Tumgik
#most people I knew back in high school had sex already
dullgecko · 1 day
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I love a trans Riz moment and one of my headcanons is that goblin names are gendered by the number of syllables (Pok, Sprak, Riz all being one syllable, Sklonda being two).
And we all know that middle school Riz was Going Through It in terms of bullying so he was almost certainly also misgendered constantly by the other kids.
I think that’s part of why Sklonda is so against the other Bad Kids using nicknames for Riz because The Ball is two syllables and they’re accidentally misgendering Riz (according to goblin grammar) and she has had enough of other kids misgendering her son because they think it’s funny.
It’s also why Riz hates the multi-syllable nicknames like Rizbert and Rizwalda and keeps insisting it’s “just Riz”. But equally he also doesn’t want to come out. He’s sure it would be fine, but he doesn’t want to risk it just in case things go wrong. So he doesn’t know how to explain it so he doesn’t say anything, but it definitely hurts every time they do it.
(I think at some point he does deserve to snap at them though, as a treat).
(I’ve been trying to write a fic about this for ages but the words aren’t wording right, so I offer it up as a humble headcanon to be rotated in other peoples brains)
Goblin biology is different from humans or elves or even half-orcs. They're goblinoid not humanoid after all, their anatomy was different and their ancestors could be traced all the way back to the fae realms in eons past. Like with most creatures of the fae realms their relationship between their biological sex and gender is fairly loose, or more realistically practically non-existant. Hells, if you want to be a different biological sex the switch is incredibly quick and easy. Just go and talk to one of your hordes elders and with magic you'd be done within half and hour. Simple.
Riz grew up in Elmville though and Solesians tended to be weird about the whole thing. Sex and gender seemed to be intrinsically linked for some reason and, in order to naturalise better, goblins tended to stick with the gender that most-accurately reflected what was expected of their current biology.
Riz was six years old when he told his dad he didn't want to be a girl and that was that. A quick jaunt up to his families ancestral home, dinner and a minor name change and he was back in Elmville ready for school on Monday. It should have been as easy as that but even after explaining that he was a boy now the kids at his school just didn't seem to understand. They constantly kept calling him by his old name, some of the Helio kids even going so far as to corner him and preach at him about how what he'd done was evil. The bullying lasted for years and followed him all the way through middle school, only adding more ammunition to what he was already dealing with just by being a goblin in the first place.
He thought he'd managed to leave he worst of the bullying in the past when he finally made it to high-school. None of the kids who knew him in middle-school had come to Aguefort so no-one knew that he was a girl before. Just to make double sure though he made sure to dress the part. No one would call someone in a suit a girl, it was the most masculine outfit he could think of after all.
Honestly it was going better than expected. He did wince initially at the whole The Ball nickname but that was fine. His friends didn't know the multiple sylables were a thing in goblin, though his mom still drew her lips into a think line and glared whenever she heard Fabian call him that. They didn't even call him that in a teasing way anymore, it was more of a title so he felt like it didn't have the same kind of connotation.
At the moment though they were teasing him a little bit. It was all good-natured, someone having commented that the nickname Fabian still used for him was weird and they should really think of another one. They'd rotated through quite a few humerous titles but had somehow strayed dangerously into nicknames playing off his own name which he protested.
"Oh! What about Rizbert? Or Rizmothy." Fig waved her spoon towards the goblin, swallowing around mouth full of icecream even as Riz winced.
"Guys no. Just Riz is fine. Or The Ball. I dont mind The Ball. Plus you keep making my name longer aren't nicknames supposed to be short?" He clutched at the glass of his milkshake, claws tapping at the glass as he tried to get them to change the subject.
"Yeah but you cant go shorter than Riz so we need to think of something else." Kristen nudged her shoulder against their rogue, the height difference meaning she just bumpd him directly in the head which made him make a quiet 'ow' and rub his temple where she'd clocked him.
"What about Rizzy?"
"Guys seriously I don't-"
"Rizriz?"
"Please stop."
"Rizbian, no thats too close to Fabian."
"Kristen honestly I don't like-"
"Rizgug! No wait same issue as the Rizbian one. OH how about Rizik."
The goblins eyes narrowed down to thin slits as the last name was said, Riz baring his teeth and slamming his glass into the table with a loud bang that made his party members jump.
"It's just Riz." He spat, venom lacing the short sentence as he pulled his ears back and down. Kristen holding her hands up in front of her in a defensive posture even as the goblin grabbed his breifcase off the seat beside him and slid down under the table.
Riz duck between his party members legs, not able to hear them calling after him over the sudden roaring sound of his own blood in his ears, and stalking out of the diner without another word. Milkshake dripping onto the spot where he'd just been sitting because the glass had cracked when he slammed it down with too much force.
They'd tried to follow after him but it was basically impossible after he left their line of sight, the rogue was incredibly adept at not being seen when he didn't want to be and he really didn't want to be right now.
He managed to drive his party into a mild panic after only a few hours, the goblin marking himself as offline in their group chat and declining their calls after a few rings (including Fabians, which did not bode well considering how pissed off he'd been when he had stalked out). Adaine had even tried to skry on him, but his wisdom was high enough that he easily slapped down her attempt and sent her a single text message consisting of the word 'no' before turning his crystal off completely.
They'd ended up splitting up to search for him across the city, heading for any spots he might go and promising to fill eachother in if they spoted him. Fabian had been circling the town on the Hangman for a while by this point, squinting down alleyways as he passed just in case he could spot their sneaky party member down one of them.
He'd passed the Strongtower Appartments at least twice before he thought to check there as well. Sure, it was a far too obvious a spot but maybe The Ball HAD just gone home.
Fabian hopped off The Hangman outside the front of the apartments, patting its seat and telling it to continue circling and searching without him as he stepped inside. He knew where Riz's appartment was, hells he even had a key these days, so he head there directly and let himself in.
He probably should have knocked before just barging in though, given that there was a rather pissed off goblin woman currently sitting at the dining room table glaring daggers at him. "Ah. Apologies. I did not expect you to be home. Have you purchance seen The Ball recently?" He had paused, half-inside the apartment with his hand on the doornob and very nearly backed all the way out again when she somehow managed to look more annoyed when he spoke.
"I'm not going to confirm or deny if I've seen Riz recently." She put heavy emphasis on his name, ears flicking as she interwove her fingers on the table in front of her. "But, if you have come to apologise I may see fit to pass it along when I do see him."
"Pardon?" Fabians look of genuine confusion made Sklondas demeanour shift, ears flicking into a more curious position rather than the angry one they'd been settled in before.
"You're not here to apologise for deadnaming him?"
"Sorry I'm not following? We were having lunch and he got pissed off and stormed out. We were looking for him because well.... we were worried and he switched his crystal off." Fabian entered the apartment completely, letting the door swing shut behind him with a click as he stood awkwardly in the entrance area.
"You called him Rizik."
"Kristen called him Rizik." Fabian corrected her, noteing that the normally open door to Riz's bedroom was shut. "Fig mentioned that you didn't seem to like when we called him The Ball and was trying to find a new nickname. I recall that may have been among them."
Sklonda rubbed her hands over her face, heaving a sigh before tipping her head back to look towards the ceiling as if asking a higher power for help. "Don't use that name again. Didn't you know it would upset him?" "No?"
The goblin woman gave him a confused look, pushing back her chair and heading over to Riz's room to knock on the door. Cracking it open slightly and chattering at the person hidden inside in goblin before shutting it again.
"Goddamnit kid. How are they supposed to know if you don't tell them." She donked her forehead against the closed door before turning back to face the fighter.
"Look he's fine and home. Tell the others that but he doesn't want to see anyone at the moment. I think he's mostly feeling silly about getting so pissed at you all and storming off because you couldn't have known it would upset him." She pointed a finger at Fabian before waving for him to sit down at the table. The half-elf pulling out a chair and sitting down obediantly when directed to.
"The kids at his last school used to call him Rizik all the time and thats because it was his name. He shortened it when he told us he was a boy and I'm only telling you this because he said i could. Don't tell the others."
Fabians eye went a bit unfocused as he tried to process what he was being told, eyebrows shooting high on his forehead when he finally put it together. "TOLD you he was a boy.... So he wasn't before... Ah. Deadname. Understood. I'll.... inform the others that that particular nickname is completely off the table."
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romance-incubomp3 · 10 months
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I thought I had gotten over my deep self loathing over having almost zero sexual experience but it’s back I guess!!
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spider-man-199999 · 1 year
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No need to hide it
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gif by @userjoel
pairing: college!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader; Post nwh; not too canon
word count: 6K
warnings: underage drinking for USA citizens; mentions of sex
summary: Peter thought no one remembered him after the spell, however you did, but not for the reasons he was afraid you would. Mostly fluff and slow burn romance.
a/n: I'm a sucker for college!Peter, I literally cannot think about anything else. ANY SCIENCE TALK IS A BUNCH OF BS I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CHEMISTRY OR SCIENCE.
part2
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"Hey, catch!" you heard a male voice from somewhere behind you, making you turn towards the sound. A brown leather football flew throgh the air, landing in your feet. You picked it up, throwing it back to the shirtless man that was jogging in your direction.
"Thanks!!" He said after he caught it, running off back to whoever the other shirtless dude he was playing with was.
"Yeah no problem..." you muttered under your breath, trying to hide how flustered you were.
It was orientation week at Empire State University.
The weather, apparently, was still warm enough to have people running shirtless around campus, and being the shy, awkward geek you were, it was hard not to get embarrassed by any social interaction, let alone one that included both sport and a half-naked man. Overall, orientation week was going well. You checked out a few classes that sparked some interest, went to the library, the gym, even got completely settled in your dorm room. Things were going smoothly, excluding the fact you hadn't really met anyone new. Most of the people in your classes seemed like they already knew at least one person and stuck to them. Since you were not really the type to go out of your way and approach people, it left you walking around campus alone, sitting in class alone and even eating alone. It wasn't all that bad, just lonely. Your roommate hadn't arrived on campus yet either, so everything felt especially odd to you, like you were invisible to everyone. 
Four days in and the long walks between buildings were already annoying. It was so easy to get lost or distracted on the way between buildings. You didn't know the shortcuts yet, so it was always a hazard whether you would make it to class on time. Miraculously you got there early, and gave yourself a mental praise for that. You didn't expect to actually be in a lab on the first day of class, and were glad you got there on time because there were barely enough lab coats for everyone in the room. You really didn't want to be the freak who wasn't wearing one. You scanned the room as you sat down on one of the desks, secretly praying that this class wouldn't require having a lab partner or work in groups because it was going to make you feel even worse. And as you were stalking the people around you, your eyes landed on someone who looked suspiciously familiar. He wasn't terribly tall, curly brown hair, one backpack over his shoulder, flannel shirt over a plain white t-shirt and regular blue jeans. You could recognise Peter Parker from miles away. You've never felt so terrified and so excited at the same time. You finally knew someone in this university and it had to be him of all people. He never told you he was going to ESU. In his defense, you couldn't really recall ever speaking to him. You used to have the biggest crush on him back in high school, but never gathered the courage to actually chat him up, even if it were about homework. He never got assigned as your partner on a project either (no matter how many times you would fantasize about it), so you just graduated one day and accepted the fact it just wasn't meant to be. 
But now you were presented with the perfect opportunity to actually talk to him and decided to take it. Unfortunately, the class started before you could approach him. You tried your best to keep your focus on the professor, but it seemed as if that was not necessary, he was only going over the main goals of the class and what books you would need. You sneakily looked over Peter from time to time, thinking about what would be best to say to him and not make it awkward. 
The class was over in the blink of an eye, which made your heart beat pick up because you no longer had an excuse to not approach him. There was a line forming around the coat hangers, which you thought was going to be the best way to casually start a conversation. You cut the line when you saw Peter hang up his coat, putting yours next to his and smiling at him. He smiled back when the two of you locked eyes. 
"Hey" you said "Peter Parker, right?"
He looked a bit stunned by your question. First, he was starstruck because the prettiest girl he had ever seen came out of nowhere and greeted him and secondly, she knew his name. And that was not supposed to be like this at all. His mind was rushing and calculating how it were possible. Were you a supervillain from an alternate reality trying to expose him? Or did the spell just not work on you? All of the scenarios seemed very bad for him. 
The way he just sat there and said nothing was making you extremely nervous. It did feel like a terrible idea now that you had done it. 
"We used to take Spanish together in high school." you added, your voice shaking slightly from the anxiety. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I'm really sorr-"
"Wait Spanish?" he finally said, his theories crumbling down when he realized what was actually going on. You were no supervillain, just an old classmate. Yet, he was sure he would have remembered you. 
"I really don't remember..." he continued, feeling his cheek heat up.
"Oh that's fine, we never really... spoke? Like at all, I sat all the way in the back and no one could make me say a word."
He laughed softly at your words. 
"Wanna discuss this over coffee? If you don't have any other classes?"
"I'm free, so yeah, we could grab a coffee"
20 minutes later the two of you were laughing over how ridiculous you looked in the yearbook. Peter was holding your phone and looking at the photo in which you still had braces on, your eyebrows were so badly drawn on because you thought shaping them with a razor the night before was a good idea. It was not, you shaved off so much from one of them you had to fill it in. And since it was your first ever filling eyebrows in, it was very, very bad.  Also, your hair looked like it was made out of dark matter, because you recently had it dyed black, straightened it and accidentally put a bit too much hair oil on it. You were definitely not having a good time back then, but it was a small price to pay to hear Peter laugh so hard. A 4-month accutane treatment to acne and taking your braces off could really make a person change enough. It was a glow up and Peter could really see it now. 
"Okay now that I've seen that, I actually do remember you! You're the girl that got hit in the head with a basketball while tying her shoes on the bench during gym! Somehow you fell back and got under the benches so I had to pull you out."
"Oh no" you whined, hiding your face in your hands to hide how hard you were blushing. And he was right, that really did happen once, and it was that moment that actually started your little crush on him. You were probably 14 when it happened. You fell under the bleachers and felt so embarrassed that you froze on the spot, feeling like crying. People came running towards you, Peter beating them to it, and pulled you out by the hand. He dusted your shirt off and asked if you were alright. To your teenage mind he came in like a knight in shining armor, and it made you fall for him, very hard. 
''Come on, it wasn't that bad!" he said between laughs, giving your phone back. 
"It was bad, like really bad. How can your only memory of me be my worst moment in high school?''
"If that's your worst moment, you were doing good."
You took a sip from your coffee, your finger tracing the rim of the paper cup once you placed it down on the table. You really were regretting not talking to him in school, he seemed like such a nice person, you would have been good friends. 
"Why did you decide to go to ESU? I thought you had plans to go to MIT with your friends."
"Oh, I didn't get in."
"Yeah, totally sounds believable, Peter Parker, the Stark intern, highest SAT score in our grade, didn't get into MIT" you said sarcastically, shaking your head at him. 
He sighed, looking down at his hands. His leg started bouncing under the table and he suddenly seemed tense. Now it really did feel believable, based on his reaction. 
"Sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"It's okay, honestly I was so sure I would get in too, but I don't think I ended up at a bad place"
"Obviously you didn't, I chose ESU, which makes it the best place ever. And now that I know you're here too, I get double confirmation for that." 
He laughed softly at your words.
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A few weeks later you were actually glad to have to work in pairs in the lab because Peter asked you to be his partner. 
You arrived just before the class started, sitting down at the table and putting your protective goggles on. 
"Sorry" you said as you sat down next to him, taking the empty flask that was sitting in front of him and immediately starting to mix the things you managed to read on the board. 
Peter smiled at you as he watched you, doing his own thing which you didn't pay too much attention to. 
"Roommate problems again?" he asked. 
Being lab partners meant the two of you had to talk regularly, which led to getting closer. You didn't know many people there besides him and your nightmare of a roommate. 
"You have no idea." you sighed, dropping a few droplets into a test tube. The mixture inside started smoking up slightly, you swirled it around until it stopped, passing it to him so he could heat it up. 
"What did she do this time?"
"Locked me in and took both of the keys on her way out. I had to call her to come back and unlock, she was pissed."
"Still don't get how someone can be so rude to you for no reason."
"I don't think she hates me really, she hates the idea of me. Not every 3rd year student is keen on the idea of babysitting a freshmen, I totally get that."
Peter wrote something down in his notebook after the mixture started bubbling up. You looked at it, brows furrowing. 
"What's the temperature?"
"140 F" 
"Peter that's not supposed to happen" you said worried 
"Actually it is, you didn't have the time to read the board and put only half"
"Oh-"
He removed the test tube, letting it cool down.
"It's okay, we'll just multiply it by two."
"Sometimes I wonder what I would do if you weren't here."
"Probably blow up the place."
You rolled your eyes at him before the both of you laughed, continuing your work. You tried being more concentrated now, and for the most part it was working out. Until Peter would roll up his sleeves and expose his forearms. Or when he would take the goggles off to fix his hair. You tried staring as discreetly as possible, but he probably did notice it every time.
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That same night was your first ever frat party. You weren't really a fan of parties, the high school ones you went to were boring but you were hoping that college ones were going to live up to the hype everyone was giving them. Plus, you were trying to make amends with your roommate, and she wanted some alone time with her boyfriend back at your place. The idea of frat boys really turned you off, you had seen more than enough of them in class and around campus. 
The music was booming through the speakers as you entered the house, people were everywhere. You could barely squish through the crowd, it was barely 10 pm and people were already wasted. You really wanted to let loose that night too, so you made it over to the bar and took whatever drink was handed to you first. It was vodka. Tasted bitter and burned down your throat and stomach as you drank it. The stress from university and the complicated relationship with Ruth, your roommate, were really starting to get you. Add your unresolved feelings for Peter to the mix and you really do have a strong enough pressure to make you explode like a time bomb. So, you wanted to take some pressure off by drinking and dancing. No one knew you here anyway so it was relatively easy to just do whatever you wanted. 
Five shots of vodka were already in your system by the first hour. The dance floor was yours to take. A red plastic cup in your hand while you were swaying to the rhythm of the song playing, boys were coming from left and right to dance together. And you did dance with them, probably even made out with one or two as well. It continued for what felt like forever, until 2 am rolled around and you started feeling tired and wasted. And the alcohol in your blood was about to hit you in the worst way possible and make you overthink everything that was going on around you. At that point you were sat on a couch in the trashed living room and some dude was talking to you. His hand was on your knee. You were too preoccupied by your own thoughts to even listen to whatever he had to say.
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Peter hid behind his apartment building on campus, looking around to make sure no one would see him as he took off the spider-man costume. Ever since he went back to no one knowing his identity, he had to sneak around. He couldn't risk any of his roommates seeing him accidentally so he took the costume off outside after patrol, shoved it in his backpack and walked in. If anyone was ever awake and asked where he was, he would say either the library or doing lab work with you. He really did use you as an excuse a lot to his roommates, which gave them all kinds of wrong ideas. He didn't share a bedroom with anyone, which made his life so much easier, but there was a whole other bedroom with two boys in it in his apartment. 
No one was awake when he walked in, throwing his bag on the floor next to his bed. He felt shattered. The whole studying and spider-man business was draining his batteries like never before. Peter lay down on the bed, too tired to even get out of his jeans. He was rapidly drifting into sleep when his phone started ringing. He groaned in annoyance, looking at the screen only to see it were from you. Peter quickly picked it up, any feeling of tiredness leaving his body when he heard you crying on the other side of the phone. 
"Hey, hey, what happened? Are you hurt? Where are you?" he asked, panicked. 
"Ruth locked me out again." you cried on the phone "She left her key in, she was with her boyfriend and they were probably doing the deed and locked themselves and fell asleep."
You babbled really fast, he was trying to understand what you were saying but it was muffled by soft sobs. And you didn't sound sober either. 
"Peter, you fix all of my lab mistakes, please fix this."
He wasn’t sure what to do, especially since he didn’t know where you lived exactly. There weren’t many opinions in this situation, he could either find you and kick the door down so you could get in your place or he could take you in his room and let you sleep there. 
“Can you tell me where you are?” 
“In front of my dorm?”
“I don’t know where that is, genius”
You continued sobbing at his words, which made him feel even worse. You were very vulnerable and probably scared and he was acting poorly. 
“Okay, okay, sorry, I didn't mean that. Tell me where your dorm is and I’ll come fix it, okay?”
“It’s the one next to the library” 
He hopped out of his bed, rushing towards the building. 
When he got there he saw you sitting on the steps, looking down at your feet. 
"Hey" he said, standing in front of you, his hands in his pockets as he watched you slowly look up to him. Your eyes were red from all the crying and your cheeks were still wet from the tears. Peter sat down next to you with a sigh, the second he did that he could tell you had been drinking. The smell of vodka and cigarettes were all over your clothes. 
"Hi" you muttered back after a while, not really sure what to say or do at this point. 
"So what happened?" he whispered to you, bumping his shoulder into yours
"I got locked out, again" you whispered back, looking at him. He was smiling, a warm, comforting smile that made you feel so incredibly guilty that you called him. 
It made you realize what time it actually was, and that you probably woke him up. It was the middle of the night, and you woke up the closest thing you had to a friend here to help you. You ruined his sleep so he could save you from something you could have probably figured out on your own if you weren’t drunk. 
"Come on" he said, getting up and reaching out his hand to help you up as well. ''Let's get you out of here" 
You took his hand, the tears were welling up in your eyes again as you looked at him. He seemed so tired, yet he came rushing to your rescue. 
He walked in his room, trying to be as quiet as possible. 
"Wow you have a double bed??" you said as you looked around his room.
"Oh, yeah" he said, blushing when he saw the state of it. He didn't really think about making the bed before he left and the bedding looked like scrambled eggs with all the pillows and blankets everywhere. Peter didn’t want to look messing in front of you but it was too late for that.
"Lucky duck" 
Peter was kind enough to take out some clothes for you to sleep in while you showered. It was a spare pair of pajama pants and an old star wars t-shirt. He looked away while you got dressed and helped you into bed after that. 
"I can't thank you enough for this."
"Oh, you can, you can do my calculus homework."
The both of you laughed after that. He grabbed a pillow and a blanket, with the intention of sleeping on the couch. 
"Where are you going?"
"To sleep?"
"Not here?"
"Well, no-.... I-.... Don't want to invade...."
"I feel bad enough about it as it is, please come sleep in your bed, it's big enough" you whined.
Peter stood at the door. He really didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, or crush you while he slept but at that point he was so shattered that the bed seemed like the best thing that could happen to him. You got up and pulled him towards the bed, grabbing the pillow and blanket with your other hand and throwing them on.
Peter was asleep the second his head hit the pillow, and you followed a minute or two later. It didn't feel as weird to sleep in the same bed as the two of you had anticipated. Maybe the alcohol helped. You were pretty sure that it was, in fact, the alcohol that made you call him, the one that insisted on sharing the bed as well. Sober you would probably be a flustered mess just from the thought of being in Peter's bedroom alone. 
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The second Ruth knew you had somewhere to sleep over, she took advantage of it. It was happening so often that you basically had a schedule when you would sleep over at Peter's. He didn't mind one bit because it was a reason to spend time with you. Plus, you did all your work for classes together, even in classes you or him weren't taking. So by the middle of the semester, you two were practically platonically dating. 
And it made you feel the worst and the best type of ways at the same time. You absolutely loved spending time with him and your feelings were only getting deeper and deeper with each day. Somehow, you still felt like you were taking away the college experience from him. He declined every party opportunity his roommates suggested, he rarely spoke to other girls and if he went out with friends from other classes, he would always make you tag along with them. Everyone thought that if you were not dating, then you were definitely hooking up, no matter how many times you denied it. Truth being told, it was actually kind of weird that you weren't doing either of those. And it got even weirder when someone else started expressing an interest in Peter.
Surprisingly enough, even to yourself, you actually liked going to parties. The alcohol helped you loosen up and talk and since Peter actually had other friends, now you knew some people here and there. You would always find someone to chat with at a party and you learned that socializing wasn't at all as scary as it seemed before. 
Tonight you found yourself at a random party in some basement of the dorm on the other side of campus. You knew that you'd be home late so the arrangements of staying over at Peter's were already made. As you were speaking to someone from your beginner-friendly biology class, a girl approached you. She was tall, way taller than you, had long dark hair and an amazing body. She grabbed your arm and said your name in a questioning tone. You nodded slightly taken aback from the interaction. 
"Can I borrow you for a second?" she asked, turning to the other person in an apologetic smile. 
"Sure."
She pulled you a bit away, still holding your arm right above the elbow. The whole thing was making you tense for some reason. 
"I'm sorry that I asked like this." she said, letting your arm go. "Actually, we've met before, I take calculus with Peter Parker, he brought you over at one of our group study sessions."
"Oh. Right." you did remember her now, but she looked slightly different with heavy makeup on. She definitely looked like one of the it girls on campus and you got the impression that she actually was. 
"So I wanted to ask if you and Peter were a thing?"
Once again you were stunned by a question from her. You looked around for some reason, she was making you feel uneasy. 
"Um, no, we're not."
"Great!" she said with a bright smile. "Do you think he'd be into me? He has this nerdy sex appeal, I actually really want to get with him."
You were blinking in disbelief towards her. This whole thing was really not making you feel well about your situation. She was gorgeous and she wanted to fuck your crush, it was going to end badly for you. You felt something like a ball in your throat that you knew even the gin couldn't wash down. 
"Well, good luck with that." you said, patted her shoulder and walked away before you started crying in front of her.
The whole situation really put you in a bad mood. There was nothing particularly wrong with it, but it managed to burst the bubble you were so peacefully living in. It got you wondering if Peter had his eyes on someone, if he was sleeping around with different girls, if he was going on dates. You kept imagining it, and drinking to try to stop, but nothing seemed to help. You couldn't spend every waking second with him to know, plus he never talked about girls with you. You didn't know who he was texting, or if he were going out with someone and not telling you. You were sure he wasn't because no girlfriend would ever feel okay with some random girl sleeping over as much as you did. Then again, he could be hooking up with someone, you were only sleeping over two or three times a week. 
You were so preoccupied by your worries that you almost didn't pick up your phone when Peter called. He said he finished whatever work he had to do and was going to come to the party and pick you up. It made you even more anxious. 
He walked through the door 15 minutes after the phone call. The whole thing was a sensory overload for him, the music was way too loud, the colors were too flashy, people were everywhere. He was constantly on edge because people were walking a little too close and his reflexes were being triggered. He hated parties. He hated the idea of you liking them even more. With the amount of time the two of you were spending together in the last few months, he grew very attached, he even developed a little crush of his own, but he was too terrified to admit that. Given his background and his secret, he wasn't too sure he wanted to put you through what MJ had gone through. He felt like it would be unfair to lie to you at the same time, it's not something you could hide from the person you're dating. 
People greeted him here and there, giving him brofists and handshakes. Peter really felt like a real frat boy, but he hated the experience. He froze in his tracks when he saw a girl that looked just like you making out with some dude. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, his chest tightened and it felt like someone set his lungs on fire. You were wearing black skinny jeans and a black top, hair was tied in a bun and your tongue was in someone's mouth. Was that why you sounded so weird on the phone? Was that why you waited so long to pick up? Peter was too stunned to even move so he just stood there in shock for a few seconds. He felt a hand on his shoulder, which made him snap out of it, turning his head. He met your eyes when he looked down, giving you a confused look. His head turned back to the other you that was still exchanging saliva with a guy, then back to the actual you. He finally started breathing again. Your outfit was actually nothing like the girl's, you had a long-sleeved light blue dress on that had a v-cut. It made you look really desirable and the way the color mixed so well with the lighting in the room, you looked like you walked straight out of Peter's dreams. He was practically trying to take pictures of you with his eyes for later. 
"What?" you asked as you noticed his stare, looking at your dress for accidental spills or any signs of why he was looking at you like that. 
"Nothing, actually." he said, taking the cup you were holding and finishing whatever was in it. He didn't really care what was in, alcohol had little to no effect on him but he liked to pretend. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You expected to go home shortly after Peter's arrival, but things didn't play out that way. The girl that talked to you about him earlier tonight saw the two of you and came over to chat. After 15 minutes of them talking and you awkwardly standing there, holding an empty cup in your hand, you were feeling more annoyed than ever. And pretty drunk too. You were already in a bad mood because of her, and when Peter suggested walking her to her dorm you just felt like crying. Your feet were killing you because of the heels you were wearing and you made sure to inform him but he seemed to have forgotten about that. 
And now, all three of you were walking around campus to get her safely to her room. You were giving them a side eye the whole time while she tried to scoot over closer to him. And when she said she was cold she could offer his flannel, you rolled your eyes so hard you got scared they'd get stuck and not come back. Unfortunately, they did come back and you had to witness him putting his shirt over her shoulders. Once at her dorm, she even had the audacity to kiss his cheek before walking in. It made him blush, and you, you were really about to throw up at that point. It felt like a very weird game of chess, and she had checked you in it. 
"Are you okay?" Peter asked when he saw how you looked. Gorgeous, he thought, but kind of pale and like you would collapse any second. 
"No" you said, your eyes meeting his. You could see the lipstick stain on his skin from the other girl and now you really did feel like throwing up. You were only 3 steps away from him and he made them so fast you felt like he teleported. 
"No, no, Peter, step away" you told him, your hand covering your mouth while you rushed to the nearest trash can and actually threw up. He rushed after you, holding your hair as you did. 
"You didn't look THAT drunk."  he said, patting your back while you were coughing. 
"This is so embarrassing" you cried softly, as if this night wasn't humiliating enough. 
"There, there, I hope you got it all out because I am not changing my sheets for the second time today." 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm thinking about switching my field of studies." you said, looking at Peter. 
He took his glasses, looking at you in disbelief. He was sat at his desk, trying to solve a math problem while you were lying on his bed, playing on your phone. 
"Chemistry doesn't do it for you anymore?" he asked mockingly.
"No, I just hate spending so much time with you." you replied in the same tone, sticking your tongue out at him. 
It had been a week since the whole party thing. You didn't throw up at his place, but you did have the worst hangover of your life. Peter helped you through it, but didn't pass up an opportunity to make fun of you.
"Then why are you here? I'm sure there's a party somewhere on campus."
"Shut upppp" you groaned, throwing a pillow at him. He caught it mid air and put it on the back of his chair before turning to finish his work. 
It felt like it was too early to sleep but you didn't have anything better to do since Peter was so busy with math. You turned on your side, facing the wall, since you liked sleeping on the side next to the wall, and closed your eyes. You didn't know how long it had been but you were definitely asleep when you got woken up by a knock on the door. You looked up with confusion, half asleep when Peter gave you an apologetic smile and got up from his chair to check who it was. 
He assumed it was one of his roommates that either lost or forgot his key, but he was surprised to open the door to his calculous classmate. 
"Hey, Pete." She said "May I come in?"
"Sure-" he said, letting her in
The girl walked over to the couch and sat down. 
"Remember last week when you gave me this shirt?" 
"I do." he said, only now noticing what she was wearing. It was his flannel, with a belt around her waist.
"Well, I came to return it." she said, unbuttoning it and taking it off. She got up, only in her underwear and walked towards him, handing him the shirt.
Peter was so flustered that he had to stare at his feet the whole time. 
"I think you got the wrong idea here-" he started, squeezing the flannel in his hand.
"About what?" she asked, squatting down in front of him so he could see her, and, well, you know...
Just as he was about to move, the door of his bedroom flew open. You stood there, wearing his shirt as your pajamas, double taking on what you were seeing. You didn't think there would be anything serious happening, but the chatter was disturbing your sleeping attempts and you wanted to check what was going on. But now you were just frozen in your spot, staring at a half-naked girl that was on her knees in front of Peter. Both of their heads turned towards you, staring in the same amount of disbelief. It felt like your worst nightmares had turned into reality. Neither of you knew what to do or what to say and you just stood there in silence, the tension so heavy it could suffocate someone. 
"It's not what it looks like." Peter managed to say, holding eye contact with you. 
''I'm so sorry, I didn't know-'' she started, getting up from the floor. 
"I think I'll pretend I dreamt that and go back to sleep." you said, closing the door before anyone could do or say anything else. 
"Peter, I didn't know, she told me you two weren't a thing last week."
He handed her the shirt, not even bothering to look at her. 
"We're not. You can keep this, go home."
She walked to the door, stopping at it to look at his back. 
"I'm really sorry, if I can do anything, tell me." 
"Goodnight."
He knocked gently on the door before walking in. He saw you tucked in the bed, hugging one of the pillows. You weren't really sure what to feel right now and you were trying your best not to cry. It wasn't like the things between you had changed and you had no right to be upset over his personal affairs. Peter sat on the bed next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. 
"I know you're not sleeping, can we talk about this?"
"Talk about what?"
"What happened back there."
"There is nothing to talk about."
"I don't want you to get the wrong idea."
You sat up, still hugging the pillow. You pressed the back against the wall, looking directly into his eyes.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why don't you want me to get the wrong idea? Whatever that is supposed to mean."
He looked at his lap, unsure of what to say next. 
"Because I'm not that kind of guy."
"Peter, it's none of my business what you do for fun."
"For fun? You think I do this for fun?"
"You're not doing math for fun, that's for sure."
"Are you always a bitch or is it a defense mechanism?"
"You were the one who wanted me to ''not get the wrong idea'' and suddenly I turned into a bitch?"
"Okay, I overstepped on that one. Nothing happened there, I haven't talked to her or seen her since we left the party together and you threw up."
"Okay, for some reason I believe that, but why should it be concerning me?"
"Stop pretending."
"Excuse me?"
He didn't say anything after that, just pulled your arm so you could get closer to him and kissed you. It happened so fast you couldn't really process it. Once the shock was over, you kissed him back. You probably looked like a teen movie kissing scene, you on your knees and arms while he was sitting, one arm for support and the other one cupping your face as you kissed. 
"I should have done this way sooner." he said after you parted.
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americanwh0rerstory · 11 days
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Party at the x mansion [peter maximoff]
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SUMMARY: whilst the other x-men were on a mission, some of the students at the school had some other ideas…
drunk!peter x f!reader.
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CONTENT WARNING: alcohol, brief mentions of vomiting (not detailed), suggestive ending with discussions of sex
READER DISCRETION ADVISED. SUGGESTIVE ENDING WITH NO EXPLICIT NSFW
A/N: If you want a part 2 it would contain the nsfw scene. i need opinions on this
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flashing lights bombarded his senses, the thumping bass of the party music blending with the faint sounds of puking invading his eardrums. he stumbled down the stairs with wavy vision and made his way back into the main party area after taking a quick detour to sort his looks out. after all, Y/N was here. the one girl who could break the speedster’s usual attitude. for the first time he couldn’t use his mutation to get around the party quickly, the alcohol clouded his vision so he’d most likely run into a wall.
with a red solo cup clutched in one hand, he poured himself another cup of WooWoo from the nearly empty pitcher. his hand trembled and his vision unfocused with how drunk he currently was. looking out into the sea of people, he couldn’t spot Y/N anywhere but the alcohol finally gave him the confidence to make the first move to - hopefully - going out with her. he didn’t wanna be like the stereotypical party jerk who only wanted women for sex, no, he wanted to shower her with affection, and love; the proper princess treatment.
eventually he spotted her on the other side of the party, drinking whatever her choice of poison was with a grin on her face. despite what seemed to be right he took the risk and dashed over to her, leaving a blur of silver hair behind him.
“hey, Y/N” he said with a lopsided grin, a faint blush already painting his cheeks with a rosy hue. his mind was racing faster than any speed he could run, trying to get over the fact he was talking to the only person to have ever made him fully short circuit.
“wanna go somewhere after this? i’ll run you to anywhere you like babygirl” he slurs slightly. he tried his hardest to seem composed but it was obvious by the way he was bouncing on his heels and fidgeting with his hands that he was nervous, a trait you had never seen in the speedster
the pet name also took you by surprise, but you dismissed it as a drunken mishap or one of his platonic affectionate terms that he’d use on anyone he could. you also didn’t know where to go. at this time everywhere would be shut, and he was in no condition to go on a date in a high end restaurant. even sober you couldn’t take him there, the klepto would end up stealing a fork thinking it was real silverware.
“the only place you need to go is to bed. you gotta sleep this off peter, maybe we can do something when you’re sober” you say politely and softly, politely turning him down but agreeing to go out another time. however judging by the pout that fell onto his lips, he wasn’t liking that answer.
“bed? i don’t wanna go to bed, not unless you’re with me” a sly grin crept onto his face as he said the last part of his sentence, but you knew peter well enough to know he wouldn’t try to take advantage of you. he’d never even dream of it. so you agreed to go back to his form
he put a hand behind your head and wrapped the other around your waist. “just a warning: whiplaaaash” he murmured into your ear before speeding you back to his room.
once you was in there, he gave you a quick and affectionate kiss on the cheek before grabbing a box of twinkies and offering you one, or maybe 10 with the amount of twinkies he had in his room.
a movie marathon, twinkies, cuddles, and marching pyjamas is how the night ended. it was serene despite peter’s inability to keep still. his knee was constantly bouncing, or he’d randomly zip over to an arcade machine just to move around a little. either way it was a nice evening. once he finally settled down, he lay with his head between your boobs just burying his face in between them whilst you cuddled him.
“mhhhhm” he mumbled from in between your chest. “this would be great post-sex, and during, and pre-sex” he slurs drunkenly, lifting his head slightly to look up at you through half-lidded eyes
a smirk came over his lips, lighting his whole face up with an expression that couldn’t be described as anything less than dirty.
“wanna test that theory out?”
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A/N: oh my god i spent like a week on this. lost motivation so often. pls PLS tell me if this is good or not, cause i’m hating it
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primehyuck · 1 year
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MOVES
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aka good things take time (the happy ending version)
word count: 11.3k
i first started writing this because i’ve been listening to the song Moves by Suki Waterhouse on repeat, but it became much more than that
contents: long time best friend!haechan, slice of life, pining and yearning, chronological time jumps (mostly college and young adulthood), other members mentioned (Mark and Jeno!roommates), kissing, fluff, wet dreams, a good example of two people who seriously need to communicate, face sitting, morning sex, lots of pet names
“Do you think we’ll be friends for a long time?” Haechan’s soft voice distracts your attempt to focus on a blade of the blurry ceiling fan, unable to keep you cool despite it spinning so fast you think it might fly away.
“How do you mean?” the bed squeaks when Haechan sits up to lean over you.
“Growing up, I feel like my parents didn’t have many friends aside from each other. My mom told me that it’s because when you get older your priorities change and you realize who adds value to your life, and that’s who you decide to keep.” His eyes are glowing with sincerity, body blocking the flow of air from touching you at all “so when we’re older, and married with kids and other priorities, and we maybe live in different cities, do you think we’ll still be friends?”
You stare at him for a moment before shoving his face out of the way of the fans air stream.
“Definitely,” your confidence soothes him enough that he lays back down “if I ever muster up the creativity to come up with a reason to stop being your friend, you have to swear you’ll tell me how stupid I’m being, swear to me.” you smack his chest before he can even answer.
“I swear!” He smiles to himself, staring up at the ceiling with you, rubbing his hand over the warm spot where your hand made contact, melting into the mattress.
———
Growing up people always joked that Haechan and you would fall in love, that it was inevitable, practical even. Because, if you fall in love with your best friend you’ve already conquered one of the highest mountains - finding someone that you like, and who likes you back.
You had both seen the other in a relationship, an inevitability when you’ve been friends with someone since puberty. He’d cheered you on when you had your first kiss during a game of spin the bottle in high school, forced you to come out on double dates with him and a friend of his you didn’t even like just so he could take someone else out, and freshman year of college he’d even introduced you to the person you'd lost your virginity to.
The only time he cockblocked you was when you tried to get to know any of his friends more than platonically, so eventually you gave up and settled for real friendship with all of them.
“Trust me, you don’t want to touch him with a six foot pole.” He’d said freshman year when you had mentioned your attraction to his roommate, Mark.
“He seems so nice, though.” you pouted
“He is nice, but that doesn’t mean you want to be with him.”
“How would you know what I want?” you scoffed, and he looked at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Has the wind beneath my wings ever led you into the wrong arms?” He was highly animated, offended that you would question his judgment.
By the start of sophomore year it was obvious to everyone else that you were strictly off limits. All of his friends had decided unanimously that even if you did attempt anything with them they had no choice but to shut you down. The cold stare Haechan unknowingly serves them from across the room whenever they got too close was enough to keep them away. None of the boys ever minded the boundaries with you, there always was an ease in your friendship since they all knew it could never go further, but that didn’t mean they never thought about the possibility.
One night, at the end of junior year, Haechan is nowhere to be found at his own party and you graciously accept Jeno’s invitation upstairs when you complain of a headache, “we can play Mario Kart, and it won’t be all competitive like when Haechan plays with us.”
It starts like normal, and you're having fun when you realize that your tipsy brain can’t focus on the screen and the conversation simultaneously, opting for the latter as you relax into Jeno’s pillows. You don’t even notice him inching closer to you until his nose touches yours, tugging at a strand of your hair. This is the first time any of Haechan’s friends have shown interest in you, you’d never even been on the receiving end of a flirtatious stare from across the beer pong table, so you take the reins.
Kissing Jeno feels a little bit like winning, like you’ve finally made it past the invisible forcefield Haechan had put up around his friends. The kiss is lazy and hot, Jeno props himself up on one elbow and presses your back into the mattress with his chest. Your eager fingers run beneath his shirt, his abs tightening when you trail them over his sides. Your spine tingles when he groans into your mouth, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your knee and hike your leg over his hip. His hand holds strong around your thigh, and you sigh when he grinds into you.
Jeno pulls away too soon, stopping your hands reaching for the hem of his shirt with a pained sigh as he drops your leg to roll onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes.
“Fuck, I should not be doing this with you.”
“Why, you don’t want to?” You want to curl into yourself, sitting up to stare down at his shaking head.
“No, definitely not that.” he pulls his arm away to meet your eyes, the alcohol in his veins making him brave enough to admit “Haechan would be pissed.”
“Haechan?” you question “did he say something to you?” Jeno groans, sitting up and hooking his elbows around his knees, staring at the mattress between his legs.
“No, no. He’s never actually said anything,” he knows he’s revealing too much, but he also knows he’s gone too far to stop “we just know he would never want us to cross that line with you.”
“We?” you can feel embarrassment bubbling in your chest at the idea of all of your friends talking about this.
“Yeah, you know, all the guys. We figured you were just off limits, I don’t know.” he grimaces, looking up at you with apologetic eyes when you don’t respond. You huff and climb off the bed, feeling rejected in more ways than one.
You’d crossed a boundary tonight, but Jeno was still a close friend, someone you’d spent a lot of time with since he met Haechan freshman year. He still knows you, so he grabs your wrist before you can leave, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed so he can stand you between his legs.
“I’m sorry, don’t be mad.” He envelops your hands in his and brings them to his chest.
“I’m not mad,” you mumble, avoiding his apologetic gaze “I’m embarrassed that all of my friends agreed not to touch me.”
“Did you really think not a single one of us was ever interested in you?” you shrug and he squeezes your hands tighter, heart tugging in his chest.
“When people don’t act interested, that’s usually a safe assumption.” you pout and Jeno’s laugh buzzes through your linked fingers "I gave up on all of you halfway through freshman year."
“Well, some of us are better actors than I remember.”
He has you laughing by the time you leave his room, sealing the night with one more self indulgent kiss and a pinky swear to never tell Haechan about what happened.
———
Halfway through the first semester of senior year Haechan bangs angrily on his roommates door before swinging it open and Jeno is genuinely shocked that it's taken this long for the gossip to hit his ears. The rest of the boys had clocked Jeno the next morning for being ‘too happy’ and he had to make them all swear not to tell, wanting to protect your pride and his own friendship with Haechan.
"You slut!" Haechan points an accusatory finger in Jeno's direction, dragging his feet slowly toward him until he's so close Jeno has to bat his hand out of his face.
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Haechan's voice is low and angry, something new and unpleasant sparking in his gut at the idea of Jeno kissing you, touching you.
"No, I don't." Jeno can’t help but antagonize. Pleased with the perfect opportunity to trick Haechan into saying out loud what everyone else seems to have known for years.
"You kissed my best friend!" He shrieks, tossing his hands up in the air dramatically.
"So what, she's not allowed to kiss people?" Haechan squints his eyes at Jeno’s response, scrunching his nose in annoyance “how did you even find out?”
"She can kiss whoever she wants, it's all of you that aren't allowed to kiss her." Haechan waves his hand wildly toward the bedroom door, alluding to the large group of boys living in the house “you know Mark can’t keep a secret, he’s been bursting at the seams for months. All I had to do was ask.”
"It happened forever ago dude, why are you so pissed? You've never even given us a chance to get close to her in that way, maybe one of us could really like her." Jeno reasons, tugging at Haechan's strings, watching the gears in his brain turn as he tries to come up with a real argument.
"She has a boyfriend," Haechan finally says with a frown at the thought of the guy he’d only recently met, he doesn’t like him at all. From his stupid hair to the shoes he wears, there’s not a thing about your new boyfriend that Haechan thinks is good enough for you. He collapses into the gaming chair across from where Jeno is relaxed on the couch, not having moved at all since Haechan stormed in "plus, I think any of you would know by now, you've all known her for four years."
"I think, that it can take a lot longer than four years to realize how much you like someone." Jeno bites, "how long have you known her?"
"Since middle school." He picks at the hole in the knee of his black jeans, realizing what Jeno is alluding to, defensive exterior quickly crumbling.
"Right, I think that if you're blind enough then it can take ten years to realize how much you like someone."
"Well, maybe ten years is too long and that person missed their chance." Haechan turns his head to stare out the window, anxiously spinning the chair side to side.
"You know I'm talking about you, right?"
"God, yes, I know you're talking about me." Haechan glares at his friend, fidgeting stopping abruptly "and I know I've been a complete idiot about it, but like I said, I’m out of time."
———
Haechan can’t stop his free hand from clenching and unclenching as you sob into your pillow, his less angry hand rubbing over your back.
“He told me he saw us moving in together after graduation,” your voice shakes “how do you look someone in the eyes and say shit like that and then sleep with someone else?”
“I don’t know,” Haechan replies earnestly, feeling as helpful as flip flops in the snow from where he sits on the edge of your mattress “I’m so sorry.”
He takes your silence as an invitation, lying on his stomach, face turned toward you, fingers still drawing soothing circles over your shoulder blades. He waits patiently for you to calm down, unease swarming his stomach knowing that even after years of friendship he can’t truly comfort you in this moment.
“I’m so embarrassed.” you sniffle, smearing your face over your pillow before turning to look at him. He holds his breath, waiting for you to collect yourself enough to explain.
“I’m so gullible, he even told me he’s cheated in the past and for whatever reason I believed that he’d treat me differently, that he’d love me enough.” Haechan has to count to five in his head to stay calm before he speaks.
“You have no reason to be embarrassed. The most natural thing you can do is believe someone when they say they love you.” He murmurs, turning onto his side so he can pull you into a hug. When you curl into his body to bury your face in his chest he can only pray you can’t hear his heart pound against his ribs.
“He’s an idiot, and he didn’t deserve any of the love you gave him. I promise, you’re so much better off.”
Haechan hates the piece of himself that’s relieved your relationship has ended. The same piece that hated your ex the minute he met him, that feels heavy in your absence whenever you’re busy with anyone who isn’t him. The piece that crosses it’s fingers whenever you get this close in hopes that you’ll be the first one to cross the line, to finally do what he’s thought about doing for the last few months since he realized exactly how he felt about you.
“Thank you,” you mumble into his tear dampened shirt, lifting your leg over his to cuddle in even closer “thanks for always being my friend, even when I do dumb shit, like let boys be mean to me.”
He nuzzles his nose into your scalp, eyes fluttering shut at the smell of your shampoo “Thanks for letting me. Besides, even Beyoncé got cheated on, so you clearly aren’t that dumb.” the crowd in his brain cheers when you giggle into his chest.
“You’re so annoying.” He holds you even tighter.
———
“I can’t believe it,” your jaw drops and Haechan whips his head up nervously to look at you from across the couch
“What happened?”
“I got it, I got the job!” you shove his feet off your lap to jump up excitedly, bouncing on your toes as you read the email out loud. Haechan’s ears are ringing so loud he barely catches the first half, trying to shake off the dazed look he’s sure appears on his face.
“We were extremely impressed with your resume and even more so with the impression you left on the board during your interview, blah blah blah, excited to offer you this position, blah blah blah, and a relocation bonus to join us in in our new office!” the pitch of your voice rises a few octaves as you finish reading.
Haechan stares at you from his spot on the couch, eyes wide with shock that you’re too excited to notice, skimming your screen as you re-read the details in your offer letter.
His entire body is buzzing, torn between feeling excited at your accomplishment and sorry for himself.
He had a plan, a really good one, he thought. After your breakup you’d made it painfully clear that you wanted to be single for a while, and he knew if he could just be patient, it would all be worth it. So Haechan decided to bottle his feelings up, sitting patiently by your side where he had been for so many years, waiting for you to heal and hoping that when you were finally ready to start dating again he’d have mustered up the courage to make the first move.
“Lee Donghyuck, are you even listening to me!?” you drop your phone to pull him up off the couch, bouncing up and down with your fingers intertwined “I’m moving to my dream city, to start my dream job.” you reiterate and he snaps out of it, sweeping the imaginary shards of glass that his plan had been made out of under the rug and pulling you into a hug.
“That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.”
“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.” You deadpan, but squeeze him back just as tight.
“I’m sorry, I’m going to miss you is all.” He admits, "I'd follow you if my job didn't keep me here."
“I’ll make sure you don’t miss me too much, don’t worry.” you plant your cheek on his chest, surprised at the relief you feel in hearing him say it first.
———
This feeling was still a little unfamiliar, nerves. Haechan had never made you nervous growing up; excited, annoyed, passionate maybe, but never nervous.
The nerves began last summer, when he’d come out to visit you for the first time to celebrate his birthday. It was the longest you’d gone without seeing each other since you’d met, almost ten full months and the anticipation was palpable.
When he steps through the airport doors you think that it’s the relief of finally being near him again that knocks the wind out of you. Running into his open arms and being squeezed so tightly in them that you tap his shoulder to let you breathe. Ruffling his hair when he steps back and ignoring the fact that he had grown so much since you’d seen him last.
But as the night goes on, the slight changes to the person you have memorized become glaringly obvious. The way his cheeks have lost some of their cushion, revealing a sharp jaw and pointed cheekbones. The natural wave in his once unruly hair now falling perfectly over his brow bone, he had dyed it a little darker which made his tan skin glow even in dim lighting. Even his smell seemed to draw you into a trance, a much more expensive version of the Haechan you know.
“You know, that group of girls has been staring over at you since we walked in.” You raise your eyebrows playfully, pointing your glass toward the pretty gaggle that keeps walking past the booth you and Haechan occupy.
He doesn’t break eye contact with you before shrugging, “I didn’t come here to see them, I came to see you.” he smiles, punctuating his thought by reaching over the table and tapping your nose.
“I know, I know,” you laugh, batting him away “It never hurts to know when people are staring, though”
His face is unreadable as he rests his arm lazily up over the bench of the booth, body sinking into the seat while he lifts his glass to swirl his drink, biting the words that have been resting on the tip of his tongue the entire trip, and at the end of every phone call since you started your new job.
“How are you, seriously.” You push. In the time since you moved he’d started and ended a relationship with a girl that you’d never met. Your new job kept you so busy that you hadn’t even learned about the breakup until a week later, when you finally had the time to call him back. The guilt of your absence weighs you down, resenting your inability to be there for him the way he had been for you in the past.
“I’m over it, seriously.” You know he’s telling the truth, but it’s in your nature to pry.
“You never really talked about, why, you know.”
“Do I have to?”
“No, I’m sorry, I just feel so behind on your life.” You sigh and push your empty glass to the side, swirling your finger in the ring of cold water it leaves behind.
“It’s okay, really. You’ve been busy, I understand.” He reaches across the table to stop your anxious fingers “I didn’t love her the way I knew I should, that’s all. It’s a good thing that it ended, and I’m happy that it did.”
“That’s all that matters, then.” and he’s grateful that you drop the subject.
You eventually get back to your apartment, both giggly and flush from the alcohol still fogging your brain despite the long walk you'd hoped would lessen it. Haechan holds your hand the whole way back, even when he stops suddenly to pet a dog, dragging you down to the ground with him. He can’t help himself, grateful that at this point you'd touched one another in every way other than what he dreams about most, and you seem oblivious to his need to be so close to you.
As you get ready for bed he lets himself watch you undress facing the wall away from him, unaware of his gaze burning into your backside and the way his fingers tingle at the thought of pulling at the meat of your hips. He scolds his heart for thudding so loud when you squeeze your eyes into a smile at his reflection standing next to yours at the sink while you brush your teeth, the domestication of your friendship that he used to appreciate now suffocating him.
You put on a movie and invite him to rest his head on the pillow in your lap, wishing he could bury his nose into the skin of your thighs beneath it. Halfway through the movie he has to sit up to hide the way his cock is hardening at the feeling of your nails combing through his hair and down his shoulder, occasionally thrumming over his chest. He pulls a blanket off the back of the couch and tosses it over his legs as casually as possible, pulling you into his side by your shoulder, the other arm stretched across the back of the couch.
"Are you cold for the first time in your life?" Haechan never wants to use a blanket, but you’re grateful for the position giving you access to bury your face into his chest, gripping his shirt.
"No, just want to be warmer." he presses a blushing cheek onto the top of your head, trying to think of anything except the way your hair smells, or the feeling of the side of your breast brushing his wrist through your shirt. Haechan feels eighteen again and like he's discovering the connection between romantic and sexual feelings for the first time in his life. He tries to match his breathing to yours, holding his breath whenever you shift in his hold and reconnecting his stomach with your back as quickly as possible. The temptation to pour his heart out is overwhelming, but when he feels your body completely relax into his and your breathing slow down, the words become trapped in his throat, so he lets you sleep.
Haechan had never experienced a shorter 48 hours than that weekend he spent following you around the city you now call home.
You’re shining in your new space, and he happily trails behind you to all the places you’ve discovered in the almost year since you moved. His stomach does somersaults whenever you point something out that reminds you of him.
“I’ve been waiting to come here until you could come with me!” you're so excited to take him to the video game themed coffee shop that your co-workers had recommended “I thought about coming to see if it was even worth it, but I only want to play these kinds of games with you anyway.”
Sometimes he can forget about his feelings for you, when things are just as they always have been. You talk with and touch him the same, laugh at his jokes the same. He thinks that if he were to ever say out loud what he’s been feeling, that the two of you would still be the same but with a little More, ‘you guys’ but on steroids. So when everything is normal he can pretend like it‘a not. He can act like the More is there when you hold his hand to drag him around to the different machines, play games he wants to play even if you don’t want to, you even wipe ice cream off of his chin when his cone starts to melt because he’s talking too much to eat and he wonders why it took him so long to see it this way, and if you could too.
He keeps thinking the moment will come, when he’ll know spilling his guts to you is the right thing to do. But between you gushing over how much you love your new life and your willingness to point out every girl who has blinked at him this weekend, he completely loses the steam he’d gained during his flight, regardless of how his imagination runs wild with the More.
He curses himself the entire weekend for his lack of bravery, hoping that keeping his feelings in is the right decision. After his recent relationship crashed and burned because of his feelings for you he thought he had no choice but to come clean. But watching you, being with you in your new life makes him realize that his role in it hasn’t changed even if his feelings for you have.
The lump in his throat as he stands outside the departure doors is more than just sadness at the thought of leaving you, it’s the realization that he has to let the romantic idea of you go.
“How come you never cry when we have to leave each other,” you hiccup into his chest, and he coos your name lovingly.
“Don’t worry, you know I save my tears for the plane to make everyone in my row uncomfortable.” He knows that you hate that he’s making you laugh at a time like this, pulling away so you can swat his chest and he raises his hands in surrender.
“When will we be able to see each other again?”
“As soon as possible.” He nods reassuringly, wiping your tears with his thumb, heart pounding as he stares into your watering eyes “hey, you’re my best friend in the world, you annoy me every day, and I love you.”
“Whatever, I love you too.” you laugh, but his heart speeds up at the words that you’ve said to him thousands of times. You sweep your arms around him one last time before pushing him toward the airport doors “you better go, if you miss your flight I can’t guarantee I’ll let you leave at all.”
“Don’t tempt me.” He walks backwards slowly, staring at you with a ‘kicked puppy’ kind of face he mastered years ago and you wave enthusiastically, blowing loud kisses into the air that he catches and clutches to his heart.
“This is it,” he thinks, “this has to be it.”
———
Haechan is dreaming about you. He has been nightly ever since he got back from his birthday weekend. He’s grateful the dreams have variety, since some of them overwhelm him to the point of waking up and not being able to fall back asleep.
Sometimes, you’re young again and whenever anyone says “You know, it’s just a matter of time until one of you has a crush on the other.” you both theatrically gag, laughing at each other as if it were the most insane idea in the world. Or, you're sitting on his childhood couch watching your guys' favorite movie for the hundredth weekend in a row, vocalizing the parts of the two main characters and recreating all the best scenes.
Sometimes you’re at his apartment just hanging out together, which are dreams that feel so real he almost expects to see you in his kitchen when he wakes up. Most of these dreams spark a deja vu laced flame in his gut so deep he finds himself confusing them with memories. The ache of missing you wakes him up before his alarm some mornings, and he finds himself face timing you once he knows you're awake just to watch you make coffee and wash your face.
But sometimes, he has dreams that make him feel so ashamed he can barely text you back in the morning. Dreams where he reaches to touch you and you let him, where you tug at his hair and moan his name while he does all the things that he can only do to you in his sleep. He hates to say that these are his favorite, but it's the one dream he knows he'll never actually achieve and he goes to bed every night praying for them.
That’s the kind of dream he’s having when his phone buzzes him awake. He answers without looking because there are only a handful of people who can reach him when he’s on ‘do not disturb’, and you’re one of them. He hums a sleepy greeting into his phone, putting it on speaker next to his pillow and nearly drifting right back into the dream and between your thighs.
“Donghyuck” his eyes shoot open at the sound of your voice “did i wake you up?”
He can practically hear the pout in your voice, squinting at the time on his phone, “Yes, it’s three in the morning,” he stares down to where he’s half hard, running an embarrassed hand over his face even though there’s no possible way for you to know “are you okay?”
“No, well technically yes but I miss you which means things could be better.” you slur your words and Haechan smiles, somehow he's never annoyed that you call him pretty much every time you drink. He thinks it's because he's familiar with this version of you, though he definitely hasn't seen it often since college graduation. This version of you loves him hard, and is never afraid to say it.
"I miss you too," he takes a beat before adding "I was dreaming about you just now."
You gasp excitedly "Really! What were we doing." He smirks at the thought of telling you that you had been sitting on his face, hand reaching back for his cock while he guides your cunt over his tongue until you were shaking above him.
"Just, hanging out." he shrugs. It's his second time this week alone dreaming of your clit bumping his nose, and the thought makes his mouth water.
"I don't believe you." You say accusingly "that's way too boring for a mind like yours to dream up."
"What exactly is my mind like?" He yawns, throwing his forearm over his eyes.
"Oh, you know," you hum "your mind is a galaxy, with at least a billion planets and twice as many stars. I wish I could fly into your head and explore it, but NASA doesn't have the funds."
Haechan holds his breath at your compliment, the smile on his face so wide he can hear it in his own voice "That sounds like an episode of Magic School Bus."
"Your brain is definitely cooler than some cartoon, it's pretty much my favorite place on Earth."
"How would you know, you've never actually been inside?" He shakes his head, teasing you gently. Hearing words like these come out of your mouth breaks his heart and glues it back together at the same time.
"Are you saying you never think about me?" you ask him, not an ounce of sarcasm in your voice.
"I think about you all the time, I promise, all the planets in my brain are shaped like you." You hum, pleased with his response. He shuts his eyes and waits for your answer.
"Yeah, all the planets in mine are shaped like you, too." you pause for a second and add "plus all the stars, I win, I think about you more."
———
This time when Haechan comes to visit you, you know the nerves are more than just excitement at seeing your best friend. It’s a feeling that is nestled so deep in your stomach it makes you a little nauseous. You haven't seen him since you went home for the holidays and he only has one night in the city. You find yourself grueling over your reflection in the mirror, not used to being self conscious in front of him. You’re only going out for happy hour, but you put yourself together to last all night.
When Haechan finally arrives he whistles lowly, making you blush when he pulls out of your hug and requests a spin.
“I appreciate that you got so dressed up for me.” He teases, hoping you don’t catch his eyes sweeping over your legs, wanting to commit you in this dress to memory.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” you roll your eyes as if you hadn’t spent the last two hours making sure you looked as perfect as possible. Hoping he doesn’t see the pile of clothes shoved into your closet from all the failed attempts.
“Never,” he grabs your purse off of the counter and opens the door, sweeping his arm out in front of him dramatically “after you. There are some strangers outside who are waiting to catch a glimpse of you, they just don’t know it yet.”
“You are so dramatic.” You lock the door behind you, using the moment facing away from him to collect yourself. Lately you catch yourself wondering if he'd always been so flirtatious, or if you're just forcing meaning behind his words because of how badly you want him to be.
“What, a guy can’t compliment his best friend?”
You smile widely at him and grab your bag out of his grasp, popping your key inside and walking toward the entrance of your building. Praying your fingers stop shaking when you finally get a drink in you. Haechan throws his arm around your shoulders while you walk down the street to your favorite cocktail bar and you're grateful for his usual chatter, talking to you about work and his slow climb up the ladder.
“They put me in a hotel this time, so you don’t have to worry about making me breakfast in the morning.” He smiles at you, sipping his drink gingerly.
“You know I never cook you breakfast.” He feels so far away across the table and you wish that you were sitting next to him instead, shoulders cold without the weight of his arm around them. It feels so good to have him touch you, to feel like you're his. There's a small part of you that feels guilty for using his knack for physical affection to your advantage, he has no idea what the heat of his skin on yours does.
“I know, but all the meetings are in the hotel anyway so it’s easier this time to just stay there.”
You try not to let yourself visibly deflate at the news, wanting to keep him for yourself the whole time he’s in town. His knee presses against yours under the table and you focus all your energy into acting the way you would have before, but you can’t focus on anything else and cross your legs to pull away from him as casually as possible. As badly as you want to touch him, sometimes you can’t.
“What time do you have to be up?”
He groans, leaning back enough that his knee now slides against your shin, “too early,” and glances down at his now empty glass, motioning to the bartender for another “which means you need to drink faster, so I can stop at a reasonable hour.”
You smile, downing the rest of your drink in one gulp, when his foot taps against yours you know it's going to be a long night.
The end of the night finds you together on your couch with a shared bottle of wine sitting empty on the coffee table, his early meetings temporarily forgotten. You and Haechan have been in this position plenty of times, drunk, slap happy and overly touchy in a way that you had always been comfortable being with one another. The difference now is you, this version of you who wants your best friend in an entirely different way.
Every time he pulls you closer you feel electricity shoot straight to your heart so intensely that you have to duck out of his grasp. You don’t know what to do with the feelings that have been growing gradually from your toes up, now practically sprouting out of your scalp with a neon sign blinking “I’m in love with you” over and over.
“Why do you keep doing that?” Haechan whines when you all but flinch away from his hand reaching for his phone near your arm. He’d been aware of it all night, the space you left between the two of you while you walked back from the bar, your sudden inability to maintain the eye contact that he craved. The complete lack of physical touch makes him feel dejected.
“Doing what?” You give him a panicked look, practically sober at the thought of being found out, of what it would feel like to be rejected by him.
“You’re not letting me touch you,” he frowns, and the alcohol buzzes through your veins again “not that you need to let me, but you only avoid it like this when you’re upset. Did I do something?” he pouts, tired eyes low when he flops his head onto his bicep resting on the back of the couch. You forget to breathe for a second when he looks up at you under dark lashes.
“I’m not upset. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” you’re lying through your teeth, but scoot an inch closer to him to make your point. He doesn’t look convinced, and if you’d had less to drink you may have noticed the mischievous glint in his eye before he grabs you by your arm, knocking you off balance and into his chest.
“See,” he sighs happily, wrapping his arms around your body and you can feel his chest buzz when he hums, cheek pressed to the top of your head. You have no choice but to ungracefully shift your lower body closer to him, making yourself a sponge and soaking in his familiar touch “isn’t that better?”
You nod, “Yes, it is better.” and you really wish he didn’t know you so well, that even in his fifth hour of being drunk he can read your mind. He pulls your ear off his heart to grab your cheeks, smushing them together and whispering your name with a shake of his head.
“What is it?” he urges, and you wrap your fingers around his wrist to loosen his grip. You shut your eyes, take a deep breath and count to three in your head before you can talk yourself out of leaning forward and pressing your lips to his.
You feel him falter for a half second before he’s kissing you back, pulling your face closer and pushing his body toward yours. You can’t hear anything over the blood rushing in your ears when his tongue touches yours, and then suddenly his mouth is gone. He moves so quick you have to put your arms out to stop yourself from face planting into the cushion he had just been sitting on.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” you gasp “i shouldn’t have done that, Haechan, I’m so sorry.”
It takes everything in you to look up to where he’s now standing with his arms crossed over his chest protectively. You have no idea what he’s thinking, staring down at you with wide eyes. Insecurity sweeps through you under his intense gaze, and you almost beg him to say something.
“I’m seeing someone,” the way the confession rings in your ears would have you believing that he screamed the words, but his voice was barely above a whisper “shit, I’m sorry.”
You aren’t sure if it’s your life that flashes before your eyes, or your years of friendship with him, at this point the two tend to blur together.
“That’s-” you sit back on your calves and inhale shakily, knowing it’s not even worth it to attempt to fake any sort of excitement for him “why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs, swallowing thickly and pulling his eyes away from your face to stare at the ceiling “It’s new and I didn’t know how. It just never came up.”
“Well then, I’m sorry that it didn’t. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me.” grateful that he’s finally the one avoiding eye contact with you so he doesn’t see your legs wobble when you stand “probably best to pretend that never happened. I’m just drunk and I missed you-”
Your name sounds so pathetic when he says it this time and you think it’s the eighth wonder of the natural world that you haven’t started crying yet. You shake your head instead, wishing so desperately that you had changed out of the dress you were wearing as you pull the slinky material down your thighs.
“Honestly, Haechan,” You regret your next words before they even hit the air “you should probably go. You have an early morning.”
The shock on his face pains you, but you can’t stand to see what you can only assume is pity growing in his eyes for another second.
“I don’t want to go, I want to talk about this.”
“I’m sorry.” you say again and his shoulders slump in defeat, recognizing that you’d made up your mind.
“It’s okay.” He means it, shuffling forward and the look on your face is nearly enough to bring him to his knees. His breath catches when you shift away the inch he moved toward you, eyes locked on his and he can see the desperation in them before he hears it in your voice.
“Text me when you get to the hotel?” your voice cracks with a heavy mix of exhaustion and embarrassment that makes him nods once, grabbing his things and walking slowly toward your door. He turns to look at you, but his words catch in his throat when he sees your eyes begin to water, mustering up all his energy to offer what he prays is a reassuring smile before letting himself out.
You sink back into the couch when the door clicks shut, head hanging in your hands as the tears finally start to flow. You cry so hard you feel like you could throw up, replaying his rejection over and over in your mind, shame and regret coursing through your veins. Pure embarrassment heats your body at the look on his face when he told you he was seeing someone, and you’re not sure if it was disgust or pity in his eyes.
On top of the rejection, knowing that he didn’t feel like he could share something as big as meeting someone with you was a dagger to the heart, up until recently you had never kept a secret from him, and even this one you clearly couldn’t keep in for long.
You force yourself into the shower, scrubbing angrily at your skin under the scalding water. You get out once your fingers have pruned and your skin feels raw, avoiding the mirror on your way to your bedroom. You kick angrily at the dress you'd left on the floor, watching it land near the pile of outfits you had discarded while getting ready.
Haechan had texted you nearly thirty minutes earlier
“made it back”
you give it a thumbs up before turning your phone off, setting an alarm with the clock on your side table and letting the emotional exhaustion lull you to sleep.
------
Haechan is realizing that there is no way in hell that you need space more than he needs to talk to you. He tries to call you multiple times the first week after you kissed him but you never answered, and Haechan doesn’t want to push you to the point of no return. What he really wants is to go back in time and not leave you that night, but the pain in your eyes was so pronounced he couldn't bare to make it any worse. The only physical proof that you had kissed him at all being the stupid blue thumbs up on the text he had sent you that night. It's followed by a slew of reassuring texts, saying that he broke up with his girlfriend and if you would please just talk to him, that he's not mad.
This is the feeling he carries with him nearly two weeks later on the flight to you, when he’s sure that another minute of silence from you will kill him. By the time he gets to your apartment it’s almost midnight, so he knocks loud enough to wake you up.
When you open the door in a shirt he thinks might be his, Haechan knows he has no choice. He's speaking before you can say anything, before he can change his mind.
"I came here to tell you that I think you're being really stupid." He curses internally for the obvious nerves in his voice, your tired eyes widen with shock at his words.
"Excuse me?"
"Years ago you made me swear that I would tell you if you ever came up with a reason not to be my friend anymore. So I'm telling you now, I think you're being really fucking stupid."
"I'm not doing that" You defend yourself, tearing up at the sight of him. He pushes into your apartment, shutting the door behind him and standing close enough to touch. He’s staring you down with pleading eyes, and you bury your face in your hands so you don’t have to look at him.
“Then why are you ignoring me? Why won’t you let me fix this?”
“I don’t know I just,” you inhale shakily “I don't know how to do it right now, not like this."
"Like what?" He hopes he already knows the answer, but needs to hear you say it, to know that you’re as serious as he is. Your mouth feels full of cotton when he forces you to look at him by whispering your name, pulling your hands from your face and his heart pinches tightly at the tears welling in your eyes "please tell me, please. Like what?"
"You already know," your bottom lip betrays you, voice weak beneath heavy emotion when you speak "I love you, Haechan. I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I fucked everything up, but I can’t undo it."
He feels his lungs fill with relief. Haechan steps forward to close the small gap between your bodies, grabbing your jaw to rest his forehead against yours. You falter, but his hand on the small of your back keeps you from going anywhere, he's practically panting and you can barely stand, dizzy with the feeling of him. You want to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming when he whispers "You didn't fuck anything up."
He ghosts his lips over yours for a moment until he's sure you're not going to stop him. When he finally kisses you it's with years of pent up adoration, directing your arms around his neck and pressing his thumb firmly into your jaw, long fingers wrapping around the side of your throat. He practically whines when your fingers tighten in his hair and your lips part for his warm tongue. His arm wraps around your waist so tightly you have to hinge backward to keep your mouths connected, gasping at the strength you didn't know he had.
He keeps your stomach flush to his own and kisses you until you're practically limp in his arms, pulling away to breathe. His eyes are shut as he rubs his nose over yours
"I love you, too. I've been meaning to tell you for a while." All the blood rushes into your ears at his words and you can't stop your biggest worry from spilling into the air.
“What if you change your mind?”
“I made up my mind a long time ago, there's nothing you could do to change it." He blinks his eyes open, pulling his face away from yours just enough to see you, the trepidation in your eyes makes him say your name quietly.
"It's only me, you know me," he assures you in a hushed tone "you have to know by now that you are my entire world."
You could laugh, only him, as if he hasn’t been one of the most important people in your life since the day you met. As if he isn’t someone who has seen you at every stage of it so far. It’s Haechan, who has always been funny, who has witnessed the worst sides of you and never made you feel bad, who has never left your side.
You kiss him again, fingers wrapping in tight fists around his shirt to keep yourself grounded. Haechan’s heart pounds happily in his chest and he hopes you can feel it this time, both hands nestling into your hair. He kisses you gently in an effort to slow down your urgent movements, moaning at the taste of your mouth. You fall into his rhythm easily, the way his tongue rolls gently over yours makes your body go up in flames. You move your hands to slide beneath his shirt, landing on the strong muscles in his back and teasing your fingers up his sides.
When you finally come up for air he stares at you for a minute before laughing, stomach tightening beneath your fingers when he does.
"What's funny?" you shut your eyes, leaning your forehead into his chest, letting the pretty sound ring in your ears.
"Nothing, I'm just-" he cuts himself off with a shrug, nuzzling his nose into the crown of your head "I love you, and you love me back. That's all, that's how easy it is."
"It hasn't been easy at all, in fact my life has been very very hard since your birthday last year.” He pulls away from your head to ogle at you.
"My birthday last year?" You nod, feeling your cheeks flush under his intense gaze, it had really been that long "God, I'm sorry I'm such a fucking idiot."
He's kissing you again before you can ask him to elaborate, grabbing hold of both wrists in one hand while he walks you backward and guides you up onto the counter as slowly as he has to in order to keep his lips on yours. His hips are the perfect height for you to wrap your legs around, gasping in surprise when he slides his hands around your ass and presses your core tightly against the growing bulge in his jeans.
You feel shy when you pull away to ask if he wants to go to your bedroom, feeling frozen in place when he stares at you with half lidded eyes, his plump lips swollen and red.
"Tonight, I'm just kissing you." Every cell in his body is screaming in protest at his own words. He can't express how badly he wants to do everything else, to recreate his dreams, to learn the parts of your body he'd never seen before. But he can't imagine doing anything but this tonight, just this; his lips on yours, your breath in his lungs and your body melting into his.
"Why?” your eyebrows pull together in confusion. You practically shiver with need, tucking your arms between your stomachs and burying your nose in his throat. His laugh buzzes against your face, rubbing his hands gently over your shoulders and trying to control his own breathing as your lips brush over his skin.
All he can say is, “Because I’ve been needing to for a long time.”
“How long?” You pull away from his chest, leaning back onto your hands and closing your eyes when he runs his own down your sternum and over your waist, groping at the flesh of your hips and trying not to regret his romantic side.
“Way too long.”
“Your birthday?” you ask, tugging gently at his shirt. He plants his hands outside of your legs to lean in close, one corner of his mouth pulling up.
“Much longer.” Your eyes widen in shock, and he interrupts you before you can question him “can we talk about it later? I have something really important to do tonight.”
———
He tells you that he's had feelings for you since senior year of college, when you kissed Jeno. He tells you about his plan to admit everything when he had seen you on his birthday, but that he was too scared. He assures you he ended his relationship the moment he got back home the previous week “because everyone has felt like a matter of 'when' it will end, not 'if',” He tells you that just two weeks of your silence hurt worse than any previous heartbreak, and you agree. And before you fell asleep next to him he tells you again, ‘I'm so in love with you.’ and shimmies excitedly when you say it back before kissing you until you can barely keep your eyes open. He holds your cheeks in his hands and practically lulls you to sleep with his tongue, plush lips pressing to yours so gently you can hardly feel them dotting around the rest of your face. He thinks he could do this forever before sleep finally catches up with him, his arm slung over your side to hold your face to his chest.
You wake up curled into a familiar side, your first emotion being giddy as the night floods back to you. Despite your obvious willingness to go further, Haechan had meant it when he said he'd only be kissing you. It made you crazy at first, but when the two of you were staring at each other in the mirror with shy eyes while moving through a nighttime routine you had gotten familiar with years before, you were happy he had the self control you clearly lack. The idea of him actually seeing and touching you in ways he never had before, of doing all the things you'd found yourself imagining him doing over the last year; it was overwhelming. Kissing until your jaw was sore and your lips were swollen felt easy.
You’re startled by Haechan’s hand reaching for yours, holding your palm and bringing your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to each one, “good morning.” his voice is deep and tired, mouth landing on the crown of your head.
"Good morning." You press your nose into his chest happily, gripping his hand in yours and resisting the urge to squeal with delight.
"What are you so excited about, me?" He teases, hand falling on your thigh to guide your leg up the front of his, stopping just below his crotch and you hope he's going to give you what you'd been wanting all night, for the last year.
"You, I just can't believe how happy I am." You admit, lifting your head off of his chest to smile at him. He pulls you right back down, kissing your lips once before rolling you both over so he's on top of you. He presses a hand over your collarbone and drags his lips down your chin and over your throat.
"You know, this means you're all mine now." he smirks against your neck when you nod, gasping when he sucks gently at the base. He has one forearm on the mattress, the other hand too gentle on your ribs. You can feel that he's hard and you immediately roll your hips up.
"Does this mean you're gonna do more than just kiss me now?" you intend to sound confident, but it comes out as a whimper. His nose brushes over your jaw before he presses lingering kisses to your chin and cheek.
"Yes, baby, if you'll let me." You nod eagerly, shifting your face so your lips are beneath his and sighing happily when he lowers his weight onto your torso, licking into your mouth. You shiver with anticipation when he pushes at your shirt, long fingers tickling up your side before landing on your breast. You gasp into his mouth when his thumb brushes over your already hard nipple.
Your impatience is overwhelming, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it up to his shoulders. He pulls away reluctantly, reaching one hand toward his back and pulling his shirt over his head. You gnaw at your lip, running your hands over his stomach and hooking your knees around his hips as much as you can while stretching your arms over your head.
“Cute.” he murmurs, pulling your shirt up and tossing it to the side. He gropes at your chest, tongue wetting his lips before he leans down to wrap them around one of your nipples. He’s trying to act without thinking, to let the dreams he’s had pave the path down your body because he knows the second he acknowledges his nerves he won’t be able to shake them off. His heart thrums when you gasp above him, arching your chest into his mouth. He’s greedy for your sounds, his hands squeezing your breasts together and licking between them to get to the other nipple. When your hips buck up into his he groans, pulling away from your chest and staring down at you with wondering eyes.
“Can I?” He feels unnaturally shy, leaning back on his calves and watching his fingers press dimples into the flesh of your hips above your underwear, tugging at the hem.
“You don’t need to ask.” He smiles, forcing you to sit by grabbing the back of your neck for a kiss. His fingers press into your clothed core and your hips roll into his hand. He sighs into your mouth at your desperation, torn between teasing you and touching you everywhere.
You can’t keep your legs from shutting around his arm when he pushes your panties to the side and slides his middle and ring finger up your wet center, circling over your clit.
You pull away from the kiss, blinking up at him and your mouth falls open when he presses firmly on your clit, rubbing in slow circles. His head hangs as he lets out a quiet “fuck” at your reaction, moving his hand off your neck to stroke over your stomach and without it behind your head you have to lie back, he presses your legs open. Haechan stares at your chest while he settles between your knees, pushing two fingers inside your dripping core. His jaw hangs open, watching his knuckles disappear inside of you.
“So soft,” he breathes, staring down to where his fingers glisten when he pulls them out to rub over your clit again, palming over his cock getting harder in his sweats “want to be everywhere at once.”
“Want you everywhere.” you whine when his fingers pull away to hook into your underwear, tugging them down your legs. Haechan stands to strip and you hold your breath and soak in the soft swell of his hip that leads to where his cock hangs heavy between his legs. It’s pretty like the rest of him, and thicker than you'd expected with a leaking tip that matches the color of his tongue, he strokes himself once and you don’t get the chance to reach for him before he lays back on the bed, rolling you to sit on top of him. You shudder when your pulsing clit rubs over his stomach, inner thigh squeezing into his ribs. He runs his hands up your waist, scooting you an inch higher and grabbing onto your tits.
“Do you remember a few months ago, when you called me drunk and I told you I was dreaming about hanging out with you?” He shivers when you grind down in response, wet pussy sliding easily over his skin “I lied.”
Your hands press into his chest, tilting your head “what were we doing?” you can barely speak above a whisper when he pinches gently at your nipple with one hand, the other rubbing over your ribs when he smirks up at you.
“You were about a foot higher than you are right now,” you gasp and reach out to grab the headboard when he jolts his hips to move you up his chest, staring down at him with wide eyes as he shifts to wrap his arms under your legs, fingers pressing into your thighs.
“You dreamt about this?” you let him bring your hips to hover over his face, hands falling into his hair when he brushes his nose over your clit as he nods.
“All the time,” he moans and drags you down onto his face, lips wrapping around your clit. You shudder above him, letting some of your weight collapse into your heels and he groans happily at the pressure of you on his chin, pressing you harder onto his mouth to fuck his tongue into you. He wants to devour you, every sound you make goes straight to his cock which is already rock hard at the taste and smell of you. Even just thinking about the fact that it's your hips grinding over his face right now is enough to make him moan into your pussy.
You slur out praise, one of your hands shooting up to grip the headboard. His hands wander gently up your sides, eyes opening to stare up to where he plays with your tits, hard cock pulsing at the sight of your head thrown back, hips moving in gentle circles over his face. Haechan’s hand tugs yours down to his hair, trying to restrain himself from thrusting into the empty air at the feeling of you all over him. He hums happily into your pussy when you start to grind over his mouth, flattening his tongue for you to ride until your legs are shaking.
He lets out a deep “mmhmm” when you warn him that you’re going to cum, suckling hard on your clit until you’re practically begging him to let you go, body crumpling forward with both hands tangled in his hair. He's grateful you didn't touch his cock, just the thought of your fingers wrapped around him is enough to make him cum and he has other plans.
You can’t speak when you collapse onto the mattress beside him, immediately warmed by the weight of his body on top of yours as he slots himself between your thighs, sucking a hickey onto the front of your throat.
“Taste too fucking good,” he hums, mouthing over your chin and cheek “been dreaming of eating your sweet pussy for so long.” you practically swoon when he kisses you, pre-cum wetting the inside of your thigh when he relaxes his stomach onto yours.
“Hyuck, want you in me, please” Your vision is blurry, whining into his swollen lips. He works them over your cheek before pulling away from you, bringing one of your legs up to his shoulder and you rest the other knee on his hip. He can feel himself pant when he taps the head of his cock on your swollen clit, practically drooling when he sticks barely the tip inside before pulling back and repeating the tantalizing motion.
“Been waiting for too long to be teased,” you pout, trying to encourage his hips toward yours with the ankle he’s not pressing his cheek into. He smirks and circles his leaking tip over you again, watching his cock spread your arousal around before he pushes into you a little further.
“I’m taking my time with you, feels so fucking good.” He can’t look away from between your thighs, messy hair hanging over his forehead while his fingers grip your ankle tightly. You whimper when he pulls all the way out again, one more hard tap against your pulsing clit before he pushes himself halfway into your leaking pussy. You rise onto your elbows, trying to reach one hand to grab for his hip but he releases the base of his cock to stop you by lacing your fingers together. When Haechan finally looks into your eyes he bottoms out, stretching your leg toward your chest so he can lean in. His hips stutter, a choked groan rumbling deep in his chest.
“Oh my god, Hyuck please.” you beg him to move with a gasp. His forehead presses to your chin, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Fuck, baby, been needing you," he thrusts into you slowly, lifting his head to look down at you glowing beneath him with your eyes shut. He pulls out all the way before thrusting back inside, quickening his hips when your eyes flutter open, the look on your face enough to make his balls tighten slightly, shutting his eyes to regain self control "knew you'd feel so fucking good."
"M’so full, Haechan." you moan at his words and the rapid slap of his hips on the back of your thighs, forcing your eyes to stay open so you can see his face. The way his nose scrunches with focus when he pulls away from your chest, both his hands wrapping firmly around your hips while he watches his cock sink into you. Brown, shaggy hair sticks to his damp forehead, full lower lip taken between his teeth. He’s pure, unadulterated boyish beauty, and he’s all yours.
You squeak when he lets your leg drop off his shoulder, pressing your thigh as far open as it will go with your heel digging into his backside. He fans his fingers over your lower stomach, thumb reaching down to push your clit side to side and your hips tuck up for more pressure, Haechan moans loudly when the movement causes you to clamp around his cock, "Perfect fucking pussy, can't believe it's mine now. Like my fingers on your pretty clit?”
You nod enthusiastically, letting go of your breasts to hold the backs of your thighs, Haechan's eyes move up your body to stare at your chest move beneath him, nipples looking sweet as candy. He’s dying to sink his fingers into the softest part of your stomach, the way you’re moving for him makes his mind turn to sand. You stare down to where his thumb is making circles over your clit, perfectly timed with the head of his cock bruising your g-spot. You feel a second orgasm build and the corner of his mouth pulls up proudly when your legs shake. Your head hangs back as you gasp for air, "yes, please, Haechan feels so fucking good."
"Make the prettiest noises for me, want you cumming all over my cock." he leans forward just enough to trap your throat beneath the weight of his palms, other hand still moving over your swollen clit. You smile at the pressure of his body on yours, eyes fluttering shut while you moan. You nod desperately when he asks if you can do that, "if you can let me make you feel that good, please, my pretty girl."
He takes his hand off your throat when you cum, wanting to hear every sound you could possibly make. You repeat his name like a blessing that has him cumming with you, moaning and breathless as his hips start to slow, milking you both through your orgasms.
You wrap your arms around him when he pulls out of you, reveling in the feeling of him when he lowers himself down, burrowing his face into your neck and warming your skin with his breath. You hold him there for a minute until he pulls his head up, dopey smile lighting up his eyes and making you laugh.
“What?” you scrunch your nose at him “better than your dreams?”
He nods, “so much better, best I ever had, my body belongs to you now.” he smirks at his own words, but his tone is so gentle he can’t even call it a joke.
“Just your body?” you tease, and he leans his nose onto your lips for a kiss that you carry onto the mole under his eye.
“Body, mind, heart, soul,” he sighs happily when you cup his cheeks in your hands, kissing him gently “all the planets in my head.”
"All the planets in my head too."
————
masterlist
authors note // this ended up being much longer than i anticipated, maybe the longest one shot i’ve ever actually written! i appreciate everyone who voted for happy ending because when i was originally thinking of a sad ending it was too hard lol. this feels forever unfinished because there is so much good to this version of haechan, i adore him.
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lexirosewrites · 1 month
Note
Hey happy slick sundays! This is inspired by a Drabble by wheatnoodle and your fics, hope you like it.
*in this universe the upside down never happened but Steve still became pack mom to all of the kids and saved them from various situations*
The Corroded Coffin boys have just had about enough of it. Every session it was “Steve this” and “Steve that”, the pups could not seem to shut up about Harrington and they had all about had it. They didn’ t care that he was an omega and they didn’t wanna hear about how the King had supposedly changed. According to the kids rainbows shot out his ass and everything he touched turned to gold.
It was with these thoughts in his head, intensified by just having finished their weekly dnd session, that Gareth got thinking. The four older boys kicked back and within minutes he couldn’t hold back the vitriol from pouring out his mouth. “There’s no way I can take much longer of that guys” Gareth said while running his hand over his face. The others already knew what he meant as this wasn’t the first time they had sat back and complained about the ever present Steve shaped stain in their lives. Jeff sitting forward gets a contemplative look on his face, “there has to be some kind of way to deter him from hanging around, I mean the pups need a wake up call on who they idolize”. This thought would then spur them all into trying to figure out how to get back at Steve while showing the pups who he truly was on the inside. A spoiled, stuck up, and rotten omega.
You see even during his reign, there had been rumors. No one really took them seriously at first because being the most popular omega in school meant stories true or false circulated daily. But there had been one rumor, one that at the time, they had all laughed at and joked around about. One that they could maybe use to their advantage; that King Steve had a crush on Eddie the Freak Munson and that’s why he avoided him at all costs. The rumor was started by Tommy of course and while the boys weren’t sure it was true (it was) there were signs present day that it might just be. (Steve blushes like crazy around him, compliments him, bakes something for every dnd session, the list goes on)
All that to say Gareth gets the brilliant idea that Eddie should just try and romance Steve. I mean he dated just about anything that moves, and the pups were joking about a dry spell lately (coincidentally lining up with when Eddie and him started interacting more), so this could be their golden opportunity. Get all the dirt they can on sir highness to prove to the pups to drop him, make him fall in love, and then leave him in the dust when it’s all said and done. It was a genius plan.
Well that is until Eddie is 3 months in and Steve still hasn’t wanted to have sex because he doesn’t want this to be like all the other times. And they’re 4 months in and him and Wayne are watching the game while Steve cooks them all dinner in the kitchen. And then they’re 5 months in and Eddie realizes that Steve is maybe one of the best people he will ever be privileged to know, and oh god fuck he’s in love, he wants to mate him and pup him and spend everyday just watching the sunshine that is Steve Harrington. But the guilt sits heavy in his stomach, like he swallowed too much lake water and he’s waiting to finally throw it back up.
And Steve finds out of course. While the other boys had come around to Steve, finally seeing that he wasn’t the bad villain they had always thought him to be, Gareth had also been struggling. Realizing what a horrible suggestion it had been to begin with, learning about Steve’s home life and past relationships, he felt they had to tell him the truth. Unanimously they decide to tell Steve, all of them together. And it goes just about how you’d expect it. Steve left absolutely gutted, his omega weeps because the instincts that he followed that led him to Eddie hurt him just like everyone else had in the past. Trying to hold it together through his shame and embarrassment Steve tells them that he’s sorry. He’s sorry that he was ever the kind of person they thought deserved this. Sorry that he had hung around so much. Sorry that he was there at all. Still putting others before himself Steve tells them not to tell the pups about any of it, that he won’t be mentioning it either and they can all just move on with their lives. He won’t come around anymore, he won’t show his face when he drops off the pups, and he’ll even ask them not to mention him to them if they want him to. He even ends it with saying that maybe one day they could be friends, just friends, but that’s not right now and he needs time to even speak to any of them again after this.
After that life goes on. Steve isn’t quite the same after though. He doesn’t date at all, or mention his dreams for the future like he used to to Robin. There is no talk about his dream Alpha, (who had always sounded like a description of Eddie) or details about his fictional hoard of pups. Eventually he leaves Hawkins in tow of Robin when she leaves for Chicago; he works retail until finding his calling volunteering at an animal shelter to which he then gets his certifications as a vet tech.
It isn’t until years later that Steve comes back to Hawkins. Mrs. Henderson started developing some health issues, and there is no way he wasn’t gonna be there for her and Dustin. Dustin who still doesn’t know what happened all those years ago, none of them do. Eddie’s still in town, working as the head mechanic for thatcher tires, and he still talks to all of the pups.
Of course they end up running into each other, what else did Steve even expect. It’s hurts at first to know his heart still flutters when he sees Eddie. That even after all this time, and what he did, the omega still couldn’t help but feel that pull. They’re both in their late 20s now, Eddie a little closer to 30 every day. Both of them maturing in different ways while being apart. It doesn’t take long for them to start a tentative friendship.
A year later and Steve has settled back down into Hawkins. He works at Hawkins Animal Hospital, has a little one bedroom apartment, and he spends an unreasonable amount of time with Eddie when he isn’t at the Hendersons.
Ultimately it’s Eddie who breaks, he can’t stand them talking around the elephant in the room that is their feelings for each other. He professes that he never stopped loving Steve, that he was the first person he opened his heart to and how he would never forgive himself for hurting him the way that he did. He wants another chance and will jump through whatever hoops set out for him if it means that they can be together. Steve is floored by this confession, fully believing that he was the only one that had ever harbored any romantic feelings to begin with.
Steve despite his disbelief takes what Eddie says seriously. If he claims he will jump through hoops to prove himself, then let him. If Eddie is prepared to marry, mate, and move in with Steve right away then they will. But if not they can forget all about it and just go back to normal. Of course not even thinking about it Eddie grabs Steve, and to his surprise, immediately drives them to the courthouse.
my chest fucking hurts and i’m gonna cry about this. i love the angst and hurt so much😭 steve’s heartbreak and feeling worthless and eddie being in love but ruining it from the beginning!!!!!! delicious!!!!
also you guys know i appreciate a good “dating someone as a prank” fic since i wrote one two years ago just to hurt my own feelings😅
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leejihoonownsmyheart · 4 months
Text
Smoking and other new things (M)
Part two of the I'd Do Anything Series
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Summary: Since y/n can't tell anyone she fucked Jeonghan, she has to resort to other methods of achieving her original goal of making people see her in a different, less innocent light.
Warnings: Smoking, talk of drugs, college party- but not Jackson Wang's, skewed perceptions of 'innocence', blow job, throat fucking, dom!jeonghan, sub!yn, inexperienced!yn, creampie, rough sex, semi-public sex, light degredation, kinda mean!jeonghan, treats (don't ask), lots of saliva, minimal impact play
A.N. I just want it known that most of the experiences that y/n explores in this are experiences I TOO am unexperienced. My best friend was google, and the hits of vapes and cigarettes I took SOLELY for research on this fic. don't bully me pls </3
-
The great thing about the events of this past week was that unlike what anyone would have believed in and out of high school, you were finally not a virgin.
You had had multiple people make jokes with you that you wouldn’t have sex with anyone until you were married and even then they joked that you would wait forever after that.
Because somewhere along the line people became convinced that good kid also equaled prude.
So now, excitingly, you had physical proof that you weren’t a prude…
And you couldn’t tell anyone.
You tapped at your desk in aggravation, your finished chemistry work sitting captive beneath your hand. 
What the fuck was the point in all of this? Sure in the moment it had all made sense, because Jeonghan was hot, and you two were alone, and you had wanted to be fucked so badly. But to so easily agree to not tell anyone.
What was the point? What was the point?
It wasn’t like you had only wanted to have sex with Jeonghan to brag about it. Having sex with a specific person wasn’t a brag, but now if you were to make some broad statement about how actually I have had sex before and I also did anal, and he creampied both of my holes- I even have a safe word but I can’t tell you who it was but I mean trust me it happened no one would believe you.
It sounded like you were just making up crazier details to make it more outrageous and therefore believable.
So, so frustrating…
You considered silently what to do with your weekend. You had gotten your homework done by now, and it was a Friday night. This was the perfect chance for you to do something else to change everyone’s opinions on you, but you didn’t even know where to start.
Okay… Not true. You could just go back to square one: Drugs.
And thanks to Jeonghan, you knew just where to go.
You pulled out your phone and opened Hansol’s contact.
Hey. I need drugs.
You thought that was simple enough and within only a few minutes your phone was buzzing. You picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Y/n, what the fuck?”
You pursed your lips, and tapped your index finger against the desk.
“What?”
“You can’t just text me that you need drugs,” Hansol clarified, sounding a bit annoyed that he needed to do so. Your eyes trailed to the side.
“You sound like Jeonghan.”
“What?” Hansol replied, confusion etching his voice. You didn’t elaborate.
“What should I say to you if I want drugs if I can’t just text you?” You asked.
Hansol sighed.
“Ask me in person?”
“But-“ 
You heard noise in the background and Hansol turned away from the phone, he spoke but his voice was muffled. Jealousy shot through your chest.
“Are you at a party right now?” You blurted before you could think twice about it. Hansol was quiet for a few seconds.
“… Yes….”
You planted both of your feet firmly on the ground.
“Let me come!”
“Y/n….”
“Please, please, please,” you begged, already getting to your feet to get changed. You switched the phone onto speaker as you began to rummage through your closet.
“Y/n, it’s just…. Really not your scene,” Hansol warned.
“It can be my scene!” You insisted as you ripped your shirt off. You grabbed your phone again, turning it off speaker and smashing it against your face. “Hansol, please, I promise I won’t stand out at all. It’ll be just like I’m one of the guys.”
You physically winced at your own words, and silence followed your statement. Silence that lasted for so long that you thought that surely you had ruined your chance completely.
“... Fine.”
“Really?!”
“But y/n. You have to be…” He let out a sound of frustration. “Good? Fuck. I don’t know, but everyone will be so pissed at me if I’m the one who invited you to this party and you get hurt or some shit.”
You weren’t really listening to Hansol at this point.
“I’ll see you soon Hansol!” You insisted. “Don’t forget to text me the address.”
-
You tried not to let what Hansol had said bother you too much, because who cared if he was still sheltering you when you had actually gotten the invite? You couldn’t help the excitement that was buzzing through your body at the fact that you were finally going to be at a party.
You weren’t sure what to expect, all you did know was that any college party was going to be either exactly like the movies or nothing like them at all.
You found the address of the house easy enough, and to start off the party certainly wasn’t as out of control as you had seen in films. There weren’t people throwing beer cans out of windows, and the music couldn’t be heard from all the way down the block but it did look like there were a lot of people inside.
Outside there were a handful of people talking with red solo cups in their hands, one of them being Hansol. As soon as you got out of your Uber, he saw you and waved you over.
“Hey,” he greeted as you joined him on the steps. He glanced over your outfit, a simple crop top and some jeans. “Good outfit.”
And you could tell by his voice that he was genuinely impressed. You couldn’t help the large smile that broke out over your lips.
“Thank you!” You said brightly. You peeked around his body at the party, and just as you did Hansol raised his vape to his mouth. You watched him, your heart thumping in your chest.
Vaping. Perfectly legal, perfectly safe. You could totally vape, and people would start to see you a little differently. Hansol seemed to watch your gaze and his eyebrows furrowed.
“Do you… Do you want a hit…?” He asked uncertainly. Your eyes lit up.
“Can I?” You asked. Hansol chewed unsurely on his bottom lip.
“Do you really want to?”
You nodded eagerly and so he sighed and handed it to you. You took the small piece of plastic and pressed it to your lips, but your hesitation was evident. Hansol sighed, that nervous expression still on his face.
“You have to slowly inhale the vapour, hold it in your mouth for just a second, and then open your mouth, breath in the vapour and exhale,” Hansol instructed. You nodded, trying to follow his instructions but when you tried to finally breathe in the vapour, you started to cough. Hansol took the vape from your fingers.
“It takes practice,” he said, but he looked more nervous than you felt. “Do you want a drink?”
He led you into the party, weaving through the groups of people. There were people playing beer pong, others standing around talking, some people were grinding on each other on the dance floor. What you knew for sure was that everyone was drunk.
You needed to get drunk.
Hansol walked right past the bowl of some sort of punch that was on a flimsy collapsable table and instead led you over to the fridge where he pulled out an unopened bottle of Corona beer. You pouted and pointed at the punch bowl.
“Solo cup,” you whined. He gave you another nervous look and instead, held the bottle out towards you more firmly.
“Unopened,” he pressed. You sighed, and decided to just take whatever alcohol you could get. Maybe you would try the punch later when Hansol wasn’t hovering over your shoulder as if he were your babysitter.
Your eyes trailed over the people at the party, trying to figure out who you knew, and who you could try to talk to. Before you could really take in your surroundings, a hand came to your back, and you jumped in surprise.
“Well, is that little y/nnie or are my eyes deceiving me?” The person bellowed. He placed both of his hands on your shoulders, forcing you to look at him. His lips curled up into a smile. “It is.”
You sucked in a small breath.
“Seobin?”
He grinned lazily.
“The one and only.”
Seobin was one of the boys that you knew from your time in high school. It may have been a while but you would recognize him on sight. (Considering he had been one of the more popular boys in school.) Seobin had never even talked to you before, and he certainly had never been this close to you.
Heat rose to your cheeks, and you knocked his hands off your shoulders, which he shrugged off like it had been his decision in the first place. He patted your head like you were a dog and looked over at Hansol.
“What’s little Miss Perfect doing here?” He asked, as if you weren’t standing right there. Hansol shrugged, still looking wildly uncomfortable.
“Y/n wanted to come,” Hansol shrugged.
“OoOoh,” Seobin said excitedly. He turned back to look at you.
“Looking for some way to change the way people think about you?” Seobin cooed lightly. You pressed your lips together in thought. “Looking for someone to make you seem, less pure?”
Your thoughts drifted to Jeonghan, and your eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“I already have someone to make me less pure,” you mumbled softly. “Don’t need you to make me seem it.”
Seobin laughed in surprise at your brazeness and he clapped his hand on your shoulder, and tightened his grip so that you were still in place. He leaned forward, his nose nearly brushing yours.
“You’re telling me you’re not a virgin anymore?”
Your face burned as Seobin got knocked off of you.
“Fuck off,” Hansol bit out. “Stop messing with her.” 
Seobin shrugged off Hansol.
“I’m not messing with her,” he grumbled. He looked at you. “Am I messing with you?”
You pursed your lips.
“I’m not a virgin,” you said, sounding like a whiney kid. Both Hansol and Seobin stared at you, before finally Seobin burst out in a loud obnoxious laugh.
“I need a fucking cigarette.”
You watched as Seobin dug his hand into his pocket, pulling out a small white box.
You stared at the box in Seobin’s hand, your heart thumping in your chest.
“I’ll just be a second,” he commented. He raised his free hand to pat your cheek condescendingly. “Why don’t you wait here for me huh?”
Your face burned.
“What? You don’t think that I can smoke?” You blurted, before remembering that you were supposed to be keeping your cool. Regardless, Seobin laughed.
“Can you smoke?” He asked.
“Well….” Your foot tapped against the ground in frustration. “I can certainly learn.”
Seobin’s eyebrows rose in amusement, and Hansol grabbed you by your forearm.
“Y/n,” he hissed, pulling you towards him a bit. “What… What are you doing?”
You shrugged.
“I’m going to learn to smoke a cigarette.”
Hansol looked pained.
“Why?”
You shrugged.
“Why not?”
He bit down on his bottom lip nervously and you took that as your opportunity to shake him off and follow Seobin out of the party. Once you two were out in the cool air, Seobin led you so that your back was on the wall of the house. He pulled out a cigarette and gave it to you.
You took it nervously in your hands, noting that it was a bit… Squishier..? Than you thought it would be.
Seobin poked his cigarette into his mouth, clicking his lighter to light the end of his cigarette. He took a small puff and then sighed, gesturing to you. 
“Put it in your mouth,” he said pointedly. Your eyes widened a bit and you did as he asked. Seobin grinned.
“How obedient. Maybe you aren’t a virgin.”
Your face burned but as it did Seobin leaned forward and flicked his lighter on again, lighting the end of the cigarette. He put the lighter back in his pocket. He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth briefly.
“Breathe into your mouth, down into your throat, and then exhale.”
You nodded, your eyebrows furrowing as you breathed in. You didn’t really feel like any smoke was entering your mouth. You kind of liked the texture of the cigarette between your lips. 
Your eyes squinted at Seobin who had decided to pin you against the wall with one hand while he smoked with the other, watching you in amusement. You tried to breathe in again, and this time it hit your throat.
You burst into a coughing fit, which made Seobin laugh at you. He plucked the cigarette out of your mouth and grinned at you.
“Are you sure you can smoke?”
You glared at Seobin and he stuck the cigarette in his mouth. He stared at you, his arms crossed over his chest.
“You know, you’re actually really pretty.”
Color flared to your cheeks at the comment.
“If you really are still a virgin and looking to lose that status…”
Oh my god, was this really all it took? To head to a party, and drink a little beer, and badly smoke a cigarette and then all of a sudden Seobin would want to fuck you. You couldn’t believe it. How easy this would have been if you had just cut out the middle man and come straight here.
“I…” You trailed off and Seobin took a step forward. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke in your face. You turned your head to cough and as you did, his fingers came into your hair, and he led your gaze back to his.
“I can make you choke on a lot of things y/n.”
Your face burned red and you shook your head quickly, your mind flashing to that of Jeonghan. The fast image of his eyes flashing in your mind had you lightly pushing at Seobin’s chest.
“I-I think I’ve choked enough tonight,” you said with a nervous laugh. Seobin’s eyes were still lingering on your lips- Oh my god you really were hot.
“Shame,” Seobin finally said. His eyes flickered back up to yours.
“But if you change your mind.”
If you changed your mind you could just call Seobin.
What a crazy thing to think. That you had options.
You stayed outside for a bit longer, begging Seobin to let you try and smoke again. He gave you the cigarette after you begged a little bit, and you got more used to it after half an hour. You didn’t like it, but you did get used to it.
After you went back inside you drank some more, and Hansol started to finally loosen up a bit, less worried about you as you melded in with the crowd of people.
And by the time you got home that night, drunk and tired, you finally felt like you were actually starting to fit in.
-
Somehow you had managed to get yourself invited to a study session with Hansol and his friends on one of the higher floors of the library in their own study room. After hours of studying and talking, Hansol started to pack up his things and he looked across the room at you.
"If you really want..." Hansol's voice was a bit hesitant as his fingers clutched around the small dark vape cartridge in his hand. "We were all going to get high and watch Finding Nemo."
He shrugged off-handedly as if it was something so mundane to him he couldn't imagine you wanting to do it. And that hesitation made sense because to him, this was mundane. You had heard him and Irene making these plans around you a million times and yet you had never gotten an invite.
But today you had somehow managed to get one.
You tried not to come off as too excited.
"Sure, it's been a while since I've seen Finding Nemo."
Hansol nodded, a smile flickering across his lips as he turned over his shoulder, back toward the room that you two had just come from. You followed him, both of you sticking your heads back through the doorway.
"Y/n and I are headed out," he announced. You sent a timid smile Seungcheol's way, and as you did you turned around, excited to follow Hansol off but instead of following you ended up colliding.
You glanced up, squinting to figure out who was staring down at you with an incredulous expression on his face.
You immediately straightened up, pressing your lips into a tight thin line.
"Oh, Jeonghan, you just missed us," Hansol commented. Jeonghan's eyes flicked over to Hansol's for only a second.
"Us?"
"We're meeting up with Irene, Mark, Eunbi, and Yerin," Hansol elaborated and he so clearly didn't see the expression on Jeonghan's face that you did.
You looked away from Jeonghan, and instead found a spot on the floor, wondering why you felt like a child who had just gotten caught at a party by their parents.
"Y/n's going with you?" He asked. Hansol hummed.
"Not as innocent as we thought I guess," Hansol commented. "Asked for a hit of my vape."
"Yeah?"
His gaze was practically burning into you.
"And you were telling me about that party you went to last-"
Your eyes widened and you darted forward, your hand covering Hansol's mouth before you could consider the repercussions for your actions. Hansol stared at you in confusion, and you forced a laugh, letting your hand slide down to his shoulder.
"Can't tell everyone about the party."
"Considering that Seobin taught you how to smoke a cigarette I would think you would be ecstatic to tell everyone about the party."
There was dead silence between you three, in fact, you weren't even breathing.
"You know, considering the fact you're trying to make people see you more seriously."
Why did Hansol feel the need to double back on that? Why did that just make everything worse?
"You know what? That does make me see y/n in a different light."
You risked a glance up at Jeonghan, who had a scarily calm expression on his face.
"Why don't I walk y/n to Irene's? Didn't Soonyoung have some project he needed to talk to you about?" Jeonghan asked, directing his attention fully to Hansol. Hansol's eyebrows furrowed and he looked down at his hands.
"Shit, you're right."
As he thought over Jeonghan's proposition his hand raised to his face, and the light on his vape lit up, the artificial smoke drifting out of his mouth after only a moment.
"Y/n, Jeonghan can get you there. I'll be there in just a few moments."
He held out his vape just the same way that he had a few minutes ago, expecting you to take another hit. You decided not to overthink it. You grabbed the vape, breathed in too fast, and a cool and sharp bit of air and smoke hit the back of your throat. You coughed out in surprise but mostly kept the sudden reaction concealed.
Hansol smiled.
"You're getting used to it. I'll see you in a second."
And then he was rushing off, leaving you all alone with Jeonghan at your side.
It wasn't like you were doing anything wrong. You weren't doing anything that anyone your age had told you not to. You were just trying new things, and hanging out with new people and... Making everyone think differently of you.
Now that Hansol thought you were willing to try all of these new things he was looking at you differently. No longer that smile that haunted you when people asked you if you wanted to smoke with them out of convention. The look in their eyes that said that they knew you were going to turn down the offer, and that look that screamed to you that they looked at you as more of a perfect porcelain doll than a human.
And yet, looking away from Hansol's expression, the way that said that he finally thought you were normal, you turned and looked to Jeonghan's and you saw something else.
He didn't seem to see you as normal necessarily, and there was disappointment, but that wasn't everything that was there... He didn't look at you like you had suddenly changed into something that ruined his perception of you... What was that look in his eyes?
"Cigarettes?" He asked you after a few moments. You stared at him and nodded. "How long were you at that party?"
Your hand raised subconsciously to the eyeliner you hadn't completely scrubbed from off your undereyes. He huffed.
"And you're vaping now too?"
All things that you knew your parents would shame you for, and you felt shame. You felt like you had disappointed Jeonghan, but... Not the way that you felt like you should feel.
"You want me to teach you something today?" Jeonghan asked you. He closed the distance between you two, and dug his fingers into the roots of your hair. "Something like what I taught you the last time we were alone?"
Your breath hitched.
"Yes sir," you barely managed to get out, because as soon as the confirmation was out of your lips Jeonghan's lips were smashing into yours. Your hands quickly fell to his arm for purchase, your eyes smashed shut as every part of you forgot how to think.
You didn't even realize that you were desperately trying to press yourself into the kiss until Jeonghan had pulled away and you realized you were on the tips of your toes.
You stared at him, chest heaving, ready to be obedient for him.
"Today you're going to learn how to be quiet."
Jeonghan shoved you towards a closet and smashed the two of you inside of it. He then dug his fingers into your hair again and forced you down to your knees.
"Today you're going to learn how to suck dick."
You felt your mouth growing wetter as you stared up at Jeonghan, the dim light of the closet framing the dark look in his eyes.
"And today you're going to learn how to hide when you've done something naughty."
You swallowed hard, nodding stupidly as Jeonghan released your hair. He began to undo his belt, the metal clattering loudly.
“Have you told anyone about us?” He asked, and to punctuate the question he snapped his belt. You jumped at the loud crack, watching as he tossed it to the side. You shook your head in negation to his statement.
Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed as he unzipped his pants.
“Use your words y/n,” he said simply.
“I-I haven’t told anyone,” you managed to get out. A smile flickered over Jeonghan’s lips.
“Good girl,” he cooed. Your face burned under the attention and Jeonghan’s hands wrapped around the base of his cock, drawing your eyes back to it.
Already the thing was standing hard and heavy in front of you, the tip of his cock only a few inches from your face.
“You’ve never sucked cock before?” Jeonghan confirmed. You shook your head slowly, your eyes not leaving the length of his cock. That had been inside of you. Not long ago, Jeonghan had been fucking you with that and you had taken it (as far as you were aware) like a fucking champ. You could hardly believe it.
Jeonghan suddenly tapped the tip of his cock to your lips.
“Pay attention,” he mumbled. Your eyes flickered back up to his, an apologetic expression crossing your face.
“Giving head is easy,” Jeonghan finally said, he gave his cock a few strokes as he spoke. “Keep your teeth off of my dick, and focus on taking me as far into your mouth as your comfortable with.”
He eyed you for a moment.
“Why don’t you touch it a little first? Get comfortable.”
The way that Jeonghan was talking to you about sucking his dick was absolutely humiliating. Like you were a kid trying to ride a bike for the first time. Still, you did as you were told. You tentatively wrapped your hands around his cock, staring at the tip as you gave it a hesitant pump.
You looked at Jeonghan for approval which he gave with a small nod.
“The head of the cock is the most sensitive part of it,” Jeonghan said, his breath catching a little as the comment made you immediately swipe your thumb over his tip. You felt a little proud to have made him react like that, so after another pump you did it again.
He readjusted the way he was standing.
“Lick it,” he instructed softly, and his fingers came to rest in your hair again. “Just a bit, get me wet with your tongue.”
You nodded slowly, and tilted his cock up a little so that you could give his cock a very small lick. It felt a little awkward, but you still licked again, and again, deciding to treat it like it was icecream.
You didn’t think that the very minimal stimulation would be good at all, but as you started to lick up the base of his cock, Jeonghan’s fingers tightened a bit in your hair. His mouth let out soft little pants as you licked across the expanse of his dick, before you finally grew a bit impatient. You licked the tip of his cock, your tongue pressing against his slit. He let out a barely contained groan, and so you sucked the tip of his cock into your mouth.
His fingers gripped at your hair, but you still sucked at his tip, the saltiness of his precum spreading over your tongue.
“Deeper,” Jeonghan grunted out.
You glanced up at him, but his eyes were closed. You slowly began to work more of him into your mouth, but you only had a little bit more of him in your mouth when you stopped, your mouth already feeling full around him.
“Is that it?” Jeonghan bit out impatiently. Your face heated up even more and you tried to suck more of his cock into your mouth, but you ended up choking on it. You pulled off of him completely, little tears sprouting in the corners of your eyes as you coughed.
You hadn’t really imagined that sucking cock would be this hard.
Jeonghan sighed and the grip he had on your hair loosened, his hand sliding down your cheek so that his thumb could rub you just under your chin.
“It’s a process…” He said softly. You caught your breath and nodded, before raising your head a little bit to look back up at him.
“How many girls have given you head?” You asked. The question clearly caught him off guard, his fingers left your face.
“Well, that’s a bit personal-”
“I’m going to do it better,” you mumbled softly. You dragged the tip of his cock back to your lips and you closed your eyes as you slowly worked more of him into your mouth. You decided to do it more like you had seen in porn videos. You eased his cock into your mouth, and worked it in and out as you slowly made your way further down on hin.
“Just take it slow,” Jeonghan encouraged you, his hand was on you again, his thumb rubbing your jaw. You closed your eyes tightly and pushed his cock deeper into your mouth. You got a bit deeper than you had the first time before you started to gag again but this time you tried to push through it.
You forced more of him down your throat.
“Don’t push it too hard,” Jeonghan warned. You ignored him, and choked harder around his cock, saliva dipping down your chin. Jeonghan’s hand came back to your hair and he tightly pulled you off of him. You coughed again, gasping.
“I said don’t push too hard,” Jeonghan reasserted. You groaned, your head tilting a little bit.
“I just…” You trailed off as you caught your breath.
“Sweetheart-” For some reason, the nickname made your face burn. “What you are trying to do, isn’t a blow job. You know why your choking? Because you’re taking my dick down your throat.”
Your face blazed.
“Well, that feels better than just a blow job, right?” You asked hesitantly. Jeonghan’s lips flickered into a smile.
“Immensely,” he agreed, and then his face morphed into something more serious. “But you’re a beginner. And deep throating is an expert move-”
“Just give me advice on how to choke less,” you blurted out, not interested in hearing Jeonghan tell you that you were worse at sucking his dick than everyone else before you. He raised an unamused eyebrow at the interruption. “Please?”
“Breathe through your nose,” Jeonghan mumbled back. “If you’re so insistent.”
You nodded, and sucked in a deep breath before leaning forward again. You sucked him back into your mouth, and like before you eased it slowly deeper and deeper into your mouth. Once it was pushing into your throat you were beginning to gag again, but you tried to do what Jeonghan had suggested and just breathe through your nose.
He was yanking you off of his cock again and you fought to catch your breath, spit dripping down your chin.
“You’re doing fine,” Jeonghan mumbled reassuringly. You swallowed some of the spit in your mouth and looked up at him.
“Does it feel good at least?”
He stared at you in confusion.
“What?”
“When I choke on your dick.”
A strange looked flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and he leaned down towards you. His lips quirked up in a small smile and his thumb pushed into your mouth suddenly. You weren’t sure why, but you sucked on the finger regardless.
“It feels amazing when you choke on my cock,” he mumbled softly. “And I would like nothing more than to fuck that little throat as hard and deep as I want to… Holding back is… Difficult.”
Your face darkened a little and you stared up at him, your eyes wide, the question in them hopefully going unsaid-
“You want me to?” Jeonghan asked, amusement etched in his voice. “You want me to fuck your throat like I’m some kind of animal?”
Embarrassment swirled through your chest, and your pussy burned at the way Jeonghan said it. You nodded once.
“You’ve got to beg me for it, y/n,” Jeonghan chided lightly. “I want to hear you begging for me to fuck your little virgin throat.”
Your eyes fluttered shut in embarrassment.
“Please…” You whispered.
“Please what?”
Jeonghan’s thumb prodded at your chin, rubbing your saliva onto it.
“Please fuck my throat…”
Jeonghan’s hum of approval sent arousal thrumming through your body.
“Now that’s a good girl.”
His fingers grasped both sides of your face and he tapped your cheek to make you open your eyes back up.
“Pinch my thigh to stop,” he ordered. You nodded once.
“O-okay..” You mumbled. Jeonghan grinned, and then he was easing his cock down your throat.
At first, he was being careful. He slowly eased his cock into your mouth, his fingers digging into your face as he tried not to force himself too deep too fast. His moans stuttered as he eased himself in and out of your mouth, his breathing strangled.
But the second his cock dipped too far into your throat and you choked, he was losing control.
He forced his cock so deep into your throat, you felt like you were breathing him in. You gagged around his cock, but just as he was pulling out, he was pushing in just as deep and hard. You focused on keeping your teeth out of the way at first, but the more he fucked your mouth, your eyes fluttered shut as you breathed as carefully as you could through your nose…
His moans sent heat right down to your core. Your whole body ached with the need to be touched as he fucked your throat like he needed to do so to live.
You couldn’t believe the sounds he was making. Couldn’t believe that even though saliva was dripping down your chin and you were choking he was still using you like you were some kind of toy.
Out of nowhere, Jeonghan pulled himself out of your mouth.
“Are you ready for me?” You gasped for air, your eyebrows strewn in confusion. Ready for what?
Jeonghan rolled his eyes, frustrated.
“You better be fucking opening yourself up for me,” Jeonghan elaborated. Because your mouth is hot…” He began to slide down towards you. “And tight…” He took your free hand, shoving it into your panties. “And so so pretty…” His lips pressed to yours. “Especially stretched around my cock.”
He smiled, and tapped your face with his hand. Not quite sharp enough to be considered a slap.
“But I want to fuck that pretty pussy, and i expect you to be ready for it.”
He stood back up, towering over you again.
“It’s not my job to make sure you’re open enough for my cock.”
A shiver ran through your body, at both the insuation that he would fuck you- stretched out enough for his cock or not- and at the excitement that he was going to fuck you again. Here?!
Your rice purity score was changing rapidly.
You tried to push two fingers into your pussy, but it was a bit of a struggle, so you focused on just the one for the moment.
Jeonghan tapped the tip of his cock to your lips again and you opened your mouth obediently. He took you by the roots of your hair and pushed his cock down your throat. Your fingers stilled inside you as you coughed around his cock, but he mostly ignored it. 
Besides, you still had one of your hands free, and rested on his thigh. An easy cop out if you needed it.
As you tried to focus on your breathing you also tried to refocus on fingering yourself again. This time you managed two fingers into yourself and you started to scissor those two in and out of your pussy.
Even if you were just at home on your own with one of your dildos you would be rushing this. Honestly, you’d probably get impatient right away and just start to force the dildo into you as is, but since you couldn’t control the timing of your current situation, you focused on your fingers.
Jeonghan pressed your head against the wall so he could fuck your mouth better, but he paused for a moment, reaching down so that he could lift up the corners of your skirt. He saw your hand stuffed in your underwear and a curse mixed with a moan left his lips. He pulled you up by your hair.
“Panties off,” he instructed you. “Want to see that little pussy dripping all over the floor.”
You immediately  struggled to step out of your underwear, and once you did you were back in an awkward squat, your back and head against the wall as you fingered yourself and Jeonghan fucked your throat.
Every now and then, Jeonghan would reach down and pull the hem of your skirt up so that he could watch your fingering and the way that your own spit was dripping down your chin onto your shirt, but you secretly thought it was an excuse to let you breathe.
After a while though, Jeonghan couldn’t keep up the pattern. He yanked you up by your hair, and shoved you into one of the shelves against the wall. Your cheek pressed into old wood, your hands knocking over some books.
“What’s your safe word?” He asked you, as if that’s what you were thinking about when the tip of his cock was sliding in your folds. And to make all matters worse he had you mangled in such a way that moving was impossible, with one hand knotted into your hair.
You squirmed a bit, and Jeonghan’s tip slipped into your pussy, only to be immediately drawn out. A sound of frustration you didn’t even realize you knew how to make was forcibly ripped from your throat, and Jeonghan pulled you back by your hair.
“Your safe word.”
Right. You blurted out your safe word, your fingers finding purchase on the shelf just in time for Jeonghan to sink himself inside of you.
Your fingers clenched tightly at the stretch, grateful that Jeonghan had given you so much time earlier to stretch yourself out.  Jeonghan shifted his hands so that he was pressing his palm into your back, pushing you down hard.
“Oh aren’t you so good for me?” Jeonghan pressed lightly. His hand left your back for only a second, and just as you straightened up his hand was smacking your ass.
You cried out in surprise, the hit sending warmth through your body.
“Don’t fucking move,” Jeonghan growled. His hand pushed down your back again hard, forcing your ass out more. “If I put you in a position you don’t fucking move.”
You whimpered back your response and this time when he pulled his hand away from you, you stayed in position. Even so, he smacked your ass again, and you cried out as he began to set a hard and fast pace of fucking you.
“That’s better,” he praised lightly. His hand brushed your hair off of his neck so it was more exposed to him, and then his hand was pressing down on it, pressing you harder into the shelf. “You’re starting to learn to take dick so well…”
As he spoke he pummeled his cock into your pussy. You let your forehead hit the shelf as you raised a hand to your mouth, trying to muffle your screams as he pushed so deep inside of you that you thought you were going to break- No amount of stretching yourself out on your fingers could prepare you for how deep his cock was pushing inside of you.
“That’s right,” Jeonghan cooed, forcing his cock even harder into you, so hard the shelves shook around you. “Better keep quiet. Don’t want anyone to hear…”
He laughed at his own words.
“Well, you do want people to hear don’t you? You would love for someone to find out that you let me rail you in a closet wouldn’t you?”
You whimpered, your eyes closing firmly shut as you tried to ignore him, tried to focus on keeping your voice down.
“You know, your hovering dangerously far into slut territory.”
You squeezed around his cock, crying out as the simple use of the word made a moan rip out of you.
“Oh fuck, I can’t handle it when you squeeze my cock like that,” Jeonghan groaned, his voice rising in pitch as his fingers dug into your hips, holding you still so he could fuck you even harder.
“You know what else makes you squeeze my cock like that?”
He smacked your ass, and as the pain shot through your body, just as he said, your pussy clenched around his cock. He moaned loudly.
“I’m going to fuck you so full of my cum…” He moaned. “Beg for it y/n…”
You knew that if you let your hand leave your mouth you would be screaming for Jeonghan to fuck you harder, but it seemed Jeonghan didn’t care about that because in the few seconds you were considering your options his hand was striking even harder on your ass.
“I said beg.”
“Please-” You blurted out, trying to keep your voice to a steady level, but your whole body was bouncing on his cock. Your heart was thumping in your chest, your own orgasm was rapidly approaching.”
“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, Jeonghan please come inside of me,” you begged. “Need it deep… Need to feel you for days… Need to-”
Jeonghan’s cock twitched inside of you and he forced his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them hard as a way to keep yourself from screaming as thick ropes of hot cum shot out, deep into your pussy. You came around his cock almost instantly, your pussy milking him of every drop of cum. He gave you a few hard and deep thrust before finally pulling his fingers and cock out of you.
You gasped as you tried to keep your grip on the shelf, your legs shaking as you tried to get yourself together. But, you finally gave up on that and let yourself lower to the floor, your back hitting the wall as your pussy dripped cum. You did your best to try and catch your breath, silence falling between the two of you.
Jeonghan dug into his pocket, and, unbelievably enough pulled out a chocolate bar. You panted where you were now slumped against the ground and stared at him as he unwrapped it a little, breaking off one of the pieces.
“Open,” he said firmly.
You wouldn’t have argued with him no matter the situation. You opened your mouth and let him put the candy in your mouth. He watched you in silence for a little, waiting for you to finish eating that piece of candy before putting another piece in your mouth.
“Y/n…” His tone was scary.
“What?” You asked him.
“Why are you…” He trailed off, sounding a bit frustrated. “It’s just…” He was struggling greatly with what to say. “You’re an adult.”
Your eyebrows furrowed a bit.
“I’m an adult,” you agreed. He stared at you, broke off another piece of candy and put it in your mouth.
“And all of your friends are now adults,” he continued. “And adults, aren’t bothered with superficial things. They care about a person for… That person.”
You stared at him, and opened your mouth, only to be silenced with another piece of candy.
“Cigarettes are bad for you,” Jeonghan said quickly. Your wide-eyed expression dropped to one of dread, and just as you went to argue with him, he covered your mouth with the palm of his hand. “And you shouldn’t be vaping just so Hansol thinks you’re cool!”
You glared at Jeonghan.
“You don’t need to change anyone’s opinion on you,” Jeonghan said weakly. “You could… You could do anything and people are still going to treat you the same.”
You pinched Jeonghan’s wrist, and he gave you a more pointed look.
“I’m serious.”
You pinched him again and his hand fell to his side.
“Hansol invited me to a party Jeonghan,” you said. You shifted so that you were sitting more upright. “And then Seobin taught me how to smoke and he almost kissed me- And he’d never even looked at me in high school.” You waved your hand through the air. “And today Hansol called me cool.”
“Hansol thought you were cool before,” Jeonghan said. “He only said that to me because he thinks I don’t think you’re cool.”
Your ears perked up at that. Did Jeonghan think you were cool?
“And you don’t want someone like Seobin to kiss you,” he sounded disgusted. “If you wanted someone like Hansol, or Hyuk to kiss you I would get it but not someone like Seobin.”
“Jeonghan I don’t care who wants to kiss me. I just want someone to kiss me.”
The serious expression on his face cracked a little, his lips up-quirked.
“Well, I know someone who could do that for you,” he said, his voice dropping a bit. A smile spread across your lips too, but it seemed to remind Jeonghan of what he had been trying to say. “You don’t need to do all these new things if you are just trying to change people’s perception of you.”
“People don’t take me seriously Jeonghan,” you argued back. This time, growing frustrated of the fact that you had just let him rail you just so that he could lecture you after. You got to your feet, and began to put your clothes back on. Jeonghan just watched you from where he was crouched. “No one takes me seriously.”
“I take you seriously,” Jeonghan replied back firmly. You eyed him.
“You didn’t take me seriously until I demanded you sell me drugs.”
Something flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and he got up in a flash.
“That’s not true.”
His tone was stern, but as soon as he was standing he seemed to notice something on your face. He sighed his frustration and reached forward, his thumb brushing over your cheeks, just by the corner of your lips.
“If you think that someone will only like you because you do drugs and let them fuck you anywhere you shouldn’t be friends with them.”
You stared at Jeonghan blankly.
“Do whatever you want y/n,” Jeonghan said after a moment’s pause. “But your friends. Your real ones, they don’t like it. I would be saying this to anyone. Take it from the black sheep. Don’t do anything that will get you hurt.”
He tugged at your shirt so that it fell right on your body, and then he opened the closet door.
“But keep in mind that you have a lot of people who are willing to catch you if you fall.”
He peeked around outside of the closet and then fully stepped out. He gestured for you to follow, and you did. He gave you one more look.
“You haven’t been offering yourself up to people for drugs have you?”
You shook your head wordlessly. He let out a sigh of relief.
“My number is still the same.”
And with that he waved his hand over his shoulder and walked away.
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starkeygirlposts · 3 months
Text
Goosebumps in my sleeve
CH. 1
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So glad you guys loved the snippet last night! Here is the full fic! This is going to probably be a 2-3 chapter story. I hope it lives up to your expectations! Please interact and let me know!
Summary: You've been dating Rafe Cameron for 3 years, and one day Ward and your mom tell you they're getting married.
*In this story, Rafe kills Peterkin after accidentally shooting Sarah
Pairings: Rafe Cameron x fem!reader, toxic!rafe x reader
Trigger warnings: stepcest, underage, drugs, pregnancy, noncon, swearing, pregnancy, mentions of abortion, p in v sex, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, domestic violence, underage
Playlist:
Braided by Emily Rowed
Highlights by Sasha Alex Sloan
Atlantis by Seafret
Upside of Down by SVRCINA
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You'd had a mundane life until your dads affair came to light when you were sixteen years old. He'd met a women on a business trip flight, explaining it as a "connection he didn't have with Y/M/N." He'd explained his infidelities away by saying your mom paid him little attention, embarrassed him in front of their friends, belittled him, and said the love between them ceased to exist; solely because of your mom.
It wasn't like you knew the ins and outs of your parents love life as a teenager, but what you saw - or what they chose to show you, didn't seem like what your dad made it out to be. But there are always 3 sides to every story, so who were you to judge?
Especially when you'd ignored all the warnings you'd been given to stay clear from Rafe Cameron, much less date him. He was a senior and you were a freshman and people already had enough to say about that.
You'd began attending parties at his house during your freshman year of high school, and the playful flirtation between the two of you continued for a year before he finally made a move that the two of you couldn't come back from.
He was on the lookout for you every Friday or Saturday night, always a prepared favorite drink of yours ready in a red solo cup. He'd follow you around his house if not with his feet, with his eyes until one day his fingertips grazed your arm and draped down to your finger and tangled them together, showing to not only you, but everyone else around you that it was game over.
He'd taken you up to his room that same night and he ground his hips so deeply into yours that you were sure you lost your virginity that night. After telling your friends, who'd only laughed at your naivety, you realized you very much did not, and then you truly realized when the next Saturday night, he'd taken you to his room and peeled the clothing from both of your bodies and you'd connected as one. The way his fingers caressed your cheeks, your hair, your body, it was the biggest question in your mind why anyone would think Rafe Cameron was any bit the bad boy they had all made him out to be.
Talking about how quick to temper he was, how hot headed, how impulsive, how vulgar.
You had never witnessed any of that in your three years together. Whether he'd kept you at arms length or whether all it took was you coming into his life to change him, you weren't sure.
But today, Rafe Cameron who became your boyfriend when you were sixteen years old was not the Rafe Cameron who people referred to your step-brother at eighteen.
The complete opposite, really.
Rafe had always gone out of his way to be the sweetest, most thoughtful boyfriend you could have wished for. Stealing kisses in the hallways before the bell would ring, making sure you were safely seated before padding off to be late to each and every period.
Bringing you flowers every Sunday night with your favorite pint of ice cream, and always keeping your bedside table stocked with your favorite genre books and your favorite sour candies.
Keeping his arm draped protectively over you at parties, tender kisses to your forehead when things got too rowdy, whisking you away for alone time as the crowd started to clear.
Caressing your body affectionately during intimacy, squeezing your skin just enough to leave gentle love marks, keeping you in his arms after bringing you over the edge, asking you if you were okay after every entrance, and after being too rough when he was extra needy.
Kissing you like he'd never see you again, holding your jaw in his palm and telling you how much he loved his beautiful girl.
There was no end in sight for the two of you, and after spending so much time together, your mom had asked to meet his dad. You didn't think any more of it than her wanting to know the man whose home you spent more than half of your days at. Your mom had become extra clingy after the divorce, and you tried to do what you could. Asking her if she wanted to watch her favorite show together on Tuesday nights, bringing home her favorite Chinese food on your way back from Rafe's on earlier nights. You knew the affair nearly killed your mom, but you did not expect her to begin to lean on none other than your boyfriends dad.
Ward was the perfect fill-in for your mom for a while. She was just having a good time, she'd told you. "He occupies my mind Y/N, does that make me such a bad mom?" Like you being upset with your mother being however which way involved with your boyfriends dad was so out-of-this-world believable. Truth was, yes it made her a bad mom. Not just because it put you and Rafe in an uncomfortable position, but because you were struggling yourself after having your family as you knew it blown apart.
But she wasn't just "having a good time." Or rather, maybe she was having too good a time. Because on a Thursday evening at the Cameron's dinner table with Ward, your mom, Rafe, Sarah and Weezie, Ward held your moms hand and told you all that they were getting married.
You think your heart stopped at his words, and your neck snapped to your side to look at Rafe before doing or saying anything to anyone else. His eyes flashed to yours, and above your head, connecting with his father's in an expression you could only imagine was pure hatred. Because Rafe could never live up to his father in any sense, and now he was taking away the one thing that kept his feet planted to the earth. Of course he was.
That day, your world fell apart, and Rafe started to become someone you soon would not recognize. Rafe's hand had slipped from your thigh, gone the tender loving warm fingertips, drawing lazy hearts on your skin.
Your whole body jolted when Rafe's chair scraped like nails on the tile flooring, as he darted from the table outside to his truck, leaving you to pick up the pieces. How badly you'd wanted to chase after him. But when your eyes connected with Ward's, the decision was already made for you.
You didn't even need to ask.
"Unless you want to live with your father in California, you and Rafe will stop whatever it is you two have going on." Ward had told you.
"Whatever we have going on? We've been dating for three years!" You practically shout.
"Y/N!" Your mother shrieks, "Have some respect!" And you can see the tears shining in her eyes, a mirror of your own. Ward'd hand squeezes your mother's tighter, and he whispers to her that "it's okay, honey, it's going to take a moment to process."
You looked to your mom as if she'd help you - feel some semblance of remorse for you. Tears were streaking down your face now, your finger gripped to your napkin on your lap like you were suffocating it. You'd met Rafe first. Three years ago. You'd been the only reason your mother even met Ward. But why should you be so surprised that what she wanted was more important than your happiness?
From that day on, Rafe started slowly slipping from you. You'd told him what Ward had told you, expecting him to scoff and tell you how he only thought he'd stay away from you. But that was exactly what Rafe began to do. Once you received the news, you and your mom were moving into Tanney Hill, your bedroom just across the hall from Rafe's. A bitter tease dangling in front of you. The love of your life, your best friend, your saving grace, so close but so far, sworn away from you.
Rafe started to become a hollow shell of the boy you loved so deeply and painfully. Loving him so hard physically caused your heart to ache, watching him from a distance fall away from you, and out of love with you felt like your body slowly shutting down. Like your brain was shutting off and the rest of your organs being deprived of the oxygen it needed to keep functioning. Your hands ached to touch his body, hold his hand in your own. You watched as he'd drink himself to sleep every Friday and Saturday night, seated on the living room sofa 90% of the night with Topper and Kielce, using his AMEX black card to line the cocaine before rolling up a hundred dollar bill and snorting into his left nostril, jolting his head back and pinching his nostrils as his eyes screwed closed, before opening back up and meeting yours.
You'd hold his stare until your feet walked you in front of him with your hands on your hips, brushing the beers to the floor and bending down to meet your eyes at the same level.
"Y/N, you want me to stop? What, to make you happy? What do you do anymore that makes me happy?" You'd touch his cheek and guide his head down to make his eyes meet yours, and you'd stare into them - hoping for a shimmer of your boyfriend to snap back and remember.
He'd shrug away from you, his shoulder harshly snapping back and his hand brushing yours off to leave you watching his hair fall over his eyes as he'd resume slowly killing not only himself, but you too. But this brutal coldness didn't stop him from sneaking into your room past midnight to have sex with you. Not that you wish he'd stop, because you so badly craved his touch, eager for it any way he'd offer it. Mean, rough, kind, tender; you'd take any of him just to feel connected.
He'd almost always wait by your closed door for you to sit up in your bed, his invitation that it was okay to come to you. But some nights, he'd be so impatient to touch you, the alcohol and drugs adding to his hunger to be close to you.
You had almost gotten caught a handful of times, whether it be Sarah or your mom, knocking because they were sure they’d heard something, Rafe nearly knocking over everything on his way to shuffle himself into the closet.
You’d put off the conversation with Rafe about why the two of you needed to continue on like this, but you knew Rafe would never willingly disobey his father, and when you told him that Ward had threatened to ship you off to California, Rafe told you there was no way that was happening. But this was before the drugs consumed all of his extra time, before he’d started picking fights with anyone who would dare to fight back, before he’d become a ticking time bomb. Now, you weren’t sure he’d care if you fell off the planet. Gone were the times he’d tell you how much he loved you, how beautiful you were, how he didn’t care about what his dad said, that you were his girl, and he’d fight for you.
That did happen after that night at the dinner table. When Rafe finally arrived back at Tanney Hill, he’d found you in the library with Ward, discussing things and when he heard the same words that Ward had told you, he didn’t dare to speak up. But when you were alone, he told you not to worry about it, that you’d be okay and it wouldn’t change anything. That you just had to be careful and wait until you were eighteen and you would get a place together and not need his dad or your mom and you could have your own lives. But that didn’t exactly happen the way you two had planned. With the hunt for the cross at the forefront of absolutely everything, everyone was on edge, constantly battling with one another, making decisions that you couldn’t come back from.
It came to a head when Rafe had accidentally shot Sarah, and he slithered through the front door of the estate covered in blood and mud and you rushed to his side to search for where it was coming from, the worry sweating out of your pores, until he grabbed your arms too tight for comfort and told you to stop. You rubbed your arms as he shoved you off to the side, before climbing the steps to his bathroom to clean up. Your eyes followed him all the way up, tears springing forward, before the noise behind you bringing you back and meeting eyes with your step father who would fill you in on it all. He’d told you how Rafe was not himself, how he was explosive and you needed to stay away from him at every turn. How he’d shot his sister, and that he didn’t care that he did. Your head lightly shook “no”, as the tears spilled over, splashing onto your chest as you broke down in Ward’s arms.
The boy you loved was seemingly gone, and not even his father could bring him back.
You’d seen the relationship between Rafe and Ward deteriorate, boiling over after Peterkin was killed. It was something you knew but couldn’t bring yourself to think about. There was only one reason Ward didn’t trust Rafe to do things on his own after she was gunned down. You knew Rafe had access to guns and you knew Peterkin stood in the way of your family getting the gold off of the island. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. But would you ever ask about it? Never. Because that wasn’t the Rafe you loved. He couldn’t have done that. So he simply didn’t. That’s what you told yourself anyway.
You remember back to that night in particular, nearly 2 months ago, after he’d cleaned himself up and Ward had asked you to bring his dinner up to his room. You cautiously hammered your fist onto his bedroom door, not even getting the second rap in before it swung open, the wind blowing back your hair and his face only inches from yours, his pupils blown and his hands on your arms, dragging you into the room with him. “Put it down”, he’d told you and you placed the tray with his dinner onto the ottoman in the corner of the room, before his hand turned your body back around to him, crashing his lips to yours while holding your hips, squeezing feverishly.
“Rafe, you’re hurting me.” You’d tried to say, pushing your body backward, his hands coming up to hold your lower back to drag you closer.
“Shut up.” He spun you both around before moving his hands to your shoulders to shove you down onto the bed, before running his hands up your calves and thighs, dragging your linen dress with them, all the way up until your breasts were exposed and his hands roughly squeezed them, earning a mumbled cry of pain.
“Rafe, stop!” Your hands gripped his wrists as you tried to pry them off of you before his hand came up and slapped you across your face. Your mouth hung open and tears sprung to your eyes and you brought your hand up to slap him back. His hands caught both of your wrists and forced them up by the sides of your head, before bringing his face down to yours.
“I fucking want you, can’t you see that? I need you right now, y/n."
“Fuck you, Rafe! I’ve been here this entire time!” You’re breath is a whisper but your seething at him and his chest is rising and falling rapidly, eyes boring into yours, tears brimming his eyes before connecting his lips with yours and letting go of your wrists to drag your panties to the side and shove two fingers inside you.
“Oh my god. Jesus.” Your head rises off the mattress to meet him now that he’s hanging above you, before wrapping your hands around his neck and dragging him back down to you and panting into his mouth. Breath hot, you tell him you need him too.
His fingers move in and out of you, curling to pet the spongey spot inside of you over and over, your voice mewling “please’s” and “oh my god, yes” until you hear him shuffling with his pants, and your feet come up to hook into the sides of his pants, helping him drag them down his legs.
“Please get inside me.” You beg, your voice a strained sigh of relief mixed with utmost pleasure as his fingers leave your core to replace them with his cock. Your whole body rises off the bed, your chest meeting with his, nipples like daggers against his skin as he sinks down until he bottoms out and he groans. You’re nearly positive the entire house can hear you, but after what’s gone on tonight that you have no idea about, you’re not sure anyone actually cares.
His breath is hot against your face, and he’s watching you with intensity you don’t know if you’ve ever seen in his eyes before, his hips pulling back only to push back twice as slowly, the glide of his cock in your slick heat pulling the deepest moan from your throat, and you moan the prettiest “oh” the thinks he’s ever heard. Your nails are gripping his biceps, now hooked under your knees, his palms by your head, thighs spread back nearly to your chest and you look down to watch him drag himself out of you achingly slow before he tells you to “look at me” and you do, your eyes meeting his and you’re both crying together, tears falling and noses dripping. Your pussy is throbbing and your hands are clutching, your mouth moaning and your heart dying.
You’ve continued this sick relationship with Rafe for a year, growing into adults together in the most backward way. Sneaking around, falling out of love, but staying so desperately in love with who he used to be, begging him to get clean, trying to understand him, keep him from killing himself, trying to mend the relationship between him and his father; or rather, trying to salvage what was left of it.
You couldn’t imagine stopping, though. You couldn’t give him up - not really, not the way you were supposed to. You would have been an embarrassment to the Cameron name if you had continued dating your now step-brother. Even though people were aware of your relationship prior to your mom and Ward getting together. Marriage precedes dating, and so they won the battle. You think that this was Rafe’s way of fighting for you. Or rather, fighting his dad for you. Because he’d taken you away from him, so instead of being an embarrassment to his father by dating his step-sister, he’d become the drug addict family fuck up instead. You knew the truth though. Rafe had never experienced love until you. And then his father took that away, just like he did everything else in Rafe’s life.
“You know I love you, Rafe. I will always love you.” You tell him, taking longer than intend to, your breath short and sad.
He doesn’t say anything back to you, but his hand catches your jaw and he brings your face to his, lips in a sneer. “You will always be mine. You can try to act like you aren’t, but you are. I fucking own you. I will always own you.” He tells you before kissing your lips. You pull back and grasp his wrist in your hand.
“I know you love me, too. Say it, tell me you love me. Fucking say it."
You feel him cum inside of you before he manages to say anything, remorse filling your blood stream and your eyes shut tightly at the bitter defeat. You’d allowed him into your body and your heart without him having earned any of what you’d just confessed. You know he knows you still love him, and you know he still loves you. But he’s tried his hardest to show you that he doesn’t.
You tremble, over sensitive when his fingers find your cunt and push back inside, watching you with intent as he lazily glides his cum back inside of you. He’s watching you almost like he’s studying you, his head tilting when your head tilts in a mix of desire and discomfort, his fingers buried knuckle deep inside you. You gush around him and he kisses you, lips hovering over yours.
“Of course I love you, my beautiful girl. How could I not love you? Miss you so bad it fucking hurts."
That night tipped the see-saw of back and forth between the two of you, caution to the wind, Rafe would come to you more nights than not, and he’d fuck you on your bed before telling you how much he loved you and slipping out before the sun rose.
“Gonna get clean for you.” He told you one night, and you nodded under his palm as he held you close, begging him. “Please, Rafe. I can’t be in this by myself."
So when you'd texted Rafe to meet you in your room after dinner on Thursday night one year after your world truly blew apart, he locked the door behind him and the black in his eyes told you he couldn’t keep his promise. You kept hold of his gaze until his knees hit the bed, your small hand coming up to his chest before he could press his own to your sturnum before pushing you down, your other hand clutching your lifeline. You look up at him and when you lock eyes, he understands, because he takes your hand from his chest and squeezed it in his own before leaning down to touch his lips to yours.
"I miss you, baby. My beautiful girl."
You want to yell at him, swat his hands away as they come up to cradle your face, but you’re too overwhelmed, too hormonal, too busy in your mind to do anything but melt into his warm touch, safe and protected.
His breath comes hot against your mouth, his scent so familiar and home to you. You can't stop the tears from falling, your hand loosening from his hand to hold onto his forearm that connected to the fingers clutching your cheek tenderly but firmly in place, kissing you like he really does love you again.
How badly you missed him, too.
"Rafe, please..."
Your hand falls and one of his breaks from your cheek, and you take this moment to capture his hand with your fingers and place the stick into his palm. His eyes break away from yours to look down at what you've given him, and you watch with tears streaming down your face as his brows furrow, his feet shuffling to back up and you brace yourself.
He doesn't react how you expect him to, though. He stares so deeply down into his palm that when his eyes do reconnect with yours, confusion in his own eyes, his head tilting just the slightest and you're trembling, waiting for the shoe to drop. He sniffs, rubbing his nose, clearing any remains of his relapse out of your sight. His mouth opens before closing, brow furrowing as he snorts, a half chuckle, his hand coming up into his hair to rake his bangs back, scratching the back of his neck.
"This...this is a -- you're..." His eyes screw up shut and he shakes his head like he's imagining things and he's crazy. "A baby?" He finally asks, looking up at you again and you can only nod.
"My baby?" He asks again, and you nearly scoff, because really? Was he kidding? Who else was sneaking into your room after midnight, invading your body and your heart?
"Yes, Rafe, I'm pregnant with your baby.” You tell him, seething before standing and he's still shaking his head, eyes bunching up as if he's being told the craziest thing in the world - because really, he is. But you've sat with this for the entire day and while your reaction wasn't as confused, you too felt the familiar disbelief.
You watch his chest rise and fall, deep breaths in and out before you're in a whirlwind and he closes the distance between you and pulls you to him, tucking your head underneath his chin, the back of your skull rested protectively in his large palm. His lips are at your forehead when he tells you
"I'm going to take care of it."
You raise your head from his hand and your eyes lock on his to question him. “What does that mean? Take care of it?” You’re suddenly timid, your hand instinctively coming to rest on your lower abdomen.
“They’re not keeping me from my kid, y/n. Fuck that.” He tells you, watching your eyes soften and thank god. Not that you would have been surprised if Rafe suggested you take care of it. Now that you have a moment to collect yourself, you realize it’s actually what you expected from him. Maybe not from the sweet boy who held your hand on the beach when you were sixteen, but from the man who stood before you now.
“You want this?” he suddenly asks you, and you look up at him after realizing your eyes are locked on his chest, and you tell him honestly. “I don’t know what to do with a baby, your baby…we - how can we keep this baby?” You whisper, eyes pleading wide and scared, suddenly full of fear and you try pulling away from him, but his arms lock around you and keep you steady to him as you huff with exhaustion. “Rafe, please let me go, I need to go, I…"
“Shhhh, it’s okay, I’ve got you, it’s okay, baby I promise it’s going to be okay.” He tells you and you believe him, high or not, you cling to him, fingers tugging at his shirt, your tears and snot mixing together on the fabric, not caring how you look or how you sound, because what the fuck are you going to do now?
“Y/N, please don’t cry. I’m going to make this okay. I swear, I’m going to make this okay.” You look up and into the eyes of your whole world. The boy turned man that you so deeply love. Your boyfriend turned step brother. The one whose hands are bloodied from trying to protect his father who ripped everything away from him every chance he could. How can you believe him? Were you going to run away with a murderer who you’ll knowingly harbor for the rest of your life? What you don’t truly know will kill you - you know that. You know you’d pick up and leave this place - your mom included if it meant being with Rafe. You’d told him that the night he came back after the wedding bomb. But he couldn’t tell you the same, and so he’s ridden down this path of self destruction, danger, evil, and crime just to protect the one person who has caused him so much pain. And not only him, but you too.
You could handle being hurt by Rafe, and even by Ward. But you couldn’t handle the idea of carrying and birthing a perfectly innocent baby that was half you and half the wounded and hurting boy who just wanted to be loved by the only parent he had left. So only one question swirled in your mind.
Would he let his father cause your child pain, too?
——
NEXT PART
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sstan-hoe · 1 year
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◇ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐇𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐬 ◇
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𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — teacher!bucky barnes × ceo!fem!reader
𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — with a hot-headed wife like you, Bucky's life was never boring. Add to that, his daughter. Seven years, cute as a button with the temper of her mother.
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — SMUT (at the end tho), riding, slapping, a bit of choking, allusions to cum eating, sub!bucky (I tried lol), this thing has like 5k words... THERE IS PLOT PEOPLE
𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — I wanted more smut but then decided I will only do more drabble wise, meaning if people want and maybe give ideas I'd be happy to show more of them – especially sex wise, there is so much we can do! reblog, comment / follow!
𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐁𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐃
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A soft nudge against your shoulder pulled you from your deep slumber, when you didn’t move right away you got another nudge, “mommy,” a small voice whispered.
You couldn’t help but smile into the pillow after hearing the voice of your daughter. Slowly you turned to her, “good morning little lady,” you greeted her, and she gave you the most adorable grin one could imagine.
“Daddy said to get you for breakfast,” she told you, rocking back and forth on her soles. Her words caused you to look over to Bucky’s side which was indeed empty. Normally you’d be up before your husband and make breakfast, start working and get Myra ready for elementary school.
Slowly you sat up and grabbed Myra quickly making a sound that matched a lion’s roar, “gotcha!” you started tickling her. High pitched squeals left her mouth, “mommy, mommy stop!” she giggled.
Downstairs the noise of happy laughter made Bucky’s ears pick up, a smile spreading across his lips. Soon his two troublemakers would come down for breakfast.
Meanwhile you picked something out to wear with the help of Myra, she was always excited to choose a shirt or dress pants for you. Never had you met a seven-year-old that had as much fashion sense as your daughter, sometimes she picked better clothes than you.
“Mommy you have to wear the red blouse, it makes daddy’s eyes twinkle,” Myra giggled and pointed at said blouse at the top of your closet.
You got the blouse from the top and slipped into the soft satin fabric. It was cute to see how your little girl was aware of her surroundings and that she knew which clothes Bucky likes the most. You finished the look with jewelry and then walked downstairs with Myra.
Bucky heard your footsteps and instantly turned around, his eyes in fact twinkling when he saw you in the red blouse.
“Good morning moya lyubov',” he whispered against your cheek as you came around the kitchen aisle. “You did not wake me,” you stated, holding your chin high. A low chuckle rumbled through your husband’s chest, “couldn’t, you looked too peaceful to wake,” he pressed his lips to yours.
You couldn’t help the grin that formed on your lips, this man and his sweet tongue. “You are a sweet talker Barnes,” you told him, gently shoving his shoulder, “and you Barnes are falling for it everytime,” Bucky said back with a small smirk.
“Now sit your cute ass down and eat,” he patted your bum before his second whirlwind rushed over to him. Myra jumped into her father’s arms with a big smile, “I helped mommy pick out her outfit!” she told him proudly, “thank god you did,” Bucky whispered into her ear in a teasing tone.
The little comment didn’t go unnoticed by you, cocking an eyebrow at him. Bucky just shrugged, “mommy you needed my help,” your daughter agreed.
“Okay you two, enough. I gotta make your lunch,-” “already done,” “and pack Myra’s bag,-” “done that too,” “okay, mister and have you made your lunch too?” You questioned him, even though your tone was teasing you were more than happy for him and that he had taken the work off of you.
“‘Course I did, moya lyubov',” Bucky promised and presented you with the lunch boxes and then pointed at Myra’s backpack which stood by the door.
“Good boy,” you whispered in his ear, making sure your daughter didn’t hear it. A shiver ran down his spine, before you could tease him any more the doorbell rang and Myra sprinted towards it.
“Stevie’s here,” you said with a slight smirk and went to walk after Myra but Bucky snaked his metal arm around your waist and pulled you back, “don’t think this is over,” he growled lowly.
That’s the thing with you and Bucky, you were both in control. Although no one believed the calm, sweet teacher would have such a dirty mouth and a rude, controlling CEO would easily get told what to do, it was how your life was sometimes.
A second later Steve walked in with his niece - goddaughter - in his arms. “Morning boss, morning jerk,” the blonde greeted you with a smirk, “morning,” you said unison, though Bucky sounded more unwelcoming than you.
Not only did Steve walk in at the wrong moment, he also was like a switch. As soon as he would come in you would be in work mode - save for vacations or weekends.
You took Myra from Steve’s arms and pressed a kiss to her cheek, “have fun in school and give Lilian hell,” the last part you whispered in hopes Bucky didn’t hear them.
Steve tried to hide a chuckle while Bucky faintly heard your words and lifted his head, “what was that?” he questioned. You gave him an innocent smile and sat Myra down who wore the same expression, quickly you left with Steve.
Bucky looked down at his daughter, “we’re not giving Lilian hell,” he said sternly. Myra nodded her head, but both knew if Lilian was being her bratty self then the littlest Barnes wouldn’t hold back. He was proud that his daughter stood up for herself and others, but sometimes she came too much after her mother.
“How are the numbers looking?” you asked Steve as you got into the passenger seat while turning your tablet on.
Suddenly Steve went quiet, he rubbed his neck a little anxiously, “well…you know Fred, he kinda switched something up and-,” “Steve, how are the numbers looking?” you asked again with more enforcement. “We had a little downfall…,” the blond tried to stay calm and not show any sign of nervousness.
“And what does a little mean?” you raised your eyebrows already in motion to open everything. “Like 20 percent,” thankfully you were now in front of the office and your anger would be directed at someone else.
You got out of the car with a glare and instantly walked to the sales department while swiping through said numbers.
“Good morning,” you announced yourself loudly, all heads turned towards you, “I was informed that our numbers had a downfall from 20 percent, can anyone tell me what caused this,” you knew what and who.
Several heads turned to Fred who looked frightened, “it was an accident, really,” he tried to explain. It wasn’t a good answer, accidents like this weren’t supposed to happen, at all.
“You better fix it before I do it and when I fix things, I fix people too. I will come back at 12 AM, it would be better for you if it’s fixed,” you said with a stone cold face.
“Yes, ma’am,” Fred almost whimpered, the fear visible on his face like nothing else. “Start working,” you barked and turned around, walking away. One of Fred’s coworkers leaned towards him and whispered; “wow she was nice,” meaning it with full honesty.
You walked into your office, turned the computer on and sorted through the files on your desk. As you looked through them you noticed that they weren’t properly created and certain information missing.
If you were the one who made those folders then you’d be mad at yourself but you weren’t the one who made them.
Pressing down on the phone at your desk you called the Personnel Management, “hello?” a female voice greeted you. Confused, you sat down on your chair, wasn’t the manager a man?
“Hello, I’d like to speak with Mr. Martin,” you said slowly, waiting for what would happen next. “He’s currently in a meeting with the boss, can I take a message?” This person apparently didn’t know who was calling. You ended the call and instantly went to the fifth floor.
Passing your secretary you told her to make a tea for you in exactly ten minutes, you would need it after what was about to happen.
As you waltzed through the halls all eyes were on you, they all knew someone was going to get fired.
Swinging the door open you saw Mr. Martin sitting at his desk and on his right was a slightly smaller desk with a brunette sitting there. She looked confused while her boss was frightened.
“So, this is your meeting I see…with your boss,” you closed the door behind you before looking at the girl, she wasn’t older than twenty, “and who are you?”
The girl smiled brightly, “I’m Oliv! I’m Mr. Martin's intern, and you are?” An intern? You never said it was allowed and everything like hiring an intern - or anyone - had to go over you first.
“Huh, Oliv do you get paid?” you asked instead to which she shook her head, “no, it’s just an internship.” You actually made a rule that even interns get paid.
It seemed like Mr. Martin was using the poor girl and that’s probably why he left at three o’clock PM everyday. You didn’t care how long your employees worked as long as they got everything done in time and correctly.
“You hired a young girl to do your work while you sit here and do nothing? I just looked into the files which had to be prepared by you and more than half are missing information. It is your job to make them and not give them to someone who has no idea what to do. You’re fired, pack your shit,” you were on the verge of yelling before turning to the girl, “you, with me.”
Oliv followed you quickly, scared she would end up with the same fate. “Wasn’t that quite harsh?” she dared to ask in a small voice, “sweetheart you haven’t seen harsh yet,” you stated and lead her towards Marketing.
You were well aware that the young girl wasn’t at fault which was why you would put her somewhere you knew she would be appreciated.
Opening the glass door you were met with a beautiful woman, tall, red hair and a charming smile. She was talking with the online marketing manager and didn’t even notice you until the manager's eyes widened.
Natasha Romanoff knew that meant you were right behind her, she turned around and instantly handed you papers. “Morning boss, sales are going up and we made three new deals this morning, just need you to look over it and give the okay,” her smile was gentle and calm.
She already heard about the first incident and well given she was on the same floor, meaning she heard you.
“Thank god someone knows how to do their job, I swear too many people here are idiots,” you muttered, quickly glancing over the papers, “I will have it to you after lunch meanwhile…here is your new intern.”
Confusion washed over Natasha’s face, she had interns before but not on this kind of short notice. “Oliv meet Ms. Romanoff, Nat this is Oliv. I’ll have your employment contract sent to you by the morning, if you have questions make an appointment.” With that you rushed back to your office.
You needed to get some of your own work done, fate had a different plan though. A soft knock on your door and Wanda - your assistant - popped her head in, “Stark is on the phone,” she said and quickly vanished.
Groaning you picked up the phone, “hello, Tony what can I do for you?” you tried to sound polite, nice and not annoyed.
For the next hour Tony Stark talked your ear off on new product ideas and how he could technically advance certain products.
Meanwhile you sorted through the files and looked over the deals Natasha gave you. A glance at the clock showed you it was finally lunch time and Tony was still talking. Letting your head fall down on the desk you buzzed for Steve.
“Yeah, Stark let’s have a meeting on this…I’m free on the twelfth September at nine o’clock,” just before you put the phone down you heard him protest and how it was only just May.
A few minutes later Steve strolled in, “please tell me you have good news…,” you begged desperately however got silence in response which gave you an answer.
“You know that fucking idiot Martin just hired a girl who had no idea what to and didn’t even pay, then all these files were wrong which leaves me to do that shit right and I have to fill another position,” you complained as you sunk back into your chair.
“Listen, you're my best friend's wife, I’m the godfather of your daughter and you really like me…maybe you should fire less people?” Steve sounded like a child in your eyes, with raised eyebrows you looked at him.
“Was that a question or a statement? If people knew how to do their fucking job I wouldn’t have to fire them,” you tried to remain calm and not snap at him.
Meanwhile Myra was in school having her lunch break, she played catch with her friends giggling every time she successfully catched someone.
Suddenly one of the older boys came up to her and pushed her, “hey that was mean!” she complained as she landed on her butt. The boy laughed at her, “are you gonna cry now?” he mocked Myra.
“No, I won’t waste my time on bullies,” she stated and stood up from the ground. Bucky always told her to never get involved and be the smarter one.
“I’m not a bully, you’re just weak,” the boy laughed and that was it for Myra.
She took a step forward and roughly pushed him, he was taken back, looking shocked, ���little brat,” he snapped at her. Again she pushed him until he fell to the ground and that was when a teacher intervened.
However they only saw Myra pushing him and not the boy starting it, they took Myra to the principal where she had to wait for her parents.
Bucky was the first one they called as he was the closest, given he teached some of the older classes. As soon as he heard he came running, but one thing wouldn’t leave his mind; you would raise hell upon them.
A knock on your door had you lifted your head and saw Wanda walking in with a strained expression, “school called, Myra pushed a boy and said mean words…,” with that she left, not wanting your anger.
“Cancel everything today,” you told her as you rushed past her office and to Steve, opening his door he looked at you puzzled, “Myra has trouble in school, I’ll take the car!”
Before Steve could answer you were back on your way, but he quickly followed you, “but it’s my car! How will I get home?” He stopped when he saw the elevator close.
Steve walked over to Wanda, leaning against her desk with a charming smile, “mind taking me home later, scarlet?” The red-head wasn’t falling for it and instead leaned back in her chair, “she left you huh?”
The blonde let his head fall down in defeat, “yeah.” Wanda nodded with a little smirk and promised to take him home later.
You walked into the school with a heavy glare on your face, when you reached the principal's office you took a deep breath like Bucky taught you.
When you opened the door you already saw your daughter and husband sitting there with the blonde bimbo - seriously she was a bitch. “Ah, Mrs. Barnes! Nice that you could join us, I already told James a bit,” she also refused to call Bucky by his nickname or surname.
One glance at her showed you that she was undressing Bucky with her eyes already, yeah she also had some kind of crush on your husband.
It made you furious, but Bucky promised you he would handle it and you trusted him.
“Yes, I came as soon as I heard,” you told her and sat down on the other side of Myra who held out her hand to you smiling.
“Myra unfortunately pushed a boy from one of the older classes and said some mean words…,” she trailed off trying to sound sincere, she went to add something but interrupted her.
“And what did the boy do?” your tone was calm, “excuse me?” You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at her answer.
“My daughter doesn’t just push someone, what did he do?” you repeated yourself and grew tired of the woman claiming your daughter was completely at fault.
As the blonde was about to answer, Myra cut in, “I was playing catch and he came up to me and pushed me, he did! And said I was about to cry and weak,” at the confession of your daughter you raised your brows.
“Love, did anyone ask your side of the story?” the little one shook her head.
“Let me get this straight, you just saw Myra push the boy and didn’t think to ask the little girl for her side? What’s wrong with you, you just assume she started it? What kind of teacher are you,” you were livid and Bucky was unsure if he should let Myra sit outside.
Bucky instinctively put his hand over yours, “Myra why don’t you wait outside?” he gently asked his daughter who followed his request.
She left, but not before giving the principal one last dirty look. Myra was a smart girl and well aware of her mothers temper - after all it was where she got it from. A smile locked on her lips knowing you would give her quite a piece of mind.
As soon as the door closed and Myra was outside you let loose. “How can you even be a teacher huh? You’re obviously favouring students,” at this point you were standing with the chair moving back a little.
“Where are the parents of the boy? I swear to god if I get a call from them or anything related to my daughter where they complain, I will sue you and if I can’t I will raise hell!” your voice got louder with every second.
Bucky placed his metal hand on your waist drawing soft circles while his right hand moved up to your neck. The gesture helped you calm down.
The woman in front of you didn’t know what to say, her mouth hung open causing her to look like a fish. She was taken back, although she knew you had a temper.
“I asked you a question,” you stated, crossing your arms over your chest. “No, I’m not favouring students,” she sighed but didn’t answer your question. “That wasn’t a question, that was a statement,-” “James…,” she rudely cut you off and desperately looked at Bucky.
Bucky just gave her a glare, he didn’t say a word. He didn’t like how the principal cut you off and looked at him, as well as not answering your questions.
“You listen here, if my daughter gets any punishment but the boy doesn't, you won’t have your job for very long anymore,” you threatened her and successfully scared her.
With that you left the office, Bucky trailed behind you and after closing the door he cupped your cheeks, “sh, it’s alright, she doesn’t know a thing. I will look after Myra and make sure everything is fair, yeah?” His tone was soft and his movements so gentle.
You nodded and let your head rest on his chest, “office was crazy today and I stole Steve’s car,” you muttered.
He chuckled at your last words, “how’s he gonna get home?” he teased, you shrugged your shoulders in response.
“How about we go home for today mhm? Come on moya lyubov',” he walked you to Myra and told her about the plan, however on the way to the car Bucky remembered he had an appointment with some parents.
Cursing silently he told you to go home with Myra and he would come as soon as possible. What he forgot at that moment was that when you drove with her, she would come home knowing new words.
“All buckled in love?” Myra nodded with a wide grin and was already putting on her music in the car.
Just as you left the car your phone rang and interrupted Myra’s music, rolling your eyes you answered the call. Steve’s voice echoed through the car which had your daughter excited, “hello uncle Stevie! I pushed a boy today because he was mean and then got in trouble but mommy told them off! Oh! Can I sleep with you tonight? Pretty please, with a cherry on top? I promise to cook for you,” she began ranting.
Steve was a good cook, Myra only helped him. Though when she told stories, it was always her who cooked and Steve wouldn’t complain about it.
“Hey, there little troublemaker…didn’t know you’d be in my car with your mom,” his tone was calm and you knew he had a little smirk on his lips when he mentioned you taking his car.
“What do you want, Rogers?” you asked and his mood shifted, you could already feel something happened. “The online shop isn’t working,” he said, almost too quiet to understand, but you understood it perfectly. 
“What!” you yelled, Myra held her hands over her ears at your outburst, “are you fluffing kidding me? Which potato sack did that? Why is that frying thing not working?”
Steve was sweating on the other side of the phone, “there is some technical issue, but Jensen is working on it and we actually didn’t wanna tell you but you’re the boss you gotta know, you know?” he ranted like your daughter when she was excited.
You desperately needed to get some steam off, this day was already chaotic and your blood pressure was too high.
“If you don’t have it fixed within an hour I will ban you from babysitting,” you said, you couldn’t fire Steve as he was one of your best but you could threaten him with Myra. “You wouldn’t,” “No, mommy!” Both said at the same time.
You leaned down to your daughter, “don’t worry nothings gonna happen, you can sleep at Stevies tonight,” you whispered and she nodded with a confused expression.
“You sure I wouldn’t Steve? Wanna test me?” you questioned him monotone to which he sighed in defeat, “I’ll have it done boss,” “good,” you hummed and hung up.
Myra put her music back on and sang along as you continued driving, suddenly a car in front of you harshly stooped, “you horse! Can’t you drive?” you snapped at him. Myra giggled at your words.
Once at home you helped Myra pack her things for later and finish her homework. As you looked over her papers you wondered how they could give the students homework over the weekend.
Thankfully the online shop worked again and your little girl could be with her favourite uncle. You had already called Bucky and updated him about everything.
Steve came around five to collect Myra, you ushered them quickly out of the house knowing Bucky would be home soon. As you waited for him you stripped off your clothes and sat cuddled up with a blanket on the couch watching Dynasty.
As Bucky walked through the door he expected you to welcome him, instead he found you on the couch.
“I see…want me to make you some soup or get you ice cream?” he tone soft as he made his way over to you.
The moment he’s close enough you unwrap the blanket revealing your naked body to him. Bucky stopped in his tracks, taking in your body. Slowly you stood up from the couch and walked towards him, you let your hand roam over his chest.
“I do want some cream though,” you whispered, kissing down his neck while unbuttoning his dress shirt.
His pants felt tighter with every kiss you laid upon him. Resting his hands on your waist he leaned into your touch, a part of him wondered what had gotten you in such a mood but he wasn’t one to complain.
“Mhm, then you should be a good girl and do as I say…,” Bucky trailed off and gripped your waist tighter.
“No, today I’m in charge,” you announced and pushed him towards the bedroom.
Bucky knew what that meant, you needed to cool down and let your anger out. He didn’t mind being the submissive, he liked giving all control away for once.
You directed him to lay on the bed, after he stripped all his clothes. The tip of his cock hit his lower abdomen, leaking with precum.
“Aww look at the effect I have on you,” you smirked as you climbed on top of him, “you have no idea how mad I am,” you whispered against his lips. “I know how mad you are moya lyubov', that’s why I married you,” his big hands cupped your cheeks, drawing you into a fiery kiss.
A moan slipped past his lips as you gently bit his lip, tugging on it. Your tongues fighting over dominance, you clearly winning.
His hands travelled along your skin sending shivers along your spine. Then his colde metal fingers found your sensitive bundle of nerves. “God you’re wet,” he groaned.
“Bucky,” you whined as you felt him take back control, not even intentionally it was you who let it slip away, “I’m in control,” you added.
Your husband growled and moved your hips to hover over his cock, “then take it,” he growled, “if you can’t take it here, how can you take it in the office?” Now he was mocking you, trying to rile you up and it was working.
“You think you can be in control? You’re too weak,” he whispered into your ear, that was it.
“Shut it! You think I can’t control everything, think I can’t be in control? Fuck you,” you snapped and lowered your hips onto his cock.
A pained moan slipped from your tongue, even after years it was still hard to adjust to his size. Bucky groaned at the feeling of your tight cunt. He would never get tired of feeling you stretched around him like this.
Once you had all of him inside you, you stopped needing a moment to breathe. “You will not tell me mock me, tease me or fucking anything. I’m in charge,” you said, determined and began moving your hips.
At first you had a slow pace but as the events of the day replayed in your head, your pace became harsher, faster.
“These fucking idiots, can’t do a thing right. What would they do without me? And that bloody teacher can suck my dick,” you panted heavily.
Bucky held on your hips as you drew moan after moan from him, the sounds only spurring you on in the most sinful way.
You wrapped your hand around his neck, you weren’t able to choke but at least a bit of pressure on his throat.
“That’s why you’re fucking my cock huh? You can’t control every-,” a slap against Bucky's cheek shut him up. The pornographic moan was something different, it felt good, made you feel like you had all the power.
“You like that? Like it when mommy slaps you?” before he could answer you gave him another slap against his other cheek. You never stopped moving your hips which only added to Bucky’s pleasure.
“Yes, I love it mommy,” he cracked, Bucky cracked and was fully pushed into submission.
A knot formed in your stomach at his strained voice, hoarse, needy and desperate for more. You picked up your pace and tightened your hold on his neck, chasing your needed orgasm.
“Fuck I’m gonna come,” you breathed out as you threw your head back, “me too mommy,” just when you heard those words you stilled, “don’t you dare to come, baby,” you threatened him.
Bucky tried his best to hold back his high when you began moving again, “play with mommy's clit,” you instructed. Not hesitating, he pressed his metal fingers over your clit and rubbed tight circles.
You moaned loudly as your orgasm washed over you, “god, fuck, Bucky,” you nearly fell onto Bucky’s chest if it wasn’t for his hands steadying you.
"Mommy please let me come," Bucky begged after your orgasm. His eyes rolled in the back of his head, his cock twitching against your soft walls.
How could you deny him? He looked too pretty begging for you, "then come, come for me like a good boy," you whispered and leaned down, licking a long stripe over his cheek.
Bucky didn't come right away which made you slap his cheek again, "did I not say come?"
Then he groaned, biting his lip and drawing blood as he painted your walls white. You kept riding him, adding to his pleasure. Once you felt like his last cum was inside of you, you slowly stopped.
"Now…I'm not quite done with you…," you smirked. Bucky chuckled, he adored this side of you and was ready for another round, but he needed to eat first.
"Sounds good moya lyubov', but I need to eat first," he meant it honestly, with no dirty mind.
"Oh, I have something you can eat," you wiggled your eyebrows and Bucky knew exactly what you were talking about.
"God, I love you moya lyubov'," he sat up and pressed his lips to yours in a loving kiss, "I love you too, my good boy," you answered, accepting the kiss gladly.
You truly loved Bucky, you couldn't even understand how you deserved a man like him. He was loving, gentle and calm. Without him you would be in a sour mood all the time.
He made you feel whole and didn't act like you were being overdramatic. Yes, you get faster riled up than others but what's bad about it?
Nothing and your husband who gifted you a wonderful and sweet daughter who may have be a little like her mother since forever – seriously she was vocal as a two year old – he knew that and would never make you feel bad about it.
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𝑩𝑶𝒀𝑺 𝑻𝑾𝑶 — @smile1318 @wintasssoldier @xcaptain-winterx @georgiapeach30513 @alina02 @jobean12-blog @broadwaybabe18 @waddlenut @buckymcu12 @witchybabel @daemonslittlebitch @shara-ne
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 |I do have a taglist however it has conditions that must be followed — you can follow @sstanhoe-updates for updated without anything
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goldenbuckyyy · 2 years
Text
IT’LL BE OKAY
Summary: After your Halloween hookup with Eddie Munson, it never really ended from there. Now it’s Valentine’s Day.
Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Word count: 6.3kish
Warnings: SMUT (!!), oral (f!&m! receiving), vaginal fingering, raw sex, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, cream pie, making out, dry humping, some angst, crying.. anything else?! Let me know!!
A/N: I had been wanting to write some Eddie for a while now and a lot of people loved part 1! So, decided to write another part to it! I had originally wanted to post it on Feb. 14, but as always.. life and work happens!! So, hopefully you all enjoy. 🥹 I’m tagging whoever asked to be tagging in the first part! Song title inspo: “It’ll be okay” by Shawn Mendes.
All mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other side nor this one. 
I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions. Please message me your thoughts! Love reading them. 🫶🏻
Part 1 | Main Masterlist
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Eddie usually hated Valentine’s Day. 
He hated the whole pink and red hearts vibes, the way the word “love” was splattered on every open surface, and the way he would see couples left and right. 
He had never celebrated Valentine’s Day with someone. Not in his eighteen years of life. 
He doesn’t think he’s ever even had sex on Valentine’s Day either. 
Maybe that’s why he hates it so much. 
But, man… you love Valentine’s Day. 
You never specifically said it out loud, but he knew you loved it. 
You loved pink hearts and your clothing sure showed it. You had cardigans with hearts all over them, you had a bag in a heart shape, you’d draw hearts all over him and his tattoos when you guys would lay down naked in bed, and he loved the way you looked lately as you walked down the decorated halls of Hawkins High School. 
He loved seeing your wide smile as you admired all the decorations, the way you’d reach out to touch them with your fingertips with your bright red painted nails, and he especially loved the way he noticed your cheeks blush when someone would ask you who you were going to spend your Valentine’s Day with. 
You’d blow off the question with a laugh and a shrug knowing damn well you had already said no to over a million of guys who had asked you out. 
And when your friends weren’t looking, your eyes would slowly travel to where Eddie was. Where he always was. Leaning against his lockers that were across from you, he was surrounded by his friends, and your eyes would lock with his. 
You’d blush every single time you noticed that he was already looking at you. You’d get flustered and proceed to look away with a shy smile on your lips. 
Eddie wondered how you were the same girl he fucked recklessly in that bathroom at Kassidy Norway’s house that Halloween night. 
That night lived in Eddie’s thoughts for ages. Shit, it still does most nights. 
Nowadays, Eddie had wayyyy more images than he ever thought he’d ever get a chance to see. He was a lucky, very lucky, man. 
He’s seen every inch of you. He knows every inch of you. 
He’s also seen you bent down against a wall in the back of the old movie theater. An image of your skirt bundle up over your ass and your panties shoved to the side flash in his thoughts. 
He’s seen you down on your knees, peebles scraping the skin around them, because you couldn’t wait to get into the car to get him in your mouth. The way you moaned as he fucked your mouth with his cock and the way you shoved your fingers inside your panties to touch yourself. 
He’s seen you spread out in the back of his van, naked as the day you were born, and completely blissful. The way you’d lay out after he’d fuck you would send him chills. He’d fuck you anyway you liked it. Anything you asked of him, he’d do. 
He’s seen you bouncing on his thighs, sitting on his face, riding his fingers, legs behind your head, back arched with your ass up, and Eddie’s pretty sure he’s sporting a semi right now as he thinks about all of this. 
Eddie smiles once you wave bye to your friends and that’s his cue to do the same. He tells the guys he’ll see them later and he strolls towards you. 
You spot him walking towards you and you smile lazily. 
The same smile you wore last night when he dropped you off at your house after some mind blowing sex and some deep talk at his trailer. And maybe a little dancing in your underwear on his bed as he played his guitar. 
He always had fun when he was with you. 
“Hi,” you say with a hip tilt and batting your eyelashes. Your fingertips reach toward his face to push his curls behind his ears. 
“You don’t gotta do all that for me, sweetheart. You already got me wrapped around this,” he grips your hand in his and bites your index finger with a smirk, “little finger.” 
You roll your eyes as he reaches for your bag and proceeds to hold your stuff while he walks you to class. 
Eddie indulges you on whatever topic of the day, giving his input when needed, and then you’re outside of your home room. 
You smile as Eddie hands you your bag and you both look at each other sheepishly. 
It’s always like this between you guys. Shy smiles and teasing grins at school, but completely different in private. Eddie loved it. He loved seeing you squirm in school because of his attention on you and then seeing the complete vixen that you truly are. 
“See you in the last block?” You question curiously, letting your fingers intertwine with his, not really caring who sees. You always said it wasn’t anybody’s damn business. 
Eddie kisses your cheek delicately, “I’m skipping.” 
“Eddie,” you scold as your eyes widen, but Eddie’s already jogging away from you with a smile on his face. 
“You won’t be scolding me tomorrow!” He yells at you and he doesn’t miss the way you break out into a big smile. His favorite smile. 
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At 7:30 am the next morning, right as you're walking out your front door to walk to school, you are standing on your porch when you see Eddie standing there with a big grin on his face. 
Your face immediately breaks out into a grin, “Eddie? What are you doing here?” Your eyes darting all over his body to simultaneously check him out and wondering why he has his hands behind his back. 
He’s grinning so hard that his dimples are showing and he looks so handsome. He’s in his regular attire, but you love it. He’s wearing his black jeans with his dangling chains, white chucks, his DnD long sleeve underneath his jean jacket, and his curly hair is messy. Curls framing his adorable face with his cut bangs covering his forehead. You want to run your hands through them. 
You walk up to him and place a quick kiss to his cheek. 
“I got you something,” Eddie says with a whisper and slight hint of mischief behind his tone. You raise an eyebrow, following his arms as he untucks them from behind himself, and you gasp when he pulls out what he’s hiding. 
Eddie watches you as your eyes swell up with adornment and you sigh so lovely that it’s almost sickening the way his heart flutters at your expression. 
He holds onto the fluffy pink teddy bear he had gotten you that has a big heart in the center of it with the words, “Kiss me” splattered in the center. 
He holds it out for you as your expression goes from surprised to amusement to completely grateful in the span of fifteen seconds. You reach for it and squeeze it into your chest. 
“You shouldn’t have,” you quickly say with a breathless smile and Eddie swears he sees tears in your eyes. 
Eddie pulls you into his arms, wrapping his around your torso as the bear gets squished between you guys, and he leans down to kiss your sweet tasting lips. 
He kisses you easily and softly. Almost like it’s second nature to him already. His warm hands grip the sides of your cheeks as your lips move against his in a rhythm that feels natural. 
It’s almost unfair how soft and sweet your lips feel against Eddie’s. Eddie almost wants to come undone right here on your front steps. 
Your free arm, the one not holding your brand new and favorite teddy bear, wraps around Eddie’s shoulders with ease and you pull against his back to move closer into you. 
He chuckles into your mouth and you can feel him smiling which causes you to smile and to slowly pull away, but before you do you give him a million pecks on his lips as you both giggle childishly. 
“You’re sweet on me,” you whisper into his lips as you slowly shove away some of his loose curls that tickle your cheeks. 
“Always am, sugar.” 
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In your last class, which surprisingly was the only class you had with Eddie, you were already anxiously waiting for the school day to end. You had already been wanting to give Eddie his gift and you were in your headspace about it when you heard multiple people calling out your name. 
You snap out of your thoughts and immediately sit up straight when Mrs. Johnson is walking over to you with a big bundle of red roses in a glass vase. 
Your mouth parts open in shock as she hands you the vase and you set it down on your desk. You can feel yourself blushing as the girls around you are giggling and asking who sent you the roses. 
“They’re beautiful, honey. You are a lucky lady,” Mrs. Johnson says with her sweet smile and honey voice. You whisper a quick thank you as you easily look over your shoulder at Eddie who’s sitting in the back row. 
He’s staring right at you with a smirk on his face which causes you to break out into a cheeky smile. 
You inhale the sweet scent of the beautiful roses in front of you and sigh in contentment. How did you get this lucky? And who would have thought that Eddie Munson was a secret romantic? 
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“Thank you for my roses,” you pant out above Eddie as your arms wrap around his shoulders and your hands go into his curls. Eddie moans as he starts kissing your neck, running his hands up your naked thighs and underneath your pink skirt, and when he reaches your core, he groans with his head tilting back to meet your eyes. 
You smile as you pull his lips to yours once more, “I forgot to put them back.” You whisper teasingly into his mouth. 
Eddie almost cums at your words as he moves his fingers to your pussy, which is already soaked, and he loves that you do stuff like this. Always doing something that shocks him. He fucking loves you. 
Wait..
Does he love you? 
Yeah, he’s pretty sure he’s in love with you. 
He thinks he wants to tell you that tonight. Maybe make whatever this is between you two official. 
He slips one of his fingers into your warm heat and you whimper as you feel your walls tightening around his digit. Your nails dig into the skin behind his neck and you start grinding your hips against his own. You feel how hard he is underneath his jeans and you can almost feel him throbbing. 
Eddie grips your neck with his free hand, kissing you roughly as he slips in another finger, curling both of them in you to hit your spot, and the feeling of him stretching you out makes shives run down your back. 
Eddie moves his thumb to your clit and starts moving his fingers together, trying to get you to your peak, “Fuck me, sweetheart. You’re absolutely dripping.” 
You lick his lips to taste him, “All for you.” 
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After a heated almost sex almost orgasm make out sesh in Eddie’s van, you had told him to come back around nine pm once you knew your parents were asleep in bed and thankfully they were both deep sleepers. 
You told him to go through the window and now here you are. 
Waiting for him in only your babydoll pink outfit. 
It shouldn’t even be considered an outfit by how it was basically mesh and didn’t leave anything to the imagination. 
But you knew Eddie was going to go feral over it. He’s seen you naked plenty of times, but never in anything like this. 
The lingerie was baby pink in color with matching underwear. The little dress fanned out on your waist which you loved. And you looked at yourself in the mirror once more.. just to admire the cute outfit before Eddie ripped it off of you. 
You hear a soft knock on your window which causes your heart to race immediately and you rush to open it. The cold Indiana air rushing over your skin and making goosebumps arise all over you. 
You stand back as Eddie makes his way into your room. You quickly settle into the bed, crossing your legs, and leaning back to make your body look appetizing and wanting for him. You adjust your hair to fall over your shoulders and you hope you look as good as you feel right now. 
Eddie is adjusting his jacket over your empty chair and ruffling his hair as he looks over at you for the first time and he stops in his tracks. 
His lips part open, baby brown eyes going wide, and he puts his hand on his chest dramatically. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack, baby?”
You giggle, “Maybe.” You hook your toe into one of his belt loops and pull him into you as best as you can. His cold hands touch your burning thighs and it feels amazing. 
“You look breathtaking,” your lover says as he cups your face in his hands and leans down to kiss your lips. 
Eddie crushes his own lips against yours, moaning at the taste of your sweet chapstick, and how you always seem to reciprocate to him in the best way. 
He loves the way your arms automatically wrap around his shoulders and the way you lean back to spread your legs wide open for his own hips to mold into yours. 
Eddie pulls away slowly, your arms unlinking from behind his neck, and falling down to your sides as you watch him watching you. 
His eyes take in your flushed cheeks, to your already swollen lips, the straps of your lingerie are falling down your shoulders, and it makes Eddie want to groan. 
He looks at your perky breasts covered in the mesh and your pretty nipples are pointy. He rubs his thumbs on both of them over the lingerie and you gasp as the sudden contact. Your thighs rub together as he thumbs your nipples in between his fingers. 
“You’re a fucking dream,” Eddie whispers as he licks his lips while he moves his hands down your full breasts and to the opening of the lingerie. He lets his hands go under the opening and holds onto the curve of your waist. 
“A fucking dream,” he mutters again as he moves his hands down to your matching mesh underwear and he slips his hands underneath the sides. 
Then, Eddie slips down to his knees and he’s pulling your underwear down with him. 
You feel the cold air hit your already soaked area and you whimper as Eddie removes your underwear from your legs. He starts kissing you from your ankles to your inner thighs and that’s where he starts leaving small bites of kisses all over you.  
You adjust yourself onto the edge of your bed, soft goosebumps covering your body as you wait in anticipation for Eddie to touch you, to do anything to you, and you close your eyes when you feel his warm breath against your pussy. 
You feel his fingers slowly start to spread you open and you feel his tongue flick your opening slightly. 
You gasp in pleasure, your belly tightening in want, and your breathing is rising as Eddie licks a strip from your aching hole to your pulsating clit. 
And Eddie feels obsessed with you. He’s obsessed with your pretty legs, your pretty thighs, and your fucking pretty pussy. 
He’s obsessed with the way your body responds to his touches. The way he can spend hours kissing and marking your thighs. And how he loves the way you respond to the way he eats you out. 
He buries his face into your pussy as he starts eating you out as a starved man. He licks your folds, his fingers moving to open you up, and then proceeds to lick your aching hole once again. 
A tingling sensation runs through your spine which causes your back to curve upwards into the air, a pleasurable moan escaping from the back of your throat, and one of Eddie’s strong hands holds you down by your hip. 
He moves his lips towards your clip, sucking and licking it, and simultaneously inserts one of his fingers into your hole. You gasp as you grind your hips into him. 
Eddie moans into your pussy, sending vibrations into your core, and he starts to move his finger into you. Slowly opening you up. “Fuck, almost so fucking tight for me. All for me, right baby?” Eddie rushes out as he lays his tongue flat against your pussy, letting your juices coat his mouth and his chin, and when you look down to meet his eyes… he smiles so hard, his dimples show. 
“You’re a dream, baby.” 
Eddie continues to maintain eye contact with you as he sucks in all your juices. He pulls away, licking his lips messily, and watching your pussy clenching down his finger. He inserts another, your soaking walls clenching down again as you feel his other finger inside of you, and you grip onto the sheets underneath your body. 
Eddie starts panting a little as he watches you squirming underneath him, spread out in all your glory for him. Just for him. 
He watches the way you grind your hips into his fingers, the way your pussy soaks his fingers, and the way you confidently touch your body with your hands. Twisting your nipples in between your fingers and biting your bottom lip in want. 
The knot in the bottom of your belly is getting tighter as pleasure is seeping out of your pores. 
“E-Eddie,” you moan out as you reach down to wrap your hands into his curls and before he can say anything, you shove his head back down to your aching pussy. Needing him to finish you off. 
You hear Eddie chuckle as you shove him down and then he continues to eat you out, just the way you like it. His free hand moving underneath your hips and squeezing your ass in his hold. 
Eddie continues to pump his fingers inside of you, curling them in your walls, and sucking on your clit which makes your toes curl in anticipation. Your hands tighten around his curls, tugging generously, and he never stops. 
“Oh,” you moan out, back arching a little bit to move your center to the perfect angle that will help you achieve your orgasm, and Eddie only goes faster and harder. The knot in your belly starts to tighten and you feel almost over the edge. 
“Eddie, Eddie, E-Eddie,” you continue to moan out his name as you clench your eyes shut as you feel your orgasm take over your entire body. His fingers pump inside of you, his lips wrapped around your pulsating clit, and you bite onto your forearm to try and conceal your screams. 
Your toes curl against your bed as your orgasm washes completely over you as Eddie licks up all your juices until you're shaking and laying down limp on your bed. He removes his fingers from your sore pussy and you look down at him with a lazy smile, he sucks his fingers into his mouth with a moan. 
“You taste so sweet,” he whispers as he leans over to you and kisses you, open mouthed, and lazily with tongue. You taste yourself as you kiss him, both moaning together, and you bite his bottom lip. 
You moan as you wrap your arms around him, “I need you.” 
Eddie whimpers at your words and pulls away from you. He quickly starts to strip out of his clothes as you giggle. You sit on your calves as you both watch each other. He stumbles out of his boots, trying not to fall, and shoves off his jeans. 
You slowly pull off your babydoll outfit and toss it to the floor, watching Eddie as he yanks off his shirt, and you lean back on your elbows. 
Eddie slows down as he watches you spread out for him and he bites his bottom lip. He shoves down his boxers and his red-tipping, almost aching thick cock bounces up and down. He palms himself as he watches you, “Ready for me?” 
“Always am,” you whisper into the quiet room as you do grabby hands for him as his big, lean body towers over you. 
He slips his hand behind your back and one behind your head as your lips move messily against his own. He moves his hips against yours which causes his pulsating cock to move in between your folds and he allows himself to rub against your swollen clit. It sends bolts of electricity all over your body as you had just orgasmed. 
You both moan into each other’s mouth at the sensation, your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer into you, and you spread your legs wider to allow him easier access. He pulls away from your mouth, kissing your neck with small licks, and sucks a little bit near your collarbone. 
“You want me?” He whispers into your ear as he sucks on your earlobe. Chills run down your spine as a memory fills your brain when he asked you the same thing a couple months ago on Halloween night. 
You follow the same movements you did that night, pulling his face towards you as you cup his chin, eyes locking together, and you nod as you reach down to grip onto his length. Eddie lets out a shaky breath as he feels your warm hand wrap around him and you can feel him twitching in your hold. 
You thumb the tip of his cock, coating it with his pre-cum, and you rub him in between your folds. Eddie feels the same way he felt that night when he first had you underneath him. He’s aching for you, like he always does. He still feels like he’s going to explode just by being above you. 
You rub his throbbing cock along your soaking pussy and center him with your opening, “Take me.”
Eddie almost cums at your words as he kisses you again. He feels your opening against his cock and he pushes into your tight, warm, fucking delicious pussy. 
You both whimper together as he pushes into your tight hole, bottoming out, and feeling you stretching around him. It burns slightly, but it feels blissful. Never truly accommodating to his size and it always feels just as amazing. The stretch you feel when he enters you almost feels unexplainable. Every. Single. Time. 
Your limbs mesh together in sync, legs intertwined together, and hands touching everywhere they possibly can. You’re kissing each other with open mouths, tongue playing against each other, and then Eddie starts to move. His hands gripping your breasts roughly, twisting your nipples in between his fingers, and moving his mouth to suck bruises into each one of them. 
His thrust are slow and tender as he slowly moves in and out of you. His rhythm going easy and taking his time as he fully feels you around his cock, your pussy clenching around him, and your nails raking down his back. 
“Always so wet for me, huh princess?” 
“Always,” you whimper out as he starts to increase his speed above you. Your lover's hands move down to caress your belly and then he settles them onto your waist, holding down tightly as he tilts his own hips higher as he thrusts inside of you. 
You moan out loudly when you feel him hit the area that sends you the most pleasure, your mouth hanging open with your whines, and Eddie moves one of your legs up to your chest which causes his cock to enter into you at a different angle. 
You grip onto Eddie’s arms as he starts thrusting into you at a rapid, almost animalistic, speed. The wet sounds of his cock entering you fill your bedroom sweetly and you lean down to kiss his collarbone. The sweet smell of sex slowly filling your bedroom and you look up to admire Eddie’s. 
Eddie’s skin is flushed from his cheeks to his chest, tinted pink and beautiful, and you run your tongue on his neck as you reach his soft spot. You let yourself kiss and suck for a second, making sure you linger enough to mark him up. Just the way he likes it. 
“Fuckk,” Eddie whimpers out, “You always feel like fucking heaven. Tightest pussy I’ve ever had. M-Made just for me.” 
You twist your hips a little bit as you move your leg from your chest to rest above Eddie’s shoulder, tugging him by his arms lower into you, and you both gasp as you feel him fall deeper inside of you. Your pussy clenching around his cock trying to suction him in more. 
Eddie chokes on a moan as you squeeze your walls to grip onto his cock, knowing he loves when you do that, and he moves his hand in between your bodies. 
His fingers ghost over your pussy and he kisses your lips, open mouth kisses with his tongue tasting you, “Fuck, baby. I’m not even touching you yet and my fingers can feel your hot pussy aching for me.” 
You whimper as you tilt forward to catch his lips again while he moves his finger over your swollen clit and you cry out from the instant pleasure you feel. 
“Fuck,” he gasps out, clenching his eyes shut for a second, and he laughs. “I’m trying not to cum so hard right now.” 
“I’m close,” you whisper as you feel the aching feeling starting up at the pit of your belly once more and Eddie breaks out into a smile. 
“Thank fuck ‘cause I don’t know how much longer I can hold it,” Eddie says as he kisses your lips while he continues to move his finger against your clit. You feel the familiar sensation start to creep up in your toes, you wrap your arms around Eddie’s shoulders, and you start moving your hips against his to cause greater friction between you two. 
“Fuck, sweetheart. Are you ready to cum with me?” 
You nod frantically as your fingernails start to dig into Eddie’s shoulder blades as his free hand grips onto the plush of your hip. 
“Eddie,” you cry, “Fuck! Right there! Don’t stop! I’m about to—“
“Cum for me,” Eddie cuts you off with a demand. 
You gasp out at his demand and you quickly grab his face with both of your hands, your fingers caress his cheeks and his lips, and you both stare into each other in a breathless mess. 
“Together,” you whisper as you both keep moving together in sync. 
And then it happens. 
You choke on your moans as you feel your body explode with pleasure as your stomach tightens and your toes curl into your mattress. Your ears start ringing in white noise as you clench your walls around Eddie’s cock. 
Eddie swears he’s fucking a goddess right now because there’s no other explanation for the absolute dream that’s underneath him right now. 
Eddie watches you come undone under him and it completely triggers his own orgasm. Your tight walls clench around his throbbing cock and he lets himself release into your heavenly pussy. 
Eddie starts to thrust into you harder and faster as his cum fills your walls. You pull on his cheeks to make your lips meet his in the middle and you both are trying to find your breath through the kiss. 
Eddie rests his forehead against yours, softly pulling his lips away from yours, and he admires you as you smile blissfully up at him. Your cheeks are flushed, eyes glossy, hair a mess, and Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone more beautiful. 
But he’s always felt that way about you. 
He holds your ankle on his shoulder as he slowly pulls out of your cum filled pussy and you both hiss at the emptiness. 
Eddie reaches over to your bedside table and gets a couple tissues. He spends the next couple of minutes cleaning you up, slowly to not hurt your sore pussy, and it almost makes you ache for him all over again. 
Once he’s done cleaning you and himself, he relaxes next you and you pull the covers over your bodies. 
You smile sweetly at him, your heart rate finally slowing down, and you stretch for a second to twist and look at him. 
You admire him from his long, curly hair to his long dark eyelashes that coat his beautiful chocolate brown eyes to his pouty red, kissed out lips and when he catches you starting, he breaks out into a smile. 
You reach out to put your index finger in his dimple and he blushes under your touch. Eddie turns his body to also face you  
“So, babydoll.. who was your first?” Eddie asks nonchalantly as he twirls his fingers through your hair. 
Your eyes immediately go wide with shock at his question and you burst out into fits of giggles. You tug your covers over your naked chest, twisting to look at him, and you settle on your side. 
You can’t stop giggling as he joins in with you. 
“You can’t ask me that, Eddie!” 
“‘Course I can, baby. I’m in your bed naked after we just had mind blowing sex. I think I can ask you anything I want,” he teases with a sly smile that shows his white teeth. 
“You can’t get mad, okay?” 
Eddie’s eyes light up with interest as he proceeds to push himself up on his elbows, “I’m listening.” 
He watches you as you bite your bottom lip, your flushed out face and neck is calming down, and your hair is laid out messily all over you. 
But Eddie still thinks you're the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 
That’s why when you say the name of the lucky bastard that you gave your virginity to.. Eddie lets out a choked gasp intertwined with a barking laugh. 
His eyes go wide as he watches you, “Did you just say Steve fucking Harrington?!” 
You cover your face with your hands as you smile widely behind them and Eddie can’t help but laugh so loudly that he’s clutching his belly. 
“Don’t laugh at me!! It was back in freshman year when we were dating, but it was very short lived and we moved past it.” 
You giggle with Eddie as you both clumsily sit down on the bed, facing each other, and then you suddenly see a look come across Eddie’s face that halts your laughter. 
His laughing dies down, his eyes downcast, and he’s frowning for a second. He quickly shakes his head from his thoughts and ruffles his hair to distract himself. 
“Hey, Eddie. What’s wrong?” You ask as you reach for his hand to hold in your own, your eyebrows furr down in confusion at his sudden change of mood. 
Eddie bites his bottom lip in thought before he moves his beautiful big puppy brown eyes to meet yours. 
“It’s just.. I’m not mad that you lost your virginity to Steve Harrington. I’m sure he was a good fuck or what-shit, ignore that! It’s just—fuck,” he blubbers rapidly and you squeeze his hand for him to continue as he sighs loudly, “it’s just.. Steve Harrington.. is Steve Harrington. He’s the popular guy. The handsome guy with the nice hair and cool car.” 
You tilt your head when Eddie watches you with expecting eyes as if you’re supposed to understand what he means, but you don’t get it. What’s so good about Steve? 
Not that there’s anything wrong with him. But you’re confused. 
“I don’t get it?” You say with confusion and a slight pout. 
Eddie looks down, rubbing his thumb on your hand, he says, “Steve is Steve and I’m.. well… I’m just me?”
His voice sounds small and suddenly you feel your heart tighten in your chest. 
“Oh,” you let out a shocked little sigh as you see a side of Eddie that he’s never shown you before. 
A side where he feels inferior to Steve Harrington and he’s showing how he’s insecure about it. 
“It’s just.. I’m just Eddie the weirdo that lives in a beat up trailer park with his uncle and I sell drugs for a living.” 
“Eddie,” you whisper as you try to reach for his face, but he pulls away. He’s suddenly shut himself down completely. 
He almost looks upset. 
“I’m nothing, god… I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to realize this.” 
Eddie is suddenly shaking his head and jumping out of your bed. You sit up in the bed, holding your sheets to your body, and Eddie is tugging on his clothes. 
“Jesus Christ,” he says with an exacerbated laugh and another shake of his head. 
“Eddie, please stop. I’m so confused, what’s going on?” You try to beg him as he simultaneously shoves on his boots and you shove off the sheets. 
You stand up, naked and without a care, and you stand in front of him as he adjusts his jean jacket over his shoulders. You put your hands on his shoulders to stop him and he curls into himself almost as he’s ashamed. 
He tries to avoid your eyes as you look up to him in confusion, your heart is racing, and you don’t know what’s happening. 
He finally looks down at you, his sad eyes taking in every inch of you, and he looks suddenly miserable. 
His fingertips slowly touch the curve of your waist and he quickly pulls his hands away as if your skin burned him. 
He slowly reaches down to your lips and kisses you slowly. You try to kiss him back, but he pulls away swiftly. 
“I’m nothing,” he says again with shame. 
“Eddie, you’re not—“ 
“I am,” he cuts you off. “And you’re.. god, you’re everything. You’re smart, funny, so fucking caring, and beautiful. You’re so gorgeous that it's honestly insane,” he chuckles as he meets your worried eyes, “You’re everything and you deserve better than me.” 
“Eddie, stop. You don’t—“ 
“I do,” he cuts you off again. “This was never going to work. We aren’t even really together. We’ve just been messing around for months, but we all know where this is going. You’re going to New York or LA to follow your dreams and I’m staying here. You’re going to become someone and I’ll always be a nobody. You don’t need me dragging you down.” 
Tears instantly fill your waterline, “Eddie, what are you talking about?” You beg him as your voice shakes and your lips quiver. 
He shuts his eyes for a moment as if the mere sight of you hurts him. 
“Don’t waste your tears on me, doll. I’m not worth it. You’re leaving in a couple months, so might as well end this before we get too into our heads.” 
He gets the blanket off your bed and quickly covers your body with it before he walks over to your window. 
You watch him, not knowing what to say, and you’re frowning deeply with tears staining your cheeks. What the hell is going on? 
He looks at you as he raises the window up, letting in the wind, “It’s easier like this, doll. Trust me.” He tries to smile, but his lips waver. 
You rush to him, gripping onto his hand that’s holding him steady as he eases himself out the window and onto the roof, “Don’t do this to me, Eddie Munson. Why are you doing this? Please.” 
He almost hesitates, but then he only tugs his hand away from your hold and you let out a whimper. 
“Sorry, doll. Guess you were just into this more than me.” 
He quickly rushes out the window, slamming it shut, and leaves you there with a shocked open mouth and a gasping breath. 
You cover your face as you scramble to sit on your bed. You hold the blanket over your naked body as you cry over what he said to you. 
Had you been more into this than him? 
Did he never really feel the same way you did? Why was it so easy for him to just end whatever this was? 
You grip onto the blanket as you quick step towards your window, looking at the overview you have of the street, and right under the tall street lamp is Eddie. 
Standing underneath the light, smoking a cigarette, kicking his feet on the ground, and then proceeds to get into his van. 
You watch every movement that he does, begging that he looks up at you, but he doesn’t. He just drives away. 
You wonder if he can hear your heart breaking. 
Eddie drives away in his van and his stereo is off. 
Eddie’s stereo is never off. It’s always the first thing he does when he gets in his van. He always turns it on and shuffles through millions of cassette tapes he has and goes through them until he picks the perfect one. 
But right now, he doesn’t want to hear anything. He wants to be alone with his thoughts. 
His stupid fucking thoughts. His stupid insecurities. The stupid ones that made him fuck off from you and ruin everything he had with you. 
Eddie slams the steering wheel with his palm as he rubs his eyes with his free one. He’s beyond frustrated with himself and is cursing at everything he sees. 
He’s such a fucking idiot. 
But he knows he’s right about one thing. 
You’re everything and he’s nothing. 
How could something like that possibly work? 
He scoffs as he feels a small tear run down his cheek, he grips the steering wheel even harder, and yells loudly. Trying to silence the thoughts in his brain. 
He knows it will never work. 
Now he just has to stay away from you and once school is over, he’ll never see you again. 
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55sturn · 7 months
Text
✮ COVERED IN YOU
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pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader
synopsis: in which history has a tendency to repeat itself for matt and y/n, and this time y/n’s had enough of the back and forth because despite fighting it for years, she’s in love with matt, but does he love her back?
warnings: swearing, matt is the epitome of avoidant attachment, no established relationship, ex situationship to enemies to something complicated, making out, suggestive, alcohol consumption, angry!matt, mentions of sex.
THIRD PERSON POV
to anyone that dared to ask, most people would imply, rather than flat out explain, that matt and y/n hated one another for good reason. no one would ever divulge into full detail what the good reason was.
most believed it was feelings that were never dealt with, or lingering resentment from a fight that was never acknowledged. a lot of people had their theories, a plethora of them even. but no one but matt, y/n, and matt’s brothers knew the real cause.
when matt and y/n were in their senior year of high school, the year it happened, the two were close. like undeniably and i breakable bond close. they were attached at the hip. but one night things changed when the two of them shared a kiss at some party that eventually led to a much more intimate moment, it being their first of that kind.
from then on, they grew closer romantically. they went on dates, they kissed, held hands, spent hours talking to each other. all for matt to call it off in the middle of them laying in the yard watching the stars.
y/n was confused, to say the least, because she was so sure matt was going to ask her to be his girlfriend after nearly a year of them being whatever they had been. they had already said their “i love you’s”, matt just didn’t think a label was necessary so she waited.
“i just don’t see this going any further than what it is right now.” matt sighs, his gaze flickering from the stars above to the girl beside him, he felt guilty lying to her because in all honesty, she was the center of his universe. but he and his brothers had finally agreed to move to los angeles the second graduation finished, and he wasn’t going to put her though the pain of a long distance relationship.
“that doesn’t make any sense matt, you told me you loved me.” the girl whimpers, tears welling along her waterline.
“i figured that’s what you wanted me to say.” he hums, his voice void of all emotion as he stares ahead, trying not to give into the voice in the back of his mind telling, screaming at him, to take it all back, to tell her the truth.
“so you don’t actually love me?”
“not in the way you want me to.”
“fuck you matt, i gave myself to you, and this is what you do?”
“i’m sorry.”
“at least look at me while you rip my heart out.”
and from that night onward, the two haven’t shared much more than two words. after the triplets moved to los angeles, they lost contact with the girl for a while but nick refused to let up and soon brought her back into their lives after he found out that she had moved to a deeper part of los angeles for the social marketing courses she was studying.
matt, at first, despised nick for bringing her back into his life. he felt like he had finally gotten rid of every touch she left in his life, like he had finally taken a breath that wasn’t full of her for the first time in his life. just for her to resurface.
they had been so consumed by their feelings, which y/n felt was the worst part of it all. she believed love was never meant to be all consuming. and her love for matt, consumed every part of her and when he accepted that love without giving it back, it spit out someone she didn't want to know.
but she learned to love the version of herself that didn't know matt, that didn't want to know matt. but here she was, unfortunately thrusted back into his life and being forced to be someone that knows him again.
the two found endlessly for the first little while, constantly bickering over things that held no genuinely purpose to them, they fought for the sake of fighting. of hearing each other's voices. but when matt found y/n standing on their front step, drenched from the rain and biting back tears, his heart clenched and he softened up around the edges, letting the very clearly distraught girl into his house without hesitation.
he soon learned that the guy she was seeing had only used her as a rung on his ladder in his social climb due to her relationship with the triplets, and on top of that, the internship that she worked hard for that she had landed at one of the top social media networks, had fired her without so many as a good reason.
that night, they rekindled their friendship. they began to lean on each other again, finding solace in each other’s arms. but y/n was apprehensive of getting close again, she couldn’t go through being heartbroken by him again. but he reassured her that he was there and he wasn’t leaving again.
PRESENT TIME
y/n laughed as her and the triplets made their way down the busted sidewalk that led toward nate’s house, the four them of had flown back to boston for a couple weeks due to being overworked and homesick, and what better way to celebrate being home? a party in their childhood friend’s garage. the cold february air nipped at y/n’s hands and cheeks as she struggled to keep warm, and matt took notice of this, falling behind the group to hold her and keep her warm. once she felt like she was warm enough to keep walking without shivering, the two made their way up nate’s driveway, and were welcomed with the smell of beer, weed, and stale cigars.
as the party went on, more people arrived, some y/n knew well, and some she was only acquainted with. there were a few girls from shared high school classes present, and y/n spent most of her time catching up with them, sitting matt or playing beer pong with nate, but there was one blonde girl in particular that kept eyeing y/n. the nasty look on her face made it evident that she didn’t like how close y/n and matt were.
y/n knew the girl from high school, she was friends with matt’s ex fling nicole, and had always seemed to have a strong disliking for the girl so close to matt. but y/n brushed it off, figuring it was just jealousy because y/n stayed close with the triplets and she didn’t. but y/n was proven wrong when matt went to the bathroom and the blonde girl approached her.
“why are you so close to matt? it’s like you’re practically sitting in his lap.” the girl, that y/n remembered was named alara spat.
“what does it matter to you?”
“seeing as he’s my boyfriend, i’d rather not have a random girl hanging off him.”
“since when have you and matt been dating?”
“about a month, we hooked up the last time he was home and now we’re keeping it lowkey.”
“matt’s never even mentioned you.”
“well now you know to stay away from him, m’kay?” the girl laughs, before walking away, leaving y/n angry and upset as she stares at the beer she just opened. y/n scoffs and goes to throw her beer away as matt reentered the garage, immediately noticing her furrows brows.
“you okay?” matt hums, reaching out to brush the hair from her face as she steps back.
“don’t fucking touch me. i cant believe you.” she spits, leaving matt dumbfounded as he watches her walk over to nate, the two of them sharing a quick hug before she exits the garage.
matt’s eyes dart around the room, meeting alara’s pleased smirk as matt storms his way over to the blonde girl, gripping her bicep as he drags her to the corner of the garage.
“what the fuck did you say to y/n?”
“i told her the truth.” alara laughs, watching as matt’s expression grows angrier.
“please enlighten on what you believe is the truth? because the last i remember, you’re just some girl i fucked six months ago and then blocked when you went psychotic.”
“i told her we’re dating.”
“jesus christ alara, i just got her back into my life and you come in and fuck everything up.”
“well now you can be with me, matty.”
“no. you’re always going to be the random hookup that i regret and wish never happened. stay the fuck away from me.” matt seethes, dropping the girl’s arm and quickly leaving the garage, hoping to catch up to y/n. as he runs down the sidewalk, he spots her a couple feet ahead and he picks up his pace until he’s right behind her.
“y/n wait.”
“save it matt. i don’t want to hear whatever excuse for breaking my heart, again, that you’ve got ready.”
“it’s not an excuse. i’m not with her. she’s some chick i fooled around with six months ago, before you and i fixed things.”
“i don’t care matt, you and i aren’t together!” the girl yells, turning around to face as tears slide down her rosy, cold cheeks, prompting matt to delicately take her face in his hands as he wipes the tears. y/n’s eyes squeeze shut as she tries to find the willpower to pull away from his touch, but his hands are warm and she misses his hands on her and it’s harder to pull away with every passing second.
“i know we’re not together, but i want us to be. i fucked up the first time we had something because i listened to the fear in my head. since the night you showed up crying in the rain, five months ago, there hasn’t been another girl in my life. you are the only person i love, and want to love. i am completely covered in you. i am consumed by you. so please listen to me when i say there is nobody else, and there never will be.”
“matt, i’m scared. you made me let you in again, you made me love you again, and there is this fear in my heart that you’re going to push me away again. that you are going to tell me you love and not mean it again, that you are going to keep breaking me over and over again.”
“i know baby, but i don’t want to let you go again, i fucked up, and i don’t ever want to fuck uo with you again. so if you’ll let me, i will prove to you that i’m here for good. if you let me be your boyfriend, i will promise to never break your heart again. please just give me one more chance to love you right.”
“okay.” y/n whispers, her guard growing thin as matt whispers promises against her lips, and that fear is still there and alive, but how can she say no when he looks so pretty staring at her with frozen cheeks and tears threatening to fall? so, she gives in, pressing her lips to his to seal the proclamations and promises he makes, hoping that there will be some truth to them.
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ageofbajabule · 6 months
Text
Miracle
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Alt!Jake Kiszka x Female Reader
Word Count: 6.8 K
Warnings: Drug use (marijuana, coke), Alcohol consumption, Partying, Oral Sex (F! & M! Receiving) Unprotected Sex, Depression, Abandonment, Lying, Crying, Arguing, Fluff.
Author’s Note: Please note that this is an Alternate Universe! And it is fiction, if any of the warnings are potentially triggering to you then I suggest you move along and avoid this fic. (Also, please note that I would never ever depict any of the guys to be like this. We don’t know who they truly are and again this is simply fanfiction.) This is inspired by Bad Omens song Miracle off of their The Death of Peace of Mind album. Also picture credit to the lovely @holybananafuck she did an absolutely stunning job on bringing Miracle Jake to life🤍
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Going to parties wasn’t typically your vibe. However your dorm roommates bribed you into going as it was the first big party since coming back from summer break. You would much rather be at home listening to your favorite bands, or painting your next masterpiece. You had taken it upon yourself to get a degree in Art and Philosophy. In hopes to become an Art teacher or a tattoo artist.
You didn’t need a degree of course to be a tattoo artist, but learning different techniques in art helped your creative mind. You had started an apprenticeship at your favorite tattoo shop. Abby had taken you under her wing to train you, she absolutely loved your portfolio. You had already been teaching yourself since your senior year of high school.
You had purchased a tattooing machine set, an insane amount of ink, needles, and of course tattooable practice skin. Abby had said within the next year you could have all of the training necessary completed before becoming an official tattoo artist for her shop. Getting the degree was a back up plan in case your tattooing career didn’t end up working out for you.
After getting ready, you had finally opted on wearing a red lace bodysuit, paired with black ripped jeans, and your Doc Martens. You grabbed your black and gray flannel as well, putting it on as the early fall was a little chilly. Being satisfied with how you looked, you and your friends left. The party thankfully wasn’t at a frat house, instead at Xavier’s house that his parents left him for the weekend.
You typically hung out with what others would typically say is “alternative people”. And there was nothing wrong with that, you liked the people you surround yourself with. It was a comfortable friend group you had come to know. However tonight there was a new face at this party, one you hadn’t seen before. Yeah you never went to parties, but you still almost knew everyone from going out bowling.
Walking past the mysterious man, you had pulled your friend Maddy to the side.
“Who is he?” You grabbed a cup making yourself a vodka soda.
She giggled softly, “That is Jake… He’s majoring in music I believe. And he’s been trying to get his band going… But other than that, there isn’t much to tell about him. All I’ve heard is that he’s good in bed.” She smirked, making herself a drink.
You weren’t really looking to have a hook up. But he drew you in, and couldn’t put a finger as to why. You nodded, taking a sip from your drink.
“However, I don’t think he’s one to settle down… Guess he likes the party life.” She shrugged.
Maddy ventured off to find her boyfriend while you stood off the side, watching Jake from a distance. He wasn’t that tall, but he was gorgeous. His hair rested just upon his shoulders, a chestnut brown. Tattoos traveling all over his arms, his shirt was a little torn by his chest revealing a chest piece to you. His hands adorned with rings, and his ears gauged, a small hoop in his nostril and an eyebrow ring.
He was your type, but you tried to steer away because most times it didn’t end well for you. But your feet were telling you otherwise and suddenly you were in front of him.
He turned to face you, smiling softly.
One look at your eyes, and I cave in…
“Sorry, Hi. I’m Y/N…” You said shyly, sticking your hand out.
He chuckled softly, shaking your hand. You could feel the calluses on his hands. A guitar player perhaps. “I’m Jake, it’s nice to meet you.”
“I’ve never seen you around before? Are you friends with Xavier?”
He raised an eyebrow to you, “Yeah, good friends actually. Although it's funny, cause I’ve never seen you around before…”
You felt your cheeks warm, “I’m not typically one to party often.”
“A shame, it's nice to see such a pretty girl…” He mumbled, but you caught on.
You blushed, shaking your head lightly, “I’m not pretty. You’re just saying that.”
“I mean it…” He looked up at you with a twinkle in his eyes. He pulled a rolled joint from his flannel front pocket. “Wanna smoke?”
You nodded, as he led the way to the backyard of the noisy house. He sat down in front of the bonfire that was lit, weirdly enough no one was out back. So it was just the two of you. He placed the joint between his lips, bringing a lighter to light the end of it. Once it was lit, he took a couple puffs before handing it over to you.
You smiled softly, saying a thank you to him as you took a couple hits. Coughing slightly, you passed it back to him. “So tell me a bit about yourself.” He spoke with a bit of raspiness to his voice.
“Well, I’m attending university to get a degree in Art and Philosophy. While also doing an apprenticeship at my favorite tattoo shop. I hope to be a tattoo artist, and my sponsor thinks if I keep doing what I’m doing I’ll land a position for myself in no time.” You smiled softly, running your hand along your thighs nervously.
Jake nodded and smiled taking in what you had told him. “That’s amazing. I’ll have to check your work out sometime.” He smiled, taking a drag from the joint.
“So what about you?” You pulled the joint from his hand. He smirked softly.
“Music major, although I’m trying to get a band going with my brothers.” He grinned, shaking his head.
“A band, that’s really cool. Do you guys play often?” You took a drag, starting to feel the effects now.
“We have some gigs lined up to play at bars. Nothing crazy.” He shrugged, taking the joint back, finishing it off.
“You should see us sometime.”
“I’d like that…” You smiled softly.
The rest of the night you and Jake completely hit it off. The two of you had a lot more in common than you thought. And Maddy wasn’t lying when she said he was a party dude. The two of you played pong most of the night and kept winning every game. Eventually the two of you ventured off walking around the streets of the local frat homes as parties were starting to die out.
“Uh, did you want me to walk you back to your dorm?” He asked nervously.
“You don’t have too. I’m sure you want to get back to yours.” You felt your cheeks flush.
“No, I want to make sure you get back safely.” He smiled at you.
“Okay, it's just a couple blocks this way.” You smiled softly as you pointed in the direction.
He made sure to stay on your side, keeping you from stumbling into the street. As the two of you were still a bit drunk from your night out.
After a bit of walking you finally reach your dorm building as he walks with you up to your dorm room. Right outside your door.
“Well this is it.” You smiled at him.
He smiled softly, “Well I’ll leave you to it. It was nice meeting you Y/N.”
“You too Jake. I had fun tonight…”
“Uh, do you want to trade numbers?” His cheeks flushed.
You nodded, handing him your phone, as he switched yours out with his. After putting in your number, he finished putting his in yours.
“I’d like to get together again.” You grinned at him.
“Yeah of course. Have to get you to come see a gig.” He chuckled.
Then he leaned in closely, your breath starting to speed up as your lips touched. His lips are soft, satin and warm. It was a sweet small kiss.
One taste of the life, now I crave it
Then he pulled away, “Fuck. I’m sorry…” He chuckled nervously.
“No! It’s okay…” You blushed. “It would probably be best to leave it at that…”
He nodded, backing away slowly. “I’ll see you around love.” He said in a playful British accent.
After the small goodbye you retreated into your now empty dorm. You figured your roommates would be out for the rest of the evening and return in the late morning. So you decided to text Jake.
You: Thanks for walking me home. I appreciate it. And I’d love to see you play one night.☺️
Jake⚔️: Of course, I wouldn't have let you walk back all by yourself. And definitely! We have one coming up soon.
And that was the last you heard from Jake… You would reach out for the next few weeks hoping to hear back from him. But he completely ignored your messages. Maddy had told you that he probably wanted a hook up and since he didn’t get any he just dropped you.
You heard of him attending parties, and pretty much picking any chick he could find and leaving the party with them not too long after. Maddy had told you, she saw him snorting coke right off some chick's breasts the other night at a party. Making you see red, why were you even remotely upset?
Because you felt the two of you had a connection? But, maybe you had misjudged him.
It was Halloween weekend. All sorts of parties were going on this weekend so you were bound to run into Jake at one of them. You had different costumes to choose from. And the first night out you opted into a slutty nurse. (How original.)
Maddy helped pull your costume together by applying fake blood to it, and making sure your boobs perked out. You had gone for a dark makeup look and grabbed your wristlet. “Tonight, just forget about him! Clearly he’s missing out.” Maddy smiled at you softly.
“Don’t worry, I’m over it.” You lied through your teeth as you spoke. You weren’t over it, you still thought about how soft his lips were. How the two of you connected over music and wrecked ships. He was different to you…
Upon arriving at Xavier's house Maddy had left your side going and found Travis right away as she always did. You rolled your eyes playfully and went to the keg to get yourself a cup. You eyed around seeing if there was any sign of Jake. But alas no luck.
You ventured around, participating in drinking games as well as taking shots as you got further into the party.
Then you heard a familiar laugh, your ears perked up following the sound.
Coming to the outside balcony you see Jake dressed in a pirate costume with his arm wrapped around another girl, as he does a line off the table. You felt your blood boil…
It’s not too late to die for a reason
Jake’s eyes traveled towards you after he hit his line. His eyes widened as they locked with yours. You sucked your teeth nodding at him raising your cup then taking a long sip from it. Walking away from the scene, making way towards the bathroom down the hall.
Hearing footsteps tailing you, you felt your heartbeat grow faster.
“Y/N! Slow down.” Jake yelled for you.
You growled, “Why, Jake! Obviously you have no interest, you haven’t spoken to me in weeks! I’ve reached out and received radio silence.”
Jake groaned, “Things are just complicated.”
“Complicated my ass… You seem pretty fucking occupied with Slutty Nun back there.”
“As opposed to you being a Slutty Nurse?” He chuckled.
“How fucking high are you right now?” You grabbed his jaw looking at him closely.
“Don’t fucking start.” He pushed your hand away from his face.
“What else did you do besides coke? Are you on fucking molly, xanax?” You shook your head.
“What’s it to you?”
“Because Jake, you are trying to make something of yourself and taking this route will just make it worse.” You shook your head in disbelief.
“Listen just because you have your life together doesn’t mean I do, or that I have too.” He rubbed his nose.
“Wow Jake…. I thought you were different from others. But you just proved me absolutely wrong.”
“Honey, if you thought you would get something from me… It would’ve been one night and done.” He was standing dangerously close to you now. Smelling the hint of tobacco and teakwood off of him.
“Maybe I should’ve made it worth your while and did something that night.” You bit back.
“Why can’t you do something now?”
You giggled loudly, “After you’ve clearly been with another chick this whole night?”
Fall down on the sword you were swinging
Jake, wrapped his hand around your waist pulling you close. “Come on…”
I wanted to dress a blade up in red, with both of our necks
You melted into his touch pulling him into the bathroom. The alcohol had made you desperate for him. You were so drunk your anger you felt towards him had vanished making you vulnerable to him.
“Tell me you want this…” He held your face in his hands softly.
“I want this…” You pleaded to him, pulling him in for a heated kiss.
He wrapped his hand around your neck pulling your hair with his hand as his tongue slipped into your mouth. Tasting the whiskey on his breath. You melted into him, moaning softly into him, earning a groan from him as he locked the bathroom door.
You tug him closer to you, resulting in him lifting you up to place you on the counter. He pressed you against the mirror, trailing kisses down your neck leaving sloppy wet kisses.
“Jake…” You whined out, feeling the heat between your legs.
Like he knew what you needed, his hand moved to your clothed pussy. Pulling your thong off in a swift action stuffing them into his pants pocket.
“Fucking crying for me, aren’t you sweetheart…” He kissed your lips sloppily and his two fingers collected your slick, feeling how wet you were for him. “God… you’re gonna be the death of me…”
He licked his two fingers, humming contently before getting down to eye level with your cunt. He wrapped his lips around your bundle of nerves making you yelp, as your hands reached down to grip onto his hair.
He starts kneading his hands around your ass, pulling you closer to his face. Shaking his head back and forth like a starved man, lapping you up.
“Oh fuck…” You whine, as your back arches as you lean your head against the mirror.
Jake then slips two fingers, pumping and curling them at a steady pace. Grazing that spot that is ever so sweet inside of you. You felt yourself getting closer.
He pulls away for a brief moment, still pumping his fingers. “Come on angel, give me it. Drown me in it.”
Something inside of you snapped, as he reattached his mouth. He went into a frenzy, continuing to eat you out bringing you down from your high. He lapped up every inch of you, pulling away from your convulsing body, his lips glistening from you.
You pulled him up by his shirt grabbing his face to kiss him roughly, tasting yourself on him. Humming against his lips. He rutted his hips against you, feeling his hard, hot thick self pressing against you.
You pushed him back slightly, hopping off the counter. Pushing him against the counter, going onto your knees you undo his pants pulling them down to his knees, springing his cock free. Throbbing, the tip red and leaking with arousal. Taking your hand you wrap it around him, pumping him slowly, taking your thumb and rolling it over the tip as he shudders beneath you.
“Don’t be a tease baby.” He looked down at you, his eyes bloodshot and filled with lust.
Giving him your best doe eyes you smile softly, licking the tip slowly and languidly before taking him into your mouth. He groans as his head rolls back, as he relaxes against the counter.
Teasing him slowly, by flicking your tongue around his head, then took him far enough for the tip of his cock to hit the back of your throat, beginning to bob your head. His hand reached to gather your hair from your face. Letting out a moan against him, causing him to buck his hips causing you to slightly gag but you continued on breathing through your nose.
After a little while of bobbing your head and using your hand to pump the rest of his length. He eventually took control by grabbing your hair. “Just let me know if it gets to be a bit much. Tap on my leg.”
You nodded at him, as he then began to fuck your mouth. Feeling tears spill out the side of your eyes as he kept driving into your mouth, succumbing to his destiny. He was in an absolute haze. “God your mouth is fucking perfect…”
Somehow you managed your breathing to keep yourself from gagging, you hollowed your cheeks out as he kept thrusting. Eventually you felt him twitching, hearing him groan and watching his face contorted in pleasure he finally released down your throat. As you take every last drop of him, making sure to remember his distinct taste.
Jake eventually pulls back, cupping your cheek as he looks down at you. “So fucking beautiful.” He picked you up kissing your lips softly, getting a taste of himself.
The door then rattled as someone was trying to get in.
“Bathrooms occupied!” Jake yelled as you gathered yourself.
“Come on man you’ve been in there forever! Stephanie’s getting all fucking weird dude and asking for you.” A guy yelled back to him.
You looked at Jake as you stood up, adjusting your costume. “I guess you better tend to Slutty Nun…” You scoffed.
“Y/N, don’t do this. We can-“
“No Jake, this. This was obviously a mistake…” You felt your head throbbing. You then exited the bathroom quickly vanishing from the party.
But I wasn’t able, and I wasn’t stable, I guess
Jake’s POV
You felt like you were drowning, planning all these gigs. Trying to maintain your grades, and keeping up with whatever you had going on. The only things that kept you afloat were your music and drugs…
“Jake, come on dude! Get your fucking shit together.” Your youngest brother smacked you on the side of your head.
“Yeah, cause that’s gonna solve all my fucking problems man!” You cracked your neck, standing up slowly.
“You have been late to practice every fucking time we schedule it. And the gigs you’ve been slacking off man. You fucking wanted this, and now you’re throwing it away. What is your problem?” Sam got into your face.
“My problem! You want to know what my fucking problem is!? Its fucking everything. Everything I’ve ever worked for I just fuck up Sam, I don’t have brains like you, Josh or Danny. I just make stupid fucking mistakes and deal with the consequences all on my own. And I’m just a fucking mess.” You pushed him back. Causing Josh and Danny to intervene.
“Yo man, walk it off.” Danny called out.
“No, you know what. Fuck this, and fuck you guys.” You packed your guitar up and left the studio. Driving to god knows where, whichever girl was wanting to fuck you was all you could think about. Of course you thought about Y/N but you pushed her into the back of your mind. All that would be is heartbreak and disappointment.
She didn’t deserve that from you. She needed better and you couldn’t offer that to her, not with your fucked up mentality.
But nevertheless I’m fucking depressed
Another party you were off to. Travis was throwing one this time around, you knew it probably wasn’t best to go considering Y/N would probably be there. But so fucking what. You were so far gone it wouldn’t have mattered. Just as long as you had your bump, booze and a girl by your side.
Throughout the night you kept yourself busy, drowning in your sorrows. Getting a bump whenever you could, and flirting with all the girls that came through. Like you were testing the waters of who would come home with you tonight.
You were so far gone, you could barely stand straight. You ended up sitting on the lounge chair on the deck outside. Lighting up a blunt, smoking it by yourself, while some of your buddies eventually joined you. The four of you bullshitted, then out of nowhere you could hear her. You bit your lip nervously, standing up telling the guys you were just getting another drink.
Making your way into the house, you accidentally bump into her. “Jesus christ!” She yells.
You both look at each other. “Jake…”
“Y/N…”
“I um. Wasn’t expecting you here.” She wrapped her arms close to her chest.
“Don’t worry, I won’t waste your time darling. Going to get myself a drink and maybe another bump or a fuck.” The drugs and alcohol were taking over.
“Real classy Jake. Don’t you think it's time you grew up?” She scoffed.
“I’m grown baby, what’s the harm in having fun?” You smirked.
“Getting fucking high on god knows what and drunk every night is not having fun Jake. You bailed on your last gig.”
“Keeping tabs on me now?” You looked at her with wide eyes.
“Not keeping tabs, Josh asked me to come out. We are lab partners, you know.” She rolled her eyes.
“Look I don’t give a shit. You’re not shit…”
You watched her face get red as her eyes welled up with tears. “Jake I honestly wish you the absolute fucking worst. You are so fucked up… What is wrong with you? How can you think this is okay?” She was starting to get loud with you.
“I’ve been fucked up, you didn’t notice from day one. Haven’t you heard the stories? I’m a fucking mess baby… And no one is ever going to change that. I’m not going to give you what you’re looking for… I don’t do relationships. So stop fucking trying to fix me.” You yelled into her face. Causing her to cower back and she began to sob quietly to herself excusing herself from you.
You punched the wall beside you, screaming to yourself. How much more of a fuck up can you be…
So you stormed off and found some passable looking chick that was down to just fuck. You didn’t care you needed to blow off steam. Get your mind off things, off of her. And this was the way you went about it.
I hide it with sex, and drink till it's fatal
It’s so fucking painful
It’s a mess
The next few weeks you just drown your sorrows with booze, drugs and any chick that was down for whatever with you. Eventually Josh was fed up with you fucking your life up. Waking up with the worst hangover ever. Josh came barging into your room.
“Alright man, I’ve been letting shit slide for too fucking long. You need to sober up. This isn’t fucking you man. What has got you all fucked up?”
Your head was pounding as you adjusted to the real world. “She’s got me fucked up… She’s so.”
“She’s got you fucked up? You got her fucked up!” He was angry. “She called me last night fucking crying, I could barely understand a word out of her. Do you like fucking up the good ones Jake?”
“Of course not!” You felt yourself getting angry, not at your twin. At yourself.
“Then what the fuck is your deal?”
“I need help man… I need something…”
So give me something beautiful
So give me something else
“Jake… you have to want to help yourself… I can’t just.” He sighed.
“I can’t lose her.” You choked out.
“I honestly think that was the last straw…”
“Josh. Please, I need to get better. For us, the band. For her.” You were crying now.
“Well, what did you think was going to happen acting like that?” He sighed sitting beside you.
“I think I love her. But I just, I’m scared. Is that how it’s supposed to be? Am I supposed to be scared of this feeling…”
“Brother… I think you are scared from something actually working out for once. She is… She is exactly what you want in someone. And, man- you need to get your act together.” He rubbed your shoulder.
“So help me…”
I need another miracle
I really need some help, I need a miracle
Her POV
Spring semester had started, you were focused on your apprenticeship. Excelling in it, just as you suspected. You had grown close with Josh, becoming quite close even with the hurt Jake had put you through. Josh had apologized for his brother's actions even though it had nothing to do with it. As Jake was his own person and could own up to his own actions.
“Just come to our show Saturday.” Josh smiled softly, paying for your guys’ coffee.
“Josh… I don’t know.” You sighed quietly.
“I swear on my life. It will be worth it. And Jake… He. He’s better.” He beamed.
You looked at him with a serious look, but there was hope in his eyes. Hope that you would go, in not just support of him but the rest of them.
“Fine. But if Jake does some fucked shit, I’m a goner.” You had a serious tone, grabbing your coffee as it was called.
“I promise, he’ll be on his best behavior.” He smiled softly. “And besides, I want you to meet this guy I’ve been seeing… His name is Ethan. And I want to know what you think of him.” He blushed talking about this new guy to you.
“Okay, well now you just have to fill me in on everything!” You giggled softly as the two of you went on your daily walk.
Who’s left when we’re all for the taking?
Saturday came, you had opted to wear jeans and a t-shirt for the gig they were playing at the local bar. You didn’t want to wear anything flashy as you were going in support of your friends' band.
When arriving at the bar, you decided to start a tab getting yourself a Tequila Soda. You opted to sit at the bar with the perfect view of the stage. Seeing Danny and Sam finishing up on setting the stage up. While noticing Josh out of the corner of your eye, you waved to him with him waving back.
In a couple of minutes the guys hit the stage, as you watched them step onto the stage. You felt your heart start to beat quickly when you noticed Jake had actually made it. You drank the rest of your drink asking the bartender for another, as the guys started out their show.
Throughout their set, you paid close attention to Jake and how he played. You haven’t been able to see them just yet so you were mesmerized by his skills. You knew Josh had a beautiful voice from the times you’ve hung out. But you didn’t know Jake was amazingly talented.
Although in the back of your head all you could picture was how he had treated you. And how fucked up he was the last time you saw him, it had you wondering if he had gotten his act together. Or if he was still the same old prick you were facing the last two times.
No lives left to bet on obeying
Once their hour long set was finished, Josh had rushed over to you embracing you into a hug. “I’m so glad you came! What did you think?” He pulled back, raising an eyebrow.
“You guys are amazing! You didn’t tell me the talent you all had!” You playfully punched his arm.
“Jake has. Something’s changed, and honestly I think it makes us sound better.” He smiled softly.
You gave a hurt smile, that you knew he wouldn’t pick up on. And order the two of you a drink. “So where is this lovely Ethan?”
“He should be coming back soon, he went to the bathroom before I came over here.” He smiled while taking his drink you got him.
“Over here!” Josh flagged him down to join you two.
“Sorry, it was crowded as fuck over there.” Ethan giggled softly, embracing you into a hug. “I’m Ethan, you must be Y/N! Josh always talks about you.”
“The one and only. Best lab partner ever! But also the bestest friend.” You smiled softly. You were happy to see Josh glow with him, yet you felt a pang as you were missing out on something like that.
For the next hour you learned a lot about Ethan and came to find that he was going to school for film. Which was one of the many reasons Josh was so interested in him. Ethan had even offered to be one of your clients for when you can start tattooing on actual clientele which would be relatively soon.
Suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder, looking over to see it’s Jake. You took a deep breath smiling softly.
“Hey… Is it okay if we, uh. Talk?” He scratched the back of his neck.
“Sure…” You stood up from the bar stool telling Josh and Ethan you would be back.
What are we calling it?
You felt your nerves practically shaking. You were scared, excited, and had all these emotions going at the same time. The two of you decided to step by the one area that wasn’t as crowded in the building.
“So um.” He started nervously.
“Before we continue I just want to make sure… You’re sober right?” You felt bad for asking, but wanted to make sure this wasn’t going to be another bad evening.
“I’ve cut out the hard drugs… I’m just smoking and drinking now. But I’ve barely had anything tonight.” He looked at you with honesty in his eyes.
“Okay… go on.”
“Look, I know I haven’t been the best person out there… And I know I’ve completely avoided you, abandoned you and was overall and outright dick to you. And that wasn’t fair to you…” He took a deep breath.
What does it cost?
“I was just… In over my head, when you found me. I didn’t know how to handle myself, or what to feel or how to feel. I’ve been broken for a very long time. And I just…. I love you to death-” He looked at you before you cut him off.
“But I’m drowning…” You sighed softly, looking into his sad eyes.
He tilted his head with tears threatening his eyes, stepping closer to you. He grabbed your hands, lifting them into his.
What are we calling it?
What does it cost?
“Jake you… You have put me through so much… And-“
Suddenly his lips crashed into yours pulling you closely to him. As you kissed him back passionately cupping his cheeks with your hands, as his wrap around your waist.
So give me something beautiful
The two of you separated from one another slowly, taking a breath. As you steady yourselves, looking at one another.
“You have to mean it Jake… You can’t just throw love around-“
“I do mean it! I- I’ve been cleaning my act up since. Josh practically knocked sense into me… I just. I’m stubborn and a fucking handful.” He gave a sly smile as he chuckled. “I just… ever since. Fuck I don’t even want to speak of her really. I just never believed I could love again… yet here you are.”
“Like I’m some sort of miracle…” You giggled softly looking at him.
He shook his head, smiling softly. “Yeah… like a miracle. Come on… Let’s get out of here.” He grabbed your hand.
“Wait! I have to tell Josh.” You looked at him with pleading eyes.
“Fine, I don’t want him thinking I scared you off again.”
The two of you walked back to the bar together standing beside Josh. “Hey, we’re gonna leave. Everything’s alright.” You whispered to him, smiling softly. “Now you have a fun evening with Ethan, and it was so lovely meeting you!” You hugged the both of them before closing your tab out and leaving the bar with Jake.
“You and Josh must’ve gotten really close, huh?” He smiled softly, walking you to his car.
“Yeah, we have. He’s honestly one of my best friends now…” You smiled softly as Jake opened the door for you to get into his car. Getting into his car you put your seatbelt as he gets around to the other side.
The drive back to the apartment he and his brother shared wasn’t too far from the bar. And surprisingly wasn’t too far from your dorm room either. The campus had everything relatively close to one another, which was a nice advantage.
After Jake parked his car, he got out helping you out of his car. The two of you walked up two flights of stairs before coming to the door of his apartment.
“I apologize if it's a mess… Partially my fault. But we’re managing.” He chuckled, taking his shoes off, as you did the same.
“It’s fine really. At least you have your own place. I stay in a shitty dorm.” You giggled softly.
“So…”
“Well, you have me here. All alone…” Speaking in a sultry tone.
“That I do…” He smiled pulling you close to him and he pecked your lips softly. Before pulling you in for a deeper, heated kiss.
You reciprocated back, wrapping your arms around his neck as he hoisted you up carrying you to his room. Giggling against his lips softly, he placed kisses against your jawline. As he got into his room he shut the door laying you on the bed softly.
He trailed kisses down your neck, as your hands played with his hair. You felt a flood of arousal to your panties, his hands went underneath your shirt, toying with your bra as he unhooked it, removing it while pulling your shirt off as you assisted him.
“You’re so beautiful…” He smiled, capturing your lips again, while using his one hand to massage your breast while the other toyed with your nipple. Eliciting a whine from you. That same nipple he latched his mouth, licking and nibbling at your hardened nipple.
“Fuck, Jake…” You left out a quiet moan.
“Don’t be shy baby, it’s just us…” He smiled softly, encouraging you.
Tugging his shirt off, you can see his bulge through his tight black jeans. Just wanting to be set free, you started to undo his buckle to help make the process quicker. After a little bit of back and forth shared kisses the two of you were finally completely bare in front of one another. You blushed as you covered yourself up slightly with his comforter.
“Baby…” He tilted his hand crawling over to you. “S’just me… You want to treat that pretty pussy nice?” He smiled softly, lowering himself as he peppered kisses along your stomach.
You nodded as a whimper escaped your lips. “Treat it real nice…”
He smiled softly, kissing the inside of your thighs leaving marks behind. Once he nestled himself, he licked a slow stripe causing you to shudder. After his first taste back he hummed, “I’ll never get over this…” Attaching his lips to your bundle of nerves, he continues to lick and flick his tongue. Earning nothing but profanities and cries of his name.
He then moved down a little to nestle his nose right against your clit as his tongue was prodding your entrance. He continued to fuck you with his tongue as he shook his head back and forth causing you to get closer to your orgasm. You felt your legs start to wrap his head, but he used his hands to hold them as he kept lapping at you.
“Oh, god. I’m…” You tilted your head back as your orgasm rippled through you. Your legs began to shake, as Jake licked every drop he could get. Before coming up and kissing your lips softly.
“I could get used to that…” You giggled softly, caressing his cheek.
“I’ll do it whenever you want, however you want, angel…” His cheeks were pink as he smiled at you. He went to the night stand to grab a condom.
“Wait.”
He looked at you, raising an eyebrow, “What’s the matter?”
“I’m on the pill, and I’d much rather… Feel all of you.” You blushed.
He smiled, retreating back, and looking at you. “You’re positive you want to do it without it?”
“Unless you’re not telling me something?”
“I’m as clean as I can be.” He chuckled softly, “I’m always prepared.” He lined himself up with you, tapping his cock against your sensitive clit before pushing into you.
You placed your hands on his arms as he slowly dragged his cock into you. Letting you adjust to him, feeling the slight burn from the stretch. After a little his thrusts became a steady pace to help ease you. You could feel him throbbing and pulsing inside of you, earning a moan from you.
“You feel like heaven…” He groaned as he brought his head down to kiss your lips softly. You groaned against his lips as his pace picked up. You wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him in closer as his hips snapped with purpose.
“Fuck” You moaned out again, as his mouth moved to suck on your tit licking and bitting at the nipple. His thrusts became more harsh as he fucked you harder, hearing you skin meeting one another as it bounced off the walls.
Jake eventually pulled back, to watch where you two connected, watching as he fits perfectly with you. He slowed down to do long languid thrusts watching you fall apart on him. He spits directly onto your pussy, taking his thumb rubbing circles causing you to go into your second orgasm of the night.
After letting you come down, he then pulls out earning a whine from you, as he smiles softly. “Come on baby… I want to watch you.” He sat against his headboard, while you straddled his lap taking him to line yourself up before sinking down onto him.
The two of you make an audible groan from the feeling, his hands placed firmly on your hips, kneading into your skin as you start to ride him making figure eights with your hips. Placing your hands on his tattooed covered chest. You could see the finer details of the work he’s had done.
Jake sneaked his one hand up to your breast, pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. Eliciting a whine from you, causing you to bounce on his cock.
“That’s it angel… Just like that.”
He lifted his legs slightly to start thrusting up into you. So as you would come back down, he would hit that right spot inside of you.
“Can you give me one more?” He kept thrusting into you, as he groaned nearing his.
“I- I don’t know…” You felt your legs growing weaker.
“Yeah you can. Come on…” He encouraged you, holding you flush against his chest as he started fucking into you. Wrapping your arms around his neck as he rocked into you. Your clit was brushing against his pubic hair just right, bringing you to the brink of your last orgasm he was able to rip through you.
“That’s my girl…”
His girl, you pulsed around his cock as you rode your orgasm out. He wasn’t too far behind as you could feel him twitching.
“Where, baby?” His breathing was labored.
“Inside…” You looked into his eyes, both of you completely fucked out.
His eyes rolled back as one final snap of his hips, he stilled inside of you filling you up making you more full then you were. He rested his head against your chest, kissing it softly.
Lifting his face with your hands you kissed his lips softly. And he responded back with an even deeper kiss.
“I love you…” You mumbled against his lips.
“I love you.” He murmured, smiling against your lips. He pulled away slowly looking into your eyes. “Thank you… for being patient with me. And giving me a proper chance.”
“Thank you, for being honest… It means more than you’ll ever know.”
“I’ll be honest for the rest of my life. I’ll never hurt you ever again.” He rested his head against yours.
“My little miracle…”
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Taglist-
@ignite-my-fire @sinsofstardust @char289 @gretasfallingsky @thecoldwind @holybananafuck @thunderstomp-and-tequila @myleftsock @hi-hi-hello11 @brujamagik @fkfearandliveyourlegend @itsafullmoon @wagnerbrainrot @gretavangroupie @gretavanmoon
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sleepysnk · 1 year
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a/n: after much time relaxing, i am back! thank you guys for waiting and being patient while on my break. i appreciate it a lot :). i hope you all enjoy this! <3 mitsuya was highly requested and i wanted to give him a shot!
pairings: mitsuya takashi x fem!reader
warnings: best friend!mitsuya, some angst, mentions of previous talking stages, brief mention of ran haitani x reader, mentions of food, mentions of jealousy, confessions, nsfw, smut, car sex, use of pet names (baby, princess, my girl, good girl), rough(ish) sex turning vanilla, brief spanking, praising, dirty talk, creampie, some fluff.
synopsis: you and mitsuya had been best friends since high school. you did it all together and you both had become inseparable. mitsuya’s feelings soon turned romantic quicker than he expected, but he would only watch from afar as your “best friend.” one day, when your failed talking stage goes south, he decides he’s had enough of hiding those feelings and shows you himself how much he cares about you.
just friends? ft. mitsuya takashi
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Meeting Mitsuya Takashi and having him as your best friend did so many wonderful things in your life.
The two of you had been friends since you were both freshmen in high school. Your friendship had begun when you entered your sewing class which was your second to last period of the day. Like many freshmen who enter high school, you were very jittery and nervous. You had already had a stressful day adjusting to the changes high school had brought to you, and all you desired was to go home and lay in bed. This was going to be your life for the next four years and those shifts in the environment really messed with you. You had already messed up by entering the wrong classroom and were almost late to your third period. 
When you entered the small classroom, your eyes wandered for an empty seat. Some of them had been claimed by others, but there was a free one in the back with a lavender-haired male sitting beside it. 
You hardly expected a guy to be in a sewing class. Not that you had a problem with him being there or anything, but not many guys were interested in fashion classes. However, despite that, you stepped to the back of the classroom and plopped down beside the boy. He didn’t bat much of an eye at you, and he seemed to be lost in thought. He looked to be around your age too, but nonetheless he kept to himself. You didn’t blame him either. It was quite difficult for you to make conversation with other people, especially other freshmen. 
Once the bell had rang, your teacher had introduced herself and began going over the course and welcoming anyone who was new to sewing. It was the same old introduction that was quite repetitive, so you sort of tuned her out while she talked about how she understood how stressful it might be and crap like that. You knew that facade would drop once the middle of the semester had begun. However, you quickly paid attention when you heard her spit out a few words that made any new freshmen nervous. 
“This is a bit of a social class! So, I’d like you to introduce yourself to the person beside you!”
Your heart rate had spiked at that. You had spent the entirety of your day introducing yourself to random classmates, or playing those stupid “get to know me” games. It had become quite exhausting doing such things. You would hardly speak with those people over your next four years, so you didn’t see why it was so necessary to do such a thing. Though, wanting to avoid being in trouble, you decided to turn towards the boy sitting next to you. Much to your surprise, he was already facing you with a friendly grin on his face. It relieved your anxiety seeing him do such an action. Sometimes, people didn’t give two shits about doing those chats with their classmates and just gave off the most awkward vibes ever, making it so much harder to even converse with them. 
“I’m Mitsuya Takashi, you?”
“(Y/N) (L/N).”
“What made you pick this class?”
“It looked.. interesting? I also wanted to learn to sew.. what about you?” 
“I want to become a fashion designer.”
Hearing those words made you all the more interested in becoming friends with Mitsuya Takashi. Eventually, a great friendship did form between you both. You two had become partners in sewing class and did projects with one another whenever it came up. You both had discovered you had the same lunch hour, so you often sat with him and talked about whatever had come up. The two of you had become quite the pair and learned so many things about one another. He had two baby sisters he took care of after school and he had a dream of becoming a fashion designer. It was so nice listening to him talk about different clothing items he wanted to create once he had the opportunity. Mitsuya was truly a great friend to have. 
Days turned to weeks, to months, to four years later. 
Your friendship had lasted all throughout high school. There were some bumps in the road, but you and Mitsuya had gone through hell and back with one another. He had been there for every little thing that had happened. Whether it was drama with friends, receiving your driver's license, gossip about the different guys in your classes, or even stuff about your parents, he was there for you whenever you needed him. You considered him your best friend, and he thought the same of you. The two of you were a great duo and you were blessed to have such an amazing friend like him. He never made you feel annoying or uncomfortable. It was something many people in the past had made you feel, and you were thankful he wasn’t one of them.
Both of you decided to attend the same university together too. Despite your majors being the complete opposite, you both continued going to school together. Some people called you crazy for doing such a thing, but you two loved the idea of having at least one knowledgeable person on campus. Mitsuya also had a great scholarship there as well, so it benefited him heavily. 
Little did you know, Mitsuya had feelings that weren’t just platonic.
Mitsuya knew it was somewhat wrong to develop feelings for you. You two were best friends. He knew that you would never see him in such a manner, but he just couldn’t help himself. He had developed feelings back when you both were freshmen. You were one of the first girls to ever speak to him in such a kind hearted nature. You were so pure and sweet, and your intentions were never malicious with him. He loved talking with you, and you had become such an important person in his life. He didn’t want to admit that he liked you. He ran the risk of potentially ruining your friendship if you didn’t feel the same way about him, so he kept his mouth shut about anything romantic. There were times he’d try and hint at his feelings, but it always went over your head and he feared your rejection of him.
He would always sit back from afar and watch you. He honestly wished he could come clean, because the secret was practically tearing him apart. He had so many thoughts about you it almost hurt him that he couldn’t say anything. 
With unbeknownst feelings, came other eyes to wander on you while Mitsuya stayed fixated. 
There were many guys in your school that had crushes on you, or you had feelings for. Mitsuya would listen to you talk and gossip about the ones you really liked in your classes. He knew listening to you made him feel worse than he already did, but you two were best friends. He didn’t want to tune you out just because of some selfish desire he had for you. He often envied the guys who got to know you on a romantic level. He wished it was him you were talking about every night. To be called handsome or cute by you would make him melt, but he knew that day would probably never come to be. Mitsuya was bummed, but he never wanted to leave your side. Dropping you for something so silly would probably hurt you more than anything else. He loved being your best friend. You truly blessed him in this life.
Now, as grown adults, you both faced many chances for romantic partners. There were several girls that Mitsuya had tried to speak to, but none of them were ever you. They didn’t laugh at his corny jokes or find interest in his little sisters. Some were just looking for a quick hookup, and usually by the end of it he was feeling guilty and not satisfied whatsoever. No one compares to you. He knew that, yet he still tried to continue finding somebody else that could numb those feelings for a little while. The same went for you as well. There were many men who sought you out throughout your first two years in university. Some of them had great intentions, while the others were not so great. The same theme always occurred. Mitsuya listening in on the random guys who made their moves on you. 
However, there was one occasion in particular that had Mitsuya a little alarmed.
One day, you and Mitsuya had met up on campus to study for some finals. You were both in the same math class and you had an upcoming test you had to do well on for your GPA to look nice for the next semester. While trying to study, you both began talking about your days and how it had gone. Mitsuya was listening but the mention of a certain name had made him pause completely in his notes.
“This guy.. Ran Haitani? He’s so hot! He gave me his number today!”
The pen in his hand almost snapped when you mentioned Ran Haitani of all people. Mitsuya had heard plenty of things about the man on campus. He was a year older than you two and he was kind of a heart throb on campus. He partied a lot and every girl swooned over the Haitani brother. Mitsuya never cared much for drama with other guys. If they wanted to play around with people’s feelings, then so be it. He just never liked to be included in such activities. However, hearing that you were involved completely shifted the story. He didn’t want you to possibly get hurt or end up in some crappy situation. You were never really involved in drama like that with guys or even girls for that matter, but he knew full well that Ran would lead you into something bad. He wasn’t the nicest guy and he probably had some malicious intent behind his words. 
Mitsuya contemplated on what he should do. He didn’t want to be a bad best friend and possibly hide information about Ran that could be crucial to your opinion on him, but he didn’t want you thinking he was doing anything out of bad intent. 
“I dunno if that’s a good idea, (Y/N). I haven’t heard the greatest things.”
Initially, his response confused you and he could see it written all over your face. Mitsuya had never spoken against other guys before, so it was very much a surprise to see him doing such a thing now. He feared at that moment he had done something wrong, considering you had been quite silent since he had replied to you. He just wanted to be as honest and crystal clear with you as possible. The last thing he’d want was that idiot Ran guy messing with your feelings. You had a big heart. Mitsuya knew that fully well, but he wouldn’t want anyone else messing around with it like it was a toy. 
“I just.. think he’s cute! That’s all! Plus, it’s not anything serious. Maybe it will be fun, Mitsuya!”
He wished it was just fun to you.
However, like a majority of your talking stages, they never really went anywhere. Ran Haitani was one of them. 
Mitsuya had no clue what happened until you phoned him earlier in the night. You sounded quite annoyed and upset over the entire situation with Ran. He had apparently ghosted you for some reason, and you had no idea why. It was frustrating to Mitsuya to hear such things. These lame guys leaving you for no goddamn reason pissed him off more than he would like to admit. There was so much to like about you. You had this amazing personality and your beauty only went along with that. There should have been guys kissing the ground you walked on. Not ghosting and leaving you for other girls that weren’t even on your level of awesome. He wished he could just tell you how he felt, but there was this devil on his shoulder that told him otherwise not to. It made him so angry, but all he could do was bite his tongue on the matter.
Mitsuya never wanted to admit jealousy. You were your own person, but his roommate, Hakkai, was very quick to point it out. He tried telling his close companion about what had gone down with Ran, and his response didn’t necessarily make it any better. 
“You’re jealous.. that’s what I’m reading here.”
Those words annoyed Mitsuya. Maybe deep down he envied those men that had their eyes on you, but jealousy? No way. 
Being the best friend he was to you, he tried his best to give you the best advice he could on the situation. He told you that Ran didn’t deserve you and that he was truly missing out on what a great girl you were. All you did was thank him and you two had made plans that following weekend to hang out. Mitsuya wished you took his words more seriously, because they were true. Assholes like that never deserved to see how great of a person you were. If he had it his way, he would have knocked them on their asses, but alas, he could never do such a thing. Not without practically spilling his guts out to you about how he’s wanted to date you since he was fourteen years old. 
He did look forward to hanging out with you, though. You were one of the few people Mitsuya genuinely enjoyed hanging out with outside of his classes. You brought so much happiness to the man, so much so he wished he could tell you all about it. 
However, he didn’t expect what was to come once he picked you up that day.
Your hangout with Mitsuya had started pretty casual and normal. He had picked you up from your dorm and you both went out to eat. He ended up choosing the spot that time since you had the chance the previous occasion. It was fairly nonchalant. You spoke about new assignments you had to get done and even brought up a vacation your mother had planned for you over the summer. Mitsuya didn’t have much to say about summer break. He usually had to take care of his sisters while his mom worked the entire day, but he did agree to make plans with you while school wasn’t in session. You guys were practically attached to the hip over summer break. It was hard to find a moment when you two weren’t out and about on the streets with one another.
You two had eventually finished your food and paid for your meals. Once you left the restaurant, you two had gone for a bit of a drive around town. The day was perfect too. The weather was clear and warm, and there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. It had to be one of the greatest days you guys have had in a while.
Once the sun had begun to retire for the day, you guys had traveled to one of your favorite lookout spots in all of town. It was a small clearing that was at the top of a hill. It displayed all of the lights and if you looked far enough you would be able to see the city twinkling in the distance. You guys adored coming up there every now and then, especially when the sunset was pretty. You both began talking about random stuff that was on your mind. Whether it was school or summer plans, you always had something to talk about with one another. Mitsuya always paid great attention to you. You were always so cute when you spoke about something you were passionate about. He could listen to your voice forever if it meant he got to see your smiling face whenever he replied to you. 
Though, Mitsuya hadn’t expected to end up in the backseat with you doing something that was completely shocking to him.
You were both in the back. Your thighs were on either side of him while his cock was buried inside your creamy pussy. Slick trailed down his shaft from how wet you had gotten. Your arms were wrapped around Mitsuya’s neck while he bounced you on his dick. His hands never left the plush of your hips. The grip he had on you was tight enough that it could leave a bruise on your delicate skin. You were so fucking tight. He spent so many nights fantasizing about what it would be like to fuck you in his car, or even on his bed. He never imagined a moment like this would ever come to be. Your pretty tits in his face, gorgeous voice calling out his name like it was a prayer. You were truly a sight to see, and he felt blessed being able to see it.
His pace was set at a rough one. His cock was bullying your walls and practically splitting you apart with each thrust. You didn’t think Mitsuya was that big but my god it was. He was finding all of the spaces and areas that made your eyes roll back into your skull. “M-Mitsuya..! Oh my god!” your hold around his neck tightened as the pleasure increased in your gut. He was doing everything to make you see stars, and you were living for it. 
Your voice calling his name set that fire within him ablaze. He began to roll your hips on his cock, watching with every move how your body reacted to him. Mitsuya gritted his teeth from how greatly you were sucking him in. Your walls clenched and twitched with every inch of his cock entering you. You were taking him so well. Mitsuya had this regret of not informing you sooner of his feelings, or even making an attempt to fuck you. You were like an angel sent from heaven itself just for him. So perfect and beautiful that it was no wonder why all of these men at school foamed at the mouth for such a pretty woman like you. He was finally savoring the feeling of what it’s like to fuck you, and he couldn’t believe it was this exhilarating. What a fucking beauty you were. “Ah! That’s it, princess! Takin’ my cock like such a good girl..” he then landed a slap against the fat of your ass. “F-Fuck.. can’t get enough of you, baby!”
His praise only made you squeeze him harder, earning several grunts from the man. He took a mental note of that and continued fucking you at that pace. You hissed when that sting came from his palm, but nonetheless, it faded into pleasure as he continued rutting into you. 
He wasn’t sure how things led up to this moment. You were both sitting back there, watching the sun disappear behind the clouds. It was an activity you both had indulged in several times since you both became friends. You were conversing about random things and, before he knew it, Mitsuya had kissed you. He completely lost his self control and you both began making out with each other. He tried to apologize for invading your personal space and pause before things went in another direction, but you hushed him by grinding onto his aching cock and pressing your lips against his own. Mitsuya could hardly believe that it was finally happening, but you were just too addictive for him to say no. He had been wanting a moment like this for so fucking long that letting it slip through his fingers would fill him with regret. God, he wanted you so fucking badly.
Both of you were in complete bliss. Mitsuya was showing no signs of stopping, but to be fair, you didn’t want him to stop. He was placing you on cloud nine with how great his cock was. It had been such a long time since you had sex this great. You weren’t sure why it was hitting differently. Maybe it was because you were fucking your best friend of almost six years in the back of his car. There were a few times where you thought about what Mitsuya would be like in bed. You never shared those thoughts out loud, but they often plagued your brain more often than you would like to admit. 
The sound of skin slapping against one another filled the car. Mitsuya’s hands squeezed the underside of your thighs while his cock kissed your g-spot rapidly. Sharp gasps filled his ears whenever he reached that button inside of you. He smirked to himself knowing he had found it and continued abusing it. “Shit.. you like that, baby? Heh.. bet I fuck you b-better than those assholes you mess with, yeah..?” he reached forward and squeezed your throat with his hand, causing a whimper to escape your lips. “Tell me, baby, tell me I’m better..” 
Though your breathing was slightly labored due to his grip on your throat, you managed to open your mouth to speak. “Y-Yes! You’re – ah! – so much better, Mitsuya..!” you nodded your head, desperation dripping from your voice. 
He released the hold on your throat and pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. Your lips were so soft and puffy. He didn’t want to ever stop kissing you. Your hands tangled themselves into his lilac hair, tugging and pulling at the strands from how high the ecstasy made you feel. Mitsuya swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, silently asking for permission to enter your mouth. Once your lips parted, his tongue darted into it and the kiss became deeper. He swallowed down all of those delicious moans and cries of pleasure. He almost chuckled when he felt you struggling to kiss him back. He was hardly doing that much to you, and you were already weak for him? How fucking cute of you. He knew you would be a total sight during sex. Mitsuya envied any guy that fucked you before he did. They probably didn’t pay attention to the most beautiful parts of you. Like the way you gasped whenever he touched your g-spot, or the way your pretty skin felt under his fingertips. Not him, no, he paid attention to every little detail there was on you.
His heart had been betraying him that entire time. It screamed to pour out those feelings he had been trying to mask for the last few years. Mitsuya Takashi was madly in love with you, his best friend. He yearned to finally let his real self be shown to you, but he feared so much. You could easily reject him and never speak to him again, but he wanted to be a part of your life whether as your best friend or your boyfriend.
Mitsuya was cracking and he finally reached a point where he could no longer conceal that side of him. He had to tell you. He was practically burying himself inside your guts right now, and the excitement of it all was pushing him to do such a thing. “F-Fuck.. (Y/N).. I love you..” he pressed his forehead against your own. He made direct eye contact with you. Your eyes were clouded with pleasure and, to be honest, it didn’t seem like his words had registered through your brain. “‘Love you so much.. I can’t h-hide it anymore..”
Your eyes went wide at his statement. You had no idea that Mitsuya felt that way towards you. You thought his love for you was platonic and more brother-like, but romantic? You hardly expected those words to slip from his lips. It was a lot for you to process, especially since your brain was quite literally mush at that moment. If anything, sleeping with him proved that you felt the same way towards your best friend. You knew your feelings for Mitsuya weren’t just regular ones anymore. The way you thought of him, the amount of time you spent with him. There was a reason you wanted to be around Mitsuya more than any other guy. It may have not been love, but your heart pushed in his direction more than anything else. 
Your silence made Mitsuya’s heart drop inside his chest. He worried that you didn’t see him in such a light, and it was honestly embarrassing. However, he knew this was probably the reality of his situation. You didn’t feel the same and he was okay with that. Those thoughts were quickly interrupted when you pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn’t rough or aggressive by any means. If anything, it felt real and he swore he saw sparks fly when your lips connected with his. His thrusts soon slowed and your hips were now slowly rolling along his cock, earning a few grunts from him. Just as quickly as you kissed him, you pulled away to look at your best friend. “I like you.. Mitsuya.” your face burned with those words escaping your lips. 
He was in a state of shock. He couldn’t believe you were being truthful with him. He could easily tell when you were lying to him about something, but you were so fucking genuine that it made him want to jump for joy. Instead of saying anything else, he pulled you in by your neck to kiss you. “Come here, baby..” he whispered, then captured your lips with his. He then began to slowly rut his hips up into you. Those relentless thrusts turned savory and slow, allowing both of you bathe in each other’s embrace properly.
His hand rested on your waist, guiding you as you rode his cock. You were getting close to your high. That knot inside your belly was tightening with each thrust of his hips. You sought that release more than anything else. Mitsuya could sense it too. Your body was behaving in such a manner that practically gave it away. You were becoming whiny and your thighs were beginning to tremble beside him. He wanted to give you such a great orgasm that you wouldn’t need another man to do it for you. Only he could do such a thing to your body. 
Your nails dug into the skin of his shoulder. The white hot pleasure in your gut had you practically crying his name. You pulled away, disconnecting the kiss between you two. Mitsuya saw how needy you were for him and his cock. He thought you looked so fucking gorgeous like that. “M-Mitsuya..” you whimpered, making eye contact with the man sitting before you. “Please.. fuck.. ‘m gonna cum. Need you so badly..!” 
Mitsuya increased his pace just a little, allowing you to inch closer and closer towards that desire you had within you. He watched your jaw fall slack and several high pitched moans slip from your lips. “C’mon.. be a good girl, princess.” he then began toying with your puffy clit, causing your hips to buck at the doubled pleasure. “Never gonna let anyone break your heart again..! I promise to t-take – ah! – good care of you.. you’re my girl..” 
Within seconds, your pussy clamped around his dick. Your orgasm rippled through you harder than you had expected. Your entire body began to shake and a loud cry of pleasure filled the car, bouncing off the walls. Mitsuya had also reached his high with you as well. His cum filled your cunt, covering your walls with sticky white seed. A mess had coated the base of his cock. The creamy white ring circled around it, allowing several noises to be heard as he slowed his thrusts down. He honestly couldn’t believe that you two had done such a thing with one another. However, he had zero regrets doing what he did. He was finally able to come clean with not just you, but also himself. He needed that release more than anything else. 
You slumped against his body. Your body was quite tired and you were twitching from your climax. Mitsuya’s hand landed behind your back, rubbing small circles on your skin. The temperature inside the vehicle had gradually increased from your activities, so the heat was uncomfortable. Sweat clung to your skin, leaving a small shine to your flesh. Neither of you gave much care, though. All you could think about was each other. 
You turned your face so you could press a small kiss against Mitsuya’s cheek. He couldn’t hide the smile that had formed on his features when your soft lips made contact with his skin. He held your body tighter against his own, making you feel safe with the man. “I meant what I said..” you whispered, letting your eyes fall shut. “I really do like you, Mitsuya.”
He chuckled, resting his head against your own. “I meant it too, (Y/N).”
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steddieas-shegoes · 2 months
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love doesn't wait
for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'this one's for you'
rated m | 685 words | cw: implied/referenced sex | tags: famous corroded coffin, side steddie, jeff's love story, love confessions
💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
Jeff didn't really think much about finding love, his focus too honed in on becoming a rockstar for most of his childhood and young adulthood. He hooked up, sure, but it was rare, and never lasted more than one night.
Love was for later, after he had hit singles and Grammy awards and music videos.
But love doesn't wait, and it certainly doesn't come when you plan for it.
Amy came out of nowhere.
She was front row at a show, and Jeff swears the spotlight stopped right on her. Eddie jokes that it was the angels pointing her out just for Jeff.
He managed to get security to find her right after the show, invited her backstage, and they were barely apart ever since.
She was on summer break from college, so she had nothing but time for him for two months.
It was fast, it was a little stupid, and it made him realize that being a rockstar wasn't everything he wanted.
On the last night that Amy would be with him, she stood backstage with Steve and Sam, watching with a fond smile as they performed.
"It's been great being so close to home, Indy!" Jeff yelled into the mic. "If it's okay with you, we're gonna take it slow for the next song. I've got a special someone here with me tonight. She's heading back home tomorrow and I'm gonna miss her pretty bad. This one's for you, love."
Jeff wasn't a big fan of playing acoustically, reserved their slow songs for Eddie's serenading of Steve most nights. But this was his way of saying what he'd already wanted to say for a while, and the guys had supported him.
"You get used to it," Steve nudged Amy's arm towards the end of the song, smiling at her as she wiped tears from her cheeks. "Kinda. Don't know if it's possible to ever get used to being serenaded in an arena full of 15,000 people."
"Yeah. This is a little crazy." She laughed when Jeff finished the song and threw a wink her way. "I don't wanna go back."
Steve looked over at her, curious, searching for any sign of her lying. When he didn't find any, he smiled. "Then don't. No one said you have to go to school right now. Life happens out of order sometimes."
Amy couldn't take her eyes off of Jeff as she nodded. "My parents will kill me."
"I've got plenty of experience with murderous parents." Steve placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing once. "What you've got here is worth more than their approval."
He walked away, probably to get snacks for the guys ready in the room backstage. They only had a couple more songs before they'd be done for the night.
Amy watched Jeff finish up.
She knew what she wanted. She knew it would be hard to do.
She knew it was worth it.
****
"I'm gonna stay," she whispered to him that night in bed, still coming down from the high of the show and the two orgasms he'd wrung from her so easily. "Can I?"
Jeff's arms tightened around her. "What about school?"
"I can go back in a few years. I don't wanna miss this with you."
"Won't your parents be mad?" He asked, tilting her face up by her chin to smile down at her.
"Yeah. But they aren't the ones who have to live my life. I love you and I wanna be with you."
"You love me?"
She slapped his chest, laughing. "Of course I do! You just sang a song for me in front of a huge crowd after two months of holding my hand everywhere we go."
"Well, when you put it like that..." Jeff rolled over until he was hovering over her, smiling down at the love of his life. "I think it's pretty clear I love you too."
"Maybe you could show me one more time tonight?" She kissed his neck, smiling against his skin as he groaned.
"You're lucky you're so hot."
"No, you're lucky I'm so hot."
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hippolotamus · 5 months
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Who would I be if I didn't come barreling in with queer feelings??? Inspired by this post from my wife @bidisasterevankinard, this morning's therapy session and a few too many listens to Cleopatra by The Lumineers 😘
late for this, late for that | 7x06 coda | 757 words | G
“Not late. Right on time,” Evan sighs, content and sated, turning in his arms so they’re back-to-chest. It allows him to settle into his newly discovered love of being the little spoon. And Tommy’s new found love of indulging Evan.
“Good to know.” He presses a kiss into Evan’s mussed, disheveled curls, chuckling at the light snores his – boyfriend? Date? Guy he’s seeing? – is already making. 
If he’s being honest, ‘right on time’ is the furthest thing from what he feels. Evan hasn’t said as much, but Tommy suspects he’s started to question things about himself. About his life in general, past interactions, romances, friendships, crushes. Eventually he’ll likely face one of the biggest, if not the biggest, questions. How could I not know? 
As someone who went on a similar journey, he’ll do his best to guide Evan through. He wants to wave the proverbial magic wand to produce easy, matter-of-fact answers and soothe any wounds, but Evan will have to do that part on his own. Eventually it becomes a rewarding experience, making those discoveries, but he knows as well as anyone that it can be a bitch of a road to travel. An often dark pathway loaded with unexpected landmines. Full of monsters that go ‘boo’ at the very worst times, usually just when the dust of the last jumpscare has settled. 
Not for the first time – and likely not for the last – the notion makes Tommy wish they could have met earlier. That he could somehow turn back the clock to meet himself earlier so he could be there for Evan. He’s already put himself through the wringer, in therapy and in his own mental torture chamber, about why he lied for so long about who he is. But, as his therapist reminds him over and over again, these things are never truly done. There are often new layers unveiled, triggered by different circumstances. Sometimes big and loud, sometimes ordinary and everyday. Tommy thinks Evan might be a bit of both. 
Either way, here he is, wondering how his own life might have been different if he hadn’t denied himself for so long. If he could have been brave like Hen and said ‘this is who I am’. Because it’s not as if he didn’t know. Tommy knew exactly who he was, who he is. He’s known since the first time he kissed CJ, his high school football team’s defensive tackle, behind the bleachers after practice one late summer night. God knows he had been questioning for a hell of a lot longer. 
However, he can’t time travel and change things. He can’t give past versions of himself options that didn’t exist. Well, technically they did, but it meant blowing up his entire life and being ostracized. While Hen didn’t have anything to lose, because she was already being isolated by that era of the 118, Tommy did. 
He had what he thought were friends, though, really, most of them were alliances. People he accepted as friends for the high cost of burying his identity. Paid for with girlfriends and the occasional male sex worker when he really needed to let go. With living an empty, lonely, fraudulent existence, constantly saying no to the things and experiences he craved. Because saying yes - to ‘just one’ gay club, one pride event, one secret boyfriend willing to be called girlfriend for appearances - meant risking being found out. Meant taking a wrecking ball to the carefully curated macho persona he’d built for protection. Meant having all of his ‘meaningful’ supports and relationships ripped away. It was bad enough that his own parents couldn’t be there for him. He didn’t need the camaraderie of firefighting taken away, too. 
Evan snorts and snuffles, pulling Tommy back to the present. He turns in his sleep, somehow burrowing closer as he throws an arm across Tommy’s waist. His mouth is slack and parted, breathing calm and even. 
A wave of fondness washes over Tommy as he watches his… Evan sleep, blissfully unaware of all the things tumbling around in his brain. It’s an emotion he hasn’t felt in a while, not like this, but he’s grateful for how naturally it seems to want to return. 
Maybe they couldn’t meet earlier or change their histories, save themselves or each other from pain. But they’re here now with their combined battle scars, ready for something, whatever that looks like. And isn’t that better than never? So, perhaps what Evan said was true. Maybe he’s not too late and they’re right on time. 
part 2 (Eddie's POV) here
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hotvintagepoll · 6 months
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Propaganda
Joan Crawford (Dancing Lady, Mildred Pierce, The Women)— God, where do I start!!! Her face is so UNIQUE and compelling and stands out so much. I love her thick brows and high cheekbones. She has a school-marmy hardness too her that makes her a little scary and therefore sexy. Her low thick voice also does it for me. Despite being an unusual looking woman with an unusual face, she never loses her glamour. Just a gorgeous talented actress, AND she was some sort of gay!!!
Priscilla Lane (Arsenic and Old Lace, Saboteur, The Roaring Twenties)— I see Priscilla Lane in Arsenic and Old Lace every year during my Halloween rewatch, and I always love watching her. She had a rubber-face for comedy, while still looking adorable no matter what funny face she’s making. She seems to have had a slightly fuller mouth than was the thin-lipped vogue at the time, and every time she pouts at her forgetful new husband, she looks so gosh-darn kissable that you understand completely why Cary Grant is so wild to get her on the train to Niagra for crazy honeymoon sex. No wonder this movie nearly got Hayes coded for the newlyweds being too hot for each other.
This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]
Joan Crawford:
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I just love women that are very mean.
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she was a smoke show in every decade, from the 20s to the 60s.
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The classic matronly beauty with amazing eyebrows
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of course there's a space for MILF joan but i want to just take a second and say she was so cute in her early movies (like grand hotel and the women)! those parts often get forgotten but her stardom shines in them just as much as in her older #queen #icon roles
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Misremembered for wire hanger hatred, this original screen queen mastered the art of the comeback and refused to let Hollywood toss her aside as she aged. The term “auteur” is usually revered for directors or writer-directors, but most critics have one actor they’ll give that title to as well: Crawford—anyone who knows classic movies already has a “Crawford picture” in their head. She knew how to style herself and promote herself. She made herself a star and kept herself fixated in the Hollywood firmament. What’s hotter than knowing just how hot you are?
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(don’t think about Mommie Dearest right now) Joan was known for being super nice to all the like crew of the movies she worked on and she’d get everyone gifts. Joan would hold movie nights at her house and knit at the back of her home theater. Joan was sooo obsessed with other women including Greta Garbo, whos dressing room she would obsessively and purposefully walk by. She said that while working on Grand Hotel, Garbo grabbed her face and “if there ever was a time in my life where I would’ve been a lesbian, that was it.” But like Joan also probably did sleep with women including Barbara Stanwyck. Joan was so obsessed with Bette Davis, screening multiple movies of hers in a day at her watch party, constantly trying to spend time with her or do a movie together, insisting on the dressing room next to hers at Warners and sending her daily gifts… etc. Once Bette said that sex was gods joke to humanity and Joan said “I think the joke is on her.” Joan fucked a lot. Joan got caught publicly fucking a man and sent a letter to the woman who saw them basically saying “I bet it excited you” and the woman was like you know what. It did. Joan was best friends with a gay man. Joan was an actually genuinely good actress even though people mocked her a lot for being like cheap and stupid (partially because she never finished school because her family was broke). Joan was so insane and so cool that’s all.
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Priscilla Lane:
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