#rueleigh writes

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Pre s4

Steve: The next song on the radio is going to tell me who I end up with. I can sense it.

Robin: This sounds stupid.

Steve: You don't have to wait and listen, Robin.

Robin: Well, now I'm curious.

They had the radio on at Family Video, waiting for the next song to come on. A minute later, "Eddie, My Love" by the Chordettes started playing.

Steve: Oh, my god.

Robin: Tough luck. Well, Dustin will be pleased.

Steve: *scoffs* I am not going to end up with Eddie Munson.

He disappeared into the back, rolling his eyes. The door opened, and Eddie Munson walked in.

Robin: Oh my god, I can't believe he's not here to witness this. . .also, is Steve slightly psychic?. . .Hey, Munson, you want to go on a date with my best friend?

Eddie: Steve Harrington? *scoffs* There's not enough money in the world. Plus, I'm not into dudes.

Robin: *muttering* A simple no would have sufficed. . .Goddamnit, my fucking gaydar has failed me again. There has to be some sort of interference.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve: *holding up a frisbee* Eddie, why was this frisbee in the dishwasher?

Eddie: That's a plate.

Steve: No, it's a frisbee.

Eddie: If it's a frisbee, then why have I been eating off it for the last few months?

Steve: Because you're weird!

Eddie: Hey! You chose me!

Steve: Eddie, this is a frisbee.

Eddie: *shrieks* Plate!

Robin walked into the kitchen.

Robin: What are you doing with my plate?

Steve and Eddie: Your plate?

Robin: Yeah, I found it in the sports section at the store. I think they use it for camping.

Steve: *sigh* Okay, we might as well just call it a fucking plate. Living with you two is exhausting, but at least it's never boring.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Jonathan stumbled and fell right into Steve’s arms.

Steve: *smirking* Looks like you fell for me.

Nancy stared at the sight of her boyfriend being cradled in her ex-boyfriend's arms.

Nancy: I'll take both.

Robin: Will that be paper or plastic?

Nancy stared at her.

Robin: Oh, I thought we were doing a bit, but I can see now that you were being serious.

Nancy: Yes, both. Both are good.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve: Transitive property?

Dustin: The transitive property states that “if two quantities are equal to the third quantity, then we can say that all the quantities are equal to each other”.

Steve: Example.

Dustin: Okay, so you and Nancy slept together, then she slept with Jonathan. It's NOT transitive that you slept with Jonathan. However, if Nancy used moves to get Jonathan into bed that she learned from you, thus taking Jonathan's virginity, by transitive property, you helped Nancy take Jonathan's virginity.

Steve: That's your example?!

Jonathan: Luckily, it's only an example. I mean, Nancy didn't use moves she learned from Steve. She said she learned all her moves with me from romance novels.

Nancy: Weellll. . .not all of them.

Jonathan: Oh my god.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

The party, of course, immediately accepted Will and Robin when they came out. Dustin couldn't help but ask the question because he's a nosy little shit.

Dustin: *looking at Robin* If you had to pick a man, though, who would you go for?

Robin: Steve. No contest. Only in a parallel universe, though. And parallel me still has to like women. There's no universe where I'm straight. Not that I have anything against heterosexuality.

Steve: Eddie. *everyone stares at him* Oh, was that question not directed at both of us?

Eddie: It's okay, big boy. If I were gay, I'd go for you, too.

Argyle: *whispering* Oh, man, Steve and Eddie don't know about bisexuality.

Steve: You whispered that to me.

Argyle: Oh, sorry. *turns to Jonathan* Oh, man, Steve and Eddie don't know that bisexuality exists.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie seemed to have zero impulse control when he's not actively thinking about it. After Vecna Eddie moved in with Steve because he and Wayne didn't have a new place yet, plus, Wayne was living out of a motel. It was not a place for someone with wounds like his. Also, he was still waiting to be cleared of all charges. Steve was well enough to take care of Eddie. The metalhead was still in a lot of pain and on as many painkillers as he was allowed the first time that it happened. Steve was leaning over to fluff his pillows, and his lips were close to Eddie's face. It was all Steve’s fault, really. Eddie was thinking about how pretty his lips were when he decided to grab Steve by the back of the neck.

"What are - MMHH!"

Eddie brought his lips to his, and it was the sweetest kiss that Steve had ever experienced. It had left his lips feeling all tingly. Steve could easily pass it off on the fact that Eddie was high, and that was exactly what he did do. He never brought it up or told anyone about it. . .not even Robin. He really couldn't ignore it, though, when it happened a second time.

Eddie was feeling a lot better and could move around the house a lot more. Steve had finally been able to cook dinner for the both of them after living off other people's cooking and takeout while they both healed. They had finished eating when Eddie lumbered over to him and spun him around, cupping his face.

"That was the best home-cooked meal I've ever eaten - MUAH!" Eddie exclaimed, kissing him square on the mouth. "You go settle down. I'll handle the clean-up, big boy."

Steve had frozen a little. Surely, Eddie knew what he was doing? Since he hadn't brought it up, Steve decided not to bring it up either. . .except when it happened a third time. Eddie was completely healed, and he was able to be let out of the house since he was he officially cleared of all charges. He wanted to meet up with Corroded Coffin at Gareth's since they refused to come over to Steve's house despite the fact that Steve had told them they were welcome anytime. Even though he understood where they were coming from, it still stung that they refused to even try to get to know him. Anyways, Eddie was on his way out the door except for the fact that his keys were lying on the counter.

"Hey, did you forget something?" Steve asked.

"Oh, right," Eddie said, twirled around and kissed him while scooping up the keys. Then he was gone.

Okay, he really couldn't ignore it this time. Steve really needed to talk to someone about the kisses and about how much he liked them. He needed to know what that meant, and he knew exactly what kind of conversation this would turn out to be.

"Eddie keeps kissing me," Steve said as soon as Robin got in the car.

"I'm sorry, what?" Robin said, blinking.

"You know how Eddie's really affectionate," Steve replied. "Does it bother you when he kisses you?"

"Oh, you mean like kissing on the forehead and the cheek? No, I think it's sweet, actually," Robin said and rolled her eyes. "Are you feeling a little insecure in your masculinity because a man is getting a little affectionate with you?"

"What?! No, I don't mind getting affection from a man, Robin. You know I hug Argyle all the time," Steve said. "I'm just wondering why Eddie kisses me on the mouth and he doesn't do that with anyone else."

"Stop the car!" Robin screamed, and Steve pulled over the side, parking the car.

"Jesus, Robin!" Steve exclaimed.

"Eddie's been kissing you on the MOUTH?!" Robin asked.

"Yeah. He doesn't do that with you?" Steve asked.

"No, I think that's a treat only for you," Robin said.

"But why? We're both straight," Steve said. "I mean, I'm not trying to complain or anything, it's nice but why is he doing it?"

"You like it when he kisses you?" Robin asked.

"Yeah," Steve shrugged. "If I were into men, I'd be asking him on a date, but I'm not gay, Robin. . .well, maybe just for Eddie. Is it possible to be gay just for one person?"

"I mean, maybe, but I doubt that it's the case here," Robin said. "Usually, I would probably let you figure this out for yourself, but considering how long you kept it hidden that you like Nancy Drew, it might just take a while. . .do I have permission to rip off the band-aid?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess," Steve asked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, how the hell were you so sure about Vickie and completely clueless about yourself?" Robin asked.

"Are you still on it that I totally called it about Vickie being a lesbian before you did?" Steve asked.

"She's not a lesbian, dingus," Robun said.

"Okay, I was pretty sure that you two were dating. Robin, she's clearly into you, so I'm pretty sure you have a shot," Steve said.

"Yeah, we are dating but she's not a lesbian," she said.

"I'm so confused," Steve said.

"In more ways than one," Robin said.

"Robin, we're going to be late for work," Steve said.

"Vickie is a bisexual," Robin said. "She likes more than one gender."

"Oh. . .oh, like David Bowie!" Steve exclaimed. "Right?!"

"Right," Robin said.

"Oh my god!" Steve said. "My Tom Cruise obsession suddenly makes sense - I didn't want to be him - "

"Not to mention, all those times you've stared openly at Eddie along with his posters of Eddie Van Halen and Kirt Hammel. . . "

"Kirk Hammett, Robin," Steve scoffed. "Eddie would rip you a new one for getting that one wrong."

"But you knew it because Eddie did," Robin said.

"I like him," Steve said with wide eyes.

"Yeah, buddy. Are you going to need a minute?" Robin said.

"Nah, I'm fine. I actually feel really good about it," Steve grinned.

"Not even a little freak out?" She asked.

"Nope!"

"Lucky bitch," Robin muttered.

"I'm sorry, the next time I have a realization about myself, I'll make sure to give you the freak out that you deserve," Steve said.

"That's all I'm asking," Robin said.

They spent the morning shift talking about Eddie and what he'd say to him once he got home. Steve debated on giving him flowers or not, or a stuff animal. He decided on a stuffed animal because that was more permanent, as Robin had pointed out. They were just about to take their break for lunch when Eddie strolled in.

"Hey," Steve said brightly. "I was just thinking about you."

"Yeah?" Eddie asked and leaned against the counter. "That's good to know."

Eddie leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. This time, Steve responded to it, cupping Eddie's face as he deepened the kiss. He could feel Eddie smile against his lips. Steve heard Robin scrambling to lock the front door and close the newly installed blinds. Eddie wrapped his arms around him, nearly climbing over the counter to do it. Finally, Robin coughed loudly and they broke apart.

"Hi," Steve said breathlessly.

"Hi," Eddie said. "I got something for you."

He climbed over the counter and sat down in front of him. He pulled out a rock and handed it to Steve.

"It looks like a guitar pick," Steve said with a grin.

"I thought you could use it for good luck," Eddie said.

"That's very sweet, thank you," Steve said, blushing. "I'm going to keep it forever."

"So, your boyfriend did good?" Eddie asked.

"Boyfriend?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I know we're taking things slow, but I was hoping that you'd consider me being your boyfriend," Eddie said.

"Yeah, uh, it's just - it might be the concussions, but I don't remember asking you out or you asking me out," Steve said.

"Oh, you definitely asked me out," Eddie said.

"Oh, God, Robin. The doctor said if I started having memory problems - " Steve said with wide eyes. "I'd definitely remember asking you out."

"Honey! I'm sure it's fine!" Eddie exclaimed. "Robin was there, she'll tell you!"

"I was NOT!" Robin yelled, her eyes going wide. "Or was I? Oh, god, what if I hit my head and I don't remember?! I'd remember my best friend asking out a man!"

"Okay, don't panic, Robin, we'll call Hopper - " Steve started to say.

"You really don't remember?!" Eddie shrieked.

"No!" Robin and Steve yelled.

"Seriously, Robin, you were there, and you turned into a giant duck which, by the way, is rude because you know about my fear of ducks!" Eddie yelled.

"Oh, Eddie, goddamnit, was this a dream?" Steve asked.

"You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I think it might have been a dream," Eddie said.

"Okay, those looks you've been giving me make a lot more sense," Robin said. "Have you been living in fear of me randomly turning into a duck, like I'm some sort of. . .wereduck?"

"I don't know, your name's Robin, and we've all been through crazy shit. . .anything is possible," Eddie said.

"Aww, and you've hugged me even though you're scared of ducks," Robin cooed.

"Well, it's my fear, my responsibility. It's not your fault," Eddie said and then looked at her. "But you're not, though, right?"

"No, Eddie," she said softly and then affectionately, "You dingus."

"This whole time. . .," Eddie trailed off. "We haven't actually been dating. You never asked me out."

Eddie started to scramble off of the counter when Steve grabbed him and pulled him back.

"Let's fix that. . .Eddie Munson, do you want to be my boyfriend?" Steve asked.

"Fuck yeah, I do," Eddie grinned.

He grabbed the back of Steve’s head and crashed their lips together. Eddie sighed and leaned his forehead against Steve’s.

"No one better fucking wake me up," Eddie breathed and Steve laughed.

"Oh God! I think my nose is turning into a bill - quack, quack!"

"Robin!"

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Mike: *disbelief* You slept with our dungeon master?

It wasn't the fact that they were two dudes that bothered Mike, but the fact that it was Steve Harrington who slept with their dungeon master.

Steve: Keep up that tone, asshole, and I'll get your precious dungeon master pregnant just to piss you off.

Eddie: *leaning towards Mike* There's 50 bucks in it for you if you make your tone worse.

Mike: You can't get -

Eddie: There's another dimension under Hawkins. It's baffling the things that you can't believe in, but you can believe in that. You need to be a little open-minded, Wheeler.

Mike: 🤨

Dustin: I call dibs on godfather! Ha!

Mike: Bullshit! You can't call dibs!

Steve: *watching them argue* This could have gone worse.

Eddie: *grinning* Still could.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie: Hey, Robin, you know that fae folklore where some fairies have to count salt when it's spilled in front of them?

Robin: Yeesss, where are you going with this, buddy?

Eddie: Well, if Steve trips in front of a fairy, do you think it would have to count his moles?

Robin: I don't know, depends on if his moles taste like salt or not:

Steve: *walking back into the living room* Okay, got the popcorn! I might have - EDDIE!

Eddie had gotten up, grabbed Steve’s face, and licked the moles on his cheek.

Eddie: *gasps* Robin! It tastes like salt. . .AND butter!

Steve: *blushing* Yeah, that's because I ate a couple of pieces. Jesus.

Eddie: *thinking about counting Steve’s moles* I wish I was a fairy.

Steve: Dude! We do NOT like to be called that!

Eddie gaped at him the rest of the night, trying to figure out if he was a mythical creature or not when actually Steve has yet to tell Eddie he's bisexual.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve gets a phone call from Eddie one afternoon. . .

Eddie: So, what are you wearing, big boy?

Steve unfortunately thought Eddie was messing with him, so he decided to mess with him back. Steve rolled his eyes.

Steve: *scoffs* Your vest and nothing else, of course.

There was a long silence and then. . .THUD.

Steve: Eddie?

There was a sound of someone else's feet, and then he heard Wayne's voice in the distance.

Wayne: You damn near broke your new Garfield phone. What are you doing on the floor, and why is your nose bleeding?

Another pause, and Steve heard Eddie speak.

Eddie: Steve. . .vest. . .nothing.

Oops, he accidentally broke Eddie. Steve smirked.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Robin: You know, as a lesbian, I've never hit on a guy before.

Steve: *squints* Where is this going?

Robin: I'm just saying, what? Because I'm a lesbian I'm not allowed to hit on a guy.

Steve: *confused* No one's stopping you?

Robin: *checks her watch* Next guy that comes in.

Steve rolls his eyes. The bell above the store rang as Eddie walked through the door. Steve froze, and Robin grinned.

Steve: Oh, no.

Eddie walked towards Steve, but then Robin pushed her way in front of him.

Robin: *winks* Hey, pretty boy, you're talking to me today.

Eddie: Okay, what is this?

Robin: Your hair looks great. . . I kind of just want to sink my fingers into it. . . Pull on it in all the right ways. . .really make you scream. . .big boy.

Eddie: *panicking* Am I in the wrong universe?! Is today opposite day? What memo did I not get? Steve, Robin, did you actually manage to switch bodies, or is that still just a joke?

Robin: Are those new pants? They look good on you.

Eddie: *shrieks*

Robin: . . . They'd look better on Steve’s floor.

Steve: Robin!

Eddie: *sighs in relief* Thank God!

Steve: She's not wrong, though. You are a pretty boy, your hair looks great, and your pants definitely would look better on my floor.

Eddie: 😳

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Robin: I don't know why Steve thinks I don't respect his privacy.

Eddie: Aren't you reading his diary?

Robin: How do you know this is Steve’s diary?

Eddie: Well, it's bright pink and yellow. Also, on the cover, it says "Steve’s Diary, Robin Stay Out." That part is written in giant red letters. You shouldn't be reading that.

Robin: You're in here. Don't you want to find out what he really thinks of you?

Eddie walked over and looked over her shoulder.

Eddie: "Don't fall for Robin's bullshit, Eddie." Damn.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Robin and Eddie were waiting for Steve in his living room. Well, Robin was stretched out on the other couch watching Eddie dig around in the other couch for the remote.

"Buckley, I know you and Stevie are strictly platonic, but how close are you that you just leave your underwear tucked into his couch?" Eddie asked, standing up and holding said underwear up.

"Does that look like something that I wear? It's frilly, pink, and satin-y," Robin said. "Plus, my ass would not be able to fit in those. . .too loose. But, I think I do know who they belong to."

"Who?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, hey!" Steve exclaimed cheerfully. "There's my underwear! I was folding laundry earlier, and I couldn't find them anywhere. I also have a matching bra."

"You wear women's underwear?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, it feels great," Steve said. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"

Eddie suddenly had an image in his head of Steve wearing nothing but the pink underwear and bra. . .spread out in Eddie's bed. He collapsed onto the couch, his knees buckling. He pulled the pillow over his lap.

"It's not exactly the word I'd use," Eddie said.

"Eddie?"

"I think that's my que to leave," Robin said and walked out the door.

"Eddie?! Eddie! . . . Your face is totally blank. It's freaking me out. Shit, have you been cursed? Goddamnit! Okay, I have to find that Puppets of Masters tape! Hold on, Eddie!"

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve: *hands on hips* The christmas tree has been up for five minutes!

Eddie was currently in bat form, perched on top of the tree with his wings spread like he was the angel.

Robin: I'd hate to be his boyfriend. Thank God, I'm a lesbian.

Steve: You know damn well that I'm Eddie's boyfriend.

Robin: Yes, but I keep setting you up because I know much you love saying it.

Steve: *giggles* Yeah, that's true.

Eddie: *squeaking* Stop being cute, I am trying to be an angle here!

Robin: I think you meant angel, buddy!

Steve: I don't know, he is very. . .acute.

Eddie: *squeaks with acute rage*

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie walked into Steve’s house to find the kids crowded around the entrance to the living room. He looked in to find Robin and Steve hanging upside down on the couch, looking depressed.

Eddie: What's going on?

Dustin: They got rejected by a cult today.

Robin: And the thing is, we didn't know it was a cult.

Steve: And when we did figure it out, we didn't want to join, but suddenly, they wanted us!

Robin: And now they don't!

Steve: What the hell does "too perfect" even mean?!

Max: Why are you upset they rejected you?! They kidnapped you!

Robin: And it's nice to feel wanted sometimes, Maxine!

Eddie: Okay, where the hell is this place?

An hour later, Eddie stormed back into the house, brushed past the kids, and threw himself down next to Robin.

Robin: You get rejected, too?

Eddie: They just looked me up and down and shook their heads! Then, when I demanded answers, they threw me out! What the hell kind of cult is this?

Steve: It's a rude cult.

A few minutes later, Hopper came to pick up Will and El.

Hopper: *looking into the living room* What the hell happened?

Will: Go easy on them, dad. They got rejected by an entire cult today.

Hopper: What?!

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie: *to Robin and Steve* Who are these people you're gossiping about again?!

Robin: Oh, we don't actually gossip about real people.

Steve: Yeah, we learned that lesson the hard way.

Robin: So, now we make up people and their backgrounds. We gossip about them.

Eddie: I have been invested for over an hour over people who are NOT real?!

Steve and Robin: Yeah.

Eddie: *throwing up his hands* Either write a fucking book or join Hellfire!

Steve and Robin: *looks at each other before looking back at Eddie* Nah.

Eddie: *screams*

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve: I get butterflies in my stomach when I look at you.

Eddie: You get so annoyed by the sight of me that you have to eat butterflies?!

Steve: You make it really hard to flirt with you.

Eddie: You were flirting with me?!

Steve: Have been for about an hour. You're were flirting right back, Eddie!

Eddie: I was?!

Steve: Eddie, we're on a date!

Eddie: *shrieks* We are?! . . . Steve! Do I - do I like men?!

Steve: Wow, okay, yeah, Robin said that I was several steps ahead of you in this relationship, but I didn't realize that I was this far ahead.