#why have the talk when I can have my partner do it for me

[h-sleepingirl]

Trance Processing

Sometimes I think people are so scared of thinking things during trance, of knowing things about how hypnosis works, or about getting distracted. But your hypnotized brain can come up with amazing things -- things you’d NEVER think about when you’re awake.

He was hypnotizing me on our date this weekend and it was just one of those times that I went DEEP -- that I felt myself shift out of reality and into a space I never really understand. There are times when this happens for me with a certain lucidity, very much like how people explain inducing lucid dreams from wakefulness, shifting into a dreamscape while you are aware of your state of consciousness changing around you.

I stared up through lightly wetted eyelashes, and they began to refract rainbows from the harsh lights dotting the ceiling. Twitching, glowing, otherworldly rainbows all overlaid on my vision. I thought in a spellbound moment: “People could see these and think they’re angels.”

I remembered a concept extrapolated from Maimonides, the famously rationalist Jewish philosopher: Angels are no more than the natural forces of the world. Not separate mystical beings, just all forces that make the universe function. Angels for why the wind blows, angels for all the tiny mechanisms involved in a blade of grass growing.

So I thought maybe Maimonides would say there WERE angels in my eyelashes, angels responsible for carrying my partner’s words into my head and hypnotizing me.

Then something in his voice hooked itself into my body, making me shudder, and making the idle thoughts melt away.

I really think there is something to embracing “trance processing” -- even Erickson in 1970 talks about how in hypnosis, people’s thoughts don’t stop but instead take on a dreamy, weird quality. 

I think part of that is relaxing our urges to be hyper rational about hypnosis. I don’t think analysis itself is a problem -- and I don’t even think rationalizing is always an issue. I have gone plenty deep crunching on technique and theory in the midst of trance. But I think you can learn to develop a sense of wonder at what your brain is doing that will lead to a holistic view of trance as something mysterious and magical.

The reality is, you can’t anticipate what your brain is going to do in trance. And it’s amazing to me that it doesn’t have to fit a format or follow a script or sound sane. Angels in my eyelashes hypnotizing me? Come on. Obviously that’s weird. But it was a little poignant dream-thought in the middle of intimate time. And that’s what it’s all about -- not the stories you tell other people, but what your brain is actually doing, what you and your partner are actually creating together.

(I wrote a weird guide in 2023 called SIX DAYS ASLEEP that was created to help people build their “trance processing” muscles, if you’re interested. It’s hosted in full on my website.)

[mylovesstuffs]

OT13 reaction to their s/o stuttering while explaining something

Request: Celeste hello it's me again LMAOOO I hope you're doing fine my queen 🫶 so hear me out, ot13 with s/o that always stutter whenever they tried to talk with them or explain something that they don't understand. I hate that whenever I tried to explain something to my friends, I'm always stuttering ended up I became quite person 😔 idk if you already nake it or not.

- ⭐️ anon

A/N: Aww my love, first of all, you’re amazing just the way you are and stuttering when explaining something doesn’t make you any less smart or capable! Please don’t let stuttering stop you from speaking up. You have important things to say and your voice deserves to be heard! Sending you so much love!

Absolutely Patient Kings (Would Wait Forever for You to Finish Without Rushing You)

Joshua: The most reassuring and patient partner. He’d probably hold your hands while you talk, nodding and smiling to encourage you. If you got flustered, he’d rub your back and say, “No rush, sweetheart. Just tell me however you can.” Even if you ended up not finishing your explanation, he’d still act like he understood just to make you feel better.

Wonwoo: He’d just stare at you with soft eyes, never once interrupting or making you feel rushed. If you got too frustrated, he’d calmly say, “It’s okay, take your time.” He hates the thought of you going quiet because you feel insecure. If you ever gave up mid-sentence, he’d encourage you to try again or just wait until you feel ready.

Woozi: He might seem intimidating at first but he’s actually super patient. He understands that thoughts can be hard to put into words sometimes (since yk, he's a songwriter sou; it's different from stuttering but you get the point), so he’d just listen, nodding along to make you feel comfortable. If you ever got upset, he’d softly say, “It’s fine, baby. Just say whatever comes to mind. I get you.”

Encouraging Sweethearts (Would Help You Find the Right Words Without Making You Feel Bad)

Dokyeom: Would be the most verbal with his support. “Awww, my baby is working so hard to explain! So cute.” If you got upset, he’d say, “Hey, hey! No getting mad at yourself. Take your time, jagi. I’ll wait forever if I have to!” He’d try to finish your sentences but only if you wanted him to. If you shook your head, he’d laugh and say, “Okay, okay! I won’t guess, you got this!”

Mingyu: Would physically encourage you like nodding enthusiastically, leaning in closer, or squeezing your hands. If you got too flustered, he’d pout and say, “Why are you embarrassed? I love hearing you talk!” He’d make you feel so so so safe that even if you were stuttering like crazy, you wouldn’t feel judged at all.

Seungkwan: He’d notice if you’re struggling and immediately jump in to help. “Wait, are you trying to say [this]?” If he guessed wrong, he’d giggle and say, “Oops, my bad. Keep going, baby, I’m listening.” He’d never let you feel embarrassed about stuttering—he’d even make fun of himself for the times he trips over his own words just to make you laugh lol. That's how much of a sweetheart our boo seungkwan is.

Dino: Dino would be so supportive but also a little bit awkward at first because he wouldn’t know how to help. He’d be like, “Uh…do you need me to like…wait? Or should I help?” He would never judge you and over time, he’d probably develop his own way of helping you feel comfortable. He’d even joke around like, “It’s okay, jagiya, I stutter when I rap too!”

Would Try to Decode Your Words (Determined to Understand You No Matter What)

Jun: Would be the most dramatic about it in the cutest way. If you stuttered too much, he’d go, “Ahhh! The suspense! I must know what you’re trying to say!” He’d grab your shoulders and act like he’s on the edge of his seat. You’d roll your eyes, but his goofy ass would make you laugh and forget about feeling insecure.

Hoshi: Would take this as a challenge. If you stuttered too much, he’d squint and go, “Okay, wait. I think you’re trying to say...hmm…” He’d get all dramatic about it, acting like Sherlock Holmes trying to solve a mystery. “Okay, one more time, baby! I’m almost there!” You’d end up laughing and he’d just grin and say, “See? No stress! Just talk however you want.”

Vernon: Would be so chill about it that you wouldn’t even feel nervous after a while. He’d nod and hum while you talk, even if you were struggling to explain. If you gave up, he’d shrug and say, “It’s cool, I kinda get what you mean. But also, no pressure, you don’t have to explain if you don’t wanna.” He’d make you feel like stuttering isn’t a big deal at all, which would actually help you feel less self-conscious.

Would Try to ‘Fix’ the Problem (But Only Because They Love You So Much)

Seungcheol: He’d notice if you were getting frustrated with yourself and would not let that slide. “Hey. Stop that. You’re explaining just fine.” If you got quiet, he’d cup your face, “You don’t have to rush. Just say what you can.” He’d be so reassuring that even if you were a mess of stutters, you’d feel safe trying again.

Jeonghan: Would tease you about it but only to make you laugh and ease your nerves. If you got too flustered, he’d smirk and say, “Why are you so nervous? It’s just me, angel.” He’d never let you feel insecure but if he saw you getting upset, he’d immediately drop the teasing and softly say, “I’ll wait as long as it takes, okay?”

Minghao: Hao hates seeing you get frustrated. He’d say (with that soft voice of his), “Take a deep breath, love. No need to rush.” But if you kept struggling, he’d eventually ask, “Do you want me to guess? Or should we write it down instead?” He wouldn’t want to “fix” you but would try to find ways to make you feel less stressed about talking.

[fishnapple]

Relationship Green flags/ Red flags

This list was a part of another post but I want to make a separated one for it, to serve as a reminder, for myself, and for anyone who needs it. I will update the list if I think of anything more to add.

Green flags

When the couple is also best friends with each other

When they're genuinely curious about each other

When two people walk side by side, not one in front and one behind

They protect each other in front of other people no matter how wrong the other person is (not counting abuse or other legal crimes), but still be able to see the wrong doings clearly.

When both partners put the other's well-being at the top of their priority list

When the first person comes to your mind when you want to share something good or bad is them

When there's a spark in the eyes when they look at the other person

Listen attentively when the other is talking

Ask how you feel

When both can feel comfortable being honest (able to voice their concerns, worries, fears, hidden dreams, aspirations etc.)

Encourage and support each other towards betterment

Celebrate each other's happiness

Keeping their words

Willingness in solving problems

When both are willing to compromise and work together/to face the ugly sides of the relationship or of the self and the other person/ to communicate/ to learn

When both are proactive in the relationship, taking turn to suggest fun things to do, where to go, what to eat etc

All kinds of virtues like honesty, patience, kindness, loyalty, respect, etc. (not just towards you only, but to others in general also)

Love children

Love animal

Consistency: putting in a consistent effort, not being wishy-washy

Fun & humour

Feeling safe in each other's presence

Respect for boundaries and consent

Emotional compatibility

The feeling of being at ease with each other & trust (you can have all the above but without these two feelings, it's kind of meaningless)

and many more.

Red flags

When one is talking and the other is looking elsewhere

When one is in front while the other is behind

Being judgmental and opinionated, about all kinds of topics

Criticising the other person's taste, hobbies, habits constantly. Especially in front of other people.

Calling names (not the cute endearments)

Cruelty & Violence of any kind (obviously)

Silent treatment (refusing to communicate)

Inconsistency

Being avoidant, ghosting (at this point it's not a red flag, it's an ending)

Empty promises. NATO (No Action - Talk Only)

Condescending

Tell you what you're feeling

Unwillingness to compromise/ to understand, unequal effort, one-sided conversations

Lack of care for the well-being of the other person

Lack of appreciation for the other person's achievements and success

When you're low on their priority list ("I will have time for you after I'm done with this or that, after I met with my friends and other important people in my life")

Feeling like you have to tip toe around the other person

Feeling like you have to do something to get the other's attention

Asking the other person for permission to do something like buying something, meeting someone, going somewhere (I'm not talking about getting consent to do something with each other or getting something related to the other person, it's about decisions that normally one can make independently for oneself)

Jealousy & possessiveness (the idea can seem attractive on paper but the reality is usually not)

Demanding to know every secret, every password, getting access to every personal space of the other person

Lack of respect for boundaries and consent

Passivity (waiting for the other to initiate, never initiate anything)

"Why are you doing this to me?", victim mindset, constant blaming

Dating someone while thinking that person is not attractive or up to one's level or vice versa, thinking that person is way above one's level (the idea of "level" is damaging, both ways of thinking can bring illusions, unrealistic expectations and power imbalance)

Lack a healthy sense of self

and many more.

[thistlecatfics]

In response to my post about Andromeda and Ted, @teddytonks asked about Andromeda hating Remus, and I do have thoughts!

[for ease, I'm writing this as if they’re all cis and use the same pronouns as they do in canon, but I do love my trans headcanons for this family]

One relevant question: does Andromeda find out Remus tried to leave Tonks? Very reasonable that she would never find out either because Tonks has the sense not to tell her or because Remus’s attempted running away was so short that Tonks herself is able to pretend like it never happened. BUT if she finds out???

Ted Tonks risked his life when he married Andromeda. He risked his life when she got pregnant. He was put in serious, active danger through those things (at least in their minds – I do love the hc that Bellatrix did protect them but I don’t think they would believe that). And he loved her enough that he was willing to risk so much for her! And to be her partner! And to parent Tonks! The courage it took. 

To find out that her child was pregnant and then the father literally ran away because he was scared??? Like truly. The rage. Her daughter deserves so much better. 

I absolutely think that Andromeda retained some of her prejudice from her upbringing – I just think it’s impossible to get rid of all of it. (Things like calling Tonks ‘Nymphadora’ when Tonks clearly has a preference for Tonks indicates a level of not necessarily respecting a child’s autonomy, among other things.) She absolutely would be prejudiced against a werewolf. 

A werewolf who is a decade older than her child? Poor is fine. Ted was poor. But a werewolf?? Not even a human??

I think you can argue that Remus’s self-loathing makes him not quite a reliable narrator about his own experience (he hates himself for being a werewolf and so he reads into everyone’s behavior that they feel the same), but I mostly trust him here:

“You don’t know how most of the Wizarding world sees creatures like me! When they know of my affliction, they can barely talk to me! Don’t you see what I’ve done? Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage, what parents want their only daughter to marry a werewolf?”

The tragedy is that they co-create this reality. 

Andromeda thinks less of him for being a werewolf. Remus thinks less of himself for being a werewolf (to say the least). Because of that, he behaves in ways that are attempts at self-protection (running away, trying to escape the possibility of, essentially at least in his mind, turning a child) BUT end up reaffirming the belief that werewolves aren’t trustworthy. That a werewolf could never be a good partner and good parent – because what if he runs away again? 

(which is one of my favorite interesting and awful things about how humans try to self-protect! In trying to avoid scary feelings, we tend to create more circumstances for those feelings! Eg drinking to avoid feeling shame -> feeling more shame about drinking. Avoiding responding to friends because in your loneliness you feel like they don’t like you -> fewer outreaches from friends, more loneliness etc.) 

(I also am now thinking about the sheer trauma of being turned as a child and how much that's being triggered by the possibility of passing down lycanthropy to a child! but that'll be a separate post of being bitten as a CSA metaphor.)

By contrast, Ted is, I think, much more tolerant of Remus (not having grown up with anti-werewolf prejudice) and also much more trusting of Tonks’s decision making for herself. I don’t think Ted is disgusted by Remus – but I do think Andromeda is. (To be fair to Remus, having someone who looks like Bellatrix as your mother-in-law feels like a particularly terrifying experience. Like even if he weren’t a werewolf, I could imagine feeling the intensity of ‘you’re not good enough for my daughter’ radiating off of her lol.)

Anyway. That’s why I think Andromeda is co-president of the “I hate Remus Lupin” club along with Snape lol.

Side note: If you're looking for some amazing Andromeda & Remus interactions, nothing beats @leftsidedown's The Grace Unasked For (18k, T, canon divergent).

[always-andromeda]

Normally I would stay out of things that don’t involve me whatsoever. And I still very much believe that. But if I can use my voice to say one thing, I want to at least try to make a productive impact. No "read more" tab because I don't care if this long ass post clogs up dashboards.

I didn't read the fanfic at the center of all of this. But I was mutuals with the person who wrote it. And I grew up around people who felt all sorts of ways about the confederate flag. For example, I had a friend with a military husband who thought it was just fine and dandy to hang one up in his home under the guise that it was a symbol of "heritage" and all sorts of other vague explanations that danced around the racially insensitive history of the flag. It was this incident, amongst many others, that led to my friend divorcing said husband. I remember a lot of people in our social circle telling her she was overreacting when it happened instead of questioning why in the fuck her partner would be so jazzed about displaying such a flag in his space to begin with.

I bring this up because this is exactly how alt-right ideologues get away with a lot of their bigotry. They love using covert symbols and phrases as a thin veil for their hatred; that is the point of a dog whistle. It is meant to signal to others in their space that hey, I ascribe to this harmful set of beliefs without tipping off the general public. Because they know that the general public isn't likely to accept a lot of their disgusting ideas when they say them outright.

So they have to gently pepper them into everyday society.

Put a string of seemingly unrelated numbers or abbreviations in your social media bios.

Throw out an "innocuous" hand gesture and say, "But it just means that my heart goes out to you!! 🥺"

Write a throwaway detail into your fanfic about a confederate flag being in a fictional character's home as if it is another piece of set dressing.

While this isn't me theorizing that the mutual who posted the original fanfic was some secretly alt-right weirdo, I do want to illustrate how easy it is. Because these ideas extend outside of just fandom communities.

I always believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. Some people simply do not know what these symbols mean. And while that is valid, that is also a privilege that black and brown people are often not afforded; a privilege that many people of color in our community have been screaming at us about for an extremely long time. On top of that, is it that same benefit of the doubt, that plausible deniability, that allows bigotry to unfurl it's tentacles and infiltrate even the most well meaning of spaces. Those alt-right weirdos prey on our ignorance to normalize and oftentimes even defend these concepts.

So if there's anything I can impart on my well-meaning white mutuals, it's to educate yourself. Being anti-bigotry and anti-fascist isn't an outfit you take on and off at will. You aren't those things simply because you say you are. These are things we have to put work into and actually prove. We have to read more, talk more, question more, and put a conscious effort towards being more understanding people. Listen to people of color when they are telling you that there is a real fucking problem with racism in fandom spaces. But, in the same breath, do not automatically default to relying on the black and brown folks around you to educate you every single time something like this occurs.

I know that most of you people are incredibly intelligent and probably very well meaning. Hell, even me trying to appeal to those of us who are "well meaning" feels so icky and performative. But this isn't the time to be appealing to bigotry itself either. It is the time to be arming ourselves with information and huddling around the people of color in our communities who are regularly being viciously attacked and gaslit for speaking out about these things.

I know that we are all capable of so much better than this bullshit. Please, don't just hold each other accountable when shit finally hits the fan and pat yourselves on the back for being such wonderful allies. Listen to people of color the first time around and put in the work to educate yourself.

[ghouljams]

Hello, I just wanted to ask a sex question you can ignore it if you want to. That's cool with me

I recently got a boyfriend who wants to talk about sex, and I’m totally okay with that—I want to as well. But I’ve never really explored down there, so to speak. I think the reason I haven’t is because I’m scared of the pain. I have a moderate pain tolerance, but the idea of it hurting makes me scared.

I’ve done research and watched videos, but instead of helping, it’s just making me more scared and frustrated. It feels like it’s not working or that it won’t be pleasurable for me. Plus, a lot of the videos about first-time experiences look painful and bloody, which is honestly terrifying.

Does it really get better? And is there any way to make it not hurt?

So first things first! The pain is minimal, and the blood is minimal (unless you have a clotting disorder then maybe not as minimal)

Second, yes my love there are a million ways to make it not hurt and it does absolutely get better REALLY FAST.

Tearing the hymen happens when you're not properly warmed up or stretched, so to make it better you just gotta get warmed up! That means foreplay and lots of it, until you can't take it anymore! Also ask your partner to go slow and finger you, most of the discomfort (not pain, I would call it just sort of uncomfortable) comes from never having put anything in that part of your body before, you're stretching a muscle that isn't used to being stretched, so it can be uncomfortable. That's why it's important to stretch beforehand and get comfortable with the feeling of penetration.

Also go slow! If it's your first time make sure you're communicating with your partner what feels good and what doesn't! They want to know that you're having fun, so don't by shy about it. It should feel good even if you're a virgin. It might feel a little weird or different, I think it feels a little bit like a burning stretch if I'm not warmed up, but it's not entirely awful, and that is easily solved by:

Lube! Lube is your best friend! If you feel tight or uncomfortable when your partner is putting it in, tell them to pull out and get some lube on that thang! No shame in needing a little extra wet down there, lube is a wonderful thing and you should be using it! Lube! lube! lube!

Anyone who tells you that your first time should hurt, or is going to be awful and bloody is just trying to scare you. Fear is the primary tactic that people use to stop others from having sex, and most of it is just stupid nonsense.

And remember that sex isn't the only thing that can break your hymen! I've had friends who broke theirs horseback riding, I broke mine masturbating, I have another friend who broke hers doing the splits. It's a short sharp discomfort that disappears almost immediately. Don't be scared of it.

[dioslesbianwife]

How about the bucciarati gang with the partner that looks like the porcelain doll how would they react to her and her stand.

For some reason I see mista still freaking out especially seeing her at night and almost shot her the first time seeing her 😭

lol, mista would so do that. hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting!

Bruno Bucciarati

He’s calm about it, but internally, he’s analyzing everything about you.

“Your appearance… it’s quite unique. Do people often mistake you for something else?”

Instantly senses that you're much more than you seem- your composure, the way you move just a little too perfectly- it intrigues him.

He’s respectful, though. Never makes you feel alienated.

Once he understands your Stand’s abilities, he factors them into missions immediately.

Leone Abbacchio

Does not trust you at first.

“Tch. What’s with the haunted doll act?” He mutters, side-eyeing you suspiciously.

If your Stand is equally unsettling, he’s even more skeptical. He’s seen weird things, but this? This feels cursed.

Over time, he eases up. When he realizes you’re actually kind, loyal, and reliable, he starts treating you like any other team member.

Will never admit it, but if anyone talks badly about you, he’ll shut them down instantly.

Guido Mista

Immediate discomfort.

If he sees you at night, just standing there in dim light, he is pulling a gun on instinct.

“What the hell-!! Don’t just stand there like that, you’re gonna give me a heart attack!”

He gets especially freaked out if you stay completely motionless for long periods, or worse, if you suddenly move unnaturally fast.

The Pistols, however, love you. They constantly chatter about how cool you look.

Eventually, Mista warms up to you and stops flinching every time you enter the room.

Narancia Ghirga

“W-why do you look like that?” Visibly distressed.

If you don’t blink for too long, he gets nervous. “Can you even close your eyes?! Blink! Blink right now!!”

Like Mista, he’s totally freaked out by your porcelain-like stillness.

However, once he gets to know your personality, his fear fades quickly.

Soon, he’s bragging about you like, “Yeah, my teammate looks like a creepy doll, but she’s badass.”

Probably tries to balance things on your head just to see if you can keep that doll-like stillness.

Pannacotta Fugo

Initially intrigued, but also wary.

“Your skin… is it always that smooth? It doesn’t look natural.”

He’s highly analytical, so he’ll ask a lot of questions, about your Stand, your movements, even your body temperature.

If your Stand has an ability that complements his violent outbursts, he respects you a lot.

Once he trusts you, he treats you no differently from the others, though he still sometimes stares a little too long.

Giorno Giovanna

Not outwardly surprised, but very curious.

“You have an ethereal presence. It’s… quite beautiful.”

He’s perceptive enough to know that despite your appearance, you’re not fragile.

If your Stand has healing or support abilities, he values you highly on missions.

Giorno is never creeped out by you- if anything, he sees you as someone uniquely gifted.

Trish Una

At first, unsure what to think.

“So… do you, like, take care of your skin? Or is it just… naturally like that?”

If you’re poised and graceful, she respects you a lot, she’s drawn to elegant, confident people.

However, if your appearance gets you unwanted attention, she immediately has your back.

Trish is the first one to help you with fashion advice- “You’re already gorgeous, but imagine you in couture.”

[celtrist]

As incredible as it seems, i really like your idea for obsessed sir pentious just acting like a normal romantic partner for alastor (just a little glingy). Dont get me wrong im loving the dark stuff happening in your au, i just thought that sometimes you need a little break from all the dark stuff, a little cup of fluff, a bit of a "safe heaven" you know??

I also dont think that pentious could be same level harmful like vox, vaggie, valentino etc. Yes hes still obsessed so i imagine him wanting to hold hands, watching alastor sleeping, stalking him a little bit but not doing much besides that, making him take care of the eggbois, playing fighting, maybe creating deer related inventions to try impress alastor 🤔

Im a sir pentious fan i think that noodle is just a simple man with simple wishes 💅😅

Yeah, that's sorta my same thought process. Obviously everyone is pretty much OOC in this AU, but I do genuinely try to make it sorta "in character" for them. Like what if these character's with their canon selves WERE put into this situation and how would their obsessions vary?

And Pentious, out of everyone, was like the one character I really couldn't think bad things for. He's just such a wet cat of this series. People call Lucifer pathetic? Did you not SEE Sir Pentious at all? When someone had asked what he'd do, I remember being a bit lost and just saying he offers a bunch of harmless gifts to Alastor that Alastor declines or destroys in his face. And I think at the time I mentioned him being a bit stalkerish, but I might be remembering wrong. But yeah, Pentious' worst crime being a harmless stalker compared to everyone else just feels like it makes sense for him.

And I definitely remember talking about how having some light-hearted stuff in the midst of the dark stuff would probably be good for the AU! I think it was about there being a good end in the AU where the curse is lifted, but it's more or less what you said. The dark stuff can get pretty boring/mind-numbing after a while if there's nothing to like, break the monotony so to speak. It's kinda why, while the AU definitely has some very dark content with it, I have always thought about it a bit more like a dark comedy. Not always obviously, but the whole idea of Vaggie making traps, Charlie's delusions about Alastor and Vaggie's relationship, Lucifer just under the impression they have an "enemies to lovers" thing going on, and even Rosie's and Alastor's occasional lunches together were always meant as sort of dark-comedy parts of the AU. Nothing serious. Heck, both Sir Pentious and Niffty are actually just silly jokes all in all. They're both the most harmless of the crew. This might seem strange with Niffty, but I never really imagined her succeeding in her advances. And like I said, Pentious is just a puppy pretty much. I never imagined (in part because I was never able to) think of anything dark for his character to do. And with you're own thoughts about it, I think it cements the idea for me that Pentious doesn't really have anything dark going on (again, aside from stalking but he also just watches others sleep in the main series, soooo....).

Pentious also works as an occasional "sidekick" so to speak seems kinda fun. It'd be similar to that sort of relationship you see in kid shows where Character A is clearly in love with Character B, and Character B ignores it or brushes it off but will use that crush to their own benefit. Sheldon and Jenny's relationship from My Life as a Teenage Robot would probably be a fairly good sum up to Alastor's and Pentious' relationship? Pentious is way too obsessed from stalking to creepy shrines and poor attempts at flirting, but the guy doesn't really harm Alastor nor wants to harm him in any way. And to be honest? I feel like Alastor would, on some occasions, maybe throw a bone. If only because it wouldn't make Pentious start pushing any harder. Plus, Pentious being more "normal" in the love department compared to everyone else is a bit of a nice contrast to the monstrous actions of everyone else. I never thought about how his obsession would actually be (again, aside from gift-giving and being a doormat to others pretty much), but I do like the idea he would just be in a nice relationship with nothing really terrible happening.

[the-stove-is-divorced]

The importance of infinite tabs, and double checking reblogs lol. 

But YEAH? Violently shaking my head in agreement I swear. The isolation has outright contaminated the characters from themselves! It’s so good because like, how are we doing the CHARACTERS wrong? How do I know, vaguely still, we don’t know her hobbies or interests, better than the show apparently does? Who is THIS Debbie? Who is THIS Mark? The complete refusal to let Mark reflect in ANY capacity to fucking anything anymore is driving me INSANE. Like, okay, sure, we’ve got only eight episodes, but can we still slow the fuck down?

Truly I feel like they’re ignoring Debbie, which is weird because she DOES get spotlight but it’s, again, defined by a romantic relationship, and maybe it’s the rampant pessimism in romance oriented explorations, but what about Olga???? Why not talk to HER? Honestly if there’s a “My Partner is a Super-Hero” meetings, are there any “My Ex Was a Real Super Villain”? Truly let Debbie her drink with her friend PLEASE. She truly needs to have something going on for her. She’s just ????? Sad, Angry Wife or Tired Mom. Can she be a person? 

And truly can we explain or elaborate in Cecil and Debbie???? No???? What the fuck not? Why establish this and then REFUSE TO ELABORATE????? I wanna see Debbie saying “I trust you to lie to me”, I wanna see Cecil say Debbie and see her say “it’s Deborah” or “it’s Grayson,” to establish what LITTLE trust she might’ve had has shattered further. Lemme see Debbie being outright hostile. Lemme see Debbie finding cameras or bugs and smashing them. Finding ways of finding them all. Heck, why not move? Find someone place she can sweep top to bottom and KNOW it’s not been GDA-infected. This could be drama!

Truly trying to give Mark this whole darker, edgy, anti-hero arc is set definition of RUSHING THINGS TOO QUICKLY. Bro you are BARELY a hero. You cannot have a NEW arc when you barely finished the last one. I’m getting whiplash. I don’t know who you ARE anymore. There’s no transition period for anything. It’s A then B. Check the scenes off the list! Moving on ALL THE TIME! I can’t even happily track Mark’s progress or contrast in his behaviors, (which I’d gladly do) because it’s just WHIPLASH. NO INTROSPECTION. WHO the fuck IS MARK GRAYSON ???

Again relating to Spider-Man, there’s an awe and dread when he puts on his darker suit because you KNOW he’s about to fuck some shit up and he’s ANGRY, because what the darker suit means and the classes suit means are WELL DEFINED. They come with differences in characterizations!!!! That’s still CONSISTENT at their core, like there a misconception venom made Peter angry like Peter isn’t an angry asf person. Like Mark could also be this kind of guilty, restrained, morally rigid character. 

Instead I am blanking ????? This is why i stick to guilty magnet Mark, and not like, s3 murder is okay except for when it’s not. 

Gimme me back traumatized Grayson family. I wanna see these mfs in SHAMBLES. Reasonable bad decisions. I wanna see what they THINK. I wanna see how they view things and how they change. 

And honestly yeah. Something like that. So many things get dropped and immediately forgotten like it wasn’t ever there??? Like okay cool animation moment, but what do we do with Mark’s love of comics? Is it escapism? Is it anything? Like, Mark is popular enough to be cosplayed, or even have products in his likeness? Already discussed before but is this money maker for heroes? Just one like about how Mark gets money from it, or it pays for damages would do wonders here but no. 

The 20 year thing always floors me because how have we had this much time to build and elevate the original material, and we have…this. Like huh???? Like okay yes limited budget and small studio and limited episodes but there is something to DO here. You did it better in s1, what happened after that??????

SCREAMING AT THE DESCRIPTION BECAUSE YEAH !! Cradling the character bits with my shaky palms because I’m going insane over this barely explored mfs. Sometimes I shake the show and I get a puff of air. Vague smell of lint. Who the fuck is Duplikate or that bullet guy I forget existed until he spoke again. 

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[hisbucky]

Chris: Buck, can I ask you something? Buck: Of course, bud. Always. Chris: What are the birds and the bees? Buck: ...Did your dad put you up to this? Chris: He said you can explain it better. Buck, under his breath: Of course he did. He is going to owe me so many favors for this.

[necrotic-nephilim]

jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.

even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.

so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.

and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.

[cybergothvox]

At the end of the day, is kin just someone who identifies as their kintype or not? Is it anyone who actually identifies as their kintype, or do they have to perform all these 'correct' behaviours and social dances to prove that you kin- pardon, that you are kin- correctly?

[nozomi-incel]

i openly post about idolizing elliot rodger and hating women, what the fuck are you talking about? Granted I am a hypocrite, but if you couldn't tell by my posts alone that I was gonna be an asshole then that is your problem.

I guess you're right about that, i apologize. I guess this is just evidence that my social cues are shit (it happens a lot, and I've gotten in trouble for it. It's even one of the reasons I am in incel in the first place)

Also, I don't know much about elliot rodger but he seems cool as fuck from what I've heard. If only he were alive to see what he would've become.

Female and male fakecels only exist because of their high standards that they themselves cannot reach, I am not saying they should give up on finding their desired partner, but if you are a person that calls themselves an 'incel' and desires a 10/10 disney princess/prince stacy/chad while being below that standard yourself... then you are a fakecel.

I only brought up the whole disney princess thing because it was a childhood dream of mine that gave me false hope for the future, a mere fantasy I know damn well will never come true.

I never said I was attracted to the guys in those stories.

Infact my standards for a partner are practically lower compared to other women my age, partially because I lowered them voluntarily in hopes it would increase the chances of me finding a partner. (I have a detailed description on what my type is in my pinned post if you wanna take a look)

Also, as a ransom note: I've recently just started coming to the realization that all the "relationships" I've been in were all just glorified friendships with sex jokes every here and there, and that i've never actually "dated" anyone (which is weird to think about, but it is what it is)

I agree with the other guy, male and female incel problems are entirely different. Most people need to accept that.

You're right about that too. Infact I suggested on making a separate tumblr group for femcels so that we can both talk about our experiences without accidentally invalidating the other's experience. The admin of the original "incels of tumblr" group said that it wasn't necessary, but I personally think it'd be a good idea givel hot differently the femcel and incel communities behave.

What do you think?

I don't gaslight people into believing that women are the sole reason why incels exist. I blame the biology coded by mother nature, not the creation itself.

i wish you explained this earlier, and I thank you for clarifying. Admittedly you had me convinced that you were blaming women for your inceldom (a common stereotype made against incels by moids and foids who want to invalidate our experiences), and I can see now that it was just a big misunderstanding.

No amount of stories about your childhood disney fantasies will convince me to feel bad for anybody, woman or man. Nor will you telling me your reason of inceldom; nobody asked to be an incel/femcel. I have never had any hope even as a teenager or child, recognizing the pattern of the blackpill earlier in life will help desensitize you from the propaganda normies use.

I'm aware. I'm just sick and tired of people dismissing my celibacy because they think i'm "too pretty" to be an incel (they don't know that inceldom is caused by anything beyond the person's control, appearance being common, yes, but things like disability and mental health issues can also cause it)

Also, i've been thinking about getting into the blackpill because I'm sick of foids constantly trying to tell me what to think and what to feel simply because they view me as lesser than due to my autism (a stigma i've faced my entire life), and because most of the trauma I've sustained in my life came from women (with the very rare exception of a few men), but I was always blamed for it anytime i spoke out about it because radical feminists have you believe that women are incapable of abuse (when in reality, they are just as capable of it as anyone else).

Do you have any recommendations for people that are new to it and haven't been desensitized by the normie propaganda yet?

Remember, in the incel community, NOBODY IS SPECIAL. We are all the same, we are all lonely, depressed virgins in here that fantasize about the same love we see in media. We are all doomed to be alone. One of the few ways you can escape the curse of inceldom is through a miracle.

I'm aware. I do wish that I could stop getting my hopes up constantly, knowing that it never comes true. It's a really bad habit that the foids in my life have been planting into my head since my days in the SPED classes (grade school), and it always manages to make depressed anytime i found out the truth.

Also, the whole "fantasizing about the same love we see in the media" thing is (as I explained earlier) what I meant when I brought up the disney princess thing.

The incel community already has a stained reputation on the internet and in the real world, no amount of text will convince normies that a percentage of incels are innocent and kind. The only way you could wash the stain off is by inviting tourists and letting them change every single aspect that makes the incel community so special.

I know, and I know there's nothing I can do or say to change that. Infact, when I first started accepting my inceldom and actively talking about it online, i lost a friend of mine i've been close with since I was 12 (that asshole can go fuck himself after he got the cops called to my house and told them I was sexually assaulted knowing damn well I've never been touched by a guy before and never will unless some crazy miracle happens that gets a guy to molest me or some shit)

Nobody is stopping you from coping, you all can cope all you want. The cope I use is determinism, no matter how much you seethe and cry about your loneliness. No man or woman will feel bad for you, that is the reality of the incel.

I never said that there was anything stopping anyone from coping, I was mention it to highlight how everyone's experience as an incel is different.

Other than that though, i do agree.

You don't introduce the incel community to anybody, people will find it by themselves when looking for minds that think alike. [⬛💊]

I see.

Me personally I started learning about inceldom after hearing about some of the rumors regarding yanderedev (who's no longer involved in or associated with the incel community, but I've heard about his experiences with it and found them extremely relatable)

Some people escape the state of incelism, some people stay with it till death, waiting for a person to come along and save them from the inevitable rope in their closet while time marches on.

Those stories have always been pretty wholesome to me, and it sucks knowing the majority of people in the incel community never actually get to experience that freedom.

It's why I've stopped trying to recover from my mental health issues after I quit my last therapist, because i'm always forced into a loop of thinking that everything's gonna get better and that I'll actually have a future worth living for n shit, only to have something super traumatic happen to me and then boom! i'm back where I started nearly 5-6 years ago with no way to recover from it.

Also, as a final note: even if I weren't an incel like all the foids and moids are saying (which i am an incel and have proven to be one, but let's just say that i'm not in this scenario), the incel community (or at least the femcel community in particular) is the only place where I actually feel like I belong in and feel understood in.

I'm too weird for normal friend groups, I'm too "problematic" for fandom spaces (including obscure ones that are dying), hell, even other SPED kids don't want to be around me, which is an extremely isolating feeling considering I've grown up as one of them since fucking preschool.

I'm basically outcasted from any other group.

This community is all i have. If I lose this too, I see no other option.

I just wish I didn't feel so alone..

Anyway, thank you for clarifying on a few things that I didn't understand at first, and I hope you have a good day.

Men can't be "incels"

Men literally cannot be incels. The word "incel" doesn't even have merit. The term is actually "invcel" and it was created by a woman. Men colonized women's spaces of being disgusting and untouchable. Men should be correctly referred to as "mencels." It is not fair to push women out of a space that originally belonged to them by calling them "femcels".

[clits-and-clips]

Spiralling AGAIN would you believe it

[smryshzw]

splitting at my fp so i had to block his entire sources tags and anything related to it but now half the content for this fandom is gonna poof cuz hes such a popular fan favourite but unfortunately the sight of hin makes me sick ! 😋😋😋

[qualityrain]

sorry more yapping. i think “fanon” jn is less “fanon” and more ppl kind of just think abt one aspect of it more than others which is fine! jn has many complexities which makes it fun i think most ppl use it as a comfort thing so its more on the fluff/softer side.