#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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its interesting bc natori is trying to protect natsume the only way he knows how and natsume is being confronted with things hes never had to before and hes learning a lot of things abt himself and his worldview
#i think before the fugiwaras natsume probably wouldnt have been so stubborn abt it?#but at the same time#before the fugiwaras he wouldnt have come to involve himself so deeply with youkai#so hes being confronted with natori and his worldview and going i dont agree with this at all#and its porbbaly a little (a lot) jarring to find someone so similar to you and yet not similar at all#and natori really isnt trying to be mean i think#hes being firm bc he wants natsume to understand bc he really wants to keep him safe#but natori has his own issues to work through and while i dont blame him for how he views youkai and stuff#its a little hard to agree with him when we've seen the full breadth of youkai interactions through natsume#natori telling natsume he needs to choose a side is like. so cruel lmao#unintentionally so i think but its cruel all the same to me. bc natsume said before i think when he first met natori?#that he can see youkai. he can see and he can hear and he cant ignore them because of that#theyre the same level as humans to natsume. bc like hes right u know? theyre not all bad. theyre just different#but he can interact with both and its a disservice to ignore one side for the other#bc each 'side' affects each other you know?#idk what the fuck im talking abt it makes sense to me just trust#i truly dont know where i was going with this#like natsume lived very closed off before. and hes finally learning to like. LIVE you know? to experience the whole workd that is offered to#him. to meet new people and have new experiences and stuff#and hes letting himself do that bc he CAN now. and saying to pick a side human vs youkai is like asking him to close himself off again#and natsume wouldnt like the person he would become bc hed go back to the miserable and closed off kid he used to be#natsume is much more polite than me tho i wouldve told natori to shut the fuck up and go fall in a ditch or something#natsume just ran away#michi tag#im sure he was thinking it somewhere deep deep deep inside
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OMGGG CONGRATS ON 1K EUMY MY LOVE!!! im beyond words that describe happy for u ur such a sweetheart u deserve it sm<3 I SAW THE SCRAPBOOKS POST AND ID LOVE A SHOTO TODOROKI ONE!!!! 💗
im an enfp so im a loud extrovert, and i try to make sure ppl dont feel awkward or embarrassed around me bc im 10x worse HAHA 😭 i have insane attachment issues like i was crying so hard when my friend ignored me for a day. big lover with big emotions, hopefully that counts as an emotional intelligent person hehe<3
i am also a complete art kid and i never stop drawing, im also in choir and stage band so im basically all of the above (except sports. does watching haikyuu count?🤔) HAHAHAHA
id love a little description about our dynamic or something!!🥹 and be free w ur colour palette and do what u think deems best 🗣️!!! a song would be velvet ring by big thief, one of my favs rn<3
THANK USM EUMY UR THE SWEETEST AND ONCE AGAIN CONGRATUALTIONS ON THAT DESERVED 1K!!!
ᯓ★ SHOTO + SAKU!
★ Todoroki Shouto hated did not like you at first. The first time you two met in U.A., not once did he glance in your direction. Don’t take it too personally, he’s battling inner turmoil stemming from his complicated family life and upbringing.
★ Skipping to when he does warm up to the rest of the class, he still keeps his distance from them as he tries to test the waters. Now, you, dear Saku, are the first to invite him to have lunch together via the crumpled paper you left on his desk during free period (he almost threw it in the trash, but he telephatically felt your distress thought it might contain something important, so he decided to read it). He accepts, of course.
★ Lunch together was awkward, but Todoroki appreciates your effort to fill in his shortcomings in the conversation. So to say, he just listens to you while you ramble about anything and everything.
★ When he gets home that night, he definitely tells Fuyumi that someone invited him to eat together at lunch, and that it was nice. He doesn’t realize that he kept your note neatly folded in his wallet.
★ Do you know the concept of personal space? Todoroki does not. Whenever you’re doing something, whether it’s doodling or writing notes, he will peer over and check whatever it is that you’re doing. Completely unaware that he, too, has attachment issues (trust).
★ “Am I too close? I’m sorry, I didn’t notice.” And you guys were inches from kissing each other!
★ Romantically, it takes him a long time to understand that what he was feeling is clearly not platonic anymore. But when he does realize thus, he skips the steps in his head and wants to spend the rest of his days with you (you’re not even dating yet, and he’s already thinking of the future ten years later). Todoroki’s hesitant to engage in a romantic relationship because he thinks that you deserve someone who wouldn’t hesitate to court you and love you openly (he’s worried that he’ll end up like his father).
★ The initial dynamic is someone who talks a lot and the other listens (with the most lovestruck eyes yet still unnoticeable). When you do get into a relationship, he’ll still treat you just like when you were friends, but with a bit more effort to show you how much he cares. Acts of service & Quality Time are his love languages. This man is your ride-or-die forever and would go through lengths just to spend time with you (cue to Todoroki just appearing by your side whenever you’re not busy).
★ Whenever Todoroki talks to other people, it’ll always be, “Oh, where are Saku and the others?” You will always be the first person that comes out of his mouth, an unconscious habit of his.
★ Matching bag charms, candid photos (of him, mostly), handwritten notes that are passed to each other during class, enjoying each other’s company even if you two are just walking to the cafeteria together or him waiting for you to tie your shoelaces (he does them himself further into the relationship), finding out that Todoroki kept most of the things you gave him (especially your little notes and doodles), and the tips of his ears turn a bit reddish whenever he’s flustered—and you’re the only one to notice because it only happens when he’s with you.
#‹ 📓 ⸝⸝#“little description” proceeds to write a whole drabble-ish fic#I GOT CARRIED AWAY SAKU I’M SORRY (not)#saku and todoroki oml i shall die on this hill happily#the otp that had me rolling in my bed#i yapped too close to the sun i fear (deserved)#𓏲ׂ 📮₊˚ʾʾ#𓏲ׂ from: sweetheartsaku₊˚ʾʾ
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Omg omg omg. Hi. Ok so idk if Shintaro would tell Takane about how he killed her in Route XXX (I kinda feel like he wouldn’t) but I definitely imagine that Shintaro is extremely guilty about it and the memory of it straight up haunts him at night sometimes. Dude probably has nightmares about it every now and again
Like imagine Shintaro randomly tightly hugging Takane and immediately apologizing over and over again and Takane is just “??” becuz she doesn’t know what happened!! She’s clueless! She’s not reminded of the horrors like Shintaro is!
Anyways thanks for coming to my KageTed Talk have a good day/afternoon/night
I AGREEEEEEE I AGREE COMPLETELYYYYY his ass WOULD NOT TELL HER but he's so haunted by it!!!!
shintaro sees takane and sees the person who was by his side over a hundred times and he even once killed. augh his self hatred and shit.... i want to explode theyre so best friends they love each other so much. they go everywhere together and are always together 👍
also them hugging ;_; _; ;_; shintaro is so bad with words so resorting to a hug makes sense. there's so much art of ene always clinging to shintaro and while takane (in my delusions) has her whole thing with touch i think she's naturally really clingy and touchy so she's also like. jumping on his back and surprise hugging him all the time and he's like AUGGHHH. i love drawing shintaro&takane hugs where takane holds him bc she's the comforter and shintaro is the pathetic wet washcloth that needs hugging.
GRRR GRRRR POST STR SHINTAKA CONFLICTS COMPLETELY UNRELATED BUT imagine takane having a hard time with something and the dynamic shifts and shintaro Has no idea how tackle the situation with a vulnerable takane. sorry the bit in the seventh novel where takane gets upset for like 30 seconds and shintaro's like. I DONT WANNA EVER DEAL WITH SEEING TAKANE DEPRESSED AGAIN. means so much to me.
ok i always talk abt it, takane would just rely on haruka instead, she also wouldnt go to shintaro yknow. but man shintaro would want to help he just doesnt know how to handle seeing takane like a real person. not so much like the ayano thing where he puts her in a pedestal, with takane is more like... he's used to seeing her play a certain role and when takane moves from it bc of her own problems, he's all out of orbit and he's like Whoa what. also like in the seventh novel he wants to scream and run if he sees her upset like Haha what are you doing ur the sneering girlie in my puter STOP CRYING STOP IT STOP IT THAT'S WEIRD.
i think interesting conflict could come from shintaro insisting to takane he's there for her and she should count on him and have take him into account whenever she needs a shoulder, like he makes a big deal out of that but Then when she really needs him he doesn't actually manage to show up. OR!!!! ANOTHER FUN ONE: he goes and tells her problems to haruka or ayano or worse EVERYONE ELSE because he assumes theyre gonna do a better job than him but he puts her in the worst position of vulnerability ever that she HATES AND IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE IN. like imagine he goes and tells haruka for example. idk What. like she's having a hard time with something, probably about her sensory issues (primarily i think she'd talk to haruka, but imagining shintaro is asking her to count on him too and her actually considering it and doing it). and chose shintaro to talk but shintaro just passes it over to haruka. and takane's like. ur going behind my back telling SHIT I TRUSTED U WITH??? and shintaro's like erm erm. hehe. shes not mad about haruka or whoever else knowing, its shintaro running away that she gets angry at. sry i have a whole fic written in my head
anyways. shintaro is trying to be a good friend to takane but their dynamic is weird and strange and tends to fall back to You dont know anything about me and I know everything about you (takane) and With a side of youve known me in this life while I've known you for over a hundred other lifetimes (shintaro). they make me crazy!
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i need to lock in so i can try and do a thinkpiece for chapter 12 but that will maybe have to come later(slash never...) bc we are in the same boat and my brain is mushhhh right now so this might also be incoherent but HELLO HI i saw and read ur update so quickly i think something activated in me like nmau sleeper agent. this chapter was so cute 🥹🥹🥹 i love them sm...to my earlier ask YESSS TRUST AND CONSENT IS SO SEXYYYY ESPECIALLY WHEN CHARACTERS RESPECT WHEN SOMEONE'S SAYING NO and it's so good to see that from both sides too, i kind of said everything i have to say abt it in that other ask but really it's just so lovely how comfortable they are with each other despite the still lingering uncertainty about the nature of their relationship AUGH.
i love ryujins inner monologue all the time but just seeing how yeji seeps into her thoughts more and more over time and seeing her just bask in this overwhelming presence and her blossoming feelings like shes down BADDDDD, just this headfirst tumble from plain attraction into (almost) love i love themmmm.
ik we love seeing sexy top yeji but her cutie side is JUST AS IMPORTANT!!! soft pouty yeji im so...shes so...and her unfaltering desire to do whatever she thinks will make ryujin happy like even though she had already said it was fine they weren't hooking up, still offering just omg chill. i love her. sometimes she needs to think about herself first though. but thats just adding back on to my earlier point like ryujin is there and counter balances where yeji's mind might go and reassures her that yes she does actually like yeji as a friend before anything else.
i love the level of intimacy they've reached in this chapter...playing with fingers while cuddling always gets me like . we are seeing each otherrrr its so important. and the soft kisses without leading into anything else like AAGHBH THEYRE SOOOO the way u write them is sooooo........
let me add the little bits i did have from 12 thinkpiece i half started ummm.
first of all. yejiselle IM NODDINGGGGG THEYRE LITERALLY SO GREAT i love aetzy i love their friendship u literally give them such a fun dynamic even though theyre not the main focus. second of all. i really appreciate the way you explore that quieter, more contemplative side of yeji, like we all know she's a talker but this yeji(all of your yejis really) feels so steady, so calming, so safe. the kind of warmth that puts you to sleep because of how relaxed you feel etc etc. third of all... when ryujin gets a little bit mouthy and then they start a playful banter oh exactly and the ROUGHHOUSING YESSSSSS like u literally get it u literally understand everything
ok back to business. i really like your descriptions of like. scenery. like even just beyond actually describing it the way you do it makes it feel like actual characterization both in the way things in rooms are set up and the way whichever pov character notices and describes things its so great.
...the eager beaver shirt...ur sick....i also love when we get to see snippets uve posted show up in whichever fic theyre from
i think that's all for now i might come back again later if i think of anything else im dying to comment on, also i saw u got around to my other ask and i loved reading ur answer so much like we literally are seeing eachother abt everything. (and dont worry about taking a while to answer them, i totally get it). as always. thank you and take care!!!
-🖤
omg i will eagerly await a chapter 12 think piece no rush no rush 😁 (and never is good too lol i feel you very hard on the brain mush issue godspeed friend)
i love showing consent and trust and stuff and one of my goals with nmau ryeji is to show like just them having this comfort and compatibility and mutual respect from really early on. like it’s not too hard to get through the slightly messier and more uncertain parts of getting together when the foundation you have is so good and easy! like do they know how to ask each other out? no! is it still worth it to keep trying? i’d say so!
god yeah yeji is SO much more present for ryu than she used to be like early on if yeji wasn’t physically there ryu wasn’t thinking about her so constantly but now…. she’s down just as bad as yeji is lol i love it and that’s what it’s like when you’re into someone… like everything is about them and you don’t even realize it
part of what makes sexy top yeji so sexy is the fact that she’s also this cute and pouty softy like she’s just all around precious and then she says or does something more 🥵 and it’s like oh…
but yeah it’s also really important to me that they had this baseline of friendship first. like you don’t need that for a good relationship (i literally met my wife on tinder so we dated in a very straightforward way lol), but for these two i really like it’s necessary for them to both get to the places they need to be idk
playing with fingers is so important….. especially when it’s something that irl ryeji be doing like please ladies 😭 and they both have such nice hands too 😭 (something that may be coming up in the chapter i’m currently working on lol)
i love aetzy so much they’re so fun n cute! (i also love yeji and jimin’s friendship, but it didn’t work out narratively in nmau sorry girl. giselle specifically felt like a perfect non-athlete friend for yeji to have in this story specifically i’m glad she has a role.
i really see yeji as such a steady, grounded, emotionally intelligent person. it’s very strange to me when people boil her down to like yapping and being clumsy (which are both parts of her that i adore), but like i think the more and more we get to see of yeji when she’s not in pure like Idol Mode (like in her instalogs) it just proves more what was already clear. she’s like a calm, observant, contemplative person and idk i think that’s really neat. ryujin has literally said if she’s the sun yeji is the moon like… it’s fascinating how little we truly know her (and i will stop my essay on how incredible i think yeji is as a person and continue to keep addressing it in my writing lol i got carried away)
also YES roughhousing is so important like they’re just acting like two kids with crushes which is what they are!! any excuse to get a little physical with the girl you like lolol
and thank you! i really try to make scenes feel grounded. sometimes i’ll do a first pass where i just focus on dialogue and internal monologue and then i go back in and choose like the setting/activity and try to flesh everything out
lol i definitely got a bit carried away here, but thank you as always for such a thorough and lovely comment!! i love chatting about all this stuff so so much it’s one of the best parts of writing in this amazing little community! 🥰
#that's a long answer LOL#anyway yeah gosh i don't have much to say in the tags this time i think i said it all lol#asks#nmau#🖤 anon
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ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.
they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.
more under the cut bc i talk too much
by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.
when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.
so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.
that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.
it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.
and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.
almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support?
i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them.
and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.
for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it
white people don’t add on to this
#important#antiblackness#george floyd#death mention#ok to rb#more than ok but#here it is 😇#ill rb this everyday if i have to
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on the whole idea of the boys when they're older interacting with kids, what if one day a kid comes in with his family who's like rly shy and timid, like not bc of abuse he's just rly shy and with his family who are perhaps quite boisterous and he's not and he gets quite anxious and there's a whole thing where the boys are able to bring him out of his shell ;~; like when he and his family are sitting down for a meal dean comes out with their food and makes him relax bc hes so good with kids. he comes down during the night bc he heard a noise and got scared and cas is down there cleaning up for the night and talks to him about nature to calm him down and the boy is like :)) and then the next morning he's outside and there's other kids who are playing with sam and he's off to the side but sam notices and is able to bring him into the play and he ends up making friends with the other kids, and then by the time the family have to leave the inn he's like smiling and happy and he turns to his parents and is like 'can we come back here soon :D' and it's this rly nice moment, maybe from his perspective so we get to see others reactions to the boys :))
ALSO AS I WAS WRITING THIS I HAD AN EPIPHANY WHAT IF THE BOY IS JACK. DOESN'T NEED TO BE BUT IT WORKS KINDA WELL!!
awwww this is so cute!!! Maybe this could be combined with the prompt about cas helping the family with an autistic child and helping the parents understand their kid better....like maybe the kid is autistic and so he has a hard time talking sometimes and is withdrawn bc of difficulty interacting with others. and dean is so good with kids, even if he can't spot right away that the kid is autistic like cas would be able to, he can tell when he comes out with the food that the kid is in distress. like he's like and here's yours sir :) to the kid (dean is very polite but he is calling the kid sir as a bit of a joke to make the kid smile) and the kid like doesnt look up and the parents are like oh sorry he's just shy. and dean is like oh. hmmm. cause the kid has like his fingers clenched in his tunic. when he comes back out he like crouches next to the kid to make him feel more comfortable and is like hey :) i'm dean :) and the kid doesnt look up or say anything and the parents r like sorry he gets like this idk why. jack look at the nice boy and introduce yourself. (i didnt watch the later seasons but from what i see on tumblr.edu the consensus is that jack is autistic so!) and dean is like no thats ok he doesnt have to look at me/talk to me. and then to jack he's like. u know i have a friend who doesn't always look at people or talk to them and we get along just fine. so i think me and jack are gonna get along great :) and then to jack he's like. you know. my friend and i dont always talk using our voices. sometimes we use our hands! (i guess this is post meeting eileen- i've said this on a different post but once dean cas and sam r introduced to the concept of sign language they adopt it immediately bc cas feels so much more comfortable communicating like that when he's having trouble w/ words) and jack is like ??! so turns towards dean w/o making eye contact, clearly intrigued. and dean is like :) wanna see? :) and jack nods. and dean shows him a few basic signs and jack mimics him. and one of the words is upset. and then once jack learns it, dean signs "you upset?" to him. ;~; and jack nods. and dean is like. wanna tell me what's up? maybe i can help! and then jack does the shy kid thing of indicating with body language that they dont wanna say what's wrong out loud, so dean leans in and jack whispers into his ear "loud." and dean is like oh! i see! we can fix that :) can i tell your parents what you just told me? and jack nods. so dean says to the parents (who r looking on in bemusement) its a bit loud in here for jack. mind if i take him outside for a minute? and the parents are like oh! sweetheart why didnt you tell us? (they arent bad parents they just dont get jack and its the middle ages so its not like there is info out there) and jack shrugs and the parents sort of helplessly shrug at each other, bc jack not verbalizing issues is a common problem for them. and they r like um its ok u dont have to take him outside we will take him. but do u mind bringing our food outside and stuff. like can we eat there. and dean is like of course no problem! and theyre like r u sure? im sorry that u have to go out of ur way for us, im sorry about our son, he can be. kinda fussy sometimes. and dean is like literally dont worry about it!
so then jack's parents take him outside and they all eat on the porch, and dean keeps popping back over to check on them. and jack is clearly much happier and starts to become much more verbal now that he's not overstimulated. still shy and quiet but much more smiley and every time dean brings them something he's very quietly like "thank you."
omg! maybe dean notices that he's not eating his food and so he's like do we want something else? and the parents r like omg no omg im sorry he's just so particular about what he likes omg the food is great jack pls eat ur food dont be rude. and dean is like he's not being rude at all he's a very polite young man :) id be happy to bring something else out. and the parents r like. well. if you're sure...he likes things that r like. boring. like really really boring. like plain porridge with nothing in it and stuff like that. and dean is like mashed potatoes? and the parents r like yes! and jack perks up. and so he brings that out for jack. and he brings it out and the parents r like omg omg thank u SO much for going so out of ur way for our weird kid even tho he still wont look at u at all. they dont say that part they're not assholes to jack, its implied tho and jack kinda curls into himself bc hes embarrassed about causing problems. and dean ofc notices and is like. u know. my friend who talks with his hands can be very particular too. he doesnt like the noise in the dining room either, and he also only likes certain foods. and jack perks up again :)
ahhh he keeps coming out to check on them and he's like hey how u doing? and!! oh no maybe dean also taught him the sign for happy and he signs "happy" at dean ;~:
to be clear- dean doesn't make the connection that jack LIKE like cas, as in he's autistic, at least not yet. like i think he WOULD if he had more time with him, but cas is the only autistic person he's ever met, and he just met jack. dean def just thinks he's very shy, but he's great with kids and can tell right away that jack is upset, and he shows him the signs not cause he realizes that jack is actually non-verbal in that moment but because he really doesnt care if the kid doesn't want to talk to him, he just wants to help. and he shows him the signs and stuff bc he wants the kid to tell him whats wrong, but kids wont tell strangers that if u just ask upfront, you have to gain their trust a little first ;~; and dean understands all of this instinctually bc he's great with kids so he manages to figure out whats wrong and solve the problem even without realizing that jack is autistic. ;~;
the person who figures out that jack is autistic is definitely cas!! jack comes down in the middle of the night maybe not cause he hears a noise, maybe he just cant sleep bc he hates his routine being disrupted and being in a new place ;~; and the sheets feel all wrong and everything smells wrong and everything is different and he hates it ;~; so he comes downstairs maybe be he's crying and he doesnt want to wake his parents up. and cas is downstairs cleaning up still, it's totally quiet tho now so there is no overstimulation. and cas is like oh! a tiny person!! uuhhh.... he def panics a little bc he's not good w people and he's not sure what to do with a random crying child. maybe he briefly considers waking dean up bc dean is good with kids and also maybe he saw dean talking to jack earlier. but then hes like no dean is tired i dont want to bother him ill try to deal with it. and hes like um. hello. um. my name is castiel i am the owner of this inn. um i guess u dont care about that. um. r u ok? and then the kid signs "upset" ;~; and cas is like oh! bc thats their signs! so he signs "what's wrong, why are you upset?" back even tho like it's just their home signs so how would this kid know them. but he signed "upset" so cas responds kinda on instinct. and the kid does not understand anything other than upset bc dean only showed him like 5 signs and he kinda already forgot the other ones. but it doesnt matter! bc those r hand words like dean was talking about and showing him! which must mean this is his friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking!! and jack is verbally like. r u dean's friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking. and cas is like um? yeah i guess? thats me. and jack is like ! i am very particular too! and bc he trusts dean and now by extension cas, and believes dean about cas being "particular" like him, he doesnt feel embarrassed about admitting what's wrong. and he spills his guts hes like everything is WRONG i dont like how anything feels or smells or tastes and everything is different from how it is at home and i HATE it and mom and dad says thats rude but i dont want to be rude but i cant sleep bc everything is all wrong!!! ;~; and he says all this not looking at cas and waving his hands around his head. and cas is like......................................................................oh. hm. i see. this is Me.
so he's just very empathetic and is like im really sorry i totally understand, you're not being rude, i also feel that way whenever we travel and i also am very selective about what i can touch and eat and stuff and am very sensitive to the physical environment. i know i cant fix it all but is there anything i can do to help you feel better? do u want to try some different blankets? and he takes jack to the linen closet and is extremely patient as he brings down each blanket and lets jack touch each one and decide which is the best. and it DOESNT solve everything but just having someone take him seriously and listen to him makes jack feel so much better and hes eventually able to go back to sleep ;~;
in the morning theyre outside, sam who's like 16 or whatever is chasing the kids around playing tickle monster. and jack's parents try to get him to go play with sam and the other kids but he doesnt want to he's too shy and anxious. and cas keeps staring at jack like :( bc he KNOWS but he doesnt know what to do about it. he brings it up with dean and dean is like OH. i see THATS what was going on with him he's like you! and cas is like yeah :( idk what to do about it...
sam sees jack hanging around with his parents on the side and he's like hey! do u want to come play? and jack is like................ and his parents r like sorry hes really shy. and sam is like thats ok! i have an idea, why dont we change the game and we can play hide and seek! (bc that doesnt require jack to jump in to interacting with a big crowd of kids) he's like :) i bet u can hide real well! :) and jack is like! :D and he nods bc hes like whoa i CAN hide really well! and they play hide and ofc sam is the seeker but when he finds the kids he always kinda turns it into man hunt cause he's like ah HA i got u!!! and he chases them around. and eventually he finds jack and hes like mwahahahaha now im gonna EAT you!!! and jack like screeches and giggles and bolts away and sam chases him and the other kids, and basically he like tricks jack into playing the exact same game they were playing before by like easing him into it by not making the start of the game require walking up to a crowd of ppl. but then once they r in the game he's ok just running around with the other kids :)
meanwhile dean and cas watch this and dean is like. do u want to talk to the parents. and cas is like. :/ i dont know how to do that. like how would we even start that conversation. and dean is like. i can help u :) so he does! he's like hey u remember i was talking about my friend to ur son the other day? this is he! u met him when u were checking in! ive noticed that he's like really really similar to ur son and has some of the same issues, and we were wondering if u wanted to talk about how cas deals with some of those things? and basically dean eases them into the conversation and makes it unintimidating for both parties. and cas teaches the parents all about the concept of sign language, and how going non-verbal is more than just being shy, and like they start describing situations in which jack was like Weird theyre like one time he started screaming and crying and rocking in public we didnt know what to do! and cas is like well where were u? what was going on? and like helps them identify the kinds of sensory things that probably trigger jack and stuff. and just like. its a good convo.
omg and cas is literate by this point and maybe the parents r too and hes like. if u ever wanna write to me and ask me about more shit and whatever pls dont hesitate. and then they DO and basically they help this family understand and raise their autistic son and its great!!! :D
anyway this is a VERY long response i definitely just outlined a mini-fic here.
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Mr & Mrs Kitty (An Introduction)
A new Blackinnon series by MarlMcKitten and PadsMcfoot
As so many of you know I have trouble letting go of past plots. And I spent three years working on a beautiful Blackinnon one with a friend. Unfortunately that story has come to a close but to keep it alive I want to share it with all of you. But since I also have commitment issues with writing an entire story at once. This is going to be written differently. It is going to be a number of short or long snippets of their lives in no particular order. This first ‘chapter’ is going to be a short, point form introduction to the version of Blackinnon that I will be sharing with you and all the important side characters that come with it. (Mainly bc my new Blackinnon is sooo different and all my plots are gonna shift a little now.) Thank you!
Marlene McKinnon:
your 70′s bombshell
loud, outspoken, unpredictable, wild
she fell in love with Sirius the day he arrived at Hogwarts on a motorcycle, grown out hair, new tattoos and a brand new family (The Potters)
she didn’t admit it for a while though
eventually they fell in love
she didn’t die with her family
but she was devastated
and pregnant
Bellatrix used occlemency to make her believe that it was Sirius who was killing her family
that was what made Sirius go to Azkaban
Marlene ran away, she made her way because she had to, she was pregnant and that was now the last living member of her family and the McKinnon line
she worked in shops, she kept a low profile and she did not tell anyone who she was
she gave birth to a beautiful young boy and named him Lynx McKinnon
the boy looked so much like his father
she would cry watching over him, her mind so conflicted on how Sirius would do that for her when her heart knew he wouldn’t
it was years before she saw Sirius again, but one day she just had to talk to him so she went to Azkaban to visit him
he believed she was dead and she asked him how the hell he could do that to her and her family in her emotional rant she let it slip that she had his son
this prompted Sirius to break out of Azkaban, finding out that he had a child and that Marlene was raising him all alone
Eventually they met up again, and Marlene ended up believing him. She always knew in her heart it couldn’t be true.
This Marlene was so much more grown up, (being a single mother wil ldo that)
They went into hiding again, now at Grimmauld Place. Lynx was terrified of his dad. It broke Marlene’s heart and she did not know what to do.
Years later, the war ended, her family was back together. Sirius never died and she wanted to add to her family.
They had two more children. Halo and Aurora Black.
All Marlene ever wants is for her whole family to get along.
Sirius Black:
such a rebel
such a rebel
but he has a weakness
blondes named Marlene McKinnon
he’s infatuated
you think James is bad? You should see Sirius around Marlene.
he never thought he deserved a happy ending but he got it with her.
Well- for a while. Before she died and he was framed for the murder of her and her entire family.
What was the point of living after that?
He didn’t see one.
Years passed. Nothing mattered and then one day ... “Hey split ends.”
He has a son.
He would not be the same shit parent that his were to him. He has to get out.
And he does and he finds them. It doesn’t take much convincing. His Marlene always trusted him.
But Grimmauld Place and all those childhood nightmares are back. He cannot be a father or anything to Marlene.
So instead he drinks.
A lot.
Too much.
He feels Marlene getting distance. He can tell Lynx hates him but he can’t stop himself. And he hates himself for it.
He dies. Through the veil .
But miraculously he finds his way out. Just in time to save his Marlene and his son during the war.
Him and Marlene lead all the Slytherin children out of the castle, away safely. (Even Pansy Parkinson.)
Marlene never forgives McGonagall for locking her son in the dungeouns during a war, but Sirius knows she was doing her best.
Him and Lynx never get a great relationship.
They’re always rocky. But he gets another chance with Halo.
This pushes Lynx away even more but Sirius can’t help it.
He tries to make peace with it and then Aurora comes.
And oh Merlin how he loves Aurora.
They have a very special bond.
Sirius is a great father to Halo and to Aurora and he tries to be for Lynx too.
It takes so much time.
But he has his wife, his kids and Sirius gets the life he never knew he deserved.
Lynx McKinnon
Sirius lookalike
he hates it
he hates his father
but his mom is everything to him
She works a lot when he is a kid, so he tries to help her out.
One day he pleads her to go to the fair with him. It’s the last day, all the other kids have gone and she promised. He is only 7 at the time.
He meets a lonely little girl named Juliet.
They become instant best friends and for the rest of his life no one will ever matter to him quite like his Ma and Juliet do.
Then he is sent to Grimmauld Place, away from Juliet. And he is so scared.
His father terrifies him. The house terrifies him. He sleeps with his mom most night.
Hogwarts comes and he goes there, an escape. And there he finds Juliet also. She’s a muggle born witch and the world is restored!
He protects her when he is sorted into Slytherin and she is a Hufflepuff.
But he misses his mom dearly.
He befriends an ambitious and beautiful young girl named Valencia Mae.
They also become close. The three of them are happy with just each other.
One day he realizes that he is in love with Valencia and he asks her out.
She says yes.
She comes from a very rich family so he tries his hardest to impress her.
Lucky for him, she has some daddy issues.
He learns that he is a very talented artist.
When he decides to persue his dreams as an artist Valencia dumps him.
He is left devastated.
Lynx drops out of school, he leaves everything behind. He leaves his home.
He’s a little dramatic. (Don’t tell him that he gets that from his father.
But years, and years later, he is reunited with Valencia.
They’ll get a chance at their own happy ending.
Halo Black
such a mama’s boy
but so protective over his baby sister
loves his dad too
really a family guy
from a young age he wants to have his own family one day
he’s a little spoiled but doesn’t know it
doesn’t like Lynx much, doesn’t get why his brother doesn’t love his dad like he does
Lynx tries to tell him that growing up with a single mom then going through a war is much harder than growing up in a mansion with two happy parents and the Black family fortune
Halo doesn’t see it.
He has a lot of back problems.
He’s awkward and so clumsy it could put Tonks to shame
he looooves his (very much alive) Uncle Remus
He wears cardigans and he is a hopeless romantic, after a girl in his year who he idolizes in his head
they are doomed to always be in love but not have anything ever go their way
truly tragic but the love story Halo always wanted
Aurora Black
if Halo is too much of a mama’s boy he’s got nothing on how much of a daddys girl Aurora is
she can’t function without her father
and her brother
oh boy is she spoiled
and optimistic
naive
honestly just not that smart
but has the purest heart and the best intentions
she is always trying to get along with Lynx even though she doesn’t even meet him until she’s about 6 years old
she loves Lynx’s art
she messages him all the time, and never gets a response
she is bullied a lot for being air headed.
And it gets bad.
Some girls play a nasty trick on her.
She is turned into a werewolf.
It breaks Sirius’ heart the most.
She would have been killed if Halo hadn’t have saved her life.
She then keeps to herself more, believing that she is ugly and a monster.
Remus helps and Tonks helps but she thinks she will forever be alone.
After all Remus was until his late 30′s.
But she still manages to keep a smile on her face.
She really loves animas.
Her life ambition is to open a bakery with her father.
She never wants to leave her family
She can even melt Lynx’s heart when she really wants to
but man is she s t u b b o r n
and as sweet as she is she can piss anyone off with her stubbornness to always get her way and not see anyone else’s
Juliet Buchannan:
Lynx’s best friend
not the brightest, but very honest
she keeps Lynx from going too hard, he keeps her grounded
but they both really like getting high together
and talking about aliens
Lynx around Juliet is very different than regular Lynx
she happens to love Sirius, calls him Mr McKinnon and he loves it
Calls Lynx Kitty.
Calls Marlene Mrs Kitty.
She goes wherever the wind takes her
Carefree.
Despite her very lonely childhood.
Her father was abusive and neglectful.
She spent more of her time with Lynx and Marlene
They are her family.
Works in Disneyland when she is older as a face character.
She literally just wants to see everyone happy all the time.
But she makes a lot of bad decisions and always has the wildest travel stories
Valencia Mae:
the love of Lynx’s life
BDE
she gets what she wants
her family exploits muggles to make their fortune
hardcore business woman
loves fashion
never goes anywhere without her Louboutins
she really isn’t that into the wizarding world and hates Hogwarts
but still gets good grades
ambitious AF
dont mess with her
seriously don’t
she will also stand up for Juliet once she is forced to take her in
dating Lynx means dating Juliet as well
really not the jealous type though so she doesn’t care
just a bad bitch in fancy heels
wine
Lyra
the girl Halo is way too in love with
she is not easy to love
she is so troubles Halo just wants to fix her
they are on again, off again faster than anyone can keep track
she has a small thing for Lynx and also one for Sirius
she has serious abandonment issues
the bottom line is she just wants to be loved and accepted but doesn’t know how to be
she does not have a strong sense of self-identity
Sirius really takes a liking to her, and is kind to her, she misjudges that and develops her tiny crush
but it is always Halo she loves
she just doesn’t know how to
she’s there to create the drama without meaning to
Lynx hates her, but she’s good at art so he helps her with that
Valencia and her would kill each other if given the chance
Aurora adores Lyra
Marlene hates seeing a girl break her baby’s heart
Just so lonely.
#blackinnon#sirius black#marlene mckinnon#au#everybody lives#let's see how this goes#fanfiction#in progress
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hi!! for the match up thing i’m indian-american, 5’6”-5’8” naturally rapunzel-length, wavy hair (brownish), glasses, brown eyes, corner dimples, aquarius, i’m an ambivert, i love video games, editing, reading, writing, sleeping lol, and i’m not good at drawing but i like doodles and coloring. i love k-pop (casual listener) and some non-kpop songs & i love watching a lot of anime & reading BL 🕴🏻 & manga. i get closed off in groups because i get anxious and i get negative thoughts and how i’m probably not even wanted there bc of bad experiences. in public i can get suuuper anxious because i’m rlly sheltered bc of my parents and i get all shaky. same like in public w/o my parents like i get shaky and an anxiety / panic attack and want to cry. ive never experienced things bc of my family like ‘normal’ stuff like the beach, traveling, ice skating, movie theaters and stuff. i hate it and i dont have the best relationship with my family they can be really toxic sometimes and the whole anxiety thing and that makes me feel really depressive and su*cidal sometimes for a while. i love physical affection and being shown that or told words affirmation. but irl i get awkward and shy w physical affection bc ive never experienced it and idk how to do it. im good thru text, irl i can keep a convo going. thru calls i get shy and nervous, especially if it’s the opposite gender. my face gets red easily like i blush a lot and it’s not hard to make me flustered lol. when i get like that or don’t know how to respond i just giggle bc idk what to do or say. if im sad and going thru it i make jokes to cover it up and laugh it off, one time someone just asked ‘are you ok’ after i did and my voice cracked ‘no not really’ and i started crying 😃 i keep stuff to myself (unless i trust that person to tell them stuff nd open up to them) i do have trust issues and i’ve never rlly had friends irl my parents are strict and never let me go out. online i dont rly have much friends either. im rlly observant, and like descriptive / detailed as u can tell 😭 kinda sucks thoo because a lot of people don’t read what i say bc they said they cant b bothered n it’s too long but i just get rlly engrossed into things & dont half-ass stuff and just wanna explain everything properly 😭 i can be sassy and give attitude, and i can be mean. BUT i never do that to someone unless they did me dirty. i dont like arguing. that side of me can be shown thru arguments but only again like if the other person is doing the same and is being mean and disrespectful to me first. i do have a lot of patience and endure things until it’s become like a problem? i make sure to communicate. i never ignore people, i’m not petty unless i have a good reason if they did something to me. i’m really funny i swear 😭 and i can be emotional / sensitive depending on what it is but i know when someone is joking but i know when things are taken too far and i have boundaries. i take caution when meeting people bc trust issues so i’m not that clingy unless i 100% like can count on them and comfortable with them trust them etc. i like teasing friends but just for fun and won’t take it far and make them upset or anything. if i ever hurt someone which i make sure not to i feel super bad and apologize a lot and make sure to never do it again. i try to keep my cool to refrain keeping myself from getting mad but the times i have gotten mad are reasonable and it has to be something super upsetting for me, i dont get mad w/o reason though and i start to angry-cry and yell but i try not to say anything that ill regret and make sure to think of what im saying. i love memes, idk how to describe my humor tho 😭, i’m diligent and considerate! i try to show i care thru actions and words of affirmation and quality time etc. i make sure to remember important stuff someone tells me abt themselves. i have a really good memory i don’t forget things that easily. i care for others a lot and im trying to take care of myself more now too but it can be hard. i’m not a liar i can be really blunt and honest. SORRY ITS LONG 😭
I match you with..
Lemillion!
I’m a firm believer that understanding opposites can bring out the best in each other. Mirio helps you come out of your shell. He loves to stroke your hair, and sometimes playfully pulls it. He is your partner and your best friend, so doing thinks like Pictionary or playing games today are a common occurrence. Joking and cuddling turns into a must for the two of you and you discover how much you love your head pet. His dependable personality provides a safe place for you, and you get the chance to trust in someone fully.
He appreciates how you are careful to watch how you act when you are upset, but loves how full of emotion you are. Seeing you cry breaks him on the inside and he just wants to scoop you up into hugs. Knowing that you have that big goof there helps you with your social anxiety. If someone is talking too much to you and he sees you getting overwhelmed, he will skillfully direct conversation away from you. Mirio gets very protective of you around your family. He constantly holds your hand and you two have established a safe word in case you want to leave. Mirio is more than happy to scoop you into his arms and run away with you. He is so emotionally intelligent and sensitive with you that you feel so safe and secure. If you could use one word to describe him it would be ‘home’. For the first time in a long time you begin to realize what family is, it’s mirio.
Knowing that you haven’t tried many things, you two make an effort to try new experiences together. He often flirts with you, despite the fact you two are together. He brings out the more sexual side of you. You compliment him and flatter him. He loves how much you appreciate him. You two take care of each other and your time is full of laughs.
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OH UH FOR THE ASK THING HAVE YOU DONE SHINSOU HITOSHI AND UH.. KENDO ITSUKA?? (Orange haired girl that beats her 'son' monoma neito he has rabies)
I HAVE NOT DONE EITHER OF THEM THANK YOU FOR ASKING ECHO AHH I SHALL TRY TO MAKE YOU PROUD
shinsou:
favorite thing about them
he’s just a funky lil dude. just like midoriya he hasnt given up even tho some setbacks have happened on his road to achieve his goal. he knows what he wants and on god he is going to get it. rlly makes u root for him
least favorite thing about them
hes so like,,,he thinks he has a moral high ground almost?? compared to the hero course kids. like when i first watched his fight w midoriya i actually rlly disliked him bc he’s going off like “ohh you dont know how hard it is” like??? even discounting the fact that midoriya was quirkless until less than a year ago, he doesnt know him at all?? he doesnt know what he’s been through?? jesus dude chill out
favorite line
“im not giving up. ill show them i can be in the hero course and become a greater hero than all of u” when he’s talking to mido after their match. idk man like i mentioned earlier, he’s so determined it rlly makes u root for him. also this was like a promise that we were gonna see him again so HOoo,,,yeah
brOTP
shinken (shinsou nd kendou), monoshin, shinkami, shinkure (shinsou and hagakure)
OTP
SHINIIDA shindeku SHINKIRI please,,,and a lil bit of shinoji,,,
nOTP
ehh romantic shin-kami just isnt my cup of tea but i understand why ppl like it!! its rlly cute its just not my favored ship dynamic i suppose. also dont be gross abt him and the adults i havent seen anything but i dont trust this fandom dkfjk
random headcanon
bro’s a lil colorblind. cant see diff between red and green. only reason he guessed mido’s hair and eye color right is bc the word green (”midori”) is literally in mido’s name
unpopular opinion
I DIDNT LIKE HIM AT FIRST,,,HE FREAKED ME OUT,,,i mean i love him now and he’s listed as one of my favs but i RLLY DIDNT LIKE HIM AT FIRST,,,i thought he was kinda a brat and i didnt like how he brainwashed others to be on his cavalry even tho like objectively it was a smart move
song i associate with them
welcome to my life by simple plan
DJNKSJKSJNKD IM KIDDING
but hmmm,, sleep is for the weak by the dreadnoughts
favorite picture of them
HHHH SMILE EXCITED BOY,,,,
kendou:
favorite thing about them
SHES SO CUTE,,she cares so much for class 1-b and i just appreciate her personality a lot i think she cooperative, earnest, nd focused i love that for her
least favorite thing about them
hmm this is hard
perhaps that she doesnt seem to try to talk to monoma abt his obvious inferiority issues?? she just hits him and drags him away. and like it makes for a good bit and i know it’s not that deep but u know,,
favorite line
“us at ua have grown beyond ever thinking there’s no hope!” PLEASE THAT’S SO GOOD,,,she says this when she’s fighting mustard w tetsutetsu. it’s so good just,,love positive characters u know
brOTP
kendeku (kendou nd midoriya), kenmono (her nd monoma), shinken (shinsou nd her)
OTP
literally her and all of the class 1-a girls JKDJKFJK, kendotetsu (can i say power couple)
nOTP
mmm romantic ken-mono just kinda rubs me the wrong way i prefer them as sibling-esque friends
random headcanon
she’s rlly into american media nd stuff bc when her quirk first manifested, her dad was like “oh that’s a lot like khamala khan’s power in the marvel comics” so she got rlly into those and it evolved over time to her become a full-on westaboo djkfjk. she’s rlly lowkey abt it tho bc she’s a lil embarrassed abt it
unpopular opinion
i get the mom jokes r fun but kendou is actually more like class 1-b’s collective sister, not ma
song i associate with them
hmmmm feeling ok by best coast has a similar vibe that she does
favorite picture of them
SHES BABY,,
#THANK U FOR ASKING ECHO THIS WAS FUN....#kendou itsuka#shinsou hitoshi#c makes a word#answer#kendoubowl#kendotetsu#shiniida#shinkiri#shindeku#shinoji
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melts into the floor.......................... that episode was so good................... it was SO good...................
like fuck dude i dont even know what to say i love nishimura & kitamoto so MUCH bro i can’t handle this im gonna PASS OUT i want 30 more episodes about just the two of them and natsume i need it....... o hmy god......... fUC im a mess
when natsume told kitamoto he wants to stay in this town forever because he loves it here 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that line fuckin DECKED ME i CANNOT handle when he says shit like that i CANT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HES SO HAPPY HERE it’s the ONLY place he’s ever really like really been happy, how could he ever want to leave, or move on? the sad way he says “i know it’s probably impossible, but i’d like to stay here” is so............. that feeling of being in such a good place, a time of so much happiness, and knowing it can’t last forever, existing in this way indefinitely.... GOD that hits hard
also i love LOVE how both stories were about not only their individual experiences befriending natsume but ALSO both involved youkai in some way like god fuck oh my god i die for any scrap of that shit w/ these two??? i kno its literally the last thing natsume wants but PLS i love the idea of them getting involved in youkai stuff so much i NEED it ghggngh
Natsume Is Their Weird Friend And They Love Him Very Much god nishimura finds him passed out in the woods and IMMEDIATELY runs over to help him and all but DRAGS him to his house to get him to rest like PLEASE that is the aggressive nishimura love we like to SEE, that “if ur not gonna take care of urself then i guess I’M just gonna have to do it HUH” attitude he has ghgufhghg nishimura’s like “take care of yourself Or Else 🔫”
ALSO when kitamoto hears natsume talking to the youkai and assumes he’s getting bullied and FLIES into the room BOTH TIMES ready to defend him hello???? HELLO?????? that is some A PLUS SHIT MY DUdES, MY BOYS OUT HERE READY TO DEFEND MY BOY WE LOVE TO SEE IT,
when natsume mentions that he also lives on the second floor of his house and nishimura’s like woah that’s the first time i’ve ever heard him talk about himself hhu huuoOUH UUOHGOUHUOOU UHUOUOHUHUGHHGHhhH natsume slowly opening up to them......... letting himself be a little more honest w them...... WAIT THAT THOUGHT MAKES THAT ONE EPISODE SO MUCH SADDER the one w the culture festival and the theme of the ep was being honest w/ his friends and how much he can trust them with etc
they can get him to come out of his shell and smile more and spend time with them but no matter what they do he can never open up to them fully, there always has to be secrets between them, he has to keep a whole side of himself hidden from them oh noooooooo aaaaAAAAAA
AND THEY NOTICE when he’s being guarded too, they can tell when he closes himself off like that AAAAAAAAAAA nishimura talking about natsume’s fake smiles and kitamoto talking about his eyes like glass oughgoughuhfuofhghh no matter what they do there will always be moments where natsume hides himself from them again and they can’t really fully understand why so then you get scenes like that one in the culture festival ep where they urge natsume to be more genuine and honest with them and natsume instantly clams up again and they just have to accept that and i just. they just :(((((((((((((((
(but the fact that they’re able to get him to open up even as much as he has is....... i hope they realize what a huge fucking deal that is)
other things from this ep tho, nishimura yells at natsume about the paper cranes and then later after everything’s resolved he helps teach him how to make them......... he’d said it’s something every kid learns to do but the fact is that natsume didn’t learn so he helps him learn now and GOD it’s just like the bike thing all over again i SCREAM natsume getting to experience things now that he never could as a kid is just an instant fucking KO every goddamn time and nishimura and kitamoto are so often the ones making it happen and i just DIE ok i die fuckin hell gOD,
(sidenote back in the library when nishimura’s like “why don’t you just ask touko to help you learn why do you have to come to the library and learn from some book” and natsume’s like “i wanted to make sure i could actually do it before offering to help with the cranes” hoo OOOUHHHHH
wants to make sure he’ll actually be useful.... doesn’t want to embarrass himself by failing to be helpful and wasting her time AS IF she would see it even REMOTELY like that god she’d be so touched whether he could make 500 or 0 of them bc the fact that he offered to help at all means a lot more than he could ever imagine PLEASE i fall to the floor)
and the fact that nishimura’s issue is wanting natsume to rely on him more... when he blows up at him that’s his main deal, like. holy shit. this youkai has attached itself to him and is amplifying his stress and frustration to the point that he takes it out on natsume and even then it’s not “you’re weird, you’re a freak, leave me alone, stop talking to me,” it’s “why won’t you rely on me? why are you so distant? i’m trying so hard and you won’t even look at me” and that’s so monumental, especially in natsume’s case like. i think in a weird way that meant a lot to natsume??? like fuck, nishimura runs off and natsume goes after him to save him from the youkai, and afterward, when he’s talking to nyanko sensei, he says that nishimura is a good guy and that he’s important to him like..... LIKE........ FUC NISHIMURAS SO GOOD FUCk
and then there’s when natsume speaks so openly and genuinely about certain things that kitamoto’s surprised because social norms categorize those kinds of things as too embarrassing to just outright say to someone, and he’s like “hmm he really must not have learned those things when he was younger huh” (which, A) but then later, “i’m glad he’s able to be open like this” 🥺
i also LOVE how much this ep focused on each of their individual lives, like with nishimura’s brother and kitamoto’s sister & father...... Things That Make You Love Characters Even More ghfhgh like my love for them has always been mostly within the context of their friendship with natsume, but this was the first time they actually stood out as individuals and HEY it turns out i love them both on their own merit too WOWIE i love them theyre so good hey nishimura and kitamoto???? ARE GOOD
in conclusion i just....... they both meet this boy and think that he’s strange and quiet but they both give him a chance and accept him for who he is and it’s so good they are so so good this ep fuckin annihilated me thank FUCKING god it exists im gonna bask in it forever now holy shit thank u aaaaaaaAAAA
#retag later#ny blogging#i could LITERALLY go on about this FOREVER#i could keep adding more and more paragraphs to this i can never emphasize enough how much i love this episode#im so weak. i am SO weak#i have to post this before i think of more things to add i'll be here forever aaaAAAAA#good ep. thank god. THANK god 💕💕💕💕💕
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I'm so angry and disappointed. I'm so frustrated with my own self too bc no matter how hard I try I can't even force myself to hate you. I have numerous reasons to hate u but I can't. I guess I'll never be able to.
What's so fucked up to me is how you can just erase me like I'm nobody to you. How you can flip a switch in your brain and I've suddenly become your enemy. How you so easily can make so many promises to me, how you can look me right in my eyes and lie to my face so easily, and how you act like you've done absolutely nothing to me or act as if the things you done were something insignificant and dumb and I'm just being overdramatic about them. Like the shit you did shouldn't matter just bc of shit i did 5 years ago or simply bc u hated me so those things were justified.
To this very day you have no respect for me and treat me as if i meant absolutely nothing to u. I don't think you will ever understand how bad that hurts me Jasmine. You, of all people in this entire world, broke me down piece by tiny piece until there was nothing left of me. You drained me of my last bit of sanity, hope for love, and I will never let another human being get close to me again as long as I'm here on this earth. You took all of that away from me so effortlessly, carelessly, and easily. I never meant anything to you and I wish like hell I knew exactly what made u hate me so much that you'd even consider doing the things you've done to me.
In some sick and cruel way, I believe u got some kind of enjoyment out of watching me fall apart. You enjoyed knowing you could go do whatever you want and come back to me whenever you got ready bc like a dummy I'd always be there waiting. I was so stupid and foolish to even think any of your promises were sincere. What made me look even dumber was the fact that I believed you and in you. I had faith in you. I was so gullible and blinded to believe that the person you used to be was still somewhere inside of you. That loving, honest, sincere, faithful, and LOYAL person u used to be had been dead and gone years ago and you kept showing/proving that to me. Yet i kept fighting to bring her back. I kept praying, hoping, and wishing that someday I'd get my baby lovey bear back. I failed to even try and believe the things you were so effortlessly trying to tell me with your actions. You've been trying to tell me that you didn't love me anymore for so many years. I was trying so hard to be/say/do everything you wanted just to make you love me. I pushed the things you were doing to me so far in the back of my mind that i allowed myself to become blinded. I just kept telling myself that you were lost and didn't know what u were doing at the time, every time I would think about the things you did.
Truth is, you knew exactly what you were doing. You knew exactly what risks u were taking. U knew exactly what u were jeopardizing. You knew. Yet you still did it anyway. You didn't care and still don't about what happens to me or my life. You have no idea the amount of pain that causes me. Its honestly like I'm loving the shadow of a person who never existed.
The way you left me, I would've never left you like that, even if i did hate you. All those years we spent together and you just leave me like that knowing I was broke. I would've never in a million years plus some, NEVER left you like that. I would've bet my entire life that you wouldn't have ever done that to me.
When you came back in my life, the one thing you would always say was, "The way I left you last time was fucked up and I know it. I got my karma. I'd never leave you like that again." Something similar to that anyway. But guess what, you left me even worse than you did the first time Jasmine. And u don't even care. How can you not even care?!! I have no words to even describe the pain. Words couldn't even come close..
In the beginning i wasn't much of the person I should have been. I had issues and addictions. I wasnt really worth your time. I put you through hell and for that I will forever be sorry. If im being honest you terrified me, no one had ever saw me the way you did. No one had ever wanted me the way you did. No one had ever made me feel the way you did. I had walls that had always kept me safe and kept me braced from the world but you... you somehow made them fall over time with your undying love for me, even when i was awful. You saw me through the worst times of my life. If not for you i wouldnt be here today. you saved me.
To me, we had a beautiful bond and an amazing love. You were everything i ever wanted and i couldn't believe you were mine. Maybe looking back that is where the trouble started...I had such guilt for who i was and how i treated you at the start and i felt so lucky to have you that i started to compromise on the things that were fundamental to me. I started to give way more then i received and i started to let you think things were okay that honestly weren't. I let you start to walk all over me and looking back maybe if i had stood up for myself then, instead of just feeling like i owed it to you for sticking with me then maybe things would be different today..
I stood by you, i did any and everything for you. I let you take out your anger on me. I would pretend to sleep until i knew you were asleep so i could just make sure you were okay. I was watching you hurt in a way i couldnt fix. I didnt know how to help, so i decided to just be everything and anything you needed. I put my entire life aside and made you my priority, my world. I dont regret it, you needed me and i was there without question.
This is where it started to go downwhill, you were changing into someone i didnt even recognize and the worst part is you couldn't even help it. Our life had become one full of fights and make ups only to fight again shortly after. You were pushing me away and i didnt know why. I dont even think you knew why, so i took all the hateful words, the poor treatment, the lack of time invested and the lack of love being shown and made it into excuses for you because of what you were dealing with. Looking back i dont think this helped you the way i thought it did. It taught you that i was always going to take it. I was going to let you walk all over me and i was going to apologize when i didnt do anything wrong simply to avoid a fight. It didnt help, you left me in such an agonizing way. i was shattered, my entire life had just fallen apart and i was lost. You were my world and you were just gone!!
I was your friend. I was your family. I was your lover. You are a person that could have been any number of things to me. Heartbreak plays no favorites when it chooses people in life to let you down. I really always had faith in you. I trusted you and the promises that you made to me. I believed in your aspirations and disregarded your ambiguity. I let you in, against my best wishes. I relentlessly defended you. I saw the beautiful parts of who you were. I made plans with you and kept them in my head like a guaranteed magnificent destination. I loved you. I gave you all that I had and now I am left feeling empty and cheated. But do you know what the strangest and most unbelievably frustrating part of all of this is? I forgive you.
Your betrayal shook my foundation. Not just the foundation of us, but the foundation of everything I thought. All that I believed about love was up in the air. I wasn’t sure about anything. It wasn’t just about you. I was now questioning everything.
The truth is, you didn't really love me. Maybe you loved the idea of me. Maybe you loved having me around because I would have done anything for you, but if you really loved me, you wouldn't have destroyed me the way you did. That's not love.
I loved you so much that I lost sight in everything else, especially myself. I glued myself to you so tightly because I was so terrified of losing you. Lets be honest though, you were never really mine to lose, were you?
You always treated me so coldly, and I couldn't ever understand why when all I ever did was love you. Sometimes the harsh words you used still stay inside of my head.
I was never good enough, or at least that is how you would treat me. I was always wrong, I was the crazy one after the break up, it was never you. It was always me. You were poison to my heart, and I wanted so badly to save you, but I couldn't. You destroyed me mentally and emotionally to the point where I can’t even feel emotions anymore. To the point where I am literally completely numb to feeling anything or having real true emotions towards anyone or anything.
When I met you, I knew. I knew in some way, shape, or form, you would hold incredible significance to my life. I knew you were going to be a constant. I knew you would change me.
Yes, we had our disagreements, but we always made our way back to each other. I always felt you in my heart, there was nothing you could do to make me that upset for long. I already needed you. I knew, the second I held you close to me, I knew, that this was it for me. You were it. All I wanted, and all I would ever need.
You have issues, my love. Internal struggles with yourself, external issues with your family and others around you and it weighs you down. I never have held that against you. But the struggles you faced made it impossible for you to love me the way you wanted to, the way I needed you to. Still, I held on, praying you would stay with me, praying you would get better. Through all the fights, the petty disagreements, and the abuse, I stayed. Why?
I loved you blindly of course. I loved you without restrictions, and without caution. I loved you wildly. In my head, I knew you could be better. I wanted to see that happen for you. I wanted to help you get to where you should be. I believed in you. I loved you so deeply, I would have, and did do, anything on Earth for you.
The truth is, you are not who I once loved. That person is gone. That person took some of the deepest parts of myself with them. I will always love them.
Had you tried for me, love, had you tried for you, we would have been in love forever. But you didn’t, and sitting around waiting for you only made things harder on me. I’ve accepted the fact that the you I once knew is gone.
I didn’t want to move on from you. I hoped in the deepest cell of my heart that you would come back and sweep me up and make things better. But eventually, I chose to move on. I chose to heal myself. I chose to fix what you shattered. It didn’t come easily, and nearly everyday is a struggle… but I have to. You are the love of my life, but you are long gone now...
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[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need
[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!
hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?
I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling
the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful
the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day
I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress
here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)
now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.
now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing
so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there
let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school
another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis
there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear
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troye sivan. demiboy. he/them. / nicolas “niko” goldwater just pulled up blasting coming of age by foster the people— that song is so them! you know, for a twenty-one year old social media influencer/fashion guru, i’ve heard they’re really -mercurial, but that they make up for it by being so +gregarious. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say a shiny pink vinyl skirt with pristine nails to match, designer shopping bags weighing down twiggy arms, and margaritas with extra sugar around the rim. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble!
hello friends ! i’m lainie, she/her, cst, and i talk about stephen king too much :/ im!! so excited to introduce u to niko my fashion baby and to get to know all of ur amazing outstanding totally unique never been done before muses !! under the cut u can find a very lazy intro with some summarized points and i’d promise a real bio later but lich rally who am i kidding lmao anyway i have a p full day but ill be around for plotting n stuff so come smash a heart and ill slide up in ur dms or hmu in my ims or on discord (starslut#0877) whichever works best for you MWAH
background/history
niko grew up right here on the upper east side, born and bred into the life of new york’s elite and while his attitude doesn’t entirely reflect the sort of pretentiousness we get when we think gossip girl, he definitely exudes an air of wealth and privilege and of having a limited view of what the world is really like outside of his trust fund bubble
for all his ostentation and lack of control when it comes to the wealth at his fingertips, he’s always maintained a very genuine humbleness and sense of humility that, while not always strong, is definitely there. it can be seen in his passion for helping people through what he does--his greatest thrill in life is to know he’s helped people find themselves through fashion and self care
his dad is a wall street trader and entrepreneur and they’re new(ish) money. he got wealthy very young so niko grew up knowing nothing but a life of luxury. his mom is a socialite, and his relationship with them is about what you’d expect. they love him, he’s their child, but they don’t take a huge amount of interest in his life. their blasé attitude toward him was highlighted most in his mind when he came out to them at 15 and they just......didn’t really have a reaction. weren’t upset, weren’t really surprised, but weren’t necessarily proud or happy for him either
when he came out a couple years later to them as non-binary it wasn’t much different, only in that they didn’t really get what he was saying whereas “gay” was something they could understand
he did two years of school at nyu and dropped out because he simply wasn’t enjoying it and was making enough money through instagram and youtube and brand promotions that it felt like a no-brainer decision
again, his parents weren’t happy about it, but they didn’t fight him over it, either
his following is growing exponentially and he’s just released a line of scents and perfumes that, on top of the revenue from everything else, makes it so he hardly needs his trust fund anymore
personality
gregarious and extraverted sometimes to a fault, niko can easily get on the nerves of people who don’t have the energy to keep up. he’s like a child who never quite grew out of adolescence, and with that boundless energy also comes a selfishness he’s usually unaware of. it can be very difficult for niko to be conscious of the way his actions affect other people and ends up hurting those close to him that way
in that same vein, when he does realize what he’s done, he’s more often than not consumed with guilt over it and will go to great lengths to try and resolve the issue
not that he always does a good job
he sleeps around a lot mostly because he enjoys it, but partly because he doesn’t know how to have a relationship. the lingering adolescence makes it so he doesn’t have the necessary awareness of another person’s needs to be in a stable relationship and he manages to a large degree to convince himself he doesn’t care and prefers being single anyway
fashion is his favorite thing in the world and though he doesn’t wear a lot of makeup on the daily, he definitely dabbles and has a lot of fun experimenting
catch him exploring the city and taking pictures, partying, clubbing, brunching, and shopping on the regs and if he’s in a Mood, you can usually tell bc he goes on shopping binges and fusses to an extreme degree over his appearance
also he he dyes his hair platinum blond
and his pronouns are flexible! he usually uses he/him referring to himself but genuinely doesn’t care whatever people feel like using
connection ideas
gal and gay pals :’) for fashion and shopping and instagram photoshoots
also a best friend ride or die pleaSE and thank u
i need enemies and angst and drama so give me everyone who hates niko/thinks he’s a fake bitch/can’t stand him
high school connections are cute so maybe someone he didn’t get along w back then and does now/vice versa where they were rly close and something turned them against each other and now it’s world war 3
COLLABS ?? youtubers/influencers/instagrammers he’s worked with or regularly collaborates with
a parental figure/figures :( since he doesn’t have much of a relationship w his real parents
umm!!!! someone who like they DONT get along usually and everyone knows they’re weird frenemies but they VIBE SO HARD when theyre drunk and partying
one (1) ex who lasted maybe like 3-4 months and it didn’t work out either bc they cheated on niko (would love this angst) OR bc niko was too flaky for them and they couldn’t handle the way niko doesn’t rly understand intimacy
someone who can challenge!! that!! and it’s freaking niko out bc he’s starting to catch Feels but doesn’t know what to do w it/doesn’t know if they feel the same way
casual hookups/one night stands/maybe a hookup or two from back in high school and they’re either on good terms and just friends now or like....it’s angsty maybe!!!!!!!!!
#excessintro#whew im so good at being a mess#this isnt even gna show up in the tags yet probly but we going ✈️ bold 2day
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hi im the anon ! i dont remember what i said >
and I’m alarmed by the fandom mentality. Maybe HT means good - but how would we know? we don’t have access to his thoughts - but we must judge his actions, and his actions are for the least very troubling. It’s always abt coercing Mo and not respecting his boundaries. I see the trope “when she says no, she means yes” here and once again, the fact the fandom swallows it uncritically (bc HT is a poor, hot tortured boy) is alarming. Forcing Mo to wear his gift stinks of “this is my possession, don’t mess wt him” 2/5
Maybe im pessimistic n its actually to protect him by distance, but once again he totally disregards Mo’s will. What if he doesnt want to be protected ? what if he doesnt want to be an object to be pass around between self-entitled psychos ? The first step to protect and help someone is by listening to them. I hope Mo will react strongly and will tell HT that by saying this, he’s no different from She Li. And i hope that would provoke HT to self-reflect a lot - smth he lacks tremendously. 3/5
That being said i love HT and tianshan! And what i love is how realistic and flawed they are. Theyre both hyper violent, distrustful, and severly lacking in communication skills. Im thrilled to see how theyre going to evolve -for the better or the worse, both is good for me. But i’m very disappointed by the fandom reaction like “ooh how cute hes possessive it means love!” or “actually its not bad doing HT doing that bc his intentions are good”. 4/5
And I will be vry, vry disappointed if OX decides to follow this trend and to not show how this kind of actions is detrimental to their reliationship and use the tired and dangerous trope of “being violent means that you care”. I trust them to be more nuanced than that bc until now they are great at drawing grey relationship. So yea i hope next chapter, tianshan plunges (before being better). Anw sry for the rant, and plz continue the good work !! 5/5
phew. there’s a lot to unpack here – but I agree wholeheartedly with you. since this post is already kinda long, I will put my answer/explanation under the cut!
the parts that I bolded in your asks are what I intend to focus on in this answer. strap in, because this is going to be a long one.
before anything, let me put a disclaimer: I love He Tian. I love Guan Shan. I love Old Xian. I love tianshan, and I love where they are headed in the manhua. does that mean I also love where tianshan are right now? no, it doesn’t. and I’m here to explain why I look forward to their potential rather than their current relationship’s dynamics.
one of the hardest parts about being in a fandom is being able to separate fiction, reality, and morality. this is especially hard when a fandom is as old and endearing as 19 Days, and when you fall in love with & are rooting for all the characters. furthermore, 19 Days is not a tragedy. of course, when Jian Yi disappears, it will be tragic. but otherwise the majority of the manhua is a comical, romantic slice-of-life plot. as such, it’s easier for what would usually be seen as blaring issues/problems in tragedies to be disregarded for comedy or, in some cases, romance in a comedic, romantic slice-of-life.
this is exactly the case with tianshan. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: He Tian’s current relationship with Guan Shan is not healthy. he doesn’t listen to Guan Shan. he doesn’t respect his personal space. he doesn’t know where to draw the line. he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with him, and thus resorts to violence or threats. tianshan just have a problem with communication. and, sure, maybe it can be chalked up to the fact that they’re young and stressed and don’t know any better. but that excuse is almost as bad as the “boys will be boys” excuse, and that doesn’t make it any better nor does it justify their actions.
He Tian’s idea of relationships is so twisted, and as I talked about in a previous answer, it can probably be stemmed back to his trauma with the puppy Cheng took away from him. I won’t get too deep into that since I explained it in detail in that answer, but keep this in mind nonetheless: He Tian grew up in a family of violence, distance, miscommunication, and lies. it’s all he’s ever known, and that’s what he’s applying to his relationship with Guan Shan. does that make it right? no, absolutely not. but he’s learning.
when Guan Shan had a panic attack at the restaurant, He Tian learned that people aren’t robots/pawns to use at his disposal and rather have their own strong emotions/backgrounds that shape them. thus, he brought Guan Shan home without a word. when he had his night terror and woke up to Guan Shan holding his hands, He Tian realized that there are parts of Guan Shan he still doesn’t know and, potentially, an aspect of their relationship that they’ve only started to uncover. thus, he thanked him without preamble and with a bowed head.
what I’m trying to say is that He Tian does have good intentions at times, but not always. he’s learning as he goes, because god knows he didn’t have a family to teach him how healthy relationships should be. there probably is a part of He Tian that only wants to protect Guan Shan against She Li, but he certainly doesn’t show it in the right way. he acts possessive because he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose what he loves (*insert flashback to the puppy*). again, does that make it right? hell no. jealousy and possessiveness are not cute and are entirely unhealthy in a relationship. the fandom should view them as such, but should also keep an open mind when considering He Tian’s background.
and honestly, the reason why I’m focusing so much on He Tian right now rather than Guan Shan is because if it were up to Guan Shan, he would’ve dropped He Tian within the first few days (maybe even hours) of meeting him. but because of He Tian’s persistence, Guan Shan has no choice but to be involved with him and retaliate when He Tian verbally/physically/emotionally attacks him. nonetheless, Guan Shan has tried to walk away from He Tian on multiple occasions when He Tian’s teasing became too much, and on those occasions, He Tian has given in. (ex. I can’t find the exact chapter, but there is a chapter in which Guan Shan refuses to use He Tian’s fork to eat He Tian’s leftovers, and he gets up and says, “I’m going home,” to which He Tian replies, “Fine, fine, I’ll buy you new food.”)
so yes – tianshan certainly have flaws. He Tian holds too much power, and Guan Shan can’t catch a break. the fandom romanticizes their interactions, but if you take a moment to think realistically and recognize that character flaws are essentially bad but also critical for character development, then there is an even balance in the readers’ relationship with the manhua. don’t support He Tian’s violent interactions with Guan Shan and claim “omg He Tian loves Guan Shan sooooo much when he forces Guan Shan to do XYZ,” but rather support the fact that he hasn’t physically manhandled/harmed Guan Shan in many chapters. support and celebrate He Tian’s development, not his flaws.
and as for what you said about Guan Shan telling He Tian that he’s “no better than She Li”? while I don’t think He Tian is truly as bad as She Li, I actually think that would be a painful, great, and pivotal moment in their relationship. after all, the most consequential scene in tianshan’s relationship thus far has been the kiss. at that moment, Guan Shan had told He Tian outright that he disgusted him and to leave him alone. since then, I don’t think He Tian has ever looked so… taken aback. unsettled.
and guess what? their relationship has only gotten better since then, and He Tian hasn’t touched him like that again.
I don’t know, anon. it’s a tough call. I think tianshan have a lot more chapters ahead of them, and I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on bad terms. actually, I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on the terms that they’re on right now. they can only improve from here on out, but how Old Xian will go about showing that improvement is unknown to us. there are many paths this story can take, but rather than worrying about what might happen, let’s focus on the here and now. let’s focus on the problems at hand, and let’s focus on the development the characters are undergoing.
don’t ignore the wrongness/cruelty of characters’ actions, but don’t romanticize them either. if you do, you’re only doing a disservice to the character’s personality, existence, and the author’s intentions.
(and as for this newest chapter specifically: I see why people can get excited about He Tian telling Guan Shan to wear the earrings. He Tian wants to verify to both himself and She Li that Guan Shan is with him now. that Guan Shan is no longer under She Li’s control. who doesn’t love a little verification of their OTP’s relationship, especially when it involves an enemy?
but at the same time, it’s unhealthy. Guan Shan doesn’t have a say. he’s being handed around like an object. I don’t think this is pessimistic thinking; I think it’s the truth that no one wants to acknowledge/hear. but I’m not saying that tianshan is wrong in this chapter; I’m saying that He Tian has good intentions, but he’s not showing them correctly. and there will be a chapter in which he does show them correctly, but we must travel this rocky road before we get to that point. patience is key, and I cannot wait until He Tian and Guan Shan reach that moment of clarity. you can’t have light without the dark.)
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@hopegained asked: ship: THEM bc i am Curious and i wanna bother u
Ship Meme || Not accepting!!
Under read more due to size!
- How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals? Most times they end up falling asleep with each other and waking up with Rayquelle in Eron’s hold due to the nightmares she has she seeks the comfort and warmth! DAILY RITUALS UH YEAH they try to go out at least once a day and have a ‘date’ and stargaze. It’s a way for them to relax, be in each others presence but not have to worry about others.
- How’s their team work? Do they share well? Ray is a very independent woman but since joining the resistance she has had to partake inmore team activities. Eron understands her Hesitance and works with it or around it so they can get their task done without making her uncomfortable.
- Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection? Ok so this is a big thing. In the beginning stages of their relationship no one knows hell not even they really do. Eron needs alot of trust because of the walls around him and the second layer around his heart and Ray respects that. He tore hers down before she go into his so thats something she has to accept. They don’t really come out about their relationship I think ever it just kind of becomes natural and people start to see the looks in their eyes when they look at each other. Public display of affection follows the same rules and I actually think Eron is the first to break that (I answered an ask like this) Where he would have to make the conscious decision to partake in PDA.
- First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight? NO IT WAS NOT! So when they first met they payed no mind to each other however, they don’t really count it because it wasn’t anything big it was her introduction to the resistance when she was found. The real start for them was when he found her stargazing in a spot he thought no one knew about. Eron was probably unfazed at her but Ray was curious. He looked scary, not gonna lie maybe mean? But biggest of all. he looked almost... like he’d seen so much and it hurt him and she wanted to alleviate that because she too had that for herself.
- Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes? Ray for Eron: Love,Babe, Baby, Eldin, Honey, Dear, and her favorite My Stars Eron for Ray: Love, Babe, Baby, (I’m sure more but YOU WONT GIVE ME MORE ALKDJ:LK)
- Any tasks that are always left to one person? Cooking is Ray’s thing she will fight for that!
- What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could? N O T H I N G! Both Ray and Eron treasure the other faults and all the only changes they want are to themselves. ( Ray also hates sometimes how he’s so tall she has to ask him to bend down for kisses sometimes)
- What do the like best about their partner? WOW uhm Ray loves everything but his heart is the best. He has been through so much seen so much yet still trusts her like he does and loves her like he does and that warms her to the core of her being. She wouldn’t trade it for the world.Now for Eron I don’t know if it’s what he likes best but i feel like it’s along the lines of a similar thing. She’s been a child of abuse and was flat out kidnapped yet still gives him so much even on her worst days. She always shows him hes loved and cared for and makes it known she treasures him above all else.
- Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death? Yes they do. They’ve discussed marriage and children especially. They both would like them and also don’t want them.
- Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public? Drives; either Cooks; Ray Handiwork; either but usually Eron Clean; Both Pays the bills; Both handles the public; either
- Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries? RAY IS A FIRM BELIEVER IN HOLIDAYS YOU BET YOUR ASS ERON GETS SPOILED ON BIRTHDAYS WITH BOTH SEX AND FOOD AND PRESENS AND ON THEIR ANNIVERSARY OMG SHE GOES MAD WITH IT. She believes everyday you should celebrate your partner on days like those shes got the right to be everywhere with it
- Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon? S o weddings. Ray wants to marry Eron thats a fact. Will the get married? Thats a hard question because i feel like in the canon verse they never feel really a NEED too. They dont need a ring to tell them that they love each other. But in any AU with them as a ship or in a verse where they do get married. They don’’t want anything big only those important to them their marriage is for them not their friends and family. Its about them giving themselves to each other. The proposal would be cute and heartfelt and could be as simple as Eron kissing her neck and just “I want to marry you...” or her after a night of him grounding her form a nightmare she just “I want you and me forever... let’s get married Eron” The honeymoon? They dont need fancy yet again just each other. Take it as an excuse to give it all into each other with no interruptions
- What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up? THey both stargaze, Love shooting blaster, she loves just domestic cuddling , and they always when able eat together
- Anything they both dread? Becoming those they hate and losing those they love honestly those are the biggest. Ray’s TRUEST fear is Embrent will return and kill eron and force her back under his thumb
- How adventurous are they? Eron more so than Rayquelle haha I could see him guiding her around her hand in his as they explore things though
- Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat? Rayquelles poker face is absolute shit.
- What would make them break up? Would it be permanent? UHM HONESTLY THE FEARS BECOMING TOO MUCH AND EVEN THEN THEY’RE BOTH LOYAL AF SO IDK IFIT WOULD RESULT IN A BREAK UP
- What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other? The dates they have are usually very mellow and no stress consisting of mainly stargazing or holovids and cuddling.
- What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up? Arguments are almost none existent minor little battles of wit do happen but for the most part full arguments don’t! BUT on the occasion they do they get alittle emotional. Make up consists of lots of just quality time. maybe some sex who knows.
- What does their home look like? Their room? Their home thanks to Ray is clean and tidy with a set spot for everything! The same applies for their room.Their things are in no set sides of room for the most part its where ever it works
- Do they share any interests or hobbies? GUNS, KNIVES, STARGAZING, BEING PARENTS TO JAEDEN AND EVELLYN HAHA
- Does their work ever interfere with the relationship? Not in a serious method. It does spark some fear in both parties and there are nights where they get genuinely upset the other isn't there and have a horrible time sleeping. Unable to get a lick.
- How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort? listen they just soft bbs
- Any doubts about the relationship? Both have doubts because of their history but never about each other. The doubts stem of “They will leave me like everyone else” in Eron’s head and Ray is scared she will lose him like she lost her parents. The minute comfort finds her Embrent returns and kills Eron in front of her. But in Eron himself? She knows he loves her undoubtedly and that he will always. Now she can only hope he knows she feels the same.
- How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?
- How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families? Leia and Luke I imagine love that they’re so good for each other. Family on Ray’s front wel uhm.... like i said leia approves haha. Everyone in the base loves it because it softened Eron and brought Ray out more and shes more sociable.
- Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up? Well N love we both are kill happy for them in TROS SOOOOOO but i do want to write them being parents be it au or whatever UPDATE THEY HAVE A SON AND A DAUGHTER JAEDEN AND EVELLYN
- What are their vacations like? Together literally thats the thing. A vacation for them could be their bedroom. As long as they’re together
- How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness? RAY INSTANT PANIC ON EMERGENCIES! They are both nurses when the other is sick haha
- Could they manage a long distance relationship? IT WOULD WRECK THEM they probs could but like alot of them is physical interaction and with her nightmares it would wreck eron watching that with nothing he could do to help. Ray loves to hug and cuddle him to tell him she LOVES him and not doing that and watching him have a rough patch? nope wrecked
- Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something? They know when the other is hiding something eron especially but ray has gotten good at noticing for him. Another thing is with finishing sentences. Eron could probably but he doesnt engage in it much but shell do it whenever she can!
- Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous? They dont get into trouble really
- What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions? Ray gives presents when she feel like it tbh. They range from hobby based to food and anything in between. If she thinks of eron when she sees it its gift material.
- Do they have any pets? Eron best get his woman her own BB unit
- Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw? he brings out in ray allowing her to open up and she the best in him because they are actually
- What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness? The weakness is how much they self doubt themselves. they rely so heavily on each other that it may be SEVERELY detrimental if one dies
- How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross? they would kill and die for another
- What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do? They both have a think for oral so there’s a fair bit of it haha. Ray has an immense thing for praise in the bedroom so often when they have sex its very personal and intimate full of declarations of love and eron calling her a good girl ;) they can get kinky but like thats a whole other think im sure
- Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love? Uhm ray accidently confessed so she started it, Eron probably kissed her first one of the they just stared at lips until someone took that plunge
- Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to? Ray wants to take him to what she was told was her home so she can find out more about her childhood. Other than that none that i can think of in terms of places. OH! Their stargazing spot!!! Special memories though their first time kissing, with each other intimately, ALSO A memory eron will never forget is walking in on his lady cooing to their daughter promissing her so much in life.
- Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often? They aren’t big party goers but they still enjoy a good drink with friends. Ray is HYPERSEXUAL when drunk and kind of a hyperactive person
- Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them? HAHAHAHnope they will not hesitate to call shit out
- Do they talk often? yes!
- Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for? They trust each other with their life and most things are open but there may be nights where they need the privacy on emotions and just need to be in their mind for a bit. the other always respects it.
- Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets? heartbreaks and regrets are still up in the air with them they still have time to grow but dreams? well ray wants to have a family. which they later get.
#YOU COULD NEVER BOTHER ME LOVE#[✥] ( answered ask // ╯❛ Here is what I say ❜╰ )#(⭐️ ich habe Hoffnung gewonnen als ich mich in dich verliebt habe ⭐️) Eron Skywalker || hopegained#(⭐️ Ich sehe dich an und alles verschwindet ⭐️) Eron & Rayquelle#hopegained
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