#on purpose

[louhinks]

final draft except all of the manuscript notes are in pink glitter gel pen now instead

[gunnslaughter]

I said what I said! Don’t @ me!

[castiels-undercoat]

Can we be realistic here and all agree that Castiel was INTENTIONALLY writen to fill a 'love intrest role' in Deans life from like at least season 13 and after?

[peppermintquartz]

[hexblooded]

cold facts, jayce is probably doing the right thing on the long run, because:

viktor had asked him twice to destroy the hexcore, he knew it was getting into his head and that he wouldn’t be able to resist its pull, after what happened to sky, viktor knew it was dangerous

and then jayce couldn’t, he needed to save viktor’s life (even if it was dooming him at the same time)

the hexcore is using sky’s image to manipulate viktor, she is the literal embodiment of his guilt and shame and if she tells him he is helping people he will believe it, and in a way he is saving them, they were all dying anyway, but the thing is, the hexcore needs all these bodies/souls/life energy for something

and magic has always been about balance, so even if viktor is saving lives, he’s offsetting the natural balance of the world, that’s why ekko’s tree started dying, so you can extrapolate that the more people viktor saves, the worse things are going to become

whatever jayce experienced inside the wild rune, he saw he made a huge mistake in betraying his promise to viktor, and now he’s trying to honor it again, even if it takes killing viktor for that

[myfairkatiecat]

“Sophie became exactly like Keefe in Stellarlune”

Loud incorrect buzzer

Sophie, beginning in Neverseen and slowly in increasing amounts begins to pick up Keefe’s way of speaking/his form of snarkiness/his style of humor because she spends a TON of time around him and our speech patterns are influenced by those around us. Also, she got older and more confident, so a lot of her shyness melted away. But she is the girl she’s always been—just a lot more confident and making a lot more of the same style of jokes as one of her closest relationships. That is way more realistic than y’all give it credit for

[googoogojob]

[austinbutlerslovers]

Bound to happen & still mentally unprepared 🤯

[I need him]

[ariariari-freehounreal]

Now yer thinking with portals!!1! :3

[shortnsweetgf]

lost in darkness, you're my focus ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

on purpose (2016) — sabrina carpenter

[lostinadmiration]

“Enough, Munson.” ♥️

[soft-pine]

okay so @monstermoviedean is watching s14 rn and her takes are god tier!!! and you should all go read her blog please!

but it just makes me want to talk about lebanon/14.13 so much! like it really is one of my favorite episodes of spn. which is crazy i know because i truly hate john with every fiber of my being but i think this episode reveals so much about him & dean's relationship with him with delicious subtly!

and i've yapped at random on twitter about this but i want to gather all my thoughts in one place.

dean's relationship with john is The most important relationship in spn that i'm interested in unpacking. (i am normal and fine and this has nothing to do with my own issues)

i think for some people who understand john as abusive, it is frustrating and jarring to see him come back after so many years and just be kinda nice. especially given that dean has just finally started to talk to his family about some of the bad things john did.

i maintain that dean has been pretty clear with cas and like random strangers that his dad was shitty. but in 14.11, he tells mary the winchester surprise story. while he doesn't frame the story as truly a critique of john, it is a contrast to his quiet silence and pained expression after newly-resurrected mary says john was a good father in 12.02. in 14.12, dean opens up to sam about how when john was pissed off at dean, he would send him away. this is a stark new light on dean's comments from 7.14 where he apologizes to sam for sometimes "ditching him" when they were kids. sam quickly shuts down dean's apology in 14.12 and subsequent discussion about dean's regrets and feelings about john. but since sam's shift in his opinion about john in 2.02, dean pretty consistently keeps his criticism to himself in front of sam so this is a marked change. and the very next episode script draft includes the infamous "probably pulled the wide-eye hitchhiker routine. dad made me do it all the time on hunts. as bait." so, given the episodes and revelations that bookend 14.13, it's understandable how hard it is to see john and dean interact at all.

but i think it's perfect! because it so clearly shows every truth of their relationship.

firstly, we can look at who john apologizes to. in 1.16, 1.20, and 14.13 john is reunited with sam & dean after time apart. and in all three episodes, he apologizes and/or works to make amends with sam for their fractured relationship. in fact, in 14.13, it's a mention of the winchester surprise that triggers john's apology to sam.

in contrast, the only time john apologizes to dean for his childhood is 2.01 when he says sorry for making dean always have to look after him and sam. and then promptly asks him to kill sam if he has to.

it's crushing to me that at no point does john see the way he treated dean as anything to make amends for. instead, in 1.21 and 14.13, he frames dean not "having a home" or "having a family," "a normal life" as circumstances outside his control or as somehow dean's choice. and yet, john is entirely responsible. he is the one moving dean from school to school, getting him into credit card fraud, taking him on hunts. in 12.09 it's established that dean has as long arrest/warrant record which includes things we never see him getting arrested for in canonical spn. he is the one who always said hunting was temporary (6.02) and yet never allowed for a way out. so even though john's affect is kinder, we know he isn't meaningfully taking accountability for a huge amount of his actions.

it's the reason for the kinder affect we can look at next. because what is one of the most common indicators of abusive dynamics? treating people differently in public vs private. and critically for almost all of 14.13, mary is observing john. and we know that despite their marital problems (5.16), she considered him a good father. he doesn't know that the life he forced sam and dean into is the very worst thing she could have imagined for her children (4.03), but we can tell from his apologies to sam that john is at least aware of things he did which he regrets.

before mary arrives, he is giving sam and dean orders, "You boys better tell me what the hell is going on right now." i recognize he's very disoriented but this affect disappears entirely after mary shows up. i cannot overstate how much i love how not stern and harsh john is here because it shows that he could have always chosen to be like that. but there weren't negative consequences (a wife who might be angry with him) to face.

i've said before that i think one of the reasons that john kept sam & dean away from hunter gatherings and meeting other hunters (2.03, 12.06) is because hunters they met might have acted exactly how dean acts to krissy's dad in 7.11 and told him to quit. the hunters/community john did maintain relationships with were sometimes kinda shitty people - Deacon (2.19), Travis (4.04), Martin (8.09). not that Bobby, Caleb, Pastor Jim, Bill Harvell, Daniel Elkin were necessarily like that but I do think its worth looking at who John's friends who he didn't have a falling-out with were. Like Fred Jones who gave Sam & Dean their first beers when they weren't even 10 (8.08).

some other details about that first reunion kitchen conversation that always stick out to me are john finishing the drink dean pours for him while dean & sam barely touch theirs. it's also significant to me that dean tells mary in 12.01 that john died to save him. but here, he tells john that he died taking out yellow-eyes (which is literally not what happened. like specifically he died by making a deal with azazel). dean, always working to deescalate and maintain the peace, instantly clocks which thing they will each find more soothing to hear.

one thing that i see people often critique is the idea that john coming back is somehow the thing dean wished for the most. but what dean actually says is that this is something he's wanted since he was four years old. so it's really not about john back at all. john died when dean was 27. but mary died when dean was four. and that cause nearly every hard, traumatic, awful thing in dean's life. to some extent, i think it was about wanting john to have mary back. throughout dean's entire life, john used the loss of mary as an excuse for how he acted and what he made dean & sam do. so of course what dean wants most is... for that not to have happened.

and this brings my to my second favorite part of the episode. but you'll only catch if you're paying attention. dean says he's thrilled to have john back and yet at every chance he gets, he leaves the room john's in. he leaves the kitchen when john reunites with mary. dean gets the grocery list from mary while john has a tearful apology with sam. dean talks to john again only because he has to tell him about the pearl but then leaves to help cook. after dinner, he goes to do the dishes. dean really is not actually trying to spend time with john - even when they get a deadline for when their time with him is over, dean is not trying to make the most of it. and god i love him for that.

i sympathize with people who are frustrated to see dean fall back into the role of caretaker for john's emotions and wellbeing. and i agree but i appreciate that it is very clear that's what's happening. he's performing the role he's always been forced to perform. he may be more aware of it as a performance this time. he may be taking more steps to remove himself from having to interact with john. but i would almost feel worse if he wasn't getting john a drink, doing what he said, going on little errands, cooking, cleaning up. john says "You want to give your mom a hand?" and of course he goes.

i think dean always has held both deep hurt from and empathy for john and this episode is full of both of them. and while i think it's always hard to hear dean slip back into those moments of empathy (8.12 is always rough for me), it's so real that's where he would be sometimes. so much of being a child who's made responsible for your parent's emotions means that there is such a deep part of you that wants to protect them from harm.

i personally think the song "til it shines" by bob seger is an insane choice to play over their dinner scene. because, though that's not the part of the song that plays, the lines "Take the chip off of my shoulder. Smooth out all the lines. Take me out among the rustling pines, till it shines, ah, till it shines" always strike me as trying to see something through rose-tinted glasses in a way. or maybe acknowledging the performative, white-washing that's being done?

anyway, i understand why people want dean to have a cathartic yelling session with john. but honestly im not sure that would ever sit right with me. i think honestly 14.13 is kind of perfect. john comes back and it proves everything. john could always be kind (he took you to a freaking baseball game (4.19)). he could always apologize. he always did say he wanted the boys to get out of hunting but never even tried to make it happen.

and that brings me to my favorite part of the episode. my darling. my baby. my treasure. dean says, "i have a family." and what that means to him is his own. he gets to keep it. he gets to mean it without john's scrutiny. without him tearing it apart. the conversation sam & dean have over dishes is another deeply meaningful part. dean specifically rejects the idea of telling john the truth about any of it - even if it would change things. because he's good with who he is. "Cause our lives – they’re ours."

this matters so much to me because i don't think dean's healing can ever be contingent on john - not on his reaction, not on finally telling him the truth, not on john getting comeuppance for all the shit he did, not even on changing the past so john has more information because the critical thing that 14.13 and 4.19 show is that john literally did not do the best he could. so what could change that?

in the kitchen, dean tells sam that he blamed john for "the longest time". do you understand how much it means to me to hear him say that?! because i think of course blaming john is the first step! dean was hurt and he was angry about that and he should be!

but dean's healing can't just stop there. while i know there will be moments as he heals where he's angry with john again, the beautiful core of dean's healing i see in 14.13 is him being clear on where the boundary of him and his wants, goals, needs, and priorities are vs john's. i think a lot of dean's young relationship with john was him being forced to keep parts of himself (the parts that didn't like to hunt for example) secret out of shame and necessity. but here, i don't think dean is carrying that shame anymore. he is very clear on how what he wants from his life differs from what john would want but dean sticks to his own values. he has a family. he's good with who he is. it's just none of john's goddamn business.

anyway, as always mitski says it best....

plus we get two of THE MOST shots of dean's face of all time for me!!! like my god stabbing me would hurt less!!!

plus! PLUS!! CHERRY ON TOP!!! LOOK AT THESE NOOOOOODLES

in conclusion. your honor, i love her.

[where-is-my-whump]

+bonus😏

The Mentalist 5x08

[glitter-stained]

We need to address something I don't see coming up enough in the fanon vs canon conversation about Jason vs Dick being tim's Robin. We talk about how the size of the hero worship for Dick, the victim blaming, how Jason was like this shadow/threat looming over tim, how everyone starting with Bruce and Alfred disrespected his memory to use as a cautionary tale so the image tim had of Jason wasn't accurate, and again the amount of victim blaming that was so fucked up, and how there was also this idea that this is still a dead child which implies some very martyrish form of "well you have to honour his legacy and aim to be as good as him and save the people he cared about because he's fucking dead" and I think that that canon fucked up parasocial relationship between tim and Jason has the potential to be so interesting (they deserved so much more than the titan tower fight for real it could have been fascinating exploring that). All of this can be interesting and it can be deep and angsty and so good.

But!

But.

Hear me out:

The real thing that's missing from this discourse, once we've acknowledged the worth and reality of canon, is that (even without the very woopified emo tim representation), fanfics about how Jason was tim's hero and tim's Robin would send early Robin tim, at least, into such a rage. I'm not saying there's no nuance or he just hates Jason and nothing else. But some versions of early tim specifically I think would feel such a deep rage at the implication that Jaybin was his favourite Robin and he only loved and idolized him, and I think that version of tim at least deserves it. Like, if I could make him read all of these fanfics and he has to and can't zone out I would do it, make it a lesson about victim-blaming (also the misogyny in some runs). Like isn't it nice to imagine? I think it's deeply funny, and I understand some people get upset about it because like they feel canon is more interesting but, if it's in fanfic, I think it's hilarious. I think we should just submit characters who do stuff that piss us off to that actually, write things about them that would infuriate them. Oh Jason taunts and laughs about the possibility of Dick dying in Chemo ? Fuck you, now you're scared and on the run from your family because they're crime lord killers and killing is bad and you're a soft boy who drinks honey lavender lattes. tim victim-blames Robin? Bam, you have hero worship now. Batman is always the center of the narrative and comics and it's always about him to the point it's really annoying and downplays the potential of other characters? Say goodbye to your dialogue lines buddy, you get one hug at the end if i'm feeling generous. Nobody is free from the magic wand of doom and the power of "it would be so fucking funny". This power is driving me insane. Let it consume you in the name of catharsis.

[saxandviolins77]

Built for conquest, built to lead, built for the cause.

All Hail Megatron.

(Just me fucking around and trying to figure out a Megatron for my AU thing)