#why is it always crack
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Jason being the easiest kid is super funny. Bruce looking at Jason and remembering Dick at 18: “we can work through this. He’ll come around if I don’t give up on.”
Bruce, watching over a freshly street-snatched Jason: Why is he so calm
Having Dick as the rambunctious, feral, and unhinged first child must've given him SO much whiplash once Jason entered the picture. Lil guy just vibed in his own world. Just reading books and doing schoolwork. Baby Jason hurt nobody.
Bruce will just be going over the ground rules of the manor, remembering all the chaos Dick brought upon the household.
Bruce: No swinging from the chandelier.
Jason: ?? I wasn't planning to?
Bruce: No murder.
Jason: What? That never even crossed my mind-
Bruce: And please, for the love of God, don't sneak out and try to beat up the nearest criminal on our block
Jason:
Jason: WHO is responsible for these rules being created??
Bruce will just come home from a long day of work. He's tired and just wants a nice, quiet evening, but he's subconsciously psyching himself up to prepare himself for the chaos he'll witness once he enters the manor
but then Jason's just quietly doing his own thing, maybe even helping Alfred with some chores, reading, or just lounging about in the manor. In general, just causing no trouble and Bruce just turns to Alfred, all worried like, "Is he sick? I don't think children are supposed to behave this way."
#Bruce putting 'No chandeliar swinging' before 'No murder' speaks volumes of the battles he's faced#baby jay was just a lil guy :')#Bruce having a wholesome relationship with jason from the very start: I didnt know this was possible#Bruce and robin!jason were so soft like please read the 80s comics they were SO cute fnksjvkosk#Dick visiting for the very first time since he left home: Why the FUCK is it so peaceful here#Dick not being angry about Jason becoming robin but instead being angry that his new brother isnt driving Bruce up the wall:#'are you even WORTHY of being my successor?? WHERE is your drive?'#jason todd#bruce wayne#batman#red hood#robin!jason#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batdad#batfamily#batkids#incorrect quotes#dc#crack#fanatical asks#fanatical posting#sidenote anon i am so sorry for not answering this earlier i always forget to check my asks ;-;
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Spider-Society and The Day of Lots of Involuntary Trips to Earth-19999. (Finally finished this, god damn.)
I hadn’t seen any takes on what Spider-Society was like during Spider-man: No Way Home (2021), so I thought about it too hard.
I.e. I pulled up a clip of No Way Home to see what the Peter-abduction spell would look like from Miguel’s POV, then realized he'd have no idea what he's looking at and would probably mistake it for something else.
#Peter B Parker x Casual disregard for his own mortality is my OTP#Settle down Mayday Uncle Miggy thinks he just killed your dad#PeBer gets sent to Disney+#Always funny how easy getting out of the wrong dimension is for everyone who isn't Miles Morales#Peter you can’t say that about live-action people that’s racist#big man is an easy target for dramatic irony#my art#across the spiderverse#spider man no way home#spider man 2099#miguel o'hara#spiderman#atsv#atsv fanart#peter b parker#peter parker#mayday parker#spider girl#spider man#marvel mcu#spider man across the spider verse#atsv spoilers#no way home#spiderman no way home#No way home spoilers#I'm sorry I don't know why the horrified man holding a giggling baby is getting me so bad#The main reason this got done was every time I looked in my drafts I would see that panel and crack up.#into the spider verse#into the spiderverse#Spider man
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bless his heart. he doesn't have a clue in the world
#he just really gets me idk why#oliver bearman you have bewitched me mind body and soul#it also cracks me up how hes always at least 15% smilier than kimi is in any given photo#even when kimis smiling hes like :) and ollie is right next to him just (≧▽≦)#ollie bearman#ob87
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why can't gay people just get matching tattoos or rings or sth
#why is it always scars?! /lh#hannibal memes#hannibal shitpost#hannibal crack#hannigram#hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#nbc hannibal#hannibal nbc#murder husbands#memes#secondo#digestivo
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hey remember the post i made that brodad in turnabout would be absolutely hilarious? because i remember. and i cannot forget. and now im thinking about it constantly
please send help
#homestuck#turnabout au#homestuck turnabout#dad crocker#bro strider#kind of#hal strider#lil hal#dave strider#june egbert#fellas why do i always make a crack ship in my mind for the funnys and it ends up consuming me in a serious manner#i need to stop doing that#no but fr i have this one idea about their relationship post canon on earth c and i am going to EXPLODE#old man yaoi strikes again and im too weak for that#brodad#john egbert
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I love how Astarion quotes The Tell-Tale Heart every once in a while. It's a rarer line, and initially I thought it was out of place (Neil is very well versed in theater, so I assumed it was a riff from him), but since reading an analysis of the work I think it was pretty purposeful.
The piece is all about fear and paranoia, things we know Astarion is plagued by despite how he might act. Similarly, the narrator of the story also tries to convince the reader that they are not as troubled as they seem. In the end, the narrator is consumed by the beating of the heart of the old man he killed and dismembered, the sound growing louder and louder until in a fit of rage he reveals the body to the police to absolve himself from the persistent beating.
Except the police never heard the heart beat, because it wasn't the old man's heart at all. The narrator was consumed by the sound of his own heart beating more and more rapidly in his chest from fear. He was the owner of the thing that forced him to reveal his true nature, he is the owner of the tell-tale heart.
And what happens with Astarion after you romance him? He realizes over time that, while he tried to deny his feelings and was initially only interested in manipulating you for his own means, he actually has grown to care for you. You have done something to his heart that hasn't happened in centuries, you have made it feel as if it has started beating again.
Therefore, his tell-tale heart leads him to admit his transgressions, which were committed out of fear and paranoia for his safety.
So the line is actually very, very apt. His confession during Act 2 is his own version of "Villains! Dissemble no more! I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!" Except, of course, it is his own heart that he is unearthing for us (and it's not so hideous, after all).
#astarion#astarion ancunin#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 astarion#i always wondered why he said that line so i looked more into it#and yeah yknow what that DOES fit with him really well actually#i love him 💜 hes my wife#anyways larian's writers continue to impress me#this is just as deep as gale's “doth thy mirror crack?” line#wolfy speaks
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TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog
“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”
High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”
Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.
Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.
“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”
“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.
High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.
Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”
“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”
Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”
“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.
“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.
He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-
Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.
Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.
Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!
And catch him, High General Windu sure did.
“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”
“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.
“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”
“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.
Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”
#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#sw tcw fic idea#look fox has been planning this coup for a while okay he just needed to adjust and get over the initial reaction of Fuck No#if they’re sentient enough for their signatures to have authoritative quality on military reports and to be promoted to chancellor on a#technicality then they’re sentient enough for everything to be victims of systemic oppression and abuse#fox still does not want this position and will yeet it the literal second bail organa isn’t watching his step religiously#a custody battle ensues between Corries and GAR ori’vode for who grts to tackle him (affectionate)#it is solved by getting a bigger room so they can all do it at once#thorn makes a point of jamming his elbow in some soft places. cody and co are disgruntled but accepting of this#he has a bit of a point admittedly and wolffe has to promise not to threaten murder again#plo makes him go to another Effective Interpersonal Communication Seminar (it’s the fifth that year)#anakin is initially outraged on padme’s behalf but she could literally not be happier#fully supportive of being arrested in the name of Fox’ Good#we can still do book club though right she asks. visiting hours don’t apply to chancellor probably#fox shrugs. it’s his next act as chancellor#count dooku: live slug reaction#the systemic issues fuelling the war cannot be solved with a phone call but in absence of someone with two braincells to rub together#the whole thing loses steam and strategy steadily#look it was always a sham that house of cards of a republic/confederacy was waiting to be blown over by literally any light breeze#general grievous implodes from pure rage. legend has it his last word was KENOBAAYYYYY. wipes away tear#thorn laughs so hard when he hears all this he cracks a rib#another day another post of utter nonsense#ponds makes sure to give his fox’ika a hug as soon as he’s floated down bcs ponds is the best#which is why he didn’t get it in the last ficlet for anyone wondering#the only functional one#much like mace windu
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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
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Three tickets to Barbie, please
#this was really funny in my head#hannibal#nbc hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#jack crawford#hannibal memes#hannibal crack#hannibal shitpost#hannigram#clear posts#why is the image quality always so bad unless you click why cant tumblr be normal about image quality
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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[Outtake from iterator Prosperity of Populace final speach to her citizen before its disassembly.]
#pov im throwing my fridged woman into the shark pit hoping shel float#rain world#rain world oc#augh tagging#anyhow im testing the water with posting ocs (very scary) with the second half of my itetor duo that live in my brain#so yeah this is pop she is sooooooo wordy and also getting dead and has been for awhile but its just a silly little guy you knwo#the fun thin about fandom ocs is that you get to play with comepelty different parts of the game world fro fun and profit :thumbsup:#ahem uh as always feel free to ask about my stuff there is only a 40% chance i will be so scared to post asks that it will die in limbo for#ever. but maybe youl get lucky!!!!#hmmmm maybe il post the version without the chat bubbles if im feeling brave also...... i probably wont tho huh#anyhow!#we are listning to crack baby by mitksi it is stuck in my head#my art#also maaaannn you wont belive how many versions of her text i went tough till i settled on this augh rainworld why you so wordy
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What makes the legend of the last hero stand out among the more prominent messianic figures in the story is its ‘every man’ sort of feel. The Prince That Was Promised can only ever be royal - since the existing requirement is to be born of Aerys and Rhaella’s line, who ruled as king and queen. Azor Ahai is interpreted in story as being related to a king. Yet the last hero was just some guy. His tale has been passed down across millennia, but he himself remains anonymous. We don’t know what family or region he came from. He may have been low born or high born, it doesn’t really matter. And what’s most interesting is how GRRM chooses to parallel his story in the published material. Waymar Royce, Bloodraven, Coldhands, Sam Tarly, Bran Stark, and Jon Snow all serve as narrative mirrors for the last hero. But there’s are quite a few differences. Waymar Royce is a highborn lord, but Jon and Bloodraven are bastards. Jon Snow is the typical fantasy warrior, yet Sam and Bran are GRRM’s deconstructions of what it looks like when a boy who doesn’t fit the chivalric ideal of knighthood gets to be the hero. Jon and Bran are also especially noteworthy because they are at the heart of one GRRM’s core thesis statements:
“I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples and bastards and broken things.”
So as a propaganda piece, I'd imagine that repeating this tale goes a long way. Imagine you're some unassuming kid from Flea Bottom. You'll never be the promised prince because you're not related to the king. It's a bit hard to be Azor Ahai because where in seven hells will you get dragon eggs, and how will you attain the magic required to bring them to life? But then you COULD be the last hero. Regardless of who your parents are and what type of blood you've got, you too can gather all your friends and go on a hero's journey. And isn't that what children's dreams are made of?
#it’s part of why I believe the last hero was a man of the (original) night’s watch#the watch itself is a hodgepodge of people - lowborn and highborn/criminal and knight/builders and rangers and book-keepers#they've really got room for everybody#ok now the last hero being created as recruitment propaganda for the watch is my new crack theory#and then the night's king is created as a foil to him kind of as a cautionary tale - a 'WHAT WE'RE NOT GON' DO LADS IS ..."#that's why the night's king is the exact opposite of the last hero in almost every way#the last hero is A guy but the night's king is THE guy - if you catch my drift#anyway just some stupid ramblings#and as always it's important to remember how these legends and tales reflect back on the cultures in which they are held in esteem#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#jon snow#bran stark#the night’s watch#sam tarly#coldhands#bloodraven#waymar royce#the last hero
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Just a reminder that Echo, after being held as a POW for like a year, frozen in a cyro chamber, having just been disconnected from the mainframe by having a cable yanked out of his fucking spinal cord goes:
Echo: *raspy might be dying voice* Rex
Rex: What is it!??? *<- terrified that he is absolutely dying*
Echo: I’ve got a big head ache 😙
#Rex was instantly reminded of why he has gray hair and chronic anxiety#because this motherfucker would jump him from the vents#like Echo#honey#you look half dead and just had a cable ripped out of your head#PLEASE take this a little more serious 😭#but anyways I love him#this scene always cracks me up#he’s so silly 🥹#Rex has long since learned why the Rishi Moon tried to kill Echo and Fives#they made it his issue#anyways#the clone wars#star wars#sag’s stuff#arc trooper echo
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compilation of color doodles im slamming together into one post
#color sans#toffeesdoodles#hes good i promise#how long have i been forgetting the other crack in his head#sigh#why do i always do this#color!sans#them all being upset was not the intention but here we are
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I got bored.
For those occasions when the straights can't fathom why you ship The Gays™
#i was inspired#mostly i just saw deadpool vs wolverine but it got me thinking#made because my sister didn't completely understand why we all thought the honda scene was gay#and because the few times we share a fandom she doesn't always understand why i ship something#ill use this to make her understand now#also considering making some specifically for yuri polycules asexuals and various genders lol#but for now its just the gays™#“why do you think they're gay?” bingo#shipping#crack shipping#gay ships#gay shipping#yaoi#fujoshi#i dont consider myself that last one but i feel like they'd appreciate this <3#uhhh and other tags idk#aml speaks#bingo card#bingo#this was made at like 7am idc if it looks good or not it was just for fun#ship bingo#shipping bingo#gay ship bingo#gay ships bingo#gay shipping bingo#listen im just trying to cover all my bases here ok#and yk what only cause i mentioned it in the tags#poolverine#aml memes#forgot about that one lol
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💚🚲 Same for me Harry
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