#why autistic people do that

[badolmen]

They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

[ancient-reverie]

a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.

shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.

I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Why does everything I see about autism for parents or children? There’s this facebook page I like called Mrs Speechie P (who you’ve probably seen before), and she has great information. But it’s all for kids. I messaged her about this and she explained that she worked with children. But helping people who are adults that have been diagnosed (or self diagnosed) is just as important as helping kids. We need support too.

Say it with me everyone:

AUTISM. 👏AFFECTS. 👏ADULTS. 👏TOO.

[athena5898]

I often think when people hear "infantilizing a group of people", they think of it literarily that we are actively being made a infant. While this is a part of it, I think people miss the subtle things that end up causing chasms in their relationships with that group of people.

It's actually hard to pinpoint because it's never a singular event, it's many tiny things but the end result is always "I am the authority, I will always know more then you, I will never take your advice, I will never be honest with you (you know to spare *your* feelings), any disagreement is your fault, any problem in your life is my cross to bear and you must follow how I tell you to fix it, I will never stoop myself to understanding what your needs are as X group and will view everything from my own lens and judge you accordingly, we are not equals, and we never will be. (This is not a exhausted list, nor will everyone have all the same traits)

It is very hard to connect with someone who just automatically assumes a higher status to you just because of something you can't change. All the while the offender thinks what they are doing is actually a good thing. They are somehow helping you by just assuming they are better then you (which in the end, that's kinda what this is).

I have a few people in my life that I care for a lot, but they are not that much older then me yet they act like I can't possibly understand them and automatically shove this "child" label on my forhead.

And here is the thing, they will voluntarily bring up why they think this if you pay attention. It might be trauma they've dealt with, it might be that they have kids and you don't, age, or anything else like this. However I think it's important to note that I have friends who do not talk down to me and respect me as my own person with autonomy and also have these things going on in their life. So it's not like it's impossible to treat someone with respect and have these differences.

Now what do some of these subtle differences look like? There are many ways they can materialize but to name a few.

- Demanding the person solves a problem their way despite the person telling them why their circumstances do not allow that.

- assuming...well anything and all the time. These people have a tendency to think they know exactly what you are feeling and other such things and if you try to correct them then they will actually get upset at you or show some type of passive aggressiveness.

-Speaking on your behalf without asking permission

-never valuing your expertise on any subject. They are older/more mature then you, therefore to them they know more about everything. What's really fun (/s) about this is when they will explain to you, why you are wrong, by repeating what you said back at you.

- any reason why you can't do a thing, or why you need an aide is an excuse. You could do it if you *really* wanted to, but you are just being lazy. Now the real adult has to take up your burden.

- they do not/cannot listen to you. No matter what you say or how you say it, or if they even confirm what you say, there is always a part of them that is not listening. Or hell, they could of listened to you, but since what you say isn't important to them, they will quickly forget it and may even try and claim you never said anything to them.

- I'm not sure if this counts as infantilizing, but I notice that it happens a lot in tandem. While they think less of you and treat you like a child whose facts and opinions don't matter, all of this will change at a moment's notice when they need something from you...oddly enough something they probably normally do not take seriously from you on a normal day. Suddenly thrusting you with this burden of taking care of them even though they are never there for you in any meaningful actually helpful way most of the time. Like you will literally be demanded to stop what you are doing, and get over whatever you are going through to help them and their problem. I cannot explain how frustrating it is to be demanded to be the mature one while most of the time being denied respect.

I could go on, but honestly if I sat here and thought of every single tiny thing they do to make sure there is distance between you and them up on their self made pedestals, I'd be here all day.

The worst part on all of this is that I have no idea how to resolve it. People who do this are not inherently bad people, hell they might not even realize they do it. But this can actually make it more difficult to bring to their attention. I have tried many ways and many different times to resolve this, but I haven't been successful yet. Anyone who has corrected themselves were people who just had a little mess up but still obviously viewed me as a person from the start.

These subtle ways someone can dehumanize you, it can cause terrible rifts and of course the other person never understands why (see point above about not listening)

I am writing this as a autistic person, but I know there are others who go through this. Please check the ways you create artificial authority over someone.

Edit: someone reblogged this with hashtags about how we shouldn't do this to children either and I completely agree, I was using the term because it's the one often used to explain these things. Adding the edit cause I have no idea how to respond to the hashtag thing and I think it's a important thing to note.

[gunstreet]

sorry I'm not a photoshop master but would someone mind hanging this up in the SNW writers' room because I think we have all had enough

[teaboot]

Theoretically I enjoy living with people but unfortunately when you tell people you're a neuroatypical raccoon with twelve ongoing hobbies, completely random work hours, and a series of admittedly unusual lifelong compulsions they tend to hear that and go "oh haha you're trying to be Quirky okay" and then save their ten million questions and concerns for when you can't run away

[frankiebirds]

what an incredibly normal and not at all autistic thing to say! (lying)

[princeofcyberpunk]

hi motorcity fandom is this anything

i was not expecting the cartoon about teens with cars to genuinely change how i view the world

[the-crooked-library]

y’know like. I know that my brain fundamentally works a little different from most people but sometimes it just hits me out of the blue over the most innocuous things - e.g.: I’ve seen so many people get confused over Armand’s “picking lint off the sofa” line and I just don’t understand why. They’re googling when lint rollers were invented and acting as if he’s saying the most outlandish thing and “people don’t do that” - and like…

First of all, lint brushes precede lint rollers and he would be aware of them - and second, he is not picking lint off the sofa to tidy up?.. It’s a fidget. He’s sitting on the sofa bored out of his skull and trying to do something with his hands. He’s a fidgety person. We see him rubbing circles into his shoulder or leg (or Louis’ leg) during the interview, he taps his fingers, it’s just something he does; and Jesus Christ, did NONE of the people acting up their confusion ever peel cracking paint, or pull grass when sitting in outdoor gym, or dog ear a book - or, indeed, pick lint off a fucking sofa?..

[imaybe5tupid]

if you see absolutely anything that has kabru in it. And are unable to stop yourself from making it about L/abru (even when Laios doesn’t even appear or is irrelevant to the content in question!) and reduce kabrus entire deuteragonist-level character into wanting to fuck laios. I’m stealing something out of your house!!!!!

disclaimer: If you ship l/abru and gaf about kabru and don’t do this then this post isn’t about you 🤓

[c-kiddo]

a big ol bone i have to pick with the jester origins comic, is despite the respectful, positive depiction of marion as a sex worker, there's also just kink shaming as part of a punchline and point of shame. like lord sharpe's flaw is that he's a slimy misogynist who feels entitled to marion and also yasha without caring much for their feelings. but then the comic has it so part of the joke when jester tricks him and traps him on the balcony is that he's wearing womens underwear? ?? like thats too close to straight up queerphobic bigotry to me, that is a 2005 ass joke. its so weird there are so many other things to make fun of about this man like in the show but the comic writer added that ? man cmon

[teplejtrouba]

a detective who has a partner🔍 and a partner💕 who are friends so the three of them end up doing a lof things together and the detective refers to them as "my partners" and doesn't realise this makes everyone think they're polyamorous (they do end up polyamorous by the end of the story)

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

As an autistic person I feel like society often tells me ‘Be Yourself, But Not Like that’

Neurodivergent_lou

[td-brick]

The way the td fandom talks about autism/characters who show autistic traits* is literally ridiculous. some of you are so ableist even if you're autistic yourself. especially towards women who have autism (which is also misogyny, but that's not shocking coming from td fans). it's wild!!! because like. take Courtney for example. to me she can very clearly be seen as autistic (a few traits that come to mind for me are her constant list making, need for things to be exactly how she views them, "strong sense of justice" (as some say)/very set in her ways, super rule oriented, sometimes socially inappropriate/struggles with certain aspects of being social) but at least in my perspective of the fandom she's not widely viewed as such and instead demonized for a lot of her autistic traits. and this isn't to say that autism excuses all her actions but like. a lot of people's hatred for her autistic traits is clearly rooted in ableism/misogyny, especially when you look at a character who's autistic traits are similar to hers, Noah, and how he's treated by the fandom. he's widely accepted as autistic, his traits are made out to be quirky personality tidbits (which is ableist in its own right but. yeah), and he's generally not demonized for the same things Courtney is. I wonder why (<- its because Courtney is a woman and people can't fathom that autistic women exist)

Sorry if this isn't eloquent i'm basically just thought dumping here but. ugh it's just so weird to see idk

[hotluncheddie]

I'm on that autistic Steve shit!!!! (sorry no hc of Eddie.... can only focus on Steve ❤️)..... my favorite favorite favorite autistic Steve hc is that he is so so charming so charismatic so cool but it's entirely an act..... like he learned it from books and movies and watching other people and like his emotional / social intelligence is thru the roof bc of that.... I think I saw it described in a fic once as "he knows exactly what people want to hear"..... and I think he does revel in being a chameleon and doing that but of course it's draining!!! my fav is him letting the mask down in front of Very Important people..... I'm writing a fic rn where when Steve tries to mask around hopper he's like "boy stop that you know you don't have to do that here"..... I get such such terminal Nothing Face after a long day and I like to think Steve does too and he's worried Eddie will find it off-putting the first time he shuts down and still wants to hang out with him..... but Eddie is so so endeared by it and is very gentle with him "you ran out of faces, huh baby? that's alright" .....

2jug2head “you ran out of faces, huh baby? That’s alright.” That honestly melted my heart. I had to curl up in a little ball to deal with that.

It’s !!!!! So !!!!!! Sweet !!!!!!!!!

and omg having Hopper be like that with Steve, letting him know in that blunt, simple Hopper way I'm !!!!!! thats so good !!!! I will love love love to read that fic when u finish it !!!! pls tag me if u post it !!!!

but yeah I really really hc Steve as being super high masking, very capable socially, very able to read people. he's used so much of his life to think about others and be what's best in any possible situation. he always wants to be perfect in his interactions with people, wants to 'win' at it. wants to be the best version of himself for every person that he meets. and he mostly does. he's good at it, he's smart and a lot of people follow the same sort of conversions, expect similar things. he’s been around enough people and been in enough situations to have scripts and reactions to most scenarios. he can recognise patterns well and so he does that, but with people, over and over and over. so much so that he doesn't even think about it now, doesn't really even realise what he doing.

he’s very capable, very good and smart socially, but it's to his detriment. it means no one really knows him. it means he doesn't really know himself.

it's like he's a little perfect puppet and when he's alone it feels like this freak monster comes out; with all these feelings and thoughts and emotions that he doesn't know what to do with, doesn't know if they're normal. and he doesn't know how to tell anyone about it either, how to express it or talk about in the right way.

because he's so so scared of being made fun of, or being alone; of being told off, or being weird. and sometimes it makes him so sad, because he doesn't always know how to stop - he's so quick to respond wth his scripts that he forgets to think about what he really thinks, really feels. and he can't stop.

to unmask, at times, most times, feels herculean - to show someone who you really are? that feels impossible. terrifying. to ask for time to think? to risk saying something wrong? being honest feels deeply unnatural somehow - to be honest about how he feels, what he thinks, what he needs. he just, he's never done that before...

so when he's navigating these people, these relationships he so so cares about. with Robin and Eddie and Dustin and Hopper, even.

this is the slew of feelings he has to wade through when trying to be close to them, to keep them, to do what they ask of him. this is what he has to work through. and sometimes, sometimes they act as if it's so easy. as if it is so easy to say the honest truth when asked 'what's up?' or 'what do you think?' or 'what do you want?'

that's not easy, its never been easy. and it makes him feel like a freak once he realises it should be.

-

yeah idk that got kind of sad, sorry. but like. this is where I imagine him, when you get to the good, lovely, cozy, wonderful parts. I just, I think this is the thing, my lovely wonderful high high high masking Steve - this is what he's going through to get to the good. and its hard.

[saturnsocoolioyep]

This is what I wrote in the feedback section for the new discord update:

I absolutely hate that the messages like group chats and DMs are in a different tab than servers now. there was absolutely nothing broken about the way that it was laid out and displayed before, so there's no reason to "fix" it!! I also am sorely missing the ability to swipe left to look at all members of a server, the having to click on the top feels clunky and visually unpleasant. I hate being taken to an entirely different screen just to see who's online! it's an entirely unnecessary extra step that helps no one. the idea of "prioritizing messaging" by putting private messages and group chats in a tab seperate from servers is completely asinine when discord as a whole is a messaging service in and of itself! also, it's a small aesthetic change but rounding the corners of the servers when swiping to look at the servers at the side is unnecessary and unwelcome and overall incredibly displeasing to look at. speaking of swiping, making it so swiping left creates a reply to a message is the most unnecessary, confusing, and almost MALICIOUS feeling change yet, especially when swiping left had an entirely different function before. please listen to your user base and stop making so many changes that absolutely NO ONE is actually asking for and actively make the user experience worse. you have a good app, it is not broken, stop trying to fix things that don't need to be changed because you've continually only made things worse.