#AREN’T YOU HAPPY????!!!/sar

[ashleyishere24]

what if at the end of the hunger games Katniss Everdeen says “Katniss Everdeen, what a joke,” and cuts and bleaches her hair in President Snows honour

[lovelyjj]

would it be possible if we can get fluff/angst of reader and jj?

jj is at midsummers as a busser and reader has had a few a drinks and rafe drugged readers drink and jj saves reader?

Saved

jj maybank x reader

wc: 1.6k

warnings: roofieing (reader gets drugged) ***please don’t read if this could be triggering***

Midsummers was the event of the year. Many kooks gathered around for this celebration. JJ wouldn’t be caught dead surrounded by this many kooks, but he had to work so here he was.

You were middle class, not really a kook but also not a pogue. You did however have friends that were both kooks and pogues. It was late afternoon when you arrived at Midsummers.

The island club was decorated beautifully. There was flowers everywhere and you were excited for the events to take place. You were wearing a pretty silk black dress that flowed down your legs.

Some of your girlfriends greeted you. You got swept up in conversation, chatting about the excitement of the event and what not. You were happy to get caught up with your friends.

The dance floor started to gain popularity. Most of the guests were out on the dance floor. It looked inviting. You were thinking about dancing when you noticed JJ. You considered him a friend and you were surprised to see him here.

JJ had caught your eye before. You couldn’t deny he was attractive. He was incredibly hot for that matter. You felt something in your chest when you looked at him but you highly doubted he felt the same way.

JJ considered you a friend. You have hung out in a group a couple times and JJ enjoyed your company. He thought you were the prettiest girl on the island. He also thought he didn’t have a chance. You were way outa his league.

You were pulled to the dance floor by your friends. You were only dancing a few minutes when Sarah came up to you and asked if you would get some drinks with her. You agreed needing some liquid courage.

Sarah led you to the bar. She looked beautiful in her white dress and flower crown. You told her this and she beamed. The two of you got mai tais. You were both talking, drinking and laughing.

“So whats been going on in your life?” Sarah asked.

“Oh not much the same old same old,” you answered.

“Come on there has to be something, something new happening with you,” Sarah pressed on.

“Um well, I been practicing guitar, that’s not really exciting but,” you began.

“Oh really that’s cool I would love to hear you play sometime,” Sarah showed her interest.

“Yeah maybe. What about you what’s been going on?” You asked.

“Well me and John B are getting pretty serious,” Sarah started to blush and you thought that was sweet.

“What about Topper?”

“Oh he’s old news,” Sarah giggled.

“Oh really? Damn, aren’t you supposed to be here with him though?” You questioned.

“Shhh,” Sarah brought a finger to her lips.

“You’re crazy,” you laughed.

The two of you continued to talk as well as drink a couple drinks. You were getting a little tipsy. The alcohol was addicting. It eased your nerves and it made you want to keep drinking.

You didn’t feel the presence behind you but Sarah narrowed her eyes.

“What do you want Rafe?” Sarah got right to the point, her tone bitter.

“Oh nothing just wanted to talk to Y/N,” Rafe insisted.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you,” Sarah crossed her arms.

“How about you let her speak for herself,” Rafe gritted his teeth but was trying to remain calm.

Being the angel that you are, you assured Sarah that it was fine. “It’s ok Sar, i’ll just be a minute,” you say.

Sarah gave you a wavering look but nodded her head and walked off.

You turned around to face Rafe and he towered over you. Rafe gave you a smile.

“So what’s up?” you asked.

“Nothing really I just wanted to see you and ask you something,” Rafe replied.

“Which is?”

“Would you like to dance?” Rafe requested.

“Um maybe not right this second because-“

“You know what forget about it, no worries,” Rafe assured.

“Can I at least get you a drink?” Rafe asked.

“Sure.”

“You look beautiful by the way,” Rafe complimented.

You smiled, “Thank you.”

JJ was watching you from afar. He could see that you were talking to Rafe. There were alarm bells ringing in his head. Rafe was bad news what was he doing talking to your sweet self?

JJ continued clearing glasses so he could go back and wash them. He couldn’t clear the bad feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. When he looked over at you again his heart broke a little bit at the sight of you throwing your head back in a laugh. Your hand was holding Rafe’s arm and Rafe was smiling as you laughed.

JJ clenched his jaw. Yeah you weren’t his but he was still jealous. He should be the one making you laugh not Rafe. He couldn’t stand it so he went in the kitchen and started washing glasses.

JJ was told to come back out and clear more glasses only a few minutes into washing. With a sigh JJ ventured out into the party. He glanced in your direction and what he saw made his heart stop.

Rafe was putting a tablet in your drink. He was showing you something on his phone with the other hand. JJ froze, he didn’t know what to do but he knew he couldn’t just stand there and let you get drugged.

JJ’s blood was boiling. How dare Rafe try and take advantage of you. Rafe is gonna loose his head because JJ was gonna rip it from his body. JJ legs were running faster than his mind.

JJ’s heart dropped to his feet when he saw you take a drink. JJ raced over there in record time. He put his hand on the small of your back and took the drink away from you. He then dumped it on the floor and threw the glass at Rafe.

JJ took hold of your arms and told you to stay there. He then punched Rafe right in the face. He grabbed Rafe by the collar and said, “If I ever see you go near her again I will kill you,” he spat.

“Come on angel let me take care of you.”

You didn’t know what to think one minute you were there talking to Rafe and the next JJ was here ushering you away. You felt like you were drunk.

You felt safe with JJ. His presence was comforting. So you let him take you away from the party.

With great difficulty JJ got you to the château. You were slurring your words and JJ did his best to hold you up.

“In here pretty lady,” JJ ushered you into his room at the château.

“You smell good,” you mumbled.

JJ laughed, “alright just lay down now.”

“I feel dizzy,” you held your head.

“I know I know everything will be better in the morning you just need to rest,” JJ assured.

“Let’s get your shoes off,” JJ added.

JJ took off your shoes and then tucked you into his bed. He wanted to make sure that you were safe and out of harms way. You were the girl of his dreams. He felt like he needed to protect you.

“Goodnight Y/N, go to sleep,” JJ whispered.

Your head was spinning and you didn’t know what to do other than sleep. So eventually you went to sleep, breathing in JJ’s scent.

JJ went to go sleep on the couch. He wanted to give you your space. He wanted to be there and watch on you but he decided to do that from a far. JJ didn’t want to overwhelm you.

——————

You woke up in an unfamiliar bedroom. The light from the sun shined through the window causing you to wake up. Your head was pounding. Your body was aching. You didn’t know where you were.

You looked around the room confused as to how you got there. You were scared because you didn’t remember leaving midsummers.

JJ was on the couch when you entered the living room.

“Hey stranger,” JJ called.

“JJ?”

“Yep.”

“Do you know what the heck happened?” You asked.

“Um well first I think you should sit down,” JJ ushered you to sit next to him.

“Ok.”

“Alright you were at midsummers talking to Rafe. And he was trying to drug you. He put something in your drink and I couldn’t get to you in time before you took a drink. But luckily I finally got to you and got you out of there. I safely brought you here and let you sleep it off in my bed,” JJ explained.

“Woah,” you took a moment to let his words sink in.

“I’m glad you were there to save me,” you were feeling appreciative.

“I’d do anything for you you know that right,” JJ stated.

“I do now,” you responded.

“Can I kiss you?” JJ asked.

“Mhmm.”

JJ leaned in and placed his lips on yours. The kiss was soft and gentle and JJ kissed you with care. Like if he kissed you any harder you might break. Your lips moved together in sync. He cupped your cheek, thumb moving on your face.

When he pulled away you were both breathless. You looked into JJ’s blue eyes and fell in love. You could swim in his eyes. You had a new found appreciation for JJ. He saved you from what could have been a terrible situation, and for that you were eternally grateful.

[bullet-prooflove]

Crash!Series - Part One: Test Flight

Tagging: @kmc1989 @burningpeachpuppy @acesgunner95 @caffeinatedwoman @unknown6669991 @irishavengersassemble @midnightstarqueen @sportslovers-world @wildcard566 @fanny-123456 @alexlynn16 @district447 @firecountryqueen666 @yousigned-upforthis @@coldmidnightlights  @totalstitchlover19 @chlo-lo14 @toheavenwmydrms @doggirlforever @missyhoneybee @thatanimalmom @wabi-sabi1090

You’re excited this morning, Manny can tell. It’s in the way you move around his kitchen, the bounce in your step, the smile on your face. He’d love to accredit it to this morning’s activities but he knows better.

This is about flying.

You’re test driving a new chopper today, one that’s been donated to the Search and Rescue team by Nozzle. For them it’s outdated but for SAR it’s an upgrade from the current model they use, they’ve chosen you as a former coast guard pilot to put her through her paces before they accept ‘the gift’.

For Nozzle it’s part of a PR campaign to clear up their image after the debacle with the winery. Faye’s company had taken a huge hit after that fire had gotten out of control, they’ve been trying to claw back their reputation ever since.

Manny hates the thought of you being used like that but the thing is he kind of gets it. There aren’t many female pilots out there, especially not working SAR. It helps that you’re photogenic, which is why the public relations team for Search and Rescue have thrust you into the limelight.

“If it boosts awareness and fundraising for Search and Rescue than I’m happy to do it.” You’d told him after Luke Leone had approached you about it. “I don’t give two shits about Nozzle.”

Faye has offered you a job three times, flying rescue for her concierge firefighting service and each time you’ve turned her down. You’re not interested the privatisation of rescue services, you care about saving people, making sure they get home to their families after the worst day of their lives. Manny’s built the same way. It’s part of the reason he loves you, you feel that calling the same way he does.

“I love this mood on you.” Manny tells you as he places his hands on your hips. Your fingers thread through his hair, drawing him closer and he makes a contented noise in the back of his throat as your fingertips trace over that sensitive space at the nape of his neck. “I love how happy you get when you fly.”

Flying is in your blood, it has been ever since you were a little girl up in your father’s crop-duster in Iowa. He’d been Airforce before he’d retired, so had your grandfather, you’d been all set to follow in their footsteps until a Coastguard recruiter came to your high school. It was love from the very moment you climbed into a chopper. You’d dedicated every aspect of your career working towards that goal and once you’d achieved it you’d never looked back.

“Imagine how excited I’ll be when I get back.” You tease, your lithe body arching against his. “I’ll need a little help working out all that adrenaline.”

You always get a little wild after you’ve been flying, it gives you a thrill you can’t get anywhere else and Manny he always reaps the benefits. The last time he’d picked you up from the hanger you hadn’t even made it home. He’d ended up pulling into a secluded layby because you’d spent most of the journey whispering into his ear and caressing him through his jeans. He’d fucked you in the cab of his truck, the windows steaming up as country music played on the radio.

Your phone chimes and Manny pulls away reluctantly because it’s your calendar reminding you that you have exactly thirty minutes to get to the hanger for preflight photographs.

“I have to go.” You murmur, glancing at the notification before slipping the phone back into your pocket.

“I’ll be listening over the radio. ” He tells you, picking up his coffee mug and leaning back against the counter as he watches you pick up your keys and motorcycle helmet.  “We can celebrate tonight after I get off my shift from Three Rock.”

“I would like that very much Captain Perez.” You say, raising up on your tiptoes so that you can press a soft kiss to his mouth.

“Stay safe out there today.” He whispers, his thumb chasing over the apple of your cheek.

“Always.” You promise before giving him one last kiss for the road.

Love Manny? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[writingreadinglurkingandsmirking]

Is Your Secrets - Sarah Cameron x Reader

Dear Reader Duology: Part 1, Part 2

Summary: For 16 days Sarah has absolutely no explanation as to where you are. She knows, but not from you. And it's killing her. The uncertainty of what she's done to your relationship and where you both stand is killing her. And when you finally make it back home? You both have to face down the future of your relationship and what that will look like.

Word Count: 5.2k+

TWs/CWs: She/her pronouns used, adult/profane language, descriptions of relationship issues/relationship deterioration, mentions of hospice/a funeral (not extensive or central), making up from a relationship, not fully flushed out

Note: Lmaooooo I didn't feel like waitinggggggggg! Part 2 of the Sarah Cameron installment of the Dear Reader duology series I have going on here on Tumblr. Happy pride: go lesbians, go. Again, if I'm lucky I'll get Kie's out before pride month is over.

“What the hell? Where is my girlfriend?” Sarah demanded when JJ and Kiara emerged from the trees without you. Both had grim looks on their faces and Sarah had a spinning anxiety threatening to take out her legs. She watched as the couple exchanged a glance and her eyes hardened almost immediately into a glare. She folded her arms tightly across her chest. “This isn’t funny. Where is she?”

“She…had to leave, Sarah,” Kie said eventually.

“What?” Sarah asked.

“She’s having a family thing. It’s…bad,” JJ said.

“What the fuck are you talking about? No, she didn't, she would’ve told me,” Sarah said defensively.

“She just got the text, Sar. Right before she ran off,” Kie explained.

“No. She would’ve had me take her. What are you even saying?” she asked.

JJ went to reply but Kiara grabbed her boyfriend’s arm squeezing it, as if in warning. It didn’t go unnoticed by Sarah, but she didn’t get why. She shook her head and turned towards John B. He nodded encouragingly, smiling and patting her shoulder.

“Go call her and see what’s up,” he encouraged.

Offering him a smile of thanks she walked off, dialing your number within moments and holding it to her hair. It rang once…twice…a third time…a fourth time…then? It was sent to voicemail. Sarah bit her lip, immediately worried.

“Hey, baby? What’s up? Where did you go? Are you okay? Kie said you have a family thing going on,” she said, drumming her nails against her leg. “I’m worried. Call me back okay? Just let me know what you need so I can help you.”

She hung up and walked back over to her friends. “Did she answer?” Cleo asked.

“No,” Sarah said, shaking her head.

Cleo sighed and got up. “I’ll try to call her,” she assured Sarah before walking off.

“I’m sure she’s fine, Sarah,” Pope offered. “She just has to deal with her family stuff. You know she’s not just gonna run on you.”

Sarah turned her head over towards Cleo who glanced back in Sarah’s direction. She shook her head and lowered the phone. Obviously, you hadn’t answered, then. Sarah’s hands sat on her hips and she started drumming her fingers more insistently. She took out her phone after a few seconds of thought and started firing off a series of texts to you.

Hey, where did you go?? JJ and Kie said something’s wrong?? Why aren’t you answering??

I love you, baby. Just call me back please.

I just wanna know that you’re okay. You don’t even have to tell me what’s wrong.

I’m supposed to be there for you, peach.

For a moment, Sarah paused and looked up at her friends. “What did she say was wrong?” Sarah asked.

Again, Kie stopped JJ from speaking. “She didn’t say anything. She showed us the text she got,” Kie explained. “Her aunt’s collapsed. It looks like she’s…potentially not gonna make it this time…”

“Shit,” Sarah hissed before taking her phone out, trying to call you again. Again, you did not answer. She left another message. And with that, she started firing off another round of texts.

Kie just told me your aunt collapsed. Do you need me to get us over to the mainland tomorrow? Are you going on the last boat? Do you want me to come? What’s up? What do you need? I don’t want to overwhelm you I just know how hard this is.

So just tell me what you need, okay?

I love you. I wanna support you.

I can be there by the morning. Just say the word. You know I’d do anything for you, right?

Sarah made a final attempt to call. This time she didn’t bother to leave another voicemail when there was no answer. She looked over at Kie, face pleading for some answer that she knew well that her friend could not provide. Or would not even if she could do it. She looked back down at her phone, shaking her head, firing off a few more texts.

My love, you’re scaring me. I hate to think that you’re out there overwhelmed like this and that you’re alone.

Please talk to me, peach.

“Sarah,” Kie said cautiously. “She just texted me.”

Sarah’s eyes widened. She hated the sound of that and the nervous energy that filled her at that. “What did she say?” Sarah asked, worried.

Kie didn’t say anything, instead, she simply held the phone out for Sarah to read. So, Sarah had to read the text with her own two eyes. She had to come to terms with the fact that she saw that this was what you said. She had to acknowledge that this was what you meant.

Tell her not to come.

It felt like a ton of bricks had been dropped into her stomach and fell all the way to her feet. “Hey,” Pope said optimistically. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“Right,” John B said automatically, nodding in agreement. “Probably just gonna be crowded at the hospital with her aunt. Less to worry about. Nothing about you, Sarah. She’s crazy about you.”

Cleo and Kie exchanged a look and Kie swatted at JJ as he made a noise. “What, JJ?” Sarah asked, overly defensive immediately.

“Nothing, Sarah. Just try to understand that her aunt is dying. Of course, she doesn’t need to worry about you. But we should be worried about her, shouldn’t we?” he posed, voice dripping disdain even as he kept his face neutral.

Despite the urge to snap back at him, Sarah knew that it was largely just her anxiety tempting her towards it. She simply squeezed her hip with one hand and gripped her phone with the other. She offered a curt nod. “Yeah, you’re right,” she said. “I’m gonna head back though and see if she went to our apartment first.”

“Sarah…she didn’t,” Kie said, sounding like she hated even saying it. “She’s on the ferry already. Heading over. Just…give her a little space right now. She’ll reach out when she’s ready. Give her a break. It’s been…hard.”

“What are you saying? What has been hard?” Sarah asked, looking suspiciously at Kiara.

“Look, Sarah. Let’s take you home,” John B said, clapping her on the shoulder. “You are way too worried about this right now. You need to decompress. You’re not gonna do that here.”

Sarah offered him a scathing glare. “I need to know if my girlfriend's okay,” Sarah retorted.

“No, you need to listen to Kie and give your girlfriend a damn chance to get through this. And she wants to do it without you right now. And you need to respect that,” JJ said bluntly, ever willing to push her buttons regardless of how painful it might be to do so.

“And we’re done here,” Kie said with fake cheer, clapping JJ’s shoulder before beginning to bodily drag him away. She threw a final look back at Sarah and a last piece of advice. “Just give her a bit. She’ll be back when her family's stuff's set.”

Regardless of what Sarah wanted, she knew that she had no other choice. She knew that her friends were right, whether more softly presented like Kie or more harshly presented like JJ. So, when she went home again, to an empty bed that should’ve had you sleeping beside her, warm and safe, she was determined to be patient. You’d reach out when you needed her. And you did. You did need her. At least…she hoped you did. Suddenly, she felt swept over by a tidal wave of doubt as she sat alone in your shared apartment.

Sarah was not unaware that she hadn’t been the best version of herself with you for the past month. No, she was entirely aware that this was the worst girlfriend she’d ever been to you. And she hated herself for it. But she truly, truly felt like she had to. After all, as much as she often…hated her brother…hated everything about the way he acted and the person he portrayed himself to be…the last conversation they’d had together had left an impact. Something that she had no doubt he’d be delighted to know.

“You know, you’re a lot more like me than you’d like to admit, Sarah. A lot more like Dad. It’s about time that you stop lying to yourself that you’re some normal little good girl, isn’t it? We’re all adults now,” Rafe had sneered on their monthly call that both of them hated, yet neither seemed to be able to stop.

“You’re a crazy, possessive dick, Rafe,” she’d pointed out, with her teeth grit. “I’m nothing like you. And I’m not some selfish…clingy asshole like Dad, either.”

Rafe had chuckled on the other end of the phone and something about the sound had set her teeth on edge. “Oh that’s so sweet that you think so,” he had cooed sarcastically. “But you should take a look at the way you treat that little girlfriend of yours before you start running your mouth over who acts possessive and crazy…or selfish and clingy. You want that girl to be about you 24/7 and if she isn’t you got a problem with it.”

Sarah rolled her eyes at her brother. “Yeah, no. I don’t think it’s weird that I’m excited to be with my girlfriend actually. Some of us are emotionally mature and actually grew up and have partners that we love,” she had said, the words caustic and barbed.

“Ah, well, commitment’s overrated,” Rafe drawled down the line. Sarah had been furious to hear his smug amusement at her easily triggered anger at that moment. “I bet you don’t even realize how bad it is. You probably don’t go even five minutes without touching her if you’re in the same room.” He let out a hum that had Sarah’s hair standing on end. “You probably couldn’t even stop yourself if you tried. I feel bad for her, I do. I’m sure that your girlfriend hates it. Even if she’s too nice to say it to you.”

At that point, the conversation had devolved largely into her yelling at her brother to stop being such a jackass and grow up and a bunch of other childish and otherwise unhelpful things that only could be dragged out of her by her siblings. Even so, knowing that Rafe was an idiot and a loser and always wrong more or less, the words had haunted her. They stuck to her brain. And part of her knew that he was right. She was clingy. Some probably would call her obsessive. She did feel like she had to be touching you every moment that she could be—it helped her feel sane for God’s sake. And sure she hated when Kiara looked at you for too long even though it was more likely that you’d both run away and elope with a literal fish before even looking at each other that way. So maybe she was a bit possessive at times. But you were the best thing that had ever happened to her. So sue her. Of course she was.

At that moment, it struck her.

And damn it all to hell because Rafe was right and she was just a bit psychotic when it came to you.

And damn it all to a deeper part of hell because he was also probably right about you hating it.

She tried her best to dissuade herself from that being the truth. But, over the following days after that first conversation with her brother, she recognized it more. The pattern of borderline obsession with you. Not to an unhealthy degree, not really. But enough that she somehow felt like a part of her was missing when she didn’t get to touch you every ten minutes or so when you were with each other. And that scared her. It scared her a lot. She’d worked so hard through her late teenage years and into her early twenties to become strong and independent. And in the last two years with you, it had dismantled every wall she’d ever built. You felt too entwined with her; it was like she didn’t know where you ended and where she began.

Sarah would admit it: she got scared.

Sarah would admit it: she was a coward.

Sarah would admit it: she ran in every way but literally.

At the drop of a dime, despite the fact it almost felt like going through literal withdrawal at first, she started distancing herself from you. From her peach. From the sweetest and best thing that had ever entered her life. She told herself it was to give you space. It was to give you the freedom to choose to bridge that gap and make the connection with you both. That was a lie though. That was the lie that she told herself even as she pulled away as you tried to make contact, even as she ignored you and flaked on plans and lied about where she was. Because if there was one thing that Sarah couldn’t shake—not fully, at least—it was the ability to blow up things that were important to her when they got too serious. Sure, it had taken two years this time, but she still did it.

But, hey, consistency was key when it came to destroying your life, right?

Then, it felt like she couldn’t stop. She felt awful that first week and wanted to stop. Going into the second week she told herself every day she needed to cut the shit out. And going into the third week it was the same song and dance to. Every time she said it she vowed she would. Every vow she made to do better she completely threw away for fear that she could not name.

So, she was completely aware that she deserved the silence that she got from you. She’d earned it even. But, even so, it burned her. It pissed her off and it terrified her and she was terrified for you and it all turned her stomach into knots that she felt would never go away. And the days dragged on like this. One day into five. Five into nine. She felt like she was going absolutely insane. Not a word from you. Not to her at least. Kie would get an update every four days or so it seemed like. Sarah desperately tried to act like it didn’t bother her but it stung. Already she’d mentally returned herself to the place of I don’t deserve this in a last ploy to avoid the depth of fear and feelings surrounding all of this. And she stewed in that instead of moping around too much. She avoided people the first nine days of you being gone, but by then her friends had informed her quite plainly that if she didn’t voluntarily come out with her they’d actually kidnap her this time. So, she’d agreed.

That’s what brought Sarah out to dinner with her friends. It was nothing big. It was literally just at the Wreck. Even so, dragging her there felt like a trial from the devil himself for a moment there. She sat, tense and generally off from her normal self. Everyone politely seemed to be ignoring it, even as she snapped and complained far more than she’d ever done even before she’d met all of them. Everyone except JJ who seemed almost personally offended by Sarah’s literal existence today. So, she made it her personal mission to ignore him altogether.

“Hey, Kie, have you heard from her?” Sarah asked quietly as the conversation began splitting off after they’d all placed their orders.

“Nothing today, no,” Kiara denied, while JJ scoffed. “Jayj, stop.”

“No. Got something to say, Maybank?” Sarah asked flatly, practically itching to take her anger out on something at that moment.

JJ looked her over as if she were the least interesting thing he’d ever set eyes on then shook his head. “Nothing worth it,” he scoffed before taking a drink from the bottle in front of him.

Sarah raised a brow. “No. Do go on,” she insisted.

“You’re pissed that she’s gone, yeah?” JJ posed. “It’s been two weeks of her dealing with a family crisis that might as well have arrived outta nowhere, yeah?” He scoffed. “Not even two full weeks yet.”

“What’s your point?” Sarah asked, gritting her teeth.

“My point is that you start talking about how she’s been gone so long, and this, that the other. And you’re saying it all like you weren’t practically throwing her away the past month she was here. And yes I said throwing her away because some of the shit had long surpassed pushing her away,” JJ pointed out, voice acidic but truthful. “And you know damn well I’m right, here, Cameron. You do. The problem is that’s just the stuff you were doing in front of us. So I’m sure you were doing worse when y’all were alone. And all my love, of course, Sarah. But at the end of the day? If you’re being as shitty a girlfriend to her as I even think you’re being? I hope she doesn’t come back again. I hope she doesn’t answer you. And I hope you figure out what the fuck got you so flighty when you’ve been happily held down the past two years by a woman you like…are obsessed with.”

“Why don’t we all take a step back here,” Cleo suggested, stepping in front of Sarah. Sarah hadn’t even realized that she’d moved. “Before things get more heated.” Sarah’s glare didn’t move from JJ. Cleo squeezed her shoulder. “Come on. Sarah.”

After another moment, Sarah cut her eyes over toward Cleo. She scoffed and pulled roughly away from her friends. “Fuck you, JJ,” she snapped as she stormed over to the door.

“Sarah,” Kie called after her.

But, Sarah didn’t reply. Instead, she stormed her way home and stewed in her anger, sadness, and hurt. It was easy to be angry. Very easy. It was probably the strongest thing passed down through her family. It was easier to stay attached to the anger than it was to try and reckon with JJ’s words…his accusations. Yes, it was far easier considering the voice in the back of her head that informed her plainly and repeatedly just how right JJ had been. So, instead of facing that, she happily stuck to the anger she felt at your perceived abandonment of her. She’d lost a lot in her life. You knew that. And now, what? She was expected to be okay with losing you? When she loved you, her precious girlfriend, more than anything else? No matter what the back of her mind reminded her of—her poor treatment of you—she couldn’t think beyond the threat of losing you.

The cycle went on like that

Despite every instinct in her mind, Sarah called you. She knew damn well that you wouldn’t answer. But, she just had to hear your voice on the voicemail. Just for a moment. She let out a shaky sigh as she heard your voice, telling her that you were sorry for missing the call and that you’d call her back if she just left a message after the beep. Your voice was so light, you were so full of joy. Sarah longed to have that happiness coloring your tone again. She longed to be the reason you were that happy again. At the sound of the beep, Sarah paused, unable to hang up.

“Hey, peach,” she said, the words practically squeaking out of her mouth. “I know you’re busy. Everyone says that you’re dealing with the family stuff on the mainland. I know. I get that. I’m sorry. I just…I just needed to hear your voice with the voicemail. I love you. I’m sorry. Please…I know I don’t deserve it. And I know that…I don’t want to make this about me. But…just…when you come back…let me talk to you. Please. Let me fix things. I love you so much. I can…I can explain everything about how fucking awful I’ve been. And I promise that I’m not gonna make excuses. I just…you deserve to know.” She let out a shaking breath. “I love you. I miss you. I…I can’t wait to see you again, my love.”

After that, Sarah hung up again, practically flinging the phone away from her. She took a few deep breaths and wiped away tears from her face that she hadn’t even realized had fallen. She forced herself to muster all of her strength and stopped crying. She stopped letting herself feel the hulking weight of her upset and instead laid down in her bed. She curled up in a ball and didn’t let herself cry, but instead forced herself to sleep. It was much, much easier that way—less pain gripping at her throat threatening to pull her under the weight of her own sadness and crush her. So, sleeping it was.

Even so, the last thing on her mind as she drifted off to sleep was you.

Nine days turned quickly into sixteen. And suddenly, it had been half a damn month since Sarah had seen or spoken to her girlfriend. It was killing her. By then, her friends were making a much more concentrated effort to try and make her feel better. Even JJ by then was trying to give Sarah something to smile about and distract her from your conspicuous and extended absence from her life. The most recent attempt was today, with Kie and Cleo dragging her down to the beach with the guys to look for sea glass they could use to make some new jewelry for each other. There also was the side quest of meeting the new girl that John B had been getting to know and definitely getting to be smitten with.

But, hours later, when the sun was burning high, her pockets were full of sea glass and her shoes full of sand, the mission got thrown to the wayside. It had been great hanging out with everyone. For once she’d been wholly distracted. Hell, she’d even found herself getting along well with the new girl that John B was seeing—she was sweet, really. But none of that mattered when she saw you at the end of the beach, walking towards them. She froze like a statue, brain overwhelmed so completely that it shut off entirely.

Naturally, everyone’s attention turned in your direction when they noticed the near-comical freeze from Sarah. You simply gave a half-smile when you realized that your friends had spotted you. One of your hands was shoved into your pocket, the other held a bouquet of dahlias that could only have come from your family’s flower shop—the shop that had been closed for two weeks now, much to the disappointment of the island. Your eyes were downcast, protected by sunglasses against the midday rays. Sarah blinked once, twice, a third time. You were beautiful and perfect and terrible and she missed you and she hated you and she loved you more than anything in this world and she didn’t know how to feel anymore. So, quite simply, she decided not to think about it. To not feel like she had to know anything. She just acted.

Sarah’s feet carried her forward on instinct towards you, slowly at first. But then she was booking it across the sandy beach to you. She threw herself at you, arms wrapping around you in the tightest hug she’d maybe ever given you, practically shaking. You wrapped your arms firmly around her, holding her tightly against you, and let her bury her head in your neck for a moment. Even in doing so, you had the presence of mind to not crush the dahlias, intent on them being perfect when you actually handed them over to Sarah. The pair of you were silent for an extended moment, just holding each other with your eyes closed.

“Hi, baby,” you greeted her, sounding utterly exhausted. Somehow that broke Sarah’s heart even more.

“Hi, peach,” she replied, voice wavering. “I missed you. So much.”

“Missed you too, Sar,” you assured her. She pulled back and looked at you, stroking your face with one hand, the other wrapped around the back of your neck. “You okay, baby?”

“I’m sorry,” Sarah said, tearfully.

Your brow knit together. “Why?” you asked, looking—and feeling—genuinely confused.

“You’re the love of my life and I have been awful for the past month. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t come back. You deserve so much better than I was giving you. And if you give me another chance then I promise you that I’ll do better. I love you so fucking much and I’m not ashamed of or embarrassed of you and you’re worth every ounce of effort and love that I give and I never ever, ever want you to doubt that,” Sarah declared. The words flowed from her mouth in a waterfall. “I’m sorry that I ever made you feel any differently. The love that I have for you…it isn’t…it shouldn’t be…it isn’t a secret.”

“Sar…baby…I was just dealing with hospice and the funeral the past few weeks,” you said, sounding tired, stroking her cheek in return. You sighed. “Yeah, you were out of it. You’re allowed to be.” You scoffed. “I just didn’t check in for two weeks, baby. That’s worse.”

Sarah shook her head in refusal. “No. You were dealing with your family, it’s not,” she declined. She saw you open your mouth and shook her head again. “And you needed to do it alone and I respect that and don’t feel any type of anger about it. I was just being awful because I was insecure and felt like I was too clingy. I should’ve been there for you.”

“Sar…stop,” you said, frowning seriously at her. “I didn’t want you to be there. I didn’t want anyone to be there. I was angry. I was upset. And I was stupid and wanted to handle it myself. That has nothing to do with you or our relationship, baby. I promise. Who cares if you dropped my fucking hand? This isn’t the music video for fucking All Too Well. You’re not Jake Gyllenhaal. This isn’t a Taylor Swift song, baby. This is real life. You’re allowed to be distant every once in a while. And I can tell you all about everything later. And I will. But we didn’t both need to go through it.” You blew out a sigh. “At least that’s how I felt when I was leaving. So it was what I maintained. I know that it hurt you…and for that I’m sorry. I’m not gonna do it again. I promise you that. And I also promise that I will tell you everything later.”

Despite her best effort, Sarah felt her bottom lip quivering. There was much that needed to be unpacked. Much that needed to be discussed. But, all Sarah could focus on at this moment was the stark relief that she felt. Her relationship wasn’t in danger. Her love for you wasn’t in question. She sagged against you, eyes wet with unshed tears, and looked at you with the ghost of a smile threatening to take over.

“You promise?” Sarah asked you quietly, needing the verbal confirmation.

You leaned forward and pressed a soft, sweet, lingering kiss to her lips. “I promise you. I’ll tell you everything. And you can tell me whatever you were saying you had to in your last voicemail. We’re gonna talk, Sarah. This isn’t the end of anything.” The words came out strong and assuring. “You are way more important to me than my own ego. Our relationship is more important to me than any fight we’d ever have. I love you, Sarah. And if I have been reminded of anything in the past few weeks? Life is way too goddamn short to waste time on this when I just want to love you.” You pressed another soft kiss to her lips that she tried to chase you down to continue. You smiled as you pulled away. “We can work it out later on, baby. Okay?”

Sarah nodded. “Okay,” she agreed softly, leaning her forehead against yours.

“For now I just want to be with you. Okay?” you posed.

“Okay,” she agreed, squeezing your hand in hers. Silently, you extended your hand, the dahlias—perfectly preserved due to your carefulness—being offered to Sarah in a silent apology. Sarah sniffled. “What do dahlias mean again?” She knew, of course. Dahlias were your favorite flower. She had them memorized as well as she had you memorized by now. But she just needed to be sure that you really, truly still felt the same way about her.

“Beauty, kindness, love…lifelong commitment…devotion,” you said softly, pressing tiny kisses to her lips between the last three. “And in this case? They’re just a plain old apology from me to you, Sarah Cameron.”

“They’re perfect,” Sarah said, looking down at the perfect blooms in her hand, wiping her tears away.

“No, that’s just you,” you denied. You smiled at her, soft and sweet. “I wanna hang out for a little while before I head back. Get the verbal lashings from Kie and Cleo out of the way. And JJ’s passive aggressiveness. Then…if…if you want…it can be just you and me tonight?” Sarah nodded eagerly and the pair of you started walking back towards your friends who had been watching the both of you without any shame in it. You glanced at them, eyes lingering on the girl you didn’t know. You turned towards Sarah, lowering your voice so only she’d have the possibility of hearing. “Who the hell is that?”

Sarah grinned at you, brightly. “Oh, that? That’s the girl John B’s been going out with,” she said lightly. You looked at her, eyes widening. She nodded, grin turning into a shameless smirk. “Yeah. I know. There’s a lot to catch you up on.”

“Debrief at home?” you asked quietly as you approached your friends.

“Debrief at home,” Sarah echoed in agreement, squeezing your hand, the weight that had been heavy on her heart largely melting away. She looked over at you as you approached, voice no longer quiet. “I love you, peach.”

“I love you too, Sar,” you said, bringing your entwined hands up to your lips so you could kiss her knuckles. You both ignored the catcalling coming from your friends. You rolled your eyes playfully at Sarah at their reaction. She did so back and you smiled slightly.

Yeah, the trouble could wait. At least for the night. Because you were right. All that mattered? You two had each other right here again. The rest of it? You’d figure it out along the way—doing it together. And that was all the both of you could hope for.

[santmat]

Light and Sound on The Path (Sant Mat, Radhasoami, Surat Shabd Yoga, The Path of the Masters, Bhakti of the Inner Light and Sound)

Happy 70th Birthday Baba Ram Singh Ji!

Below is excerpted from a satsang discourse of Baba Ram Singh commenting on verses of the Sar Bachan Radhasoami Poetry of Soami Ji Maharaj, which he often does in satsang.

"Swami Ji Maharaj also is addressing our soul as a hansa, or as a swan, because swans are pure birds and the soul is also pure. He is addressing the soul and He is telling the soul, 'You leave the outward things and leave the water outside and you come within. God Almighty has kept a lot of treasures within. He has kept an ocean of Nectar within. You come and take that.'

"'Saagar ksheer bharaa ghat beethar,

Peevo surat thaani.

Jag ko jaar dhaso nab andhar,

Mandar parakh nishaani.'

"He tells us to come within, but what stops us from going within is our attachment outside to this world. And till we overcome those attachments and entanglements outside, the soul will never be able to withdraw and go inside.

"The Masters give us Simran because that is a means to cut out our entanglements and enable the soul to leave the nine doors and come to the Tenth Door.

"By doing Simran and Dhyan, we will be able to mold our mind and get the gunas, or get the attributes, that are necessary for us to go within. All the Saints Who have gone within in the past, They have all made that effort of doing Their Bhajan Simran, and then They have been able to go within. And all in the future also, will be able to go within only when they make that effort of doing their Bhajan Simran.

"So, that possibility of going within is for everyone who does Bhajan and Simran. And we often delude ourselves, thinking that it is only Mahatmas have done the Bhajan Simran because They were Ready-Made Souls and They could go inside, but we are sinners and we are not able to do this. So, this is the thought of a lazy mind. And if we overcome that and we do our Bhajan Simran, then we will definitely be able to go within.

"Every human being, be it a male or a female, has the capability of going within. We should have that enthusiasm and we should have that commitment to do that meditation and we will definitely be able to go within...." 

"'Guru moorath tu dhaar hiye mein,

Man ke sang kyun firat nimaani.

Tera kaaz kare guru poore,

Sun le anahad baani.'

"Swami Ji Maharaj says, 'Your work will be done by a True Master.' And He says, 'Why aren’t you listening to that Anahad Shabd, that Sound Current, which is resonating at the Eye Center?'

"That Holy Sound Current has emanated from God Almighty and It has come down through the planes and is resonating at Eye Center. And from there, it is illuminating this body. And it is having the functionality of this body.

"So, Swami Ji Maharaj says, 'You manifest that Sound Current.'

He says, 'That Satguru Who is going to help you, He is within. You go and manifest that Holy Sound Current, which is His manifestation. And if you manifest that Sound Current, your going back and forth in this ocean of life and death will come to an end.'

-- excerpted from, Till We Overcome Those Attachments And Entanglements Outside, The Soul Will Never Be Able To Withdraw And Go Inside, a 2015 satsang discourse by Baba Ram Singh)

The original copy of 'Ghat Ramayana' written by Saint Tulsi Saheb kept in a glass case in the ashram of Saint Tulsi Saheb in Hathras, Uttar Pradesh.  (Photo Courtesy of Pujya Satya Prakash Baba, and Pravesh K. Singh)

हाथरस, उत्तर प्रदेश में संत तुलसी साहब के आश्रम में शीशे के पिटक में रखी उन्हीं द्वारा रचित 'घट रामायण' की मूल प्रति  (चित्र सौजन्य: पूज्य सत्य प्रकाश बाबा)

Sant Tulsidas says: "The true teacher is the one who gives knowledge without ignorance, who speaks about Light without darkness, and about the Formless God without the God with forms. That teacher I deem as being true."

Who is worthy to be called a true or accomplished teacher? The true teacher is the one who has transcended the realm of ignorance and darkness and is established in the realm of knowledge and Light. The true teacher having gone beyond the material realm of forms is established in the Formless State of the Infinite (the Divine). The accomplished spiritual teacher, who shows the path to experiencing the Reality, does so, only after testing this knowledge on the touchstone of his/her own personal experience. The knowledge of a true spiritual teacher is not simply based on intellectual knowledge, but also in personal experience.

Sant Kabir Sahab emphatically asserts: "You speak what is written down [intellectual knowledge], and I speak from what I have seen [inner experience]." 

Therefore, we need a spiritual guru who will not only be a knowledgeable teacher, but will also be morally sound and actively practicing what he/she teaches.

-- Swami Santsevi Ji Maharaj (pictured above)

Archive of All Posts: 

https://SantMatRadhasoami.blogspot.com

Sant Mat Radhasoami e-Library: 

https://SantMatRadhasoami.blogspot.com/2019/01/sant-mat-radhasoami-books-main-page-e.html

[theculturedmarxist]

Having read the below article in Scientific American, I have to confess it actually addresses many good points. It drives home the facts that endlessly growing consumption (capitalism, essentially) is unsustainable and a declining human population would help solve many of our greatest challenges.

It also goes on to note that we (read: our leadership and ourselves) have to get our shit together on a number of fronts, including putting human rights square in the center of the overall solution of reducing population growth, consumption, etc.

But here’s the problem: our world is run by a bunch of greedy, thoughtless wealthy elites who don’t see us as human, who don’t give the slightest fuck about us. The politicians are just puppets they manipulate.

We keep asking things like why has COVID been allowed to run rampant? While many of us have surmised the answer – the mass culling of us proles – here we have it now laid out in a major publication, in Scientific America. The authors don’t point fingers, but I’m happy to do so.

COVID was a gift to the Davos crowd (the billionaires, essentially). They’re perfectly aware of how dangerous SARS-CoV-2 is, and they’re also perfectly aware of how transmission can be prevented. And even those who aren’t in the Davos league but are rich enough know better send their kids to Davos-safe schools (e.g., Ashish Jha and Rochelle Walensky).

But the oligarchs tell us – the proles, the worker bees, the expendables – through their bought and paid for politicians and media outlets that it’s just a cold, just the flu, nothing to worry about! Masks are bad. Vax and relax! Or don’t vax at all. It’s all good. You do you!

Just like from the movie “They Live,” our purpose in life is to breed, to work, to consume, to enrich the billionaire class, and maybe create a few more Davos scions who are seen as sufficiently morally bankrupt as to be worthy of elevation.

“But how long can mass disablement and death go on before even the Davos elite are impacted?”

Good question. I don’t have a specific answer, but let’s consider: there are currently around 3,000 billionaires (depending on which source you read) in the entire world who’ve amassed over $12 TRILLION in wealth. And remember, that’s only what those 3,000 or so individuals have in their pockets, it says nothing about additional assets – and power – they may directly or indirectly control, including politicians across the globe.

That 3,000 works out to about 0.0000375% of the world’s population; I figure it’s likely more like 100 to 500 families, as some of the billionaires are in the same family groups. Even if you added in the 56 million or so millionaires globally, that’s only 0.7% or so of the population. And let’s face it: in the eyes of the billionaires, the millionaires are just higher-ranked proles, nothing more. Even our wealthiest politicians are nothing more than boot-licking kapos to the billionaires.

So, do you think the billionaires and their families NEED anywhere close to 8 billion people to build their yachts, service and fly their private jets, or – when the climate becomes so extreme we proles are dying by the millions – to raise their atmosphere-controlled gilded domes and ivory towers? Of course not. Somehow, I’m sure they’ll have the “human resources” they require.

I doubt the super wealthy want to live in cages, though, even gilded ones. They must realize how the endless human growth and consumption that has made them wealthy beyond dreams is also poisoning their world (yes, to them it’s “their” world, not ours). Granted, some won’t give a damn and want to do the ultimate YOLO in their own lifetimes. Others, like Musk, think they’ll find salvation on Mars; I suspect he and his followers will be badly disappointed. Still others, I suspect, would like to salvage this planet. They don’t want to live in a shithole any more than we do.

To do so, however, billions of proles globally must die. Yes, billions. But this is a difficult problem to solve. While war could do it (and would make a LOT of money in the process), war is messy, has a great deal of uncertainty (you don’t want someone blowing up any of YOUR yachts or mansions!), and the only way to kill billions in a reasonable amount of time is the generous use of nuclear weapons, which are *really* messy.

Starvation can help, but typically works only on impoverished countries: most of the problems (e.g., climate catastrophe, pollution, etc.) beyond raw “surplus population,” as Scrooge might say, are actually created by the wealthy countries, and starvation isn’t going to work on them. The same with water: while some countries in the northern hemisphere (the rich) are going to suffer under the coming water shortages, they won’t suffer enough. A few million dying here or there simply won’t do.

What about…a plague? A pandemic? Hmm. Now that has some possibilities. We’ve had several major human depopulation events stemming from plagues in the past. You could argue that SARS-CoV-2 doesn’t have a high enough fatality rate to really “do the job” (and I’m not being glib as I write these awful things: I believe this is the cold calculus the Davos elite are using to compute our fates). That would be true, perhaps, if we only take into account deaths from acute infections – a few tens of millions in three years is hardly a dent, after all!

On the other hand, mass disablement leading to latent sudden death, infections by other pathogens due to compromised immune systems, premature death, the collapse of health care services leading to more deaths, plunging life expectancy among the proles…now we’re talking!

And yet, one set of problems remains: how to get people to embrace mass infection, disablement, and death when viral transmission can be broken fairly easily? If people were properly informed about the virus, the pandemic could be brought under control with a proper layered strategy enabled globally, which would cut the party short.

How to get past this conundrum?

That’s an easy one: lie to the proles! Terminate collection and distribution of the data showing what the virus is doing. Demonize or outright prohibit masking and other mitigations, along with the people promoting them or trying to get the proles to see the truth. Demonize vaccination for one demographic, and make it difficult to get vaccinated/boosted with vaccines that already do little to prevent infection, transmission, and long COVID for another. Have the billionaire-owned politicians and media outlets censor information about the pandemic except to say it’s over, COVID is no worse than a cold or the flu, vax and relax. Live your best life! YOLO!

This is what they’ve done, and on a global scale. SARS-CoV-2 may not be THE solution…but it could go a long wy. Consider where we’ll be in 10 or 20 years with multiple infections per year if we don’t globally try to stop it: hundreds of millions, and quite possibly billions, will die of the sequelae or other infections, if not from the acute infections themselves, or being left to die after being disabled, or “humanely euthanized.”

Even climate change: could that be intentional? The rich and shameless know it’s real and what’s causing it (us, primarily from using fossil fuels), but they’re doing nothing to change course. Why?

A workable theory is that they WANT it to happen, because it will likely kill hundreds of millions, perhaps billions, in a matter of decades. There will still be habitable, even nice, places left, and that’s where the billionaires will have us proles build their new ivory towers.

But what about supply chain disruptions? Grain and food shortages? Water? Fuel? Energy? Surely the “big issues” are going to disrupt the rich and shameless as millions or billions die, right? Right?

No, they’re not. Remember, these are people who buy blue water yachts on a whim, often have multiple personal helicopters and private jets, plop down millions of dollars for a warehouse full of fancy cars, have mansions on every continent but Antarctica, and enjoy a lifestyle that most of us literally can’t even imagine. They see themselves as lords and act like it.

Do you think ANY of the things that affect our survival are going to affect the Davos elite? Don’t be foolish: they simply buy their way to the front of the line for anything and everything they want. When it comes to it, they’ll have their own personal armies just like feudal lords of old. There’s no “competing” with this demographic: they take what they want, when they want. They don’t even see us as real people. The only value we provide in their world is whatever we can do for them. And right now, the vast majority of us are nothing but useless eaters in their eyes and just need to die, the faster, the better.

But what about productivity? If too many of us die, won’t we stop making them rich? Again, literally billions of us could die and there would be plenty of proles to keep them in comfort: they control the system, they control the dynamics, and they’ll rearrange things to suit their needs. When you own all the assets that are worth owning (that’s called “privatization,” folks), the nature of “income” and wealth change, and the rest of us be damned.

That’s what it really boils down to: this small group of people (and those who are really pulling the levers are no doubt only a small subset of this group of 3,000 or so) have damned the rest of us to suffering and death. They have embraced SARS-CoV-2 and likely climate change as at least part of the solution to planetary overpopulation. They’re driving this agenda, which is a long-term one, home through their influence over and ownership of our leaders, media, and various proxies who have been waging a war of information to convince us that mass infection is good, that mass disablement and death are normal, that there’s no reason to worry about climate change. Everything’s going to be okay. For them, at least.

Finally, if you think this is limited to one party or another, or one segment of the political spectrum, you’d be sorely mistaken. The Davos crowd aren’t liberals or conservatives. As I said earlier, they see themselves as lords unto themselves, and we are here only to serve them.

[isle-of-no-dogs]

vent time :D 👍

For some reason the world decided that today would be the day to have a breakdown (yay)/sar

I’ve got a week until I have to go to this job for the whole summer, and I know there will be dogs all over the place. I already have to deal with the annoying ones in my neighborhood, but now I’ll be surrounded with them even more. Now I can’t hide from them. Now people are going to see how crazy seeing dogs makes me act, and they are going to judge me and call me names like everyone does.

How many times do I have to tell my supposed ‘friend’ that I have a fear of dogs and animals in general for her to stop sending me pictures of her pets. Or my other friend when we are on phone calls to stop saying things like “Oh can you hear my cute dog in the background, aren't his barks adorable” While I feel like throwing up and screaming!

And worse is when I go into for this job I’m going to be seeing HIM all the time. Him and his nasty dog, and his scary smile . Him and his demeaning and damaging words. HiM as he says he cares about me but all he does is hurt me. My family loving him, and I can’t blame them, but I want them all to understand I want to be nowhere near him or his dog.  My family might act all nice and understanding that I hate animals, but I know the want me to change. I know that I’m just a burden to them and I ruin all their fun times. 

I all I want is my family to choose me, to choose me over the dogs. To say “Oh dogs bother and ruin your life so much? well we love you so of course we will choose you.” But they won’t. Everyone wants both.

And I’ve opened up to the internet before with this problem, how I want them to choose me over the dogs, and what did the internet say?! “GO kill yourself” All these people obsessed with dogs, and thats ok, you love your dog thats fine, but you are biased. And even if you do ‘love’ your dog, how can you love it more than your actual family!

Please don’t hate me! All I want is to be heard and understood. All I want is is to be happy. I am so miserable, and everyone just keep hating me. I don’t want to doe but at the same time I want this to end. Why can’t I be happy. Why does everyone have to hate me?

I know I’m opening up and so I should prepare to be hated and told to die, but I think that's unfair. You can share your opinon respectfully. Or hate me in silence.

To those of you that are following me, or said something kind to me, thank you. Thank you so much for understanding, and helping me to feel less alone. And I hope you won’t come to hate me too.

[employee432-timekeeper]

Can e i plwanas be normal ab ahit pleZspease please please

I’m somewhat normal but ogh my god pulls out hair

Me when i genuinely feel sick bc of stupid shit my ex caused

Thank u for making me feel like this/neg/sar

I LOVE HAVING WHATEVER THE FUCK I DO🔥🔥🔥

I genuinely cant handle other people liking the same character as me and . It genuinely makes me want to avoid this app a lot ar times i genuinely. Cant handle certain things and Inhate myself for it

Why cant i be fucking normal

Why do I feel the need to block everyone who . URHRGRGE

I want to genuinely start loosing it. The guilt gang made everything worse. I fucking hate them. I wish they never existed. You aren’t funny. You are fucking annoying. I only KEPT with the shit because YOU FUCKERS WOULDNT EVER GENUINELY SHUT THE ACTUAL HELL UP.

My blog was perfect in my wyes. And now I can’t.

Im happy people found comfort in steven but.

Hhh

It was perfect and wveryone was happy whay the fick

[enderose]

*Cue “Hell of a Ride” by Bo Burnham*

But in all seriousness, the switch up between how I was then to how I am now isn’t too wild. I went from this shy, nerdy, art kid who’d draw traditional art in classes a lot to the still kind of introverted but also much more confident digital artist I am today. Although if my younger self saw the stuff she’d be making now, she’d be stunned which makes me happy to think about. Also gotta keep my current self’s face covered because of the whole ‘faceless’ thing I got going on-

Also no the ram horns on my younger self aren’t because I used to watch Jschlatt a lot and used to draw my persona with ram horns because of that, what are you talking about- /sar /lh

As for tagging: If you guys are down for it then @silvershadow1271 @staticart @voidmancryptidly but if not that’s also completely fine!

New picrew chain idea: yourself vs what you looked like as a kid

Free for anyone to join in

Link

[titsuya]

# HANDJOBS OR BLOWJOBS ?

includes: hanemiya kazutora, sanzu haruchiyo, haitani rindou, sano majiro, hanma shuji, haitani ran x gn!reader (all charas are timeskipped and 21+)

warning: handjobs, oral (m. receiving), subby kazu nd manjiro, whiny/crybaby ran, degradation (m. receiving) + praise (both receiving), THROAT FUCKING + THROATPIE, exhibitionism, size kink, MINORS DNI 18+

sar’s note: HI THIS IS MY FIRST TIME OFFICIALLY WRITING FOR TOKYO REV SO I HOPE U GUYS LIKE IT !!! pov me going overboard on a few of the last ones :D also if this flops, i didnt write it…

navigation (18+) — tokyo rev m.list — tell me ur thoughts !

HANEMIYA KAZUTORA

kazu prefers handjobs all because he likes to hear you pra!se him.

“such a pretty cock, ‘tora, ‘s so big,” you pout, skilled hand wrapping around the base of his length. at the praise, he twitches against your palm, a throaty whine falling out of his mouth. “all mine?” you ask, innocently staring up at him. your hand strokes him at a constant speed and your free hand finds his bare thigh, squeezing it gently.

“fuck yes,” he moans, chest heaving up and down. “mmph, b-baby, faster. go faster, please!” he bites his lip squeezing his eyes shut. he shudders when your speed increases, your hand turning into his own personal fleshlight.

you smile at the whines and pleads that fall from his mouth, growing more aroused as each second passes. “you’re such a good boy, my best boy. so good for me, aren’t you baby?” he nods his head vigorously, sniffling and arching into your hand. “yeah? cum for me then.” you coax, feeling yourself get hot at the sight unfolding in front of you. kazutora’s abs flex and his cock throbs right as he releases into the palm of your hand, crying and panting out your name.

“good boy!” you cheer before sticking one of your cum covered fingers into your mouth.

SANZU HARUCHIYO

haru <3’s blowjobs just cause he likes how warm your mouth is <3

“ohhhh, fuck,” he moans, head thrown back and mouth ajar. “mouth feels so fuckin’ good— shit, you’re a pro.” his hand moves to your head, sweeping the hair out of your face, then cradling your face. you look up at him through your lashes, humming in content at his fucked out state.

you pop the tip out of your mouth, smiling brightly at him, “haru, you’ll return the favor, right?” he nods, not even processing your words, pushing your head back down so that he can feel your warm nd wet mouth once more.

he groans, “‘ll do anything you want, angel, just keep suckin’ my cock,” he tangles his hand into your hair, guiding you up and down. the heat of your mouth makes his eyes cross, but it’s when your moan vibrates his entire body when he loses it. “don’t stop, don’t you fuckin’ stop,” his words and choked moans spur you on, making you bob your head faster and faster, hollowing out your cheeks as you swirl your tongue over the slit of his tip. “cu-cumming!” he warns before shooting his load into his mouth.

you swallow his cum like nothing before grinning,“okay, my turn!”

HAITANI RINDOU

pretty boy doesn’t care as long as it can get done in public as well <3

you’re on your knees under the big conference table per your boyfriends instructions with a frown etched on to your face. his reason being that you’re “too distracting” for bonten’s other members, so he’d rather have you out of sight and under the table playing with his cock like a good baby would.

you sigh anyways, palming the big bulge in his pants, because even if you liked the attention, you’d rather make him happy. you unbutton his pants and tease at the zipper, pulling it down slowly. his cock hard, yet still growing when he’s finally in the palm of your hand. you look up at him, his lip tucked between his perfect teeth as your hand slides up and down his big length, pressing a kiss to the blushing tip. you smirk at the soft twitch that you feel, deciding to run your tongue across his slit, collecting all the beading precum before taking his entire head into your mouth.

he tries his best not to let out one of his pretty moans at the heat of your warm mouth wrapped tightly around his tip. he watches you suck and run your tongue over his sensitive slit repeatedly, nearly about to bust just at how good you look. both of your small hands (in comparison to his dick) are kneading at the rest of his length, twisting gently, saliva dripping down to the base of his cock because of your mouth. he moans, softly, nearly inaudible when he cums, ropes n ropes filling up your, so much that it’s spilling out of your mouth and back down his sloppy cock.

once the meetings over, he pulls you out from under the table and says, “‘m gonna fuck you so good, pretty. deserve the best for that mouth and those perfect hands of yours.”

SANO MANJIRO

handjobs handjobs handjobs— mikey is a slut for handjobs.

“talk to me, baby,” you whisper, pressing a chaste kiss to the shell of his ear. your hand squeeze his cock, thumb rubbing the precum at his slit, feeling as his entire body shakes. “mikey, tell me how you feel.” his whimper spurs you on, sliding your hand at a slightly faster pace. “you look so pretty for me like this, you feel pretty, don’t you?” your eyes snap to his length, noticing how red the bulbous head is and how he can’t stop leaking, your praise obviously effecting him greatly.

“uh-huh,” he squeaks, voice cracking as he thrusts into your hand. “fe-feels so good, angel,” he turns his head to look at you and you can finally see his fucked out face with his furrowed eyebrows and needy eyes along with his slightly cracked open mouth that’s freeing all of his pretty whines. “k-kiss?” he whispers, afraid of his voice cracking. it sends heat straight to your core, his desperate face, a stark contrast of his usual demeanor with others.

you smash your lips against him, moaning right into his mouth and continuing to stroke his dick with finesse. “so fucking perfect,” you mumble against his lips making him writhe. “cum for me,” you pant, kissing him once more, addicted to way his lips feel on yours just like how he’s addicted to your hand eagerly pumping his cock. he moans incoherent word into your mouth before you feel him twitch, ribbons of cum spurting up and painting his bare tummy and your hand. he whines when your hand doesn’t ease up, stroking him through his powerful orgasm.

“i want another, mikey, cum for me some more.” you whisper, kissing his warm n rosy cheeks.

HANMA SHUJI

blowjobs only. not even really a blowjob, just fucks your throat :(

shuji has your body laid out on the bed, pulling your head to hang off. you pout, “shuji, i didn’t do anything wrong, i don’t-mmph!” your words are muffled by him shoving his cock into your mouth. he groans loudly watching as he pushes into your tight throat, his fat cock visible through your pretty little neck. saliva drools at the side of your lips, trailing down your face as he thrust in n out of your wet mouth.

“i know ya didn’t, pretty,” he breaths, hand squeezing your cheeks together. “just wanted to fuck this ti- ugh, tight throat— god damn,” he grunts as you swallow around him. “ahh, fuck, i see you’re enjoyin’ yourself?” he chuckles breathlessly, chest heaving up and down as your throat contracts around him once more. you hum, gagging every once in a while and shuji feels like he’s in heaven. he could cum just like this, his pretty baby servicing his cock, all pliant just for him. “yeah? gonna let me cum down that throat?”

you hum again, preparing yourself for the few seconds you won’t be able to breathe with his cum filling your throat. he emits a loud moan, his hand moving to wrap around your neck before he shoots his hot load all the way down. your back arches and your legs kick all the while your eyes are widening, choking on the thick substance. once emptying, he takes his dick out of your mouth. he coos at the way you cough and gasp for air, cum spilling from your mouth onto the hardwood floor.

“aw, baby,” he gives you a faux pout. “you wasted some cum… guess i gotta give you some more to make up for it.”

HAITANI RAN

unlike his brother, he has a preference: blowjobs !!!

there’s something about the way haitani ran can be easily subjected into nothing every time your warming his cock with your mouth. he’s the one who always suggests it, too. “angel, warm me up, please?” he asks with a smile on his face. you always say yes, of course, but as soon as you wrap your plump lips around the bulbous head of his cock, he’s immediately thrusting into you. his excuses range from, “shit, sorry, i wasn’t ready,” to “fuck, baby, you feel so good.”

now here you both were— there are tears in his eyes, moans rumbling in his chest as you’re on your knees gagging on his fat cock. you look up at him through your wet lashes and furrowed brows. his blunt head hitting the back of your throat with everyone of his deep n needy thrusts. “f-fuck!” he cries, desperately. “a-angel face, o-oh shit,” his whines make you moan, hand trailing down your body to grind onto your own hand. “g-god, so good n warm, l-love you!”

you let out a tiny mewl, sucking harder, moving your hands to pull his hands to your head. he gets the hint, pushing your head all the way down to the base. his eyes roll to the back of his head, “cumming!” he sobs, the knot in his stomach snapping as he shoots down your throat. you swallow the substance, pulling off and showing him a bright smile. “so fuckin’ perfect,” he mumbles, pulling you up to give him a kiss despite the fact that he can taste himself on your lips.

“you’re such a little bitch for me,” you giggle, pinching his cheeks. “shut up,” he grumbles, pulling you in for another kiss.

© all works belong to @titsuya 2021, please do not repost, modify, or translate any of my works on any platform

[ratsoh-writes]

I’m looking at some of my old posts and have realized that a lot of the character descriptions aren’t very accurate with how I write the characters now. So I’ll be be redoing each skeledudes general personality description (and job description) and reblogging this post each day until I have all of them ;)

Sans: He’s our typical lazy and punny guy! Sans is a real people’s man and has friends and connections all over. Despite finding across as a charismatic extrovert, he’s actually very introverted and enjoys his friends in controlled doses. Sans is a playful prankster at heart. His favorite reactions from his victims is the face of blank confusion as they witness his quiet little acts of chaos. Sans is a very guarded monster who doesn’t typically show a lot of emotion beyond surface level. It takes a long time to earn enough trust for him to open up. A long long time. Sans is also a scholar at heart. The only time you’ll ever see him truly work is when something is interesting enough for him to feel passionate about

His job is a nuclear engineer! Sans is researching ways to combine nuclear energy with magic to make safer and cleaner energy sources

Papyrus: he’s the true definition of an optimist. Papyrus can always see the best in any person or situation. Because of this, people may think that he’s naive. He isn’t, he just stays strong to his ideals and is stubborn enough to ignore any criticism. Papyrus lives for seeing his friends and family succeed. In fact, he’s at his happiest when he makes others happy. This makes him the ultimate cheerleader friend. Pair that with a very empathetic and observant personality, and you have a guy who can get along with almost anyone. However, his passion is also his greatest flaw. When papyrus gets really into something, he sometimes doesn’t see the risks involved and will continue on to that goal regardless. He’s impulsive

For his job, he owns an escape room! It’s actually several different rooms: a large main room, four smaller surrounding ones, the lobby, and a medium room for parties. The puzzles and themes of the rooms change every other month

Star (underswap sans): he’s an adorable positive energy ball of PURE EVIL. Ok ok, not true evil of course, but Star is a manipulative little imp. He goes by the rule of: “if you won’t treat me like an adult, then I’m going to take advantage of it.” He’s definitely not above using his looks to get what he wants. With his friends, Star is easygoing and playful. He loves to tease and flirt and prefers friends who can keep up with him. He’s also a bit of a scatterbrain and has a bad habit of taking on more than he can chew. Star is a wonderful motivator but has issues with being too pushy if he feels like his friend isn’t progressing fast enough.

His job is in the police force as a detective and SAR (search and rescue). His main priority is finding missing persons and taking out human trafficking rinks

Honey (underswap papyrus): honey is a total sweetheart. He can be pretty shy and anxious when you first meet him, but if you’re nice, he’s quick to latch on and adopt you into his friend group. When he’s comfortable, he’s a very chill and playful guy. He has a raging motherly streak and doesn’t realize sometimes that he’s nagging. Honey is a romantic at heart and just wants someone he can be sappy with. He does get very clingy since he assumes that most people are only around him because of Star. Don’t mess with his kitchen. He’s a total nerd and will happily fixate on almost any fandom with his friends

His job is an online translator. He mostly does written legal documents but also sometimes acts at the translator for zoom meetings. Honey prefers to work from home

[bullet-prooflove]

WIP Wednesday: Crash!Series - Manny Perez x Reader

Thank you for the tag: @janto4ev

You’re test driving a new chopper today, one that’s been donated to the Search and Rescue team by Nozzle. For them it’s outdated but for SAR it’s an upgrade from the current model they use, they’ve chosen you as a former coast guard pilot to put her through her paces before they accept ‘the gift’.

For Nozzle it’s part of a PR campaign to clear up their image after the debacle with the winery. Faye’s company had taken a huge hit after that fire had gotten out of control, they’ve been trying to claw back their reputation ever since.

Manny hates the thought of you being used like that but the thing is he kind of gets it. There aren’t many female pilots out there, especially not working SAR. It helps that you’re photogenic, which is why the public relations team for Search and Rescue have thrust you into the limelight.

“If it boosts awareness and fundraising for Search and Rescue than I’m happy to do it.” You’d told him after Luke Leone had approached you about it. “I don’t give two shits about Nozzle.”

No pressure tags below:

@storiesofsvu @drabbles-mc @thebejeweledwatercat @juneknight @bageldaddy @the-hinky-panda

[sugurus-slxt]

Hi! Can i ask for an emergency request for a tokyo revengers headcanons with an s/o who’s trying to recover from anorexia but is not skinny? (Im trying to recover from atypical anorexia (same as anorexia but you look “normal” or not as underweight) and i would like to feel less alone) if you could do chifuyu or kazutora would be great but any character is fine! Thank youu!! I love your writing

Tokyo Revengers Comfort – S/O recovering from atypical anorexia

A/N: Hi Hi Hi Anon. I’m really sorry you have to deal with this alone but you can reach out anytime I’m here and I’m sure so many other people would be willing to talk if you’d like to. I hope these little HCs help. I tried my very best I hope they make you feel less alone. Remember I believe in you and I’m sure both of them would be proud of you as well. ~ Love Sar-chan <3

Side Note: I am not as up to date on Tokyo Revengers as I should be and this is my first time writing for these characters so please bear with me. I apologize if they seem a bit ooc.

Lineup: Matsuno Chifuyu, Hanemiya Kazutora

Warnings: eating disorder, (atypical) anorexia

Matsuno Chifuyu

I think when Chifuyu finds out he’s in a brief amount of shock but he’d put that aside and pull you into a gentle embrace at once. He initially doesn’t want to let you go but he really takes moment to appreciate that you told him.

“Thank you for trusting me and allowing me to know. It must have been hard to but I want you to know up front I’d never leave you to deal with this by yourself, I’m gonna help you all the way ok,” he pulls you into a hug and kisses your forehead, “I love you and we’ll get through this.”

He will ask you how you want to go about this at first; he wants to make sure you’re ok with all the steps you’re taking towards recovery. He wants to be involved but he also doesn’t want to push so sometimes he’d hold off until you tell him or he’ll find an appropriate time to ask.

Although he doesn’t want to bombard you with reminders he does so in your best interest but he’ll do it in many different ways. Sometimes it’s a text, he’ll set reminders on your phone or he’ll leave stick notes around the host.

The little reminders aren’t just to remind you to eat and drink water and take care of yourself; each one comes with a bit of encouragement and affirmation. Things like: You can do it baby I believe in you, You’re doing great I love you, and Have a good day babe, keep it up <3.

I think Chifuyu will make lunch for you before he leaves for the day and he’ll video call you and eat lunch together; he doesn’t miss a single one. If you come with him he’ll really want to feed you and do so with a blush across his cheek.

He makes sure you drink water in between so you don’t get upset and feel nauseous.

He never forces you to overeat but he always makes sure you’ve had enough.

Doctor appointments he always wants to take you, he wants to be there for support.

He’s really observant and reassures you often because he wants you to remember he is there for you.

------------

Hanemiya Kazutora

Kazutora kinda tears up he doesn’t want to believe it but he takes a minute and walks to you slowly wrapping you in the tightest embrace because he’s really sorry for not noticing.

“I’m going to do my best to take care of you and help you. I’m always going to be here, I- I’m so sorry I didn’t notice y/n.”

He’d do research because he wants to do this right, he cherishes you and he wants to make sure you know that.

I don’t think he can cook but he will learn to cook small things at first for you and he’ll pride himself on getting better. He looks at you every time you try something he’s made and will offer you a small smile.

He’s always checking up on you and asking if you’re ok and if you’ve eaten. He gets really worried because you’re always on his mind so sometimes he might be excessive.

Sometimes if you suggest something to eat he makes no fuss even if he doesn’t feel like it for him it’s a positive sign and he really just wants to make you happy.

He initially doesn’t know if you want him to come if you have any appointments and such but when you assure him it’s fine he sits and takes notes.

Kazutora isn’t sure how much you are eating but I think he learns to pick up on when you’re still hungry but are straying away. I think he’ll promise to treat you to certain things you want to do at the end of each successful week but sometimes he gives and even when the week doesn’t go how it's planned he’ll fulfill your wish.

If you call and say you’re feeling unwell or any type of way he’s going to drop everything and come to you. Kazutora is going to hold you gently and ask you what’s wrong he’ll spend most of the time listening. He’ll be careful of his wording because he doesn’t want to upset you.

He’s going to be there every step of the way and even if he isn’t present he’s finding out, he really wants to help you.

I’m hoped this helped and I’m sorry if it didn’t but my inbox is open if you need to talk. Remember I believe in you anon and thank you it means a lot to me that you like my writing and trusted me with this.

[claireunoia]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐴𝐿𝑆𝑇𝑅𝑂𝐸𝑀𝐸𝑅𝐼𝐴 | 𝑠. 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑛 ೃ࿔₊•

❥⋆｡˚ 𝑆𝑌𝑁𝑂𝑃𝑆𝐼𝑆 | 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙖 ♡︎.

❥⋆｡˚ 𝑃𝐴𝐼𝑅𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆 | 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙!𝙨𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙝 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

❥⋆｡˚ 𝑊𝑂𝑅𝐷 𝐶𝑂𝑈𝑁𝑇 | 1167

❥⋆｡˚ 𝑊𝐴𝑅𝑁𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆 | 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙, 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝗶𝘁’𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵 𝗿𝗼𝘁, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝟮 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘀!, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗵 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆?

masterlist / navigation

your closest friend sarah cameron is finally back home, to you and to the rest of the pogues along with john b. you never thought you’ll ever be able to see her face again, that thought scared you to depths of your soul and body. but when you and the pogues found the both of them standing dead smack in front of you, the light that was once in your life shined again in that moment.

you were once a kook with sarah, the bestest of friends since you both were itty bitty blooming children. you’ve been by sarah’s side since damn near the beginning and you would always be by her side until you can’t anymore.

now that you and sarah found a home within the pogues, they accepted you both; with lots of trouble at first but you two earned your stripes. as much as you love the pogues tremendously, your heart always lies with sarah and you think it would always be.

you don’t mean to sound like that but sarah is just a bit above them when it comes to the ‘love’ category. and the rest of the pogues absolutely know that by yours and sarah’s actions you both show on a daily basis, especially when you all found her and john b. sarah cameron is the part of you and you were hers, no you, no sarah, no sarah, no you.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

it was such a good night. an amazing night, definitely one for the books for sure.

it was no one but your family enjoying each other’s company, having fun, and just having the times of your lives together in the backyard of the chateau. from playing in the hot tub, to you and the girls plus jj dancing to the blaring music that played during the reunion. it was so amazing, you couldn’t or wouldn’t wish for anything else because you were surrounded by genuine happiness for the first time in a long time.

after all of the crazy partying had died down to you all chilling in different spots talking to one another, sarah suddenly glanced at you while john b was talking to pope. you caught the sudden eyes on you immediately and found the pair that were seeking, which was your best friend, sarah. the blonde girl smiled softly at you, placing her red solo cup down beside her to look back up at you.

her hand waving in a forward motion while her head tilted to the side, indicating to follow her. you giggled with a confused look on your face, taking her hand and getting up with the girl. jj had noticed you two getting up and of course called you both out, “what’re two ladies up too”

“bestie time, which happens to be none of your business jj” sarah voices with a laugh, jj hands shooting up in defense. john b had told y’all to have fun and be careful before you both had head off which sarah nodded too and reminded him that the both of you aren’t going far.

once you both got out of sight of the pogues and the beautiful lit up backyard you finally asked sarah your dying question. “sar, where the hell are you taking me!” “just shut up and follow me!” the girl giggles loudly, pulling your arm to her liking while you just follow her every which way through the woods. after a couple of more seconds of jogging, you both made it to a huge flower field with a variety of different bright colored flowers. the sight widening your eyes and making them glow brightly with awe and amazement. you absolutely love flowers.

sarah pulled you in a bit closer, dropping your hands to throw her arms out to show you the field. a quirky “ta-da” leaving her lips, a bright smile itching on her face at your reaction to all of the flowers in front of you. “i-its so beautiful, sarah” you whisper, staring ahead once more before you met the brown orbs of your best friend. “cmon girl, let’s get settled” sarahs hands went back to touch your warm ones and began to once more pull you deeper into the field until she found a good spot to put everything.

she then took the backpack she was carrying on her back off to open it, pulling out some things for you and her. she pulled out a lengthy, fluffy blanket and some plain headbands. you held the headbands in your hands while sarah laid out the blanket on the field of petals. once she was done and sure there weren’t anymore crinkles she motioned you to get settled down on the blanket with her.

sarah pearly whites were blinding as she smiled at you with love and happiness.

“i remember how much you loved flowers when we were little. you would always make me cute flower headbands and find the prettiest flowers for me to wear in my hair. when i was… gone, everytime i spotted a blooming flower while running from the world, i always thought of you. so i remember seeing this field and i just had to show you before anymore shit goes wrong, i also got you something while i was in nassau”

sarah stopped talking momentarily to reach in the pockets of her backpack, pulling her hand out and revealing a beautiful, gold necklace that had an alstroemeria flower charm dangling on it. the sight making you tear up, a little giggle leaving you while you tried to fan the incoming tears away from your eyes. sarah laughed a teary giggle as well before placing the jewelry in your hand, her fingers clinging to yours. locking both of your hands together.

“a awesome girl i met named cleo helped me with it, the flower symbolizing friendship. i knew i had to get it for you” she finished her words with a bunny like smile, cooing with defeat when she saw a tear drop from your eyes.

“ohh noo, don’t cry baby” sarah whined while holding her own happy tears, her fingers coming up to swipe at the bottom of your eyes. wiping the moisture away while moving your curls away and out from your face. “i love you so much, sarah. you’re such a caring person and an incredible friend anyone could want, i will forever be grateful for you. thank you so much for being in my life” you finished with a smile of your own, sarah immediately pulling you into a heart-clenching hug.

her arms clinging onto you tightly, yours just squeezing her with the same amount of tightness. the both of you rocking back and forth as you both embraced eachother. you pulled back from sarah with a laugh and a grin, “i think you would look even more beautiful with a flower crown on your head, don’t you think?”

sarah chuckled, a her head moving up and down in a nod of conformation. “lets do it”

──── ੈ♡˳ ༘ ੈ♡˳ ༘° ੈ♡˳ ༘° ੈ♡˳ ༘° ੈ♡˳ ༘°────

permanent taglist 🏷 / @dummiesshort @itstaskeen @itscaminow @blossomparkers @sunsetholland @bi-lmg07 @hallecarey1 @fairyprettygirly @dreamy-clousds @genyaspoison @teenwolfbitches28 @justsomethings-things @lilostif16

outerbanks taglist 🏷 / @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @chasemadyln @aayaissaa @maybanksslut

[xx-slug-xx]

You didn’t need to clear up anything. In fact, you literally just restated what you’ve been saying the whole time. All you just did was strengthen what I just said. Your argument is weak and filled with holes, like I just pointed out perviously. Was trying to just make a short blurb of my opinion, didn’t really want to write a big long post, but here we are

Mental illness is not “bad”, what you’re looking for is “mental illness can cause challenges for people that can be distressing”. Autism isn’t bad, ADHD isn’t bad, Depression is t bad, and neither is Schizophrenia. Sometimes the symptoms can cause distress at times, but those disorders in their own are not bad. There’s no cure or real treatment for developmental disorders like autism besides being one’s self and not shaming someone’s autistic traits. In fact, when it comes to autism and ADHD, I know MANY people who say that they experience more positives than downsides to their disorders. But if “mental illness bad” is your only take away from how mental disorders can affect someone’s life, then idk what else to tell you that I haven’t already.

I have no idea what “true transgenders” even means (transgender is an adjective btw, not a noun. good dog whistle btw /sar). It could be anything with your views on trans people and probably holds a vastly different meaning than what I would think it means.

Every belief that can be constructed by humans can hold religious power based on your argument. Politics would fit into this category pretty well. Is one’s political identity not reflective of what they find to be “true” in the world while they view the other side’s views on the same subject to be “false”? It even works on a much simpler scale to, such as people who prefer a rural lifestyle not being able to fathom how people can live in heavily populated cities. Their “truth” would be “living in a rural area is the best way to live”. Anything and everything is spiritual by your logic. Simply having opinions regarding a subject is not inherently religious. Being trans or knowing that trans people exist is not religious to everyone who is cool with that sort of thing. Not everyone who is on that side of things agrees on the same thing either, because yes, for some people gender and sexuality is inherently connected to their spirituality. However, that is certainly not the case across the board and I don’t think it’s appropriate to imply that it is. It’s like comparing apples to oranges, they are similar in some areas but vastly different in others.

My opinion? Who cares if someone else’s believes contradict themselves? Everyone does it to some extent, but they don’t recognize it since they believe themselves to be right regardless. If someone’s beliefs aren’t hateful and/or deal in harming others, I couldn’t care less! Sure, I’ll silently think someone else’s beliefs can be weird, but I won’t belittle them or others who think the same way. It doesn’t hurt me or anyone else to agree to disagree unless that person is actively harmful, which trans people are not (and don’t try to argue that we are).

I don’t speak for the entirety of trans people, I only speak for myself, but I just want to be treated with the same level of respect that I give to others. Neutral ground is being respectful, plain and simple. We’re all just trying to live our lives. “We” as in humanity as a whole. Why get angry that someone else’s opinions don’t make sense to you? Especially when that person doesn’t affect you in any other way. You don’t have to understand someone else’s thought process to have a good time and live a happy life. Why be vile and marinate in a kettle of hate?

I don’t feel that black and white thinking (things are “good” or “bad” with no other options) makes for a stable argument. In fact, it weakens it heavily.

Also, I never accused you of being a bigot, just implied that I think you are a moron more than anything (or at least that was my intentions). Never did I imply full on bigotry. But now that you mention it, the ableism and transphobia probably does make you bigoted in some capacity. Since you were quick to say that, it sounds like you get that insult often tbh, which should tell you something. If you have multiple people saying the same thing to you for the same reasons, I’ve learned that means that they are probably right and the only way to fix that for me was to try to fix myself. Look from a outsiders perspective, the human brain holds a sense of superiority over other humans for some reason and it impedes your views on yourself (I know it sounds weird as shit lol) (example being you think you talk quiet or are shy but others say you’re loud and social)

Oops I made this post way longer than it probably needed to be :’)

Terfs are so interesting shshshhdhfhh

[bibblelevi]

Sar I just read the first chapter of silver soul and oh my god that was fucking amazing. How can one chapter have me smiling, laughing and crying, I cannot wait to read the rest. Your writing is absolutely fantastic. ❤️

AHH thank you so much my friend <3 God I remember when ss was originally just gonna be a clump of one shots, and that’s why I feel like chapters 1-3 are way more different than the rest. Or maybe they aren’t and I’m just looking into it too deep.

But I’m so happy you enjoyed and thank you for reading <3 I’ve been making lots of progress with chapter nine so I’m really excited!