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avpdspirit · 1 year

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I have talks with Jesus where I tell Him I'm sorry for being so disappointing. I tell Him that I'm sorry for not being able to fight for my life, that I'm sorry for giving up. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and I want to rest. God, I'm sorry. You've put beautiful people in my life, yet the one I needed most passed away just when I thought I had my life together. It's been 7 months during which I've kept myself occupied with work, but I can't ignore the elephant in the room any longer. My Enzo's life was what kept me going, and now I find myself running in circles. I'm waiting for Your visit in my sleep, to tell me that You've made the decision to end this pain that makes it hard to breathe, for You to assure me that I'll join my friend in the afterlife.

You knew how much I loved him.

Please, I've been begging for this since I was young, and I can't bear it any longer. I don't want to keep breathing. Jesus, please make it stop forever. Make my heart stop beating.

#enzo I miss you like you could never imagine #you were more than my best friend and you knew me better than anyone #i want to be with you and hug you #why would you leave me here #you knew i couldnt without you #i need you so much and i miss you even more #i dont get it #we were supposed to have a life together and i already told you what i felt and so you did #what about our little ones #what about melisa and gianfranco #you picked her name and confessed me you'd love to name her like me #we already planned a life together what about those dreams #i feel all my love for you rotting inside me and eating me alive #jesus do you remember my cry when i was little #when i begged you to come and save me #please whats taking you so long i dont want to be here anymore #you said itd get better but i dont feel better all i want to do is rest #im feeling numb again and i just cant take it anymore #enzo #vent #tw vent #tw sucidal ideation

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 24 days

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The dog days are over.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #The childhood flashback is one of my favourite scenes in MDZS and yes I am disapointing myself in how little I am covering it.#If it is any consolation...I'll be bringing JYL's piggyback scene into another comic later on.#There truly is something so specific and yet resonant in the way our bonds as children feel so deep.#But the world doesn't stay as small as it does when you are a kid. The problems you argue about get bigger and more serious.#You still hold so much love for this person despite how much you want to throw hands with them.#To have such a complicated history with someone and then fall apart...You always think you have time to heal the wound.#Why wouldn't you! You've never had anything but time with this person. A brother not in blood but in true and genuine bond.#And then the fucker dies! It's horrible and sudden and the last words you exchanged were cold and awful!#What do you do with those dead end feelings? What do you do but grieve bitterly and angrily?#There is no resolution for all the love you wanted back. There will never be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. Because you thought you had more time.#If anyone dares say Jiang Cheng didn't love WWX I'll be the first to fire up the powerpoint presentation on why he absolutely does.

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egophiliac · 7 months

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(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just #crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door'#oh twst you always know just how to get me #the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD #SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!!#3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!!#SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH #oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things #also master chef grim! he's so precious!#though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all?#grim canonically flies in the nude i guess #no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE #if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration 😭#which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna #anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody!#i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years #you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 4 months

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Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

#may 31th anon #Hello hello hello friends!! How are you!!#I miss you all I miss tumblr I miss drawing these silly men #work was soooo boring today I was really happy that I got to draw John in a baby carrier afterwards (*´︶`*)#what have you been up to??#my job is very boring most of the time unfortunatly!! I want to have a new job a little bit but I also never want to have a job interview #ever again and also I might get a lamp this year (!) I have heard that someone has already printed out the lamp form #are you excited for good omens season 3??#I am!! I have also been watching a lot of x-files #(*´▽｀*) we also have moths in the kitchen #I do not know what they are eating we have been storing all of our food in the fridge since last week but new moths keep coming #yesterday one flew out of the forks and spoon drawer #it's her kitchen now #I also got a mole removed #now instead of the mole I have a scar the exact same size an color of the mole #I have also been working on a longer comic project!! I think it will be ready to be shared this summer and I really hope you will like it #it's about the old dragon bros characters and their life with the princesses (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤#I'm having a lot of fun drawing again!!#I hope you're having fun too #also I had to write an email today and I had to attach a pdf file but it was upside down #I could not fix it #I just hit send

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haunting-hole · 4 months

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thinking about how funny it is that so much of dunmeshi is just. we gotta defeat the mad mage. we find and defeat this Evil Sorcerer who is ruining everything and then all our problems will be solved. and then they do that and the world ends not a day later

#unfortunate: the evil little mage committing horrors was a load bearing evil little mage #and the load was the integrity of our entire reality #dungeon meshi #what was that meme about all of internet being held up by just one very passionate sucker #that's thistle #dungeon meshi spoilers

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tapakah0 · 3 months

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#why no one told me that trying to get in the “grown up life” is so stressful when you have zero experience in a real work #All the skills you have are not enough #At the same time you didn't have rest at all after graduating because of the outside pressure #And I feel like I became deadly annoying #Let me complain a little bit I swear to god this is like 2 time after college when I want to complain at something I'm not that strong #What do you mean there is no sign “We want YOU as our worker!” ahagsha funny #I have to learn about 2 new programms on a basic level at least #Learn new things on Toon Boom #Prepare different portfolios when turns out I barely have something I can show #I was thinking too little and now I barely can think and I start being irritated at myself yet can do nothing since my brain rebels #Okayyy just 2 more months to see if something will turns out good out of what I will be doing

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chawliekin · 5 months

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and if I said that dennis’ insistence on being the breadwinner/provider despite literally being a pampered princess who dgaf about traditional roles of masculinity in every other regard (aside from ego) is because his mom only stayed with/chose frank for his wealth and dennis is highly aware that he’s difficult to love and unable to show his emotions openly so he has to be contributing something to the relationship materially in order to feel like he’s worth staying for… and mac grew up with parents who were extremely ambivalent to him and eachother so he has to overcompensate by proving his worth at every given moment and seeking praise/validation from people (and religious icons) who will never demonstrate the same amount of dedication to him but he has no idea how else to desperately keep himself close to those he loves other than by eroding himself into something they’ll approve of… dear god they’re both exactly what the other needs — someone who can’t and won’t leave them even if they try — and they don’t even see it…

#dennis thinks he’s losing his edge and mac thinks he’s perfect anyway #mac feels like no one in his life has ever needed him enough to stay but dennis can’t stay away #IM ILLLLLL about these men from the world’s stupidest sitcom #sorry if this got a little freudian I don’t LITERALLY mean it in the sense that mac/dennis are seeking something that reminds them of their #parents (gross) (although pretty character accurate to the SINNED system)#but rather that our childhoods teach us what we should expect and look out for in life #and it never really leaves us #this all stemmed from me contemplating MADMTTS and how it would’ve made way more sense for mac (high energy adhd) to be out in the world #and dennis (bpd anger issues) to be indoors free from the triggers of the world #but they INSISTED on mac being housewife dennis being breadwinner #same as their little battle over supposed roles/dynamics as hugh honey/vic vinegar/brian lefevre etc #you are two queer men why on earth do you care about sticking to heterosexual gender roles #but it was never about the gender roles it was about what they self-assign their value to…#mac and dennis #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #iasip #it’s always sunny in philadelphia #its always sunny #macdennis #macden

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uncanny-tranny · 17 days

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Every time I think too deeply about how we've found the bones of thousands and thousands of years old ancient people and we've given them people names I just

Guys, do you get it? We put to name these ancient peoples whose bodies vaguely resemble us and we go, "you're one of us, and we will give you a name that we have invented". They are not here to have a voice for themselves, but they are here to be remembered.

To be named is to be loved.

#positivity #archeology #anthropology #thinking about lucy right now #learning about her was so amazing as a wee little lad #i think what made me overcome with emotion was when they named her (apparently after the beatles song)#it's not Just that they have scientific names. so many of these people have PEOPLE names (and their scientific category names)#WAIT... LUCY IS ALSO DINK'INESH WHICH MEANS 'YOU ARE MARVELOUS'???#ouuuugh this knowledge makes me want to curl up in a ball and shrivel up (/positive)#i don't care how different the extinct relatives of ours. she is one of us and i love her

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gentlebeard · 7 months

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If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again

For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube

#ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #ofmdedit #ofmdaily #ofmd source #ofmd fanvid #ofmd s2 #ofmd edit #blackbonnet #ella’s edit #HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMS ❤️#AND A BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAITLIN ❤️#i'm killing two (impossible) birds with one stone by dedictating this video to both of you absolute angels!!#jams i love you so much. you're so incredibly talented and hilarious and kind and amazing. i'm so grateful for you.#if you didn't live halfway around the world i would come over and give you the biggest and warmest hug #thank you for letting me scream in your dms all the time. whether it's about our pirate boys or your writing or cancellation hell™️#and just THANK YOU for being such a wonderful presence in my life #oh and kaitlin. lovely sweet kind kaitlin. the one we all love to call a human ray of sunshine because you're just THAT lovely #your little yellow hearts in the tags brighten my day every time i see them. whenever i talk to you you're just so sweet #thanks for every single lovely word. for every music rec. for every sweet message or ask. what a gift you are. ily!!!#speaking of gifts: i couldn't think of a more perfect song for the two of you than francesca #so i hope you like my little creation that i've put together. once again shoutout to #evil gang 😈

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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year

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#spinda #AAAHHHH YES!!! our belovèd spinda. from their café!!! probably one of my favorite minor characters from pmd sky #whom i don't even think was in the original explorers games. i think spinda's café was exclusive to sky. if i'm remembering correct #ly. or maybe that was shaymin village. i know shaymin village was for sure but maybe it was just that and not both of them. either way #have a delicious drink and allow the flower of conversation to bloom! i could quote spinda all day. he had “hopes and dreams” before toby #ever did. THAT'S ALSO like i had no idea what spinda's pronouns were. i kept trying to figure it out because i talked about him quite a lot‚#but no one in game ever talked about him. to mention his pronouns? turns out. there's ONE line of dialogue where the post office fucker in #shaymin village mentions him and calls him a he. i think that's the only time spinda is referred to in the third person with a pronoun #i believe it's when they're talking about like. how you can send gifts or whatever and pick up the characters' responses at spinda's café #which is still a really fucking good feature. of any video game. SEE WHAT I MEAN spinda and their café is just an incredibly good Thing #it's to the point where my home wifi network is named “Spinda's Café Wi-Fi” because i love it so much. so if you're ever runnin around #and you see a wifi network by that name… it might be me! you never know! or… it could be the real deal. the real spinda's café is somewhere #nearby…! ugh. i wish. i would go there immediately #not even to mention all the other shit about this pokémon that's really good. like that they never walk in straight lines or whatever #their little dance. it's just. huUGHKLJKAHJVDHJHDAJSVGD i love spinda. a nice pick-me-up after the underwhelmingness that was grumpig #shake it this way… shake it that way… and stir it all around… and it's done!

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3-aem · 3 months

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thinking about touch starved touch sensitive gojo again. Absolutely desperate for even the most grazing touches from getou and yet overwhelmed by it all.

#anyway irl i think i just went on the most awkward coworker not date but a little too sus to just be a casual dinner #what made it sus i think was one the deliberate choice to not invite any other coworkers #and two the fact the conversation had a direct flight to our dating histories #but also im insane maybe this is Normal dinner coworker conversation IDK #IDK ANYTHING ABOUT SOCIAL INTERACTION #HE WAS MAKING AGGRESSIVE EYE CONTACT AND I WAS LIKE BRO CAN U STOP THATS A LITTLE TOO INTIMATE MAYBE WE CAN JUST LIKE STARE AT EACH OTHERS #EARS OR SMTH PLEASE?#me starring at my cat all the time until he comes over or meows #me whenever someone else stares at me: u gotta stop that i have anxiety #anyway i just crave the SOCIAL interaction of ppl who are not clinically online like i am #i wanna speak to ppl who see the sun #in hopes i may glean just a bit of normalcy from them #im gonna go read copious amounts of fanfic

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

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Do you like sci-fi and indie animation? Check out Monkey Wrench!

#monkey wrench #digital art #This series is very delightful and also in need of more attention!#Usually I would ramble about why love it - however I am going to go a little off the rails and talk about something else.#Namely that this is a gift for a very dear friend who loves this series a lot! One of my favourite people of all time!#Thank you for so many things. For keeping me going when times are dark. For sticking by in the hard times.#Thank you for the incredible soup and the fun moments! For the great recommendations on series.#I sometimes feel like I should thank the universe for letting our paths cross when they did.#It feels cheesy to say all this but I really am such a better person because of you.#Thank you for reading all my silly comics even though you have *no* idea what is going on in them. It means a lot.#My gift of a silly doodle and hopefully getting a few people to check out this show is not adequate to express my gratitude.#But hey - we've got the rest of our lives to keep saying thank you.#Love you lots mate. Can't say it enough B'*)

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lepusrufus · 2 months

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In case you're wondering what I've been up to

Dragons

The answer is dragons

#when your dnd campaign has been on hiatus for so long you start making AUs like evil preschoolers playing dolls #obligatory apology to the one friend who's dms are being victim of me losing my absolute shit about this #hear me out what if our little guys but in h/ouse of the d/ragon eh ehhhh?#if you can't tell I've also been watching it and I'm hating every second #except the one (1) gay kiss and the dragons they deserve so much better #why am I brai rotting over this I HATE THESE DAMN SHOWS #but the dragon design are so good goddammit 😩#send help #my art #dragon #dragon art #character design #ishhhhh

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egophiliac · 2 years

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HELLOOOO HAVE YOU SEEN LILIA'S DORM CARD YETTTT

personally, what made me most gleeful about the update news is that the part 2 description implies that they forgot to invite Malleus to Lilia's farewell party. god yes rub that salt into the wound, Monday can't come soon enough

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #i've been refreshing myself on part 1 and i just want to call out one of my favorite little bits #when silver is like 'w-what. you can't leave. what about our HOUSE'#and lilia just goes 'oh yeah i don't own the house. it's just some abandoned cottage i found in the woods!'#'we've technically been squatters for the last sixteen-ish years!'#lilia you're actually kind of terrible and this is why i love you #i JUST finished grinding out 800 of those stupid juices for his sunset warrior card #time to throw my crummy little handful of remaining keys into the void i guess #thank you azul for having a birthday just in the nick of time so i can get those sweet free keys

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icewindandboringhorror · 11 months

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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months

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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

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