#the second brother; i found out he existed in july

[fingertipsmp3]

What is going onnnn

[youngsadlesbian]

baby's first gay panic (part 2)

Summary: You start enjoying going to the hospital again and it doesn't take long for your mothers to find out why.

Pairing: Carina DeLuca x Maya Bishop x daughter!reader

Warnings: Kinda angst but then fluff in the end, Maya being stupid and the most doting mother in the world <3

Word count: 1300

a/n: @sad-x3 asked me for a part 2 of this and here it is. I don't know if I followed the path she wanted, but that's okay. Hope you like it! English is not my first language so I’m sorry for any mistakes, guys.

You loved spending time with your Aunt Amelia at the hospital because she always found a way to let you watch some surgery she was doing, because you were her favorite niece and she did everything you asked.

But there were no surgeries today. Amelia was in the emergency room treating several patients who appeared to be suffering from the same severe headache. Bored and also having a bad headache from the flu, you sat on the floor of the infirmary while putting on your headphones to listen to Taylor Swift. You didn't notice the presence of a teenage girl behind you until she was tapped on the shoulder.

"Do you like Taylor Swift?" That was Nurse Hernandez's daughter who was at the hospital every day after she got out of school. You had seen her there several times during your life.

"Yes, I'm listening to Evermore." You walked away so the girl sat next to you. "What can we say that..."

"He's Folklore's brother." She smiled. And what a smile. "My name is Elena. You are the daughter of Doctor DeLuca and Captain Bishop, right?"

"Yes, but most people just call me Y/n." Elena rolled her eyes. "Want to listen to the album with me?"

"Of course."

You spent hours on end listening to all of Taylor Swift's albums, and when your phone died, you simply talked about anything that came to mind. You discovered that Elena was a really nice girl and you had a similar vibe, which made you automatically enjoy her company. When your aunt looked for you hours later, she caught you laughing like there was no tomorrow with Elena and was almost sorry to end the moment between you.

"Y/n/n, your mom is already going home." You waved goodbye to Elena and went after your mother with Amelia.

It didn't go unnoticed by Carina that you seemed happier and more excited since the morning, she made a mental note to mention this to her wife later. Normally you talked a lot in the car, but this time you were so busy with your phone that it blinked every second with a new notification that she preferred not to interrupt.

You fell asleep right after taking your medicine, which really made you sleepy, but not before practically begging your mother to take you to the hospital again.

Teenagers really were very weird.

At some point you got over your crush on Julie because it was replaced by a huge crush on Elena. You two had become great friends, talking practically all day through messages about anything. It was with you that Elena shared that she had finally had her first kiss.

You were very grumpy after this information, but she made some joke and changed the subject when she noticed your discomfort.

Every possible opportunity to stay at home you used to go to the hospital. At this point, your mother Carina already knew about Elena's existence and thought your friendship with the girl was cute.

Maya hated it. She felt that there was something more between you two and to her you were still a baby. And of course, she was right.

You didn't have a completely platonic relationship. At least not since you decided to admit that you liked her more than just a friend and she confessed that she felt something more too. You never kissed or anything like that out of pure insecurity, but that was about to change.

Heavy rain in Seattle caused part of your school's roof to collapse, leaving all students home for three days until the repairs were finally completed.

Your mother was having surgery that would take a few hours, so you decided to take shelter with Elena in her office. You don't remember exactly what turn your conversation took and made you and Elena start kissing. Much less did you remember when your mothers entered the office and caught you in a compromising position.

"I told you, Carina!" Your mother Maya screamed. You distanced yourself as much as possible from Elena, wiping your face stained by her red lipstick. "There was no way this was platonic."

"Bella, we'll deal with this later. Elena, your mother is looking for you to go home." You ran to Elena and shook her hand before she finally left. That only seemed to increase Maya's anger, scaring you so that you cowered even more on the floor.

Carina approached you and touched your head.

"Bambina, look at me."

"Mamma Maya è arrabbiata con me." You had a habit of speaking Italian when you were nervous. Maya felt her heart tighten with regret for once again letting her anger get the best of her.

"Let me deal with Mamma Maya, ok bambina?" You shook your head and looked at your mother. Your eyes were teary and there were still traces of lipstick on your face. "There's the most beautiful girl in the world. Is Elena your girlfriend?"

"No, mamma. But I really wanted this."

"You're not old enough to date, Y/n DeLuca-Bishop!" Maya shouted. "You need to focus on your studies and nothing else."

"Bella, leave me alone with her." Carina gave her best I think you'd better obey me look when Maya resisted her request. The firefighter left the office in a huff. "Don't listen to what your mother said. If you're happy, I'm happy. Now let's go home."

You didn't talk to any of your mothers the whole way, even though Carina tried to start a conversation. Maya was so angry and you were so afraid that she would freak out and send you to the other side of the world just to get away from Elena that it hurt deeply.

Dinner was also eaten in silence and with you trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Carina wanted to hit Maya hard when she noticed this.

You retired early saying you needed to finish some homework. Only then did Carina let all her frustration out.

"Your daughter needs your support, you idiot!" Carina frantically hit Maya on the shoulder, who tried to free herself from her wife without success. "Sei incredibile, Maya Bishop!"

"I know I overreacted..."

"Overreacted? You were terrible. I think you better fix this before it gets worse."

That's what Maya did. Before knocking on your bedroom door she heard you sniffle and felt like the worst mother in the world.

Maya took a deep breath and knocked twice on your door.

"Y/n/n, it's mom." Maya heard the sound of some things falling before you finally responded.

"Go away."

Then you cried. You cried because you felt like you let your mother down and you felt like she didn't love you anymore and mainly because you were afraid of her forcing you to stay away from Elena.

"I'm sorry, honey. I was too extreme. I'm still learning, you know?" You opened the door a crack and she saw one of your brown eyes staring deeply at her. "I'm still learning how to be a good mother and sometimes I feel like I'm not."

"You are, mom. You're good at so many things but you're the best as being my mom. I was just scared that I let you down."

"You would never be capable of that, little bee. Even if you committed a crime I still think it would be impossible to disappoint me." You opened the door and your mother saw how wrecked you were. Hair standing on end and face swollen from crying. "Come here and hug mommy, please?"

You hugged her and then everything was fine. Because Maya really was bad at a lot of things and hard-headed about pretty much everything, but she was the best mother you could ask for.

[blogger360ncislarules]

Talk about a 21st-century miracle. The faith-based series has converted a mass of impassioned viewers to rival any Yellowstone or The Walking Dead fanbase — without marquee stars or aggressive marketing. We’re of course talking about The Chosen, the first multi-season series to depict the life and ministry of Jesus of Nazareth (played by Jonathan Roumie) and his most fervent followers. The show’s first three seasons have been available for free via theChosen app and the Angel Studios website, as well as on streamers like Netflix and Prime Video, but you can now watch the series’ broadcast debut on The CW as it airs 24 divine weekly episodes from Sunday, July 16, through Christmas Eve.

“Over 100 million people have seen at least one episode,” creator Dallas Jenkins tells us after a busy day shooting a Season 4 episode in Goshen, Utah. (The series also films outside Dallas.) But he’s grateful for the boost of being on network television, noting that it helps the show “cross the chasm into audiences that have heard about it but haven’t known where to watch it.”

Elizabeth Tabish in The Chosen

The tale of how The Chosen came into existence is nearly as compelling as the greatest story ever told. “It was born out of failure,” Jenkins says with a laugh. After a feature film he directed didn’t do well, he dusted off a short film script about Christ’s birth from the perspective of the shepherds. The video went viral and, though Jenkins didn’t love the idea of crowdfunding to make a series, he had nothing to lose. At the end of the video, he gave viewers the opportunity to invest (not donate, he specifies), “and over 16,000 people around the world invested over $10 million for [what became] Season 1.” From there, he adds, “the word of mouth went crazy.”

The Chosen begins in 1st century Galilee with adult Jesus and introduces familiar Bible figures like the compassionate Mary Magdalene (Elizabeth Tabish), unsure tax collector Matthew (Paras Patel) and bold fishermen brothers Simon Peter (Shahar Isaac) and Andrew (Noah James), depicting how they become the Son of God’s loyal followers. In the first episode, for example, a distraught Mary Magdelene, using the name Lilith, fights personal demons and contemplates ending her life until she meets Jesus, who somehow knows her real name. “I was one way and now I am completely different,” she calmly tells curious religious leader Nicodemus (Erick Avari) in the second episode (July 23). “And the thing that happened in between was Him.”

In adapting stories like that, Jenkins knew merely retelling Scripture wouldn’t give it the “uniquely timely” perspective he was hoping to achieve so that it “doesn’t feel like a stiff melodrama. It feels like actual humanity.” He found inspiration not in other religious productions, but in long-running contemporary dramas that created an intimacy between characters and viewers over many episodes. (Seven seasons are planned for The Chosen.) “I’m not only a lover of the Bible, but I’m also a lover of television,” Jenkins notes. “I’m watching Succession at the same time that I’m writing the show. I’m watching Friday Night Lights, This Is Us. You look at these shows and you realize the time they take to build these characterizations, that’s their secret sauce. They don’t rush it.”

Filling the pivotal role of Jesus was thankfully not a problem — Roumie had worked with Jenkins before in shorts done for his church. But strapping on the sandals is a big responsibility. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around playing Jesus,” the actor admits. “There’s so much depth and layers and mystery to him.” But Jenkins has faith, noting that “casting Jonathan was the easiest decision in the world.”

[cloudcountry]

Aaaaa and I don’t mind your responses to my long writings!! /gen I’m just happy that you’re reading them in the first place kdjfgkdffg— But please give your hands a rest-

Speaking of Ikevamp OCs!! Admittedly, I don’t know much about Freud, Salieri or Chaloner (from the other reblog posts), so I decided to look into them if I have the time >:D I MIGHT give a history lesson about them later--

I’ve also tried to make a comprehensible list of characteristics/things we’ve already got about Beethoven (who *cough* is already like,, half an OC if you squint-) And I’ve added some things of my own. As of right now, his Ikevamp self:

-Is headstrong, strong-willed, and proud

-Is impulsive, independent, and has a short temper

-Is a Grumpy Old Man™ with Grandpa Tendencies™ /aff

-Has a sharp tongue for insults and comebacks

-Values honesty, integrity, and virtue. He hates liars

-Really respects Mozart and hates Napoleon (lol-)

-Not afraid to speak his opinion, so if he doesn’t like you, you WILL know-

-Likes macaroni-and-cheese. I won’t elaborate. /J

-Loves walks in the forest and nature in general! He enjoys taking hikes, it’s a hobby of his :D During these walks, he’s able to clear his head and be inspired by the beauty of nature. He takes a walk around, even if the weather is bad. There was a time where he circled around in a park for hours, humming and composing in his head in pouring rain…

-If he ever were in the game, maybe he would be partially deaf?? Or at least have some hearing problems to pay homage to the real figure—

-Is pretty short,, He’s 5’3/162cm, so he’s grumpy AND short. The best combination /j /lh

-Doesn’t care about status. He was well-received by the Viennese aristocracy but he wasn’t subservient to them; rather, he regarded them as equals. So, he doesn’t see anyone above him or beneath him.

-His family is a touchy subject. For one, his father was an alcoholic, and he tried to exploit Ludwig as a child prodigy, wanted to make him the next Mozart. His father, also a professional singer, was a harsh teacher, "Every time Ludwig hit a sour note, his father's hands came crashing down on his son's with a loud, discordant thwack,” one writer states. He actually had eight siblings and was the second oldest, but only he and two younger brothers made it to adulthood. He deeply cares for his brothers, even though he didn’t approve of their wives- He and his sister-in-law Johanna Reiss hated each other, and he didn’t like his youngest brother’s mistress who would later marry him.)

-Is unlucky in love (Yes, sadly for the real Beethoven, he was pretty unfortunate in terms of romance- Beethoven first fell in love with a young countess named Julie [“Giulietta”] Guicciardi in 1801, but could not marry her because he was a commoner. His famous Piano Sonata No. 14, “Moonlight,” is dedicated to her. A few years later he met and fell in love with Josephine Brunswick, another countess, after he began giving her piano lessons. They would write a series of love letters, of which 15 by Beethoven survive, until her family pressured them to terminate the relationship. He was a hopeless romantic and fell in love many times, who in turn, got rejected each time. Though, it was mainly because of class divisions and marital statuses. He never married.)

I actually read the love letters he sent, and to my surprise, they’re,,, incredibly romantic?! Like legit, love letters are very private things to read in the first place, but even when I was reading his letters, I was like “Should I really be reading these…?” Asdfghjkl— His most famous love letter is the one called “The Immortal Beloved.”

I’m gonna give you some extracts from these love letters that I found really sweet- I hope you don’t mind!!

“My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved I can only live wholly with you or not at all-

Be calm my life, my all. Only by calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together… Oh, do continue to love me, never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours.

-L.”

“Beat only in silence, oh poor heart, you cannot do otherwise. For you, always for you, only you, eternally you, only you until I die. My solace, my everything. Oh Creator, watch over her, bless her days, all the adversity upon me first.”

“My angel, my very self… Why this profound sorrow, when necessity speaks — can our love endure without sacrifices, without our demanding everything from one another; can you alter the fact that you are not wholly mine, that I am not wholly yours? — Dear God, look at Nature in all her beauty and set your heart at rest about what must be — Love demands all, and rightly so… No doubt we shall meet soon; and today also time fails me to tell you of the thoughts which during these last few days I have been revolving about my life — If our hearts were always closely united, I would certainly entertain no such thoughts. My heart overflows with a longing to tell you so many things — Oh — there are moments when I find that speech is quite inadequate — Be cheerful — and be for ever my faithful, my only sweetheart, my all, as I am yours. The gods must send us everything else, whatever must and shall be our fate. 

—Your faithful Ludwig”

“What a life!!! As it is now!!! without you — pursued by the kindness of people here and there, a kindness that I think — that I wish to deserve just as little as I deserve it — man’s homage to man — that pains me — and when I consider myself in the setting of the universe, what am I and what is that man — whom one calls the greatest of men — and yet — on the other hand therein lies the divine element in man… However much you love me — my love for you is even greater — but never conceal yourself from me — good night — Dear God — so near! so far! Is not our love truly founded in Heaven — and, what is more, as strongly cemented in the firmament of heaven?”

“Even when I am in bed my thoughts rush to you, my immortal beloved, now and then joyfully, then again sadly, waiting to know whether Fate will hear our prayer — To face life I must live altogether with you or never see you… Oh God, why must one be separated from her who is so dear. Yet my life in V[ienna] at present is a miserable life — Your love has made me both the happiest and unhappiest of mortals…”

So, he’s a grump, but he’s actually really romantic in nature,,, A romantic grump if you will

Oh, on another note!! I tried to make a Picrew for a concept appearance, and I actually kinda like what I came up with! The Picrew’s really close to what I had in mind, but maybe I might try to draw him someday??

https://i.postimg.cc/G3xgBVsN/241783-5r-TPl-J0n.png (I’m really hoping the link works, kjdfngd-)

And a quick description of what I had in mind for his appearance!!

-He’s short, but his aura, appearance and demeanour make him give off the vibe that he’s taller

-Wavy middle-length to long length darkish-brown hair he keeps in a low ponytail

-He wears a red jacket! Admittedly, while the colour is a tie-in to the red of the German flag, I feel like it makes him stand out more,, He dresses up very modestly

-Piercing blue eyes framed by round glasses (Ngl, I debated giving him half-moon glasses, but I went with round ones-)

-Overall, he looks pretty stern and intimidating

Jackdaw Anon 🐦

AHSGFD OFC IM READING THEM!!!! I READ EVERYTHING I GET IN MY ASKBOS WHAHAWH IM JUST HAPPY TUMBLR ISNT EATING TEHSE ESSAYS OR STOPPING EM FROM POSTING THEM ^^

I WOULD BE SO HERE FOR THOSE LESSONS AAAAA!!!!! BUT PLEASE REST YOUR HANDS TOO <33 (even though mine have issues whwahwahwah)

BEETHOVEN BEINGA ROMANTIC IS SUCH A SHOCK TO ME??? YOURE SO RIGHT AS I WAS READING THE LOVE LETTERS I WAS LIEK "um...shoudl i be here." LIKE IT FEELS SO PRIVATE GAHHH ITS LIKE HIS GHOST IS JUDGING ME RN

JSAGHFD YOU LITERALLY SUSMMED HIM UP SO WELL YOURE A WIZARD JACKDAW ANON I LITERALLY DONT KNOW HO WYOU DO IT ?>????

[lewis-winters]

Day 8: Graceful

part of my OC-tober 2022 (that's prolly going to bleed into 2023)! I took so long writing this prompt. I wrote three separate ones and hated all of them. This is the one I hated the least, so it's the one I'm going to post. I'm not happy with it tho 🫠🫠🫠

tw: period typical queer/transphobia

[AN EXCERPT FROM “BAND OF BROTHERS AND ONE SISTER: A QUEER HISTORY OF EASY COMPANY” BY ADAM NEWMANN

A THESIS SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF HISTORY]

The following is an essay found amongst the private papers of David Kenyon Webster, posthumously annotated and collated by his partner Joseph D. Liebgott during the years 1983 -1990, before being gifted to Arthur Benjamin Foster in June 1992 whereupon it was kept in his private collection until the day of his death in July 29, 2018.

xxx

I do believe I was the first to figure out.

Not about Foster, of course. That honor falls to one Eugene Roe, I think. I haven’t properly confirmed it, but who else would it have been? There isn’t a world in all of vast existence that I can manage to conjure where the company’s best combat medic would turn his back on another soldier in need. Unfamiliar am I in physiology dissimilar to my own[1], even I can tell that binding one’s chest for as long as Foster had been doing (while going through the same number of maneuvers for the same amount of time as the rest of us) is a health hazard Doc Roe would never allow amongst the men under his care. Not to mention dealing with monthlies[2], a feat already so difficult to go through, much less successfully hide on one’s own. In so far as I’ve known him, I could never pinpoint a time in which Foster had looked ill on account of breathlessness or dreaded muscle cramps. Either he was very good at hiding it—which I do not totally discount (out of all of us, Foster had always been one very comfortable with pain), but I might also venture to claim that Foster’s continued proper use of his lungs is a direct result of Doc Roe’s (and, additionally, Ralph Spina’s) nagging care. I doubt Foster would have made it through the war in one piece without it.

Though, I must admit, I might not have been the first to figure Arthur Benjamin Foster out, I very much could have been one of the first to figure him out, having been blindsided one night in the showers of our Aldbourne base camp; sure I had been alone to have another go at cleaning up after that afternoon’s accumulation of grime and sweat and completely unaware that the next thirty minutes would yield an enlightening argument from the two stooges that had decided bickering about Foster’s status as a, and I quote; “man with a bit missing[3], and two bits tacked on,”  was best done in the middle of the night in a shared shower located in the middle of a base camp, filled with soldiers trained to report any sign of queerness to higher-ups for extermination via blue-ticket.

In hindsight, I’m not entirely sure how I managed to keep as quiet as I had been that night, huddled in the stall in the far end of the row, terrified of discovery[4] just as Morse had been, so adamant was she that Foster be more mindful of the locks whenever he’d chanced a place to change.[5]

But I digress.[6]

Christmas in Aldbourne had been an odd affair—I chalk it up to the atmosphere our impending “great task” put us in. Contrary to popular belief, most of us were very aware that it could have been our very last happy celebration. There wasn’t much in terms of presents, food, or booze, but there was much laughter and cheer, most of which had been heralded by an amateur production of Romeo and Juliet some members of second platoon had put together under the direction of closet thespian Captain Nixon, then Lt. Nixon. Or at least, the first portion of it had done its job beautifully, with the image of clumsy, rough soldiers taking on the delicate poetry of the Bard’s works. I surely laughed some[7].

But perhaps the core of the subject matter of the play had been too somber for an audience with death constantly in the back of their minds. I remember distinctly how the end of the production brought in an oppressive hush over the audience. Our Romeo and Juliet were far too convincing, and by the end of it, in that awkward time between festivities and dinner, things had gotten a bit more solemn and quiet. The finality of death, even in the fictional sense, hadn’t been lost on us, and in an attempt to raise spirits, Nixon decided to secretly pass around his own, generously taking a bottle or two from his seemingly never-ending stash of the VAT 69 to share. I had been on my second helping of it (snuck to me by one Joe Liebgott, the gesture confusing me in the moment, but in hindsight was one of the first instants of recognition between the both of us, I think[8]) when I’d noticed that our unfortunate Juliet had yet to change out of her dress.

Morse had been our Juliet. Why, I’m not sure, though I always thought it was due to the relationship Nixon had with her. An almost brotherly one, with all its quiet concern disguised by teasing (that at times might have gone too far), but was often excused due to the undercurrent of tenderness that each stabbing jibe carried. Opposite her, he’d somehow managed to convince our resident rake Sgt. Talbert to take on the role of Romeo. It had all been a joke at their expense, no doubt. The reasons for the joke differ depending on who you ask, but for myself I knew Nixon had zeroed in on whatever budding, hot-and-cold relationship that had been brewing between them since the troop ship (or, if I’m not mistaken, since Pvt. Diedrich’s tragic death during the practice jumps in Toccoa)[9]. A rather cruel move, I had thought, especially toward her; though I was still too ambivalent toward Morse to bother saying anything.

Or perhaps ambivalent is not the right word.

I was apathetic. I didn’t know her—partly due to my own lack of trying, but aided, too, by her own reticence. She certainly never made it easy to know her in those first few months, and why would she? when everything about her until that very moment had been a lie? Though not the only one of us who was lying at this point, her silence on the matter of her identity was a result of a different kind of hiding. While some of us hid beneath cloaks of wool, sweltering beneath from the heat, sweating because of the promise of the sure ridicule and death, she had no cloak. All she had was an ill-fitting, sharp and painful skin, not her own and hurting her, with every step she took. I could never imagine that, the pain of looking in a mirror and being unable to recognize the entity staring back at you. No wonder she’d been the way she had, often hunched over, trying to make herself as small as possible in order to avoid as many eyes as possible. When you spoke to her, she was never fully present. Not in an absent-minded, manner, no. But in a carefully curated way. Like an impersonal room meant to appeal to everyone’s surface level of taste. Or one of those unremarkable hotel paintings, meant to be nothing more than to be a pretty image to look over. Even when she’d brought out the charm in those rare moments she deigned it necessary to smile at local girls in those little pubs we would find ourselves at, she was only ever able to achieve an approximation of a person. One that would last only a night with whatever pretty girl would fall for her charms, and then disappear in the morning, like some apparition.

Morse was a ghost, for me and for everyone else.

But in that dress, she’d transformed.

It should have struck me then and there, but I was too blown away by her sudden appearance, this human emerging from her cocoon, fully realized. In this cloth of cheap, emerald green and dirty white chiffon, crafted masterfully by Foster himself to fit and flatter her better than any commercial dress might—or any one-time-use, amateur theatre costume had any right to be—she was more than just a character on stage, or an actor of it. Nothing about her seemed out of place in that moment, despite it being all wrong theoretically. The comedy of it should have been derived from the mismatch of a man in a dress, but there was all rightness in her, then. A complete picture.

What happened then, reader, was what I could only describe to be a moment of True Recognition. It was then that I realized—looking at it in hindsight, I want to smack myself for such obliviousness. Truly, I say to you, it should have struck me earlier. The second she’d appeared on stage, in fact. The minute that secondary curtain had pulled back and she smiled, blooming beneath the lights like a flower to the sun—no one had laughed. They should have laughed. But none did. Not even when she’d simply sat, silent and lovely, smiling slightly with a hint of girlish excitement, like a blushing, young Juliet would have been in the face of a party being thrown solely for her. Nor when she’d gracefully recited half that sonnet, the words curling from her lips like tender leaves reaching out, out, out toward the surface to feel the sun. Not even when she lay, dying, her last breath a condemnation of hate, a celebration of love. There was no comedy to be found anywhere. There was no mismatch, and everyone could sense it. We were looking at a fully realized person.

She was just a girl in a dress.

It was lightning splitting through me, then. Striking me from between my eyes and pooling in searing heat just below my sternum, until it settled like molten metal in my stomach. Inexplicably, I ran through several emotions all at once. Elation, happiness, joy—I shudder to think of the faces I must have pulled in so little a time.[10] Then, recognition. Then, dread. Fear. A deep, deep sadness that made me turn away from her and back to thoughts that had brought us there, half-drunk and half-hysterical, reveling in the last moments of true freedom we knew we were ever going to get. Some, for a long time. Others, for the last.

All I could think was: God, let her live. If You had any grace left in this graceless world that allows war and famine and pain, spare some that she may live. So she can escape and go somewhere where she can wear dresses like these every day. Where she can live as she is, and not as what the military wants her to be. Where she can be more than government property, set up for slaughter and a tombstone that will do no justice to the inner life she currently lives.

And if she were to die, if this was going to be her last happy moment in a world of dark uncertainty, then I wished she had the chance to die in that dress. Be buried in it, as the person she really was, rather than the man everybody else saw her as. I didn’t want her to return to her uniform. To that cocoon that I knew, even without her insight, hurt her more than anything else did. She was meant for more. Butterfly wings.

I couldn’t stand it.

So, I left.

… This reads like a confession, Joe. Maybe it is. I have half the mind to send this to her. But what good will it do? She’s not going to stop running. I don’t even know where she is.

xxx

Though the nature of the piece, at first glance, is that of a personal diary entry, the researcher believes that it had been drafted earlier in Webster’s creative writing career and was intended as a practice piece or a personal essay. An assumption based on the last paragraph, keeping in mind how often it was said by those who knew them that Liebgott was often Webster’s sounding board for his writings. However, due to the subject matter, the heaviness of which seemed to have caught Webster off guard, the piece was derailed from its original purpose and thus kept instead of fixed up and published or, at the very least, circulated amongst their closest confidants within their Easy Company circle, as was his wont at the time.

Furthermore, unlike his own personal diary entries and his published articles dated in the latter years of his life, throughout this piece, Webster appears to be speaking to an audience separate from himself, through the vehicle of “reader” or, often, a singular “you.” Additionally, unlike his published articles, fellow Easy Company soldier, Natalie Morse is explicitly referred to as female in this piece, as opposed to only hinted at as female through specific choices in metaphor that establish a feminine-coded motif on her literary presence (i.e., always comparing her metaphorically to female figures, such as a sister or a mother and referring to her movements and physicality with gendered language skewing largely feminine), a literary style Webster often favors in his public works. His own respectful way of depicting Morse as he knew her while simultaneously avoiding outing her amongst unforgiving society at the time.

Despite the exact date of this piece being pure speculation at best, it is a widely shared belief amongst the Queer History community that this is the first ever attempt at capturing the existence of Natalie Morse as a transgender woman, pre-dating People Like Us, the written memoirs of Arthur Benjamin Foster, published in 2017 but which was written in the late 2000s.

Webster’s stylistic choices in referring to Morse in both this article and his published ones, as well as his blatant support of her, supplements the claims that most (if not all) Easy Company soldiers knew of the existence of not just Foster, but of Morse too, as transgender individuals, as well as their ready acceptance of them in a time when queerness was seen as a threat to be reported and eradicated within and between military men.

[1] That’s an understatement

[2] If Arthur had ever thought to kill us in this time, I would have let him, poor guy was suffering through enough

[3] I prefer when Able calls it a lack of inches

[4] You were always an eavesdropper, but not on purpose—or that’s what you claimed. Just always in the right place in the right time, my David

[5] If you were a Toccoa man, you knew about Foster; him and Morse weren’t quite as sneaky as they thought they were [RESEARCHER’S NOTE: In his memoirs People Like Us, Foster mentions how Liebgott was one of the few Easy soldiers who was in the dark about Foster’s existence as a transgender man. Webster later supplements this in a diary entry, where he mentions Liebgott’s rather comical reaction to finding out. This researcher is of the belief that this annotation was either an attempt at saving face or a case of memory failing Liebgott in later years.]

[6] Rambling, Web

[7] Pretentious bastard

[8] Hate to break it to you, buddy, but Hoob set that up. I think he was hoping to knock you out early and get you to bed so he could fuck around without having to worry about you passing out in some bar and missing curfew. Again. “Recognition” happened earlier. I’ll tell you next time.

[9] How the fuck do you know that? I never knew that! [RESEARCHER’S NOTE: It is often anecdotally mentioned by Easy Company men that while a notorious gossip, Liebgott was often times oblivious. In People Like Us, Foster often talks about how Liebgott would ask Webster for gossip he may have accidentally picked up.]

[10] Like a fish out of water, with your mouth half open and gasping for air

[revivemyreverie]

I posted 472 times in 2022

That's 216 more posts than 2021!

235 posts created (50%)

237 posts reblogged (50%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@calderadorm

@the27th

@piraticusdorm

@twst-vampire

@witchinghouracademy

I tagged 458 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#twst oc - 240 posts

#twisted wonderland - 165 posts

#twisted wonderland oc - 148 posts

#ask game! - 135 posts

#calderadorm - 35 posts

#kendrick hellhaven - 31 posts

#twisted wonderland fandorm - 31 posts

#andreas hellhaven - 24 posts

#rosecrux - 21 posts

#aldrich edelweiss - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 65 characters

#the hair💐❤️‍🔥💖💐❤️‍🔥💖💖💐💖❤️‍🔥💐❤️‍🔥💖❤️‍🔥💖💐❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

“My savior just might exist..! I just need to find them through all these witches.”

Twisted from: Prince Florian (Snow White)

Aldrich Edelweiss

オルドリッチ・エーデルバイス

CV: Shouta Aoi (蒼井 翔太)

Technical info.

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual

Birthday: 04/27

Age: 19

Height: 5’7

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Black

Hand Pref.: Left

Homeland: Edelweiss Empire

College Info.

Year: 2

Class: 2A Set 3

Club: Track and Field

Favorite Subject: Biology

Other.

Hobby: Hunting

Likes: Camellias

Dislikes: Witches; Goblins

Favorite Food: Chocolate

Hated Food: Apples

Specialty: Acting

One Song: Can mimic the voice of another for exactly 3 minutes and 25 seconds

To Kill a Witch is to become a Prince

Having been born heir to a kingdom obsessed with order, Aldrich found life to be stressful and depressive. He began to attend church in order to find a savior in his life, and instead found comfort in a kind girl who worked in the Church’s choir. She saved him from a life of suffering, and Aldrich soon fell in love. But when the found out she would be engaged to his younger brother, Valentine, Aldrich felt like the world was going to crash in on him. He cut off contact with her, calling her a heretic and witch. The prince said he would never see her again, and it appears he kept to his word.

See the full post

124 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

#4

Hiding something?

129 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

Past delinquent meets past delinquent…

145 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#2

I walked with you once upon a dream

I know you

That look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.

————

“Whew~, what’s with you and that Vanrouge guy? You can’t even meet him in the eyes, ahahaha!”

“… My opinion of Vanrouge is none of your business, Brennen.”

162 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“I don’t care how many takes we need or if this is wasting time! Just admit you can’t perform at my level and get off my stage!”

Twisted from: Erik, the Phantom of the Opera

Lucero Symphomia

ルーチェロー・シムフォミア

CV: Yoshitsugu Matsuoka (松岡 禎丞)

Technical Info.

Other Names: Luce, Monsieur Ange de la Musique (Mr. Angel of Music), Blobfish

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual

Birthday: 01/08

Age: 19

Height: 174 cm (5’8)

Eye color: Dual; Green and Blue

Hair Color: Rose Brown

Hand Pref. Ambidextrous

Homeland: Monolith Village

College Info.

School Year: 3rd

Class: 3-A Seat 29

Club: Film Studies

Occupation: Student, Countertenor

Other.

Hobby: Singing

Likes: Opera

Dislikes: Being treated unfairly

Favorite Food: Chicken Pot Pie

Least Favorite Food: Fried foods

Talents: Vocal Coaching

UM: Music of the Night

Using only his voice, Lucero can enchant those around him into following his every command. He prefers to not use this skill, as it requires him to sing the entire time.

See the full post

200 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[musingsofmyown]

I posted 7,664 times in 2022

That's 7,664 more posts than 2021!

636 posts created (8%)

7,028 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@britsgovernmentmh

@loki-lock

@tjlcarchives

@december-rains

@helloliriels

I tagged 5,713 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#bbc sherlock - 336 posts

#sherlock holmes - 318 posts

#john watson - 301 posts

#johnlock - 215 posts

#yes - 157 posts

#mystrade - 142 posts

#mycroft holmes - 140 posts

#greg lestrade - 116 posts

#sherlock - 103 posts

#sherlock fanart - 87 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i get so obnoxious and i've had someone say ''i never hear you talk and i love that you're finally talking. but please take it down a notch

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

'Emergency meeting: Landing Pub 7:45 tonight. Leave Sherlock at the flat'

  "Oh boy-"

  "Text from Lestrade? Is it a case?"

  John handed his phone to Sherlock,"No but he used correct punctuation, grammar and capitalisation. He's serious."

  "Why can't I go?"

  "I don't know-" He took the device back,"Guess I'll find out later tonight?"

______

At the pub-

______

  "Hey Greg, is everything alright mate?"

  They shook hands,"I just really, really need to talk to someone about this and you're quite possibly the only one who can understand my situation."

  "This calls for the strong stuff," He flagged the barkeep down,"Two fingers of whiskey neat for me and three for him on the rocks." 

See the full post

202 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

#4

I've had a wonderful idea for a crack fic:

Sherlock breaks into Mycroft's house with John. Reason: they have a case question that needs to be answered and Mycroft isn't answering his phone or email.

They make their way to Mycrofts room, flipping the light on and Sherlock yelling,"Brother! Good morning!" it is, in fact, 4:10 in the morning.

Instead of just Mycroft sitting up and glaring at Sherlock, but Lestrade also sits up and they both look like caught teenagers.

John looks at Greg,"Mate, we need to go out for a pint and you better spill everything am I clear?" He was just as surprised as Sherlock, who was now frozen in his tracks,"I'm taking him home to recover, Mycroft answer your bloody phone."

chaos ensues

224 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

#3

Genuine

  "Sherlock," John locked eyes with the detective,"you are bloody gorgeous."

  A very prominent blush crept up the other's neck,"I-I erm…"

  "And adorable, look at that,"He leaned forward and smiled. John knew for a fact that he was one of the few people who existed that could actually catch him off guard, and by god this had to be the best way to get those gears in the detective’s head to stop.

  Sherlock broke eye contact and tapped nervously on the table,"You're getting too direct with your flirting."

  "So you've noticed?"

  He nodded and looked around the room, still refusing to look at John,"So- uh, what,” Sherlock cleared his throat, the telltale signs of embarrassment peeking through,”what brought this up?"

  "It's just been eating me up for a bit,"He propped his head up on his hands,"And I'd… I’d like to kiss you."

  Those few words caused Sherlock's entire system to malfunction, a small sound of shock barely escaped his lips. For a moment, John found it rather endearing that his friend was an actual blushing virgin, but as soon as the spell broke, he wondered what the consultant's response would be,"Me..?"

  "Yes, you."

See the full post

242 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#2

What if- and hear me out on this one- John and Sherlock knew each other from school, but met again years later when Mike Stamford introduced them?

And the moment John entered the room he goes "Sherlock? Sherlock Holmes is that you?"

Hearing his name called by the familiar voice, he looks up,"Oh! John-" he takes a second to do his little deduction thing,"Afghanistan or Iraq?"

"Bloody hell you still do the thing after all these years,"He goes to hug Sherlock, which he kindly takes,"and it was Afghanistan, you git."

"Thank you for finding a flatmate, Mike, I think we'll get along splendid."

As the two start reconnecting, Lestrade comes to the flat to give Sherlock a case- but he's both delighted and confused as to why the typically isolated consultant was laughing, with another person in the room. It was a real laugh too, not like the fake ones he's heard the brunet use when talking to suspects/wittnesses.

He knocks on the door and Sherlock opens it, smile still on his face,"Ah, Lestrade, case?"

"Ya, erm, who's your friend,"He grinned and looked to the blond man sitting in the armchair across from Sherlock's

"Oh," he let the DI in,"Lestrade, this is John, John Watson."

John stands to shake his hands,"Sherlock told me about you, and how he's working with the police on the tougher cases. I'm impressed by how much progress he's made since I last saw him."

"You two... know each other?" Greg, baffled by the connection.

"We're old friends-"

"Ex-partners actually,"John corrected, making a slight blush creep up the taller man's neck and cheeks.

"Lestrade! Case, please-"

"Right,"He chuckles.

Oh this would be an amazing fic-

I think I should write this one sometime

363 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Rupert Graves as Greg Lestrade is arguably the best choice of cast next to Benedict and Martin

fight me

he's perfect

437 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[achitka]

Doors (Chapter 26) Into the woods

Chapter 25: Into the Woods

Summary:

Things get a bit tricky from here...hoping I don't lose track of anyone

-----------------

As Pepa sat Bruno down the rats with him scurried forward. Two from behind his hair, and the two in his shirt pocket. They squeaked furiously at Pepa, and she drew back, but was not put off. Bruno said, “They’re just hungry,” he went to get up but was stopped when he noticed what Julieta had in her hand. The small cloth covered bundle likely had some food for the rats.

“I was going to give this to you at supper,” she said giving him that look she used on her kids when they were being irresponsible.

“Thanks, Juli,” Bruno said a bit sheepishly.

“Oh, can I feed them Tío?” Luisa asked. Bruno nodded so Julieta handed the food to her, and she smiled as she moved closer. She collected the four who were with him and went to the wall of cubbies where the rest of Bruno’s friends were waiting. She was going to be an awesome vet.

“Okay, no more stalling,” Pepa said leaning back in, “Spill it hermanito.” As much as being called little brother used to irritate him, Bruno discovered it was something he actually missed. Not that he’d never let Pepa know that, but he smiled as Julieta said, “Hermanita, personal space.”

Someone snickered in the background and Pepa shot Juli a look. The small cloud that appeared winked in and out of existence in the space of a few seconds and Bruno had to admit he was very impressed. It put a smile over his dour expression that he’d been hanging on to in hopes of getting his family to leave. Pepa patted his head and was actually smiling as she moved away from him to stand next to the chair Félix was sitting in. Again, Bruno was taken aback by how different everything was. The fact that his mother had not said a word was also something he was not used to. She usually always had something to say on everything. She was there on the sofa with Mirabel who was listening wide-eyed to whatever his mother was whispering about. Bruno decided he didn’t want to know but as he watched them, she turned to him and asked, “So Bruno, just tell us. Does that door lead to the Church of St. Agustín in Bogotá?”

Everyone and everything went silent, including the rats as Bruno cleared his throat and said trying his hardest to sound conversational and not too excited, “Yes. It is a beautiful Church by the way, stayed for afternoon Mass.” From there Bruno recounted his adventures. From his walk through the plaza shops, to his conversations with Pedro the appliance salesman. The radio, he saved for the very last. It garnered a lot of attention when he pulled it out and turned it on. The crackle of the white noise elicited several ooos and aaahs. Julieta frowned when he told her that he’d traded her bottle for it. He wanted to feel bad about it but was so pleased with the device he found he could not muster a proper level of guilt to be sorry.

“What’s done is done,” she said and asked, “Was it at least empty?”

“Yes, I mean he was actually more interested in glass…said his wife collects such things.”

“Odd,” Pepa said, and a tiny cloud formed over her.

“Said the lady with the cloud,” Bruno quipped and Pepa threw a pillow from the sofa at him. It bounced off his head and he picked it up, pulling at the fringe along the border. One more detail to tell them. “There is one other thing…my Gift was active outside the Encanto.”

Uproar ensued and Dolores immediately shouted for quiet. Bruno liked that his sobrina was doing more than just covering her ears when people got too loud around her. She’d not only stepped out of Isa’s shadow she was casting one. After a round of apologies, there were discussions regarding how this could be useful. Agustín had knelt next to his wife, he looked over at Luisa then he nodded before he straightened. Pepa was listening to Félix with a surprised look and nodding every once in a while, she glanced over at him and smiled when she realized he was looking at her. Isabela had a faraway look as she gazed out his window. It was no secret she wanted to leave the Encanto and travel. Dolores and Camilo were now next to their parents listening intently. Mirabel was off the sofa and moved closer to Luisa who was still feeding bits of arepa to the rats. She reached up and tugged gently on her sister’s arm to get her attention and said, “This is so exciting, Luisa. I wonder how close the church is to the college?” Luisa paused and smiled, clearly not wanting to get her hopes up.

“It would be nice if it was,” she said noncommittally, and noticed Mirabel was petting the smallest of the rats he’d named Pepito. “You wanna feed a couple?” Luisa asked.

“Yes.”

Luisa broke off a piece of cheese from the bundle and seeing that new food item sent the rodents into a short frenzy. Bruno smiled remembering the time he’d raided the larder and brought back some cake along with the arepa’s he usually pilfered. The rats with him then, had pretty much the same reaction. Ah, the good old bad days, he thought. Bruno rubbed his temples twisted his neck to try and loosen his muscles. It wasn’t a sponty, those he couldn’t put off. This was a full-on vision and those he could delay for a short time. It irritated him that something in the ether was once again demanding his attention and he thought, ‘Seriously, can’t this wait?’

It was his mother who noticed from her seat on the sofa. She was not really interacting with anyone unless they spoke to her first but was carefully watching everyone else. To Bruno, she appeared to be nervous and just a little anxious, but she looked mostly calm? At the moment she was watching him, and Bruno meant to smile, but instead his teeth clenched when his neck went stiff.

She looked genuinely concerned as she got up and said, “I think,” and she raised her voice just enough to be heard over everyone else, “it’s time for us to go. We can talk about this more after breakfast. The town meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow morning at 10:00, so it would be best if everyone got some rest.” She turned toward him then and said, “Bruno, please don’t go off on your own without at least letting someone know what you’re doing. What if you’d been hurt? Or the door locked on the other side, and we could not get you back?”

Bruno’s teeth unclenched as his half smile turned into a full one and he said, “I won’t Mama. I’m sorry if I worried you.” She nodded, accepting his answer and Bruno once again was taken aback by the change or rather return of her younger self. The one that was trusting, patient and kind with her family. His family began filing out of his room, quietly chatting and as Mirabel walked past him, Bruno felt a half-remembered twinge. It took him by surprise because it was something that he’d not felt for a really long time, though he knew it somehow was related to his Gift and to magic itself. It was also something he’d never completely understood. It was that unexpected that even though he wanted everyone out he said, “Félix, Gus, can you both stay for a minute?”

Agustín nodded and Félix raised an eyebrow as both sat back on the sofa. His sisters stopped and Julieta asked, “Is everything okay, Bruno?”

Bruno did not remember whether he had ever talked to either of his sisters about this quirk. It only happened twice and both time it had spooked him for days. He did not want to worry them or even try and explain it, so he nodded and said, “Just need to get my cuñados opinions on something,” and hefted the radio he was still holding hoping it would do for an answer. Though neither seemed convinced, Julieta nodded, but Pepa fixed him with an appraising look as they exited and shut the door.

He sat for a moment in silence and said before he started, “Doli, I love you sobrina, but would you mind? Your Dad and Tío too.” This caused Félix and Agustín exchanged worried looks, but he needed to sort this out.

Bruno sat in silence for a few more minutes, he still had the pillow Pepa had tossed and was pulling at the fringe trying to find the best way of telling his cuñados what he was thinking. The problem he was facing was that he was not sure what he was thinking. But the feeling that something was off would not subside, and it had everything to do with the things he’d been seeing lately.

“Bruno,” Agustín said, “Just say whatever it is.”

Félix nodded and nudged him, “Does it have something to do with the red door?”

Bruno looked up and said, “No, it’s more to do with the spontys I’ve been having lately and the sketches I drew for Mamá.”

“The ones about the people in the forest?”

“Yes. I don’t think I’ve been looking at them properly.”

Félix and Agustín exchanged looks and Agustín said, “In what way?”

“I don’t know, just a feeling I got, but I think I need to gather them all up and look at them again.”

“The kids had some of them in Isabela’s room earlier,” Félix said.

“And a vision tablet.” Agustín added.

“Right,” Bruno said, and he went to the desk and pulled out another small stack of sketches. As they headed toward the door, he pushed back the need to deal with the vision waiting for him. Hopefully, it could wait a few hours. 

------------------------

(…Doli, I love you sobrina, but would you mind? Your Dad and Tío too...)

Dolores squeaked and immediately shut out their voices. She’d made a promise to the family and herself that she wouldn’t try to eavesdrop on family conversations. Especially if she was specifically asked not to. They’d gone back to Isa’s room to talk about their plans some more, with Mira, Luisa, and Camilo. Everyone noticed her jump but didn’t ask. They knew she’d tell them if it was needful. The thing was it was harder to not listen than listen…so she decided to cast her hearing toward the mountains. Good distraction that. While she was not expecting to hear anything, she was surprised to hear a dog. It was growling.

A woman’s voice (…chhh…) the voice had a strange echo to it. A cave maybe?

The dog went silent, but Dolores could hear the dog panting as well as the breathing of several people. She focused on each realizing a good number of them were children. Tío sketches showed her this woman’s face. Dolores was sure they were one in the same. She moved further from her family so as not to be distracted and sat on Isabela’s bed keeping her eyes focused on the floor. Camilo knew what she was doing, he’d seen her do this before. His voice was hollow, like he was in another room as she faintly heard him say, “Everyone stay quiet.”

After a few minutes Dolores could hear the sound of at least five maybe six people walking on stony ground. But it was a slow walk, everyone must be very tired. The group came to a halt.

A man’s voice (…You said their tracks went this way old man…) there was a dangerous note of anger there.

Older man (…The ground here is extremely hard, and there’s been no rain. Sign is harder to see in those conditions. Perhaps they doubled back…) This man was lying.

1st man (…I’m tired of your excuses…) there was no answer from the old man, instead Dolores heard the sound of someone being struck quite hard, followed by the sound of a body hitting the ground.

2nd man (…It’s getting dark, we should head back to camp…)

There was no audible answer from the 1st man only movement of some kind.

2nd man (…what about him?...)

1st man (…leave him…)

2nd ma (…alright everyone, looks like another dead end, Back to camp…)

There were grunts but none contradicted the order, so the group left but were not moving much faster than when they’d arrived. Dolores followed the sound of their steps until she couldn’t hear them anymore and looked up to see her brother and primas all in front of her. Mirabel was on her knees holding the vision tablet tightly to her with her sisters on either side and Camilo in front. Her concern for these people must have been showing on her face because they were praying, but silently. Dolores refocused her attention on the woman’s breathing. She was calmer now and Dolores listened for the children. One was weeping quietly almost silently.

Woman (…They’ve gone, okay, mis pequeños. Water for everyone then it’s time to go…)

2nd Woman (…Doris, they need to eat…)

Doris (…I know, mi vida, but we cannot stay here. We need to put as much distance between us and them as we can…)

Inez (…What about Fernando?...)

There was a pause, and Doris said, (…He’ll follow if he can…)

Inez (…At least let me give them some bread and cheese…)

Doris (…Fine, they can eat while they walk…)

Dolores squeaked but made a mental note of where the voices were coming from. Everyone looked at her and she said, “They’re close enough for me to hear them, but still a ways off. Just on the edge. Like Tío said, they are being pursued.” Dolores gestured to Mirabel, and she handed her the tablet. Dolores turned it around and pointed to the angry woman. “I believe her name is Doris, and the woman behind her is Inez. There’s someone else, an older man named Fernando but…” Luisa was going through the sketches and held up one of an older man and younger who appeared to be arguing. “That one,” Dolores said pointing to the older man, “That must be Fernando...I’m not completely sure but he was doing his best to slow the pursuers down. All I could tell for sure was that he was not telling the other the truth.”

“Was?” Isabela asked.

Dolores paused and said taking the sketch. “I believe he is the leader of that group,” she said and pointed to the younger man in the sketch, “This one is dangerous. He struck this other man and left him unconscious in the mountains.”

“What?” Isa said as she stood up, “Should we try and find them?”

“I don’t know how we could. I only have a very general idea of where they are.”

“How many do you think?” Luisa asked.

“I don’t know. There were at least five, maybe six others with this one. They talked about going back to a camp before dark. I couldn’t follow their steps for more than a few minutes.”

Dolores looked to her brother, but he was watching Mirabel, who was sitting off to the side, her fingers tapping on her knees. She did not seem to be paying attention but was instead staring past everyone, looking at no one. Thing was, while it may not seem like Mirabel was listening, she was listening. Camilo looked back at Dolores as he moved to squat down in front of Mirabel asking quietly, “Hey there, prima, what’s going on in that head of yours?” She didn’t answer so Camilo gave her a poke “…Mira?”

Mirabel started and looked around for a moment as if just remembering what she was doing and said, “Sorry, I was just thinking about the path in the tower,” she said as she got up, “When Tío brought me up there before, I thought I heard someone calling out for help. I thought it was my imagination. Now I’m not so sure.”

Dolores still holding the tablet was moving then toward the door. “Where are you going?” Isabela asked.

“The tower,” Dolores replied, “If the voices are louder there, then perhaps we can get to them more quickly.”

Luisa already collected the sketches, and everyone was up and moved into the hallway, walking quickly toward the tower stairs, except for Mirabel who was heading toward her room, “I’ll catch up,” she said over her shoulder.

“I’ll go with her,” Luisa said handing off the paper to Isabela and followed after her sister who had not slowed.

The rest of the group continued on only to stop again when Tío Bruno’s door opened and her father and Tíos came into the hallway. “Where are you three off to?”

Dolores said, “The tower.”

Her father looked at Tío Bruno and all three of them said, “No.”

“But why not?” Camilo asked.

“Reasons,” her father said.

“And those reasons are…?” Camilo was not one to talk back to their father and Dolores was wondering what he was thinking.

“Where are Mirabel and Luisa?” Tío Agustín asked.

“In her room,” Isa said.

“You know,” Tío Bruno said, and took the tablet from Dolores, “how about we all meet down in the dining room so we can discuss this.” And tapped the tablet. It made a soft ringing sound that Dolores found appealing.

Camilo had grown more independent since the breaking and did not like being told he couldn’t go somewhere. Dolores elbowed his arm to forestall him saying something else and said, “Okay Tío,” and pulled her brother after her toward the stairs. Isabela had her arms crossed and she heard Tío Agustín say, “I’ll explain downstairs, Isa.”

Camilo pulled his arm loose and halted on the landing. “Quit dragging me around like I’m five, Dolores.”

“I’m sorry Camilo, but I needed to get you away.”

“Why?”

“Something’s wrong, I can hear it in their voices,” Dolores said. “Mostly Tío Bruno.”

Isa caught up with Dolores and Camilo on the stairs. “They seem really weirded out,” Isa said and together they entered the kitchen to find their mothers and Abuela having tea and chatting.

“What brings you three down here?” her mother asked.

Before they could answer that Tía Julieta asked, “Are those Bruno’s sketches?”

“Yes,” Isabela said and set them on the table, “We were going to go up to the tower to see if Doli could hear them better up there.”

“You can hear them, Corazón?” her mother asked.

Dolores nodded and said, “Only just.”

“Then where are Mirabel and Luisa?”

“Mirabel’s roo-” Dolores paused as she answered.

“No, no she is not,” her father said walking into dining room.

“She’s in the tower now,” Dolores said.

“She must have gone to the tower from my room,” Abuela said getting up, “Was the door missing?”

“Yes,” Félix answered.

“Dios Mio,” Tía Julieta said sounding quite vexed and she was up as well.

“Luisa is with her, Mamá. She won’t let her do anything too Mirabel-ish.” Isa said and shook her head.

Tía Julieta nodded but started for the stairs.

“Gus and Bruno went up there, I came to get you all.”

“Why not just tell me from where you were?” Dolores asked.

Félix’s eyebrows went up and he said, “Sorry, mi vida. Slipped my mind.”

Dolores smiled, that’s what he always said. Her Papí seldom to never tried to talk to her from a distance. He preferred speaking to people face to face, including her, regardless of how many times Abuela had told him he should. Dolores always found it to be the perfect distraction when the voices got to be a bit much. Dolores looked at everyone in the room and asked, “Where is Camilo?

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

[longtimenospooning-luci]

Azalea's, Camelia's and Rhododendron's Chapter Two

Summary: Life always seemed to throw bullshit your way. A bullshit childhood, a bullshit family with the exception of your older brother, a bullshit bodyguard team because of aforementioned older brother... To say you were tired of it would be an understatement. You just wanted to bask in your self-made richness as a bestselling author, all by yourself being the key point, and pretend you're not doing it to avoid your trauma. But now you have to deal with seven incredibly hot, stubborn and frustrating men forcibly barging into your life against both of your wishes and ruining your peaceful silence. So, if they were going to be hardheads, you'll be one right back.

Pairing: Bts x reader, featuring older brother Bang Chan and a dickhead ex to be revealed later on.

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of Abuse and Human Trafficking (If these trigger you in any way please do not read this or read at your own discretion, I don't want anyone to be hurt by this work. If you need help please reach out to the national hotlines), cursing, 1st appearance of the shithead ex. Namjoon is a guilty baby that hasn't apologized yet.

**This chapter is mostly Namjoon and Reader focused, the next chapter will bring the other boys thoughts into the mix much more.

Word Count: 2.5k

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Seoul Today

04 April 2022

Chaebol heir Shin Do-Yun sentenced early this morning in connection to Abuse and Human Trafficking case of ex-girlfriend. . . .

Seoul Today

22 September 2020

Chaebol heir finally arrested after fleeing the country in connection to Abuse and Human Trafficking case of ex-girlfriend. According to authorities the man in question arranged with the victims father to receive her as compensation in a business deal between the two. . . .

Seoul Today

13 July 2019

Unnamed CEO found guilty in case of Abuse and Human Trafficking after six months of cross-examination. The prosecution requested before the trial that the proceedings and case file be sealed for the protection of the Victim’s identity. The verdict comes as a relief to her and the rest of her family. The police have yet to find a lead on the second suspect in the case after his disappearance upon the CEO’s arrest. . . .

Namjoon has read the news articles on his desk what seems like hundreds of times.

It's been three days since the incident in the living room between you, Yoongi and Jungkook. Namjoon had honestly been expecting to get a call that afternoon informing him that they had been fired, but no such call came.

A little while after Mira had left your room that morning, she had informed the boys she would be back the next day. She only worked every other day and she was just there that morning for the hearing. They knew better than to ask her what upset you so much, the woman had too much affection for you and wouldn't spill a secret like that.

So Namjoon did what anyone would do in his shoes. He googled the fuck out of it, and now he has that nice stack of printed articles to add to the puzzle that makes up you. But he didn’t expect his research to create this pit of emotions in his stomach that he can only describe as sickly. He doesn’t want to think about the consequences of his theory being true. He doesn’t want to think about the looks of mortification on Yoongi and Jungkook’s faces when he reveals to them what he found.

They didn't see you again that day, only receiving confirmation of your existence from the takeout you had ordered for everyone, asking them to leave your portion at the door when they knocked.

On the second day they came into the kitchen to find Mira looking at your office door in concern. You had apparently gone in there sometime during the night, and Mira had found you clacking away on your computer keys when she arrived. Namjoon knew he would have to apologize for the events of the day before, and the ever-growing pit in his stomach was nagging him, so he volunteered to take in your breakfast for Mira.

The sweet woman had been right to fret about you. When Namjoon got the call to come in when he knocked on the door, his jaw nearly dropped in disbelief.

There were papers strewn everywhere across the room, everything from the floor to the bookcases were in complete disarray. Namjoon had to tiptoe over heavy tomes and folders laid open and spilled out in the pathway to your desk; which was clustered in a similar fashion, not even an inch of free space to place the tray down.

It took a bit to catch your attention, your glasses sitting askew when you finally looked up at him; and if he didn’t know any better he would say you looked cute.

It took another few minutes for your brain to catch up to what Namjoon was doing in your office, and again with his offer for you to come eat at the kitchen island when your frazzled brain tried to clear your desk, but had no comprehension of what was supposed to go where.

With his watchful eye on you Mira was able to leave you in your void like state and get started on tidying up your office. To which Namjoon sent the rest of the boys to help her in order to avoid the possibility of another fight breaking out. Plus god forbid you snap out of your slump with the boys right there, the thought of your wrath sending a shiver down his spine.

And now here he is on day three with the news articles at his desk. Namjoon selfishly hopes you’re back to normal today. Watching you move through the motions of life without being mentally present was like a brick dropping into that pit inside him, weighing him down with each zombie-like step you took.

It's been three days since you lost your shit in front of seven strangers in your living room and to say you were embarrassed was an understatement.

It was even more embarrassing when your best friend called you yesterday afternoon and knocked you out of you stupor, only for you to realize you had acted like that in front of said strangers. But Key had called you with the promise of a surprise for you today and that you couldn't tell him no. So you put your embarrassment behind you and looked forward to seeing your insane bestie.

You hear the doorbell ring and one of the boys open the front door from your office.

"YYYYYYYYYY/NNNNNNNNNNNN-AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" You internally blanch at your best friend's opera rendition of your name echoing throughout the manor, and you can only hope he isn't having you do something ridiculous today.

Your office door slams open with Keys mission oriented Gusto and you can tell from the multiple dry-cleaning bags in his arm that he's making you go outside today.

"Get your perky ass up and out of that chair you're going out to lunch today bitch!" He exclaims, turning from the doorway with a flourish and heading to what you assume is your bedroom.

A few members of your bodyguard team stand in the doorway looking after your retreating best friend in bewilderment.

"Well, I guess we're going out today. Go ahead and let the others know." They whip their heads to you at the sound of your voice. Finding you now in front of them, Hoseok and Taehyung nod their heads in acknowledgement.

When you get up to your room, you find that Key has laid out six dresses and a couple of pairs of heels to choose from. You spot two wooden carriers on your wardrobe that you recognize as his portable makeup kit and jewelry box.

"So, what hairbrained scheme are you making me attend today. Because I know I'm not going with you, you're not dressed up enough and we both know you won't let me look better than you in public." You address the man in your room with a raised eyebrow as you close the door behind you.

He gasps in faux offence "Excuse you I look fabulous thank you very much! And I got you a lunch date with the greatest woman of all time!" singsonging the last bit of his sentence he finally turns his attention to you.

You just huff in resignation to his antics, used to them by now as he ushers you over to the dresses. "Okay, take a look at these and tell me what you think."

Looking over the choices, you notice the dresses are all Versace but pay no mind to it as you grab the black safety pin minidress and the Hot chick Louboutin's to go with it. 

"Ah, this is why we are besties. What a perfect bad bitch choice." Key claps enthusiastically, setting aside your picks and bringing you over to the chair at your vanity. 

It takes him about an hour to do your makeup, finishing with pride and letting you go to put on the dress and heels in your walk-in closet. 

You step out of the closet and stop to look in your body mirror. It's been a long time since you've felt this sexy and confident and you loved it. Key came around behind you and clasped a blue rhinestone Versace chain around your neck and held out the matching earrings and ring to you.

"Okay, I'm starting to see a pattern her. What's up with all of the Versace?" You asked in suspicion.

"You my dear, are having lunch with our beloved Mademoiselle Versace." He replied with a shit eating grin on his face.

You lit up in surprise and happiness, having met the woman and become fast friends about a year ago when you were on a book tour in Paris. She had come to a signing event and expressed to you she was a fan, and of course you were floored by the revelation, and next thing you knew you were getting afternoon coffee in a Parisian patisserie with THE Donatella Versace.

"No way she's here!?" turning to your best friend.

"Yep, she arrived yesterday morning for a conference and called me to help surprise you for lunch." he answered.

"When? Where? Lets go! Right now, lets go!" you scramble around the room to grab your black matching clutch and your phone, shoving everything you would need in the small bag as you talk excitedly.

"Relax will you, I gave the boys the address and reservation info when I got here. Go have fun, okay." you can hear the tone in his voice and can recognize from it that he did this because he was worried about you.

The thought makes you want to cry happy tears, you give him a long hug whispering a thank you to him. He gives you a kiss on the cheek and lets go, grabbing your shoulders to turn you around and give you a push towards the door.

When you reach the stairs you see the boys at the bottom in the foyer, and it almost makes you angry at how hot they are in their suits. Begrudgingly you even admit to yourself that Yoongi and Jungkook are included in that hotness. You quickly push away the thought and begin to descend the stairs.

If you weren't so focused on not missing a step and tumbling down the stairs to your death you would have seen the boys shocked faces when they noticed you.

They thought you were beautiful when they met you but holy fuck they did not know you could look like that.

"Ready to go?" Your voice snaps them out of their thoughts and they simply nod and lead the way out to the car.

The thirty minute drive into town was the most fucking awkward experience ever, the tension was off the charts between you and them and it made you want to jump out the window.

Pulling up to the luxurious restaurant the awkwardness and tension is quickly forgotten with your excitement. The boys got out first as you were sitting in the center seat in the middle row, and Hoseok who was sitting on the passenger side offers his hand to assist you out of the large SUV.

You look at the hand apprehensively, but you really don't want to start anything and ruin your mood so you take it without a word. As you begin walking you notice the boys have created a complete barrier around you, and you roll your eyes at the unnecessary behavior.

Entering the restaurant Namjoon tells the hostess the name your reservation is under and you're quickly being led to a private room. When the doors slide open you immediately squeal in happiness, lightly stomping in place before moving towards the woman on the other side of the room who was reacting in a similar matter.

"Mademoiselle Donatella! I can't believe you're here!" You exclaim as you hug her, switching into French to talk to her.

"Neither can I! I see you got my gifts from Key. They look wonderful on you; I should have had you walk the runway in them instead." She replies to you.

While you chat away in French like this situation isn't absolutely bonkers, the boys eyes are nearly popping out of their sockets. You are having lunch with the fucking owner of Versace, their jaws are practically on the floor at this point. Namjoon regains his composure when the two of you sit at the table and quickly moves the team into their places. Sending Yoongi and Jungkook to guard the doorway from the outside, and then splitting up the rest around the private room.

"What's up with the entourage of Greek Gods?" Donatella asks, leaning in towards you with a glass of champagne in her hands.

"Ugh, they're bodyguards my brother hired, and they are complete assholes." You huff back, taking a sip of your Moscato.

"Want me to get rid of them for you?" She smirks back at you.

"Mademoiselle if you can get rid of them, I'll let you read my next book that's coming out in the Fall and tell you what happens in the sequel I'm currently writing." You wager back at her, mirroring the smirk.

"Deal, do any of them speak English?"

You think for a moment and then call out to Namjoon. "Namjoon, Come here please."

He comes to stand next to you where you sit "Yes, Miss Bang?"

"Mademoiselle Donatella has a question for you, I recall my brother telling me you can speak English, correct?"

"Uh, yes Miss I am fluent."

"Great, go on." You motion a hand to the woman across from you, he looks about ready to piss himself and you find it highly entertaining.

Namjoon swallows down his anxiety and turns his attention to your lunch date, taking a deep breath he greets her in English.

"Have any of you ever modelled before?" She cuts straight to the chase and you almost snort your Moscato holding in your laughter.

His face is burning red as a tomato in what you assume is a bountiful mix of uncomfy feelings. "Uh, no Mademoiselle we have not."

"Interesting, I'd like to have you all come to my studio here for an interview. I think the seven of you could become next seasons supermodels."

Okay now you actually spit some of your wine out that time.

"Oh, OH. I... Er, thank you Mademoiselle for your.... offer but I don't believe we have that kind of talent. We are happy with our career as it is."

And now your wine is actually spewed out onto the restaurant floor. Holy fuck he's got some balls to tell her no, that would be anybody's golden ticket! Damn you Kim Namjoon and your muscle head.

Donatella looks at you with an expression that practically screams 'That's never happened before.' Namjoon gives a bow of respect and steps back to his post against the wall.

You chat a little while longer as the courses are being served, switching back to French. Donatella jokes with you about the absurdity that is your bodyguards and, of course, you quip back that this means she's definitely not getting her hands on your book early.

You eventually part ways when she gets a call about a runway emergency, and you can say you definitely feel much lighter after seeing her again. But we all know life likes to throw bullshit your way, and this time it came in the form of Shin Do-Yun standing on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant doors.

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[sie-rui]

hello! i read ur draken n baji w a street race s/o and rlly enjoyed it! can u do one w rindou, shinichiro and mitsuya? btw i rlly rlly luv ur writings ><

❀ GOTTA GO FAST | TOKYO REVENGERS 🤍 haitani rindou, sano shinichiro, mitsuya takashi 💿 gender neutral, second pov (you/your), fluff, established relationship, au - everyone lives / nobody dies, timeline: highschool, imagine 📅 july 19, 2021 🔗 masterlist ,, version: 01, 02

truthfully, they should have expected their lover had a side to them as well. they just didn't think that you were a street racer. it explains your driving.

. . . HAITANI RINDOU

If there was one thing everyone who knew of the Haitani brothers, it was that their partners are as… simply put, unique as them.

If there was one thing Rindou knew was that you love speed. You love the thrill of having the wind in your hair, slapping your face as you grin wide and spread your arms on the back of his motorcycle. You loved cutting people off, smirking when it was your time to drive as Rindou held onto his seat for his dear life.

If there was one thing Rindou did not know was that you were into street racing.

He should have guessed it, he should have seen it. But he didn’t and Rindou felt as if he was stupid as he sits on the passenger seat beside you. “Y/n, is this even legal?”

You gave him a look, raising a brow in amusement. “Rindou, you literally rule Roppongi’s underworld with Ran, I’m sure this is nothing. Plus, there’s this unspoken rule between racers that we’re not allowed to attack each other and it’s greatly respected.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Of course that’s not what he meant, he’s very much aware of his status, thank you very much. Though the information about the rules was new, he didn’t even know that such rules existed. “What I meant was, if it’s alright to have another person in the car?”

Rindou loves you and when he found out that street racing was your latest addiction (for the past three years ever since you saved enough to get a second hand car—a race car), he was supportive. That’s just amazing and it may be illegal but it’s not like his own moral compass is upright as well.

If anything, it just made things make even more sense than before!

And by complete idiocy, he offhandedly mentioned wanting to ride with you on a race three days prior to current time. Now, he’s here.

You only shrug, hands on the steering wheel and eyes set forward as the host signals the round was about to start. “It would help them finally win against me so they don’t mind that much.”

Rindou looks at the car beside you from the window, the sleek black color looking intimidating, and he raises a hand to hold onto the roof handle. Just wishing for the best. Maybe he should get off, especially after hearing that will lessen your chances of winning this. Perhaps Rindou is content with just watching from the sidelines…

The back of his head slams onto the car seat as you press on the gas pedal without any warning other than a wave of the flag. “Y/n, fuck-”

The side of his face meets the window as you swerve so suddenly, leaning onto the motion with ease, a contrast to Rindou’s clumsy actions, desperately trying to hold onto something.

Rindou loves you, and he thinks this is amazing and all, and that you looked so cool, but let him get off!

. . . SANO SHINICHIRO

Shinichiro had worked on your car before. It was the sole reason why he branched out from fixing up motorcycles to learning more about cars, because he saw how much you loved and treasured the vehicle.

He doesn’t ever regret it.

He just didn’t know that you were using said car in street races. Illegal street races. That got you money. Which is no problem. Shinichiro still clearly remember his days in Black Dragon, even if he sometimes acts as if he didn’t to run away from the embarrassment of the stupid things he did and say during his time as President.

Shinichiro warily looks at the people gathered, chatting and showing off their cars in front of the abandoned warehouse. He could name at least half of the cars present, the others clearly more topnotched than some.

You were walking with a swagger, head up high and a smirk on your lips. Your sweet BMW was sitting neatly, Shinichiro leaning on it with feigned calmness.

You were supposed to stay at his place today, to help him with some things in the shop so when you cancelled at the last minute, Shinichiro couldn’t help but be curious and ask what came up. And when he found out? He was jumping in your car before you could stop him.

He can hold onto the questions after the race. That is if you don’t get hurt, or killed, or-

Shinichiro closes his eyes, trying to mute his thoughts. Dammit, he really is getting older if he’s worrying about getting hurt in races like these. Getting hurt had always been a part of life and he had always welcomed it as a chance to learn and grow, he is after all, Black Dragon’s founder. Now, he’s just about to have a heart attack at the thought of you getting hurt.

Will he stop you though? Of course not. Shinichiro isn’t stupid nor is he blind. From where he is, he could see the pride on your shoulders and the brightness on your face as you approached the host who greeted you happily.

If this is what makes you happy, so be it. He just needs to remind you of safety precautions and to call him if something happens.

Shinichiro avoids looking at any of the guests’ eyes, opting to stare at you instead, feeling the comfort of your car on his side. He could still remember the adjustments he made just a few days prior, most likely to help you in this race. You told him that you were getting quite the price if you won the race tonight and Shinichiro sure as hell isn’t letting you lose.

You look over your shoulders, gaze searching for him and when you finally meet his, Shinichiro offers you a smile. You turn back after giving him another one of your smirks, nodding to the host, and Shinichiro can’t help but wonder what you were talking about for you to look for him like that.

“What was that about?” He asks once you return, standing in front of him as he blocks the door to the driver’s seat. Some people were moving their cars out of the way, as the main race for the night was about to start with you as one of its leading actors.

You smile up at him, so softly and childish that Shinichiro could almost forget that haughty smirk and that sharp gaze from earlier (that is doing things to him, mind you). “He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him that I had a fiancé.”

. . . MITSUYA TAKASHI

There was that look in your eyes that Mitsuya can’t exactly decipher.

The car smoothly comes to a stop in front of a red light as the screen shows the time nearing to late eleven in the evening. Mitsuya drowsily blinks, leaning his face on the window and glancing at the lights of Tokyo, drained out of his mind after today’s misadventures with Toman.

He hopes that classes would be miraculously cancelled tomorrow because he really can’t do it.

“What’s wrong?” He murmurs sleepily as the look remains in your eyes, your lips pursed. That look was almost desperate, your shoulders tense and your expression serious. There was something you wanted to do and Mitsuya was pretty sure it wasn’t a kiss from him.

You blink, turning your head to look at him. You gave him a small smile but Mitsuya, despite his tiredness, could tell that it wasn’t completely there. “I have to tell you something.”

Mitsuya sits up, pulling on his seatbelt. He hums, awaiting your words.

Before your voice could leave your mouth, you pause as the rev of an engine cuts you off. It was coming from the lone red cars beside yours, a Toyota if Mitsuya recalls correctly. You narrow your eyes in a challenge and Mitsuya sits up even straighter at the sudden change in your demeanor.

Then, it was as if a better idea flashes in your mind as you glance at him. “Takashi,” you start off with a small smile. “I think it’s better to show you than tell you.”

“What?”

You roll down your window and Mitsuya could see the way you grinned, almost manically, just like how Mikey does whenever he leads Touman into fights that they will win.

“You up for a race?” You cheekily ask and Mitsuya gapes as the other driver gives a small interested smile, interest clearly piqued.

“Just until before the crosswalk in Akihabara,” he replies and you let out a small laugh, so different to your earlier seriousness that Mitsuya almost feels betrayed.

You lean back comfortably, already giving a nod before pulling your window back up. “Y/n, a race?” He asks, getting jumpy and once more pulling at his seatbelt. He continues on staring at the other car and glancing at the traffic light as the seconds continue to count, just a few more before the light turns green.

“Relax,” you slowly say, noticing his apprehension. You give him a small smile and Mitsuya can’t help but calm down just from the sight of it. “This isn’t the first time I did this.”

“What?”

You sheepishly grin at him and Mitsuya just continues on blinking blankly. What? Was this what you wanted to tell him? That you get into races that have chances of you either getting hurt or straight into jail?

First of all, shit, that’s cool. He can just imagine you giving the same smirk with your hands on the wheel and smoothly turning into a sharp corner as if it was nothing. Second of all, how did he not guess this just from how much you took care and upgraded your car??

“Though this is the first time I had someone beside me while racing.”

Mitsuya gulps, giving you a small shaky smile. “I have younger sisters and an already busy mom, Y/n.”

You burst out laughing, short but joyful, mindful of the time counting down. There were ten more seconds left and you finally switched the gears, hands on the wheel and winking at him. “You’ll find that I’m one hell of a driver and you’ll fall for me even more.”

[carnationcreation]

Can you do Luke Patterson fanfic where the reader is Alex sister and is in the band who’s been in love with Luke all this time but he never noticed her. And ever since they met Julie she has seen them together has gotten jealous.So she hatches up one finally plan to make him jealous to get him to see her . And Luke realized he had been in love with her and confess to her . Sorry if it’s too much this is my first time asking for a request 🥺

TITLE: Unrequited (Luke Patterson x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Requested: Yes!

Prompt/summary:  Reader does one final attempt at getting Luke to notice her.

Word Count: 1,615

Authors note: appear I just write a lot of angst. Again Where’s my Love by SYML is the vibe lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day we woke up on the floor of the garage in the year 2020 was the worst day of my life.

Or that’s what I decided at least.

Apparently we had spent the past 25 years in a dark room, with Alex crying for most of that time. The girl who found us, Julie, quickly became our only tie to the real world. We could only be seen playing if she was playing with us. We soon found out that we had unfinished business that we needed to attend to before we could properly cross over to the other side. We figured it was simple. Play the Orpheum and we were done. But getting to the Orpheum was going to be a lot harder than we thought.

Slowly we had started to build up a following on a thing called ‘YouTube’ where people share videos, I never thought such a wide library of videos could exist for free every single day. Practices became a daily thing, though I didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. 

I really shouldn’t be jealous. Luke has chemistry with everyone he sings with. Alex would kill me if he found out that after all these years I was still crushing on his best friend. I couldn’t help the feeling in my throat when I saw Julie and Luke singing together though... the feeling like I couldn’t breathe. Like all the air was being sucked out of me while I tried to keep the feeling of anger from bubbling over.

Why can’t he look at me like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never meant to get him jealous, because I always thought making crushes jealous was unhealthy and only ever worked in the movies. But as soon as I started only talking with Reggie and Alex at practice Luke started to notice how I didn’t go out of my way to talk to him like I used to.

As time went on I started only singing with Reggie on stage for the harmonies. Every time I would look over afterwards I would see Luke staring at me with an almost blank expression.

The next few days were miserable for me.

My only desire then was to go up to him and tell him why I had been avoiding him. That I had seen every glance, smirk, smile, and laugh he and Julie had shared and say it was breaking my heart in two. I just had to watch in silence. The fear of causing drama within the band had taken precedent over my unrequited love. 

I never meant for it to be taken this far. After Caleb branded us I truly began to wonder if my place in the band really meant anything to anyone. My feelings poured out over a page as I explained everything to them in a letter. A stupid letter that I didn’t know if I actually was going to deliver or not. 

My worst fears soon became a reality after I saw their interaction outside of Luke’s house on his birthday.

Tears fell out of my eyes as I slipped the letter into his songwriting notebook and poofed out of the garage. I knew they would find it. I knew my brother would know the first place to look for me, so I avoided it.

I stood in the alleyway behind the Orpheum, tears falling down my face as I held onto my brother’s sweatshirt he had given me a few days prior. Hopefully I could still keep it.

“Are you ready?”

I turned around and saw Caleb standing in all his elaborate glory, “I guess so.”

He smirked, “Why so hesitant little dove?”

“Um,” I mumbled, a shiver went down my spine at his awkward nickname, “I’m just going to miss them.”

“Miss them? You’re going to miss them? Oh (Y/n), they haven’t even noticed you were gone. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Tears began to form in my eyes. Breathing became hard as I realized I had been sitting here for hours, and no one came yet.

“Poor (Y/n), in love with a boy who doesn’t even notice her. A brother who was rejected by even his parents, and a best friend who doesn’t even notice her feelings. You can leave all that behind, just shake my hand.”

I stood there, debating on if I really wanted to give it all up. Did I really get a choice in this? I slowly lifted my hand, still hesitating.

“(Y/n), look around. They haven’t even come for you yet, and I’m sure that rat Willie already told them what you were doing. They just don’t care-”

“That’s not true!”

I turned around and saw my band running towards me.

“(Y/n) don’t listen to him? He’s manipulating you,” Alex said.

Tears fell down my face as Caleb grabbed my shoulder, “You’re too late. (Y/n) just look at them. They didn’t even notice as you drifted further and further away.”

My eyes flickered up, Luke locked eyes with me. Tears were forming in his eyes, “(Y/n) please don’t do this.”

I looked back down at the ground.

Julie spoke up, “(Y/n), you really don’t realize how much you contribute to this band. We all care about you so much.”

“I doubt she wants to hear from you,” Caleb scoffed, “Seeing as you stole the one thing she most wanted away.”

The boys looked at each other confused but the look on Julie’s face told me that she knew exactly what Caleb meant.

“(Y/n) I promise you, Luke and I are just best friends. I’m so sorry you felt like you weren’t important to us anymore,” Julie said.

Luke looked up at me but I tried not to meet his gaze.

“(Y/n),” Alex said, “You’re my sister. I can’t lose you too. Please.”

Tears ran freely down my face as I pulled myself away from Caleb. Luke ran forward and caught me as I began to fall.

Caleb let out a frustrated yell and disappeared. I didn’t even bother to look up as I sobbed into my hands.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke whispered to me. Alex pulled everyone into a group hug.

“Guys I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

“This isn’t your fault,” Reggie said.

I brought my hands down to wrap around Luke’s shoulders, “I just didn’t feel good enough. I wanted to know if you guys really cared. I’m so sorry I should have said something.”

“We’re just happy we got here in time,” Alex said, he ran a hand through my hair, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

My tears came to a slow stop, and eventually we began to walk home.

“Guys, I’m taking (Y/n) somewhere. We’ll catch up.”

The guys waved as Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me in a different direction. It soon became clear where he was taking me. 

“Do you remember this place?” he asked.

“Barely,” I said. I looked around the park I had always gone to, it had changed so much since 1995, “They tore the gazebo down.”

He looked over to where the rickety white structure used to be, a bathroom area was there now.

“I remember, you used to always go there after there was a fight at your house.”

I nodded, “Quiet, secluded, free to go to. Can’t tell you how many songs I wrote here.”

He pulled me over to sit on the benches near the playground. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said. 

I looked up at the clouds, trying to get the answer straight in my head, “I just… I had seen how you looked at her. I wanted you to look at me like that. Once I started to pull away, no one seemed to notice. Caleb offered me his help, he said I’d be famous…”

“What made you hesitate?”

“I realized… I didn’t want a million admirerors, I just wanted one. Nothing could compare to that.”

I jumped as he reached over to grab my hand, bringing it over to sit in his lap as he covered it in both of his, “I want to be that person.”

“You always were.”

He smiled. He brought my hand up and placed a kiss gently on my knuckles. In a quick moment of bravery I leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly.

He placed both his hands on my cheeks before pulling me into a real kiss. The boy I thought I had lost was kissing me. The kiss I had always dreamed of but thought I could never have. 

We both pulled away breathing heavily. I looked up and giggled at his swollen lips and tousled hair knowing I probably looked the same. 

“I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to say this. I love you (Y/n). I’ve loved you since the day I met you, I loved you after we died, and I loved you every moment till now. I guess the only reason why I didn’t do anything is I was so scared of you not liking me back, or how your brother would react.”

I sighed as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek, “How do you think he’ll react?”

“He told me while we were looking for you I should’ve asked you out weeks ago. He knows,” He laughed.

The sun had started to set, the light illuminated him making him look ethereal. I pulled him into another quick kiss, “I wish I had done this sooner.”

“What? The kiss or trying to sell your soul to a dead magician?”

I laughed, “Either.”

He smiled and wrapped his arm around me, “Don’t do the second one again anytime soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

[mah-gah-lee]

What a weird family reunion Reggie x  Reader (xLuke)

gif originally posted by @jatpsource​

Word Count: 3515 words

 Summary: You’re Reggie’s little sister. You were 3 when he died. You’re now a ghost for a decade. One night, you recognize your brother and jumped into him to an unexpected family reunion. How is it going to happen? Will Reggie believe you? In a mysterious way, that’s Luke who help you to convinced Reggie.

 Warnings: cuss (language), mention of death, mention of divorce, mention of drugs

 A/N: This is my first fic about jatp characters. Hope you’ll enjoy! keep in mind that french is my first language, so i’m so sorry if there’s some mistakes in my fic

 disclaimer: It takes place during episodes 6 and 7. I do not take into account the possibility of a Juke. The chemistry while they sing is there but no romantic feelings.

 Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @standingtalllove​ 

 _______

Losing a child is the worst thing a parent could live, losing two is unimaginable. It’s seems being 17 years old was a new malediction in Peters family.

 You were 3 when your older brother, Reginald, died in a weird hot dog accident. At that point, your parents were literally a fight away from a divorce but never did it because of you. You were too young to be in a divided family, according to them. But Reggie's death separated them for good. Yet they really tried to support each other, to overcome that and give you all the attention you needed. But your mother overprotected you and made you live in the shadow of your late brother. Your dad couldn't stand it. And when they finally divorce, moving out from reggie’s childhood house, you went to live with your dad.

 Even though you were too young to form a strong bond with your brother, in a way you missed him. Your mother’s house was full of pictures of him, some of his clothes were still in a room, dedicated to him. When you visited your mother, you didn’t understand why you always found yourself in this room. You were drawn like a magnet to the comforting room. Reggie’s presence in this new house brought you such a sense of security that your mother had repeatedly found you asleep on a pile of your brother’s T-shirts.

 And then you died in 2009. Kanye West had interrupted Taylor Swift's speech at the VMAs, Miley Cyrus hadn't gone crazy yet and One Direction didn't exist yet. What an era! You didn't know why the great light didn't come looking for you but you were there, as a ghost in 2009. And the time has passed ... You've had your best concerts, the best parties. A forever teenager who couldn't eat, drink or sleep.

 And then 2020 came.

 …

 You were tired of always doing the same thing for over a decade, but you couldn't help but go to every open scene that came up in your beautiful city. It was as if an inexplicable force was pushing you to go there.

 This evening was no exception to the rule and you were in a very hip little bar in the city center. You wore one of those sleeveless, gray crop tops with high waisted pants, your leather jacket draped over your shoulders. Your eyes were directly drawn to a group of girls in colorful costumes. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. It's been 10 years since you died and it seemed to you that these girls looked like the same plagues that ruined the lives of so many teenagers in your time. You put on an expression of disgust when they all took the stage, but when the music started you couldn't help but admit it was pretty catchy. However, you didn't expect a ghost to appear in the middle of the stage, improvising a choreography. Was that part of the show?

 But looking at the audience's non-reaction, you knew it wasn't. The ghost disappeared for the first time, and your gaze sought directly the distinctive light source of another apparition in the room. Your gaze lingered on a small group of three boys - the blond boy included - and two girls. You have wrinkled your eyes to better distinguish the teenagers, and your face expressed confusion.

 “Reggie? “

 You wanted to go see him so badly. You were pretty sure it was your brother but it all came too fast. The moment you decided to walk towards them, the organizer announced a new band.

 “Okay, looks like we're close the night out with one more group…Julie and the fat ones.”

 What was that for a name? Your attention had been diverted and when you looked back at the group, the boys had disappeared as one of the young girls took the stage. Your heart was beating so fast. You couldn't go wrong; you had seen so many pictures at your mother's house that it was impossible that this boy was not your brother. But you missed your chance…

 Julie started to sing and your eyes were captivated, as much as your ears were. This kid was so talented! When she sang a rather high note, the tension in the room charged into electricity. The next second, the young singer was joined by the group of boys you had seen in her company. Appearing distinctly as the ghosts did. On drums there was the blond boy you had seen dancing a few moments earlier, on the electric guitar, a boy with tousled brown hair who seemed slightly familiar to you ... and on bass, with a flannel shirt, there was your brother ... Reggie was there, identical to the photos you had admired so much.

 The bar was on fire as Julie and The Phantoms performed. What a sick name for a group made up of two-thirds of ghosts! The song was so catchy that your heart beat to the sound of the music. But your eyes did not leave your brother, you were unable to move, frozen in place. What should you do ? Will you introduce yourself after the performance? And, what would you say? "Hey hi Reggie, I'm your sister, I died ten years ago and you twenty-five years ago. Unbelievable, right?! Nice to see you again" And once again, before you knew it, the song was over and the boys were gone again, leaving Julie alone on stage in the bewilderment of the many people in the facility.

 “for God's sake, where are they?”

 You didn't want to miss it anymore. Even though the whole situation was strange, you wanted to see your brother again.

 Your eyes flew over the room before seeing the scene play out before your eyes. Julie seemed petrified in front of a man. The boys watched in amazement and as Julie left with what appeared to be her father, you rushed over to the group of three musicians before they disappeared again.

 “omg please don't poof out again.” You said almost out of breath

 The boys looked at you like you were crazy before the guitarist jumped off the bar counter, bursting with energy.

 "Wait, you can see us?"

 “as much as when mister "all eyes on me" made his performance”, you were pointing your head at the blond boy.

 The group looked at each other in puzzlement and Reggie finally spoke, his blue eyes full of mischief.

 “So…hi there cutie, how can we help you?”

 Your face expressed disgust and you stuck your tongue out mimicking vomiting.

Luke gave Alex an amused smile, seeing Reggie flirting and your spontaneous reaction. The bassist couldn't help but charm the pretty ladies.

 “Wow Reggie, that's gross ... you're my brother.”

  Reggie burst out laughing at your response, not noticing that you called him by his first name when he hadn't even introduced himself to you yet.

 “Yeah right, for sure. You just could tell me you weren’t interested. But I’m charming...”

 It was the first time he had been given such an excuse but you looked so serious that he stopped dead in his tracks as Luke and Alex watched you. They always knew Reggie had a sister. But the scene unfolding before their eyes seemed impossible. (Y / N) was so young when they died and now must have been around 28, something like that. But the girl in front of them was a teenager, their age. How was this possible?

 You didn't want to drop the information like that. It was worse than anything you could have imagined. But it had escaped you. Now he didn't take you seriously. Your eyes were wet with tears. It was scary to find you in front of your brother for the first time as a ghost teenager. Luke looked panicked when he noticed your eyes, squeezing Reggie's shoulder as you seemed to beg.

 “Can I ... can I meet you in a quieter time please, Reginald?”

 Your brother's eyes widened as Luke's hug on his shoulder tightened a bit. The eagerness and desperation in your voice had made both boys react, Alex was just looking at all of you like all of this wasn't real. The use of Reggie's name made him tense, surprised. Few called him Reginald. In fact, only his family, and the boys when they wanted to annoy him, called him that way. And although his nickname is obvious enough to deduce his

full first name, he deeply felt that you weren't just anyone.

  He seemed a little panicked and looked around for his friends to support him. As if the solution would fall by itself just by the presence of Luke and Alex.

 “Okay, but I want Luke and Alex’s there! What about tomorrow? I’ll give you the address!”

 Wow, that was quick.

 “hm, yeah, yeah sure, as you want”

 You nodded and Reggie silently slipped a note to the drummer. Alex took a pen, write something on a paper towel and gave it to you. You weren’t surprise, you also can make some tricks. And you just had the time to thanks them before they poofted again.

 …

 The next day, you landed in front of Julie's garage. Lucky she's at school because you shouldn't be explaining your presence, so she managed to see you the way she saw boys.

 Before entering, you peeked out the window and frowned. There seemed to be only Luke so far. He was leaning over the piano, his head in a notebook. Your body went through part of the garage door and you cleared your throat.

 “hmm, hi ... i came to see Reggie ..”

 Luke instantly raised his head and you caught his attention.

 “oh uh, hi! He should be here soon, come in.….”

 Silence felt as Luke motioned for you to sit on the couch. It was a rather pleasant studio; the plants gave a warm atmosphere to the room and the music set sent you good vibes.

 "Does your girlfriend mind that I'm here? I mean, that seems to be your HQ"

 "girlfriend?"

 "The girl you sing with" I simply said.

 "Julie? Um, yeah, she's not my girlfriend. She-sh-she’s great and we have this powerful connection but…not, not in a romantic way. Music tied us. Music and friendship "

 Luke chuckled lightly as he scratched his head. You were surprised they weren't dating. Yesterday the tension was intense. He seemed authentic when he had continued his momentum. You let out a smile amused by so much overflow.

 “It's okay, I don't need to know your full relationship statute or your social security number.”

 The guitarist gave you a frank smile, his eyes twinkling with amusement. For a ghost, his gaze was really alive.

 “ I’m Luke, by the way”

 "Y / N… Re .."

 "Reggie's little sister… I-I remember you a little."

 "You look familiar to me. Maybe I saw you in a few pictures with Reggie."

 Silence fell and you started to feel anxious. Maybe it was a bad idea? You had grown up since Reggie died ... were you still his little sister after all? Luke seemed to notice your dismay and put a comforting hand on your knee.

 “hey, is something bothering you?”

 “What if he doesn't believe me ... if he definitely thinks I'm not his sister.”

 “Let's be honest, it's a little hard to believe. The last time I saw you, you were three years old.”

 It was as if the memories flooded into your mind and let you carried away in your words.

 “Yeah, you gave me this teddy bear with a guitar and told Reggie you wanted to be my favorite.”

 Luke chuckled slightly before staring at you, speechless. He seemed dazed. This anecdote dates back to twenty-five years anyway. He himself had a hard time remembering it until you said it a few seconds earlier.

 “what was the smell of the stuffed animal?” he asked, confused about that funny fact

 “sorry, what?”

 “the plush, what did it smell like?”

 “hot waffle, why?”

 “okay ... maybe you are his sister ... tell me more about what you remember”

 You looked at him with a puzzled expression. Everything had been so natural before he stopped in all the movements. And now, it was hard to think about for the memories you had of Reggie on demand. The teddy bear given by Luke story had slipped out of your mind without you realizing it. As your brain seemed to boil, the fog of your thoughts cleared.

 “can I use your guitar?”

 “hell no ... why?” Luke exclaimed with far too much anticipation

 “I have this lullaby stuck inside of my head ... I think Reggie sang it to me when I was a child”

 Your pleading and desperate gaze fell on Luke who categorically refused to let you take his guitar. He ends up grabbing his six acoustic strings, terminated. There was something about you that made him weak.

 “Maybe you can teach me but ... my guitar is my guitar, nobody touches it.”

 You nodded and the lead singer moved closer to you. You were stunned by its smell, like a distant memory. Luke had definitely been a part of your life before he died, you were sure of that. You leaned over her shoulder, humming the lullaby that was left in your head. It didn't take long for him to find the right chords. Luke continued several times before you stopped singing, looking at him intently.

 “that's exactly it ... this lullaby”

 You both looked at each other, an indecipherable expression in your eyes. You both jumped at the sound of the garage door. Reggie appeared with Alex.

 "Ready to compose hellish songs! oh did I interrupt something?”

 "No, no I was there to see you. I guess you have a lot of questions."

 "hell yeah, can we start from the beginning?"

  You smiled to approve his request. The boys settled down on the sofa, while you sat down on one of the single armchairs. And the flow of questions began

  “When are you born?”

 “(your birthday date) 1992” you simply answered.

 “What’s your name?”

 (y/n) (y/m/n) Peters

 It’s seemed to convinced a little Reggie but doubt was all over his face.  It was information you could easily get on the internet nowadays.

 “What’s my favorite food?”

 “Pizza, mom said your favorite was the extra cheese with pepperoni”

 “And what was my favorite toy?”

 “I freaking don’t know, how can I suppose to known that?”

 “ah ah!” he pointed the finger at you, as if that answer was proof that you were lying. It broke your heart but you didn't show it.

Instead, you rolled your eyes and Reggie kept going to ask you some question. Of course, you would have liked to have answered his questions correctly. Your mother told you some anecdotes about him but not to the point of knowing all the details.

 “What’s the most terrible thing I said to my mom?”

 “Omg I don’t fucking know! I was 3 when you’re died, asshole!”

 Luke smiled when you exploded. Reggie was Reggie, as weird as possible. Now you were angry and desperate. Your brother didn’t believe you and he kept dragging you into this miserable feeling that you were never going to get your brother back. You had spent your short life living with a faint memory of him. Your blankie was one of his t-shirts, his voice reasoned in your head when you couldn’t sleep.

But then, in front of him, you were a stranger to him. Your heart was bruised from not being able to hug him and to finally meet this brother who had left far too soon.

 “Okay, okay… So, how can you proof me you’re really my sister?! “

 In the room’s corner, Luke looked at you, you looked desperate, about to cry again. He grabbed his guitar and cleared his throat. Reggie turned to him as the guitarist still had his eyes on you, a heartwarming smile hanging across his face. You had managed to convince him in a few minutes. He felt connected to you and the things you told him were disturbing. You could only be Reggie's sister; it was impossible otherwise.

 "Hey…What about the song you told me earlier." he said with a soft and comfort voice

 Your eyes caught his gaze, grateful for the initiative. You nodded and Luke started playing the few notes you had taught him a few minutes earlier. It was so different from all the songs the brunette could play before. It was a lullaby, such easy children's music with just a few notes.   Of course, the band wasn’t supposed to play when Julie wasn’t in the room but, Luke had thought it was the best thing to do to encourage you to keep going. He didn’t know why, but he wanted Reggie to believe you. Luke believed you, hard as nails. There only had to look at your eyes to understand this reality, and Luke had noticed that. You had the same blue eyes as your brother. How could Reggie still doubt that? You started to sing

 You're so sleepy

Very much sleepy

You want to go to the fairyland

You close your eyes

And jump into your dream.

When you'll wake up

I’ll still be on your team.

 The instant Reggie heard the first notes, he knew. But hearing you sing the lullaby he had invented for you when you didn't want to sleep as a child, was a magical moment. You were his baby sister. He gave you that sad little puppy face, so overwhelmed. Reggie opened his arms and you jumped into a hug, so glad he finally accepted the fact that you were his sister.

You felt oddly safe again, like taking a nap in Reggie's pile of old t-shirts. You were so happy to find your brother and to be able to live your non-life by his side. Nothing would be as boring as it used to be. Reggie pushed you away with a concerned look

 "but wait ... how did you die?"

 "Yeah ... I don't really know ... I was at a really, really good rock concert and I bought this drink ... and I think I got drugged up there and ... I guess I'm dead? tadaa " you tried to tell him in a light tone.

He had just learned that he had a little sister. He didn't have to know that she was sneaking out at rock concerts and drinking alcohol before she was old enough. Right? Alex looked at Luke and Reggie with his half amused half confused smile. As for Luke, he fidgeted from foot to foot at the discovery. Y / N was as much rock and roll as they all were. Rebellion had to be his middle name

You loosened Reggie's embrace and lowered your head, pursing your lips so as not to show your embarrassment. He asked if you wanted snacks and you nodded. There was a slight silence. You didn't notice the urgent look Luke gave Alex but the next moment the blond jumped up to accompany the bassist, leaving you alone in the garage with the lead singer.

 The silences were a little longer until Luke cautiously approached you. You could feel the awkwardness from miles away.

 “ Sooo, you made this.”

 “ yeah ...” you answered in a shy voice

 It was the moment you had to thank him but your words seemed frozen. You mustered all the courage to plant your gaze in Luke's eyes.

 “Thank you ... for helping me earlier.”

 “oh it was nothing”.

 “I ... yes, yes it was. You can't imagine how important seeing Reggie again is to me. Thanks for ... for helping me open his eyes.”

 A slight smile caught his lips and he reached for your cheek before stopping his gesture. Instead of stroking your skin, he simply put a section of your hair back behind your ear.

 “I would do anything for my best friends.”

 And Reggie was definitely one of Luke’s best friend. You hardly swallowed, your stomach contorting under the effect that the guitarist made you. Time had seemed to fly at an incredible speed as the moment was interrupted by Reggie and Alex coming back to you.

 “OMG LUKE DON’T FLIRT WITH MY SISTER, SHE’S 3!”

 You cleared your throat and stepped aside to pull yourself away from Luke as far as possible. Your gaze fell on your brother and you raised an eyebrow at the last remark. 3 years old, really? You were 3 years old twenty-five years ago ... now you were eternally a teenager

 “I’m seventeen.”

 “Listen, i'm your big brother, you’re three, end of discussion.”

 Your face wanted to laugh and you pursed your lips to keep from succumbing. But your eyes… Your eyes met Luke's in a complicity that slowly settled. Could you fall in love with your big brother's best friend? Definitely yes...

[loveelle]

Leap of Faith~ Part 4

Luke Patterson x Reggie’s Sister!Reader

A/N: Hope you like! There’s a part in there with another lil bit of a song that doesn’t exist, it’s probably not good, but oh well. Anyways let me know if you want to be tagged!

WC: 4.2K

SERIES MASTER

MASTER

---

It’s been a little over 2 weeks since you and the boys appeared in Julie’s life and you had to admit, you were getting quite used to being a ghost. Julie was awesome and she was so much fun to be around all the time. You wished you had a girl friend like her when you were alive. She also introduced you to Flynn, well it was more you hanging out when Flynn was around and her knowing you were there. You haven’t found a way for her to see you yet.

Things had also been simply weird between Luke and you. Being ghosts together had brought you together, but it also made you take a step back from him. You could barely handle your awkward feelings for him when you were alive, now that you were dead and could only build relationships with the four other people who could see you, it was hard.

You were hanging out in the studio, reading through some books Julie had stashed in her room and listening to Luke and Reggie do some quiet playing when Julie came home from school today, clutching a flyer in her hand. You set the book down and stretched your arms above your head. “Whatcha got there, Julie?”

She showed you the flyer, making your brows raise up as you looked back and forth between her and it. Luke’s attention fell to you the moment you were up, not missing your interaction with Julie. “What is it?” He asked and took his guitar off, Reggie following as well as the three of you crowded on the piano and Julie started watering her plants.

You passed the flyer to Reggie and Luke. “You’ve got a gig.”

“We’re playing a school dance? Sweet!” Reggie gasped out after a few seconds of reading.

“It’s not exactly the Strip.” Luke mumbled, shooting you and Julie a sad look as you frowned with a shrug.

“It’s still a performance Luke.” You told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. His eyes flickered to your hand and you pulled it away quickly.

“We’re not exactly alive, so you should be happy we have our first gig.” Reggie told Luke as he agreed with you.

“I wasn’t in love with the idea either,” Julie called over as you grabbed the flyer again, “but it could be a great way to get followers, right?”

“Exactly!” you interrupted, turning to your boys. “Why do you think I got you so many gigs at the book clubs. They weren’t going to get you playing the Orpheum.” You chuckled at Luke’s smiley eye roll and Reggie’s quick shoulder shrug.

“We can play whenever we can, wherever we can.” Reggie gave you a high five.

“Let’s rock those kids faces off and then play the clubs.” It was Luke’s turn to give you a high five, but your hands stayed together for a few seconds, a moment that didn’t go unnoticed by Julie and your brother.

“And then record a single that gets a billion streams?” Julie broke the moment between the two of you. Your cheeks were surely hot as Luke and you broke eye contact.

Luke recovered faster than you, ignoring the blush starting its way on his face. “I don’t know what that is, but hopefully it gets us a manager and a tour.”

“Then you release a bunch of hit albums.” You smiled at Julie, purposely not looking at Luke.

Reggie’s eyes lit up. “Put out a country album that does surprisingly well.” You laughed lovingly at your brother.

“He shreds on the banjo.” You told Julie, not hiding the smile on your face.

She put her fist out to him for a fist bump. “Then I’ll learn how to fiddle.”

“And before you know it, we’re being inducted into the rock ‘n’ roll hall of fame!” Luke’s shout scared you as you jumped back from his pumping fists. You let out a quiet giggle.

“But one of us isn’t there.” Realizing Reggie was going into story time, you propped your elbow onto the piano to listen. “Because we had a blow out in 2023. My money’s on Alex. He’s so sensitive.”

“He’s not!” you laughed out and shook your head. “You’re just incapable of having human emotions.”

“I am not.”

“Uh huh, sure.” You pushed away from the piano, turning your back on them before calling over your shoulder. “Shouldn’t you guys get to rehearsing?” Luke snapped his fingers and pointed at you before bouncing over to his guitar.

“Uh, where is Alex?” Julie question and the boys and her shared looks, but you knew exactly where Alex was.

“He’ll probably going to be here soon.” You knew how much Alex had snuck away to see Willie in these past two weeks. “You guys should just get started.”

You fell back onto the couch as the band listened and started rehearsal. They played through the song a couple times before the blond drummer walked through the wall of the studio door.

“Alex! Where have you been? We need to start practicing.”

“Practicing for what?” He questioned Luke, hopeful at the prospect of a gig.

Before anyone could answer however, Flynn walked in with a grin on her face as she struck a pose. “Dance news!” Her smile fell as she approached Julie. “I still don’t have a date, but I don’t care because I’m so psyched to see you guys perform.”

Alex’s hopeful attitude fell as he caught on. “Oh, man, we’re playing a dance?”

“Dude.” You called out, giving him a face. “Do you want to get a following? This is how.”

Julie chuckled at you. “Yeah, get with the program, Alex.”

“What?!” Flynn’s jaw dropped. “The guys are here?” She turned to an opening of space where no one was and waved. “Hey guys!”

“I’m here too!” you mumbled out quietly so no one could hear, pretending to laugh to ignore the sting of being forgotten.

“Other way, sweetie.” Julie told Flynn before pointing over her shoulder at you. “And don’t you dare forget Y/N.” Even though Julie couldn’t see it, you smiled warmly at her. Flynn turned around, waving to where the boys stood before waving over to where you sat.

“Okay, well now that Alex has graced us with his presence, can we start working?”

“Yes!” Julie agreed with Luke, knowing they had a lot to do. She turned to Flynn. “We’re going to rehearse, wanna stick around.”

“I’m supposed to blow up 500 balloons for the school dance, but this sounds way better.”

“Hey Julie!” This time the rehearsal was interrupted by Carlos as he came in and walked right through Alex to reach his sister. “Do you remember those orbs in Dad’s pictures? I think they’re ghosts.” He handed Julie a picture and you jumped off the couch to peer over her shoulder, looking at the picture Ray took the first day you were here.

There were 4 bright yellow circles hovering the piano. “Guys, look! It’s us!”

Carlos started to look around the room. “Don’t worry. This room is- This room is clean. I’m not getting the ghost tingles.”

Your brother laughed. “Wrong again, little dude.” The four of you couldn’t hold back a grin.

“Have no fear. If they come back, I will protect you, because I am the man of the house.”

“Isn’t dad supposed to be the man of the house?”

“There can be two.” He crossed his arms, matching his sister’s stance. “Dad needs all the help he can get.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a container. “According to the internet, salt burns their souls out.” Luke’s eyes shot to yours as the four of you, or at least you, starting getting worried.

“What are you gonna do with that, little dude?” you asked cautiously, using the nickname Reggie dubbed him.

“A little sprinkle will keep them from ever coming in here.” Without much warning, Carlos tossed salt at Reggie’s feet. Your brother yipped and pulled his feet off the floor, tucking them under him. He did the same to Luke and you, making both of you jump with one solid swing, but still untouched by the salt. However, on Carlos’ last swing of salt into the air, he managed to send it right through Alex.

“No!” Your friend yelled as you looked on worried for what could possibly happen. “Oh, god I’m-“ Alex cut himself off, looking down at his hands before realizing that the salt didn’t do any harm. “I’m fine. I’m fine. Totally fine.”

Julie gestured to Flynn, begging her to get rid of Carlos. Flynn did, asking him to clear a salt filled path to the kitchen and the two of them were gone. Alex moved to his drums as Julie asked if they were ready to start again.

Luke nodded and bounced to his feet. “Oh, remind me later there’s some sunset curve songs I want to show you.”

“Ooh, show me now.”

You chuckled at Julie’s enthusiasm as Luke pulled out his song book. “Home is where my horse is.” He read the song title that was sticking out his journal. “Reggie, stop putting your country songs in my journal.”

“It wasn’t me!” Reggie defended himself and you shrunk back, slowly sitting on the floor and hiding behind Julie as Luke stood up and looked at you. “Y/N?”

“That song is a gift.” You defended, pointing at your brother who pointed back, knowing you were always down to support his love for country music.

Luke ignored you, pulling out Reggie’s song and handing it to him before walking over to Julie. “I dog-eared the ones that I think you would slay.”

Julie started flipping through the book as Luke looked at you, sitting on the floor and he reached his hand out. You took it hesitantly and allowed him to help you up. That was when Julie found a song in his book that she shouldn’t have. “Who’s Emily?”

Luke was quick to let go of your hand and you fell back on the ground. “That one’s not dog-eared.” He reached for the book but Julie just pulled it away.

“If you could only know that I never let you go” Julie read from the book before looking up at Luke, seeing him finally help you off the ground as you stepped back, slightly embarrassed from falling just then. “Wow Luke, I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

“He’s not.” You grumbled, adjusting your jacket and thrusting your hands in your pockets. “It’s about-“ your words were cut off as Luke through his hand over your mouth, making you stop talking.

“No one.” Luke finished, sending you a look and you felt slightly bad you were about to tell Julie about Luke’s mom. If he wanted Julie to know, then he would’ve told her. “That’s just something that I tried, but if you go to the next dog-eared page, I got a tune that’s just-“ His words stopped as he looked at you. “Did you just lick my hand?”

You were finally able to pull out of Luke hold and nod. “Yeah. Don’t want your hand licked, don’t put it on my mouth.” His lips quirked up at you and you closed your eyes tight, quickly adverting your gaze. “Go back to the song.”

“Right.” Luke breathed out before turning around and plugging his guitar into the amp. “It’s got a killer beat.”

Luke started playing and you nodded your head along to his music, watching the joy light up his face. “So, you wanna sample.”

Luke let out a light chuckle. “What do you mean sample?”

“Sample someone else’s music. Me and my mom used to sing that song at the top of our lungs all the time. It’s a classic Trevor Wilson song.” The band and you all shared confused glances.

“Nope. It’s a classic our song.” Luke grabbed his journal back from her.

“Pure Sunset Curve.” Your brother added. “We’ve never even heard of Trevor Wilson.”

Julie took offense when Alex suggested she could be mixing it up with another song. “I don’t mix up songs. Trust me. Me and his daughter used to be best friends. I know that song.” The boys and you didn’t believe her, but a part of you worried greatly that Julie knew what she was talking about. She pulled out her computer, pressing a few buttons and pulling up a website with Trevor Wilson and turning it to the boys. You moved out from behind her, standing next to Luke.

You jaw dropped after a few second of realization. “What the? Guys, that’s Bobby.”

“Seriously?” Julie asked sending you a glare. “I just told you his name is Trevor.”

The four of you couldn’t look away from the picture, shocked at seeing your old bandmate who apparently had made a name for himself after your deaths. “Great, then he changed it, all right?” Alex said shaking his head. “That’s definitely Bobby. He was our rhythm guitarist.”

Julie scoffed. “Trevor Wilson was in your band?” she looked at you, the only one who wasn’t in band, and you nodded telling her it was true.

“I can’t get over how old he looks.” Reggie mumbled and you agreed, seeing the crow’s feet and beard Bobby- Trevor was now sporting.

“He looks like a substitute teacher.” Alex whispered and you looked over to Luke, seeing the betrayal on his face.

“Julie, what were his other hits?” Your heart dropped completely at Luke’s words.

“Get Lost.”

“Luke wrote that.” Luke spun around at your mumbles, rightfully upset with this whole situation.

“Long Weekend?”

“Yeah, Luke wrote that one too.” Reggie shook his head.

“Crooked Teeth?”

“And that.” Alex pointed towards Reggie as you glanced over to Luke, crossing your arms in front of you. “He wrote it about Reggie.”

Reggie’s brows furrowed. “Wait, what? I thought it was about you!” Luke was pulling the darts out of the dartboards as he glanced over and met your eyes before forcing himself to look away. “I don’t like that song anymore.”

Julie’s mind was blown. “Trevor’s songs are kind of big to me. He’s the one who introduced me to rock.”

“Luke introduced you to rock.” You corrected her and Luke and your eyes met again before he clenched his jaw and chucked a dart at the board.

“This whole time, I thought you were connected to my mom, but instead you were connected to Carrie’s dad? Out of all people, it had to be the one girl who had it out for me.” Alex took a seat next to his drums when he told Julie to add it to the list of questions you all have. “We used to talk about music all the time. He never mentioned you guys.”

Luke threw another dart in his hand at the board as hard as he could. “That’s unbelievable! He can take all the credit and he doesn’t mean mention us?” You put a hand on his shoulder, offering him comfort but he shrugged it off. His action hurt but you tried to play it off, lucky for you, no one was looking at you.

“He’s also rich.” Julie was adding fuel to the fire. “He’s got his own helicopter.” Luke groaned harshly and chucked the last dart in his hand at the board but he missed, landing it in the wood just below it.

“He has… He has a helicopter?” Alex stuttered over his words as he was in shock.

Julie pulled up a picture of Bobby’s helicopter, showing you your now older friend’s face plastered on the side. Reggie’s jaw dropped. “He parks it in front of that hotel?”

“No. He parks it in front of his mansion.”

“Mansion!?” your brother squealed.

“Dude, we live in a garage.” Alex pointed out needlessly.

Luke was still worked up as he bounced around. “It’s not about the money! It’s about the music!”

“It’s a little bit about the money!” Reggie countered. “We could’ve shared it with our families! Maybe then Y/N and my parents wouldn’t have had their house turned into a bike shack.”

“Wait, what? Really?” Julie whispered to you and you nodded with a sad smile.

Luke was looking at a different aspect to this betrayal than Reggie was. “What he did is steal our legacy.” The room fell silent as the five of you really took in what happened. Luke glanced down to Trevor’s mansion on the screen before looking to Julie. “Where does he live?”

He was livid and you knew it.

“Above the beach in Malibu.”

He nudged Alex before grabbing his jacket. “Let’s go teach him a lesson.” Julie and you tried protesting, reminding them about the gig and needing to rehearse, but they were gone before you could stop them.

“This isn’t going to end well, will it?” Julie asked you and you sighed, tugging on the pockets of your leather jacket.

“Best bet? Not at all.”

Flynn came back and clapped, telling everyone to get back to work. “Break time’s over. Get to playing. Mama needs her eye candy.” If you weren’t stressed about the situation, you would’ve laughed at her.

“They’re gone.” Julie told her and Flynn straightened her posture, looking disappointed. “I think I just unleased three angry ghosts on the world.”

Julie’s head dropped and yours did too until you caught sight of the computer, spinning it to face Julie and accidently making Flynn jump at the sudden movement. “Yeah, but we know where they’re going.”

“Come on.” Julie nodded, closing her computer and the three of you ran out of the studio.

---

Julie and Flynn led you to Bobby’s house and immediately your mouth gaped open in shock. “Bobby lives here?”

“I know. It’s huge.” Julie mumbled to you, worried about what the boys would do.

You were worried too, knowing the boys could literally do anything to Bobby to scare him. Julie and Flynn approached the gate, knowing that somehow, they were going to have to get over it. It took them a while, and you hated that you couldn’t help. As soon as they were on the other side, Julie turned back to look at you, watching as you just walked right through and her lips pulled into a thin line.

“Sometimes I really hate the fact that you’re a ghost and I’m not.” You laughed at her and seeing Flynn’s awkward face before the three of you set towards the house.

“I’ll go in first?” you asked and Julie nodded. You walked right through the door, hearing Julie or Flynn press the doorbell behind you. You passed Carrie walking to the door as you skipped up the stairs, starting to look around for your friends.

“Guys?” you called out, not caring how loud you were since they couldn’t hear you. You paused momentarily as you heard some shouting. “Bobby?” you rushed to the source, seeing Alex push again a door with Bobby screaming on the other side. Luke and Reggie were laughing at him as your jaw dropped.

“What are you guys doing!”

“We’re haunting him.” Reggie laughed out, barely sparing you a glance as Trevor started yelling louder.

“Well, stop it!”

You grabbed Reggie’s arm, trying to get him to understand why this was a bad idea, but he just pushed your arm off. “Y/N, he stole our lives! This is band business, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Why do you say that?” you stopped tugging on his arm as he turned around to look at you.

“Because you’re not a part of this band.” Your face fell, yet Reggie didn’t realize how much his words hurt you.

“You’re right.” You whispered, getting his attention again, as Luke and Alex both remained completely oblivious to the fight you and Reggie were approaching. “I’m not, but believe it or not, Reginald, I know a little something about getting your life stolen.” and right at that moment, Alex moved from the door, sending Bobby flying past you all and Reggie watched as you disappeared. He didn’t focus on you though, too busy celebrating with his band.

---

You reappeared in the studio.

That wasn’t the worst fight you’ve ever had with your brother, and to most people it wouldn’t even be considered a fight, but you hated it. Reggie was the one person you went to when listening to your parents fighting became too much and to be on bad sides with him, hurt.

You grabbed a pillow, ripping it off the couch and sending it across the room before falling face first onto the spot. The band’s predicament was different than yours, but that didn’t mean you didn’t know a thing or two about losing out on a certain life. Tears clouded in your eyes as you blinked them away, laughing bitterly at yourself as you turned and faced the roof.

Time went by but you didn’t notice, too caught up in your thoughts before you stumbled over to the piano wiping the tears from your eyes. Your fingers fell on the keys. Letting your eyes close, your fingers move themselves, a familiar tune only you knew filling the air as you bit your lip before setting yourself free and singing out a song you wrote when you were younger, back when music meant the world to you.

I will be, I will be myself,

Cause that’s enough,

I’m not somebody else,

And I will try to show you now,

I’ll be me, I’ll be me.

The song was coming to an end, your feelings slowly grounding you again as you let out a shaky breath, sniffling your nose and wiping away the final tears before you let your eyes drift up. The music stopped abruptly when you saw a frozen and shocked Julie staring at you.

“You’re back.” You whispered, gradually coming to the realization that you just played in front of her. You stood up quickly, hearing the piano bench screech behind you as stepped away eagerly. “I thought you’d go right to the dance.”

“I had to change and find you after you disappeared.” Her words were slow, the obvious shock still getting to her. “I’m sorry, I thought you said you couldn’t play!”

You fell silent, words escaping your brain completely. “I- uh-“ you closed your eyes tight “Please don’t tell anyone!”

Julie’s mouth fell open. “What! Y/N, you’re amazing!” you let out a quick sigh, moving to fall on the couch as Julie joined you. She waited for you to say something, seeing how you struggled to form the right things to say.

“I’ve been lying.” You admitted, keeping your eyes downcast in hopes this makes it easier to share. “Music had always been Reggie’s thing, since the moment he got his first bass years ago. I got into it too, and the music teacher at our school said I had a real knack for it. But I’m nowhere near as good as my brother and I haven’t played in years.”

“Why not?” Julie asked softly, not wanting to overstep.

Casting a glance to the piano, you frowned. “It was Reggie’s thing. You know, he’s a great brother but sometimes he pays attention to the wrong things. He didn’t know that I played and sang, it was always him and his bass. Once my brother got the band and started getting known around school a little, kids who knew that I played, I guess, started calling me a loser among other names.” Your words came out in sighs and Julie wished she could hold your hand for comfort. “The more I tried to play, the more they told me I would never be as good as my brother, so I stopped.” You picked at your fingers in your lap. “I couldn’t live up his reputation and he barely made a name for himself yet. That’s how much of a loser I was.”

“Y/N-“

“Julie.” You cut her off, knowing she was going to argue much like Luke had the day you spilled to him on the beach. “It’s alright. I mean, look at me. I’m dead, people can’t see me, and the only thing I’m good at apparently is supporting my brother.” You let out a soft chuckle and finally had enough courage to meet her eyes. “Which is why tonight I’ll be front and center, watching you guys kill it for a bunch of teenagers.”

Julie smiled at that. “You’re here for more than that Y/N.”

“Really? Because I would love to know what for.”

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing.” She stood up, giving you a bigger smile as she looked down at you. “I would not be able to handle those boys without you.”

You chuckled, feeling your spirits lift as you shrugged. “Eh. I’ve been dealing with them for years, they’re not that bad.” Julie checked her watch, seeing what time it was before her eyes widened. She told you she had to get ready and you nodded, watching her go before you stopped her. “Hey Julie! I was serious though, please don’t tell anyone I play.”

She stood in the doorway, tapping her fingers against the frame before nodding. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

And she was gone.  

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@hoechx // @katrin-okay // @ifilwtmfc // @winchestergirl907 // @rachelle3musicals // @im-sorey // @magicalxdaydream // @sovereignparker // @yagorlemmalyn // @wanniiieeee // @xplrreylo // @starjane312 // @kexritz // @tuttigunner // @sunsetcurvej // @lukewearingbeanies // @whotfisdani // @killerqueenfan​ //

[madefordvarka]

Fragility - CW for brief mentions of abuse! A short one shot I thought of last night. :)

To be vulnerable was to be fragile.

Easily breakable- to allow people to see inside of you, giving them the power to destroy you should they so choose.

Bangs matted to his forehead from the latest bout of nightmares, he'd gone to Jake out of desperation.

A need to be protected even just for a moment.

He'd done this before out of sheer desperation, and Jake was always nice about it, but he couldn't help but hate himself when he needed the comfort.

His birth father's words echoed in his mind- one's he hadn't thought of or even knew existed since beginning the process of healing.

Constant reminders of his uselessness and failures.

He found himself staring at Jake's door, with a trembling hand raised to knock at four in the morning. He couldn't bring himself to knock, not until the sound of footsteps somewhere else in the house forced him to be brave.

You're not worthy of this. He's only going to hurt you, and you know it. Chew you up and spit you out.

The voice in his head reprimanded him for his weakness, as he pushed his way into Jake’s bedroom and carefully shut the door with a soft click.

I know.

He wanted to reply to the thoughts, which he slowly realized were in the voice of his father.

Jake’s head popped up from the blankets immediately, startled at first, but his disposition softened when he saw who it was. Frank didn't even need to say anything for Jake to know what was going on, which Frank appreciated.

When he got like this, words stayed caught in his throat unable to speak. It used to be useful, to protect him, but now it only made him more frustrated with himself. He just wanted to say what the problem was, but he wasn't able to.

"Frank, here."

Jake's words soothed something deep in his heart, as he watched the man rub his eyes and stifle a yawn. He made his way over to him and smiled, but Frank could see something in his eyes.

Pity, probably.

Frank liked to lie to himself and tell him that it was love, but he knew better. It was pity. Jake pitied him, that's why he helped him. He wasn't good enough for him to love.

He wasn't good enough for anyone to love, but that was besides the point. Even if he wasn't good enough for it, he wanted to pretend, just once, that he was.

Frank felt Jake's hand on his wrist, giving him a gentle tug into the bathroom off Jake's bedroom.

Wordlessly, he sat down on the seat of the toilet, watching as Jake ran a washcloth under the sink.

Frank's thoughts went back to the night Jake had first found him like this.

Barging into the room that used to be Jake’s brothers, as the pair of them stared at each other in disbelief. He'd heard him crying, probably. Something he hadn't even known he was capable of anymore until Jake had found him and asked him about it.

The way that Jake somehow knew what to do without asking, and would send him off to bed afterwards like it was no big deal, which Frank usually liked.

There was no reprimanding, just… Was it kindness or obligation?

Frank felt Jake's hand pushing his hair off of his forehead as he cleaned his face with the cloth. It always felt too intimate, making Frank want to close his eyes and pretend nothing was happening.

When he was finished, Jake threw the cloth into the sink. The sound startled Frank, making him stiffen his posture.

Jake offered him a sympathetic look.

"Sorry, man,” Jake began, placing a hand on his for a sliver of a second, “I can hear people wandering around upstairs- do you want to sleep in here for the rest of the night?"

Selfishly, Frank had always wanted Jake to offer this- he couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept next to someone in any capacity. From memory, it was Julie, but they weren’t exactly exclusive or anything. There could have been other people in between then and now- he used to pass out in a drunken stupor almost every night back then.

Jake offered him a hand which he carefully took, appreciating the warmth that emanated from his fingertips. He hoisted himself up to his feet and Jake let go almost immediately, but Frank felt himself wanting to take the hand back again.

He didn't, of course, instead just wordlessly following Jake back to his bed.

Jake handed him a blanket, hopping under the soft green duvet and patting the pillow next to his. He rolled over and checked his phone on the nightstand, as Frank hesitantly laid down next to him.

Frank felt his heart racing in his chest, keeping a careful watch on Jake’s movements.

"Do you need anything else?" Jake asked, as he rolled onto his back.

"No, that's okay. Thank you," Frank replied, uttering the first words since he'd brought himself to Jake.

The pair laid in a comfortable silence, but Frank was still yearning, if he had to put a word to it. His mind couldn't let the thoughts of Jake go, gaze lingering on the man's figure.

He couldn’t take it anymore.

He didn't deserve this. He knew he didn't. He was being selfish again, but carefully, Frank grabbed Jake's hand.

He held it so gently, so cautiously, it was as if the man's hand would crumble into nothingness if you so much as looked at it wrong.

The warmth.

The way Jake intertwined his fingers with Frank's, and held on tighter than Frank had ever dared to hold onto Jake. He held on like Frank would float away if he let go, in a way that made Frank dare to feel like maybe he really was loved, or at least liked, just a little.

"Try to get some sleep." Jake said, closing his eyes and yawning once again.

A sigh from Frank, as he felt himself relaxing just a little more than usual.

Alright.

[pink-flame]

Julie and the Phantoms Fanfiction Master List

Decided I should put together a list of what I’ve done so far since I have a feeling I’m going to do a lot more! I’m ICanSpellConfusionWithAK on AO3. 💜

Longer Works: 

Feels Like I’ve Opened My Eyes Again 

After the whirlwind her life has been since the boys showed up it’s not that surprising that Julie would be a little tired. But is it normal that she’s more exhausted than she’s ever been? With Nick acting weird, Alex and Reggie both wrapped up in their own problems and her relationship with Luke still a big question mark she has her work cut out for her if she’s looking to sit back and relax.

Basically my ideas and speculation about what season 2 might hold, or at least some of the things I would like to see. Lots and lots of Juke and found family goodness plus a healthy dose of Caleb shenanigans. 

100,000+ words, Completed.

If All I'm Dreaming is You

Sequel to Feels Like I've Opened My Eyes Again. After the events of Feels Like I've Opened My Eyes Again, Julie feels like things may finally be settling down. Of course, nothing ever seems to work out that way. Things with the band are picking up, her dad has a lot of thoughts on just how close she and Luke should be at all times and Caleb may be gone but he's left behind a whole lot of ghosts who are looking for other ways to stick around. With just about everyone in her life going through intense changes and her own newfound abilities suddenly in high demand, can Julie hold it all together and get back to that simple life she's been craving? Or is that all just a dream...

Currently updating.

We Found Wonderland 

At the end of season one Julie isn’t able to save the boys and they are jolted out of existence. But what if there was another way? Julie finds herself back in 1995 with a chance to stop the boys of Sunset Curve from ever dying at all. But will she be able to find her way home afterwards? Will she want to? Or has Alice really gone down the rabbit hole this time...

Julie and Luke as initially reluctant roommates, lots of eventual Juke, plenty of found family fun, a decent amount of angst, time travel fun, did I mention lots of Juke? Happy ending.

190,000+ words, Completed.

Heard your voice through all the noise

JATP/Stranger Things. Luke and his band were supposed to play a gig that had the potential to change their lives. Instead a fateful trip through the woods leaves them face to face with something unexplainable and they disappear without a trace, not to be seen by anyone for 25 years. Half the town thinks they ran away and the other half think they were murdered, but Rose isn't so sure. The boys' disappearance isn't the only weird thing she's noticed lately and she's determined to get to the bottom of what's going on, even if the only one willing to help is her former friend Steve, a popular jerk she doesn't want anything to do with. Meanwhile in 2020, Rose's daughter Julie is used to going it alone. Still mourning the death of her mother years earlier and stuck with the unwelcome attention that comes with being the sheriff's daughter, she just wants to keep her head down until she can graduate and get out of Hawkins. But when her little brother Carlos goes missing and she somehow manages to pull three guys who have been missing for decades over from another dimension they call "the upside down", everything changes. Now both sets of teens are caught in a battle against evil government scientists, monsters and their own hearts...25 years apart.

Currently updating.

Requests, one shots and drabbles: 

Juke Bodyguard AU (based on trope game requests) 

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

On AO3

Luke meeting Reggie (500 followers prompt)

Second Kiss (500 followers prompt)

First Date (500 followers prompt)

Julie and Luke Disagreeing on New Album (500 followers prompt)

Peppered Kisses + Illness (500 followers prompt)

Going Public (500 Followers Prompt)

Magazine Cover/Article Edit (Julie announces she's dating Luke)

Julie is a rising pop star and Luke is her new bodyguard. Julie used to think there was “no such thing as a cute bodyguard” but she’s been proved very thoroughly wrong. Can she navigate her journey through stardom and her growing feelings for the guy tasked with keeping her safe?

A Special Case

Julie knows she has feelings for her bodyguard Luke even if she’s nowhere near ready to tell him that. Still, sometimes she finds herself forgetting that’s what he’s supposed to be to her. All of that comes rushing back when she finds herself in a dangerous situation. Written to celebrate one year of writing for JATP.

ON AO3

Our Family

Julie and her former bodyguard Luke have been dating for awhile but this is their first Christmas together. Luke wants to impress Julie’s family and Julie just wants him to understand that he is her family too.

Wrap me up 

On AO3

Julie & Luke After She Recovers (500 followers prompt)

Julie is absolutely miserable. She’s caught a nasty flu and is so busy pretending to be fine that she’s totally pushed away everyone who could be taking care of her. Luckily Luke is more than prepared to step in. 

Lucky it Was Hot Dogs

On AO3

The fact that his cause of death was a bad hot dog has some unexpected perks. It gives Luke a way to make it into a joke when he needs to but maybe it's not always funny. Maybe he wishes just once in awhile that he could talk to someone about the fact that he's...well...dead. Luckily Julie is up to the task.

Like You Could Love Me

On AO3

Day After Like You Could Love Me (500 Followers Prompt)

Julie hadn't slept in almost 48 hours. Luke was waiting for her on the porch when she got home. Exhaustion + unspoken feelings and things were about to get interesting. "I wish you wouldn't look at me like that." "Like what?' "I don't know," She hesitated. "Like you could love me."

We Found Wonderland Bonus Fics

Promises Kept (A We Found Wonderland missing scene)

On AO3

Luke's reaction to major events towards the end of We Found Wonderland.

More (A We Found Wonderland missing scene)

A We Found Wonderland missing moment taking place immediately after Julie and Luke’s “first” kiss. Written to celebrate one year of writing for JATP.

On AO3

We Found Wonderland Sickfic (500 Followers Prompt)

We Found Wonderland Carnival Missing Scene (500 followers prompt)

We Found Wonderland + Flower Fields (500 followers prompt)

We Found Wonderland Willex + Pining (500 followers prompt)

We Found Wonderland Willex + Shenanigans (500 followers prompt)

We Found Wonderland Bonus Content (by myself and others)

You're My Dream Box

Julie has a different place to put her lyrics and dreams and things that don't make her sad these days.

Feels Like I've Opened My Eyes Again and If All I'm Dreaming is You Bonus FIcs

Julie & Luke + Nightmare (Feels Like I've Opened My Eyes Again Missing Scene)

Willex + Hugs (If All I'm Dreaming is You Missing Scene)

Cruel Summer (Record Label Interns AU)

On AO3

Julie Molina doesn’t sing. At least not anymore. Her dad knows this which makes his insistence that she spend the summer interning at her uncle Trevor’s record label, surrounded by all the dreams she’s trying so hard to pretend she’s let go, even more cruel. Luke Patterson has no interest in working at a record label, or any job really that doesn’t involve having a guitar in his hands. But if accepting the internship his mom found for him will get him one step closer to getting his band’s demo in front of someone who can give them their big break, he’s willing to deal with it. Neither of them really want to be there but when they collide with their delayed dreams and each other…maybe the summer won’t be so cruel after all.

If I bleed you'll be the last to know

The internship neither of them wanted hasn’t turned out to be so bad after all. Julie is finally starting to open up to music again and she’s starting to open up to Luke as well. He on the other hand is feeling trapped in the moment he let his mom down and isn’t sure they’ll ever be able to move past it. He’s determined to help Julie but can he help himself?

Part 2 of the Juke record label interns au, celebrating 1 year of writing for JATP.

ON AO3

Watch Out for That Sugar Rush (Inspired by art by grayskyluna and a post by thedeathdeelers)

Sugar Rush, Julie's band with her best friends Flynn and Carrie just got what might be their big break. They're booked to open (ok, open for the opener before the opener) for one of their favorite bands at an outdoor music festival. Julie's pretty sure it's going to be a life changing day. Throw in an oddly determined guy named Luke and some very unfortunate weather and she just might be right...just not in the way she expected.

Soft

Luke has always been pretty soft but the way he looks at Julie?That's soft.

Tell Me a Story (LOTR AU + Moodboard)

A princess without a country. A soldier without a war. Neither of them expected to play much of a role in the great events to come. But when the council in Rivendell falls apart and Julie volunteers to take the one ring to Mordor, what can Luke do but offer her his sword and his oath that he'll spend his last breath to get her there. He's not about to let the love of his life walk towards certain death alone, even if she doesn't know how he feels, even if he knows a simple fighter could never be worthy of her. But the more miles they cover, the further they get from the roles they were born to play and the closer they get to each other. Luke begins to hope there could be a future for them, but when you're facing the end of everything...hope is a dangerous thing.

Bad Day

Julie is having a bad day. No big reason, just a bad day. Luke knows what to do.

On AO3

While You Were Sleeping

AU of the romcom While You Were Sleeping. Julie doesn't have a lot going for her other than her fantasies about Nick, the cute guy she sees at work and her dreams of marrying him one day. When she saves his life only for him to end up in a coma with his family thinking she's actually his fiancee things get really complicated really fast. They get even more complicated once she meets his brother Luke and the two start to fall for each other. Julie just needs to wait for Nick to wake up and get back to her normal life only things are never that simple. It's time for Julie to decide what...and who...she really wants.

Only you have shown me how to love being alive

After a virus spreads through the world leaving most of the population dead or a carrier, zombie like creatures out for blood, Julie keeps to herself and uses rules to stay alive. It’s worked for her so far. When she crosses paths with Luke and sees the way he still manages to hold onto the things that make him human she starts to doubt her strategy. And when she starts to fall for him? Following the rules just got a lot harder.

On AO3

Our Song

A peak into that missing songwriting weekend where Luke and Julie finished Stand Tall.

Julie hasn't touched her songwriting notebook in a year, hasn't seen the point when she can't imagine herself finishing those songs without her mom. She never thought there would be anyone else she could trust with them. But with Luke? With Luke she just knows.

Written for the Julie and the Phantoms fan zine Bright Forever.

On AO3

I'll take your chaos and your crooked in a heartbeat

Julie has a lot to deal with leading up to the dance performance at her school, not the least of which is the fact that she’s trying to balance her life with her ghost band. You would think all of that would mean what she’s going to wear for the performance would be the least of her worries, but sometimes it’s the smallest things that drag you down. Luckily Luke still hasn’t quite got that whole boundaries thing down.

ON AO3