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#but im not allowed to get passed it
knightelf · 21 days
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maybe i do need to go to therapy bc its probably not good that ive been living on autopilot and the last 7 years went by so fast but also bc i was deliberatly Wanting the time to go by to put as much space between me and the events of 2017-2020 as possible all while somewhat knowing my young adulthood was slipping me by and now both my teenage years and my early 20s are gone and i still feel like my 19th birthday was yesterday yeesh!!
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#i do feel like im out of time completely and its kind of.making me insane bc its not fair lol#life could be worse! but it couldve been a lot better too#like on one hand i think i had a normal reaction to exceptionally traumatic shit happening to me with no support system.#and everything that happened was caused by shit out of my control and i Know that bc i spent my teen years specifically working hard to Be#in control#like i did make the choice to give up sure. but that was when absolutely every effort had been exhausted#and theres only so much a human being can take especially when i was so young#but on the other hand!! even when i found a support system and things are better now than they were#i still feel like im trapped perpetually in this Waiting period#waiting for life to begin Waiting for an OPPORTUNITY to make my life begin already#and no effort on my part yields anything so i have no choice but to WAIT#but im TIRED. of waiting#im sick of seeing videos of people way younger than me making art ive always dreamed id have made by now#theres also this invisable wall i have always had built around me that is Impenetrable and i keep hitting it#and its gotta be me but it really feels like the universe has some unseeable chains on me which aounds so stupid#but im not allowed to get passed it#im way past the point of even being capable of showing the agony it causes me now like its just a dull joke#ANYWAY the fact ive typed all this makes me think ok. yeah maybe it is time to talk to someone LOL#carry on im fine this happens to me all the time. helps to get it written out at least
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littlelightfish · 5 months
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This half-foot. Dandan.
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Looks preety similar to this lady here (I'll put them together so you see):
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Half-lidded eyes, black hair&eyes, small eyebrows, curly hair... Dandan's skin is lighter probably because of low sun exposure (dungeon), and he has tons of freckles because he preety.
This two are clearly relatives if not siblings.
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Flertom is a mirror image of the lady up there. She got Chil's eyes. She even has almost the same haircut (a bit longer). She's clearly the mother. We've solved Chilchuck's wife mystery.
But this wasn't what I was going to say.
This implies that Wife and Dandan both knew Chilchuck since their childhood. Because there's no way that Chil was just friend of the sister. They're both close to the same age, and I'll say Dandan is a Younger sibiling (she gives big sis vibes, and he gives young bro vibes). So either she introduced him to her brother or he introduced him to his sister and they became best friends as kids.
Could you imagine how their relationship was after Chil's Wife left him?
He knows he has to say something, but he doesn't want to end his relationships. At the end he takes his sister's side. He distances a bit from Chilchuck, calling him an "aquitance" rather than a friend. It isn't that he hates him, is just that it's complicated. And they both know it. They're in good terms tho, they just aren't best friends anymore and they don't talk about it. Their worry is the guild, not their personal stuff.
That's why Dandan introduces Chilchuck to Laios. If they were in bad terms, he would've suggested any other half-foot. They both priorize the guild and general safety of their own race. That's why Dandan suggests Chil instead of a less experienced hafling. He cares about the union and respects Chil's time and experience in dungeons. They're on good terms, at least good enough. Summing up, I get the feeling Dandan doesn't particularly likes Chil after what happened with his sister, but he respects him at least.
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inkskinned · 2 years
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maybe i'm a bitch but if i hear you go out of your way to judge someone's weight, i immediately lose trust in you & will probably forever find you a little unbearable . yes also the little floating bar over my head will start reading [hostile]. this is natural and u caused it.
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kusanagihaku · 23 days
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niche content but tier list of ghouls as clinicians (any patient-facing healthcare role)
sorry yuri but you'd fail viva
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possamble · 3 months
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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mengyan · 6 months
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it’s rough out here…
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fizzytoo · 1 year
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"do you like it?" "darling, i love it."
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fatedroses · 4 hours
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Chance encounters in Costa del Sol.
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#meteor survivor#titus yae galvus#arrecina wir galvus#oc#tsukiko date#camilla lunae#imagine trying to get drinks at the bar only to look over and see your presumed dead great uncle/great nephew standing right next to you#meteor- five seconds away from a heart attack looking over at titus#that moment when youre the spitting image of your father and the warrior of light was *not* aware of that fact#the galvus' are not allowed to have normal vacations#or... well retirement in Titus' case#I am simply here to draw the unaccounted for garlean royals lmao#eventually i'll draw zenos' half sibling(s?) and varis' retainers annia and julia out of their armor#but for now you guys just get to see my silly bullshit of sixty something y/o titus deciding that with nerva gone he's just gonna retire#mans is done with it#im probably gonna end up writing him as the legatus of the 8th- and probably a machinist that eventually becomes a gunbreaker#after lucius passes this man is over all of it#no nonsense machine commanding leader ect ect.#probably dual wielding the gunblade with an actual gun tbh lol#old man doesnt look like wrinkly solus because he spent his life taking care of himself to deal with just... the galvus family in general#dont let the strands deceive you all his grey hair is hidden under the rest of it all lmao#the galvus family brain rot continues and its not going to let me go v-v#(also dont mind meteor teasing tsu for hiding in his shade she does this a lot)
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songofsaraneth · 1 month
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the main side effect ive had since my food poisoning a week ago is gastroperesis, which is like a short term/temp semi paralysis of the stomach muscles that push food forward into the intestines. and it is SOOOOOOOO annoying. like mentally and in my tastebuds i am so hungry and want to eat 10000 things but in my stomach i eat like a small bowl of applesauce and then. cannot eat anything else for 4-8 hours bc it makes me Uncomfortably Full and if i overdo it i throw up bc my stomach simply won't digest/make room for anything more. but its FINALLY been improving in the last 2 days and i think i can make the freezer pizza i got on sale and have been craving since sunday and eat at least 3 pieces before i want to die again and by god im going to do it
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puppyeared · 6 months
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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puhpandas · 8 months
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if we ever got 3 star fam redesigns (not remodels) and they had new outfits and maybe new hair and additions that tell a story through things like their wardrobe and freddys makeup is completely gone and he has no bowtie and tophat but still his earring...
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kaidabakugou · 7 months
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the new girl at one of my favorite bakeries called me pretty this morning and it literally melted all my stress away 🥺
#kai.rambles#i was feeling sad bc my grandma is in the hospital and when i went to visit her they wouldn’t let me pass bc my license is expired#which okay ik that’s my fault but i took my passport with me just in case and the guy straight up told me that it wasn’t a valid form of id#and im like yeah tf it is ITS A PASSPORT and he said no#and while i was waiting for my mom to come down to the lobby an old lady came in and he turned her away for the same thing#and dudeee okay you turn me away fine fuck off but an old ladyyy??? at that age they don’t pay attention to that just let her pass#and then he argued with another woman bc she brought a flower arrangement and it had water so he couldn’t allow it HELLOOO??!?#so i had to leave and went to go get breakfast for my mom at least bc she stayed the night and i was supposed to stay the day#and when i came back to give her the food she told me that the nurse that was with my grandma asked what happened bc she wasn’t expecting#my mom to return and when my mom told her she immediately got so angry bc that same guy#didn’t allow her and a couple other nurses to bring in a cake for one of the residents#who’s birthday is today and they had a full on argument this morning#so it was all in all awful and now my mom has been there for more than 20 hours until later tonight when my aunt goes over :(#anyway this turned into a whole rant im sorry but im so mad bc i know for a FACT that a passport is a valid form of id#and he was just being a fkn dick#but the girl called me pretty and it took some stress off and she really liked my blush#and i liked hers so we had a little makeup 101 exchange and it was so nice at least 🥺#and i have a couple cute asks to answer that have made my day as well so i’ll get to those in a few 🥰
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footlongdingledong · 3 months
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undertale au comic dubs really do hit different after learning homestuck lore and also after like five or six years. those timelines do be alternate tho
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trashshouldnt · 29 days
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oh no being awake late is making me Incredibly Sad [just saw friend from old school online and now she's thinking about what she lost]
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ad-hawkeye · 6 months
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dom daddy artem is so mid in a funny way because it requires you to actively ignore all the times themis/his cards have made it clear that he would not act like that in favor of two mid cards that feel like the writers going “here damn since you won’t stop asking”instead of “guys look he always had this side to him^^”
HELP. LITERALLY. i know i have said this before, but like. if i wanted a daddy dom otome boy i'd go play literally any other otome game.
like wow... you think the serious attorney guy who wears a suit all the time is a daddy dom?
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daddy dom is one of those terms im taking away from fandom and putting on the shelf. yandere too. they're both getting tucked away until people actually apply them to characters properly
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carrieway · 1 month
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my new room was painted
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