#and then i feel bad publicizing my feelings like this cause i don’t wanna idk come off as attention seeking

[ilkkawhat]

i'm not doing too well recently but checking your blog in the mornings makes me happy 🫂 i hope things are better for you soon. we can make it through this

oh dear i’m sorry to hear that 🫂💜 i hope things look up for you soon

[fasolabean]

warninggg this is a long one ,,,

(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)

So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).

But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?

Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah

I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.

But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.

Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???

Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.

Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??

TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(

[cmthingssss]

Something New ft. Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, Fem!Reader

WC: 1450 

CW: Exhibitionism, public vibrator use(?), threesome, cum eating(?), cursing (sorry y’all, can’t help it), strap-on, face riding, fingering, oral (f receiving), car sex(?), fluff, use of the word pussy(?), IDK what counts as a content warning okay 

“Babe, I wanna try something.” As innocent as the statement sounded, you knew when Emily put her mind to something, she got it. You’d cave eventually, so you might as well just agree now. You replied, “What do you mean by something? I can’t go into a situation blind.” Prentiss let her gaze travel up and down your body before settling on your face, with her eyes locked on yours she said “You have before.” Playfully smacking her arm, you awaited her explanation. When she didn’t provide it, you began to worry. “Emily, my love, you can tell me any ideas you have and if I’m uncomfortable, I’ll let you know. So don’t worry your pretty little head, and just tell me.”

She conceded and replied with a headnod. “Okay, so you’ve worn a vibrator in public for a short time before, but we’re going out with the team tonight and I want to do it again. Only this time, me, JJ, and Penelope will be passing the remote around. How’s that sound?” Your eyes glistened with the prospect of being controlled by not only your girlfriend, but her two best friends. “Let’s do it.” 

With your agreement, Emily reminded you of the rules, but she left something out. “Emily, don’t I have to ask to cum?” She shook her head as an answer. You stared at her bewildered. 

“Baby, this is going to be your warm-up, so you cum as many times as you need to.” Emily hadn’t even allowed this before, so this was a new experience for both of you. Her referring to it as a warm up did excite you for what she had planned later. You grabbed the box with the vibrator from her and went to put it in. Later when you arrived at the bar, JJ and Penelope were already up to date on the plan and had knowing smirks on their faces. You went to the bar to grab a Coke when it first started. It was on low, so you could manage. But before you knew it, Emily’s phone was getting passed around like a blunt in a smoke circle. The vibrations shot up to a ten, and you almost doubled over. Rossi was near and made it a clear point to ask if you were okay. Looking around for Emily to beg her to turn it down, you ran into Penelope. 

Grabbing her by her arm, you pulled her into a corner. “Pen, I’m begging you. Please turn it down. I can’t take much more.”

She just laughed and said, “You haven’t even came and you’re already fucked out. Besides, I’m not sure who has the remote.” Looking for the rest of the team, you find them in a corner talking, all except Emily and Derek. Great, they’re bad separately, but even worse together, so now you had to find them. You hadn’t noticed the vibrations turned down and almost stopped until they shot back up again. You let out an involuntary moan which caused a couple people to look in your direction. The best course of action was to go into a corner and ride the orgasm out quickly. You found a booth in the corner as the vibrations continued. After a few minutes of them being at high speed, you came. But the vibrations showed no signs of stopping. You had to find Emily, but she found you first. 

“Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling?” She had a devious smirk on her face.

“Em, please turn it down. It’s too much, and people will notice.” Before your face got hot in embarrassment, it contorted in pleasure once again, another orgasm fast approaching. 

“Come on baby, just one more and we’ll take you home… By the way, Derek found us out and he’s had the remote for five minutes, but don’t worry.” She led you out to see the rest of the team gathered in a booth, Derek with a shit-eating grin across his face. You sat on the edge of the booth, Emily next to you. With the vibrations still on high, you had to restrain yourself from letting out a moan in front of your coworkers. You grabbed Emily’s hand under the table to relieve some of the tension. Next thing you knew, you had came again, and it was starting to soak through your underwear, and Emily noticed. She grabbed her phone from Derek and turned the toy back to low. Her and Penelope shared a look, JJ having no part in what happened next, having to return home to her husband. 

“Alright, everyone, we’re going to head out and finish out this girl’s night at the house.” You, Emily, and Penelope stood up to hug everyone and say your goodbyes. 

Derek, staring at all three of you said, “I bet someone’s gonna finish” then bursted out into laughter. Emily slapped his arm before guiding you to the car. She drove while you got into the backseat, needing space after what happened in the bar. To your surprise, Penelope got into the backseat with you. Her and Emily gave each other a look in the mirror before Emily nodded her head. “Y/N. Take your pants off darling.” You swallowed in anticipation and followed their orders. Shimmying your pants off, you stared at her waiting. Penelope tsk’d at you. 

“You know better than that sweetheart, panties too. We have a long car ride home, and I hope you didn’t think we were letting you off that easily.” After you pulled your soaking panties off, Penelope threw them into the floorboard and maneuvered you so your legs were across her lap and spread as much as they could be. 

Emily started up the car and began the route. Penelope continued her earlier quest, tucking the vibrator into its box. She began to spread your pussy lips to observe the mess you made. Her eyes went wide when she finally saw. Penelope began dragging her fingers around, drawing patterns on your pussy with your wetness. This is when you began to beg. “Pen, please do something. Please, I’ll do anything.” She complied with your request, remarking that you would have to cash that offer in later. She inserted a perfectly manicured finger into your pussy. You needed more, but that didn’t stop the moan from escaping your lips. 

Penelope lazily fingered your pussy, never allowing you to cum before you arrived at Emily’s house. You led the way to the bedroom, they were following close behind. Emily laid a harsh smack on your bare ass and grinned. “You know I couldn’t help myself honey.” Ignoring her, you laid back on the bed. Penelope sitting at your side and Emily near the bottom of the bed. Emily lightly slapped your thighs so you’ll open your legs up. 

The second you spread your legs, Emily is between them, ravishing your pussy with her mouth. Still sensitive from earlier, you began moaning instantly and grabbed Emily’s hair. Penelope began playing with your nipples, alternating between sucking and flicking the buds. “Pen? Sit on my face. Please.” You sounded so desperate, she immediately complied. While Emily was still eating you out, you began copying her ministrations on Penelope, causing her to scream. You pulled her thighs down so she could sit more comfortably. Emily suddenly pulled away from you, but you couldn't stop before Penny finished, so you just kept going. Oh. That’s where she went. Feeling Emily’s cock prod at your entrance, you temporarily stop the movements of your tongue on Penelope. As soon as she had settled into you, you continued eating Penelope’s pussy like it was your last meal. Emily decided to be rough tonight, slamming in and out of you at a pace that made your mind fuzzy. You began moaning into Penelope’s sex, which pushed her over the edge and caused her to cum in your mouth. Licking up every last drop, she began to whine because she was overstimulated. Penelope walked to the bathroom to clean herself up as Prentiss continued fucking you. After another minute, Emily began rubbing tight circles on your clit. You both came together and then she pulled out. Emily went and grabbed a washcloth to clean you up, while Penelope came back and snuggled into you. Once everyone was clean, the women lay on either side of you, all you wanted was to go to sleep. 

“Aren’t you glad you agreed to this honey?” You nodded your head and fell asleep between two women you loved. When you awoke in the morning, they were gone. Turns out they went to get breakfast from your favorite cafe. They’re the sweetest. 

[omegapheromone]

Ok so, between the recent psa about miscecanis scent and reblog of the incels of omegaverse, I can’t stop thinking about how the two would correlate in a verse.

Like, “Chad alphas” could say you need to go buck wild on the Axe so other alphas know what’s “your property” (which becomes yet another omega-repellent because of scent sensitivity). Or even the opposite, where they don’t use anything, like no hygiene At All, because “omegas like the musk” but they just??? Smell like BO?????

But that’s not to say omegas/betas are exempt from this!!!!!! You’re telling me you don’t think some omega incels wouldn’t over-scent all of their bags and shit to like, “allure people in the halls”, but it’s just a Lot and it’s Everywhere. Or even an insecure beta who’s like “can anyone even smell me?????” And it’s like, Yes Buddy, I Promise You We Did Before And Can’t Stop Now

Also just????? The role of actual perfumes in omegaverse. I’m sure they’d exist for so many reasons, but I just wonder like, how they’d be marketed or even placed. Because you’re supposed to place perfume right where scent glands would be normally so I feel like people have a Problem with that while for others that’s The Point, you know?

Idk this just became a ramble. Any thoughts/insights are appreciated :’D

Chai your mind...... this is so good

Niceguy McFedora-type alpha that showers once a month because they think it's unnecessary because your "natural scent" is supposed to be strong to show the "weak and fragile omegas" what a strong and ~healthy~ alpha that will Definitely Treat Them Well you are. (He always has a personal space radius of at least 5 meters or more and doesn't connect the dots)

Or the *ndrewwww t*te type alphas making a point to go to the gym and Not Shower every time they go anywhere in public as some sort of a ridiculous show of dominance and thinking the nasty looks they get from people is because other alphas are feeling insecure and Betas are envious, obviously the Omegas are just pretending to hate it but actually they're all going into heat right now all because of his ~mUsKy AlPhA sCeNt~ (no sir, I know you live in delusion about owning a porsche but this is public transit and your stink is making everyone gag in disgust)

The desperate yet insecure folk of any gender and dynamic buying ridiculously expensive perfumes modelled after celebrities' natural scents (like that one headcanon post) because they think the scent is what made the celebrity famous/desirable/attractive and so if they smell like them then maybe they will also get courted...

And man I'd feel a little bad for the betas thinking they have no desirable scent and trying to "make up for it" because of how much importance society places on alpha&omega scents (that tend to be slightly stronger, sure, but It's not like betas don't have scents!!) And how little betas are talked about in the context of pheromones/scent

Also YEAH on the perfume thing!!!

My own headcanon sort of separates scents into their own cathegories of like, there's the natural scent that's associated with pheromones, it's not the same as body odour from sweat, but also the pheromones are slightly different/separate in that pheromones can affect the qualities of the scent but not the actual scent itself? And then there's obviously body odour, and then on top of that, I think perfumes are often used to either mask or even enchance one's own scent. They'd probably be especially affirming for any transdynamic folks! But also I can imagine some people feeling like their natural scent should be sort of "private" or they just don't want people to pay attention to it, esp if it's very unique? so they'll use fragrances to change it somewhat. Also for people with weaker scents, it could be an insecurity so they'll use perfume to feel more confident?

Oh and I wanna talk more about my headcanon about the pheromone-natural scent relationship! I think pheromones are what cause and are affected by emotional responses, almost like having a sort of... "aura" or "energy" people can read? But pheromones so it's an actual thing. but I also imagine it could affect the actual scent a lot too! I'll use my own peony+peach combo to explain since I know it best, but for example, if I was angry or annoyed, the pheromones would probably make the scent appear slightly "sour", like a sour candy or a flower that's slightly past its best bloom but still emits a really strong scent that starts to smell almost a little "stinging"? Or if I was really content and happy, it'd be like freshly-bloomed peopny blossoms and sweet, perfectly ripe peaches.

Probably in heat the scent would turn more "warm" and "heated" as well as stronger, too, like sitting in a garden of peonies eating a peach dessert during a heatwave in the summer? (Also I just like using that analogy for my own scent a lot. Sitting in a Peony garden and eating peaches. Except in heat it'd be more like a heatwave and much stronger/warmer) Like almost a little overwhelming, but not necessarily in the same way that overusing axe body spray is overwhelming, more like... a heat-scent becomes sort of really thick and warm? And that's why it's so noticeable? Like so ripe it would be "tempting" or something, idk.

For example if someone's scent was "pine forest", and they went into rut, I imagine it'd also increase in intensity a lot. Like... maybe the scent of pine sap really intensifies and gets really "thick"? Or maybe it'd be like... if it rains during a heatwave so the smell is extra strong but also really warm. And maybe someone with a scent like that would smell more like a cold winter forest when they're irritated (which would also be a wonderful way to describe personality through scent- people whose scents turn "cold" and "wintery" being more likely to have that sort of stoic, cold anger than the more explosive hot-headed type bursts of anger...) and when they're content, it'd be like a camping trip in good weather somewhere deep in the woods where you feel safe and relaxed in nature?

Idk man I just like thinking about scents and how scents change based on pheromones & emotions........

I also think perfume could be used to permanently amplify some aspects of specific emotional states in scent. I imagine customer service workers or salespeople using a perfume that maybe doesn't change their scent, but makes them always smell really happy, inviting and nice for better sales results and a better customer experience (especially since I imagine customer service is probably still absolute hell, even in omegaverse... not like they'd actually be feeling very happy to deal with some Karens all day)

Or for people who want others to stay out of their way (bouncers, gangsters, idfk depends on the canon I imagine), they'd maybe use a perfume that makes their own scent always appear a little aggressive/stern, not in the challenging kind of way, but just so people get the idea that it's probably better not to mess with them

But also certain professions having bans on those kinds of things, or even requiring full on scent blockers to be used (especially prevalent in the medical field I imagine)... just. Yeah lots of thoughts on this!

[hees-mine]

i've been inactive but i just caught up on your page and wow! The patreon is def a good marketing idea lol. There will definitely be people who pay to read your works since desperate horny ppl with money buy anything😂this whole "i don't have enough money" excuse is tickling me bc it seems like these ppl have more things to worry ab than begging for part 2s😭.

but yeah it was a bit surprising bc even though writing is time-consuming and im not getting paid on here, that's not what I do for it for. I genuinely like expressing my creativity for the fun of it and over time it feels like a piece of art. its just fun idk.. it's kind of mind-boggling that you're complaining about not getting anything in return because what else would you get in return? All your supporters can do is like comment and re-blog, they can't do anything else bc it's just a social media platform lol. i'm a pretty big page but even if it were 20 people reading I would still enjoy pleasing those 20 ppl. If the hate or negativity ur referring to is getting that bad I personally would just turn off asks!

ur gonna do what you wanna do and you'll make money regardless so kudos to you! It's just that i don't think this writing field should be taken so seriously or have such an effect on you, and heeseung is a human being in real life, so it is kind of weird that you'd want financial gain from it since he can't consent to that. but hey I support everyone's hustle.

you have amazing stories on here so I took a sigh of thanks that you're not going to delete or deactivate. They get me through a lonely night girl.😂😂def just delete the app if it ever gets too much for u!

Sigh

The wording of this is horrible

A lot of back handed compliments here but it’s all over text so maybe I’m not reading it right so I’m not going to dive into it

As far as money goes people can do whatever they want with it if they have it they have it if they don’t they don’t I’m not going to get into peoples finances let alone call it an “excuse” however I do agree their are more important matters than asking for a part 2

Key word YOU don’t do it for that reason me and you are two different people I don’t do it to make money either cause this blog was free to the whole public in the beginning so money was not on my mind when I made it

By you saying “i genuinely like expressing my creativity for fun” implies that I don’t

Im sorry that your mind is boggled because when I said I don’t get something in return was not in regards to money it’s a simple request for respect thats what I’m not getting here is basic respect and thats all I’ve been asking for for the past couple months

I get how social media works lol and the thing is I don’t need numbers or reblogs simply appreciate and respect my wishes and we’re gucci over here I don’t care if I had one reader as long as you’re appreciative of what I take time out of my day to do I’m cool with that

The negativity comes in more forms than just my ask box

I’m not taking it seriously and I don’t think anyone else is either clearly at the end of the day it is by no means affecting me in my personal life

Geez

This isn’t about “financial gain” it’s an opportunity for me to try and find the people who actually care about what I do and weed out the ones who just mass consume content with zero feedback sure I’d be making a little money off it but it would never be enough to sustain anything in real life I’m not greedy for a few bucks

So basically with that logic if him not being able to consent to me writing stories about him and making said money from those stories people would have to stop making fanmade items as well cause he’s not consenting to that either

Or is this different because there’s smut involved?

Either way it’s neither here nor there

Again the financial gain part is not even what I aim to do like I said some money would be involved yes but I’m not out here asking for 200$ dollars

Don’t know if you looked far enough but I’ve stated multiple times that if anyone had questions about pricing and what content they’d like to see then shoot me a dm/ask I’m open to making this a place where my readers can be happy and I can get away from the negativity that has plagued this blog

Thank you for liking what I put out i appreciate it🩵

It’ll never be a point where it gets too much because as I stated it’s just annoying but other than that it doesn’t have an impact enough for me to delete my blog it’s only an issue on tumblr

If I do ever delete it’ll be because I’m done with writing

Thanks for the input I hope my response just gives a little more insight on what things are like from my pov

[kissitbttr]

TJANK FUCKING GOD YOURE TALKING ABOUT THE R@PE SHIT IN THIS FANDOM. I'm actually in disbelief of how often it's being written. And I get the whole 'dont like, then scroll' and whatever, but when I open up my dash/tags and the first FIVE FUCKING FICS are r@pe fics???? And there's more every day, by the same, but also newer writers??? Wanna know what that is? Normalization. There's one blog on here that's so so so bad for it. And honestly, I get darker content, and I get the interest in rape from a psychological and conditional aspect, but that is when it's being taken seriously. These writers on here? Yeah, they're not fucking taking it seriously. If I see one more '💕🌷🎀' on a r@pe fic, I'm going to fucking lose it.

I can't imagine showing a survivor of SA one of these fics and telling them there is more like it. Like... How embarrassing. But the excuse is that the writers were SA'd and that this is the way they can work through their trauma. Personally, that literally does not add up to me. But! I'm not a psychologist so I can't dictate how someone works through their trauma. But, I can have an opinion on what they put on a public domain. And that's where the whole COD fandom issue lies. There is literally no healthy discourse. If you ask someone why they write about r@pe, they either block you, publicly slander you like you're the idiot for asking about a r@pe fic (???), or tell you to fuck off or something. Like... Why can't we just have a healthy discussion about it?? ESPECIALLY in a fandom with a pretty large female following. We SHOULD be talking about this not being hostile to each other, writers and readers alike.

Idk, sorry for the word dump. I spent four hours talking to a friend about this (who doesn't have Tumblr) and the general consensus was the same. I wish people could just think a little more critically. Just because you have a kink, or think somethings hot, doesn't always mean it's okay. And when you're consistently writing about it as a way to work through it, and posting it online, that just might be a sign that you should talk to a professional, cause there's nothing wrong with getting a second opinion.

took the fucking words outta my mouth babe. you are so RIGHT

tbh i never seen someone actively open about their trauma and say that they write the r*** fics as a way for them to cope. that’s definitely new to me. i mean, i’m no expert too and i can’t exactly say and tell them how to feel but yea that’s a little… bizarre. whether or not they’re using that as an excuse so they can write it i have nothing to say abt that. but if it’s a lie then they can go fuck themselves.

it’s not only this fandom i believe, right? there’s gotta be more and that’s the most fucked up thing about it. like i do not need to know you’re some mentally fucked individual who enjoys writing and reading about r*** content, u keep that shit to yourself. do not bring that bullshit here.

it’s pretty saddening to know that telling ppl to fuck off is their only response. which makes me realized that they are only good for one thing. how could you not have any ounce of decency in you to actually be aware of those things and realize that r*** is not okay and will never be okay?? I don’t care what’s the excuse or whatever reasons u want to bring to the table. if u don’t wanna talk about how r*** takes the joy out of a SA victim and leave a permanent scar in which they have to live with everyday, then there is no point in writing them at all.

and also, you know what saddens me more? the blogs that normally write them comes from women. because, man… you should’ve known better… you should’ve known that no woman on earth could ever live in peace knowing that one exact fear is the reason why we are so terrified of going out alone. why we are so terrified of men. why would you ever go out your way and change these beautiful characters to be some sort of evil spawn ?? weird ass bitches.

don’t be sorry for the word dump!! because i’m glad that some of you came into my inbox and expressed your thoughts about this particular bullshit.

they do need to get some help. and i mean this in the most nicest and disrespectful way possible tbh.

[e77y]

relating to that vent, i getchu so bad. i feel like in general, the internet might worsen compulsions & obsession within ocd + etc. i have a similar feeling (wouldnt say identical cause i know u from tumblr n yaknow yaknow) that tells me everything i do needs to be 100% morally correct or [insert awful things] will happen to me or someone i love. and this is easier to deal with when you're offline, because there's a limit on the people that can get mad at you. half of the world won't get mad at you because only 0.00001% (or whatever) of the world knows you, yaknow. on the net, it feels like everyone who has an account knows you. your brain telly you anyone who has an account on here might see what you posted & they might be mad at you & they might make a callout post or whatever. even though they don't know you. which is a terrifying thought for many. i dont think youre alone in this, genuinely. and i feel it can be improved. some stuff that's helped me: - making separate accounts w private stuff (doesnt rly work on tumblr but like a private account on insta & etc etc) - rationalising thoughts (an example of this would be thinking: is it really likely many people will agree with someone being mad at me? or: how many people actually do see my posts? is that proportional to the amount of followers i have) - and talking ab it w friends. genuinely, the communication + processing of these thoughts & feelings is soo helpful. sending u soo much love <3 if u wanna chat a bit ab it you can dm me :) (ask can be published or responded 2 privately, whatever u prefer!)

Thank you so much for this message omg :’) ❤️❤️❤️❤️ So thoughtful. This made me tear up a little haha. I’m posting it here so I can look back at it later; hopefully that’s okay.

I’m really glad to hear other people feel the same way/have the same worry… like logically I know that it’s something a lot of people worry about, but idk; my brain has a way of convincing me I am the only person in the world who has done anything ‘bad’ ever LMAOO. So this was really nice to hear

Also I’m a very talkative person! Like I’m definitely an introvert, but I do like to talk about myself and my interests and my feelings etc. Especially when I have a forum (cough Tumblr) to post into the void 😭😭 So I guess that’s part of my issue; IRL, there are less people to be upset if I do/say something ‘bad’, and most of them are my close friends and know I don’t have bad intentions. But online, I walk on eggshells bc 1) strangers online DON’T know my intentions and 2) I just think my mutuals are really cool lol. So I don’t want to do/say anything ‘bad’ or even embarrassing in their presence yk? And online, their ‘presence’ comprises literally all the time w everything I post

I should probably make a more private account 😅 This one is kind of that (just bc it has far fewer followers than my other blog), and I have one on Instagram with like two people following it that I haven’t touched in a while, sooo maybe I will go back to that for more personal vents and whatnot 🫡 I try not to post anything TOO personal on Tumblr, anyway. I just also really like creating fan content, which sort of inherently puts me in a public space even if I don’t WANT to have an ‘audience’ (regardless of how small that audience is; ik there are people who look up to my writing, and that puts a lot of extra pressure on me, but I don’t want to stop writing, either…. Agh)

Idk this is probably overly personal and also very disjointed bc I just finished writing a 1,800 word essay and my brain is mush lol. I’m just sort of reiterating everything you said. Sorry for making you read all this lmao 😭🙏 But thank you for the kind words, seriously ❤️ I really really appreciate it :’D !!!!!!!

[mal3vol3nt]

What’s your theories for s3 and how do you envision the finale? Open ending do that is up to us or time jump?

i haven’t really sat down and fully thought about what i envision s3 to be like cause i kinda wanna jump into it with as little expectations as possible y’know? but i do have some opinions and vague-ish expectations based on the trailer:

abdication???

so the trailer kinda makes it clear that wille is gonna be struggling with the idea of whether he truly wants to stay in the line of succession or not. it’s clear that that’s gonna be a huge topic of discussion, but i think at the end of the series we’re actually going to have a very clear idea of what he’s gonna end up doing in the future. i don’t think we’re gonna get a time jump, so i’m assuming it’s just gonna be made very obvious as to whether he’s gonna abdicate in the future or not

(i’m on team abdication ❌👑)

wilmon endgame???

this one i’m more iffy about lol cause i genuinely don’t know how they’re gonna leave off simon and wilhelm’s relationship. i don’t think they’re gonna be broken up or on bad terms with each other cause idk that just doesn’t feel right

so my gut is telling me that we’re either gonna get:

1. they’re still in an official relationship despite all the trouble they went through. they’re not out of the woods yet but they’re gonna try getting through it together

2. they’re not officially OR unofficially together. they still love each other (obviously) but things have been difficult so it’s kind of (positively) open ended as to whether they get together as an official couple later on

august

this is honestly just what i hope happens even tho it’s very possible it doesn’t

i don’t want anything good for august. so anything that might make him feel vindicated is immediately a nope. so because i’m on team abdication for wille, i really really REALLY want august to face some kind of repercussions that make it so that he can’t take wille’s place in the line of succession

these repercussions could (and likely would be—if it were to happen) the video. i’m pretty 100% sure sara reported him for the video at the end of s2 and since wilhelm admitted it was him in said video, i imagine a report like that is gonna be taken a lot more seriously and may even result in an investigation. the royal court would likely invade the investigation to stop anything about august’s involvement from coming out but still… i think having august take place as next in line would be too risky for the royal court if that detail were to ever be made public

also it could be his drug addiction that gets him in trouble. not as likely in my opinion but wouldn’t be mad if that’s how things played out. just as long as he gets what he deserves!!

so yeaaaa definitely hoping he doesn’t get what he wants because i will be fucking pissed lmao

~~~~

anywhore those are my thoughts. not very detailed lol but it’s just what i assume is gonna happen <3

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

How do you deal with an internet cyber bully/stalker?

It’s very difficult not responding at times but I’ve learned not to the past few days I haven’t responded and I just block every account I believe is theirs or know is theirs. They keep starting rumors about me and rallying other users against me to abuse me out of the trauma tags and luckily nobody fell for the smear campaign but it’s getting a bit obsessive and too much. Like they’re DMing me from multiple accounts tagging me on other accounts they have and claiming I posted bad things in the past on my account that I know I would never post….bc it’s not like my character to do the things they claimed I did. They’re saying I deserve the abuse. I’m scared and it’s caused me an anxiety attack already but I’m refraining from posting about them, refraining from responding, and simply blocking every time. It’s not like I sent nudes or anything so they don’t have anything to like threaten me with… I ignore them so idk what they’re doing bc I try not to look at any of their posts so idk everything they’re saying about me other than the threatening messages. I don’t post about them ever, like I don’t bc the one time I did post about them to prove to people I was being harassed I deleted it bc they threatened me with fake evidence against me…. So I post nothing publicly and never answer DMs. but I do DM friends online and tell them not to post anything public about it bc I don’t wanna piss my stalker off. They do claim they know things about me which is creepy. Idk that’s all. Get to this when you can no rush. Thanks for listening.

- Amanda

Hi Amanda,

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. The best options are 1) continue to ignore/block, 2) report their posts/blog for harassment, and 3) get authorities involved if it continues. As frustrating as it is to see entirely falsified things being spread around, it can help to remember that anyone who falls for it lacks critical thinking skills, and as long as the accusations are truly false, you don't have much to worry about. Some people have too much time on their hands, and it sounds like you're dealing with one of them.

There are some people that are worth talking it out with, and some people that aren't. One time I was getting repeated hatemail from the same user who was upset by something I said but didn't express that. Instead, she told me that I deserved everything that happened to me and that her abuse is worse than mine, so I have nothing to complain about. When I blocked her, she made alt accounts and spammed my DMs. I'd block her, she'd make another alt, etc. I ended up blocking 12 blogs and I just thought it would go on forever, so I texted back saying "Wait, can you tell me what happened, what did I do to upset you" and then she explained that I said something that personally offended her. I apologized, she apologized, and I never heard from her since. But of course, there are people that double down even when you try to communicate and sort things out. But perhaps it's worth a try.

If anyone has other suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[essiekuko]

that’s not fair nicole ur 5’2 ofc ur gonna be lower than 100lbs 😭😭

u guys like. i have heather duke in my pfp. how else did u expect me not to have an €d lmfao

finally getting back into f4st1ng, like it’s abt time. it’s almost christmas soon and like my whole family tree is coming over. i need my sk1nny comeback asap. my longest f4st was from sept 30 - oct 3 (mean girls day hehe) for 74hrs. i didn’t even know about keto, c4ls, i just had sunrise fast app and a dream lmfao. and i just did it just like that. now it’s nov and it’s pretty much now or never

it gets easier when u either sk1p the start of day m34l or end of day of m34l. like if u sk1pp3d brek/din u set urself up for a successful f4st. that and avoiding the kitchen at all times lmfaoo

idek anything abt berserk but i just b liking it cause of guts and casca. shld i even be liking it cause of guts and casca cause i feel like i shouldn’t like i feel like something bad happens that i don’t wanna know. which is why i’ll never read it (fanboys cry harder)

anyway i like that girl with the short blonde hair in the cute two braids i think? what era is this berserk even taking place in. looks either medieval or victorian.

i love misato sm. obviously not what she did. i mean i love mai sm, i especially like her hair and want hair like that soooo bad

this is probably the besttt mean girls broadway cast ♡ i still dk who sabrina played but ik she ate wtv role she got anyway

theres only 3 times in my life where i eat. when im on my period, when i have to study and during family events. rn im on my period AND i have to study smh. so i cant rlly f4st as long as i'd like. i rlly need to lock in especially now bc theres only abt 1 1/2 weeks left of nov and then its december and i srsly cannot be f4t in december. not again!!! my period ends this saturday so by sunday i'll start a big long f4st til the end of nov. and i made up this little challenge, i call it the advent calendar, where i f4st from december 1st to december 25 and christmas will be my big break. december is like perfect f4sting season, cause there's no more exams so no more studying and everyone's in holiday mode. i think. if i get my period before dec 25 it'll fvck everything up, cause even when i dont 3at i still get that stupid fvcking period w31ght g41n. hopefully if it does happen, it'll happen close to dec 25, but not on dec 25, but close so that by the time it's over i would've sl1mm3d back down. my old c4l intake used to be 600cal, but i notice i just 34t over that anyway, so it's 800c4l now and i dont even 34t all the way up to 800, i usually stop at around 750-780. as long as its under 1000 is all that matters. then i kinda get to thinking, if im gonna sk1p din and brek, why 3at at all lol. cause i always be 3ating at around 1-2pm if im feeling hmm idk a bit normal today. and i felt a bit normal today so i 4te unfortunately. but then again im on my period so im not normal??? also bc while i was studying i was falling over the table so i just got up and 4te immediately awww. more honestly, it's cause nobody was around. so i dove straight in and b1nged it out. thats a rlly bad habit but ik its not just my experience. 34ting when nobody's around and then f4st1ng when ur in the public eye. it should be more like this: 34ting when everyone's around to look normal and then f4st1ng when nobodys around. but then thats the thing, ppl want me to 3at, but i dont want to do what ppl want me to do, so i dont 3at kind of in protest of that. and obviously when theres no ppl around to tell me what to do........ and besides, i look normal enough. so who's gonna worry anyway??? i feel like i just annoy ppl when i dont 3at lol. shit i should've just come straight here when i felt hvngry in the first place. then i wouldn't have freaking 3aten at all lol.

OMG THIS. THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABT. if u want to see what im talking abt js search keyword 'live thru this' on my blog. also how do u do that 'below the cut' thing. cause my bulk posts are starting to annoy me.

miss destiny snow is BUILT DIFFERENTT i just had to say that before i move onto my next post but she rlly is!!!

I FOUND THAT ARTIST THAT SPECIFICALLY DRAWS THE UMMM THE THIGN!!!! THE TIGHN!!! THE THING!!! THEY DRAW THE STUFF1!!

[sirenascelestiales]

So…I just gave lots of stuff to write down and think about and figured I’d do so on the public journal that is my tumblr.

been watching lots of tv lately:

Heartstopper season 3 (loved it! I’m glad younger gens have this very cute but still serious topic show that isn’t just like a drag about hardships)

I made it to s1e7 of sense8 and idk if it’s cause of how much cast there is but like I don’t find myself curious about their connection or much about their lives? I find myself caring more about Capheus’ storyline and wishing they fleshed it out more and about Kala and Wolfgang’s chemistry and wanting to learn more about that than any of the others tbh 🤷‍♀️ I mostly get annoyed at Sun’s and Nomi’s storyline but not like “I wanna know what happens” more like “this is too annoying to watch” I think I’m gonna give up on it as I stopped 2weeks ago now and haven’t feel like watching

I’ve made it to season 4 of Sex and the City, that show benefits from being 30 mins instead of the hour cause some episodes I’m like “no that’s not good in 2024” but also I don’t hate Carrie as much as everyone seems to? Don’t get me wrong the focus should have been on Samantha, I agree with that. But Carrie just seems like any other woman looking for love and gets blinded by that to me? She’s a better friend I think to Miranda than she is Charlotte and Sam. Despite all of them calling each other best friend I know some people our age back in like Middle school said that’s the title for 1 person not multiples. Anyway, it’s entertaining enough, idk how Carrie chose Big over 90s John Corbett but they’re both kinda terrible so they deserve each other?

besides what I’ve watched of SATC I only knew that someone has breast cancer (I think Miranda) and then a baby (I assume Charlotte who has a wet blanket for a husband, who should marry his mother so I hope she like finds another WASPy man to marry) and anyway I was going to say it does feel like a real friend group and that’s why I’ve stuck with it more than Sense8

A discovery of witches! Short about 8 episodes per season, 3 seasons and I’m done already! It’s been a super fun random little show! I’m on the waitlist to read the first book at my library and honestly the only gripe I have for this “twilight for graduate students” 🤣 is gallowglass’s love came out of NOWHERE and the demons are useless they should have had some semblance of power beyond “influential” and I had to Google why they were allegedly powerful. Otherwise it wasn’t even that clear if they were like immortal (I assume so cause of Hamish).

Watched Interview With the Vampire and obviously that’s been my favorite; best show, best acting, (Adow is probably the prettiest looking show cause of the locations but it’s also AMC so kudos to those ppl👏 ) no notes! Excited for season 3

onto life!

my doggo was sick last week. $800 later, vet told me he ate something bad and had a bacterial infection in his GI system. He is better now 💕 back to barking at the kids who wait for the bus in front of our house. 🐶

Work: I’ve now made like 5 massive typos across like 3 mass emails, one of them to our external community and 😩

logically, it’s not the end of the world. And everyone was cool about it (I discovered them all post-send but before someone could tell me 😅 so I was somewhat prepared) but I feel like a failure at my (new) job as it is communications. And even my boss was like “don’t be too hard on yourself, it happens” but like ITS EMBARRASSING

😭

Personally, I’m learning how to swim! Signed up back in summer idk when? Started late September and have 2 more lessons to go! I can’t breathe! I either hold my breath the entire time or when I move my head out of the water to breathe I move too much of my body (according to the instructor) and lose my not balance but it’s not swimming properly anymore.

I need to find a way to move my legs, arms and head in a rhythm that allows me to properly swim. However! I really enjoy being in the water! I’m learning at the rec center that only has 1 pool and it’s constantly booked for lessons but free most of the weekend midday to afternoon. But! There’s a local aquatics center that is almost a little bit closer but a bit expensive ($55/month what I used to pay for a gym back when I went during college) that holds Zumba and yoga in the pool and just lets you swim daily (no weekends tho 😒) so I’m debating! Bc I’ve never liked working out or the gym but I enjoy yoga and Zumba and being in a pool! So we shall see.

in other news, went to a cider festival in early September and haven’t had alcohol since (not purposefully just realized it last week) so I’m trying sober October and 😒 never has it felt more like there’s only alcoholic activities available than now just after committing myself to it! Didn’t tell anyone either and last night when I went out with friends they all were weird about me saying I didn't want to drink! Which huh 🤔 didn’t realize my friends were weirdos, we were at a bar and I said I’d be the DD (we have driven there before and ended up with Ubers when we realize we shouldn’t drive). Point is now it’s out of spite 😈

I don’t think my friends are terrible I just also don’t think we’ve ever had like a sober due to past abuse of alcohol or substance friend 🤷‍♀️ that I know of

also helped that weird sorta crush I had on a friend of a friend, since I stayed sober I realized he’s gunning for another friend of a friend and if she’s his type I am not (they’re both heavily tattooed and she’s very skinny and goth - I am 0 tattoos, chubby and not super girly but I wore a pink polka dot top! So not a match! 🤣)

Feels good to write that all down…

[jihyoruri]

ok hi guys!! sorry for my absence 😞 I’ve had a lot of schoolwork and I’m trying to finish this momo fic but it literally requires me to comb through every single year month and day of twice’s career just to keep an accurate timeline 😭😭ffs. I’m looking up “how far is inkigayo from the Han river” and “luxury korean cigarette” just to get some accurate timeframes and materials like THIS IS NOT FUCKING SERIOUSSS

but in honor of the stardom fic FINALLY DROPPING (I love them all their so funny 😭😭but eunjin and yuri are still my faves) here is my analysis on why “real men” by mitski is richgirlyn’s song (if you couldn’t tell richgirlyn is my favorite yn and has been since her fic dropped. I am THEE FIRST richgirlyn stan do not PLAY)

so uhmmm.. TW FOR ED DISCUSSION! also maybe grammar mistakes idk

Real Men - title, ties into her mothers style of raising children.

“Real men don't need other people”

-start of the song. richgirlyn has been raised to believe she is “better” than other people, and that she can’t rely on others to not appear weak. this perfectly lines up with her mothers way of raising children, in the way she only knows how to parent boys, making richgirlyn believe she has to be a “real man”, in the sense of emotional control.

“And real men suck it in”

-yeah. richgirlyn has anorexia, an eating disorder. this was caused by her mother and her insistence on richgirlyn to LOOK a certain way. im sure she always told her to suck it in, sit up straight, on top of “lose some weight”. i get you so bad richgirlyn I get you so bad. SHES JUST LIKE ME FR😭😭.. but yeah anyway “real men suck it in”, kind of self explanatory. Her mother is forcing her to be a “real man”, telling her to suck it in appearance wise but also “suck it up”. boys don’t feel emotions silly

“Real men don't flinch or bleed in public”

-again, tying into the fact that her mother raised her to believe showing emotions is a sign of weakness. you can not flinch or bleed in front of anyone, you can not be hurt in front of anyone. in the sense that people will rub salt into the open wound no matter how much they tell you they will not. they promise it’s sugar and it never is. a you can never trust another person enough to see you vulnerable because they will turn it against you. the saddest thing is richgirlyn literally opened up a fraction to chaewon and she became ten times more vicious. this probably reinforced to her what her mother always said— trust no one, don’t be weak in front of them. she can’t even trust kazuha. this is the reason richgirlyn does not cry in front of ANYONE

“Oh, I think I'm a real man

Little boys cry and look around for comfort

And always get what they want”

-no because she’s literally the song. little boys (her brothers) probably could get comfort from their mom because she favors them and loves them. any hardship they go through is treated more seriously. they always get what they want— they get to be loved, they get attention, they’re perfect, and most importantly they get her mothers love. all richgirlyn really wants is her mom to accept her, to love her. i know she would immediately accept it if her mom told her “I’m sorry, I love you”. like she would fold immediately. little boys always get comforted, they get to be loved— but she has to be the pinnacle of success, of perfection— she is not allowed to cry, to have comfort at all. she must be strong

“Little boys see toys and say, "I can take that!"

-they the type of brothers to break her dolls and laugh at her I can feel it. this is a subtle nod to how men think they’re entitled to women, ie, how these show hosts treat richgirlyn like she’s stupid and constantly objectify her. they think that she’d some idiot girl, and they can say and do whatever they want to her.

“Oh, you are my little boy

Though honestly sir, all I wanna do

Is get naked in front of you

So you can look me up and down

And tell me, "Well done girl, you're looking good"”

do I even have to go through this.. (yes).

the “little boy” is simultaneously chaewon and her mother.

maybe this is just my experience, but there’s always a sick part of you that wants the person who hates you to suddenly love you or feel guilty for it. if they’re sorry it proves that you didn’t deserve it, they feel bad for hurting you because no one should.

richgirlyn wants approval from both her mother and chaewon. she’s learned to ignore them, she knows she shouldn’t, but it’s this constant hunger she can’t quite bury

the “get naked” isn’t literal, moreso she wants to be vulnerable and explain her true feelings, to be told she’s done well, they’re proud of her— she wants to be understood. she wants chaewon to know her, for her mother to understand her, and be told she is accepted and loved for it, that she is “good”. 

in another sense, it could be taken literal. the eating disorder makes her crave validation for her physical appearance. if her mother saw her and said “you look good” or “you’re pretty” she might not show it but she would feel like it was all worth it. she would feel vindicated, good, proud of herself. it’d motivate her to starve more, to keep doing what she’s doing because her mother finally “loves” her, is proud of her, accepts her. I don’t even wanna THINKK about what this woman would say if she knew every part of her daughter (and if I said she’d be so homophobic..). basically this is saying richgirlyn wants to be understood, and with that understanding, have someone still love her and be proud of who she is.

“Real men keep cool in the face of a fire

Go down with the ship”

-just reinforcing the belief that “real men”, what she has been raised to be, do not panic or show strong emotions. they do not abandon things that hurt them, they stay there to the last second. the ship could be her family. they are hurting her, they are toxic, and yet, she will not leave them. that is who she is, that is a part of her, and she can not leave it.

“And real men don't eat, 'cause they're above that, damn it

Oh, I'm gonna be a real man”

-be serious. she has a whole ed this line is gonna apply to her

i don’t know how much the ed actually effects her way of thinking but when I was deep into the disorder I genuinely felt subhuman if I ate. i felt absolutely disgusting and like I was less than a human being because I ate something. i felt like if I didn’t eat I was “better” than people who did because I had self control and it would make me “prettier” in this end. maybe richgirlyn doesn’t feel like that but there is definitely a (slight or big) superiority complex that comes with having an ed. It makes you hyper-competitive. like if your friend doesn’t eat because they’re not hungry, you can’t eat because they’re not eating and it would make you “worse” than them to eat. and If someone says “omg I’m so hungry” you never actually say it (I’m not tryna get put in a ward) but you have this thought that’s like “I havent eaten in 2 days” or “I haven’t eaten in 24 hours” and you always feel just better than someone else for that. it’s an absolutely sick feeling and makes you feel like a horrible person but with the way she was raised to already believe she was better than everyone this isn’t that much of a stretch. 

“Though honestly sir, all I wanna do

Is get naked in front of you

So you can look me up and down

And give me your love for being so good”

-this is, again, saying that she wants to be loved for being “good”. not much to say here that I didn’t say before, but showing how she wants to be accepted and praised because her mami definitely didn’t give her that..

“But little boys hold me, color me

Praise me, make me feel lovely

For a little while”

-she literally pretends to like guys to feel something LMFAOO

she needs a distraction. the two (kinda just one) people/person she wants to truly love her are her mom and chaewon. they do not give her that, so she looks for validation in other people

If you have someone literally drooling over you and falling to your feet you’re GOING to like it because it makes you feel better about yourself. she likes when people are obsessed with her (like.. not stalker I mean she likes when people are in awe of her) because it proves to her that, yeah, I’m worth something, I’m great, I don’t need my moms approval

but that only lasts for so long because she will always want it. that’s her mom. you want her to love you. you want to be good enough so she can love you.

“So little boy, say you want me

'Cause, well, I can't take it, go ahead

Do it, do it”

-this is more about chaewon. she wants chaewon to want her, even if she “can’t take it”. richgirlyn is willing to hurt herself, bend over backwards, “lower” herself just so this group of girls can like her. she wants to be loved and accepted and liked so bad, she truly just wants someone to not leave and to love her no matter what. she doesn’t want chaewon to hurt her, but she lets her because she sometimes convinces herself she deserves it. 

THATS MY ANALYSIS ON RICHGIRLYN BEING REAL MEN - MITSKI.. I hope it made sense

now moving on to why I’m praying that sakura will be the one to change her mind

while I know in my heart it’ll be yunjin this is my plea to you, lia, to make it sakura because that’s MOTHER

no like literally she’s the oldest and takes care of everyone.. if richgirlyn got another mother figure it would Impact her psyche in a crazy way like

can you imagine if she started getting that maternal validation every day instead of just through tiffany.. it would be over for her

sakura is very mellow and calm and is literally an older sister like it would be so good for richgirlyn if it was her

It actually kills me whenever sakura is mean to her or says something mean because that’s LITERALLY A POTENTIAL MOTHER FIGURE I WILL KMS SO BADD LIKE can you imagine having mommy issues and the oldest older sister esque girl is bashing you I would break down

I feel like with all the experience sakura has idol-wise and the fact that (new interview just revealed) she’s very philosophical and likes to think about things like.. I feel like it would help richgirlyn so much and just put life in perspective.

sakura has definitely been dangerously underweight (5’4 and 92.6 lb, bmi 15.9 (16) if you’re wondering. the “healthiest” lowest bmi is 18.5. bmi is inaccurate but I think everyone knows that’s not a normal nor healthy weight) and mentioned how in iz*one (I think.. she never said like specifically but it was implied) like eating was rough and let me tell you watching those videos of them “eat” and only take like one bite of food and look terrified actually make me so sick like they’re so unbelievably sickening to me they actually make me gag I’m so serious

she would literally help richgirlyn so much and I think after seeing what she goes through with her mom she would definitely be sympathetic like.. sakura is definitely good with emotions and has been an idol for like 10+ years im very much sure having a mother figure or atleast an older girl would fix her 😭😭hear me out on this bc everyone listens to her and I know she would start looking at chaewon differently.. no way eunbi would let this slide like PLEASEEE LET IT BE SAKURA IT WOULD FIX HER

sakura would gentle parent her and be like “hey you haven’t eaten in 3 days please eat an apple or something” LIKE PLEASEPLEPALSEPLEASE YUNJIN IS NOT DOINF SHIT 😭😭(JOKE)

anyway sakura would fix her I’m begging you I know in my bones it’s yunjin but HEAR ME OUTTR SAKURA IS SUCH A GIOD OPTION LIKE it makes sense guys. it makes so much sense like LISTENNN

anyway the stardom work was so good and richgirlyn new work killed me.. like I was writhing around in pain and suffering and clawing at walls.

also so true I would be in eclipse (I mostly listen to mitski and they r a punk band I don’t even know what punk music consists of. or maybe I do I have ultra specific playlists for everything actually pls tell me some punk music so I can understand their sound)

also do you happen to know any cigarette brands that rich people use in korea because I’m going to go fucking crazy looking online I CANT FIND SHIT!! I don’t expect you to know but I’m so desperate

I’ll try to do an analysis on the new chapter but I have so much shit to due 😞sorry if I disappear again guys but just know I do read everything and ur works r getting me through these godforsaken classes lia..

I KNOW THIS ASK HAD A LOT OF QUESTIONS AND INFO SORRY 😭😭ILL TRY NOT TO TALK SM NEXT TIME

-🎏

DAMNNNNNNNNN THIS IS A LOT LMAOOOOOOOO

richgirl!yn’s ed isn’t as bad as it was when she was younger because she’s away from her mom, but as soon as she has a phone call or an actual meet up with her family is when she goes back into that cycle. tbh most of her problems do not root of her ed, her problems root from the mentality that she was raised with.

now with sakura… sorry to break it to you but it would take a lot for yn to see sakura as a mother figure even if sakura gets sympathetic after seeing what happened. sakura was still mean to yn even if you want to ignore it or not that will never go away yk whose also mean to yn? her mom and she doesn’t see her mom as her mom at alllllll, like yn would be completely weirded out if her mom started acting all nice out of nowhere and that would kind of be the reaction yn would get if it was sakura, she would be like “this is weird leave me alone.”

I also alr have plans for sakura so…

I don’t think yn could ever see sakura as a mother figure when she has tiffany in her life someone who has been nice to her since the very beginning maybe a big sister but never mother

[sainthomura]

Okay, then let’s think of it this way: every reason kids shouldn’t be somewhere (their “loud”, a disturbance) can very easily be twisted onto disabled people too.

Being an adult existing in public is hearing kids and people you don’t wanna hear sometimes. A child learning how to be a person in public is not an imposition at all if you’re mature enough to ignore it or god forbid wear headphones. I’m not even sure where this “kids are screaming all the time” thing comes from, I rarely ever hear kids throw big tantrums in public unless I’m in a explicitly child friendly space like McDonald’s or idk the Walmart toy isle. And even then, I ignore it because it’s really not my business and you can be the best parent EVER and a kid will still scream cause their conscience is the size of a pea.

No human being should be seen as a burden to be in public. And even if they’re screaming and shit? I feel BAD for them cause their parents are clearly ignoring their needs. My first thought isn’t “let’s ban kids cause I can’t handle being in public”

I hate the “we should have child free cafes but not dog free cafes” and the “kids shouldn’t be out in public” shit that’s getting popular again cause whenever you ask them why they hate kids they say their loud annoying etc.

Just because another person is inconvenient for you doesn’t mean they don’t get to exist in public.

[moonrisecoeur]

girl i really hate to bug you but like. also feel free to ignore esp if youre like not in a good headspace rn i cant tell if ur feeling ok rn. do you like actually want ppl to talk to u or message u just for whatever? ive really been hesitant to talk to you because i feel like. idk our interests are too different? i dont want to like bore you or anything? or like offend you. cause i cant handle a decent amount of dc, and i know thats your primary interest (i feel a little stupid for being so annoying to u for so long and not realizing that! sorry! i wish i could talk ab ur interests but i just cant :( ) n like idk? i dont wanna talk ab stuff ur not interested in, hsdhshhshd

idk! i just want to talk but idk if its actually an open invitation and dont say that youre not super friendly and nice to everyone bc literally there is not a single ask ive seen u respond mean to! ur genuinely super nice to everyone and idk ! i dont wanna bug u cus i do know u have a ton of cool other ppl that send in asks n stuff! so idk? im rambling and sad idk lol i just crave friendship but i dont wanna be annoying or difficult and i literally cannot read people

im not tagging myself bc u either know and im worried youll be annoyed at me or u can at least not pay attention to this ask cause i am acting needy which, my bad

hey! if it makes you feel any better, dc isn’t my primary interest! i’d say it’s just like general nsfw content, especially msub because i’m super dom-leaning, but i’m such a softie guys it’s just i like to go back and forth so there’s more of a balance so everyone has something from me that they like!! honestly i love dark content but my favorite stuff is soft lovey dovey sappy writing i love it sm !! so if that’s more your vibe then we can chat about it!

the open invitation is exactly that, an open invitation. i’m not just saying that to sound friendly. in the previous ask i said that just in case there was anything i hadn’t cleared up, anything you wanted to say or ask me about my perspective of it. i just didn’t want to answer any more public asks about it for the sake of everyone else’s dashboards.

but you are welcome to message me!! and talk to me about whatever you like! i promise that if it’s leon related, ill probably like it! most of the stuff on my blog is not dark content, its just me being a dommy girl that likes resident evil !!

don’t feel bad for not being able to handle darker stuff, i totally get it girl. some stuff is an absolute no for me, and so i stay away from it completely.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

also do u think it’s plausible that Tom riddle would’ve turned out better or worse if Dumbles adopted him ? i Wanna write that as a short fic but i wanna know what u would think About it first lol. not the fic itself I Am writing that regardless but the premise. (In mine he’s going to kill dumbles but other than that he actually has a solid chance at a future bc u kno he’s the Son of a Respected Man dootdoot nepotism for the win Bestie, so I don’t think he’d go bananas and end the wizarding world as we know it.)

Apologies for my poor grammar and spellings, I don’t have glasses on rn so it could be really bad.

Also really sorry if u have answered this previously I don’t think so but I’m also Very Behind on ur metas I’m sorry :( I took a break from tumblr forgetting that involves taking s break from reading u and (I forgot how to spell the vinelle? Vennelle? idk I always mix the letters up and read neville regardless,, uh the irl is the-real-vinelle if u put the correct spelling in, lol, I’m sorry abt that too) and now I gotta backread

Worse is a strong word but certainly not better.

Caveat the First

You make a note of it yourself, but I feel like I should reiterate.

Write the fic you want to write.

It really doesn't matter what I say here and that you're even asking me, before you write anything down, because you're curious has me a bit leery.

There's a very good chance I will tell you... not what you want to write. Which is fine, but certainly something to keep in mind that you should write what you want to write and not what I write below.

Don't take this too personally, basically

Caveat the Second

Dumbledore didn't do this and would never do this.

Dumbledore despises Tom Riddle, and he despises him from the very moment he meets him (which is very impressive as in that first meeting Tom doesn't really do anything, seriously, go reread that section it's... Dumbledore should not be around children).

And while he has an agenda with Harry, I'm inclined to believe that he believes what he's saying (otherwise he wouldn't use these ridiculous examples he's stored up).

Dumbledore fully believes that Tom Riddle is a doomed child because of his genetics, that his family is predisposed to mental illness (and this is a shameful thing caused by dark magic), and that his impoverished muggle upbringing reflects poorly on him (well, it's not so much that he's poor and muggle, but that Dumbledore seems to expect his muggle peasants to act like they belong in a Tolstoy novel where they're wise and generous beings, where Tom's a suspicious brat who hoards things and doesn't trust strangers who light his wardrobes on fire).

Notice that, rather than extend any helping hand, Dumbledore's instinct is to terrorize and threaten an eleven-year-old boy and then proceed to sabotage any career prospects he has as Tom continues through his schooling.

Dumbledore would make sure that Tom was never adopted by any wizarding family.

But Alright, Let's Go Down this Hell Hole Together

Well, now Tom gets to live with the motherfucker who seeks to psychologically terrorize him and is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Tom will be kept a constant eye on, but not even that, traps will be set up throughout the house intended to tempt Tom into reading this or that forbidden book only for Dumbledore to then catch him and reaffirm that Tom has something wrong with him.

And how noble Dumbledore is, taking him on, as Dumbledore is saving this boy from perdition and uh... his genetic disposition to be a dark wizard.

Tom will be told every day of his life that something is wrong with him, that his going to Slytherin is only an affirmation of that, and Dumbledore will be constantly trying to mold his behavior through suggesting friends, reading material, how Tom should act in public and private, etc.

And Dumbledore will still sabotage any chance at a career Tom will ever have. He'll prevent him from getting any work save for those Dumbledore would deem humbling and appropriate (hello flower salesman in Diagon Alley).

I have no doubt that Tom will have no choice but to simply leave the country and cut all ties altogether. As he will have no future in England and staying near Dumbledore is just asking to be involved in constant psychological warfare.

A miserable time would be had by all

On the Meta Thing

Don't worry about it, this blog is out of control. I'm kind of shocked any one does actually keep up.

[sashi-ya]

OMGGGGGG your latest event is so cool!!! in general i love the night and the moon so ahhh, so excited to request hehe. Could i please have Zoro x fem reader, (nsfw), modern au with prompt skinny dipping under the stars?

Hi sweetheart!! Of course :3 I hope you enjoy this fic! Thank u for requesting 💖🌙

ㅤ🌛 One Piece x Bleach Crossover Event : Under The Moon 🌜

NSFW ~ Lifeguard! Roronoa Zoro x F! Reader ~ Skinny Dipping Under The Stars

tw: Nsfw. Sex with a stranger, please this is is fiction, be careful in real life. Public beach fucking. Angsty start, idk why my mind thought of that scenario to be honest XD

wc: 1.7K

The sand feels cold under your soles, but you don’t care. It’s night-time, and you ran through the coast. The dress you wore for the occasion feels like it’s tangling around your neck and you just wish you could rip it off.

The night hasn’t been the best one of your life as you thought it would be. Your boyfriend -ex- invited you to a “date” at one of the most beautiful restaurants on the coast to “tell you something”. You, your besties, everybody swore he was going to propose, cause… what else could it be, then?

But you all were wrong. The bastard had to communicate that he was going to be a father with some other girl… and he expected for you to keep being his girlfriend.

“Men…”

As you run, you realize your tears turn into something freeing. “Was I really ready to tie myself down to a man? I am not” you shout as the stars blurry flicker in your eyes. “FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU!!” you scream to the sky, untying the straps of the green silky dress you were wearing. The soft material falls from your neck down to your chest and then snags around your hips.

The sea looks beautiful and calm, and you want to swim naked in it. And you will.

The dress ends up on the sand, and your nudity is soon engulfed by the soft waves. It’s not as cold as you expected, and your mascara melts as you sink completely. You don’t need anything else, the mere idea of doing something crazy is enough to make you feel better.

But… are you sure you were completely alone?

“Oi!” a husky voice calls you out. And as you wipe the salty water off your eyes you notice a huge asian guy looking at you from the coast. “Are you ok? Are you drowning? Wait I’m gonna help you” he asks, entering the sea in the sexiest, movie like style.

You, startled, blink repeatedly as his big veiny hands go around your waist to pull you up. “I’m…not-”. “There, safe. Let’s go to the coast” he says, and you quickly realize he must be a lifeguard.

“Wait, no! Sir! I wasn’t drowning!!! I’m ok, please do not take me out of the water!” you plead, you are naked as fuck and the foam of the waves is the only covering you have at this point. The lifeguard looks at you confused, but never lets go of your waist.

He has a special tone of green hair, and one of his eyes looks permanently closed as a scar crosses his eyelid. Sharp jaw, perfect pointy nose, the little vein over his trained arm that you can touch… What a Japanese God.

Your cheeks are on fire, but you don’t dare to push yourself off his embrace. “Uh… I… wasn’t drowning. I’m n- naked” you tell him, looking at the side, seeing the moon reflect on a sea mirror.

“Uh… it’s ok. It’s not a nudist beach, but since there is no one around… guess you can have fun. Are you alone?” he asks, looking at each side. You swallow, his neck looks so fucking kissable. Maybe it’s just the whole Sex On The Beach drink that is finally flooding your veins after you drink it all in one shot when you received the bad news, maybe it’s just how sexy this man is.

“So, are you alone then?” he asks, once again. His steel coloured iris fixes on yours and from his gaze you feel weak. What is it with this man…?

“I am alone, yes” you confess, knowing the alone part has more weight that he could understand. He smirks subtly, not like a predator, but the man would lie if he said you weren’t at least interesting to his eyes. “I see… What do you wanna do, then?” he asks, right away. You don’t really know if he is asking for what you will do with swimming naked situation or what you really wanna do.

Would it be so wrong if you just let your body decide your next few actions?

The tension between the both of you grows stronger as the time passes and you don’t dare to answer. But he doesn’t hurry you, what’s more, he enjoys the way your rib cage goes up and down in between his hands.

“I want to keep… swimming” you finally mumble, looking at his pale lips. Lips that form now a bigger smirk, a smirk that makes your whole body tremble. This man looks like a demon, a demon you are willing to let possess you. “I can keep you company, if you want” he whispers, subtly squeezing your waist.

You sigh, your body is trying to let go at least a little bit of the pressure building inside your core. “Y-yes, keep me company” you stutter and swallow, now scanning the beginning of a big scar crossing his chest.

“Cool” he says, and casually lets go of you. He swims to the coast, and you frown. “What the- wait…” you suddenly realize this man is literally taking his swim shorts off. The whole display of his anatomy bathed by the moonlight making his tanned skin shine with its argentum light.

You gawk, he is… huge. And you don’t even know his name, yet.

The muscles of his chest expand when he opens his arms to then dip inside the water. The waves receive his while déshabillé and he swims closer to you. He gets his head off the water and ruffles his hair, the little salty drops hit your burning cheeks and you could swear some steam forms.

“You are naked” you state the obvious, biting your own tongue at how stupid you feel. “So are you. I told you I would keep you company” he says, so naturally as if skinny dipping was a common practice for him. “Hehe, I guess you are right” you nervously laugh, biting your lower lip.

He smiles, taking a brief look at your breast. Semi visible transparency as the foamy waves have dissipated. It’s now or never, it’s now or n-

The lifeguard snatches you by your waist and pulls you closer to his chest. His lips crash with yours, and you close your eyes instantly. “Let it go, (Name)” you encourage yourself and so do you. You separate your lips allowing the stranger to violate your mouth with his tongue.

His hands rest on the small of your back as both of you melt in a passionate making out session, you can feel his hardness growing against your lower belly. And you want this, you want this so much, even if you weren’t looking for it.

One of his hands ascends through your back and goes up the water to your wet hair. His fingers tangle around it and pull your head back. Your neck, displayed to him, makes his mouth watery as if he was a beast wanting to bite, to drink your blood from your carotids.

You moan as he nibbles on your skin. You moan and cross your legs around his waist, heels burying on his back, as your core searches for a so needed pressure.

He notices your neediness and sexily laughs against your neck. “Eager for me to fuck you?” he asks, licking the salty taste of your skin. You nod because it’s the first time you really need a man to be inside you. A man? more like a God for you at this point.

“What a beautiful coincidence for me to find such a needy mermaid tonight” he mumbles, while his strong left arm pulls your chest out of the water. Your breasts are now up to his face. He gloats and attacks them without any waiting.

He sucks, he bites, he pulls and makes you scream. His short nails carve on your back as your core presses against the tip of his sex. And nothing matters, the sea motion makes you graze your sexes against each other’s, and you don’t know his name, and he doesn’t know yours. You only want his body, and he only wants yours.

You brush his wet mossy coloured hair back, pushing him off your nipples for at least a little. He smiles, this time not sexily, but sweetly and silly. “What?” he asks, softly.

You look at him with needy eyes, and a subtle smirk. No need for words, you are asking for him to fuck you, now, right now. “Heh” he laughs, taking his hand underwater. You feel his arm pumping up and down, and then guiding it to your entrance.

“Let yourself fall over it, I’m holding you” he commands, apparently being an expert on the matter. And you comply, your grip around his waist. The pressure of the water flooding your insides cause you’ve been dilated for a long time, plus the intrusion of his huge shaft makes you curl your toes. “Fuck” you moan, feeling your walls stretch.

He grunts, throwing his head back and tensing his neck muscles. “Damn it feels so tight and good” he whispers in your ear after he had taken his face to the side of yours. “Good girl, now let me fuck you” he says, and by the time you can even process what’s happening his fingers are carving on each side of the back of your thighs to make you hump helped by the waves motion.

Up and down you go, sometimes kissing his lips, sometimes resting your forehead on his wide shoulders. Your nails leave marks on his caramel flesh, your tongue sometimes plays with three golden earrings he has on his left earlobe. And he fucks you mercilessly and up to the point your mind goes numb and foggy.

“I’m coming, sir”, “me too, mermaid”

Both come, trembling, grunting, fixing your eyes on the stars that garnish the sky above your lustful melting bodies. What a crazy experience, what a risky, crazy experience.

He takes you to the coast, where both of you rest for a while, normalizing your breathings and trying to process the sudden sexual encounter you both had.

“What’s your… name? he asks, realizing none of you know the other. You smile and turn around to face him.

“(Name), what’s yours?”

“Roronoa, Zoro. Lifeguard of this beach section” he informs you, sure that you are not even listening nor you care.

But you do, and his name will be ever written in your memory as the window that opened while a door was closing in your life ~