#which is causing everything to feel worse than it is
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Why does the fandom find the jokes about Bakugou attacking Izuku or even trying to kill him so funny? Like, where's the fun in that? But when Izuku rejected Bakugou's offer, everyone thinks he's the worst person in the world… I've already accepted that the fandom doesn't care about Izuku, they only remember him because of the ships, other than that, they don't care about him.
Because they want to undermine his abuse. They don't want to acknowledge that he is a piece of shit who continues to abuse his victim in public and gets away with it. They don't want to admit that he's another Endeavour.
They don't care about Izuku. Not even the B*kuD*ku shippers care about Izuku. All they care about is Bakugou and that he gets what they believe is best for him.
They acted like Izuku committed a grand sin, an irredeemable act towards Bakugou for rejecting his offer... while ignoring how Bakugou did worse to him for fourteen years. Probably more, let's be honest. He probably continued to treat him like shit during the rest of their U.A. days.
Bakugou fans were more concerned for Bakugou after Izuku lost his quirk, because they don't care about Izuku. I saw someone comment that the reason they feel more bad about Bakugou is that 'he'd go through more without saying a word'.
Izuku went through more. Izuku was bullied since the age of four. He was beaten up before he was five. He was hurt by everyone around him, emotionally and physically, when he was still in pre-school. He learned before he was in U.A. that the world is not fair.
But Bakugou stans choose to ignore this, because if they did acknowledge it, they'd have to deal with the fact that Bakugou was the cause of most of Izuku's pain.
They tell people who hate Bakugou that they're 'stuck in chapter/episode one' without realising that it's everything afterwards that makes him so hateable. It's the fact that he didn't deal with any direct consequences, and that he continues to hurt Izuku even after they've 'made up'.
He threw an iced-over snowball at Izuku's head. He threw a spiky, sharp item at his head which imbedded into Izuku's head. He dragged Izuku out via blackmailing him with OfA only to beat him up instead of just talking things out. He got everyone in 1-A to beat up Izuku instead of just reaching out to him to apologise for something NOBODY knew about and make everything about him.
And more. There are many moments which proved that Bakugou never changed, but people either laugh it off or construe it as '10/10' writing. There are people who ranked Izuku vs Bakugou 2 as the best in the series, because they can't fathom the idea that it was just Bakugou beating Izuku up, then Izuku somehow sharing the blame despite being the victim AGAIN.
They laugh it off and treat it like a joke, because they don't want to deal with what it means if it isn't a joke. They don't want to acknowledge how harmful their favourite is.
In other words, they take the older generation's go-to phrase, "You're too sensitive."
#ask#bnha critical#mha critical#bakugou critical#anti bakugou katsuki#anti bakugou#i hate bakugou so much you don't understand unless you do
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okay now we’ve read the sunny x race fic… let’s talk about sunny x pope hmm…
⋆˚࿔ sweetener ꥟ ˚⋆ — pope heyward x sunny!reader
“ you come through like the sweetener you are, bring the bitter taste to a halt, then you… “
cw ; smut (implied but not detailed whatsoever), instinuations of public sex on the beach. not proofread!
pope thinks of himself as such a hypocrite. a couple years ago, he was lecturing john b about bringing in a kook to the sacrid group of pogues — and now here he was, dating you on the low.
he could never tell his friends about you. but oh how he wish he could. you’re stunning, with hair that blows so gracefully in the breeze, a smile on your lips (which are usually chapped from the sun) whenever you’re around pope. he wants to talk to his friends about you for hours, you’re so sweet. but, you’re a kook.
so pope hates to say it, but he kind of uses you to get away from his stressful life. you’re blissfully ignorant to the shit he gets up to with the pogues, happy to spend your nights and days on the beach with him, tracing his abs, sucking on his bottom lip and giggling with him, smiling a bit brighter whenever he calls you “baby.” maybe ‘uses’ is the wrong word when it comes to why on earth pope spends with you, a kook, but moreso a distraction from his life.
pope had texted you half an hour ago to meet him by the beach beside the marina. no doubt he’d had a rough day and just needed to carress you for hours. you were looking forward to it greatly. but by the time you arrived, moonlight caressing your face, you frown because he’s no where to be seen. you’d never liked nightime as it is, preferring the sun, where you can see what’s rustling in the trees and what shadows are in front of you, and you like it even less when your favourite company isn’t with you.
you lay down a blanket on the sand and sit there for a bit. it’s 9:30 now, you got here at 9. with a huff, you text pope, saying, “hey pope im so sorry but i might have to go home soon because its late and chilly. where are you?”
you don’t get a chance to respond when you feel hands on your shoulders from, behind. with a shriek, assuming it’s a scary monster in the dark, you turn arouynd and cover your mouth to shut yourself up the minute you see its only pope.
“hi— sorry, pope, you scared me,” you say softly, patting the spot beside you on the. blanket. “what took so long?
“hey baby, sorry. here, my dad gave me some fries to give you ‘cause i was late,” he hands you the fries from his dads restuarant. “rough night,”
you’ve never really asked what’s wrong when pope is upset, but you assume what happened is worse than usual because he was late for you. so you ask, “what’s wrong?”
“long story,” he says, leaning back on his elbows. “have some fries,”
“i will after you tell me what’s up. you’re never late, always way too punctual. so, what’s up?”
“uh— i’ll put it simply, alright?” he checks and you nod, happy for anything. “my family has this hierloom, ‘s really valuable and historic, and some kook stole it from me and the pogues, and melted it down to sell,”
“oh. wow, um, im sorry pope, don’t even know what to say, that’s really tough,” you say gently, eyebrows furrowed a bit as you pop a fry into your mouth. “wanna cry?” that makes him smile a bit as he shakes his head.
“no, nah, baby. appreciate the offer though.” he smiles at you.
“then what do you need?”
“think you know,” is all he says.
everything else is a blur. tongues, limbs twisted together, little smiles. everything tonight is slow — gentle. nights like these are your absolute favourite.
“dunno what i’d do without you in my life, baby,” he whispers while he’s on top of you, slowly sliding in and out discreetly through your underwear in case someone is taking a late night walk. “it’d be so sour,”
#౨ৎ isa writes#im so sorry this is soooo bad#but i love sunny x pope sooo i wanted to write smth!#obx#pope heyward#pope hayward x reader#pope heyward prompt#pope heyward fluff#pope heyward smut#obx fluff#obx fanfiction#pope obx#pope outer banks#pope heyward obx#౨ৎ sunny!reader
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Things That Go Bump In The Night
Dark!Sebastian x Dark!Ominis x f!OC
18+ MINORS, DO NOT READ!!!
!Forced Poly Relationship!
(Characters are all 20+ years of age!)
CW: Angst, Non-Con, Sexual Punishment, BDSM, Aggressive Feeding, Oral M&F receiving, Rough DP, Creampie, Blood Kink, Biting, Marking, Overstimulation, Thoughts of death, Somnophilia, Violent Magic, Bodily harm…there were a lot for this chapter! This chapter is very dark! Savage vampires and lots of blood!
If any of the above warnings may be triggering PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE READING! Seriously, this one is really heavy!
Chapter 6
Just keep my eyes closed! Shut out everything and maybe the pain will go away! Vivian thought as she bit down on her wet gag. Nothing was working. She was a bloody, exhausted, and tangled mess. Tied up to be used relentlessly, covered in sweat and her own juices. Her cunt was weeping with every tremble of her worn out and drained body. She could feel how much had accumulated and dripped onto Ominis as he slid his shaft along her folds. Her muffled whimpers were drowned out by his heavy breaths brushing against her ear. Ominis held her bound wrists with one hand pressed between their bodies and the other he used to fondle and squeeze her blood smeared breasts, trail his fingers down her torso, then toy with her clit until she was writhing on top of him. His tongue flicked out to lap at her bleeding wounds, soothing the pulsing ache that tore through her muscles.
Sebastian was still wedged between her legs and seemed to be enjoying the fact that he was torturing her by dragging his nails, which felt more like claws now, up and down the sensitive skin of her thighs. He hummed pleasantly as he kissed every bite he left on her weak and tired limbs. Vivian didn’t even have the strength to close her legs if she wanted to which left her feeling more vulnerable than ever. She was at their mercy and they clearly weren’t done with their idea of punishment.
“How many orgasms has she had so far, Omi?” Sebastian asked as one of his claws brushed against her slit making her yelp and squirm against Ominis.
“By my count…I’d say six. She can handle more than that though. Can’t you, Sweetheart?” Ominis cooed in her ear. She shook her head and sobbed, her tears soaking her silk blindfold.
“We think you have a few more in you, Baby. You can handle it.” Vivian could literally feel Sebastian’s smirk graze her shaking leg. His breath was hot against her damp skin as his hands slid up and down her thighs. She could feel blood leaking from all the bites Sebastian had left on her marred body. It trailed down her legs to join the mess between her and Ominis. They didn’t compare to the gaping holes on her neck though. Ominis made sure to bite the same spots over and over again, making the wounds much worse and more painful than the ones on her thighs. She practically jumped out of her skin when Sebastian lifted her up to palm her arse and pressed a few kisses on her sensitive cunt. Ominis moaned loudly as he rocked his hips, his cock sliding against her throbbing heat, and started to thrust himself on Sebastian’s tongue. Now Ominis’ cock was pressed between her soaked pussy and Sebastian’s hungry mouth.
“You both feel so good…don’t stop, Sebastian.” Ominis’ head fell back against the pillows as his grasp became painful around Vivian’s wrists. Sebastian applied more pressure with his mouth causing increased friction between their writhing bodies as Ominis’ thrusts became more frantic and rough. She would have been bouncing wildly on his lap if it wasn’t for Sebastian holding her in place with his firm grip on her backside. His tongue would slip off of Ominis’ shaft and glide through her folds, dipping into her entrance. The line was obliterated between pleasure and pain and all Vivian wanted was for them to stop and give her a break. She tried to force her mind to go blank and become numb to their actions but each bite, lick, or thrust pulled her subconscious back into reality. Ominis must have noticed her attempt at shutting down so he gripped her chin with his free hand and yanked her head back against his shoulder.
“Tsk tsk, Darling. Stay with us. We are not done with you yet,” he snapped. “We are just getting to the best part.” Ominis smoothed her hair away from her face and removed her tear stained blindfold then he forced her to look down at Sebastian running his tongue all over his cock.
“Do it, Sebastian. No more teasing.” Ominis held her head in place and wouldn’t allow her to move or break eye contact as the brunet’s hands slithered around her waist to grab a hold of her hips. Sebastian chuckled deeply and it sent a shiver down her spine as Ominis moved his pelvis out of the way. Sebastian’s black eyes bore into hers as he reared his head back, his fangs glinting in the warm glow of the room, and sank them into her dripping cunt. Vivian screamed against her gag and mustered all the strength she had left to fight against their hold on her. They were simply too strong and Ominis yanked her back to his chest then bit into her sore neck once more. Another orgasm sent shockwaves through her ravaged body as Sebastian’s tongue breached her core while his fangs were still firmly locked inside her flesh. The room spun around her and became a pale swirling blur as the two of them drank from her deeply.
This is it. They are going to kill me. She thought as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Sebastian withdrew his fangs from her first and reached up to tap Ominis’ shoulder.
“Enough! She’s on the verge of passing out and we aren’t through with our punishment just yet, Ominis. We still need to finish.” Sebastian wiped her blood and slick from his mouth with the back of his hand then moved to position himself between her bruised and battered thighs. Ominis released her neck with a huff and left a bloody kiss on her throbbing temple.
“Give me the blood replenishing potion from the night stand.” Sebastian demanded with an outstretched hand and Ominis quickly obeyed, releasing her wrists to reach for the small glass vial. He handed the potion to their lover and Sebastian took it with a satisfied smirk. He popped the cork on the bottle as Ominis reached up to remove her gag. She felt utterly helpless as Sebastian took her chin in his free hand then poured the contents of the potion into her mouth. Vivian only had a moment to catch her breath before she felt her blood rushing through her veins. Every drop they drained from her exhausted body came flowing back in an instant. Some of it gushed from her wounds from how quickly the potion had kicked in.
Ominis bit into his own wrist and brought the wound over her mouth. “Drink from me, Darling. It will help to heal you.” He held the back of her head and pressed his arm to her lips but Vivian jerked her head to the side and refused to drink his blood, smearing it along her jaw.
“Don’t fight us. Do as he says, Viv.” Sebastian reached forward, yanking her head as he pried her mouth open once more, allowing the thick scarlet liquid to drip down her throat. Ominis applied more pressure which made the blood flow from his wound even more. Sebastian watched with dark eyes as she was forced to feed from Ominis who was slowly wiggling his hips beneath her. Vivian gasped loudly as he pulled his wrist away from her stained lips. The oddest sensation tickled her skin as she felt her wounds close and heal quickly. They had sealed up on themselves making her skin as good as new. Even though she was partially restored, she still felt drained and the agony from their bites.
Her head slumped forward and tears spilled from her eyes that splashed onto her breasts, washing away some of the blood that was caked up on her chest. Sebastian moved a little closer and cupped her face in his hands. He leaned in menacingly and placed a kiss on her lips. When he pulled away he studied her expression and ran his fingers down her throat then allowed them to continue to cascade down her body. He smiled at her but it felt cold and hollow in her opinion.
“I think red is your color, sweetheart. It looks amazing on your skin.” He swiped at one of her nipples with a clawed fingertip to gather a drop of blood and bring it to his lips. Ominis released his hold on her only to begin to palm and squeeze her breasts some more. He held them in his hands as if he was offering her flesh to Sebastian’s bloodstained mouth which the freckled man greedily accepted. His fangs sank into her skin and he hungrily pulled on her aching nipple with his tongue. He was feeding from her with loud grunts and groans as Ominis toyed and teased the nipple that was exposed to the heated air of the room. Vivian whined and turned her head away but Ominis was quick to correct her and forced her head to the left as his fangs sank into her skin once more. He pierced the area between her neck and shoulder and her nails dug into his torso over the sharp pain that shot through her. Again, they stopped drinking from her when she was on the verge of blacking out.
“Your blood is the most delectable thing to ever bless my tongue.” Sebastian panted against her damp and quivering skin as he licked his lips. He used his own fang to pierce his fingertip and Vivian watched as a small bead of blood welled up from the tiny wound.
“Suck on it.” He pressed his finger to her mouth and her lips parted reluctantly. He groaned loudly as her tongue swirled around the digit and his blood filled her mouth with that metallic savory taste. Ominis’ hand trailed down her torso and his fingers dipped inside her pulsing heat.
“You may say you don’t want this but your soaking wet cunt says something else, Love,” The blue eyed demon muttered in her ear. Was she aroused? Or was it all the blood that spilled from her wounds and traversed down her body? She couldn’t think clearly anymore and mentally she tried her best to block everything out.
“I can’t take it anymore! I fucking need you, now!” He growled as he held her hips firmly in his grasp and positioned her above his straining erection. Without any hesitation or concern he slammed her down on his cock making her release Sebastian’s finger with a scream. Sebastian quickly covered her mouth and muffled her heavy sobs. He leaned forward with a grin to kiss away the tears that spilled from her tired eyes.
“Shhh. It’s okay. Ominis was a bit rough, I know. I know. He just loves you so much. He couldn’t wait to have you any longer.” Sebastian tried to calm her down but it was no use as Ominis began to work her up and down his length. Her cries were snuffed out by Sebastian’s rough hand as he used the other to wipe at her tear stained face. He watched in a twisted fascination as Ominis fucked her relentlessly, her body jerking against the blond’s frame.
“Seb! I need you! Please! Please!” Ominis begged over her shoulder. What did he mean? She wondered. Surely there can’t be more? Could there? Ominis shifted the both of them on the bed, angling her slightly as he leaned back even further on the mattress, now her head rested against his shoulder. Sebastian released his grip on her mouth and kneeled between her spread legs. Realization dawned on her and she shook her head wildly as he grasped his cock in his claw tipped hand and pressed the head against her aching cunt.
“Don’t worry. It’s fine, Baby. We’ve got you. It’s alright.” The smile that spread across his face was menacing as he thrust his hips forward to plunge into her, joining Ominis. Her shriek echoed throughout the room but she was quickly silenced by Sebastian’s tongue delving into her mouth. The pain was unbearable. She gasped loudly as they both began to fuck her, stretching her way beyond her limit, surly something tore from the force of both men being buried deep inside her so quickly. Sebastian moaned loudly as his fangs grazed and pierced her bottom lip. Everything about this moment was too much. Too much aggression, feeding, using her body savagely. This was more than just punishment. They were beyond that now. This was animalistic behavior. Vicious predators devouring and enjoying their helpless prey. There was nothing she could do about it and she hated feeling so weak. She didn’t even have the will to summon her magic. The loss of blood left her utterly exhausted.
Sebastian relinquished his kiss and stared deeply into her eyes. The look on his face made her blood run cold and he gripped her chin between his fingers.
“Promise us! Promise us…you won’t…run away again!” He shouted between their frantic thrusts. Ominis’ whimpering grew louder as he sank himself deeper into her. Sebastian followed closely behind, pressing himself in as far as he could go. Their movements were now in sync with each other and she whined pitifully.
“Promise us, Vivian!” Ominis groaned and his hands slid up her torso to squeeze her breasts. Sebastian’s hands made their way to her hips and all she could do was shake her head slowly. Words escaped her, her mind was focused on this ending, she couldn’t seem to form a proper response. Sebastian glared directly into her eyes as they waited for her answer.
“I—I won’t run a—away again. I promise.” She blurted out with a scratchy voice.
“Good girl! You won’t, never again!” Sebastian growled through gritted teeth, his hips slamming into her in rapid succession. “You feel so fucking good inside her, Omi! So damned perfect!” Sebastian groaned and rested his head in the crook of her neck.
“Seb! I’m—I’m close! I’m gonna…!” Ominis sank his fangs into the other side of her neck as he reached his climax with powerful force, his claws painfully digging into her chest. Sebastian moaned loudly and did the same as he pressed himself into her as far as possible. Their seed mixed together inside her aching core as they filled her up. Some even spilling from her and running down her backside as they rode out their orgasms.
They were in ecstasy but all Vivian could feel was…cold. Her eyelids fluttered as she gazed up at the ceiling. The room became so bright, the light searing her dry pupils, she had to close them for just a moment. Just a moment, she told herself. They continued to feed and she felt free. The cold drained from her ravaged body and was replaced by a soothing warmth that flooded over her. Then …she smiled. She was at peace and it felt like she was floating. There was no more pain, no more confusion, nothing. Was this what death felt like? If so, she welcomed it with open arms.
Things were quiet, as if the world around her had gone completely silent. The warmth she felt still wrapped itself around her but feeling slowly bled back into her tired bones. Vivian twitched, a sure sign of life still hanging on by a thread, her fingers trembled as they slid across something soft and silky. A blanket? Was she in bed? It couldn’t be the one they all shared. This bed felt clean and didn’t smell like Ominis or Sebastian’s scent. She had to force her eyelids to open so she could finally take in her surroundings. Furniture and a dark room started to come into view as she rubbed her dry and irritated eyes. She was in a different bedroom, one that she had come across while exploring the castle, all the way in the west wing of the building. It was a room she had mentioned in conversation before. If she was awake to choose her own room then it would have definitely been this one. A tiny part of her was glad to know that they knew her so well and knew which room she wanted. The majority of her mind was wrapped around what they had done to her. Her stomach twisted and lurched as the memories flooded her mind like a tsunami.
She lifted her arm to bring her fingers to her neck and shuddered. The bite wounds were still there as well as ones on her wrists. They had healed her. She remembered Ominis feeding her his blood. So why was she covered in fresh bites? She slowly peeled the blanket from her body and groaned as every muscle ached in protest. Her brows drew together and she did a double take at her naked body. Her jaw dropped in horror as she saw wound after wound scattered across her figure. Bites on her thighs, breasts, hips, rolling over to see they were even on her arse. A strangled sob escaped her lips and she struggled to sit up. Her fingers trembled uncontrollably as she delicately touched the marks. Some of them were healed and others were still sore and tender. It made her wonder how long she had been passed out. What they had done to her after she lost consciousness.
They had used her body mercilessly, fed on her as if she were a mere animal, and discarded her in a room on the other side of the castle. She hunched over and brought her head to her knees and it was as if a dam splintered and shattered in her mind and all she could do was weep uncontrollably. She wasn’t sure if it was minutes or hours that passed before she was able to lift her head again and attempt to move. Her back was incredibly stiff as she shifted to stand and lurched forward from the bed with heavy feet. Her body felt like stone as she trudged towards an adjoining door across the room. Grabbing the handle for support, she sighed in relief when she turned the knob and saw her own private bathroom. In the center of the floor was a large square tub, similar to the prefect's bath in Hogwarts, but much smaller. It was a cozy and warm space and was a good enough distraction to take her mind off of her…predicament.
After filling the tub, she sank into the warm water with a moan of relief. The hot and soothing bubbles seemed to wash away any residual pain she was experiencing. She wasn’t sure what time it was, what day, or how many days may have passed. All she knew was that the castle seemed too quiet, like the calm before the storm. Sure it was only the three of them but you usually always heard something. The silence gave her a chance to think and figure out what she had to do next. She needed to focus on herself. Her eyes grew wide as her mind settled on a decision she knew she had to make, one that will devastatingly change things for all of them.
She pulled herself from the tub and quickly dried off before peeking her head out the bathroom door to check that no one was in her room. She styled her hair swiftly and slipped into a nightgown, not really caring how she appeared. She was only determined to get one thing done right now.
She looked around the room and noticed a large trunk sitting in the corner and smiled to herself. She dragged the case into the middle of the area and began rushing around the room, grabbing and folding all of her clothes and placing them in the trunk. She took whatever she could and shoved it all inside the large space. They must have moved her clothes from the bedroom they used to share. This made it easier for her to pack knowing that she didn’t have to enter that room again.
The door suddenly swung open and Sebastian burst into the room excitedly while holding a large book in one hand.
“I’ve found it! The next part of the ritual…” His voice trailed off and his expression dropped to one of shock and confusion when he noticed that Vivian was packing.
“Wh—what are you doing?” He asked as he tossed the book onto her bed and rushed over to try and pull the gown she held from her hands. Ominis entered the room seconds later, mouth agape, to witness Sebastian and Vivian fighting over the dress she was trying to fold and pack away.
“I’m leaving.” She said sternly as she yanked on the fabric and tore it from Sebastian’s hold. She quickly folded the gown and placed it in the trunk before slamming it shut. Sebastian looked utterly shocked and Ominis shook his head wildly, his face growing red.
“This is about the other night. You promised that you wouldn’t leave!” Ominis growled through gritted teeth as he balled his hands into fists.
“No! I promised that I wouldn’t run away again. I never said that I wouldn’t leave!” Vivian scowled as they both stepped closer to her. This time…she didn’t back away. She refused to be pushed around anymore and could feel her rage bubbling under her skin.
“Clever, twisting our words. Vivian…the other night…things were intense. Emotions were running high and we just…lost it. You running away, the punishment, trying to find more information on the ritual, it was all too much. You may not believe us but…we are truly sorry for that night.” Sebastian said softly as he tried to reach for her but she smacked his hands away.
“Don’t fucking touch me! You’re right, I don’t believe that you’re sorry, apologies won’t fix what you have done to me.” She said angrily as she stared them down. “You’re only saying sorry so I help with this ritual. I’m making this very clear. I’ll help get your magic back but afterwards I am done! I’m leaving. You want to stop me? You’ll have to kill me!” She stood her ground as her jaw clenched in fury.
“No. No no no! Vivian, please forgive us, please! We can’t lose you! We’ve lost so much already! Not you too! Please!” Ominis was beside himself as tears spilled from his eyes and Sebastian looked utterly heartbroken and at a loss for words. She shook her head with a scoff as she stepped closer to the men she didn’t recognize anymore.
“You should have thought of that before you did this to me.” She hissed as she held out her arms to showcase all the bite marks that marred her skin. Ominis flinched as if he was struck and Sebastian averted his eyes in shame.
“Vivian…you can’t leave. We’re begging. What can we do to fix this? Please tell us.” Sebastian fidgeted as his hands trembled.
“You—you can let me go.” She said flatly and blinked searing tears from her eyes.
“No! We refuse to do that! Never!” Ominis pushed past Sebastian and tried to grab Vivian and pull her into his arms. What happened next took them all by surprise.
“I said let me go!” She shrieked and a sudden blast of flames flew from her hands, striking Ominis directly in the torso. His body flew across the room and slammed against the wall, his head smacking the stone with a sickening crunch. He slumped forward, unmoving, as the smoke cleared to reveal a massive gushing wound on his stomach. Sebastian rushed to him and knelt by his side and attempted to help Ominis gain consciousness once more. Vivian stood completely frozen in place with her hands covering her mouth in horror.
She had performed wandless and wordless magic. It instinctively surged forward to match her rage and now Ominis was paying for it. She was mad, furious even, but she never meant to brutally harm anyone. Even after everything they had done to her she still couldn’t bring herself to hate them.
Sebastian scooped up Ominis in his arms and gently laid him on Vivian’s bed. He made quick work of his tattered clothes to fully assess the damage to Ominis’ body. Vivian felt as if she could vomit when her eyes landed on the gaping hole covering most of his stomach. The room seemed to spin around her and she grew woozy as Ominis remained perfectly still.
“Viv, get me the potions I need to help him! You know which ones we would use, get them from the other room!” Sebastian shouted but his voice sounded so far away and her feet refused to move. Her heart felt as if it were in her stomach as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I—I didn’t…” she muttered. “I—I killed him.” She cried. “I killed Ominis!”
I am so sorry my Omi girls!😬 This chapter was a doozy!
Also…Merry Christmas if you celebrate!🎄❤️
Tag list: @littletealight @somethingiswrongwithme @wynterjai @dangerousdreamkitty @myrachondria @connorsoddsock @hotcinnamOnspicy @localravenclaw @fym-miso @froggyinaspen @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @moongurl95 @that-supernatural-world @pity-those-who-live-without-love @sevprince-91 @helendeath @felixthemochicat Thank you all & If you would like to be tagged, just let me know. If I have missed anyone in the tag list, please comment & let me know.
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fandom#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#ominis gaunt#sebastian sallow#vampire ominis gaunt#vampire sebastian sallow#dark ominis gaunt#dark sebastian sallow#vivian beausoleil#hogwarts legacy oc#slytherin boys#slytherin#hp fandom
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New doctor says that my degenerative disc disease is very minimal and it's great news because I don't have a tumor or anything really bad! And he's all happy and looking at me expectantly while I sit in my chair shaking from pain
#wrenfea.exe#i am getting stabbed again at least#yea thats great news so what the fuck is causing my pain#he believes that my fibromyalgia is making me more sensitive to the minimal nerve pain from the ddd#which is causing everything to feel worse than it is#i felt like i was finally getting somewhere with my last doc#but now they wanna send me back to a rheumatologist which ive had bad experiences with
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avoidance is my fucking doom man, i know i should go to class but i fucking cant get myself to
#i have. so many absences it's ridiculous to go right now i know it will be worse if i dont go i have to go#ive been just tossing and turning for like 2 hours with some freakign heart palpitations cause im so fucking scared#i was supposed to go last week and i didnt do it then either and every time i feel worse but i cant make myself go#AAAAAAAAA Im gonna die here i know i just have to force myself but i dont want to i want to stay at home which will fix nothing and#make everything worse in the long run#im aware of thsi but i still cant get myself to go idk what to do in this situation i feel horrible augh#i have so many absences I literally went once at the start of the semester and it's been what. 2 and a half months almost 3#i didnt do much for the class and i didnt go to class idk what to do.. theres literally no other way than to force myself to go#i KNOW I'll instantly feel better if i just stay home. i knowww i knowwww but its not going to help anything#i feel like shit and so ashamed and i just really dont want to go through this#FUUCK#im just#completely in panic mode rn. idk if i wont just try to go tomorrow idk if this is a bad decision im still just putting it off#im just totally by myself and cant even talk to anyone to calm down uauauhcgchdhd#im feeling pretty pathetic rn i should be able to do thisss i should be able to do this by myself#this is like self inflicted psychological horror and it's like every other day for me for many years now ouughh
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you make really good points, I think I used the term karmic wrong sorry. I think of it more as not how I personally think he deserved all that happened to him (which thinking back os exactly what karma means, I messed up sorry), but as his fate being directly tied/parallel to anyas. I handnt noticed the toxicity of jimmy and curlys relationship, from the first playthrough I watched and the first interactions I had w fandom I saw so many ppl just. dismiss the terror Anya went through and focus too much on him as the "ultimate victim" and that just didn't sit well w me. I really dislike seeing ppl go "oh well nothing could've been done" I think it's much more complex than that. also I forgot to mention in the last ask that I really appreciate you bringing the point that this game isn't just about the harm of patriarchy but also very very critical to capitalism, I haven't seen too many ppl touch on this. I hadn't thought too deeply about how it makes "he deserved to become disabled as punishment" come up and I agree that's really messed up. I'll try watching a playthrough again with all of this in mind. but either way thanks! I really appreciate your answer 🫶🏼
I guess this is just part of being in a fandom like this. I've noticed a lot of people don't actually see posts outside of their curated view. So some people only get like anya posting or jimmy or curly and it can make it seem like that is what is saturating the conversation.
I mainly just follow the general tags and look for anything new because I'm like obsessed but I know some are only looking for what they want or believe to be the case and can get weird about other ideas.
Sorry if I came off mean its just a last few of the asks have been like circular conversations like this and its not draining per say but seeing all the nuance and details get overlooked to fit a straightforward and basic narrative really sucks cause there's a lot to explore character and theme wise.
#its like idk i feel like im yapping about the same stuff over and over and over again cause people confuse simple on paper with simple in#execution or like without the human factor like idk sometimes to humanzie Anya people dehumanize the other characters to an extent#which is also part of the systemic problem because by dehumanizing people you take away from the awareness like idk the statements#that curly was the captain and just a guy like have to exist together hes like an okay find decent even good captain just not great#hes not exceptional and i think a lot of people are acting like the game said he is when thats just jimmy like Swansea and Anya see that he#just a guy under everything else hence why they dont feed into the vitriol jimmy tries to serve about him crashing the ship and how they#talk to him pre crash even with anya i feel like people are so focused on trying to see what jimmy doesnt that they are adding intention w#where there isnt not even on like she cant be this scale more so you are treating this like everyone in this game is doing some secret gran#gambit when they are just trying to surviv in really back circumstances like having anya respond to jimmys behaviro through the#fawn effect isnt making her a weak depiction its a real response that can coexist with purposeful action because she is clearly scared of#Jimmy even if she hates and thinks he's incompentent like shes not gonna roll over for him but shes gonna be docile in his presence so he#doesnt create a reason in his head to lash out at her like people simply cannot combine concepts to create the complex responses we see in#the game and idkn why its so hard because not every statement contridicts like Jimmy is a monsterous asshole can exist with how#systematic oppression and social enabling create/allow people like him to do their worse cause at the end of the day he chose to do#everything he did despite other options vs the others trying to figure out the best option for all whether that was the best or not like#he dug his own grave vs the others sorta being lined up in front of theirs and shot like this is more interesting to me than him just being#like idk cartoonishly evil and gross and why cant concepts stakes like fitting aspects together is fun its like the worlds shitties puzzle#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anon#ask#ur fine anon im just insane and get frustrated easily when i think im explaining something bad
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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i'm not doing too well recently but checking your blog in the mornings makes me happy 🫂 i hope things are better for you soon. we can make it through this
oh dear i’m sorry to hear that 🫂💜 i hope things look up for you soon
#maybe by the weekend i’ll feel better…just some anxiety inducing things at work this week and idk#i’m feeling less hurt/upset than i was over the weekend but there’s still some lingering guilt and panic over things#and i even had a nightmare last night#that’s been pretty hard to shake#and then i feel bad publicizing my feelings like this cause i don’t wanna idk come off as attention seeking#everything just kinda sucks but i know that it’s been worse and ive gotten through it#i must be doing okay on the outside at least cause if anything one of my employees made a comment of how kindhearted i am#which felt good to hear with the recent troubles i’ve had with my team lately
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Starting to slowly realise I'm really not doing well mentally and it's. concerning. I feel like I should take a break from tumblr bc it takes some of what little energy I have but it's also my source of joy with friends so idk what to do, like I'd miss y'all more than I'd feel good about being away. But if you notice me talking less/not responding in days it's bc I just cannot. I leave your message notifs up so I don't forget tho <3
#Personal#Feeling dreadful bc so many friends have shared with me things they wrote that I SO GENUINELY AM EXCITED TO READ#I've just had literally no time nor energy for ANYTHING I enjoy in like a month#And I'm also literally not sleeping. I'm either not sleeping or I have recurring nightmares that wake me up. It's god-awful#Therapy isn't helping either cause atp I already know everything they're advising me about it's just not working#Nothing's changed either which ofc makes me feel worse. No meds changed no habits changed nothing crazy happened#I'm just suddenly worse than I've been in years which is Not Good#I feel awful for not being able to read my friends' things if I could let y'all see my mind you'd know I want to read what you write so bad#I just can't right now. I'm sorry#Not to mention work and school have been especially more demanding recently and I literally get home after 8 every single night#Don't even eat dinner til past 10pm#Doing hw until 3am etc etc#It's like high-school all over again but I'm an adult with more responsibilities than ever
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maybe i do need to go to therapy bc its probably not good that ive been living on autopilot and the last 7 years went by so fast but also bc i was deliberatly Wanting the time to go by to put as much space between me and the events of 2017-2020 as possible all while somewhat knowing my young adulthood was slipping me by and now both my teenage years and my early 20s are gone and i still feel like my 19th birthday was yesterday yeesh!!
#i do feel like im out of time completely and its kind of.making me insane bc its not fair lol#life could be worse! but it couldve been a lot better too#like on one hand i think i had a normal reaction to exceptionally traumatic shit happening to me with no support system.#and everything that happened was caused by shit out of my control and i Know that bc i spent my teen years specifically working hard to Be#in control#like i did make the choice to give up sure. but that was when absolutely every effort had been exhausted#and theres only so much a human being can take especially when i was so young#but on the other hand!! even when i found a support system and things are better now than they were#i still feel like im trapped perpetually in this Waiting period#waiting for life to begin Waiting for an OPPORTUNITY to make my life begin already#and no effort on my part yields anything so i have no choice but to WAIT#but im TIRED. of waiting#im sick of seeing videos of people way younger than me making art ive always dreamed id have made by now#theres also this invisable wall i have always had built around me that is Impenetrable and i keep hitting it#and its gotta be me but it really feels like the universe has some unseeable chains on me which aounds so stupid#but im not allowed to get passed it#im way past the point of even being capable of showing the agony it causes me now like its just a dull joke#ANYWAY the fact ive typed all this makes me think ok. yeah maybe it is time to talk to someone LOL#carry on im fine this happens to me all the time. helps to get it written out at least
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I love the scene in naruto shippuden where Kakashi says "I'm really starting to take a liking to you" not because naruto freaks the hell out but because this implies that for the other like 3 and a half years Naruro knew Kakashi and the 16 years Kakshi knew of Naruto Kakshi just did not like Naruto at all.
#Fic where Kakashi is left to take care of Naruto but instead of treating him better than he was I'm og Kakashi just neglects him#He's 14 and he just lost like everything and the loss of the last two things he had left was basically Narutos fault if you think about it#But see Naruto is a little baby and he loves Kakashi so it's just Narutos undying affection and Kakashi doing the bare minimum#He waves colourful things in front of narutos face for a few minutes then just dips for a few weeks#Left a ryo behind but kakashi is an idiot and left all of his money out which is a lot cause he never really buys anything for himself#Or Naruto#So Naruto takes like all of it for food but then gets robbed by assholes on the street bc of course he does#Kakashi then has to kill some people to get his money back. Ugh!#Kakashis not really even angry at things anymore he's just tired and depressed and that makes Naruto feel even worse#At some point when Naruto is ten he pulls like this massive massive prank to get Kakashis attention#And it's the first time kakashi has felt emotions in forever meaning he got super fucking pissed off#But then after realising he emoted he was like “:0” and then he was in a good mood so he hit naruto over the head#Then they ate some ice-cream together#It starts of really really toxic and horrible and ends toxic and co-dependent#But you don't but you don't notice because it's so much of a better situation than we started at#Naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto uzumaki#Kakashi hatake#And yes#Kakashi does in fact get a hug#He just doesn't want it#kakashi sensei#Theyre probably fine by the time Naruto comes back to konoha w/ Jiriya#Moldy-flowers
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#im such a private person irl and for what like what purpose does this serve#all it does is distance me from people and keep me from making deep deep connections i know that very well#its just the act of opening up and being vulnerable especially when people aren’t groveling for me to open up is so unimaginable and#horrible#why do i do this like why i rlly dont want to share anything abt myself i just wanna know everything abt everyone while not sharing#anything abt myself#and then at the same time i am feel deeply disconnected and not understood and not known by anyone in my life except my mom#which im grateful for at least i have her but why cant i be that same way with friends i have literally had for 20+ years#i know i have to open up unprompted like without someone begging me to do so or its just gonna get worse and worse#but at the same time if there is this friend and shes curious idk theres just a million different things running through my head and im#just not ever a 100% honest or genuine with them#i guess in a way i also want to be seen in a certain light and as a certain someone and i do try to preserve an image of sorts even though#thats ridiculous to do with your fucking friends idk i guess im pretentious as shit?#i dont even know anymore#more than anything its like often when i share sth that was hard for me to open up abt i feel like ppl dont treat that with care or at#least havent in the past#and i rlly rlly hated that a lot and just i dont know#i told my mom some of the things my friends have said to me which has upset me and she was it sounds like they dont know you at all#and then she said but can i tell you that this is your own fault#and im like. i know. whag are they supposed to do#idk why am i like this what purpose does this serve omg id love to spend a day as an oversharer irl just to get a glimpse of what its like#i know this sounds odd bcs me online is just pure word vomit but thats probably also overcompensation cause i dont share these things with#my friends aka the ppl who i should actually be talking to#anyways
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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Thinks abt my lob corp nuggets oh so hard. I may only have second hand half remembered knowledge of project moon worldbuilding but I will still forever obsess over my lil guys who suck absolute ass
#rat rambles#oc posting#I <3 women who are just straight up bad people#this is mostly abt my girl yuri but its also abt my girl juliet#yuri is well. she's certainly smth.#she's very fascinated in psychology and in particular the psychology behind abnormalities#and it is for this reason that shes in disciplinary#for most of her life one of the things that had facinated her most is the mind'd reaction to pain and suffering#so she finds suppressing abnormalities to be very fun and interesting#her girlfriend maxy certainly has an interesting perspective on this aspect of yuri to but it kindly#maxy has a lot of self loathing mostly relating to how numb shes become to everything and how unatural it is for her to care abt stuff#so she sees yuri as a far better person than she is because she still manages to care and be passionate abt things#she deeply admires and loves yuri and feels like she doesnt deserve yuri's affection#maxy is also the only person that I say yuri genuinely cares abt on a personal level#most of the time even ppl yuri rly likes arent safe from her morbid curiosity but she genuinely cares abt maxy's wellbeing#now juliet is generally a lot less extreme than yuri but shes still not great#juliet and her bestie loki both are genuinely very invested in the cause and goals of lob corp which is the first red flag#but juliet is the more noteworthy of the two actions wise because she actually interacts with fellow employees#she was among the first employees here and while she comes off as friendly and nice she takes her job incredibly seriously and doesn't fuck#around when it comes to productivity levels#she generally respects malkuth a lot more than any of the other robots and actively dislikes most of the others#most newbies tend to like her because of her being one of the few higher ranking employees thats friendly and welcoming but most that make#it longer term tend to realize quick that she doesn't care abt any of them#but whats often worse than her not caring abt you is her seeing potential in you#if she sees potential in someone she will make it very clear and do everything in her power to help them realize that potential#one of my other higher ranking guys mason very much hates juliet because of that exact situation#mason rly didnt know what she was getting into when she got hired at lob corp and mostly worked with the much softer abnos for her first#while at the job until she was thrown into the deep end to work on censored#most of the other higher level employees at the time wouldnt be able to make it through a work session with censored but she was#barely. but it was enough that juliet took notice of her and decided that maybe this guy was worth keeping around afterall
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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i know im not alone on this but i also know this statement is like waving a stick at a hornets nest. my overall memories and nostalgia related to hetalia are generally not bad and i think it may have saved a depression-riddled middle school aged me from being lured towards way darker and more mentally damaging content or online groups
#im dead serious like before that i was getting into creepypasta which. look im not one to say horror would make my little developing brain#disintegrate or anything BUT as an online community and a subculture of sorts i think it was far more of a slippery slope into#toxicity and extremism and most of all romanticizing/normalizing things like self harm and unhealthy eating habits and so on#despite what a lot of people say on this site it’s really not an evil and fascism-endorsing show or anything#it just has occasional jokes or concepts that are a bit distasteful– though from what I can tell alot of the ones people point out are#improvised bullshit lines made up by english dub cast members#anyway I won’t get into that whole rant but point is i am so so serious it could’ve been so much worse#the worst thing that came of being into hetalia as a kid was being more prone to finding stereotype humor funny#which im still like. I feel like was much more distasteful in 2012-13 youtube content. like WAY more distasteful#and rampant in general. so even in a show that’s built on stereotypes like hetalia it’s TAMER than the stereotype humor of the time in#a ton of mainstream media. big youtubers were still doing casual blackface back then man. 99% of hetalia’s stereotype humor is like.#canadians are quiet and nice. japanese politeness is to an extreme. germans are efficient. americans are loud and like burger#sorry I said I wasn’t gonna go into this rant so. I digress. I was just thinking about this cause I realized seeing hetalia fanart#generally makes me feel a good- or at least not bad- kind of nostalgia. which seems adverse to the show’s reputation especially on this sit#food for thought or whatever#kibumblabs#oh yeah I know why I started thinking about this- a drawing of seychelles came up on my dash and i can’t help but feel warm seeing her pop#up because she was the first real full cosplay I ever did for a big con. (with help) i hand-made the dress and everything. :*)
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