#Autism guy - Panic guy

[toadboatt]

Im about to tell my sisters im trans. Fuck me oh fuck im so fucking scared im shaking lmao save me

[mobblespsycho100]

"Timo and Mickey's complex friendship in Mickey 17 (2025) is just as important and vital to the plot as Nasha and Mickey's romantic relationship." I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

"It is right," he says. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 3rd row stands: Director of Mickey 17, Bong Joon Ho.

[desertfangs]

I'm reading Fern Brady's book Strong Female Character about her experience as a late-diagnosed woman with austism and the first chapter is so relatable. This paragraph reached out and smacked me in the face:

If you've ever been on a night out where you got blackout drunk and have laughed the next day as your friends tell you all the stupid stuff you said, that's what being autistic feels like for me: one long blackout night of drinking except there's no socially sanctioned excuse for your gaffes and no one's laughing.

I could probably talk about this for hours, but yes, that. It's like you think you're acting like everyone else (or you're doing your damndest to do so) but eventually you do or say something wrong, and everyone backs away slowly.

[deeisace]

..

[fishparasite]

just thought "he should be at the club" about one of my characters. girl he should NOT be at the club he'd hate it even though he'd want to like it.

[warmafternoon]

Ok don't worry about me at all, I'm like fine now, but I was having a half-breakdown for the past like 4 days, and cause my poll blew up around the same time, I kept getting pinged with notifs and some of you guys have the funniest users and blog names, or some of your tags have me cry-laughing, so thanks for being so funny and silly, kept me a little sane.

Poll in question ^

DW about most of the tags they're just for the poll.

Might make another post when the blog is done highlighting some of the tags that have me in stitches lol.

[distortedwhite]

what if i do it anyway. he's a himbo and i love him <333

[mrcrawly]

MORE house MD headcanons (just hilson)

finished season 2 officially FINALLY. took forever. anyway these freaks live in the little furrows of my brain and eat my grey matter so here's this

House:

had multiple deadly allergies as a kid that he grew out of as an adult for some reason

the pickiest eater you have ever seen. the canned soup is not a laziness thing he's just afraid to waste his money on shit he won't eat

composes his own songs on the piano when he's got time but never writes then down, freestyles that shit

DEFINITELY has some pot he smokes a few times a year

obviously when Wilson learns this he's concerned that maybe it's laced and is like House where are you getting this and House literally tells him the exact location on the exact part of town on the exact street and where the guy normally is on weekdays because he assumes Wilson wanted in on it

subconsciously thinks of Chase, Cameron, and Foreman as his children. of course he doesn't realize it nor would he ever admit it so don't misinterpret but lwk worries about them a lot and talks about them to acquaintances in such a way that multiple people actually think he has three grown up children

gets overstimulated fairly easily but not the shut-down-get-quiet overstimulation he starts yelling and hitting things and getting pissed off

has bad anxiety but in the opposite way most people do. doesn't get anxious in most social situations at all whatsoever but give that man ten minutes alone with his thoughts in his own house and he's sweating

doesn't sing but has perfect pitch. sometimes someone in the office will hum something or make a noise and he'll just absently go "E flat" (based on one of my irl friends noah you won't see this but you freak me the fuck out with that)

runs cold all year (something something universal recipient)

eventually stops drinking because it gives him panic attacks and nightmares

sad weepy drunk

pretends not to care about patients but there have been several times that a patient died and made him completely shut down for days at a time

views his disability as something to compensate for

if House MD took place in the modern day he would definitely have a twitch live stream about a patient to get idea

chronic nail biter

most definitely would own one of those massive fucking brick flip phones even if the show was set today

he doesn't know what OS stands for. couldn't tell you what a USB-C looked like if his life depended on it. wouldn't be very good at operating a smart phone. has an extremely durable cheap phone because he's always dropping and/or throwing it

Wilson:

lactose intolerant methinks

or possibly gluten sensitive

would still eat gluten bread and dairy products regardless

never quite got the hang of chopsticks. if he gets sushi or Chinese takeout with House, House makes that little chopsticks contraption for him

do you guys know what im talking about

the kind of autism that makes you feel bad about everything ever all the time and obsessed with a particular thing

definitely collected baseball cards at some point in his life

doesn't really keep kosher but hates most meat so he rarely ends up mixing dairy and meat anyways

if you gave him one of those Nee Doh nice cube things he would sit there and play with that shit for hours at a time

if he was born in the right generation he would have loved slime as a kid

ended up really close with House's team

does marching Halloween costumes with House every single year

House actually doesn't like Halloween (lots of walking) but it makes Wilson happy so usually he agrees

one year they went as American Gothic (House insisted on being the old man with the pitchfork and now everyone has photos of Wilson in a bad blonde wig)

really good in pediatrics. it really wears on him if he has a young patient but he handles it really well

taught himself to make balloon animals for the pediatric cancer patients

runs warm all year (something something universal donor)

big spoon

has joint problems but he insists it's not that bad so he won't go get seen for it

favorite movie is Pretty in Pink

office teddy bear. working in oncology is hard and some of the nurses just don't take it as well, so if he's around he takes it upon himself to comfort them

shockingly pretty good with technology and phones. i like to think this is because he has a fairly adaptive personality as it is and medical technology (especially in oncology) is always changing so he's used to keeping up with new things

definitely would have one of those fucking military ass otterboxes and a tempered glass screen protector and a camera protector like someone is gonna come run over his fucking phone

lwk i think he'd be kinky asf but im gonna leave that there

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Eddie does this... thing. Steve isn't sure if there's a name for it. Or if it's just a thing. Robin always jokes that Eddie's autism is showing. And he just snorts at her and shakes his head, but he keeps doing it, his cheeks tinted pink.

He counts things.

They aren't always things everyone can see. About half the time Eddie is just counting in his head. But he mumbles the numbers outloud, barely audible. But Steve hears it. Steve can't hear much, most of the time, but he somehow always manages to hear Eddie counting. Or at least notices his lips moving, numbers rolling off them genlty.

It calms him down. Steve noticed that fast. Eddie would count his breathing during panic attacks and then when he helped Steve or Robin through their panic attacks, and somewhere along the line, Steve just started,  counting along with him.

Not outloud. And Eddie hadn't noticed him nodding along to the counting, not yet at least. But it never failed. Eddie would start counting and Steve's brain would follow along happily.

They're sitting on Eddie's couch. It's the middle of summer. The air outside is hot and sticky. The air in the trailer isn't much better. But Steve had brought over his personal air conditioner that had been sitting in the garage not being used for years. Eddie had protested but Steve refused to take it back.

The living room was cooler than it had been the last few days. The sun had just gone down. Eddie's thigh was pressed against his, like it normally was these days, heat or not. Eddie would sit himself next to Steve, their sides smooshed together. Steve hadn't moved away, not once, despite the heat.

Eddie was wearing a cut off shirt, Steve was in jean shorts and a lightweight yellow t-shirt. Some movie Steve had never seen was on the tv, but all Steve could focus on was the way Eddie was pressed against him. The warmth of his skin seeping into his ribs.

And then Eddie starts counting.

Steve smiles to himself. Following along. Glancing at Eddie carefully when his counting pauses, like he was searching for the next thing he was counting. Steve had never been brave enough to ask about it. Was just happy Eddie felt safe enough around him to let him hear it at all.

And then Eddie's fingers hit Steve's arm and he can't breathe. Eddie's finger tips walk up his arm, pressing genlty at certain points as they go. Steve's heart flutters when Eddie's fingers press up under his shirt, curl in the material and shove it up as Eddie mumbles,

"Can I just-" between numbers. He smiles when he gets Steve's sleeve up over his shoulder, his fingers poking at Steve's skin as he counts. And it clicks.

He's counting Steve's freckles.

His fingers dancing over his skin as he counts, whispering numbers as he turns on his couch cushion, his knee pressing hard into Steve's thigh. Steve doesn't care. Steve doesn't feel it.

All Steve can feel is Eddie's breath ghosting over his warm skin as he counts. His chilly fingertips, and warm breath, causing goosebumps to spead, making Steve shiver.

He swallows, hard, as Eddie's fingers poke the moles on his neck. Steve smiles when Eddie whispers to himself.

"Lil vampire bite." He says, moving one finger across them genlty. Steve clenches his fists, presses them into his thighs, tries to stay still. To let Eddie stay in this world he's in. Because he's lost right now. Steve knows he is. He's a touchy feely guy, but this, this is different.

He's lost in his counting. Lost in Steve. It's fucking intoxicating. Steve could live in this bubble forever, all of Eddie's attention on him like he's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.

Steve reminds himself to breathe at the wrong moment. Eddie's fingers move over his cheek, he's almost reached thirty, and Steve honestly didn't know he had that many freckles and moles. But he learns new things about himself from Eddie everyday. He sucks in air as Eddie's fingers press into his cheek and Eddie startles.

His hand jerks back, his eyes flutter and then lock onto Steve's. Because he'd been watching Eddie. Watching Eddie look at him. And Eddie swallows hard, his fist clenching in the air before he pulls it to his chest. Holds it there with his other hand, his cheeks now a deep pink, Steve can see it crawling up to his ears.

"Shit. Sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Fuck." He breathes, looks into his lap. And Steve smiles. Can't help it. He reaches out, his fingers curling around Eddie's wrist.

Eddie's eyes snap to him, wide, and nervous, as he watches Steve move his hand back to his face. He presses Eddie's palm to his cheek, nuzzles into the touch.

"You can keep going. You were at... twenty seven, I think." Steve whispers, not wanting to break the quiet bubble they've settled into. Eddie blinks at him. Steve feels his fingers twitch against his face.

"Twenty....seven?" Eddie says it like a question. Unsure. Confused.

"You were counting again." Steve says, leans further into Eddie's hand. He hears Eddie's breath shutter.

"I was touching you." Eddie says, his brows furrowing, like he's still confused.

"I know. I liked it." Steve assures, nodding his head, letting Eddie feel it against his hand.

"Yeah?" He breathes.

"Yeah. Of course." Steve turns a little then, facing him more.

"I like when you count too." Steve admits. Finally. Eddie's nose scrunches, he snorts, and Steve lets him have his hand back. He lets his fall to Steve's shoulder, his fingers almost instantly tangling in the hair at the back of Steve's neck. They find their way there most nights Steve is here, his hand on the back of the couch always finding Steve somehow.

"No you don't. No one does. It annoys people. It's weird." Eddie shakes his head, but he's smiling, and blushing, and Steve wants to kiss his bright red cheeks, wants to feel their warmth against his lips.

"It's addicting." Steve counters. Eddie's eyes widen.

"Is it?" He sounds shocked. Steve nods.

"Yeah. I do it all the time now. Even when you aren't doing it. Or aren't even around. I just... count things. You were right. It's calming." Steve says, his hands finding Eddie's, moving his fingers across Eddie's rings.

"You said it was addicting." Eddie mumbled.

"What?"

"You said it was addicting. The counting." Eddie says, finally looking up from his lap. His eyes soft when they find Steve's.

"Oh. Guess I did yeah. Is that... is that bad?" Steve asks, turning one of Eddie's rings around his finger. Eddie shakes his head, once, the red tint crawling down his neck now. The hand Steve's not fiddling with finds its way to the back of Eddie's neck, he rubs the skin there and blinks a few times before looking into his lap again.

"No. Just... no one's ever called anything about me addicting before. Annoying? Yes. Addicting? Not so much. But you did. And you said it like-" Eddie's teeth dig into his bottom lip.

"Like what?" Steve nudges his knee into Eddie, fighting not to smile.

"Like it was a good thing. I guess?" Eddie shrugs. Steve reaches up then, lets go of Eddie's hand and cups his cheek instead, lifting his head so Eddie can see him.

"It is a good thing. The best thing. I could listen to you count all day." Steve smiles then, mirroring Eddie as he laughs a little.

"Oh yeah? You might regret that. I've actually been trying to hold back on it. I know I do it a lot." Eddie shakes his head, frowns a little. Steve moves, presses closer, shakes his head.

"Don't. Don't hold back. Count whatever you want. Whenever you want." He breathes between them.

"Okay." Eddie says, hesitant, he sounds nervous. Steve pulls back a bit, brows furrowed, and then Eddie darts forward, presses his lips to Steve's cheek.

"One." He says when he's settled back on his cushion. His cheeks even more red than before. Steve snorts, opens his mouth to say something but Eddie moves again. His lips hit next to Steve's eyebrow.

"Two."

He presses his lips close to Steve's ear.

"Three." Steve laughs. Eddie kissed his neck twice.

"Four. Five." He breathes, as Steve catches him, doesn't let him settle back down this time. Keeps him close. One hand on the back of Eddie's neck, one hand trailing his fingertips over Eddie's nose, and his cheeks.

"You've got them too ya know? Not like mine. But ... little ones. All over." Steve breathes, his fingers moving slowly over Eddie face until they linger on his lips. Just for a moment, before he cupped Eddie's cheek.

"You wanna count 'em?" Eddie asks, he sounds breathless, and Steve had barely touched him. They were both on their knees now. Their chests nearly pressed together.

"Maybe later. Got something better in mind right now." Steve breathes, eyes dropping to Eddie's mouth. He watches Eddie gulp and smiles.

"Oh yeah? L-like what?" Eddie stammers. His hands grabbing at Steve's waist to keep himself steady.

"Probably better if I just show you." Steve sighs, presses his forehead to Eddie's.

"Okay. Yeah. I'm- I'm definitely a learn by example kinda guy. So that's- that works for me." Eddie rambles, his mouth moving a mile a minute. Steve moves his nose along Eddie's and nods.

"Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. I can do that." Steve agrees, not sure what he's really agreeing too, he just knows he wants to kiss this boy. His friend. Eddie. He wants to kiss Eddie so bad. Has for awhile now. He feels Eddie's hands, one of them moving to his shoulder where his sleeve is still pulled up, Eddie's palm is warm on his arm.

Eddie huffs a nervous laugh and that's all it takes.

Steve kisses him. Gently. Eddie's lips fumble against his for a moment. His inexperience making Steve's stomach flutter. His hands grab at Eddie, pull him closer. Eddie whines against his lips and Steve pulls back, doesn't want to overwhelm him too much.

Eddie drops his head to Steve's shoulder with a breathy laugh. Steve pets at his hair, curls his fingers into it like he's wanted to for ages and pulls genlty, so he can look at Eddie's face.

"You okay?" He asks. Eddie nods, smiles.

"Six." He says, his cheeks dimpling. Steve smiles back, shakes his head. Presses a kiss to the tip of Eddie's nose.

"Seven." Eddie says, no hesitation. Steve swears he honest to god giggles, but would never admit it to anyone.

Eddie's eyes tint with a mix of mischief and seriousness that's all his own as his fingers curl around the hem of Steve shirt.

"Okay seriously though take this off, I wasn't done counting." His voice is completely serious. And Steve, feeling brave, decides to match it, and tugs his shirt up over his head, careful not to hit Eddie in the face. Eddie barks a manic sounding laugh as Steve falls back, pulling Eddie down too, so that he's stradling him.

"Go on then. Count away." Steve shoves his hands under his head, smiles up at Eddie as he looks wide eyed down at Steve. He's bright red, but then his eyes focus, and his hands move to gently touch the skin covering Steve's ribs. His finger tips press down, tickling a bit, as he whispers,

"Twenty eight." His eyes jump to Steve's face, he gives him an encouraging nod, and that's all Eddie needs apparently. Because he starts counting in earnest, his hands moving over Steve's freckles quickly. Numbers falling past his lips, his counting calming Steve the way almost nothing else does.

He gets to fifty and stops. Leans down and presses a kiss to Steve's shoulder.

"Eight." He whispers, and then keeps going. He kisses and counts his way across Steve's skin until he's laying on top of Steve, his hand in his hair. Pressing gentle kisses into Steve's neck as he smiles into Eddie's shoulder, the little voice in his head counting along, in sync with Eddie in a way he'd never expected to be, feeling content as Eddie's numbers become more garbled. Until they fade completely as Eddie drifts off, his breath heavy on Steve's neck.

Steve smiles, moves them a bit so they're settled on the couch a bit better. Eddie doesn't wake. Steve watches him sleep. Soothes his fingers over the crease in Eddie's eyebrows until it smooths out and he melts further into the couch. He smiles at him, closes his eyes as Eddie's arm squeezes around him, pulling him closer. Steve sighs, sinks deeper into the couch as he feels sleep dragging him under. But not before he mumbles, sleepy and soft,

"One." Making sure he marks this. The first time they fall asleep tangled together, the smile on his lips fading as he drifts off to sleep, dreaming of all the never ending numbers in their future.

[sillybeee]

The flaws and postives of dating leon.

cw: angst (substance abuse, etc), mentions of, suicide, substance abuse, erectile dysfunction and sex but never goes into too much detail. ends on a happy note <3 hurt/comfort (?)

Usually I picture older leon so anything having to do with damnation leon and older ^^

The flaws.

──★ substance abuse.

it's no doubt (almost) every leon struggles with using alcohol abuse as a way to cope with his issues. even if he's trying to quit. when he's drunk, he gets irritated easily. he's also really dramatic. and clingy. He's impulsive, and you'll have to scold him constantly when he does something stupid or unsafe. And don't get him wrong, he think you're beautiful, gorgeous, stunning even, but he can't get it up. So expect lazy soft sex with him if you guys have sex at all. Another part is he comes home at late times from drinking at bars at early times of the night. And he's so loud so he wakes you up, you can hear loud bangs, cursing, etc. His drinking also always leads to bed rotting to the point he has food everywhere, and bottles of whatever he wanted at the time scattered on his floor, trash, clothes, it's just bad. On a more postive note, he does quit shortly after the events of vendetta, it takes a lot of convincing himself to go but that leads to another set of challenges, since he's suffering from withdrawal, but during his time quitting, he goes to AA meetings, and therapy to find other things to cope, he even gets a sponser (his name is ken, he loves him), and if it gets really really bad, he'll go to rehab, then a wellness center where the nice nurse ladies will take off him, and he'll play uno with the rest of the depressed people. he honestly loves a hospital setting, he loves feeling taken care of. And as of death island, he'll have been sober for 8 1/2 months. So good for him.

──★ ptsd.

Another thing you might have expected. Leon's life hasn't been cupcakes and rainbows since his parents died. But Racoon city takes the cake for him. In some re6 documents, it talks about leon wanting to commit suicide, but didn't to protect Sherry. After RC, he has nightmares, panic attacks, and sometimes his fears can make him be irrational, like worrying about everyone being the sick, or worrying if his job is watching him to see what he's doing. However, his job makes it easier for him to bottle and mask (autism, hear me out please) his emotions until he's considered "safe", so rarely will he ever act out at his fears, but you can always tell his secretly freaking out. His hands get terribly sweaty, and he always seems to jump at loud noises. But, just you being there is nice to him. He loves being able to see alive, it relaxes him or something. So when you're cuddling, he'll listen to your heartbeat and hearing you breathe. Which eventually helps him fall asleep into an actual peaceful slumber. When it is considered safe to him, he has a meltdown from masking his emotions for too long. He is more sensitive and easily annoyed, and gets overwhelmed by things he normally wouldn't find annoying, like pen clicks, bright lights or his pants feeling weird, like why do jeans feel like that? it's like a mix of burnout and masking coming to him.

── .✦ forgetful.

leon is the perfect boyfriend, who doesn't forget anything. And that is true most of the time, most of the time. He's very present, he knows everything about you, your favorite movies, favorite songs, shows, etc. But he forgets holidays, easily. It's probably his work schedule. He works so much, even on the holidays sometimes, so to him, it feels like a regular day. And he rarely checks calendars. It could be valentine's day, no gift, nothing, and when he realized, he gets now why you're ignoring him and acting so weird. He also forgets chores, rarely ever helps around the house, which is frustrating. Never had to help clean as a kid, cause a nanny or maid always did it for him. He gets irritated on why you're pissed at him for not doing the dishes. Like he did them last saturday! He think he's helping but he isn't. However, if you tell him, you feel overworked with doing everything, he tries doing chores more often on his days off, and you'll come back to a clean house. that won't happen again. sorry.

── .✦ boring and old fashioned.

leon likes mundane things, things most people find boring and unfun, and it will get worse the older he gets. he likes watching the news every morning, waking up and going to bed early, etc, etc. because he's old fashioned. he will have the same phone for years and won't think about changing it until it gets destroyed. he will judge you for getting a new phone even when your old one still works, or "buying something you don't need".

the positives.

──★ attentive.

I'll add more I promise and make a part two!!!

like i said in the forgetful category, he is good at remembering everything you tell him. Just not holidays. But he'll remember everything you tell him, for example, when you're shopping and he sees you stare at something to long. He'll buy it for you, oh you like this flower? Here's a bouquet of them! Oh you like this style of clothes? Here's a store full of them and he will be carrying the bags.

[maxdibert]

Having a shitty past is no excuse for being a horrible person, and Snape was a horrible person. Snape fans always try to turn him into a tragic hero, but there was nothing heroic about him when he was just an obsessive bigot who followed a group of genocidal maniacs

Well, I think I’ve said this a million times already and explained in exhausting detail why growing up in a particular environment—lacking social, emotional, economic, or essential support—and being subjected to violence during the most crucial years of cognitive development creates the perfect breeding ground for antisocial behavior. It also makes vulnerable or socially excluded youth prime targets for sectarian groups (whether religious, political, or otherwise) that prey on their situation, offering them promises of protection, safe spaces, surrogate parental figures, or social progress. These groups actively seek out kids with emotional voids caused by dysfunctional family dynamics, minimal to no financial resources, and a profound sense that the system has failed them at every turn. They offer these kids an alternative system—one that gives them a roof over their heads, a hot meal, a place to belong, and people who won’t marginalize them like the rest of society has—at the simple price of blindly following the group’s ideology. And they do it. Of course, they do. Because what other choice do they have? This group gave them life, a place in society, and restored their status as human beings.

But since I’ve spoken about this at length before and about how Severus’s life shaped his decisions, I feel like I’m starting to sound like a broken record. So, since I’m also reading a legal ruling I need to memorize by Friday, I’m going to indulge myself and dissertate as freely as I please—because hey, if you’re going to throw hate, I’m going to grant myself the privilege of replying however I want.

Here’s a question: why does it even matter? Seriously, what does it matter if he was a shitty person? Do you know that people go to space today thanks to the work of physicists and engineers who were literal SS members? That after WWII, all the top scientists, physicists, chemists, and engineers were granted amnesty and fast-tracked into citizenships so they could work on government projects? That people working within a stone’s throw of concentration camps are the pioneers behind some of the greatest technological advances of the 20th century? And you don’t care that the products you consume are derived from the work of collaborators with mass genocide, but you’re upset that people find a fictional character interesting? I don’t want to sound cynical, but honestly, it’s ridiculous to get so morally high and mighty about a character who doesn’t exist and who followed an extremist cult for, what? 3 or 4 years tops? and then canonically worked actively to take it down. If we put Severus in a real-world, wartime context, the guy would be a literal war hero with medals to his name. No exaggeration. If he survived, he’d be recruited with a fat paycheck to work in internal affairs for some major world power’s secret projects. That’s just how the world works.

And yeah, he was obsessive. But in an era where everyone suffers at least one anxiety episode a month, where the best-case scenario is that your panic attacks don’t spiral into chronic mental health issues—can we really judge him for that? Like, most of the people I see being ultra “snater” are folks who openly declare themselves neurodivergent, and one of the common denominators of all neurodivergence is obsessiveness. All of them. Whether it’s chronic anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder or autism. Every single one has an obsessive component. So it’s kind of ironic—and even hypocritical—for people who are themselves pretty obsessive (because let’s face it, we’re all compulsively doomscrolling here to soothe our anxious compulsions with little dopamine hits) to judge this character’s obsessiveness as a negative trait. Maybe let’s take a good look in the mirror, too.

And let me just say, no court would convict Severus of collaborating with a terrorist group. Not a single one. Impossible. Especially since he literally collaborated against said group, so any judge would happily clear him—not after the war, but the moment he struck his deal with Dumbledore. Severus is what’s known as an informant. He worked from the inside, exposed himself to greater dangers than regular agents. Legally speaking, there have been cases where people guilty of heinous crimes—including crimes against humanity—were let off because they provided critical information. So imagine someone like Severus, who, as far as we know, didn’t even kill anyone during his time in the group, willingly spilling the beans and agreeing to work as a spy. He’d be celebrated as a hero of war. Hell, they’d probably buy him a mansion in Florida if he wanted one. That’s just how our system works, and honestly, this kind of moralist posturing is pretty cringy because you’re talking about a guy who literally saved half of magical society’s asses and without whom the kid destined to save the world would’ve died in his first year at school.

You can dislike him or think he’s a jerk, but he was damn good at his job. And compared to the people he’s often unfairly measured against (Sirius, James, Remus...), he actually did something. They didn’t. Absolutely nothing. Contribution: negative one.

[hello-nichya-here]

Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?

Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.

Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.

There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.

The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:

1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.

2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")

3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).

4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"

5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.

6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"

So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.

Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.

And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.

Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.

Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.

So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.

[bwobgames]

"We went to some waterfalls last year. They are some hidden beauty kind of thing we saw on tiktok, so we wanted to explore.

We set up our tents in an area that wasn't meant for camping.

We are kind of experts in the field so we didn't think much of it.

The place was... certainly cold. And rocky and... humid. The trek took a good amount of effort.

We had it , really! but um...

Things are not so easy at night

Paolo was my brother. He woke up in the middle of the night to get fresh air or something like that, i dont know, but.

He... he slip in the rocks and fell.

We found out in the morning"

Oliver tries his best to supress the picture that comes into his mind.

He fell. That's what they all said.

"Those waterfalls... We'll be passing through that area tonight"

“I… I’m kinda hoping to see him. I hope the train lets me see him”

"I hope he gets in"

Oliver cannot suppress the shiver that runs down his spine

“The news had a picture of us that was way too good for something so morbid”

He shows his phone background. It’s five friends taking a picture in front of a waterfall.

“Can I see the article?”

“Vivi!”

“Uh. My condolences. Can I see the article?”

“Sure, let me… Ah shit. No signal”

“What…?”

(No, no. Don’t Panic just yet. Breath in, Calm down, and Analyse. The BCA method.)

He looks out the window and sees nothing but trees

Ah. They left the city already. That was quick, not going into traffic really makes a difference.

Trains are awesome.

“We’re out of range for phone signal, I believe. We are out of the city. When we reach somewhere more urban, we should get it back”

Although he is not sure if this train is going to pass through any urban place like buses do. That would be incredibly efficient. Awful for this situation but he’s not going to blame the train for it.

Wait, is his love for trains the house’s effect? Wait, no, that could just be the autism. Did the train give him autism??

Much to discuss.

“Excuse me, sorry for us keeping you guys busy, I’m sure you are tired. Let me show you where the bedroom cabins are”

“(Ah! My manners!)”

“Thank you! This bag has been killing me!”

And so they leave.

“We’ll be okay. We’ll be okay! There’s no murderous maniac here. And it’s not that big of a place! I think. We’ll be fine”

Ángel is doing a commendable job keeping himself together

It’s… inspiring

“When has a house ever taken us down, yeah?”

“Yeah! We have the power of gay love!”

He suddenly looks at Vivi.

“And gay friendship!”

Vivi is… fixated on a photo.

“Vivi?”

“Hm? What? Yes? Gay love or something yeah? Yahoo!”

“What are you looking at?”

“Uh, nothing! It’s just… I really hate the lighting in this photo! That must be the house effect. Making me bad at lighting.”

“Uh. Anyways. Yeah, it’s probably nothing. Be right back!”

And so she leaves

He also didn’t realize the kids left as well. Is just him and Ángel now.

“I’ll see what she’s hiding. I have unbanned war tactics that will make her fess up”

“I don’t think the sad kitty eyes will work on her”

“No, no. That’s my tactic for you. I need to bring out different tactics with her. She’s a strong enemy”

They are always so dramatic those two.

He is a bit… saddened, That Vivi is hiding something from him. He’s never been that good at friendship, seeing Vivi and Ángel’s relationship got him wishing for something like that.

Of course, Ángel and Vivi have been friends since they were kids, and he only knows her for these last few years but-

He really hopes this is… something unrelated. And in no way reflective of his friendship with her.

He will trust. Because that’s what friends do.

“Stick with someone, please? Even if it’s just a worker, or stay in your room! Or- or the bathroom! Just-“

“I’ll be safe”

“…Yeah. Yeah, you always are”

“But if something happens, you scream, okay? Scream at the top of your lungs! Like you did at the Los Bunkers concert, okay?”

“I’ll keep it in mind. In case of danger, I ask for an encore”

“…I love you”

Ah! Sudden emotional attack! What a dirty trick!

“So just sit here and look pretty, okay? Be right back!”

Woah! Woahwoahwoah! Affection! Direct attack!

One day. One day he’ll stop reacting like a teen boy with a crush. And then he’ll see! Everyone will see!

“(…Maybe if we are quiet… surely the other cabins won’t hear, right…?)”

“(No, No. Bad Oliver. Wait until home. Where there’s showers and privacy)”

Willing his thoughts about his gorgeous boyfriend to settle, he plans his next move.

It’s 9 pm

<-PREV START NEXT->

[hiddensanctuarywrites]

Lawrence Oleander Mental Health Analysis/Headcanons

What is going on in this guy's head? He's quite the enigma but I think I have a few diagnoses that might help explain why he is the way he is. These mental disorders are comorbid, meaning they’re all linked together in some way.

Note: I am in no way qualified to actually diagnose anyone, but I have put a lot of research into this. If you disagree with anything that’s cool, these are just what makes the most sense for me.

This is a long one so everything will be under the cut.

Alexithymia: 

This is a secondary diagnosis, coming from autism in Lawrence’s case.  Having alexithymia means he has a hard time intuitively identifying his own emotions and the emotions of others. This is not to say he doesn’t Feel emotions, he does, and often quite intensely, but being able to figure them out enough to describe them or show them when it’s required socially is very difficult for him. It’s also quite difficult for him to self-regulate.

The more anxious or distraught he is, the harder it is for him to identify his feelings. He's pretty disconnected from his own needs and desires as well, so it’s unlikely he will know what he wants at any given moment. All of this is incredibly alienating for him and made worse when he’s pressured into trying to introspect or act accordingly to social cues. Trying to empathize with others is another thing he tends to struggle with due to this condition.

Lawrence doesn’t have a solid sense of self because it’s so hard for him to introspect. He finds it easier to live moment by moment and doesn’t really have aspirations for the future, other than wanting to get away from society as a whole.

Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD):

Multiple of his other conditions make him more prone to developing anxiety. This is an intense and pervasive fear, usually having to do with everyday situations. His fears are all centered around other people, or the living to be more specific. He learned as a kid that interacting with others is dangerous and often causes him to get hurt in the process. 

Social anxiety can be very debilitating. Often in social situations the biggest thing on his mind is this sense of panic and the intense desire to get away. It makes it difficult to concentrate on others and what they’re saying, much less how to contribute to a conversation. Even just thinking about talking to others makes him nervous, so it’s easiest for him to cope by trying to avoid people entirely. Seeing how many locks he has on his apartment door is a good indicator of just how pervasive his social anxiety is.

Other symptoms of anxiety include an increased heart rate, sweating, rapid breathing, trembling, nausea, feeling weak and difficulties sleeping. This can get even worse and turn into a meltdown or an anxiety attack if he doesn’t find ways to alleviate his symptoms or leave the situation entirely. His alexithymia makes it a lot harder to figure out any specific reason why he’s feeling anxious so even if he had someone to talk to about this, it’ll be difficult for him to explain what he’s going through.

Panic attacks are another thing he suffers with. They are different from anxiety attacks because they happen suddenly and without warning. Usually his symptoms are depersonalization, derealization, confusion, disorientation, rapid heartbeat, dizziness, numbness, stomach and chest pain. It can take quite a lot out of him when one happens and it takes a while to recover from it.

If he finds someone that he feels like he needs around, he will most certainly develop separation anxiety towards them. He hasn’t had anyone he’s felt close to in so long so it’ll be terrifying thinking about that person having the ability to leave him. This is why he decided to remove all of MC’s limbs in the Lawrence kept you ending. How willing he would be to talk this out and figure out a different way to lower his anxiety will depend on how someone has interacted with him before he develops this particular anxiety.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD-1):

Having this disorder is the underlying cause for pretty much all of his struggles in life and it’s heavily linked to all of his other conditions. While he is level 1 on the spectrum, it’s still very pervasive and made even harder to handle without any support or understanding.

When he was a kid, it was made very apparent to him that he was different from other people. Social interactions are filled with rules and social cues that everyone else around him innately understood, and when he didn’t know what to do or did the wrong things those same people would make him feel bad by chastising or ridiculing him. He’s since learned how to mask by imitating facial expressions, tolerating uncomfortable situations, concealing his special interests, and for the most part dressing appropriately.

Because of his long history of negative social interactions, he feels a great deal of anxiety when he’s forced to interact with others. He doesn’t really feel in control when talking to people unless he’s scripted out what to say ahead of time, and even then it’s pretty nerve-wracking for him. 

There's a lot of things that he's learned to avoid bringing up. Even though he still wants to be able to talk about these things, he often finds it easier and more comfortable to just not say anything at all. He will slowly stop filtering himself the more secure he feels around someone or will forget it altogether if he's hyperfixated on something enough.

Hyperfixation is an intense and prolonged focus on a specific interest or activity. The “moods” he gets into are actually him hyperfixating on something. Usually this is directed at his plants or when he's spending hours googling things on his laptop but as we can tell with MC, he can and will hyperfixate on people as well, or on specific parts of their body. This likely will happen more often towards anyone he's attracted to. Note that it is possible to get him out of this intense focus but if he's set on doing something it will be difficult to change his mind on it.

The things he tends to hyperfixate on usually have to do with a special interest of his. Special interests are long term passions, topics that fascinate the person and bring them joy and fulfillment. Lawrence has a few; plants, herbalism, anatomy, death/decomposition and the river. He knows a lot about each of these topics but has a hard time sharing this info with others. He'll often notice things that others don't when it's related to one of these interests and things that aren't related to them tend to bore him.

Lawrence has a unique way of viewing things. As his brain isn't neurotypical, it makes associations that others might not correlate. He does this a lot, regularly talking in metaphors. This also means that when he finds something funny it's hard for others to understand why he's amused. Conversely, he tends to struggle to get other people's jokes and might need them explained to him. He'll probably need a lot of interpersonal things in general explained to him.

Getting overwhelmed is something that happens to him fairly often but stimming can help him regulate and cope in these situations. It’s hard to decide in what ways he would stim but he likely enjoys listening to music on repeat. Gatobob has mentioned that slow trance and electronic mood music are his go to genres. He also likely paces and squeezes/plays with his hands for stimming.

When he’s unable to calm down or get away from a stressful situation he will react with a meltdown. Meltdowns are completely involuntary and he’s unable to control himself when going through one. For him, behaviors can include withdrawing, shutting down, agitated pacing, getting physically aggressive, yelling, running away, being unable to be reasoned with and having difficulty communicating. Meltdowns can be extremely exhausting for whoever goes through them but there are ways to help minimize the risk of them happening again.

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD): 

This is a condition connected to autism that affects the way the brain processes sensory information. SPD is divided into three categories but I will be treating it as a whole for the sake of brevity.

In Lawrence’s case, he’s under-responsive to touch, taste and smell, and has oversensitive hearing. This is why he can down the hottest of hot sauces or everclear like it’s nothing, doesn’t get bothered by the smell of decomposition, doesn’t notice when his place or he himself smells weird. Being hyposensitive to touch gives him a high pain tolerance and means he isn’t bothered by temperatures that would normally be considered too hot or too cold by others. He likes to wear as little as possible because it makes it easier to actually feel his surroundings. He also seeks out things that are physically stimulating, i.e. touching things like dirt, hair, fur, bones, skin, going barefoot, ect.

When it comes to his hearing, he can get very easily overstimulated. He even monitors the volume of his own voice to avoid triggering himself. This is why he gets upset whenever someone is being loud or making too much noise. For him, too much noise can feel genuinely uncomfortable, and quickly leads to him feeling physically unwell and anxious. 

Things that are alive make so much noise, even just by existing, and that was even more overwhelming for him as a kid. This is why he became so fascinated when he came across roadkill as a child. Something so full of life was now bearable for him to be around. He could finally get close to an animal, something that was usually filled with noise and also ran away on sight, and didn’t feel overstimulated by it. He could see it up close and feel it. It was quiet. It was Safe. This same logic applies to his love for The River. It’s a place devoid of sounds so to him it’s like a sanctuary.

SPD also gives him issues with incorrectly processing sensory information, more specifically, body awareness and muscle sensation. Difficulties with intuitively feeling where his limbs are and what they’re doing makes him fairly clumsy, but more importantly, it takes conscious effort from him to accurately tell how much tension and force is required to interact with something. This leads to his actions often ending up a lot rougher and more aggressive than he means to, especially when he’s under stress. He’s hurt people by accident and he’s killed people by accident. This is why he got his tattoos, to try to disconnect himself from the many times he wasn’t able to control the strength behind his actions.

While he might not be fully aware of it, his job of carrying around heavy boxes is something that is a very grounding activity for people who struggle with body awareness. Working the muscles and pressure/compression are both needed to activate the proprioceptive system. I like to think that Lawrence likes to occasionally go out into nature and bury himself in dirt to get that sense of pressure he needs and would probably enjoy long tight hugs for that same reason.

I put a lot of time, mental energy and research into this post but I think this does a pretty thorough job at explaining the reasoning behind everything he does. Please like and/or share if you did like this!!

[aussie-roadkill]

Hi guys I am going to ramble about the end scene of Generation Loss now

I fucking LOVE how Hetch taunts Ranboo in this,

“I still have a roll here to play” A nice hint of superiority, saying I’m important, you’re not, I still have a purpose, which of course is furthered with the “You’ll stay until you’ve outlived your use, that might be tomorrow, or a thousand years from now” Ranboo might be the hero, the main character, but he’s still just playing a role, he’s still a toy that will get tossed aside when Showfall gets bored of him

“Your choices, your decisions to let other people die for you” Calling Ranboo selfish, telling them they killed those people. That its their fault. Live or die this is the last time Ranboo would have free thought, and Hetch wants to make that as painful as possible, make him feel guilt, make him hate himself.

“They can’t get enough of you, and looking at the poll they want to play with you forever” the vote was 51/49 at this point, and Hetch implies the audience all want Ranboo to stay, to suffer in this twisted show. He wants to make ranboo panic he wants them to be afraid, to feel terror, to feel like they’re trapped, and it works, they start screaming, begging the audience too kill them, saying they can’t live with the things they’ve done. Hetch just lies to scare him, he just lies because he enjoys the pure raw emotion it gets out of his ‘actor’

“He’d rather quit than (...) keep entertaining you” Taunting both Ranboo and the audience, calling him a coward, a quitter, trying to make Ran seem like the bad guy, telling the audience they don’t care about them- how selfish, he’d rather die than make you happy, does he really deserve this mercy? Don’t you want him to stay and suffer, keep giving you content, keep being your puppet

Ran saying “I saw everything” and Hetch responds “And you’ll see so much more” at 55/45, the vote just ended, He won’t be seeing more, that’s a lie. He just wanted Ranboo to panic, he wanted them to think they were going to be trapped in here forever, he delighted in the sheer panic, the begging for anything else, even death

anyway, all hail Autism Jesus, he died for our stims

[autism-corner]

"aha yeah at your new job they'll have to hire one less person because you do the job of two!" have you considered. that i dont want that.

thank FUCK im quitting