sstan-hoe

[sstan-hoe]

Give in Again

part 1/8

summary: You've been (somewhat) enjoying a drink with a young architect--cute, if a little boring--and trying to ignore the constant barrage of text messages you'd been receiving from the faceless creep you've come to think of as Bar Douche when an intimidating stranger named Joel interrupts. // Joel is by turns protective, crass, and completely over-the-top flirtatious, leaving you not quite sure how to respond to him and not quite sure where you stand. You give as good as you get, but Joel just seems to enjoy it. By the end of the night, you've realized something you're not sure how to feel about.

pairing: joel miller x f!reader [no use of y/n, no outbreak au, protective joel is also a shameless flirt, and a little murdery, and maybe a little stalkery]

word count: 7.1k [35k total]

warnings: canon-typical violence; eventual smutty payoff to a slow burn; at some point reader is physically attacked by a man and gets in a fistfight; there is also an attempted drugging; neither of which are by joel; joel just wants to put his hands on you and get you to yell at him a little; and he'll do whatever it takes to get it to happen; possibly including manslaughter; don't worry about it, darlin'

(a/n: NOT a Jackson story, babes. This is a very different Joel!)

The man who’d been talking to you all night—it was either Kevin or Trevor, you hadn’t quite heard him at first over the too-loud country music and the drone of the crowd, and now it seemed too late to ask—had barely turned his back to go to the restroom when your phone buzzed and dread clenched its heavy fist in your stomach.

— Good Christ what a fucking dork

You rolled your eyes at the text message from the contact labeled ‘Bar Douche—DO NOT ANSWER’ and pressed the button to lock the screen, not bothering to reply.

It vibrated again a second later.

— I heard him call you milady

You scowled at your phone and jabbed at the screen.

—It was a joke. Fuck off.

The response appeared so quickly you didn’t have time to scan the crowd to see who was typing.

— HE’S a joke

—Better a joke than an asshole. At least *he* was man enough to talk to me face to face.  

This time, you managed to peek around the room to try and figure out who was typing on their phone, who might be Bar Douche. You spied a few candidates, though no one who looked especially familiar or particularly guilty. But the space was packed enough that you couldn’t really see through the majority of—

Buzz.

— Quit wasting your time w that loser and I’ll show you what a man I am — You just gotta ask nice

Scrolling through screenfuls of similar exchanges, you reached the top to find the date this bullshit had started. Almost a month ago, some jerk had started texting you almost every time someone chatted you up at your local bar. Mostly harmless criticism of the men—once, a very, very vigorous encouragement of a woman and then a barrage of vulgar questions the morning after she’d taken you home—but sometimes there was a sort of dark undercurrent that crept its way through at the other person’s expense. You’d blocked the number, but the messages kept coming somehow; mostly, you just tried to ignore them, but sometimes the urge to fire back was too strong to let go.

— How’s this for nice? Please, please, pretty please, with syrup-sweet cherries and shiny rainbow sprinkles on top, won’t you be such a gentleman and FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF.

— Aint nothin gentle about me darlin — And I know you can beg better than that

Ugh. You grimaced and opened your mouth to mime gagging before locking your phone screen again and putting it facedown on the table at arm’s length.

It vibrated again as your company reappeared through the mass of patrons, and annoyance flashed across your face.

“That happy to see me coming back to you, huh?” Kevin/Trevor said, a smile in his eyes. He resumed his seat across from you at the small table and drank the last two swallows of his beer.

“Just an irritating text message.” You waved a hand at the phone and leaned in conspiratorially. “Some folks can’t take a hint.”

Kev/Trev was actually a pretty prime example; he was doing a truly impressive job of not picking up that you weren’t really interested in talking. He was cute and earnest, but the conversation was flat and unimaginative, all surface-level and no depth. Which wasn’t to say that you didn’t have other uses for him—there were strong forearms under those bunched-up shirtsleeves and you were pretty sure he’d eagerly follow instructions. You’d been waiting for him to make a move for the better part of the drinks in front of you, but the more he talked, the more bored you'd grown, becoming less and less willing to be seduced. You’d considered cutting your losses and leaving while he was in the bathroom, but you came here too regularly to risk the bad blood. So there you still were, pretty well decided that the last of your drink would bring the end of your time together.

He gave a clueless nod and gestured toward your phone. “Can’t say I blame him for hoping you’ll change your mind.” He almost sounded sympathetic, until his gaze dropped to your lips and then your chest, just for a second, before he added, “But selfishly, I gotta say, I’m glad he blew it.”

You chose to try and be charmed by this fumbling attempt instead of cringing at it.

Buzz.

“You were telling me what brought you to Austin,” he prompted. “Your friend from college works at a shop nearby.”

“Opened a shop nearby, yeah.” So close. You told him about Hazel’s bakery and how she’d convinced you to buy the building next door when it had finally gone up for sale. A little over a year later, it was a moderately-successful coffeehouse. You lived in the apartment above it, but that didn’t seem like a good idea to divulge, even as harmless as Kevin/Trevor seemed.

“I think I’ve been there,” he said, pushing his empty glass back and forth between his hands on the table. “Right next to that tattoo shop?”

“That’s the one.”

The businesses shared an entryway that split off through two doorways. It was an odd setup and an even odder pairing, but the tattoo shop didn’t open until it was almost time for your coffee shop to close, so at least it was quiet most of the day before the hum of tattoo guns and the blare of heavy metal started rumbling against the walls. The nights were a different story; despite thick walls and rugs in every room, the sound from the shop carried through the ductwork like built-in speakers. You’d spent many an evening tuning out your downstairs neighbors’ contributions to the ambience of your home.

“Must have someone else working for you sometimes,” he said. “I know you woulda caught my eye if you were the one serving me.”

“Nope.” You swallowed the last of your drink. “Just me.”

Silence settled across the table. So fucking uncomfortable.

Buzz.

You shoved down rising irritation at Bar Douche and scrambled for some balm to smear over the awkwardness in the air.

“I bet Haze covered for me on a sick day or something,” you said. “For an appointment, maybe.”

It had never happened, but Kev/Trev brightened at the out, a golden retriever tossed a Milkbone.

“That must be it.”

Buzz.

Annoyance reached a breaking point and you excused yourself for a moment, snatching your phone off the table as you walked past and hoping like hell you’d come back to an empty glass and an empty table.

You stalked to the bathroom and unlocked the screen, fuming before you even read the messages, all from Bar Douche:

— Goddamn, you look so pretty when you gag — Captain Cokehead is wearing on my nerves — He’s not worth you serving him any kinda way — Now I know what you look like when you lie

The last text sat like a stone in your gut but you did your best to ignore it.

— He’s not a cokehead, and you’re disgusting. GO AWAY.

You washed your hands, straightened your shirt, and went back into the bar, shoving your phone in your pocket as you went. It vibrated before you even opened the door.

“There she is!” Your companion gestured to a pair of fresh-filled drinks on the table. “I took the liberty of getting us a refill.”

Maybe it was the whiskey in your mixed drink, or maybe he benefited from comparison to Bar Douche, but the boring little dude was growing on you.

You felt a buzz against your thigh as you gave him a smile in thanks, then another buzz played over your skin as you sat down.

“You said you were born here, right?” You brushed your thumbs over the condensation trailing down the stem of your glass. “What do you do?”

Buzz.

��I’m with Hoffman-Keller. Been there six years.”

“That’s the architecture firm?” A big one. They owned a high-rise downtown, their name stamped in ten-foot-tall neon across the building’s crown.

“Yeah. Mostly boring corporate stuff, but what can you do?” He smiled and shrugged. “Man’s gotta eat.”

You returned the smile and made to raise your drink to him when a strong, male hand covered your glass and forced it back to the table, almost hard enough to spill it. 

A mouthful of daggers was already halfway up your throat by the time you whipped your head around to face the interloper, but he spoke before you could let them fly.

“See, now, I don’t think this is what the lady woulda ordered,” he said to Kevin/Trevor. Something in his low, drawling voice made you hold your tongue, the hair at the back of your neck rising to stand on end.

You looked up at the stranger, well-built and tanned, his shaggy, dark hair flecked with silver at the temples. A faded, charcoal t-shirt strained over the muscles of his upper arms and chest, all tensed with barely-contained violence.

Distantly, your brain warned you to pull your hand back, but your body wouldn’t obey.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, buddy,” your companion said, playing at lightness but unable to keep the discomfort off his face. “It’s just a, what, an old-fashioned?”

His eyes were wide and pleading as they shifted to you, as though your answer would be his salvation.

Confusion began to ripen into a faint, faraway suspicion. 

“It’s a—” you began, but the stranger corrected him for you.

“It’s a whiskey sidecar, asshole, and I ain’t your goddamn buddy,” he warned. He pulled his hand back and spoke to you with a voice that was kinder but still commanding. “Why don’t you get the barkeep to remake that for you, sugar. Have Frank put it on my tab. Us men are gonna talk about what exactly ain’t supposed to be in a whiskey sidecar, so he don’t ever make this mistake again.”

Kevin/Trevor wore the look of a man staring Death in the face as you rose to your feet. Obedience didn’t usually come to you so readily, but the fog of confusion made you more malleable.

“Take a nice, long drink, son; get you a taste,” the man ordered, pushing your glass across the table. His words were all Texas geniality, but his tone was honed to a cutting edge.

Kev/Trev made a weak, stammering attempt at argument that you didn’t quite hear as you bounced off of patrons on the way to the bar. The bartender, Frank, looked at you and nodded, already making the drink, flicking his attention between you, his work, and the table you’d left.

Pulling your phone from your pocket to have somewhere else to look, you saw the list of messages you’d gotten since leaving the restroom, all from Bar Douche.

— I might be disgusting but he’s damn sure a cokehead — Don’t drink that — I’m serious — CHECK YOUR PHONE

Adrenaline flooded your system and the bar noise grew fuzzy. Had Kevin/Trevor put something in your drink? And Bar Douche had seen it, and tried to warn you? He hadn’t tried very hard, you thought, more than a little bile rising alongside your blood pressure. The glass had been seconds from touching your lips, maybe less.

A close male voice startled you so hard you almost dropped your phone. “You alright, doll?”

Frank set a fresh drink down on the bar before you, placing a glass of ice-water next to it. You looked up into his warm brown eyes and found a little sympathy there, or maybe it was remorse. Had he seen what happened, too, and chosen not to act? You’d grown so fond of Frankie these past months, it hurt to think he might’ve just stood idle while the unthinkable happened in his bar. 

As the thought dawned, everyone else in the room was called into question. Which ones had seen it happen, then pretended they hadn’t? This bar had become your refuge of late, a place you could come when you needed to feel something like ‘at home’ in Austin's still-unfamiliar embrace, and now everything—every one in the room felt a little more sinister, a little less safe.

You turned to regard the dark-haired stranger at your table, taking up so much more space than even his large frame would suggest. He had seen it, too, but he’d stepped in.

Grunts followed by chairs scraping against the concrete floor drew your attention back to the man you’d sat with all night. Unfortunately, it also drew the attention of the rest of the bar, the room falling quiet until only scuffling sounds and old country music filled the space, even those on the dance floor stopping to gawk. The man seized Kevin/Trevor by the shoulder, thick fingers sinking deep into his clavicle as he hauled him over to you, the crowd parting to make space for a spectacle. You flinched away when they approached, pulse surging with proximity to at least one predator, and the stranger yanked him back a step, granting you a little more breathing room.

“What ingredient did you add to the nice lady’s sidecar that you ought not to ‘ve?” the man prompted your trembling drinking companion.

Kev/Trev mumbled a handful of syllables down at the concrete floor, but nothing you could make out.

“Loud an’ proud, now, boy.” The stranger encouraged him with a firm squeeze of the shoulder that you were almost positive you heard crunch.

“GHB! God!” he yelled. It was neither a confession nor an apology; it was only a plea for mercy.

The air was knocked out of you. You barely heard the rest of the exchange.

“Now, what do we say to a beautiful woman like this when we fuck up?”

“I’m—fuck! Goddammit!—I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay? Let me go!”

The stranger jerked Kev/Trev by the back of the neck and thrust him toward the nearest door. He tripped over his own feet and sprawled onto the ground, head just barely missing the edge of the table as he fell. 

“Get the fuck out of here,” the man spat. “I ever see you again, boy, I swear to God, it’ll be the last time anybody sees you anywhere, you hear me?”

Ice and fire crackled at the edges of his words, and you believed he meant every single one. Good.  

Kevin/Trevor fled the room like his ass was on fire, not looking back once as he barreled through the gawking crowd.

Your savior took the drink from your table—still untouched—and returned to the bar. He reached over and dumped it into the sink himself, the both of you watching as it slipped down the drain.

The white noise of conversation in the bar had almost returned to normal by the time the man settled onto the stool next to you.

“I ‘preciate it, Joel,” Frank said, sliding a tall, frosty mug of beer in front of him with a nod. “Owner says I’m not allowed to fight anymore. Round’s on me. Both of you.”

The stranger—Joel—dipped his chin in thanks, but you couldn’t decide on a response of your own. You should’ve thanked him, but couldn’t manage over the roaring in your head. A loud silence settled into the space between you as he drank, until you could bear it no longer.

“So that’s it? He tried to…” You swallowed hard, not quite able to force the words out and not quite interested in trying, so you just shook your head. “And he just…goes home, to try again on someone else?”

Joel turned to look at you fully for the first time, considering you before he spoke. The weight of his attention made you feel small, but you couldn’t tell if it was in a vulnerable way or a protected one. A whispering part of you yearned for the coat you’d left at home, wanting to bundle it around you like armor.

“Thought you wouldn’t like it if I bloodied him,” he said finally, eyes looking for some kind of reply on your face. “I’ll go catch him right now ‘f you want me to, angel—just say the word.”

“I might have taken him home if he hadn’t…done that,” you said by way of answer, rattling yourself with the truth of it. The thought made you sick now. “I thought he was cute. Harmless. Clueless and maybe a little boring, but…”

Joel’s fist tightened around the handle of his glass, muscles in his forearm straining against his skin with the effort.

“Still got the card he opened his tab with,” Frank offered to Joel. 

“Oh, I know where little Trev lives.” Joel scowled like the name tasted bad in his mouth. “Made him show me his ID in case this wasn’t the first drink he messed with tonight.”

A fresh wave of fear rolled through your system, adrenaline sending your stomach lurching as the room tilted around you. Or, fuck, was the vertigo from something Trevor slipped into your drink, now taking hold? The air in the room had gone thin and chill, and even as you gulped it down in huge lungfuls, it didn’t feel like enough.

Joel’s voice pulled you back from the edge of a downward spiral.

“Hey—y’alright, darlin’?”

The world pulled back into focus. “Hmm?”

“You’re hanging onto the bar like you’re about to fall over.” He nodded toward your hands, curled into bloodless claws and clenched so tight the tendons stood out.

“Oh.” You let go and rested your hands in front of you, thumbs fidgeting instead with the glass of your still-full sidecar, turning it in slow, scraping circles. The skin of your palms and your nail beds tingled as blood returned to the flesh.

You felt Joel’s attention on you, still, but couldn’t think of anything to say to dispel it.

I should just go home, you thought, despair carving a black hole in your chest. But Hazel was out of town—had been out of town all week for a wedding back home—and there was no one else you really felt like you could call to come sit with you in case… In case there had been something in your first drink that you hadn’t yet started to feel.

Tears began to burn in your eyes. You stared at the rim of your glass, unblinking, willing the tears not to fall. One fell anyway, traitorously splashing onto your wrist.

Joel’s hand lifted from the bar top but hesitated and then turned into a fist. He shared a look with the bartender and then spun toward you on his stool before standing to leave, blood plainly on his mind and every muscle in his body tensed with the promise of pain.

You caught his arm and he froze, the move surprising you both. He burned fever-hot beneath your touch and gooseflesh bloomed from his wrist to biceps. Your hands must have been colder than you realized.

“Stay,” you said softly, too quiet to be heard over the din of the bar. With effort, you raised your eyes to his and said it again. After a moment, you whispered, “Joel, was it? Please.”

You’d thought you wanted Trevor to suffer for what he’d done, to pay with pain for the fear and grief you’d have to take home with you tonight. And you did—you hoped the little fucker would hurt—but…you didn’t want to be alone just then.

Joel looked down at where your skin met his, brows drawn together in indecision. He warred with himself too long for your liking, so you tugged down on his arm, coaxing him to sit back down on the barstool next to you. Finally, he relented, but he looked almost disappointed in himself.

He sighed, turning to the other man.

“You mind asking Danny to drop me an order of fries, Frank?” Joel asked. “You know how I like ‘em.”

Frankie turned to you. “Anything for you, young’un?”

You smiled at the endearment, or at least tried to. “I’m fine, thanks.”

The barkeep nodded and wandered back to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway to look at you, then at Joel.

The two drinks on the bar in front of you took on an edge of choice. Picking between reality and oblivion seemed an unfair ask when the reality was as shitty and disappointing as this one. Still, keeping your wits about you was probably wise; you didn’t want your guard down around a stranger, maybe ever again.

“So…” Joel’s voice broke you loose from the muddy thoughts that had been dragging you under. “‘Cute,’ ‘harmless,’ and ‘boring’ are what does it for you, huh?”

The answering jab came out of your mouth before you could consider it: “I’m sitting here with you, aren’t I?”

Self-reproach burned you from your chest to the tips of your ears. You’d asked him to stay, he’d done it, and now you were putting him down.

But when you flicked your eyes to his, Joel’s face had loosened with amusement. “C’mon, now, darlin’. You know damn good and well that I ain’t ‘harmless.’”

“So, just ‘boring,’ then?” It at least sounded a little more like teasing this time and a little less like bitching-out.

“And ‘cute.’”

“Mmm.” You grimaced in mock-apology, then leaned closer to him and whispered, “Maybe just ‘boring.’”

An absolute and bald-faced lie; the man was a fucking sight. Though he wasn't exactly 'cute'. Joel was all well-earned strength and rugged features. There was no pretense to him, no vanity muscle or over-groomed slickness, he was just naturally striking. Handsome. It was all you could do not to stare at him in the mirror behind the bar. The only thing stopping you was pride—Joel was watching you like a hawk, taking in every detail of you, every move you made, and he’d definitely notice if your attention fell on him.

“You’re awful mean for somethin’ so pretty,” he said, something like reverence in his voice.

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?”

“It was, actually, but… Reckon I fucked that up a little, didn’t I?”

“I’m sure you’re used to it.” You winced internally and drank from your glass of water, willing it to wash away the edgy feeling in your bones, the wounded-animal snapping that felt like it was happening with someone else’s teeth.

You almost apologized, but it wouldn’t come.

A rack of bottles kept you from having to stare at yourself in the mirror as you faced ahead, but it didn’t block you from stealing short glances at Joel’s reflection. The reflection of his profile, anyway; his body and head were angled straight toward you and he wasn’t being shy about it.

“You see somethin’ you like, sugar?”

The mouthful of water you’d been swallowing almost ended up sprayed on poor Frankie as he happened by with a stack of pint glasses, but you choked it down.

After suppressing a coughing fit, you turned your attention to Joel. “I beg your unbelievable pardon?”

“Oh, don’t waste your beggin’ on this, sweetheart.” He took a swallow of his beer. “I figure you been sneakin’ enough peeks to have an opinion by now.”

“‘Figure’ again,” you said with a scoff, imitating an exaggerated version of Joel’s accent.

“Mm-hmm,” he said, not missing the blood heating your face. Not missing anything, damn him. “Go on, then; ain’t gotta be bashful. Get you a good look.”

Unwilling to back down from his taunting, you spun on the stool, squaring your body with Joel’s, then took a loud, long-suffering breath. Moving from his eyes to his shoes, you gave him a slow, thorough looking-over. Those deep brown eyes were pinned to yours too attentively for you to withstand for long, and you adjusted your focus. His uncombed hair faded into a short beard that had been trimmed, but not in a few days—probably neatened up before going out over the weekend. His wear-softened cotton t-shirt did little to conceal an upper body that was made of what folks down here called ‘workin’ muscle’—the kind of strength a person earned by using their hands for a living. The shirt was tucked into belted, clean-ish jeans that covered thick thighs and ended in well-worn leather work boots. Joel’s posture was relaxed and easy—he wasn’t flexing for you, wasn’t posing, wasn’t trying. Just...letting you take a look.

After a minute, you brought your gaze back to his face to meet his eyes, which you’d wager hadn’t ever wavered much from your own. No, Joel had just watched while you’d appraised him.

“Well?” he asked.

You swiveled back to the bar and brought your drink to your lips, grounding yourself with the feeling of cold glass under your fingertips. The first answer that came to mind wasn’t one you were willing to share. Nor were the second, third, or fourth.

“Your boot’s coming untied,” you finally managed to say.

Joel looked down at his shoe and, fuck, he laughed. He shook his head and laughed, low and rough, and his crinkle-eyed mirth tugged at something within you, but before you could do anything embarrassing like grin at Joel like an idiot, you were granted a boon straight from the Lord Himself when Frankie came out of the kitchen and deposited a basket of fries onto the bar.

They were beer-battered, salted to hell, and if they’d been in the fryer about 30 seconds longer, they’d have been burnt. They were perfect. 

Your mouth watered when the smell hit your nose and you rued your earlier decision not to order anything, but you kept your attention on your drink as Frank put two bottles—ketchup and hot sauce—in front of Joel.

In a beat-to-shit white plastic ramekin, Joel dumped out a measure of ketchup, then dripped a generous amount of hot sauce on top. He slid the basket and the ramekin in front of you and gestured with an open hand.

You shook your head and started to push them back over to him, but he blocked your arm with his.

“Cut it out, now; go on, get in there,” he encouraged, nodding toward the basket. “Night you’ve had? Just eat, sugar, hell, you’re makin’ me look bad. Need me to feed ‘em to you? ‘Cause I will.”

Joel took up a fry and dipped it, then brought it toward your face.

He got about a foot away when you warned him, “Try it and I will bite you.”

“Shit,” he said with a wolfish twinkle in his eye. “Ain’t gotta threaten me with a good time.”

And then he popped the steaming fry into his mouth.

You rolled your eyes but relented before he could try again to force-feed you. Selecting the crispiest-looking fry and dipping it in the sauce to combine the—

“Don’t stir it up, just…trust me.”

Trust seemed like an awful lot to ask for, but you gave it a go. And damn, it was good. You made an appreciative little noise and went back for another, a bit more liberal with the dipping sauce this time.

Might’ve overdone it a touch; a drop of ketchup slid off, but you caught it in the open palm of your other hand before it could land on the bartop. You looked down the bar for a napkin dispenser, reaching for—

Joel laid a napkin over your lap. “Easy, now, darlin’," he said, smoothing it down, then squeezing your knee.

You slapped him away from your thigh with your still-ketchupy hand. "You sleazy, hick-ass hillbilly...asshole." The wind left your sails at the end as his eyes glittered, tickled as shit by your outburst.

“‘S alright, baby, keep goin’; I can handle it.” His gaze washed over you and he licked the ketchup from his skin. “Nice to see you gettin’ your edge back. That ‘wilted lily’ thing don’t suit you.”

All you could think to do was shake your head, still able to feel his fingerprints on your flesh. Nothing you threw his way seemed to faze him, even when it absolutely should have. It was like he knew your bite already, and had decided he was invulnerable to your venom.

“Are you here a lot?” The question left your mouth before you’d really considered it. You shoved a pinch of fries in there to keep any more words from falling out.

Joel raised his eyebrows at you, chewing on a mouthful of his own. “You giving me the ‘come here often,’ sugar? ‘Cause you ain’t gotta try and pick me up, you can just have me.”

“Ugh, no, I— Jesus.“ You were swiftly coming to regret asking him to stay. “You just look familiar. And you said ‘see you get your edge back,’ like you knew what I’m like with my, I don’t know, ‘normal’ edge.”

“Here a few nights a week, I reckon,” he said with a shrug, pushing the empty basket to the edge of the bar. “You’re hard to miss, angel.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Your cheeks flared with warmth.

“Ain’t s’posed to mean nothin’, it just is. You hollered at a man twice your size last week for tryin’ to start shit with that kid in the, uh, what’s it called, protest t-shirt.”

“What’d she call him, a ‘boot-lickin’ pussy’?” Frankie asked, huffing a laugh as he swiped up the basket. “I almost proposed on the spot, but Joel woulda—”

Joel’s glass knocked against the bar top as he raised it to drain the last swallow of his beer, and Frank didn’t continue. 

“Joel would’ve what?” You looked between the men, Frank a little wide-eyed at the end of Joel’s glare.

“Been…disappointed in me. I got me a… lady-friend,” he answered weakly, then scurried back to the kitchen.

You looked to Joel for clarification, but he was checking his watch.

“How you feelin’, sugar? Been a fair bit since you finished your drink and you ain’t tumped over—you ready to get out of here?”

Shit, yes. It had been an hour or more and you felt fine, at least physically. You nodded and slid off your stool, checking that all your possessions were where they should have been.

Over your objections—'It'll be so nasty warm, don't' and 'Oh my god, stop, it's a double you maniac'—Joel swiped your sidecar off the bar and downed it in one go.

"Christ almighty, that's stronger'n you look,” he said, swallowing a cough and patting his pockets in order to drop a few bills onto the bar. Then Joel put a hand on your upper back and steered you toward the street-side exit of the bar, the crowd parting for you with uncharacteristic ease, given the guard dog at your heel. “Let’s get you home, darlin'. I got about twenty minutes 'fore that hits me.”

That sounded optimistic to you on a number of levels, but you only addressed one aloud.

“Not a chance in hell, my guy. A drunk, handsy stranger—” He’d stretched forward to push the door open ahead of you while remaining at your side, and you slapped his hand off of you when it drifted perilously close to your ass. “—is not driving me home.”

“I don't drive when I been drinkin’, angel. Promised my little girl.” He pointed you toward the curb. “We can split a cab.”

Your argumentative nature and tendency to speak before thinking finally paid off for once as you declared, “We absolutely cannot.”

‘Cause, phew, on a normal night, you might’ve been tempted to give a different answer, if you gave yourself the chance to mull the idea over. On a normal night, crowding into the back of a cab in the dark with a good-looking man wouldn’t sound half bad. But tonight hadn’t been normal, it had been—

Bad line of thought. You cleared your throat to clear your head, then switched tracks.

Joel was facing away from you, looking up and down the street and, finding it taxiless, he shrugged and turned your way. 

"You have a daughter?"

He nodded, swiping a denim-clad shin over the wet, backless bench to dry it, then motioning for you to sit. You did.

"Freshman out at A&M. Just couldn't stand the thought of stayin’ home and bein’ a Longhorn, I guess. Wanted to be grown, have an adventure, but she was worried about me." Joel stayed on his feet, but put a boot on the bench near your hip and leaned his weight against it, still steady for the moment. "Told her I'd make good decisions while she was gone if she did the same. …Been a long few months. Ain’t used to the quiet; that girl could talk the ears off a statue."

Fuck, that was kind of adorable.

"And ignoring the wisdom of our elders isn't a violation of that promise?" When he squinted a question at you, you recited: “‘Beer before liquor, never be sicker’?”

Joel waved a dismissive hand and invoked his own country wisdom: "Waste not, want not."

“See how you feel about that in the morning.” You reached over and tugged on his boot laces that had finally come undone, pulling them tight before fastening them back into a bow.

“Wake up next to me, angel, an’ you can see it for yourself.”

Your skin flashed cold with surprise, then hot with…whatever else as you leaned back on the bench and craned your neck to look all the way up at him, so staggered that your brows all but jumped up your forehead to kiss your hairline.

Joel looked down at you, all slow-blinking ease as he alternated between looking you in the eyes or staring at your mouth, the shadow of a smirk coloring his face.

The combination of that look and that angle made your heart race and you got to your feet where he couldn’t tower over you as much.

As he adjusted to the changing view of you, Joel swayed slightly, playing it off by putting both feet back on the ground.

“You’d look so pretty tellin’ me ‘I told you so,’” he said wistfully. “Just imagine it.”

And then you’d had to act like he hadn’t just said a mouthful of words that had knocked you flat. You tried desperately not to imagine Joel in the rumpled light of tomorrow morning—tried not to imagine telling him anything at all from the shelter of tangled limbs and skin on skin.  

“Pass,” you managed. “I know what that much whiskey’ll do to a man, and the ‘told you so’ isn’t enough to make up for it.”

“See, now that sounds like a challenge.” His voice dropped to a husky whisper even though the sidewalk around you was empty for the moment. “I’m immune to whiskey-dick, sugar, but even if I wasn’t, I am a man with a single-minded determination.”

What that even meant, you didn’t know, but you were reading enough between his drink-blurred lines to swallow hard and shoot for the curb when a beautiful yellow taxi appeared on the street and cruised toward you, its hire light a sparkling beacon of hope. You made a tiny, excited noise out loud as you waved a hand toward your salvation. The car drew closer and closer and did not slow down, the light mocking you by switching off just as it passed you by. You splayed your arms in a helpless what the fuck and groaned, the street empty once more.

“Great, you scared the cab away with your…single-minded determination.” You were only half-teasing when you added, “Pervert.”

“You got no idea.”

“Oh, I think I do.” You looked up and down the street for a few more seconds, willing a cab to appear, then gave up and returned to Joel. “You're waiting for me to fall down on my knees for you, just ‘cause you…shared your fries and bothered to stand up for me.”

You knelt down onto the bench and scowled up at him.

“No, baby; ‘course not.” Joel looked down at you, cradling your jaw with his palm and stroking your cheek with a thumb, then coaxing you back to standing. Resisting the urge to flinch from his touch took effort, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of another reaction. “You don’t never get down on those pretty little knees for me ‘til you really, honestly want to. Not ‘til you burn for it.”

‘Til, like it was some inevitability. You rolled your eyes at him. Yep, there went the whiskey.

“Wouldn’t say no to a thank-you kiss, though,” he added, tapping a finger to his cheek and angling it your way to offer it to you.

You gave him another eye-roll instead and patted his face, the last couple pats almost firm enough to be called a slap.

Joel’s eyes darkened at the impact.

“‘S okay, angel, I’ll wait. It don’t come natural,” he said, part admission and part warning, “but I’ll wait.”

“Okay…cowboy,” you said, scrambling for a nickname to answer with. “You go ahead and wait.”

“‘Joel’ suits me just fine, sugar.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t need to give me pet names, either, you drunk weirdo.”

“Hmm,” he hummed as he hooked a finger around a lock of hair and pulled it from behind your ear, mussing you just a little. “How ‘bout just a last name?”

You muttered a lungful of irritated blasphemy, chastising yourself for the stupid little flip your stomach did for Joel’s goofy, forward bullshit. This is not working on you. You have better taste than this.

At last, another taxi came down the street and Joel stuck out a hand without breaking your gaze. He pulled open the door as the car squeaked to a stop, then he took half a step back, barely giving you space to get in without brushing against him. When Joel smoothed an over-familiar hand down your lower back to guide you into the car, you spun and slapped his hand away again without a word, ignoring the tingle along your skin from his touch, and then slid into the back seat. He just raised his brows and looked down to his smacked wrist with amusement painted across his face.

“Such a spirited little thing,” Joel mused with a breathy, thoughtful grunt, like the dessert tray had gone past and he’d seen something he’d wanted to devour.

You were trying to write these antics off as four ounces of whiskey hitting the man’s bloodstream all at once, but your impatience with it was compounded by how conflicted you felt about Joel in the first place, not to mention how much you hated men in general right then.

“Sure you don’t want to scoot over and make a little room for me, sugar?"

“Extremely,” you said, crossing one leg over the other in the cramped space between the front and back seats.

He leaned into the cab, bending over your lap to fasten your seatbelt—cinching it tighter over your hips than strictly necessary and whispering ’safety first, darlin'’ as you glowered at him to distract from the way you squeezed your thighs together—and then he squinted at the taxi license. The scent of leather, oakwood, and musk wrapped around you, along with the heat of his skin and a faint tang of whiskey and citrus from your sidecar. The combination made you want to breathe a little deeper, which kind of pissed you off.

“A’right, Sam; need you to get my girl home safe, you hear?” He passed a bill to the driver, voice gone back to that good ol’ boy tone with its undercurrent of danger. His not-subtle use of the man’s name was only a threat if Sam had bad intentions.

The instinct to balk at ‘my girl’ surged in you, but perhaps it was wisest to let the cabbie believe that someone would notice your absence, that there was someone out there who would defend you. You’d dealt with three asses of varying degrees tonight and you weren’t looking to add a fourth.

“Yessir,” Sam said, deferential by habit. Ugh, Texas. “Where to, miss?”

You hesitated, trying not to flick your gaze to Joel. After the night you’d had, you weren’t about to go spouting off your address in front of a stranger. A weirdly bold and touchy one, at that.

“Rosedale. 45th and Shoal Creek, please.” It was close enough to your place to walk the rest of the way, but vague enough that neither man would know exactly where you lived.

Joel patted your knee, then huffed a laugh when you gritted your teeth against the contact. Entitled-ass fucking men.

“You behave, now,” he bade you. “We’ll talk soon.”

Like hell. You spared a thought to be grateful he’d been too whiskey-addled to ask for your number.

He closed the door and tapped the roof of the car twice, releasing you into the night. 

The cab left the curb and angled toward your side of the city, some jangling Top 40 bullshit warbling from the speakers.

In the solitude of the back of the cab, a thick, heavy despair started to coil itself around the heart of you like a snake, spinning wild what-ifs and worst-case scenarios until you were fighting to breathe through the squeeze of—

Buzz.

Unthinking, you glanced down at the notification on your screen and cringed at the name.

Ugh. Bar Douche. He’d been so wonderfully, mercifully quiet after your night had taken a turn for the worse—after Joel had intervened on your behalf when no one else did.

You were so not in the mood for cryptic fuck-around, and you were just about to tell him so when the messages shot through you like a bolt of lightning.

— You smell so fuckin good — Green apple and brown sugar and whiskey — Want that smell all over me

The bar had been crowded, but there had still only been a handful of people who’d come close enough to you tonight to know your scent—Trevor, who you doubted would be stupid enough to reach out, and who’d been speaking to you when most of tonight’s texts had arrived anyway; Frankie, who had been too busy to be dicking around with his phone; and…

—Joel?

The second you sent the message, you knew it was true, but it didn’t stop your pulse from soaring when he replied a few seconds later. 

—Fuck I like to see you write my name —Be better when I hear you say it for me next time —Bet I can get you to say it so damn pretty

You dropped your phone as though it had become something wriggling and slimy in your hand. 

Joel was Bar Douche. 

Bar Douche had been your protector. 

You had spent the night sharing food and conversation with the man who had been blowing up your phone and watching your every move for weeks. 

And you hadn’t totally hated it.

Next Chapter ->

[sstan-hoe]

a sinner i am part vi

trope: Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader this chapter summary: A trip to the beach has everything with you and Joel coming to a head warning: they finally fuck guys, joel's a dirty old man, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golfand he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. words 5.8k rating: E you guys left so many reviews that i called in sick and wrote this so i really hope you keep leaving me reviews because i love them sooooooooo much xoxoxoxoxoxoox taglist: @lady-viscera | @cjdign | @fuckthatbazinga | @liciafonseca | @stevie75 | @joelalorian | @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff | @akah565 | @dontknow446 | @pedritosgfreal | @yesjazzywazzylove-blog | @untamedheart81 | @ashleyfilm | @sptbear | @elegantduckturtle | @noneofmyshipsarereal | @blahkateisdone | @wintersquirrel | @shivkillian | @auteurdelabre | @sheepdogchick3 | @moel-jiller | @cuteanimalmama | @gossipgirl-03 | @cowboymarcs | @tahi2006 | @guelyury | @churchofjoemiller | @r3dheadedwitch | @tutarrads | @galway-girlatwork | @supertoga | @ghostofzion | @casssiopeia | @tateypots | @yxtkiwiyxt | @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 | @pastelpinkflowerlife | @inept-the-magnificent | @meleekabenjamin | @stevie75 | @animejunki5 | @zooty-and-fruity | @drunk-and-capable | @lunpycatavenue | @joelssluttyknee | @getitoutofmymindwrites | @swankyorange | @joeldidnothingwrong | @thischarmingmandalorian | @604to647 | @pedr0swh0r3 | @annieispunk | @doblasftcisco | @ilmattmurdocksthighs | @bunnybeheaded | @swaggydogsblog | @untamedheart81 | @watermelonslut | @loudtimetraveljellyfish

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part : in deep water

“What a beautiful madness, to explore the darkness in one’s own soul and find joy in the unearthing of such wicked thoughts.”― Wiss Auguste.

"Let's go snorkelling," Shawn suggests the next morning over breakfast. "There's this place about an hour away that looks amazing." 

"I think that sounds fantastic," Tess agrees with a smile. "I need to work on my tan." 

Joel just nods, taking a sip of coffee. You feel a bit of panic at the thought of being stuck with them all day. 

"We didn't bring snorkel stuff." 

"We can rent our gear there babe," Shawn says with a kiss to the top of your head. 

You and Joel just nod and stand, neither of you making eye contact with one another. After he went down on you last night you ran to join Shawn and Tess at the fire dance. You made up some excuse about not being able to find your wristband that they bought. 

When you came back to the room Tess disappeared into the bedroom and Shawn was amorous. You were still wet from his father but you let him cage you under him in bed, moaning in an effort to make him cum faster. It worked, but you were feeling so guilty. As Shawn went to dispose of the condom you flipped into your tummy, sighing into your pillow. 

Now you sit in the back of the Jeep as Joel drives and Tess holds his knee loosely. It appears they've made up from whatever was causing the tension before. You wish that you didn't feel so jealous at the sight of it. 

The bikini you've chosen is skimpy, barely covering your tits and ass. And while you wish you could say you wore it for your boyfriend, the fact is you wore it for his father. You want Joel hard and aching for you because you want more of him. 

Just for this week, you reason. Everything will go back to normal after this vacation.  

Joel focuses on the road ahead as Shawn and Tess chat animatedly. He darts his eyes to the rear-view mirror to see you gazing out at the passing water and he feels his stomach clench. 

When Tess got back last night he thought for sure she would see it in his eyes. That he'd tasted your sweet cunt that he'd made your eyes roll back as you moaned daddy. But she was reconciliatory, even sweet. 

"I'm sorry I've been so angry. I think I'm just getting insecure about seeing so little of you. I'm worried we're growing apart." 

His guilt brought her into his arms, her body curling around his. He intended a sweet snuggle as a reaffirmation that he cared about her because he really does. She fell asleep with his arms around her. 

And then Joel heard the soft moans coming from Shawn's room and he could feel his cock swelling. Your sweet sexy voice moaning brokenly as his son fucked you. Joel tried to ignore it, squeezing his eyes tightly but then he heard the rhythmic squeak of the mattress and all he could think about was the sweet nectar of your cunt. 

Squeak. Daddy Squeak Please Daddy

He stole to the joined bathroom, his footfalls silent. The light was out and he could see the light peeking out from under the door. He stood there, ear to the door and listened to the sounds you made. 

They were weak, uninspired and Joel wanted to gloat about how good he made you feel with just his tongue. He made you arch off the bed, pussy wet and needy. 

But now as the four of you journey to snorkel after grabbing gear from the beach hut Joel is tense. Joel sets up the towels and chairs unable to look away from behind his sunglasses. You're so fucking hot, your breasts the perfect size for his hands.

"I'm gonna tan for a bit first," Tess says before stretching out on her chair. You and Shawn slip off your clothing 

Joel nearly grins seeing the bikini you packed. It's flimsy and tight and your breasts spill out if it enticingly. It's tied in sweet little bows at the hips. 

"I like the suit," Shawn says to you suggestively as you smirk.

"Got it especially for the trip."

He grabs your hand and the two of you rush into the waves with your snorkel gear. 

Joel continues to set up before collapsing onto the chair next to Tess. "You wanna join em?"

"You go on," Tess tells Joel with another yawn. "I'm too relaxed."

Joel is about to wave off this suggestion when your shrieking laughter sounds out from the waves. Shawn has you over his shoulder, tickling you as you attempt to swim away. Joel’s thick fingers curl around the arms of his beach chair.

Stop touching her. 

A wave of possession for his son’s girlfriend t propels Joel off of his sun chair and into the water after you two. 

You watch Joel enter the water from the corner of your eyes. Your pussy clenching as you watch his muscled form glide through the water towards you. He's tanned and broad and you see the droplets bead off of his firm body. 

You and Shawn swim together, splashing and having fun. Eventually Joel swims over, smiling handsomely at you.

"Thought I'd join," Joel says coming near you. You make sure not to look at him. Shawn smiles at his father before pointing.

"I found a good spot over there where everyone says the fish hang out." 

Everyone pops on their snorkel gear, following Shawn. Joel swims closely behind you, watching your ass ripple with every kick. He's getting hard as he swims, trying to distract himself with the colorful fish but all he can seem to fixate on is your body in that bikini. How the bottoms leave so much of your ass exposed and how he can see the outline of your cunt when you dive. Shawn points to something ahead, glancing back at you and giving you a thumbs up that you return. Despite the tension with Joel joining you both you're blown away by the beauty of Hawaii. 

The fish swim by you, their fins skimming along your body as they pass in colorful schools. You twist in the water, amused to see Joel nearby. He's floating, gazing at the small school of fish that come to dance around his face. He looks so sexy like that, focused and unaware he's being watched. Your eyes can't help but go between his legs, seeing the heavy erection there. You feel like you can't breathe but it's not from snorkelling. You swim to the surface before popping out like a cork, tugging the snorkel out of your mouth before coughing profusely. 

Shawn breaks the surface, looking concerned as he pulls the mouthpiece out. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you say still sputtering. “Just inhaled some water."

Now Joel is bobbing nearby, watching you from the corner of his eyes. 

"I'm gonna go a little further out," Shawn tells you and Joel. "You wanna come?"

"Nah this is as far as I wanna go but you have fun I'll meet you back at the chairs," you say breathlessly as you bob in the water.

"What about you, old man?"

"I'm good too, son," Joel smiles. 

"Wimps! I'll see you at the shore."  Shawn laughs and waves at you both before readjusting his snorkel gear and heading further out. There are a few couples swimming out there so you don't feel too unsafe. 

"Pretty out here," Joel mutters from beside you. You glance over to see he's pushed his goggles over his head, brushing back his curls to show off his handsome face. 

"Yeah it's beautiful," you exhale staring at him. His eyes move from the horizon over to you and your gazes lock. 

"S'not the only thing, darlin." 

You know your face is red and it's not from the sun. Joel grins to himself at your shy reaction. You're not swimming away screaming so he pushes his luck. 

"Been trying not to stare at you in that bikini all day," he says as his eyes drop to your chest in the water. A thrill goes through you and you force yourself not to smile. "You really wear it for Shawn?"

You shake your head lightly. "I wore it for you." 

Joel groans softly, aware that his cock is hard and throbbing in the water. 

"Wanted me looking at your sweet fucking body, baby girl? Wanted me hard out here in public? Wanted me desperate knowing I wanna touch you and can't?"

Your eyes shutter but you nod because yes that is exactly what you've been aching for. Joel's eyes slowly scan around the waves noting that Shawn is way out and that Tess is still sleeping in her chair. The other swimmers aren't close to you. The two of you continue to swim but Joel reaches out to place his wide hand at the small of your back. Your eyes fly open in fear as you pull back. 

"Joel they'll see."

"Just looks like we're talking," Joel says soothingly. His eyes don't leave yours. "You just gotta keep your face neutral."

Before you can challenge him on that you feel his other hand coming to slip between your legs. You feel him move your bottoms to the side, knuckle dragging along your slit. Your eyes widen at the pleasurable sensation and Joel chuckles richly. 

"More neutral than that, darlin'." 

You smile embarrassedly at him, eyelashes fluttering when his fingers breach your cunt, sliding up into your core and curling. 

"Fuck," you groan, forcing your eyes to remain open. Joel grins down at you, his legs kicking slowly to keep you both afloat. He thrusts his thick digitts into you, his thumb circling your twitching clit.

He watches the way you start to shatter around him amazed at how quickly he can make you cum. He's never had a woman cum so hard just by being fucked by his fingers.  

You're trying to appear calm, your eyes darting to Tess to make sure she's still asleep before going to Joel's sharp gaze. 

"Doing so good baby girl," he says coaxing you as his fingers go deeper, hitting that spongy spot that makes you whimper. Your hands go to his hips underwater, legs circling his waist loosely holding yourself in place. 

Your eyes are half open, mouth hung open and Joel can't help but nudge his cock against your thigh, desperate for friction through his swim trunks. He hears the soft gasp you make and then the sensation of his fingers being squeezed. You're so close. 

"That's my girl," Joel whispers over the lapping waves. "Gonna come on these fingers?" 

"Yeah," you nod, trying not to moan too loudly. 

Joel continues, holding you to him as he fucks you with his fingers. His forearm flexes and he hopes this still looks innocent. 

"Yeah what?" He needs to hear it. 

"Yes... Daddy," you groan, unable to keep your eyes open anymore. 

"Daddy's making you feel so good isn't he? Out here in front of everyone? Even though it's so bad?"

Joel knows exactly what to say to make your pussy throb. You nod and you rut your hips against his fingers because you want more, you need his cock in you. The sound of a shrieking child from the shore startles you both into breaking apart, your orgasm forgotten. 

"Let's keep goin," Joel tells you with a half curl of his mouth when your heartbeats slow.

"Joel I can't, Shawn is... Shawn is my boyfriend and I don't know what I'm doing," you say swimming back from him. 

Joel feels an ugly heat in his guts at the way you turn on a dime. One second your cunt is milking his fingers and now you're looking at him like he's the asshole? 

"You know exactly what you're doin," Joel frowns, "otherwise you wouldn't be out here flaunting those tits for everyone on the beach to gawk at."

Joel has never said anything this unkind to you in all the time you've known him. It makes you pull back angrily. "Fuck you, Joel." You glare at him before making your way to the shore, heart beating furiously in your chest as you slide through the water. 

Joel watches you leave feeling regret as he watches your tanned form collapse into one of the chairs next to Tess. 

You feel furious at Joel watching him paddle around in the water. He's probably trying to stop his erection before exiting. Shawn appears on the shore, smiling at you and dropping his snorkeling gear next to you on the sand. He shakes his wet hair over you, laughing as you whine through a giggle for him to stop. Tess wakes up, stretching and sighing gently. From behind your sunglasses you look at her lithe body, the plump of her breasts and the way she's slick with suntan oil. It's no wonder you hear she and Joel fucking all the time. 

"I love being lazy on vacation," she says with a laugh when Shawn teases her for being a beach bum. The two of them start to talk about the water and the fish Shawn saw. 

Meanwhile you read for a bit, ignoring when Joel comes in along the shore looking like a Greek god, broad and slick from the water. His shorts cling to his hips and ass and even flaccid his cock is huge. You remember it in your mouth. He catches sight of you reading and takes the seat next to Tess. 

"You're all wet, Texas," she says with a gentle elbow when he kisses her collar. "Get outta here." 

Joel chuckles, speaking with her about dinner as you force yourself to go back to reading about Euripides. You glance up when a shadow is cast over the pages. 

"Gotta return the gear," Joel says nudging your calf with his toe. "Wanna help?"

You are about to refuse when you see regret showing plainly on his tanned face. He wants to talk and you're surprised that you want to listen. 

"I'll help ya, dad," Shawn says about to get up from where he lays on his towel on the sand. You jump up, quick to follow Joel. 

"I'm happy to do it babe," you say kissing the end of Shawn's nose. "I wanna stretch my legs anyway." 

You and Joel gather the rented gear and start moving between the bodies on the warm sand. Joel feels a nagging sense of unease when he realizes you won't even look at him. 

"I'm sorry for what I said before. That was horrible of me. And not the truth at all," Joel tells you on your walk to the hut. "I was just embarrassed I guess." 

Joel Miller is the kind of man who runs a successful business, the kind of man who never says he's sorry. But with you it comes easy after seeing the hurt in your eyes. 

"I get it," you tell him. "It's a weird place we're in. I mean, everything we want is so wrong but..."

".... It feels real right when we're doin it," Joel finishes for you. 

"Yes. Exactly."

The two of you reach the rentals hut handing the stoned teenager the snorkel gear and then heading back on the warm sand back towards Shawn and Tess. 

"I'm open to suggestions on what to do," Joel says. "Because at the rate we're going were gonna get caught and screw up our lives." 

"Maybe we just need to fuck it out of our systems," you say surprising yourself. Joel stops midstride to stare at you. 

"What?" 

"I dunno maybe it's because we haven't fucked properly," you insist, eyes wide and doe-like. "So it's just hanging over our heads making us act insane."

You've thought about this a lot the last couple of days, trying to reason out why you both keep doing this. Joel can't tell if you're serious, but when you don't smile or giggle he knows your are.

"I can't have sex with you," Joel says shaking his head. Then as if realizing what he's saying in the crowded beach be takes you by the wrist and drags you to the large rock face, hidden from view. He drops your wrist when the two of you are in a quiet, isolated area. 

"What we've done already is bad enough," he whispers urgently. "Fucking you with my cock would be so far over the line." 

"But fucking my mouth wasn't? Finger fucking me in the water just now?"

"A'course it was," Joel replies heatedly. "And I’m sorry I have a hard time controlling myself around you. But full sex? That's just, there's no coming back from that. I couldn’t forgive myself for that." 

"Or maybe it's the only thing that's going to stop all this tension." 

You can't help but squirm, your pussy fluttering at the thought of being impaled on Joel's thick cock. 

"I can't do that," Joel says shaking his head. "I'm sorry but I won't." 

Something about his denial sets off a fire in you. This big man who orders his staff around, who acts boldly is insecure for once. He's doubting himself. You step closer to him as he casts a wide eye around to ensure you're still alone. Your hand goes to his pecks, brushing over the muscles. 

"You don't wanna fuck me, Joel? Don't want to feel how tight my cunt would be around your big dick?" 

Joel's pupils grow wide as you speak and he tries to deny you. "No."

"Thought you wanted me," You ask, fingers sliding between your legs. He watches as you tease the edge of your bikini bottoms. 

"You're skating on some mighty thin ice," Joel says through a groan as you take his hands in yours. 

"I think you want me," you tease. He feels powerless when you take his hands and gentle urge them under your bikini top. "I think you want me to cream all over your big cock, Joel." 

Joel squeezes your warm breasts groaning at how perfect they feel. You grin up at him, stepping closer. Your mouth comes to graze along his neck. You huff hot air along his neck as you speak and he shudders. 

"You don't wanna watch my tits bounce while you bury yourself in me?" 

Your nipples are hardening under his fingers and it takes everything in him not to tweak them. Instead he squeezes your breasts again watching as you hum in pleasure. Joel thinks he might die if he can't stuff himself in your wet heat. He can't remember the last time he wanted anything this badly. But you're his son’s girlfriend and you're so sweet and naive in many ways. And he has a girlfriend. And this is so fucking wrong.

"I can't, baby girl."

You can feel him rock hard against your thigh and you begin to grind your crotch against his erection. 

"But I wanna feel you," you whine, giving a breathy moan against his earlobe. "Just the tip." 

You reach into his swim trunks, finding him pulsing and hot to the touch. He doesn't try to stop you, just keeps kneading your breasts under your swimsuit.

"I could cum from just the tip," you promise as you begin to stroke him. "I know I could. Then you're not crossing any line."

Joel offers a strangled groan before his hands pull from your bikini top to fall to the stone behind you, boxing you there with your hand down his shorts. You start to jerk faster, watching as his mouth hangs open.  The slick slapping sound of jerking him off makes you pant. You can feel his resolve weakening as he begins to thrust into your slick palm. Your mouth moves to his earlobe. You nibble it there before speaking. 

"You make me so wet." 

Joel's eyes roll back as your hands wrap tighter around his cock, tugging harshly as you beg him. You're gonna make him cum right here. 

You're disappointed when he pulls your hand from his shorts but this gives way to interest when he grips you by the wrist again and drags you to one of the caves. It's empty, shielded from most of the view. It's a volcanic tube that's been marked off as closed by ropes and signs. It doesn't stop Joel from stepping over the rope and dragging you with him. If you peek you can see the back of Tess and Shawn's heads. The two of them are talking about something you can't hear as Shawn shows her something on his phone. The cave is warm and quiet, dark but with enough light for him to see your body. You're breathing raggedly, your pulse ticking in your neck as he watches you with hooded eyes. 

"This is a bad idea," he tells you. But his cock is tenting his shorts and he doesn't look like he's going to stop advancing towards you. 

Your spine presses up against the stone wall of the cave, your eyes wide as he steps closer. 

"There's no going back from this," Joel says, but he's already pushing up your bikini top, exposing your breasts. They fall heavily from the flimsy fabric and his mouth descends, sucking at one nipples as you grip his neck, arching. 

"Joel! Fuuuuck that's good!" 

Your body tightens with every suck and your hand slaps over your own mouth. You're terrified the sound might carry outside the cave. 

Joel takes his time with each of your breasts, squeezing them and groaning before nipping until the nipples are throbbing. They're tight points that pucker beautifully for him. He would spend a whole day on your tits alone but time is of the essence and he needs to feel more of you. He pulls back to see your hair tousled and your mouth red from where you bit your lips to keep from screaming. Your breasts are out and your hips cant towards him. You look absolutely fucked out and Joel needs more. Your bikini bottoms are thrust to the side with his finger. 

"Just the tip," he pants as he lines himself up with your slot. He presses forth slowly, eyes on where he enters you. You watch as well, your body tingling. He stretches you with the wide head and you look on in amazement at the sight of your pussy straining to take him. 

He notches himself shallowly within you before his eyes dart to your face. You look pained but its pleasure that makes your hips start to roll. He holds himself at the base, feeding only the bulbous head into you in such slow measure.

“Just the tip," he pants as he lines himself up with your slot. He presses forth slowly, eyes on where he enters you. You watch as well, your body tingling. He stretches you with the wide head and you look on in amazement at the sight of your pussy straining to take him. 

"You said you could come from just the tip," Joel reminds you. It's taking all he has not to thrust forward. He takes the base of his cock and drags it along your clit, tapping the head before slowly entering you again. 

Maddingly slow he holds himself at the base, feeding only the bulbous head into you. You clench down around him instantly, pussy greedy for him. .

"More," your beg, hands clutching at his shoulders. "More, please." 

Joel feels as you try to force his cock deeper, but he holds himself back, his fingers digging into your hips. 

"We said," Joel grunts, circling the head shallowly, "just the tip."

Despite your whines and your canting hips Joel keeps his cock shallowly within you, blowing out frustrated air when you keep going. It's clear he isn't going to budge unless you do something drastic. 

Joel watches your hands reach behind, inhaling when your bikini top loosens and then falls to the ground before your moving to the ties at the hips of your bikini. The fabric slithers down your body, leaving you bare to him. Joel sucks in his breath as he takes all of you in, cock hanging heavy and slick between his legs. He watches how your naked body responds to your own touch, stomach twitching, breasts jiggling as you lean against the wall and part your legs.

"I need more," you say sweetly, fingers coming to slide between your thighs as you keep his eye contact. 

Joel stands there with his cock wet and hard between his legs. You watch it twitch under your gaze and fell your mouth water. 

"More of what?" Joel baits you. "Use your words." 

You shoot him a coquettish smirk as you walk towards him, arms coming to wrap around his neck. You tug his face towards yours. 

"I want your cock Joel," you whisper against his mouth.”All of it." 

Joel knows that he’s powerless now. You aren't his son's girlfriend; you're a woman he desperately needs to bury himself in. Your voice turns plaintive. 

"Please daddy. I need your cum." 

Joel's body is on fire at those broken whines. And he knows this is the ultimate crossing of lines but he can't fight it anymore. He pulls one of your thighs around his hip, opening you more to him. He feeds you more of his cock, intending to go slowly until you start moaning at the sensation of him rubbing against your walls. The sound unlocks something primal in him and he thrusts into you brutally to the hilt. You fight to catch your breath, eyes wide. 

"You're so big," you gasp. 

"Yeah, I am," Joel says with an arrogant grin. "Biggest you've ever had."

He doesn't know that for sure but judging by your reaction he's right. And he knows his cock is big, he's had enough women in his bed to know. But your reaction has him preening. 

"Gonna ruin this tight little pussy," Joel tells you as he withdraws and then thrusts in one fluid motion to the hilt once more. "Gonna make her cry." 

He feels even better than you could have imagined. Better than Shawn, better than anyone. You don't know if it's his cock or because this is taboo all you know is you've never been this wet before. You lick at his neck, tasting the salt of the water and his sweat. His cologne invades your nostrils. His fingers come to your clit, lightly grazing as he fucks you. Your thighs begin to tremble. 

"Yeah you like that," Joel groans as he watches your eyes fall shut. You're so close to cumming. 

You don't say anything you just throw your head back and hold in a gasp. 

Joel growls before sliding his palms down behind your thighs, hauling you into his arms and continuing to fuck you through it. You whimper as you interlace your fingers behind his neck. His arm muscles bulge as he holds you aloft with ease. Joel watches how you ride out the pleasure with the guidance of his hips, your eyes on where the two of you are joined. He beams up at you and you swoon at how the skin around his eyes crinkle. 

"You like it? Seeing how daddy stretches you?"

"Uh huh." 

Joel watches himself saw between your legs, your body rolling as he fucks harder and harder into you, pinning you against the wall possessively. 

Over the wet slap of his hips against yours you hear Tess and Shawn laughing nearby. The realization that you could easily be caught makes you moan into your arm, desperate to stay quiet.

"You're not fucking Shawn anymore," Joel tells you in a grunt as he thrusts into you, the ball of your foot digging into his tight bare ass

"What?" You gasp confused by the statement. 

"You heard me," Joel grunts again, his breath hot and possessive against your cheek. "He's not fuckin' you again."

"He'll get suspicious," you insist, clutching Joel's shoulders. 

"Make something up," Joel says rolling his hips, tilting up and making you whimper. "I'm the only one fucking this sweet cunt from now on. Only cock you're gonna suck you hear me?" 

You don't know if he means for this trip or in the future and that floods your pussy. It clenches tightly around his cock. Your fingernails dig into his shoulder as your tits bounce for him. Joel is mesmerized at how your tight body looks swallowing his cock and a wave of possession overtakes him. 

"This is my cunt to fuck," Joel growls into your neck, thrusting aggressively on every word. "Repeat it."

"This is your cunt to fuck," you whisper, body rippling as he thrusts himself into you over and over, his face red, his breathing tight. 

Your body is sluggish in its movements, the bliss having worked its way into your muscles. Joel wishes he could finish inside of you, dying to watch his cum drip out of your used pussy. But it's too dangerous and he doesn't have a condom. 

"Gonna let anyone else cum in this cunt baby girl?"

"Nuh uh," you whisper against his mouth. "Only you." 

"That's right," Joel growls as his hips snap up, filling you over and over. "Only me. Only daddy. Say it again."

"This is daddy's cunt," you slur, starting to sag against his chest. “only daddy gets to cum in it.”

Joel bites your shoulder to keep from groaning loudly when you start to whisper only for you, my pussy is yours daddy. You tighten everywhere and Joel watches with glazed awe at you cum on his cock, your hips rutting and your face flushing as he covers your mouth to stop the loud cry of pleasure from escaping. He watches your body jerk as your arousal drips down his cock. Your eyes are rolled back only the whites showing and your hands clutch his shoulder for leverage. You bounce against him, chasing your high. 

"That's right baby girl, you soak Daddy's cock like a good girl does," Joel groans against your ear, pounding you against the cave wall. 

You quake in his arms before blinking and your eyes roll forward to gaze at him. Joel feels himself about to release and so he lowers you and withdraws before furiously stroking himself as he stares at you. You stand fully naked, your inner thighs glossy with your own release and your gaze faraway. Joel palms your left tit with his free hand. He doesn't let his mind fixate on your age or the fact that his son is in love with you. 

"This body is all for me," Joel says more to himself than anything. "Perfect fucking tits. Tight fuckin pussy. Fuck baby girl, get on your knees and open." 

You fall to your knees, mouth going around his cock to suck groan around his thick length. His hand comes to the back of your skull, forcing your mouth to strain around him deeper. You gag but he doesn't stop, if anything his cock twitches. 

It's nothing like it is with Shawn who is all tenderness and kisses when you're in bed. With Joel is like being used by someone who needs you so badly it burns. 

He grips your hair, thrusting and chanting your name, coming undone at the sight of your cheeks bulging with him, your eyes wide and un-blinking up at him. You whine gently. 

"It's coming baby girl," he gasps out, forcing your mouth to the base of his cock with a growl. "I just wanna take my time." 

"Joel?"

The sound of Tess voice reaches you both inside the cave she sounds like she's walking along the beach in search of him. She and Shawn are likely wondering where you both are. In terror you immediately go to pull off of Joel's cock but to your shock he holds you in place. 

"I didn't say we were done," Joel says licking his dry lips, his movements not slowing at all. 

"Bhut Teshhh," you garble out around his cock anxiously. He's got you pinned between the wall and his hips and he isn't moving anytime soon. 

"I don't fucking care," Joel tells you without ceasing the cant of his hips. "She could walk in right now. I'm not stopping until I cum down this pretty throat."

Your eyelashes flutter. Why does that make your pussy flood?  

"Take it," Joel urges you in a rasp, "fucking take it all like Daddy's good girl does. Swallow me down."  

You do, swallowing the salty release without pause, moaning around his cock as your do. Joel continues holding your hair in his fist until he's finished before he releases you. 

The two of you pant, looking at one another. Joel helps you to a stand before going to his knees and helping you tie the knots of your swimsuit at your hips. He kisses your bare belly as you pull on your bikini top and adjust it over your nipples. 

"Okay, we got that out of our system so now we should be able to go back to normal," you reason as you push back your hair matted from the sea water and Joel's hands. 

"Sure," Joel says. But you don't miss the smirk on his face as he says it. 

what do uou think they should do next? should they get caught or continue it at home please leave me comments or i dont wanna keep going ;p i skipped work to write this one so plsssssss write some good long comments for me okayyy i luv uuuuuuuuuuuuuu

[sstan-hoe]

TEACH YOU HOW TO GET TO PUREST HELL - L.H.

Summary: On the way to one of his cage fights, Logan's truck begins to break down and that's how he meets you, the owner of a repair shop in Northern Alberta. He promises to pay you with his winnings - but what he ultimately offers is far more interesting.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut 18+ only, Fluff, Flirting, Dirty talk, Praise kink, Fingering, Unprotected sex (against the cage), Aftercare, Logan's a snarky motherfucker (but secretly a softie)

A/N: The filthiest 4k I've ever written. I just know he was a menace during his cage fighter era. It's okay though, I'll still be clawing at the enclosure. Title creds to Radiohead. Hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

Smoke curls around him, bearing a semblance of warmth against the biting wind. Logan's grip on the steering wheel is loose, the other arm draped lazily across the window. He flicks his fingertips ever so often, the ashes of his cigar disappearing into the falling snow. Mile after mile, the same barren landscape stretches before him.

He's lost amidst the silence, having turned the radio all the way down in frustration at the nonsense plaguing the stations earlier. As sunshine glares through the windshield, he scrunches his eyebrows, vaguely entertaining some ideas swirling in his mind.

Hours pass by painfully slow. He tries to ignore the low rumbling that interrupts his flow of thoughts, body firmly protesting against this all-alcohol diet he'd unintentionally adopted. Logan skims a hand into the glove compartment, clicking his tongue when he discovers only a few wrappers lying inside. Slumping back into the seat, he takes another drag, disappointment etching onto his features.

An orange, flashing icon on the dashboard snaps his attention. His eyes dart to the blinking light, a sense of irritation washing over him when he recognises the ‘check engine’ symbol. In a haste, he pulls the truck over, slamming the door shut behind him as he ventures into the cold to inspect the issue. Though he has an extensive knowledge of motorcycles, by no means does that expertise carry over to whatever mess he finds beneath the hood. Logan returns with a sigh, recalling a faded road sign he'd passed ages ago - at least he isn't awfully far from his destination.

In the distance, the town welcome monument brings him some sort of peace. After driving by plenty of dimly lit diners and pubs, he reluctantly asks a stranger for directions to the nearest repair shop. Logan arrives shortly thereafter, parking at the entrance of this seemingly empty building. Curious, he scans the place, sliding out of his seat in search of anyone.

The distinct ring of metal hitting the floor has him spinning around. He fights back the amused huff at the sight of you, bottom lip slightly caught between his teeth in an attempt to stop the smirk threatening to break free. His eyes rake over your figure as you come closer - appreciating the way your overalls perfectly capture the slopes and curves of your body - before finally, rising to meet your unimpressed expression.

"What're you here for?"

There's a smidge of annoyance in your words, a reaction he very much enjoys being the reason for. He nods towards the truck parked out front, "Problem with the engine."

When you brush past him, Logan spots a name neatly embroidered onto your otherwise soiled clothes. Smiling, he follows after you, shamelessly dropping his gaze to your ass for a moment.

Waiting patiently while you poke around the hood, he steals glances at your profile, filled with the sudden urge to wipe away the grease stain remnants off your cheeks, "Yeah... looks like the head gasket needs replacing."

Logan groans to himself before agreeing with your judgment. He runs a hand across his face, stilling in brief confusion when you chuckle quietly.

"Somethin' funny?" He asks, noting how you browse the insides of his camper with a flair of barely-masked mockery.

"Just admiring the interior design."

That one almost draws a scoff out of him. Logan knows his living quarters are rather bare-bones in nature, at best, providing decent shelter for when he's on the go. Inside, a makeshift bed large enough for a man of his size and basic kitchen appliances - though he rarely uses those. It's all he cares for anyway, yet there's a tinge of self-consciousness he shakes before gruffly responding, "You can do it by tonight?"

"Tonight?" Your eyebrows raise in surprise, "Fine... but it's gonna set you back about three grand."

"I got half for now."

A sharp laugh pierces his ears. And even though it's undoubtedly fake, he thinks you look pretty like this - shooting what can't be anything less than a deadly glare just for him. The corners of his lips tilt up when your tone suddenly becomes stern, "That's not how it works, buddy."

"Listen, I got a fight later, I'll be good for it."

"What? You that sure you're gonna win?"

You're teasing him. You know it, and so does he. Logan studies the way your hand rests against your hip, a challenging glint behind your eyes while you consider this ridiculous suggestion. He moves one step closer and proudly welcomes the surge of satisfaction at the slight crack of your demeanour.

"Darlin', I always win." It's a whisper that leaves him, hushed and dangerously low. Giving your shoulder a playful nudge as he walks by, he circles to the trailer behind the truck, retrieving his motorcycle. He smirks, pleased to witness such a glimpse of weakness, "Eleven-thirty. O'Malley's. I'll see you there."

The engine revs with each twist of his wrist, the movement so precise and natural. As he sinks onto the bike, the suspension adjusting to his weight, he sends you a wink.

"And if you lose?" You shout over the blaring sounds.

With one final grin, "Just fix my truck, alright."

Even from outside, O'Malley's is deafeningly loud. The wooden door creaks lightly with the gentlest push, and a mixture of overly enthusiastic yells paired with the clashing of glass greet your presence. You're no regular here whatsoever, but the fights that occur in this bar are usually the talk of the town. And despite its reputation, you've never had much interest in being surrounded by a crowd of angry, intoxicated men - all drowning beneath the crude insults and empty threats tossed into the air.

Some of the patrons, customers you recognise from work, acknowledge you with a polite smile while you settle into a booth near the cage. As you observe the utter chaos around the room, it only cements your distaste for this so-called form of entertainment. The current match's loser staggers past your table, barely walking on two feet even with the support of his friends.

All you can think about is returning home with your hard-earned cash. It was a rather tiring day, running around salvage yards scouring for spare parts to tend to the old piece of junk he'd called a truck. Not to mention the unforgiving weather, which seemed determined to make your day more miserable. And to top it all off, the jerk wanted it done by nightfall - the audacity! Just the simple reminder of today's events has your body tensing from restlessness.

Behind you, a group of men sneer amongst themselves and between their slurring, the words "pretty boy" and "his ass kicked" grasp your attention. Turning around, you watch as they hand over money to some younger fella, taunting others to join the bet. Oh, that makes your blood boil. This Logan had strolled into your shop with nothing but a superficial promise for your services, and now, he's presumed to lose?

You stand up abruptly, peering across the space in search of him. A rush of fury courses through you at the same time you spot him casually lounging in the corner. As you approach, the faint glow of the bulb illuminates his face, a cloud of smoke momentarily hiding the smirk playing on his lips. His chuckle cuts through the hum of the jukebox he's leaning on, eyes crinkling with a kind of smugness at your arrival.

"You're joking." The bottle of whiskey between his fingers shocks you the most, "Are you seriously getting drunk before your fight?"

Logan grins at your concerned expression, eyes tracing you up and down, "You fix it?"

"Yes, I fucking fixed it. Took me all day!" Fists clenching, you stare at him intently, "Look, I did my job - you better do yours."

"Don't worry 'bout it, darlin'. I'm a man of my word." He dismisses you completely, taking a prolonged swig of his drink. A beat passes before he lazily holds up two fingers right to your face, "Scout's honour."

He laughs again when you roughly shove his hand aside, not sparing another second for this cocksure attitude. You grumble under your breath, making your way back to the booth, "It's three fingers, asshole."

A few matches take place over the next hour, and you're only getting more antsy as each of the competitors exits the cage with nothing short of bloody faces and broken bones. The audience roars all of a sudden, some even rattling the fence as this new person strides into the threshold.

Of course, he'd stripped his shirt off and the sight of his muscle-toned chest only serves to further fuel your irritation. Logan's eyes find yours immediately, looking past the crowd of hecklers now whistling at him. With a nod, he throws you a confident smirk and turns to his rival.

The man he's up against is much more burly and has a couple of inches on him. Though that doesn't seem to faze Logan in the slightest, instead he's flexing his arms almost playfully before adopting a fighting stance. Every punch and kick has you twitching in your seat, your feet firmly stuck to the ground in anticipation.

Remembering how he'd chugged an entire bottle of liquor earlier, you're astonished by the ferocity with which he attacks his opponent, dodging most moves with deadly precision. As he lands more jabs, the spectators begin to jeer and boo, swarming the enclosure of the cage in a tantrum. You peek over their shoulders, ducking away from the things they're flinging around. There's a collective gasp when he knocks out the other man, and you sigh in relief.

Leaning towards the cage, a cigar lightly pressed against his mouth, Logan's focus shifts to you. His chest is heaving from all the physical exertion, skin damp from the sweat. As he exhales the smoke, blowing a kiss in your direction, a satisfied expression returns to his face. He runs a hand through his wet hair, leaving the arena with no regard for the protesting crowd.

You follow after him, squeezing through the tightly packed space. He's settling a score with the owner, a wad of rolled cash passing between them as a reward. After a nod of mutual agreement, Logan faces you, tossing his leather jacket on. And while you're ultimately happy he won, there's also this urge to smack the cheeky look that seems to be glowing as you come closer.

What's more upsetting is the fact that he is undeniably gorgeous - especially like this, all sweaty and wound up from the adrenaline rushing inside. And of course, he doesn't miss how your gaze wanders to the sliver of skin peeking through his jacket, every slight movement only revealing more.

Logan grabs a few bills from the roll of money and stuffs them into his back pocket, holding the rest out towards you. As you reach for the cash, he swiftly draws his hand back with a teasing smile, "Have a drink with me."

"No."

"C'mon." He drags out, repeating the same thing when you try again, "No one needs their cute, little mechanic right now."

Watching you sigh triggers a thrill of excitement, an unspoken victory he claims with no shame. With a simple gesture, he leads you towards a secluded booth, determined to make this a worthwhile exchange. Despite your hesitation, he maintains a sort of relaxed energy, draping his arm along the seat - his eyes not straying from yours.

Two shots of vodka are placed on the table and Logan mirrors your action, slowly raising the glass to his lips. In no time, the air of unease dissipates, replaced by a comfortable silence while the drinks keep coming. As the night wears on, casual conversation flows between you and he asks a few things like how long you've lived here, why you became a mechanic and eventually, when he slides you the money, "What now, darlin'? You gonna leave?"

His voice, dripping with honeyed sweetness, sends a shiver down your spine. You can't exactly place the feeling, but it's a tangle of exasperation and something else - something you're not quite ready to define. Instead, you blame it on the drinks, the late hour, and the fact that there's an incredibly attractive man just inches away.

As frustration envelops your thoughts, you suddenly excuse yourself and head towards the bathroom. The alcohol, previously a gentle companion, now seems to be taking its toll. Looking at your reflection in the mirror, you try to fight against the sensations running through your body. The splash of cold water does little to your state of mind, yet you're back outside in what feels like a tilted world, using all your strength to walk straight.

As you brush past the cage, someone collides into you. Desperate for balance, you reach out to grip the fence, but a strong hand lays steady on your lower back. With a gasp and a tilt of your head, you're caught off-guard when Logan comes into your view. His arm snakes around to gently hold your waist, his body now pressing into yours.

Overwhelmed by the sudden proximity, you tear your attention away from him and glance at the wire pricking your fingers, "This is fucking sharp."

He doesn't break the eye contact. A low hum vibrates through his chest as he leans in, the warmth of his breath dancing with yours. The space between you slowly shrinks, whatever lighthearted facade he'd worn earlier vanishes only to be replaced by something raw and inexplicable.

"How're you not bruised?" You whisper, remembering the way he'd been thrown against the cage earlier.

"Call it a special talent."

Despite your better judgment, you find yourself captivated by him, the intensity of his gaze reeling you in. And so, you decide to play his game, "Can you teach me?"

Logan pauses, "You wanna learn... how to fight?"

"Just a little punch or something."

A faint smile spreads across his face, you're absolutely sure he can feel the way your heart is pounding. When his lips lightly brush against your ear, a quiet rumble escapes and something flickers in your gut - a twist of exhilaration laced with a hint of caution.

There's barely anyone left in the bar at this point besides the one or two stragglers hanging around. Logan and you stand alone in the cage, seemingly tucked away in a little pocket of your own. He doesn't wander too far, remaining within an arm's distance while demonstrating the proper technique for a jab - the motion so fluid and effortless.

Your initial attempts to mimic his movements are clumsy and awkward, his amusement only growing more evident with each try. Slipping behind you, he sheds the jacket, once again exposing his glorious muscles and the thought of tracing his vein-riddled biceps with your tongue leaves you dazed for a moment. This time, he circles his arms around you and guides your hands into the correct position.

As you practice, your bodies nudge against each other, his breath fans across your neck and ignites a fire within you. The tension is palpable, the air thick with implicit desire. You can almost feel his gaze burning into you, every second posing a challenge to cross this imaginary line.

The rest of the patrons are ushered out the door, the owner nodding at Logan before disappearing into the back room. And the silence settles in, a stark contrast to all the commotion that lingered for hours prior. You notice the difference, inching towards the exit, "Looks like they're closing up."

Before you can move away, Logan's hand shoots out to catch your wrist, "And we got it all to ourselves."

"What?"

"Might've slipped the owner a little somethin’."

His fingers trail up your arm, thumb gently pushing your soft skin. Slowly, he brings you closer, his words just a whisper of heat on your cheek. You can feel the rise and fall of his chest, a rhythm echoing your own racing heart. Your voice, hoarse and strained, barely manages a response, "Is this how you budget? No wonder you're broke."

It's his laughter that breaks you at first, followed by, "You got a smart mouth, darlin'. Tell me, what else can it do?"

His lips hover mere inches above yours, there's a moment of hesitation hanging in the air - an out, if you don't want this. But, temptation is a dangerous siren and you're already ensnared by her song.

Fuck it.

Logan's dog tags hang pretty between the slopes of your breasts, his mouth moving against yours in a rough, demanding fashion. It's sloppy. It's wet. And it's goddamn heavenly when his fingers thread through your hair, the gap between you now completely erased. You cling to him as if he's an anchor, nails digging into his shoulders while he pins you to the cool metal of the cage.

He wants to touch you. To feel the warmth radiating straight off your body. The straps of your overalls fall from his force, he takes the opportunity to slide one hand through the side, kneading your waist with a kind of tenderness that surprises him too. When you take a second to breathe, Logan peppers kisses along your jawline, then some beneath your ear before grazing his lips on your neck.

The pulsing vein he finds nearly has him growling in pleasure, "Fuck, darlin'... feel so good already... can't wait to taste you when I'm done..."

He stills when you gasp, glancing up through his lashes and then quietly chuckling at your flustered expression. Yet, he can't revel in his victory for any longer than a blink, your palm tilts his head back before you fiercely capture his mouth once more.

His name rolls out your lips, drawn out and glazed with an obvious need. Taking a deep inhale, Logan feels the bulge in his jeans growing with each passing moment. You're only getting restless as his hands roam over your body, becoming nothing more than a whimpering mess all from his doing.

"Lemme hear you for real, baby... don't be shy." His fingers latch onto the cage, using it to thrust forward and deepen the kiss. Your clothes end up pooling at your feet, the barriers between you peeling away with every layer gone. Now, skin to skin, sweat glistening on your brow, you're left bare and vulnerable to his touch.

Logan reaches down, spreading your thighs wide enough till he can push your panties aside, stroking the outside of your entrance. Clenching his jaw when he's met with a distinct wetness, "Hidin' all this for me?" He almost laughs at how you curl forward and then whine his name, craving for any part of him to be inside you, "Hm... what'd you say to me before? Three fingers?

With no warning, he slides exactly three inside your cunt, pumping in and out as best as he can, "So fuckin' tight, darlin'... c'mon... show me you're ready for the real thing." He knows he's doing something right when you squirm at his actions, jumping at the invitation to delicately flick your clit before sinking his fingers back into you.

"Logan-"

Pain consumes you as he continues, tears springing to your eyes. You've never felt pleasure like this, so intense and so profound, words lost amongst the moans trembling out your lips. Your knees begin to shake under the pressure, and his free hand immediately cups your thigh, securing your body to his. As you call out for him, urging him to fuck you senseless, he tugs his fingers away.

The belt flies, jeans tossed behind in an instant and he grunts, freeing his hard length from his boxers. The tip of his cock teases your folds, the precum slicking down from the head. His nose presses against your cheek when your hand runs up and down - getting him all nice and ready. Breath hitching at the sensation, Logan involuntarily bucks his hips, your eagerness carrying him over the edge.

He's careless about lining himself up, giving it no more than a fleeting thought before thrusting into you. Whatever floods your brain at that moment is much more potent than anything you've ever experienced. It's vigorous, almost animalistic in nature, how hard he fucks you. The veins on his arms become more apparent as he hoists you up, pushing you against the cage. He can hear the little fibers of your skin tearing because of the friction, yet he does little to ease that pain, knowing you're enjoying the hurricane of emotions whisking you away.

Logan pants into your tits, nipping at the soft flesh, "Wanted to ruin that pussy since I saw you this mornin'... all dirty and pissed off at me - god. Thought 'bout somethin' else on your face too."

"Logan - don't... fucking stop. Feels amazing... wanna feel all of you." The words escape you - laboured and breathless - your eyes soften in delight, watching this sort of enraptured expression wash across his face, "So good for me, Logan."

So good.

For me.

And boy, if that doesn't spur him on.

Picking up speed, his movements turn greedy, grinding into you with a degree of passion he's never felt before. As you tug his hair, fingers raking through the dark tresses in a frenzy, Logan taps into the primal energy swelling within. His hands squeeze you further, your thighs constricting his waist as he drives up into you, "That's it baby... fuckin' perfect. Takin' all of me like a good girl... mhmm."

The way your body helplessly arches has him grinning, but that quickly gets swept away when his cock twitches inside you, aching to burst at any given moment. He tries his hardest to control himself, longing for your cries of pleasure as you finish. Thrusts weakening to a leisurely pace, Logan grunts into your neck, mumbling a string of curses while he rides out this wave. Thankfully, you're on the precipice as well, your body reaching its peak with a shiver.

His cum trickles out of you, thighs getting sticky as it seeps lower and lower. Lost in a daze, Logan thinks he can see the damn sun in your eyes. With a gentle swipe of your cunt, he sheepishly licks his own fingertips, a smile brightening his face.

The mattress, once a source of great discomfort, now feels like paradise as you cuddle into the crook of his neck, the soft rhythm of your breath soothing him to a state of peace. He'd carried you to his truck earlier, threatening you with a barrage of kisses when you dangled his keys in front of him. There was a rather short game of tag before you relented and collapsed into his embrace, tiredly blinking up at him. He'd tucked the loose strands of your hair back then tenderly caressed your cheek. It took all but one affectionate grin to convince you to spend the night in his camper.

Not a single inch of your body is free from his touch. He pulls you even closer, tracing patterns around the tiny scratches spreading across your shoulders. If you'd asked him yesterday, he would tell you he has no plans of sticking around this town, grown used to a life of impermanence. Yet, as he rests, tangled in your arms, Logan finds a reason to stay.

[sstan-hoe]

Overdue

Summary: You’re a strict librarian.

Pairing: Mafia!Steve Rogers x Librarian!Reader

Warnings/Tags: short reader, mafia au, size kink (Steve), kidnapping?

I changed by posting schedule to match @navybrat817's Monday ask. Go, have a look a her blog and stories.

I had this one in my finished WIPs so here we go with Steve Rogers saving us from our job and boring Mondays. :)

You yawn and rub your tired eyes. It’s a slow day today. The library is almost empty, except for two teens hiding between two shelves to make out. You give them a pass for now if they don’t overdo it.

You turn your attention toward the books on your desk. Your colleague left them there after their shift for you to take care of. Just like always, they are selfish and lazy.

You huff and throw the pencil in your hands onto the desk. Your eyes are blurry, and you are ready to fall asleep. With only the two teens around, you allow yourself to close your eyes for a moment.  

Close to drifting toward your favorite fantasy you sigh dreamily. Your bed is calling for you, and you already miss your fluffy pillows. “So…tired…”

The door suddenly slams open, hitting the wall and you shriek in terror. Even the teens stopped making out to watch a tall man step inside the library.

He sticks out of this place like a sore thumb in his black slacks, black turtleneck sweater, and expensive grey overcoat. You can’t see his shoes, but you assume they’re expensive too, just like the rest of his outfit.

“Hi,” you put on your best-faked smile. If only he stayed away, you could’ve daydreamed a little longer. “What are you looking for?”

“A book,” he gruffly replies, eyes roaming the library. It seems like he’s searching for more than a book. “Where do I find the—” His tongue darts out to wet his perfect pink lips, “law books?”

“On the left side, the third shelf. Are you looking for a specific book, Sir? I can tell you where to find it if you know the title,” you offer, but he shakes his head. He’s halfway toward the shelf before you end your sentence.

You huff and turn your attention toward the stack of books left on your desk. You still have to handle the books, check them for damage, scan them, and return them to the shelves.

Engrossed in your task you don’t hear the man return to your desk. He clears his throat, drawing your attention toward him. You flit your eyes up to watch him run his hand over his thick, but well-trimmed beard. His blue eyes search yours for moment before he speaks again.

“How can I help you, Sir?” you repeat the line you said so often in your life you can’t even count it anymore.

“I’m looking for a book,” he repeats, earning a smirk from you. “A specific book.”

“Do you have a title?” You slowly get up from your swivel chair and round the desk. “Sir?”

“Hmm…” he simply watches you step next to him. Compared to him, you’re small, tiny even. “You’re short.” He states a fact you already know about. “Very short.”

You frown at his attitude. Yes. You are short. This doesn’t give him the right to call you short. “What?”

“Oh, that’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he takes a step closer to get a better look at you. “It’s cute, really.”

“Cute?” you are fuming and would love to shove your shoe up his ass. But you cannot risk getting caught while hurting a customer. “Do you know the title of the book, yes or no.” Your polite smile is fading, and you can barely hide that you’re pissed at the stranger.

“I know the title,” he lowers himself to whisper the title in your ear. “Do you have that one?”

“Yes,” you spin on your heels and march away, not waiting for him to catch up with you. He’s a stranger at this place, but you know it like the palm of your hand.

“You’re not very talkative,” he comments while following you.

“It’s not my job to entertain the people coming here. And it’s forbidden to be too loud at a library.”

“Ah,” he laughs. “You’re very strict, huh? I like someone following rules. I have a few too.”

“Hmmm…” you browse the shelf, finger sliding over the back of the books. “There it is.” You pull the book out of the shelf to hand it to the man. “That’s the one you are looking for.”

“You’re very helpful too,” he muses while his eyes roam your smaller figure. “How long are you working here?”

“Do you want to borrow the book? Are you already a member of our library? If not, you can fill out the application form.” You point toward the application forms on your desk. “I must warn you. Do not overdue the books, Sir.”

“Doll, do you honestly believe I came here for a book?” His features darken, and he licks those plump lips again. He dips his head to drink your trembling form in. “Do you?”

“What?” You splutter.

“You, out!” He jerks his head toward the teens. “Now!” They run out of the library, never looking back. “And you…” He turns back toward you, still that smirk on his lips, “will come with me.”

Your eyes widen in fear. “No.” You shake your head. “I won’t go anywhere with you. I don’t even know you, Sir.”

He chuckles darkly. Before you can blink you end up thrown over his shoulder. You slap him and scream. It’s no use. You wiggle and beg but he walks out of the library, with you hanging over his shoulder.

“I told you to take the day off, doll,” Steve laughs as you mutter under your breath. “Sometimes your man must take matters in his hands…”

Tags in reblog.

[sstan-hoe]

Rule Number One | Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader| One shot - 940 words

Bucky is happy to find you still in his bed the morning after the night before, but Steve isn't impressed.

Warnings: 18+ hints of smut, one night stand (or is it?), fluffy sexy Bucky who needs a warning because hot damn.

A/N: if you think you've seen this before no you haven't.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics and @reveriesources

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes

There's a hand on Bucky's chest, a left hand, a hand with pink lacquered fingernails and silver rings on the index and pinky. A hand that is most certainly not his own. 

Behind him there's a soft exhale of breath that tickles along his spine, and then lips pressed to his warm skin, the ridge of a nose that runs against the dip of his spine and that puff of breath, in - silence - and out. 

The hand on his chest flexes, thankfully short fingernails digging into the thatch of hair on his chest before encircling his dog tags with a soft ting of metal of metal. 

It's not an unfamiliar hand, it's just a hand he didn't think to see anywhere near his bare skin, let alone in his bed, holding him so tightly. 

He turns enough to follow the hand back to the wrist, the arm and you.

What the hell were you doing here? He rubbed his temple.

Lips and teeth and giggling, you stumbled backwards towards his room, pulling him by his bet loops until he fell against you, backing you into the wall, lifting you into his arms. 

Shit. Yeah. That's what you were doing here. He tries to pull away a little but you hold him tighter. Your legs, tangled with his own, shift and grasp and he can feel how naked you are against the back of his thigh, warm and comforting. 

You were wet, so wet, and delicious on his tongue, like ripe fruit, like ambrosia, and he licked higher until you gasped out his name in desperation. 

Bucky couldn’t remember if he’d ever been held like this before, it made him feel both safe and comforted as well as big and protective. As if your clinging arms and legs needed him somehow. 

“Bucky, Bucky I need you, please.” You’d panted, your lipstick smeared across your cheek in your haste to get your mouth on him. And he’d relented almost immediately, rucking up your dress and pushing aside your panties to feel just how much you wanted him. Your arousal coating the tops of your thighs and leaving a sheen on his fingers when he pulled them away. 

He’d sat back on his heels, just watching you arch into his touch for a moment, before unzipping his fly. 

Bucky looked up, watching the second hand tick around the clock on his side table. He was going to be late to training if he didn’t get up immediately and you were definitely late. He was pondering the pros and cons of calling in sick for you when there was a sharp knock on the door followed by a familiar voice calling his name. 

You had moaned his name so sweetly, begged him, and he’d given you everything you desired, everything you deserved, his good fucking girl taking him so well. 

Someone was still knocking, someone was still shouting his name. 

Shit, Steve. 

Bucky carefully lifted your arm and slid out of the bed, lowering your hand gently over a pillow in an effort to not disturb your sleep. If he was careful he’d be able to open the door and talk quietly with Steve without waking you and without letting his friend know that he’d broken the first rule of living at the compound.

As soon as he was out of the bed Bucky wanted to get back in, you just looked so cute and cosy snuggled into his sheets, your face relaxed and eyelashes fluttering against your cheek as you resettled yourself.

Your eyes closed in pleasure, head thrown back as he drew your pleasure out, his fingers pinching and rolling, the hard length of him buried so deep he could feel the drag and squeeze of your orgasm as it washed over you. 

“Bucky? You there?” Steve knocked again and Bucky quickly pulled on a pair of sweatpants before yanking the door open. 

“Uh- morning, Steve.” Bucky blinked in the harsh light from the hallway, the full length windows letting the sun stream in. 

“Morning, Pal. Thought we were meeting for a coffee?”

“Coffee - oh, yeah, coffee, sure. Just give me ten minutes.” 

“We have to be at the gym in ten minutes to see the new recruits.” 

“Oh, okay, well let me just get changed and -” 

“Speaking of,” Steve put his foot in the door frame, spoiling Bucky’s plan of inching the door closed on his friend. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen any of them, have you?” 

“Not seen any of them since last night.” Bucky lied through his teeth, hoping that Steve wouldn’t be able to see through him. 

“Hmmm…not even a really cute one? That has a crush on you? Not even that one?” 

Bucky looked back over to the bed to see you awake now, eyes still sleepy as you tried to hide under the comforter from embarrassment. He turned back to Steve. 

“C’mon, Steve, give me a little more credit than that. I remember the rules.” 

“Do you? What’s rule number one?”

“Rule number one, don’t sleep with the new recruits.” Bucky crossed his fingers behind his back and you let out a little giggle, stifling it behind your hand. 

“Sure, Buck.” Steve rolled his eyes, “ten minutes.” And he walked away.

Bucky shut the door and clicked the lock as quickly as possible, just in time to see you stalking across the room towards him, you wrapped the sheets around your body, holding them tight across your chest. 

“Rule number one, huh?” You giggled. 

“I might have already broken rule number one.” He grinned back, slowly peeling the sheets back before taking you in his arms. 

[sstan-hoe]

and i’ll never see you again if i can help it

ex!joel miller x f!reader

summary: after breaking up with Joel, you take an opposite patrol shift to avoid him at all costs.

warnings: smut and angst

“The first time I tasted somebody else's spit, I had a coughing fit

I mistakenly called them by your name

I was let down it wasn't the same”

The cold nighttime air startled your lungs as you stumbled outside. Before you had time to acclimate, his lips were pressed against yours. You drunkenly kissed him back, him being some guy you met at the Tipsy Bison whose name you couldn’t even be bothered to recall. You got a taste of his spit, bitter from the alcohol he just drank. You forced yourself not to gag which caused you to pull away and cough violently, the crisp November air certainly not helping. 

He looked at you under the dim street lamp and chuckled, “You okay?”

Tears sprung at the corners of your eyes as you continued your coughs and struggled to catch your breath. He rubbed your back as your coughing fit came to an end. 

That was nice of him.

When the coughing finally dissipated you resigned to kissing him again. He pressed you against the side of the building and worked on your neck, leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your soft skin.

You started to moan a little and as he kissed and sucked on your neck, you subconsciously moaned “Joel”. 

He stopped. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks and your face grew hot. He slowly pulled away from your neck and looked you in the eye. 

“…What did you just say?”

You didn’t know what to say. It’s not like you could tell him the truth, “Oh I was just moaning my ex’s name.” That would crush him. You stared at each other under the streetlamp and through puffs of your visible breath. The expression on his face was a mixture of disappointment and betrayal.

“I- I…” you stuttered out.

He shook his head and muttered “Forget it” before turning and walking home, leaving you alone in the dark street with nothing but the shame you felt. 

“I’m doing fine, trying to derail my one-track mind

Regaining my self-worth in record time

But I can’t help but think of your other in the bed that was mine”

You sighed and went to walk home yourself, the shame already melting away. It’s not like it was going to be anything serious anyway. Who cares if you called him by the wrong name? You’re still healing from your breakup with Joel anyway. You were bound to be a little messy here and there. The shame had started shapeshifting into pride of some kind. But all that changed when you saw him leaving the Tipsy Bison. And no, not the random guy from before. This time him being Joel. And he was with a woman. They were clearly drunk and practically hanging off of each other. How had you not noticed him inside earlier? And as they walked towards the direction of Joel’s home, the home that you used to share with him, you heard something rare; Joel was laughing. Jealousy stirred a pit in your stomach. Your hands clenched at your sides. Tears sprung in your eyes again. The shame returned but this time for a different reason. You were ashamed you no longer had a rebound. You wanted to prove to Joel that you didn’t need him; that you were moving on. But instead, you were standing in the street feeling jealous, watching him walk home to fuck someone where he used to fuck you. 

“Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth

Call you a bitch and leave?”

You wanted to yell after him; tell him to stop; ask what he thought he was doing. Maybe even call him a name or two. Maybe throw him a punch. Maybe not the punch though. That was just drunk you talking. You didn’t really have a right to do any of those things anyway. You were broken up. He was free to move on to whoever he wanted. You turned on your heel and walked home, head hanging low in humiliation. You returned to your empty home, collapsing into bed and finally letting the tears flow now that you were alone. You thought about what Joel was doing with her. Was he kissing her? Were they holding each other? Were they in what used to be your bed with Joel? Did he have the same attention to detail with her pleasure that he used to have with yours? It made your stomach twist into knots. The alcohol mixed with the feelings of regret, longing, and nostalgia; all of it fusing together, leaving you nauseous. You ran to your bathroom and emptied the contents of your stomach into the toilet. You sat on the floor, rested your head against the toilet seat, and sobbed, the tears making your face sticky and puffy. You knew you were gonna look like shit tomorrow, eyes puffy and bloodshot, all the color in your face faded. And to make matters worse, you had a daytime patrol shift with Joel tomorrow. The thought of him seeing you like this was mortifying. You wanted him to think that you were moving on; that you didn’t need him anymore. But that was far from the truth. 

“Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet? 

What was the plan? Absolve all your guilt and shake hands?”

You woke up that morning with a splitting headache. The morning sun creeping in through the windows didn’t help either. You rose from your bed slowly, the aches in your body starting to set in. You went to the bathroom and took a look at yourself in the mirror. The bags under your eyes were a deep purple and the life was sucked from your face. You thought about Joel seeing you like this… which led you to think about him waking up with her this morning. The pain that that thought gave you was indescribable. It tore at your stomach and your heart, leaving them with heavy pits. You leaned over the bathroom counter and took slow, deep breaths, heading facing down at the sink. After talking yourself down from the impending mental breakdown you got ready for your patrol shift, slipping on your clothes and grabbing your gun on the dresser before exiting into the brisk morning. You put your pants in the pockets of your jacket and stared at the ground as you walked, not trying to make eye contact with anyone as Jackson was waking up for the day. 

You reached the main gate to find Joel waiting there, too, also looking at the ground. Tommy and a few others were waiting as well. You wordlessly headed to the stables, mounting on your houses for the patrol. The tension between the group hung heavy in the air, thanks to you and Joel. Everyone in town knew about your breakup and how messy it was. Nobody dared to say a thing as you and the group exited through the gate and spread out along the walls of Jackson. Somehow you and Joel ended up next to each other, neither of you looking in the other’s general direction. The strain and hostility between you two was so strong it was pliable. It felt like a weight being pushed down on your shoulders. And that’s how most of the shift went– you and Joel next to each other or walking by each other on your horses, never making eye contact. It was awkward for you, him, and everyone else unfortunate enough to be on the same patrol shift with you guys. If only you could switch patrol shifts…

But your thoughts are interrupted when Joel speaks, startling you. 

“Can we talk?”

Really? Now?

“I don’t really think here is the best time or place…” you said, glancing at the others around you.

“Meet me at the diner after our shift?” he asked in a hushed tone. 

The diner in Jackson had a service for patrol shift workers to stop in for coffee whenever they needed it. Going to the diner after your patrol shifts was something you used to do together. Now, you avoided that place like the plague, finding it to be painful to go to. 

Your brow furrowed, “Sure, I guess…”

He nodded silently and led his horse in the opposite direction around the fence. You didn’t see him much for the rest of your shift. And when you did you didn’t really look him in the eye. The day seemed to drag on, the sun getting lower and lower in the sky. At the end of your shift, you headed back to the stables and dismounted from your horse, starting the walk to the diner. Jackson was bathed in a warm red glow, a beautiful sight on a normal day but you were too nervous to appreciate it. As you approached the diner you saw Joel through the window, sitting at a booth, looking down at his hands.

“I feel no need to forgive but I might as well

But let me kiss your lips so I know how it felt

Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down

Walk for hours in the dark feeling all hell”

You entered the diner with a ding from the bell attached to the door. Joel looked up from his hands and met your eyes. You wordlessly walked to his booth and sat across from him, not knowing what to say. But again, Joel spoke first.

“I’m sorry you had to see that outside the Tipsy Bison last night…”

So he did see you. That made this so much worse.

You sighed, “You don’t have anything to apologize for. We’ve been broken up for like a month now.”

“I know but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you or your feelings anymore…”

He looked at you with a solemn expression on his face. Before either of you could say anything the waitress came over to take your order. 

“Can I get you two anything else besides coffee? Something to eat?”

Not in the mood to eat. Not during a talk like this. 

“Just the coffee for now,” you replied. 

“Same for me.”

“I’ll be right back with those,” she said before, turning and heading behind the counter. 

“I mean… I forgive you I guess?”

He nodded and reached your hand across the table.

But why? Why is he doing this if he supposedly moved on? You missed him, though. And you’d be lying to yourself right now if this didn’t make you at least a little bit happy. 

You took his hand and sighed, rubbing your thumb across his. 

“Why are we doing this? I thought we were supposed to be moving on. I’ve been trying to, at least.” It physically pained you to say those words but it was what needed to be said. He can’t just go home with another woman and then come back to you apologizing. He either wanted you or he didn’t.

He didn’t answer. The waitress returned with your coffees and you sipped on them silently; the warm liquid soothing you after a long day out in the cold.

You continued, “I just don’t get what’s going on here. It all feels like a mixed signal.”

“I want to move on. I really do. But when I try to move on I find myself feelin’ guilty. And it doesn’t help that we work the same patrol shift. I see you all the time and anytime I look at you, I just feel guilty.”

“I’ll make this easier for both of us, Joel,” you said, giving him a sad smile. “Don’t worry about me. Just live your life.”

Something compelled you to give him one final kiss before it was over forever. You leaned over the booth and gave him a quick, chaste kiss, even though you would regret it later. Before he could say anything in return, you slid out of the booth and stood up, getting ready to leave. 

“Goodbye, Joel,” you said before leaving him behind, in the past where he belongs. 

“Don’t hold your breath, forget you’ve ever saw me at my best

You don’t deserve what you don’t respect

Don’t deserve what you say you love and then neglect

Now bite your tongue, it’s too dangerous to fall so young

Take back what you said

Can’t lose what you never had”

The sun was setting. The people of Jackson were heading towards their homes, but not you. You walked through the dark streets, in a melancholy haze. You missed him so much but there was a reason your relationship ended. But still, you found yourself reminiscing on the good times; the patrol shifts together, him teaching you how to play guitar, laughing together with Ellie. But he didn’t love you the way you needed to be loved. It was understandable given all he went through. But he didn’t need to tell you he loved you and treat you otherwise. 

You met each other in Kansas City after FEDRA’s control there collapsed. 

And when you first got together he would always tell you to be careful falling for him. You were a lot younger than him. Looking back, he was probably right. But he stopped trying to fight your feelings towards him and just accepted it. And that’s all it most likely was at the end of the day; him just accepting you, not loving you back. At least that’s what you thought. Maybe there was a part of grumpy, stoic Joel Miller that loved you deep down. And if that part of him existed, he was terrible at letting it out. 

It wasn’t a breakup where one person broke up with the other. You both felt it coming for a while. The greatest love you’d ever known (or thought you’d ever known) slipped through your fingers. And you both felt it was time to cut it off. That was a little over a month ago and it hasn’t been any easier since.

After a while the frigid night turned into dawn. You stayed out the whole night, loafing around. Soon it would be time for your patrol shift but you thought about what Joel said.

“And it doesn’t help that we work the same patrol shift. I see you all the time and anytime I look at you, I just feel guilty.”

“You got a 9 to 5, so I’ll take the night shift

And I’ll never see you again if I can help it

In five years I hope the songs feel like covers

Dedicated to new lovers”

You spotted Tommy walking to his patrol shift and that’s when you got the idea: ask for the night shift.

“Tommy!” you shouted, “Wait up!”

He stopped walking and turned to face you. You jogged a little bit to catch up with him.

“Hey,” he said wearily, taking in your current state. “Did you go to bed last night?”

“No… But I actually had something I wanted to ask you.”

“Shoot.”

“Would it be alright if I took the night shift instead?”

He let out a small sigh. He knew what this was about. 

“…I don’t see why not.”

“Thanks. Can I start tonight?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Go home and get some sleep,” he said, looking at your tired face.

“Thanks, Tommy,” you replied before walking home.

You didn’t see Joel walk to his shift. Maybe he was already there. Maybe he would notice your absence. Maybe he wouldn’t care. Maybe he would be relieved. 

You walked inside and went straight to your bedroom, peeling off the clothes you had been wearing for the past twenty four hours. You slipped on something to wear to sleep and crumpled into bed, exhaustion taking you over. You still found yourself dreaming of Joel. You dreamt of when he taught you to play guitar. He knew some songs from before the outbreak but not a ton. So a lot of the songs you made up on the spot, not necessarily accompanied by singing either, something neither of you were skilled at. But it was something you two did together. It was something that made the detached Joel Miller enjoy himself for once. Maybe one day he would play those songs for someone else or forget yours and make up new ones entirely. Maybe he would teach her how to play guitar. Maybe he would give up that hobby altogether after you, finding it too painful. 

You slept throughout the whole day, waking up a couple of hours before your night shift. You opened your eyes groggily, not adjusted to the light coming in through the windows yet. You rubbed your eyes and opened them to see a tall, looming figure standing over your bed.

“What the fuck?!” you shouted, sitting upright. 

You blinked a few times and your vision focused. It was just Joel and he had a scowl on his face.

“Jesus Christ, Joel. You scared the shit out of me,” you said in an annoyed tone, trying to quell your racing heartbeat.

“The fuckin’ night shift?!” he said gruffly, still towering over you. 

“And what about it?” you challenged, folding your arms. 

“What was the fuckin’ reason for it,” he replied, sitting across from you on the bed.

“Thought about what you said yesterday… Seemed like the right thing to do if we’re gonna move on from each other…”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, but you don’t go and do something rash like that.”

“Something rash? You mean just swapping my work schedule? Last time I checked I didn’t have to consult with you about that.”

He fell silent so you continued, “You can’t just say you’re done with me; that you’re trying to move on, and then come here and get upset because I changed my work schedule. I’m sick of the fucking mixed signals, Joel. You either want me or you don’t.”

You finished your little speech with a loud sigh, sounding annoyed as fuck. The audacity of this man was unbelievable. He can take home some other woman the night before but come to your house, when you’re sleeping, and get all possessive? Enough was enough.

You scooched closer to him on the bed. 

“So what’s it gonna be, huh? Make up your fucking mind.”

Without warning his lips crashed against yours. His kisses were messy and sloppy. And almost angry. His hands found themselves in your hair. This was the exact opposite of what you should be doing but you didn’t care. You missed him so much. 

He pushed against you, coaxing you to lie down on the bed. And when you did, he hovered over you with a hungry, insatiable look in his eyes. He returned to kiss you messily while his hands roamed the rest of your body, trailing down to the pants you were wearing, thumbing at the waistband. You moaned softly underneath him and he pulled off your pants, tossing them on the floor. His hand grazed up your thigh, resting on your cunt that was growing wet in anticipation. 

“Bet you missed this,” he whispered against your ear. 

You let out a small whimper in response as his fingers teased your entrance, brushing against the wet, tender flesh. 

“You’re already so wet for me, darlin’.”

Darlin. That was an older pet name Joel had given you. And it’s been a while since you’ve heard it. That fucker knew exactly what he was doing. He knew all the ways to make you melt under his touch. 

You spread your legs open for him, gaining him access to slip a finger inside you. His mouth found your neck, peppering it with sloppy kisses. You rocked your hips against his hand, desperate for more. And when he finally gave you another finger, you felt the pleasure in your core building more and more. 

His mouth left your neck and trailed down to your entrance, licking small, soft circles around your sensitive clit. You knew you weren’t gonna last long like this, his fingers hitting your g-spot perfectly and his tongue caressing your clit in a way that sent you into intense euphoria. He always knew how to get you cum quickly and hard. 

“I’m gonna cum, Joel,” you whined. 

He moaned against your clit in response, letting you know he wanted to feel it. And when you did cum, it was intense. Your cunt fluttered around his fingers as he pumped them in and out of you relentlessly. You soaked his face in your cum as you rode out your high, rocking your hips against him. Once you were done coming, you collapsed your hips back down on the bed, legs still shaking. 

You were catching your breath when he looked up from your cunt and said “Not done with you yet, darlin’.”

He stood up from the bed for a moment to remove his clothes. You took the moment to sit up and pull off your shirt over your head, tossing it on the floor with your pants. He returned to the bed and hovered over you by your face. 

“Ready for me?”

You nodded and he aligned himself with your entrance, thrusting his hard cock into you extra slow to drive you insane. He took your legs and put them over his shoulders before you even had time to adjust to his size. It’d been a month since you’d taken his cock and you weren’t used to his size anymore. 

He leaned down so you were face to face, legs pushed back towards your head hitting the perfect angle inside you. It was intense and all you could do was moan and whimper as he fucked your wet, little cunt incessantly.

“Can’t tell you how much I missed this perfect cunt, darlin’. It’s like it was made for me.”

Between his dirty talk and the angle he was hitting inside you, you weren't gonna last long. You felt your walls tense up in anticipation of release. He sensed it too and thrusted in and out of you harder and harder, anxious to feel you cum around his cock.

“Give it to me, sugar. Cum on my cock.”

And when you did, it nearly sent him over the edge. He willed himself to wait until your release was over before pulling out. Stars prickled your vision and tears welled up in the corner of your eyes. Your release was intense, convulsing his cock like a vice. As he felt your orgasm come to an end, he pulled out. You reached in between your legs and stroked him to completion, coating your stomach in thick, white ropes of cum.

He slumped down on the bed next to you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Neither of you dared to say a word as the feeling of regret started to sink in. You let your thoughts run wild as if to avoid talking about what just happened.

“You got a 9 to 5 so I’ll take the night shift

And I’ll never see you again if I can help it”

Maybe you couldn’t help it after all.

[sstan-hoe]

a sinner i am part v

If its so wrong, why does it feel so good?

trope: Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader this chapter summary: You and Joel promise to stay away from one another but the tension proves too much for either of you to handle. warning: ur girl is getting her oral on, joel's a dirty old man, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golfand he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. words 3.2k rating: E taglist: @lady-viscera | @cjdign | @fuckthatbazinga | @liciafonseca | @stevie75 | @joelalorian | @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff | @akah565 | @dontknow446 | @pedritosgfreal | @yesjazzywazzylove-blog | @untamedheart81 | @ashleyfilm | @sptbear | @elegantduckturtle | @noneofmyshipsarereal | @blahkateisdone | @hisandsnakes | @wintersquirrel | @shivkillian | @auteurdelabre | @sheepdogchick3 | @moel-jiller | @cuteanimalmama | @gossipgirl-03 | @cowboymarcs | @tahi2006 | @guelyury | @churchofjoemiller | @r3dheadedwitch | @tutarrads | @galway-girlatwork | @supertoga | @ghostofzion | @casssiopeia | @tateypots | @yxtkiwiyxt | @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 | @pastelpinkflowerlife | @inept-the-magnificent | @meleekabenjamin | @stevie75 | @animejunki5 | @zooty-and-fruity | @drunk-and-capable | @lunpycatavenue | @joelssluttyknee | @getitoutofmymindwrites | @swankyorange | @joeldidnothingwrong | @thischarmingmandalorian | @604to647 | @pedr0swh0r3 | @josephquinnswhore

wanna see my other stuff?

part v : fire dance

"Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about." — Sarah Nader

We'll be home soon luv u

You look at the text Shawn sent you and feel revulsion go through you. Your mouth still tastes of his father's cum, your pussy still soaked, your nipples so hard they throb. 

You can't face Shawn in this state. He'll know something is up. You want to talk to Joel but you don't know what you'd say. 

And you'd have to go into his bedroom where he's been for the last twenty minutes, silent as a statue. 

You decide the pool is a good place to go for further contemplating. You throw on your bikini, grab your sunglasses and beach bag and you slide out the door, careful not to disturb Joel. 

Joel sits on the edge of his bed nauseated as he thinks about what just happened. He's dressed now, his hair drying into loose curls. He can't stop his heart from ping pinging around in his chest. 

What did he just do? He stood in front of you naked, fucked your mouth and urged you to swallow his cum. You, his son's girlfriend. 

How is he supposed to look you in the eyes? How can he face his son? His girlfriend? He threw everything away for five minutes of bliss. 

"We're home!" 

Tess' voice calls out as she and Shawn walk in and he feels his mouth fill with bile. 

You're going to say something, he's sure of it. You're going to confess and his life will be ruined. His son will never speak to him again, Tess will ruin his reputation at work. 

He exits the bedroom with a forced smile on his face. He hopes you won't say anything. 

"You two were fast."

"Yeah coming down wasn't that bad," Shawn says as he glances around. "You see where Sleeping Beauty went?"

"Huh?"

Shawn motions to the empty bedroom. "I thought she'd still be sleeping but the beds empty."

"Is it? I've been working on emails all morning so I guess I didn't hear her leave." 

You must have sneaked out while Joel berated himself. That's fine by him, it gives him time to talk with you before things blow up. 

"Poor man," Tess sympathizers with a kiss to his bearded cheek. "I'm gonna grab a shower."

"I call dibs on the next one," Shawn says distracted as he types on his phone. "I need to get this dirt off."  

"I'm gonna take a walk," Joel announces casually. "I'll bring y'all back something to eat."

He leaves quickly walking over towards the pool of the resort. There are only so many places you can be. 

You're huddled in the empty cabana with your knees drawn up to your chest. You're forehead balances on your kneecaps. 

You look out at the ocean wishing you could just swim home to Texas. This trip that was supposed to be such a dream is just a nightmare. 

You sucked off your boyfriend dad and you liked it. You liked that his cock was so much bigger, that he spoke sweetly to you as you hollowed your cheeks. You loved the expression he wore when he came down your throat. You'd never seen Joel like that before; exposed and domineering. 

"Hi." 

You glance up to see Joel entering the Cabana with a shy wave. Your stomach flips. 

"Hey." 

Joel looks warily at you for a beat before he takes a seat at the end of your lounge chair. Normally the proximity would go unnoticed, but after everything all you can concentrate on is the heat of his body and how good he looks in his swim trunks and t-shirt. 

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Joel admits to you. "I can't believe I did that."

"We did that."

"I'm the adult."

"I'm twenty three years old Joel. That's hardly a kid." 

"Since my son is your age you'll have to forgive me, but that's young," Joel says with a sigh. He rubs the crinkled space between his eyebrows. "Something changed on this trip and I don't know how to get it back to where it was."

"I don't know that we can."

You feel sad and Joel watches as you lower your chin to your kneecap. Joel looks into the glittering ocean. 

"I'm just scared about ruining everyone's lives. Not just ours but Shawn and Tess."

"Me too."

Joel exhales long and slow like a deflating balloon. 

"So, what do you think we should do?"

The two of you lock eyes and it's like you're both transported back into that bathroom. You on your knees with his dick in your mouth. Joel feels his cock hardening in the mesh of his swim trunks. You squirm at how aroused you are at the memory. 

"We gotta stay away from each other," you tell him shakily. "We can't be alone like this." 

"You're right," Joel nods emphatically. "It's only a few more days and then we're home and things are back to normal. It'll be fine." 

You feel a bit of hope at this. You straighten, your eyes blinking doe-like with relief. It's not like you saw Joel all the time at home! 

"So we'll just never talk about this again, we can pretend it never happened and after the trip everything can just be how it was with us barely seeing each other."

"Exactly."

"Great." You almost cry relieved tears. A part of you had been so terrified that Joel would want to confess to everything. 

Joel smiles politely but you don't miss how his eyes rake over your flimsy swimsuit. 

"I should get back," he murmurs, eyes stuck on your hardening nipples. "For what it's worth I'm sorry I asked you to... Do that back there." 

Your pussy has a heartbeat right now. You can't stop remembering how it felt to make him cum. 

You'll swallow mine won't you baby girl?

Your eyes shut tightly as you try to block out the images. 

"We don't have to talk about it Joel." 

By the time you open your eyes to look at him he's gone. 

Shawn and you spend the day on the beach tanning and swimming while Tess and Joel go into town for a coffee tour

Walking around the plantation hand in hand with Tess Joel tries to focus on how they roast their beans, the process that makes their coffee less acidic. 

But all he can think about is how you looked on your knees for him. The way you looked stuffed full him, of you knowing how wrong it was. What would it be like to sink into your warm pussy? 

His cock is weeping by the time they're back at the rental car and Tess is amused as Joel drives them back to the resort. 

"Joel what's gotten into you?" Tess giggles as her hand squeezes his cock. "You're never this horny."  

"Must be being on vacation," Joel says with a charming grin. "You wanna help me out with it?"

Tess giggles and looks around the fairly unoccupied road. Joel groans as he feels her unzip his shorts. 

He grunts when he feels her mouth descend over the head of his cock. He keeps his eyes on the road, sure to keep her shielded from the passing cars.

"That's it, just like that." 

She bobs her head slowly up and down and hollows her cheeks and it feels good but Joel can't stop the running narration in his head. 

She's not doing it right. You did this little tongue thing that she isn't doing. You took him so deep. 

She moans and he looks at her head in his lap and tries to will his cock to explode

She's getting him there but it's too slow, he needs more friction

His hand goes to the back of Tess ' head, pushing her lightly down to the base and thrusting up into her mouth. He keeps his eyes on the road while he furiously fucks into her wet mouth. 

"Take daddy's thick cock all the way, uh huh, c'mon, gonna cum down your filthy fuckin throat." 

Tess splutters a gag before pulling off of him and glaring. She wipes her drooling mouth with the back of her hand.

"What the fuck was that Joel?"

"What?" Joel asks still hard and flushed as he drives.

"The daddy shit, the aggressive way you just---" Tess trails off shaking her head. "This doesn't feel like you."

Joel's fingers tighten around the steering wheel. He feels disgusting and humiliated all at the same time. 

"Thought we were having a good time," he mutters in shame. 

Tess looks chagrined and tries to make peace. 

"Joel---"

Joel feels heat creeping up his chest as he shoves himself back into his shorts with one hand. 

"Just forget it."

Two days pass in relative tension free fun. You and Joel stay away from one another and feeling guilty you lavish affection onto Shawn. 

Joel rents a cabana for the four of you again, hoping to recapture the innocent fun of the start of the trip, back before he fucked your mouth. 

Shawn seems dedicated to giving you tons of attention, grabbing you at every possible moment. A paranoid part of you is concern that perhaps he knows something is wrong. But he seems happy, almost eager to show you how much he cares. 

"Let's go swim," he suggests before lunch, surprising you. You agree, taking off into the ocean with him. 

Joel watches all of this from behind his sunglasses feeling irritated. Not just because Tess is giving him the cold shoulder, asleep under her hat. You're out there in your bikini, tits spilling out, giggling with Shawn like nothing happened. He knows he should be thankful for it, but he can't stop being pissed off. 

He needs more of you. More time spent in your company even if it is with Tess and Shawn. When the two of you come dripping in from the water he gives you all a broad smile. 

"Hey ya'll wanna check out the fire show tonight? If you do I'll make reservations."

"Yeah," Shawn agrees eagerly. "That sounds awesome."

"Sure," Tess mutters from under her straw hat. 

Joel turns his sights on you standing quietly nearby. "How about you, darlin'?" 

You swallow your nerves.

"I'd love to."

Joel smiles broadly, making his face look even more handsome.

"It's a date." 

Hours later the four of you are ready to leave for the resort. You feel cute in your sundress and Shawn looks great. You can't help but observe that sun-kissed and showered, Joel looks so fucking sexy. 

He and Tess seem a bit tense, but that might just be you projecting. 

"Let's go," Joel says smiling at you when a buzzing emits from his pocket. He brings it out scanning the screen before offering a soft "fuck" under his breath. 

Tess looks at him with raised brows. 

"What's up?" 

Joel continues to scan his phone, exhaling as he reads the highlights of his emails. 

"Fuck. Owens says it's urgent." 

Tess frowns. "I thought you weren't working on this trip."

Joel shoots her a dark look. "Tess I own the company. You know I can't just ignore these."

Tess huffs a sigh before shaking her head and moving out the door. You and Shawn watch after her feeling awkward. 

Joel is already turning to go back to his bedroom where his laptop rests. 

"You guys go, I'll try to make this fast."

Shawn looks disappointed but he nods. He's used to this having grown up with Joel's schedule.  

You and Shawn are hand in hand on the way to the resort when he finally talks. 

"This is why it don't want to take over my Dad's company. I don't want that kind of life, never getting a break."

"Why don't you tell him that?" You ask seriously when you realize Shawn looks like he's near tears. 

"I can't disappoint my dad. I'm all he has."

"He has Tess."

"You think she's gonna stick around with a guy who puts work before everything?"

The theatre in the resort is already busy with people wearing Hawaiian shirts and drinking out of pineapple themed glasses. 

"Should we save my dad a seat?" Shawn asks Tess as you find some free seats. She sighs before shaking her head. 

"Don't bother. Owens never shuts up. Your dad will be on that call for hours." She sighs wearily before flagging down a waiter and ordering gin and tonics for the three of you. The man looks at your wrist frowning. 

"I'm sorry, Miss. I cannot serve you without the band."

"Darn, I forgot," you say as you look at your unadorned wrist. The one you need for resort drinks. "I'll go grab it."

"Hurry, the show is gonna start soon," Shawn frowns up at you. 

"I'll be quick," you insist. Fire dancing wasn't even something you were very interested in anyway. 

You jog back to the bungalow and you're thankful that when you enter Joel is in his bedroom. You can hear him talking in low, urgent tones behind the closed door. 

You slip into your bedroom, looking for the plastic band they give all guests at the start of their vacation. The one that designates if you're old enough to drink. You crawl onto the made bed, sweeping behind where the mattress meets the wall in case it got wedged there. 

Joel's phone call ends sooner than expected. He looks at the time and sees he can still be in time for the fire dancing. He steps out into the hallway when he hears a rustling noise from the opposite bedroom. 

Are they getting broken into?

Joel walks into the second bedroom, investigating the noise and feels his stomach flip. 

You're knelt on the bed, ass in the air as you search for something. Your panties are on full display under your summer dress and Joel can see the outline of your pussy. 

At the sound of Joel entering you twist and look over your shoulder. 

Joel's eyes are stuck on your pussy. And as you realize this you feel your cunt throb. 

"I'm just looking for the drink band." 

Joel doesn't reply before he steals over to your bed, his large hands resting on your hips. He spins you around before urging you backwards. 

"Joel, I----"

"I need to taste your cunt," he tells you in simple terms, pressing you back onto the bed. "Open for me." 

Your face flames and you feel helpless to what's going to happen, because deep down you want it to happen. 

"Joel we shouldn't." 

"Just once," he promises you, urging your thighs apart with his large hands. "Just need to taste it once and never again."

It's pitiful, the same thing he said only days ago when you were on your knees in the bathroom but you don't care. 

"Yea, okay," you nod, already leaning back onto the bed and parting your legs for him. 

Joel kisses his way down your belly before tugging your panties down your legs, widening you for him to inhale and groan.

You're so wet you're drooling and Joel feels his cock tighten painfully at how puffy and needy she is. 

"Pussy this messy just for me?" 

He glances up to see your hooded eyes trained on him. You can only nod. Joel grins a broad white stripe against the tan of his face. 

He throws your legs over his broad shoulders, the sensation of his crisp shirt against the soft of your thighs. Your knees crook, feet bare. 

He doesn't say more, he just licks between the seam of your lips, groaning at the taste. 

"Sweetest fucking cunt I've ever tasted." 

Your eyes cheat to the back of your head at this, hands fisting the bedsheets. He makes out with your pussy, eyes closed and his nose pressing against your swollen clit. 

You know that this is the worst thing you've ever done; falling into bed with your boyfriend's father. But it feels so good. Shawn rarely goes down on you and when he does it's all prodding and poking. Not this sensual slow lick and suckle before giving a rumbling groan, like he can't believe how good you taste. 

Joel builds you up slowly despite time not being on your side. He holds you in place with one arm banded across your waist when you squirm. He keeps sneaking looks between licks to see your mouth hung open wide, moans and whines escaping you. 

Shouldn't be doing this. She's Shawns girlfriend. But look at her fucking body. I'm fucking sick. Fuck she wants this. Sweetest cunt. I'm a bad man. She's gonna cum hard. I'm making her cum so fucking hard, gonna drink her down. 

Your eyes drift down your body to where Joel kneels between your spread thighs. The curls are brushed back from his handsome face, his mouth glistening with your arousal. His dark eyes blaze into yours, a wolfish smile accompanying. 

His fingers dimple your ass as he moves his hands to clutch you, his tongue twisting and curling as you make breathy begging noises for him to keep going. 

Joel can't believe he's doing this and that you're so responsive to his touch. And he can't believe that he's fucking your slot with just his tongue and you're already twitching. 

"I'm so close!" 

Your eyes are on him, glazed and far away. He knows that look, he's seen it on many women. Despite this he hardens further at your expression. 

"Feels good doesn't it," he murmurs before lapping gently at your clit. You whimper and nod, hips rolling. 

"Gonna cum on my tongue baby girl?"

Joel watches your brows knit together as your back arches at his words but he's not ready for what you whine out next. 

"Yes Daddy." 

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. It's sick and twisted and he feels his cock twitch violently before painting the inside of his boxers. He feels your cunt tighten before you release into his mouth. You're crying out, thighs trembling against his ears. 

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," Joel chats against your pussy, licking you as his orgasm tears through him. "So fucking good for Daddy. Daddy's good girl." 

After a moment Joel gently shrugs your legs from his shoulders, but not before placing a delicate kiss on your inner thigh. As your orgasms ebb and the distant sound of clapping intrudes from the bedroom window you jerk up in bed. 

"The show!" 

"If you go now you can still catch most of it," he tells you with a quick glance at his watch. 

You nod, going to the dresser and pulling on new panties as Joel watches you. You are about to leave when Joel catches you by the wrist. 

"We can't do this again," Joel says huskily. "This is so fucked up." 

You don't respond to that other than to stand in front of him and you watch his chest expand with every deep inhale. Eventually you stand up on your tiptoes to press a warm kiss to his bearded cheek. 

"Goodnight, Daddy." 

please leave me comments or i dont wanna keep going ;p

[sstan-hoe]

“lovers once a year” | 9.4k

dbf!joel miller x f!reader

SUMMARY: One always craves what is out of reach. Like the forbidden fruit that lingers just beyond grasp, tempting with its sweetness. Joel became the town’s greatest sinner, and you, his best friend’s daughter, are the tantalizing temptation he knows he should never indulge in. Your very existence marks the path to his ruin. He can't help but follow it. WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ cursing. drinking. dirty talk. joel’s POV. a lot of introspection. mentions of alcohol. miscommunication. no outbreak. dbf!joel. age gap (25 and 56). religious imagery. car sex. oral sex (f!receiving). fingering. unprotected p in v. riding. missionary. doggy style. orgasm denial. crying. hair pulling. thumb/finger sucking. cum shot. creampie. reader sits on joel’s lap and has hair. moodboard for aesthetic purposes only. A/N: the fact this idea has been sitting on my drafts for over a year is just crazy. i finally found the time to put into words, and i know i’m a little late to the whole dbf!joel trope, but i’m a real sucker for it... hope you like this one! <3

No one could’ve ever said Joel was a great best friend.

For one, he was terrible at remembering important dates. His mind just didn’t catch hold of details like that—never had, really. He wasn’t the sentimental type, either. At best, he’d manage a pat on the back or a firm handshake, maybe even a call on Christmas if he remembered. Emotional displays weren’t in his nature, far too used to keeping things at arm’s length.

Luckily for him, Stephen never seemed to care much about these things. They’d been friends for over forty years—which is, well, a hell of a long time, especially considering each had gone off to carve out his own life. They’d trudged through both primary and secondary school side by side, and Joel felt Stephen’s absence like a hollow ache the day his friend left for university in another state.

Technology eventually offered them more ways to connect, but it didn’t make keeping up any simpler. The years had tested them, and somehow, they’d held on to the quiet strength of their friendship—a bond they’d forged across decades and distance, held steady like the roots of an old tree.

Stephen was the laid-back type, always down for anything as long as a cold beer was part of the deal. It was rare for him to lose his temper, having a way of letting nuisances slide. Joel could bend every rule, yet Stephen’s patience never wavered. He was unflappable, hardly bothered by Joel’s mood swings, which was what made them a match made in heaven. Nothing could throw him off.

Though Joel doubts Stephen would stay so calm if he knew what he’d done to his daughter. As mentioned, Joel’s not exactly what you’d call a good friend—particularly considering he’s slept with his best friend’s daughter. Just once, to be fair. One ephemeral, impulsive encounter. Right here, in this very house, exactly three hundred and sixty-five days ago.

His gaze drifts across the room, settling on you at a smaller table a few meters away, surrounded by your younger cousins, ages five to fifteen. He watches as you scroll absent-mindedly on your phone, your brow furrowed in concentration, only tearing your eyes away from the screen when one of the kids hurls a handful of salty peanuts at you.

You press your palms flat against the tablecloth, eyes narrowing as you scowl playfully at the child, a mischievous glint in your expression. “You’ve got ten seconds to run,” you utter in a tone meant to sound ominous, tickling his sides until he erupts in laughter, his giggles filling the dining room with raw joy.

Joel’s been here for over two hours, but he can’t recall a single detail about the night’s events. All he knows is you—he’s studied your every movement, following the shape of your silhouette through the crowd. He’s accepted a few drinks, engaged in shallow conversation with your relatives, trying his best to play the part of a man with nothing to hide. But despite his efforts, despite every attempt to appear unaffected, he feels a slow burn kindling in the pit of his stomach, an ache that curls through him in a deliciously destructive way.

It’s when you look up, locking eyes with him, that he nearly mutilates the chicken breast on his plate, the knife skittering over porcelain with a screech. He quickly mutters an apology, excusing his clumsiness and blaming it on one too many drinks. Meanwhile, you don’t quit glaring at him, a hint of a challenge dancing in your stare.

This shouldn’t feel the way it does, this hazardous, risky game you’re playing. At one time, he might’ve thought this was something only seen in movies, something imagined and unreal. But here you are, and here he is, and the indisputable hunger in your eyes is as real as anything he’s ever known.

Suddenly, his memories drift back to a year ago, to your grandmother’s 84th birthday—the night it all began.

Stephen had left Austin when he was eighteen to pursue a college degree. That’s how he’d ended up in New York, and from that point on, he never came back. It’d been amazing to see him as an equal when they were teenagers, but as they grew older, the only things they shared were the white hairs scattered all over their beards and the memories of much better days.

Whenever they got in touch—which didn’t happen often—your dad would talk about you. You were just a name without a face, an empty canvas. Close to graduating, with only a few subjects and finals left. Psychology was your major—weren’t you smart? Joel remembers typing back with a string of exclamation marks to show his contentment. His best friend’s daughter was a success; how could he not be happy?

One random day, Joel’s phone buzzed late in the afternoon, flashing with Stephen’s name. It was rare for them to talk outside the usual birthdays and holidays, so seeing his name on the screen sent a small jolt through him. A dozen scenarios raced through his mind as he picked up, each one edging between concern and curiosity.

Just like that, Stephen dropped the news without any preamble. “I’m moving back to Austin,” His voice came in clear, and there was something unusual about it, brisk but almost nostalgic. Joel gripped the phone a little tighter, processing the words. “In fact, I’m filling up the gas tank as we speak. There’s someone at home who wants to see you.”

That someone had been your grandmother. With a twinkle in her eye, she’d insisted on inviting Joel to her 84th birthday. “It’s the perfect chance for you two to reconnect,” she’d declared, her tone laced with warmth and hope. She adored Joel, practically worshipping the ground he walked on, often reminiscing about the vibrant young man he had once been.

Who could deny anything to an elderly person, especially one as cherished as her? He was strong, physically imposing, but not strong enough to resist her wishes.

The reunion was going as well as it could, given the circumstances. After all, it was a strange kind of delight, seeing his best friend for the first time in decades. Joel thought they’d do what friends do—sit back, drink, smoke, and trade stories about the good old days. 

Then you walked into the room, absolutely gorgeous and with a smile that was all teeth, and you reached out to shake Joel’s hand as you introduced yourself. The contrast hit him instantly—your skin was satin-like against his, smooth where his was rough and calloused from years of handling concrete and steel. A subtle heat bloomed where your fingers touched, the chill of the rings on your hand sending a shiver through him, as if his senses had sharpened in that brief instant.

You pulled away, taking a step back, your eyes flicking between him and your dad. Joel’s arm fell back to his side, his hand forming a tight fist, the bite of his nails embedded into his palm to keep him grounded. But he couldn’t stop himself from scrutinizing you—every detail of your face, the curve of your smile, the effortless way you carried yourself. Your beauty was at fault, not him. You were completely out of reach, yet close enough to marvel at. He was no more than a man, bound to notice the charm of a pretty girl like you.

That you happened to be the daughter of his best friend—that was just a cruel stroke of fate. 

“Oh, sweetie. I’m glad you got to meet Joel at last!” Stephen’s voice cut through his thoughts, an arm draping across Joel’s shoulders, pulling him into an affectionate embrace. “He’s that friend from school I’ve been telling you about.”

Stephen looked so at ease, so utterly pleased, that Joel could only swallow back the lump in his throat. What kind of sick joke was this? What could he have possibly done to deserve this twist of the knife?

With a soft laugh, you folded your hands behind your back, tilting your head to the right. “My father wouldn’t shut up about you,” you said, light and melodic, drawing him in like a lure. Joel found himself adrift in the sweet cadence of your voice, entranced by the delicate chain glinting at your throat, resting just above the neckline of your shirt, the v-cut hinting at a world of temptation.

He blinked owlishly, fighting the images clawing behind his eyelids. “Well, he’s a good man, your father,” Joel managed, his smile strained. Not because it wasn’t true, but because there was a blaring alarm in his head, warning him to get a fucking grip. He knew himself well enough to read the signs, the underlying meaning beneath these nerves, the quickened pulse, the quiet, undeniable urge to reach out and feel you.

He was gone already. He fancied you, and his mind raced with thoughts he knew he had no right to entertain. He imagined what you’d taste like, the way you might sound if he were between your legs, encouraging you to gasp his name. Yet, he was aware that these fantasies were as treacherous as they were forbidden, even more with you standing right in front of him. And your father, just inches away.

From the kitchen, someone called out to Stephen, and with a weary sigh, he unhooked himself from Joel’s shoulder. “Coming!” he shouted back, already angling himself toward the door. He glanced back at the two of you, half-smiling while rubbing his temples. “I forgot how exhausting it is to host a family birthday party. I’ll be right back. You two go ahead and chat without me.”

Fuck, no, Joel thought to himself. Don’t leave me here. Where the hell are you going?

Joel resorted to remaining silent, choosing instead to take a long sip of his beer to avoid the occasion of sin. He refused to look in your direction, fixing his gaze on anything that didn’t involve your bare legs—the same legs he’d just been eyeing in those damn denim shorts, which exquisitely hugged your thighs. But, then again, he shouldn’t even be noticing that.

As he peered down at the carpet, he couldn’t ignore the movement of your shoes as you stepped closer. He observed your fingers playing idly with the frayed edges of your shorts, your body inching nearer, and he braced himself in anticipation of whatever you might say next. When his eyes landed on yours, he was met with an aura of expectancy, a cocky smirk pulling at your lips.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in the flesh, Mr. Miller,” you murmured, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed with effort. Letting your hand linger beside your face, you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, glancing at him through your lashes. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Joel felt the flush rise to his cheeks, and there was no mistaking it—you were doing this on purpose. Were you trying to push him off balance, to see how far he’d bend before snapping? Was this just a game for you, a bit of mischief to spice up a family gathering? The idea irritated him, but he couldn’t entirely ignore the thrill woven into the discomfort. A quarter of his mind itched to play along, but the rest of him screamed to find the nearest exit.

“Y’can just call me Joel. No needa be so formal,” he mumbled, lifting the beer bottle to his lips once again, the bitterness spreading across his tongue.

“But I like Mr. Miller better.”

His mind conjured all those images of fire and damnation, of being dragged to some dark, smoldering pit. Rotting in hell, he could already see himself within the flames. Tugging at the collar of his flannel, now too tight and hot, he gave a rough, clearing cough. “M’gonna—go find your dad.”

He was glad you didn’t try to approach him in public again. For a few hours, he felt something close to tranquillity—not fully, though, as he could still hear echoes of your voice in the silences. Every so often, out of the corner of his eye, he’d catch you orbiting near him, lurking in his peripheral vision, even though you sat at a different table.

Later in the night, he wandered upstairs in search of the bathroom, instead stumbling upon your father’s childhood bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and he took the liberty to enter it, a familiar scent filling the room. He ran his fingers over the walls, still papered with posters he recognized well. It was as if time had paused there—everything remained as it had the last time he’d been in this very room. The framed portraits, the worn bedspread, and Stephen’s desk, scattered with foreign bills under a layer of glass, each one a memento from the different countries he had visited.

It was only a matter of time before you found him, a light knock on the open door drawing his attention. Joel turned on his heels, catching sight of you, acknowledging your presence with a slight bow of his head. You ambled toward him, curiosity alight in your steps, twisting the chain of your necklace, a restless gesture that betrayed the energy simmering beneath your calm exterior.

He scratched the back of his head, offering a half-hearted smile. “This isn’t the bathroom, right?” he joked, attempting a casual tone. The joke was a weak one, admittedly, but you laughed anyway, a nonchalant sound that showed the gleam of your teeth.

“No, I don’t think it is,” you replied, sliding onto the edge of the desk with an effortless ease. “What brought you here?”

“Birthday parties can be a bit overwhelmin', dontcha think?” 

“Totally.”

And then you went back to watching him, your eyes tracing his features with an almost stubborn intensity. 

“You gonna stop doin' that?” he asked, the words coming out sharper than he meant, though they didn't make you flinch.

“Doing what, exactly?”

“Lookin' at me all doe-eyed.” His voice didn’t waver, but he advanced in your direction. His knees nearly brushed against yours, the weathered denim grazing your bare skin, and only then did a flicker of uncertainty soften your confident stance. “Whatever it is you’re after, it’s not gonna happen. So quit tryin’.”

You drew in a slow breath, pushing yourself to your feet. “You sure about that?” Before he had the time to react, you were standing inches from him, your chest pressing against his, just close enough for him to feel the soft weight of your breasts. “Should I pretend, then, that I haven’t noticed you’ve been half-hard all night?”

Joel's jaw tightened, his teeth gritting almost painfully. His fists flexed by his sides, his entire body feeling heavier, muscles pulled taut by some invisible thread. "Watch your mouth.”

“Or what?” You hooked a finger inside his belt loop, tugging him that much closer. Your breath, fresh and minty, mingled with the faint scent of your perfume, and he inhaled both, heady on the mix. “You’re gonna teach me a lesson?”

There was only so much patience a man like him could summon, and you were a thorn in his flesh, determined and unyielding. He leaned in, voice gruff as he uttered three words that made your brows knit together. “Close the door.” You stayed frozen, lips parting in surprise. “Did y’hear me? M’not into exhibitionism. Close. The. Door.”

You did as he asked, obliging, stepping back to close the door before returning to your place. Without warning, he turned you around, pressing your palms flat against the cool glass of the desk, a sharp chill that made you yelp. His hand settled firmly on your back, guiding you down until your chest was flush against the surface as well. In one swift motion, your shorts were gone, followed by your soaked panties, a damp spot where your arousal had begun to seep through.

He slipped his fingers inside you first, his hand covering your mouth to stifle the needy whimpers escaping your lips. The roughness of his beard grazed your cheek as he hovered over you, his breath hot in your ear as he spoke. “Bein’ too fuckin’ loud, doll.” Matching the rhythm of the slow drag of his fingers, his hips pressed forward, grinding against the curve of your ass, each movement making his mouth go dry. “Y’want this cock that bad?” He nipped at your throat, and you, against his sweaty palm, mumbled what could have only been a muffled Yes. “Then I need y’to keep real quiet for me, alright?”

His jeans and boxers hung around his knees, his cock leaking and throbbing at the tip. Joel realized what true desperation felt like, dangerously close to busting his load at any given moment before even getting the chance to be fully inside you. On top of the desk, your body trembled, and you reached back, pulling your top higher up to bare more of yourself to him. He unclasped your bra with one hand, while his other guided him to your entrance, his lips pressing reverently against your spine as he pushed inside, savoring the heat of your walls wrapping around him for the first time. It certainly didn’t feel like anything he’d ever experienced in his fifty-six years of life.

It had been short, and harsh, and fast. Borderline animalistic, what experts would label as a quick fuck. The moment he breached your entrance, you begged for more, fucking yourself back onto him until his thighs met your skin. You acted as if possessed by a greater entity, diabolic, though Joel didn’t mind it. He relished it, welcomed it. But he couldn’t let you take the reins. He asserted his dominance, snapping his hips forward with a force that drew moans from the depths of your lungs. He was the one in control, driving himself deeper and deeper within you. Suffice it to say you seemed to love it, if the sounds he elicited from you were anything to go by.

It was what you wanted, what you needed. One way or another, he’d caught onto what those lingering glances throughout the party had signified. Every glance you’d thrown his way had been leading to this—a silent promise that whatever was happening had been destined to be the night’s climax.

You bit down on his palm as you reached your peak, tightening around him, and perhaps it was the thrill of it all, the knowledge that he’d need far more time to become well acquainted with your body, that had him chasing after you. Holding back until you came had been a feat, pulling out seconds prior to his release, stroking his length once before painting your skin with his seed. A low, primal groan escaped him as he slid his length between your cheeks, prolonging his high, each heated pulse marking you in a way that felt undeniably his.

As he regained his composure, he watched you swirl your thumb along your lower back, collecting a trace of his release, and bringing it to your lips to have a taste of him. You softly laughed when he cursed under his breath, turning your face lazily to the side. “Damn minx y’are,” he rasped, closing the gap between your mouths, his claiming yours in an urgent kiss. Your mewls faded beneath the insistent press of his mouth as he sought to suppress the strange pull in his guts, reluctant to confront the unfamiliar sensations churning within him.

Things wrapped up quickly after that. You both returned to your places, resuming the roles you’d stepped out of briefly: Joel had been in the bathroom; you had been on the phone with a friend. When he reappeared downstairs minutes after you, no one thought twice about his slightly damp hair.

For the remainder of the party, the two of you exchanged no further words. The time for him to leave came, and he offered only a nod of his head across the packed living room. It was a farewell only Joel would give, a subtle acknowledgment that left you wondering about its meaning. There were no explanations, no parting words.

The next time he saw your father, the mere thought of seeing you again terrified him. If it’d happened once, then the temptation would still remain undiminished, strong enough to awaken the lust and the longing veiled in silence. But you weren’t there anymore—back in New York, focused on finishing your semester at college. The surprise must have been evident on Joel’s face, a bewilderment that prompted Stephen to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Remember I told you she hasn’t graduated yet?”

“Yeah, yeah. I remember now,” he said, wishing to convince both your father and himself.

You were out of the picture, no longer around. Yet, the two of you now shared a secret. You still do, to this day. He’s no stranger to the notion that some things never seem to change. After all, he’s a creature of habit—same breakfast every morning, same brand of bread he’s been buying for years. Like all his other preferences, he’s come to realize he likes his women a certain way. And though he hates to admit it, you fit the bill perfectly.

Betty, Stephen’s mother, was turning eighty-five tonight. A seat with Joel’s name was saved at the big table; they wanted him there, his best friend and his best friend’s mother. How nice it was to actually feel wanted. He liked that feeling. Still, he’d had to bite his tongue when your father mentioned you’d be there, too. You had graduated at long last, with your birthday having been just a couple of weeks ago.

“Can’t believe she’s twenty-five already,” Stephen muttered with a chuckle, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

Sitting beside him, Joel gripped the arm of his chair, sinking his nails into it. “Me neither, man.”

His choices had led him to this moment. The clinking of glasses rings in his ears, blending with laughter and the rich aroma of food that fills the air. None of it manages to distract him. He can't help but track you down, eyes scanning the room, relentless in their pursuit of yours. The need to see you goes beyond any shred of restraint he might have faked to have. Joel can’t muster the decorum to feign indifference—God, not when you’re near, when the pull toward you feels like gravity itself. He’s keenly, almost painfully aware, that he’s not even pretending to be indifferent, his interest etched plainly in the way his gaze persists, refusing to pull away.

It’s his first time seeing you in a year. A lot can change in that span of time. He can’t help but be amazed, because you look just the same as you did back then. Only your hair’s a touch shorter. He wonders if it’s even noticeable, or if he’s just spent so long memorizing your features that he’s losing his sanity. He bets it’s the latter.

A light pressure on his shoulder makes Joel jump, breaking down his reverie. He turns quickly, eyes widening. "Betty," he exhales, patting his chest with a smile, eyebrows lifted. "Jeez. Y’scared me."

“Y’alright, Joely? Y’look a bit pale.” The older woman reaches up, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead with a gentle familiarity. Through her lens, he’s still young. “Doesn’t seem like you’ve got a fever, though.”

"That’s ‘cause I’m not sick." Joel takes her hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "How’s everythin’ goin’ so far? Got all these people together just t’celebrate ya’."

"It’s a wonderful night, sweetheart. So happy y’found the time t’be here," she replies, pinching his cheek in that affectionate way that earns her a quiet laugh from him. Her eyes then catch sight of a familiar figure. "Oh, look who's here. If it isn’t my beautiful granddaughter."

He stops smiling. In fact, he thinks he even stops breathing for a second as you intrude yourself into the scene, settling yourself beside your grandmother, flashing him a knowing grin. “I was getting kind of bored with the little ones.” 

“Y’know Joel, right, dear?”

“Yes.” A pause, a beat you draw out between breaths. “Yes, I do.”

Betty leans his way, her warm hand still on him. “Have y’heard the latest news? This young lady just graduated.”

“Stephen told me,” he answers, looking up at you with a reserved nod. “Congrats, kid.”

“Thank you, Mr. Miller.”

There’s that damn name again. Were he alone with you, he’d laugh in your face, but he can’t. Under the scrutiny of family and friends, he knows he’s cornered. Joel’s starting to believe you think you’re untouchable, that there are no consequences to your actions. You might look the same, maybe a little older, but that teasing, provocative spark in your eye hasn’t changed a bit.

“Always so polite, my child,” Betty says, cupping your cheek with a light pinch, a grandmotherly gesture perfected over the years which she seems to repeat often. “Any boyfriends back in New York?”

This would, without a doubt, be the perfect moment for him to excuse himself and stand up—a conversation he’d rather not be privy to. But with you positioned right in front of him, escape isn’t an option. “Still single, grandma,” you respond unfazed, as if you know exactly what you’re doing. “No one to worry about. Better like this, anyway.”

“But what’s the problem? There aren’t any boys y’like?”

He doesn’t even know what makes him say it—some impulse, some hidden tension surfacing—but he jumps in, his voice carrying a slight, sardonic edge. “Boys are more foolish than ever these days, Betty. Surely y’wouldn’t want her to settle for the first idiot who crosses her path.”

Betty clutches his arm, shaking her head in feigned shock. “Oh, not at all! It’s all about waitin’ for the right person. There’s no rush, for either of you. You’re still on your own, Joely?”

Time to drink again. He drains the last drops of alcohol remaining in his glass, feeling your eyes on him, intense and searing, and then he clears his throat, swallowing down the words he’d rather say. “Affirmative.”

“Well,” she sighs contentedly, patting each of your hands as though binding you both with some invisible thread. “Just means y’two have to wait a bit longer, right? Time has its way.” She chuckles, eyes soft with memory, turning to you. “Darlin’, this man here was quite the heartbreaker in his day. He and your dad would find all kinds of trouble with the ladies!”

“How so?” You cross your arms, playfully tilting your chin up. “Joel Miller, the charmer of the town?”

“Guess I’ve been known t’make a fool of myself,” he shoots back, silently cursing the moment he missed his chance to slip away. “Stephen got more fans than I did, though.”

“I did what?” Joel feels an elbow nudging his back, and there’s his friend, grinning in his usual easy way.

Joel's luck in life had been more bruised than blessed, a string of hardships that seemed amplified compared to what most people experienced. Being drawn in by you—in which category did that fall? Good luck or bad? He couldn't decide. Every glance and delicate smile you aimed his way stirred something reckless within him. Was it pure thrill, or a warning?

He laughs every time Stephen cracks a joke, but he’s barely listening, his mind half-tethered to the present. It’s like he’s watching himself from afar, observing his reactions as if he were an outsider. He isn’t stoned or drunk, just acutely mindful of your presence. He catches himself peeking up at you from where he sits, jaw tight, his brow creased. You meet his gaze with a slight squint, a polite look that hides something far more dangerous.

Boys are more foolish than ever these days. He’s sure of that much. They’re young, untested. But what about him? He’s no model of virtue, either. He’s made his share of mistakes, left good women behind—women who were willing to love him in spite of his flaws. They’d seen through the layers he wore like armor, and yet, in the end, he couldn’t hold on to any of them. He carried the ghosts of every past life, fragments of who he’d been and what he’d left behind, and he knew those shadows weren’t for everyone.

A thought pierces through him, sharp and sobering: what would Sarah think? His lovely daughter, grown and settled into her own life, would likely be mortified to know her father’s infatuation with a twenty-something. The weight of that realization sinks into his chest, and that seems to be his last straw.

He can’t possibly take it anymore. Rising from his chair, he mutters something to Stephen about needing fresh air and makes his way to the backyard door, exhaling deeply and gripping his car keys. The cool night air hits him, stepping outside, a temporary relief as he heads toward his truck.

Just as he’s about to open the door, he hears your voice. You call his name, your tone soft but distinct. He doesn’t turn, only lets out a long, weary sigh. “What?”

“Where are you going?” You stop a few steps behind him, watching the way his shoulders visibly tense. “Are you mad at me?”

“What?” He faces you, almost snapping his neck in his rush to look at you. “Why would I be—I’m not mad at ya’.”

“Then what’s wrong? Why are you leaving so early?” 

He scrubs a hand over his nape, fingers pressing into the tension gathered there. “Would y’like me t’break it down for ya’, how messed up this is?” His gaze drops to the ground, unable to meet yours. “I’m riskin’ the only real friendship I’ve had here for… for somethin’ that I can’t even wrap my head ‘round. This isn’t okay, no matter which way I look at it.”

In that moment, it’s as if reality pulls you under. The mask of subtle, practiced arrogance falls apart, scattering in fragments around you. He watches, waiting for you to gather them up, to hide behind that composed veneer again. But you don’t move. You leave the pieces where they lie. Instead, you confront his gaze, unguarded, and ask, “Do you regret what happened between us?”

Another question. You seem to be full of them. They just keep coming, one after the other, as if you already had them prepared. I don’t, he thinks to himself, but would it do you any good if you knew it? “Don’ start with those mental games.”

“Then come back inside.”

“I know myself well enough to know what’s gonna happen if I do that, darlin’.”

Neither of you breaks the silence that’s settled between you, thick as the night air. You slip your hands into the pockets of your jacket, shoulders slightly hunched, head hanging. Once again, like all those times before, he’s struck by how young you are compared to him. The difference stretches between you like a chasm, bridged only by these stolen moments. The weight of his years presses down on him, the choices he’s made—the mistakes and the half-hearted attempts to mend them. He’s got decades on you, three of them to be precise.

Joel never thought of himself as an ever-lasting free spirit, the kind of man who clings to youth or pretends to be something he’s not. Right now, with you here, he feels reckless, like a boy again. Stupid, impulsive, like the foolish young men he used to shake his head at—the very ones he’d warned your grandmother about.

“You left without even saying goodbye last time,” you mumble, low but clear, as you scuff the toe of your shoe against the grass. “And now you’re doing it again.”

He inhales sharply, clenching his keys, feeling the edges of the brass biting into his palm. For a moment, he thinks the sharpness will give him something to hold onto, but he knows the sting is nothing more than a weak anchor. “You’re a smart girl. Don’ need me to spell this out.”

“I know exactly what you mean, trust me. I get it.”

“Then why do you keep pushing?” His pent-up exasperation slips through despite himself, and he can see the hurt flicker across your face, the way your forehead barely puckers as his words hit harder than intended.

Even as you look away, a trace of that hurt fading, you stand firm. You shake your head after a beat, seemingly trying to brush off your doubts and confusion. Joel can’t decipher if you’re feigning innocence—if you are, he thinks, you could be one hell of an actress. “I don’t know. I guess I want to see how far this can go.”

You take a small step forward, testing the waters. Your feet move cautiously, not aiming to scare him off. Each step draws you nearer until there’s only a whisper of space between you, close enough for him to catch your scent, and he has to force himself to peer down to meet your eyes. They hold a quiet intensity: pleading, wide and earnest, already trained on him. Gleaming like two lone stars cutting through a moonless, empty sky. 

It baffles him, the question forming unbidden in his mind. He goes even further, can’t help but wonder: why him? What is it that you see in him? What makes you keep coming back for more? You’ve already had a taste, a story you could tuck away, a secret to be shared with your friends someday around a campfire. So why, he would like to know, are you still here, seeking something from a man like him?

“I like you,” you blurt out, fingers drifting to skim over the worn fabric of his flannel, almost hesitantly. That tentative gesture sparks something raw in him, a low rumble of desire that feels like it’s been lying dormant for too long. Heat pulses through him, hot blood racing through his veins, awakening every nerve, each beat of his heart more insistent than the last one. “I think you like me, too.”

“You’re insufferable,” he bites out through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching so hard it nearly hurts. He closes his eyes, half hoping you’ll disappear, that he’ll find some reason, any reason, to call this off. Though when he opens them, you’re still there, waiting, unshaken. “I wish I knew how to stop this. How to walk away.”

“That’s not what you want.”

“We don’ always get what we want, kid. You’ll figure that out soon enough.” He means it as a warning, but even he hears the way his voice falters, his defenses crumbling in the face of your unflinching state.

You let out a slow sigh, your arms falling to your sides, eyes roaming over his features as if you’re memorizing every line. Your focus dips to his mouth. “Maybe,” you murmur, and he feels the warmth of your breath against his skin. “But some things are worth fighting for. And sometimes, those who don’t give up… get the best in the end.”

With a gentleness that stuns him, you lean in, bringing your lips to his in a featherlight kiss. You pull away, and he helplessly notices the way your lips part, how your breath hitches, and for a split second, the guilt becomes palpable, the significance of wanting a woman he knows he shouldn’t. You stand there, chest rising and falling, skin tingling, a faint trail of goosebumps visible where your neckline meets your chest. 

Apart from the glint in your eyes, he catches the persistent, quiet ache of want. He isn’t sure if it’s just physical attraction, if it runs deeper, or if that’s all it is for him, either. He doesn’t need to know. The simplicity of it all is a short-lived relief. It’s an easy escape, though, this bare minimum of understanding—you want him, he wants you. Let it be enough for one more moment, for tonight, just another memory he’ll have to lock away. Yet he’s aware, deep down, of his own pattern: promises broken just as easily as they’re made. He’s only fooling himself. The part of him that knows this isn’t something he’ll let go of so easily sits there, silently taunting him, daring him to make another compromise he won’t keep.

From where you remain frozen, he’s certain you can practically see the gears turning in his head as he weighs every possible outcome. “It’s gonna happen, isn’t it?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and before you can react, his arm slides around your waist, pulling you flush against him, and turning you toward the car door. The cool metal pressing against your back startles a gasp out of you, but the suddenness only heightens everything—the heat of his body, the toughness of his hold. 

He doesn’t waste time with words, having always been a man of action. His hand cradles your face, inspecting your features to later crush his mouth against yours. Your tongue finds his without hesitation, seeking him out, hungry and unrestrained. He savors your eagerness, the way your hands roam over him, clutching at his shirt, tugging him closer by the belt until your lower halves are pressed tightly. The taste of beer and mint clings to your lips, and a husky groan rumbles from him as your fingers find their place in the longer strands at the nape of his neck, twisting and pulling him impossibly closer. 

He could lose himself in this, the simple, electric thrill of kissing you, how you fit so perfectly against him. Hours could slip by, and he wouldn’t mind, but then reality pulls him back; it’s too exposed here, right outside his truck where anyone could stumble upon you. “Get in the car,” he rasps, pulling back just enough to catch his breath, fumbling to unlock the door. It takes him three tries, and he chuckles, feeling the warmth of your laughter beside him as you tease him.

Once inside, his mouth finds yours again, this time more urgently, his hand pressing against your back, tracing the line of your spine through the clothes. “Tell me y’want this,” he breathes, his kisses trailing down your throat, latching onto the tender skin there. “C’mon, baby. Tell me y’want it. Tell me y’want me.”

A soft, breathy sound escapes you as his mouth fixates on that sensitive spot just below your ear. You tilt your hips instinctively, craving contact in search of relief, and he shifts you onto his lap, guiding your thighs to settle over his. Desperately working to undo the buttons of his shirt, yearning to uncover him, you pant against his cheek. “J-Jesus Christ, I need you. Please, touch me. Anything will do. Just—”

He’s silently grateful for your choice of a dress tonight. It makes things easier for him, and he gets right to it, bunching the fabric around your waist, hands roaming over the soft skin of your hips before moving his fingers lower, tracing teasing lines over your clothed center. He can’t fully make out the murmured words you breathe into his ear, but your voice drives him like a lighthouse guides a sinking ship, and he adjusts his movements, pressing with more intention. The only sounds filling the car are his ragged breaths and your gasping moans, and he holds you close to his chest, cooing softly as you start to rock into his hand, asking for more. 

His fingers find their rhythm, circling your clit in deliberate flicks. Joel watches as you unravel, trembling in his arms, a hint of drool spreading over his shoulder from your parted lips on his skin. His grip tightens as he tugs your underwear down your legs, grinning when you kick them impatiently to the floor of the car. Now, as he strokes his digits up and down your folds, you turn to putty on his lap. In another world, he’d have you laid out in his bed, enjoying each inch of your body. But here, in the cramped, dim backseat, he keeps the lights off. He knows it’s reckless, yet that barely slows him down. His cock throbs at the very risk of getting caught, at the edge he’s walking just to have you like this.

“Goddamn, you’re soaked, aren’t ya’?” He doesn’t expect you to answer, at least not in any coherent way. He sinks his middle finger into your bare heat, searching your face in the dark, contemplating the fluttering of your lashes. His hand weaves into your hair, a firm tug guiding your gaze to his. Your head tips back, a moan spilling from your lips at the new sensation, rolling your hips into his palm with earnestness. “It’s gonna be a tight fit, huh? If this is how you’re grippin’ my fingers, I can’t imagine what that cunt’s gonna feel like wrapped ‘round me.”

Studies suggest that in those final, fleeting moments of life, memories flood the human mind—a last journey through a person’s years before crossing over. If he were to die after tonight, he knows your face would be there, etched into his last breath. He can almost picture it: struggling for air, teetering on the edge, with that reddish, towering figure of mortality looming over him. But even then, he’d find solace in the thought of you, thrown into oblivion. You’d grant him a last-minute reprieve, easing the ache. You’d be the one who’d hold back the shadows. This constitutes the apex of his life, and he knows he should be worried, yet intellectual dominance doesn’t stand much of a chance when confronting the heart of a man. Not when that heart, so long starved of its pulse, has finally found someone worth remembering.

He makes space for himself, thrusting his long fingers into you until he’s got your slick coating his palm. One hand settles firmly at the small of your back, guiding your movements, while he feels his collected composure faltering. You mouth at the rough stubble along his jawline when you start to get close, breathless whimpers clouding his thoughts. “Joel,” you call out to him, as if that alone would make wonders. “Oh, fuck. Please, I waited a whole year. I need to come.”

A whole year. You were his once a year, and he was yours, a bittersweet ritual bound by time. He never would’ve thought this party could bring him such pleasure, though he can’t pretend he’s against it. Last time, he hadn’t taken the chance to pull you under and make you fall apart as many times as he’d wanted. He’s intent on making up for that missed opportunity, determined to make you enjoy every moment.

He withdraws his fingers abruptly, and a sharp laugh nearly escapes him at your reaction. You reach instinctively, grabbing for his hand, trying to guide him back to where he belongs between your legs. But he’s already moving, maneuvering you down until you’re lying on your back, fully under his command. He lowers himself, replacing his fingers with the warm insistence of his mouth. The sound that escapes your lips as his mouth presses against your center is nothing short of a scream—a wild cry that fills the space around you. He’s grateful he parked far from the other guests, because that sound would turn more than a few heads. 

Joel laps at your arousal as if it's the fountain of youth, the very essence of everything pure and precious in the world. He presses down on your thighs until they rest on either side of him, unclamping your legs from around his head. The suppleness of your skin feels divine under his fingertips, and he brushes his thumbs over your trembling form, coaxing you into calmness, to let him have his way with you at his own pace. It's an absurd paradox—aiming to soothe you while his mouth continues its fervent worship, tracing intricate patterns against your most sensitive flesh. His beard, streaked with gray and freshly trimmed, glistens with your slick, and Joel smolders with all-consuming passion.

When his friends had told him to go out more, maybe find someone to date, he's certain they didn't mean this. The smart choice (scratch that: the correct one) would have been to pursue a woman his own age. But fuck it—he's spent a lifetime doing what's right. Every road he might've taken would've led him here, to this moment, with you. Part of him believes he must still have something left, some spark of appeal. To have a pretty little thing like you, so eager, so willing, offering yourself to him? He has to have something. His knees ache from where he kneels on the unforgiving surface, but the burn is inconsequential, and he’ll endure anything to be what you need.

Joel trails his hand up your body, over the curve of your breast, before gently groping it, his palm covering yours in a shared grip. He runs the tip of his tongue along your folds, his saliva mingling with your wetness, aquiline nose grazing your sensitive bud. “You’re tellin’ me you’re this tight ‘cause you’ve been savin’ yourself for me? You do know what t’say t’make a man happy.” He spreads you open slowly, his gaze lingering on the way your cunt glistens, a sense of satisfaction rippling through him. You remain silent, your breath shallow. “Still with me, sugar?”

“It’s just that—I’m so close.” You bite back a moan, nails digging into the soft leather of the seat. Joel hums in response, his lips closing around your clit. Agitation flickers across your face as you try to grind your hips against his mouth. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—”

The pressure is gone as he notices your thighs quivering again, his movements halting immediately.

“No, Joel. Please—”

“You’ll come when I tell ya’.”

He’s having the time of his life. Damn right he is.

He suddenly realizes he's still dressed from head to toes, the heat building in his body becoming too much to ignore. With a frustrated grunt, he undoes his belt, yanking the metal zipper down, longing to rid himself of the constricting denim. A strangled noise escapes him as you suck on his neck, fisting his base, giving him a few purposeful tugs.

“Now, you’re gonna ride me,” he murmurs, making a pause to shrug his shirt off, letting it fall to the floor of the car, “and you’re gonna like it. Don’ want you t’hold back this time, understood?”

His back ends up against one of the fogged-up windows. The air is thick with the apparent scent of sex—a phrase he’d only ever heard in movies, but now, it’s undeniably real. Joel holds his cock, aligning the tip with your entrance as his lips crash against yours in a hungry kiss. A deep groan escapes him, vibrating over your mouth, nipping at your lower lip. The sensation intensifies when your wet interior welcomes him, velvet walls molding to his size. Your brows scrunch together at the stretch, a choked whimper catching in your throat. As your hips sink fully, your ass flush against his thighs, your body clenches around him, that abrupt tightness drawing a stuttering gasp from him.

“For God’s sake,” he exhales, the words rough as his forehead bumps into yours. His hand splays over your ribcage, fingers curling slightly. “Sweetheart, you’re—killin’ me here.”

“I can feel you everywhere,” you huff, your arms looping around his neck to pull him closer, holding your breath. He takes the moment to capture your nipple between his swollen lips, leaving a shiny trail of spit in his wake. You lift yourself, the motion teasing, before sinking back down onto his lap, taking him in fully. “Can feel you in my stomach.”

When you begin to move, Joel loses track of everything else. Time seems to stretch, bending and reshaping itself each time his tip finds some hidden place inside you. He’s fifty-six years old, yet in this moment, his soul feels infinite. Invincible. He brings his hand to your lips, thumb grazing over them before slipping inside. Your warm tongue envelopes it, and when you start to suck dutifully, muffling your moans, his body jerks in response. His eyes drift to your glistening chest, where a sheen of sweat makes your skin glow in the dim light. You’re the most captivating woman he’s ever seen, and he knows he’ll never look at anyone the same again. He can’t tear his gaze away, mesmerized by the way your body merges with his, the way you undulate your hips on top of him.

You move back and forth, and he drives into you, filling you to the brim with every calculated thrust. He thrusts upward, stealing the air from your lungs, the sharp motion making you sputter as your body struggles to keep up with his.

“That’s it.” His voice is a husky growl as he wraps his arms tightly around your back, your chests sticking together with sweat. His pace quickens, the rhythm becoming more insistent. “Takin’ it like a good girl. You feel exquisite, baby. Makin’ me lose my fuckin’ mind.”

“So big inside me,” you pant, your own pace faltering as you surrender to Joel’s unforgiving tempo. His hooded eyes flicker to yours, catching the way your pupils have swallowed up your irises, dark and blown wide with desire. A shiver runs through him as your fingers dig into his shoulders, your grip leaving faint crescents in his skin. “Missed your cock so much, Mr. Miller.”

Fuck, not that shit. If it’s possible, he grows impossibly harder. He pounds into you with renewed intensity this time, his singular goal to leave you speechless, boneless, completely undone. He wants you limp and shuddering, with nothing left to give. “Enough of that.” His hands find their place on the soft globes of your ass, molding and squeezing until the pressure has you mewling, the sweet sound shooting straight through him. His lips ghost over the shell of your ear. “Responsive everywhere, honey. Have any idea how much fun I’m gonna have with ya’?”

Who would’ve believed him back then? It proves this isn’t some once-in-a-lifetime fluke. It happened before, and now it’s happening again. He might as well surrender to it—accept his fate and move through the motions like a man resigned to what’s already written.

There’s a moment when your moans sharpen, turning high-pitched and dazed, and the way you constrict him sends his eyes rolling to the back of his skull, a guttural noise tearing from his chest. His movements still, clutching your waist to pin you in place, denying you the chance to move, to bounce on him.

Then you break. A sob wracks your body, tears spilling over and tracing hot paths down your cheeks. They gather, fusing together as they slide along your throat and pool in the hollow of your jaw before disappearing lower. “Asshole,” you hiss, the word fragile as you push your face into the curve of his neck, seeking refuge in his embrace.

“Sorry? Couldn’t catch that.” He makes sure to keep you securely tucked under his chin, tilting his lower half upward. “If you want me t’stop, just say the world and I will.”

He’s messing with you, plain and simple. He doesn’t actually expect you to take his words at face value. But you do, grinding down harder, impaling yourself further on the length of his cock, and your arousal trickles down, slicking the coarse hair of his thighs.  “Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me.” Slotting your mouth over his, you attempt to move, chasing any sort of friction against your clit. Sadly, pleasure doesn’t come on its own—it’s Joel who can make you feel good, and he’s not obliging. His hand seizes your hair in a rough grasp, tugging sharply. Eyes fluttering shut, you hunch forward, submitting to the sharp edge of his control.

“What an impatient little thing y’are.” Joel grabs your thighs and turns you over, your back pressed against the leather seat. The brusque shift pulls him out of you, the cool air a cruel tease before he taps his head against your swollen folds, then fills you again in one powerful thrust, kissing your cervix in the process. A deep moan rips from your lungs, deep and guttural, as your legs tremble uncontrollably on either side of him. Your ankles dig into his back, fervent to keep him close. His balls rest heavy against your skin, full and aching for release. “Gonna give ya’ what y’want, okay? You’ve been on your best behavior,” he mumbles with his lips stuck to your forehead. “That’s a good girl. Think she deserves to come after all.”

Only then does he find his rhythm again, ramming into your drooling hole. For the third time tonight, he’s captivated by how you teeter on the edge of overwhelming pleasure. He has you eating out of his hand, taking all that he offers, and you do so willingly. He knows he could ask you for anything, and in exchange for an orgasm coaxed by him, you'd comply without thinking twice. In many ways, he’s not so different. He gathers some of your saliva, using it to moisten his fingers before slipping them between your bodies, rubbing your clit as he continues to hit your bundle of nerves. Where his stamina comes from, he has no clue, though he’s determined to keep pushing.

Your face becomes a living poem, each cry of yours adding to its verse. Your head nearly reaches the door, but he cradles it with his arm, ensuring you don’t hurt yourself. “Close,” you whine, struggling to keep your eyes from falling shut. “Joel, please. Let me—”

“Give it to me, darlin’.” Another thrust, another moan. “Drench me, c’mon. That’s what y’want, isn’t it? To come all over this cock?”

The way he’s worked you up has its rewards, leading to a release that feels like an eruption. You bite down on his shoulder, your cries growing louder, chanting his name without pause. It loses all meaning after being chanted so many times, but the way you say it still has an undeniable weight. He doesn’t mind it one bit, not when he’s finishing right after you plead him to fill you. His jaw hangs open as ropes of his seed spill inside you, and he sags against your frame, giving short thrusts to push his cum deeper into your warmth, your pussy milking him dry.

“Oh, God…” he groans, fumbling with one of your breasts, holding onto something for dear life. “Jesus Christ.” 

“Don’t pull out yet,” you say, grinning when you feel him twitch. “Stay a little longer.”

Too personal. Too intimate—dangerous in his books. Normally, he'd tuck himself back into his briefs, drive the woman he’s slept with home, and that would be the end of it. No happy endings in his story. So he’s surprised when he supports his weight on his forearms, claiming your lips in a voracious encounter of tongues and teeth. He caresses your cheek, tilting your face to deepen the kiss, and you sigh contentedly.

The two of you lapse into a heavy silence after that. He clears his throat, and says: “I should’ve asked you for your number that one time.” In the heat of the act, he’s being too honest. Regret will come knocking on his door once his excitement fades. His eyes bore into yours, dubious. “M’sorry for that.”

“Well, you could ask me for it now,” you admit from beneath him, and Joel pulls away for a moment, trying to gauge if you’re serious. He doesn’t think you’re joking. “To make up for lost time.”

This must be the onset of something else. He can't quite put it into words, but he feels it in his chest, in every place where your skin merges with his. He's no fortune teller, and there's no way for him to know where this path will take him, whether it leads to ruin or salvation. Though in this moment, he doesn't care—not now, at least.

At last, Joel blindly reaches for the pocket of his jeans with one arm. “How long are you stayin’ in Austin?”

dividers by: @cafekitsune thank you!!! <3

[sstan-hoe]

My favorite animal is boyfriendJoel at Costco.

He shows up with a list. He knows exactly what we’re gonna get and where it is in the store. He’s pushing the cart too, you don’t have to lift a finger.

Of course he goes and gets every sample (one for you too of course).

It’s kind of sexy watching him pick the meat he’s gonna smoke and bbq for the two of you.

He doesn’t get mad when you get distracted and wander off, only to bring back things you’ve been meaning to get for yourself and he’ll pay for it no questions asked.

[sstan-hoe]

sweetest flame - Aemond Targaryen x Reader

summary: Alicent invites to a gathering in the Red Keep. Aemond usually hates these kinds of distractions, but today is different. He knows you will be there. Now he just needs enough courage to talk to you.

words: 2.815

warnings: none

AO3 // English is not my first language// not proofread// hope you have fun with this little Aemond fic. 🧡

request are open // main masterlist// hotd masterlist

Aemond sits in his chambers, tapping his foot on the floor. He is waiting for his mother. Every passing minute increases his nervousness. His palms are slightly sweaty, and he wipes them on his pants. Pull yourself together! His chamber doors opens and Alicent enters the chambers of her younger son.

Her expression is a bit tense, and Aemond realizes that she is mentally prepared for a discussion. She believes that he will only attend today's feast under protest. Aemond sometimes thinks that his mother forgets that he is not like Aegon. Aemond knows his duties. Alicents gaze passes over him.

Aemond becomes uncertain for a moment. He didn't put on the clothes that Alicent had chosen for him, yet he is dressed in one of his better attires. Maybe even a bit too fancy for this occasion. Maybe he should have worn what his mother had picked out after all?

"Are you ready?" she asks after a moment, smiling warmly.

This evening, a small celebration is taking place. Viserys had summoned a few of the Lords from the Reach and the Stormlands to King's Landing to discuss a new tax system. These Lords, and especially their wives, need to be taken care of. Alicent despises this kind of distraction. She could use her time more wisely. Nevertheless, it is her duty as Queen to entertain the guests. And as prince and princess, it is her children's duty to support her in this.

"Yes, Mother." Aemond rises from his chair and goes to his mother. Together, the two walk through the halls of the Red Keep to the nursery. At his hip his sword clinks with every step. He holds himself upright and proud. Ser Christon had allowed him to wear real steel on his belt only a few days ago.

The door to the nursery opens. Helaena and the governesses take care of the twins.

Aemond goes to his sister and picks up Jaehaera. His niece babbles happily and reaches for his hand. Aemond can't help but smile.

"Where is Aegon?" Alicent asks after a brief glance.

"I don't know. Not here," replies Helaena shrugging her shoulders.

"It was clear he would slip away," says Aemond. Aegon has the talent to disappear whenever he is faced with an obligation he doesn't like. None of his siblings expected him to attend this celebration today. Where Aegon is today is not important to Aemond.

"Come on now," urges Alicent, clapping in her hands. "The guests are waiting."

Aemond kisses Jaehaera's forehead before he says goodbye and hands her back to her nursemaid.

The little family makes their way to the festival hall.

"I expect the best behavior from you. The Lords are already irritable because of the increased taxes." Aemond doesn't care about that. For today, there is only one thing that matters. He feels his palms getting sweaty again. Aemond takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself down. Now is not the right time. The assembled Lords and Ladies bow before the royal family before the music resumes and the celebration continues.

"Behave yourselves. And remember. We are a family. One unit." Alicent reminds once more.

Aemond nods seriously. He knows that it is important to appear as a family at court. No matter what disputes are happening inside their house. The Targaryen dynasty must appear united to the outside world. But he doesn't have the head for all these problems right now.

Aemond lets his gaze sweep over the people. But he does not see what he wants to see.

"In the back rightside." Helaena suddenly whispers next to him.

Aemond's head snaps to her. His older sister smiles knowing, then links arms with their mothers and follwos her to the guests.

Aemond turns his head. For a second, he fears Helaena has made fun of him. But then he sees you.

You stand between your sisters and listen to the conversation. Dressed in an elegant gown in the colors of your house. Your hair falls freely over your shoulders, with only a bit of jewelry keeping some strands out of your face. You laugh at something your sisters said, and Aemond's heart skips a beat at the sight. How would it react if you would smile at him?

You arrived at the Red Keep five days ago. Your father followed the King's summons to King's Landing and, of course, brought all his unmarried daughters with him. Just like all the other lords. The Red Keep is filled with beautiful young Ladies. Normally that annoys Aemond. He was busy with training when you and your family arrived. When you got out of the carriage and he saw you for the first time, he almost tripped over his own feet. Criston's next sword strike hit him directly. His shoulder still hurts a little, the bruise is still there.

He has never seen anyone so beautiful. Aemond couldn't take his eyes off you. You on the other hand didn't even notice him.

Since that moment, Aemond can't get you out of his head. He constantly thinks about you. He is constantly looking for you. If he catches a glimpse of you, his day gets instantly better.

He just hasn't gathered enough courage to talk to you yet. Aegon has already made fun of Aemond. But he doesn't care. His brother doesn't know what he's talking about anyway.

Aemond notices how his hands are getting sweaty again. Nights long he has pondered about what to say to you. How he should speak to you. But now that an opportunity has come, his mind is blank. He looks around and waves over a servant who hands him a glass of wine. He can drink to gain a little courage, but the rest he has to find within himself.

It wasn't hard to find out your name. But he couldn't find out anything about your interests through Keep Gossip. You like to stay with your sisters.

One of the young Lords approaches you and your sisters. A feeling of unease spreads through Aemond as you speak with him. A smile from you and the young lord begins to turn red. Aemond would most like to stab him with his sword.

Gods, what's wrong with him? He hasn't spoken a word to you yet, and still, he feels a hot rage at the sight of you talking to another lord. Aemond watches as you shake your head and the Lord leaves. He cheers inwardly. But then a cold fear runs down his spine. What if you also reject him? It would be humiliating. But he worries much more about his heart than about his wounded pride.

Aemond tries to push the thought of your rejection away and rather tries think about what he will say to you.

In that moment, Aemond wishes he were more like Aegon. Aegon finds it easy to approach people, to talk to them. To win people over, to strike up a conversation. Aegon makes it look effortless. Aemond can't do that. He never knows what to say. He hardly engages in conversation with young ladies. He always overthinks what he says.

Aemond can train, strengthen his body, master his weapons, learn languages, history. All of that Aemond can achieve through discipline. But he can't force anyone to like him. You would certainly find him boring. What interesting things does he have to say? Or probably not attractive either. Why would such a beautiful Lady like you find him attractive? After all, he is mutilated. He is missing an eye. Whether you will find him repulsive.

Aemond lightly shakes his head to dispel these thoughts. He has already played it all through in his head a thousand times. Thought about thousands of different reactions. Now it's time to find out the reality.

He has sworn to himself that he will speak to you today. Aemond drowns his wine.

Restlessness and uncertainty spread in his gut as he takes the first step towards you. He stops again. Maybe it wasn't a good idea after all. He should turn around and disappear into his chambers. The trouble he will get with his mother is preferable to being rejected by you.

He could also take Vhagar for a flight. His old lady would surely laugh at him if she could see him like this. Aemond discreetly wipes his sweaty hands on his pants. He takes a deep breath. You can do this! If he can claim Vhagar for himself, the largest dragon of their time, then he can also approach a maiden! Even if this maiden is as beautiful as you are. Enough now. Aemond can do it. He remembers the feeling of being with Vhagar and finally manages to bring himself to go to you.

As he approaches you and your sisters, your conversation falls silent, and you look at him, quiet and curious. Under no circumstances can he speak to you in front of all your sisters. That's way too embarrassing.

A dance. He has to ask you to dance with him. Then you can talk in peace. Or just be silent. Depending on how much courage Aemond has left after he spooke to you.

He swallows hard before he says your name. Surprised, you look at him. Your beautiful eyes sparkle, and Aemond just stares at you for a moment before he realizes he needs to say more. He clears his throat and notices how his cheeks are slightly turning red.

"A dance, my lady?" he asks, extending his hand to you. He notices that they are sweaty again. Your gentle smile widens a little.

"Gladly." you say and reach for his hand. You have to notice how sweaty it is. You don't let anything show.

Aemond remembers his dance lessons and leads you onto the dance floor. He tries to ignore the giggling of your sisters behind you. He places his hand on your hip and begins to lead you through the dance. Up close, you are even more beautiful. Even your scent is stunning. Of course, your dance steps are elegant and precise. He didn't expect anything less from you. You are still smiling even though Aemond still doesn't know what to say now.

"You dance very well, my prince." you suddenly say in a soft voice. Then you lower your gaze. Aemond notices the hint of red on your cheeks. His heart begins to race."

Aemond. Call me Aemond, please," he says suddenly without thinking. His voice almost cracks. Embarrassing. But when you smile at him, his tension eases slightly.

"Aemond," you say, as if to try his name on your tongue. He has never heard anyone say his name so softly.

"You dance very well too." he returns the compliment. Now he doesn't know what to say again. "Do you like the Red Keep?" he asks therefore. He would rather talk about your interests, thoughts, passions, and hobbies. What you wish for in life, which places you would like to travel to, what makes you happy. But that would be too much for your first conversation, he knows that. He's not an idiot. Nevertheless, the need to know everything about you is growing within him.

"Yes, it's very nice here. I have never been away from home. That makes it all even more exciting," you reply. The song is over, the dance is finished. But neither of you makes any move to leave the dance floor again. Aemond's hand moves from your hip to your back, and he pulls you just a little bit closer to him. His fingerstips tingle slightly. You don't protest instead you follow the steps of the next dance. Aemond almost has to exhale in relief. He searches for your next conversation topic. He wants to take this opportunity to get to know you as much as possible.But you suprise him because you keep talking.

"You probably can't understand that. After all, you can go anywhere with your dragon whenever you want. Have you already visited many places?" you look at him with interest.

Aemond could jump up and down excitedly. You asked him a question, want to know something about him. Him of all people. He needs a moment to calm himself before he can answer.

"I am often in Old Town with my brother, and Vhagar and I have flown all the way to Essos before. Of course, I also travel a lot in the Crownlands."

"Where do you like it the most?"you ask.

"The honest answer is a bit boring." he is sure that you think he liked it best in a distant, foreign place.

"I don't think anything about you can be boring. Please give me an honest answer."

Aemond hesitates for another second, he feels the heat in his face again, yet he answers honestly. "I prefer to be here in King's Landing." With my family. I like it the most when I´m with my family." he should have come up with something cooler, more interesting. Your reaction surprises him. You grip his hand a little tighter and smile at him openly.

"I also prefer to be with my family," you reply then. "Even if they sometimes get on my nerves. I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers. It can get quite exhausting at times. But never boring. Oh gods, I'm rambling. That probably doesn't interest you at all. I'm sorry." your voice gets a little faster and you bite your lip.

"No, please. Don't apologize. It interests me."

"Really?" you ask hesitantly.

"Yes. I can understand it. My siblings annoy me sometimes too. Especially Aegon."

"Big brothers are the burden of our existence," you say and then laugh at your own joke. Your laughter sounds like the melody of a choir. Aemond has never heard a more pleasant sound. "I'll definitely have to listen to a lot of shit later because I danced with you. They are all so terribly curious."

For a moment Ameond is worried that you regret accepting his offer for a dance. "I didn't mean to cause you any trouble."

"Oh no. I didn't mean that I will get in trouble at all. It's just." you interrupt yourself and look down. "It's embarrassing."

Now Aemond definitely wants to hear it.

"It doesn't have to be embarrassing for you. I will not judge you."

You take a deep breath before looking at him again. "It's just. Well, you are a prince and you caught my eye, and I might have gushed about you a little bit in front of my sisters," you admit, but you can't hold his gaze. Your cheeks and neck turn dark red as you look away, embarrassed.

Aemond can't believe his own ears. He would most like to cheer while butterflies dance in his stomach. You have talked about him. Him of all people. Especially since you are as beautiful as the morning sun. He can hardly believe his luck."I noticed you too," he admits now to ease your embarrassment a bit.

Surprised, you look at him. Your lips form a surprised "o." Aemond has the urge to lean forward and touch your lips with his. But he can't do that. It would be inappropriate and improper. Quickly, he dispels the thought of your lips on his.

"Really?" you ask a little uncertainly.

"Really." he assures you. As a matter of facts he had been thinking about you constantly over the past few days. "That's why I asked for a dance. I've been thinking for days about how to approach you."

You laugh gently again. "And I was thinking about where I could best cross your path. I even got lost in the Red Keep once because of it." Now he has to laugh too, and you join in.

Aemond wants nothing more than to dance with you all evening and hear you laugh. But you are interrupted by the voice of one of your sisters. She calls your name and gestures towards the door. You roll your eyes in annoyance.

"My big sister. Since we've been here, she's acting like she's in charge. She wants us to get back to our chambers. I guess I have to go."

Aemond cannot banish the disappointment from his face, but he also notices that you seem a bit downcast that your conversation has ended so abruptly.

"Have a good evening, Aemond," you say, then turn to leave.

"Wait." he says quickly. He can't just let you disappear again so easily now. "May I accompany you on a walk tomorrow? At Blackwater Bay, perhaps?"

You beam at him. "Yes, very gladly." then you go to your impatiently waiting sisters. Aemond takes a deep breath. That went better than he had dreamed. It wasn't so hard after all.

With pounding hearts and light steps, he sets out to search for his sister Helaena.

[sstan-hoe]

THE FUNERAL

Joel Miller x f!reader || 600 words

Summary: Joel fucks you at a funeral.

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, spanking (1), hair pulling(1), rough sex, unprotected piv, creampie, degradation but it’s sweet, mention of death, infidelity, dark undertones. Reader has hair, wears a dress.

A/n: I just saw these two pics on Pinterest side by side and my brain birthed this. not beta-ed, barely edited. Hope you’ll like it<3 dividers by @saradika-graphics

MASTERLIST

You drag Joel to the bedroom by his big hand and as soon as the door closes behind you two, you kiss him with passion and hunger, that you haven’t known until meeting him.

“Take me, Joel.”

“Now?”

“Yes. All those fake tears and awkward condolences make me wanna scream. I‘d rather scream because of you.”

You’re heaving, suffocating with lust that is rippling through your body in waves.

Joel’s crooked smile tells you that he’s in and soon your cheek is pressed to the bed and his clothed hard-on is rubbing against your ass.

“You look so hot in black.”

His compliment makes you smile but the next moment a whimper crawls up your throat when his warm hands slowly glide up the back of your naked thighs, lifting the hem of your dress and exposing you. Joel growls when he sees that you’ve been naked and dripping under your mourning dress. The clang of his belt and the clothes rustling send shivers down your spine and then you moan with anticipation as his hot cock heavily lands on your ass cheek.

“Fuck me hard. Let me feel what I’ve done. Punish me.”

Joel chuckles but the sound lacks cheer. Bitterness coats his words.

“You’ve done nothing wrong, baby—“

He almost chokes when his tip pushes between your wet folds.

“— only waited for your rich old husband to die.”

“Meanwhile fucking you,” you add with a smirk and then gasp as his fat head catches on your soft hole and he slowly starts pushing it in.

“Damn, you’re soaked.”

“Been thinking about this all day. Couldn’t wait for you to ruin me.”

Instead of a reply Joel slaps your ass cheek and you jerk at the hard stroke.

“Such a slut. Horny for your lover at your husband’s funeral.”

You moan loudly, not caring who could hear you, when his thick member is spreading your walls so nicely, and you tremble at the delicious stretch.

“Say it again,” you whine.

You hear a smirk in his voice when Joel repeats,

“Your husband’s funeral.”

The sound you emit almost makes him spill inside you— it’s full of ecstasy and joy.

“Bad girl.”

He bottoms out and you clench the sheets, before he drags his cock out almost to the tip. You squeeze around his bulbous head, pussy greedy and desperate.

“Yes—yes—yes,” you chant as he starts fucking into your cunt with energetic thrusts, sending you higher to your peak.

Suddenly Joel grabs a handful of your hair and pulls you up against his chest. You don’t feel pain, just lust and pleasure are licking at your body, as his hips are hitting your ass, sending his cock deeper into your core.

His hot breath tickles your ear when he gruffs through the sound of skin slapping against skin,

“I’ll keep punishing you like this forever, baby. You’ll be my little cock sleeve. My personal slut with a dirty secret. We’re connected forever now.”

“Forever,” you breathe out and turn your head to latch onto his mouth.

The kiss feels almost violent, all teeth and groans, and you break it abruptly to search for his blown eyes.

“Promise you’ll protect me. Promise no one will know what we’ve done.”

Joel presses his sweaty forehead to yours and slows down his thrusts to whisper,

”I promise.”

With his arms holding you tightly, his stiffness languidly massaging your soft spot, you come on his thick cock and your pulsating cunt makes him squirt his creamy load against your walls. It’s hard to breathe in his steel embrace while he’s filling you full, but tears of happiness are flowing down your face because finally, finally, you are free.

Thank you for reading! Leave a comment and reblog if you enjoyed the story<3

MASTERLIST

Tag list:@milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @iamasaddie @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @auteurdelabre @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess @flamingochick55 @theoraekenslover @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @staywildflowahchild @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @evolnoomym @keylimebeag @joelmillerisapunk @pascaltesfaye @fruityreads @itwasntimethatdidit40

[sstan-hoe]

Sergei pt.2

Part one | Kraven x Reader

Your bestie finds out about your big cat man boyfriend.

Ever since you met the man who came to kill you, your ability to care better for yourself had finally shown itself. In the form of Sergei sending you money and giftcards to expensive boutiques in your neighborhood.

His visits had been sparse with your home being in Spiderman's main area and he couldn't just drive up to your place and parade himself around without being spotted.

He still visited, taking a different car each time, checking any and all social media pages so he could steer clear of his location.

You loved his visits. Every time he’d show up with treats and toys for the cats. Usually he’d call you to ask what you wanted for lunch or dinner and let you know when he’d arrive. At first he would never stay the night, afraid of being found and putting you in danger but this morning you had woken up on your couch, tangled in Sergei’s limbs as the sunlight shone through the windows.

Right now you were sitting around your coffee table again. You had done a quick breakfast run to the bakery across the street and when you returned Sergei had already brewed a fresh pot of coffee. One of the first things he had bought you was a stupidly expensive coffeemaker and a large box of supplies to easily make your beloved expensive drinks at home whenever you wanted, as soon as he learned that was where most of your leftover money went towards.

He had also bought you this huge, squishy lion plush that went everywhere around the apartment with you and was currently back to living on the couch behind you, after spending the night on the table you currently sat at.

“For when I’m not around.” He had said when you video called him. He had left you the instructions to either send him a video or call him whenever you’d get a git from him so he could see your reaction even when he wasn’t with you.

The two of you happily enjoyed breakfast together and cleaned up before refilling all he cats’ food and water bowls. You worked well around each other and planned your day while you both did your things and had decided to just stay here and do nothing, hang out on the couch with some snacks and TV. It was good for Sergei to unwind and not think about life for once, and having you with him worked as a great distraction. Such a great distraction, that halfway into the second episode of your show he had half laid down against the armrest of the couch, one leg up against the backrest and one hanging off the seat, with you sprawled over him like a ragdoll, but still holding Kraven the lion. With one hand he was rubbing lazy circles on your back while the other rested on the stuffed lion’s head, fingers playing with its mane. You were lying if you’d say you knew what the last thing said on the show was, as you were way too distracted by how beautiful Sergei looked with the sunlight casting a glow around his curls and making his eyes look almost like a glowing orange.

He caught you staring a while ago but decided to ignore it until now when he peeked down at you, looking you straight in the eyes. He let out a breathy laugh and without a warning hoisted you up so he could properly sit you down on top of him, Kraven still held close to your chest. Sergei looked up at you, down to the stuffed lion and back to you again. You took the hint and leaned over, your chest an inch away from his face as you went to place the lion on the chair next to you. When you moved back you were pulled against him, a pair of strong arms around you and soft lips on yours. You hummed as one of his hands went to the small of your back and the other played with your hair. Yours had found his curls almost immediately, tugging at them and deepening your kiss.

A squeeze to your side made you jump and break the kiss, sitting up, your hips right on his. Taking one look at each other you both laughed. He apologized for accidentally tickling you a you leaned back on his legs that were hanging off the armrest of the small couch he barely fit on like this. He put his hands behind his head with a stupidly handsome smirk on his face, looking at you like he was trying to say ‘I know you’re enjoying the view.’ And yeah, you were enjoying it for sure. You placed your hands on his chest, shamelessly squeezing like he would do to you whenever he’d walk up to you from behind. He returns the gesture before grabbing your hips and grinding you down on him, letting out a satisfying growl.

You were staring down at him with a soft smile, the show on TV turned into low, barely there background noise. “what are you thinking about, my little rabbit?” He had quirked up one brow and returned your smile with a half one.

With a blush you look away, feeling almost embarrassed to admit. “I’m just happy.” Your hand moved to rest on his cheek. “Haven’t felt that in a long time, until you showed up.” Your voice was barely above a whisper but he heard you clear as day, placing a hand on your cheek and guiding you down towards him and pull you into a kiss.

The kiss was soft and sweet at first, slowly getting more intimate as his hands started grasping at any part of you that he could reach. You could feel the growl rumbling in his chest as he held you close to him. Your hands found his hair and gave it a good pull with both hands causing him to groan into the kiss, parting his lips for you to slip your tongue past them.

Things had gotten intimate with Sergei before, but this felt different. The way he held you close and the intensity of the kisses. It sounded stupid in your head but you wanted more. Your sighs and moans only spurred each other on more, one of his large hands on the small of your back, holding you against him as he kept grinding up into you making you think he was hoping to do more than make out today.

Your intimate moment was cut short when your front door was opened without any warning, your best friend standing in your living room out of the blue. You both shot up at the sudden intrusion, you staring at your friend, Sergei staring at you in shock and your friend looking between the two of you and dropping whatever she held in panic.

“What the hell?” She had backed up against your door, hand fumbling to find the doorknob and failing as she did not dare to look away, afraid the man in front of her would attack.

You had crawled off Sergei’s lap while he sat up as well, giving you a look asking what the plan was. You looked back at her, one hand had found her phone. “What are you doing?” On her phone was the app you had gotten for emergencies, broadcasting your location in case you needed saving. “Please don’t press that button,” the look on your face must have said enough as her thumb moved away from the screen, holding her hand up to show you.

By now Sergei had gotten off the couch and walked over to the dropped papers now all over your floor. He gathered them up to give them a quick look but stopped as he realized what he was holding. He picked them all up and rose again, standing only a foot away from your now terrified friend.

“Why do you have this?” He clutched the files in his hand, holding them up to her face as he snarled. He turned back to you now. “Why does your friend have detailed files on me?” He stepped over to you.. “Do you have these as well?” He drops the papers in your lap for you to look at. You rifle through them, taking in the images that are clearly security cam footage screen grabs. Timeframes included tell you these are from his visits. So he had been spotted, even with how careful he had been. You had talked about what to do if something like this ever happened, but you never really got to a proper answer. Your only options were either killing or leaving and you didn't want to do either, you loved this area and there was no way you’d let him kill your friends. With tears in your eyes you looked back to your friend, still standing frozen at your door. “Can you please talk?”

Your sudden change had Sergei shift his focus back you caring for you rather than eliminating the threat that was your friend who now knew who he was and had seen him with you. He leaned against the couch’s backrest and turned to listen to your friend’s explanation.

She sighed and looked down at her feet, starting her story.

What you had expected was true, Spidey had spotted Sergei in town on multiple occasions, but didn’t have any evidence of him actively hunting someone so he found there was no reason to engage for now but he did feel like he had to warn his close ones in case he was planning something. Clearly he didn’t know of the original reason he came here that first time, otherwise a fight would have happened already. Luckily he threw that plan out the window when his first target turned out to be, well, you.

“So, yeah.” She sighed, nervously looking between the two of you and praying her words were good enough to not end up beheaded and put on a wall like a hunting trophy.

When she was with Spidey he had given her the papers and they talked about the dangers of them spending time together as there were, according to him, always enemies watching.

“What were you doing with him then, anyways?” You interrupted her continuation with a suspicious look. A blush crept up her face as she stumbled over her words. “We.. we’re friends,” she shrugged nonchalantly. “Friends can hang out.”

You rolled your eyes at her, immediately reading through her lies. “yeah, of course you were hanging out just to talk about the dangers of hanging out.” You gestured grandly as you spoke. “He could have emailed us those files, but h went through the effort of having them printed so you had an excuse to see each other, i get it.” you shrugged back at her. “I don’t care that you guys are fucking but I wear if you tell him about any of this,” You wave your finger between you and Sergei, who had just been standing there, watching how you were going to handle this whole thing. “I will send him to go put your head on Spidey’s wall.” It was clear it wasn’t an empty threat, but she also knew that if you both agreed to keep your partners’ names out of your mouths like true friends would, there would’t be a single problem. So that’s what you did.

Her very chaotic visit ended with you all making an agreement and rehearsing her ‘I gave her the files, she said she’d be careful. Your app is still on her home screen.” speech before heading back home.

[sstan-hoe]

𝚄𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚢 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗. (4)

mom's fiancé! joel miller x f! reader

Summary: Your mom's new fiancé, Joel Miller, is the kind of man you could never shake out of your mind—rugged, rough, and embodiment of your long-buried fantasies. He's been your next-door neighbor for years, and the crush you harbored through your teenage years never really faded. Now, he's with your mom, and they're planning to get married. You should want her to be happy, but you can't ignore the tension growing between you and Joel. It's something that was never meant to happen. But as you uncover Joel's true motives for being with your mom, you realize maybe your feelings weren't one-sided after all. And maybe, despite everything, you’re the one he really wants.

Tags: stepcest kind of, age gap (reader is in her mid 20s and joel in his mid 40s), forbidden romance, emotional conflict, slow burn, sexual tension, complicated family dynamics, heartbreak, Joel being an emotionally complicated bastard, ANGST, cheating, infidelity, betrayal, talk about divorce, talk about not wanting a child, ANGSTTTT, (marjorie being a mean bitch but also a great plot device!), trauma!!! reader has daddy issues, but dont quote me on that.

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ⁩ authors note 𑁯 ✿ im baaack !! the second to last part is here!! how do we feel so far? IT'S GOING DOWN!! one more chapter, and we will find out if anyone will get a happy ending. who knows.. maybe we'll make a spinoff of this? anyway, this is 3.37k words, so the shortest of the bunch butbi didn't want to add unnecessary smut :') HOPE YOU LOVE IT! not proofread soo if you anything spelled wrong umm close your eyes.

“Glad you could make it,” Marjorie said, closing the door behind you. “I thought we could have a little chat.”

“What do you want? was it really necessary for us to come here?” Joel asked, his tone edged with irritation. "Wouldn't want more people to see us now, right?" She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms. “I think you both know exactly what I want." You exchanged a worried glance with Joel, trying to gauge how serious she was. “What are youㅡ?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly. Marjorie pushed off the counter and walked towards you, her heels clicking sharply against the floor. “I want you to share him for a bit." she said bluntly, a cruel smile twisting her lips. “You’ve had your fun, but it’s time to let the grown-ups play too. Besides, it’s only fair, isn’t it? After all, we can't let your mom find out about you two..." Your heart sank. “You can’t be serious,” you said, laughing as disbelief washed over you. “Oh, I’m very serious. If you want to keep this little affair of yours a secret, you’ll have to comply with my terms. I’ll tell your mother everything if you don’t.”

“Why would you do this?” Joel’s voice was low, but you could hear the anger simmering beneath the surface. “Because it’s fun, Joel. Because I can. And because your little fling is just that—a fling. I want you back, and I’m not above playing dirty to get what I want.” You felt sick, caught in the middle of a game you never wanted to play. “This isn’t fair,” you whispered, feeling the tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “Life’s not fair, sweetie,” Marjorie shot back. “You should know that by now.”

Joel stepped in front of you, a protective stance that made your heart swell and ache at the same time. “You don’t have to do this. You could just walk away, Marjorie. You’re better than this.” She laughed, a sound that was anything but lighthearted. “Better? Oh, darling, I’m far from better. I’m just getting started. So, that's the deal. You decide now.”

You felt the world around you spin as Marjorie’s words sunk into you like a bullet. “You’re a terrible friend,” you spat, rage and hurt flooding through you. “Your mother is the one who’s a bad friend,” Marjorie retorted, her eyes narrowing. “She knew how I felt about Joel. She knew we were together all those years ago. And yet, she had the audacity to marry him anyway.” Tears burned at your eyes as her words cut deep. “You’re just bitter because he moved on,” you accused.

“Bitter? Maybe. But I’m also vindictive. You’re standing in my way, and I don’t like it.” Joel’s hand squeezed yours tightly, and you could feel the tension. "Oh, so that's the only thing keeping you away? the fact that I am with him and not that he's your best friend's husband?"

"Didn't stop you, honey. And she's your mom." As Marjorie’s laughter echoed around the room, a twisted sense of triumph in her eyes, you felt the walls closing in on you. She was ready to play this game to the bitter end, and the stakes were too high. “Fine,” you said suddenly, surprising both Joel and yourself. “I’ll think about it.”

Marjorie’s expression turned sly. “Good. You have until tomorrow. Make your decision, and let me know. I’ll be waiting.”

On your way back home, the car ride was silent. You turned to Joel, his face a mask of frustration. "What now?" You finally speak up. “We’ll figure it out,” he promised, but the doubt lingered in his eyes. The gravity of the situation bore down more intensely than ever before.

When you got home, the air felt suffocating and so cold at the same time. Your mother had gone to bed early, and joel decided to spend the night at his apartment, closer to where he worksㅡ again. the stillness of the house was a stark contrast to the storm of emotions raging within you. You wanted to scream, cry, and run away from everything that was happening. But instead, you collapsed onto your bed, staring at the ceiling as the reality of your situation washed over you.

The next morning brought with it a sense of impending doom. You felt like you were walking on a tightrope, and the slightest misstep could send you tumbling into chaos. Your mother chatted about her plans for the day, seemingly oblivious to it allㅡ her daughter was fucking her husband. But you couldn’t focus on her words; all you could think about was Marjorie and the ultimatum she had laid before you.

As the day wore on, the burden of your decision weighed heavily on your chest. You knew you couldn’t keep Joel, your mom and Marjorie happy without sacrificing something monumental. The thought of losing Joel made your heart ache, but so did the thought of being betrayed by your own mother. Hours passed, and by the time your mother left for a gathering with her friends from work, you felt like a coiled spring, ready to snap. “I’ll be back late, sweetheart,” she called over her shoulder, and for a moment, you felt that flicker of guilt in your very sould again.

With the house empty, you sank into the couch, pulling out your phone and staring at it, waiting for Joel to text. The minutes turned into hours, and just as doubt began to creep in, your phone buzzed, a message from him lighting up the screen.

• Meet me at our spot?

Your heart raced, and you felt a surge of trepidation.

• I’ll be there.

You arrived at the secluded spot by the river, where the world felt far away. Joel was already waiting, leaning against his truck, the setting sun casting a warm glow on his rugged features. When he saw you, a relieved smile broke across his face. “Hey, you,” he said, pulling you into a tight embrace. You melted against him instantly, feeling the warmth and safety of his presence.

“I don’t know what to do,” you admitted, pulling back to look into his eyes. “Marjorie is insane...”

but maybe so were you.

“Don’t worry about her,” he said, voice steady. “I won’t let her hurt you. We’ll figure this out together.” But even as he spoke, you could see the doubt flickering in his eyes. “She wants me to share you with her, Joel, what the actual fuck?" you whispered, the words feeling heavy and bitter on your tongue. “She can’t have you. You’re mine.” But then reality crashed in, and you felt the tears prick at your eyes. “What if she really tells mom?” you asked, desperation threading through your voice.

“Then we’ll deal with it. Together.” his hands were cupping your face, thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped. “I love you. You know that, right? No matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere, baby." but the words felt hollow. “What if this is all my fault?”

“It’s not,” he insisted, his grip firm, eyes fierce. “We’re not doing anything wrong. We love each other. That’s what matters. ain't nothin' wrong with lonving somebody."

yeah, your mom's husband.

You wanted to believe him, to let those words wash away the doubts, but all was a threat and it loomed large, an insidious whisper in the back of your mind, reminding you that love alone might not be enough to shield you from the consequences of your actions. "Mom wouldn’tㅡ she will not understand, Joel. She’ll be devastated.”

“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he said again, his voice firm, but you could sense the uncertainty lingering beneath the surface. “We can go to her together and explain it all. You’re everything to me, baby, you know that. this is just a lessonㅡ people will always try and come between us.” Just like you came between him and your mom.

You wanted to believe him, but fear clutched at your heart like a vice. “What if she gets angry and takes it out on you?” Even now, he was all you cared about. The thought was unbearable. “I can handle it,” he said, determination lighting his gaze. “No one is going to make me not love you, babygirl.”

Finally, you took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “I have to go home.” His expression shifted, disappointment mingling with concern. “Are you sure? We can stay a little longer—”

“I have to think. About everything.”

maybe love won't save it all.

The walk home felt like a thousand miles, each step heavy with dread. You replayed everything in your mind. was it really worth it? Was Joel worth it? Was your mom worth it?

the house was quiet, the only sound being the faint ticking of the clock in the hallway. You slipped inside, the darkness wrapping around you like a shroud, and paused for a moment to collect your thoughts. Suddenly, the silence was broken by the sound of the door opening. You froze, your heart racing as you turned to see your mother step inside, her face illuminated by the hallway light. She looked tired but happy, her laughter still lingering in the air as she made her way toward you.

“Oh, sweetheart! You’re back!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a warm embrace. You inhaled her familiar scent, a mixture of lavender and home, and felt a surge of guilt wash over you. “Hi, mom,” you said, your voice betraying the turmoil inside you. She smiled, but it faltered as she took a closer look at your expression. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I... it’s nothing,” you replied too quickly, the lie tasting bitter on your tongue. Your mother’s brow furrowed in concern. “You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right, ladybug?” A lump formed in your throat, and you fought to keep the tears at bay. “Yeah, I know.”

This was it.

The moment where everything hung in the balance, teetering on the edge of no return. You knew what you had done was wrong—there was no denying it. No sugarcoating, no excuses. But as awful as your betrayal was, letting her find out from someone else, someone who wanted to hurt her for sport would be even worse. It would be cruel, cowardly, and the final twist of the knife. The only thing you could do now, the only thing that held even a shred of dignity or decency, was to take control of the narrative. To tell her the truth yourself. Not because it would fix anything—nothing could. but because it was the last way to show her respect. The last chance to do something for her that wasn’t tainted with deceit or manipulation.

You owed her that much. Even if she hated you forever, even if she never looked at you the same way again, it would come from you— not from Marjorie or anyone else who wanted to see her destroyed. You had already broken her heart, but you couldn’t let them shatter her spirit. Taking a deep breath, you steadied yourself. It felt impossible, like standing in front of a firing squad, but you had to do it. The power had to be yours. This was the only way to make sure she knew the truth wasn’t a weapon someone else could wield against her.

You looked at her. If you’re going to lose everything, at least lose it by owning what you did. Not by running away.

“Mom, can we talk?” The words rushed out before you could second-guess yourself. She turned, her expression now serious. “Of course, honey. What’s on your mind?” You hesitated. You wanted to tell her everything—about Joel, about Marjorie, about the love that was blossoming in the shadows. You had to. “Just... something.” You started biting your lip.

"Something?" she pressed, her voice calm but with an undercurrent of concern. She stepped closer, her eyes searching your face as if trying to read your thoughts. “What’s going on, sweetheart?” Your chest tightened, the truth pressing down on you like a boulder. “It’s about Joel,” you blurted out, unable to stop the words from spilling over. Her face stiffened at his name, her posture straightening. “What about Joel?” she asked, her tone sharper now. The air grew heavier with each passing second, the silence between you stretching like a chasm. "Did he do anything to you?" her worry was obvious.

"N-no..." You swallowed hard, trying to steady your voice. “We’ve... been seeing each other.” The words were heavy and raw. Her face shifted, confusion and disbelief warring for dominance. “What do you mean ‘seeing each other’?” she asked with a laugh, though you knew she understood exactly what you meant. “I mean we’ve been... together,” you admitted. Her face twisted. “Together?” she repeated, the word snapping like a whip. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not,” you said, tears welling in your eyes. “Mom, I love him.” Her laughter was harsh, bitter. “You love him? Joel? My husband? Your stepdad?” Her voice cracked with fury and pain.

You hated to hear that. You hadn’t realized quite yet who he was to you. "He's not my dad, momㅡ"

“How long has this been going on?” she interjects. “Since... before the wedding,” you confessed, and the words hit her like a physical blow. She staggered back, her hand flying to her chest. “Before the wedding?” she repeated, her voice trembling. “So you’ve been lying to me this entire time? Both of you?" Tears streaked her face, but they did nothing to soften the anger in her eyes. “How could you? How could heㅡ ?!” Her voice rose. "Is this some kind of sick fucking joke?" her voice cracking. "It's not a joke, Mom," you said, your voice trembling. "I didn't want this to happen, but it did. I—"

"Didn't want this to happen?" she cut you off, her eyes blazing. "You expect me to believe that? That it just... happened? His dick just fell into you, right? You betrayed me! My own daughter, with my fucking husband!" She threw her hands up, pacing the room like a caged animal, her anguish filling every corner. “You’ve destroyed everything—everything! How long have I been the fool, sitting at home, playing happy family while you... while you—”

“Stop it!” you shouted, your voice breaking. “You don’t understand—”

“I don’t understand?!” she snapped, whirling to face you. “You don’t think I understand betrayal? You don’t think I know what it feels like to be stabbed in the back by the two people who should love me the most?” Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her breathing erratic. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” you said desperately, tears spilling freely now. “But I love him, Mom. I love him.”

“You love him?” she echoed mockingly. “You love my husband? Do you even hear yourself? What kind of daughter—what kind of person does this?” The venom in her voice stung, but you couldn’t back down now. “I’m not proud of this,” you said, your voice quiet and steady. “But it’s the truth. I love him, and he loves me.” Your voice rises again. She stared at you in disbelief, her jaw tightening. “Loves you?” she spat, her tone dripping with scorn. “Is that what he told you? That he loves you? That this is some grand romance and not just another one of his selfish, disgusting whims?”

“Stop it,” you said quietly, but she pressed on, her anger building like a storm. “Do you even know him?” she hissed. “The real him? Or are you just blinded by whatever lies he’s been feeding you? He’s a liar, a manipulator, and now he’s turned my own goddamn daughter against me.”

“You don’t know anything about us!” you shot back, your voice rising to match hers. “You think you’re the only one who’s ever been hurt? The only one who’s ever felt unloved? You don’t understand—”

“I don’t understand?” she interrupted, her voice rising to a shout. “What don’t I understand? That you’re selfish? That you’re reckless? That you’ve thrown away everything we had for... for him?” The words hit you like a slap, but they also ignited something inside you. “You don’t get to stand there and pretend you’re some kind of victim!” you yelled. “You’re not perfect, Mom! You’re not blameless!” Her face twisted in rage and pain. “So now this is my fault?” she demanded. “You’re blaming me for your choices? For his choices? You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m not blaming you,” you said, your voice trembling with emotion, as you were sobbing. “But you don’t get to act like you’re innocent either. You’ve pushed people away your whole life, and now you’re acting surprised that someone finally—"

“Stop,” she said coldly, her voice low but dangerous. “Don’t you dare try to twist this around. Don’t you dare try to justify what you’ve done.” The room fell silent for a moment. Finally, she spoke again, her voice quieter but no less filled with anger. “I gave you everything,” she said, her voice shaky. “I sacrificed everything for you. And this is how you repay me?”

“I know you didn’t want me,” you suddenly snapped, the years of buried hurt rising to the surface. “I always heard you fighting with Dad, saying I was your biggest mistake! Isn't that why dad left?" Her eyes widened, stunned by the shift in the conversation. “What?” she said, her voice barely audible. “I know,” you repeated, the words spilling out like a dam breaking. “I heard it all. I wasn’t deaf, Mom. I was a kid but i wasn't fucking stupid! I knew you never wanted me.”

Her face hardened, a mixture of guilt and defiance flashing across her features. “Of course, I didn’t fucking want you!” she shouted, the admission slicing through the air. “I was twenty years old! I didn’t want a kid, and guess what? I can’t change that! I can’t just grab you and shove you back into my fucking uterus, can I? But i didn't abandon you, Iㅡ"

“I already knew that,” you whispered, your voice hollow. “You didn’t know,” she snapped, her eyes blazing. “You didn't know shit! You’re just trying to make me the bad guy so you can feel better about the awful, disgusting thing that you did.” The room seemed to pulse. “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” you said, tears streaming down your face. “But it did, and I can’t change it.” She shook her head, her hands trembling. “You have no idea what you’ve done,” she said, her voice breaking. “You’ve destroyed everything. Our family. My marriage. Everything.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, the words feeling inadequate even as they left your lips. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but I can’t help how I feel.”

“You’re just like him,” she spat. “Selfish. Just like your fucking dad."

taglist ⭐️ ㅡ @eviispunk @joeldjarin @whimsiwitchy @guelyury @untamedheart81 @dollyxzy @mybvalentine @am-3-thyst @klajmekk @cuteanimalmama @corinnedollete @vickie5446 @gabymalikk

[sstan-hoe]

Scrub Daddy

QZ Joel visits you for a bath and a little extra (4.7k)

Tags - smut, dom!joel, mean!joel if you squint and I mean really squint because he does in fact fuck you with a certain kindness in his heart. dirty talking you through it. Ah, fuck it. Who am I kidding. pervy!joel too. dubcon, coercion, unprotected PIV, hand job, nyasty QZ joel eats it from the back, ass play and a tasteful amount of ass eating, nipple play, come shot, sex work, takes place in a brothel, JOEL SOUP (bathing that old man), Joel Miller hog reveal (it’s gargantuan, ludicrously capacious if you will), Joel Miller enjoys the finer things in life ie. pussy, Joel Miller tummy. Joel Miller's broad shoulders come with their own warning. Fic help - @beefrobeefcal @noxturnalnymph @endlessthxxghts Thank you all for your brains and eyeballs! A/N - MONTHS AND MONTHS LATE BUUUUT this is for my sweetheart @merz-8 who so generously streams herself playing TLOU and red dead for me 🩷 this fic is inspired by the many times she bathes Arthur. Mercy I love you!!!!!

Joel turns the tap on his shower and with his eyebrows raised, waits quietly to hear the sound of water rushing through the pipes in the wall. Nothing. “God bless it,” he mutters. The water’s been shut off for the past month or so in his apartment complex. He pays extra to have it but alas, nothing fucking works in the QZ. Everything’s broken down, falling apart, or will fall apart - it’s just a matter of time. 

Joel’s got limited options. He could visit the showers downtown, get hosed down like a dog with cold water that feels like knives in his skin, although the showers don’t open until 5AM tomorrow morning. He could wait it out, though he’s pretty fucking rank; he needs a shower yesterday. He could also rinse off at the sink with a damp rag. 

He thinks to himself, hands on his hips and biting his cheeks, weighing his options. Damp rag it is. Joel opens his linen closet and takes his ratty, stringy old rag with him to the kitchen. He wets it with the water from the five gallon jug allotted for drinking, then reaches for the FEDRA issued bar soap that’s meant to be used for everything - hand washing, dishes, laundry, et cetera, et cetera. Joel takes off his shirt and then lathers the bar soap in the rag, the clean and flowery smell permeating the air. He loves this scent - he doesn’t always get this specific one when he picks up his hygiene supplies once a month. God, when did he smell this last? Feels like deja vu. It’s so familiar, it couldn't have been too long ago…

Then the memory hits him: the whorehouse over at the old hotel. That’s where he smelled this soap last. It’s in the men’s rooms but more pertinent to Joel at this moment, it’s the soap used in the bathing rooms - different from the men’s rooms. Joel scoffs and puts the soap and rag on the kitchen counter. Yeah, he smirks to himself, that’s where he’ll catch a bath tonight. He puts his denim shirt back on, stuffs some clean clothes into his leather backpack and heads off into the night for the hotel. 

Joel’s strategic in how he gets there. Curfew’s at six, and it’s eight right now. FEDRA’s not too kind to those out after hours. He moves stealthily through alleyways, avoiding the harsh, white light of the soldier’s flashlights shining from above. Once at the old hotel, Joel knocks in a particular pattern on the side door. On the other side, a man peers through the peephole and verifies Joel’s identity, then opens the door just enough for Joel to slide on through, his belly rubbing against the edge of the doorframe.

It’s dingy on the inside, dark and lit sparingly only by some candles. Joel makes his way to the front room where a different man sits at a table. Joel reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his ration cards, flipping through the notes with a practiced flick of his thumb. “M’in need of a shower,” he says, laying the cards down on the table. He scans the room, recognizes a few familiar faces. 

The man covers the notes with his hand and slides them toward himself, then counts the cards through and nods. “Fourth floor, third door on the right.” 

Wordlessly, Joel heads up the staircase, knees cracking on about every other step. God, he’s getting old. Once at the fourth floor, Joel heads for that third door on the right and pushes it open with one hand, unbuttoning his denim shirt with ease using the other. 

This room is different from the others at this brothel. It has no bed, no carpeting, no soft surfaces of any kind that would be typical for activities performed in a place such as this. This room has just one large bath tub in the middle with a small table next to it, and in the corner is a small lamp, covering the room with a low golden glow. Once-green peeling paint covers the walls instead of torn floral wallpaper and cracks cover every tile on the floor below. Joel peels his clothes off and wraps a faded pink towel around his waist, his tummy bulging over the edge. He waits patiently next to the tub for a knock at the door. 

-

Your hands are wobbling in the dressing room. There’s really not much to dress yourself with, no makeup or anything like that. One of the girls suggested melting a colored pencil with some hot water or a lighter and then using that to paint your lips and cheeks, but she wouldn’t share her own with you. In the mirror, you fix your hair and straighten your borrowed dress, breathing deeply to try and calm your nerves. It’s your first night working here at the brothel, and you’re really not sure what to expect. 

Your boss, Jim, knocks on the dressing room door as a courtesy, but doesn’t wait to make sure everyone is decent. He just waltzes right in and announces to you all that there’s a client in room three waiting for bath assistance.

“Do you know who it is?” one of the girls asks Jim. 

“Yeah,” Jim answers. “Joel Miller. Who’s taking him?”  

The girl who gave you the tip on the colored pencils turns to her friends and whispers, then turns back to you. “You should take him,” she tells you. “You’ll love Joel, he’s nice. Very gentle with his girls. A real lover.” 

Her smile feels disingenuous, and it doesn’t help that her friends are laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Of course,” she lies. “And here–” She pulls out her lighter and a bubblegum pink colored pencil that’s stained black from repeated burning, and lights the end of the pencil on fire so that it melts a bit. She drips it onto her fingertips, then harshly smudges it onto your lips, biting down on a facetious smile. “Yeah. Joel will love you.” 

She doesn’t let you check your appearance in the mirror before ushering you to the bathing room, her hands on your lower back as she pushes you to the door. She slaps your ass, then heads back to the dressing room with the other girls, barely concealing a giggle in her wake. 

You inhale and exhale deeply, then knock on the door. The man - Joel - opens it for you and guides you inside, then locks the door behind you. Clad in nothing but a towel, he crosses his arms as he looks you up and down with a slow scan of his eyes, which makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. His brow is pinched together, he’s biting his inner cheek. His expression turns from studious to curious. 

The first thing you notice  is how handsome he is, you can’t even help yourself. His crossed arms strain his big, thick biceps. He has a full head of curly, graying hair, and a full set of teeth. Tall. He’s towering over you with a hulking form. His top lip sports a big, thick mustache, and his face is covered in a perfectly patchy beard. Sharp. He’s got a sharp nose, sharp jaw, and a sharp look in his inky dark brown eyes. You don’t know what you expected, but it certainly wasn’t him. 

“Name’s Joel,” he says. “Your turn.” 

You tell him your name, and Joel reaches for your hand and brings it to his lips. “S’that your real name?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. 

Fuck. “N-no,” you lie. 

Joel chuckles. “So you’re the new girl, huh?” 

“Mhm.” 

Joel laughs again. 

You squeeze past him to get to the tub, then twist the knobs of the bathtub, twisting them quicker when the water doesn’t come out. Joel watches you struggle for a minute, then comes up behind you and puts his strong hand on your lower back, fingers pressing against your ass. “Y’got it all wrong. Do it like this,” he instructs quietly, pulling up on the knobs, causing the water to come pouring out of the spout. He twists the handles himself, holding his hand under the running water to test the temperature. “See?”

“Mhm,” you nod. 

“Learn somethin’ new everyday, don’tcha?” 

Joel rounds the tub, then pulls out the tucked in end of the towel on his waist. You quickly turn your head in the opposite direction, garnering another chuckle from him. Every time he laughs at you, you feel worse. “No point in lookin’ away,” he tells you. “You’re gonna see it whether you wanna or not. Jus’ the nature of these things.” 

Joel hands you his towel, then steps into the long tub. From here, you get a good look at his naked form. He’s muscled beneath his softness, no doubt stronger than an ox. He’s broad, with vast shoulders and a relatively slim waist in comparison. His member is substantially sized, even soft, as it is now. His balls are even bigger, heavier. 

The bathwater moves as Joel’s weight sinks in, rocking back and forth in the tub. He sits down and stretches his legs out, the water running over his feet. You keep your distance as you fold Joel’s towel while waiting for the tub to fill the rest of the way, familiarizing yourself with the toiletries nearby. Washrag, shampoo, bar soap, plastic cup, a tub of petroleum jelly, a glass, and a bottle of whiskey. When the tub is filled, you shut off the water. 

Joel pours himself a large bit of the whiskey into the glass, “Quiet one, ain’tcha?” Joel says to you, then downs his drink. He pours another, then sips it. 

You shrug, unsure of how to respond to the man. You’re not really sure if you’re supposed to talk and if so, what you should say. You move to the end of the bathtub where Joel rests his head, then reach for the cup and fill it with Joel’s bathwater, then wet his graying curls. Little ringlets still form around his neck. 

Shampoo comes next, so you take the small bottle from the table. With wet hands you twist the cap, but it doesn’t come off. Joel waits patiently as you dry your hands on your dress and try again. 

“What’s goin’ on back there?” 

“The uh, the shampoo,” you say. “I can’t get the cap off.” 

Joel reaches behind himself, “I’ll give ya a hand,” he says, and you put the bottle into his palm. He unscrews it with ease, then hands it back to you as he tells you that you seem nervous. “Wait a second,” he says, “C’mere,”  and taps the edge of the tub with his right hand.��

“There?”

“Yeah, sit down.” 

Bottle in hand, you sit at the edge of the tub. “Closer.” Joel tugs you by the arm. “Ain’t gonna bite ya.” 

You pour a bit of shampoo into your palm, then Joel takes the bottle and sets it on the little table. You reach forward and scrub the soap into his hair, quickly working it into a lather. Joel watches your face closely, how you avoid looking him in the eye. He dips his hand into his bathwater then reaches for your face, his steaming hand on your jaw as he uses his wet thumb to wipe away the colored pencil that was hastily rubbed on your lips. You’re stunned, and Joel watches you with dark and hungry eyes, a little bloodshot too. “Pretty one, aren’t you? A girl like you shouldn’t be workin’ here.” 

You ignore him and continue washing his hair, tangling your fingers in the sudsy, thick curls. Joel holds your chin tighter and forces you to look him in the eyes. “You’re not givin’ me the silent treatment, honey, s’posed to talk to your clients. Make a man feel human. Answer me.” You’re intimidated immediately. If he is who the girls call nice, then…

“Wasn’t my first choice of a job,” you admit quietly. 

“How’d you end up here?”

“I needed money,” you whisper. “And the other girls said they wanted someone on bath duty. But that I wouldn’t have to-” 

Joel laughs loudly, cutting you off. “Oh, bless your fuckin’ heart. No, you’ll have to put out,” he says. “Job ain’t just washin’ dirty old men, sweetheart, that’s what a nursing home’s for. Those girls were fuckin’ with you. Sorry.” Joel gestures for you to continue. 

Your blood goes cold. You feel sick, even more nervous than before. Looking through the water, you see that Joel’s already hard for you as well.

“Go on. Speak.”

 You swallow thickly. “They also said you’re nice. Gentle.” 

Joel nods, then sips on his drink. “That’s some wishful fuckin’ thinkin’. Not me, darlin’. Think they’re hazin’ you. But-” Joel sets his drink back down, “-I’ll behave myself, be a gentleman for ya. Scout’s honor.” 

He says it so earnestly that you feel inclined to believe him. “You promise?” 

“Cross my heart,” he says. “I’ll break ya in real nice,” he adds under his breath. His little comment - or rather, what feels like a threat, has you flinching. “Relax, relax.” Joel holds his hand to your waist, keeping you close to him. “You’re fine. I treat all my girls nice. I told you I wouldn’t bite. You’re fine,” he repeats. Joel reaches for the plastic cup and fills it with his bathwater, then gives it to you to rinse his hair with. He closes his eyes, groaning softly. You’ll hear those same groans escaping his lips later when he fucks you, eats you alive. 

You admire his profile, that sharp slope of his aquiline nose, pouty lips and dark eyelashes. Water cascades down his thick neck and the broad planes of his freckled chest, landing into the pool of suds. After rinsing his hair, Joel takes the rag and the bar of soap and wets both, then hands them to you. You lather the soap on the rag, then Joel takes the soap back. You scoot closer to him and begin washing his neck and the muscles surrounding, scrubbing the rag into his skin. 

“Feel tense, don’t I?”

You’re not sure how to answer. “I guess, yeah,” you mumble.

“Yeah, you’ll fix that. Get me right.” 

Joel leans forward and tilts his head down, sighing as you scrub his broad shoulders, leaving little tracks of soap suds on his body. “Lil’ harder, sweetheart,” he groans. “Put some muscle into it.” 

You rub harder into his skin with the rag, massaging those tight muscles in his back and shoulders before lifting his heavy bicep to scrub his arm. Joel lifts his free arm and reaches for you, then tugs the front of your dress down, exposing your cleavage. “S’posed to show me a little skin, darlin’,” he murmurs, his hand lingering on your breast as he rubs his thumb left and right over your skin. “Gotta earn them tips somehow, right?” It makes your face heat up and your heart beat harder, faster. His fingers feel like electricity on your skin as he dips his hand lower, catching your nipple with his fingertips. He rubs the bud until it’s pebbled, then twists it between two fingers, causing you to gasp in pleasure. Joel smiles at that. 

Flustered by both his words and his actions, you pull his hand out of your dress, and Joel wears a crooked smirk. He outstretches that arm for you to wash, and you scrub his limb with the rag, speeding through the activity out of uneasiness and nerves. You drop his arms and quickly pat your hands off on your towel, then get up to leave. 

“Nuh-uh.” Joel grabs your arm and pulls you back down so that you’re sitting on the ledge of the bathtub again, the water splashing a bit when you land. “You ain’t finished yet. Legs need washin’, don’t they?”

“Umm…” 

“Think you’re forgettin’ somethin’ important too,” Joel mutters under his breath. He props his leg up next to you, and you can see his heavy balls and his thick cock standing at full mast beneath the water. With the rag, you scrub up to his knee. 

“Higher.” 

About halfway past his knee. 

“I said, higher.”

You scrub his upper thigh beneath the water’s surface now, washing right where his leg meets his hip. Impatient, Joel pulls the rag from your hand and holds your wrist, then guides your hand to that space between his thighs, wrapping your fingers around his shaft. “Right here,” he instructs you. “I’d reckon a man’s member certainly needs washin’ too, don’t it? ‘Less you like it dirty. Some of us do.”

You quickly stroke Joel’s shaft, just a quick slide of your hand up and down. Joel holds your hand under the water, “Keep goin’,” he mutters. You move your hand and down again, though your back aches from the angle and you have a difficult time reaching him. Joel notices your struggle. “Somethin’ wrong?”

“I can’t like- you’re too far-”

“Mm. I getcha,” Joel says, nodding in understanding. “Stand up for a minute.”

You stand up off of the ledge of the bathtub and Joel shifts in the tub, the water sloshing with his movements. He puts both of his dripping hands on your waist and then turns you where he wants you, then begins bunching up the fabric of your dress. “You do the rest,” he tells you. You pull the dress off of your body, feeling insecure under Joel’s watchful gaze as you fold the garment. “Panties too.”

You shimmy your panties down your legs and tuck them beneath your folded dress, which amuses Joel. So modest, so bashful. Those qualities of yours won’t last long here in the brothel.

After setting the clothes down near Joel’s belongings, you make your way back to him. He’s holding out his large, masculine hand for you to take. “C’mon in, there’s plenty ‘a room for us both. Watch your step,” he warns, using his strength to guide you into the tub. “Attagirl.”

You lower yourself into the bath, the hot water making your skin tingle. “Yeah, the water feels nice, don’t it?”

“It feels good,” you agree. You’ve always loved a hot bath, a rare luxury in the world you live in. 

“Now, where were we?”

Joel pulls you through the water so that you’re straddling his thick thighs, the head of his cock nudges against your pussy which sends a flutter through your stomach. You wrap one arm around Joel’s shoulders to stabilize yourself, your other hand staying below the water’s surface as you once again find his cock. This isn’t so terrible. 

You pump Joel’s cock, memorizing every vein on his shaft with the palm of your hand. He tilts his head back in pleasure, brows knit together as he sighs deeply. 

“Am I doing okay?”

“Doin’ just fine, hon’,” Joel mumbles. “All the way up, all the way down. Jus’ like that.”

On the next pass, starting from the thick tip of Joel’s dick, you squeeze him on your way down, down, until you reach his balls. You give them the kindest of squeezes, earning a moan from Joel. “S’perfect. Fuckin’ A,” he hisses.

And all the way up again. You increase in speed, though to avoid splashing, you don’t work him too quickly. You can feel him pulsing under your touch, a sensation that has your core throbbing. He’s breathing heavier, surely getting close now. You squeeze him harder and incorporate a twist of your wrist into your movements, coaxing his release along. 

Just as you find your groove, Joel stops you. “Yeah, nice try, kid. I ain’t payin’ for a fuckin’ handjob. Could do that shit myself for free.”

Joel spins you in the direction opposite of himself, then nudges you forward. He puts the items sitting on the wooden end table on the cracked floral tile below, then pushes the table over to your end of the bath, the wood creaking and groaning. 

He lifts you up and leans you over the edge of the bathtub, having you rest on the table, the cool air on your wet skin causing goosebumps to erupt. From here, you can see all the cracks in the wood, the swelling from the water damage. “Spread them legs, sweetheart. Make room.” 

The water splashes behind you as Joel moves into position and you brace yourself for the inevitable pain of Joel’s cock splitting you open. 

Only, it doesn’t come. You feel Joel’s thumb sliding through your folds before he spreads you wide, exposing your asshole and your pussy to himself, a picture perfect view. 

“Such a pretty cunt,” he whispers. “A fuckin’ shame it’ll get ruined.”

Joel presses a kiss to your asshole, then kisses his way down to your warm center, before finally dipping his tongue into your warm entrance. He groans at your taste, how sweet on his tongue you are with his face between your cheeks. He kisses his way up, up again, then spits on your tight hole. He circles the muscle with his tongue, tracing round and round before forcing his tongue inside. It’s fucking filthy, what he’s doing to you. All salacious and obscene. But you love it, god do you fucking love it.

“Yeah, old Joel ain’t so bad, is he?” Joel murmurs tauntingly into your flesh. He kisses his way down again, all sloppy and messy. He loves the sweet little sigh of relief you breathe out when he reaches your clit, the area you need him most. He moves his lips slowly against you, loving how you grow slicker and slicker. How your soft cunt feels against his face. Joel breathes you in deeply, taking in the scent of your arousal. No chance in hell he’s washing his face after this. Your musk will live in his facial hair for days, acting as somewhat of a comfort to him. Or perhaps a trophy. 

With his tongue pointed, Joel traces along your folds before plunging into your slick hole once more. He could spend forever between your thighs, that soft, sweet, most private of places. The momentary reprieve could last eternally, if he were so lucky. 

Joel savors all of you. Your hot, wet cunt, how your hips twist and turn as you chase your own pleasure. When he sucks your clit, he can feel your thighs twitch around his skull. Perfect, you’re so fucking perfect. He has half a mind to take you back to his apartment when he’s done with you, keep you all to himself. Leave you lying naked in his bed, be his little slice of heaven in such a cruel, fucked up world. 

Joel circles your clit with his tongue, finding that perfect pleasure that has you moaning his name. Steadily, steadily, he keeps you like this until you’re coming for him, gushing all over his face as he fucks you through your release with his tongue. 

You’re left breathing heavily on the table, trying to collect yourself. Joel leans over you and wears a cocky grin. “What’d I tell you, huh?” he asks. “Told you I take good care of pussy. Shoot, look at ya, all fucked out.”

You can’t help but smile at him. Joel moves behind you once more, spreading your legs wide and slotting himself between them. 

“But,” he says, “Fair’s fair. My turn now, sweet girl.”

Joel tugs on his cock, as it’s softened a bit without any stimulation. God, he’s getting old. Once at full mast again, Joel drags the blunt head of his cock through your folds, all slick and slippery with your wetness. “Ready?” he says, notching himself inside you. It’s already a painful stretch. 

“Mhm,” you hum, uncertainty lacing your tone. 

With one hand guiding his cock inside, Joel has the other on your hip. He squeezes you comfortingly as he inches his way inside. He can see that you’re squeezing your eyes shut, wincing in pain. “Oh, I know, I know, I know,” he coos. “S’a tight fit, I know. Take a deep breath, breathe through it. You got it,” he says. “You are a professional after all, hm?” Joel teases. 

You inhale and exhale deeply, your walls stretching and aching as Joel’s thick cock pushes deeper and deeper inside you. 

“Halfway there,” he tells you. “S’easier f’ya let me rip the bandaid off.” He’s not asking your opinion, it’s a warning of what’s to come. A courtesy, perhaps. 

Joel pushes inside you all the way, the slide inside your body has him groaning and throwing his head back. The intrusion of his cock is so sharp it shatters you and scrambles every thought inside your head and you feel impossibly full, every other sensation disappearing as your mind focuses only on what you feel between your legs. 

Joel pulls out of you slowly, then pushes back in. He repeats the motion until your expression has softened, until you’re not biting your lips and your brows relax into a natural position. “There she is,” Joel praises you. “What a good girl. Knew you had it in ya. Good fuckin’ girl.”

He builds a steady pace, quickening it to his liking in time. His thrusts are fluid, deep, and intentional; he fucks you perfectly, with consideration for both you and himself. This, this was not what you were expecting. You feel both of his strong hands squeezing your middle, and Joel watches how your flesh bulges between his fingers. 

“Joel,” you whimper. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah, feels good. Goddamn, you feel good.”

The water sloshes as Joel slams his hips into yours, not that he gives a shit. He fucks you harder, faster, building that pleasure deep in his gut. Joel leans over you and finds your clit with his hand, pulling back the hood before rubbing tight little circles into the sensitive part. “Gimme another,” he breathes. “One for the road. M’gonna miss this pussy.”

Joel pounds into you, the tip of his cock hitting that special place inside you that feels so good, a primal sort of pleasure. All you can do is lay there and take it, let him guide your orgasm along with his measured thrusts and skilled fingers. It’s only a little longer of him drawing in and out of you, and then you’re coming all over again. It’s a hot and intense, all-consuming sort of pleasure. A sensation you’ve never known before now, before Joel. Fucking nothing compares. 

“Oh, fuck. Christ almighty,” Joel groans, feeling your cunt squeeze around his shaft in non-rhythm. He looks down at where his body meets yours, the creamy rings of arousal you’ve painted onto his cock. Joel quickens his pace even further, hips stuttering as he frenetically pounds into you. You groan at the loss of him pulling out of you, but your displeasure is swiftly soothed by the feeling of his hot spend painting your backside. Rope after rope of his come, all warm and sticky. 

It’s quiet, save for the splashing of water. Joel searches for the rag and the soap from before and lathers both, then scrubs his come off of your skin, which tickles you. “See?” he says. “What’d I tell ya. M’a gentleman. Somethin’ like it, at least.”

Joel steps out of the tub and dries his hair, turning it into a fluffy mess. He pats his body down next, and in your blissful, fucked-out state, you get a perfect view of his plump ass before he dresses himself. He combs his hair back with his fingers, then reaches into his pocket for some ration cards. 

“Let’s see here,” he murmurs, licking his thumb before flicking through the notes. He pulls out a generous amount, then slaps the cards down on the end table where you rest your head. “Think we’re square. You come and find me if I’m short, though, yeah?”

“Okay,” you whisper, barely lucid. 

Joel pushes some hair out of your face and bends down to kiss your cheek. “Until next time,” he says. “Keep outta trouble.”

-

IF YOU ENJOYED PLEAE TELL ME SO! I love talking to you guys, and I love how you make this blog feel like a community. Reblogs, comments, ASKS!!! Are all so appreciated. Mwah. Have a safe week, everyone 🩷

Extra kitty pics cuz I love ya.

[sstan-hoe]

another man’s marks

pairing: toxic!bucky barnes x toxic!female reader

summary: you're texting with your situationship when he asks for a nude photo—but you're covered in marks left by another man. wanting to see what he'll do, you send a photo of yourself, and you're rewarded with a very torturous and enjoyable reaction.

warnings: 18+ content (minors dni!!!), established situationship, smut, piv sex, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering (f receiving), masturbation (m), come play, bdsm elements, a lot of biting and marking, orgasm delay, choking, some breath play, some pain play, some dacryphilia, dirty talk, daddy kink, praise kink, degradation kink, pet names (baby), begging, teasing, some aftercare, taking and sending nude photos, possessive behavior, toxic behavior, jealousy, referenced but not shown situationship between reader and john walker, very anti-john walker behavior

word count: 7.3k

a/n: so this post came across my dash and i had the thought 'ok but what if you sent a situationship a picture covered in another man's marks?' and i started thinking about how toxic situationship bucky might react and then i wrote the first draft of this fic very quickly 🤭 i actually really love toxic bucky but i'm a little nervous to share this because i just want you all to love him as much as i do 🥺 (and, actually, he's not as toxic as i originally intended but y'know what, that's ok i think). i hope y'all enjoy ♡

you ain't my boyfriend and i ain't your girlfriend series masterlist

Let me see your tits, baby.

The text message drew a huff of noise from you, one that was half laugh, half scoff. You were laying in bed, already wearing your pajamas—an oversized tee and panties—and catching up with your situationship, Bucky Barnes, before you went to sleep.

His request wasn’t entirely out of the blue. After asking how your day was, Bucky had started complaining about his day, and you’d known the man long enough to know those kinds of conversations often led to him asking you to send a photo of yourself—though he usually wanted a picture of what panties you were wearing.

Most of the time, you didn’t hesitate to take a picture to send to him. But that time, you paused.

You liked Bucky. You liked talking to him and hearing about his day, and when you were together, you had fun. Plus, you liked sending photos of yourself to him, and you enjoyed the fact that he wanted to see your body when he wasn’t with you. It stroked your ego when he asked for a photo, and he always responded with filthy praise that turned you on. 

But that particular night, you had a problem preventing you from simply taking a photo. And, really, the problem was partly to blame on Bucky. 

From the beginning, he’d said he didn’t do relationships, he’d told you he wasn’t ready to commit to just one person. He’d been clear and up front about what he wanted, and it was nothing more than a situationship, which was fine with you. You liked him, but you weren’t going to beg for more.

But you’d also decided that if he wasn’t going to commit to you, then you certainly weren’t going to clear out your roster just for him. You weren’t going to be one of those girls sitting at home pining away for some guy. Not even Bucky Barnes.

Which, in a long, winding way, led to your current predicament. 

After all, there was a difference between Bucky being vaguely aware you were still hooking up with other guys—since you occasionally referenced your roster—and him seeing the evidence of it. And you had to wonder how he’d react if you took a picture of your tits in the state they were that evening…

It had only been about a day since your last hookup, and your mind wandered to the night before. You’d met up with one of the other guys on your roster, John Walker, and had a decently enjoyable dick appointment. You hadn’t expected Bucky or any of the other men on your roster to ask for pics, so you’d let John do what he wanted to your body.

If there were two things you knew about John Walker, it was that he and Bucky hated each other, and he loved your tits. John loved playing with them, he loved sucking on them, and he loved leaving hickeys all over them. Which he’d done the night before—and then proceeded to give you a not very satisfying orgasm. 

Sure, it’d done the trick in the moment, but not even 24 hours later, you were already restless again, your body needing a proper release, which you knew Bucky could give you. But you weren’t planning to see Bucky for at least a couple days, not until the evidence of your hookup with John had faded.

Lifting your shirt, you looked at John’s handiwork. Your tits were dotted all over with at least a dozen tiny little love bites, and your body warmed as you remembered the knife-edged pleasure that came along with each little mark. They were so recent, the bruises were still reddish, not having yet fully faded to a dark purple. 

As you looked at them, you had a devious thought—what would Bucky do if he saw John’s marks on your body? Would he blow you off, stop talking to you, maybe even ghost you? Or would he need to see you so badly that he’d come over to your apartment? Would he fuck you and give you the release you needed?

Thinking through your options, you knew it would be the kind, respectful thing to send Bucky an older photo, one of your tits when they were entirely unblemished. You had plenty of photos like that on your phone—and Bucky probably wouldn’t even notice if you sent him the same photo twice.

Or… You could send Bucky a photo of your tits covered in another man’s hickeys. You could, if he asked, tell him exactly who had given you all those hickeys. And then, you could see what Bucky would do about it. 

A wicked smile crept across your face as you came to a decision. 

Lifting your shirt again, you arched your body toward the light in your room, making sure the marks were clearly visible on your skin, then you snapped a photo of your tits. Before you could talk yourself out of the idea that was probably toxic and definitely a little mean, you sent the photo to Bucky.

His reply was almost instantaneous.

Who the fuck did that to you.

You bit back your mischievous giggle, even if you were alone in your room and there was no one to hear the evil way you wanted to cackle at Bucky’s response. Excited thrills raced through your veins, warmth blooming between your thighs at the anger laced in his text message.

You knew you’d be pushing him further toward anger by answering his question—you knew how much Bucky and John hated each other—but he’d asked. And besides, you were hoping he’d take out all that anger on your body in the most delicious of ways. So you sent a simple response.

John Walker.

You waited for Bucky’s response. 

And waited. 

But as the minutes ticked by and Bucky didn’t text back, your heart sank more and more, and the delighted smile on your face flattened into a frown. You began to think Bucky might actually be ghosting you.

For only a moment, you let yourself feel disappointed at the way your phone didn’t light up with another text from your situationship, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to be sad over a man like Bucky Barnes. Even if he fucked you way better than John Walker or any of the other guys on your roster. Even if you liked him more than any of the other guys you’d been with.

Hauling yourself up from your bed, you went through your nighttime routine, brushing your teeth and washing your face while listening to music. It wasn’t until you were about to slip into bed and go to sleep that your phone buzzed with a new text message. 

Your heart lept into your throat when you saw it was Bucky and you scrambled to read his response, eager to know what had taken him so long. Your breath caught in your throat and excitement buzzed wildly through your veins when you saw what he’d written.

I’m outside. Open your door.

A shiver of anticipation zipped down your spine as you bounded out of bed, an ecstatic grin spreading across your face at the realization that you’d got what you wanted—Bucky was at your apartment. And he was going to do something about the photo you’d sent him. 

It took all your self control not to run to your apartment door and fling it open excitedly to greet Bucky. Instead, you forced yourself to take your sweet time padding to the door, your movements deliberately lazy as you unlocked it and swung it open.

Bucky Barnes loomed on the other side, his head hanging between stiff arms, his hands braced on either edge of the frame like he was holding himself back from kicking down your door. His broad shoulders were bunched up, his short, brown hair messy like he’d been running his hands through it. His chest was heaving as he breathed harshly. 

When he lifted his head, the stubborn possessiveness in his darkened blue eyes slashed right through to your heart. He’d never looked at you that way before, and you had the terrible, fleeting thought that you could get used to being the only girl Bucky looked at so possessively. 

For a moment, the two of you just stared at each other. Then, Bucky stalked forward, crowding you into your apartment and gathering you up in his strong arms while he kicked the door shut behind him. It closed with a rough slam that had your pulse skittering in your veins, your heart already pounding in your chest as Bucky crushed you in his arms.

His gaze held yours and there was something about the emotions swirling his eyes, a mixture of uncompromising possessiveness and lustful determination, that felt dangerous. Not to your body, but to your heart. 

“You got a lotta nerve sending me a picture with another man’s marks on you,” Bucky growled as he walked you backward toward your bedroom, his hands groping your hips and ass like every inch of your body belonged to him. “You weren’t trying to make me jealous, were you, baby?” 

His words were a furious hiss that he punctuated by ducking down and snapping his teeth at your plump lower lip, biting you roughly enough to wring a gasp from your lungs. Between your thighs, you could feel your pulse pumping needily, your body aching for so much more of Bucky’s rough treatment even as you forced yourself not to cower and submit like you wanted.

Pushing against Bucky’s shoulders until he leaned back and you could catch his eye, you quirked an eyebrow at him in a dry expression of amusement. 

“You’re a big boy, Bucky,” you said, before pausing to run your tongue along your lower lip, feeling the tender spot he’d bitten. Dark satisfaction swirled in your chest, but you made yourself shrug indifferently. “And I’m not your girlfriend—so if you’re jealous, that’s your problem, not mine.”

“You let him mark you,” Bucky snarled, an accusation in his tone as he stared deep into your eyes.

For a moment—just a brief moment—you saw a hurt look in Bucky’s gaze, and it pricked at something deep in your heart. Something you refused to look at or examine, especially not with Bucky standing right in front of you. You didn’t want to think about the fact that Bucky might’ve been hurt by your actions, or that you cared about his feelings enough to want to apologize.

But you supposed you could take pity on him. You’d tormented him enough for one night. 

“Yeah,” you said, cocking your head to the side, a sly smirk curving your lips. “And what are you gonna do about it, daddy?” You practically purred the final word, knowing how Bucky would react to it. 

Just like that, the hurt vanished from Bucky’s expression and heat sparked in his icy blue eyes, a menacing smile pulling across his face. 

“You wanna see what I’m gonna do about it?” he growled, his voice a low, dangerous rumble. “Oh, baby, you’re not fucking ready for what I’m gonna do to your pretty little slutty body.”

Bucky crowded into you, pushing you backward until your legs hit your bed, and then he was shoving you down to the soft blankets. You crawled backward into the center of the bed while Bucky toed out of his shoes and took off his jacket, leaving him in only a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. 

Once he’d tossed his jacket somewhere in your room, he didn’t waste anymore time, prowling onto the bed and using his hands to push up the hem of your oversized tee. His head fell to your body, his teeth nipping harshly at your soft belly to make you squeal and squirm as he worked his way up. He delivered the same treatment to the curves of your brests and the delicate skin of your collarbone.

When his face finally hovered above yours, his breathing was harsh and his expression was filled with a determination so stubborn, you knew you were going to have a long night while Bucky showed you why you shouldn’t let another man mark your body.

“You’re not leaving this bed until you’ve got so many of my fucking marks on your body that you won’t even think about sending nudes to anyone else,” Bucky growled, tugging off your tee, pushing your legs open so he could settle between them, and descending on your tits. 

He found the first of John’s marks and sank his teeth into the skin around it, sucking hard on the already aching bruise. The spot gave a little twinge of pain from Bucky’s rough treatment, but it only mixed deliciously with the pleasure he was dragging from your body, and your fingers threaded into his hair, clinging to him while he sucked on your skin.

Bucky worked the reddish-purple blemish relentlessly with his mouth and teeth until it was bright again, and so much larger than the mark John had left. Then, when he was done, Bucky moved on to the next hickey, scraping his teeth over the bruise and wringing a helpless cry from your lips before he sucked the curve of your tit into his mouth. 

It went on like that for you didn’t know how long, Bucky working methodically down and across your chest, sucking and biting every bruise John had left behind on your body until each one was replaced with a new, bigger mark.

If you begged Bucky for more—or tried to push his furious mouth down toward your pussy, which was throbbing almost painfully with need—he’d simply narrow his eyes at you, giving you a look like you’d known exactly what you were getting yourself into when you’d sent that photo to him. Then he’d work his mouth even harder, even more roughly against your body, until you were tossing your head back into your pillows and moaning your pleasure.

By the time he was done, you were nothing more than a whimpering, pleading mess beneath him. Your eyes were filled with tears of desperation, and your inner thighs were sticky with the sheer amount of desire soaking your panties and coating your trembling flesh. 

“Daddy, please,” you begged on a sob, shoving at Bucky’s shoulders to get his attention as he roughly kissed a spot in the valley between your tits, licking and sucking a new hickey into your skin. 

At the sound of your ragged voice, Bucky lifted his head, but you could already tell by the determined glint in his eye and the stubborn set of his jaw that he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted just yet. 

“Hush, baby,” he rasped in a dark, patronizing tone, lowering his mouth back to your chest and sucking on the hickey he’d just left. “Daddy’s just getting started marking your beautiful body with all the pretty little bruises I want.” His voice was a rough growl that reverberated beneath your skin.

Between your thighs, you could feel more of your desire trickling into your panties, which were already soaked all the way through and sticking to your clammy skin. A whine worked its way up your throat and spilled from your lips before you could stop it, your legs squirming around Bucky’s sides, trying to grind your cunt against his body but unable to get the angle right. 

While you wriggled frustratedly, Bucky paid you no mind, shifting down your body as he picked a spot for his next mark. When his teeth sank into the soft flesh of your belly, you cried out, arching up off the bed and spreading your thighs wider to make room for Bucky’s broad shoulders. 

Your fingers twisted in his soft brown hair, trying to push his head down further, until it was between your thighs, whimpering a soft sob of, “Bucky, please.” 

But Bucky was having none of it. Despite your pleading and protests, he took his time, only peeling your panties away from your soppy wet cunt after taking his time leaving a trail of hickeys on your belly. 

When he saw how wet you were, Bucky chuckled and murmured, “Such a messy little slut, baby.” 

He’d said the words fondly and, if you weren’t mistaken, there was affection in the curve of his smile that had you feeling something you didn’t want to look at too closely. But your treacherous heart beat a little harder all the same.

Then his words sank into your lust-soaked mind and heat bloomed in your face at the gentle degradation. But what little shame you could conjure up only mixed with the burning of your desire as you stared down into Bucky’s darkened eyes, holding his gaze while he took off your panties and tossed them somewhere in your room.

He turned his focus back to the juncture of your thighs, shoving your legs wide open and smirking when you let out a helpless little moan at the feeling of the cool air brushing against your heated, dripping cunt. You were so worked up, you could feel your inner muscles clenching around nothing, needing to be filled with something.

“Your pussy’s winking at me, baby,” Bucky rumbled, laughter in his voice as he spread your pussy open with his fingers. You could feel it, your body winking at the man between your thighs like you were begging him to slide inside you—his fingers or his cock, you didn’t care. “She wants me bad, doesn’t she, baby?”

Bucky’s taunting words had you covering your face and letting out a low, tortured groan even as your hips twitched, your body yearning desperately to be filled, to be fucked. “Bucky,” you whined, drawing out his name pitifully as your hips bucked into his hands, seeking more of his touch.

But Bucky didn’t oblige your body’s request. His hands skimmed away from your pussy and along your thighs to hold you behind your knees, pushing your legs up to your chest so you were bared fully to his heated gaze. When you peeked out from between your fingers, you saw him staring hungrily down at your cunt, but at your movement, his gaze flicked up and caught yours.

“Do ya want me that bad, baby?” Bucky purred, ducking down to nuzzle his scruffy cheek against your inner thigh—so close to where you needed him, but still too far away. On instinct, your hips bucked upward, trying to press your pussy against Bucky’s face, but he held you down, grinning as he went on. “Ya want daddy’s fat cock to pound into your cute little cunt, huh, baby—want it hard and rough so you’ll be feeling me in your pretty pussy for days?”

“Oh god yes—yes, please, Bucky—daddy, please, I need your cock,” you babbled desperately, your hips squirming as you humped the empty air, seeking any part of Bucky that you could grind your aching cunt against. You didn’t care if it was his mouth or his cheek or his shoulder, you needed something.

Instead of giving you that, though, Bucky turned his face and sank his teeth deep into your thigh, hard enough that your pussy pulsed violently and you thought you were going to cum. But you didn’t. 

Once the blinding sensation of pain and pleasure passed, you knew you wouldn’t manage to tip over the edge just from Bucky’s teasing. You weren’t going to cum until he finally paid attention to your pussy, and somehow you suspected Bucky knew that. 

“Tell me how bad you want me,” he growled, sucking on your skin and beginning to leave a new mark on your inner thigh. His gaze was locked on yours as he stared up your body, past your heaving chest that was already littered with his marks, commanding you with the stubborn, possessive look in his eyes to do as he said.

“Want you so bad, daddy,” you cried, your whole body trembling like a leaf in a bitter autumn wind. Tears of frustration and need were pooling in your eyes again and you knew that if Bucky kept edging you for much longer, they were going to spill down your cheeks. “Want you more than anything—anything—please just fuck me!”

Bucky’s eyes glittered, the possessiveness is his gaze deepening and turning into something feral as he stared up your body. Finally, his mouth pulled away from your quivering thigh—after he placed one last affectionate kiss on the mark he’d left. 

“Tell me you want me more than John fucking Walker,” he spit out, shifting his head to your other thigh and sinking his teeth into your soft flesh as he held you pinned to your bed with his thick biceps wrapped around your legs. 

Your heart fluttered in your chest and your breath caught in your throat. You hadn’t expected to get such a reaction out of Bucky when you’d sent him that picture of your tits with John’s marks all over them. But you also couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. Not when he was looking at you like you were his while he sucked yet another mark into your skin.

“I want you so much more than him,” you murmured. “I want your marks on me, I want your cock and your cum in me—I want you, Bucky.”

The words tumbled from your lips—the ones Bucky had demanded—and you were more than a little surprised by the vehemence in your voice, and how easy it was to admit you wanted Bucky more than John. 

Sure, you’d known he was a better fuck than John, but things with Bucky felt right in a way they didn’t with any of the other men on your roster. Like the two of you fit together somehow.

And that scared you. It scared you enough that you rushed on, forcing yourself to raise an eyebrow at Bucky and muster a dry tone as you asked, “Is that what you wanted to hear?” You could detect the hitch of emotion beneath the taunting tone of your voice, but with any luck, Bucky wouldn’t.

Thankfully, he seemed not to notice, responding to your words by growling into the soft flesh of your thigh, his eyes narrowing into a glare. He gave the hickey he’d sucked into your skin one last pull, then pushed himself up. 

Before you could beg again for him to fuck you, Bucky roughly grabbed your hips and flipped you over. His teeth sank so hard into the plush curve of your ass, you screeched into your pillows. There was more pain than pleasure that time, but Bucky knew the edge you liked to walk and he didn’t give you more than you could handle.

As it was, even more wetness flooded between your thighs and you writhed beneath Bucky’s big body, all the small stinging aches of the marks he’d left blending with the pulsing throb of need coursing through your veins. It was enough to break the damn of your tears and you sobbed into your pillows.

“Bucky, please, please, I need your dick,” you cried, straining your neck to look at him over your shoulder. 

Bucky’s dark blue eyes were narrowed into slits and when he finally pulled his teeth from your ass, he continued glowering at you, looking grumpy and almost entirely unbothered by your pleas. You knew he wasn’t entirely unaffected, though, because his cock twitched against your thigh when he saw your tear-stained face.

“Tell me you won’t do it again and I might consider giving you some dick,” he growled, holding your gaze as he ducked down to lick and soothe the bite mark he’d left on your asscheek. 

“I won’t send you another picture covered in John’s marks, I promise,” you rushed to say, arching your back and whining. Your body was moving on its own, trying to present your pussy to Bucky, but he only scraped his teeth over the mark he’d left in your skin.

“Not good enough,” Bucky grumbled, shifting to your other cheek and sinking his teeth into your ass, giving you another bite mark. When you hissed at the pain, Bucky relented, stroking his tongue over the spot as he sucked on your skin. “No one else gets to mark you but me.”

You had to look away to hide the way your eyes rolled at that demand. Bucky wouldn’t commit to you, but he wanted you to promise you wouldn’t let another man mark you. Fucking men. You glared into your pillows, not saying anything and hoping he’d drop it if you didn’t respond.

He didn’t. 

“Say it, baby,” Bucky growled, leaning to the side and slapping your ass. He managed to hit the exact spot he’d bitten, which was tender from his teeth and mouth, making you cry out. “Say I’m the only one allowed to mark you.”

“Men who aren’t my boyfriend don’t get to make demands like that, James,” you snarled, turning to glare at him over your shoulder. 

The two of you glared at each other for a long minute. You knew Bucky could be stubborn, but you could be much more stubborn when you wanted to be—and you fucking wanted to right then. If Bucky thought you were going to let him dictate what you could or couldn’t do with other men while he refused to commit, he had another thing coming.

Slowly, Bucky shifted up onto his hands, climbing up your body with the languid movements of a predator until his bigger form covered your smaller one. 

Still, you glared at each other. 

His hand pushed his sweatpants down until his cock bounced free, the stiff length slapping your ass lightly. His precum immediately started leaking into the valley between your cheeks, and your pussy pulsed in desire.

Still, you glared at each other.

“Say it, or you’re not getting my dick,” Bucky rumbled obstinately, pushing his stiff length between your thighs to drag against your dripping wet slit. 

You sucked in a sharp breath and arched your back, giving him more of your pussy to rub against—but that didn’t mean you were going to submit to his ridiculous demand. And he wasn’t going to turn you into a liar.

“Say you’re my boyfriend, or you’re not getting my pussy, daddy,” you retorted, putting as much mocking sarcasm into the nickname as you could manage. 

Bucky’s eyes flashed with so much annoyance, you couldn’t help the satisfied smirk that curled your lips, which only made his face contort in even more frustration. 

His hand reached between your thighs, pressing his cock deep into your slippery folds until the head caught at your tight hole. But he didn’t push inside. Instead, he let the tip slide through your folds to grind against your clit.

Need and desire pounded an unceasing drumbeat beneath your skin, your hands curling into fists in your blankets as you bit back a desperate moan. But you didn’t let your face go slack with pleasure, you kept right on glaring at Bucky over your shoulder, even as he repeated the motion, teasing your tight little pussy with the head of his big cock. 

Finally, something in Bucky snapped and he ducked down, capturing your mouth in a savage kiss, his lips and teeth attacking yours until both of you were breathless with need. You were practically vibrating with it beneath Bucky’s big body, and even his arms were trembling when you blinked your eyes open as he pulled away. 

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me, baby,” Bucky rumbled, his voice so low and gravelly, you felt its deep tenor roll down your spine and settle deliciously in your core. As he spoke, he tilted his hips just the right amount and pushed the head of his cock into your dripping hole, making both of you groan in pleasure. 

“Right back at ya, daddy,” you quipped at him, your voice embarrassingly breathless as you clung to the blankets of your bed and arched your spine, pushing back into Bucky as he pressed forward. 

It took one long, glorious moment for Bucky to sink the full length of his cock inside your drenched, sopping wet pussy, and you nearly blacked out at how good it felt after so long of his teasing torture. 

He was bigger and thicker than any man you’d ever been with—though you’d never in a million years admit that to him—and it was always a little overwhelming when he first slid inside. But you loved it. You loved the way your body stretched to fit him, the way you could feel your pussy wrapped so snugly around his thick length. You loved the way you could feel him throb and twitch inside you, especially when he was close to cumming. 

And you could tell by the way his cock was twitching inside your tight hole that he was already close. That was good, because after all his teasing had worked you up, you didn’t think you were going to last long anyway.

Bucky gave you a moment to adjust to his size while he yanked his t-shirt over his head. Then he was pressing his bare chest to your back and pushing you deeper into the soft blankets of your bed until you lay prone beneath his strong body.

Only then did he pull his hips back, making you feel every delicious inch of his thick cock, before slamming inside again. Wrapping his arm underneath your neck, he tucked his bicep beneath your chin and held you pinned to his chest, forcing you to arch your spine more and feel the way his hips clapped against your ass as he pounded into you.

“I’m the only one who can fuck you like this, baby,” Bucky growled in your ear, grinding his cock into the depths of your cunt until you were whimpering beneath him. “You’re daddy’s good little slut, and only daddy can fuck your pussy the way you need it, isn’t that right?”

“Yes—yes, daddy, you fuck me so good,” you cried out, hands scrabbling at the bed sheets for leverage to push back into him. 

“Tell me what I want to hear,” he demanded harshly in your ear, the words sinking into the deepest parts of your brain. 

A twisted smile curled the corners of your mouth because you knew exactly what Bucky wanted to hear, and you were only too happy to give it to him. It was safer to admit what you were about to admit because it was the heat of the moment, and you hoped Bucky would think you were just saying it to make him happy. Only you could know that you meant every word.

“You fuck me so much better than John, daddy,” you purred, pushing your hips back into Bucky’s thrusts, forcing him deeper into your cunt until you were so full of him, you thought he was imprinting himself on your very being. “Your dick feels so good, so big, daddy—you’re the only man who fucks me so good, Bucky, you’re the best dick I’ve ever had. ”

“Fuck—fuck, baby,” Bucky bit out, his mouth brushing against your cheek, his stubble rasping against your skin and making you shiver. He fucked you harder, faster, rutting into your slick cunt like he was trying to leave another mark inside you. “Rub your clit for me, wanna feel you cum on my fat cock.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You slid your hand between the blankets and your body, slipping it between your thighs and circling the tight nub of your clit with a viciousness that matched how Bucky was fucking you. Your inner walls clenched down hard on Bucky’s cock, dragging filthy groans from both your mouths as he pushed deeper and began grinding inside you.

“Your pussy feels so fucking good,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. “Never felt anything so tight.” He let out a harsh breath, his forehead falling to your shoulder as he kept up his relentless fucking, pushing you closer and closer to the edge of your release. “Feels like you’re choking my cock, baby—I can’t hold on much longer.”

“Choke me, daddy,” the words tumbled from your lips before you could stop yourself, the deepest recesses of your brain responding to Bucky’s words in a plea for one of your darkest desires.

Bucky’s bicep and forearm squeezed the sides of your neck instantaneously, giving you what you begged for and cutting off some of your air so you were forced to gasp for every little breath. You pussy squeezed tighter around his cock, wringing a rasping chuckle from the depths of his chest.

“You’re such a filthy, depraved little slut, baby,” Bucky murmured teasingly in your ear before nipping the shell with his teeth, dragging a ragged cry from your lips. “Ya like it when daddy chokes you, huh? Bet John fucking Walker doesn’t choke you like this, does he?”

“No,” you gasped, your voice hoarse but genuine as you admitted, “He’d never choke me—he’d never treat me like a slut.”

“That’s fucking right,” Bucky growled, somehow managing to fuck you even harder, his hips snapping into your ass so hard, you could hear the sharp clapping of his skin against yours even over his heavy breaths panting in your ear. 

“I’m the only man who can fuck you like you need it—dirty and rough. That’s how you like it, isn’t it, baby—you like being fucked like a slut?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes,” you chanted, as much in response to Bucky’s debauched question as to the feeling of his cock pounding into your cunt. You were so close—so close you could barely think, but you knew everything Bucky was saying was right. He was the only man who fucked you the way you needed it, and you needed to cum on his cock.

Thankfully, Bucky seemed to want the same thing. 

“Cum for me, baby,” he growled in your ear, his hips slamming his cock into your body hard enough to nearly hurt, but the pain-edged pleasure only pushed you closer to your release. “Cum on daddy’s cock while he’s choking your pretty little neck and fucking you like the filthy slut you are.”

Bucky’s words and his cock, and your fingers on your clit, sent you over the edge, your eyes rolling into the back of your head and a ragged scream tearing free from your lips. Pleasure consumed you, body and mind alike, until all you knew was the sensation of ecstasy drowning out everything else. 

It went on for one long, endless moment, pleasure pulsing through your being until it finally abated. Then, the world began to reform around you. Slowly, you returned to yourself, Bucky’s cock still driving into you, his thrusts turning wild and desperate as he growled in your ear.

“Fuck, you feel good, baby,” he was rumbling, rutting into you while your pussy squeezed him in a perfect clenching rhythm. “Feels like your cunt’s begging for my cum. Is that it? Ya want my cum that fucking bad, baby?”

“Yesss,” you moaned, your limbs melting beneath him as you savored the feeling of Bucky chasing his release in your body. “Want your cum, daddy, please gimme it,” you whimpered, weakly pushing your hips into his big body in a wordless plea.

Bucky grunted a soft, “Fuck,” and then pressed deep, burying his cock to the hilt in your still pulsing cunt as he came. He let out a long groan, his cock twitching against your inner walls while he emptied his balls into your pussy, the warmth of his cum filling you up.

It felt so good, your lips curled at the edges in a happy smile. Every part of you felt warm and satisfied, and you basked in the unmatched afterglow that came in the wake of getting fucked by Bucky Barnes.

When he was finally spent, Bucky eased his hips back, pulling out of you gently so he didn’t hurt your thoroughly used pussy. You appreciated the effort, even if you did feel a pang in your gut at the loss of him, like your body was mourning his absence.

Bucky rolled off you and flopped onto his back, leaving you limp and sated. 

And cold. 

The man who’d just fucked you better than anyone else ever had made no move to pull your naked body into his, but that wasn’t surprising. Bucky wasn’t the type to initiate post-sex snuggling, though he didn’t stop you from cuddling into him if you initiated it.

Gathering your strength, you heaved your body toward Bucky, draping yourself on top of him, wrapping an arm over his stomach and hitching your thigh over his hip. Your cooling skin pressed to his heated body as you tucked your face into his neck, cooing happily when his arm curled around your shoulders, holding you against his side.

But a post-sex snuggle wasn’t the only thing you’d been looking for. 

Your mouth found the side of Bucky’s neck, your lips working against his skin, kissing and sucking and biting him while he rumbled soft sounds of satisfied pleasure. You didn’t stop until you’d left a hickey, but when you pulled away to get a look at it, you decided it wasn’t enough. 

After all, you were literally covered in his marks. 

So you went back to work, sucking on the hickey until the bruise was so big, there’d be no hiding it—not unless Bucky suddenly started wearing turtlenecks. Somehow, you knew he wouldn’t. You knew he’d wear your hickey proudly, even if it meant he might not get laid until it faded.

When you were finally satisfied with your work, you brushed one last kiss to the hickey, and settled down at Bucky’s side. Your cheek pressed to his chest and you listened to his heart thumping a steady drumbeat beneath his pecs. 

For a moment, you were both quiet, enjoying the feel of each other. Then Bucky fished his phone out of the pocket of his discarded sweatpants, which he’d kicked off at some point. He held the device aloft over the two of you, tilting his head to the side and using the front-facing camera to look at the mark you’d left.

“I guess I deserve this,” he commented, trailing his fingers over the gigantic hickey. There was no anger or annoyance in his tone, though, only amusement. He skimmed his fingers down to your shoulder and gently rearranged your arm until the marks he’d left on the sides of your tits were visible. “Now we’re even.” 

A snickering smile curved your mouth and you were about to retort that you weren’t anywhere close to even, but the soft click of Bucky’s phone snapping a photo cut you off. 

Reaching up, you tapped the screen to show the picture and you had to admit, it was pretty cute. The hickey on Bucky’s neck was prominent and he wore a cocky grin on his attractive face while you smirked into his chest, his marks dotting your skin even though you weren’t revealing too much of your breasts. 

It was the kind of photo you’d consider setting as your phone’s background if Bucky was your boyfriend. 

He wasn’t, but that didn’t mean you didn’t still want it.

“Send that to me,” you said, trying to keep your tone light.

But Bucky must’ve heard how much you wanted the picture, because he chuckled evilly, pulling the phone out of your reach. When you lifted your head to glare at him, there was a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. 

“If I send this to you, you gotta promise not to let John mark you up again.”

That time, you let him see you roll your eyes while you reminded him, “Only boyfriends get to make demands like that, Bucky.”

Huffing a frustrated sigh and giving you a half-hearted glare, Bucky tapped the screen of his phone a couple times. A second later, your phone buzzed with a text and when you glanced at it, you saw he’d sent you the photo of the two of you. 

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I just don’t ever wanna see his fucking marks on your body again.” 

You nodded your agreement, saying, “That’s fair.” It was the least you could do, all things considered.

Bucky laughed to himself at your easy agreement, then pushed you onto your back and spread your thighs while he sat up on his knees between your legs. “Now, smile pretty for daddy, baby. I wanna take some photos of all the hard work I did marking you up.”

A pleased grin pulled across your face. As much as you enjoyed taking pictures and sending them to Bucky, you loved it even more when he wanted to take pictures of you himself. So you laid on the bed and let Bucky position you how he wanted so he could take photos of his handiwork. 

“You gonna jerk off to these when you get home, daddy?” you taunted, staring up at Bucky and smiling for his camera. “Gonna rub your cock to pictures of your marks all over me?”

Bucky’s eyes flashed and his cock twitched between his thick thighs, making your smirk widen. You knew you were provoking him again, but you couldn’t seem to stop.

“You gonna make yourself cum looking at photos of me covered in your marks, daddy?” 

Your teasing comments led to you laying helplessly beneath Bucky, his knees keeping your thighs spread wide so you couldn’t grind against anything while he jerked himself off with his fist. The only thing he allowed you to do was knead and grope your tits, your pleasure mixing with aching pain from the bruises covering your skin. 

Bucky came like that, his cum covering your fingers and chest in ropes of his seed, marking you all over again.

He took even more photos of the sight of your hands playing with your cum-covered tits, then fucked your pussy with his fingers, sounding very pleased with himself when he teased you for getting off on him making a mess of your slutty body and pushing his cum deeper inside you. 

It was late when Bucky finally left your apartment, and you realized you’d been right. It had been a very long night. But even though you knew you’d only get a couple hours of sleep before work, it had been so worth it to text Bucky that photo of your tits covered in another man’s marks.

Over the next few days, Bucky demanded an endless stream of photos of the bruises he’d left on your tits and ass. He was busy at the office and the two of you couldn’t find time to see each other, but he didn’t want to miss any of the progression of the marks he’d left as the hickeys deepened into a dark plum color on your skin. 

It turned you on to send so many photos, to see the constant reminder of the marks he’d left on your body, so you indulged Bucky every time he asked for more photos. It helped that he responded with a mixture of sweet degradation and filthy praise that had your heart beating harder in your chest and wetness gathering between your thighs. 

Every night for a week, you got yourself off to the dirty things Bucky texted you, the promises of what he was going to do to your body the next time he saw you. But more than anything else, you kept going back to the possessive text message he’d sent the day after he’d been to your apartment, rubbing your clit to Bucky’s words. 

Don’t you dare show John fucking Walker your tits with my marks on them, baby. Those marks on your body are all fucking mine, and they’re only for you and me.

you ain't my boyfriend and i ain't your girlfriend series masterlist

[sstan-hoe]

(how) to hunt a hunter - sergei kravinoff x fem!reader

Summary: Kraven the Hunter was a myth equal to the Boogeyman. So the prestigious offer to hunt the legendary hunter sounded insane yet like a blast. Who were you as a Black Widow to say ‘no’ to that?

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: blood, violence, sexual tension, language, consumption of alcohol

Author’s note: Don’t judge me for inserting another Black Widow character again. 🤣 I thought it’d be fun to not go the typical route of Sergei hunting you, but you hunting him. Seriously, what is up with this trope, guys? I’m getting out of my hiatus which is rough and I want to just create something fun and not like a full-blown series. I apologize, I’m better with witty dialogue than fighting scenes, I’m terribly sorry. 😅

If you followed my we all have our secrets series, there’s a character who gets a slightly more prominent role in this one-shot than the mere mention. You know, I’m getting Morbius vibes from the trailer, but I guess it’s going be fun? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Read me on AO3

You wiped the damp layer off the mirror and winced at what you saw.

Your battered reflection was staring back at you. You shook your head and even that movement of your wet hair stroking the side of your neck irritated the scrapes and bruises even further.

Needing to breathe through the pain, you exhaled through your mouth, leaning forward on your elbows against the edges of the wash basin. 

Wrath was burning in your eyes when you glared at your reflection. The broken blood vessel of your eye was a sore reminder of the absolute failure of a mission.

Weiterlesen

[sstan-hoe]

Midnight Chemistry

Pairing: dbf!/cowboy Joel Miller X fem!Reader | W/C: ~6.5K | Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Summary: You fuck your dad's best friend on a camping trip with him asleep in the other room.

A/N: Well babes, I once again find myself trapped in the hole of dbf! / cowboy Joel. Sorry I've been mia lately. I have been espresso depresso lately, and writing has been difficult. This helped. I hope you all enjoy it.x

Warnings: POV-Switching. Tension. Flirting/Teasing. Age gap but not mentioned (make it your own). Pet names. Camping. Chair Sex. Sex with a parent in the other room. Forbidden lovers. Some fighting/sexual accusations. Drinking. Guilty feelings. The smut is pretty straightforward, just a passionate fuck without a lot of fanfare. Creampie. TLOU au. No use of Y/N. No use of daddy. Reader has female sex anatomy and has slight implied feminine descriptors. Let me know if I missed anything! Masterlist | Notifications | Read on AO3

JOEL

Nothing good happens after midnight. 

He’d heard it his whole life, and he’d believed it. Why wouldn’t he? Every bar fight, every reckless choice, every memory drowned in half-truths and fog always seemed to come alive after twelve.

And here you are in his orbit, confirming it all. 

It’s like you’re eating up all of the air around him, eyes locked on his with something he can’t quite name—a hunger, a challenge, maybe even a warning. 

You smile, pulling him closer. 

Oh yeah, none of what’s happening right now is good, not in the traditional sense, anyway. Good men wouldn’t even entertain this, whatever the fuck this is. 

A good man would veer his gaze. 

A good man would tell you to go to bed. 

A good man wouldn’t have let you get this far. 

Much like what happens after midnight, he’s not so sure he’s good, either, but fuck it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. 

YOU

“Come on, sweet pea. It’ll be just like old times,” your dad coaxes, with that look in his eyes that you swear only dads can pull off.

You sigh, dragging out the sound for maximum effect, but he’s not buying it. It’s not that you’re against camping, per se. It’s the timing. You’re buried under a mountain of work, and the idea of stepping away—just to battle November mosquitoes clinging to life in the woods—isn’t exactly screaming relaxing weekend getaway.

“Hey, we can make s’mores. For old time’s sake.” He grins, tugging on that nostalgic heartstring he knows you have.

You roll your eyes but feel your resolve start to slip. He knows it, too. The man has a sixth sense for it. Left to yourself, you’d probably spend the evening sipping wine, convincing yourself that going would be nice, that you should go. But your dad doesn’t even give you the chance. He pulls out the big guns—the line that always gets you.

“You know, your mom and I… we used to love camping. She would’ve loved…” He trails off, leaving the words unfinished, their weight lingering in the room.

You close your eyes, take a deep breath, and before you’re ready for them, the words tumble out of your mouth. “Fine, Dad. I’ll go. But if you’re expecting me to kill anything, you’re out of your mind.”

His face lights up, and he claps you on the shoulder. “You sure? You were a pretty good shot back in the day.”

Your stomach twists. All these years later, and the memory still makes your skin crawl. You’re not a vegan or even a vegetarian—you’re just not about to take something’s life yourself. “I’m sure. I’ll go, but I’m not going hunting. I’ll make the s’mores, I’ll play the card games, and I’ll even cook up whatever you happen to kill. But I’m not… I’m just not doing that.”

“Deal, sweetie,” he says, his grin returning as he gives your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll leave Saturday at 6 a.m. sharp. Try not to be late, yeah? I’ll let Joel know you’re coming along.”

Wait—6 a.m.? And… Joel? Joel?

Your mind screeches to a halt. This is not what you agreed to. Campfire s’mores and father-daughter bonding? Sure. Throwing Joel into the mix? Not exactly in your plan.

You want to protest, to blurt out a thousand excuses and maybe even bail entirely. But you don’t. You just nod, though that funny, fuzzy feeling is creeping into your stomach. The thought of spending a weekend in the woods with Joel… and your dad… leaves your mind spinning.

What could possibly go wrong?

++++

The late afternoon sun catches the black cowboy hat Joel’s wearing, pulled low enough to cast a shadow over his face. The silver threaded through his beard glints in the light, making him look older and annoyingly good in a way that feels unfair. 

His Wranglers, worn and faded, fit just right, and his white shirt is crisp but rolled up at the sleeves, showing off his tanned forearms. It’s cold out, but he doesn’t seem to care. His boots scuff against the gravel as he leans back, one hand resting on his hip, the other steady on the gas pump.

“Your hair’s longer,” Joel says, his voice easy, low enough to carry over the soft hum of the pump. His shoulders shift as he turns toward you, his shirt stretching over them in a way that feels borderline illegal. His whole posture is casual, like he’s completely comfortable with himself.

You’ve managed to ignore him the whole drive, keeping your eyes glued to the passing scenery and answering his small talk with vague nods or single syllables. But now, there’s no avoiding him, not with the way he’s watching you, his hat tipped back just enough to reveal the razor edge of his jaw.

“Uh, yeah, I cut it since the last time I saw you,” you mutter, running a hand through your hair like that’s not the most awkward response ever. Bella Swan much?

“Looks good,” he says, his gaze dropping to the pump as if he’s letting you off the hook. “You look… lawyer-y.”

“Lawyer-y?” you scoff, crossing your arms. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

Joel smirks, slow and infuriating. “Depends. You takin’ it as one?”

You’re halfway through thinking up a comeback when your dad bursts out of the gas station, waving a bag of snacks over his head like he’s just hit the jackpot. “Got the goods!” he hollers, grinning from ear to ear.

You laugh despite yourself as he jogs over and drops the bag onto the truck’s hood. “Almost ready,” he says, rubbing at his wrist with a grimace. “Joel, mind taking over? My carpal tunnel’s acting up.”

Joel just nods, all effortless and understated, and slides into the driver’s seat. In seconds, you’re back on the road. The hum of the truck fills the silence, but you can’t stop noticing Joel—one hand on the wheel, the other draped casually on the passenger seat as he glances over his shoulder to back up. His gaze flicks to you for half a second, and then—of course—he winks.

It’s not the first time. He’s always been a winker, like it’s just part of who he is. Usually, it’s harmless, even kind of charming. But this time? This time it feels different. There’s something else to it, something that leaves your stomach flipping and your mind wandering places it really shouldn’t.

This weekend’s going to be long, and you already know it. You tell yourself to let it go, to focus on something else, but a tiny, traitorous voice in your head wonders just how long Joel might be in other ways.

You shut that thought down fast, dragging your focus to the road ahead. Get a grip, for fucks sake. Your efforts to try and convince yourself that you aren’t into Joel, you’re just horny, fail miserably. 

++++

“Alright, I think this is a good spot for the night. Joel, can you help me pop out the sides?” your dad asks, already moving toward the camper.

“Yeah, sure,” Joel says, his voice easy, warm like the sunset spilling over the campsite.

“I’ll get started on the campfire,” you blurt too quickly, the words tumbling out as you scramble for a task that puts some space between you and Joel. Anything to escape the pull of those chocolate-brown eyes that seem to find yours a little too often.

You grab the logs with more force than necessary, tossing them onto the firepit like it’s a personal vendetta. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you mutter under your breath with each thud. The sharp cracks and snaps of the fire feel like it’s mocking you, every ember rising in the dark like it’s carrying your secrets skyward.

It’s ridiculous, you tell yourself. Sure, maybe you’d had a crush on him when you were younger—who wouldn’t? Joel Miller, with his broad shoulders, arms like tree trunks, and that rough-edged charm, had no business looking like that in front of impressionable teenage girls. It was practically criminal. And now? Now it was just plain infuriating. No man his age had any right to still be this... magnetic.

You shake the thought off with a huff, stacking the last log and striking a match. It was ages ago. You’re an adult now. You have a real job, real friends, real responsibilities.

You jab the fire with a stick, coaxing the flames higher, like punishing the wood might burn the thought out of your mind. You’re too grown for this. Joel Miller is your dad’s best friend. Off-limits. End of story.

By the time you sit down, PB&J in hand—the kind your dad always makes on camping trips—the fire is crackling high, warming the cool night air. Joel and your dad drop into their chairs across from you, their voices low as they reminisce about old trips and laugh over some forgotten mishap. You focus on your sandwich, chewing methodically, trying not to let the rich baritone of Joel’s laughter stir something you’d rather ignore.

And then Joel looks at you.

It’s not much—just a glance, a soft smile as the firelight flickers over his face, but it’s enough to make your pulse stutter. “You did a good job with the fire,” he says, his voice gentle, easy, but there’s something in it. A thread of admiration. Maybe even... praise.

The words hit harder than they should, settling square in your chest and unraveling something you’d worked so hard to keep stitched up. “Thanks,” you murmur, focusing on the flames and hoping the fire’s glow hides the warmth creeping into your cheeks.

Joel’s eyes linger on you a second too long before he turns back to your dad, diving into another story, but you’re already lost. The tension hums in the air, in you, in the spaces between his words. It’s like the fire’s not just crackling but buzzing, alive with something unspoken, something you’re not sure you’re ready to name.

++++

"Well, I’m more stuffed than a Thanksgiving turkey," your dad says, patting his belly with a grin that always makes you roll your eyes—but secretly, you love it. Not that you’d ever let him know; you don’t need a never-ending stream of bird jokes in your life.

“I should probably turn in,” he adds, draining the last of his Coors with a practiced ease before crushing the can in his hand. “Make sure that fire’s out completely, alright? Don’t need any tickets,” he grumbles, heading toward the camper. His heavy steps creak up the stairs, and the screen door slams shut behind him, leaving you and Joel alone by the fire.

The quiet settles in immediately; the only sounds the crackle of the dying fire and the faint rustle of wind in the trees. Joel leans back in his chair, his beer dangling casually from one hand, his face softened by the flickering firelight. You catch his gaze across the flames, and for a moment, it feels like there’s something unspoken hanging in the air.

“So, your dad tells me you’ve been pretty successful—” Joel starts, but he doesn’t get to finish.

A group of guys strolls into the circle of light, beers in hand, all wearing denim jackets like they’re auditioning for some rugged outdoorsman catalog. One of them, blonde and overly confident, steps forward with a wide grin.

“Don’t mind us,” he says, voice smooth as he gestures toward the fire. “We just couldn’t resist the smell of whatever you’ve been cooking over here. Smells too good to pass up.” His eyes land squarely on you when he says “good,” his grin turning into something sly.

“Must be another campsite,” Joel cuts in before you can answer, his tone calm but edged with something sharp. “Just beers for us.” He takes another sip of his beer—lifting the can with slow precision, his eyes locked on the guy over the rim—like he’s daring him to keep going.

The blonde doesn’t miss a beat, smirking as he tips his PBR toward you. “Well, maybe you’d like to come have a drink with us instead, sweetheart?” he says, tilting his head toward their campsite. “We’re just over there playing beer pong. No pressure, though.”

Joel’s scoff is low and quick, barely audible over the fire. His hand tightens around his beer can, quiet tension radiating off him. Without looking at you, he clears his throat and stands, brushing dirt off his jeans.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he mutters, his voice cool, almost detached.

Your stomach twists as he turns on his heel, heading toward the camper without a glance back. “Night, kiddo,” he tosses over his shoulder, the nickname sharp and slightly bitter.

Kiddo? Really? Your jaw tightens as you watch him walk away, his boots crunching over the pine needles. He knows damn well you’re not a kid, but he’s made his choice clear. Frustration flares in your chest, mingling with something sharper—something you’d probably rather not admit you know you feel.

And maybe that’s why you do it. Maybe that’s why you turn back to Mr. Denim-on-Denim, meeting his cocky grin with one of your own, smile bright. “Beer pong, huh?” you say, letting your voice dip just enough to carry. “Sounds fun.”

Joel’s boots hesitate for half a beat, just long enough for you to notice. And even though he doesn’t turn around, you know he’s listening.

++++

The slam of the screen door echoes through the quiet camper as you step inside, cursing under your breath at how impossible it is to sneak in silently. The steps creaked, the latch stuck—every sound you made felt amplified in the thick stillness of the forest. You stop just inside, exhaling as you prepare to tiptoe to your makeshift bed on one of the side bunks.

But then, the low rumble of a throat clearing freezes you in your tracks.

“Have fun while you were out there?” Joel’s voice cuts through the darkness, low and rough, like a storm rolling in. You glance toward the faint green glow of the stove clock, your eyes adjusting to the shadows enough to make out his silhouette. He’s sitting back in a chair, one leg stretched out, the other bent, his posture deceptively casual. 

Your heart thuds in your chest as you pull the oversized Carhartt jacket tighter around you. His jacket. The one he draped over your shoulders earlier tonight without a word when he caught you shivering, your puffer no match for the chill of the Colorado air. You hadn’t been able to escape the scent of him all night—sawdust, peppermint, and that faint trace of smoke he could never quite shake even though he quit a year ago.

“I didn’t realize I needed a chaperone,” you reply, keeping your voice even, though you can feel the heat rising in your chest.

“You don’t,” Joel says, his tone clipped, his jaw tight as he leans forward slightly, elbows on his knees. “But I don’t think they were exactly looking out for your best interests.”

The implication in his words stirs something sharp inside you. “Oh, so now you’re worried about what’s best for me?” you shoot back, stepping closer, your boots clicking softly against the linoleum. “That’s rich, Joel.”

His head tilts, his eyes narrowing slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” you say, voice firm as you close the distance between you, “that you don’t get to play the protective card when you’re the one sending mixed signals all night.”

His brow furrows, his gaze holding yours, unflinching. “Mixed signals?” he repeats, the roughness in his voice softening, but the tension is still there, coiled tight beneath the surface.

You take another step closer, close enough now to see the flicker of something raw in his eyes—anger, frustration, and something else you can’t quite name. Your fingers brush against the edge of the jacket draped around you, a reminder of how his presence had lingered even when you were trying to distract yourself with someone else.

“Did you fuck him?”

The question falls from Joel’s lips like a hammer, hitting the air between you with a weight that makes your breath catch. His voice is low but rising, edged with a tension that’s almost suffocating. You blink at him, stunned, the words reverberating in the small space of the camper.

“Joel,” you whisper, your voice sharp but quiet as you glance toward the thin wall separating you from your dad. “Keep your voice down.”

He doesn’t move, his jaw tight and his eyes burning into yours. “Did. You. Fuck. Him?” he repeats, slower this time, but no less intense. 

You take a step back, your arms folding across your chest defensively. “Are you serious right now? Do you even hear yourself?” you hiss, keeping your voice low, though it’s laced with incredulity. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Joel leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands clasped tightly as if he’s trying to hold himself together. “What’s wrong with me?” he mutters, his voice still low but brimming with frustration. “What’s wrong is the thought of him touching you, being with you—it’s been in my goddamn head all night.”

You feel the heat rising in your cheeks, part from anger, part from the sheer intensity of his words. “You don’t get to ask me that. You don’t get to be this way when you’re the one who’s kept this…” You gesture vaguely between the two of you. “Whatever this is, in limbo.”

Joel’s eyes narrow, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before returning to you. “You think I don’t want this? You think I don’t feel this?” His voice cracks slightly, the words raw and unfiltered as he rises to stand. “I’m trying to keep this from blowing up, trying to do the right thing—for him, for you—but you…” He trails off, running a hand through his hair.

“Then don’t accuse me of something you don’t even have the right to ask about,” you snap, your voice trembling slightly despite your effort to keep it steady. “You don’t get to claim me, Joel. Not like this.”

His gaze drops to your lips for a brief moment before he looks away, exhaling sharply, his shoulders slumping as if the fight has drained out of him.

“I’m sorry,” he says finally, his voice softer now, almost resigned. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Damn right you shouldn’t have,” you cut in, though your tone lacks the sharpness it had before. 

His hands flex at his sides, his jaw clenching as he looks away, as if searching for the right words. But when his gaze snaps back to yours, there’s no hesitation. “You don’t see it, do you?” he murmurs, his fingers brushing your arms, his gaze locked on yours. “You’re everything. And any guy with a pulse would be a fool not to want you.”

Your breath hitches as his words sink in, striking something deep inside you that you’ve kept locked away for too long. Slowly, your hands reach up, brushing against the rough stubble of his jaw, tilting his face toward yours. “Even you?” you whisper.

Joel doesn’t answer—not with words, anyway. His hands move to your waist, his grip firm, grounding, but he doesn’t pull you closer. He doesn’t have to. His hesitation lingers for just a second too long, and that’s all the permission you need.

You push him back firmly, your palms flat against his chest, sending him sprawling into the chair behind him. His eyes widen slightly, surprised, but he doesn’t stop you. His hands instinctively find your hips as you step forward, sliding one leg over his and straddling him.

For a moment, the world narrows to just the two of you, the heat radiating off his body and the way his gaze locks onto yours, dark and hungry. You grab his face, your fingers threading into the scruff of his beard, and then your lips are on his, fierce and demanding.

The kiss is a collision of fire and frustration, years of restraint finally snapping like a brittle string. His hands grip your hips tighter, anchoring you against him as your body presses flush to his. He groans low in his throat, the sound vibrating against your lips, and it’s enough to make your pulse race faster.

You pull back just enough to catch your breath, your forehead resting against his. His chest rises and falls against yours, his eyes searching your face like he’s still trying to figure out how this happened—or if it’s even real.

But you’re done second-guessing. You’re done fighting the pull. You tilt your hips against him, testing the waters, and the way his breath hitches, sharp and unsteady, tells you everything you need to know.

JOEL

He isn’t sure which heartbeat demands his attention first—the one pounding in his chest, the one ringing in his ears from your words, or the one throbbing lower, urging him forward. But like any race, there’s always a clear winner, and as his hands tighten around your hips, his choice becomes undeniable. He’s done pretending, done trying to act like he doesn’t want this as much as he does.

He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, a low, guttural groan escaping his throat, because the weight of you on top of him like this is almost too much. It’s torture—sweet, unbearable, and wholly consuming. What makes it worse—or maybe better—is the way you seem to know exactly what you’re doing to him. The maddening curve of your lips says it all: you’re enjoying this. Enjoying him unraveling beneath you.

He swallows hard, trying to keep some semblance of control, but the slow roll of your hips against his is enough to push him dangerously close to the edge. It’s intentional, a tease, and a dead giveaway that you know exactly how he feels—how much he wants you—and that you’re about to take him for all he’s worth.

And fuck if he isn’t ready to let you.

But then, the weight of reality crashes down like a bucket of ice water. The camper is too quiet, save for the faint creaks of the old chair beneath you and the soft rustling of fabric as your movements shift against each other. It’s too close, too confined, and just across the narrow hall, your dad is fast asleep.

Or at least, Joel hopes he is.

The thought freezes him for a split second, the guilt clawing its way back to the surface. This is wrong. He knows it’s wrong. Your dad is his best friend—his closest confidant for nearly thirty years—and here he is, letting that sacred bond dissolve into heat and desperation in a single heartbeat.

He doesn’t move to stop you, though. He should, but he can’t. Not when you lean closer, your breath warm against his ear, and whisper, “Do you like what you feel?”

His hands tighten on your hips, his fingertips pressing into your skin like he’s trying to anchor himself, to remind himself that this is real—and that it shouldn’t be happening.

“I think you know the answer to that,” he rasps, his voice rough and thick with want. He’s trying, God, he’s trying to hold on to some shred of control, but the way you’re moving, the way your body fits against his—it’s breaking him. He knows your dad is just feet away, separated by a flimsy door and thin walls, but the tension between you is louder than logic.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmurs, his words barely more than a breath. “Your dad—” His voice catches, his gaze flicking to the door across the hall, like he expects it to fly open at any moment. “He’s right there.”

“I know,” you reply. Your hands trail up his chest, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. “But do you want me to stop?”

Joel’s resolve wavers, cracking under the weight of your words and the hunger in your eyes. “You don’t know what you’re asking,” he says, his voice low, almost pleading. But even as he says it, his hands slide beneath your shirt, his fingers brushing against the bare skin of your waist, as if he’s trying to memorize the feel of you. “If he finds out…”

“He won’t,” you whisper, leaning in until your lips are just a breath away from his. “Unless you make me loud.”

And shit, you’re filthy. A pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be this sexy; it’s kind of intimidating. He groans, a deep, guttural sound that’s part frustration, part surrender, and pulls you closer, his lips crashing into yours with a desperation that feels like it’s been building for years. His hands grip your hips, holding you tight as if to keep you from slipping away, even though you’re right there, pressing against him with just as much fire.

The weight of the moment presses down on him—what this means, how easily it could all unravel if even one sound gives you away. But for now, all he can do is drown in your heat, every kiss, every touch.

"Fuck, baby. Pants off, now," Joel growls, his voice rough and edged with need. The demand sends a thrill racing down your spine, and you can’t help but smirk, satisfied by how easily you’ve unraveled him.

You rise slowly, your hands moving to the button of your jeans as you step back just enough to give him a good view. You shimmy the denim down your legs, kicking them off one foot at a time, your eyes never leaving his.

Joel watches you like he’s starving, his gaze dark and focused, a storm brewing behind it. His hands move to his belt, undoing the buckle with a practiced ease. The faint metallic clink of the buckle is followed by the soft sound of his zipper, and then he shifts in the chair, pushing his jeans halfway down his hips.

Your eyes drop, and your pulse kicks up at the sight of him, hard and thick, his cock curving against his stomach. The dim light of the camper catches on his skin, the glisten of precum beading at the top of him, and the sight sends a fresh wave of heat coursing through your body.

Joel leans back slightly, his legs spreading just enough to make room for you, one hand braced on the armrest of the chair while the other wraps loosely around himself, stroking once up his length. His lips curl into a smirk that matches yours, and his voice is low, almost a growl.

"Now come back here, darlin'," Joel murmurs, his voice rough and thick with desire. His hand wraps around himself at the base, holding himself steady and straight. "Show me just how bad you want it."

YOU

Your breath catches at the sight, heat pooling low in your belly as you step closer. You don’t rush, letting him feel the weight of your gaze, letting him see exactly how much you want him. The camper feels smaller, the air heavier, and the faint creaks of the old chair beneath him only seem to amplify the tension between you. The thin walls, the quiet rustle from the next room where your dad sleeps, only add to the heady mix of adrenaline and desire coursing through your veins.

You straddle him again, your bare legs brushing against the rough denim of his jeans, your hands sliding up his chest. The warmth of his skin radiates through his t-shirt, and his breath stutters when your nails rake lightly down his torso, leaving a faint trail of fire in their wake. His free hand moves to your waist, gripping firmly, his thumb brushing slow circles against your hip bone.

“Like this?” you tease, your voice low, sultry, as you roll your hips against him, feeling the hard heat of him pressing against you, igniting a delicious ache in your core. The friction pulls a sharp inhale from him, his grip on your waist tightening as though holding onto his last shred of control. Each slow movement chips away at his restraint, leaving only raw hunger in its wake.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Joel groans, his head falling back for a moment, exposing the strong line of his throat. The sight of him like this—vulnerable, undone, and utterly yours—sends a surge of confidence through you, emboldening you to take more, to push further.

You lean in, your lips brushing against his ear, your voice a whisper. “Good.”

His reaction is immediate, primal. His hand slides from your waist to the back of your neck, pulling you into a kiss that’s all teeth and tongue, fierce and desperate. His stubble is rough against your skin, his lips hot and insistent, and the way he devours you sends sparks shooting down your spine. You lift your hips slightly, just enough to feel him notched at your entrance, the anticipation stealing your breath.

When he thrusts up into you, it’s all at once—hot, hard, and unrelenting. A broken gasp escapes your lips as he fills you, stretching you, splitting you open in a way that’s almost too much and yet exactly what you need.

His hand returns to your hips, gripping with bruising intensity, guiding you against him as he sets a punishing rhythm like he’s trying to bury himself deeper with every movement. The chair creaks beneath you, a harsh reminder of how precarious this moment is, how easy it would be for it all to come crashing down.

The thought of being caught—of your dad just a door away, oblivious—makes it all the more intoxicating. Every thrust, every sharp inhale, feels like defiance, like daring the universe to stop you.

“Fuck, baby,” Joel rasps against your lips, his voice raw and trembling. “You’re gonna ruin me.”

You pull back just enough to look into his eyes, your hands sliding up to cradle his face, your thumbs brushing the rough edges of his jaw. His gaze is dark and heavy, filled with something that feels like surrender. “Then let me,” you murmur, your voice low, indecent, dripping with the weight of everything you feel.

The way you say it, the way your body moves against his, has him breaking apart beneath you, every ounce of resistance shattering. And you don’t care. Not about the consequences, not about the wrongness of it all. All you know is the way you feel wrapped around him, the way he fills you completely, and how nothing else in the world has ever felt so right.

Joel’s hands tighten on your hips as you move, his grip firm enough to leave imprints. You lean forward, your lips brushing against his jaw as he groans low in his throat, his head tipping back just enough to give you access to the sensitive skin beneath his stubble. You let your tongue flick over the pulse point there, your teeth grazing lightly.

“Jesus, darlin’,” he mutters, his voice thick, strained, every word trembling with barely contained restraint. “You don’t know what you’re doin’ to me.”

You pull back, your lips curving into a wicked smile, your hips rolling against his with an agonizing slowness. “I think I do,” you reply, your voice dripping with confidence, daring him to deny it.

Joel’s hands move, one sliding up your back, pressing you closer to him, while the other trails lower, his fingers digging into the curve of your ass as he guides your movements. The friction between you is dizzying, every shift of your body drawing a new groan from his lips, a new wave of heat pooling low in your belly. You’re close.

The faint murmur of your dad stirring in the room across the hall sends a jolt of adrenaline through you, the danger of being caught making everything feel sharper, more electrified. Joel’s eyes flick toward the door for the briefest moment before snapping back to you, dark and full of something primal. His jaw tightens, his breath hitches, and his fingers dig into you harder.

“You hear that?” he whispers, his voice low and gravelly, like a secret meant just for you. “He’s right there. You keep movin’ like that, and he’s gonna know.”

The words should stop you, should make you pull away, but instead, they send a rush of heat through you, your body responding with an involuntary shudder. “Then maybe you should stop me,” you murmur, leaning in so your lips brush against his, the challenge clear in your voice.

Joel groans, deep and guttural, his hands tightening their hold on you as he presses his forehead against yours. “You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mutters again, but there’s no conviction in the words—only unfiltered desire.

You tilt your hips, taking him deeper, and his response is immediate—a sharp inhale, his body tensing beneath you as his control slips even further. His lips find yours again, his kiss desperate and hungry, as though he’s trying to drown out every reason this shouldn’t be happening. The rhythm between you grows frantic, your bodies moving in perfect, reckless harmony.

Every thrust, every gasp, every whispered curse is a challenge to the thin walls, to the line you’ve already crossed. And with each passing second, the tension builds, coiling tighter and tighter until it feels like the whole world might shatter if you stop.

“You gonna come on my cock, sweetheart?” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your ear, his hands gripping your hips as though anchoring you to him. “Show me how pretty you are when you come for me.”

The words hit you like a lightning strike, sending a rush of heat through your body. You can feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter, your body trembling as the rhythm of his thrusts drives you closer to the edge. Every thrust, each growled word, pulls you deeper into the haze of desire, until all you can feel, all you can think about, is him. 

“Joel—” you gasp, your voice breaking as your hands clutch at his shoulders, your nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. You’re teetering on the brink, every nerve in your body alight, every sensation magnified.

“That’s it,” he rasps, his voice thick with want, his gaze locked on yours. His thumb finds your clit, circling it with just enough pressure to send you tumbling over the edge. “Let go for me, darlin’. Let me see you.”

The coil snaps, your body arching against his as the wave crashes over you, your orgasm ripping through you with a force that leaves you breathless. His name falls from your lips in a broken cry, your hips stuttering against his as pleasure floods your veins. Joel doesn’t stop, his hands steadying you, his movements slower now, deliberate, as though drawing out every second of your release.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Joel murmurs, his voice low and reverent as he watches you fall apart in his lap. His hands roam your body, grounding you, holding you steady as you come down, your breaths ragged and uneven, your heart pounding against his chest.

You bury your face in his neck, your body still trembling from the aftershocks, and his arms wrap around you like a cocoon, pulling you closer. His lips press softly against your temple, a quiet comfort in the passion you’ve just shared. For a moment, it feels like time has stopped, the two of you frozen in the intimacy of the moment.

But then his hips buck beneath you, the motion pulling a sharp gasp from your lips. The low, guttural rumble that escapes his chest vibrates against your skin, and you realize he’s right on the edge, holding on by a thread.

“Fuck, baby’,” he groans, his voice rough and strained, his hands gripping your hips tighter, guiding you to move again. His breath is hot against your ear, his words tumbling out in a desperate whisper. “I’m so close. You feel so damn good.”

You tilt your hips, rolling against him, and the sharp inhale he takes sends another thrill through you. His movements grow erratic, his restraint slipping with each thrust as he chases his release. His head falls back, his jaw tight, his hands digging into your flesh like he’s trying to hold himself together, but you both know he’s about to let go. 

“Want you to come inside me, Joel,” you say, making it clear it’s not a question.

“Goddamn,” he mutters, his voice breaking as his hips snap up one last time, his release hitting him like a tidal wave. His grip on you tightens as he groans, deep and guttural, his body shuddering beneath you. You feel him pulsing inside you, the heat of his release spreading as he collapses back into the chair, his breaths ragged and uneven.

A cough from the room across the hall breaks the silence, snapping you both back to reality. The thin walls feel even thinner now, and the weight of what just happened settles in the air between you. For a moment, you hesitate, but then you tug your jeans back on, not even caring about the mess on your thighs.

Joel silently adjusts himself, his belt clinking faintly as he fastens it. Neither of you speaks, the charged quiet holding the moment in place, too fragile to break with words. His eyes follow you as you move.

You step toward him, your heart still racing, and lean down to press a kiss to his cheek. His stubble is rough against your lips, and the faint way his breath hitches sends a small thrill through you.

“See you in the morning, Cowboy,” you whisper, your voice soft and sweet, like it’s the easiest thing in the world to say.

His hand brushes lightly against your arm as you pull back, a touch so brief it’s barely there, but enough to make your pulse jump again. He nods, his gaze lingering as you slip toward your bed, your legs still unsteady beneath you.

As you settle under the blanket, your heart refusing to slow and your body still humming with the aftermath of him, you hear the faint creak of his chair as he shifts. You don’t need to look to know he’s still there, watching, caught in the same storm you are.

JOEL

Fuck.

END

A/N Continued: To my darling moots that I have left on read lately, I'm sorry. I love you guys, I just haven't had a lot of emotional or mental bandwidth to be a good conversationalist. I miss you all and will try to be better.x

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