#why autistic people do that

[badolmen]

They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

[nocternal]

a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.

shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.

I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Why does everything I see about autism for parents or children? There’s this facebook page I like called Mrs Speechie P (who you’ve probably seen before), and she has great information. But it’s all for kids. I messaged her about this and she explained that she worked with children. But helping people who are adults that have been diagnosed (or self diagnosed) is just as important as helping kids. We need support too.

Say it with me everyone:

AUTISM. 👏AFFECTS. 👏ADULTS. 👏TOO.

[bananonbinary]

a thing i've noticed with autistic people, that i don't see talked about too often, is the idea that there MUST be a Correct way to act. that if only you could find the most perfect sequence of words, someone would understand your point of view completely and you'd unlock the good ending where everyone agreed with you forever.

i'm not sure if this is from the rsd, or just a trauma response to being constantly told that we are NOT acting correctly and everyone else IS, or some facet of the black-and-white thinking thing, but it's a constant struggle to remind myself that no, some people just aren't you and will never ever be you, and will probably do things you find unconscionable, and that sucks.

[athena5898]

I often think when people hear "infantilizing a group of people", they think of it literarily that we are actively being made a infant. While this is a part of it, I think people miss the subtle things that end up causing chasms in their relationships with that group of people.

It's actually hard to pinpoint because it's never a singular event, it's many tiny things but the end result is always "I am the authority, I will always know more then you, I will never take your advice, I will never be honest with you (you know to spare *your* feelings), any disagreement is your fault, any problem in your life is my cross to bear and you must follow how I tell you to fix it, I will never stoop myself to understanding what your needs are as X group and will view everything from my own lens and judge you accordingly, we are not equals, and we never will be. (This is not a exhausted list, nor will everyone have all the same traits)

It is very hard to connect with someone who just automatically assumes a higher status to you just because of something you can't change. All the while the offender thinks what they are doing is actually a good thing. They are somehow helping you by just assuming they are better then you (which in the end, that's kinda what this is).

I have a few people in my life that I care for a lot, but they are not that much older then me yet they act like I can't possibly understand them and automatically shove this "child" label on my forhead.

And here is the thing, they will voluntarily bring up why they think this if you pay attention. It might be trauma they've dealt with, it might be that they have kids and you don't, age, or anything else like this. However I think it's important to note that I have friends who do not talk down to me and respect me as my own person with autonomy and also have these things going on in their life. So it's not like it's impossible to treat someone with respect and have these differences.

Now what do some of these subtle differences look like? There are many ways they can materialize but to name a few.

- Demanding the person solves a problem their way despite the person telling them why their circumstances do not allow that.

- assuming...well anything and all the time. These people have a tendency to think they know exactly what you are feeling and other such things and if you try to correct them then they will actually get upset at you or show some type of passive aggressiveness.

-Speaking on your behalf without asking permission

-never valuing your expertise on any subject. They are older/more mature then you, therefore to them they know more about everything. What's really fun (/s) about this is when they will explain to you, why you are wrong, by repeating what you said back at you.

- any reason why you can't do a thing, or why you need an aide is an excuse. You could do it if you *really* wanted to, but you are just being lazy. Now the real adult has to take up your burden.

- they do not/cannot listen to you. No matter what you say or how you say it, or if they even confirm what you say, there is always a part of them that is not listening. Or hell, they could of listened to you, but since what you say isn't important to them, they will quickly forget it and may even try and claim you never said anything to them.

- I'm not sure if this counts as infantilizing, but I notice that it happens a lot in tandem. While they think less of you and treat you like a child whose facts and opinions don't matter, all of this will change at a moment's notice when they need something from you...oddly enough something they probably normally do not take seriously from you on a normal day. Suddenly thrusting you with this burden of taking care of them even though they are never there for you in any meaningful actually helpful way most of the time. Like you will literally be demanded to stop what you are doing, and get over whatever you are going through to help them and their problem. I cannot explain how frustrating it is to be demanded to be the mature one while most of the time being denied respect.

I could go on, but honestly if I sat here and thought of every single tiny thing they do to make sure there is distance between you and them up on their self made pedestals, I'd be here all day.

The worst part on all of this is that I have no idea how to resolve it. People who do this are not inherently bad people, hell they might not even realize they do it. But this can actually make it more difficult to bring to their attention. I have tried many ways and many different times to resolve this, but I haven't been successful yet. Anyone who has corrected themselves were people who just had a little mess up but still obviously viewed me as a person from the start.

These subtle ways someone can dehumanize you, it can cause terrible rifts and of course the other person never understands why (see point above about not listening)

I am writing this as a autistic person, but I know there are others who go through this. Please check the ways you create artificial authority over someone.

Edit: someone reblogged this with hashtags about how we shouldn't do this to children either and I completely agree, I was using the term because it's the one often used to explain these things. Adding the edit cause I have no idea how to respond to the hashtag thing and I think it's a important thing to note.

[gunstreet]

sorry I'm not a photoshop master but would someone mind hanging this up in the SNW writers' room because I think we have all had enough

[vaguely-concerned]

seeing people claim that lucanis is 'bad representation' is hilarious to me because in so many ways he's really the closest anything has ever gotten to capturing my own personal experience. sorry for being bad real life queer and mental health/neurodiversity representation folks 😔 I'll take time to reflect and do some work on myself and try to do better in the future

[frankiebirds]

what an incredibly normal and not at all autistic thing to say! (lying)

[teaboot]

Theoretically I enjoy living with people but unfortunately when you tell people you're a neuroatypical raccoon with twelve ongoing hobbies, completely random work hours, and a series of admittedly unusual lifelong compulsions they tend to hear that and go "oh haha you're trying to be Quirky okay" and then save their ten million questions and concerns for when you can't run away

[orengejoshi]

Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!

yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)

it's so common in fandoms!

I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.

I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔

I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.

anyway here's a doodle!

[princeofcyberpunk]

hi motorcity fandom is this anything

i was not expecting the cartoon about teens with cars to genuinely change how i view the world

[the-crooked-library]

y’know like. I know that my brain fundamentally works a little different from most people but sometimes it just hits me out of the blue over the most innocuous things - e.g.: I’ve seen so many people get confused over Armand’s “picking lint off the sofa” line and I just don’t understand why. They’re googling when lint rollers were invented and acting as if he’s saying the most outlandish thing and “people don’t do that” - and like…

First of all, lint brushes precede lint rollers and he would be aware of them - and second, he is not picking lint off the sofa to tidy up?.. It’s a fidget. He’s sitting on the sofa bored out of his skull and trying to do something with his hands. He’s a fidgety person. We see him rubbing circles into his shoulder or leg (or Louis’ leg) during the interview, he taps his fingers, it’s just something he does; and Jesus Christ, did NONE of the people acting up their confusion ever peel cracking paint, or pull grass when sitting in outdoor gym, or dog ear a book - or, indeed, pick lint off a fucking sofa?..

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

As an autistic person I feel like society often tells me ‘Be Yourself, But Not Like that’

Neurodivergent_lou

[c-kiddo]

a big ol bone i have to pick with the jester origins comic, is despite the respectful, positive depiction of marion as a sex worker, there's also just kink shaming as part of a punchline and point of shame. like lord sharpe's flaw is that he's a slimy misogynist who feels entitled to marion and also yasha without caring much for their feelings. but then the comic has it so part of the joke when jester tricks him and traps him on the balcony is that he's wearing womens underwear? ?? like thats too close to straight up queerphobic bigotry to me, that is a 2005 ass joke. its so weird there are so many other things to make fun of about this man like in the show but the comic writer added that ? man cmon

[teplejtrouba]

a detective who has a partner🔍 and a partner💕 who are friends so the three of them end up doing a lof things together and the detective refers to them as "my partners" and doesn't realise this makes everyone think they're polyamorous (they do end up polyamorous by the end of the story)

[td-brick]

The way the td fandom talks about autism/characters who show autistic traits* is literally ridiculous. some of you are so ableist even if you're autistic yourself. especially towards women who have autism (which is also misogyny, but that's not shocking coming from td fans). it's wild!!! because like. take Courtney for example. to me she can very clearly be seen as autistic (a few traits that come to mind for me are her constant list making, need for things to be exactly how she views them, "strong sense of justice" (as some say)/very set in her ways, super rule oriented, sometimes socially inappropriate/struggles with certain aspects of being social) but at least in my perspective of the fandom she's not widely viewed as such and instead demonized for a lot of her autistic traits. and this isn't to say that autism excuses all her actions but like. a lot of people's hatred for her autistic traits is clearly rooted in ableism/misogyny, especially when you look at a character who's autistic traits are similar to hers, Noah, and how he's treated by the fandom. he's widely accepted as autistic, his traits are made out to be quirky personality tidbits (which is ableist in its own right but. yeah), and he's generally not demonized for the same things Courtney is. I wonder why (<- its because Courtney is a woman and people can't fathom that autistic women exist)

Sorry if this isn't eloquent i'm basically just thought dumping here but. ugh it's just so weird to see idk