#- Superman

[sisaloofafump]

Spider kiss 😘

The concept:

[dsudis]

So wait are livestock guardian dogs to their flocks like… Clark Kent among the residents of Smallville? He’s been here since he was a baby, we all know him, and he’s… generally one-of-us shaped, uh, approximately. And then when something goes wrong he suddenly leaps into action and does some terrifying impossible shit none of us could do. And then comes back home and settles in like nothing happened and he’s one of us again.

[batfamgalore]

*Clark is visiting the manor to help Bruce on a case and they walk past Dick’s room. (He’s supposed to be grounded, but isn’t in there).*

Clark: Hey, Bruce, listen. I don’t want to creep you out or anything, but I was just peering into Dick’s bedroom…

Bruce: Okay, not off to a great start, Clark.

[iwritelmao]

Bruce: *gets kidnapped*

Clark: *suddenly becomes the scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Tim: *gets kidnapped*

Kon: *suddenly becomes the second scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Damian: *gets kidnapped*

Jon: *to the kidnappers* hey guys! no, don’t worry, I’m just here to give yall a fair warning—hey dude shooting people isn’t nice—that you have maybe two minutes before Dami gets impatient and violent so you might just wanna let him go! yeah I can take him home!

[frownyalfred]

people think the other JL members don’t invite Bruce and Clark out because they’re lame or killjoys. actually they don’t invite them because

there are three other fully grown men crammed into that booth and somehow they STILL only have eyes for each other. in their own world. arguing about something, leaning in and forgetting about literally everything else.

[incorrectbatfam]

[at a call center]

Stephanie, to her supervisor: I don't care if the President herself calls. If it's past five P.M. I will not be here.

*phone rings*

Stephanie: Thank you for calling Wayne Insurance, Gotham Division. My name is Stephanie. Before I can assist you, I'll need your policy number.

Stephanie: Ah, Commissioner Gordon. What can I help you with today?

Stephanie: Auto insurance claim. Wonder Woman's shield took a sideview mirror clean off your vehicle. Well, sir, the Wayne Foundation will actually cover weapon-related repairs if—

Stephanie: ...And then Superman lifted the entire car and threw it at a spaceship. Yes, sir, I can help you with that claim.

Stephanie: Commissioner, I see here you live on 57th. That wouldn't happen to be 57th and 11th, would it?

Stephanie: 'Kay, I'm gonna get you set up with a renter's claim as well. It appears in an attempt to wipe out a horde of aliens, the Flash and Green Lantern shattered every window on the street.

Stephanie: Yes, sir, it does appear they were successful and now they're headed toward West End.

Stephanie: Yes, sir, West End and 65th. Would you like me to go ahead and start a claim for your safehouse on that street?

Stephanie: Yes, sir, I'll get those processed right away. Thank you so much for calling.

*call ends*

Stephanie: Boss, I'm gonna go move my car. My new Batman insurance hasn't kicked in yet.

[nightingale-prompts]

Danny:*sleeps hanging upside by his wispy tail*

Batman:*watching* So they are like bats.

Superman: No, that's an opossum.

(They are both wrong)

[frownyalfred]

Alfred, a military man, looking at Hal Jordan, also a military man: hmmm. No.

Alfred, looking at the superpowered alien with hearts in his eyes: oh, much better. this one will do.

Hal is the lucky one here lbh he gets to bang Spooky, peace out with their relationship mostly settled, and then watch the show.

As someone who has dated military men…I’m with Alfred on this one.

[arkangelo-7]

Will forever be obsessed with that Superbat trope of Clark hearing Bruce’s heartbeat skyrocket and then fly to the rescue, only to find out that Bruce is just having sex. The awkward flight-of-shame will always be too fucking hilarious. I giggle every time.

[thesupercoolchronicles]

Superman by Ito

[mysticalblue09]

The fact that Krypto can fly makes this 100 times funnier

SUPERMAN (2025) dir. James Gunn

[incorrectbatfam]

Can I chime in? An interesting Midwest German-American (tho not *actually* German) tradition is to hide a pickle in the tree and whoever finds it gets a prize

(I'm loving these, keep 'em coming)

[Justice League holiday party]

Clark: We're trying something new this year. Hidden inside our nondenominational winter celebration greenery is a pickle on an ornament hook. Whoever finds it gets the pie my mom made.

Hal: Sounds like fun.

Bruce: I've already begun deducing the location.

Ollie: World's Greatest Detective my ass. I already found—

Ollie: Who took a bite out of the pickle?

Barry: ...I got hungry.

[hederasgarden]

Hiya! David!clark with prompt 2 from your list pretty please w the juiciest cherry on top! SMOOCHES TO YOUUU

Smooches to you as well, anon!! This was such a cute drabble request!

Pairing: David!Clark Kent x F!Reader Word Count: 532 Rating: Gen. This is pure fluff with the prompt, Wait a minute. Are you jealous? A/N: Thank you to @ryebecca for looking this over! Please comment or reblog if you enjoyed this and want to see more. Or scream at me in my inbox. That always makes my day.

Masterlist ♡ David Corenswet Characters Masterlist

“And, anyway,” Clark continues, fumbling with the stack of papers in his hands. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea to meet him alone. Someone should come with you. Just for safety, you know? You can never be too careful.”

You raise an eyebrow. “It’s a date, Clark. Not some shady source for a story. You’re acting like I’m meeting a criminal kingpin.”

He frowns, pushing his glasses back up his nose in a familiar gesture you’ve seen him do a hundred times. “That’s not what I meant at all. I’m just saying, you don’t know this guy. He could be anyone. He could be an axe murderer, for all we know.”

It’s only the worried crease between his brow and the genuine concern you see in his eyes that keep you from laughing at how seriously he’s taking this.

“He’s friends with Jimmy,” you remind him, giving his very firm, muscly shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

“How well does Jimmy actually know this guy?” Clark questions. “Are they actual friends, or more like ‘a friend of a friend’ kind of situation?”

“I think they play pickleball together?” you say, though you can’t fully remember. Jimmy tended to ramble a lot and well, truth be told, sometimes you tuned him out. “Or maybe it was D&D? I’m not sure which one it is, but he’s definitely not some random weirdo. Just a nerd.”

“I should talk to Jimmy,” Clark says with a nod like he hasn’t even heard you. 

Before he can walk past, you stop him with a firm hand on his chest, your fingertips grazing the crisp, starchy white shirt he’s wearing. 

“Wait a minute. What’s going on?” You question. 

Clark may have had the reputation of the office big brother, always looking out for everyone, but this was something else. It felt different. It felt like he liked you.

No.

That couldn’t be right. He was so wildly out of your league and that thought sounded insane, even to your own ears. But as you study his face, you catch the way his eyes flick away from yours for just a beat too long, the briefest hesitation, and how his hand tightens around the stack of papers, his knuckles whitening.

“Are you jealous?” The words slip out before you can stop them. You wince, wishing you could swallow them back up when you see the tips of Clark’s ears turn red. He opens his mouth, then closes it, before tugging on his collar. 

“Oh,” you whisper. 

“Is that a good oh?” Clark asks you, looking almost nervous. 

“Oh,” you say again like an idiot as your brain tries to catch up with the sharp left turn this conversation has taken. Clark Kent liked you. Like actually liked you. 

"I do," Clark murmurs, and it takes a second to realize you must have said that last part out loud.

“Well, I should probably cancel that date then,” you tell him.

“And I should probably ask you out,” he replies, glancing around the bullpen before stepping closer. 

“Yeah,” you agree, getting a little lost in how blue his eyes are. 

“Will you -”

“Yes,” you interrupt.

He laughs and you grin.

Send me a request

[radioactive-earthshine]

Note: this is in reference to the comics and the comics alone, no other form of media.

[thattripleabattery]