividing (but, as far as I’m concerned, ultimately MASSIVELY successful) remake of George Romero’s immortal Dawn of the Dead, and has finally returned to zombie horror after close to two decades away.  The end result is, undeniably, the biggest cinematic guilty pleasure of the entire summer, a bona fide outbreak horror EPIC in spite of its tightly focused story – Dave Bautista plays mercenary Scott Ward, leader a badass squad of soldiers of fortune who were among the few to escape a deadly outbreak of a zombie virus in the city of Las Vegas, enlisted to break into the vault of one of the Strip’s casinos by owner Bly Tanaka (a fantastically game turn from Hiroyuki Sanada) and rescue $200 million still locked away inside.  So what’s the catch?  Vegas remains ground zero for the outbreak, walled off from the outside world but still heavily infested within, and in less than three days the US military intends to sterilise the site with a tactical nuke.  Simple premise, down and dirty, trashy flick, right?  Wrong – Snyder has never believed in doing things small, having brought us unapologetically BIG cinema with the likes of 300, Watchmen, Man of Steel and, most notably, his version of Justice League, so this is another MASSIVE undertaking, every scene shot for maximum thrills or emotional impact, each set-piece executed with his characteristic militaristic precision and explosive predilection (a harrowing fight for survival against a freshly-awakened zombie horde in tightly packed casino corridors is the film’s undeniable highlight), and the gauzy, dreamlike cinematography gives even simple scenes an intriguing and evocative edge that really does make you feel like you’re watching something BIG.  The characters all feel larger-than-life too – Bautista can seem somewhat cartoonish at times, and this role definitely plays that as a strength, making Scott a rock-hard alpha male in the classic Hollywood mould, but he’s such a great actor that of course he’s able to invest the character with real rewarding complexity beneath the surface; Ana de la Reguera (Eastbound & Down) and Nora Arnezeder (Zoo, Mozart in the Jungle), meanwhile, both bring a healthy dose of oestrogen-fuelled badassery to proceedings as, respectively, Scott’s regular second-in-command, Maria Cruz, and Lilly the Coyote, Power’s Omari Hardwick and Matthias Schweighofer (You Are Wanted) make for a fun odd-couple double act as circular-saw-wielding merc Vanderohe and Dieter, the nervous, nerdy German safecracker brought in to crack the vault, and Fear the Walking Dead’s Garrett Dillahunt channels spectacular scumbag energy as Tanaka’s sleazy former casino boss Martin, while latecomer Tig Notaro (Star Trek Discovery) effortlessly rises above her last-minute-casting controversy to deliver brilliantly as sassy and acerbic chopper pilot Peters.  I think it goes without saying that Snyder can do this in his sleep, but he definitely wasn’t napping here – he pulled out all the stops on this one, delivering a thrilling, darkly comic and endearingly CRACKERS zombie flick that not only compares favourably to his own Dawn but is, undeniably, his best film for AGES.  Netflix certainly seem to be pleased with the results – a spinoff prequel, Army of Thieves, starring Dieter in another heist thriller, is set to drop in October, with an animated series following in the Spring, and there’s already rumours of a sequel in development.  I’m certainly up for more …

7.  BLACK WIDOW – no major blockbuster property was hit harder by COVID than the MCU, which saw its ENTIRE SLATE for 2020 delayed for over a year in the face of Marvel Studios bowing to the inevitability of the Pandemic and unwilling to sacrifice those all-important box-office receipts by just sending their films straight to streaming.  The most frustrating part for hardcore fans of the series was the delay of a standalone film that was already criminally overdue – the solo headlining vehicle of founding Avenger and bona fide female superhero ICON Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow.  Equally frustratingly, then, this film seems set to be overshadowed by real life controversy as star and producer Scarlett Johansson goes head-to-head with Disney in civil court over their breach-of-contract after they hedged their bets by releasing the film simultaneously in cinemas and on their own streaming platform, which has led to poor box office as many of the film’s potential audience chose to watch it at home instead of risk movie theatres with the virus still very much remaining a threat (and Disney have clearly reacted AGAIN, now backtracking on their release policy by instigating a new 45-day cinematic exclusivity window on all their big releases for the immediate future). But what of the film itself?  Well Black Widow is an interesting piece of work, director Cate Shortland (Berlin Syndrome) and screenwriter Eric Pearson (Thor: Ragnarok) delivering a decidedly stripped-back, lean and intellectual beast that bears greater resemblance to the more cerebral work of the Russo Brothers on their Captain America films than the more classically bombastic likes of Iron Man, Thor or the Avengers flicks, concentrating on story and characters over action and spectacle as we wind back the clock to before the events of Infinity War and Endgame, when Romanoff was on the run after Civil War, hunted by the government-appointed forces of US Secretary of State “Thunderbolt” Ross (William Hurt) after violating the Sokovia Accords.  Then a mysterious delivery throws her back into the fray as she finds herself targeted by a mysterious assassin, forcing her to team up with her estranged “sister” Yelena Belova (Midsommar’s Florence Pugh), another Black Widow who’s just gone rogue from the same Red Room Natasha escaped years ago, armed with a McGuffin capable of foiling a dastardly plot for world domination.  The reluctant duo need help in this endeavour though, enlisting the aid of their former “parents”, veteran Widow and scientist Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz) and Alexie Shostakov (Stranger Things’ David Harbour), aka the Red Guardian, a Russian super-soldier intended to be their counterpart to Captain America, who’s been languishing in a Siberian gulag for the last twenty years. After the Earth-shaking, universe-changing events of recent MCU events, this film certainly feels like a much more self-contained, modest affair, playing for much smaller stakes, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less worthy of our attention – this is as precision-crafted as anything we’ve seen from Marvel so far, but it also feels like a refreshing change of pace after all those enormous cosmic shenanigans, while the script is as tight as a drum, propelling a taut, suspense-filled thriller that certainly doesn’t scrimp on the action front.  Sure, the set-pieces are very much in service of the story here, but they’re still the pre-requisite MCU rollercoaster rides, a selection of breathless chases and bone-crunching fights that really do play to the strengths of one of our favourite Avengers, but this is definitely one of those films where the real fireworks come when the film focuses on the characters – Johansson is so comfortable with her character she’s basically BECOME Natasha Romanoff, kickass and ruthless and complex and sassy and still just desperate for a family (though she hides it well throughout the film), while Weisz delivers one of her best performances in years as a peerless professional who keeps her emotions tightly reigned in but slowly comes to realise that she was never more happy than when she was pretending to be a simple mother, and Ray Winstone does a genuinely fantastic job of taking a character who could have been one of the MCU’s most disappointingly bland villains, General Dreykov, master of the Red Room, and investing him with enough oily charisma and intense presence to craft something truly memorable (frustratingly, the same cannot be said for the film’s supposed main physical threat, Taskmaster, who performs well in their frustratingly brief appearances but ultimately gets Darth Maul levels of short service).  The true scene-stealers in the film, however, are Alexie and Yelena – Harbour’s clearly having the time of his life hamming it up as a self-important, puffed-up peacock of a superhero who never got his shot and is clearly (rightly) decidedly bitter about it, preferring to relive the life he SHOULD have had instead of remembering the good in the one he got; Pugh, meanwhile, is THE BEST THING IN THE WHOLE MOVIE, easily matching Johanssen scene-for-scene in the action stakes but frequently out-performing her when it comes to acting, investing Yelena with a sweet naivety and innocence and a certain amount of quirky geekiness that makes for one of the year’s most endearing female protagonists (certainly one who, if the character goes the way I think she will, is thoroughly capable of carrying the torch for the foreseeable future).  In the end this is definitely one of the LEAST typical, by-the-numbers MCU films to date, and by delivering something a little different I think they’ve given us just the kind of leftfield swerve the series needs right now.  It’s certainly one of their most fascinating and rewarding films so far, and since it seems to be Johansson’s final tour of duty as the Black Widow, it’s also a most fitting farewell indeed.

6.  WRATH OF MAN – Guy Ritchie’s latest (regarded by many as a triumphant return to form, which I consider unfair since I don’t think he ever went away, especially after 2020’s spectacular The Gentlemen) is BY FAR his darkest film – let’s get this clear from the start.  Anyone who knows his work knows that Ritchie consistently maintains a near flawless balance and humour and seriousness in his films that gives them a welcome quirkiness that is one of his most distinctive trademarks, so for him to suddenly deliver a film which takes itself SO SERIOUSLY is one hell of a departure.  This is a film which almost REVELS in its darkness – Ritchie’s always loved bathing in man’s baser instincts, but Wrath of Man almost makes a kind of twisted VIRTUE out of wallowing in the genuine evils that men are capable of inflicting on each other.  The film certainly kicks off as it means to go on – In a tour-de-force single-shot opening, we watch a daring armoured car robbery on the streets of Los Angeles that goes horrifically wrong, an event which will have devastating consequences in the future.  Five months later, Fortico Security hires taciturn Brit Patrick Hill (Jason Statham) to work as a guard in one of their trucks, and on his first run he single-handedly foils another attempted robbery with genuinely uncanny combat skills. The company is thrilled, amazed by the sheer ability of their new hire, but Hill’s new colleagues are more concerned, wondering exactly what they’ve let themselves in for.  After a second foiled robbery, it becomes clear that Hill’s reputation has grown, but fellow guard Haiden (Holt McCallany), aka “Bullet”, begins to suspect there might be something darker going on … Ritchie is firing on all cylinders here, delivering a PERFECT slow-burn suspense thriller which plays its cards close to its chest and cranks up its piano wire tension with artful skill as it builds to a devastating, knuckle-whitening explosive heist that acts as a cathartic release for everything that’s built up over the past hour and a half.  In typical Ritchie style the narrative is non-linear, the story unfolding in four distinct parts told from clearly differentiated points of view, allowing the clues to be revealed at a trickle that effortlessly draws the viewer in as they fall deeper down the rabbit hole, leading to a harrowing but strangely poignant denouement which is perfectly in tune with everything that’s come before. It’s an immense pleasure finally getting to see Statham working with Ritchie again, and I don’t think he’s ever been better than he is here – he's always been a brilliantly understated actor, but there’s SO MUCH going on under Hill’s supposedly impenetrable calm that every little peek beneath the armour is a REVELATION; McCallany, meanwhile, has landed his best role since his short but VERY sweet supporting turn in Fight Club, seemingly likeable and fallible as the kind of easy-going co-worker anyone in the service industry would be THRILLED to have, but giving Bullet far more going on under the surface, while there are uniformly excellent performances from a top-shelf ensemble supporting cast which includes Josh Hartnett, Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice, Sicario), Andy Garcia, Laz Alonso (The Boys), Eddie Marsan, Niamh Algar (Raised By Wolves) and Darrell D’Silva (Informer, Domina), and a particularly edgy and intense turn from Scott Eastwood.  This is one of THE BEST thrillers of the year, by far, a masterpiece of mood, pace and plot that ensnares the viewer from its gripping opening and hooks them right up to the close, a triumph of the genre and EASILY Guy Ritchie’s best film since Snatch.  Regardless of whether or not it’s a RETURN to form, we can only hope he continues to deliver fare THIS GOOD in the future …

5.  FEAR STREET (PARTS 1-3) – Netflix have gotten increasingly ambitious with their original filmmaking over the years, and some of this years’ offerings have reached new heights of epic intention.  Their most exciting release of the summer was this adaptation of popular children’s horror author R.L. Stine’s popular book series, a truly gargantuan undertaking as the filmmakers set out to create an entire TRILOGY of films which were then released over three consecutive weekends.  Interestingly, these films are most definitely NOT for kids – this is proper, no-holds-barred supernatural slasher horror, delivering highly calibrated shocks and precision jump scares, a pervading atmosphere of insidious dread and a series of inventively gruesome kills.  The story revolves around two neighbouring small towns which have had vastly different fortunes over more than three centuries of existence – while the residents of Sunnyvale are unusually successful, living idyllic lives in peace and prosperity, luck has always been against the people of Shadyside, who languish in impoverishment, crime and misfortune, while the town has become known as the Murder Capital of the USA due to frequent spree killings.  Some attribute this to the supposed curse of a local urban legend, Sarah Fier, who became known as the Fier Witch after her execution for witchcraft in 1668, but others dismiss this as simple superstition.  Part 1 is set in 1994, as the latest outbreak of serial mayhem begins in Shadyside, dragging a small group of local teens – Deena Johnson (She Never Died’s Kiana Madeira) and Samantha Fraser (Olivia Scott Welch), a young lesbian couple going through a difficult breakup, Deena’s little brother Josh (The Haunted Hathaways’ Benjamin Flores Jr.), a nerdy history geek who spends most of his time playing video games or frequenting violent crime-buff online chatrooms, and their delinquent friends Simon (Eight Grade’s Fred Hechinger) and Kate (Julia Rehwald) – into the age-old ghostly conspiracy as they find themselves besieged by indestructible undead serial killers from the town’s past, reasoning that the only way they can escape with their lives is to solve the mystery and bring the Fier Witch some much needed closure.  Part 2, meanwhile, flashes back to a previous outbreak in 1977, in which local sisters Ziggy (Stranger Things’ Sadie Sink) and Cindy Berman (Emily Rudd), together with future Sunnyvale sheriff Nick Goode (Ted Sutherland) were among the kids hunted by said killers during a summer camp “colour war”.  As for Part 3, that goes all the way back to 1668 to tell the story of what REALLY happened to Sarah Fier, before wrapping up events in 1994, culminating in a terrifying, adrenaline-fuelled showdown in the Shadyside Mall.  Throughout, the youthful cast are EXCEPTIONAL, Madeira, Welch, Flores Jr., Sink and Rudd particularly impressing, while there are equally strong turns from Ashley Zuckerman (The Code, Designated Survivor) and Community’s Gillian Jacobs as the grown-up versions of two key ’77 kids, and a fun cameo from Maya Hawke in Part 1.  This is most definitely retro horror in the Stranger Things mould, perfectly executed period detail bringing fun nostalgic flavour to all three of the timelines while the peerless direction from Leigh Janiak (Honeymoon) and wire-tight, sharp-witted screenplays from Janiak, Kyle Killen (Lone Star, The Beaver), Phil Graziadel, Zak Olkewicz and Kate Trefry strike a perfect balance between knowing dark humour and knife-edged terror, as well as weaving an intriguingly complex narrative web that pulls the viewer in but never loses them to overcomplication.  The design, meanwhile, is evocative, the cinematography (from Stanger Things’ Caleb Heymann) is daring and magnificently moody, and the killers and other supernatural elements of the film are handled with skill through largely physical effects.  This is definitely not a standard, by-the-numbers slasher property, paying strong homage to the sub-genre’s rules but frequently subverting them with expert skill, and it’s as much fun as it is frightening.  Give us some more like this please, Netflix!

4.  THE SPARKS BROTHERS – those who’ve been following my reviews for a while will known that while I do sometimes shout about documentary films, they tend to show up in my runners-up lists – it’s a great rarity for one to land in one of my top tens.  This lovingly crafted deep-dive homage to cult band Sparks, from self-confessed rabid fanboy Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim), is something VERY SPECIAL INDEED, then … there’s a vague possibility some of you may have heard the name before, and many of you will know at least one or two of their biggest hits without knowing it was them (their greatest hit of all time, This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us, immediately springs to mind), but unless you’re REALLY serious about music it’s quite likely you have no idea who they are, namely two brothers from California, Russell and Ronald Mael, who formed a very sophisticated pop-rock band in the late 60s and then never really went away, having moments of fame but mostly working away in the background and influencing some of the greatest bands and musical artists that followed them, even if many never even knew where that influence originally came from. Wright’s film is an engrossing joy from start to finish (despite clocking in at two hours and twenty minutes), following their eclectic career from obscure inception as Halfnelson, through their first real big break with third album Kimono My Place, subsequent success and then fall from popularity in the mid-70s, through several subsequent revitalisations, all the way up to the present day with their long-awaited cinematic breakthrough, revolutionary musical feature Annette – throughout Wright keeps the tone light and the pace breezy, allowing a strong and endearing sense of irreverence to rule the day as fans, friends and the brothers themselves offer up fun anecdotes and wax lyrical about what is frequently a larger-than-life tragicomic soap opera, utilising fun, crappy animation and idiosyncratic stock footage inserts alongside talking-head interviews that were made with a decidedly tongue-in-cheek style – Mike Myers good-naturedly rants about how we can see his “damned mole” while 80s New Romantic icons Nick Rhodes and John Taylor, while shot together, are each individually labelled as “Duran”.  Ron and Russ themselves, meanwhile, are clearly having huge fun, gently ribbing each other and dropping some fun deadpan zingers throughout proceedings, easily playing to the band’s strong, idiosyncratic sense of hyper-intelligent humour, while the aforementioned celebrity talking-heads are just three amongst a whole wealth of famous faces that may surprise you – there’s even an appearance by Neil Gaiman, guys!  Altogether this is 2+ hours of bright and breezy fun chock full of great music and fascinating information, and even hardcore Sparks fans are likely to learn more than a little over the course of the film, while for those who have never heard of Sparks before it’s a FANTASTIC introduction to one of the greatest ever bands that you’ve never heard of.  With luck there might even be more than a few new fans before the year is out …

3.  GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE – Netflix’ BEST offering of the summer was this surprise hit from Israeli writer-director Navot Papushado (Rabies, Big Bad Wolves), a heavily stylised black comedy action thriller that passes the Bechdel Test with FLYING COLOURS.  Playing like a female-centric John Wick, it follows ice-cold, on-top-of-her-game assassin Sam (Karen Gillan) as her latest assignment has some unfortunate side effects, leading her to take on a reparation job to retrieve some missing cash for the local branch of the Irish Mob.  The only catch is that a group of thugs have kidnapped the original thief’s little girl, 12 year-old Emily (My Spy’s Chloe Coleman), and Sam, in an uncharacteristic moment of sympathy, decides to intervene, only for the money to be accidentally destroyed in the process.  Now she’s got the Mob and her own employers coming after her, and she not only has to save her own skin but also Emily’s, leading her to seek help from the one person she thought she might never see again – her mother, Scarlet (Lena Headey), a master assassin in her own right who’s been hiding from the Mob herself for years.  The plot may be simple but at times also a little over-the-top, but the film is never anything less than a pure, unadulterated pleasure, populated with fascinating, living and breathing characters of real complexity and nuance, while the script (co-written by relative newcomer Ehud Lavski) is tightly-reined and bursting with zingers.  Most importantly, though, Papushado really delivers on the action front – these are some of the best set-pieces I’ve seen this year, Gillan, her co-stars and the various stunt-performers acquitting themselves admirably in a series of spectacular fights, gun battles and a particularly imaginative car chase that would be the envy of many larger, more expensive productions.  Gillan and Coleman have a sweet, awkward chemistry, the MCU star particularly impressing in a subtly nuanced performance that also plays beautifully against Headey’s own tightly controlled turn, while there is awesome support from Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh and Carla Gugino as Sam’s adoptive aunts Anna May, Florence and Madeleine, a trio of “librarians” who run a fine side-line in illicit weaponry and are capable of unleashing some spectacular violence of their own; the film’s antagonists, on the other hand, are exclusively masculine – the mighty Ralph Inneson is quietly ruthless as Irish boss Jim McAlester, while The Terror’s Adam Nagaitis is considerably more mercurial as his mad dog nephew Virgil, and Paul Giamatti is the stately calm at the centre of the storm as Sam’s employer Nathan, the closest thing she has to a father.  There’s so much to enjoy in this movie, not just the wonderful characters and amazing action but also the singularly engrossing and idiosyncratic style, deeply affecting themes of the bonds of found family and the healing power of forgiveness, and a rewarding through-line of strong women triumphing against the brutalities of toxic masculinity.  I love this film, and I invite you to try it out, cuz I’m sure you will too.

2.  THE SUICIDE SQUAD – the most fun I’ve had at the cinema so far this year is the long-awaited (thanks a bunch, COVID) redress of another frustrating imbalance from the decidedly hit and miss DCEU superhero franchise, in which Guardians of the Galaxy writer-director James Gunn has finally delivered a PROPER Suicide Squad movie after David Ayer’s painfully compromised first stab at the property back in 2016.  That movie was enjoyable enough and had some great moments, but ultimately it was a clunky mess, and while some of the characters were done (quite) well, others were painfully botched, even ruined entirely.  Thankfully Warner Bros. clearly learned their lesson, giving Gunn free reign to do whatever he wanted, and the end result is about as close to perfect as the DCEU has come to date.  Once again the peerless Viola Davis plays US government official Amanda Waller, head of ARGUS and the undisputable most evil bitch in all the DC Universe, who presides over the metahuman prisoners of the notorious supermax Belle Reve Prison, cherry-picking inmates for her pet project Taskforce X, the titular Suicide Squad sent out to handle the kind of jobs nobody else wants, in exchange for years off their sentences but controlled by explosive implants injected into the base of their skulls.  Their latest mission sees another motley crew of D-bags dispatched to the fictional South African island nation of Corto Maltese to infiltrate Jotunheim, a former Nazi facility in which a dangerous extra-terrestrial entity that’s being developed into a fearful bioweapon, with orders to destroy the project in order to keep it out of the hands of a hostile anti-American regime which has taken control of the island through a violent coup.  Where the first Squad felt like a clumsily-arranged selection of stereotypes with a few genuinely promising characters unsuccessfully moulded into a decidedly forced found family, this new batch are convincingly organic – they may be dysfunctional and they’re all almost universally definitely BAD GUYS, but they WORK, the relationship dynamics that form between them feeling genuinely earned.  Gunn has already proven himself a master of putting a bunch of A-holes together and forging them into band of “heroes”, and he’s certainly pulled the job off again here, dredging the bottom of the DC Rogues Gallery for its most ridiculous Z-listers and somehow managing to make them compelling.  Sure, returning Squad-member Harley Quinn (the incomparable Margot Robbie, magnificent as ever) has already become a fully-realised character thanks to Birds of Prey, so there wasn’t much heavy-lifting to be done here, but Gunn genuinely seems to GET the character, so our favourite pixie-esque Agent of Chaos is an unbridled and thoroughly unpredictable joy here, while fellow veteran Colonel Rick Flagg (a particularly muscular and thoroughly game Joel Kinnaman) has this time received a much needed makeover, Gunn promoting him from being the first film’s sketchily-drawn “Captain Exposition” and turning him into a fully-ledged, well-thought-out human being with all the requisite baggage, including a newfound sense of humour; the newcomers, meanwhile, are a thoroughly fascinating bunch – reluctant “leader” Bloodsport/Robert DuBois (a typically robust and playful Idris Elba), unapologetic douchebag Peacemaker/Christopher Smith (probably the best performance I’ve EVER seen John Cena deliver), and socially awkward and seriously hard-done-by nerd (and by far the most idiotic DC villain of all time) the Polka-Dot Man/Abner Krill (a genuinely heart-breaking hangdog performance from Ant-Man’s David Dastmalchian); meanwhile there’s a fine trio of villainous turns from the film’s resident Big Bads, with Juan Diego Botta (Good Behaviour) and Joaquin Cosio (Quantum of Solace, Narcos: Mexico) making strong impressions as newly-installed dictator Silvio Luna and his corrupt right hand-man General Suarez, although both are EASILY eclipsed by the typically brilliant Peter Capaldi as louche and quietly deranged supervillain The Thinker/Gaius Greives (although the film’s ULTIMATE threat turns out to be something a whole lot bigger and more exotic). The film is ROUNDLY STOLEN, however, by a truly adorable double act (or TRIPLE act, if you want to get technical) – Daniella Melchior makes her breakthrough here in fine style as sweet, principled and kind-hearted narcoleptic second-generation supervillain Ratcatcher II/Cleo Cazo, who has the weird ability to control rats (and who has a pet rat named Sebastian who frequently steals scenes all on his own), while a particular fan-favourite B-lister makes his big screen debut here in the form of King Shark/Nanaue, a barely sentient anthropomorphic Great White “shark god” with an insatiable appetite for flesh and a naturally quizzical nature who was brilliantly mo-capped by Steve Agee (The Sarah Silverman Project, who also plays Waller’s hyperactive assistant John Economos) but then artfully completed with an ingenious vocal turn from Sylvester Stallone. James Gunn has crafted an absolute MASTERPIECE here, EASILY the best film he’s made to date, a riotous cavalcade of exquisitely observed and perfectly delivered dark humour and expertly wrangled narrative chaos that has great fun playing with the narrative flow, injects countless spot-on in-jokes and irreverent but utterly essential throwaway sight-gags, and totally endears us to this glorious gang of utter morons right from the start (in which Gunn delivers what has to be one of the most skilful deep-fakes in cinematic history).  Sure, there’s also plenty of action, and it’s executed with the kind of consummate skill we’ve now come to expect from Gunn (the absolute highlight is a wonderfully bonkers sequence in which Harley expertly rescues herself from captivity), but like everything else it’s predominantly played for laughs, and there’s no getting away from the fact that this film is an absolute RIOT.  By far the funniest thing I’ve seen so far this year, and if I’m honest this is the best of the DCEU offerings to date, too (for me, only the exceptional Birds of Prey can compare) – if Warner Bros. have any sense they’ll give Gunn more to do VERY SOON …

1.  A QUIET PLACE, PART II – while UK cinemas finally reopened in early May, I was determined that my first trip back to the Big Screen for 2021 was gonna be something SPECIAL, and indeed I already knew what that was going to be. Thankfully I was not disappointed by my choice – 2018’s A Quiet Place was MY VERY FAVOURITE horror movie of the 2010s, an undeniable masterclass in suspense and sustained screen terror wrapped around a refreshingly original killer concept, and I was among the many fans hoping we’d see more in the future, especially after the film’s teasingly open ending.  Against the odds (or perhaps not), writer-director/co-star John Krasinski has pulled off the seemingly impossible task of not only following up that high-wire act, but genuinely EQUALLING it in levels of quality – picking up RIGHT where the first film left off (at least after an AMAZING scene-setting opening in which we’re treated to the events of Day 1 of the downfall of humanity), rejoining the remnants of the Abbott family as they’re forced by circumstances to up-sticks from their idyllic farmhouse home and strike out into the outside world once more, painfully aware at all times that they must maintain perfect silence to avoid the ravenous attentions of the lethal blind alien beasties that now sit at the top of the food chain.  Circumstances quickly become dire, however, and embattled mother Evelyn (Emily Blunt) is forced to ally herself with estranged family friend Emmett (Cillian Murphy), now a haunted, desperate vagrant eking out a perilous existence in an abandoned factory, in order to safeguard the future of her children Regan (Millicent Simmonds), Marcus (Noah Jupe) and their newborn baby brother.  Regan, however, discovers evidence of more survivors, and with her newfound weapon against the aliens she recklessly decides to set off on her own in the hopes of aiding them before it’s too late … it may only be his second major blockbuster as a director, but Krasinski has once again proven he’s a true heavyweight talent, effortlessly carving out fresh ground in this already magnificently well-realised dystopian universe while also playing magnificently to the established strengths of what came before, delivering another peerless thrill-ride of unbearable tension and knuckle-whitening terror.  The central principle of utilising sound at a very strict premium is once again strictly adhered to here, available sources of dialogue once again exploited with consummate skill while sound design and score (another moody triumph from Marco Beltrami) again become THE MOST IMPORTANT aspects of the whole production. The ruined world is once again realised beautifully throughout, most notably in the nightmarish environment of a wrecked commuter train, and Krasinski cranks up the tension before unleashing it in merciless explosions in a selection of harrowing encounters which guaranteed to leave viewers in a puddle of sweat.  The director mostly stays behind the camera this time round, but he does (obviously) put in an appearance in the opening flashback as the late Lee Abbott, making a potent impression which leaves a haunting absence that’s keenly felt throughout the remainder of the film, while Blunt continues to display mother lion ferocity as she fights to keep her children safe and Jupe plays crippling fear magnificently but is now starting to show a hidden spine of steel as Marcus finally starts to find his courage; the film once again belongs, however, to Simmonds, the young deaf actress once and for all proving she’s a genuine star in the making as she invests Regan with fierce wilfulness and stubborn determination that remains unshakeable even in the face of unspeakable horrors, and the relationship she develops with Emmett, reluctant as it may be, provides a strong new emotional focus for the story, Murphy bringing an attractive wounded humanity to his role as a man who’s lost anything and is being forced to learn to care for something again.  This is another triumph of the genre AND the artform in general, a masterpiece of atmosphere, performance and storytelling which builds magnificently on the skilful foundations laid by the first film, as well as setting things up perfectly for a third instalment which is all but certain to follow.  I definitely can’t wait.

[travel-hopefully]

A collective post of everything I watched on Netflix in 2020

I finally found the watch history function on Netflix which I wanted in order to reminisce over the TV/film I watched over the last year, including the good and the bad. I’ve included a little round-up of my thoughts for each, as lockdown has got me with plenty of time on my hands. If anyone has watched any of the below feel free to give me a message- happy to discuss anything!

Travelers (season 3) - this was an unforgettable show with some great characters and definitely put me through hell (in a good way), I am a David x Marcy shipper for sure!

IT Crowd (season 4 & 5) - my favourite comedy show ever, and I mean the UK version

Explained (random episodes) - interesting bite-sized episodes on a variety of topics

Sherlock (season 3 & 4) - it kinda went downhill from season 4...and doesn’t help that there is no season 5 in sight

Unforgettable - must be pretty forgettable cause I couldn’t remember watching, a typical revenge plot romp I think

The Mind, Explained - same as for Explained above, except more pyshcological

You (season 2) - binge-worthy! I love to hate Joe Goldberg.

Don’t F**k with Cats - wow, this was disturbing but so gripping.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - geniunely a good remake and rather amusing

Sex, Explained - as for Explained but a little more intriguing ;)

The Stranger (season 1) - full of suspense and a good binge watch but ultimately full of plot holes with an unsatisfying conclusion

Gavin & Stacey (season 3) - a classic which I only started watching in 2019

Sex Education (all of it) - comedy gold!

Unbelievable (limited series) - very harrowing, an emotional rollercoaster based on a real-life rape case

Atypical (all of it) - light-hearted and fun to binge

The Sinner (season 1) - it was okay... wasn’t spectacular compared to other similar dramas I’ve seen

Love Is Blind (season 1) - cringey but satisfying

In the Shadow of the Moon - I hardly remember this one :)

Dunkirk - a stand-out historical movie

The Stepfather - typical killer stepfather plot but rather enjoyable

The Super - an interesting premise, but not that super

Saw VI - all gore not much plot

Doctor Who (random episodes) - no words needed :D

Louis Theroux and Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends (random episodes) - I love his style of interviewing - what a man!

The Revenant - a lot of... well, not much

Nightcrawler - it was decent, but something was missing which I couldn’t put my finger on

How To Get Away With Murder (seasons 1-5) - probably my biggest new watch of the year, a rollercoaster of suspense, drama and murder, another season to go...

Ocean’s Eleven - fun but cheesey

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare - creepy faces and an interesting ending

Eli - it started one way then went another, I wasn’t convinced

Star Trek (2009) - I couldn’t really get into this one...

In the Tall Grass - a lot of running around in grass

Bloodride (season 1) - i loved this, a quirky idea, i binged it

Apostle - intense, a satisfying religious cult horror

The Platform - great idea, not sure on the ending

What Keeps You Alive - what happened in this one again?

History 101 - didn’t watch many episodes :P

The Prodigy - a decent child possession horror

Into the Night (season 1) - really enjoyed this, a highlight of the year for me, hoping for a season 2

It - pretty chilling and creepy, but a tad cheesey

Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - the first one has a brilliant dinosaur fight scene, the second one has too many plot holes and inconsistencies to take seriously

Knowing - a Nicholas Cage sci-fi/apocalpytic classic, pretty decent

Stranger Things (random episodes) - i tried to get my bf into the show but sadly he still isn’t much of a TV fan

Miranda (random episodes) - such fun!

Black Mirror (seasons 1 & 2) - another one i introduced the bf to, i got a bit further with him on this one, the very first episode being the highlight

The Last House on the Left - a decent remake, but nothing outstanding

Dark (season 3) - this, my friends, is one of the greatest shows of all time. want a timey-wimey story where everything is connected and has an amazingly satisfying conclusion? this is the show for you!

The Silence - a bad ‘A Quiet Place’

Geostorm - i’m a fan of disaster movies but this one wasn’t in the same league as some of the greats

Panic Room - a mum and kid hides in the panic room when a group of thugs break into the house, it was enjoyable but not all that memorable

Prisoners - a very long film with some enjoyable parts but overall unsatisfying

Girl on the Third Floor - it was okay, i can’t remember much of it

The Woods (season 1) - another Harlan Coben adaptation- not as good as ‘Safe’ or ‘The Stranger’ but still a gripping thriller

Time Trap - a fun time-travel film with some interesting turns of events

72 Dangerous/Cutest Animals (random episodes) - just ‘cause i love animals

Slasher (all of it) - some very gory deaths, especially in season 3. quite disturbing but keeps the suspense up throughout.

2012 - a guilty pleasure of mine, realistic or not

Kingsman: The Secret Service - a fun spy film, will be looking to watch the second one soon

Blackfish - this was harrowing, it really made me think, but overall i’m on the side of tilikum

Unsolved Mysteries (season 1 & 2) - watching some of these my jaw dropped, love theorising on this kind of stuff

Down to Earth with Zac Efron (season 1) - Zac is great in this, he seems so chill and literally ‘down to earth’

The Call - I love this film, seen it 3 times now

Contagion - very relatable right now, interesting to see the parallels with todays situation

Next in Fashion (season 1) - i didn’t get too far with this, i found it a little superficial

Searching - another of those internet web-cam based films. decent but not memorable.

Non-stop - another Nicholas Cage classic, this time a suspense thriller

Freaks - as the title suggests this one was rather weird, i didn’t quite gel with it

The Perfection - wow, that was an experience. definitely memorable, even if some characters make questionable decisions...

Extraction - not usually a fan of action-type thrillers, but i actually enjoyed this one, plus it has Chris Hemsworth in it!

Line of Duty (season 2) - full of suspense, a great build-up in the first 5 episodes, but the way they tied it up really grated on me 

Insidious - watched this one with my sister. a genuinely good horror film on rewatch with an amazing cliff-hanger

A Quiet Place - another one watched with my sister. labelled a horror but its more sci-fi, either way its a classic. bring on the second film!

The Dark Tower - disappointing mostly.

Gladiator - i’d never seen this before and now i understand the hype- what an epic movie!

Criminal UK (season 2) - didn’t disappoint following the exceptional first season

Venom - a fun comedic marvel film, definitely need to watch more from Marvel in the next year- i need an order to watch them in as don’t know where to start

Our Planet (season 1) - chill David Attenborough to put on in the background

The Equalizer - a great action revenge thriller plot with a badass Denzel

Merlin (random episodes) - who doesn’t love a trip down memory lane with some nostalgic bbc merlin?

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - pretty scary remake

The Witcher (season 1) - rewatched in order to familiarise myself again before season 2 - i didn’t realise how funny the show was until this time round, gotta love Jaskier!

American Murder: The Family Next Door - this was haunting

The Haunting of Bly Manor - phenomenal, emotional, creepy, heartbreaking - i much preferred it to Hill House

Abducted in Plain Sight - seriously, how naive are the parents in this? i could have a rant for hours about this!

The End of the F***ing World (seasons 1 & 2) - very bingeable, Alyssa makes me laugh too much, i love how relatable the show is

Fractured - didn’t expect much from this consipiracy-type film but it kept me guessing right till the end

The Ripper (limited series) - very intriguing, but the mysogyny in this was shocking

Inconceivable - a typical mother looking for her baby revenge plot but still entertaining

The Midnight Sky - i’d heard rave reviews for this but was disappointed by a lacklustre plot which was sacrificed for award-winning cinematography

Killer Women with Piers Morgan (season 2) - a pyschological interview series which looks into the mind of murderers, rather interesting

May the Devil Take You - scarier and jumpier than i thought it would be!

So 2020 obviously gave me a lot of time to watch a s**t load of stuff and looking back at it i feel like i got a decent amount of my watch-list ticked off! And obviously this is not including shows watched on other media so there’s that too (a special shout-out to the William Hartnell era of Doctor Who which I watched this year on BritBox). In all, 2020 has definitely introduced me to a few new fandoms and progressed my love for others. 

[obeymeluv]

Hi lovely! I’m not sure if your requests are open but I just worked out for the first time since ive gotten super depressed! It might not be that big of a deal but can I get some geadcannons on how the brothers would react to this? (: (their lover working out for the first time in months because of their mental illness)

I respect this so hard and am super proud of you. I have similar struggles so it always makes me happy to see someone able to get back up. Good job :) These headcanons will be short because I’m getting ready for bed and have to get into school mode, but here you go! ♥ 

Lucifer

It wasn’t uncommon for him to wake you up, or even gently start the day by sitting at your bedside and whispering sweet nothings

He opens the door soundlessly, as always, and is quite surprised to see you in the middle of doing a yoga series. Thankfully, your back is to the door

Pride blossoms in his chest and, for the first time, it doesn’t feel heavy like the burden of his sin

It’s warm and joyful and feels like an old memory of the Celestial Realm, a call back to happier days

His eyes mist over a bit but no one can confirm it

Lucifer is a perfect, beautiful statue that watches for a few poses before slowly inching back towards the doorway to peek around the corner

Pretends like he never saw anything when you go about the rest of your day, but is absolutely glowing when he looks at you.

Lavishes you in his fancy praise, as always. (”You look enchanting, my love. Simply radiant today.”)

Mammon

He’ll deny it to the day he dies, but he craves your company.

Actually, he’s more likely to admit it when you’re in a depressive episode because you’re tender and vulnerable and that’s how he really is when he lets his guard down. That’s when people need the most love, and you’ve put him back together so much that he wants to repay the favor 1,000x fold

Mammon’s very surprised to see you running careful laps up one set of stairs and down the set on the other end of the hallway (that explains why it took him so long to find you).

It’s like speed walking. He watches for a lap and a half to make sure you’re not rushing off anywhere. You know, making sure nothing’s serious

When he realizes you’re exercising in earnest he’s super stoked. Like, #1 hype man.

“That’s my human! Yeah!” Mammon becomes your cheerleader

Drops sly comments about how it’s actually a good glute workout and he’ll give you a massage afterwards

Keeps up with you more than you’d expect (models train hard, okay?) but does get bored. Maintains cheer position

Carries you around the rest of the day when your legs are sore

Levi

Levi had to do a fair bit of research on depression when he realized you weren’t converting to being a fellow otaku shut-in

The two of you still enjoyed cuddle times, and sometimes he could engage you in games, but the health of his beloved was important! Humans couldn’t be without exercise for too long or it would be bad for them

It’s super awkward but he tries to invite you swimming and things. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy. He understands, and is totally down for cuddling you (with partial back rubs) while playing games

Makes sure you eat and definitely splits his rations

Enjoys the small walks from his room to yours, and makes sure you guys drift between them a couple of times a day. That helps humans, right?

Levi realizes fairly quickly that you haven’t been to his room in a while and goes to check on you

You’re hopping in patterns across the floor, slowly making your way to his room.

You look like you’re having fun!

He’s not sure what you’re doing, but you hop, you squat, then you lunge.

You lock eyes with Levi mid-lunge and wobble a bit. He’s a little pink in the face, but because he’s laughing in sheer delight at how spooked you looked.

You end up flopping over and Levi crouches beside you, offering his hand

When he hears you finally had a burst of energy and wanted to work out, to start over again, he’s very proud of you

May or may not have compared you to Henry and shared some of the more harrowing moments the hero went through (also how he’s awesome and came back better than ever!)

Invites you for a swim and you actually accept

After some laps and splashing about, you spend time floating and cuddling

Satan

Depression is sometimes just a thing humans go through, Satan is finding out.

Between Devildom books and human books, he kind of understands

It’s a thing of time, and sometimes other methods help. He personally thinks the lack of sun in the Devildom is the main culprit

Gives you healthy snacks and tracks down vitamins

Tries to get you to walk the gardens but realizes he can’t force it

Sometimes he gets you outside, reading under trees and lanterns

Satan roamed the House of Lamentation, intending to steal you for another outside reading session, and was surprised to find you out there already

He watched from a high window, peeking tentatively from behind the thick curtain, and let the amused smile cut his lips

Suddenly, you disappeared out of sight. Satan waited for what felt like ages until the logic of ‘the fastest way between Point A and B is a straight line’ kicked in. He held his book carefully, unlatched the window, and jumped out

Demons have good joints and sturdier bodies. The drop and landing was nothing for him.

He calls your name and starts walking around.

It’s not until he’s made a full lap and you’re giggling (behind him somehow?) that he realizes you’re just leisurely walking laps around the house

Super embarrassed that he got worried (and that you ended up behind him). Jumps when you touch his shoulders or if you hugged him around the waist

You’re happy and...yourself for the first time in a while and Satan’s heart is so happy. Before you can break the hug, he twines his fingers with yours and just holds your hand to his body

Eventually you break away, kiss his shoulders, and start a game of tag that turns into sky-watching, and laying on his chest as he reads 

Asmodeus

He knows how to break hearts but he ALSO knows how to fix him

He’s always trying to get his brothers to hang out and make good memories. Despite what he says and how he acts, he really cares for them from the bottom of his heart

You count, too. You’re like, top tier. Basically family. VIP space. Maybe SPOUSE space (but that’s too fast for a human, right?)

Though rare and private, Asmo has his bad days, too. They can either be fixed, or they can’t. Usually things are just distractions. The heart will heal in its own time.

Asmo went to your room with the latest round of pampering but stopped short of announcing himself. Does he hear...music?

Nudging the door open with his foot, his eyes light up so pink the gradient is disappearing.

You’re dancing and humming, making faces at yourself in the mirror.

His heart clenches with a beautiful pain because you’re so vibrant and lively and he knows it was hard for you to find this again

The pampering is abandoned for an impromptu PRIVATE dance party

Silly and sweet things, waltzing and just being close, hugging as you sway side to side

Lots of forehead kisses and pet names.

Beelzebub

He didn’t think your behavior was out of the ordinary since Belphie slept a lot.

Beel is always motivated by something--food, sports, working out, family stuff--so he’s not familiar with the lack of desire to do anything

When he learns you’re not just catching up on sleep and you might be having a rough time, he asks Lucifer and Satan what to do

They decide you should work out. That releases endorphins in humans and that sounds like what you need!

The attempts don’t go well, but you’ll at least come out of your room and be a resistance weight for him

Beel went into the weight room to do some pre-warm up exercises. He was mentally planning his reps and figuring out what muscle groups were on the schedule when he heard the clinking of weights

His brothers had other ways of working out so that meant only one person could be in the weight room

Beelzebub stamped down the urge to rush in and watch you in all your occupied glory, reminding himself you could drop a weight on yourself (or worse)

His purr gives him away

He’s proud, borderline excited, and just purrs long and loud from the entryway

Jumps into the workout with you, doing light exercises

Beel gets a little playful adjusting your posture, but it’s all sweet hugs and rocking you back and forth

Regardless of what muscle groups were on the schedule for the day, it’s arm day because he’s lifting you up, throwing you a little, and catching you in his arms

Give this happy, snuggly boy some kisses  

Belphegor

He can sense your state of mind by the nature of his sin. He sleeps a lot and has a knack for telling when someone’s sleep is anything but restful

Belphegor’s not 100% sure, but he thinks he can tap into your dream space. There’s this little ball of sad-tired-something that lets him know you’re not okay

There’s quiet mini-dates that ease the sting of your sadness, but he knows it’s not enough

When he sleeps, he has dreams about you being happy and hopes he can push them into your mind

Cuddles fix things. He’s down for couple naps.

Belphegor goes in and out of sleep; it’s during one of his periods of waking that he notices you’re not there

Hugging his pillow, he shuffles about the House of Lamentation to find you

He finds you cleaning and organizing the kitchen. Cleaning is a sign of healing, right? Lots of movement?

Belphegor realizes you’re doing more than cleaning. You’re stretching and lifting things like they’re Beel’s weights

It looks time-consuming, and like you’ve been at it for a while

Belphie plonks his head on your shoulder, asking how you’re feeling. He’s got that sleepy Cheshire Cat smile

You’re just as happy as can be, happier than he’s seen you in a while, and you celebrate by stealing a bunch of snacks and making a blanket fort in his room 

Hope you liked it :)

[ivory-sunflower]

Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx 

29/11/2020

[rookisaknight]

Raf Tanager, meet Hope County

⤘⤘⤘There’s a new Deputy in Town⬽⬽⬽

So as a side benefit of getting into this fandom again with a brand new gender and a brand new vibe: a brand new deputy. Excited to introduce you all to my boy, they were developed for a joint Deputy au with @ophiebot​ (who will do this for their Deputy Elijah Rook if so inclined). Not exactly reinventing any wheels here, but this time its about the indulgence.

FYI, Molly is still extant, but her story I think has been explored in my brainspace as much as it needs to be. 

➷The Basics

1. Give their full name, and describe them or post a picture! (Height, build, hair, eye, and skin color, etc.)

Rafael "Raf" Tanager (birth name REDACTED). 5'4", prone to chub but hardening up with the frequent exercise, solid build. Freckles on cheeks that darken as time goes on. Short hair kept red by some truly obsessive hairdye upkeep, which is harder than you might think. Hazel eyes. Burns and shrapnel scars around the eyes and mouth.

2. How old are they?

24

3. Sexuality and gender?

Bisexual, transmasc genderqueer. She/they/he but a preference for they/he when he doesnt trust the person using them.

➵Pre-Game

1. How did they end up at the Hope County Sheriff’s Department? How long have they worked there?

Raf grew up closer to Missoula, but he’s still a Montana native. They’ve been at this for around 8 months, pretty much right out of graduating college. Even they honestly aren’t sure how they ended up here, just the latest in a series of adrift jobs after graduating, taken primarily to avoid any potential financial dependence on their  family. Probably would have resigned soon were it not for. Everything.

2. Relationship with Pratt, Hudson, and Whitehorse?

Pratt: Used to hate his guts. The teasing felt too much like flirting for their comfort and he was honestly kind of a bully. Now its trickier. He's pathetic in a way that’s hard for them to be around, as awful as that is, because it hits too close to home.

Hudson: Had a massive crush on her for most of their early days that pretty much went out the window post Eden’s Gate. They still try a little too hard to impress her though.

Whitehorse: Intellectually, they resent his passivity since it means a lot of Eden’s Gate ended up falling in their lap and he’s STILL insistent that maybe they should have left it alone when they’ve all had months to realize why that was a bad idea in the first place. Emotionally, well, they’re maybe a little in need of a father figure or two.

Elijah Rook: The former Rookie. They were quietly a little intimidated by him prior to all this and that’s never fully gone away, but they’ve now been able to witness more of his dorky side that makes it a little harder to take him seriously. You try chaperoning this guy from one end of Hope County and considering him at all frightening.

3. Do they have an education?

They have a MASTERS and its never relevant to anything because its a humanities degree, specifically the classics. Part of the reason they’re a little adrift currently, there was no easy dismount out of college. Just a hell of a lot of debt.

4. Where are they from? Did they speak a different language there?

Missoula, or close enough to it. They picked up some Latin and Greek from their degree. The Latin comes in handy more often than you’d think, what with the cult stuff, but the reading material is a real bummer.

5. Is there anyone outside the valley that might have come looking for them?

They’ve never had many friends in college and high school that could outlast physical proximity and they basically ghosted their family since that was easier than coming out to them at a certain point. So no, no one they want to find them is looking.

6. Did they have a religious background of any kind?

His father is a preacher, and while there’s some baggage there they would still describe themselves as broadly religious. Or at the very least superstitious.

➷Inside Hope County

1. What was going through their head when the helicopter went down and during the subsequent chase?

The crash was honestly the easiest part. That was just panic. The chase was the hard part. The helicopter exploding ended up catching them in the face, leaving them with burns and scarring that would remain for the rest of their life. She's lucky she wasn’t blinded. Still, he was forced to stumble out of the woods in intense pain and bleeding out. Had it not been for Elijah they definitely would have been taken then and there.

2. Were they afraid of Joseph and Eden’s Gate? Angry?

Terrified. Not just because of what they’ve done but because Raf knows intuitively that he's susceptible to it. As early as their first encounter they have a hard time breaking the hold Joseph gets on their mind. Even though they’re conscious of HOW they’re being manipulated, its hard to resist it.

3. Did they trust Dutch?

At that point Raf would’ve happily taken literally anyone who seemed to know what they’re doing and wasn’t holding a gun to his head.

4. How did they feel about their team being taken by the cult, did they count them as lost, did they want them back, did they not care?

Absolutely the nightmare scenario: people’s lives depending on them and their ability to be decisive. Had it not been for Elijah they probably would’ve high tailed it out of there and tried to find someone higher up the authority chain to deal with this mess. Still, just abandoning them all didn’t sit right with him either, and by the time they’d liberated Fall’s End even he had to admit he was there by his own choice.

5. How did they take to the idea of being part of, if not leading, the resistance?

Again, Raf doesn’t really do well with people depending on them. Alone. they probably would have found it a lot more miserable, but Elijah significantly helped lighten that load for them in terms of having a direction. They’ve found out they’re accidentally pretty good at working with a variety of people and can even be inspiring without meaning to. Still, in their ideal world they would’ve been left alone, or at least remained a foot soldier.

6. Which companions did they recruit, and who did they travel with the most?

All guns for hire were recruited, but Sharky and Nick were their go-to’s, Sharky for personal reasons and Nick for air support. Grace was usually the adult supervision when Nick couldn’t make it but. To be frank Raf's aim isn’t great and it drives Grace a little nuts on prolonged missions. She’s tried teaching them but it never really seems to stick.

7. Did they have time to find romance amidst the chaos? How did they do it?

Sharky. That relationship was a bit of a cold opener  (and don’t bother, Sharky already beat you to that joke). After getting their face fucked up during the escape they’ve had a pretty healthy aversion to fire and explosives, making his recruitment a little harrowing. Still, Sharky's sweet in his way, makes them laugh and breathe a little easier when the pressure gets to them, and operates on a pretty similar brainwave. They’ve been joined at the hip since their first few months in Holland Valley. They’re both a little on the codependent side, but really, who are they to complain.

8. Feelings about Joseph?

Joseph taps into a lot of vulnerabilities inside of Raf intuitively. The absence of a strong support system, the loneliness, the fear, the directionlessness, the relationship with their own spirituality, it all provides him a unique entryway into their psyche that he is exactly the kind of person to exploit. As a result, he tends to fixate on them over Elijah, usually to their detriment. Still, that connection can sometimes go both ways, and there are things about Joseph that Raf understands which even his brothers never fully do.

9. Feelings about the other Seeds?

John: They have a unique capacity for antagonizing him. Probably because as an oldest child themselves they know exactly how to jab at the youngest child insecurities. Still, that relationship didn’t stem any deeper and he focused his energies a little more on Elijah. Still, they have him to thank for the Sloth scars on their arm, thanks for that. They’re starting to run out of unmarked skin.

Faith: Faith, meanwhile, was a little more directly focused on Raf, partly because her region was the first time they had to operate a little more on their own. For personal reasons, Elijah wasn’t particularly able to engage with the Bliss. Meaning if Burke was ever going to get saved Raf had to be the one to go in there, again and again. Faith, like Joseph, can tap a lot of that loneliness that Raf has, as well as some gender and sexuality stuff Joseph can’t touch. Suffice to say Sharky had a pretty good reason for being as overbearing as he was during those months, even though he was eventually able to do the job. As a side note, they haven’t had access to their ADHD meds for MONTHS and it doesn’t help when the cult drug is the first thing to make your head feel clear in a while.

Jacob: Jacob was utterly uninterested in Raf and the feeling was mostly mutual. He doesn’t really get him or what he’s about, just knows that the county would be better off when he was put down. Transition goals, though (don’t tell Staci they said that).

10. How did they handle having to kill animals and other humans? Had they done it before?

Animals yeah, you don’t live in Montana as long as they did without hunting occasionally. People....well. You can get used to it.

11. Which canon ending did they choose in-game, and would you have changed the ending at all?

Resist. I wouldn’t. Raf might.

➷Personal

1. Favorite weapon(s)?

They usually prefer to show up to spots early and lay traps, try to minimize the direct combat involvement. When it can’t be avoided though, their pistol isn’t ever far and neither is a hunting knife.

2. Stealth or firepower?

Stealth, one hundred percent. Sharky and Eli are here to do the firepower.

3. How did they spend their time, when not fighting peggies?

A lot of bad movies with the boyfriend and a LOT of poker, one of their more unknown talents. Resistance isn’t gonna fund itself.

4. Where did they live during the events of the game?

Wherever there was a bed they could fall into. Their little trailer they’d been living in prior to all this got absolutely decimated while they were healing up on Dutch’s island.

5. Any other facts you want to share about your Deputy!

He’s got almost supernatural luck to the point that a couple of their guns for hire have gotten superstitious about bringing him to certain events. Including fishing. The catch just always seems somehow a little better. Also he’s privately obsessed with the 1998 recording of Cats and is terrified of anyone finding out.

[oikawa-tuwu]

Porch (gn!Reader x Kuroo)

Rated G, 1.6k words

Not Home for the Holidays Masterlist

"Have you ever made a snowman?"

It’s ten in the morning, and you are starting to get concerned.

There he is again, that man, lingering in front of the bay window facing the front lawn, gazing wistfully at the falling snow.

How long has he been there? Since breakfast, at least. Was he there last night, too? Watching those first flakes fall, dusting everything with a little bit of soft white powder. Either way, the man doesn’t look like he plans on moving anytime soon.

And, yeah, maybe there isn’t much to do otherwise. Most of the attractions of the local town were more summer-based, so many of your guests this time of year are just looking for an escape from their regular life, an excuse to do nothing and watch the snow fall. Writers on a retreat, hoping for a strike of inspiration for their next project. Business-men, on the search for a cheap escape from city life. People looking to spend the holidays somewhere that wasn’t their cold, empty apartments.

Still, watching that man sit, frozen,  entranced by the snow outside, was definitely starting to get concerning.

 Whatever. You have chores to do.

 And then the man moved.

That  was the last straw. A couple hours later, when you pass through the entryway, from the stairs to the sitting room to take a break, you notice the man is gone. After a glance outside the windows, you spot him on the porch. Outside. In the freezing cold winter weather.

You watch him for a second, as he leans against the porch railing, still staring at the falling snow.

With a resigned sigh, you reach for your jacket and boots, and follow him outside.

“Hi,” you say, as you sidle up next to him. “Kuroo, right?”

“Yeah,” he answers, but he sounds a little surprised to see you there. “And you… work here at the bed and breakfast?”

“I  own the bed and breakfast,” you correct. “The name’s Y/n.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Peaceful, as you both watch your breath in the chilly air. However, you're thinking, trying desperately to perfectly enunciate the worries on your mind, but there’s no subtle way to inquire if your guest is doing alright, mentally, without sounding abrasive or like you're trying to be an armchair psychologist. Maybe you should just come right out and ask it? Hey, guest of mine, how's it going in that head of yours?

But, before you can, Kuroo murmurs, quietly, “Picture perfect snow. It looks like the opening to a Hallmark movie.”

“Or a horror movie,” you suggest instead, and Kuroo laughs. “A body, murdered in the study, with a blanket undisturbed fresh snow surrounding the isolated bed and breakfast.”

Kuroo, gleefully playing along, gasps, dramatically, “The murderer is one of the guests! Harrowing!”

“A real Agatha Christie.”

Kuroo laughs again. Not a polite laugh to ease the tension or to acknowledge the effort of the joke without condoning it either, but a full-blown, mirthy laugh, uncontained and a little on the side of  cackle-y.

With some of the tension in the air cleared by humor, you find it a little bit easily to ask the question. “Is there a… particular reason you’re out here alone, rather than warming up by the fireplace?”

Kuroo doesn’t answer immediately, just stares out into the white expanse for a couple more seconds. Finally, he asks, “Have you ever made a snowman?”

That definitely wasn't what you expected him to say, but you nod your head anyways. “When I was a kid. Have you not?”

“No,” he says, eyes still on the falling snow. “My sister’s a lot older, so she never wanted to do stuff like that with me, and Kenma… well, Kenma doesn’t like going outside.”

“This Kenma sounds like a smart person.”

“He is,” Kuroo agrees, wholeheartedly. “Smarter than me at least.”

And there it is again, that flash of just a little bit of sadness, a little bit of gloom in the corner of his eye. Kuroo’s frowning, not with his lips, which are still in a polite narrow smile, but with his eyes, and the expression makes you frown.

It’s the holidays! Your guests can’t be sad! What kind of host would you be if you let him mope around about a missed childhood?

“Well,” you say, before you can think otherwise, “Do you want to build a snowman?”

Kuroo laughs, but quickly realizes that you  aren’t  laughing  , and he gapes at you. “Oh, you were serious!”

You shrug. “Why not?”

“Because,” Kuroo starts, but it takes him a second to figure out an actual excuse. “Don’t you have things to do?”

“I just have to cook dinner. That gives us a couple hours to act like children again.”

Kuroo frowns, for real this time, and you can see the gears grinding in his brain, as he thinks, processes, argues between the two options. It’s a painfully long process, and your fingers twitch with anticipation at his response. 

“Let’s do it,” Kuroo finally says, and you see that little frown break out into a full-fledged grin, one so infectious that you feel  yourself starting to grin and then both of you are bounding as quickly as you can down the porch stairs without slipping on the ice, giggling as you start to gather the snow.

It’s been a while since you’ve done this, to say the least, so it takes a few minutes to re-acquaint yourself with the snow. Forming a little ball of snow in your gloved hands, you slowly start to roll it, gathering more and more of the white powder.

Kuroo is a quick learner, apparently, because after only a few minutes of watching you work, he’s started on his own, talking as he works.

It’s a little bit of a struggle to keep a conversation going, as most of your brain is focused on making the best snowman body ever and trying to ignore the cold biting into your nose and cheeks, but the both of you make it work.

Gradually, you learn about him. You learn that he’s a sports promoter that used to play volleyball, and his childhood best friend’s name is Kenma. You learn his favorite food is fish and he wanted to be a doctor until his first year of college when he switched majors, and you learn the reason why he’s spending the holidays alone at a bed and breakfast, hundreds of miles away from Tokyo.

“My family went on vacation abroad,” he says, as he leans against his sizable snowball, taking a much needed rest from your hard work. “I couldn’t go because of work, and Kenma is visiting his friend in Rio.” He shrugs, trying to appear more nonchalant about it than he clearly feels. “I didn’t want to intrude on the holidays of any of my other friends and their families.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t see it as intruding,” you say, gently. “But, of course, you’re welcome to spend them here instead, if you would like. It’s probably not preferable to family or friends, but…”

“Who says spending the holidays with you isn’t preferable?” Kuroo asks, with a grin that makes your heart skip a beat.

What was that about a Hallmark movie?

Your snowman is done much quicker than you expected. Much quicker than you liked.

Kuroo, before you can even offer, assembles the snowman for you, grunting and heaving as he places his artfully-crafted snowball head on the torso. It’s a little crooked, and, in all honesty, a little pathetic, but you both smile at it.

“Wait,” you say, remembering the bag of carrots in the back of the vegetable drawer. “I’ll be right back.”

You’re certain that you’re tracking snow through the house, but it's fine, you’ll mop later.  This is more important right now. In just a few moments, you have a carrot clutched in your hands, and you skid to a pause in front of the coat closet by the front door. Thankfully, you find a forgotten scarf from two seasons ago, and the hat you keep in there just in case of an emergency bad hair day, and bound down the porch steps towards Kuroo.

“Ta-da!” you announce, raising the accessories (and one carrot) like a hard-won trophy. “Would you like to do the honors?”

With you bracing the back of the head, Kuroo gladly sticks in the makeshift nose, and both of you are full-on giggling as you put on the hat and wrap the scarf around the snowman’s nonexistent neck.

You step back together, simultaneously, admiring your collective handiwork. Kuroo snaps a picture.

“He’s beautiful,” you say.

“Truly a masterpiece,” Kuroo agrees. "Who knew that the two of us could make such a beautiful son?"

You glance over at him, and he glances over to you, and then both of you are laughing again, laughing so hard your stomach hurts and you're wheezing, and just as you have the brief passing thought that you can’t remember the last time a single person has made you laugh this much in a couple hours, Kuroo’s phone rings.

He stops laughing, but still smiles when he reads the caller ID, sending an apologetic glance your way as he answers the phone.

“Hey Kenma,” he says into the phone. “Did you like the snowman? Well, that’s not very nice. We worked hard on him, you know.”

You snicker, which makes him snicker, but the expression fades as he listens to the voice on the other end of the phone.

“Yeah, I’m done with work for now, but I have to be back in Tokyo on the first. No, no, save your money. Okay,  show-off . Truly Kenma, I’m okay here. Have fun with Shoyou.”

Kenma, on the other line, says something, but it's quiet and unintelligible. Kuroo cheeks, already flushed from the cold wind, blush a little more.

“I’m hanging up now,” Kuroo says. “Don't forget to get me a souvenir."

Kuroo laughs at something to quiet for you to hear, and hangs up, tucking his phone back into his pocket.

“You're not going to Rio too?”

“Nah,” Kuroo says, shrugging nonchalantly. You note, with a little satisfaction, that sad look in his eyes is gone, replaced with a bright grin. “I think I’ll be plenty at home here.”

Happy Hanukkah!! Thanks for reading, I hope yall have a great week. See you on 12/15 for Kiyoko's!