#you have had 23 years to get to know me
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ok that poast got me thinking so rq rant abt my sibling . in the tags bc i cant figure out how go add a readmore on the version of tumblr mobile i use
#wishy speaks#so like#my sibling is Pretty successful for someone their age#they rent a nice place in a town they enjoy living in and have a long term partner and a secure career#and their partner has an even more secure career#and they got all A's their entire time in school#not that it was necessarily easy for them but they still Did That#im really grateful my parents never held me to the same standard bc even tho they didnt know i was autistic they knew i was Different#and had a lot of trouble sometimes#but my sibling thinks that i can just. do a lot of the same stuff they do if i try?#they said to mom that they have issues like mine too and still do all these cool things wrt careers and school#and like. do you understand how different we are.#we are such wildly different people. even disregarding my disability. do you not see the miles between us#do you understand i have limitations you dont? that im not just a smaller lazier cringier version of you?#you are 5 years older than me#you have had 23 years to get to know me#and this is the conclusion you come to?#im so like. disappointed in them#its hard to talk to them without them trying to give me their company skillshare login or telling me to monetize one of my hobbies#especially website design. ugh. designing and coding a personal website gives me migraines. doing it for a client would make me explode#i cant fucking brush my teeth or shower without someone Telling Me To#what makes you think i can go back to college? get a job? take online classes? what the fuck makes you think that???#when our own mother understands me better than you do i think thats a big sign you fucked up#its just so frustrating#i miss that period where they had just finished school and lived at home until they moved away for a job opportunity and we played games all#day together#they didn't pressure me into anything then bc i was just in high school still#but now that im out of school and a college dropout its like they think im just being lazy and underestimating myself#and yea its not like ive Tried getting a job#but when i can barely take care of myself its not like thats a high priority
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set out to create a serious, canonesque drawing with which to say "feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me mystery speculate" but only got going when i made it bowling and the rarepair agenda
#not that i imagine anything w/mordecai's Rare so much as: diluted range of possibilities lol. probably someones on that mordecai/virgil life#when it turns out it takes several tries to start to get more solid footing at drawing characters for the first time: What The?????#i actually don't think i ever tried drawing lackadaisy before; against all odds....if i had i would've had a head start lol#lackadaisy#corned beef#any collectively used pairing name here? mordenico? nicodecai? in absence of otherwise Knowing:#nicodeme savoy#mordecai heller#me in '07 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! me in '23 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! & guess how i've always felt years in between#goddd perusing the gallery bonus art afresh recently just like WOWWW i'm SOOO#the collages of full-body drawings for book purchases i think like my GOD i love to see it. plus that the Extra Stuff gallery means there's#such a variety like. stuff that's clearly noncanon; stuff that could be / kinda is; jokes; portraits; story / characters insight....waaughh#also shoutout to everyone behind all the mordecais in KS Backer Art 1 & 2 like ''sexy mordecai please'' apparently lmao. hell yeah#anyways my Marigold Bowling Team headcanons are simple and straightforward: nicodeme w/the muscle can get a strike from the force of having#hit one pin that smashes into all the others; but don't underestimate his versatility. mordecai with the precision / method & absolutely#who you want trying to hit the only pin left on the lane. serafine's got like serpentine curveballs changing velocity halfway down the lane#and they've All got pointing a gun at the people setting pins / returning balls b/c that wasn't automated back in the twenties#back when everyone had customized printed tees....oh fun fact. a real live kitty cat crinkled that first pic's paper by jumping on it#or really; ricocheting off of it. classic#also the ''i want people to seriously consider nicodeme/mordecai. but also sillily'' purposes have me using Close Contact as a shorthand#it's earnest and can sure be [longhand] too but you go ''You Could Never HC Datingly Affection ft. An Always Touch Averse Character'' & i?#well i scoff derisively and slowly swivel my chair around to face you; arms crossed; smhing....hah. how greatly you underestimate my power.#you're throwing [hcs for a romance ft. an autistic character] & [that ft. an asexual character] & i'm grabbing them midair & Sips Them#ha ha why these replenish my health And experience bars....#Never Be Afraid To Forget To Draw Mordecai's Glasses Or That You Also Put Your Thumb In A Bowling Ball....he's warming up. or w/e.#nicodeme w/the boxing experience shoulders massage trope. giving that pep talk#or you can go ''get a strike or we kill you'' b/c you never have to find out if he's joking or not#mordecai unfazed b/c that's the stakes in this business (bowling) & he's autistic so always having to ignore Everyone being weird/confusing#haven't come up with a lackadaisy's team bowling pun name lol.#still feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me brainstorm mitzi n mordecai's murder mystery ;w; enrichment
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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One thing I will never understand is why some of y'all get so mad about Buck and Eddie being roughly the same age. I don't understand how people can learn that Eddie only enlisted when Shannon got pregnant and not just assume he was 18/19 when that happened. In what world a 23 yo would panic enlisted because his girlfriend got pregnant? I don't get it.
#eddie acting older doesn't necessarily make him older#and also#if eddie had 5 years of real world experience by the time Shannon got pregnant#enlisting would not be the reaction#because he would've had 5 years to be an adult#having an accidental baby at 23 is young but like thats the not of the world#not like getting your girlfriend pregnant right after senior promo when you dont want to go to college is#that was literally my only argument for never assuming he was older#and finding out hes around the same age as Buck was great#made perfect sense#why is that such a problem?#this is a rhetorical question#i dont really wanna know#no need to tell me#im just venting because i just saw someone say EDDIE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FORTY RIGHT NOW#FORTY#FUCKING FORTY#like what the fuck are they on#and they were like straight saying the show retconed and they said eddie was born in 84#and im like?????????? you tripping?????????#i will take the 5 year gap BUT SAYING MY MAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FORTY????????????????#crazy#911#thoughts thoughts thoughts
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the fact that people around my age are getting engaged is INSANE
#i know i shouldn’t be one to judge bc i’m a single pringle#but like#y’all are 21 22 23 years old and y’all already thinking about MARRIAGE#meanwhile i’m thinking about how tomorrow’s gonna go#i just feel like this generation (especially people in relationships) are rushing everything#I SWEAR THAT Y’ALL HAVE TIME#Y’ALL ARE IN COLLEGE#JUST ENJOY WHERE YOU ARE NOW#idk it just doesn’t sit right with me#i’m not trying to come off as unsupportive or anything but it’s just so early in adulthood that i’m like#what the fuck are you guys doing LMAO#ok anyway#that’s all i had to say#only because i saw an IG post today from a girl that goes to my university and she got engaged to her boyfriend in disney world#girlie you’re 21😭#AND SHE LITERALLY BOUGHT A FREAKIN HOUSE WITH HIM#MY MOM WOULD KILL ME IF I DID THAT#idk if anyone else is noticing this but again#it might just be me#just had to get this off my chest#abby’s announcements#<-i guess
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Seeing what presents my baby sister gets and realising I really drew the short straw by being the firstborn
#Demon Spawn#+Extras#tell me why this three year old got a pet budgie for her birthday? she cant even spell yet#none of my siblings have ever had personal pets i wasnt allowed a hamster when i was 12 and neither was anyone else but the 3 year old??#she got her own heat pool for her birthday as well and a barbie dream house taller than her for Christmas#and what did i get childhood trauma perfectionism a fear of failure and anxiety#my mum always goes over the top with the youngest girl it happened with my middle sister in that 5 year gap before my mum got pregnant again#i didnt even make it 2 before my mum was pregnant so i never really got to reap the rewards of being the youngest#the lil ones get spoiled to hell and they get a mum with a fully developed frontal lobe and chiller parents#being the oldest sucks there are no benefits to it only responsibilities#btw im not mad at my sister or whatever its nice for her that she gets to have these things#but what do you mean i got the shtty childhood parents and i still have to argue to be allowed to bare minimal at 23 when the 3 year old#gets special treatment that the rest of us wouldnt even bother asking for cus we dont have all the things that came before that point#my issue is that the preferential treatment she gets is useless to her. she didnt ask for a barbie dreamhouse and she cant even play with it#because shes too short whe doesnt need her own pool because she cant even swim yet she doesnt need her own tablet she cant read yet#she shouldnt have her own pet when she cant understand what it means to own a living creature#especially when we dont currently have any other pets in the house#my issue is that the spoiling doesnt even make sense for her age she cant enjoy it cus it doesnt make sense yet doesnt mean anything to her#my mum wants to spoil her cus shes her littlest girl but shes had 7 kids before this she knows whats age appropriate and this isnt
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so it turns out it was actually never that serious
#the exam literally went fine what the fuck just happened i feel like i just hallucinated that#like im not one of those people that go 'omg i did soooo badly :(' just to come out with top grades if i say it's going to shit#then it's becuase i genuinely wholeheartedly believe it#and my headspace before this exam was the worst it's been in MONTHS like i havent felt that bad for an exam since first year#and i sat down opened the paper and. remembered everything. like i literally just Knew the answers#im not saying ive passed bc am i fuck about to jinx it and i was still riding mainly blind bc i have NO idea where that knowledge came from#but at the very least there was a 35 marker that i KNOW i aced like i could picture the exact lecture slides it wanted me to discuss#and i had all of them memorised so at the very least ive got like. 30 marks. which is enough for me to pass the module#bc this exam is only weighted 75% and with my marks from the other 25% i only needed like 20 marks to pass this exam#which... makes it even more embarrassing that i failed it the first time but whatever!!!!#oh my god im so glad that's done im so happy IM FREE#just been in the kitchen dancing around to my little tunes and texting my friends <3#im meeting up with one of them when she gets off work at 5 and we're going for drinks#so ive got until then to nap and chill and then ill go to the shop and get us some food and wine#and she's gonna come here for a bit & then we'll go. like actually look at me. im having people over at MY HOUSE im going out to buy us WIN#im literally a functioning adult living independently who IS she a misty memory#alas i do only have £23 in my account so this is gonna be such a slay seeing how i make that stretch for a night out#i acc could budget for england when it comes to alcohol i think like the way i manage to have a good funky time with MINIMAL funds#is downright impressive. it's a skill idc what you say#hella goes to uni
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🤪.
#when you haven’t had a chronic illness flare up in 3 years so you think you’re free bc in a lot of people they stop having flare ups as the#get older. but apparently the big age of 23 isn’t old enough. or maybe you’re just gonna have to deal w this the rest of your live long day#like I know in some ways I’m lucky to have an episodic illness that only affects me Sometimes (if you don’t count the migraines)#but man the mental toll. how whenever I feel a symptom I just cannot relax and start stressing about how I’m gonna get to the hospital if#this is a flare up. lmao.#anyway. fuck my life I guess.#also I missed the Spain France match because I was in the hospital but am lucid enough to watch the England game unfortunately. so great#timing also.#d
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woman experiences transcendental joy after clocking out of work for the day
#i want you all to know that this morning i drove to work with a bloody nose. like i got ready and then my nose started bleeding and i had to#drive one handed halfway there while i waited for it to stop#and also i stayed in bed ten minutes late and didn’t get to do my full getting ready routine so i look horrible and feel worse#and then they asked if i could stay late and i said yes (????)#can’t wait to go home and have my dad be passive aggressive at me for not having a job.#(in case you missed the obvious insane thing about that. i DO have a job. he’s mad because i haven’t figured out a ‘career’)#which i haven’t done because i cannot imagine a bearable career in this society. let alone the field my degree was for.#and also. i’m literally lloyd dobler but a 23 year old girl
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Me, my friend, and her daughter (she's 5) were walking at the park today and her daughter just reached up and grabbed my hand and held my hand for like 5 minutes while we were walking and i almost started crying
#she didn't want me to leave when i was leaving 🥺#we saw a little baby mouse in the visitor's center at the park and got the people there to rescue it and she wanted to pet it so bad 🥺#i think my new best friend is a 5 year old little girl even though I'm really awkward around kids#like what do you talk to them about? hello child i am 23 and depressed but you are 5 and adorable pls don't ever grow up#i gave her a bee i crocheted bc it was from a kit that andrew got me and it was supposed to be a 'turtle bee' where it was a turtle and you#took it's shell off and it was a bee. i only ever got around to making the bee part and then we broke up and i couldnt look at it anymore so#i gave it to her and she's like why doesn't it have a mouth and my first thought was well kid I didn't feel like looking at it anymore and#you'll appreciate it more than i will so you can have it even without the mouth.#im debating on giving her the squishmallow he gave me. cause it's currently wedged between my bed and the wall#but it's cam and he was my favorite squishmallow before Andrew got it for me. like i already had one this one is a different edition#so like i want to keep it bc it's a Christmas sweater cam. but i dont want to keep it bc ouchy memories. and she'd get more use out of it#than it being wedged between my bed and the wall so i dont have to look at it#we were driving back from this store bc her mom had to pick up a uhaul and she was too small to ride with her so she got to ride with me#and this poor little 5 year old had to carry the conversation bc i didnt know what to talk to her about 😂 she's like what do you do when#you're home and im like don't tell her you lay in bed all day you can't tell the chils you're depressed and im like i like to read and play#with my animals and crochet. she was very jealous that i have cats. and when we were driving back from the park i had music on and her mom#and me were talking and shes like I CAN'T HEAR THE MUSIC GUYS and her mom goes that's her way of telling us to shut up. and then we stopped#talking and she's like i still can't hear the music 🙄 so i turned it up some and im like jen im introducing your daughter to waterparks 😂
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when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro
#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes#i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses#i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything#it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever#i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless#everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad#i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards#but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like#ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything#it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but#she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible#we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway#it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without#sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks#i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18#and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society#i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am#20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already#why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong#i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing#i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there#i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic#i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse#nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there#i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am#i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not#it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying#i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit#ramblings
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possibly controversial opinion but…
#coming from an older gen z…#a lot of the younger gen z ARE really lazy#they just are#I remember when I worked as waitress and all these 16-18 year olds started#I was around 22/23#and this whole ‘minimum wage minimum effort honeyyy 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼’ stuff is all good except#they’d literally do nothing and rely on the rest of us to do EVERYTHING#like they are fuckinf lazy and don’t know how to work#and listen when I was 19 and started work for the first time#I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK EITHER#but I had hard work instilled in me so I’d actually TRY#and guess what the managers don’t want you to be perfect or amazing as long as you’re trying#listen we are all getting paid minimum wage here#but you still need to put in some sort of effort so we can all get home on time#instead of you doing nothing and us doing everything#and not all!!! bc I remember there were two 16 year old girls#only 16 like literal babies#but they worked so hard#or not even worked HARD but like they TRIED and they were helpful#I’m sorry but kids these days have such bad attitudes and are lazy as fuck#99% of teenagers today and idec if I sound old when I say this#it’s true they just haven’t been raised right or something#look I also always say minimum wage minimum effort but that doesn’t mean I’m lazy and not helpful at all#idek y’all i remember coming out that job like… wow… so this is how people are raising their kids#my younger brothers do not act like this it’s genuinely insane#badly behaved lazy ass IDEC IF I SOUND OLD AND BITTER#it’s the truth lol
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I really expressed this before but it's kinda sad I didn't find DSaF back when my sibling issues were at their peak bc I'd have been like straight up Branded if I met this guy who is a middle child and is rotting and has a strained relationship with his older brother and used to have to take care of his little sister who on top of everything is a redhead and 6 years old and is extremely guilty but also can have an awful relationship with her like my ass wouldn't have survived brother. My ass would have never came back.
#luly talks#me and Jack we're kindred souls and we'd have been more even so if I didn't get over my guilt#sad!#well i had a brother not a sister but he was 6 years old when i left and also a redhead for no reason#reason was i mean that our grandpa is a redhead but no one else was so the gene just popped back up I guess#but yeah like. i got over my brother pretty well but i used to be super depressed#i no longer think of them bc im tired of being disrespected lmao#the only one i haven't blocked is my older brother#you'd prob go a few years back in my tag 2022 even 23? and see me be mentally ill tho#having breakdowns over that shit#i mean i was robbed of my family but they see me as the villain so#our shit is more toxic admittedly#no need to explain the rotting thing also we all know every so often i start rotting#i was rotting hard a few yeaes back 21 or 22#like when you taste your mouth and you feel it when your hair thins when you're pale and big eyebags#sometimes your organs just start rotting with you still wearing them and that's that#sometimes death forgets to pick you up
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growing up with sapkowski’s works timeline (teen to early adult)
13 — ciri age (BoE)
14 — ciri age (ToC)
15 — ciri age (LoTL), pavetta age (QoP)
17 — shani age
18 — essi daven age, nicolette age (ToF)
19 — angoulême age
23 — reynevan age (ToF)
24 — condwiramurs age
25 — cahir age, reynevan age (WoG)
27 — reynevan age (LP)
late 20s — milva age
#just putting this… out there into words. because i must say it#i was feeling shitty that i would have a birthday and havent accomplished anything#but then i thought about it and realized 23 is officially the age where you have a free pass to be stupid as hell#a la reynevan in narrenturm. so good job#‘haha i get to grow up with reynevan. that’s crazy dude [falls down the stairs]’ im going to be here forever. :|#i put essi and shani in here just to make everyone want to gouge their eyeballs out 👍#essi is ‘barely eighteen’ so i will just say: eighteen#txt#the milva age is me guessing/approximating. don’t sue me#she was 16 when she left home and then she hunted for a few years by herself and then the dryads caught her and she hunted for them#and she just acts like someone in their late 20s so there plus she is protective of cahir who is youngest#also i had to look up reynevan’s age in LP because i haven’t gotten there yet and i was dodging spoilers like in the matrix#and because it takes place in 1429 i just deducted#and because i know he is 27 now now i am thinking of him and nicolette as that vine#‘babe. happy one year’ ‘awww :D … i’m 27??? O_o??’#i’m not putting adéle age because um. her qualities and her fate aren’t exactly inspiring#alsooooo seeing adéle age and reynevan age next to each other. it’s kind of **FBI OPEN UP**#i’ll say ok because it’s a historical fantasy. but i still don’t like it lmao and that’s my right
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I thought I had gotten over my deep self loathing over having almost zero sexual experience but it’s back I guess!!
#I hate myself it makes me feel so cringey and lame and gross and unappealing#I feel so ashamed and embarrassed#I’m not even ace at all and I’ve always wanted to have sex but I’m so unappealing and weird it never happens#I was 23 and it happened like twice with someone I had zero interest in#but I was so relieved for the first time in my entire life someone wanted to have sex with me#everyone acts like it’s so easy to get laid#it seems like sex just comes so naturally to everyone else and they just like#meet people and there’s attraction both ways??#I can’t imagine that happening to me#I know it isn’t actually a big deal to not have sex but#society acts like you’re an ugly loser if you haven’t had sex by the time you are like 18#and I went through four years of college without ever having sex#most people I knew back in high school had sex already#it didn’t even happen for me in college#I feel like there’s something deeply wrong with me that makes people not want me
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What is going onnnn
#logged onto fb today as you do when you enjoy wasting your time#and uh. my brother changed his profile picture. and my other brother LIKED IT#THESE MEN DO NOT KNOW EACH OTHER. the first brother; i have known he existed my entire life#he is my dad’s son from his second marriage. i am from his fourth. which is fine#the second brother; i found out he existed in july#dna website told me he was my uncle but i was like ‘that literally cannot physically be possible’#my dad’s parents were well into their fifties in 1966 and my mom’s parents would not have had a son in 1966 and adopted him out#like what would have been the point. my uncle was already born then and my mom was born a year later#if they’d had a child between those two they simply would’ve kept him#also i looked up this man and was like ‘he looks exactly like my dad in the face’ so that was when i was like. i think i know what happened#here. i think my dad aged 23 cheated on his second wife and did not know that this fling produced a child#so yeah i’ve communicated with my second brother. but i guess he decided to go looking for further answers and added my first brother#which i completely understand because i am a useless person tbh. i’m bad at communicating and i don’t have a lot of information for anybody#like my first brother had our dad for 39 years. i had him for 11. i also don’t have the easiest time talking about him because it was a#traumatic loss for me. so.#like i said i don’t know what they’re talking about if anything. i don’t know if my first brother even knows who this man is. he accepted#the friend request? but that doesn’t mean a lot. maybe they found each other on a different dna site#that would be really funny actually#i hope they’re getting along. i mean they probably are. they’re the same age and actually have some similar interests weirdly#i mean one is into heavy metal and the other is into historical reenactments but they both like dogs and fantasy novels#my dad’s dna must have so much fucking information in it. it was literally like ‘okay all of this man’s descendants are going to be 6’+#even the women; with dark hair; dark eyes; round faces; and they are going to spend all their downtime reading books and drinking tea#and have an inexplicable knack for training dogs’#it’s WEIRD. it’s so fucking weird that he had four kids and the two he didn’t even raise STILL fit into this mould#personal
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