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#why isn’t this my real life
haetrack · 8 months
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thinking abt haechan being so dirty while fucking you this fine evening… 👤
i think he’d be so desperate to cum, not caring about the trail of wet kisses he leaves all over your upper body as he pounds into you. you can feel how your slick sticks to his thighs, how your slick gushes out your tight hole and around his cock.
“pretty baby,” he mumbles into your neck, “so fucking wet… my baby’s getting so dumb just by my cock.”
it’s true, you think. your mind filled with only thoughts of him as he thrusts into your wet hole. you can feel him panting into the junction of your neck, his whines harshly ringing in your ears.
one hand slips to your boob, wet from how he was fixated on kissing and marking your chest earlier. he squeezes, fingers teasing your hard nipple. his other hand finds your clit, messily rubbing at the wet nub as you moan out to him.
“hmm? need more? my baby needs more?”
you nod at him, drool slipping past your lips. he moves to look at you, his tongue reaching out to lick at your face, moaning out at your taste. he can feel you clench harshly around him, “gonna cum for me? cum for me so i can give what you want so bad.”
you whine out, the feeling of him being so close to you and the messiness of it all getting to your head as you cum around his cock. you can feel him twitching inside of you, and as much as you’d like him to stay inside of you, he pulls out.
he moves his body up over your chest, jerking himself off to the pretty sight of your face. you open your mouth for him as he cums all over you, marking you in such an intimate way. he moans out at the sight, his body buzzing with desire.
he moves to lick his own cum off of you, feeling his tongue move across your face. he then kisses you, and you can taste him on his tongue. you whine into the kiss, and he chuckles against you.
“god, you’d just let me do anything to you.”
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lotus-pear · 28 days
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just finished shido’s palace in persona 5…………..devastated beyond repair
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m00n-pr1sm · 1 year
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Amy Dunne Character Analysis
Disclaimer
This analysis will be of Amy’s character from both the book and the movie, although the 2014 movie adaption takes greater precedence with only some additional details and quotes included from the book as it does delve deeper into Amy’s psyche and add further characterization. Thus some traits may be accentuated further than they are in the movie, not being completely faithful to either story. It’s an analysis of Amy in her totality across mediums, of course being entirely my opinion. There are of course adaptational differences but I will not include the major ones from the books (ex. her relationship with Hillary Hand). This is an analysis focusing primarily on Amy’s neuroses she demonstrates and the childhood links to them, it doesn’t cover in-depth the events nor themes of Gone Girl.
Amy Elliott Dunne, the ever enigmatic dual protagonist- antagonist of Gone Girl is one of the most iconic female villains in modern memory, and one of the paragons of the “good for her” trope in media, is, frankly, one of my favorite characters of all time. As such I have been dying to write a full analysis examining her neuroses and characterization. Beneath the cultural perception of just another “crazy psycho” for girls to claim “she did no wrong” or “she just like me fr!”, lies a fascinating character who is masterfully written and developed by Gillian Flynn, as well as perfectly portrayed by Rosamund Pike. Amy Dunne is a character with a deep, complex psychology that I will do my best to thoroughly explore in this analysis.
From Amy’s childhood we first see the emergence of a literal high ego ideal, Amazing Amy. Of course this is the children’s book series created by her parents with a fictionalized version of Amy being the eponymous protagonist. This was a version of herself that rectified her own personal failures. Amazing Amy became a prodigy at cello, when Amy quit at 10, Amazing Amy made varsity volleyball, Amy got cut freshman year. Even in the (at time) final book in the series, Amazing Amy got married, a task Amy had not yet done. The entire book series revolved around Amy always making the most virtuous, the most selfless, the most perfect decisions.
>”With me, regular, flawed, real Amy, jealous, as always, of the golden child.”
An interesting detail in the book that is omitted from the movie is Marybeth’s numerous miscarriages and stillbirths (which totaled 7). All of these girls were named Hope, until Amy was born. Amy expresses her jealousy towards them, as they were always seen as perfect without ever living; meanwhile Amy herself has to live life everyday knowing that she will never truly live up to the Hopes. That she has to try everyday to be the best she can be. Her very birth was mired in the expectation of a perfect child; given that she was practically a gift from the heavens to her parents.
This sets up Amy’s perfectionism, as the childhood experience of never living up to a projected ideal led her to want to be perfect (and as we’ll later see, the expectation that everyone else is too), to live life always through the gaze of another. Evidently this leads to a loss of one’s inner essence, one’s individuality and sense of self.
>“-I’d never really felt like a person, because I was always a product” (Book Quote)
Amy’s obsession with personas can be seen as emerging from this, as she adapts a personality depending on who she’s interacting with, as to always be the most appealing she can, she is Amazing Amy after all.
>”I’m not sure, exactly, how to be Dead Amy. I’m trying to figure out what that means for me, what I become for the next few months. Anyone, I suppose, except people I’ve already been: Amazing Amy. Preppy ’80s Girl. Ultimate-Frisbee Granola and Blushing Ingenue and Witty Hepburnian Sophisticate. Brainy Ironic Girl and Boho Babe (the latest version of Frisbee Granola). Cool Girl and Loved Wife and Unloved Wife and Vengeful Scorned Wife. Diary Amy.” (Book Quote)
This general attitude leads to people trying to impress her as she places herself as someone special and especially someone to keep around. She entices both the characters and viewers of the film through her manufactured charisma and enchantment. However, we’ll see this dramatically backfire in her relationship with Nick, just you wait!
For now we can focus on the beginning of their relationship as well as what I believe to be Amy’s view on romance.
I believe that Amy has an impossibly high standard of love, one that stems from her perfectionism and general inability to let down her guise of being amazing. Not to mention how her parents were a perfect match, Amy even referring to them as soul-mates.
>”They have no harsh edges with each other, no spiny conflicts, they ride through life like conjoined jellyfish—expanding and contracting instinctively, filling each other’s spaces liquidly. Making it look easy, the soul-mate thing.” (Book Quote)
In her childhood it’s implied that she was into romance novels, specifically Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, which obviously contributes to the idealization of romance, of a literal scripted love.
>”You were an alienated teen and only Elizabeth Bennet understood you”
I think this little quote is incredibly indicative; it establishes a sense of alienation, of Amy never quite fitting in and blending with others.
>”So many lessons and opportunities and advantages, and they never taught me how to be happy. I remember always being baffled by other children. I would be at a birthday party and watch the other kids giggling and making faces, and I would try to do that too, but I wouldn’t understand why. I would sit there with the tight elastic thread of the birthday hat parting the pudge of my underchin, with the grainy frosting of the cake bluing my teeth, and I would try to figure out why it was fun.” (Book Quote)
Back to the topic of romance, through these stories it allowed her to imagine her perfect romance: if Amy could find that one person that truly understood her, beyond the illusion, that then would constitute a perfect union of love. She does deep down (whether consciously or not) want to be loved for who she is; not the idealized, palatable, literal marketed version of herself. Thus she holds trust as a premium, expecting that if she does the Herculean task of unspooling and revealing herself to another, that the other person would love her no matter what.
>”Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your spouse, your soul mate, and having him not like you?” (Book Quote)
However all of this culminates in an impossibly high standard of a lover, of a practically divine mythical love; where one loves totally and absolutely. Of course where this neurosis is most demonstrated is in Nick and Amy’s relationship.
Amy comments that after meeting Nick she finally felt like a person as he brought out a side of herself that hadn’t been seen, in her own words “a lightness and an ease”, something that Amy enjoyed. In her eyes they had the perfect relationship in the beginning, Nick was her compliment with the witty banter, with their inside jokes, and charm.
However this doesn’t just vanquish her childhood neuroses, through her desire to be seen as perfect, she modifies herself to be a “cool girl” for Nick, complying endlessly to standards to maintain this perception.
>” When I met Nick Dunne, I knew he wanted a cool girl and for him, I’ll admit, I was willing to try.”
Amy essentially became Nick’s image of a perfect girl, witty, fun, and most of all easy-going and forgiving.
Yet one cannot live forever in images and ideas; and as such, the real, true Amy emerged. The Amy that cares too much, that’s hard to get along with, that is a controlling perfectionist. She also tests Nick through the treasure hunts, weaving in little details about their relationship as to challenge Nick and hope that he remembers the things they do together as deeply as she does. Combined with the 2008 recession and declining health of Nick’s mother (the consequences of which will be explored later). As well as Nick’s growing dissatisfaction in the relationship (evidenced by his worsening performances in the treasure hunts, the cheating, using her for sex and ignoring her otherwise, etc). The illusion both Nick and Amy were living in crumbled; they couldn’t possibly sustain their relationship as they were both striving to fulfill reciprocating images for the other.
One of the biggest parts of her character is Amy’s elitism and entitlement, in which she thinks of herself as someone superior, someone that deserves to be loved absolutely for who she is, although only to people she considers worthy.
>”She’s easy to like. I’ve never understood why that’s considered a compliment—that just anyone could like you.” (Book Quote)
Once again this stems from her childhood, in a seemingly contradictory way, she also sees herself as special for being the one that survived from her mother’s attempts, as well as the fact that her birth was so tumultuous that she would be an only child. From this also stems her entitlement for love.
Amy actively looks down upon women she considers “average”, whom she sees as coming from mediocrity and continuously perpetuating that in their lives. She scoffs at them with her wealthy parents and NYC background until her marriage with Nick crumbles. Only then does she realize that she’s become the very woman she would previously disdain. A woman with a failing marriage, the loss of her previous wealth following the recession, and moving to a failed development in Missouri (What the hell’s in Missouri?) for Nick’s mother.
I truly believe this, combined with Nick’s infidelity, and most importantly the loss of her idyllic love culminated in the iconic Gone Girl plan.
>”Nick took and took from me until I no longer existed, that’s murder. Let the punishment fit the crime”.
Nick took Amy’s identity, her sense of self that she so generously revealed to him and rejected her. Implying that she would only be loved if played the role of the “cool girl”; stripping her of who she really was, losing herself in yet another persona. Although Amy admits she doesn’t really have a personality and lives through personas, she still has a semblance of self that she holds dear.
>”-made me realize that there was a Real Amy in there, and she was so much better, more interesting and complicated and challenging, than Cool Amy”. (Book Quote)
Worse yet, Nick had cheated on her with a “newer, younger, bouncer Cool Girl”, leaving Amy in the dust, surely damaging her pride.
But Amy truly fell in love with her idealized version of Nick, believing that she was responsible for shaping that version of Nick. That she deserved that man in his entirety, of course what gets Amy to come back to Nick is the Sharon Scheiber interview, in which he promises to make up with Amy in just the way that makes her think that Nick is the one person who gets her. He makes the little references to their inside jokes (2 fingers on the chin when they’re not bullshitting the other) and a reference to the end of the treasure hunt (always a contentious issue in their relationship). She’s reminded of who he was, that he was once perfect for her, who else could know how to appeal to her heart in just the right way? With the same passion and conviction she reverses the judgment on Nick, clawing her way back to him. She does so in an especially brutal manner, slashing Desi’s throat with a boxcutter right after he climaxes. Putting aside my enormous personal bias against Desi, he was technically an innocent man, taking a great risk in sheltering Amy. However it’s clear that Amy sees him as merely an asset and something to be disposed of once he serves his value, as another prop in her ever evolving masterplan; she did string him along for years through their letter correspondences. He was just another casualty in Amy’s search for idyllic love. She comes back dramatically, literally falling into Nick’s arms while still covered in Desi’s blood like a dress; fabricating an elaborate story about a love obsessed former boyfriend kidnapping and violating her. Despite the glaring holes in her whole story (If Amy’s marriage was as bad as she made it out to be, why did she go back to Nick so easily? How did she get access to a knife and kill him so seamlessly? Why didn’t Amy do anything when she discovered the stuff in Margo’s shed? etc), law enforcement, media, and the public all fully believe it, infatuated with the persona and narrative that Amy’s created for herself. In the end she traps Nick into the marriage and eventually, the family. The last shot of the film is a haunting recall to the beginning shot of the film, as Amy has both revealed and secured herself to be the master of the narrative, finally obtaining her perfect love, no matter what the cost may have been.
Conclusion
Through a constant demand in Amy’s childhood emerges a need for perfection, simultaneously bringing about a sense of superiority and entitlement. The use of personas and façades facilitate this, painting Amy as the most amazing cool girl for whomever she’s performing for, to feed her need to be seen as perfect and desirable. Yet there emerges a psychological detachment from others; as the need to perform inevitably leads to an internal hollowness. However underneath all these layers there also lies the true Amy who has the deep unconscious desire of wanting to be loved absolutely, to have a perfect union of love where she can reveal herself fully and be loved for who she is truly.
>disclaimer for tumblr lol, this is not me trying to claim Amy was innocent I am fully aware that she’s a terribly entitled and narcissistic person but she can still be complex and have relatable desires & be a person even if she’s massively fucked up!!
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pastelpousay · 3 months
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Y’all don’t understand like…all I can do is think of hades and rina all I can do is talk about Hadina, all I can do is eat sleep and breathe in their relationship and the love they feel for each other like y’all don’t understand
(I’m bout the cry yall.. why can’t they be canon 😿 and why can’t hades be real)
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ashleyishere24 · 4 months
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what if at the end of the hunger games Katniss Everdeen says “Katniss Everdeen, what a joke,” and cuts and bleaches her hair in President Snows honour
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bluesidez · 4 months
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Little chat before I close my eyes:
My next request is dbf!Miguel (hi snails doodles!) and I got really nervous about it mostly because I have daddy issues and was internalizing it BUT! I saw @mybvalentine 's dbf!Mig series and now I am both inspired and healed.
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countess-of-edessa · 10 months
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the thing about taking advice from anyone on tiktok or instagram including catholic and christian type influencers, parenting advice, relationship advice, etc, or internalizing any stories of horrible relationships and betrayal people tell on those platforms, or reading about all the ways interpersonal relationships can end horribly and be cycled through extremely quickly on those platforms is that you are necessarily then consuming the thoughts and experiences of someone who is willing to put their face and name on a public social media platform to talk at you. and like 1% of those people have a good reason for doing so and the other 99% are completely unhinged. so everything you’re consuming has first gone through the filter of "is this person weird and insane enough to make Instagram reels of themselves crying?" and if the answer is yes maybe their advice doesn’t apply to your life because you’re a normal person who would not do that.
#i don’t know if this makes sense but it’s something i was thinking about today#not that i really live my life according to Instagram reel advice but as a human being when i see something stated as fact i naturally seek#out the parts of it I believe or compare it to my current worldview#and when that person seems to have a lot of “clout” for discussing spiritual things….idk sometimes I’m like wait is this true? should i#believe this? and other times I’m like well is this a real pattern of behavior that can be observed in many people from different walks of#life including my own? this thing that all men do or all women do or the way all couples will eventually behave#this makes it sound like i am constantly on social media consuming hours of content which im really not#I’ll be on a train and scroll a little bit and something gets stuck in my craw#but with me I’m always like am i rationalizing this away because i don’t want it to resonate?#and I think in the case of anything on social media the answer can almost always be no#because im like wait. why would i take advice from someone who has a public Instagram account#im not saying a stopped clock isn’t right twice a day but really how much of my perspective and life experiences can they share in#when we have this totally totally mismatched worldview#(i mean this also applies to basically anyone offering any type of life advice who isn’t catholic about that)#(but when they are Catholics doing this that gives me slightly more pause for obvious reasons I’m like we are on the same team though?)#(and we are but only kind of and i do not have to listen to you because being an Instagram influencer is still cringe in 99% of cases.)
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starlooove · 1 year
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This might be too niche for the non Afro Latinos but miles reaction to Miguel rejecting him wasn’t just about the spider thing and I felt it when Miles called him Tío and got that reaction.
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merevide · 1 year
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thinking about killing eve again. thinking about eve. and her inhabitions and how she was so repressed and unfulfilled and her only true escape from that was her extensive research into female assassins and through that and getting fired and then rehired she meets villanelle and they basically bring out the worst in each other obvi but that’s also kinda their best selves because all villanelle wants is to be understood and that’s also what eve wants but she denies and denies and denies and she basically keeps denying everything until it’s too late and she’s left alone, again, screaming out in the water.
#like this shit is tragic IF ONLY IT WAS WELL WRITTEN. my god#i haven’t even rewatched this show ever since the last episode aired how do i have all of this just stored away in my brain#eve is such a wasted character because she’s literally so interesting#and then they just kinda fuck it up because they couldn’t really commit to her and her desires#which is also reflected in the show through her character bc she denies and denies and denies until it’s too late#too late being villanelle ending up dead and villanelle was basically the personification of all of eve’s dark desires#like villanelle kinda fucked up her life and killed her best friend and hurt so many of the people eve loved#and eve still was in her orbit because. BECAUSE!!!!!#i’m literally ranting right now and i don’t even know why#like i could go on and on but none of u wanna hear that#like eve is alone in a mental sense in the start and she’s alone in a literal sense in the end#like lol. this isn’t even talking about the romantic aspects of it either#don’t even hit me with that their obsession went deeper than romance sit they wanted to fuck each other let’s get real#i kinda need a reboot of killing eve but with good writing all the way through#i dunno. i dunno why i’m even talking about this#like i’m gonna be 80 and still babbling about killing eve and toxic yuri madness in the nursery home#this show wasted literal years of my life i’m never gonna get back….#BLEGH. sick sick sick sick sick sick sick SICK#killing eve#my text
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konshokoentaiko · 2 months
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i always thought i was a very typical enemies to lovers girlie but i think i just realized my actual taste in ships is the dynamic where the two are supposedly equal rivals/enemies who represent diametrically opposed themes (for the Aesthetic), but in actuality it’s just one of them yanking the other around on a chain while the other whines and rages and protests and ultimately makes an absolute spectacle of themselves
so uhhh. how did THAT happen and when and why
#L and light fit this dynamic bc my mental model of their conversations is like this#L shoots light a question mostly meant to fuck with him and it works bc light instantly starts running in around in circles in his brain#he’s like a circus performer juggling ten rings on a tightrope. obsessively constructing his answer based on what he imagines he looks like#in L's eyes. he's like... a peacock strutting around with his feathers out or some shit. so easily provoked. he's doing this to himself!!!#this is not even mentioning that L had light on a literal leash (that's what im calling the chain.) but anyways#i started shipping them in yotsuba arc and it was the moment where light did a thing in hunting down yotsuba and L was like hmm. good boy.#(me: having visions of light's brain shorting out in this moment (bc the praise kink shit is so real and personal to me))#but then he turns it into another test: you're so good you could replace me actually. and then light just calls him on it in front of the#whole task force with this big dramatic speech like he'd reached into L's brain and pulled the thoughts directly from his head#light is constantly performing at L's whims and he hates it ofc. he's under investigation; why wouldn't he? but secretly he's having the#time of his life bc he's a bit deranged and he likes showing off!!! to L!!!#out of all versions of light i think yotsuba!light felt most strongly about having Something To Prove. to everyone and to L specifically#at this point after the fake-memory kira shenanigans he's def not a normal strait-laced boy even if he's pretending very hard to be one#theres so much u can do w that dynamic imo. like it isnt just neutered kira vs L it's got its own flavor that can only exist at that time#especially if u also assume L realizes light has lost his memories and is kinda trying to manipulate him about it#anyways back to my original point. i can't believe it took an anthropomorphic tv man hitting the base versions of my tastes with deadly#precision for me to even realize what they were. im going insane about this. thank you anthropomorphic tv man. i guess#this is also why alastor + lucifer isn’t doing it for me i think. hating each other over power levels? or over charlie? boringgg#it’s gotta be more personal than that. they’re more evenly matched in how they feel about each other but it feels soulless#i need that raw gut churning angst lmaooo#this is also partly why i can’t get into angel + husk and im MAD about it. i think they’re the kind of ship i might’ve liked back when i#was 12 and losing it over sns (naruto) for the first time. but now i’m a diff type of person apparently
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king0fcrows · 2 months
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the way I just got hit with 5 separate “your order has been shipped” emails while also waiting for my love island water bottle to arrive…. Customs fees are going to be the thing that ruins the bank account this month I fear
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robertsbarbie · 10 months
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my brother: probably is going through the worst thing he’s ever been through in his entire life
me: how can i make this about myself and my sadness
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fly-away-flynn · 1 year
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My Emotional Breakdown is over people somehow not understanding that I want them to stop talking about what happened to me as if they have any right to talk about the situation.
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Fuck you Young Royals for forcing me to go through this painful process while patient notes keep piling.
I hate you. Except I don’t. ❤️‍🩹
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lesbiansanemi · 5 months
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I spoke too soon I should have known that was too easy for him I’m so tired I was like hey! I might have found someone interested in subleasing, if they end up not wanting to ill start making posts places but either way, ill need a move in date to advertise and tell people. Do you have any estimates of when you might find a place yet?
And my fucking roommate replies with a bunch of links to apartments like well you could move HERE like fuck you fuck you fuck you jackass this wasn’t what we agreed on and also 90% of the places he sent me were places I already contacted and had no availability/a waitlist/couldn’t sign until august and the other 10% were WAY out of my price range also none of this solves that I don’t want to sign a new fucking lease cuz I want out of this fucking fuck ass city between you and your bf you make almost TRIPLE what I do you will have such an easier time finding a new place and moving plus you wanna stay in this stupid fucking fuck ass city just fucking GET OUT
#i am genuinely starting to hate this dipshit#I get moving sucks!#but also this is all YOUR fault so YOU should get the shittier end of the deal sorry not sorry#also me living on my own means I will go from about 600 dollars of extra income s month#to about 200 to fucking ZERO depending on what the rent is#how about you kill yourself#‘I’m not trying to make this harder for you’#you are actively fucking me over in sooooo many fucking ways dude because you are incapable of considering other human beings#he also has less bills than me?????#like motherfucker doesn’t even have a car payment cuz his mom GAVE him a car be fucking for real#he’s spent his whole life pretty much kinda jusy doing whatever he wants and getting whatever he wants#and it’s reallyyyyyyy starting to fucking show with this situation#GOD#I told him that doesn’t work for me and explained why to him AGAIN#and he has no answered so lol we’ll see#he was also like ‘but you’ll still have to live with someone you don’t know and you didn’t want that 🥺🥺’#like oh my god#yeah in an ideal world! no! I wouldn’t be doing that#but the issue wasn’t literally living with some guy I don’t know#it was being walked all over and treated like shit and not considered#nor was I asked about it lol like now I’m seeking a new roommate I was never doing that when you moved him in so I wasn’t prepared for it#fuck you for all of a sudden acting like you care about what’s ‘best for me’#and that it’s living alone when it quite literally fucking isn’t for so many reasons#you just don’t wanna fucking move and are scrambling now that I’m actually enforcing this#kysssssssssssss#kaz rambles
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