#so that i didnt yell
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Spiralling AGAIN would you believe it
#txt#trying to figure it out#i tried to be there for jim and listen to him and be a good partner#but he barely opened up#i didnt know he wanted to leave me#he chose to open up when i was mad#so i didnt respond#so that i didnt yell#not that that is his fault#i should have done better#but i couldny#in that house#i was so overstimulated all the fucking tome#time#like always#and i didnt even realise it#until he kicked me put#out*#and now im just guilty over everything.#why wasnt i better#why cpuldnt i be better#its not fair that he didnt tell me#3 months and you really couldnt tell me what was on your mind#thats unfair man#i was trying so hard to be better#to do better#giving him space is almost impossible#hes my best friend and my soul mate#i dont want to talk to anyone else tbh#so being ignored is like a knife to my chest and idk what to do about it and this is my last tag i can put it and i just dont even know
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its not my fault i keep playing against Daniel Day-Lewis mfs
#ive got 160+ hours as medic....i know what im doing but some spies are actually just brilliant actors and play in a non meta way#and im so busy keeping your arse alive that if they're going full method on the team - i heal them!#the amount of times people have given out at me is crazy....you didnt spot them either bruv#im not talking about those two times i ubered an enemy spy....corner of shame#ty for the 5k lads#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavy so annoyed he lives through 3 backstabs to yell
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i never know how to phrase it but something about the way beatles biographers and people in general view paul's reflexive placating persona and determination to smooth things over as manipulative or duplicitous and john's reflexive barbed persona and habit of lashing out as brave and subversive despite both being equally defensive mechanisms to shield themselves from the world that resulted in them saying things that weren't true says more about how we culturally view kindness or friendliness as inherently untrustworthy or flimsy and anger and carelessness as more believable as someone's true nature than it says about either of them in actuality
#the beatles#john lennon#paul mccartney#mclennon#idk if im explaining this well but it always gives me whiplash to read how 'beatles historians' elsewhere view them#bc it seems like for all that theyre able to make the simple connection between johns past and trauma to his behavior#as a protective mechanism to shield him from vulnerability#far fewer people make the equally reasonable connection between pauls past#with parents that never said i love you to each other or told their children about a serious illness#and an adult paul who doesnt examine his own feelings much less speak candidly about them#or stories like mike mccartney talking about being beaten by jim while paul yelled at him to just say that he 'didnt do it' so it would sto#and an adult paul who has clearly internalized the basic cause and effect of the things you say and the consequences that come from them#and how the truth is less relevant in those situations than the obvious path of least resistance that will spare you needless pain#idk i have a lot of thoughts and feelings on how people see paul mccartney#i want to shake some of these biographers and be like this mid-20s kid experiencing a level of scrutiny and pressure#the world had never seen before#was not puppeteering everything to meet his vision#he was trying to protect himself and his friends from the very real danger of public perception!!#my posts
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Dadinder and the boys staring in: Cat Snuggles <3
This was a rollercoaster of a drawing but I think I like where it ended up :D
at one point I accidentally set my "draw over everything" layer to multiply, which made everything super dark, and me and my friends agreed it was rad so you guys get to see it. (and another filter cuz it looks cool)
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl narinder#cult of the lamb narinder#cotl aym and baal#cotl aym#cotl baal#cult of the lamb aym#cult of the lamb baal#aym and baal#mewnie art#this isnt a shipping thing so dont yell at me in my asks. I just like it when animal characters cuddle okay?? Snuggles with cat dad alright#also I almost just posted a hastily colored sketch that I didnt like but then decided to just make a new layer and draw over everything#and im so happy I did cuz now it actually looks nice
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staring contest between luffy vs nyan-chan who's winning
#one piece#fanart#my art#monkey d. luffy#asl brothers#revolutionary sabo#portgas d ace#idk why ace is looking mad either#i started drawing this around midnight and idk what past me was thinkinh#the sketch was supposed to be sabo and ace yelling at luffy to come down#but when i did the line art it didnt look right#so now ace is angy and sabos trynna hold him back#tbf i like this look better but i still dont know why ace is angy#up to your interpretation ig
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i like to think they hang out sometimes
#HRRRGH HRR YELLING SUPER LOUDLY this sibling dynamic couldve been so good if the writers didnt make it weird :(#im slacking a bit in the rendering department but its ok i needed to get my feels out#if it wasnt obvious already i really like how karai became the older sister HRJJSOJAS i needed bonding moments#tmnt#tmnt 2012#2012 tmnt#tmnt fanart#art
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The soul of Wicked is randomly inventing extremely elaborate relationships between characters who barely interact at all in canon. Also Fiyero is here.
#I am never drawing Fiyero that detail again but I must admit he is slaying#Also double jointed Fiyero feels so obvious but ive never heard anyone else say it#wicked#wicked movie#wicked 2024#wizard of oz#oz books#land of oz#fiyero tigelaar#boq woodsman#wicked boq#general jinjur#art#digital art#fanart#OK so initially the thought was just that Jinjur had Boq basically kidnapped as a court jester for her amusement#I needed to figure out where to put him since Wicked ends so differently from the book and we dont really know where he goes after the movi#And. Ill be honest having him kidnapped by yet another female dictator felt cosmically funny. Man cannot stop getting into situations.#also it felt mildly less depressing then the other option which was him rotting alone in the woods until people found him#At first it was just gonna be like ooooo she treats him bad and yells go white boy go and threatens to rust him into a statue if he doesnt#Which is still basically accurate. But then I read something on her wiki. And I realized. She is a munchkin too.#That combined with the hc that munchkins have big families meant the next step was obvious. I. should make them related.#They are cousins and Boq feels kinda responsible for not saving her like he promised he would even tho he was just a kid#and he kinda didnt have that option when he was running away to Shiz#So like even tho the whole dictator thing is kinda giving him flashbacks he wants to make sure she doesnt become another Nessa 'cause of hi#Also idk if her age was ever actually stated in the book but I was under the impression she was a teenager just a little older than Tip
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eleven is fascinating to me because he came right off the back of tens horrible traumatic breakdown after he lost everything and he immediately tried to establish himself as the opposite of that. he is funny and goofy and almost childlike, and he bulldozes on in his adventures with amy like nothing happened at all. but then something happens and his masks slips and it's like oh! the core of this man is still anger. he is so so angry all of the time and this façade is the only thing stopping him from being consumed by it. he isn't over any of it and he hasn't moved on. he is wearing a fez and laughing but under that all that exists is age old anger and grief and it is going to consume him
#i do think that this pit of anger was eventually covered and soothed by the ponds#but he didn't adress it and he couldn't even look at it until he was twelve#when he stopped pushing back and repressing everything and finally allowed himself to exist as he was#but ok listen#its all layed out in the first 3 episodes of season 5 and in the way amy sees him#episode 1. here is the new doctor he is energetic and reeling and fun#episode 2. the space whale comparison. here is the new doctor. he is unthinkably ancient and almost godlike but he is so so kind#and patient and good. he is ancient and lonely but he can't stand to see children cry. so the doctor helps people#episode 3. daleks. the doctor is a soldier. these are his age old enemies. he wants them dead and he will stop at nothing#all logic and reason vanish. he is hitting the dalek with a pipe and yelling his head off while amy watches in horror#like obviously we know why but amy didnt#this is not a sane or rational man he is unstable and angry#and in that episode he was stripped back to what he largely is: hate#you would make a good dalek ect ect ect#anyway 3 episodes with 3 very distinct and equally definitely traits layed out like: here you go#i don't like elevens era much but those first 3 episodes were great#doctor who#eleven#amy#eleventh doctor#matt smith#dr who#dw#i mean idk this is what river literally had to spell out for him#eleven was careening completely out of control#how long til doctor means warrior indeed?#mine
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Stanley was fat and ugly and really really stupid.
#pov you didnt choose the left door#and also none of the things he has been yelling at you to choose for the last 20 bazillion restarts#im so sorry pookie i just cannot follow a straight path to save my life#the stanley parable#the narrator#tsp narrator#tsp#tsp fanart#the stanley parable fanart#ive been drawing a lot of old men lately (like four)#good for th ecosystem
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it's not enough to complain on twt I need to complain here too I can't fucking stand my mom's bf I need to MOVE OUT
#its not even hate just annoying#i dont know what about my 'mind her business. dont gaf. calm collected.' mother makes her like loud annoyin niggas but girl 🙁#the loud music/tv every night he here oh my god turn this shit off#and the walls are THINNNN so its only Kind Of muffled#he also the reason we moved out here....lowkey shoulda just told her i didnt fw in highschool and seen where that woulda got us 😮💨#its not like im not used to it my grandpa also listened to shit extra loud but at least HE HAD A REASON AND THE WALLS WERE THICKER#and i dont like hearin him yell at my sister and i dont like hearing him yell over the phone shut UP FUCK#kae.txt#Ughhhhhhhh whatever
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"Watch a show" they said, "it'll be fun" they said
Everyone seems to not realize how seriously I end up taking stories I like. Well guess who got me to finally watch his gundams with him.
#chekhov irl#the scene I didnt draw is me stepping out of the shower#and finding my partner in the doorway#going 'you wanna watch the gundams with me so we can go to an event in tokyo together'#and that one worked i guess#now i can yell with him over suletta and miorine
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A little treat arrived today!!!!! Tysm @meltedmush for the adorable bingqiu charms and the sketch note ;0; I will be displaying all three ✨✨
#the envelope got tucked into a magazine in my mailbox somehow so i was double surprised when i found it lol#if you noticed i didnt peel off the protective plastic yet no you didnt#jay yells
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I put this on him and the second it loaded my jaw dropped
#is this allowed?? is this allowed????? hello??????#im normal <- a lie#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#hyur#midlander#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv gpose#gpose#ffxiv glamour#ffxiv oc#wol#warrior of light#gposers#ieeha de verral#ieeha#my screenshot#nabaath-areng#GOD IM SO. IM YELLING AND STRANGLING HIM AFFECTIONATELY#none of these match really cause didnt mean to make a set i wasnt even gonna take more#but then. oh my god. oh fuck.#im sorry. vibrates in my seat
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"A little chirpin' going on here from Tkachuk. He's still yelling at the bench, 'Hey, that's what you get! That's what you get!' And it was Hagel who got wacked along the wall, and it was Hagel that he was yelling at for the most part. [...] Yep! There's Tkachuk, he is loving it. This is his kind-of game." "Hagel obviously leaking over there on the Lightning bench. He laid a big hit on Barkov in the opening minutes of this one."
"Welp, they got the upper hand right now and Tkachuk being who he is, he's taking advantage of that. But that sets the table for tommorow night, and he dun care about that. He will be more than happy to have it go that way. See, he's still—" Matthew: That's what you get! All of that! [?] "He's talking about how sorry you're gonna be. He's talking to Guentzel and a couple other guys. Just setting the table for tommorow." "Oh, man! He is not letting up down there is he?" "Nope!"
"That's what you fucking get. That! (referring to the Kuli on Hagel hit that caused Hagel to go to the bench) That's what you fucking get."
florida panthers @ tampa bay lightning | 12.22.24
#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#naturally maffhew who saw that hagel hit on sasha in the opening minutes and just stared him down as he got on the bench#also had the chirp him at the end as if he personally laid down the hit himself#this is also kuli being very frustrated with the refs for not giving him a boarding call with girgenssons#(to which he did talk to them about it after it happened)#i love maffhew yelling so loud it gets caught on the mic#hot mic! hot mic!#at the end of the day it always leads back to sasha huh#a shame the bolts telecast didnt have a good view of the hit but sasha does wobble a bit#so yeah karma babe#mr i hate tampa more showing how much he hates tampa#i just love them going this is about hagel [zooms out to kuch and jake at the end of the bench]#mr i love kuch but i will mercilessly chirp him too#and also jake#hey babe its a shame youre in blue now because i have to cheer extensively when maffhew engages#yap off who will win sibneys daughter or guy who has found in a cardboard box wet and all alone#thank you bolts telecast for this one i had to suffer your awful commentary but you did give me this so really#it doesnt balance out at all but you knkw
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not a desert technically but I just visited the dunes in Monterey and gleefully trampled on some ice plant and I feel like you might enjoy that. if you wanna talk about the kinds of vegetation that grow in sandy soil or something I invite you to 👀
(also you're doing it! you're surviving! you'll get through that doctorate!)
ok ready this is my most important soapbox of all because soils in the desert are very special and have such cool organisms you don't find in these arrangements outside of drylands...
first lookee here. wauw beautiful utah
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ok now look closer
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no closer closer closer
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CLOSER CLOSER CLOSER
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WOW is that MOSS? you are thinking. the answer is YES. but doesn't moss like lots of water you are thinking??? WELL USUALLY. BUT in the desert you will notice that things like grasses and shrubs have lots of space between them unlike in more temperate climates-vegetation cover is not truly continuous. And there's less leaf litter than in forests obscuring the dirt. Which means all that soil is just sitting out in the open with nothing to protect it from being blown away by those harsh desert winds... except of course for our friends the BIOLOGICAL SOIL CRUSTS. also known as crypotbiotic soils, cryptogrammic soils, and biocrusts (for short).
These are communities of mosses, lichens, cyanobacteria (aka blue green algae--yes, those are usually Wet too, but ironically so so common in deserts), and the tens of thousands of surface and subsurface microbes that are associated with them. It's easy to forget just how many organisms are living in one single scoop of soil, especially because science can barely identify 1% of these microbes. Like of JUST the ones we have enough info to classify enough to count in my own master's dataset left me with over 25,000 unique taxonomic units I had to manage. don't worry about what that means just know it was very annoying and makes statistics a headache. anyway you find them all over the southwest US states as well as in other deserts around the world (spain, australia, sooo many in china, incredible ones in the succulent karoo in south africa/namibia, plenty in argentina etc etc), if you know where to look...
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anyway OUR HEROS THE BIOCRUST aren't just there to look pretty (though you will can see from photos they also do this :) ), but are a vital component to the dryland ecosystem! They literally hold the soil surface together to prevent erosion, they influence hydrology in terms of rainfall runoff + infiltration, they impact how seeds germinate, they contribute to nutrient cycling and what plant-available compounds are held at the soil surface... like i feel like Tumblr in general has been made aware of how fungi & root networks interact in large scale systems like forests, but that is also happening on a more microscopic level in deserts! just in the top couple centimeters soooo much is happening. Cyanobacteria in particular are tiny organisms that produce little nets of sugars woven in the soil to climb around on and protect themselves, and if you crumble a little bit of soil from the surface you can see how the little spiderweb strings literally hold together the sand particles.
Now that you're Aware of biocrusts, when you look at larger scale landscape photos taken in un-trampled areas of desert, you will notice them as darker patches and textures on the lighter soil:
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Yep there's these tiny little communities all over, that many people never learn to see. And now what I said before about mosses & cyanobacteria usually preferring wet environments--they have in fact adapted to life in the desert in ways that means they're dormant for most of the year. They live in stasis until the rainy season hits (or in some cases, winter moisture from a snow layer--many will photosynthesize through a few inches of snow since it's clear/white), and then burst into color and life. Many patches of biocrust will look utterly lifeless and dried out at first and then become vibrant and swell up within a few minutes of being exposed to moisture. Lichens, while more vibrant even when dry, will also mostly only grow/reproduce while wet. And biocrusts come in all sorts of colors, shapes, and preferred microhabitats!
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anyway this post is long enough already so i'll be quick. while beautiful and important as you can imagine these are FRAGILE. if they get trampled too much, by humans or cows or cars, that's it. you're back to bare soil that can blow away whenever it wants.
I was lucky to get to participate in a 2x/year survey of one of the very few places in Utah to NEVER have cattle grazing or development, a remote area the entrance is kept secret to inside Canyonlands National Park, where you can see just how dense and lush biocrusts once could be in the US southwest:
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ah... glorious. what special little guys. this is why if you visit many of the national parks in Utah you will see signs & stickers around with slogans like "Don't Bust The Crust" and "Tiptoe Through The Crypto" and etc. so heed that advice but DO stop and kneel down and get a better look at them!
#LONG POST#if you dont like long posts you can turn on the collapse posts feature in settings fun fact dont yell at me for your own dash choices#deserts#desert southwest#biocrusts#biological soil crusts#now if i could get myself onto a videogame design team you'd bet id put THESE in those desert regions#its fantasy land give me beautiful fantasy biocrusts... so sad to see them all extinct in thedas how many druffalo did they graze... anyway#replies#ramblings#dreadfutures#i spent a beautiful weekend in monteray once. for a conference but i skipped a day to go to the aquarium and sea kayaking which was great#didnt get to go to the dunes but DID get to jump in the very cold ocean a bunch which is always a treat for a desert rat#all photos mine btw thats why theres no credits
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Livio Razlo epicness
#i cant believe i didnt finish this in one sitting#i hope the colors are so vibrant they yell at you#drag00niart#art#trigun#livio the double fang#livio#razlo the tri punisher of death#razlo the trip of death#razlo#trimax#trimax spoilers#trigun spoilers#trigun maximum
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