#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ifyourereadingthisblinktwice · 3 months

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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it

#i feel like it’s getting worse too #like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad #why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it #making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever #it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation #i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with #/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what #that action is #besides the two options i said before #or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week #problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule #i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat #so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes #i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory #of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3 #having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream #anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow #me rambling #i love being undiagnosed #but let’s be real #being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse #because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation #and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them #feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do #vent

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