#if they ask again
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#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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had a fun experience on the subway the other day
#mouth is not a sweet bro and hella Jeff reference I never read anything by Hussie#it��s actually based on the jermavenus#mine#comics#diary#to this menacing looking bald guy… i apologize. and if i see you again i might ask you out.#my comics
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arcane ships be like
i love a show that teaches equality (😭😭😭)
#guys i don't actually ship jayvik but it was necessary for the reference#sorry for the quality btw i threw this together#timebomb#jayvik#caitvi#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#EDIT: multiple people have pointed out that the labels i've used aren't the characters' real sexualities. and they're right#there's actually NO labels in runeterra so i shoulda said m/f m/m and f/f relationships#but you guys already gave this 13k notes so whatever bro#just know!!! they are more than whatever nathaniacolver post labels them as! :)#EDIT AGAIN AFTER THE FINALE: I DO INDEED NOW SHIP JAYVIK. DAFUQ#DOOM IS DOOM#edit number 3 or something idk man people keep asking stuff:#i made this after act 1 and before acts 2 & 3 so this is an ACT 1 MEME#and yes timebomb are whatever the frick you want them to be. *sighs*. i should've said f/m relationship so bad
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live is where the learn is
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#fanart#based on the wall art i gave shadow in those other drawings#live and learn#never ask me to draw an x again#artists on tumblr#illustration
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?
#This was prompted by a specific thing but it is also about dozens and dozens of things#Everyone going “XYZ is actually bad” like congratulations I wasn't saying stuff can't be bad.#I was saying that you should ask yourself these questions first bc sometimes it's just not to your sensibility.#Former Prime Queue-sector of the Trust#ETA: now that it's been months and this is going around again while certain conversations happen in other fandoms I'm in#It's good to clarify what specifically set off this post even tho it applies to many things. But this was about someone#saying Midst is thematically and narratively incoherent bc it wasn't “everyone is miserable forever and nobody gets better” like they wante
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It's like we all collectively forgot as a society that friendship and just connection in general takes effort. Even if you meet someone you immediately click with, it takes hanging out about 20 times (!) to become friends. And guess what, some of those 20 meetings might be awkward or unimpressive.
We all want to reap the benefits (having a friend circle, having a partner, getting married) without doing the work (going to events, interacting with people, learning to handle conflict maturely, dating). Myself included. If I could, I'd never leave the house or go on another mediocre date again... except, that's part of the process.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, the cure to the loneliness epidemic is touching some grass and building tolerance for tedious in-person interactions.
#yeah I did put on makeup just to go out with someone who doesn't know how to ask interesting questions#I'll do it again just to get to that special person#tagging this lesbian cause that's who my blog is for#but this is true regardless of sexuality#lesbian#dyke#sapphic#wlw#dykeposting#femme4butch#femme#femme lesbian#butch4femme#butch#butch lesbian
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I think we should have a turn of phrase for "I'm not in the right, but I AM annoyed with this situation, so I just need to go bitch to a friend about this before I suck it up and go do the right thing" because more and more I'm finding this is a critical element of functional adulthood.
#the person who's re-emailed me asking for help with something: yes I should get back to you. yes I will get back to you#but in the meantime I will look at the email like 'I am busy right now! I have deadlines! do not bother me about this unrelated thing!'#and like in 15 minutes when I'm ready to be an adult again I'll get back to them
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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communication is key 💪
#this posted weird the first time so im doing it again LMAO#i think its cos i had the text editor open for too long? ._.#laishuro#dungeon meshi#nakamoto toshiro#laios touden#delicious in dungeon#art#anyway this is based on that one ask in my laishuro tag
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I kept mishearing a lyric from Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” and this is what it said to me
Top surgery fund!!!!!!!!
#the line is LA chicks with the Oakland booty. again i ask how did i get here#transfag#transsexual#trans art#queer ns/fw#queer nsft#trans nsft#t4t nsft#trans butch#t4t ns/fw#ftm nsft#t4t pup#t4t puppy#t4t yearning#transmasc nsft#transmasc#trans boy#trans man#fagdyke#bd/sm community#trans pup#trans puppy#trans punk#idk tags for this tbh#leathers
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if you were at your worst, if you’re a villain or a screwup or whatever, there is a goth man dressed as a giant bat who keeps coming after you, bothering you. he sabotages your journey of self destruction over and over. ur ready to give up but he won’t let you. you think, today he won’t come. today he will give up on me too. he never does.
#batman#bruce wayne#brucellosis wayne#the man that you are#he is so ready to hang up that cape#people who say that batman cannot exist without being batman has forgotten smth#batman exists for as long as crime exists#but this man is a straight up father and he wants to sleep and he wants to hang out with his friends and he wants to play with his dog#his world is no longer that small dark place the batman was born from#justice exists as long as there is right and wrong#batman will never retire#but he prays every night that when he goes out this time harvey dent will be a lawyer again and harley will be married and happy#that joker won’t show up and mr freeze will ask him for help in saving his wife and poison ivy will partner with the WE botany department#let me help you please let me help you#and if you won’t accept my help today don’t worry i’ll be back tomorrow#dc#brucie wayne#this is a message you YOU that no matter how bad you think you are batman will never give up on you
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Optimus should just bite Megatron really really hard that would fix a lot of things 
No.. I fear that would create a whole new problem
#cue Megatron spending the next week trying to get OP to do it again#excellent thing to receive as a first ask btw#megop#transformers#maccadam#megatron#megatron x optimus prime#optimus prime#suggestive
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Wish you were here
#I am back in the fucking building again#time to check all the asks I got#call of duty#ghost babygirl#kyle gaz garrick#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#gary roach sanderson#cod mw2#cod soap#cod ghost#cod roach#cod gaz#call of duty modern warfare#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghostsoaproach#johnny soap mactavish
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one of those polls from the premiere
#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga#odysseus#penelope of ithaca#my art#i kinda dipped for weeks MY BAD ill try to Not do that again#post the scribbles laying around and answer asks#crossing fingers
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back at it again with the extremely self-indulgent diafams! I am being emotionally supported by overly-cutesy interactions between anime characters right now, don't judge me.
(also continuing with my headcanons that 1) mustache Bauru, and 2) he'll be hugely tsundere about it but you can, ultimately, convince him to do just about anything via careful application of Sebek.)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#slipping this in real quick between twst fandom explosions#between the anime announcement and both jp and eng getting main story drops we're gonna be losing our collective gourds for. a while.#(hey twst why is 7-11 a two-parter) (WHY IS IT IN TWO PARTS TWST)#(is this just a production time thing or...)#also apologies to the anon who asked for general lilia not knowing how to take care of kids#i meant to do more in that vein but...then i drew hugs instead#i will try again later#although i warn you that this may just end in more hugs
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