#would it have made it better? absolutely
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Between the second hand smoke and the glass on the street A Series of Small Offerings - IV/3 - day35
#a series of small offerings#sleep token fanart#vessel fanart#sleep token#vessel#vessel sleep token#sleep token vessel#vessel i#levynn tries to draw#sleep token band#sleeptoken#could i have worked on this more? absolutely#would it have made it better? absolutely#would i have messed it up if i work more on it? absolutely#so who cares if there are mistakes and the smoke it basically unfinished and the glass is barely glass-ing#and the asphalt could have gotten a touch up#but i don't mind#i finally made it#and that is what matters#i hope you still enjoy this#because at the end of the day it is not a bad drawing i think
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Wait going off the idea that Athena keeps things from her favorite people:
What does diomedes give her?
#epic the musical#The odyssey#Greek myths#Athena#Diomedes#On one hand I would love to see diomedes gifts up on the same shelf of odysseus's carvings#But on the other hand diomedes and Athena have a much more traditional mentor relationship#Verse her absolutely batshit insane relationship she has with odysseus and the love she has for the rest of the family#And diomedes prays /interacts with Athena in a much more traditional way too#So I imagine he gives her proper sacrifices instead of yeeting random wood carvings at her#Maybe this is something that happens later in life for diomedes after he's retired and founded a couple cities#He finally has time to 1. Discover what he actually likes to do and 2. For his relationship with Athena to soften into actual friendship#Diomedes (now forty): carefully placing his first actual gift (instead of sacrifice) on Athens alter#Diomedes: goddess Athena i hope this indulgence is okay. I made this for you as a gift for all the time you have spent helping me#Diomedes: now that my fighting is done i hope you will grace me with you presence from time to time. Thank you goddess for everything.#Athena: who didn't realize she was upset that her and Dios relationship never developed into friendship until this second#Athena: clutching the gift to her chest and using quick thought to scream internally#Athena: voice cracking : It's FINE#(Later Athena dragging odysseus from his bed at 3 am screaming at full volume diomedes finally gave me a gift#He's never given you a gift proof that he likes me better than you get fucked#And then disappears before odysseus can retort because she has to spend hours finding the perfect place for her gift)
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Been a while since I’ve drawn anything but guess what
A fanart! For the fic “Missing”by @zoiaeras !
Honestly it’s more of how I imagine Peter’s design to be rather than a fanart, cause usually when I do a fanart I either draw a scene or as I’ve lately been doing draw what I imagine the cover would look like (to be fair I kinda drew the breakfast scene? )
So this is more like a very small character sheets?? And the design is wrong a bit (his hair is supposed to be a bit longer but I only ingrained the choppy hair part)
Tried to keep the blue and red of his spidey suit in, but darker and paler to show the effects Gotham had on him
Honestly the fic is amazing! and the pacing is a chef kiss, and the comedy is on point for me and what I love the most about this is that it’s doing other stuff rather than just sticking to the norm of peter - Gotham crossover
Other characters are present, there is a plot being made and the characterization makes sense for the life the characters lived, and we’re even out of Gotham and introducing other superheroes to the plot like Superman and the flash and also villains like lex Luther
And what’s fun about this fic is that currently, the strongest thing Peter have is his brain, but he is still stupid outside of building stuff (I love this adorable bean)
My most favorite thing about it is probably the plot point and that things are actually happening with consequences to them that change the status que of the fic
The fic feels like a never stopping train wreck about to happen and I’m so excited to see just how big the crash will be and how sharp the debris left of it are
Honestly I can go on and on about this fic forever but that’s mean more spoiler which is a big no no
Just know that if you want a dc x peter crossover, with more justice league characters in it, this is the fic for you
#also he has freckles cause what’s better excuse to give him freckles than him being in a slightly different body?#by the way he doesn’t have a camera in the fic I know#but I wanted to have him hold something#and not just stand like a stick#also fun fact#his shoes not only is made of 30% duct tape#it’s also a signal merchandise#I would like to think he likes signal#cause he is the only day time hero in Gotham#and Spider-Man used to be a day time hero too#also nighttime occasionally but whatever#I wonder who’s his favorite bat#Damian is out already lol#but I love the beef peter have with Damian#they already act like siblings now all they need is for Bruce to get the adoption paper out of his pockets already#also did I say how much I loved the falling gun scene in the library?#absolutely hilarious#ok ok no more spoilers#guys you gotta read this#fanart#art#digital art#another fanart#ao3 fanfic#ao3#spider man#peter parker in dc
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Connected Timelines Ramble: Backing off my previous 'Geno has an ex' headcanon, what if Dust happened to be that ex? I can see them bonding over shared trauma: surviving a genocided timeline and losing their brothers.
So when Dust eventually came clean about his past, that he genocided his own timeline [and others under Nightmare], even if he felt guilty and wanted to change, the heartbreak and betrayal Geno would have felt was devastating.
Even if it was originally done to stop Chara, the fact that he continued to genocide other timelines was despicable in Geno's eyes. Dust became the very same person he hated, and all Geno could see when looking at Dust was her. He broke it off instantly and Dust respected his decision and never contacted him again.
Given that Nightmare and Dream have now been at peace for decades, they're often invited to the same get togethers. They've never told anyone else about their previous relationship, so they act all awkward around each other and nobody knows why.
#Aavarambles#dustyscarf#Geno x Dust#geno x reaper#afterdeath#geno sans#reaper sans#dust sans#murder sans#utmv#sans#I want to lock them in a room and study their interactions#These two would not work whatsoever but that's what makes it fun#Geno's certainly being a slight hypocrite here as technically tried to do the exact same thing to his timeline in a different way#But he wouldn't see his method as murder as he would Dust's. If anything he'd probably see it as an act of mercy#Even if Dust accomplished his goal to stop the resets and genocides Geno probably would believe there would have been a better way#[Even if his wasn't any better. Plus the Nightmare stuff was just wrong in all accounts which made the situation so so much worse for him.]#Geno won't admit it but now he does have a level of understanding for Dust and maybe even a bit of guilt for how they ended#[More specifically how trapped Dust must have felt under Nightmare initially constantly continuing the cycle with no foreseeable escape]#(even if they're very close now)#But Geno can't get past that initial feeling of betrayal and horror to talk to him again to just be friends#they're absolute worsties#sans au#aftertale sans#dusttale#CTLorebook
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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just scrolling looking at what the crunchyroll algorithm would spit out at me tonight when I came across this category and uh
... the best huh? Aaare you sure???
Are you really, really sure about that crunchyroll???
#this is absolutely not shiro slander dont get me wrong but uh... my man sure did fuck up some kids didnt he?#blue exorcist#blue exorcist anime#ao no exorcist#aoex#like he did his best and for the most part he was a GOOD dad but... the best???#i wouldn't quite go that far when he recruited one of his kids to be a child soldier and his brothers keeper at age 8#instilling a deep anxiety about living up to expectations and an even deeper resentment for his brother who's protection he was saddled with#and the other that he allowed to grow up thinking he was just a freak of nature destined to destroy everything he touched#when explaining what he was could have come with better coping mechanisms tools and skills to help him live in a world not made for him#& would have definitely helped him not have a mental breakdown when he inevitably found out what he was & was thrust into a whole new world#oh and would have helped him understand why he was being tossed out of the only home he knew now that he was “suddenly” not human#i may or may not have some feelings about how the Okumera boys were raised#ough the tragedy of a parent doing their absolute best they could have but their best not being enough#*takes a drag off a cigarette* poetic cinema
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' You told her she could do anything, and, for you, all she wanted to do… was be kind. '
Enver & Dirge
#|| ' we are needed at the helm ! ' || { baldurs gate iii }#enver gortash#|| ' he is my heart ; i did not have one before him ' || { dirge & enver }#lord enver gortash#dirge the dark urge#dirge the durge#durge#the dark urge#dark urge#// Lots of feelings#// I blame my friend who writes Enver for this 😂#// A collection of my art for them.#// I feel like you can definitely see the progression#// with drawing Gortash 😂#// Just two jagged and wretched people#// who could have [ and in some ways did ] make each other worse#// but also? made each other better?#// Learned love together even if it was different and flawed#// It always would have led to her death#// because no matter what she said#// she never would have killed him#// I am just#// 😭😭😭#// At least she can save him in roleplay 🔥🙃🔥#// Where she is a (trying to reform) murder cat.#// And she is absolutely cat like. I cannot stress that enough. 😂 A menace.
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You could say that I have strong feelings about this ongoing debate
#critical role#we can all have coffee on Ludinus' grave and debate the nature of morality until we're blue in the face. but priorities.#cr spoilers#bell's hells#HHHHHHH false dichotomies are not a friend#the choice is not a binary Gods Or Predathos#and you should not pick Predathos just because you don't like the other option!!!!!#anyway i have uhhhh 15 memes that i made tonight because that is who i am as a person#also. also. hey. guys. everybody.#if your philosophical debate is leading you to go 'idk maybe the murderers are onto something'#boy HOWDY you better have the information to back that up!#the thing is I'm not mad this devate is happening i think it's very realistic that people would get caught up in this debate given the given#i have just painstakingly cultivated the ability to have an argument and i have strong feelings about rhetoric#[bangs on a pot lid with a spoon] CONSIDER ALL ANGLES BEFORE YOU DOUBLE DOWN ON A POSITION#if you're curious#yes i am EXACTLY like this in a real life argument i have been told i am infuriating to argue with#both because of my love of Sources and because of my need to be absolutely dead sure of something before i get in a fight about it#which have the annoying tendency to make me like. not lose a lot of fights.
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drop the link on that fic of Zeus being a good dad?
Absolutely my friend!
As you can see, it's called Trials of Fatherhood by the lovely @z-eusie and in-between my agonies and right now, she's actually updated the fic and now the Apollo chapter is live!! Everyone should go read this fic, actually! It's a wonderful little compilation of moments that allow for showing both the ugliness and beauty of the gods when taken from a nuanced, compassionate perspective and it's always been one of my favourites to go back to every now and then just because of how fond I am of it. I'm especially fond of the Athena and Dionysus chapters myself but I hope everyone finds their favourite one. <33
#ginger answers asks#Writing#fanfic#Honestly I would do a series reviewing bomb ass ao3 greek myth fanfiction if I could#There's some genuine absolute bangers that deserve so much attention discussion and praise#One of my moots described greek myth tumblr as a symposium and if so I'm definitely the sort#who shows up each day with a new very annoying and longwinded opinion that ultimately must be discussed because it does - regrettably#have merit#Littlesparklight's portrayal of divine brotherhood and Zeus and Apollo's relationship#Is also really cool btw - if you guys haven't read littlesparklight's work you should do that also#Much more professional in flavour but the hidden subtleties are mmmmm SO tasty and good#omnomnom I eat that shit up#Okay yes this made me feel better ty for the ask anon!#ao3 link#zeus#apollo
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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I finally listened to the latest episode of the silt verses ("latest" meaning "it came out in january, I've just been really busy") and I don't want to be negative but I liked faulkner better when he was unhinged. No more pseudo-therapy or painfully honest conversations for these characters, they need to march to their doom being lonely, unfulfilled, and tragic.
#I am half joking but I do think that ''I went back to my childhood home where my father is losing his mind''#''and I got absolutely no clarity. I was denied apologies or even confrontation; he was just a frightened frail old man''#''and now I am alone trying to shout at someone who can't remember who I am''#is a much better story.#paige already got to have a confrontation with her father who made it up to her late and sideways and bloody.#faulkner should be denied that catharsis.#especially after he listens to the radio transmission from greve about how he's false and a liar and alone#it would be so satisfying. for me even if no one else.#the silt verses
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(⊙ˍ⊙)
#dai critical#dragon age critical#i'm putting this all in the tags bc normally i am more well-worded than this but this is mostly just pure hatred#so i don't really want it reblogable bc it's just ranting without depth/purpose but i am SO damn irritated#SO ANYWAY...#it's hard to believe that the team that made dai was unaware of how incredibly boring this game is#i'm trying to finish it but holy fuck#literally only the main quest is interesting and some of the companion quests#not even ALL of the companion quests#and literally none of the side quests are even remotely interesting#i keep trying to slog through it bc i need to level at least somewhat to be able to handle each main quest + i need to be able to unlock it#but jesus christ#it's like it gets more boring the longer i play it#so like the quests where you have to collect stuff for blackwall or kill people for cassandra?#those took FOREVER to finish#they needed so many different maps visited#blackwall's quest needed a special perk#they both needed access to special areas of maps that aren't easy to get to#i thought i'd at least get a cut scene with the character afterwards#but there's just nothing?? not even a brief comment to acknowledge you finished the whole quest??? just the same ones they usually make???#never have i ever played a game before that felt like such an absolute waste of time literally 90% of the time that i'm playing it#they really should have just released the main quest and cut out literally everything else and it would have been a much better game
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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it was once observed by a dear friend that the hours in which i am most alert are like 7pm to 2am which probably explains a lot about how my posts get worse throughout the evening. but also sometimes i look at today where i was just sort of gnawing the couch all day until about 5pm when i wrote an entire fic in two hours and then another entire post about kaapo which to be clear took another two hours bc i had to chase links and explain my passions in a kind way and this was in addition to a church meeting. i would excel as the person who lights and then extinguishes lamps in the night
#this morning my therapist was like your eyes are red what's going on#and i said bro i am not on drugs. it is cold and dry in my apartment and i was standing in front of a sad lamp#and they said ah. a sun lamp. i see#YES. BC I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON AND I AM BEING PUNISHED BY CAPITALISM TO GO TO THERAPY AT 10 IN THE MORNING#INSTEAD OF 6PM WHEN I WOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION BETTER#i think they think i am abusing substances. human the reason i am the way i am bc i am not abusing substances#i am rawdogging reality in almost every way and i HATE it. i am experiencing a full of range of emotions in real life!!#one good thing about today i must say. i looked in the mirror and went oh wow my california hair stylist did a good job!#my california hair stylist was good at cutting my hair in that she was filipina and understood how to cut filipino hair#she was not good at cutting my hair in that she would get too deep in explaining warriors drama and get distracted while cutting my hair#and up doing something absolutely wacko that made me look like a pepe frog guy bc she was too amped up about klay and steph#and then i'd be stuck with fucking alt right hair for a good three weeks and my only saving grace is how i look ambiguously ethnic#BUT when i saw her last i was like i need you to give me a haircut where if i can't get my hair cut for four months i don't#look stupid as hell. and she said oh yeah i can do that. and gave me a blow by blow of klay and steph's divorce while cutting my hair#and i was fearing for my life. but now that it has grown out pretty significantly i will say she did a very good job of cutting it#unlike every other time i grew out my hair in a big way and it looked incredibly stupid for several months until it evened out#but she cut it so it looks like my hair is on purpose. which i appreciate!#now i have more time to decide if i want to avenge bo bichette and grow out my hair again#without feeling stressed about looking incredible stupid and unkempt#thank you nicole...a true ally...i will never forget how much you hate kevin durant even though you stressed me out so bad...#and you may be wondering why if she gave me that many bad hair cuts why i'd keep going to her#and the answer is: bc i only want my warriors and 49ers news to be reported by an energetic filipina lesbian holding razor on my neck#and unfortunately the local newspaper beats just can't replicate that experience#fresno oilers.txt
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i must be the only boardwalk empire fan who never cared for jimmy darmody
#'the show went downhill after he died :/ ' i saw his death as an absolute win!#ww1 vet trauma. poor little rich man. oedipal issues like you Would Not Believe. hot bisexual wife. and yet he's almost Infuriatingly Dull#season 3 is my favorite season and it's made even better that i don't have to deal with his constant whining anymore#anyway sopranos got me in the mood to rewatch this. again lol#boardwalk empire#rambles
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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