#whatever life throws at us
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I literally don’t know how to talk about and process this without sounding like some sort of weird incel but maybe that’s what’s going on
#like#I just want a support system it’s not that deep#but I hate feeling all triggered and emo and whatever abt it as if I’m some sort of tragic martyr#I’m just another 20 something living in USA with no good social support services#like this is just what happens#like I’m processing to myself in the tags and it sounds like something some drag queen would roast you for#like hi you never got enough attention from your parents and it’s obvious#like girlllll??????#I need to chill#no I do need to let myself process these emotions like I know what the healthy mindset is for this but GODD#a nerve was hit apparently#like there’s no more looking for parental figures the older you get#the people you wanted to be your parental figures are now just like your age???#what the fuck do I do with that#volunteer at a nursing home I guess#how do people stop pitying themselves forever about this and just live their lives like what the fuck#how do u do that when u still feel like u don’t have a solid support system irl like I guess really no one was coming to save me from#my parents like I’m just stuck here with no idea of where else to go#I have been getting very good at keeping myself open to change and new beginnings and whatever#but holy FUCK can someone hurry up and like let me live at their place for free and be nice to me and I will also be nice to them and maybe#I will be able to make money in a way that is not traumatizing and then we pay off our house and are friends with everyone and can handle#whatever life throws at us#like what about that huh#like what the fuck#ok I think I got all the weird ranting and being stupid and processing out
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Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.
But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.
But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.
It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'
#o.#trans#transphobia#transmisogyny#I may or may not be talking about a specific post I saw that made me irritated but I didnt wanna get in an argument with internet strangers#sorry guys I'm still heated over freaking collin allred capitulating to ted cruz and throwing trans girls under the bus bc he didnt have the#guts to stick to his morals#and called them ''this idiotic business with boys in girls sports'' or some crap#as if trans girls don't deserve to play the sports they love. like I imagine if they blocked trans men from being physicists or something#and I just wasn't able to pursue the career I want? that would destroy me#and I still had to vote for him because the other options were ted cruz and some freaking libertarian.#sorry thats all tangential but can we not use the same rhetoric that all these politicians do as an excuse to kick trans women out of public#life PLEASE 🙏#...also I really hate the Popular Transmasc Ideology that says that we all experience life as basically the same as a cis woman & never have#to navigate having male privilege & being an ally to women#and all have some sort of Innate Connection to femaleness or womanhood or whatever bc 'obviously' we all grew up just like girls do#ugh#this one's going out there sans editing so dont yell at me if I worded smth weird please 🙏
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so the good place is widely lauded on this site for its takes on morality and capitalism, which i totally agree with
but i think it should get more recognition for the line "all humans are aware of death. so we're all a little bit sad all the time. that's just the deal. we don't get offered any better ones. and if you try and ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway. i've been there, and everybody's been there. so don't fight it. in the words of a very wise bed bath and beyond employee i once knew - go ahead and cry all you want. but you're gonna have to pay for that toilet plunger."
#i dunno i've been thinking about grief lately#and i think the nature of humanity is everyone's grieving something#it might not always be as straightforward as the death of a loved one - sometimes it is#but sometimes you're grieving a life you never got to live#the person you used to be#hell an old toy you just realised you lost years ago and are never going to get back#we're all just a little bit sad all the time#and i think looking at the world like that makes it a lot more friendly place#because everyone is someone who needs a bit of comfort - or just someone to say hey its okay to be sad and angry and confused#and when you're finally ready to let whatever you're grieving go the world will be a happier place#and you'll find a new thing to grieve because there's always something to be a little bit sad about#but the world keeps getting better for every one you get through and every friend who helps you through it#and sometimes you just need to throw a dumb joke in there at the end#that's what it means to be human#the good place#tgp
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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
#banana fish spoilers#I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT#mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol#yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY#whatever hope this makes sense. anyway#banana fish#okumura eiji#ash lynx#asheiji#hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh#anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god#and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character#that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1#dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up#edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras#ing that i forgot >;/
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brain rot so bad i was in class today when a schoolmate was wearin red sunnies and my prof went 'you look like something straight out of a marvel comic' HIS NAME IS SCOTT SUMMERS PUT RESPECT ON HIS NAME
#xmen#snap chats#im gonna make myself SICK#funny enough I Too own a pair of red-lensed sunnies. i got em years ago but kinda forgot about em#then i realized i squint a lot cause it always so damn SUNNY so i have decided to use them#anyways my life's over i cant be normal about the most Whatever of references to xmen now#Not X-Men but the other day a friend of mine was helping me move my stuff and she tried grabbing my bag#and Apparently it was heavy as christ cause she was like 'who the hell are you captain america why is this so heavy'#like PLEASE. the avengers brain rot was during my teenage years alright it can wake up sometimes I Guess vlevjalkjlkj#funny enough 2x tho i did really like cap as a kid ... i got into discus cause i thought him throwing his shield was cool 😔#ok thats enough personal rambling im finishing this doodle bye bye
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Hii! I have been recently getting more and more obsessed with your art and webcomic and was wondering if I could use your art as like a profile picture? (With credit!!) If not that's perfectly fine! :)
yeah you can use my art for whatever as long as you're not stealing it or selling it
I don't mind if people print my art out for themselves either. I do sell prints, but it doesn't bother me either way
In general I don't post anything that I haven't made my peace with all that comes with sharing my art publicly! So feel free to use it as you please pretty much.
Giving me credit for the things I've made is respectful and helps me in my career, and I would hope that most people intend to respect my work... And the people who don't respect my work were never going to whether I asked or not.
I make my work for other people to enjoy it, I want you to enjoy it!
#I sort of have a general thought process that like.#the main thing of my work is... my comics!#and thats my writing and my drawing and its these huge longform things#that to be quite honest. would be a ton of work to steal LMFAO#but theyre more intrinsically connected to me#knowing the name of the comics and the characters#looking for more. it's me. like it's always gonna come back to me...#But I also in general as a person... I sort of hate the concept of copyright#it plays at the idea of benefitting artists but the intent is to benefit corporations#and artists get screwed out of owning their OWN WORK for the benefit of said corporations...#The things that copyright are meant to protect are things that wouldnt matter if we werent living in CAPITALISM!!!#I wouldnt CARE if someone stole my stuff if I didnt have to worry about potential lost customers#so. I just try to lead my life and my art in ways that reflect my ideals#which is like... yeah go ahead. use it for whatever#I expect you to respect me and if you don't then I know it doesnt matter what I ask for. because it wasnt going to be respected anyways.#if you feel bad taking my stuff or printing it out yourself or whatever you can throw a couple bucks my way#helps me pay the bills lmao#but if you don't its fine. I'll be okay and it won't ruin me.#asks#anon#this isnot me saying yeah go ahead and steal my art LMAO#this is just like yeah as long as you arent saying or implying you made my work#or selling it when I am selling that same thing (stealing my money from me)#then. like. whatever#doesnt affect me negatively at all. I made my art for other people to enjoy it#I want you to enjoy it!
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I need to write more on the Mael and Isgarren plot, but will likely play JW for any extra lore beforehand. Still rotating them in my head, a lot, because petty immortals funny. Want to draw some shitposts for sure.
Anyway, Maol told Mael about the hidden Snargle book.
Context: Mael is pissy Garren essentially tortured a version of him in a fractal into becoming a demon (for the good of Tyria, but also something something, don't accidentally create a self-fulfilling prophecy) He then tried to kill Garren in an elaborate murder/suicide scheme, failed, got put in jail, got some theraphy, and now we have two exceedingly powerful magical immortals locked in a petty shitstorm because both of them know the other won't/can't kill them at the time as to not further endanger the future of Tyria.
Trust me, this was the TLDR. XD Also some context abt how I feel about Garren as a character in the tags 👍
#gw2#guild wars 2#gw2 soto#gw2 isgarren#isgarren#About the Commander#so!! onto the isgarren thing. I saw some discussions going on the dash so I just want to be clear I enjoy his character very much#I think we need more morally gray characters who aren't fully revealed to be acting selflessly or selfishly and you're left to make your ow#conclusions#Basically I interpret him as acting for the good of Tyria but also arrogant/too paranoid about his own life which leads him to run some#potentially hazardous fractal experiments since he thinks he can control them but then he gets possessed and it throws off his control over#some of the fractals. Basically a reminder that no matter how many scenarios he runs he can't fully predict and safeguard the future#that's just how I write him in my verse is all!#anyway I should probably stop doing indepth plots involving wizards before JW. I come from a finished (in quotes) fandom so I'm used to jus#writing whatever without the fear that new canon will prove my characterization wrong#soto spoilers
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Penny
D: Mistakes? Well, let's go through some of Sammy's greatest hits. Drinking demon blood, check. Being in cahoots with Ruby. Not telling me that you lost your soul. Or how about running around with Samuel for a whole year, letting me think that you were dead while you're doing all kinds of crazy. Those aren't mistakes, Sam. Those are choices!
D: Look, man, I don't even remember what I said, but, uh –
S: But what? But you didn't mean it? Oh, please. You and I both know you didn't need that penny to say those things.
D: Come on, Sam.
S: Own up to your crap, Dean. I told you from the jump where I was coming from, why I didn't look for you. But you? You had secrets. You had Benny. And you got on your high and mighty, and you've been kicking me ever since you got back. But that's over. So move on, or I will.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
D: Your blood's supposed to be purified, isn't it? You ever, uh -- you ever done the "forgive me, father" before?
Well, I mean, I could give you suggestions if you want.
All right. Well, I'm just spit-balling here, but if I were you, uh... Ruby, killing Lilith, letting Lucifer out, losing your soul, not looking for me when I went to Purgatory, for starters. Or, hey, h-how about what you did to, uh, Penny Markle in the sixth grade? Why don't you lead with that?
S: Well, that was you.
D: Carry on.
S: You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember?
D: Come on, man. That's not what I meant.
S: No, it's exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again.
D: You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.
sam’s faults
purgatory
#what side of the coin will you be today?#none of it -- none of it -- is true#it has never been like that ever#i wonder where sam could have gotten these ideas from#hop in my car i'll drive you to the edge#tries to jump over the edge#i wanted you to teeter how could you ever think i'd want you to jump i need you#the writing isn't subtle and yet...#spn 8x06#spn 8x23#matter in a state having no fixed shape and no fixed volume#natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible#none of the things sam is accused of are a result of him being deliberately bad#dean knows ruby manipulated sam and that he was predisposed to be addicted to demon blood from 6 months old#dean and sam both know heaven and hell tricked them into freeing lucifer#sam absolves dean of any guilt from that#but dean can’t do the same#dean blames sam for coming back soulless#absolutely not sam’s fault but it’s one more thing to blame on him to hurt him#they had an agreement to not obsess over reviving each other again and again#dean locking sam in the panic room#something sam never holds against him#the horrible voicemail the one sam never uses against dean#these things are so obvious why are people stupid#sam always had good intentions he just wanted to help people but he was doomed from the beginning#whatever dean did he was always in the right because he was chosen by heaven#even when sam got to be the hero and throw himself into the cage with lucifer he was atoning for his mistakes#and dean and bobby let him go to hell all the while thinking he deserved it#and sam believes when dean and everyone else tells him he has darkness inside even though he’s the kindest heart among them#all because he was groomed to be the devils vessel and because he wanted freedom from the life his family tried to guilt him into
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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he was only ever meant to watch
#he was never meant to be here in the first place it was a fluke in the system a mistake...#glass wall train ride timeline oblivion you were only ever meant to observe to read to watch-- not to touch. never to touch!#but you did and you damned us all because you loved this world too much and got too close and it burned and now its all gone wrong!!!!!!!!!#this world is doomed and its all your fault!!!!!!!!!!#becoming something monstrous something beyond yourself something horrible and it was all only ever because#you loved this world and its people so much you could throw up. you only ever wanted to be a part of it#to touch the grass to see its people to feel the sun to walk amongst everyone else#all a watcher ever wants is to become someone else to become someone real to become something that can be loved#the god of this world isnt the one who created it but rather the one who can manage to keep their eyes trained on it#to see every single birth and death and triumph and mistake to witness it all in its ugly bare faced truth and not look away#as the most powerless existence in the world..!!!#a storyteller confined to the whims of the story#you loved them so much youve damned them all to their deaths and theres nothing you can do#but watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#dfssdf .df#or . df df . SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHATEVER#HAVE YOU GUYS HEARDOT THE LIFE SERIES#HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD OF OMNISICENT READERS VIEWPOINT#I. HAVE. TO . DRAW. GROKJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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While I do like the Eldritch MK theory, someone suggested that instead of being the reincarnation of a past enemy, MK is instead a sacrificial lamb for an enemy to come back (with him being referred to as harbinger).
Which raises a whole other question of who he is meant to be a sacrifice for.
Baby MK overall gives off the kind of vibes where he was created to be destroyed, doesn't he? I mean, why else create a "simple creature, with no past, no family, and no name". If something was just born (from a stone or not) of course it doesn't have any of those things—why specify it? You would only specify a detail like that if it was significant to why MK was created in the first place.
Which, this thought is not exclusive to Eldritch Abomination MK or to Harbinger MK, overall that feels like the implication. MK was made to be sacrificed in one way or another, whether that's to stop a past enemy, a returning one, or some other thing.
So, with MK being a sacrifice to chaos, I'm wondering why he would be given so much power. *throws dart at my idea board* Maybe he was made as some sort of ticking time bomb, created to destroy himself plus whatever threat he was meant to be a sacrifice for. *throws another dart* Or, perhaps he was created to be able to go toe to toe with whatever ends up being the embodiment of chaos!
Just to throw another dart at the wall: maybe MK was made as a counter measure to chaos itself! "There's a reason you were at the center of all these stories", that reason being to maintain balance and prevent the end of the world (of which he's done like, 4 times over now). "You don't use a weapon...you ARE a weapon!" aka MK is the ultimate weapon against literally any big bad.
Of course I'm partial to my own theory, but this is definitely a neat idea!
#just throwing shit at the wall o7#I hope I contributed literally anything to this conversation#but you know I'm ALL about MK being a herald of Chaos.#like MK being created to be destroyed has a certain je ne sais quoi. He really is the doomed by the narrative blorbo#You also then gotta wonder then like. HOW he got all that power/what power was used to make him#Because like. Azure creating Camel Ridge sucked all of the life out of the surrounding area right#And with MK having the amount of power he does—where did that power come from#perhaps it was just similar to how Monkey King was born. But idk man MK seems to have even more power than SWK does#Maybe it was like...a combo. Using the good ol' stone egg and something else they made a fucked up dude who could fulfill whatever purpose#who knows man#asks#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk theory
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something i realized in the recent years is that while my mom is a very nice person and i can understand why she is the way that she is sometimes, she had a history of always dismissing and throwing away things that were important to me, and in hindsight that certainly had an effect on both my trust in her and how much i was willing to ever share, and also just turned me into a dumpster goblin because i just gave up on ever having nice things so why bother ever caring about my personal space at all ✌️ i'll just live in the filth because we'll never have anything better after all !!
#i remember i used to have a bunch of cool anime and game posters i collected over many cons for a couple of years#and one day i just came back to my bedroom being fully repainted and everything was thrown out#same with some figures i got. i had a nice bleach collection and they were all broken due to rough cleaning#some just straight up gone because haha who cares they're just toys toss em out#and it was a situation of if i complained i would only get dismissed as being pissy about stupid things. so i just. didn't.#i just accepted it and decided ''i guess i'm not getting anything again'' and didn't even bother going to cons after that lmao#now that i'm in my late 20s i'm FINALLY buying cool physical items for myself and not letting anyone even come close to my room#and a part of me feels guilty about spending. but like... yeah no.#i deserve that 1/8 makise kurisu figure i found the other day. or gunpla. or mtg cards. or manga collections. i can do whatever i want.#and i should also be retroactively pissed at how dismissive everyone was over my belongings because#EVEN IF they were all silly unimportant items. i was like 15. why would you throw away a kid's belongings like that. even if “dumb.”#not to mention how unimportant i was already feeling at the time. none of this helped.#and i was fully convinced that yeah this is what my life should be like. i don't want to be selfish so. i'll just embrace minimalism.#that is what i deserve.#which only later as an adult after i started comparing my experiences to other people i realized#hey. what the fuck was that.#do you guys really not remove all of the layers that make you human??
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Why can’t we focus on LOUIS for once?
https://www.tumblr.com/statementlou/748663634291572736
well the thing is this is exactly the kind of nonsense that I put larrie back in my bio for, are you literally going to look at my blog and say there's not enough focus on Louis?! give me a break with this 'oooh us poor louies are so oppressed by larries' narrative, I used a weird ass phrasing and someone wanted to know what it meant it's not an attack on anyone and it certainly isn't distracting me or probably that anon or anyone else from paying attention to Louis, I'm guessing they were on my blog in the first place TO CATCH UP ON LOUIS
the thing is, fuckign EVERTON have just gone one up on my club this may not be the best time to chit chat me����
#you come to MY blog when everton have just scored I AM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD#and honestly the idea that obsessing about his love life isn't focusing on louis is weird and its not like solos dont do it just as much#you don't see us throwing a fit that the focus is off louis when people are going on about mr oxford or whatever
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thinking about knowing that they would pay to remember the past he blew out a hot breath and said “burn it all” and folie a deux a madness of two and twin skeletons and scar crossed lovers and i think i’ve been going through it and i’ve been putting your name to it and it’s me and my plus one in the after life and i read about the after life but i never really lived more than an hour shouted back across the stage to the other and what is there between us if not a little annihilation
#pete was so right. truly what is there between them if not a little annihilation#they’re literally like… i’ll do whatever life throws at us as long as its with you. fuck
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Teen Wolf Motel California
So many thoughts about Teen Wolf Motel California
#So like I’m well and truly stoned#But like Boyd#This is like a crazy thing to be the third thing we learn about Vernon Boyd#We know he’s lonely. We know he was/is in ROTC. We know that as a child a CHILD his sister went missing#And they don’t even give us all the information about that! That makes me so mad#And Scott#We’ve been fed hints that Scott feels like a failure for three episodes now#And the kind of vision he get is SO INTERESTING. This vision hasn’t happened yet and while it is something we know he worries about#It’s such a specific situation. Why not Matt? Or Gerard? Why Duecalion? The first two have actually threatened Melissa’s life before#The goal was totally for him to want to kill Deucalion#And there were only 3 more deaths predicted not 4#How much of that was Scott and much of it was the Darach?#And then they put that thought in my head and have Scott consistently throw himself at dangerous situations without further addressing this#Ever again#And Issac#Every other time we see him a panic response#it’s like fight or flight (I can’t remember if those are real or not but for the purpose of language and I’m high I’m using them?)#But this time he freezes#Why#and like the whole thing with Ethan too#Like that just makes really neat implications about whatever the fuck the twin wolf mega wolf thing means#Like who has control? Is it equal? Do they know where Ethan starts and Aidan begins?#But like also I’m high and I don’t think the writers thought this much about this shit before writing this episode#It just gives me so many worms in my brain they are eating my brain oh my god#Teen Wolf
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i love how bones always animates Kunikida with pointy lil teeths- that's so cool and sexy of them - so have this,,, crooked pointy teeth Kunikida,,,, ough yea :sadthumbsup:
(not sure if i actually like this or am just Used To It after staring at it for hours until 5 am - the sketch did not look like him SOLELY bc I couldn't draw his hair right and the smile threw me off LOL - also also,, my requests,,, are open as always- even if u sent before and haven't gotten to it yet I prommy I read and appreciate and will get to them when I have more time )
#she can smile as a treat#idc if it looks ooc LET KUNIKIDA EXPERIENCE JOY LMAO#kite draws#kite watches bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd#kunikida#kunikida doppo#:dances:#not sure if it looks actually good or I've just Gotten Used to it -#everything looks good if u throw a gradient map on it tho LMAO#inspired by ME and my fucked up lil chompers- I had braces on and off for like a decade and they're still fucky wucky#but they're cool and pointy so who's the real winner?#also this picture might have cost me my cs data structures grade bc I decided to draw it instead of finishing my already late assignment#and studying for my final but low-key who cares#IF ANYONE knows how to code a hashmap from a dynamically allocated array lemme know and I will draw u endless kunikidas for life -#GPA is temporary- Kunikida is forever or whatever KJDHKDJH#curious who actually read tags bc I be writing my life story here#sorry for oversharing guys will happen again </3#but if u are reading this u are cool and hot and im kissing u on the forehead (platonically) mwah -#thank u#this is so cringe fail of me ill shut up now
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