#autistic eddie munson

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Eddie does this... thing. Steve isn't sure if there's a name for it. Or if it's just a thing. Robin always jokes that Eddie's autism is showing. And he just snorts at her and shakes his head, but he keeps doing it, his cheeks tinted pink.

He counts things.

They aren't always things everyone can see. About half the time Eddie is just counting in his head. But he mumbles the numbers outloud, barely audible. But Steve hears it. Steve can't hear much, most of the time, but he somehow always manages to hear Eddie counting. Or at least notices his lips moving, numbers rolling off them genlty.

It calms him down. Steve noticed that fast. Eddie would count his breathing during panic attacks and then when he helped Steve or Robin through their panic attacks, and somewhere along the line, Steve just started,  counting along with him.

Not outloud. And Eddie hadn't noticed him nodding along to the counting, not yet at least. But it never failed. Eddie would start counting and Steve's brain would follow along happily.

They're sitting on Eddie's couch. It's the middle of summer. The air outside is hot and sticky. The air in the trailer isn't much better. But Steve had brought over his personal air conditioner that had been sitting in the garage not being used for years. Eddie had protested but Steve refused to take it back.

The living room was cooler than it had been the last few days. The sun had just gone down. Eddie's thigh was pressed against his, like it normally was these days, heat or not. Eddie would sit himself next to Steve, their sides smooshed together. Steve hadn't moved away, not once, despite the heat.

Eddie was wearing a cut off shirt, Steve was in jean shorts and a lightweight yellow t-shirt. Some movie Steve had never seen was on the tv, but all Steve could focus on was the way Eddie was pressed against him. The warmth of his skin seeping into his ribs.

And then Eddie starts counting.

Steve smiles to himself. Following along. Glancing at Eddie carefully when his counting pauses, like he was searching for the next thing he was counting. Steve had never been brave enough to ask about it. Was just happy Eddie felt safe enough around him to let him hear it at all.

And then Eddie's fingers hit Steve's arm and he can't breathe. Eddie's finger tips walk up his arm, pressing genlty at certain points as they go. Steve's heart flutters when Eddie's fingers press up under his shirt, curl in the material and shove it up as Eddie mumbles,

"Can I just-" between numbers. He smiles when he gets Steve's sleeve up over his shoulder, his fingers poking at Steve's skin as he counts. And it clicks.

He's counting Steve's freckles.

His fingers dancing over his skin as he counts, whispering numbers as he turns on his couch cushion, his knee pressing hard into Steve's thigh. Steve doesn't care. Steve doesn't feel it.

All Steve can feel is Eddie's breath ghosting over his warm skin as he counts. His chilly fingertips, and warm breath, causing goosebumps to spead, making Steve shiver.

He swallows, hard, as Eddie's fingers poke the moles on his neck. Steve smiles when Eddie whispers to himself.

"Lil vampire bite." He says, moving one finger across them genlty. Steve clenches his fists, presses them into his thighs, tries to stay still. To let Eddie stay in this world he's in. Because he's lost right now. Steve knows he is. He's a touchy feely guy, but this, this is different.

He's lost in his counting. Lost in Steve. It's fucking intoxicating. Steve could live in this bubble forever, all of Eddie's attention on him like he's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.

Steve reminds himself to breathe at the wrong moment. Eddie's fingers move over his cheek, he's almost reached thirty, and Steve honestly didn't know he had that many freckles and moles. But he learns new things about himself from Eddie everyday. He sucks in air as Eddie's fingers press into his cheek and Eddie startles.

His hand jerks back, his eyes flutter and then lock onto Steve's. Because he'd been watching Eddie. Watching Eddie look at him. And Eddie swallows hard, his fist clenching in the air before he pulls it to his chest. Holds it there with his other hand, his cheeks now a deep pink, Steve can see it crawling up to his ears.

"Shit. Sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Fuck." He breathes, looks into his lap. And Steve smiles. Can't help it. He reaches out, his fingers curling around Eddie's wrist.

Eddie's eyes snap to him, wide, and nervous, as he watches Steve move his hand back to his face. He presses Eddie's palm to his cheek, nuzzles into the touch.

"You can keep going. You were at... twenty seven, I think." Steve whispers, not wanting to break the quiet bubble they've settled into. Eddie blinks at him. Steve feels his fingers twitch against his face.

"Twenty....seven?" Eddie says it like a question. Unsure. Confused.

"You were counting again." Steve says, leans further into Eddie's hand. He hears Eddie's breath shutter.

"I was touching you." Eddie says, his brows furrowing, like he's still confused.

"I know. I liked it." Steve assures, nodding his head, letting Eddie feel it against his hand.

"Yeah?" He breathes.

"Yeah. Of course." Steve turns a little then, facing him more.

"I like when you count too." Steve admits. Finally. Eddie's nose scrunches, he snorts, and Steve lets him have his hand back. He lets his fall to Steve's shoulder, his fingers almost instantly tangling in the hair at the back of Steve's neck. They find their way there most nights Steve is here, his hand on the back of the couch always finding Steve somehow.

"No you don't. No one does. It annoys people. It's weird." Eddie shakes his head, but he's smiling, and blushing, and Steve wants to kiss his bright red cheeks, wants to feel their warmth against his lips.

"It's addicting." Steve counters. Eddie's eyes widen.

"Is it?" He sounds shocked. Steve nods.

"Yeah. I do it all the time now. Even when you aren't doing it. Or aren't even around. I just... count things. You were right. It's calming." Steve says, his hands finding Eddie's, moving his fingers across Eddie's rings.

"You said it was addicting." Eddie mumbled.

"What?"

"You said it was addicting. The counting." Eddie says, finally looking up from his lap. His eyes soft when they find Steve's.

"Oh. Guess I did yeah. Is that... is that bad?" Steve asks, turning one of Eddie's rings around his finger. Eddie shakes his head, once, the red tint crawling down his neck now. The hand Steve's not fiddling with finds its way to the back of Eddie's neck, he rubs the skin there and blinks a few times before looking into his lap again.

"No. Just... no one's ever called anything about me addicting before. Annoying? Yes. Addicting? Not so much. But you did. And you said it like-" Eddie's teeth dig into his bottom lip.

"Like what?" Steve nudges his knee into Eddie, fighting not to smile.

"Like it was a good thing. I guess?" Eddie shrugs. Steve reaches up then, lets go of Eddie's hand and cups his cheek instead, lifting his head so Eddie can see him.

"It is a good thing. The best thing. I could listen to you count all day." Steve smiles then, mirroring Eddie as he laughs a little.

"Oh yeah? You might regret that. I've actually been trying to hold back on it. I know I do it a lot." Eddie shakes his head, frowns a little. Steve moves, presses closer, shakes his head.

"Don't. Don't hold back. Count whatever you want. Whenever you want." He breathes between them.

"Okay." Eddie says, hesitant, he sounds nervous. Steve pulls back a bit, brows furrowed, and then Eddie darts forward, presses his lips to Steve's cheek.

"One." He says when he's settled back on his cushion. His cheeks even more red than before. Steve snorts, opens his mouth to say something but Eddie moves again. His lips hit next to Steve's eyebrow.

"Two."

He presses his lips close to Steve's ear.

"Three." Steve laughs. Eddie kissed his neck twice.

"Four. Five." He breathes, as Steve catches him, doesn't let him settle back down this time. Keeps him close. One hand on the back of Eddie's neck, one hand trailing his fingertips over Eddie's nose, and his cheeks.

"You've got them too ya know? Not like mine. But ... little ones. All over." Steve breathes, his fingers moving slowly over Eddie face until they linger on his lips. Just for a moment, before he cupped Eddie's cheek.

"You wanna count 'em?" Eddie asks, he sounds breathless, and Steve had barely touched him. They were both on their knees now. Their chests nearly pressed together.

"Maybe later. Got something better in mind right now." Steve breathes, eyes dropping to Eddie's mouth. He watches Eddie gulp and smiles.

"Oh yeah? L-like what?" Eddie stammers. His hands grabbing at Steve's waist to keep himself steady.

"Probably better if I just show you." Steve sighs, presses his forehead to Eddie's.

"Okay. Yeah. I'm- I'm definitely a learn by example kinda guy. So that's- that works for me." Eddie rambles, his mouth moving a mile a minute. Steve moves his nose along Eddie's and nods.

"Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. I can do that." Steve agrees, not sure what he's really agreeing too, he just knows he wants to kiss this boy. His friend. Eddie. He wants to kiss Eddie so bad. Has for awhile now. He feels Eddie's hands, one of them moving to his shoulder where his sleeve is still pulled up, Eddie's palm is warm on his arm.

Eddie huffs a nervous laugh and that's all it takes.

Steve kisses him. Gently. Eddie's lips fumble against his for a moment. His inexperience making Steve's stomach flutter. His hands grab at Eddie, pull him closer. Eddie whines against his lips and Steve pulls back, doesn't want to overwhelm him too much.

Eddie drops his head to Steve's shoulder with a breathy laugh. Steve pets at his hair, curls his fingers into it like he's wanted to for ages and pulls genlty, so he can look at Eddie's face.

"You okay?" He asks. Eddie nods, smiles.

"Six." He says, his cheeks dimpling. Steve smiles back, shakes his head. Presses a kiss to the tip of Eddie's nose.

"Seven." Eddie says, no hesitation. Steve swears he honest to god giggles, but would never admit it to anyone.

Eddie's eyes tint with a mix of mischief and seriousness that's all his own as his fingers curl around the hem of Steve shirt.

"Okay seriously though take this off, I wasn't done counting." His voice is completely serious. And Steve, feeling brave, decides to match it, and tugs his shirt up over his head, careful not to hit Eddie in the face. Eddie barks a manic sounding laugh as Steve falls back, pulling Eddie down too, so that he's stradling him.

"Go on then. Count away." Steve shoves his hands under his head, smiles up at Eddie as he looks wide eyed down at Steve. He's bright red, but then his eyes focus, and his hands move to gently touch the skin covering Steve's ribs. His finger tips press down, tickling a bit, as he whispers,

"Twenty eight." His eyes jump to Steve's face, he gives him an encouraging nod, and that's all Eddie needs apparently. Because he starts counting in earnest, his hands moving over Steve's freckles quickly. Numbers falling past his lips, his counting calming Steve the way almost nothing else does.

He gets to fifty and stops. Leans down and presses a kiss to Steve's shoulder.

"Eight." He whispers, and then keeps going. He kisses and counts his way across Steve's skin until he's laying on top of Steve, his hand in his hair. Pressing gentle kisses into Steve's neck as he smiles into Eddie's shoulder, the little voice in his head counting along, in sync with Eddie in a way he'd never expected to be, feeling content as Eddie's numbers become more garbled. Until they fade completely as Eddie drifts off, his breath heavy on Steve's neck.

Steve smiles, moves them a bit so they're settled on the couch a bit better. Eddie doesn't wake. Steve watches him sleep. Soothes his fingers over the crease in Eddie's eyebrows until it smooths out and he melts further into the couch. He smiles at him, closes his eyes as Eddie's arm squeezes around him, pulling him closer. Steve sighs, sinks deeper into the couch as he feels sleep dragging him under. But not before he mumbles, sleepy and soft,

"One." Making sure he marks this. The first time they fall asleep tangled together, the smile on his lips fading as he drifts off to sleep, dreaming of all the never ending numbers in their future.

[blackwithenby]

thinking about autistic eddie munson who doesn't always pick up on innuendos

he's talking really eagerly about guitar, and steve's watching him with a bit of a smirk. he goes, "oh, you must be pretty good with your fingers, then, huh? maybe you should show me later."

and eddie, blissfully oblivious, just lights up and responds with, "you wanna see my technique? i'm really proud of it, it's taken me years to perfect!"

and steve, horny though he is, just wills his dick to soften because he can't bring himself to pop eddie's bubble and risk losing that bright smile. he just nods and says, "yeah! yeah, i'd love to see."

(of course eddie realizes what he means hours after showing steve said finger technique, and lets out a loud, "ohhhh! he wanted me to finger him!" in the middle of the weekly movie night the party has)

[transmunsons]

Eddie doing a deal with Steve at that picnic table after school. Eddie’s on his second senior year and pissed off about it. He’s trying to be cordial to Harrington, but he keeps remembering how the basketball team messes with his Hellfire kids.

So he up charges him, gets a little petty revenge; he’s sure Harrington can afford it anyway. The extra money can go toward Eddie’s T payments.

Something rustles in the woods and Harrington freezes, listening. Some kind of wet, furless animal jumps out of the trees in a blur.

Before Eddie can react, Harrington grabs his hand and pulls him up, heading to the closest sanctuary, the high school. Eddie’s freaking out. They run into the building, and Harrington pulls them into the janitors closet. He lunges to the back, reaching for a mop, but Eddie hears a wet skittering in the hallway and slams the door shut. Harrington whips around at the noise and the sudden darkness. Eddie holds his breath until the creature passes.

“What the fuck is out there?” He hisses at Harrington. The closet is cramped and the floor is littered with cleaning supplies. They're right up on top of one another in the small space. “This is crazy, this is so fucking crazy—”

“Calm down!” Harrington hisses back, closer than he expects, breath brushing against Eddie's cheek.

“Calm? Why are you calm, what's wrong with you?” Eddie's heart is pounding so hard he thinks it might burst out of his chest. He can't breathe. “We just almost got attacked by some fuckin' thing!” He flutters his hands to emphasize 'thing' though Steve probably can't see it in the dark. He smacks a shelf.

“I've seen something like it before, it's some kind of demogorgon.” Harrington says. Eddie splutters. The king of Hawkins High just made a DnD reference.

“How do you—that is not a demogorgon, Harrington! Demogorgons don't exist and even if they did, they don't look like that!”

“Hey, you asked and I answered. And my name is Steve.” He reaches around Eddie and tries the door handle. He's practically hugging him.

Steve swears and flicks on the light switch, illuminating the closet. “It's stuck.”

Eddie can see Steve's face properly now in all its glory. The overhead bulb gleams off Steve's stupidly long eyelashes. He almost wants to turn the light back off. His breathing is still restricted.

“Guess we're trapped in here until somebody comes by.” Steve says.

Eddie balks at the thought of being stuck with Steve in close quarters for so long. “No we're not, just gimme a second.”

Eddie shoves a hand up under his Dio shirt so he can pull his bindings a little away from his chest.

“What are you doing?” Steve sounds alarmed. His eyes are wide.

“Don't get excited,” Eddie winks because apparently he has a death wish, “just need to breathe. Get me a flathead screwdriver. The door opens inward.”

Steve snaps his fingers and points at him, “Right, the hinges!” He turns around to rustle through the shelves, which Eddie, uh, doesn’t mind. Goddamn.

He faces Eddie again with a flathead in his hands and a triumphant look. Eddie grabs it with a ‘thanks’ and goes to work prying pins out of the hinges. He can feel Steve watching him. Eddie gets the door loose and shoves it open, catching it so it doesn’t make noise.

Steve stalks past him wielding a mop like a weapon.

“Where are you going?” Eddie stage whispers.

Steve looks over his shoulder at Eddie, hair artfully falling out of place. “I’ve gotta find that thing, I’m not gonna let it roam the school.”

Eddie looks at Steve, looks back at the exit, looks down at the tile floor.

“Shit.”

He follows.

[hotluncheddie]

Hug.

wc: 3.4k | rated: T | cw: meltdown, burnout | tags: autistic eddie munson, hurt/comfort, pre relationship, pining, hugging | ao3

.𖥔˚

Eddie Munson has a secret. 

He doesn’t know how to hug. 

Sure, he knows how in theory, and he has been hugged before, with mixed reactions. But it’s been a while. Been a long while actually. So long that embarrassingly, part of him, dreads the day he gets the urge to hug someone. Because he doesn’t think he’ll be able to do it right. 

With Wayne they’re in a routine of shoulder pats or a side on squeeze. If Eddie’s having a really bad time he can curl near him on the ratty sofa and likes to rest his forehead on his uncles shoulder, Wayne’s work worn hands coming up to ruffle his hair, let him be for a while. 

But they don’t really hug. Not for real. Not really. 

And Eddie doesn’t mind, is the thing. He doesn’t need that from his uncle. 

With the hellfire boys it’s always been nudges and poking and a friendly kind of wrestled, headlock, type thing. That’s the line, that’s the boundary. And Eddie’s okay with that too, they’re friends, they’re guys, they’re good people but Eddie just doesn’t think he can show that part of himself to them. The part that doesn’t know, the part that sort of wants more but is too afraid to ask. 

Sometimes the thought or actuality of someone touching him makes him kind of queasy. Makes him twist his rings and pull his hair. He doesn’t want it. Not always.

He knows his Nana used to hug him, before she passed away, and his Mom probably did too, he just can’t really remember. But that was normal, that’s what Moms and Nana’s do. But he doesn’t get that now. That type of hugging. 

Then Eddie meets Steve, meets Steve in the upside down. A different Steve than he’d known of in school. A slightly different Steve again once they’re all out, all healed and patched and the horrors hidden away. 

He meets that Steve. And Eddie, Eddie thinks he wants to hug him. 

He knows he’s being a little weird about it. Fluttering in and out of Steve’s space, never quite letting himself touch, never more than a brush of fingers or a nudge of his hip. Never staying still enough to let Steve make a move on what he wants. 

But then the choice is sort of made for the both of them. Pushed together by fate, maybe, if you believe in that. 

All Eddie believes in, all Eddie knows, is that Steve’s house is so fucking loud. 

‘The walls Stevie they’re so, so white. And your fridge! It’s just, loud and and weird.’ Eddie had said, already frustrated when Steve came to pick him up, even more so once they arrived. 

And once he was inside, it was like everything doubled, tripled. Steve’s house was unbearable tonight. 

But Steve had just laughed and Eddie knew he would, knew from the way he’d said it, all loud and over the top - added inflections, a good DM. But, the thing is, he mentioned it because he meant it, for real. It’s too fucking loud, thrumming under his skin. 

Eddie’s curled up on the couch, everyone else over now too for a movie night. They’re usually enjoyable, seeing the kids, Robin, Nancy. It’s nice. 

But tonight, tonight it’s turned up loud and people are talking and it’s not a scary film but it kind of is. 

He’s biting the skin of his cuticles just to feel something other than itchy and floaty and dizzy with discomfort. His heart is beating too fast and he can hear the blood rushing in his ears. overlapping with the films crashing and static and the rustling of snacks and the cars outside. 

His skin feels sweaty against his clothes, sticking to the sofa and ripping him apart. 

It’s loud and Eddie is scared. 

He mutters ‘bathroom’ and thinks Steve next to him probably heard, even with his head resting on Robins shoulder. Doesn’t stop to find out. Doesn’t really care. Just needs to get out. 

He walks quickly to the stairs and tries not to sprint up them, but takes them two at a time, breathing heavily though his nose. 

Eddie closes the door to Steve’s upstairs bathroom, tears prickling his eyes as he steps from one foot to the other, rocking. His hand migrate to his hair, gripping and pulling harshly. tug stop, pain ebb. 

But the noise still travels, it’s better than in would’ve been in the downstairs bathroom but Eddie shoves the heels of his palms against his ears. He’s panting now, vision blurring. Shoulders and neck tense. 

He pushes against his ears harder, wants nothing, wants quiet. Wants it to bite. 

Thing is, he used to love noise. Would seek it out, find it wherever he could. He’d push practice to run late and he’d hang out at the hideout after their set, just to feel that press of voices all around him. The hum of the amps alone used to fill him up something magic, set his bones alight. 

As a kid he used to crinkle paper by his ears, just to hear it crackle and rustle, like white noise static in his brain and skin. Used to beg Wayne to take him to the junkyard every weekend just so he could bang on the big old rusty metal with a stick. Hear the hum crash, bellow and die out. The different tones, the different dents and scrapes changing the sound. He used to spend hours scrabbling around, trying everything he could to make enough sound, make enough noise, to feel that feeling of everything being full and alive and awake and amazing. 

Now though, after. After those bats screams burrowed into him and made noice synonymous with fear and pain and blood red darkness. Now he’s scared of the stray cats that meow in the night, grates his teeth if someone drags him to the diner, the buzz of the fluorescents and scraping of plates making him want to scream. 

Noise used to be his safe space, now he can’t even be in a room full of his friends. Can't tonight, not like this. And see, he’s always been weird but now even that’s changed.

He doesn’t even recognise himself anymore. 

It’s that thought, that fear, that has Eddie dropping to a crouch, knees under his chin. He leans against the bathtub and tries to steady his breathing. But the tears are slipping out and he feel his lungs contract, he can’t breath, he can’t. 

He pushes his hand harder into his ears, the blood rushing. Rocks so his back hits the tub, thud, thud thud. Remembers how horrible those weeks in hospital were, the bed sheets and the beeping and the smell. It would’ve been horrid anyway but after those days full of fear, that adrenaline he’d gone through but not processed. It was unbearable. 

And he’s still not back, not recovered. He’s so tired. Everything’s so tiring. He can only manage to leave the trailer maybe once a week, when he’s dragged out, taken to something by Steve or Wayne or Dustin. (They try for more but Eddie thinks that might actually make him loose it.) He goes out and tries to act normal, tries to keep the people around him from leaving. Goes out but it all feels different. 

He misses the weight and smell of his leather jacket, his jeans from before and wallet chain he used to fiddle with. Misses who he was when he had those things, who he thought he could be.  

Otherwise he’s in his room, trying to feel better. Sleeping a lot, listening to the same album over and over, eating the same thing just because anything else would be too much. Press too hard on his rips. Be an extra boulder stacked onto his already cracking shoulders. 

Eddie doesn’t hear the door open and close quietly, doesn’t hear Steve’s socks pad over the bathroom rug. 

But he feels his body heat and smells his cologne. Eddie still gasping for breath, too afraid to open his eyes or move his hands from his ears. But he feels body heat, Steve’s here. Eddie feels him. 

His still ragged breaths stutter for a moment when he feels Steves large, warm palm settle between his shoulder blades. He flinches at the contact but Steve doesn’t move, just stays there, touching lightly, in that one place, grounding. Bringing Eddie back to his body slowly. His lungs filling up with a little more air each time he breaths. 

He swallows thickly, coming back to himself slightly, but still scared to open his eyes, deeper breaths bracketed by sobs and hiccups. He hates when people see him cry. 

Eventually he moves his hands so they’re just cupped over his ears, instead of pushed tightly against. He can just make out the soft rumbling of Steve’s voice, too quiet to be heard before but Eddie can understand him now. 

‘That’s it, deep breaths. just like me, okay?’ Steve takes a deep breath. ‘That’s it Ed’s, in for two, out for two.’ He breaths out through his mouth, hand rubbing soothing circles over Eddie’s shoulders. 

Eddie follows, breathing deeper, filling his body with oxygen again. Breathing along with Steve. 

Eventually Eddie moves his hands, sniffing again and scrubbing his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He crosses his arms on his knees and buries his head there. 

He takes another deep breath, finally finding the courage to open his eyes and peek over at Steve. 

He’s backlit by the moonlight shining through the frosted window, the only other light in the room is the orange strip across the bottom of the closed bathroom door. 

Eddie can still hear everyone downstairs, the rumble of the tv, but it doesn’t feel so bad now, doesn’t make his skin crawl so much. He’s not ready to got back out there though. Not yet. 

‘Hi.’ Steve says, smiling at Eddie like it’s another normal day and not one where he just helped Eddie though a full on meltdown in his parents bathroom. 

Eddie snorts. God. He’s so embarrassed.

Swallowing Eddie has to force the words out of his chest, would like to not say anything but Steve is here and Steve is smiling at him and the least Eddie can do is speak a little, as uncomfortable as it is. 

‘Sorry.’ He lands on, voice rough and quiet. 

‘No, none of that Ed’s yeah? Remember, party rules?’ And Steve speaks just as quietly as Eddie did, like he knows, knows how fragile Eddie is right now. Eddie grunts, tears bubbling a slipping out again. 

Party rules are that Steve won’t ask twice if someone needs to come over or call, any time of night. If you need a ride to a members house or just to fall asleep with him on the line, he’s there. Eddie can’t count the number of times he’s seen Steve drop Lucas at Max's trailer late at night, Steve watching until he gets inside. If it isn’t too late he’s started coming to check on Eddie too. Sometimes Eddie’s able to see him, engage with him. Sometimes it’s too much, being a person, even in front of Steve. He leaves Wayne to tell him eddies fine, or as fine as Eddie can be, at the moment. 

‘What can I do?’ Steve asks, bringing Eddie back to the present, to Steve’s bathroom floor. 

Eddie screws his eyes up. He, ugh. ‘I don’t know how to, do, what I want.’ Eddie says, nonessential. But he just. He wants. Wants to feel Steve, imagines that warmth, and grounding, wants more. Too much. 

Steve’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but his face still seems kind, like always. Steve’s always kind. ‘What do you want?’ He asks. 

Eddie looks at the floor, there’s a loose thread on the edge of the rug, he stares at it. ‘A hug.’ He mumbles, cheeks flaming. 

‘Oh.’ Steve breaths. And then, like it’s simple, like it’s nothing. ‘Okay.’ he says and Eddie glances at him. 

Steve shifts so his back is flat against the tub, legs out in front of him and arms open. Waiting. 

‘Take your time, any way you want it.’ Steve says. 

Eddie wipes his face again, shifts onto his knees without really thinking, drawn towards Steve like always. But he falters, hands raised but fingers clenching and unfurling. He twitches his head to the left and few times, almost uncontrollably, he does it again. ‘I, ah, um.’ He doesn’t. He doesn’t know how. 

Because this is different still, from Wayne, from his Nana, from friends. This is Steve. 

But Steve just sits, waiting, looking at Eddie. ‘Take your time. Any way you want Ed’s.’ Steve says again softly, imploring. 

Eddie blinks hard and couple times, tugs at his hair again, focus, focus. He shuffles forward and wraps his arms around Steve’s neck a little awkwardly. His back bending to lean far enough, not sure how hard to squeeze, afraid to be too close, touch too much. 

Eddie’s breathing picks up again, he doesn’t, cant, doesn’t know how. He pulls away, scrubbing at his face again. 

‘Can I?’ Steve starts, moving toward Eddie but stops, waiting for a reply. Eddie nods mutely, cheeks flaming. 

Steve moves closer, Eddie knees up against his thigh. He pulls on Eddies leg, getting him to move it over top of Steve’s. Until he’s essentially sitting in his lap. Eddies eyes are wide, Steve is so close, so warm. 

He keeps going, slowly, bringing Eddie’s chest to his slowly, wrapping Eddie’s arms around his torso and then wrapping his own around Eddie. One big warm palm leading Eddie’s head into the crook of Steve’s neck, where it’s dark, smells strongly of citrus and musk. 

Eddie’s tense, muscles locked tight, but then Steve shifts one more time, getting comfortable and squeezes Eddie once. The pressure, it unlocks something inside him. Steve breaths out, like he’s relaxing too, like this is nice for Steve too. 

‘S’okay Eddie, relax for me.’ Steve prompts quietly, arms squeezing again. Everything soft and quiet and warm. 

Eddie tips over the edge. 

He empties his lungs, slow and stuttering, in and out. Relaxes. Slumping down onto Steve and lets go. ‘Oh.’ It feels so good to be held, to be wrapped up like this. Steve’s arms hold firm around him, pulling them impossibly closer. 

Eddie whimpers, let’s go fully, drifts. 

He thinks he might honestly fall asleep, so exhausted from his meltdown, the emotion and sensory, twist and release. 

He comes too with Steve stroking a hand over his hair and down his back, repeating the long slow motion over and over, like Eddie is some overgrown cat. 

He breaths deep one last time, steals himself for the cold of letting go. Sits back on his heels, extracting himself from Steve’s neck and unfurling his grip of Steve’s waist. 

But Steve stops him getting too far. One hand on the back in eddies neck, one at his hip. It’s almost too much, makes Eddie think about more than friends, about skin on skin. About being held like this, only different. 

‘Sorry, um, thanks.’ He says, afraid to look Steve in the eye, staring at the collar of his polo instead, reaching up to fiddle with one of the little shiny buttons. 

Steve just squeezes Eddie’s neck, letting go to move around slightly now that Eddie’s whole weight isn’t on him anymore. ‘For someone who says they don’t know how to hug, that was pretty nice.’ Steve says once he’s settled, hands back on Eddie hips. 

That makes Eddie glance up, flick his eyes to Steve’s and back down. Just enough time to take in his soft smile and kind gaze, down tuned and sleepy. He looks relaxed, happy. 

Eddie’s heart clenches. But he just huffs, ‘yeah, sure.’ Only he can’t help smiling a little, half believing. Half believing the ridiculousness, That Steve would enjoy this too. 

But Steve reaches up and tucks some hair behind Eddie’s ear, so soft and caring. ‘Hey, I mean it. And if you ever want, ever need this again. I’m here.’ He says, voice still a whisper. 

Eddie feels tears prickle again, how could, how is Steve even real? ‘Careful Stevie.’ He jokes. ‘Say any more and you’ll never get rid of me.’ Eddie doesn’t to want to go, Eddie wants to stay right here forever. But he knows he can’t. Can’t do that. 

‘I mean it Ed’s, any time you want. How-however you want.’ And Steve looks up at him, cheeks pink in the moonlight and eyes wide. Like he’s said too much, like he’s scared too. 

Eddie wants to kiss him. 

Wants to bury his head back in Steve’s neck and never come out. Wants to slip his tongue past the seam of Steve’s lips and grind his hips down just to see what noises he’ll get. Wants to hear him and touch him and taste him all over. Wants to curl up in bed next to him and bring him over to have dinner with Wayne. Wants to share his food and listen to his heartbeat and let Steve in. Let him see more. More of Eddie. 

But not now. Not when there’s salt tracks in his face and phlegm in his throat. When he needs a glass of water and a, like, nine hour nap. ‘Kay.’ He settles on, voice wet but happy, he’s so happy, to have Steve now, even if it’s hard and he’s so tired and so scared. He has Steve. He has Wayne and his friends and he has Steve. ‘Thank you.’ Eddie whispers, feeling held by the dark bathroom. Space and time on pause. He feels brave, feels exposed and covered head to toe in all his past and all his present. Feels here, feels now. 

Eddie leans forward and places the softest of kisses on Steve’s cheek. The first he’s ever given, and how nice, that it’s Steve. How nice, to feel his warmth and hear his little intake of breath. 

Eddie blushes, scrubs at his cheeks again. Slipping off of Steve’s thighs to sit back next to him, shoulder to shoulder, on the little bathroom rug. 

‘Do you want to go back down? Or um, I can take you home?’ Steve asks, sounds unsure but his voice is soft, steady. Eddie bites his thumb, rubs his knuckles against his teeth. 

He doesn’t know what he wants. Wishes they could stay here forever. But there’s a room full of people and this is Steve’s house, he can’t just leave them, can’t just stay here, with Eddie, in his parents bathroom. 

‘I’ll uhm, I’ll just wait here a little longer, until the movie finishes. You go down, be a good host.’ And Eddie smiles, but he doesn’t feel it in his eyes, can’t face the light and noise again just yet, the questions or glances that might come his way. 

‘I’ll go check on them then, take some back and then you can go last. Or, or stay, if you, if you want.’ 

Eddie’s heart clenches again. He wants to, to stay. But he also wants his bed, familiar and inviting. Wants to smell Wayne in the air and have his tape on to fall asleep. Wants normal, after tonight. Needs it. 

But one day. When he feels better. When that spark he had sometimes comes back, the one that believed he could be a rockstar or a writer. That would dream up campaigns and have the energy to write them down. When that part of him comes back, when he’s not so tired. Then he’ll go to Steve, offer himself up, ask for more, ask to stay. 

But tonight he’s too close to breaking, too flayed open and rubbed pink. ‘A lift home later would be nice, just us?’ He asks, it’s so much, fills him up. It’s everything he wants, in this moment. 

Steve nods, bumping their knees together. 

He’s so good, Eddie marvels, for the hundredth time. 

‘Course. I’ll bring you some water.’ And Steve shifts to stand, using Eddie to help him up. It’s so nice, to be this close, a barrier broken, new rules to be made. 

‘You can wait in my room, if you want? It might be more comfortable.’ Steve says, hand on the doorknob. Eddie just nods, blushes, not even sure why. But Steve smiles, pretty and boyish and small.  

He slips out and turns off the light on the landing, the whole floor bathed in darkness. Eddie didn’t even ask, he didn’t even have to. He feels tears well again, laughing a little at it all. At the Steve of it all. 

He stays curled up on the bathroom rug a little longer, in the new quiet memory of Steve and warmth and darkness. Until he’s ready. Knows Steve will be waiting. 

.𖥔˚

Tag List (open) : @scoops-aboy86 @pearynice @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @cheesedoctor @chickensinrainboots

also.. @spectrum-spectre @babydollbaron @flowercrowngods just bc :)

[stevesbipanic]

Eddie sometimes went quiet.

Wayne noticed it after Eddie moved in. He didn't do it as much when he was little and Mary would bring him round, but here he was at ten years old completely silent. When Eddie was little Wayne assumed the boy was just shy, but now that he lived with Eddie he knew that sometimes a whole week would pass with not a peep from the young boy. M

The doctor said it might be a trauma response, might just be something he would do from time to time, either way, Eddie Munson, one of the loudest and dramatic kids Wayne had ever met would still be him, just nonverbal. They worked with a notebook but sometimes Eddie would get frustrated he wasn't being answered fast enough and they were running out of paper.

It was Wayne's buddy from work that presented a solution. "Have you tried sign language? My son was born deaf and Susan and I went to night classes so we could talk to the kid." So that's exactly what Wayne did, he moved his shifts to the day and spent his nights at the school learning to talk to his boy. On his days off he'd show Eddie what he'd learnt and slowly they were able to bridge the gap that the silence presented.

The silent days didn't stop as he grew older, his teachers didn't really understand and sometimes he'd end up in detention with a note saying he was being disrespectful. His friends understood though and enthusiastically asked Eddie to teach them sign language, they'd use it even when Eddie was happily chatting with them, they liked that they shared a 'secret' language from the bullies.

He hadn't had any silent days since Vecna, which Eddie thought was a miracle in itself given the circumstances. However, he woke up a couple months after spring break knowing what kind of day it was going to be. He felt frustrated with himself, he was supposed to be hanging out with Steve and Robin today and was worried with how they'd take it, especially Steve. They'd been dancing around each other's feelings lately and he didn't want to ruin everything before it even started. Resigned he grabbed a notebook and pen and headed to Family Video.

He'd spent ten minutes psyching himself up in the parking lot before heading inside, note written and ready explaining that no it wasn't anything Upside Down related, he just wouldn't be speaking today. The door's bell rings in his ear as he stops suddenly staring at the scene before him. Steve and Robin were, quite rapidly, signing at each other. Steve turns at the bell, smiling at Eddie.

"Eddie!"

Still in a bit of shock, Eddie signs on instinct, "You know sign?"

Steve has the same look of shock now, before his face breaks into an even bigger smile and signs back, "You know sign! You know sign, how, why?"

His hands are faster than his brain as he explains how he goes quiet sometimes, and Wayne and night classes and Hellfire before asking Steve how he and Robin know sign.

Steve looks bashful as he signs back, "Um, after Starcourt my hearing started to go, so Robin, ever the linguist, insisted we learn, which was actually very smart of her. I can still kinda hear but I get by mainly on lip reading."

Things started to make sense now to Eddie, how sometimes Steve seemed to just nod and smile at whatever the kids were saying, or would need things repeated to him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me about going nonverbal? Robbie has days like that too."

"Didn't want you to think I was weird."

"I like that you're weird, I like you, Eds."

Eddie blushes at what he interprets is his sign name from Steve, the letter E and the sign for love combined.

"I like you too, Stevie." Eddie signs, the letter S mixed with the sign for heart.

Eddie may still have his silent days, but now he shares them with Steve, and they can sign the things he's not allowed to say out loud, making sure they both know they're loved.

[steventhusiast]

Steve and Eddie both being autistic and not finding out until one of their kids gets diagnosed autistic in the late 2000s.

Turns out when you grow up not knowing you're processing things differently to everyone else, the alarm bells don't go off when your kids do the same. Not for them anyway. Not until a teacher called them to set up a meeting and gently suggested they get their kid assessed.

And while they're at the appointment, after making a few too many comments like "but that's normal right, I did that?" about different things, they end up leaving with a phone number for another doctor. Everything slots into place, they just don’t really know how to start unlearning their masks.

But they try. If not for themselves, for their kid, who they don’t want to grow up learning to detach themself and hide away from the world.

So they figure out how to help each other. They remind each other that stimming is okay and normal, try to set a good example for their kid of letting themselves self-regulate that way. They put time into figuring out everyone in their family's individual sensory sensitivities, and adjust their environments accordingly. They consciously try to be more direct with each other and their kids to avoid pointless misunderstandings. They try to work through the shame they feel when being their true selves around other people.

And they’re not always successful. But they do understand themselves a little better every day.

Plus, seeing their kid be able to grow up unmasked? To be authentically themself, without shame? It's healing. They never got to have that (may never truly have that), but they're gonna make damn sure their kid does.

[ofthemoonfolk]

What if I said, autistic Steddie stimming after a hard day to regulate?

I’m thinking Eddie rocking to music on the floor and Steve coming to join him cause the music is making his brain tingle in a good way

Steve cooking in the kitchen letting his hands flap and him bouncing in joy when he tastes the food and it’s perfect, Eddie watching him with big doe eyes until Steve gives him a taste and then he joins Steve’s bouncing because his happiness is infectious

Them both sitting watching some show and quietly humming to themselves, then Eddie hears a character make a funny noise so he starts making the noise too and because he made the noise Steve has to make it too

Eddie getting zoomies before they climb into bed which ends in a game of chase around the apartment because he’s been playfully teasing Steve so he gets a reaction out of him until Steve tackles him to the bed and before he can roll to the side so he doesn’t squish Eddie, he tightens his arms around Steve and uses him as a weighted blanket before rolling them over and being a weight for Steve too and that’s how they fall asleep tightly holding each other because it feels good and they are just so happy

[xxbottlecapx]

Semi verbal Steve harrington and hyperverbal Eddie Munson my beloved

[halfadoginatank]

Autistic eddie munson this, autistic robin Buckley that. What about autistic steve Harrington? What about the little audhd kid who wasn't in a safe place, a safe home, to unmask. To be born how you are and sniffed out that something is wrong with you, to spend hours in the bathroom, alone. Learning how to mimic tone and expressions.

To spend years masking until when the day comes where you have a best friend just like you, a boyfriend, a brother, just like you. To work that mask off of yourself, and finally see who you are. Crying in the same mirror you practiced in because you dont recognize yourself happy, safe, and loved.

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Eddie definitely has like a stack of books he got from the library when he was like 14 and just never returned. The books are on fish and the underwater world because Eddie is a huge marine biology nerd

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Steve's not obsessed with Eddie's hands.

He's not.

They're just... he happened to notice them, once, when Eddie was listening to Dustin talk through how he might want to make his first DM campaign play out.

Steve wasn't even really paying attention at first, just reading some comic he'd found lying in Eddie's room. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he'd seen it. Movement.

Eddie and Dustin were sitting at the small kitchen table, Dustin talking about puzzles and traps and monsters and Eddie was smiling, nodding encouragingly, looking more and more exicted. But it wasn't the movement of his head that drew Steve's attention.

It was his hands.

They were resting on the sides of his legs, tapping.

Steve could only see one hand really, but he could see Eddie's other arm jumping the same way, his hands moving faster and faster the more excited he got, until they were just hovering near his legs, flapping in the air beside him as he smiled widely at Dustin. He suggested a few things, to Dustin, Steve's pretty sure that's what he was saying anyway, his ears weren't great anymore if he wasn't focused, and right now, all of his focus was on Eddie's hands.

Dustin slapped his hand on the table, pointed at Eddie and then started scribbling as Eddie laughed, Steve always managed to hear Eddie's laugh, his hands flapping harder, slapping at his thighs.

Steve vaguely hears his name, cocks his head to the side, but doesn't respond, his eyes still locked on Eddie's flapping hands, and then they stop moving. Both of them freezing, the one Steve can see clamps down on Eddie's thigh, fingers pressing into his jeans.

Steve blinks. Tears his eyes away. Looks at Eddie.

He's staring at Steve, his cheeks tinted pink. Steve swallows, gives him a little smile before Dustin has his attention, chatting at him about what he and Eddie had just come up with.

Steve hears about half of it. Nodding when he thinks he should, trying his best to sound interested. It's enough for Dustin. The barely there commitment. And usually Steve is better at engaging with him, even though he has no clue what he's talking about.

But he's distracted. His eyes keep wandering to Eddie's hands. But they don't move again the whole time he's there, Eddie's knuckles turn white as Steve's eyes linger on his hand. His fingers still pressing into his thigh, they drum a quick beat here and there, but his hands don't move.

Steve sighs, drags his eyes away, and tries to keep them off Eddie. Somehow feeling like Eddie is embarrassed, or upset, that Steve had seen... whatever it was he'd seen.

~°~

It keeps happening.

Eddie's flapping hands.

Steve's eyes on them.

But he's careful now. He doesn't stare. Just steals glances when the movements draw his eye. And Eddie always has his hands under tables, or tucked close to his sides, when it happens. Like he's trying to hide it.

Steve doesn't understand why. He likes it. Every time he sees Eddie's hands moving excitedly it makes his chest flutter. Like he's so happy that Eddie's happy it just fills him with warmth.

But it happens other times too.

Not only when he's happy.

It happens when he's nervous.

Happens when he's scared.

The movements are more erratic when he's nervous or scared. His hands flap, shake, clench, and unclench at his sides.

Every time, Steve wants to reach out and touch. To take his hands, hold them in his and tell him he's okay. That whatever it is. Steve will help.

But he hides it. Behind distracting smiles, and under tables, and behind his back, sometimes. But Steve sees him, watches him, and he wants.

Wants to ask. Wants to touch. Wants to be touched.

Wants to feel Eddie's shaking, flapping, hands against him. Wants to be the reason they flap happily at his sides sometimes. Wants to feel them flap happily against his sides. Wonders if Eddie would do that against his back if he kissed him.

Or if he'd do it lying underneath Steve, clutching at his shirt before his hands just taptaptaptapped against his back as Steve pressed him into his matress.

Or maybe he'd hold Eddie's hands, up above his head. Feel his fingers tapping against his hands as Steve kissed him, nice and slow. Eddie would just tap faster, if he was happy, if he wanted that, with Steve.

Steve sighed, deeply, and glanced at Eddie's hands, his left one resting in his lap, thumb twisting at his ring. His right one, hanging down by his leg, shaking happily as he listened to Will and Dustin make plans for their new campaign, and wished he could reach out and touch him. Even just settle his hand against Eddie's, just to feel the joy shake out of his body.

~°~

The first time Steve reaches out and takes Eddie's shaking hand, is at the summer carnival.

It's hot. And crowded. And loud. And they're waiting in line for some ride the kids want to drag them on. People laughing and screaming and crowding around, jostling them and bumping their shoulders.

And Eddie had gone quiet about five minutes ago. Steve keeps glancing down, watching his hands. It takes three more minutes. But they start to shake, flapping at his sides before he grabs at his jeans, wipes his palms, lets them shake again.

Steve leans forward, tells Dustin they'll be over by the benches, and he grabs Eddie's hand, gently slides his hand into Eddie's. Eddie looks at him, blinking rapidly.

"You wanna come with me? Get outta here?" Steve asks, jerks his head to the side. Eddie nods immediately, his fingers clamping down on Steve's hand, hard. But Steve doesn't care, because Eddie's hand shakes, just once or twice, and then it stops. And his hand is warm, and strong, inside Steve's as he leads them to the benches and sits Eddie down.

He gives him a drink of his lemon shake up, snorts when Eddie makes a face at the sour taste, and then sits next to him.

Eddie takes a few deep breaths, his eyes closed. He takes his hand out of Steve's, leaving him aching for his touch. Steve just lets him go, rests his hand in his lap instead.

"Thanks." Eddie sighs, after a long moment, his eyes finally opening, they don't land on Steve. Stay locked on his lap.

"Anytime." He says, and he means it. Deep in his chest he means it, he'd do anything for Eddie. Always. Eddie smiles, finally looking at him.

"Can't believe you tried to kill me with that though." Eddie huffs, kicks Steve's shoe with his own and nods at the cup sitting between them.

Steve laughs, watches Eddie smile, his fingers twitching in his lap, his wrist twitches once, Steve's pretty sure it counts.

~°~

The second time he touches Eddie's hands, Eddie's just made them grilled cheese, his signature dish. And he's stitting in front of Steve, his chin resting in one hand, his other hand hidden under the table. He's watching as Steve chews his first bite.

"Weeeell?" He asks, impatient, as always. Steve makes a show of chewing slower, his eyes lifting to the ceiling as he hums, thinking. Eddie kicks at his shin under the table, his socked foot not hurting at all. Steve snorts, kicks back, and says,

"It's good. Really good. Best grilled cheese I ever had." He's serious, knows he sounds like he's teasing.

"Yeah? You like it? I didn't burn it? I mean I know you said you like them crispy but I thought maybe I got it too dark. Might have burnt it." Eddie rambles, and Steve just smiles, shakes his head.

"It's perfect, actually. You're a grilled cheese wizard. Or a... grilled cheese... bard. No I don't think that's a thing. Wizard applies more here, pretty sure." Steve says, waving off his own words like they're nonsense, looking toward the ceiling again to avoid Eddie's, no doubt, exasperated look.

But that's when he sees it.

His eyes are on their way to the ceiling when he sees Eddie's hand, flapping next to his thigh. Steve looks back to him, sees him beaming, and can't help himself when he reaches out and grabs Eddie's shaking hand.

But it's a mistake. He didn't know it would be. Didn't think. Had forgotten about that first day when Eddie had caught him staring and froze.

The smile drops off Eddie's face and he tugs his hand quickly away from Steve, hiding it in his lap, scooting back in his chair, away from Steve, his eyes on the table.

"Sorry. I can't- sorry." He stammers, shaking his head, his cheeks are red, his eyes darting around the table top as he curls in on himself, arms wrapped around his stomach protectively.

"What are you sorry for? You don't have to be sorry." Steve says, his voice soft, just a breath between them really. Eddie frowns, shakes his head again.

"No. It's annoying. I know it is. It just happens. I can't help it." Eddie's voice is firm, his words sound rehearsed, like he's said them a thousand times. It makes Steve's chest ache, with pain for Eddie, and with anger for whoever told him that any part of himself was annoying. Especially this part, a part of him that Steve is sure is pure joy, made visible, made tangible and expressive.

"It's not annoying." Steve says, and he sounds... mad? A little. But not at Eddie. Eddie's eyes snap up, lock on Steve's face, he doesn't blink.

"It's not." Steve reaffirms, one shake of his head. He moves his hand, slides it across the table top slowly, towards Eddie, and then turns it, palm up, waiting.

Eddie's eyes twitch from his face to his hand and back again. Steve smiles, small, and wiggles his fingers, gives Eddie a nod.

"C'mon. It's okay." He nods his head again, eyes dropping to his hand and then back to Eddie's face. Eddie swallows, sits a little straighter, unwraps his arms from his stomach. Steve sees his arms flex, knows Eddie is squeezing his thigh under the table, nervous. But then he moves, slowly brings his hand up, and places it in Steve's.

He sighs, the contact he's been waiting for finally made, Eddie's breathing is shakey as he watches Steve curl his fingers around his hand, pull it closer across the table.

"It's not annoying Eddie it's-" Steve pauses. Eddie frowns, a grimace really.

"Hey. No. I mean it. I like it." Steve says, and Eddie looks at him, his eyes moving back to their tangled hands over and over.

"You do?" He asks, and he sounds so fucking small. So unsure. So Steve does the only thing he can think of, he stands, drags Eddie to his feet as well, and then presses a kiss to Eddie's knuckles.

"I do. I really do. That's why I was staring." Steve says, breathes it against Eddie's hand, smiles when Eddie's fingers twitch against him.

"I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable. But it wasn't because I was annoyed. I promise you that. You believe me?" Steve ducks his head a little, tries to get Eddie to look at him, he's got his free hand up by his mouth, his nail worrying between his teeth. And Steve has to smile, can see Eddie thinking, trying to make sure he does, believe Steve. One moment more and Eddie nods, presses his lips together, and looks at Steve.

"I believe you." He says, teeth worrying into his lip.

"Good. So you- I mean you don't have to hide it. Around me. If you don't want. Cuz I meant what I said. I like it. A lot." Steve feels heat rush into his cheeks and closes his eyes, breathes against Eddie's knuckles for a moment before he looks back up to see Eddie smiling at him. Looking a little in awe. A little breathless.

"You like it that much?" His nose scrunches and Steve just want to fucking kiss him. He nods instead.

"Yeah. I really do. It's like you've got... I don't know... happy little bat wings. Just flapping around you when you're having a good time. I love it. I love-" Steve stops, the words caught in his throat, because that's too much. Maybe. For right now. But he feels it. Has felt it for Eddie for awhile now, the warmth of it humming beneath his skin when Eddie's near him.

Eddie's beaming at him now, tears shining in his eyes, he hides behind his hair, for just a second, before he darts forward, presses his lips to Steve's, a quick press, and then he's gone again, and the space between them is small but still too much.

"Sorry. I've never done that before." Eddie breathes. Steve watches something that could be fear, or regret, pass over Eddie's features like a shadow, and refuses to let it stay there, not even a second longer.

He drops Eddie's hand and cradles Eddie's neck, draws him closer, til their sharing breath.

"Stop apologizing. I want this. You." Steve whispers, pressing his forehead to Eddie's.

"I want you t-"

And Steve kissing him. Slow. Sweet. His hands holding Eddie close. Steve moves his tongue along Eddie's bottom lip, smiles into Eddie's mouth when he gasps, and then deepens the kiss, just so, tilting Eddie's head a little for a better angle. Eddie moans into his mouth, his hands scrambling to grab at Steve's back, clenching in his shirt and unclenching as Steve tilts his world on it's axis.

And then Steve feels it, Eddie's hands, tapping against his back, like he'd thought about since that first day, like he'd dreamed about, on several occasions. Too many to count.

Steve hums into Eddie's mouth, smiles against his lips, their teeth clicking together as Eddie smiles too, laughs into Steve's mouth, his breath filling Steve's lungs as they cling to each other.

See, Steve's not obsessed with Eddie's hands.

He just knew they'd feel perfect tapping out happy rhythms against his skin.

And for once, in his traumatic, full of bullshit life, Steve was right.

He's not obsessed with Eddie's hands.

But he does love them.

The way they move, and shake, and show all of Eddie's joys, wild, and uncontrolled.

And his to hold.

[wynnyfryd]

i want oblivious idiot-to-lover eddie but specifically autistic eddie who’s well aware that he is Feeling Things but doesn’t understand how to interpret the sum of the sensations/thoughts he’s having as romantic love.

“i’m not in love with him, i just think he’s interesting to look at. and the veins in his hands are nice. and i feel a weird pang in my chest when he speaks and i have this ridiculous and near constant urge to feed him soup on my couch, is that— is that what people mean by love?”

and robin just like “….dingus. please.”

“what?! how should i-”

“-what do you mean ‘what’? did you think it was going to feel like literal fireworks in your chest or something??”

“i don’t know!! maybe!”

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Bubble Therapy - Eddie Munson

Eddie Munson x Original Female Character

Summary: Eddie is filthy and now that he's home from the hospital he no longer has an excuse to stay that way. Also, Eddie has never had a bubble bath before :(

Tags: Fluff, Love, Joking, Banter, Angst, Spicy references, Small amount of Spice, inner healing/healing Eddie's inner child, Mommy!kink/Mommy!Dom if you squint, Basically Eddie has Mommy issues.. and Daddy issues.

TWs: past child abuse, past child neglect, drug references

Words: 5.2k

A/N: This story sits canonically after, Aftermath and before Drop Out but should be able to be read as a standalone. More notes at the end.

~~

Eddie was sulking.

Karmen could tell as she popped her head around the corner of the bedroom door and looked in on him curled up on his side of the bed. Above the covers as she had instructed. The sour look on his face as he glowered at the wall made her feel a little sorry for him but more than anything, it made her want to laugh.

He was being juvenile. 

“Alright, I’m ready for you.” She called, catching his attention as cross eyes flicked towards her and then back to the wall. As if to check if she had been speaking to him. As if they weren’t alone in her house on a random Thursday night.

As if she hadn’t said she was walking away to get things ready for his bath.

“Do I have to?” He asked rhetorically, sullen face pressing his lips together as she answered simply that yes, he did.

He had been home from the hospital for a week now after his ordeal in The Upside Down or as Karmen knew it, the car accident. 

He was currently staying with her in her home. Having freaked out when he’d returned to the trailer. She and Wayne hadn’t managed to get him to sleep there more than one night and she wasn’t really sure how much of that he had actually spent sleeping.

She understood. He hadn’t been back there that she knew of, since he’d seen a girl murdered right in front of his eyes in the living room he’d grown up in.

She didn’t want him to have to stay there if he didn’t want to. She was more than happy to house him. She just had one, simple condition. 

That he washed at least once a week.

Wayne had helped him into the shower when he’d returned to the trailer and he’d sat in the bottom of it like a petulant child as Karmen scrubbed him top to bottom. Albeit gently as he was still healing. It was his first proper wash since he’d woken up alive in the alternative version of the trailer park. Half eaten and covered in blood.

He’d been cleaned up somewhat before he was rushed to surgery back in the real world and he had been sponge bathed during his hospital stay. But nothing had quite compared to the feeling of washing away weeks worth of grime that he hadn’t even realized was still hiding on his body.

That being said, he wasn’t keen to do it again.

It had taken a lot out of him and while he was getting better at moving around on his own, he was still very sore and sorry. He was shaky on his feet and the feeling of the water hitting his skin in the shower had quickly grown overstimulating. Making him want to scream but instead all he could do was silently cry as Karmen apologized over and over for making him do it.

He’d found his words again shortly after returning to Karmen’s house. Having been effectively mute for the majority of his hospital stay. He hadn’t been able to talk, to tell her everything that was happening with him. His brain had been blocking his ability to speak in the way it used to when he was a child.

Nonverbal.

They had called it. He was nonverbal during his hospital stay. But after getting to come back to a familiar place that hadn’t been tainted by a horrific tragedy that he was reminded of everywhere he looked. The block in his brain had started to fall away. To dissolve and reabsorb itself as words that he couldn’t form days earlier fell from his lips with ease. Small at first, one word answers until this point in time where he was again, much to everyone’s relief, speaking full sentences.

Although he was still keeping things close to his chest. He could talk and that was what mattered to his loved ones in the moment.

The only downside being that a verbal Eddie was an argumentative one.

He wasn’t afraid to say he didn’t want to do something and when Karmen had brought up how dirty he’d gotten just lying around the house during the week he had immediately felt defensive and made a snippy remark about how that reflected her housekeeping skills more than his personal hygiene.

He’d regretted it instantly. Seeing anger flash in her eyes and watching as her jaw set together hard. A frustrated exhale through flared nostrils prompted him to apologize quickly and profusely as she told him she was going to organize a bath and made him promise to not get under the covers in her bed while his feet were so disgusting.

She’d calmed down in the time it took her to organize his bath. She knew he didn’t mean it and if he’d been in his right mind he never would have said it even if it was something he thought on the inside. Which, considering the state of his own bedroom, she highly doubted.

Either that or he was the world’s biggest hypocrite and she wouldn’t hesitate to point that out if he doubled down. 

She knew he was defensive because he hadn’t enjoyed his shower at the trailer and he was dreading going through that again. His anger was reactive and while that didn’t excuse it in general, she gave him a pass in this particular instance and put her energy into making this a nice experience for him so that hopefully he wouldn’t fight her so hard on getting clean in the future.

Karmen nodded at him again when he didn’t respond to her answer. Walking into the room to stand next to the bed and waiting with thin patience for him to move.

“Ugh.” He groaned, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Something he’d still been struggling with a week earlier. “Okay.” He moaned, unable to keep the reluctancy from his tone as Karmen held out a hand to help him up.

“Bring your cane, we’re going to the main bathroom.” She reminded him, picking up the cheap walking stick she’d bought from Melvald’s the day after he’d returned home and placing it in his other hand. 

Eddie had grumbled about using it. But conceded after it had saved him from fall that maybe it was best.

He still hated it. But he was aware that it was temporary and that there were people out there who weren't so lucky as to be able to put their cane down after a couple of weeks. He tried his best to be grateful knowing it would end eventually.

“What?” He asked, more of a whine than a word. “Why not in here?” He complained, nodding towards the ensuite and watching as she cocked her head at the question.

“I don’t have a bath in there.” She answered plainly, as if it was an obvious answer.

“A bath?” Eddie asked with a scowl.

Oh no. 

He already didn’t want to shower but an actual bath was worse somehow.

“Yeah.” She replied, jerking her head towards the doorway of the bedroom. “I told you I was going to run you a bath.” She said tiredly, shaking her head at the way he muttered to himself.

“I thought it was a figure of speech.” He admitted quietly.

“Well what did you think I was doing that whole time?” She asked incredulously, shrugging at him as he mimicked her, shrugging his shoulders back.

“I don’t know…” He replied earnestly. “Toilet.”

“I was gone for like twenty minutes!” Karmen exclaimed, offended. “The water pressure here is shit by the way.” She added with a snicker.

“Not an unusual amount of time for you.” Eddie smirked as her mouth fell open in disbelief.

“Stop sassing me.” She warned him. She had let the first remark go. But commenting on her toilet breaks was too far. Even her boss let it go when she made it back to her desk after twenty minutes of reading Garfield… And he was paying her! 

“I tried to do a nice thing for you. Come on, it’s all ready for you.” She said, shaking the hand she held out for him to take.

“I appreciate it but…”  He began, trailing off as she gave him a pointed look and he decided it was better for him if he just started getting up instead of arguing.

He could argue about it on the way to the bathroom.

“It’ll get cold while you sit here whining.” She cautioned as he placed his hand in hers.

“Wouldn’t want that.” Eddie replied wryly, rolling his eyes.

“No you wouldn’t.” She agreed, knowing he was being cheeky and choosing to ignore it because he was agreeing with her point of view.

“Oh why, are there lots of bubbles?” He asked sarcastically as he grunted through the pain of standing, using her hand and his cane to steady himself.

“Of course.” Karmen answered with a laugh as she turned towards the bathroom and tried to pull him behind her. The heavy weight of Eddie not moving forced her to halt.

“What?” She asked, turning to face him. Baffled to find him frowning.

“No, nothing.” He replied quickly, shaking his head and limping closer as Karmen cocked a brow in his direction.

“No, what? What’s wrong?” She asked gently, placing a hand on the uninjured side of his chest and ducking into his view as he shrugged at her.

“Nothings wrong I just… I’ve never had a bath with bubbles before.” He answered simply. Staring into disbelieving eyes as she blinked at him dumbly.

“You’ve never had a bubble bath?” She asked after a moment of surprised silence. More of a shocked statement than a question.

“Nope.” He replied simply.

“Like, not even as a kid?” She asked, stunned, as he shrugged again.

“My parents couldn’t afford fancy shit like that and playing with me in the bath wasn’t exactly Wayne’s brand of parenting.” He chuckled. “Thank God.” He added under his breath, making her huff out a laugh.

“Oh my God…” She said empathetically. “Well what are you waiting for then, come on?” She encouraged, tugging on his hand as she turned back towards the bathroom.

He followed behind her quietly. The soft drag of his foot and the dull thud of his cane against the hardwood announcing his injured gate as he limped along behind her at a pace that he felt she must find infuriating in her healthy state.

They made it to the bathroom eventually.

Eddie’s brows shot towards his hairline as Karmen nudged the door open and steam began to seep out from inside.

“Quick.” She instructed him hopefully. Knowing full well that he couldn’t actually move very fast but he could at least pretend to try.

He did pretend to try. Grunting as he shuffled past her into the small room at the same pace as he was moving before but taking smaller steps so it seemed like he was moving faster.

She smiled to herself, pulling the door closed behind them to trap the heat and gesturing for him to keep moving so they both had room in there.

She couldn’t see his face but she knew he was smiling. The tone of his voice gave it away as he whispered a small:

“Wow.”

“You like?” She asked, as she began to scoop her hair into her hands before pulling it up to the top of her head and securing it in a loose bun with the scrunchy on her wrist.

She was already starting to sweat in the small space and needed her hair off her neck immediately.

“Yeah.” Eddie answered simply, emotion in his voice as he turned to her with watery eyes. “I like.” He added with a pout as she smiled up at him, feeling satisfied.

“Good.” She said as he turned back to the bath. The water was as high as she could justify letting it go without knowing it would for sure spill over the sides when Eddie got in. The bubbles were piled high atop the surface, coming up at least seven inches above the rim on the tub and fizzing away in the silence of the small space.

The aroma in the room was delicious. She’d used some of her favorite bath oils. Christmas gifts from her lazy brothers that were actually thoughtful gifts from her Mother. She’d mixed them with the muscle relaxing salts she’d bought from the pharmacy and the children’s bubble bath she had on hand for when she babysat. She’d spent a lot of time on her knees, fluffing up the water to make sure the bubble bath had worked as intended, if not better than.

The light was still on in the small room but she’d lit candles that rested on the sink and the windowsill. The little lights flickered around and threatened to extinguish under the change of air pressure from them both entering. They were adding to the yummy smell in the room. 

Eddie squinted to read the name of the one closest to him.

Confetti Cupcake.

No wonder it smelled so damn good. He wasn’t a stranger to a good cupcake.

Karmen leaned down and gently removed his cane from his hand. Making sure he was steady before leaning it up against the side of the shower just a foot away from where he would be sitting in the bath.

She knew Eddie was grateful that he wouldn’t have to use it forever but he relied heavily on it for now. She wanted to make sure it was easily within reach for him at all times.

“Now, let’s get you undressed Honey.” She said softly, not missing the shiver that ran down his spine at the words. The tender way she’d spoken them awakening something inside of him briefly before he pushed it back down and leant against the sink to brace himself against being knocked over as she squished around him so she was facing his front.

“You like that?” She asked knowingly as she reached for the hem of his shirt. His tongue darted out to lick at his lips as he averted his eyes. Nodding at the question as she smiled to herself at his response. 

Eddie wasn’t sure exactly what about it he liked. Just that he knew he most certainly did like it when she spoke to him like that.

Like she wanted to help him. 

Like she cared and helping him wasn’t just a chore she had to get through so she could go and do whatever she actually wanted to be doing.

Like he wasn’t a chore.

More than that. Like she enjoyed taking care of him and he was the something that she wanted to be doing. 

“You know I’ll take care of you for as long as you need me to Sweetheart.” She said as she began to lift the hem of his shirt. Pulling it up towards his chest as he hummed in reply, not trusting his voice.

What if I need you to take care of me forever?

Eddie wanted to ask as he lifted his arms as high as he could. The muscles strained as he forced them up further than he had lately in an effort to be helpful. 

“What if I just want you to take care of me?” He asked instead, as the fabric of his shirt brushed against his lips and he bent forward to help her pull it over his head. Grateful for the fact that she couldn’t see his face as he felt heat rise up his neck at the query.

“For as long as you want me to, then.” Karmen answered simply, shimmying the shirt over his unruly mess of hair and finally freeing him of his cotton prison. “Pants off next.” She added, as he straightened himself. Peeking through the curls that still covered his face and watching as she tossed his shirt towards the hamper.

Eddie reached for his waistband, hands making it there before hers could and pausing on the elastic as she placed her own on top of his and looked up at him to see what he was thinking.

He looked down at her sheepishly through the gap in his hair and she chuckled to herself. Raking her fingers through it and brushing it out of his face and back behind his shoulders.

“You’re wearing sweatpants.” She reminded him gently, making him frown as she leveled him with her questioning gaze. “You’re not hiding anything by keeping them on.” She explained, eyes flicking away from his and towards the obvious tent at his crotch that was just a hair shy of brushing against her belly button.

“I am, actually.” He responded, eyes following hers to the elephant in the room and watching as it twitched in response to being spoken of. The fabric covering the tip slowly discoloring as his wetness seeped into it on the upward kick. 

“Oh, nevermind.” He murmured, hooking his thumbs under the waistband and lifting it out and over his erection before loosening his grip on the pants altogether and letting them fall from his fingers to his ankles. 

“You really liked that huh?” Karmen asked slyly, her voice sultry as she spoke. A satisfied smirk crossed her lips as she watched his cock jerk at the question. A bead of pre-cum dripping down his head and falling to the floor to further soil his sweats.

Eddie didn’t answer, flustered by the teasing. He hadn’t been expecting anything like that from her when he’d walked into the bathroom and still wasn’t to be honest. But he couldn’t help the way his body reacted to the way she spoke. When she knew exactly what she was doing to him and lowered her voice to a raspy octave that tickled something inside his abdomen. 

When she whispered about loving to take care of him and how easy he was to love.

It drove him insane and she knew it.

Thankfully she stopped there, holding out her arms and placing firm hands on either side of his torso. She encouraged him to use them to steady himself as he stepped out of his pants.

He did so with little grace. Wobbling around as he balanced on each leg and used the souls of his feet to push the fabric down and off his ankles until finally he was free and completely naked. 

Almost ready for the bath.

“Bend down for me please.” Karmen instructed, leaning over to grab something off the sink and holding it up to show him.

Eddie nodded, tilting his head forward and closing his eyes as she raked her fingers through his hair again and pulled it into a bun similar to her own on the top of his head.

He stood back up when she let him know she was done, turning to look in the mirror and seeing the foggy outline of his ridiculous hairdo. 

Large messy bun atop his scalp that was still a little too far back for his bangs to be pulled into. His forehead still covered by them. 

He snorted at the stylish do.

“Here.” Kam nudged him to get his attention again, holding up the simple piece of elastic fabric that she used to keep her hair out of her eyes when she did her make up and handing it to him to put over his head as she turned her attention back to the bath.

Eddie pulled it down over his eyes and let it sit around his neck for now while Karmen moved to the side to give him room to head towards the bath. 

He took a shaky step, holding onto the sink on one side and Karmen’s arm on the other as he lifted his leg over the side of the tub. Hissing as his foot parted the bubbles and he placed it into the warm water.

“Careful.” Karmen said absently as he lifted the other leg experimentally. He knew to be careful. Of course he was being careful. He was doing everything in his power to avoid getting hurt and being forced to go back to that wretched place he’d finally escaped earlier in the month.

Eddie heeded her warning anyway. Taking an extra few seconds to prepare himself before lifting his other leg into the water and slowly sinking down. Holding tight onto Karmen’s arms as he lowered himself until he was sitting firm against the bottom of the tub. His iron grip loosening on her as he stretched out his legs and grimaced apologetically at how hard he had been holding on to her.

She waved him off, even though she knew she’d have at least one bruise. She chose this for him and wasn’t about to hold that against him when he was just trying to steady himself. 

“Lie back.” She said as she pressed a hand on his chest and encouraged him to lean against the wall. His body slipped slightly and made him jolt in alarm before he caught himself and let out a sharp exhale of relief. His back touching against cool tile as wet hands pulled the fabric from around his neck up and over his bangs. 

It held them out of his eyes brilliantly and took away frustration he hadn't realized he’d been feeling when he could suddenly see properly and nothing was touching his face or neck.

Karmen produced a stool to sit on. He wasn’t entirely sure where from but he had a hunch she’d stored it in the shower. It was the one she sat on when she babysat her friend’s child Jack who was still too little to take baths on his own.

He was surprised when she’d told him what it was for when he’d originally asked almost a year ago now. Jack was three at the time, nearly four currently and she still sat with him while he bathed.

Eddie couldn’t remember a time when someone had sat with him in the bath as a child. Maybe they had when he was really young and he just couldn’t remember it. But what he did remember was from when he was around the age Jack was now. So he didn’t have much hope for that being true.

He remembered playing until the boring water went cold and then calling out for someone to help him. He remembered the way he shivered as he waited for someone to come. Eventually finding his own way out, not without incident and being chastised for getting water on the floor. For slipping in it. For being hurt and more importantly, for moving. 

Because he was supposed to be stuck.

He hadn’t understood that as a child. But as an adult he knew it meant that he was left there on purpose. Because they knew where he was when he was in the bath. They knew he was playing by himself and couldn’t just walk in on them doing whatever it was they wanted to do while he was stuck in the tiny room by himself, wishing someone would come and sit with him.

“What if you’d drowned?” Wayne had asked him once when he was a lot older. Disbelief on his face as the topic of how the hell his parents had managed to keep their shady dealings from him for long had arisen and Eddie had explained one of the ways he’d remembered.

Eddie had just shrugged in response. 

He guessed they didn’t care…

He looked up at Karmen as she sat down on the stool, rummaging around in the drawers beside her and he couldn’t help but wonder if this is what it would have been like if he’d had a Mom that wanted to do bathtime with him as a child.

Minus the raging erection of course.

But even that had begun to relax the second it hit the water. Tension he didn’t know he had been holding onto seeping from deep in his bones as he followed Karmen’s lead and let himself rest against the wall.

“Here we go.” Karmen said cheerfully as she shut the drawer and held up a clean hand towel and an empty plastic cup. She placed the cup on the edge of the bath and caught Eddie by surprise as she dipped the towel into the water.

“What’s that for?” He asked as she lifted it out. Letting it slide along his body as she pulled it up and over his torso like a small blanket.

“To keep you warm.” She explained. “Also dicks float and it’s unsettling.” She added, making him laugh.

“Mm.” He agreed, looking down at the scratchy cloth that now covered his modesty and most of his scars as she scooped up some water in the cup and poured it over the towel to keep it from going cold. 

Eddie shuddered as the warmth spread over his chest. The water brushing against his skin and relaxing his tense muscles.

He huffed out an involuntary sigh. The sound made Karmen smile as she continued to scoop and pour water over his torso ever now and then and he let his eyes flutter closed. The bubbles fizzed around his body. Tingling against his goosebumpy skin and adding to the experience in a way he hadn’t anticipated. 

He’d always looked at bubble baths through the eyes of an excited child rather than the weary eyes of an adult with aching joints.

“This is nice.” He mumbled, lips barely moving, eyes still shut as he fought the sudden overwhelming urge to sleep. To let himself fall into unconsciousness in his watery bed and float into nice dreams in a way he hadn’t since before everything had gone down.

“I’m glad Baby.” Kam murmured back, her volume low on purpose to keep in line with the calmness of the room.

Eddie’s cock twitched in response to the term of endearment. 

Lord she did know exactly how to work him up but he couldn’t tell if she was doing it on purpose now or not. They both ignored his twitching erection. Eddie, willing it away as Karmen, smiled to herself at his eagerness starting to die down again.

While an orgasm was never unwelcome when it happened upon him, he was far too relaxed to be bothered with trying to procure one at that moment.

Maybe after his bath when they returned to the bedroom and Karmen finally let him under the covers again. But right now he was relishing in her attention of a different kind. Being nurtured by her in a way that healed something long broken inside of him. Something he hadn’t even realized had been damaged when he was small. 

It was nice.

To feel cared for.

Not just to feel cared for but to feel worthy of being cared for. Not just looked after as a means of keeping him alive but nourished and allowed to grow in a way he should have decades earlier. 

He hadn’t realized what he had been missing all this time. A part of that was hugely depressing. Something he struggled with a lot since he’d met her. Realizing what it truly felt like to be loved and the epiphany that he’d never felt it before. 

Not truly.

Wayne loved him. He knew he did. But not in the way Karmen did. Which, he supposed, would be yucky and illegal.

Regardless of the fact that there was a silent agreement in place that Eddie did not consider Alan to be his Father anymore. That Wayne was his Dad through and through. He wasn’t biologically Wayne’s child and he knew deep down that there would always be this disconnect between what the love of a Father should be and the love Wayne felt for him.

That being said, the love of a Father was something Alan was supposed to feel for him unconditionally and he didn't. There was a disconnect there too and Wayne had meant to use it to explain how much he loved Eddie. To point out that if Alan didn’t love him in the way he was supposed to, that there was this dissonance that wasn’t supposed to be there, as if Eddie wasn’t his son; then Eddie’s own logic was flawed and Wayne himself could love Eddie as much as he could his own son.

He had really only succeeded in pointing out to Eddie that Alan was one of the two people in the world that were supposed to love him wholly and unconditionally and he didn’t.

Wayne had accidently pointed out that Eddie was fundamentally unlovable. 

Even to his parents.

The realization had hurt him deeply. Wounded him worse than he cared to admit.

He had believed whole-heartedly until he met Karmen. Until he’d chanced upon someone that had taken the time to show him what being loved actually felt like.

Now he didn’t just struggle to feel like he was worth loving but also to comprehend that she thought he was as well. That she wanted to spend her time with him and it wasn’t simply out of obligation that she did so.

That she went out of her way to spend time with him and on him in ways no one ever had before.

She was for all intents and purposes the only person that ever truly loved him and he was so grateful for every second of her attention that he was allowed to have and savor. Every small drip of her affection that he could squeeze from her until she decided that it was enough. 

That he was too much and she was done.

Eddie opened his eyes abruptly. Shocking his brain into forgetting his train of thought by forcing himself to take in his surroundings without warning it first. A trick he’d learnt when he was younger and plagued by persistent nightmares.

It didn’t work so well for nightmares now. He couldn’t wake himself anymore like he used to be able to when he was a kid. But it still helped to dispel the negative thoughts in a moment when he shouldn't be or perhaps couldn’t afford to be thinking them.

“You okay?” Karmen asked from her place beside the bath. At some point she had stopped consistently scooping water onto his torso and sat back on her seat to watch him relax and wait for him to ask to get out. She had thought he was asleep and was about to take away the whole hand towel and rewarm it in the water when his eyes had shot open and he had stared at the end of the bath for a long moment without speaking.

He’d startled her but she didn’t show it. She wondered what he had been thinking about.

Eddie nodded without looking up at her. Her hands moving into his view as she peeled the wet cloth down from his chest and dunked it in the water by his side before replacing it. The heat of the towel against his chest calmed his racing heart as he exhaled a slow breath and let his eyes flutter closed again.

Yeah.

He was okay.

~~

More Notes: I don't mean to make Eddie seem childlike. He is struggling with trying to understand what it means to be loved and that brings up a lot of feelings about the things he should have had in his childhood and in a way, how he is realizing her can still experience them now for the first time as an adult and with work, be okay with that. Because he can't go back and change how he grew up or make his parents love him. So he will settle for experiencing these things at all. Even if it means they are filtered through an adult lens that he wouldn't have liked or wanted to be there when he was a kid. I hope that makes sense.

Read the rest of the series here :)

This series is so personal to me, so it means the world to me when someone let’s me know they enjoy a work from this series. If you guys liked this please pleaseee consider letting me know via comment, reblog, message, anon ask etc.  

Tags: @3ddi3-daydreamer @micheledawn1975 @munson-blurbs @wheels-of-despair @browneyes528 @stevemunsons

[hotluncheddie]

For @steddie-spooktober day 1 prompt : rain

rating: G | cw: none | tags: autistic eddie munson, sensory seeking

🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️

Eddie once told steve that he loved to wait for the first big rain of the fall.

Not just the first rainy day. But the first Big Rain. Where it rained for a couple of days, really soaked in deep, made everything muddy and sodden and damp to its core. If there was a flash of lightning and thunder that was even better.

Steve didn’t get it. He hated being wet and knew how much Eddie hated being cold. But he liked to hear about it just the same.

And liked it even more, the first time he got to see it.

Steve was on the sofa of the new Munson trailer, relaxing away the tension headache that had started building over his shift. Happy listening to Eddie pluck away at his acoustic. He’s been blinking sleepily and watching where Eddie sits cross legged on the floor, rocking gently side to side as he plays, his hair swinging and brushing his cheeks to the melody.

The sound of the rain was a steady beat for Eddie to play too, the beating of it on the roof reminded Steve of camping as a kid, before his dad moved up the company and didn’t have time for weekend trips or watching his son grow up.

And then the rain slows, putters out into a barely there thing, pulling Steve from him memory.

And it’s then, that Eddie comes alive.

He gasps softly, standing and leaning his guitar against the recliner, peaking behind the curtains.

And then he’s heading for the front door, leaving it open so Steve can just see him through the mesh of the screen, the chilly autumn air making his toes curl up in his socks.

Steve stands from the sofa slowly, watching as Eddie takes his socks off one by one, balling them up and dropping them on the dry of the little wooden porch.

Steve makes it through to the other side of the screen just as Eddie reaches the bottom most step, toes pale and feet bony in the misty bluish light of the grey clouded sky.

Steve had almost mustered the courage to say something, maybe reach out and brush his fingers against Eddie’s shoulder to break the moment, when Eddie jumps.

Jumps and lands square in the middle of a patch of mud, thick and brown and gooey with clogged up rainwater.

Steve freezes.

Eddie lifts his shoulders up to his ears, fists clenched and back ridged.

He squeals.

Steve’s never heard him make that noise before.

Eddie’s toes are wriggling in the mud, squishing and squelching it under his feet. He turns around slowly, arms swaying up and down, shoulders still clamped up by his ears.

His smile is blinding.

‘Good?’ Steve asks.

Eddie nods, eyes twinkling. ‘Big rain.’ He supplies.

Steve smiles back.

🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️

I’m treating this very low stakes and want to keep everything short. Idk if I’ll do every day but I might try - so sorry if it gets annoying lmk if u don’t want to be tagged :)

Tag list: @scoops-aboy86 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @pearynice @marvel-ous-m

@thecatkingsthrone @chickensinrainboots @cheesedoctor

[starryeyedjanai]

need you right here, right now

kinktober prompt: praise kink | 2.4k | explicit tags: good boy eddie, praise kink, public sex (they don't get caught), balcony sex, creampie, they are so deeply in love it's almost sickening

read on ao3

Eddie kind of can't believe they're doing this.

He just needed some air, needed a break from everything - the noise of the party, the conversations and congratulations, the emotions that came with winning his first fucking Grammy.

So he slips outside, hoping to go unnoticed so he can have a breather. He rests his head on the banister of the balcony, the cool metal refreshing against his heated skin, the cooler air out here immediately making him feel better than he had inside.

He hears the door slide open, hears the raging party continuing without him inside, and he prepares to put his smile back on, to push through the overstimulation even though it's almost painful at this point.

He straightens up and tries to smile, turning around and - oh thank fuck, it's Steve. He practically launches himself into Steve's arms, burying his face into his neck where it's safe and warm.

"You okay?" Steve asks, sounding concerned, wrapping his arms tight around Eddie, one hand coming up to grip the back of his neck.

The deep pressure feels good, being wrapped up and feeling taken care of - Steve always knows exactly what he needs.

He nods into Steve's neck and says, "It's just a lot. Everyone talking to me, the noise. 'S a lot."

Steve scratches his fingers through the hair at the base of Eddie's neck and Eddie shivers. It's a little chilly out, the air crisp and dry around them, but he feels warm in Steve's embrace.

Eddie lets himself relax in Steve's arms. He counts the points of contact between them - each of Steve's fingertips on his scalp, Steve's arms around him, his own arms wound around Steve, his lips pressed against Steve's collarbone, his nose nudging into the crook of his neck, Steve's chin resting against the side of his head.

He breathes deeply as he tries to calm himself down, to get the nervous energy coursing through his veins to evaporate.

Steve starts stroking his hand up and down Eddie's back - he's long since ditched his suit jacket, so with just the mesh shirt he was wearing underneath, it's basically like Steve is stroking his bare skin. Steve's other hand which was scratching at the base of his neck is scratching lower now, harder too, dragging the neckline of his shirt down, probably leaving red marks with how hard he's doing it.

And Eddie is having an extremely inappropriate response to it all. His dick is twitching in his pants at feeling so much of Steve's attention on him, a Pavlovian response almost.

He tries to pull back, but Steve stills him, sliding his hand to the side of Eddie's neck and guiding his face up so he can kiss him, the kiss hungry and desperate from the start.

Eddie sinks into it as easily as he always does, opening up for Steve, letting him lick his way inside his mouth, licking back. Steve gropes at his ass through his pants and his dick is getting hard and he wants to keep kissing him, wants to let Steve take him out of his head for a little while, but-

He pulls away.

"We can't," Eddie whispers. Even though he wants to say fuck it, he's very aware of the fact that he's ducking out of a party for him and that people are going to come looking eventually.

Steve presses forward and kisses him again, licking slow and deep into his mouth, almost making Eddie forget about all that.

Steve pulls away and Eddie can't help the way his eyes drop to his spit slick lips. He wants them on him again - he always wants them on him.

Steve says, "Don't worry about any of them," glancing back at the door. "I asked Chrissy to keep an eye out and stop anyone who tries to come out here."

Eddie feels his cock twitch in his pants again. He presses his hips forward into Steve's, rubbing up against him. He loves when Steve comes to him with details already figured out, when Eddie doesn't have to worry about the how's or the why's. Still-

He huffs out a laugh and asks, "What did you have to promise her to get her to agree to that?"

No fucking way Chrissy is just sitting posted at the door waiting for them to fuck without a bribe.

"I bribed her," Steve says grinning at him. "You have to delete twitter off your phone for a month."

Eddie scoffs. "You bribed her on my behalf?" he asks, mock offended.

"You need a social media break. Especially after all this. Just let her coordinate all that social media stuff since it's literally in her job description," Steve says, backing him up until his ass is against the railing. His voice dips lower as he says, "And let me take you apart out here where anyone could look up and accidentally get a peek at Corroded Coffin's lead singer's cock."

Eddie almost whines at the picture that paints. He can't remember what floor they're on, but they're up pretty high, and the balcony isn't facing the street. So theoretically no one should be able to see them, but the thrill is still there. Even with Chrissy guarding the door, if she gets distracted-

Eddie can feel his cock leaking in his underwear.

He whines and nods. He wants- he just wants.

Steve grins at him and reaches down, unbuttoning Eddie's pants. His fingertips press against Eddie's cock through his underwear for just a brief moment, but it's enough to have Eddie gasping in a breath, already overcome.

He pulls his hand away and steps back. Eddie instinctively steps forward, following him.

"You wanna put your mouth on me first?" Steve asks and Eddie tries not to slam to his knees on the hard concrete of the balcony. He's never been one to turn down an opportunity to get Steve's dick in his mouth and he's not starting now.

Steve unzips his pants and gets his cock out, not shoving them down or opening them any more than that - just his cock sticking out through where he's unzipped.

Eddie feels lightheaded.

He opens up wide and Steve guides himself into the wet warmth of his mouth. He sucks lightly for a few seconds before laving his tongue over the head to get it wet. He swirls his tongue along the underside of his dick, just under the head where it's most sensitive.

"You're so good for me, getting on your knees out here where anyone could see you. Getting my cock wet just because I asked you to," Steve says, stroking his hand over Eddie's hair, petting him. "Such a sweet puppy."

Eddie looks up and sees Steve drop his head back as he takes him deeper, swallowing around the head of his cock. He pulls back and licks at the head, digging his tongue into the slit, tasting him.

He sucks him back down again, relaxing his throat around him, tongue moving on the underside of his cock.

Steve's breath hitches as Eddie bobs his head, getting him sloppy with his spit.

He gets a fist in Eddie's hair and says, "I don't want to come anywhere but inside your pretty hole tonight."

He pulls off Steve's wet cock and lets himself be dragged up to his feet.

Steve pulls a packet of lube out of his pocket and Eddie snorts. "Why do you have that?" he asks.

Steve says, "Because I know you. I was expecting a bedroom, but this works just fine."

Eddie looks at him and aches. Steve always seems to anticipate what he needs. He feels seen when he's with Steve. People look at him all the time, but it doesn't ever really feel like they see him or understand him.

The silver in Steve's hair is glittering in the moonlight and Eddie's never felt so in love. He's about to get fucked over a balcony railing and the feelings swirling around inside him are sappy.

Steve looks at him knowingly and presses a chaste kiss to his lips.

He reaches out and slides Eddie's pants and underwear down to his thighs and turns him around.

"Bend over for me, love," Steve says softly in his ear. "Hands on the railing."

Eddie reaches forward, bending at the waist to put his hands on the railing of the balcony.

His brain is already slowing down, a little fuzzy from all of this, so he appreciates the direction.

His breath gets caught in his throat when Steve pets his hole with lube-slick fingers. He presses two inside, curling them towards his prostate and Eddie grips the railing tighter.

Steve fucks his fingers in and out leisurely, like they have all the time in the world, like they aren't a few feet away from a bustling party.

"Please," Eddie says, trying not to let any of the sounds he wants to make out.

Steve presses closer, moving his fingers faster. "Yeah? You want my cock in you?" he asks, like he doesn't already know the answer.

"Yes," Eddie moans.

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll give it to you. You're being so good for me. Asking for what you want, for what you need," Steve says and Eddie whines. That's so not fair.

Steve pulls his fingers free and presses the head of his dick against Eddie's hole. These little packets of lube are usually enough to get Eddie's hole a little wet, but there's not enough to coat Steve's dick fully so he knows going to feel the stretch and ache of Steve's cock splitting him open.

He bites his lip as Steve presses inside slowly, carefully easing his way inside, making his body open up for him. He doesn't stop until he's seated balls deep inside him, the teeth of his zipper digging into Eddie's skin.

He lets out a shuddering breath at the feeling of being so stretched open, Steve's cock piercing into him. Steve gives him a few moments to get used to the feeling before dragging his cock back out.

He can't stop the loud gasp that falls from his lips when Steve pulls all the way out and then slams back in.

Steve keeps going, fucking into him again and again as Eddie tucks his mouth against his upper arm to try and keep quiet. His hands grip the railing even tighter, the metal digging into his palm.

The sound of their hips coming together is loud to his ears and he knows if anyone were to venture out onto one of the neighboring balconies, they'd know right away what they were doing.

The thought makes his cock drip.

He hangs on for the ride and manages to not make another sound until Steve starts grinding his cock right against Eddie's prostate. That's so not fair.

The moans bubble up out of him and he can't even try to contain them. Steve knows how loud he gets when he's playing with his prostate - with his fingers, with a vibrator, with his cock fucking in with short, shallow thrusts.

"Shh, you don't want anyone to hear us, do you?" Steve asks, voice pitched low, like he isn't doing this on purpose.

Eddie shakes his head, biting his lip hard to stave off the sounds.

"Good boy," Steve says, sending a shiver down his spine. "You're my good boy."

Eddie looks down and nearly swallows his tongue. There's a long string of precome dangling from the slit of his cock, ready to drop onto the concrete of the balcony.

"You gonna come for me?" Steve asks. "You gonna be a good boy and come all over the railing for me?"

Eddie nods frantically.

Steve slides a hand around the base of Eddie's throat as he fucks in deep again, pulling him upright and back against him. They shuffle forward and Eddie's cock brushes against the cold metal of the railing.

Eddie can hear people talking inside muffled by the closed door. He can hear Chrissy talking loudly, laughing with someone, and it makes his stomach clench. Steve's words, the adrenaline of this all, and the way Steve is fucking into him with long, deep strokes again is all barreling him towards the finish line.

They're so fucking close to these people that are just inside the door. These people who all want so much from him.

But the only person who gets to have him like this is Steve.

Steve's the only one who gets to press inside him like this, like he belongs there. He's the only one Eddie would trust with his hand around his throat.

He's the love of his goddamn life and fuck. Eddie's gonna come. He's going to come with Steve's name on his lips, his hand around his throat, his cock in his ass.

"Come now," Steve growls out and Eddie does.

He tenses up and comes with a shudder as Steve slams home again, his come decorating the railing and the balcony floor. He shakes through it, whines and moans escaping his lips.

He feels Steve's cock kick inside him as he starts to come too, groaning softly in his ear.

Steve buries himself deep inside and grinds forward as he paints his insides with his come. Eddie lets out a shuddering breath.

Steve strokes his hand down Eddie's chest as they come down, as Eddie comes back to himself.

"You are so good, Ed. You are so good," Steve says in his ear.

Eddie shivers. He says, "You're good too, sweetheart. The best."

Steve pulls his cock out gently and Eddie groans at the loss. If they were at home, he'd ask him to stay inside a little while.

He turns around and laughs when Steve hands him a napkin.

"You're such a boy scout," Eddie says, cleaning himself up and pulling his pants up.

"You love it," Steve says, smacking a kiss to his cheek.

"I do," Eddie says, seriously. He pulls Steve into a slow kiss, licking into his mouth. Steve kisses him back, his hand coming up to stroke his jaw.

Eddie pulls away, feeling more like himself than when he stepped out only the balcony a while ago.

"We should probably clean that up," Steve says, looking at the railing where Eddie's come is shining wetly in the moonlight.

"Ough, we should," Eddie says with a wince.

[steventhusiast]

eddie and steve both being neurodivergent and not really knowing (because it’s the 80s and they weren’t stereotypically presenting) yet somehow managing to accommodate for themselves just by observing and trying to be there for each other.

steve notices that eddie is always searching for something to do with his hands, and seems calmer when he’s moving, so he goes out and buys him everything he can think of: a gumby toy, play-doh, a rubik’s cube. they turn out to be perfect stim toys for eddie, replacing his bad habit of picking at the skin of his hands and pinching himself. and steve gets the bonus of having things to fidget with other than his hair.

eddie notices that steve struggles with sensory issues when it comes to light, so he makes sure none of the big lights are on in the room they’re in, opting for going around to turn on the accent lighting of lamps instead. he gets steve some sunglasses too, but steve gets too nervous about wearing them when it’s not super bright out, so eddie gets himself a pair too so he can wear them in solidarity. he finds that it actually helps him a lot too.

they both enjoy verbal stimming, and sometimes when they’re watching TV together or cuddling on the couch they will just make noises at each other, mirroring them back and forth to their hearts’ content.