#so she sees yuri as a far better person than she is because she still manages to care and be passionate abt things

[arolesbianism]

Thinks abt my lob corp nuggets oh so hard. I may only have second hand half remembered knowledge of project moon worldbuilding but I will still forever obsess over my lil guys who suck absolute ass

[skzhua]

Episode one.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader

genre: Fluff, angst, enemies-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 2k

warnings: Mention of deceased parents.

summary: Transferring to KISS was the last thing you had asked for and, yet, a certain tall boy made it seem both worse and better than you expected.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

(let me know by filling the form in my bio if you want to be added to the taglist!)

"Yuri is coming later if you want to meet with her."

You smiled politely to Jina. "Thank you, I'll let her know I've arrived."

"Welcome to the school. I hope you'll have a great experience with us."

You bowed and left her office. Orientation day was supposed to help you discover the campus, broaden your social circle and make you believe you chose the right path. In your opinion, all it did was put more stress onto you as you went on to get your school schedule. It was flooded with tons of classes you didn't even know existed. The only good thing you got from it was that there was going to be a welcome party at the end of the day. You hoped there was going to be free food.

"Hey, do you know where I can find the cafeteria?" you asked the first person you saw as you walked around campus.

The man turned around and removed his sunglasses in a smooth motion. Although you couldn't deny he had the looks of a prince, you would recognize that smug look as the typical face a fuckboy would make.

"Wow, I've got two stalkers today so far."

"Stalkers?"

His eyebrow raised. "Why else would you be speaking to me?"

You rolled your eyes. "Because I literally am lost and need to find my way to the cafeteria."

"Sorry, little lost puppy. I have other things to tend to."

He left without bothering to let you respond and put his sunglasses back on as he nodded his head towards a girl walking nearby. You already hated having tranferred here.

You weren't initially going to KISS but your uncle had a job there and managed to get you a scholarship. The only condition for you to stay was that you had to keep your grades up. With your uncle being one of the professors and your aunt as the vice-principal, they were close to the Han family. Meaning you were somewhat close to Yuri.

You ended up going outside to take some fresh air. Visiting the common areas could wait. Plus, you needed a break from it. You sat on a bench and looked at your schedule again. The simple sight of the word Chemistry written was enough to make you want to barf.

Some time after, a much recognizable car pulled over in front of the school. You knew immediately who it was.

"Y/N!" she waved at you as she stepped out of the car, a foreign-looking girl standing next to her.

You stood up from your bench and walked towards her as a forced smile spread on your lips. "Yuri, good to see you."

"Same with you. I'm glad we finally go to the same school. I can show you around if you want."

You shook your head. "Thank you but I already explored today." You, then, finally turned your attention to the girl who was still standing awkwardly next to Yuri, visibly not understanding Korean. "I'm Park Y/N."

"Katherine Song Covey but you can call me Kitty."

You were taken aback from the enthusiasm in her tone but smiled kindly nonetheless. "Pretty nickname. I'll see you two around."

Yuri smiled at you. "See you around, Y/N." She then turned to Kitty. "And good luck with everything."

You left the girls and headed towards the entrance of the school. To your great luck, you almost bumped into Q. He was one of the few people who had actually been nice to you during your visit in the morning.

"Sorry, I didn't see you."

He chuckled. "It's all good, no harm done."

"Are you busy? I was trying to find the cafeteria and the first person I asked for help was being an ass."

"Sure, this way." he said, putting his hand on your back to lead you inside.

He walked you to the main common areas and then showed you where you could get your documents for the dormitory you were going to stay in. He seemingly had other things to do so you didn't hold him back and told him you'd be fine on your own.

"I'll add you on Kakaotalk if you need anything."

You exhanged your contacts and waved him goodbye before lining up to get your documents. The girl in front of you seemed familiar to you from the back. You hesitantly tapped on her shoulder and she turned around immediately. As soon as she saw you, she smiled widely.

"Y/N, right?"

"Yes, and Kitty?" you asked and she nodded. "You're staying in a dorm too?"

"I kind of have no other choice. I don't have any family here, everyone's in Portland."

"Ah." you said as realization hit. "You're American? I should've guessed by how energetic you are." you chuckled but her face fell for a second. "I meant it as a compliment, don't worry."

"I guess I do have a lot of energy. Honestly, I just can't wait to see my boyfriend. I'm surprising him, he has no idea I transferred here."

Your eyes went wide open. "Wow, you two must be serious for you to do such a thing."

"We've been in a long-distance relationship for years, it is serious." she squealed.

Your turn came to get your forms and, funny enough, yours were put together with Kitty's. You stuck with her to fill it in and she asked you a few times about some of the things she had to write down.

"Jina!" you heard from afar.

You shot your head up and exchanged glances with the principal. She nodded her head at you in acknowledgement before going back to her conversation with whoever she was speaking to.

"Why does this name seem so familiar?" Kitty mumbled to herself.

"Maybe because she is the head of the school." you replied with a shrug.

"No, wait."

She pulled out some sort of book out of her bag and flipped the pages. She stopped and showed you a picture. It was of young Jina with another young woman.

"How do you have this?"

"This is my mom's. She used to study here and I'm guessing she was close friends with the principal."

She hopped out of her seat and went to talk with her. It was very brief as she came back to you not even a minute later.

"She acted as if she didn't know my mom..."

"Weird."

"Yeah."

The both of you finalized the forms snd gave it back to the lady at the front table. She gave you your keys and you were surprised to learn you'd be rooming together which would explain why your files were with one another.

The dorm was cute and simple. You found the kitchen rather big and the living space was wide enough for approximately ten people. You and Kitty picked a room to share where there was another bed that already had bags on it. You assumed your other roommates must have dropped their things earlier.

"I have a call with my dad if you don't mind." Kitty informed you whille you were both testing out your new beds.

Out of respect, you left the room and sat down on the couch. The softness almost made you want to drop asleep but your phone ringing told you that it wouldn't be in your plans for now.

"Hello?" you answered the call.

"Hi, Y/N dear. I was just checking on you if everything was to your liking. I know the offer was a bit last minute so it must be hard for you to adapt."

"I know, I'm just worried."

You sighed loudly at your aunt. "Give me a week or so before asking me how I'm doing. I've barely stepped foot on campus."

You were very grateful to her. She was your father's younger sister and had to take you under her wing after your parents passed when you were a child. It had been hard but she loved you so much, same for you with her.

"If I have any issue, I'll let you know. You're the vice-principal after all."

She chuckled. "I'll see you tonight at the welcome party."

"See you then!"

You woke up to a frantic Kitty getting ready. You hadn't realized you fell asleep while chatting and as you checked the time, you understood why she was rushing to do her makeup.

"Can I help you with that?" you laughed.

She gave you a pleading look. "Please? My sisters usually help me but I can't do a good fancy makeup look."

You took her brush and applied the eyeshadows on her eyes. After doing her eyeliner and mascara, you went to your own makeup bag to pull out one of your lipsticks.

"There." you said as you finished her look. "All done."

"Thank you so much, you're a lifesaver."

"No problem." you smiled and went back to your bed to unpack your things.

"Are you coming tonight?"

"Later, I don't like parties that much other than for the free food."

She laughed at your words. "I'll wait for you!"

As she closed the door behind her to let you changed, you started to get ready yourself. You picked a simple short dress and put your hair is a messy but put-together ponytail. You went for a shimmery makeup look and finished it all with some gloss on your lips.

Satisfied with your appearance, you left to join the party. Kitty ended up leaving a bit before you so you easily spotted her when you got there. She had found Q as a friend to keep her company. You were about to join them until you exchanged glances with the other person who was with them. Nonetheless, you made your way to the group and greeted Q kindly.

"I see that you two met." you commented.

"Not exactly." Q chuckled. "You look good, Y/N."

You returned the compliment and the guy next to him gasped as realization hit him.

"Ah, wait." he spoke and pointed at you. "I knew I saw you somewhere. You're Park Y/N."

The tone of his voice didn't seem like he was pleased with knowing who you were. It wasn't like you didn't feel the same as him.

"Am I supposed to know who you are?" you snapped back.

"I thought my stalker would at least know my name."

"Look at our boy." Q interrupted the conversation and nudged the guy.

His eyes grew bigger. "Where did Dae get that suit?"

"Yo, Dae!" Q called out which caught his attention.

The instant his eyes landed on Kitty, he grinned like a child and ran to her while she headed his way. You watched them reunite from afar only to be interrupted by a loud scoff.

"What is it with you?"

He gestured the couple as if the cause of his discouragement was obvious. "This isn't going to last."

"How is it any of your business?"

He sighed and shook his head as to shrug it off. You weren't worth wasting his time and you were more than happy to not care. Your eyes moved back to the pair only for it to have turned into a trio. Yuri held onto Dae's arm firmly and Kitty was at loss for words. It took her no time to run outside of the room as you saw sadness spread all over her face. Yuri held Dae back from going after her which seemed to have cause some sort of argument between them. You were rather confused on what was going on and, before you knew it, you were walking towards Yuri.

"You really had to cause a fuss not even on our first day of school?"

She straightened her posture and smiled. "You know me. Y/N, this is Dae, my boyfriend."

You bowed at him. "I remember you."

"I remember you, too. I think my father drove you around with Yuri a few times." he said and you nodded in confirmation. "You were with Kitty, right?"

Yuri nudged his side to shut him up and you frowned. "What kind of plan did you come up with now?"

taglist: @nanaspalette | @schniti-is-in-the-house

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[sapphicwhimsy]

heres my gift for @kerrosin as part of @mcyt-summer-of-yuri! i hope you like it!! take my heart, pull it apart on ao3!

"Congrats on getting together," Cleo says, and decidedly does not add the 'finally' she wants to. She watches Gem press herself as close as possible to Pearl, curled up in her lap, and Pearl trills softly, in a way that isn't quite human. No doubt something Pearl didn't expect Cleo to hear, but Cleo knows better than to make any comments on it. She just watches the happy couple, pressed as close together as could be.

She's happy for them, really. Truly. She's happy enough for them to know better about teasing something that's so obviously new and tender for the both of them, where they're both so clingy and desperate to be together. Not that it's truly anything new for the two of them to be pressed to each other's side, but it's completely different to have Gem in Pearl's lap of all places, head pressed firmly under her chin, as close together as they could physically be.

It's cute, in an almost sickening kind of way.

Pearl's cheeks are decidedly not a human shade with the blue on her cheeks, arms wrapped around Gem, but Cleo knows better than to mention that either, especially not with the way she ducks her head down and buries her face into Gem's hair. Gem's pointed ear twitches, a more human shade of pink staining the tip with her blush, and she looks to Cleo, smile sheepish but unabashedly so very happy.

"Thank you," Gem says, earnest in her reply. They both look so happy, and Cleo couldn't be happier for them. Even still, Gem looks sheepish, chewing on her bottom lip. "You're actually only the second person we've told."

"Really now?"

"Aside from Impulse, you're the only one who knows."

"I'm flattered. But I have to ask... Why me?"

Pearl is the one to look at them then, bottom lip worried between her teeth. She looks nervous, fingers twisting around each other and picking at her nail beds, and Cleo can see the hesitation. Fear momentarily strikes into their heart, a conversation already playing at their mind, and the words come out before she's truly realizing she's speaking them.

"If you're here for advice, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong person." The tone is maybe a bit harsh, because Pearl throws her hands up, letting go of Gem for the brief moment. She waves them about, as if to clear the words from the air.

"No! No, we..." Pearl swallows, and their eyes meet. An unnatural shade of blue stares back at her, a different shade than the blue on Pearl's cheeks, but the comments about it stays locked behind her lips. They know what it's like to not be human, though they've never truly tried to pretend like Pearl, and know the fact that she's showing any of these weaknesses around her means she's at ease. Finally, Pearl seems to find the words she wants, because she rubs a hand across her face. "I just thought, after Christmas..."

Christmas. Her present, Pearl all dolled up to look like her. Horns at the ready, phrases prerecorded. They'd spent the whole day together, nothing but laughter and giggles, hours by each other's side. Pearl's makeup had seemed impeccable, perfect. They looked exactly alike, not a difference to be seen between them besides the name tag above Pearl's head displaying who she truly was, if anyone was to take a glance at it...

And then after all day, she'd asked how. How did Pearl look exactly like her? How had she kept this up all day? No makeup had been smeared, not a slip that showed who she was behind it all. It was like she'd had a clone next to her side, a perfect replica, and they wanted to know. It hadn't been meaning to pry. Not really. It was just a question about how she'd done her makeup so flawlessly.

There had been a moment of fear. Worry. It wore on the copy of her face in an unnatural way, before Pearl had confided in her. Trusted her with something she'd only told Impulse and Gem so far. That she wasn't normal, and that singular word had sent an arrow straight to Cleo's heart like nothing else ever would have. They knew all about not being normal.

Pearl wasn't normal, because she wasn't human. The words all came out in a rush, because she trusted Cleo. She shared her secret, words heavy in the night air between them, confiding that her flawless makeup had been a disguise. Something that clung to her skin, like the one she wore every day. She was scared to let anyone know, kept the secret close to her chest, and...

And oh, Cleo had assured her it was alright. That she knew about not being what everyone else saw as normal, that she understood what it felt like, at least in a way, because she didn't love the same as everyone else. Not romantically. She never would, understood how it felt to not quite feel like you fit in...

Pearl trusts her. Fully, and completely. This is something new for Gem and Pearl, something scary. Something they aren't ready to tell everyone about just yet, and. And they both trust her with it. Trust her to know.

"Thank you," Cleo eventually says, because the swell of emotion the realization brought up makes it hard to speak. The blush makes sense now. She trusts them. Cleo tries to not let that twist any feelings in her heart, though it's already too late for that. They clear their throat, and glance away, because it's easier than anything else.

They aren't known for being soft, aren't known to be the one everyone would go to first for things like this. They aren't a kind and gentle being in any sense. They're sharp barbs and easy digs, and maybe a little dirty with their jokes. She isn't soft or sweet, or endlessly kind and caring. But they both still trust her, with their newest secret.

It's almost nice. To be so completely and entirely trusted with something like this.

But it is, in it's own flavor, overwhelming. She looks back at them, at the way the two are watching her, and clears her throat.

"How about a castle tour, while you're here? I've done some work since the last time anyone was around."

"Sure!" Gem agrees, without missing a beat. She can seek the change of topic, the necessity for it, and hops off Pearl's lap easily. She only waits for a moment for Pearl to stand before she's taking her hand, their fingers twisting together, though Cleo pays it little mind. They're happy, and she's happy for them.

"Great!" Cleo stands as well, clapping her hands together. She gives them a moment to press a quick kiss to each other's lips, and with it, the urge to tease is too great. She won't let them go the entire day without a few jokes at their expense, after all. "While we're at it, how about you tell me why you both took so long to confess?"

And the flustered sputtering she gets in response is well worth it all.

[lesbianjobutupaki]

Art practice by trying some other artist's styles that I'm a huge fan of!

From Top Left to Bottom Right:

@ghostishere0 - the original reason I started this doodle, as I wanted to draw a "shepherd lovers squad" and their OC (who I don't know the name of F) was the perfect fit for it.

@luminesparkz - the best interpretation of Pom pikmin. If I were Mr. Nitendo, I would make them the official comic creator along with the manga comics.

@marblyso - If I was a little more unhinged and made a shrine to Erma Shepherd, it would be mostly marblyso's art of her, it's my absolute favorite Erma depiction <3

@rexscanonwife - another OC that I don't know the name of, but she makes such a cute pair with Shepherd and has such cute art that why not, let Shepherd have multiple canon wives at this point.

@citruscrisp - I think this is secretly Alph in an alternate universe where he makes comics about himself, because citrus has Alph's character SPOT ON, and also loves to put that boy in a situation (which I am happy for, I enjoy seeing that boy in a situation)

@daisythecomic - oooaaaaaaaaaa they look like little mice people they look so soft and sweet I love them so muuuuuuuuuccchhhhhhhhh

@louie-posting - I can't not include actual Louie Pikmin on this list.

@kiwilittle - the soft, the sweet, the one who makes the best family style art, really making me wish I was an inch tall so I could go to holidays with the olimar family, also their wife design is so cute that if Olimar didn't already get it I would shoot my shot for her m a a m

@pikbugz - really nails the soft aesthetic that makes pikmin such a calming series, and their coloring style is so soft and good that it gives me the ratatouille nostalgia flashback moment.

@splitster - more than just the wraith au guy, they are the one who makes incredible and funny comics; I've seen so many fics with the rescue corps where I can pick up that yes, this trait came from a splitster comic, and that's a GOOD thing. Made me actually LIKE Dingo, the nerve.

@diesaur - I can't do diesaur's incredible, unique art justice, they are amazing at using geometrics and have the best charlie (his little teefs...)

@solluxander - Cars, one of my favorite pikmin Ocs I've ever seen! Collin deserves a slightly unhinged sentient fluffball boyfriend, and I always love seeing the new ways Cars will interact with him.

@sillypikmin - all hail the best pikposter, who I'm still convinced is an actual leafling living on actual pnf-404, literally every time I have a bad day I look at drawings of Moss and feel better.

@eggpathy - thank goodness they came back to give us old man yaoi. I keep their drawing of olimar kissing the pikmin good night on my phone and look at it before I go to sleep and so far I have yet to have a single nightmare.

@the-knife-consumer - the only person I trust with Louittany, toxic yuri my beloved, I just adore their beasty brittany design so so much, I wish I could have a small brittany to live in my house...

anyway they have the best headcanons for our beloved blorbo hamster people

@natibranch - there's a voice line of Louie going "wa-ha!" in this really cute sing-song voice and every time I see any art by natibranch I hear that sound in my head as a little burst of serotonin, they just nail that exact feeling so so well.

@pikked-min - Another of my favorite Pikmin OCs, Yuva! A really interesting and unique character concept with a lot of thought put into the worldbuilding, followed by a strong unusual personality that had me looking at the pikmin world through a new perspective entirely. Please, someone, give them some sunglasses. Read the fic it's so good

@ssserf - artistic and deep while still somehow looking like official nintendo tm art, genuinely the best at the pikmin proportions, how could I resist trying my hand at the classic amazing beautiful Brittany Fruit Sweater moment, literally SO iconic

@kashi-pon - while I was working on the part of this that was just kashi's various highlife dresses there was a part of me that wanted to dedicate the rest of the space to paying homage to the joke comic of Louie lifting his skirt to show Olimar that he's wearing shorts, except this dress....well......

@diamondwerewolf - the reason we got louie in a little bunny outfit anyway, and thus why we got kashi's dress version. you single-handedly turned Louie into a tumblr sexyman, how could you

[amemenojaku]

Akyuu/Reimu for the ship ask, please

hi I um. turned this into akyuurei manifesto. sorry

How differently do they think of each other now compared to when they first met?

I just reread Memorizable Gensokyo and some of the FS chapters where they interact (+the bit at the end of SoPM) back-to-back and it feels like they’ve come to really respect each other. When they first met properly in MG Akyuu tried so hard to impress Reimu, who looked amused by Akyuu’s work but didn’t seem to take her very seriously… I suppose that’s partly because they were younger then. I like that small panel in MG where Reimu introduces herself and Akyuu’s like “:O!!!”… By the time we see them together again in FS, they talk as equals. Reimu acknowledges Akyuu’s authority (she’s still super blunt about the chronicles but that’s Reimu for you lol), and Akyuu trusts Reimu to get the work done when it’s needed. They know they can rely on each other. I’d even go as far as to say Reimu treats Akyuu with a bit more softness than she does a lot of characters… She worries about Akyuu walking all the way up to the shrine in a latter FS chapter, she doesn’t chastise Akyuu for organizing the symposium in SoPM despite how pissed she is at the other participants (although I do think she was still hurt… more on that below), etc. As they are now they see each other as individuals more than roles I think, which is an important part of their dynamic (and also of Reimu pairings in general imo).

What do their friends/family think of their relationship?

They’d be the type to go in circles for a while before committing to something. Take their time with it. Past a certain point Marisa and Kosuzu start scheming to get them together (much to the concerned parties’ annoyance). When it finally happens they’d be teasing but supportive. I think the relationship would be kept secret for a time… Some people still manage to sniff it out though, Yukari for example; she’d be satisfied with it. Two people she has a weird close situationship with, together? That works. There might be some gossip about them… But if/when they make it official to everyone, I honestly think they’d be blessed by most of the village – it’s the Hakurei shrine maiden and the head of the Hieda clan after all! Might break a few nameless village women’s hearts though…

How do their personalities/skills complement or contrast with each other?

They have a ton of parallels (human but not quite; role directly tied to the survival of the world they live in; bridge between humans and youkai, etc) but also a few differences both symbolically (Akyuu doesn’t fly (she’s grounded to (a relative) reality), Reimu is literally the power to fly (transcends reality); Reimu is the “eternal shrine maiden”, Akyuu doesn’t live past 30 (but even that can be turned into a parallel with Akyuu’s reincarnations*), etc) and in terms of personality (Akyuu being calmer in general and displaying better social skills). Imo it’s one of the relationships with the most interesting balance between contrast and similarities… They’re the same girl but they’re also on two different sides of the same coin and the pining that comes out of it is SO good.

*if you look too hard into this like I do you’ll see the child of Miare’s reincarnation gimmick as a parallel to how it’s implied that the past Hakurei shrine maidens were replaced often (died quickly?)

What is their favorite aspect of each other?

In canon, I’d say it’s how reliable they find each other. They’ve worked together/consulted one another a few times in FS for matters related to the human village, and despite some differences in opinion they’re on the same wavelength on a lot of issues. Now, with my yuri goggles on…. I think it’d be really sweet if they could make each other feel normal. If their similarities brought them together on a level different from their other friendships, where they can understand the weight of each other’s role and that whole “human but not quite” thing they share, and be able to completely treat each other as ordinary. I really really like it when a character with a lot of obligations gets to just be themselves, and I also love it when two characters who’re both special or generally “apart” from everyone else grow close thanks to that, so I’m just mashing things I enjoy lol

Do either of them have pet peeves about each other?

I like to think Akyuu has a healthy lifestyle and her days go like clockwork (except when she’s close to a writing deadline), so she’d probably find some of the situations Reimu ends up in very frustrating. I think that fits well with the fact that Akyuu doesn’t always realize how high her quality of life is and can sometimes act a bit inconsiderate towards people who aren’t as rich as her. Meanwhile Reimu’s a very honest, very blunt person who struggles with keeping secrets for long (see Forbidden Scrollery’s ending), so she probably wouldn’t like some of the secrets Akyuu keeps at times. But Akyuu’s an important figure to the human villagers and she does take her role as a chronicler seriously, so there must be moments she has to prioritize her obligations over honesty. I think that kind of contrast is very interesting.

How would each reconcile with each other after a fight?

They’re both stubborn… But I see Reimu as the first to try to reconcile most of the time. Her soft spot for Akyuu would take over her natural pride imo. So she makes the first move. Akyuu takes longer, but her apologies are sincere.

Buuut there’s one time I can imagine Reimu completely withdrawing into her shell and refusing to even acknowledge that she’s really upset at Akyuu until confronted about it: SoPM. I won’t ever be able to explain it better than que-de-metal did right here so I recommend reading it!!

What would be their ideal vacation getaway together?

Hot spring resort. Quiet, relaxing and good for Akyuu’s health! And plenty of time for Reimu to laze around and read mystery novels. (I’m projecting… I miss onsens…….)

Think of a new way (AU, different situation, etc.) they could have met for the first time.

I’m honestly a bit upset that Memorizable Gensokyo is when they first met proper, even though there’s no way the Hieda family isn’t regularly in contact with the Hakurei shrine maiden. I think it’d be cute if they met when they were both kids and Reimu was in training with her predecessor and they were both called at the Hieda mansion for something. Extra points if Akyuu was intrigued by Reimu’s natural powers and that’s where her desire to impress her in MG comes from, and if Reimu barely remembers that meeting (like with Alice in PCB).

[elderflowergin]

why atty jung woo-jin is so important to me (alt title: why I hope the titular good partner includes jung woo-jin too, alt title @haraxvati apologies for workplace romance talk)

If you were in fandom spaces during Sherlock, you know that people went crazy for the deductions, for how they were delivered by Sherlock on the show. Who is a terrible person to most of the people around him! The surface admiration fans feel is for the way he works and not what he does for his friends (we’re talking normal human reciprocity and not lifesaving sorts of things).

So little of romance is devoted to the opposite - women who are good at tough, unsympathetic jobs and are unapologetic about it. If you were ever a woman in law enforcement, litigation or any other job coded to be aggressive or dominant, you’d find no shortage of gatekeeping men telling you how to do your job right, and there is no pleasing anyone in this.

How to speak, how to lower your pitch, what to wear, what NOT to wear, what sort of concessions you should give to the boys in club if you want to be in the club, what sort NOT to give so you don’t look like a chump. Maybe it’s better now than it used to be. Maybe some spaces are better than others. But the outcome was the same - you never win, and someone always shifts the goalposts when you’re done. You’re too sexy, you’re not sexy enough, your voice is annoying, you’re mousy, you’re loud, you’re fancy, you’re too articulate, you’re no fun, you’re a little too much and God forbid you get angry, because no one likes an angry woman.

We don’t see this sort of criticism on the show, because Cha Eun-gyeong is successful, but it’s never far from the minds of small men, be it her boss or the lawyer her husband seeks out. And we don’t have to see more of it - her husband, who by all rights should be proud of her achievements and hard-earned reputation, weaponises her work as the reason she is no longer a mother or a woman in his eyes. Who needs to hear from a shitty colleague when the call’s coming from inside the house? He hates her success, he hates that he owes his own success to her in part at least. It’s no surprise that his girlfriend is not a fellow doctor or someone from an allied or parallel position to him - she is in an admin position subordinate to Eun-gyeong. I don’t say this to denigrate admin positions, but to point out the predictability of men like him, whose anger at not being the centre of a woman’s universe is never far from the surface.

But then there’s Jung Woo-jin, who admires Atty Cha because of all the traits that make her a good lawyer. He points out to Han Yuri that she started out doing a tough job in a time few women took it on, that she took risks and was courageous in her representation of her clients. He admires her and yes, he loves her all the more for it.

If you’re asking me why it matters what a man feels about Atty Cha’s job, frankly I don’t think it does! She’s the fulcrum of her own universe. She’s never needed anyone’s approval to do what she felt was right. But I think it bears pointing out that this is a lonely job. Clients need to be handled and protected, opposing counsel are to be suspected, and judges are to be feared. There’s at least three fronts of conflict, and here is Cha Eun-gyeong, handling it all with infinite grace. And it’s great that she can do it all, but it’d also be great if the narrative could be different, for once; if she could have friends, even lovers, potentially, who love her for all of who she is, and not just the pieces of her that are useful. It’s a fantasy, yes, but a type so specific and so underserved that it had to have been written by a woman in corporate, if not a woman in litigation.

Cha Eun-gyeong is a very good lawyer, a woman who at partner level is still working her ass off to stay at the top, and Jung Woo-jin sees that; he sees HER, and the things that make her a good lawyer are indivisible from her as a person, because they are for Cha Eun-gyeong. Which is why his admiration for her is also indivisible from his love, and it’s also why he thinks nothing of it and Han Yuri catches on immediately. Because he can’t see it, but everyone else can.

But beyond that, for me it’s the moment he bodily puts himself between the CEO (yet another man waiting for her to fail) and Cha Eun-gyeong. I think it’s easy to convey admiration privately, because you don’t lose capital from that. It’s another thing to stand up for a colleague publicly. To your CEO no less, and in front of all your other colleagues, at a time of great personal crisis for Cha Eun-gyeong. (To your CEO who is also your father, no less!). It’s telling that this unassuming man who tends to smooth ruffled feathers does not appeal to his father-boss’s ego or supplicate to secure a temporary detente; what he makes is a threat that the words being uttered are defamatory, a polite suggestion that there will be consequences for careless words, and his father absolutely picks up on it. He may pay a price for it yet, going by the conversation he has later with his father.

I don’t know why this fantasy appeals more than the other, but I think it’s in the instinctive nature of it on both sides. It’s in the way Cha Eun-gyeong - who actively distances him from her feelings, who does not open up to him by design - allows him to act as her vanguard in a deeply vulnerable moment, which in itself is an entitlement she has. It’s food for thought, a glimpse into this bond that has outlasted her marriage.

[solokabuto]

So what are your Fate yuri rarepairs?

Thank you so much for asking!!! I treat fate women like immensely complicate barbie dolls i can roll around in my mind until they slot together in ways that make the deeply ill recovering catholic lesbian in me squeal so you may or may not notice some general themes, I’ll be including hcs and fic ideas in here because my brainrot is terrible rn so have fun with this:

Dobrynya Nikitich x Morgan Le Fay

Now this is largely due to the fact that i noticed similarities in them (white haired mothers that are more than they seem and definitely not who they seem with fucked up daughters that have pink hair and pent up rage) and admittedly I’m not in Tungsuka sanctuary so I don’t have a vantage point on Dobrynya’s personality like at all outside of adorable fanart but they seem like they’d be cute. They’re one of those couples that would largely only exist in au’s where Dobrynya runs the daycare that Morgan drops Baobhan at or something. And the entire story is just Baobhan being terrorized while Dobrynya and Morgan make out in the background.

Okita Souji x Nitocris

That moment when you (living vessel for your brother’s vengeance who immediately committed suicide upon fulfilling your goal due to perceiving the cold embrace of death as warmer than the cruel clutches of your fellow man) come across another girl (a hollow mockery of a human being born and bred to slaughter without a care who relates better to broken bones, sinew, and blood than she does to living beings and can kill her friends at a simple order)and link up (have intense homoerotic discussions about death dying and purpose) over tea and wine (cups of literal blood) and fuck nasty (memento memori style)

Olga Marie Animusphere x Ereshkigal

If you haven’t read Afterlife by nd7878 and you have any form of attachment to Olga or Ereshkigal or see the similarities between the two please read it, it’s amazing and I love it so much it fulfills my Olga Marie cravings very well. Anyways i think these two are cute, like super cute like insanely cute and I’d like to imagine Olga would bring out the more forward and irritable side of Ereshkigal and the two would clash in a way that’s still friendly. I dunno she’d make eresh more lively and make Olga feel more loved. I really love afterlife, please read it.

Jeanne D’ Arc x Barghest

I just think the idea of a woman who already sees herself as an offering, offering herself up to a worthy warrior who desperately wishes to stop destroying things she loves to be incredibly interesting. Especially because in my mind Jeanne would probably have little issue with letting Barghest eat her regularly as long as she recovers decently enough. They’re interesting i have fic ideas for them i think Jeanne would enjoy being devoured gruesomely. The knowledge of having a set place for your body to go rather than being burned and desecrated just to be tossed into the river and washed away. I am far too invested in Jeanne D’ Arc. A part of me thinks she would enjoy having something resembling a proper corpse since she was torched to ash and thrown into a river rather than properly being laid to rest. I have vivid images of their entire routine can you tell u have been plagued by yuri visions for far too long?

Baobhan Sith x Galatea

You know how popular girls in hs always have that one girl that isn’t popular or important or really much of anything to a majority of the student body that they don’t play about? Yeah that’s Galatea to her. They hit it off over sculpting because Baobhan has a general affinity for art that includes her love of fashion and eventually they become friends which is incredibly strange to Baobhan because she is deeply unused to being cared for and loved by anyone that isn’t her mother and even then the way she goes about it is very much not like her mother (it’s okay Morgan you tried sweetie). I just think it would be nice to see Galatea slowly help Baobhan build a healthy relationship with love, loving and being loved. They’d be cute. I also think Galatea would find having her blood sucked to be an interesting experience considering she probably finds the fact she has blood to be quite novel.

Merlin (Prototype) x Morgan Le Fay

With benefits. I don’t know what to call their relationship so they’re just with benefits. Morgan would just vent out her frustration on her while Merlin just takes it because why the hell not, being half-succubus has its perks. Additionally, she’d rely on Merlin to have a few moments of complete thoughtlessness and freedom from the stress and general fuckery of Faerie Britain by just allowing herself to fall for the effects of her beauty. Honestly it’s more so method of relaxation for Morgan then a genuine relationship but I think it’s interesting. They probably have insane conversations about the world that usually end in Morgan forcing her to shut up because she says something she doesn’t want to hear but isn’t untrue. Occasionally in moments of weakness Merlin will ask Morgan if she wants her to take her away to Avalon and leave this place for the faeries she hates so much, and Morgan will always refuse dispute herself.

[volterran-wine]

| 20 questions for fic writers

Thank you very much for tagging me @agirllovespancakes . And apologies for this being exceptionally late!

To not clutter everyone's feeds terribly I have put everything below the 'keep reading'. Do take a look if you want to read my ramblings as well as getting to know my brain a little more intimately.

I even discuss some of my other fandoms and expose myself as somewhat of a shipper.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

Currently I have nine works up on Archive of Our Own

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

37,793 words and counting, now my word count on this blog however... I dread thinking about it.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I have only ever written for Twilight, though I have outlines and ideas for other fandoms. Among others;

Hunger Games

Final Fantasy VII

Pokemon

Lord Of The Rings

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

The Hands of Time (98)

I Gave You My Heart (62)

Equinox (45)

Snowfall (39)

If These Walls Could Talk (34)

5. Do you respond to comments?

... I am absolutely atrocious at replying on AO3, while on tumblr I have been slightly better at keeping up with feedback. I greatly appreciate every comment however.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It has to be "Didyme's Demise". The short story details how she has faith in her dear brother, and does not even see her murder come.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

... I do not understand this concept. Though I guess "I Gave You My Heart" has a bittersweet ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I do not believe I have received direct hatred towards anything I have ever posted or written.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, though I have crossed more into the... emotional/romantic sphere than the hardcore smut genre.

10. Craziest crossover?

... No crossovers so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have experienced people pilfering my edits and graphics, but never any of my written work. That is something I am thankful for.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I am not against the practice as long as credit is given.

13. Have you co-written a fic before?

Never! Though I really wish to do a collaboration at some point. Though, a little thing I am finishing up has a lot of influence from a dear friend; with one of their own OC's making an appearance. A blending of verses if you may.

14. All time favorite ship?

I have never been a huge shipper within fandom spaces, nor do I have a one true pairing (do we still use OTP?) I will throw down over. Most of the time I find myself shipping characters with comfort, happiness and mental stability these days. Instead of one ship I will give a little list of ships I have read about the last decade and a half, exposing some of my previous and current fandoms...

Carlisle/Aro (Twilight)

Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Haruhi/Kyoya (OHSHC)

Rufus Shinra/Tseng (Final Fantasy VII)

Clarke Griffin/Lexa (The 100)

Yuri Katsuki/Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice)

Chise Hatori/Elias Ainsworth (The Ancient Magus' Bride)

Oikawa Toru/Happiness&Success (Haikyu!!)

Also, someone recently dragged me into JJK, and I think anyone in the know understand why I cannot look away from the absolute tragedy that is Geto and Gojo, wether it be platonic or something more.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will

There is a work hidden in my vault that was begun while I was friends with someone. Now, this friendship has since turned sour, and because of that I do not know if it will see the light of day. It is Twilight related but it is centred around The Romanians.

16. What are your writing strengths?

The most common compliment I receive is "Beautiful", and seeing as though beauty is in the eye of the beholder I am inclined to say my strength is different for different people.

Personally I believe I have quite a good vocabulary, as well as being good with my metaphors.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fast paced action rarely works well with my borderline purple prose, which is why some of my works sometimes feel very different in my opinion. The New Moon rewrite has a lot more action instead of introspection and feelings, that is a challenge for me.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language

If you do decide to add dialogue in another language; confer with someone who speaks said language if you are able to. Or, at the very least, do a lot of research so it does not sound off or out of character. The few times I have used Greek I have asked people who are native speakers for help!

Personally I think it can add a nice touch as long as it is not overdone.

19. First fandom you wrote for

Twilight! While I have been a part of fandom spaces ever since I was 12/13 this is the first time I created any sort of content for others to enjoy.

20. Favorite fic you've written

Of the ones that have been finished and published it has to be "He Loves Power, A Terrible Love". That piece will forever have my heart, and whenever i feel discouraged about my writing I return to it. It reminds me that my writing is in fact not half bad. Though I do believe a fanfic in the works called "As Above, So Below" will knock it down from its throne.

That one will have people showing up outside my house with pitchforks.

No pressure tagging

Anyone who feels inclined to join in on the fun!

[demonicintegrity]

episode four was fun. I love these two story set ups to break up an episode focusing on one plot. It's a fun device.

I also love that even fun/more comedic episode have little details that can get to you.

Anya crying in her bed being one of them.

I felt for the poor girlie. Cuz nothing sucks more than trying your best to improve and still not making strides. Nothing sucks like not being enough even when you're truly trying your best. And Anya does try! And she has real passion for doing this for the mission! She's gotten tutored by Yuri, homework help with Loid and Yor, and genuinely tries to study now and again. She wants to succeed and she's not. And I truly think she was crying out of frustration, that kinda let down sucks at any age, imagine being like four or five and feeling the weight of world peace at the same time. Girlie has stress.

And @piracytheorist had a good point as well, Anya doesn't want to be separated from Becky. And considering the thought was enough to make her cry in front of Damien earlier, that probably was why she was so upset. Anya was taking the fact that she was the bottom of the class in stride for a while, but being hit with the fact that now it has upsetting consequences she can better grasp has got to hurt. Like mentioned by piracytheorist, Becky is the only one in her corner when it comes to being bullied. And as I've mentioned before, Becky is truly the only one giving Anya a chance to be a child with no world peace nonsense attached. Loid's not doing it intentionally, but Anya does a lot for the mission. But with Becky it's just to be a kid/just to have friends. Like wanting to understand shipping and romance in the beginning of the episode.

(Side tangent, I think Anya and Yor truly are the neurodivergent representation that hits home. Anya insistent about being friends with her bullies as well as struggling with school despite best efforts, and Yor not grasping the social cues and the office and celebrating when she is being normal.)

Speaking of Yor, absolutely adored her wanting to help Frankie during her lunch break. I love having Yor's genuine love for being helpful and doing good hammered home. I also think Frankie is insane for just mentioning all of his inventions so casually to a civilian. Also having those cat decoys just out. How is the secret police not notice and flag that shit omg.

That being said, Frankie so insistent on pursuing various ladies hes interested in despite being a spy is such an interesting contrast to Twilight. Potentially to the point of being a foil even. Twilight is not doing this because he's interested in Yor or so he says. In fact, he's pretty staunchly done things only for the mission practically ever. That's what he's devoted to above all. In his intro back in s1 we see him easily toss relationships for the mission aside afterwards. Because he's not personally invested and doesn't seem to allow himself to be very often. He even tells Nightfall explicitly that personal feelings aren't to get in the way of the job.

And yet we have Frankie. Who's fairly committed to dedicating time and even company resources to ladies because he genuinely fancies them. And I think that's part of what makes Frankie such an interesting character to put again Twilight. Where Twilight is so for the mission 100% of the time, he doesn't allow himself the connections that makes doing these things worth it. Humans are social creatures, we're meant to have close friends and even partners if that's what interests you.

Twilight does do this for people. But for the betterment of countries and to make kids happy isn't very tangible. That's why you have real people you're connected to in mind. Nightfall, Yor, and Yuri all do and that's what drives a passion. I think Frankie does pick up these connection through romance. Which is exceptional given that his presence is not permanent. He and Twilight very well could be meant to move far away once Operation Strix is done, and he couldn't bring any date along most likely. And he's not dumb, he probably knows this very well.

But allows that time and passion anyways because connections are important. Plus, it's good to have a social life outside of work.

Just the way characters value others has been interesting to me. And I think it's crucial to story as well. The horrors of war are in many many episodes, but despite that there is still love for each other. And that's what drives the desire from the main cast to do what they do in the name of protecting each other.

[thefloatingstone]

How do I give my anime designs more character? I don’t want them to look bland, especially not the girls!

I had a whole different argument here and suddenly realised I was answering a question you didn't ask. I'm sick at the moment so my brain isn't working the best so forgive me if my answers seems a bit all over the place.

Most importantly, and something i think a LOT of modern anime does badly these days, is to not be afraid to PUSH the expressions of your anime girls.

if you'll forgive the mini-rant; modern anime has a really bad habit of not allowing female characters to have "ugly" expressions. Or when they do, they make them simplified emojis or make the one second of extreme emotion SO extreme it becomes completely off putting. Especially as there will be a tendency to only push an extreme expression in one single episode during a "dramatic scene".

This results in most girls in modern anime looking more like the limited expression range of a Vtuber than actual characters. There ARE exceptions, but this is a MASSIVE issue which was not the case in the 80s or 90s and only really started becoming more common around the mid 2000s.

Comparison examples! (you know I love those). I am using still images instead of gifs so the animation doesn't mask the drawing. But I'll show some animated gifs later in this ask

This extends beyond just facial expressions tho. Or rather... it doesn't.

Most modern anime shows will have the characters pull expressions in their face, but have their bodies relatively static, even in extreme emotions. If you compare the two screenshots above, the more modern example has a more extreme push to her eyes, but in the Dirty pair screenshot, not only is Kei's mouth open very wide, but her head is tilted backwards and to the side, her shoulders are drawn up, and she gives the impression even in a still image that she is in the middle of a physical reaction to something which annoyed her. Similarly, Yuri down there is also annoyed, and even though we only really see her eyes, you can tell she's hunched over and seething. In the modern anime screenshot she's just.... got the default "these are my angry eyes!" face with nothing really happening elsewhere.

Her shoulders I guess are kind of drawn up but so barely you wouldn't be blamed to think they always look like that.

And this comes to the second point.

DRAW FROM LIFE AND/OR PHOTOS.

There is NOTHING wrong using a pose doll to figure out a challenging pose. I have used pose dolls when I am unsure how a certain pose looks from a specific angle. But looking at real life, whether photos or if you can, life drawing, will be your biggest tool in figuring out how to breathe more life into your poses and art.

Now, to answer the ACTUAL question you asked about design;

I have to admit that character design is not a strength of mine. I have little to no practice with it myself and when I design OCs I end up not liking them or not enjoying their designs. I feel someone far more skilled at the design part of design might have better input, but I can tell you what I know just from observation;

The first BIG advice is; do not confuse interesting design with clutter.

This doesn't mean strip down your character design to look like a Y/N drawing, but more have every element you introduce into your design be there with some kind of thought in mind as to how it applies to the character and who they are as a person. This is a mistake I often see made with characters both OCs as well as professionally. Where character designers seem to think adding MORE to a design will make a character more interesting to look at. (PreCure has this problem a LOT)

Giving your character too many details without some kind of larger unification or idea, makes them harder to envision for people, because there's too much visual noise.

If I tell you to think of Link from Legend of Zelda, it doesn't matter WHICH Link you picture 9although at the moment it's most likely TotK or BotW Link), Link has unified design elements which means regardless of how detailed or cluttered his outfit becomes, we all know what Link looks like;

1: Blonde hair on the longer side usually, with fringe and side bangs 2: blue diamond shaped eyes, pointed ears, light skin 3: wears some variation of green. Can dress in other colours but Green is an identifying colour. Even in ToTK and BotW where he is most often shown in blue, Green is still the vast majority of the outfits and gear he will wear 4: boots and light coloured tights/pants 5: Twink

You don't need to look at a picture of Link to know this is what Link looks like. Other details like his earring, belts, gloves, bracers, undershirt etc are all there and enhance these elements and distinguish one Link from another exist, but they are not the unifying elements to Link's character design.

On top of this, all of Link's character design make SENSE for his character, what he does, where he comes from etc.

He is a Hylian so he has pointed ears and is generally elf-like in appearance. He spends most of his time in European forests so he dresses in green. When he wears other colours it usually corresponds to where he is currently traveling. He carries a sword and shield so he has a belt with scabbard. He carries an entire pantry worth of food with him, so he has various satchels and bags on his person (but not too many or the design becomes cluttered). He wears light protective gear to show he gets into fights but they are usually not heavy in nature because Link is nimble and relies heavily on movement.

This doesn't tell us anything about his personality because Link doesn't really have one, but it's a very strong character design all the same and informs us what kind of character he is and what sort of life he leads as well as what sort of background he might have (He is a skilled adventurer. Not a rich sheltered boy who has never been outside of a city before or something of the like).

Now I'm gonna compare him to the character design of a Mass Effect character which I don't THINK you'd have played since your profile says you're a teen and the game is rated M 👀 (or you might have, idk I'm not your mom) but ANYWAY! Looking at a character design which tells us about their PERSONALITY as well as way of living.

I'm not going to use any of the aliens as examples because then you have to bring in the subject of alien species into the equation and how they stand apart from the various other members of their species and etc etc. So we'll talk about a human character.

So... this is Jack

Although you may think her tattoos make her design cluttered, they don't because you don't really need to know what every individual tattoo looks like. You just know "Jack is covered in Tattoos".

So just looking at her, you can pretty much instantly pin down her personality. That being; she will most likely fucking stab you if you say one thing to annoy her.

She's like a punk on steroids. Shaved head, heavy make up, COVERED in tattoos, both ears capped in some futuristic piercings, some or other heavy duty uniform except she decided she'd rather walk around fucking topless and boots that could crush a man's skull.

Everything about her design screams "don't fuck with me I am VERY unhinged and will kill a man for less than the $4 in his pocket".

Jacks' entire personality is on display in her design. And the design as a whole present a single concept of who she is as a person, while ALSO tying into her backstory and lifestyle. (escaped prisoner from high security facility, still wearing the prison uniform, has been in an unknown number of gangs, has an extremely casual approach to sex and sexuality, uses her intimidation as a first line of defense to prevent people from getting close to her indicating a painful past)

And then you compare her to her design in the following game

This is a great design because it not only informs you on Jack's personality, but also her GROWTH AS A CHARACTER.

Her design is, at least compared to her first appearance, softer. She's grown her hair long enough to tie it into a ponytail, making her appear more feminine. But she still shaves the sides so you know she can still shank you if she wants.

Her outfit is still VERY revealing but she's also dressed borderline decently. She is not as defensive any more and could probably even walk around in normal society without getting a ticket (and then shooting the cop in response).

However even covered up, she's wearing a leather studded jacket, and she is still displaying her tattoos on her chest and hands proudly. She's still the same person... just less likely to murder you (although the option is still there if needed).

Now compare these character designs to some others which I would count as being "too busy" and tell me if these designs tell you ANYTHING about what kind of personalities these characters might have, what kind of lifestyle to they live, what do their environments and world looks like, or what it says about them

Fun fact; that last one is NOT a magical girl, but is in fact an alchemist who is living in a slowly dying world whose resources are being depleted and the future looks grim and hopeless as humanity tries to navigate this slow apocalypse.

I have no idea if any of that made sense or is useful in any way, but hopefully you get what I mean?

Look at real life. Don't rely on just referencing other anime and pose dolls. Don't clutter a character design with details that don't mean anything. make the parts of your character design you use have meaning or purpose. Even if that purpose is just "to give them a silhouette different to the other characters so she's easy to identify by sight"

[katyspersonal]

Trying to see something 🤔

I am trying to check something this ( x ) post suggested with the closest interest I hold, hollon

Alfred and Adella - Both are religious fanatics of their faction that murder a helpless woman for blood purity reasons. (Adella is slightly better because she at least gives Arianna "three strikes" chance lol)

Djura and Maria - Both are legendary Old Hunters (the Gehrman's hunters type) who abandoned the hunt going heart-broken over what they did and resigned to take care about some sort of damaged, mutated people beyond help. (Djura certainly takes it better than Maria, but still)

Narrow Minded Man and Lonely Old Woman - They are roughly similar type of lonely old Yharnamites full of snarkyness and resentment towards the hunters and foreigners in general that also (presumably) chug blood-based medicine abundantly; blood cocktails and sedatives respectively. (He is probably more rigid and dumb, bro doesn't even go insane after Bloodmoon, though)

Laurence and Emilia - High-ranking religious figures, heads of the setting's Church. Laurence sure did much more in his life, but for the gradually corrupting holy figure fix, they both work!

Micolash and Fauxsefka - This one is a bit hard since Micolash is 'evil' whereas Fauxsefka is stated to be heroic by frikin Miyazaki himself, but they're similarly the 'mad scientist' trope focused on cosmos and ascension and not shy of doing other people a "favour" of helping them to ascend too (I judge by Micolash having corpses with cages tied to the chairs even in the Nightmare). Honorable mention: Adeline being an absolute madwoman not scared of Deep Sea horrors unlike other patients but craving them. She would not sacrifice anyone but herself for her goals (as far as we know....), but they are both very "brave" in their own regard. They both just really want some eyes from Kos xd

Henryk and Eileen - Very aged, lonesome hunters that are familiar with Gascoigne and are a part of very small secret group of hunters that assasinates the less lucky ones over superstitious reasons (which also hold a merit in this setting). It was lost in translation, but Henryk is stated to have lived long because simply nothing was able to kill him, whereas Crowfeathr Garb started to symbolize Eileen specifically, implying she has been Hunter of Hunters longer than anyone else. So, they're both very badass... Oh, and they also both are throwing knives! Honorable mention: frequient similar appearance headcanons because of Eileen's English voice actress! @heraldofcrow Look at this shite they're like male and female version of the same character for reeeeeal AAAAA jhfdsjfhdss*sob*

Gascoigne and Henriett - Used to be Healing Church hunters who cut the ties with it, most likely because the Church started to slack on the hunt and they wanted to be helpful (notice Henriett's new clothes resembling Old Hunters' style).

Julie(Yurie) - Depending on the interpretation, she is either like Damian (a person that fell off from their respective faction) or like Edgar (a spy seeking Micolash and traces of his crimes, since Byrgenwerth, Lecture Hall and Nightmare of Mensis are basically different stops of the same bus lol)

Chapel Dweller and Arianna - A character with a Pthumerian heritage which regular people in Yharnam seem to not like and even item description say something shitty about them, yet the player can see with their own eyes they're very sweet people.

____________________

Okay so

1) Yeah, like I suspected, in many cases a trope or an archetype that male character has is shared by a female character very closely! The reason there is no parallel for everyone is because there are just less female characters, in amount!

2) I'd say that lessened investment in female characters that share a trope is to be blamed on these characters having less lore and dialogue..... if it was true, lol. ASS you can see, they tend to have the same amount of lore and potential; except for Henriett having 0 verbal or described lore compared to Gascoigne, and except for Henryk having no dialogue when Eileen has plenty. But even then first, Henryk being silent is his character, and second, I still see more stuff for Henryk in the fandom than for Eileen.

2.1) Micolash is, however, hard to replace if someone is looking for a combination of "madness" AND evil xd But normally people are invested in a way more sympathetic and humane portrayal of him, or the period in timeline when he used to be not so bad but just a weirdo nerd, so.....

3) Maria is somewhat an exception from 'less investment in female characters than male ones of the same archetype' rule... But at the same time, she is a "poster girl" (aka most creations for her are simply drawings celebrating her aesthetic (fair enough)), and explorations of her story and character often do not go any deeper than Mariadeline fluff and/or fandomry discourse over headcanons. Mathematically, Maria and Djura get the same 'weight' of investment!

Conclusion: Yeah, there are many times when there is no excuse for ignoring a female character, "they are not the right archetype" doesn't work in Soulsborne.. It is time for female blorbos rise

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #54

Journal Entry #53 // STORY INDEX

Victor

Hey, everyone.

I wanted to record something tonight to tell you that Yuri and I are okay. My last entry was kind of raw, and both of us were struggling really bad, so I figured it was only right to let you know that we came out the other side of that situation. Yuri fared worse than I did, but he's still here and that is what's important.

I'm gonna be honest, it's been a tough few days. Yuri stopped eating again, and I'm really worried he's going to end up back in the hospital if he doesn't get something more than water and soy milk into him soon. It's been doubly stressful because Fox somehow got the idea that it was his fault, and I've had to deal with that too.

The small bit of good news was that Fox understood when I explained to him that Yuri refusing to eat isn't a new thing, and it had nothing to do with him. He seemed reluctant to come back after that, though, and although I tried to encourage him to stick with us a bit longer, ultimately I told him it was fine if he didn't want to.

With one hand free, I'm able to cook, feed myself and do the majority of my own personal care, so I'm not dependent on someone else now. Yuri can at least get out of bed and take himself to the bathroom, so that's no longer an issue either. Some of the housecleaning is still a bit much for me to manage on my own, but I reasoned that the world wouldn't end if the laundry didn't get folded or the kitchen floor didn't get swept every day.

After talking it over, Fox agreed that he'd still come by every couple of days to help me do household chores, but he said he didn't want to look after Yuri any more. I wasn't happy about it, since I think Yuri still needs help maintaining his full personal care routine, but what could I do? I had to acknowledge what Fox wanted.

That might've been the end of the matter for me if Yuri hadn't acted so obviously relieved when he found out Fox wasn't going to be taking care of him any more. If I hadn’t known better, I might’ve thought something bad happened between them, but I knew Fox had been extremely careful. He never touched Yuri in any way without asking first, and he handled him like glass when he did. Sure, they’d had their disputes over food and eating, but Yuri is just as difficult at mealtimes with me and with his parents, so I didn’t see how that'd be any worse with Fox.

From what I observed, Fox had been giving maximum effort, and Yuri hadn't been making it easy for him. And yeah, I get that Yuri's in physical pain and that he's going through a lot psychologically, and I know that makes him frustrated and irritable, but I didn't think it was okay for him to take it out on Fox. I especially didn't think it was okay for him to play on Fox's insecurities. I mean, that poor guy hasn't had an easy life himself. He deserves to be built up instead of being torn down for a change.

Seriously, you guys have no idea how much I wanted to call Yuri out on that, right then and there. I'll concede that I let him get away with a lot, but I love him, and I've learned that love is just as much about helping your loved one learn and grow as it is about all the warm, fuzzy stuff. Sometimes growth is hard, and it might not feel like progress at all when you're going through it, but the end result is usually worth it.

My Grandpa Michael says love is like growing roses. You might not want to cut them back, but pruning them actually helps them get stronger. He says you've got to be careful, 'cause you also have to know when to prune them and how much to cut. And I mean, Grandpa Michael should know. He was married to my grandmother for over forty years, until she passed away, and you don't get that far without understanding what love is. Also, they grew the most gorgeous roses in Brindleton Bay together, and Grandpa Michael still tends them and refers to them as "Lydia's roses".

I haven't seen my grandfather or any of my relatives in Brindleton Bay for over two years, but I know I'll at least see Grandpa at Mom and Julian's wedding. I think he loves my mom as if she's his own daughter, and he stayed close with her and me after my dad and sister passed. At this point, none of us could imagine him not being a part of our lives and being there for all our major life events.

After the wedding, I might go back to the Bay with him for a visit. It'd be nice to spend some one-on-one time with him. We could geek out about sports, do all kinds of fancy cooking, and probably spend hours at the local fitness center. I'm sure there's a lot of maintenance work I could help him do around his place as well. Really, I just want to hang out with somebody who gets me on a fundamental level, and to take a break from all my regular responsibilities.

Oh, and maybe this is kinda off-topic, but in case you're curious, Grandpa Michael isn't my only surviving grandparent. My other set of grandparents, Isabella and Giancarlo DeLuca, are both alive and doing well. They moved back to Tartosa the summer Leo and I graduated from college, so about four years ago now. According to Nonna Isabella, they wanted to spend their golden years in the place where their lives began, which made a lot of sense to me. They immigrated a long time ago, and all their kids — my mom, Uncle Stephen and Uncle JP — were born in Canada, but although they built a life in Willow Creek and are naturalized Canadians now, I'm sure their hearts will always be Italian.

Ugh...yeah. Sorry for getting off-track there. I'm really tired, and I guess you guys have figured out by now that it's harder for me to concentrate and stay focused when I'm like this.

Anyway, back to what I was originally trying to tell you. You might be impressed to hear that I managed to hold back from lecturing Yuri about how he'd been treating Fox. If I'd confronted him about it right away, we would've ended up in an argument. I didn't think he could spare the energy to fight with me, and I can tell you that I certainly didn't have the wherewithal to argue with him. Since discretion is the better part of valour, as they say, I opted to wait for a more appropriate moment.

As it happened, however, my appropriate moment never came because his mother got to him before I did.

Mrs. Okamoto dropped in unexpectedly yesterday afternoon with some sort of soup she'd made for us, and the first thing she said after greeting me was, "Where's your friend? Is he upstairs with Yuri?"

"Um... no," I said, hesitant to tell her too much, but also not wanting to keep the truth from her. "Fox isn't here. He, um... the arrangement wasn't working out for him."

I should've known better than to hope my mother-in-law would let it go at that. "What do you mean, the arrangement wasn't working out? And didn't any of you think it would have been a good idea to tell me or Kenji that the situation had changed? It's not as if one of us hasn't been here with you every night."

"I thought Yuri was going to tell you," I said.

"Why would you think he'd take responsibility for telling us?"

"Uh... because... Like, I don't think Fox was comfortable, and Yuri wasn't very, um... diplomatic? He was sort of feeling like... uncharitable? But, I mean, if I realized he wasn't going to tell you, I would have. It was just—"

She must've noticed that I was getting flustered, because her demeanour softened a little. "No, it's all right," she said. "You're very responsible, and I know you would've told us if you didn't think we already knew."

"Sorry," I said. "I guess I should've told you anyway."

"Perhaps, but it doesn't matter now. At the moment, I'm less interested in who told me about it than I am in why it happened in the first place. Was there a problem?"

"Not from where I was standing," I said. "Fox was doing amazing, as far as I could see."

"Hmm..." was her response. "Well then, I suppose I'll have to ask Yuri about it, won't I?"

I can't say I was overjoyed when I imagined how that would go, and I questioned whether or not Yuri would even tell her the truth. I had a bad feeling he'd try to blame it on Fox when it was unequivocally not Fox's fault, and let me tell you, I definitely wouldn't have been pleased if he had done.

On the pretext of listening to an audiobook in my room, I followed my mother-in-law upstairs when she went up to talk to Yuri. I put my earbuds in, got my phone out of my pocket and laid down on my bed, but I'm sure you've probably already guessed that I didn't actually open up my audiobook app to play anything. As rude as it is to eavesdrop, I'm not even going to pretend I wasn't intending to do it. I totally was, because I wanted to see if Yuri would admit to his mother why he didn't want Fox here any more.

I eased one earbud out of my ear far enough so that it wasn't blocking sound but so it still looked like I was using it. Sneaky? Yes, but it was effective. I discovered that if I lay with my head facing the open door and didn't move around too much, I could hear most of what Yuri and his mother were saying.

They started with small talk, and I wondered if maybe she wasn't going to bring up the subject after all. But then she must've seen her opportunity when he asked her if she was planning to stay with us for the rest of the day and overnight.

I should explain, she and Mr. Okamoto have been taking turns spending the night with us since Mom and Julian and Uncle Kaz left, and they don't usually come until seven or eight in the evening. Fox would usually leave around five o'clock so he'd have time to help make dinner at home, which meant he rarely crossed paths with Yuri's parents.

"No," Mrs. Okamoto said, in response to Yuri's question. "I need to collect Yuki from school and drop her off at your grandmother's house, and then I've got to go back to the school for a parent-teacher conference. Your father's in Kyoto with Hana for a medical appointment today, but he'll be coming to stay with you when he gets back."

That was news. I didn't realize Hana was on speaking terms with her father, much less that she'd want him to accompany her to a doctor's appointment. Then again, Hana's getting really close to her due date, and maybe he insisted on going with her because he didn't want her driving. Whatever it was, I filed that bit of information away in my brain on the chance that it became relevant later.

"Oh. I was hoping it'd be you," Yuri was saying. "I wanted you to help me wash my hair. Papa always makes such a mess. He's not very good at cleaning up, and I don't want Victor to have to mop the floor. That's still too hard for him."

"I would've thought washing your hair was something your friend Fox could help you with," Mrs. Okamoto said, and the words rolled off her tongue as innocently as if she knew nothing whatsoever about Fox's sudden departure. "I'm surprised he's not here today."

"He's not coming back," Yuri said. "And he's not my friend."

"Oh?" Mrs. Okamoto contrived to sound suitably curious. "Why isn't he coming back?"

"Because Victor told him I didn't want him to."

That was a twist I hadn't seen coming. It was Fox's decision not to come back, and although It was fairly clear Yuri hadn't wanted him here and was glad to be rid of him, I hadn't expected him to tell his mother I’d said or done anything to facilitate it. He sounded so proud of it too, like he was boasting about how I'd saved him from some horrible fate. Not that I wouldn't have protected him if there really had been any risk, but that's not how it happened at all.

The way Yuri was recounting it to his mother was such a gross misrepresentation of the situation that it was all I could do to make myself stay in place and not run across the hall to interrupt. But then I remembered I'd already mentioned to Mrs. Okamoto that Fox hadn't been comfortable staying. She's a smart lady, and I admonished myself that I should trust her. She'd draw the correct inferences.

She didn't disappoint me. “Yuri, are you certain it was Victor who told him?”

“I wasn’t there when they talked," Yuri replied.

"So, you don't know that Victor asked him to leave."

"Yes I do, because Victor always makes sure I'm safe."

"I see," Mrs. Okamoto said. "So, am I to assume you were unsafe with that young man here?"

"Yes," he said.

"Did he physically hurt you, or touch you inappropriately?" she asked. "Was he unkind to you?"

There was a long silence, and it was killing me that I couldn’t see what was going on over there. Unless there was something Yuri hadn't revealed to me, the answer I was expecting to hear was 'no'.

After a minute, I caught a weak and tearful-sounding, "No, but..."

"But what?" Mrs. Okamoto prompted.

"He made me feel so awful," Yuri said. He sniffled loudly enough for me to hear it from my room, and I imagined him scrubbing tears away from his eyes with the heels of his palms, just like a toddler would do. Sometimes I find it cute when he does that, but in these circumstances? Not cute at all. "He said I need to try harder, and he wouldn't listen to me when I said I couldn't do things, and... and he was treating me like a child."

"Were you behaving like a child?"

"I don't do that."

"No stubbornness, then? No pouting or temper outbursts?"

"I don't—"

Mrs. Okamoto's next words weren't spoken in a mean way, but there was also no mistaking that she wasn't impressed with her son's attitude. "A little self-awareness wouldn't go amiss here, I think."

"Excuse me? Are you... are you implying I'm immature?" I could already hear the outrage starting to build in Yuri's voice, even though his tears. "You don't even—"

"Yuri," his mother cut him off. In the two simple syllables of his name, her tone conveyed everything; she wanted the truth and she was not having any of his nonsense today. I could easily picture her wielding that same authority in a business meeting when somebody was about to go off on a baseless rant about something. "Mature people don't throw tantrums or manipulate others as a means to an end. They communicate their needs and concerns clearly and honestly. Do you think you can do that?"

"So, you're going to treat me like a child too?"

"If you insist on behaving in that manner, yes," she said mildly. "You know what Papa says. People tend to address others according to the level of maturity they display."

Yuri made a sound of frustration. "If you aren't going to at least try to have some empathy, can you please leave? I don't need any more stress. Is that clear and honest enough?"

There was another pause, and then Mrs. Okamoto said, "I love you. From the moment I found out I was having you, I loved you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything else, and every time I think about you hurting in any way, it hurts me as well. But, I'm your mother. My purpose isn't only to love you. It's also to teach you."

"Teach me what? That I'm dishonest and immature and not self-aware enough?" "

"Yuri—"

"You might as well just say it. Is you goal to teach me I'm a terrible son and a useless failure as an adult? Then congratulations, I suppose, because you've absolutely done that."

"Okamoto Yuri, I did not come here to be disrespected by you," Mrs. Okamoto said, and no joke, I felt a little scared despite the fact that she wasn't talking to me and that I couldn't even see her.

Like, you know you've crossed a line when your mom starts using your whole name. Usually, my mom would be screaming it, often loud enough to be heard at Leo's house, four doors down the street from ours. Victor Thomas Edward Nelson, if you don't get your butt back here in five minutes, you're in big trouble!

It was the same with Aunt Millie. Leo said he knew he was gonna be toast when his mom started busting out "Leonardo Stephen DeLuca!" with enough volume to be heard from my backyard. We used to tell Ellie she didn't know how good she had it. None of us has ever heard Julian raise his voice for anything, let alone to shout Ellie's full name over half of Willow Creek.

But as much as I dislike it when my mom yells, I think if I had to pick, I'd rather have the yelling than the calm, firm voice Mrs. Okamoto was using on Yuri. It was like steel wrapped in velvet, and I'm pretty sure me and Leo would've been terrified if Mom or Aunt Millie had spoken to us like that when we were in trouble.

I half expected Yuri to apologize immediately. It's what I would've done. I probably would've been on the floor, bowing to her and addressing her as Okamoto-sama, and begging her to forgive me. We've been getting to know each other lately, and I feel like we’ve been warming to each other a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm not still afraid of her.

Yuri, apparently, did not share my sentiment.

I could tell he was still crying, but that didn't stop him from sounding as if he believed he had the stronger position. "Interesting, because I wouldn't have thought you'd come here to disrespect me in my own house."

I physically cringed at that, not just because Mrs. Okamoto's reaction was likely to be unpleasant, but also because I had no problem imagining a response with the exact same delivery coming out of Mr. Okamoto's mouth. For all Yuri's insistence that he's nothing like his dad, he kinda is, which maybe proves the theory of nature over nurture.

Part of me wanted to stop listening at that point, and I almost turned on my audiobook for real, but another part of me was drawn to the drama across the hallway.

"If you think honesty is disrespect," Mrs. Okamoto said, "then I'm afraid you've still got some things to learn."

"There's a difference between being honest and being hurtful."

"Yes, there is," she agreed. "The difference is in how you react. If someone else's honesty hurts you, then you ought to ask yourself why that is. If the truth hurts, it's usually because we don't want to admit something about ourselves."

"I don't want to have this conversation," Yuri said.

"Well, I certainly can't force you to," said his mother. "But, if you don't want to talk to me, perhaps you can discuss it with your father instead. He had to learn that lesson too, and it took nearly losing the people he loves most before he accepted it. Maybe his perspective would be more convincing."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that I might've stayed in America with your uncle if it hadn't been for Victor's accident."

He sounded incredulous. "You came back for Victor?"

"I came back for you," she said. "Because I thought you might need me. But, what I'm saying is that when I left last autumn, I had absolutely no intention of returning. Or at least not until your father came to his senses."

"Came to his senses about what, exactly?"

"Came to his senses and realized that he was harming himself and everyone around him," she said. "He was trying to build a wall around himself because he seemed to think it was a way of protecting everyone, but he was still getting hurt and all he really accomplished was to push everyone else away."

"What's that got to do with me?" Yuri said.

"It has everything to do with you."

"How?" Yuri asked.

"Papa was scared and angry and frustrated about things in his life, but instead of talking about it, he was behaving like a child and taking it out on the people he should've trusted to help him get through it," she answered. "He was upset because he felt isolated, as if no one cared about him, but the way he was dealing with it was isolating him even more." Her voice was quieter as she added, "Does that sound familiar?"

There was an even longer silence than the previous ones, and then I thought I heard Yuri say, "I'm sorry."

The next thing I knew, he was pouring out the whole thing to his mother, telling her stuff that he’d never said anything to me about. Although I probably could've inferred some of it, other parts of it were a revelation, and not necessarily in a good way.

He told her how he hadn't really wanted Fox to come here, but he agreed to it for my sake because he knew I was worried about not being able to take care of him myself and because I thought it was an acceptable alternative to the home healthcare program. He endured it as long as he could, he said, and he'd tried not to complain too much because he didn't want to seem ungrateful. But he'd been struggling because Fox was encouraging him to do more and more things for himself and didn't seem to understand when he explained why he couldn't do them.

"I cried every day," he said pitifully. "I didn't want Victor to know, because he doesn't like to see me crying and I didn't want to upset him.”

"You didn’t think he’d want to know you were unhappy?” Mrs. Okamoto asked.

“It wasn’t just being unhappy,” Yuri said. “It’s a lot more than that. It’s… everything. My whole existence. It’s just… all pain, all the time, and sometimes adding one more thing is too much. But, how was I supposed to tell Victor that?”

“You’ve told me,” she said.

“You don’t look at me the way Victor does.” The words came out low and strained, as if he was trying to suppress a sob. “He… he wants to fix it, but he can’t, and he gets this helpless look. It breaks my heart, Mama. I hate being responsible for that.”

“You aren’t responsible for Victor’s feelings,” Mrs. Okamoto said. “It may seem that way, but he’s the only one in control of how he responds. Perhaps I don’t look at you the way he does because I’ve learned to accept your illness and everything that comes along with it."

"Victor knows all about it too."

"Knowing and accepting are different," she said.

I had to think about that for a minute. Did she have a point? Do I really not accept Yuri's illness?

Yes, I do know practically every unpleasant detail of it, and I know how to take care of him. I recognize that he'll always be chronically ill, and that there'll be times when he's well and times when he's really sick. But, is that really acceptance?

Maybe it isn't.

Knowing all the facts is one thing, but being okay with them is another, and I can't say I'm not resentful and angry about Yuri being ill. You have to understand, though, I'm not directing any of that toward Yuri. He can't help being the way he is. It's more like I'm resentful toward the powers of fate or whatever for causing him to suffer this much, and I'm angry because I can't do anything to change it. It's not fair, and it hurts so damn much that I can't even find words to describe how agonizing it is. Just as Yuri said, I want to fix it, but I can't, and that makes me feel defeated, powerless and so overwhelmingly sad that it's as if my heart is being crushed.

I guess it's kinda like what I went through after losing my dad and sister. I experienced all the emotions; denial, sadness, rage, guilt. I did everything I could to find a place in my mind for my grief, to make sense of something utterly senseless.

With Dad and Caroline, I was stuck on sadness for the longest time. Years, in fact, and it's only been since this past summer that I've finally come to terms with it, learning that I can coexist with it without it taking control over the trajectory of my life. It's okay to still feel lost or sad or angry sometimes, but I also understand that wishing for the events of the past to be different is futile and only causes me more pain in the end.

I'm not there yet when it comes to Yuri's illness, and I'm not sure what to do to get there. All I know is, I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem, but I definitely can't do it on my own. So, I guess the best course of action would be to talk to my therapist about it, right? We've already discussed my challenges as a caregiver, so this likely won't be unexpected for him, and maybe he'll have some good insights to help me move forward.

It's weird, me wanting to involve my therapist. It's super weird to me that I even have a therapist, 'cause that would've been so far off my proverbial radar in the past, I probably would've laughed at anyone who suggested it. But now, I like to call it the silver lining that came out of my accident. If it hadn't been for that, I still wouldn't be seeing him, and maybe I wouldn't be making as much progress on self-improvement.

I realized I'd missed part of the conversation between Yuri and his mom when the sound of him sobbing pulled me out of my musings and back to reality. Evidently, Yuri was determined to say whatever was on his mind regardless of his emotional state, because he was getting choppy bits of sentences out between gasps for breath.

He was crying so hard that I could barely make out what he was saying, and the first thing I was able to catch was, "I hate eating. You know I hate it!"

"You need to eat, Yuri," his mother said gently.

"I know, but I don't want to."

"Why don't you want to?"

"Because it's too difficult," he said. "Fox kept making me do it by myself, but it made me feel worse, and he talked down to me as if I were a little child and I was acting out and being difficult on purpose. But... I really can't do it. I tried so hard to endure it, but I couldn't any more, and I just... I want... I want it to be... be over."

His words got almost completely lost in tears after that, but I thought I heard something about wanting to sleep forever, and about respecting his wishes, and about his whole life feeling out of control.

His mother let him cry for a bit, and then she said, "Did you tell any of this to Victor?"

"N-not really."

"Then, how did you expect him to help you or to respect your wishes?" she asked. "He loves you unconditionally and he's a wonderful caregiver, but he can't read your mind. Neither can I, nor your father, nor anyone else."

"I... I know. But..."

"You need to let us know how you feel and what you need."

"I'm tired of being weak," he said. "I'm tired of being a failure and a disappointment and... and a burden to everyone. Maybe it'd be better if I wasn't even here, because then I wouldn't be hurting everyone I love."

"Darling, look at me," Mrs. Okamoto said, and I envisioned her sitting down on the bed and cradling the side of his face in her hand. "No one would be better of without you. We love you, and we want you to be here. Do you understand?"

"You don't understand. I... I'd be better off," he said. "Mama, please... I've suffered long enough, and it's not fair that everyone else has to suffer because of me."

"We can get help for you,"she said.

"I don't want any more help. I'm trying to tell you, that's the problem. Everyone always has to do everything for me, and I don't want that. I'd rather live an independent life, or... not at all."

"Being ill and needing help are things that are entirely beyond your control," she told him. "You're not disappointing anyone, and you aren't burdening us by asking for help. What hurts us is watching you pretend things aren't as bad as they are and seeing you try to fight all alone, and finally reaching a breaking point like this."

"But, don't you want me to be independent?"

"I think you misunderstand what independence is," she said. "It has very little to do with how much you rely on others and everything to do with how you handle your responsibilities. If you can't do something on your own, the responsible thing to do is to ask someone to help you. Your independence is in your ability to make your own choices and to do what you need to do to reach your goals."

"I don't have any goals," he said. "They seem kind of pointless."

"Do they?"

"They do when I know I'll never achieve them anyway."

"What do you think you can't achieve?"

"What can I achieve when I'm like this?" he countered.

"Tell me something," Mrs. Okamoto said. "If you could make one wish come true right now, what would it be? Anything at all."

I was surprised at his answer. "Papa asked me that too. I told him I'd like to go to Sulani with Victor."

Mrs. Okamoto didn't seem surprised at all. "Could that be a goal?"

"No," Yuri said. "We're never going to be able to do it."

"Why not?" Mrs. Okamoto asked."

"Because we spent all our money on the down payment for Victor's haunted house, and once we get there, we'll be spending more money on furniture and a car and his university tuition and who knows what else."

"What if money were no object?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you told Papa you wanted to go to Sulani," she said.

"He told you that?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "We discussed it, and we also talked about it with your grandparents. You didn't have a honeymoon, and none of us gave you a wedding gift, so we decided that we'd like to pay for your trip, if you really want to go."

"What?" Yuri blurted.

That was more or less my reaction, too. I literally had to put my hand over my mouth to prevent myself from making any noise. I was shocked by the proposition. I'd like nothing more than to go back to Sulani and to take Yuri with me, but like him, I was resigned to the idea that it'd be a very long time before we'd get the chance, due not just to our finances but to his health and everything else going on in our lives.

"We were going to wait until you were feeling better, and Papa and I were planning to tell you and Victor together," Mrs. Okamoto said. "But I think this is the right time."

"Why do you think this is the right time? How is it right?" he demanded and, far from sounding pleased, he still seemed angry. "I can barely leave my bed, never mind leaving the country. I don't know if I'll even be well enough for our move. How can I think about going on a vacation?"

"I don't mean now is the right time to go," she clarified. "I mean, this is the right time to tell you. Clearly, you aren't ready yet, but perhaps you'll find some motivation to set some goals if you have something to look forward to."

"Such as?"

"You tell me," she said. "If you can't think about going on a vacation, then think about your move. What would you need to do to be ready for that?"

"Besides packing, and starting my immigration paperwork, and spending even more money on our flight?" he said. "Get better."

"And what would that look like?"

"You expect me to say eating on my own, don't you?"

"No," she said. "I don't. I expect you to tell me what your definition of getting better is."

"Being able to get up and do things for myself," he said. "Not being a drain on everyone around me and not putting all the responsibility for everything on Victor's shoulders. Not being constantly tired and stressed, and I don't know... Actually feeling there's some reason to be alive."

"What's causing you the most stress?"

"Eating," he replied, likely to the astonishment of no one.

"Is there anything that would make it less stressful?" she asked, and then added, "Something other than someone feeding you."

"Dr. Kasongo suggested tube feeding," he said. "Victor thinks I don't know he was talking to her about it. I think they were trying to keep it from me until the doctor felt like it was absolutely necessary, because they were worried I'd be upset. But, I... I might actually want that. Do you... do you think it's awful for me to want it?"

"If you'd like my personal opinion," she said, "I think that's a bit extreme. There may be something less drastic you can do before resorting to that. if you want to know whether or not it would be a good solution for you, though, I think you should speak to your doctor about it yourself."

"I don't know if I can," Yuri said.

"Of course you can," she said. "I'll come with you, if you like."

"Really? What about Victor?"

"If you'd rather have him with you, then certainly, he should come."

"No. I want you to come," Yuri said. "But—"

"You have to tall him," Mrs. Okamoto said firmly. "No more keeping things from him, all right? I think you know, marriages can't survive too many secrets, even if you believe you're keeping them for the right reasons."

"Even if I want to protect him?"

"Remember what I told you," she said. "You're not protecting him by hiding things from him. I'll come with you to talk to the doctor, but I need you to promise not to keep anything from Victor from now on. Not about this or about anything else that's upsetting you."

"Okay," he said meekly.

"And if you're worried about him keeping things from you, I'll be addressing that with him as well."

That was the moment when I stopped listening. My mind was already spinning from everything I'd overheard, both positive and negative. The prospect of getting lectured by my mother-in-law was one thing too many for my brain to process. I finally opened my audiobook and started listening just to distract myself from panicking.

Up to then, I thought Yuri and I were doing okay with our communication. Yeah, we have our problems, but I believed we were pretty much open with each other. It was jarring to view it from somebody else's perspective and to see we may have been hiding a lot more than either of us realized.

Something else to work on, I thought.

It's okay, though. We're all works in progress, so there'll always be something to do, and I'd rather know what I need to fix and do my best to make changes than to just blithely go about my business and never understand that I could be hurting someone. Like, ignorance may be bliss for the ignorant person, but not for the people around him.

Change is hard, but I think that thing about pruning the roses applies to ourselves as well as our loved ones. If I want to bloom, I may have to cut back a few of my own branches too.

[rikeijo]

heyy! I just wanted to ask, are there any rumors about the movie production in the JP fandom (or anywhere)? I’m always seeing people say “…if the rumors are true…” but what rumors? I’m so out of touch

Hello! Thank you for the ask!

As far as I know there are a few kind of rumors, you can find on Eng Twitter, mainly:

Some people, who claim to have insider knowledge what is going on, say that everything is alright, and we just have to wait. On the other hand, some people claim the movie has problems with international distribution, that is: the production committee wanted to release the movie in countries like Russia and China, where they would have problems with queer content. Some other people say that the movie is crap anyway, because they didn't include any queer content in it (and somehow, it still can't be released in Russia and China, that's why we haven't seen it yet...).

...So yeah, imo, claims like that should be taken with a grain of salt.

Sure, international release would be prestigious, but... The thing is Japanese companies usually prioritize Japan anyways, so I personally don't think it's very likely that they chose to lose so much money on this movie, just because they want to release it in China and Russia, or any other country except Japan, so much. Like, why? Just Japan, Europe and the USA would make them enough money... (I mean, if they really had problems with international distribution, even releasing the movie just in Japan would still give them profit, wouldn't that be better for the IP holders, than literally wasting a ton of money on a movie that may be never released?).

Not to mention that they stopped all promotion, they don't sell any goods anymore (the sportswear sponsor did the "come celebrate Yuuri's birthday and get Yuri!!! badges" campaign, and the PR account didn't even retweet that), so they chose to actively not make money on this IP, even though they still could (normally anime marketing is often like beating a dead horse...). The real money is always made on merch and don't they need money to make the movie?

Another problem is that if we ever see this movie, it for sure won't make as much money as it would if released in 2019. So once again, according to the rumors, they chose to lose so much money, because for some reason they just need to release the movie in China and Russia. Both countries where the government has a very negative attitude toward anime in general...

So yeah, I personally don't think China or Russia, or international distribution has anything to do with it.

On the Jp side the rumors I know of are (rumors, so it all can be just bs):

the movie was once returned to the blank sheet of paper stage (everything was thrown away) around summer of 2019, the source was allegedly somebody who worked for a Jp distribution company on Twitter;

Sayo stopped going to figure skating competitions/ice shows, the source is stalkers on Twitter;

the company that owns the rights to YoI (and it's not Mappa, guys), had financial problems in 2020, because of corona (understandable, their main source of income are music events) - that's not really a rumor, you can find articles about them selling their main building in very expensive district of Tokyo; btw, you can easily check who owns the IP, as info like that is available publicly

the movie is currently not being worked on - the source is e.g. Hiramatsu-san who tweeted that he drew Yuri!!! for the first time in a long time in the end of last year, and he's the animation director - if he didn't draw YoI, then most likely no-one did.

Also, no-one keeps Sayo and Mitsurou in a basement. Mitsurou is on Jp TV every month, does live events and so on. I think it was last month? There was a guest who liked Yuri!!! and she talked about it a bit with Mitsurou, but like, absolutely nothing about any future projects. They changed topics and didn't mention it again.

Sayo most likely works now under a different name (to not be followed around by crazies...).

[yuri-quest]

Excited for magic school? Darn tootin'! You could hardly sit still the entire carriage ride from your modest village to the capital city. Forests and farmland flowed by outside the window, giving you glimpses of a world beyond your sleepy life as the daughter of a sufficiently successful dry goods merchant. Perhaps some of the fields you saw are the sources of goods on your parents' shelves. The thought makes the world feel larger and smaller at the same time.

Eventually you arrived at the coach depot in the capital nearest the academy. From there, clutching your luggage in the iron grip of an overawed hick, you located the staff member who'd been tasked with wrangling the new students. A softly-glowing magic sign hovered above them while their hands were busy juggling clipboards and lists. Apparently your coach was among the last to arrive, as you didn't have to wait long before your luggage was magicked onto a baggage cart that surely had enchantments of its own to be able to fit two score trunks and bags within its confines.

The staff member led your cohort on a twenty-minute walk to the academy grounds. They were too preoccupied to speak with any of you who didn't have a crisis, so you kept your own counsel, busy goggling at the buildings that soared around you. Those'll be described when it's time to Choose Yuri Own Destination for a later day off, so cool your heels for now.

Anyway, you've arrived at the school. There's a grand auditorium where your group meets with the other new students of your year. It seems those who arrived by coach were only part of the incoming students. Some must be townies, and perhaps there are others who have come from the docks or other places.

Soon it will be time to test your magical aptitude and learn your dorm assignment. You know you have some amount of magic from the results of the basic magical screening everyone gets when they turn thirteen, but the testing equipment at your town's hall is only sophisticated enough to give a rough idea. You can't wait to learn your magical affinity!

Well, you're gonna have to. Seems there's still some time before the ceremony actually begins. Hurry up and wait and all that. You glance around to see if any of the other students are feeling as impatient as you are. A few folks catch your eye, the ones with character designs that mean they likely have custom dialogue portraits. Since you've got nothing better to do, why not go talk to one of them?

Nearby, at the center of a group of interchangeable rich-looking girls, is a regal young lady attired in fashion far finer than anything you'd before seen in person. She has immaculately-styled blond ringlets and piercing blue eyes. Just as piercing is her voice as she lets out a predictable "ohoho!" with a hand up to her mouth.

A short girl with mousy brown hair and wide brown eyes flinches at the sound. She clutches a worn school satchel like a lifeline. Its strap has been mended several times over, and the bag itself is more patchwork than original fabric, but it's clearly important since she didn't leave it with the rest of the student luggage. Her gaze darts around, looking for a safe escape from her conversation with the blonde.

You weren't the only one whose attention was caught by the oujo-sama laugh. A tall, dour girl with large glasses looks up from her book, her eyebrows narrowed in irritation. You can't see her eyes because the light strikes at just the right angle to render an obfuscating glare. The book she's holding seems to be a textbook, and it's got enough heft to it to kill a small moose. Her fingers drum against the back cover, but she doesn't seem inclined to interject all the same.

Also there are some men, but you're probably not interested in them. So? Who do you want to approach? Or do you just wanna kick back with some popcorn and see what unfolds?

[cursedmystic]

It is when he touches her that Matsuba would experience one final hallucination, based on an old memory. It is clearer than any other, but drug up from the depths of his mind long buried due to the trauma it may have caused.

She had been only seven years old and he was much more prone to being possessed back then.

In Johto it was believed that reincarnation was a part of life. Old souls being checked to new bodies. When this happens, the soul is partitioned, allowing old memories to make way for new experiences for the new person being born. But the old memories do not disappear, they simply are kept in another part of the soul, the subconscious of the soul.

Yuri's soul had been fractured as a child, but his parents and her own had assured him the damage would not be lasting. She would get better with time and she had. Soon enough after taking a ghost attack FOR him she was back to her usual energetic ways. That's why the memory was buried. Because it's been so awful to see someone so young get so hurt at such a deep level on his behalf

Brave little Yuri.

She seemed normal and fine but sometimes...

Sometimes she'd look elsewhere like she was far away.

The memory ends and so do the hallucinations. When she was healed by Jellicent, Yuri just looked the both of them quizzically.

"Hey, Matsu, I'm not hurt. Something wrong?"

The memory is deeply buried for him, and he makes sure to leave space to bury it once more when things were said and done. It was a plight of the maidens of her family, to host too many pieces in one space.

He holds onto her for a long moment, letting his Pokemon do its work, and slowly the vision fades. The hands slink back into the corners of his mind, left to torment him later, and he breathes in deep and shaking to consider the situation at hand.

Fractured souls were things that made Ghosts. He wished quietly for his Gengar, left behind for this venture, and feels the limbs of Jellicent tighten around him. It leaves him tingling with numbness a bit, a familiar sensation for keeping his migraines at bay.

He smiles when she says his name, holding her arm still before he draws out a length of the red yarn he had brought with him, snipping it free with his teeth before he wraps it around her wrist to mirror the ribbon he wore.

"Hey. We were looking for you. Don't wander off anymore, okay?"

[tigerexe]

long post on my thots on t&b 2 cour 2

BIG SPOILERS AHEAD

and again

BIG SPOILERS AHEAD

Well. i didn’t like cour 2 very much

i’m pretty disappointed really... a lot of it felt messy and yuri’s unfulfilling character arch and apparent death physically twists my stomach. gonna try and put this into a coherent order and giving each section a snazzy title. this is gonna be a mostly negative review of my thoughts so if you really liked cour 2 and would like to stay positive feel free to skip this read. that’s totally cool. chase your bliss. train and fight!

part 1: how to develop 15+ characters in 13 episodes

the problems that come with having such a large cast  is really starting to show in cour 2... my bias towards certain members of the supporting cast might be clouding my judgement but i feel like the writers didn’t know what do do with most of the ensamble cast during a lot of the episodes. i felt it especially during the portion the heroes are suspended and trying to investigate Gregory, theyre mostly just all standing in the same room, reacting to the same things over and over again as they wait for the main characters to forward the plot.

the small, personal moments between characters other than kotetsu and barnaby were few and far between. i did like each buddy duo being given at least the tiniest bit of mini-archs (antonio’s gift, pao-lin and lara dealing with lere’s mom etc) but my poor sweet firesky barely got anything. i had gotten the idea based on promotional materials keith and nathan were going to have a slightly larger role than during the first half (my fault, i know. shouldve kept my expectations lower) but even if that didn’t happen i still feel like they were given the short stick... do keep in mind i’m speaking as a guy who had convinced herself canon firesky romance was actually possible and spent the entire cour waiting for something. ANYTHING. to happen between them. even during the final episode i was sitting there, only half jokingly thinking “we popping the biggest bottles when canon firesky happens in the last 5 minutes of the last episode with no buildup”.

*spongebob Hawaiian Coctail plays me out*

it bothered me so much how during each buddy duos fight with L.L Audun they all apparently showed heroicsm by protecting and caring about eachother, enough to leave an impression on Audun, but the audience barely got to see any of that!! i think some of this could have been fixed with better phasing and a better focus.

part 2: everything happens, nothing resolves

man, what was up with all the unresolved and eventually dropped plot threads. i can’t think of a single setup that had a statisfying conclusion to me. L.L Audun came closest, as he was a really fun character but the way he was utilized fell so flat. his potential history with Mr. Legend couldve been touched upon, how he sees himself as a hero despite his action etc etc etc but instead he was just Gregory’s pawn for 10 minutes until he goes berserk and becomes a generic out-of-control final boss.

Little Aurora, who got such massive foreshadowing during the first cour turned out to be a mcguffin woman who will cause vague NEXT hate if she dies. she didn’t even have time to do anything before they caught Gregory and fixed the X issue :/ sigh.

i can’t even list all the potential directions i thought the plot would go based on previous foreshadowing and setup.

part 3: poor sweet darling Yuri

Yuri gets his own section because good lord, why would they do that. Yuri’s entire arch in this cour felt so needlessly, awfully cruel all the way to his apparent unaliving of himself (i say apparent because i’m in denial). the way his relationship with his mother, that was previously strained, was presented very happy and sweet until she gets killed. nothing wrong with Yuri achieving a better relationship with his mother ofc, but it was so transparently done here in order to further increase the manpain he suffers after she’s gone.

mr. legend was also handled very strangely. i thought his force ghost appeared much too frequently, like we get it. youre a manifestation of Yuri’s guilt or whatever, get a job. but jokes aside his last scene with yuri was so weird. him admitting his wrongdoings to Yuri felt like a weird attempt to redeem him? even if i read it as Yuri attempting to cope in the moment, as the only family Yuri has left is the hallucination of his abusive father who even still leaves him all alone to sob in a puddle of his own mothers blood. get what i’m saying? about a lot of this being so needlessly cruel? and oh ho ho we haven’t even gotten to his death scene yet.

i still feel a clump in my stomach and my chest thighten when i think about Yuri’s death scene. it truly makes me feel physically ill. i know that’s probably silly of me, to get physical anxiety symptoms about a corpse looking anime man but jeez. that shit hurted. just the fact that Yuri has to go through all that torment, all that pain, just to off himself after sacraficing himself for the main characters after Kotetsu told him his dad became abusive because he didn’t have a bestie unlike me :) (oughhh i get what that exchange was going for but it pisses me off. why would Kotetsu be more shocked at Mr Legend fixing fights than him being a domestic abuser. Kotetsu. a father and certified wife lover.)

The way they made Yuri so completely alone and isolated as he died once again feels so cruel. the fact that he had to die because he was “irredeemable” for killing awful people (for the most part i’m not gonna argue Edward needed to die), while that being an age old story in media, just feels so hollow.

part 4: positives????

i do feel i need to rewatch the whole thing again before i can truly, truly digest it but the first viewing did not leave a strong impression. i do think the parts i actually liked will hopefully stand out more on rewatch.

like i said, the little moments between buddy duos we got were great. Subaru especially definetly came out on top this cour. he’s definetly one of my favourites after this.

I also want to mention again how much i enjoyed L.L Audun. he was just Reinhardt Overwatch with some doomfist overwatch and allmight mixed in there. i love how huge he was ... (biting my tounge not to go on a tangent about his unused potential again)

i honestly don’t care too much about Kotetsu and Barnaby, mostly because i’m so fixated on most of the supporting cast but i’ll say a lot of their moments were quite good. i don’t enjoy them as a couple or see them as such but the way barnaby really cares for his emotional support old man is touching. the moment Barnaby’s suit breaks and Kotetsu tosses him his own was hype. 

lastly i loved the firesky conversation where Nathan offers to hire Keith as her secretary mostly because the mental image of sexy secretary keith keeps me going in there dark times

^cute keith pic to lighten the mood