#Or...What benefit do you think it gives this child to learn the harsh lessons of going without?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Who is this sassy lost child?

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[bestbonnist]

Chapter 171.1

The battle between the immortals is played for laughs, but the way that each of their arguments is connected to their core character traits makes me think it's indicative of more deeply ingrained conflicts. Let's break it down!

Tonari's same old same old. She feels indebted to the people she loves, Fushi especially, and believes that if she wants to be around them, she needs to be able to pull her weight. She doesn't think she has any helpful skills apart from a base level of poison resistance, so that's what she focuses on. Tonari puts a lot of emphasis on how "useful" it is when she dies, on whether or not her death helped her friends or not. She puts herself down and uses herself like a tool for the sake of the people she loves.

Gugu is similar to Tonari in that he uses his body like a tool for the benefit of his friends. As an impoverished, abandoned child—also very similar to Tonari—Gugu thought his only attribute was physical labor, especially after he had his accident and from his point of view, lost his humanity. Gugu got into his accident in the first place because he put himself in harm's way to save Rynn. It's a mark of how little he values his safety.

The main difference between Gugu and Tonari, in this case, is that Tonari sees herself the same as other people, which is to say: bad. Humanity is all a bunch of assholes, and she's no different. Her friends are the rare exception. Whereas Gugu sees all of humanity as fundamentally good. And Gugu, being a monster, is below them. So Gugu is willing to lay down his life for everyone, and Tonari is willing to do it for the people she loves (yes I know she literally says she does it "for everyone" but she's only talking about the people in the park with her).

Messar says that he's enjoying his life but he keeps dying in horrible ways. He froze to death nine fucking times and hasn't learned his lesson. Is that really enjoyable? It seems more like he's disguising a disregard for his own well-being as freedom. And as Hylo says, he has no purpose, so he's just kind of stagnant right now. It's, uh... It's giving depression.

If Messar is too hedonistic, then Hylo is too restrained. By setting goals for himself, like saving all of Renryrr or becoming a baker, he's able to get a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that makes him happy. But he has no chill. Those goals are the will to live that he thinks are so important. Without those goals, he's no different than Messar. Only Messar is able to find the worth of moments spent doing nothing.

This is also literally the same shit they said in Chapter 165.1. This argument has been going on for five hundred years.

Messar "left unhappiness back in Renryrr," referring to when Alme died. His reason for living was to protect her, he was literally unable to move after she died and got killed by a knocker. Moving on is all well and good, but if his recklessness is any indication, he hasn't moved on at all, he's just trying not to think about it. As Hylo—who has actually done the work to move forward after the loss of his foster mother—points out, you can't really call that happy. Hylo is so harsh on Messar because he used to be aimless as well. But Hylo found something to pursue in the Renryrr arc and Messar isn't even looking.

In her first life, March agreed to be sacrificed because it was the way to keep the most people safe. She didn't want her friend or her little sister and their parents to be hurt, so she went along with Hayase's plan. She also died saving Parona's life. At this point in time her idea of a good life/good death was similar to Tonari's and Gugu's—that is, to use her death to make the people she loves happy. But as a ghost, she saw firsthand how much her death affected Parona. Being dead wasn't better for the people around her like she thought it was. Now the way she doesn't make everyone sad is by staying alive. She encourages others to do the same, as seen in this chapter when she chastises Messar for not taking care of himself.

March also takes this into account during important decisions, like when Fushi consults their friends on whether they should take the Beholder's powers or not and she calmly tells them that the choice is theirs. A huge difference from the time she freaked out when they told her they would be losing consciousness indefinitely at the end of the previous era. March's way of living is at odds with Tonari and Gugu's way of dying, but they're all dedicating themselves to the people they love.

Bon doesn't get involved in arguments, ever since the Renryrr arc he's relegated himself to a mediator/advisor role. He avoids having any contrary opinions and goes with what will placate the most people. I can't say much more about him because he almost never gives away what he's really thinking (sadly he is not a perspective character anymore), but this is definitely a continuing pattern. It's a shame because he's actually pretty good at decision making, although he stepped down due to the number of poor choices he made during the Renryrr arc.

Kai, and Eko don't care very much about the best death argument, which doubles as a "whose life has the most meaning" argument. I wonder if it's because they found a reason to live by working as mechanics and transferring their good points to people within the system, so they don't feel as insecure about it.

Well, that's that! I think their squabbling was a neat way to introduce the issues that'll be explored in this arc and to show how Fushi's friends have adjusted to immortality. The doll point blank asks them why they're alive, and in a roundabout way she gets an answer: they're alive to die.

[vs-redemption]

hii! i swear i read your request rules but i’m still worried this doesn’t follow them. anyway i figured i’d ask and you can obviously decline ahahah. i just read Gray and it’s so well written and makes my heart shiver and i wanted to ask if you’d write a part 2 or a one shot/scenario of having levi as a soulmate in the same eye color soulmate au as Gray? thank you !! :) (^･ｪ･^)

From Cindy: I apologize for taking so long to get to this! It took me a while to get an idea I liked, and then I had trouble getting into the mindset to write it. Inspiration finally struck though, and this is the result! I hope you like it!

Soulmates (Levi x GN!Reader)

Based on the same AU as Gray (Levi x Gn!Reader)

⚠️angst and hints of sex work (Levi’s Mom)⚠️

Levi loved safety

Being born in an extremely run down and sketchy part of the city was one of the worst fates a person could experience. Ever since Levi could remember, he’d been burdened with warnings from his mother who had learned most lessons about living amongst the dregs of society the hard way. He never stepped a foot outside their tiny one room home without hearing her voice expressing concerns about who he talked to, which streets he went down, how late he stayed out, and which shops he visited. There was danger everywhere and no one to protect him.

“Levi, stay close to me,” the woman would say to him when he was younger. Even going out in the middle of the day was a risk for them because his mother had a reputation. In order to feed him and keep the roof over his head, she’d reduced herself to a line of work that garnered an uncomfortable amount of negative attention. In a world ruled by the existence of soul mates, everything about their lifestyle was wrong and all it took was seeing a woman with duel colored eyes and a child for someone to know she’d committed the biggest taboo.

At first, Levi didn’t understand why anything about his mother’s appearance would cause such a stir. He’d seen plenty of people with two colored eyes, including himself. As he got older though, his curiosity grew and one day he made the mistake of asking about his father. The pained look on his mother’s face filled him with regret immediately, but he sat and listened to her intently as she explained the ways of their harsh reality.

“Your eyes are a promise,” she’d told him as delicately as possible. “A promise not to share yourself with anyone until you meet the person who you are destined to find and be with forever.” Levi had been filled with sadness for his mother when she admitted to breaking her promise. It was clear that she’d only committed such a disapproved act out of absolute necessity. People were judgmental though and could only see the fact that Levi’s father had not been the woman’s soulmate, which is why her eyes remained mismatched.

“You can still find them,” Levi had tried to hold on to a glimmer of hope for her, but she just smiled sadly and shook her head. The likeliness was low at her age, and even if they happened to cross paths, her past and status as a single mother would drive any respectable person away.

Levi loved stability

After learning about and coming to terms with the truth of this mother’s situation, Levi became determined to help her out in any way possible. He didn’t want the woman sacrificing herself for him any longer. And once he got older, he begged her to start staying home while he did what he could to provide for them both.

“It’s not your job to take care of me, Levi.” She’d smiled at this thoughtfulness while cupping his cheek in her delicate hand. “Everything I’ve done will have been worth it as long as you can have a better life than me.”

He understood her sentiment, but was too stubborn to give up. It was hard to find honest work in a town full of desperation and poverty, but Levi did his best. He took odd jobs here and there, and tried not to get mixed up in any of the bad business that ran rampant in the area. The money he earned wasn’t nearly enough to cover the cost of his small home though. After a handful of threats from the landlord to toss them out on the street, Levi knew he had to do more.

Levi loved familiarity

Resorting to petty theft went against everything Levi’s mother had taught him, and he knew it would probably break her heart if she ever found out. Still, he couldn’t allow their home to be taken away, or worse, his mother to return to the work she’d done before.

He had to be smart though. Being caught stealing in his neighborhood could get him killed. Going into the nicer parts of the city would be a better bet. He didn’t know the area as well, of course, but there was the benefit that he wouldn’t be recognized if anyone saw him. If he did happen to get caught by law enforcement, he’d end up in a jail cell rather than a cold ditch somewhere. Neither option was ideal, but stealing from the rich would have to do until a better plan presented itself.

Things went decently for a while, and Levi was a quick learner. He figured out what worked and what didn’t without having too many close calls. He made sure only to take enough to get by since the thought of being too similar to the criminals he’d grown up around made him sick to his stomach. It was only a matter of time though before his luck ran out. Rumors of a pickpocket spread and people began to act more cautiously about carrying their valuables out in the open, forcing Levi to get more reckless with his stunts.

It was on a particularly frustrating day that Levi caught a glimpse of you. More accurately, he caught a glimpse of the leather purse filled with coins hanging from your hip as you chatted away with a friend outside a popular confectionary. With practiced movements, he slipped into the crowd and made his way in your direction, thinking that snatching up the money would be simple and easy. He’d made a mistake though. Your pouch wasn’t tied up like he was used to, but secured with a metal ring designed specifically to prevent the very act he was trying to pull.

You begin to turn around as soon as you feel the tug on your belt and Levi freezes for a moment, trying to think of a way to get out of the situation. One word from you and everyone in the vicinity would be on him. As soon as your duel colored eyes met his however, something happened that put all other thoughts out of both of your minds. Levi watched in shock as you blinked once, twice, and then suddenly your left eye changed color completely to match your right. The look of initial alarm on you face softened and Levi knew he had to get out of there. He turned on his heel, ducked his head down, and walked away as quickly and as naturally as his legs would allow. He waited for any sign that he was being pursued for a moment or two and then broke into a run.

Levi loved certainty

In his panic, Levi didn’t even greet his mother as he rushed past her once arriving at home. His heart was pounding and a light sweat covered his forehead uncomfortably. He went straight to the bathroom to stand in front of the cracked mirror above the sink. It took a few seconds to muster up the courage to look into his reflection and find that everything that had happened was real. The two colored eyes that he was so used to were gone.

“Levi, sweetie, are you all right?” his mother appeared in the doorway, looking scared. “Did something happen at work? You’re not usually home this early!” He turns to look at the woman who notices his matching eyes immediately. Her hands come up to her mouth which spreads into a smile and tears spring into her eyes. “Congratulations! Who is it?”

The question makes Levi feel ill. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he’d meet his soulmate while trying to rob them. And if his mother found out, she’d be so disappointed.

“It doesn’t matter,” He tells her stiffly. “I can’t be with them.”

The words were far from enough to satisfy his mother though, and she nagged him the rest of the evening with questions about what you looked like and where he’d saw you. He kept his lips sealed until he’d had enough of the interrogation.

“Please, my obligation is to you and nobody else,” he tells his mother. “I don’t know anything about this person. Not only do I have no interest in being with them, I’m certain they have no interest in being with me either.”

“Levi, this is all I’ve ever wanted for you,” his mother begs, taking his hands into her own. “Do not live your life feeling empty and alone. Take this chance and find your happiness.”

Levi shakes his head, refusing to even consider it. His only focus had been himself and his mother for so long that it seemed ridiculous to add a third person into the mix now. It was better to pretend he’d never met you, and he imagined you would feel the same way. How disgusted did you feel knowing your soulmate was the infamous pickpocket? It would be even worse once you found out where he lived and about his mother. Surely you were both better off without each other.

Levi hated the thought of a life without you

Despite his resolution to continue on with life as normal, it only took a few days before Levi caved and went back to the spot where he’d encountered you. The image of your face had never once left his mind, and there was an incessant need to see you again that he could not ignore. He thought perhaps one more look couldn’t hurt, and he had to go back anyway if he wanted to collect enough money to pay his landlord that month.

“I hoped you’d come back.”

Levi had been sure you wouldn’t recognize him after only getting that small glimpse, but apparently fate had engrained his face into your memory as well. He whirled around, his gaze immediately locking with yours. It was wild to see the familiar color of your eyes looking back at him. He had no idea why you’d be here looking for the person that tried to steal from you. The cautious smile on your face as you introduced yourself put him on edge as well. “What’s your name?”

“Levi.” He hadn’t meant to say it, but part of him already felt an attachment to you. What was more, hearing your name for the first time felt like a fire had ben lit inside of him. He shakes his head to get his mind straightened out. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“No!” the panic in your features makes him falter, “Please stay. Can’t we talk for a moment?”

“I’m sorry,” Levi backs away, trying to fight off the instincts rising up inside of him. He didn’t want you to be sad and he didn’t want to disappoint you. He knew though that it was inevitable that he would.

“Levi…”

Hearing his own name spill from your lips was enough to have him second guessing everything. Would he really be able to go the rest of his life without hearing it again? He wasn’t sure he was strong enough to stay away. He’d already come crawling back once already after all. As a last resort, he knew what he had to do. He had to tell you everything. And he did. He revealed his entire life story to you without hardly pausing to take a breath, knowing that every detail would drive your further and further away. Having so soulmate at all was much better than having a soulmate like him.

By the time he finished talking, tears had welled up in his eyes as well. His mother had told him to take the chance for happiness, but instead he’d violently thrown it away. A few seconds passed and suddenly you were slipping your hand into his. It was the wrong reaction to the story but he can’t help but tighten his grip around yours anyway, wanting the comforting feeling you brought to last forever.

“I’m so sorry you and your mother have had to fight so hard just to survive,” you tell him softly. “But you won’t have to live that way any longer, or at least, I want to join the fight with you.”  The genuine kindness and determination in your voice was overwhelming for Levi. Somehow he knew you meant every word, and the image of a brighter future for all three of you began to take shape in his mind. He had no idea if such a future was actually possible, but with you at his side he knew he’d definitely be willing to try. Being born in the roughest and seediest part of town had to be one of the worst fates a person could experience. Levi knew that first hand. He also knew he wouldn’t trade that fate for the world if it meant having you as a soulmate.

[suchalonelysunflower]

A Dance Of Thorns (c.h)

Where The Roses Bloom - Chapter 4

Pairing: Stable Lad! Calum Hood x Princess! Reader

Summary: Welcome to the masquerade to celebrate Your Royal Highness engagement. How many surprises can one night hold?

Warnings: Angst, Drama and Smut. Language, mentions of alcohol and abuse. Some grammatical mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry!)

Word Count: 12.3 k

Author’s note: by far the longest chapter I’ve written but anything for the drama ✨ I would love to hear your thoughts on this 🥰 Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and Likes are very important! You have no idea how much they help me 💕 Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋����✨

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Series Materialist || prologue || chapter one || chapter two || chapter three || chapter five || chapter six || chapter seven || epilogue

A month has gone by since the first time you saw King Luke Hemmings and you found out that you are supposed to marry him in less than a few weeks. And ever since that moment, you have invested every little free time you have into trying to stop that from happening.

You spent your afternoons sitting down at the library, reading book after book that might contain some kind of information to let you escape that awful deal. But every book you read said the same thing “A King’s promise may never be broken by law”

Still, that didn’t stop you.

Calum was also helping in every way he could. In the afternoons on his free days, he would go to the public library in town, searching for anything that could help your situation. He would spend hours reading about foreign laws that could give you at least some kind of leverage. He would ask around, hoping some kind of gossip might help you win something against your father, but until now all your tries gave little to no satisfaction.

At night, Calum would climb the castle’s walls to your window. It was the only way you could spend some time together and share hushed conversations since your father forbade you to go out without a proper companion.

He would lay with you in your bed, curled up together as he told you stories about faraway lands his father once told him, all in attempts to distract your mind from the reality you were facing every time the sun came out. He would kiss you goodnight as you fell asleep in his arms, letting the beat of his heart work as the symphony of your dreams. You would whisper “I love you’s” in the darkest of the room, letting them get lost in the stars as they shined down on you.

Every night you would go to sleep with Calum around your arms, but when the sun came up all traces of him disappeared with the moon. Well, everything but the white rose he left on your dresser along with the promise of keep fighting for you, no matter how long it took.

And with the sun it came the charade. You acted as the most obedient daughter you could ever think of. You attended your lessons, you didn’t speak out of place and obliged to every activity that surrounded the wedding, whether it was about flowers, food, decorations… things you couldn’t care less about since you were determined no to marry the King.

King Luke was not a bad person, on the contrary, he was one of the few people you could have a conversation with besides Sir Michael. Many afternoons they would accompany you in the library, never commenting about the books you chose to read as they sat in silence one in front of the other, immersed in their reading or their hushed conversations.

You learned to find a friend in Luke, someone that could have at least the same amount of trust you once had with your brother. He would make you laugh and he’d tell you everything you wanted to know about him, it was so easy and somewhat comforting to know that you were not as alone as you felt. But that did not mean that he had your full trust.

After Ashton took your father’s side in this dilemma, leaving you alone in a marriage you wanted no part of, you lost every ounce of trust you once held in your heart. And even though Ashton did try to make it better, to apologize for the way he treated you; you did not let him go near you. Every time you found yourself alone with him, you ignored his every move, and if you were in the company of others you didn’t even dignify him with a glance. You knew you might be a little harsh on him, and all of this hurt you as well, more than you would care to admit. But if your father learned about you and Calum… who else could’ve told him if not your brother?

Out of all the people who could betray you, you never expected Ashton to be one of them and you let him know that, no matter how much you needed your brother with you. If he declared your death with this marriage before you were sent away, then he’d be dead to you as well.

You were not going to give up, not even with the ceremony breathing on the back of your neck. There must be a way where you could break this engagement, something that could give you your freedom again.

The ceremony was scheduled one day before your twenty-first birthday, one day before you gained your independence as a royal as the law said it, one day before you could refuse the King’s requests with total liberty. Your father had planned this well, you must admit at least that. But if there was a way where you could delay the wedding… somehow make it past your birthday without getting married, then you would be able to get away.

But that task was more difficult than you have anticipated since your father was in charge of your schedule, everything was going smoothly and at perfect timing. There was nothing that you could do to delay the event.

“I need you to hold your breath for me, Your Highness”

For example right now, as the seamstresses adjusted the corset of your white dress to your body, your mind was reciting the laws again, trying to find some plothole that could be beneficial for you.

The grip you had in the chair tightened as they tied the corset on your back, helping you get into the skirt afterward. You didn’t say a word as the seamstresses chattered among them. You ignored the comments regarding your future marriage, or how beautiful your children will look if they look just like the King, or how lucky you were to be marrying into a rich kingdom.

“You will look beautiful on your wedding day, Your Highness,” The oldest lady said with a dreamy sigh “Your lover will not know what hit him”

“But my love will not be the one waiting at the end of the altar” You wanted to say, to scream at them for keeping up with the lie. You didn’t love Luke, you could never love him the way you love Calum. But Calum was not your fiance, he was just a secret.

You kept the tears at bay as you let them work over your dress, not daring to breathe too loud so you wouldn’t call their attention. They didn’t know that you were dying in the middle of a sea of white fabric and soft silk.

“There,” The young lady exclaimed as she finished the last touch of your veil, placing it carefully on your head “Oh, Your Highness. You look like a dream”

A dream trapped in a nightmare indeed.

You observed your reflection in the nearest window. You didn’t look like a child anymore; no, in front of you was the reflection of a woman, of a bride about to be sent to the slaughter of her liberty. A clockwork tragedy waiting to happen.

The white contrasted with your skin and hair, making you glow with the candlelight. It made you look more mature, more like a royal than you ever felt before. It was a beautiful work, but none of this ever felt right.

“You look just like your mother” The words of the older lady took your breath away. The memory of your mother’s face was already fading in your mind, you remember she was beautiful, but you couldn’t make the color of her eyes or the sound of her voice anymore.

“She would be so proud of you, Your Highness”

Would she? Would she have wanted this for you? If she were here, would she care or would she take your father’s side? Oh, what would you give to listen to one last piece of advice from her. To feel her embrace one more time, for her to tell you that everything would be okay.

You haven’t really felt the absence of your mother hit you as hard as of now because maybe with your mother here you wouldn’t feel so scared.

“Oh, don’t cry, princess” You didn’t even notice the tears running down your face until the lady pointed out “This is a happy occasion! There needn’t be any tears”

Only if she knew…

You accepted the silk handkerchief and dried your tears without saying anything, letting them help you out of your wedding gown as you tried on another one.

This was a black dress with roses embroidered along with the skirt and neckline. It was lighter than the wedding dress but the fabric was more delicate. The somber aspect of the dress, along with its sophistication, made you think of it as a better choice for your wedding day.

“Your father was very kind to host a party to celebrate your engagement, Your Highness. This is a perfect dress for the occasion”

You knew by now that none of your father’s actions could be considered kind. He organized this masquerade ball for his own benefit.

The King of RoseWood invited representatives of all the neighboring kingdoms and alliances that Ashton helped build, to the castle for a magical night of dancing and fun. But you knew he just wanted to parade the match you and Luke made in front of the world.

He wanted to show power, the kind of which someone would look at him and say “This is a man that demands respect” When in reality all he did was abuse his power and intimidate the ones closest to him.

The masquerade served as a punishment rather than a delight. He would put you under the spotlight and expect you to smile while he knows you’re dying on the inside. He will parade you around the room with the story of a good and lovable daughter, the little Princess that’s living the dream of a magical life in the arms of the man you love all thanks to the father whom she loved with all her heart.

He knew that this was all bullshit, and he rejoiced in the fact that you hated every single minute of it.

“The dress is absolutely stunning, Your Highness” Continued the older lady “What a lovely idea you had when deciding to use one of your mother’s old gowns and make it new again”

You gave her a small smile. It was a lovely idea, but not for the reasons they might think. This dress represented much more than just your mother and your wish of having her close in a moment like this. It represented going against your father in ways that only he could understand; it represented your heritage, how you didn’t forget who truly loved you and taught you how to be strong; it represented the image of the rebellion you set upon yourself, a sign that screamed “I will not stop even if you try”

It represented you.

“There is only one detail missing…” The young lady walked over to the dresser only to grab something delicate in her hands before presenting it to you: The mask.

Soft and made out of silk and with golden broderies across the eyes, the mask hid half of your face perfectly. If not for the tiara you must wear on your head, nobody would’ve been able to recognize who you were.

How ironic was it that in the night where you should be the center of attention, you wanted nothing more than to disappear.

*

The night was clear, all the stars and constellations were visible from where you were standing in front of your window. Your hands were touching the soft stones of the window frame as you tried to count your breaths.

You couldn’t help but look for him in the gardens, hoping you could see him waiting for you under your window, asking you to come to the tree where your meetings were held before everything went wrong. It’s only been a couple of days but you missed him, and with the way, he consumes all your thoughts it was almost impossible not to.

But he was not coming tonight, your father made sure that the help was not invited to the party since it was such an important event to make it “common”, so your meeting will have to wait until tomorrow.

Still, you imagined how it would be like if he were to attend the ball. You dreamt about his smile, how his eyes would shine once he spotted you standing there at the top of the stairs as he waited for you at the end of it. You wondered if he would like the dress and you wished you could show it to him.

You sighed as you imagined his hand taking yours, guiding you to the middle of the ballroom, and starting dancing with you as if nobody were watching. It’s been so long since your last dance with him and you couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of his clumsy feet stepping over yours in an attempt to teach you how to dance for your first ball.

Calum was always like that, caring and selfless until he couldn’t give anymore. That is one of the many things why you loved him, why you would never stop loving him.

But now you were forced to pretend to love someone else in front of strangers and people who didn’t care about you enough to notice how much you were hurting. The glamour of the night might hide it, but you know that there was only one person who you would much rather spend the night with; the only person who would not be there tonight.

“Y/N?” A voice called from outside your room, waking up from your dreams as you heard them knocking softly on the door “Are you ready to go?”

You pushed yourself from the window with a deep sigh, grabbing the mask that was laying on top of the bed before walking towards the door and opening it with an emotionless expression.

There, Ashton was waiting for you, pacing the hall until he heard the wooden door open. His whole body froze as his lips parted for a second when he took your appearance.

“You-” He said, choking up a little bit as he shook his head for a moment, thinking he might’ve seen a ghost “You look just like her…”

You were not expecting that comment. You knew the dress would affect your father, but you didn’t imagine it would have that kind of effect on Ashton.

But now, as he stood in front of you with wide, watering eyes and the faintest hint of a smile, you realized that you might not be the only one who misses your mother.

Ashton knew her longer, he used to spend every single moment with her along with you when you were nothing more than a child. When she died, you didn’t quite grasp the concept of death, but Ashton was the one who took it way harder. But, as a prince, he was not allowed to break down as any other normal kid would do when they lose a parent who was dear to them. No, he had to maintain his image and at the same time took it upon himself to raise you as your mother would.

He was the only loving family you’ve ever known. But he was also the only person who had ever broken your heart.

You looked at him with a sense of pity and understanding.

“I wanted to feel her with me tonight” You told him, these being the first words you exchanged with Ashton in a long time.

You noticed this also affected him. His eyebrows raised slightly and he took one step towards you, still bargaining with your feelings towards him.

Ashton took your hand in his, covering it completely as he softly spoke.

“You are her spitting image, Y/N/N. She has always been with you and lived through you. Everything you do reminds me of her and I promise you she would be proud of the beautiful, brave woman you’ve become”

His words struck you more than they probably should have. Ashton was never the one who spoke freely about your mother, not since you stopped needing him as much. He always kept that part to himself unless you asked.

He thought so highly of your mother and now he was comparing her to you. For some reason, this served as no comfort, but rather it angered you. Not because you didn’t think your mother was a horrible person, but because you thought that maybe if they - your father and Ashton - loved you as much as they loved her, you wouldn’t have to be in this position.

“The only difference is that mother’s family did not sell her for marriage,” You said bitterly, pulling your hand from Ashton’s grip as you saw hurt flash through his eyes.

“Y/N-“

“She loved our father, Ashton” You cried “For some reason she loved him and she married for love. Why can’t you let me do the same? Why can’t you help me and let me be happy? Am I to be trapped forever in a loveless marriage just because of the greed of this kingdom's leaders? I don’t even know what alliances we are keeping! In what world is it fair that I have to sacrifice my spirit just to please your egos?”

“You know it’s not like that-“

“For you, maybe! But you know exactly what father is doing and why he is doing it and you are taking his side! Ashton, you are just as guilty as he is” Your truth was spilling out of your mouth with nothing but desperation.

You wanted your brother to know how you were feeling, how much you were willing to fight for your freedom. For weeks you’ve been holding these words out of pride and pettiness, but you cannot go a day longer without letting him know just how much this is affecting you.

“I can’t trust you, Ash, and I can’t pretend that we are going to be okay after all of this no matter what happens in the end. You broke my heart, and I don’t think you understand to what extent”

Ashton stood in front of you with his head low “You hate me”

“I’m disappointed” You admitted, knowing you will have a hard time trying to hate your brother.

“Y/N, I’m just trying to do what’s best for the kingdom. What’s best for you!” He excused “You will be safe in the Vail, you’ll be a Queen and I know King Luke will treat you right. You have to understand that this is hard for me, too. But I can’t be here to protect you-“

“Protect me?” You interrupted him “Protect me from what?” He stayed quiet “Ashton?”

“Your Highnesses?” A guard called from the end of the hall “The King awaits”

*

“Announcing Prince Ashton Irwin, Heir to the Throne of RoseWood, and Princess Y/N Irwin, Future Queen of the Vail”

Wilsburg’s voice ran across the ballroom accompanied with two stumps of his scepter, calling everyone’s attention as you and Ashton descended the staircase together, claiming your rightful titles as everyone’s heads turned around to see you.

You kept your head high with every step you gave. All eyes were on you but you were not able to recognize anyone as their faces were covered with masks of every form, color, texture, and shape.

When you reached the end of the staircase, you and Ashton walked together to the center of the room where your father was standing with a winning smile plastered on his face. You were never prone to violence, but the feeling of wanting to punch your father in the face and erase that smile grew every minute.

You stood in front of your father and his court and gave him a courtesy in sign of respect. Your father’s eyes met yours once you stood straight again, and you couldn’t deny the feeling of pride that overwhelmed you when you saw the pure disgust in them as he took a glance at what you were wearing, knowing that this time he couldn’t do anything about it.

“My children,” He said with fake tenderness as he opened his arms in welcome.

It was so easy for him to fool the people who surrounded him, making everyone believe he was a good, caring, and loving father. But you could see clearly through his mask, no matter how much he tried to hide it - this time literally as his masks covered most of his face - he will never look at you with an ounce of love.

“King Luke Hemmings from the Vail and his loyal advisor, Sir Michael Clifford from Chesthire” Wilsburg announced, saving you from your father’s stare as the attention shifted back to the staircase where Luke and Michael were.

They walked next to each other, his movements identical as they elegantly descended into the party. They were both wearing the shades of blue that represented their Kingdom, each of them with matching masks that made them look regal, undoubtedly showcasing their royal status and importance.

Luke spotted your little broken family in the middle of the room, smiling a little bit and nodding towards you as he and Michael approached you with ease while the guests made way for them.

“Your Majesty” Luke bowed to your father, but his attention did not linger on him as much because soon his eyes were on you.

You noticed how blue his eyes looked under the mask, his blond curls falling perfectly to his shoulders and making him look like an actual angel.

“Princess,” He said, bowing just enough to capture your hand in his and bringing it to his lips, softly kissing your knuckles.

“Your Majesty,” You greeted him with courtesy, thankful that at least you’ll have some friendly faces in the crowd. “Sir Clifford. I must say you look very elegant today,”

You caught a glimpse of blush under the young guard’s mask, his green eyes sparkled at the compliment. His outfit was not as elegant as Luke’s, but his hair was pushed back in a short ponytail at the ends of his neck making him look like a prince.

“One can only try, Your Highness” He answered with a dashing smile “But, surely, no beauty compares to you, Princess. People should envy your exterior as well as your kind heart. My King is a lucky man” He said, looking back at Luke who was already smiling at him.

King Richard cleared his throat loudly, making the three of you turn your attention to him. His jaw was tight as he showed a smile to the other monarch.

“Now that the guest of honor has arrived,” Your father said with a loud, authority tone “Let the festivity begin!”

The small orchestra that worked under your father’s orders started to play lovely symphonies the minute those words came out of their King’s mouth. The other guests soon resumed their previous chatter and quickly got lost in the celebratory atmosphere, some grabbing drinks while others started dancing along with the soft melodies.

You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, fidgeting with your fingers as you watched how your father called Ashton’s attention and took him aside for a talk. Your eyes roamed across the room, feeling out of place as you caught glimpses of people passing by, not knowing anyone as they proceeded to ignore you.

You thought about how this will be your life from now on. How you will end up alone in some party you don’t feel comfortable in just to please the aesthetics of how a royal should be. People will not be interested in you, only your title, and they will judge you, envy you, hate you, and take advantage of you for it. You will not be Y/N anymore, you won’t have the chance to. You will be a Queen and that’s all people will want to know as you will be pushed away into someone’s shadow.

“Not much of a social butterfly, I see” You heard Luke comment next to you, leaning over to your side so he could whisper in your ear.

You gave him a small smile, “I was never really fond of parties,” You admitted quietly “Which is ironic, given that I always wanted to attend these kinds of gathering when I was a child”

Luke laughed softly, “I believe that is because you don’t know how to properly have fun at a party” He chuckled once he saw your confused gaze “Michael, have you seen Lady Thompson today?”

Michael, who was standing in front of you, smiled as his gaze followed Luke’s “I cannot believe she came here after the scandal”

“The scandal?” You asked, trying to see whom they were talking about.

“Oh, yes. Haven’t you heard?” Luke asked casually “Her poodle caught a case of hair eating fleas, and once they left the poor dog bald, they went for the main of hair Lady Thompson used to brag about”

Yours parted your lips in shock, but Michael continued “Not only that, but I heard she’s telling everyone how her hair grew back in just a few hours by putting some kind of magical mud she found near the river end”

Finally, your gaze fell into the person they were discussing and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“That’s not Lady Thompson, her name is Lady Judith from the Mountains of Chaversty” Your eyes fell back on Luke and Michael, who were trying to suppress a laugh “You are mocking me…”

“Not at all, Princess,” Luke said with a chuckle “We are just teaching you how to have fun”

“When we were kids, we used to sneak into the palace’s parties and hide under tables watching people pass and creating narratives about their lives” Michael explained “We started with a simple sentence, and then we created the most outrageous stories from them. The one who could come up with the craziest storyline would win”

“And somehow, I always ended up losing,” Luke smiled as Michael shrugged.

“It’s not my fault that you lack creativity,”

You smiled fondly at their teasing banter. You were amazed at how titles were forgotten when they were just talking to one another, it seemed so simple to them to call each other by their name as if they were normal people. And seeing that, somehow, made you feel less alone.

They taught you how to play in between their anecdotes and inside jokes, but you didn’t feel left out as you remember Luke’s words about Michael and how much he means to him. It was their little thing, their little moment in time that they could share with none other than each other, and still were kind enough to share some of that with you.

You spend a few hours playing the game and laughing along with them as they found you a worthy opponent with how many crazy stories you could pull out of your mind in an instant. One of the rules was that you couldn’t tell real names nor real gossips about those people to keep their integrity and the innocence of the game, so all your thoughts and outraged comments were taken lightly with fun. You even won a couple of times.

From time to time, people came to congratulate you and Luke on your engagement. You were glad to know that they could never notice how uncomfortable you looked thanks to the mask, but you were one hundred percent sure that he and Michael noticed how your posture changed and how you tensed at the mention of the wedding. Luckily, they brushed it off and carried on like it was nothing.

Sometime later, Luke went to grab some drinks for you and him, leaving you alone with Michael who quickly started a conversation with you about sword fighting and training.

You were too immersed in the conversation that you didn’t notice a person standing behind you until they cleared their throat.

“Pardon me, Your Highness,” You heard someone say. The familiarity of that voice sent shivers down your body and made your throat dry the second you heard it.

You turned around in a fast movement that made the skirt of your dress appear like it was floating above the floor. Your breath got caught up in your chest as you were suddenly hyper-aware of every inhale and exhale your body made the moment your eyes met his.

There he was, hiding under a white mask that matched his white and gold suit that once belonged to his father. There he was, standing in front of you and hiding in plain sight as his brown eyes were set on yours, taking you in as he let out a sigh in amazement.

“Calum…” You wanted to call him by his name out loud, to jump into his arms as you let the tears that were gathering in your eyes fall free from the happiness you were feeling at that moment. The kind of happiness only he could bring with such ease; the kind of happiness that you longed to experience all your life as long as he was next to you.

But you couldn't say that, you couldn’t blow his cover like that. If they found out he sneaked into the party, they would surely put him in the dungeon for god knows how long. He took a lot of risks coming here, and one word from you might throw that all away.

Instead, Calum noticed your hesitant shock, so he smiled softly as he said.

“Will you give me the greatest honor and pleasure of sharing one dance with me, Your Highness?”

You wanted to answer immediately, but according to the protocols a woman always needs their partner's permission to dance with a stranger. But Luke was not your real partner and Calum was not a stranger. You could feel your heart wanting to jump out of your chest from how strongly it was beating, but you couldn't identify if it was beating out of excitement or fear.

You looked over to Michael who was already staring at you with a curious gaze. He could easily see the unsaid pleading inside your eyes as you fought with the need to take this stranger’s hands in yours. The green-eyed man looked over between the two of you and was able to connect the dots in an instant.

Then, he simply smiled understandingly as he said “Just another secret between us, Princess” Looking at you like the way he did the morning you eavesdropped on your father’s conversation with Luke.

You let out a breath of relief as you nodded, silently thanking him as you watched him walk away just a little bit to give you and Calum enough privacy.

When you turned back to Calum, he looked as relieved as you felt, kindly offering his hand to you.

“May I take this dance, my rose?”

“You may”

Calum took your hand in his, kissing your knuckles as he softly guided you to the middle of the dance floor where several other couples were waiting for the next piece to start.

He placed a hand to your waist, stocking his fingers slowly over the fabric and bringing you closer to him as he held your hand with his other one. You blushed as you placed your free hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly to encourage him.

You both understood how recklessly dangerous this was; to be dancing in front of everyone as your fiance stood somewhere in the room, probably wondering where you were, and with your father and brother at such a close distance. But neither of you cared when your eyes met again through the masks.

You didn’t care about the risks as long as you were holding each other like this; when you finally felt free inside the cage.

A sweet melody filled the air, but you were too focused on Calum to even listen. You only realized the dance has started when you felt his fingers grace your waist tightly as he spun you around with delicacy, taking the lead as you followed his steps with care.

Memories of your first dance together flooded your mind and you couldn’t help but smile. You were only children back then, now it seems like another life.

“You learned how to dance…” You said fondly in a hushed tone, a blush covering your cheeks as you heard him softly chuckle at your comment.

“I had to. I didn’t want to embarrass myself the next time we’d dance”

“You knew there would’ve been the next time back then?”

“I always hoped I’d get to dance with you again after that night” He admitted, his eyes never leaving yours “You are the only one who I’d like to dance with all my life”

His feet moved carefully around your dress, following the other couples as they spun and changed places with their partners placing their hands together between their two bodies. A classical dance made for lovers, for one must never leave their partner’s eyes as they spin and turn just to fall back into their arms again.

It was slow at first, building its tempo as more instruments were added to the melody, making it enchanting, haunting as they took over the room with an admirable strength that only a feeling of utter power could describe as beautiful. It was supposed to represent passion and how it can dominate you, slowly and then all at once before you even realize it was there.

“You look absolutely beautiful, my rose,” He said once his hand was placed to your lower back, pulling you closer to him as you let your hand wander just inches from the back of his neck. “You always knew how to put flowers to shame, but tonight you look just as radiant as the moon itself”

“Calum…”

“Shh,” He whispered, “Let me tell you my truth while I still can, my love. For if this is one of the last times I shall see you, let me relish on how beautiful you are. Let me tell you all the compliments in the world and see me fall short since no compliment could ever be enough to capture just how enchanting you are”

You tugged on the hand that was holding yours.

“Why do I feel like you’re saying goodbye?”

“I’m not” Calum answered quickly “That’s the last thing I’ll ever do. But seeing you tonight just reminded me that I don’t tell you how much you mean to me. And I promise you that when we get out of this situation, I promise that I’ll tell you every day of my life”

“When,” You thought “Not if, but when. It’s just a matter of time”

To know that Calum hasn’t given up on you, on your love, meant the world to you. Most of the time you felt like you were battling alone as if no one was listening. But he was right there with you, even if you couldn’t see him or be with him all the time. He still hasn’t given up on you.

You felt it right there; the love. He was risking everything for you, to see you and be with you in the night where you’re supposed to celebrate your engagement. He broke every rule for a moment with you, knowing that you would do the same for him.

The music kept going, the crescendo was at its peak. Calum grabbed you with both his hands on your waist and picked you up as he turned around, placing you back on the ground to your initial position of one of your hands intertwined while the other rested on his shoulder and your lower back.

You giggled like children as he put you down, pretending the world didn’t exist as you swayed to the music. Tonight, you were a young couple enjoying their first dance together and loving every minute of it. Nothing else mattered.

You didn’t feel the stares of the guests or Ashton’s careful gaze as he tried to decipher who you were dancing with. You didn’t hear the whispers or notice how Luke hid his smile in his drink as he handed the other to Michael who looked at you in complicity. You didn’t see where your father has run off to, but you didn’t care.

You were in love. You were dancing with the love of your life; letting him guide your steps carefully as the crescendo started to go down and his grip on you tightened, not wanting to let go of this moment.

“I love you” Calum whispered just loud enough for you to hear.

You smiled like the sun “You are risking a lot by saying that here”

He shook his head “And I’ll risk even more if I have to. I cannot go a day without telling you I love you, my rose. Even if they throw me in the dungeon, I’ll find my way to you”

“Don’t say things like that,” You warned him as the melody started to fade “I’ll be damned if I lose you, Calum. This was reckless enough from both of our parts”

“And yet, you’re still dancing with me” He smiled as his movements started to slow down “My love for you is as reckless as it is endless, Y/N, and if I have to risk myself a thousand times; if I have to die a thousand times to love you freely then so be it. All of that will be worth it as long as you say it back”

You stare at him with tears in your eyes as the song reaches its end.

“I love you”

Calum stopped completely, letting go of his grip on your back but still holding your hand on his.

“And just like that, everything is worth it,” He said, placing a kiss on the back of your hand.

You smiled at him, chuckling through the unshed tears as you pondered in disbelief at just how lucky you are to love him and be loved by him.

“I’ll see you soon,” He said with a bow of his head.

“Aren’t you going to stay?” You knew you sounded a little desperate, but he just got here and, even though it was a little selfish on your part, you wanted him here just a little bit longer if possible.

Calum smiled “Only with the promise of another dance, my rose”

You nodded gracefully as Calum bowed once again before you watched him disappear into the crowd.

Your smile was still evident in your face as you gathered yourself and started to back up into the crowd, maybe try to find Luke to keep appearances until Calum asks for another dance.

“What a promising young man. Isn’t he, Y/N?”

The blood in your veins froze when you heard your father’s voice from behind you. You stood still, hoping you misheard him or mistaken him for another person that was passing by.

“Say, do we know him by any chance?” King Richard said with a mocking interest that made you want to run away right in that instant to find Calum and ask him to hide somewhere.

Instead, you turned around, and as calmly as you could, you answered:

“I’m afraid not, father. He didn’t tell me his name before nor after our dance”

“Didn’t I tell you never to talk to strangers, little Princess?”

He stood in front of you with a wicked smirk, not really waiting for an answer as he puffed his chest, showcasing the Kingdom’s shiny emblem on his fancy attire.

Your father lived for the adoration and fear of his subjects; he relished in your fear towards him for many years now, watching with delight as you submit to him out of fear or hope for any kind of attention he could show you. He adored the power he had over you, on how easy it was just to mess with your life as you’d allowed him to. And now, as you looked into his eyes you could see the fun he was having watching you tremble under his gaze, fearing that he might’ve discovered you.

The King looked you up and down and smirked as he announced “I believe it’s time for a father and daughter dance!”

The people who were gathering around the two of you started clapping and cheering as your father looked at you with a pleased gaze. You watched as the couples who were getting ready for the next dance suddenly left and were now standing to the side, anxiously waiting for the Princess and the King to have a sentimental moment.

From the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of Ashton who was making his way to the center of the room, pushing people as he tried to get to you; on the opposite end of the room, Luke drifted his gaze between you and Michael with a hint of worry in his eyes. Calum was nowhere to be found as your eyes searched for him in the crowd and you couldn’t help but feel scared for him.

King Richard ran out of patience. He grabbed your hand in what seemed a delicate touch, but only you could feel how his nails dug in the skin of your hand, forcefully pulling you to the dancefloor.

You felt disgusted as his hand gripped your waist, snapping his fingers to the musicians with his other hand before gripping your wrist and holding it high.

When the music started, he moved you around the dancefloor in stiff circles; there was no delicacy, no softness in his touch as he dragged you at the rhythm of one of the sweetest melodies you’ve heard.

“That dress does not belong to you” Your father whispered in between a smile. A tone of warning lacing his every word.

You felt the buckle of your knees weakened your step, but you didn’t dare move your eyes from his.

Too long you’ve been under his domain, living in fear of his next move whenever you were left alone with him. The bruises healed but the scars remain as your memory recalled the moments where he would get so mad at you just for being there, how he hated you just for looking like her.

All the pain, self-doubt, hatred, and fear he put you through… all the times you let him win because you didn’t think it could ever become worse… it all came crashing down into a feeling of anger and resentment that only served to give you strength for your next words.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, father” You defied him with fake ignorance “This is my dress. My mother left it for me. Don’t you like it?”

King Richard locked his jaw, his eyes spitting fire as you held his stare without moving an inch as you danced through the room.

“I know what you’re doing, Y/N,” He said with a wicked smile “And you won’t win. You can’t”

He laughed maliciously as he saw the shocked look in your eyes.

“Did you really think I wasn’t going to find out what you were doing in the library this past few weeks?”

Your heart stopped at the statement, feeling weak as he got you figured it out. But how? How could he know unless someone told him? Someone who knew what you were looking for…

The color drained from your face as you stuttered “I-I don’t know what-”

“Don’t play stupid, you insolent child” His grip on your wrist tightened, hurting you in front of everyone without raising any suspicion “I have eyes everywhere, ears in every wall of this goddamned castle and you think you can outsmart me by hiding in the library and looking through the books of laws? But you still haven’t found what you’re looking for, correct?” He asked, smiling as he saw how you frowned at the truth “And I’ll make sure you never will. My plans will not be ruined by a weak little girl”

“Plans?” You asked suddenly, realizing that he overshared something he might’ve not supposed to say “What are you-?” You started, before everything became clear, remembering Ashton’s words from a few hours prior “The wedding, the alliance… That’s all just a trick, isn’t it? You need something from them, from Luke…”

You smiled to yourself as you saw your father speechless for the first time.

“You need me,” You stated as a matter of factly “And you know that I won’t ever help you voluntarily, that’s why you are forcing everyone to do this. You know I can stop you, you know there is a way to stop all of this and you’re afraid…”

His fingers dug into your skin with force, leaving red marks that will become bruises, but you didn’t even flinch.

“You don’t want to play games with me, child” King Richard said, all niceties dropped from his face “I am the King!”

“And I’m not scared of you!” You smiled with sufficiency “Look around, father. You want to play? Let's do it. Hurt me in front of all these people, let them see how their monarch loves his daughter. You cannot hurt me here”

A sense of pride came over you as you finally stood up for yourself to your father. You finally saw a flash of fear pass by his eyes as he scanned the room and saw all the eyes on him.

“I will stop you”

But then, the King smiled like the devil.

“I’d like to see you try. Stop the music!” He suddenly yelled, making all the guests flinch at the sound of his voice.

Your movements came to a stop, but the grip he had on your hand just became tighter and tighter, crushing your bones as you tried to get rid of his touch.

“My daughter, Princess Y/N, just had the most wonderful idea!” He announced to the crowd as you looked at him in shock while he smiled “She told me she cannot wait to be married, just like any other lady” He joked, making the guest laugh at you.

Your father cupped your face by the chin, applying pressure on it so you wouldn’t be able to say a word as he exclaimed:

“And who am I to deny anything to my beautiful, beautiful little princess? The wedding ceremony will take place in two days! And you are all more than invited!”

The crowd cheered and clapped as you felt sick to your stomach. Two days?! How are you going to stop everything in only two days?

You released yourself from your father’s grip, tears clouding your eyes as you saw the winning smirk on his face.

“I warned you not to play games, little rose”

You stood in horror as you watched your father disappear into the crowd, accepting congratulations on your behalf and laughing with the other guest at your “eagerness” of getting married already.

“Y/N?” You heard Ashton said and he placed a hand on your shoulder “Are you-?”

You felt your breathing start to pick up, short and fast exhales came with almost no intake of air to your lungs. You were getting dizzy, disoriented as you analyzed the situation.

It was so fast… too fast. It all happened too fast.

“Y/N-” Ashton tried again, but you shook yourself from his touch.

“For fuck’s sake leave me alone!” You half-whispered, half yelled as you picked up your skirt and ran away from the ballroom.

The sound of your heels clicking on the floor was drowned by the sound of your breathless sobbing as you desperately looked for a way out of the castle.

You couldn’t stay here anymore. You needed to find Calum, see if he’s okay, and just leave. But with every step you took your worry grew stronger as thoughts of Calum hurt flashed through your head.

“Rose,” He said. Your father called you rose. He knew. He knew! And you couldn’t find Calum.

“Y/N!” A voice called from behind you, the sound of their heels coming closer as you tried to get away from there “Y/N, wait!”

You were almost at the door leading to the gardens, just a few steps from freedom when you felt a hand grip your arm, making you stop.

Luke stood there in front of you, almost breathless as his eyes filled with worry when he saw your tear-filled eyes and your trembling lip trying its hardest to suppress a cry.

Without thinking it twice, the young King pulled you into a hug. You were shocked at first but eventually, you relaxed in his arms as he let you cry onto his chest, hearing muffled apologies in between sobs.

“It’s okay,” He said softly, looking to his side to find Michael catching up with them at a distance “It’s okay”

“No!” You cried “No, it’s not! Luke I-” You stopped as the words of your father filled your brain “I have eyes everywhere, ears in every wall…”

You grabbed onto Luke’s hand and guided him outside the palace, looking over your shoulder in case someone tried to approach you.

“Tell Michael to stay at the entrance,” You told him.

Luke nodded as he signaled Michael to stay where he was, letting you take him away to the entrance of the woods where you were somewhat hidden from the palace while still being able to see it from where you were standing.

“What is going on?” Luke asked calmly “Why are we hiding? Why did you tell your father you wanted to marry this soon? I-”

“I didn’t do it! You have to believe me in this, Luke. Please” You begged “He is trying to hurt me, to hurt you! I didn’t want any of this to happen, please believe me that I had no idea that would happen”

Luke sighed, placing both his hands on your shoulders to try and calm you down “I believe you”

“You do?”

He nodded with a soft smile.

“Yeah, this is the first time I heard you say my name so I know this is serious,” Luke said “Why is he trying to hurt you?”

You didn’t answer, how could you? You trusted Luke, but did you trust him enough? How in the world would you tell your fiance that you are in love with someone else and that your father wants to punish you for it, that this whole charade of lies was created for dangerous means, and that he might also be in danger?

After a while, Luke asked softly:

“Is it because you love another, don’t you?” You froze, eyes filled with fear as you looked at him “It’s hard to pretend not to love someone when you’re close to them. I could see it while you were dancing with him, because it was him, wasn’t it? The man who owns your heart?”

You lowered your head, eyes filling with tears as you whispered “Luke-”

“It’s okay, love” He reassured, caressing your face and cupping your cheeks so you would look at him “I knew from the start that you belonged to another, and tonight I recognized that look, that complicit smile you only find in those whose life complete yours in a way where you didn’t think it was possible. I have never seen you as happy as you were dancing with him. You truly love him, do you?”

“More than anything” You answered without a doubt.

“And he surely loves you. It was more than obvious from the way he couldn’t stop looking at you throughout the dance. He’s a lucky man, and he knows how to give himself entirely to you. I don’t think I have ever seen a man so in love before”

“You sure know a lot about love, Luke,” You said surprising him “You know just as much as a man who is or has been in love before”

He chuckled lightly “That’s because you’re not the only one with a heart owned by another, Princess”

Luke averted his gaze back to the castle, a nostalgic cloud covering his baby blue eyes.

“Is your love waiting for you at home?” You asked softly, not wanting to intrude.

He chuckled softly before his expression changed from dreamy, to worry, to sad, you pretended you didn’t notice how his eyes became glossy from the tears.

“He’s the only home I’ve ever known…”

Then, you understood. Luke was not looking at the castle; he was looking at the person guarding the entrance, commanded by his King.

Your heart filled with an indescribable joy as you took your hand and placed it on Luke’s cheek, softly wiping a tear that started to roll down.

“I guess we are both stuck in this, huh?” He laughed, looking at you in the way only a strong bond could describe.

“But you don’t have to be,” He said, “Your love, do you know where he is?”

You started to shake your head, but then you remembered something.

“I think I might have an idea”

“Go to him.” Luke encouraged, kissing your knuckles before letting go of your hand “Michael and I will cover this entrance, I’ll tell everyone who asks that we were together talking and walking through the gardens the whole night so no one gets suspicious”

You could almost cry of relief at his words. You jumped into his arms and placed a kiss on his cheek while muttering a small “Thank you” before you started running through the woods, knowing exactly where to go and hoping that he’ll be there.

*

“Calum!” You sighed with relief, finally feeling like you could breathe when you saw him in front of your tree.

You took your chances coming here, not knowing if he was going to be waiting here or if he was somehow captured by your father's orders.

On your way to your secret place, your heart could not stop racing, the countless tragic possibilities flooded your mind as you ran through the woods, not caring if some parts of your dress got ripped because of your careless moving.

But there he was, sitting in one of the roots that were visible from the surface. He was not wearing his mask as he fiddled with it between his fingers until the moment he saw you.

“Y/N!” He breathed, getting up from his improvised seat and running towards you, involving you in a tight embrace. Only then, wrapped in your arms you understood Luke’s words.

Only there you felt truly at home.

“I thought something happened to you” You cried into his chest as you felt his hand soothe you while caressing your back “My father…”

“I know,” He said, placing a small kiss on the top of your head “When he announced the ceremony I could see a couple of guards coming my way, I had no choice but run”

Your whole body shook in terror when he said that. Now you knew your father was planning on hurting Calum now that he knew who he was. Unless he’d always known…

“Hey, hey, hey,” He said when he felt you cry again “It’s okay, my love. I got away, didn’t I?”

“Now, but you know what he’s capable of doing, Cal. You saw what he did at the party! He moved the wedding closer because he knew we’ve been searching for ways to stop it. He knows who you are and if anything- if anything happens to you, I-”

“Nothing is going to happen to me, okay?” Calum stated, pulling you away from him just enough so he could see your face and cup your cheeks with his hands “I will not let anything happen to me or you, I promise. I will be there for you, Y/N, always”

You nodded but still felt a cloud of darkness surrounding you. You trusted Calum more than anyone, but this might be the first promise that he might not fulfill. Your father is a powerful man that reigned by inflicting fear into his people and respect by his equals basing himself with lies.

If he could turn your world upside down with just a couple of words… what would he do to Calum?

“How did you know I was here?” Calum asked, trying to lighten the mood when he noticed you spacing out in sorrow.

You chuckled, lowering your gaze to the floor “I had a hunch”

“Were you followed?”

“No, Luke and Michael stayed to watch the entrance and the surroundings” Calum looked at you puzzled “We can trust them, it’s okay. Luke doesn’t want to marry me either”

“What a fool-”

“He doesn’t want to marry me because, like me, he is in love with someone else,” You said with a smile that quickly disappeared with your next thought “And now we’ll both be trapped in a marriage where we’ll be forced to be away from the ones we truly love”

“Then don’t marry him,” Calum said in a breath.

You rolled your eyes “Is not that easy, Calum. You know that-”

“That a King’s promise may never be broken. But what if the King promised something that can’t be possible?”

His tone was questioning, almost as if he wasn’t sure of what he was saying either and he was just thinking at the top of his head.

“Love, what are you-?”

“What if you couldn’t marry the King because you’re already married?” He asked, more certain this time.

You were about to answer him with another question, trying to understand what he was trying to say. But he continued, trying to explain himself better.

“You know the law commands that no one should remarry while still being married to another partner. What if- what if we get married first? That way-”

“That way the King’s promise will be null” You finished for him “Because the bride he promised is a married woman who cannot go over the law… Calum, that’s genius but how-?”

“I thought about it for a while when I came over the statement that ruled that no law should cancel another”

You looked at him confused, but with a smile showing on your face “And you’re telling me this now?”

He looked nervous.

“I-I didn’t want to put that pressure on you. It is a huge risk, not to mention a lot of responsibility as well, and I didn’t want to pressure you into marrying me if you weren’t sure you wanted that. I thought we could find another way out before the ceremony, so I kept it a secret for some time. I admit I was afraid of how you might react”

You answered him with a tearful chuckle as you jumped into his arms and crashed your lips to his as you caught him by surprise.

It was impossible to deny the happiness you felt as he responded to the kiss as eagerly as you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

“If you thought for a second that I would ever say no to that, then you might not know who you’re asking for her hand in marriage,” You said, smiling against his lips, chasing them into another kiss as a complete feeling of euphoria came over you.

Calum smiled, wrapping his arms around the back of your thighs and picking you up as he spun you around, laughing along with you as your giggles could be heard from all around the woods, for you just made him the happiest man on earth.

“If we are going to do this,” He said as he put you down “Let me do this properly”

You felt your eyes filled with happy tears as you watched Calum get down on one knee in front of you. Smiling at you with bright brown eyes that shined like the stars from Orion above.

“Y/N,” He started “My love, my rose. God knows this is not the way I planned this; in my dreams we are sailing away to a new land, traveling the world as we share our dreams and make them come true before our eyes. In my dreams I had a ring to give you, a pretty speech prepared, and a thousand lights to illuminate the way you looked, bringing the start to shame.

But I have no ring, and the words that are coming out of my mouth come straight from my heart. But the moon does shine on you, my love and you’ve never looked so beautiful as you do.

I cannot offer much. I’m no royal nor do I own stacks of land that could be ever worthy of you, my love. I cannot offer you a house, I cannot offer you fancy dresses or expensive jewelry, I cannot give you the kind of life royalty deserves. But I can give you all my love as we made the world our home. Because all I need, Y/N, to live a happy life is for you to be by my side if you let me.

I knew I wanted to marry you since the moment I saw you standing in that pile of dirt when we were nothing more than children venturing in a world filled with adult problems. I knew I loved you then, even before I knew what love is. And, if you let me, it would be my honor to love you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me, my rose?”

You tearfully nodded, covering your mouth with your hands as you tried to prevent a sob from getting out.

“Yes,” You said softly before repeating it loudly “Yes!”

In an instant, you threw yourself into Calum’s arms, wrapping your arms around his neck as he held you by your waist, helping you straddle his lap, one leg at each side of his hips, as he pushed your skirt to the sides so you’d be closer and more comfortable.

You wasted no time in pressing your lips against his, letting your hands play with his hair as he rocked your bodies together, deepening the kiss as far as you’d let him.

A little moan escaped your mouth when you felt his tongue press against your bottom lip. Calum took this opportunity to capture every sound you made as you granted him more access, parting your lips slightly and letting him explore more of you as you got drunk with his touch.

“Say it again” He begged, his lips now leaving kisses along your jaw as your fingers tangled and tugged on his hair, making him groan against your skin.

“Yes,” You whispered breathlessly.

You felt your skin on fire every time his lips trailed along your jaw and neck, kissing it gently as you melted against him. It wasn’t something new, you’ve kissed like this before and stopped before it turned into something else, but there was something about tonight.

You didn’t know if it was the proposal, the adrenaline, or the simple need of being together now more than ever since your future is still uncertain. But every single kiss, every sound, every move… it just made you crave it even more.

“Calum…” You breathed, tugging his hair to bring him even closer to you.

He muffled a groan into your neck, letting the smell of your perfume intoxicate him as you moved your hips closer to him, “Love, don’t do that” He whispered, almost begging you to stop as he knocked his forehead with yours “You know that if this goes any further, I might not be able to stop”

You’ve been intimate before, only not like this. It wasn’t uncommon for you to lay next to each other, whether it was on our bed or in the clear spot next to the tree. You would explore your bodies with soft touches and lingering kisses that always felt like the start of something but that never lead to anything other than whispered confessions and soft makeout sessions.

The need was always there, you both felt it before, but this time you had no intention of stopping.

“Then don’t,” You said softly, looking into Calum’s eyes as he raised his eyebrows in shock.

“Y/N…”

“Don’t stop, Calum, please” You whined, moving your hips again to gain some kind of friction between the layers of fabric as you felt how his cock hardened in his pants “I want it. I want you”

Calum stopped your movements altogether, holding your hips with one hand as the other one cupped one side of your face, making you look at him when he asked.

“Y/N, are you sure about this?” His breath was heavy, but his eyes were determined as he gazed into yours “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not one hundred percent-”

You placed your fingers on the top of his lips to silence him.

“I was yours since the day we met.” You whispered, a soft smile illuminating your face “I was yours the day I told you I love you. I was yours when we danced tonight and I’ll be yours forever for the rest of my life. Make me your wife, Calum. Be mine and make me yours again”

Something shifted in Calum’s eyes at the sound of your words as lust settled all over them. He wasted no time in pulling you closer to him, capturing your lips in a much more heated kiss.

It was entirely different from whatever you’ve experienced before with him. This kiss was sloppy, a mixture of tongues and teeth as he bit your bottom lip. The sounds that came from both of you died in your throats as you desperately acted upon your desires.

You pulled apart for one minute as you took the top part of your dress, throwing it god knows where as you tried to untie the knots of your corset. Calum took it upon himself to start kissing your neck again, this time with more freedom to roam across your collarbone. “Let me,” He said softly after a while, letting his hands take over yours as they started to undo the knots one by one.

Once you were free, you felt Calum’s hands cup your breasts, massaging them as you moaned softly, still moving your hips with a more steady and fast rhythm against his groin looking for some sort of release.

“Y/N,” Calum moaned, taking his hands off your breast down to your hips, halting your movements once again “Lay down for me, my love” He whispered, kissing your earlobe as you felt goosebumps all over your body.

Calum took off his suit jacket, laying it on the floor so you’d be more comfortable. You sat back on your elbows as you watched him take off his shirt, leaving him with his chest exposed to you.

Your eyes widened at the sight of him shirtless on top of you. You’ve seen him shirtless before, but the context is different now that you can admire his well-defined abs under the moonlight. You couldn’t resist letting your fingers caress his chest with barely-there touches over his muscles and nipples, making him let out a breathy moan as soon as you did.

But before you could go any further, he grabbed you softly by the wrist.

“Not yet, Princess,” He said, lust laced in every word as he let your hand go to start working on getting you out of that skirt and underwear.

He worked quickly, leaving you completely bare in front of him. You felt his eyes on you and your first instinct was to cover yourself even though shame was the last thing in your mind right now. Despite that initial response, you felt safe with him, the safest you felt in years.

Calum smirked playfully, shaking his head as he grabbed both your hands in his and pinning them over your head “Don’t hide from me, my love” He said, lips hovering over yours but never touching them as he started kissing the spot under your ear, leaving you breathless in a second.

You closed your eyes and let yourself drift in pleasure as you felt Calum’s lips trail down to your breasts, kissing each one of them softly around the pebbled nipples, sucking and biting them as you felt your arousal grow with every new sensation.

Once he felt satisfied with the way you were moaning, he started kissing along your chest and down to your stomach, leaving a trail of fiery kisses until he stopped before reaching your core.

Calum let go of your hands which immediately flew to his hair when he started kissing the inside of your thighs, getting closer but not close enough to where you needed him most.

“Calum,” You moaned, feeling his breath over your entrance.

“Say it again,” He asked, kissing your right leg as his hands wandered over to your ass, lifting you up slightly and bringing you closer to him “Say yes, again”

“Yes.” You said in one breath.

“Again” He demanded softly, kissing you over your mound.

“Yes.”

“Again”

“Yes, oh...”

No sounds came out of your mouth as he placed his lips over your clit, kissing it softly at first before starting to lightly suck on it. You then felt him lick a long stripe up your center, making you shiver each time as he always ended up at your clit, gathering your arousal in his tongue and moaning at the taste, sending glorious vibrations up to your core. He smiles when he feels you tug on his hair with every breathy moaned you let out, letting him know that you were enjoying this as much as he was.

Soon, you felt his fingers trace along your folds up and down, stopping at your entrance a couple of times before he pushed the first finger inside, making you both moan at the feeling.

Then, a finger became two as Calum started to move them inside and out of your tight hole at a fast pace while his lips remained attached to your clit, licking and sucking over it until you reached your first climax of the night.

Calum licked you through your orgasm, lapping on your arousal until he heard you whine thanks to the oversensitivity. Then, he pulled himself up, kissing a trail from your stomach to your lips.

You were seeing stars behind your eyelids as you tasted yourself on his tongue, moaning as you felt his hard, clothed cock brush over your sensitive core.

“Calum,” You whimpered as he pulled away from his lips to let his head fall to your side, kissing your neck with zeal.

“Tell me what you want, my love” He whispered in your ear, making your whole body shiver under him as he kissed your cheeks tenderly “Tell me what you want and I’ll give you the world”

“You, only you”

He smiled, prompting himself onto his elbows to kiss your lips again.

“I’m yours”

It took no time for Calum to get rid of his pants and thrust into you, letting you adjust to the new feeling as he kissed the pain away while he started to thrust slowly into you. His hand cupped your face as he kissed you over and over again until you begged him to speed up the pace, letting the sting of pain become one of pleasure every time Calum moved his hips into you, hitting every spot with ease.

You became one big pile of tangled limbs and shared pleasure, moaning and groaning your feelings of ecstasy as you held each other as close as you could. One hand caressing your sides while you alternated between playing with his hair and dragging your fingers down his back, feeling every muscle work as you wrapped your legs around him, letting him deeper and deeper each time.

You got drunk with the sound of each other’s moans as you reached your climax. Calum swears he’s never heard a more beautiful sound than his name falling from your lips in total bliss as you clenched around his cock, making his thrusts slow down as he came with the taste of your name still on his lips.

"I love you," He said with a smile as wide as the sky, pulling you closer against his naked body "God, how I love you, my rose"

You kissed his lips softly, humming an "I love you" in between a content smile before saying:

"Calum?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Thank you for loving me"

You woke up sometime later, still wrapped around his arms as his jacket covered you both from the cold night. You let out a breath of relief as you realized that the moon was still high up in the sky, meaning that you still had a few hours before having to go back to the castle.

Calum slept peacefully next to you, holding you close as he let his chin rest above your head. You kissed his Adam's apple and softly giggled when he pulled you closer to his chest, you knew that you would always be safely wrapped around his arms and there was no other place you’d rather stay than with him.

It was almost incredible to believe that by tomorrow night you’d finally become husband and wife and that this will be your life forevermore.

No more castles, no more parties, no more dangers nor royalty duties. You will be together, finally be free.

.

.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @fivesecondsofonedirection @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @major5sosstan @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ashley @alltimesos @girlwhosimps @wontlastimokwiththat @yeah-and69 @fckingpernico @multistann @averageantichrist @a-darneddarling @tpwkcth @f-mu @kindahumanbutalsoinsane @lemonswizzle

[sepublic]

Reset Eda?

           So @kprapture brought up the idea of Eda being de-aged back to her pre-curse self, the typical antics she’d get into with Luz… And how Lilith might consider the idea of making this reversal, this reset, permanent- So Eda could live the curse-free life she properly deserved, with a support network of a wiser Lilith, Luz and King, a Hexside that would let her study multiple tracks, etc. And this idea is just messing me up, because…

           There are two ways to approach this. Option A, Reset Eda has no memories of her original life growing up, getting old from the curse, meeting Luz, etc. Option B, Reset Eda DOES retain those memories;

           Option A would be messed-up, because it wouldn’t just kill the Eda we know… It’d effectively wipe her out of existence. If there’s an afterlife for the Boiling Isles, which there probably is since the Oracle Coven exists, and we’ve already seen at least one ghost in this show… Then, I don’t see Eda choosing this option on her deathbed, because then she’d never move on to the afterlife, maybe never get to see her parents, and then catch up with her loved ones when THEY inevitably die…

           The thing about Eda, is- I think she doesn’t regret her life. She doesn’t regret the decisions she’s made, and ultimately she’s content where she’s ended up, especially since Luz and King are there. Having written about her in the past, I see Eda as someone who if given the chance to change it all, would have it remain the same; Yeah, her life isn’t ideal, but still. Eda owns what happened to her, she makes it her own, and I don’t think she’d want to let go of that, alongside her sense of identity…

           Now, there ARE better ways to learn the things that Eda, ways that are less painful and torturous. Whatever Eda learned from the curse, she could’ve easily learned without it- It’s why she’s so adamant as a teacher towards protecting Luz from the traumas that Eda herself endured… Because Eda knows that Luz can learn just the same things she did, without having to go through that pointless pain. And maybe some lessons just aren’t worth it, but what’s done is done so you may as well make the most of the knowledge you got. That trauma isn’t going away… Except in this scenario, it could.

           It’s kind of an ethical dilemma, and I could potentially imagine Eda maybe, just maybe, considering ‘sacrificing’ her entire existence up until this point, to pave the way for a better, happier Reset Eda… I’ve talked a lot about Eda being used to loss and trying to weaponize and make the most of it by turning into a sacrifice for the greater good, for someone else to benefit from her tragedies. Maybe Eda might see it this way- Giving up her life so some other kid, as this Reset Eda would be considered ‘different’ from her, can have a happy and better life…

           But the thing is; Eda’s life is saving, she knows this, an entire crowd knows this and protested against Belos over this indisputable reality. She doesn’t have to die, just to ‘save’ a life that neither exists, nor is meant to… Eda can invest that energy into other kids who already exist, or are intended to be by their would-be parents, and she certainly doesn’t have to DIE just to make life better for them! Eda can even invest that energy into making herselfhappier, her own life better… Yes, her time on this world has unfortunately been shortened thanks to the curse, but it’s still there and remaining, and Eda DID have plenty of time with it that she ultimately made the most of.

           I’ve written about it before, but I think that Eda would ultimately decide not to change a thing, she made it clear to Lilith that living as a wild witch would’ve happened even without the curse, and that was Eda’s intention as a child before she learned of the curse no less. And, I can see Reset Eda agreeing… Because if Reset Eda is presented with this reality, with Luz and King and Lilith explaining how she grows up with a curse, and the kind of life she lives… Well, we see how young Eda casually tosses aside the Coven System to her sister. She’s very much Go Big or Go Home, the kind of person who fully commits to her own actions and owns them, fully accepting what happens. I think Reset Eda would at least appreciate the perspective she’d get from her cursed life, and how it can be helpful towards vouching for that kind of thing to never exist for anyone else…

           Now, Reset Eda might hesitate about getting cursed- But if it’s to save and retain herself in a sense, her own actions and accomplishments, a life she made for herself and was proud of? I think Reset Eda would shrug, and ask Lilith and the others to bring it on, to bring her back to the present- Because she’s impatient to get to that point, I imagine Reset Eda would ‘miss’ her life as Eda the Owl Lady, sister to Lilith, surrogate mother to Luz and King, creator of Owlbert, begrudging acquaintance of Hooty, etc.

          Her cursed life wasn’t ideal, but there’s something good and irreplaceable to it, just as each and every person is unique in their own special way; And Reset Eda wouldn’t want to lose something that had existed and is at stake here, just for a life that never actually did. Even if her life was garbage, well- Eda is always someone who finds meaning and value from garbage, and even creates it when none is there, or disagrees with the purpose others originally intended anyway! She says how she feels about what she has in life, not others!

           Reset Eda might agree with her older self about getting that better life for other kids, like Luz, because that’s what Eda DID work on doing, and she made some decent success at this no less! Of course, I can imagine some initial angst and dilemma, as Reset Eda isn’t as wise as our Eda- So it might take her longer to reach this conclusion, or she’d be a bit more hesitant. But then again, Young/Reset Eda openly defied the Coven System to the Emperor’s Coven own face, publically… So she seems both proud and unapologetic about her choices, to the point of fully owning the consequences and trouble that come with them- Just like our Eda. We don’t know the exact differences between Young Eda and our Eda, but we know that there are a lot of fundamental similarities in ideals.

           Plus, I imagine that if Reset Eda were to be undone, and returned to the Eda we know… Well, she’d retain her memories of having been ‘reset’, as a young Eda who suddenly woke up surrounded by Luz and King and a much older Lilith, and got to know them and her own future before making the decision to keep it. It’d be sweet for Eda to reflect on what just happened and what she missed, to look at Luz and the others… And then smile and nod, remarking that she’s really missed this and definitely wouldn’t have given it up for anything. Besides, it’s not like she’d deprive Luz and the others of the Eda they know and love, she’s not going to do away with that Owl Lady, any time soon! Reset Eda would still ‘remain’, she just wouldn’t have lived out THAT life… In exchange for retaining her cursed one. Harsh, but she’s not losing anything that was ever actually, already there.

          And Reset Eda, the one we meet after the initial reversal, she’d still exist, she’d still live on in our Eda… The only thing she’d have lost was the potential of that new life, but would she really give up her past one for that? Young Eda couldn’t bear being at the top of a system that hurt and oppressed others… And while she may be apprehensive about getting cursed, it’s not like she has to relive it, just bring back the effects, and restore her old self. Like I said, Young Eda already planned to be a wild witch; I think she’d be fine with a curse, if it meant saving her old life and self in the process, VS sacrificing it entirely just to have no curse…

           …But, this gets us onto Option B; The idea of Reset Eda retaining her memories, in which case… She’s literally just OUR Eda, just with a heavy dosage of Youth Elixir and no curse. In which case, I can definitely see her being a lot more open to the idea… Maybe a bit hesitant, because she doesn’t want to outlive her sister, Lilith- But Lilith would definitely reassure Eda that the two will catch up in the afterlife anyway, when Eda herself has to inevitably kick the bucket, curse or no curse. I could see Eda having concerns about the logistics of being much younger, but in the end… I can legitimately imagine Eda accepting this option alongside the others. It’d be weird having the body of a very young kid with the mind of a fully-grown adult, and no doubt very awkward… It’d definitely make most romantic relationships a very touchy subject that’s probably to be avoided; But in the end, I think Eda’s already content with the familial bonds she has with the others.

           Eda would hate to have her youth restored, and be cured of the curse while watching Lilith bear it on her own… But I could see Lilith reassuring her that she already lived plenty of years without the curse, anyway. And she still has a support network, her worst guilt and sins would be alleviated almost entirely… I think Lilith would be very much fine, because she’s going to grow old and die either way. This way, however, she has Eda the whole way through- Because if we’re being brutally honest, regular Eda is probably going to die of old age before Lilith. So to Lilith, having her little sister, happy and living a new and better life, while still retaining her old one… Having THAT Eda by her deathbed, that’s much better than being without Edalyn entirely.

           Plus, maybe a youth-restored Eda could just… Douse an aging potion to match her biological age with her chronological one, if she really had reservations- Doing so would still leave out the curse, depending on how this reset works. And, who’s to say Eda won’t try to apply this spell to Lilith as well? Have them BOTH have their bodies reset but their memories and life retained… Of course, this option sounds extremely ideal, so I can see it not happening for this exact reason; As well as any other variation of Option B, for that matter.

           Lilith, however… This is Lilith we’re talking about here. I’ve talked about how she may have already learned some lessons, and is likely bound to do so before this Reset option occurs. If it were Option B, it’d probably go on without too much of a hitch… But Option A? In a scenario where Reset Eda decides that she wants to go back to her old, cursed life? I can see Lilith not only disagreeing, but… Maybe becoming SO adamant, that she refuses to undo the reversal, at any cost! Because to her, Eda’s lost potential, the life she deserved but never got; It’s her worst sin by far. It’s her worst guilt that killed and ate her up from the inside for decades, and it’d be SO easy, so relieving to just let it go, to just undo it… While STILL making things right, right?

           The thing about Lilith is that she’s willing to go lengths for Eda- Even go as far as threatening Eda’s own kid, Luz, just to cure her curse. Sure, she’d have made some character development by then and already has… But on the chance of actually curing Eda’s curse, AND saving her from all of that trauma and pain, getting her that life she never got- Something not even Belos could provide? That’s going to really complicate things, and I can see Lilith conveniently ignoring the reality that this option would kill our Eda, because… She really doesn’t want to dwell on the ethical dilemma of it all, she just wants an easy out and it’s so easy to relapse into this mistake, especially since it’s a much more understandable scenario for her.

           But, again- Lilith has learned to respect Eda’s decisions, and if she really retains and applies her lessons, then she’ll do so, even in this case where it seems like she could have it all… Because she DOES love our Eda, the one who grew up cursed, she does do so unconditionally- So it WOULD hurt her to sacrifice that Eda for a new, reset one… And that’s something Lilith is going to have to acknowledge. That this isn’t just her own loss she has to factor in, it’s Luz and King’s and the others’… On top of Eda herself being deleted and not exactly wanting that. Could Lilith bear to kill her own sister? Obviously not… And it’d be a painful and begrudging realization, a frustrating one that Lilith would so badly want to ignore, to set aside…

           But, she can’t- She knows it deep down, in her heart, and once it’s there, it’s there to stay, just like the curse… Once again, Lilith is going to have to be mature, because the LAST time she did something harmful to Eda, believing it was for her own good- It didn’t pan out. And the last time she harmed Eda just for her own selfish desires –the curse- that REALLY didn’t play out well… Lilith is no doubt going to be grappling with misguidance, a genuine desire to help Eda, her own selfish desire to alleviate her guilt, etc. She’s going to confuse how much of herself is doing this for Eda, or just for her own conscience… But when it becomes clear that Reset Eda wants to go back, Lilith is going to have to admit that once again, she’s being selfish and making Eda’s decisions for her.

           Especially with Luz and King to serve as pretty harsh reminders of what Lilith did, and force her to reflect on what she’s done in the past, to always remember that. Lilith is going to hate it, she’s going to hate herself the entire process through, and maybe feel even worse for letting this opportunity slip through her fingers… Having hope built up, only to be brought crashing down, harder than ever- But I imagine that once Lilith reunites with HER Eda, the one who grew old and cursed… She’s going to realize how much she missed her, and be glad she got her sister back. She might mourn the potential of Reset Eda, but that life never existed and wasn’t going to- And again, like Eda, Lilith can invest her energy and efforts into making lives better for other people… And Eda REALLY wants Luz to have it good, so…!

           Still- Imagine Lilith being so desperate, so drawn to the idea of erasing and relieving her past mistakes, believing that she’s helping Eda that she… Legit has to fight Luz and Reset Eda over bringing back OUR Eda- And maybe during the fight, we get to see Reset Eda’s prowess as a child, leading to Lilith reminding her that doesn’t it feel good to have full, unrestricted access to magic? Isn’t Eda glad she has it now, surely doesn’t want to LOSE this, does she…? Kind of a callback to Agony of a Witch, how Lilith goads and taunts Eda about the curse, as if to smugly remind Eda why she should join the Emperor’s Coven to be cured.

          Surely Eda has to see her point by now, obviously Eda can’t be in so much denial when the proof is right there in her face, because this fight makes it so obvious. In Agony of a Witch, the duel made it clear how much magic Eda has lost and is losing and it’s why she needs a cure- And now this time, the duel makes it clear to Reset Eda how much she has to lose, and what’s at stake for her. Either way, attention is drawn to Eda’s magical ability in that fight and how it’s doing, what she WILL lose should she not listen to Lilith, and how it must be preserved…

          And that’ll make Reset Eda hesitate, because she knows that she’ll lose that magic if she goes down the cursed path… And that might cause the most reservations about her choice- Up until she sees Luz fighting alongside her, sees how proficient Luz is with Glyphs… And then Reset Eda realizes she still learned bile-magic as an adult, and got the chance to start with glyphs as well! She’s even got Owlbert, so Eda won’t be entirely bile-less… Reset Eda would realize she’d lose magic, but Luz would show her that she doesn’t have to completely give up magic, just one form of it. And, yeah- Ideally, Reset Eda could grow up with access to bile magic AND glyphs. But again, considering who’s at stake here… Reset Eda would see it as simply not worth it, especially when her own self seemed pretty pleased about the outcome- And our Eda is a lot older, wiser, and more experienced… Our Eda managed to live her own life, help people and inspire them in a lot of ways, and taught Luz!

          Our Eda made Owlbert, established the Owl House, became reputed as an unstoppable criminal and one of the hottest witches around… I think Reset Eda would consider our Eda as someone worth looking up to, and emulating. It’s kind of funny- The idea of her looking to herself, the best version of herself, as a role model… Which I guess just echoes what the Oracle Sphere told Gus- That he’s always the best version of himself. Sometimes who you are and are bound to become is great enough as-is, and I think that’s a realization that Eda figured without any divination artifact… If Eda really is so sure of herself, then she can trust the decisions she’s made in the future- Especially since Reset Eda is already leaning heavily towards those beliefs herself!

          And Lilith… if Lilith realized that she needed to listen to Eda and trust her, back when they were kids AND when they were older… Then she’s going to have to stop. Because Our Eda and Reset Eda are making it obvious what she’s choosing, and Lilith needs to recognize that while she shouldn’t avoid helping others- Disregarding what people choose for themselves because she thinks it’s best for them, is something that has only caused others and herself pain in the past… It’s something Lilith deliberately tried to avoid for years, even, when she insisted on protecting Eda from the Emperor’s Coven, until the allure of Belos’ cure and his threats got to her. Does Lilith want to erase her progress, her lessons? Obviously there were better ways to learn such wisdom than from cursing her own sister…

          But in the end, what’s done is done. If her lessons and development truly stick, then she’ll finally learn to let go when she has every reason and desire, both selfish and altruistic, in the world not to. Because when she realizes she’s fighting her own sister again- Lilith is going to remember how Eda lost her magic because of this. She’s going to remember how much it breaks her heart to be at odds, that Reset Eda WILL hold this against her… And Lilith can’t just be content with losing her sister’s love under the hopes that Eda herself will fare better without her. Just like that fateful ‘duel’ when they were kids, Lilith will realize that she’s really only doing this for herself- And she’ll stop what she’s doing in remorse, because she can’t let history repeat itself in her attempts to undo it.

          This would just leave an even stronger impact on Reset/Our Eda when it’s all over… And this kind of respect towards Eda’s autonomy, this final concession of her choices, will really show to Eda that Lilith now truly understands her after all this time, and I think Lilith will have a new future to look forward to with her sister because of this. Eda DOES want to be with her sister, just on her own proper terms… So maybe Lilith can properly provide this happiness for once, and continue to do so! Don’t take it away like last time… Because Eda also cares for Lilith as well and knows she’ll be happier this way, and THAT makes Eda happy in her own way! It’s not hopeless, either- Lilith is sharing the curse, and they’ll do it together as always… Lilith may have hurt Eda in her attempts to be together, but that doesn’t mean separating the two will make them any better or happier- Not when years of loneliness has indicated otherwise.

           And I can just imagine Lilith and Luz having a heartfelt, teary goodbye to Reset Eda… Before she casually explains that she’ll still be around when she goes back to normal, she’s just giving up a life that never came back to be, to return to the one she always had! And as I said before… Reset Eda returns to normal, she opens her eyes, and proves that she remembered everything that happened then; And she appreciates how she can affirm her decisions in life, because when given the choice to undo them… Eda decided to keep going through with it, even knowing exactly what laid ahead of her- Maybe even precisely because of this, because look around her! That’s what she’s getting… Eda knows for sure that she wouldn’t change a thing, and it’ll just make her so much more proud and confident of who she is and what she does because of this!

[roselovesa]

have you seen CHOI HYEJIN ? i heard SHE is a FLORIST at THE GREEN MEADOW. they’re 21 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for one year. they tend to be BENEVOLENT & MAGNANIMOUS, but rumor has it they can also be CAPRICIOUS & FINICKY. 

｡*    ❪       📂   𝐂://STATISTICS.

name: choi hyejin 

age: twenty - one

sign: pisces sun / libra moon ( click )

sexuality: bisexual

gender: cis woman ( she/her/hers )

occupation: florist , pianist, & composer 

alignment: chaotic neutral

｡*    ❪       📂   𝐂://BIOGRAPHY

* note: minho’s little sister !! <33 

📍   𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙽𝙴 - 𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚞𝚕, 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑 𝚔𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚊.

born   as   the   youngest   child   of   a   nurse  &   a   teacher,   hyejin’s   childhood   was   nothing   out   of   the   ordinary.   her   love   for �� music   had   always   been   apparent   —  her   mother   noticing   early   on   that,   whenever   her   daughter   was   throwing   a   hissy   fit,   all   she   had   to   do   was   play   some   classical   music   in   order   to   get   her   to   calm   down

hence,   it   shouldn’t   have   been   a   surprise   that   her   father   decided   to   teach   her   how   to   play   the   piano   at   the   age   of   6.   &  by   the   age   of   9   she   was   labeled   a   child   prodigy.   hyejin   would   often   participate   in   competitions,   attend   music   camps,   &   play   in   front   of   anyone   who   was   willing   to   listen.   her   talent   was   undeniable,   truly

in   the   years   to   follow   she   would   pick   up   other   instruments   here   &   there   (   violin,   guitar,   french   horn   ),   but   nothing   seemed   to   stick   as   much   as   piano   did.   hyejin   would   also   dabble   in   writing   her   own   music,   often   with   the   help   of   her   father

&   if   there’s   one   thing   hyejin   learned   it’s   that   practice   makes   perfect.   by   the   age   of   11   she   managed   to   become   an   extremely   valuable   asset   for   her   school’s   yearly   musicals   as   she   composed   about   60%   of   the   songs   performed   <33

she   went   viral   on   social   media   a   few   times   as   well,   her   youtube   channel   accumulating   about   1.6M   views   by   her   4th   upload.   she   would   frequently   get   interviewed   around   that   time   as   well,   with   professionals   often   commenting   on   hyejin’s   bright   future

📍   𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚢, 𝚄𝚂𝙰.

her   brother   getting   injured   on   tv   was   a   catalyst   of   change.   hyejin   convinced   her   parents   to   let   her   move   to   new   york   in   order   to   take   care   of   him,   being   well   aware   her   life   had   considerably   dulled   the   moment   he   decided   to   leave   a   few   years   prior

the   move   went   smoothly,   &   with   opportunities   lining   up   in   front   of   her,   she   decided   to   get   a   bachelor’s   degree   in   music   composition,   her   accomplishments   allowing   her   to   attend   one   of   the   most   prestige   universities   in   the   city

it’s   there   where   she   fell   in   love   with   a   guy   who   she   deemed   to   be   a   mentor   of   sorts  ;  always   pushing   her   to   do   better   &   achieve   unattainable   perfection.   it   had   been   so   easy   for   hyejin   to   trust   him   with   her   work,   with   him   appearing   to   be   the   more   experienced   &   wiser   of   the   two.   he   was   a   child   of   a   famous   musician   after   all,   mastering   the   arts   of   sweet   talking   unassuming   girls   with   a   whole   lot   of   empty   promises

so   when   their   uni   announced   a   proposal   of   a   student   being   able   to   apply   for   an   internship   that   would   skyrocket   their   careers   right   into   stardom,   hyejin   was   well   aware   this   was   an   opportunity   that   couldn’t   be   missed.   her   boyfriend   mentioned   how   he   wouldn’t   apply,   seeing   his   father   could   offer   him   a   job  easily,   but   mentioned   how   she   should   send   her   work   to   him   so   he   could   look   it   over   &  help   her   out

😬

“  hey   babe,   i’m   sorry   to   tell   you   this   but   the   piece   you   sent   me   just   isn’t   that   good…   i   can’t   quite   put   my   finger   on   it,   but   the   composition   is   just   wrong.   it’s   okay,   though,   you’re   only   a   freshman   &   still   have   a   lot   to   learn,   we’ll   work   on   it   together.   but   maybe   forget   about   the   internship   for   now   ?   i’m   sure   with   some   improvement   my   father   will   manage   to   get   you   an   even   better   job…   anyways,   love   you,   talk   to   you   soon   ”

crestfallen   &   humiliated,   hyejin   accepted   the   fact   that   it   would   be   simply   too   embarrassing   to   submit   the   sheets   of   music   she’d   written.   it   was   two   weeks   later   that   her   boyfriend   abruptly   ghosted   her,   only   for   her   to   find   out   he’d   gotten   the   internship   by   applying   with   the   composed   music   she   sent   him.   he   denied   any   claims   of   stealing,   &   when   hyejin   told   her   professor   about   the   situation   he   basically   wrote   it   off   as   well

📍   𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴: 𝚜𝚊𝚗 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚘, 𝚄𝚂𝙰.

in   the   next   few   months   it   felt   like   her   life   had   crumbled   down   around   her,   hyejin’s   future   career   appearing   grim.   minho   &   her   decided   to   move   to   san   verto   in   order   to   find   peace,   a   fresh   start   waiting   for   them   there

she   took   up   multiple   side   jobs   to   get   her   music   out   there   again,   while   also   trying   to   push   past   the   writer’s   block   she   experienced   due   to   stress.   on   week   days   she   would   give   rich   kids   piano   lessons   after   uni   &   bloom   under   the   praises   their   parents   would   give   her   skills.   on   the   weekends   she   would   play   at   a   5   star   restaurant,   hoping   the   right   people   would   discover   her   there

having   lost   the   comfort   music   once   gave   her,   hyejin   decided   to   take   up   a   job   as   a   florist   &   keeps   herself   busy   tending   to   flowers.   it   isn’t   her   ideal   career   plan,   but   at   least   she’s   moving   forward   with   her   life

throughout   the   years   she   kept   uploading   videos   of   her   playing   piano   on   youtube,   each   video   getting   about   900k   views   on   average.   it   allows   her   to   be   fairly   recognizable   on   her   own   accord,   although   most   of   her   fame   comes   from   being   associated   with   her   brother.   she’s   starting   to   climb   in   popularity,   though,   spending   some   of   her   time   to   focus   on   crafting   a   stronger   social   media   presence

｡*    ❪       📂   𝐂://PERSONALITY.

🦋   𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙾𝙶𝚈 - 𝚜𝚞𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚜, 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊

click me !

empathic,   romantic,   impressionable,   &   imaginative   -   hyejin   tends   to   see   the   world   through   a   rose   colored   glass  ;   the   harsh   realities   of   life   often   making   her   want   to   indulge   in   escapism.   overall   a   generous   and   kind   person

can’t   handle   pressure   well,   ultimately   she’s   a   perfectionist.   hyejin   has   a   specific   vision   of   how   she   wants   her   life   to   play   out,   &   if   anything   interferes   with   that   she   might   feel   devastated   &   defeated.   however,   she’s   quick   to   get   back   on   her   feet   &  continue   pursuing   what   she   was   working   on

obsessed   with   fairytale   romances,   used   to   read   countless   of   young   adult   novels   hoping   she’d   experience   love   like   that.   hyejin   easily   tends   to   romanticize   &   idealize   the   people   she’s   fond   of,   thinking   they   can   do   no   wrong   in   her   eyes   &   putting   them   on   a   pedestal   *coughs* minho :( 

despite   all   of   that   she   has   a   great   intuition,   hypersensitive   to   her   environment.   she’s   often   aware   of   other   people’s   emotions,   meaning   when   someone   or   something’s   off   she   usually   able   to   identify   such   things   immediately

would   prefer   to   avoid   conflict   at   all   cost   as   well,   she   doesn’t   enjoy   being   faced   with   consequences   of   her   own   actions

at   first   glance   she   can   appear   rather   stand-offish   as   well,   not   really   the   type   to   walk   up   to   someone   &   handle   small   talk   in   an   eloquent   way.   she’s   shy   &   an   introvert,   the   type   to   hide   behind   her   mother   whenever   someone   addressed   her   when   she   was   younger.   hyejin   is   only   able   to   come   out   of   her   shell   around   people   she   knows   she   can   trust

channels   all   of   her   feelings   into   her   art  !!

｡*    ❪       📂   𝐂://WANTED CONNECTIONS.

💌   𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙲 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜   (   open to m/f/nb muses !   )

current   flings  

will   they   /   won’t   they  

friends   with   benefits   (   one-sided,   purely   platonic,   etc…   )  

unrequited   love   type   of   thing   (   either   hyejin   or   your   muse  )  

fake   dating   au  

exes   on   bad   terms  

exes   on   good   terms  

enemies   to   friends   (   ?   )   to   lovers   /   flings   (   ?   )   to   exes   (   ?   )   (   we   can   do   this   however   you   see   fit   !   )

one   of   them   caught   feelings  (  thinking   they   had   something   special  )   &   suddenly   the   other   ghosted,   perhaps   leaving   behind   a   bruised   ego   )  

💌   𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙾𝙽𝙸𝙲 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜   (   open to m/f/nb muses !   )

best   friend  

good   influence  

bad   influence  

childhood   friends  

protective   type   of   friendship   (   can   go   either   way   !   )  

confidants  

someone   (   preferably   an   artist   )  hyejin   looks   up   to  

friends   who   hang   out   purely   because   it’s   good   for   their   public   image  

secret   type   of   friendship   where   being   seen   together   in   public   would   damage   their   image,   aka   them   meeting   up   in   private   !  

were   set   up   on   a   blind   date   together,   hit   it   off   in   a   platonic   way   &   became   really   good   friends   <33  

only   hang   out   because   of   mutual   friends

💌   𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙲𝙴𝙻𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙴𝙾𝚄𝚂 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜   (   open to m/f/nb muses !   )

hyejin’s   muse   aka   whenever   she   sees   them   she   gets   inspired   to   write   a   song   or   two   <3  

blackmailing   type   of   plots  

general   dislike   for   each   other,   they   simply   do   not   vibe  

someone   hyejin   teaches   how   to   play   piano  

rivalry,   they   see   each   other   as   competition  

have   shared   secret   where   both   of   them   are/were   involved   in   a   situation,   &  promised   secrecy   to   each   other

@foolsstarters​ 

[wingedweasel]

Would you rather...

Sorry for the super long post, but...

So my eyes were i a hostage situation with Twitter earlier, and I noticed a bunch of people posting things like ‘would you rather have $X or $Y?’ where x is an extremely huge amount and Y is a comically smaller amount. One was along the lines of ‘would you rather have one billion dollars all at once or 15 cents every day?’ The point of these is to bring up the idea of passive income and how it’s better to have steady income over large lump sums.

However, when it’s these comically small amounts, it would be better to have the lump sum. There was one that offered one million vs one dollar every day. Ummm, the million...? Every time. I’d choose the lump sum. Sure if it’s something like one million vs 10,000 every month, then okay, yeah, the parsed out payments would be better. I mean, yeah, it would take 10 years to get the same amount, but you would be getting more in the long run. Also, in these hypotheticals, there is no end date, so taking the monthly payment would be better since you could assume that you would keep getting the payments until you die. 

But - and this is the thing that got me questioning if I was missing something - why would anyone take the super small amount? If it was $1 a day, rounding all months to have 30 days, then you’d only be getting 360 a year, 3600 in 10 years. Why would anyone want that compared to having the lump sum of 1 million? 

What could you even do in that situation anyway? We’ve all seen those commercials “With $1 a day, you could save the life of a child/animal” uh...but I wouldn’t be spending $1 a day. I’d have to pay a large amount, that  yes, technically comes out to $1 a day, but I wouldn’t be getting a daily charge of $1. Getting $1 a day wouldn’t help anyone. As I said before, that’s less than 1000 a year. Even if it was somehow able to pass along to your descendants, it would take 2-3 of your descendants’ lifetimes to get to 1 million. And this is all assuming that you never touch any of that money in all of these lifetimes. 

I’m sorry, but no. That’s not gonna work for me. Especially if it’s something stupid like 15 cents a day. No, gimme the lump sum and I’d show you that I could make more with that lump sum than any low daily amount. 

This piggy backs off my belief of ‘sort yourself out before trying to sort other people out.’ This stems from having to grow up watching the people around me run themselves ragged trying to help others out of financial binds while they didn’t have the funds to do. I’d usually get the shaft because of that, and any financial decisions I had to make - when I was actually able to make them - had to go through this kind of tiered system and rank what I wanted to do over the wants (not needs) of other people. It sucked, still does since I’m still stuck in this system because of the decisions of other people’s past mistakes and temper tantrums. But yeah, that’s why I believe that a person should help themselves before they help others. I get that this comes off as selfish or egocentric, very ‘me first’ Americanism, and on one hand it is, but it doesn’t mean I (and the hypothetical others) don’t give to the poor or help others when they need it. It just means that I don’t think it’s good for you when you are guilted (or tricked depending on how you look at it) into opening a credit card to a tire shop when you don’t even have a license so that your sister can get her car fixed even though she has a very well paid job, but for some reason can’t afford to pay her bills and continues to not learn from her past mistakes by spending all her money as soon as she gets paid, constantly going on trips to Vegas, and seems to be always doing some money spending activity every weekend. 

Why are you asking if this was something that happened to me? What ever gave you that idea?

Anyway, getting back on tract of proving the lump sum is better: First, obviously, I’d pay off my debts. For me, I’m fortunate enough that it isn’t a massive amount, still a lot, but not hundreds of thousands. I won’t have to worry about a huge amount that I have to pay every month and not have to decide which bill gets the late fee this time. School loans, credit cards, not so much debits but a few people have gifted me various amounts to help pay my tuition, so I’d want to pay them back. I don’t have to because they were gifts, but I feel guilty that I had to ask them for money. 

Next, I would sort out my living situation. I would move to a better neighborhood in which I would buy a house there. I would also take the time to learn to drive and buy a car. I would have to outfit my new home, and while that can take a good chunk of money, second hand stores, Craigslist and the castaways from friends would help with a lot of that. I’d need to outfit almost everything because I would not be living with anyone else except my fur babies. In this fantasy, I’m saying fuck everyone else, I’m moving far far away from my family of leeches and never seeing seeing them again. I might send birthday/holiday cards/gifts to the ones I kinda get on with like my nieces and the one uncle that is actually a decent person, but everyone else can piss right the fuck off. They took advantage of me whenever I had money - more often when I didn’t have money and somehow managed to squeeze everything out of me then - so why should I help them when I have money now? Harsh? Absolutely. Petty? As fuck. 

After that, I’d invest. Obviously. If the point of the would you rather was to teach about the benefits of sustained constant income, then investing is the best way to do that. Investing in companies that have a history of doing well. Having a diverse portfolio is something that I’ve heard wealthy people talk about, so if one investment doesn’t pan out, I wouldn’t lose everything. Sounds...sound. I’d also take the time to invest in me. I’d finally be able to afford the hobbies and skills that I couldn’t before. I’d take back up with music and be able to afford lessons. I do better when someone is beside me telling me what I’m doing wrong and showing me how to do it correctly. Ex, I tried learning Japanese outside of a class setting and just couldn’t wrap my head around the basic sentence structure: XはYです. For some reason, my brain couldn’t figure out that x and y were nouns and it basically translates to X is Y. My brain freaked out, and I just couldn’t. However, day 1 of class, the figurative lightbulb went off and went “oh.” and laughed for a solid 10 minuets as soon as I got home. Musical instruments are the same way. I’ve tried to lear guitar and violin several times, but all without an instructor. Can’t do it. Hiring a personal trainer would be helpful as well. Getting someone to kick me in the butt about my fitness would go a long way in helping me reach my goals. Language tutors as well. I’ve maxed out my ability to learn at the community collage I take classes at, even though it’s been over 10 years since I took those classes, but I passed them so they’ve said screw you. While technically I could do all these things for free - there are various websites, YT tutorials, and Duolingo - like I said, I need that live teacher/student interaction for it to click. 

Finally, as I said above, help yourself before you help others, so now that I’ve helped myself, I can now start helping others. Not my family. Fuck them. However, there are friends that have helped me so much over the years, and now that there is money that I can actually use - remember those investments? They’d have started to see returns by now - I can now start ‘paying’ them back for all that they did. It may not always be money that they would give, just being a shoulder to cry on meant more than anything at times so they’d deserve something as compensation for putting up with my issues. However, because I would now be in a good place. I could literally afford to go ‘here, here is a little something to show how much you mean to me and as a small step in saying thank you for all that you did.’ I could also now go, ‘I see you are struggling, so here is something that you can use to help get out of the bad situation.’ This was - and still is - something that made me feel so guilty that I couldn’t do when I was younger. I’d see a friend need something - or even just really want, we were kids after all - but I sometimes couldn’t even spare a dollar to help them. Helping others also means gifting to charity. I have always wanted to be able to donate to charities, to give money to panhandlers - I don’t care some of them use the money for drugs or alcohol, the small amount who do do that shouldn’t cause you to not give to those who don’t - remember those commercials from before? Even if some of the charities suck major ass, there are some really good ones that I would love to be a donor. I could afford to be a Patron member for certain YTers, I could donate to small Twitch streamers. Kickstarters and GoFundMes would see my name on the donor list. Animal shelters and children’s hospitals; after school programs and community centers; friends and neighbors. I could do so much.

But it certainly wouldn’t happen if I received $1 a day. 

[huntertales]

Preview: The Smallest Coffins Are The Heaviest. (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here S09E01)

Episode Summary: The Winchesters are left in a frantic state after the reader collapses, setting off a chain reaction of events with deadly consequences. Out of desperation, Dean sends out a prayer and meets an angel named Ezekiel, both of them make a unorthodox benefiting both parties while the reader fights for her life. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Episode Warning: Heavy angst, mentions of childbirth, stillbirth aftermath, character death(s), hints of depression. Word Count: 2,395.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

They were calling it a meteor shower. You scrolled through an endless feed of news articles and social media buzz about the phenomenon that was happening all over the world. Pictures upon pictures being posted on every platform, short videos uploaded by people who captured streaks of white light illuminating the night sky. During your search through the unexpected natural event, you couldn't find anything about reports of bodies crashing to the ground at hundreds of miles per hour. Maybe even thousands? Plummeting to Earth after getting thrown out of their heavenly home, their wings ripped from their bodies. You didn’t know the consequences just yet about what this meant for Cas and the other angels. Your gut told you it wasn’t going to be the slightest bit pretty. It never was when it came to these kind of things. 

You placed your phone with the screen down on the leather seat for a moment and back around at your familiar, comforting surroundings; the Impala driving in the darkness of the night, Dean behind the wheel and Sam sitting in the passenger seat beside his brother. The three of you knew the truth about what happened all over the world not that long ago. It wasn't a meteor shower, it was angels falling from heaven. You let out a heavy sigh from the situation that fell into your lap. Hell was your number one problem not that long ago, but now that you had to drop that, heaven quickly took the empty slot. No rest for the wicked. They wouldn't let you even catch your breath before throwing you another swing.

"This makes no sense. I mean, how many angels fell—hundreds, thousands even? And nobody sees anything. This is...Look at this." You leaned forward in your seat and stretched your arm out to show Sam the article you were reading, along with a video attached at the end showing the sight seen all around the world. "They're calling it a meteor shower. Seriously?" Dean merely glanced over at the screen for a moment, not wanting to risk the chance of taking his eyes off the road for too long. Sam nodded his head after taking one look before returning his back onto the road. You noticed both of them weren't listening to what you were saying, occupied with their own personal thoughts. "What's going on, guys? You okay?"

"Us? Yes. We're fine." Dean answered for himself and his brother. You retracted your arm and dropped it back down to your lap after you returned back to your seat. You could see right through their flimsy response. "It's just—"

“It’s just we got a major freakin’ crap fest on our hands. Yeah, tell me about it.” You finished the presumption Dean was having about this whole situation, shifting around slightly in your seat to get more comfortable. “Thousands of superpowered dicks touching down, and we got no idea where to start.”

“Angels aren’t our problem right now, Y/N.” Sam said. The tone of his voice was solemn. It seemed as if he was trying to break some bad news to you, trying to figure out the right way. Something he was afraid to say. You wondered what was so important at a time like this. “Or demons, or Metatron, or whatever the hell happened to Cas.”

“Why? Because we hugged it out in that church like some big family and now we’re gonna go to Disneyland?” You asked them in a sarcastic tone. You shook your head slightly from how they were being. Nothing was as important as what you witnessed outside of the church. “Dean, you said it yourself—we’re not gonna sleep till this is done.”

“I know.” Dean muttered. He regretted the words you were throwing back in his face. It wasn’t like him to lose focus in the little details of the aftermath of abandoning the demon trials than the bigger problem you had in front of you. Angels falling from the sky was more important than anything lingering in the older Winchester’s mind right now. You didn’t realize it was more grave, more personal. Maybe you just didn’t want to realize the truth yourself. 

“So, what’s the problem?” You asked the both of them. 

The boys exchanged a glance between one another, suddenly reluctant to tell you the truth you were pressuring them for. There wasn’t much time to tell you the truth. They thought if anyone was to break the news it was them. The two people who you trusted out of anyone in the world. It was the reason why they were here in the first place. Why you were traveling down some back road in the Impala. Because all of this was a comfort. Some kind of way for your mind to cushion the blow. But nothing could prepare you for the truth. The consequences of your own actions you refused to believe were possible.

“You.” Sam’s answer made you look at him a bit funny, not sure what he meant. He wasn’t laughing. The boys were stone, cold serious. “Look, there’s no easy way to say this, okay? But something happened back there in the church. And I don’t know what. I don’t know why—“

"You're dying, Y/N." Dean cut off his brother, tired of beating around the bush. He was always the one who liked to rip off the band aid instead of softening the blow. Tell you straight out how it was going to be. But even speaking those two words was the hardest thing he had to say. 

You found yourself responding with silence, and for a few seconds you couldn't do much, other than stare at the two men sitting in front of you. Hearing those words hit something inside of you. Almost as if they were forcing you to realize something you were trying not to believe. A piece of truth a part of your brain was trying to bury. Suddenly you felt...empty. Like something was missing. 

You looked down at your body to see that you were still wearing the same clothes you had on back at the church. Nothing was missing. But something still felt off. You pressed a hand against your stomach. For some reason you were expecting it to stick out, feel more rounder. But it felt like it always had your entire life. The sensation sent a rush of panic through your body. “You’re lying” was all you managed to respond with to the older WInchester’s haunting words.

+ + + 

A person can prepare themselves for just about anything. They can try and put on a face like they're ready for the worst life throws at them. Raise their child with the lessons they had to learn the hard way. Put them through hell to toughen them up, make them grow a thick skin so when the worst does eventually happen it's not as bad as they thought it was going to be. Soften the blow. Dean thought he was ready. He thought he was prepared for the worst. Dean's entire life felt like it was rock bottom, he stumbled and fell to the point where he felt like there was no end in sight. Sometimes he got little breaks. Other times he wondered if he would keep falling dowards for the rest of his life, never quite making the impact his entire life was bracing him for. And while he was ready for the other shoe to drop, the rug pulled out from underneath his feet, the idiot kept up the smallest bit of hope. 

Dean thought in the back of his mind that things might work out in the end. If he worked hard enough, kept a watchful eye on you and stopped you before you could push yourself past the point of no return that maybe things would be okay. And that's what kills a person's spirit. That little bit of hope in a time when you need it the most. A little faith. The wish that maybe things will be okay in the end. Maybe all of this was bad dream and Dean was going to wake up in bed, wrapped up in his arms on the morning you were ready to finish what you had set on accomplishing all these months. Maybe, just maybe, he could have stopped this from happening. 

The beeping of the heart monitor and the body lying in the hospital bed sobered him up from his personal thoughts. It reminded him of the harsh reality that had unfolded over the past day and a half was a nightmare come true. 

Everything happened so fast, decisions were made without even much of a thought. He couldn't stand it anymore. Being told they did everything they could. Being asked questions about what he wanted them to do. Dean nodded his head at the first suggestion they gave him. Whatever. He didn’t care. He didn’t want to think about it. While the logical part of his brain worked just enough to remind him that he might regret rushing through the process when he started thinking with a clear head, he didn’t care. He felt too numb to think of the future. Part of him felt like there was no point in having one if he was going to leave the hospital without you.

Dean grew up thinking about the kinds of things people got to have—getting married, settling down and having children, a career, even owning  house—those things were for normies. Those who didn't devout their life to hunting the supernatural, the monsters. Every part of Dean thought he wasn't cut out for even the slightest bit of that good stuff. Nobody was going to love him for who he was, and he tried to have a family that was beside him and his brother. A little slice of normalcy, a bit of his own happiness. It never worked out. Until you came into his life. 

You always broke his standards on what life should give him. You loved him for who he was, and even then some. You were willing to go to hell if it meant he would live. You'd give him the world on a string. Because you knew he would do the same. You wanted to give him a relationship than making him forget about the things he was raised to hint. You gave him a reason to look for the light at the end of the tunnel. For a little while life didn't seem that bad. You were going to close the gates of hell and lock away all those monsters that ruined your life. You and him were going to have a child, maybe even get married. Live a life you always talked about. You were going to accomplish that....You were. Past tense. Something that couldn’t be changed. A memory stuck in his mind forever. 

What remained of that dream turned into a living nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. 

Dean felt empty. And yet at the same time flooded with emotions that made it feel like he was drowning in his sorrows. All of this was his fault. He kept wondering what he could've done to change this outcome to something different. He sat in the hospital chair staring at the one person he would do anything for. He would switch places with you in a heartbeat if it meant you were alive. If you just let him do the trials all of this could have been avoided. 

Perhaps the gates of hell could have been shut for good. Or maybe you would’ve stopped him at the last second and it would be you sitting  in this chair staring at him in a comatose state, trying to figure out how to fix this. Or even finding the courage to say your goodbyes. Because you would still have a part of him to hold on to, and his brother to take care of you. Dean didn't even have that. All he was left with was guilt. The blood was on his hands. The death of his child was his fault. He forced himself to repeat the thought over and over again to stop himself thinking about other things. Things that were worse than the funeral arrangements. 

Something like how he felt the grip around his hand loosen when you were using every ounce of energy you had left to deliver a baby you were only going to be able to do so much with. Say your goodbyes and plan a proper burial. He wanted you to have that closure, to hear the words that none of this was your fault. No one had a clue this was how it was going to end. Dean begged for you to hold on a little longer. He couldn't go through losing two people in the span of minutes. It was hard enough to make funeral arrangements of your own newborn. He couldn't do the same for the woman he loved. Not again. Not for the second time. 

It was stupid to think that Dean was cut out to be a father. Every child he had or tried to take care of met the same fate. Why did he think this was going to turn out any different? Your child was doomed from the very beginning. In a twisted, self loathing sort of way, Dean said his goodbyes. To his child, to the chances of having something like this again. Because it was never going to work out. Life taught him another lesson. He made arrangements to have your child buried in the same cemetery his mother and your parents were. Mary Winchester's casket would be kept company by a small one. Maybe the baby was up in heaven, being taken care of by their grandparents. Hopefully someone was watching over the kid. Someone better than him. 

Dean knew there was more grave matters that required his attention. The sky was falling, he had no idea where the hell Cas was and if he was okay. He didn't even take into consideration how Sam was handling this situation. All Dean kept wondering was what he needed to do to fix this situation. He knew for a fact that him and his brother weren't leaving the hospital without you. Dean would do anything to get you back...anything.

[Next Part]

Rewrite Taglist:

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[tadiwachiweleposts]

16 Lessons You Learn Growing Up Poor!

Nobody picks when and where they are born, that’s just something beyond anyone’s control but despite that fact, some people manage to outgrow their initial position.

Let’s talk about the lessons most common to those born under poverty and how to leverage these experiences for personal gain. Certain circumstances that we go through in life are what prompts our minds to be as creative as we could ever have imagined had we not gone through them. 

#1 Nobody is coming to solve your problems, you have to do it yourself.

Growing up poor accelerates your maturity because responsibility is handed over to you earlier than what’s considered the normal time when living a good life. You understand that the only way of getting good things is by working hard for them to come. You understand that if you don’t take action there are more hungry nights coming. Christmas and Birthdays are basically a myth because you barely got any presents, let alone hold any parties to acknowledge the special days because it simply couldn’t be done. Funnily enough, when you’re still young everything feels normal, you think that’s how everybody lives like until you grow up and you start to see the differences between how you live and how other people live. That’s when things get a bit complicated.

#2 Money can definitely buy happiness when happiness depends on money.

If you grow up with nothing/poor you know damn well that money does buy happiness and everyone else is just uttering nonsense. It’s not purchased over the counter, NO! But you can buy gifts for your sibling’s birthday, you are able to pay your bills the water charges and the electricity bills. Growing up and working your way out of poverty is really hard because when you’re hungry all you can ever think of is getting something to eat with no know-how of getting the money to buy the food. That’s why those who grew up poor and later became rich have much more appreciation of money than those who grew up with it.

#3 You learn to get things done – even imperfectly.

When you grow up poor, it doesn’t really matter to you how you fixed a certain problem as long as you got it fixed. How many times have you had to use a phone with a screen guard taped on top of a broken phone screen? How many times did you have to repair things? How many free trial emails do you have? How many times have you had to buy gadgets or even clothes from an unclear source with no questions asked? As long as they got the job done. When others are busy discussing how a problem should be solved, you learn to become a person of action. “Done Now is better than Perfect Never!” Some of these things are really beyond your control and until you can afford well, you will still use platforms like y2mate to rip the latest songs from YouTube, once you are no longer poor, you don’t have any problem purchasing music from Spotify or iTunes.

#4 You don’t take things for granted.

“The more you have of each item the less you treasure each individual piece.” When you grow up without much, you tend to appreciate everything that you got, your phone, your watch, that good pair of jeans. Whenever you get something from someone as a gift, it has a drastic impact on you because it doesn’t happen often. It doesn’t only look at materials but even if you were to get an opportunity to get to the next level of society, if being poor really bothers you, you’re more likely to give it all.

#5 You have this Hunger inside of you other people don’t.

There’s always this deep need to prove yourself, to escape, to grow, to eat more! This hunger is probably the most valuable thing you have inside you. Hunger is much more powerful than intellect or connections, WHY? Because it keeps you moving when other people are going to quit. “You don’t work – You don’t eat” this saying comes in many different contexts, even Apostle Paul in the Bible mentions it too. Every successful person has this fire that continues to burn inside of them. That’s why you see them always going the extra mile at everything, ceasing every opportunity that comes their way. Every single day, one person who grew up poor is outperforming one who grew up rich. However, you must be willing to put the work in if you want the hunger to make you successful.

#6 The value of being creative.

Creativity in the definition is the art of creating value from less using only your ability to connect dots differently. Because of the circumstances, you’re forced to find alternatives, ways around certain roadblocks, and make do with what you have. Everyone growing up poor more or less goes through the same thing. People with more access to resources are less creative. To be able to think outside the box only comes from having restrictions. 

#7 You lean that the only place to go is UP.

In a very messed up way growing up poor has a bit of twist to it, WHY? Because you’re already pretty miserable and more or less rock-bottom. Everything you do is a new step on the ladder out of here. You didn’t have it easy so you take a vow to use the hunger you have in yourself to make a better life for your children. You always looked at those growing up with more with a bit of envy and resentment because they didn’t get to go through what you went through. But that’s the paradox of being self-made. If you grow up poor you resent kids who are born wealthy with more opportunities, but if you make it in life and provide enough for your kids. It’s your kids who become those kids you resented when you were a child because their poor peers probably think that you were born wealthy. “Nobody chooses where they are born, but we all choose what we do with the life that was given to us!”

#8 If you don’t ask the answer is already NO.

In business, there is a popular phrase, “Everything is negotiable”. This is such a powerful statement and also the state of mind to be in. The moment that you understand that reality is negotiable you start seeing doors where you only saw walls before. How many NOs turned out to be very lucrative opportunities when the follow up was, “What will it take to make this happen?” It’s because you’re now working together to finding a solution from the obvious price discounts, to job opportunities, to big deals we never thought possible. Even if you don’t get everything that you want but the impact of you getting out there in one direction can have side benefits you never realized in the beginning. Ask for what you want. Go after the race, that client, that #dream, that project, and then figure out how to deliver on the deal.

#9 You learn social Finesse.

They don’t teach you to read a room in business school. They have a term for it called ‘Situational Awareness’ but they have no idea how to quantify it. Growing up poor you learned how to read the saddle signs of society, like how to tell from a mile away if someone is going to get punched. By the virtue of being brought up in a more harsh environment you are not easy prey. You quickly learn that your personal space is more important than somebody else’s feelings. That goes with the saying, “Never argue with fools because, from a distance, people can’t tell who’s who!” You also learn how to push someone’s buttons for personal benefits if you have to. These skills give you a really good advantage when it comes to real-world negotiations.

#10 People will judge a book by the cover.  

It doesn’t matter how much you wish to believe it isn’t so but reality has proven the opposite. From the clothes, you wear to the amount of respect people assume they should give to you based on the preset profile they’ve assigned you. From a material perspective, “Growing up poor is like growing up 10 years in the past, compared to everyone else!” You don’t have the latest state of the art laptop or smartphone or the newest and coolest shirt and it’s just the facts that you have to deal with. This is especially impactful in a society where social media has driven all of us to be instant judgers of someone based on the way they present themselves. You decide in just a couple of seconds if you’re going to like this person or you’re just going to swipe right or left. If you’re not focused on long term goals it’s easy to fall into the whirlwind of playing social shreds. That’s why you see people who are not doing well wear expensive clothing, that’s why you upgrade to the latest iPhone when you’re still sleeping on the floor: - ). The true value lies in the ability to understand that people will judge you by the cover but your success is determined by what’s inside the book. Looking successful and being successful are completely different things and people get it twisted all the time. Make sure you have a great book and then spend as much time as you can designing the cover.

#11 Simple things can mean a lot.

It’s easy to lose ourselves in the idea that only big things can have an impact. Growing up poor you find value even in the smallest acts of kindness, it doesn’t matter how proud you are. If a helping hand reached out and you knew you needed it, this help really revived your trust in humanity and it’s the little things, someone being kind to you, someone treating you like an actual human, giving you an opportunity or telling you they believe in you. Having someone in your corner who believes in you and has your back is such a powerful thing that has a major effect on your life. Once you make it, only then can you trace it back to the little things that made it all possible.

#12 Learning to multi-task because you had to.

Growing up poor, you’re part kid, part parent, part supporting member of the family. You do things because someone has to and everyone else is doing their share. You might not excel in any of them but at least you’re learning how to balance between urgent matters. You grew up juggling a bunch of balls and now that you’re an adult you find out you still have to juggle things but at least you now have some experience. Imagine having not to worry about any of the things you had to do growing up and then all of it suddenly comes down crashing on you because of an external force.

#13 If you can’t afford it, you don’t need it.

And if you really need it, you got to work really hard for you to get it. Growing up poor forces you to make certain choices because you simply can’t afford to get everything you want. It teaches you to make do without the off the shelf solution. Although it’s a very humbling experience, in time you learn you can move past certain situations despite your obvious lack of resources. Take this mindset and apply it to other parts of life and you’ll see how useful this is. Most people don’t start a business because they don’t have everything they think they need for a smooth sailing so they never start at all. You don’t need a fancy laptop, you don’t need the best of the best to get started instead do what you can with what you have and work your way into it.

#14 If you don’t do anything about it you’ll be stuck there.

Growing up poor you understand that there is a real probability of you never escaping that place and the life that comes with it. It messes with your mind, you’re looking for the quickest way out and that’s why most people never make it. There is a distinction to be made between building your own staircase out and the hope that somehow you get lucky enough to be pulled out. If that’s you, don’t wait for the big break, don’t wait to win the lotto or to get your first class degree because that’s what the rest have been waiting for and well, look at them now. You have a real decision to make, are you okay with being stuck here for the rest of your life. If not, slap some sense into your senses and get busy. Time is ticking and you’re still in the same place you were in 5 years ago.

#15 It makes you appreciate how far you’ve come.

Deep down you know how far you’ve come, you know what you have had to go through to get yourself in this fortunate position that you might find yourself in. This may not be the dream destination you’ve wished for since you were young, but the journey is still not over. Looking back on your past you see how certain decisions have influenced your life, how your choices literally made you the person you are right now. If this looks so well looking back, maybe you should look ahead this time. What choices do you have to make to end up where you want to be, make those choices, and one day you’ll recall this moment at some specific point in time, you consuming this piece of content when something clicked inside of you and you were better off because of it.

#16 You’ve got nothing to lose.

Best case scenario – you get everything that you’ve ever wanted. Worst case scenario – you are back to living the miserable life that you’re already living. The moment your mind understands this, you will never be the same. You already got to where you are right now on your own, this is your new baseline. Things might fluctuate but you can always get back to here if you had to, so do it and DO IT big. Go after it and see what happens. Statistically, all you have to do is try and you’re still going to be better off than you’re right now. Match that try with some effort and discipline combined with the skills you’ve learned on your way to this point and you’ve got a great chance of making it. Look at what you’ve managed to achieve with the effort you’ve managed to achieve so far, things you’ve had to overcome with the mindset you’ve had to change, with the tools you’ve had to acquire. Don’t miss it, don’t take this opportunity that you have for granted, GO BIG!

#Goals #Life #Lessons #GrowingUpPoor 

[headoverjojo]

Okay this is going to sound really specific. But do you mind doing headcannons for La Squadra reacting to a 5 year old Giorno (with his dads Jonathan and Dio) joining Passione then insisting on befriending their team?

Hello there! Here we go, little Giornino with murderous uncles has been delivered!

La Squadra reacting to 5 years old Giorno -and hid dads Jonathan and Dio- joining Passione and insisting on befriending their team

(Under the cut for lenght!)

Risotto Nero

Risotto is totally against the entry of a child in the gang. Passione is a place for men who have lost everything, not for a child! He has no fear to express his opinion and his perplexity, even on Dio’s face.

Jonathan, at least, seems the most reasonable of the two and the one who actually treats him like a child and not like an adult or a soldier. Risotto appreciates it, even if he’d immensely prefer to see Giorno at a kindergarten with children of his age.

He’s surprised to see that the kid isn’t scared by his menacing appearance and even tries to approach him: he lets him do what he wants, from just staring at him to sit next to him. Risotto appreciates the kid’s quiet nature and, in the end, they bond in a silent way. Risotto watches over him and, when Dio doesn’t take care personally of an adult who treated Giorno bad, he does it.

He’s impressed by Gold Experience and Giorno’s resolve when Dio trains him. He has to admit that the kid has a lot of potential… but he’s happier when he sees Giorno run to Jonathan, with a childish smile. He’s just a child… he deserves to be carefree and not weighted by their world’s darkness.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto is really sceptical about Boss’ decision to let a child and his dads join Passione. What benefits would they bring to the gang? A child should stay at school, not in an organization like Passione. It’s not a place for him.

For the first period, he observes Giorno’s interactions with his dads. Jonathan seems a pretty normal person, maybe a bit too cuddly with his son, nonetheless a good father; Dio, on the other hand… is strict and, in Prosciutto’s opinion, totally crazy. Still, he never hurts Giorno, and Jonathan doesn’t seem to worry, so it’s fine, he guesses?

Prosciutto’s not bad with children, if they’re not annoying. Giorno, being both quiet and more mature than his own age, meets all Prosciutto’s standards. The hitman lets Giorno sit near him, reading or drawing and, if he asks him something about his current reading, Prosciutto helps him with no hesitation. One day, after Giorno asked him, he even styled his golden hair in little manbuns like his.

He understands why Giorno is in the organization when he sees the kid training with his vampire father: Giorno proves to have uncommon resolution and determination and his stand power is not to underestimate. He sees in the kid a wonderful hitman, when he’ll be adult, a person that could even challenge the Boss. Still, he’d prefer to see him live a normal life, not to see him slowly sinking in their darkness.

Pesci

Pesci is shocked to see a child so young enter the HQ. In a first moment he even thinks that he just happened there for an error, but, when his fathers confirm that they’re indeed in the organization, he’s so bewildered that he has to take a moment to recollect his ideas. How could the Boss let a child join the gang? It’s crazy!

He’s friendly with Giorno since day one. He talks with him and Giorno, after a first period of little distrust, loosen up and finally starts to be the child he is. He often takes him to fish, giving him a little break from the gang life and Dio’s training. He discovers the positive side of Gold Experience, letting him play with his stand and transform stones and pieces of wood into frogs or butterflies, to both their delight.

He’s taken aback when he sees him training under Dio’s gaze. He’s completely different from the quiet and sweet child he knows: his eyes are cold as ice, focused on his task. Even Gold Experience acts different: instead of being curious and playful, it is as his user, focused and always ready to hit. Its powers are used in a smart way pointing to escape or hurt the enemy. He sees now why the Boss valuated him so much as Passione soldato, even if he still sees him more as the child who loves to play with frogs than as a soldier.

He appreciates more Jonathan than Dio. Jonathan, at least, is a good father and always blocks Dio when he’s training Giorno too brutally; Dio cares, in his twisted way, about Giorno, but he has a sort of fixation about teaching him how to defend himself at any cost, often forgetting about him being still a child. If Pesci should choose between the two, Jonathan would surely be his choice to be the first -and unique- Giorno’s father.

Formaggio

Formaggio frowns, when he sees little Giorno enter the HQ between his dads. A kid? For real? The Boss has sent a kid to the infamous Squadra di Esecuzione? He has to be really a prodigious child, then. He’s pretty neutral, even if he doesn’t like to have a child roaming around the HQ. It’s not a safe place for a child and, even if the Boss considered him worth of one of the élite squads. A child simply doesn’t suit their dirty job.

He observes a lot Giorno’s interactions with his fathers, trying to understand why the Boss admitted him in the gang. He doesn’t approach the kid, but the kid does so, surprising him. Giorno stares at him, silent, for a good amount of seconds, before telling him that he finds his stand cool. Formaggio is taken aback: usually everyone makes fun of Little Feet and its power, but this kid finds it cool? The hitman just grins, saying that he has good tastes.

From then on, Formaggio watches Giorno with more sympathy. The kid finds in him the funny uncle, the one that helps him to do pranks and laughs with him watching cartoons. Jonathan is frankly relieved that Giorno found a sort of uncle in Formaggio: his son deserves a break from the situation they’re in.

Formaggio observes his trainings with Dio with attentive eyes, stepping in if he thinks that Dio is being too rough on him. Giorno doesn’t say anything, but he’s relieved to have someone on his side, when Jonathan isn’t around. He knows that Dio is training him to make him able to defend himself, but sometimes it’s… too much. Is it so weird to want to be a kid, for once?

Melone

Melone’s surprised, but at the same time delighted to have a child roaming in the HQ. He loves children, he literally helps his stand’s sons to grow up! He always wanted to try his methods on a real child, anyway, but he can’t even open his mouth that Risotto shots him with a stern glare, making him go back to quietness, even if he’s pouting.

When Capo is not around, Melone finally approaches the child, studying him with a curiosity more scientific than affective. Giorno stares at him with the same curiosity, finally sitting next to him and asking about his masks and his eye. When Melone explains how and why he lost it, Giorno only nods, without pity or disgust. Melone is surprised by the child’s maturity: sometimes not even the adults can contain their disgust when he tells how he lost his eye.

Melone assumes on himself his tutoring. Even if Risotto has to smack his nape when he lets himself slip in his infamous “how to kill in 101 creative ways” lessons, Melone, all in all, does a pretty good job. He knows how to handle kids, even if, until that moment, he had dealt just with his stand’s children, and his way to teach is pretty fun and interactive. Giorno ends up with a pretty good education, in the end.

He disapproves Dio’s way to train his son. It’s too harsh and hard, in his opinion: he believes -and has proved with Babyface’s sons- that the better approach is using praises and be patient. Dio is not patient and never praises his son, always pretending more and more. Melone often steps in, with Formaggio or, if he’s present, Jonathan to stop him when the training is getting too much harsh for the little kid.

Illuso

Illuso already knew about Giorno’s arrival when the kid entered the HQ. It’s his job to know things before everyone else, so he’s the only one not surprised when the kid introduces himself. He knew also about his dads, but nothing more: he wants to study them all in order to understand if they can be a useful resource or if the Boss just went crazy.

He’s a bit taken aback when he notices that the kid studies him in his same way: with analytical eyes, at the same time curious and careful. Giorno approaches him after few days, asking him how he already knew that he would have arrived. When Illuso tells him about Man in the Mirror, Giorno’s eyes widen and he immediately asks him to show his stand and to take him into the mirror world.

The mirror world, then, becomes Giorno’s secret quiet spot when his new life becomes too much: when he wants just a bit of time for himself, he asks Illuso to let him enter the mirror world. Illuso learned to know Giorno and his habits and he grew fond on him: he doesn’t approve him to stay in a gang and, if he can help even a bit the kid to feel safer and calmer, he’d accomplish immediately.

Among his dads, Illuso is on Jonathan side: Dio’s too harsh, too focused on wanting to make his son a war machine to see that he needs time to play, to learn, to be a child. Jonathan, at least, blocks Dio when it’s too much and lets Giorno play in a healthy way, encouraging and praising him. Illuso is happy to see a little smile on the child’s face.

Ghiaccio

When he sees Giorno enter the HQ, he’s at a loss of words, for once in his life. A kid? A fucking kid?! The Boss promised them a new valuable member and he sends a kid?! He’s so enraged that Risotto has to send him on a mission on instant, to save everyone from the biggest headache of the last decade caused by his raged screeches.

When he comes back, he’s way calmer. Ghiaccio, however, doesn’t approach Giorno: he knows too well how harsh he is, definitely not good for children. He lowers his anger burstings, as much as he can, when the kid is around, but it’s the most he could do.

It’s Giorno, so, to approach him first: one day, when Ghiaccio was reading, Giorno plopped near him, a book in his hands, and started to read too. Ghiaccio glanced at him various times, silent, before going back to his own reading. This soon became an habit and Ghiaccio found himself enjoying the time he spent with the quiet child, just reading and keeping company to each other.

If Risotto was not holding him from his scruff, Ghiaccio would surely go to punch Dio on his face for how he trains Giorno. It’s too harsh even for him and, even if Giorno is a prodigy and his Gold Experience can be terrifying, this is not the way to teach to a child. Even Melone would do better! He’s just glad that Jonathan steps in to stop Dio, even if he’s freezing, since the room’s temperature suddenly dropped.

Bonus: Sorbetto and Gelato

Both of them disapprove it with all their heart. Passione is not a place for kids, it should never be a place for kids and teens: it’s already horrible to let barely teenager boys and girls join the organization, but a five-years-old kid… it’s unacceptable. The little respect they had for the Boss evaporated at the news.

When Giorno steps in, they’re immediately protective towards him. They shush the other members who don’t act nice, especially Ghiaccio, and keep the kid safe from the most gore part of their work. They don’t want him to grow up traumatized.

They become like a second couple of dads, for little Giorno. Gelato is the most cheerful, in the couple, and he’s the one who gives him some ice-cream when he does something good; Sorbetto is the somber one and he praises the child when he obtains some achievement.

They both fiercely dislike Dio and his training methods: too hard for a child so young. They always try to drag him away before the training’s ending, mending his eventual scratches and spoiling him a little, if Jonathan is not around. With them, Giorno is always protected and safe.

[rhyfelwyr]

SIREN ------------------ a collection of short Maya drabbles.

i.    i was just a kid

It hurt. It hurt and it itched and it burned, but she couldn’t move. If she moved, if she even let out a whimper, she knew she’d get in trouble for it. She was not to speak, not to move. Obey, obey, obey. Her fingers were cramping - cold sweat was pouring down her back. She could hear a woman crying, begging and pleading.

Crying doesn’t help, Maya wanted to tell her. They don’t care for crying. They’ll take what is due, or they’ll take your life. Such was the way of the Order of the Impending Storm. Such was her way.

Her focus was slipping - her energy depleting. Normally, it didn’t take this long for people to give in to the Order’s demands. Just moments of holding them captured in her phaselock was usually enough. But this woman cried and pleaded while the boy - he must be her age, she thought absently, about eighteen - stood there before brother Sophis, hands raised into fists, blood on his lips and one of his blue eyes was slowly swelling shut. His sister - Maya thought she must be only a handful of years older than her - was caught in the web of blue, frozen in time, immobile and stuck in an expression of pure horror. She looked away quickly.

“ We can’t pay, ” the boy said again, frustration gleaming in his eyes, sliding down his cheeks. Sophis wouldn’t have it. “ Your father should’ve thought about it before he got himself killed, ” came his monotone reply. “ Maya? ” He sent a look over his shoulder at her, dark eyes narrowing slightly.

She was a weapon in his hands and she would gladly do as told. It was for the order. It was the way of the land. It was her purpose. Savior - executioner. 

The siren let out a slight gasp - power stretching to the limit, and the sister suddenly cried out, the bubble bursting, limp body falling, hitting the ground with a thud. She wasn’t dead - but she would be soon enough. The burns covering her skin would take care of that. Slowly. The boy was crying in earnest now ; hatred in his eyes, directed only to her. But she hadn’t given the command. She’d only executed it.

So she didn’t care.

Taking a step back, she collided with the chest of brother Reqhim - who’s hands descended on her shoulders, keeping her on her feet when she wobbled, knees weak, which she was thankful for. This had to be the longest time she’d held someone in her phaselock yet - and it was consuming all of her energy. Her limbs were trembling and she needed to take several deep breaths - later, she’d be eating for three to get her energy levels back up.

“ See, now - lesson learned, huh? ” She knew brother Sophis would have a pleasant smile on his face. She knew it from her own training, each time she’d failed. He was a stern teacher, awfully harsh and as unbending as steel, but in the end he’d always place his hand on her shoulder and tell her she did well. That every failure was a lesson, and she was a good student. She never made the same mistake twice. She worked hard to never see the disappointment in his eyes again.

His smile was a reward for her, but she didn’t think it would be for this boy. 

ii.    in plain view

Twenty-four and left with more questions than there were answers. She hadn’t seen brother Reqhim since he’d told her of the other sirens ; of her not being alone in this world. There were up to five others like her at all times, harnessing powers as spectacular as her own. There were planets out there that she’d never heard of before. Wars and creatures and alliances. 

She felt small underneath all of that sky. A kid playing at being a deity. What was she doing here, what was her point? Did the other sirens live like this? Revered, feared and loved by people whose faces she rarely saw. As much the name they prayed to as a name they warned children about in order to get them to behave.

Would they stand for living like this? It had taken courage to approach Sophis, her handler, responsible for her education. The face of her youth, the one who knew her better than most ( though she had realized lately that the same could not be said the other way around ). To tell him what she knew, what she’d learned and what she wanted. To see more - to get off this planet and see what more the universe had to offer. To learn more about people like her. He’d encourage it, she’d thought. He always hammered on her education, said it was good that she knew more about her powers. About the limits to which she could push herself.

But instead of his enthusiasm, she’d received a strangely cold stare. An inquiry, how did she come to learn such nonsense, and then, when she told him of brother Reqhim, a small smile and a pat on the shoulder. “ There are times for everything, times where the world beyond will be open to us, and I can assure you, Maya, that expanding beyond this planet will surely happen. But not now. Not when we are still so - unstable. Patience, dear girl. ” And he’d waved her off as if it were nothing.

As if this revelation had meant nothing. 

She knew he thought she was stupid. That she couldn’t put two and two together if her life depended on it. Reqhim’s disappearance, his avoiding the topic so thoroughly her questions seemed to fall upon deaf ears at this point. And his threat, just that evening, that if she did not focus on the road ahead and instead on the stars above, he would allow her some solitary time to reflect on her priorities.

Yeah, right. He was going to reduce her world to the room she’d called her own since she could speak until loneliness would leave her promising anything - including to never ask again about places beyond Athenas - to be free of the confines of her jail cell. 

Obedience had come to fit her like a too-large jacket. Taught to listen and never question - to assume that all their kills, all HER kills were justice reigning supreme, were only them enforcing the law... It didn’t seem so simple anymore. Structure was good for the people. So she’d been told. So she’d believed. 

But perhaps it wasn’t structure so much as greed that drove the order. And Maya wasn’t so sure if she wanted to be used as a tool for their ruthless campaigns.

iii.    raise hell  

For a long time, Maya had believed that to be a savior was to be both kind and cruel. To both heal the wounds and wield the blades that gave them.

But things hadn’t been right for some time now. For each step she took in a direction she wanted to go, Sophis and the order pushed her two steps back and every single time, she felt like she was unveiling something she wasn’t supposed to see, supposed to realize. A truth that would benefit her, but not the Order. 

If I am the savior of these people, am I not supposed to know best? She’d asked one day. You said I’m supposed to always try to learn more - about my abilities, about everything. But when I say I want to see other places, learn about other like me, you hold me back. Why? He’d been shaking his head before she was even done speaking. She had so much left to learn, he’d told her. So much more they could give her. And what would the people do, should they learn she’s absent? 

But the thing was, she’d seen how the people looked at her. Oh, there were still a few who showed up to her public appearances. Who still seemed to look at her with reverence. But others didn’t cheer, didn’t cry. No, they just glowered and remained silent. Some, she knew, didn’t even bother showing up anymore. They’d get in trouble for that. Disobedience. Blasphemy. 

Or maybe finally done with the tyranny of the order - her false godhood. She was no god, she thought. She was just a woman. A woman with extraordinary powers, yes. But still just human. And now that she knew - she realized that the Order had always known, too. And had used her in her ignorance. Had manipulated the faith and trust she’d had in the men and women who’d raised her since she was a baby, given away by parents who wanted nothing to do with something they’d never understand. A witch. 

They’d taken that trust and taken that girl and had made her a weapon - with no regards for the human underneath. Greed was ugly and it colored their auras, filled their eyes. They’d given her a name only for it to be a command. A threat. A tool. 

Maya, Maya, Maya.

She’d cut the raw length of her hair off with a pair of scissors she’d nagged from one of the sisters. Had watched the blue strands fall until the ends of her hair tickled her jaw and chin when she moved. She looked older, she’d thought. Sharper. Clearer.

A weight sliding off her shoulders. 

Twenty-seven years of roaming these halls had resulted into her knowing every arch and every doorway, the spots where the lights shone brightest and those where she could slide past unseen. She’d gotten her hands on a gun ( Tediore, heavy and not exactly her favorite, but it’d do ), and different clothes. The silken robes they stuck her into would do no good to her. A hood to cover her hair, a jacket for her tattoos. 

One more time, she thought to herself. She was going to ask him one more time. Even if she already knew the answer Sophis would give her.

There had been confusion on his face - that, and anger, when she entered his rooms without bothering to announce herself. He’d looked up distracted - a book in his hand, his other hand rubbing tired muscles in his neck. Sophis looked old, she thought. Somehow, she only saw it now. The fine lines of his face, the permanent grooves around his mouth. The grey expanding rapidly from his temples to the ends of his hair. 

“ I’m leaving. ”

As if her appearance didn’t give that away. He’d laughed, at first, but when she didn’t budge, he’d grown serious. Moved to his feet. She realized she was taller than him, now. She’d never quite noticed that, either. Sophis had always seemed larger than life. But now he was just a man. " Child, you have so much left to learn. " A statement or a plea, she couldn’t tell the difference. “ Maybe, but I know I don’t want to stay. I told you before - there’s more out there, more that I can learn, things you can’t teach me. Or won’t. ”

She’d rested a hand on the gun at her side, and he finally seemed to notice it. She watched him raise his hands. “ What of your people, Maya? What will they say when their savior, their deity just left them? That they are cursed? All that is holy, taken from their grasp--- ”

“ I’m not holy, ” she said, eyes on him, “ Holy things don’t kill for greed. ” The greed of others, granted, but she’d killed. Part of her had even been fascinated by her ability to do so. Still was, if she had to be honest. “ No - I’m as human as you are, but twice the horror. ” The gun was in her hand, now.

She thought he understood, now. It seemed to dawn on him all of a sudden. Realization, “ Maya --- Maya, you can’t do this - you won’t do this, you--- ” There was only ancient anger in her eyes as she cocked the gun. Aimed.

“ You have no idea what I will do. ”

The next life she took was justified.

[gg-astrology]

Hello love. I'm here to make a request for Capricorn sun- Cancer moon if your requests are still open. Still, I love your blog and enjoy browsing through the posts. Keep up the good work. Thank you ! 💜

Hey there! 💜💜 I’ll do my best! 💜 And thank u for enjoying the blog 

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Cancer Moon 👒]

These people learn how to be hard-working, preserving and tolerant due to circumstances,

Things that made them experience hardship in their life

They grow to be gracious and sensible, sympathetic through pains/challenges that they’ve faced/had

With the combination of Capricorn/Cancer-- the lessons of Saturn/Moon is predominant in your life. With any situation that makes you ‘push against the wall/tests you’ --- you grow from it, you strengthen, it deepens you and make you stronger person (emotionally, spiritually and mentally) because of it

I think you’ve noticed this too...your self-development measures according to the roadblocks you’ve had. If you haven’t had any roadblocks in your life, that might imply that you’re in the middle of an on-going one. But trust that you will eventually come out of it better, if you take from it the lessons you’ve been denying to take

Most of the time the lessons these people has to do with confronting their denial, their reluctance to change/break their own habits or mindset. 

Capricorn/Cancer are traditional and very stubborn, even with a progressive streak in them (i.e. Sagittarius/Aquarius) these people maintain their stance/habits on things and refuses to take advice from people

They build up a wall around them, and while they maintain cynicism and a cold harsh exterior-- these people feel/are rooted in their insecurities, their anxiety and their feeling of inadequacy that stops them from achieving their success/greater joys in life

Take note that your stubbornly ‘i can handle myself’ mixed too much with an obstinate ‘woe is me’ attitude can often let opportunities/chances passes you by. You think you know better, that you know the world is cruel/harsh and chances are only given to those who are livelier and more spontaneous than you-- but that would only stem more into your insecurities

Learn how to trust your intuition, how certain things doesn’t need a reason/isn’t so grounded. By being more connected to the ‘flow’ of losing control/water element, you’ll benefit a lot from not being so stagnant within yourself either

You’re deeply emotional, you just have a terrible habit of pushing it down and suppressing it. It contributes to your arrogance, your self-denial and your own demise. So make sure to keep those in check 💜

Capricorn/Cancer are very much aware and constantly obsessed with their own short-comings, mostly attributed to their personality/behavioral flaws.  

They nit-pick at who they are, why they’re different from others, why they can’t be appreciated/successful as other people. Without giving themselves a chance to shine or change. 

These people need to realize they can’t stubbornly cling onto their roots, to ‘what they know and therefore can see happening/can do’ --- they have to learn how to let things go, to let it flow. 

Taking chances or ‘jumping’ off a cliff for something terrifies Capricorn/Cancer-- too cautious and calculating these impractical remarks/ideas have never even come to mind that they should do.

But by experience, and by learning how to face what terrifies them-- can they develop and grow into a better person because of the ‘lightness’ that it brings them.

You’re fully capable of being loved, and I know you deserve it. You’re capable of receiving affections from others, with nothing in return. You just have to learn how to ‘start’. And that’s the scariest part right?

Changes are scary, but changes can be made. Instead of drowning in your insecurities, try learning how to self-accept and self-love. 

Try learning how to grow, plant seeds in the ground that keeps your rooted. But not with your insecurities, rather with your strengths.

Keep a record of things you’re proud of and feels good by everyday, small things are nice

Capricorn/Cancer are clever, witty and nurturing when they want to be. They’re self-sufficient and independent, but knowing that you isolate yourself from society too much cause you to spiral into despair-- you have to learn how to be independent within a society without dragging yourself down instead.

Capricorn/Cancer thinks theyre the poster child for emo/goth lifestyle, but try not to let it over-consume you. You’re deserving of so much love  and happiness, all you have to do is start building that up in yourself as well.

Alrighty 💜 A lil short and sweet, but I hope it’s helpful 💜💜 

[jitterbugjive]

Again, I wouldn't have mentioned that if you didn't involve my personal life. That was uncalled for. It's fair to tell a business why you decided not to purchase from them. It's a harsh lesson to learn that maybe if you treated people with the benefit of the doubt and more fairly instead of judging their personal life without even knowing them, you will succeed. I'm so disappointed by your reaction, I didn't know you were this childish.

Let me tell you a little something about PTSD:

It’s not me being childish as a person, it’s having my brain literally thrown in to the state of being a child under attack from abusers.

All my other posts- again, not meant to be directed at you, but as a commentary on the bigger picture. I keep telling you over and over I am not commenting on your personal life at all

I’m commenting on the idea of a parent working multiple jobs for their family, that’s literally it, and you’re not the only one doing this. I am not passing any sort of judgement on you as a person for how you run your life

the only judgement here was that you were not understanding our situation and making misinformed commentary about what to do in OUR lives, giving us options we DON’T HAVE and you have not once thought about how much that might have hurt us.

And when we got upset about that, you took it personally and threw out more information about your family and situation and how well off you are and it’s not comforting

it’s not comforting to hear “I’m well off even though I;m working multiple jobs to support my kids” because to us that just wouldn’t be a way we’d want to live

it has nothing to do with you, personally, as a person, and I’m getting super annoyed that you’re just stuck thinking it is

I will defend myself to the fucking death that I did not mean to attack you, and I wish you’d just see that this whole episode was brought on by a stupid trigger and I am trying to make up for it

[aokardosarchive]

Trident Task # 5: 

Basic Character Questions

First name? Nael Thiago Surname? De La Fuente Middle names? Alvarez Nicknames? Nael, the Disney prince, el inocente Date of birth? February 21, 1988 Age? 30

Physical / Appearance

Height? 6′2″ Weight? 176 lb Build? Muscular, athletic built. Hair color? Brown. Hair style? Short, black locks (tends to be wavy when long). Eye color? Chocolate brown. Eye shape? Close set eyes. Glasses or contact lenses? Requires reading glasses (but hasn’t had one since arriving on the island). Distinguishing facial features? Which facial feature is most prominent? Eye crinkling when extremely happy. Which bodily feature is most prominent? His round, perky ass. Other distinguishing features? Does a six (6) pack count? Skin? Tanned, smooth Hands? The left and the right - complete set Make up? For photo shoots and royal functions: concealer. Lip balm and sunscreen for daily use. On the island: sunscreen (whenever he can get some). Scars? One by his lower right back (sword-fighting accident), and numerous cuts up and down his left and right arms (post-torture) Birthmarks? One on right knee and one on left eye Tattoos? Two -- a coloured ‘sweet’ cherry tattoo on his right buttock cheek, and a white ink arrow tattoo on his right rib cage Physical handicaps? None Type of clothes? Suits, slacks, ankle boots, leather shoes, long-sleeved polos. // on the island: plain t-shirts, khaki shorts, swim shorts, sandals How do they wear their clothes? Tailor-fit, tight clothes to emphasise form. What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc) Clean, nails cut as much as possible, wears sandals on the island, or barefoot. Race / ethnicity? White (of Spanish descent) Mannerisms? Subscribes to traditional royal mannerisms (such as bowing and hand-kissing), fidgeting fingers, anxious swallowing. Are they in good health? Yes, Nael is health-conscious. He eats right as much as possible, and works out daily. Do they have any disabilities? Post-torture: Nael is currently suffering from anxiety.

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? He says “si” a lot. Do they have a catchphrase? No. Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic. Are they introverted or extroverted? Extroverted. Do they ever put on airs? Unfortunately, yes. What bad habits do they have? Smoking, binge-drinking, over-indulgence. What makes them laugh out loud? The simplest of things (even the most plainest of jokes) can make him laugh. How do they display affection? Hand-holding, hugs -- he isn't shy to show affection. Mental handicaps? Anxiety. How do they want to be seen by others? He wants the best and the goodness in him to always be seen. How do they see themselves? He sees himself as unreal, sometimes. How are they seen by others? He is often seen as the 'epitome' of a prince. Strongest character trait? Comforting other people, being their rock. Weakest character trait? Opinion can easily be swayed or influenced. How competitive are they? Not quite. Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? He prefers to think things through rather than act hastily. How do they react to praise? Bashful smiling, blushing. How do they react to criticism? Anxious gazes, fear (sometimes). What is their greatest fear? To be seen as as waste of a human being. What are their biggest secrets? His bisexuality, his rotation of hook-ups, his incapability to settle in one relationship. What is their philosophy of life? “Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.” When was the last time they cried? To Aaron @aaronherzog, after opening up about his torture. What haunts them? The voices in his head telling him that he will never be good enough and that he's only trying hard but people can see right through him. What are their political views? Quite liberal. What will they stand up for? For his constituents, for the people. Who do they quote? Whoever captures his interest, his essence. Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? Indoorsy. What is their sinful little habit? His hook-up rotation. What sense do they most rely on? Sense of sight. How do they treat people better than them? With utmost care. How do they treat people worse than them? With excessive understanding. What quality do they most value in a friend? Trustworthiness. What do they consider an overrated virtue? Honesty. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? The need to be liked. What is their obsession? To be liked by as many people as possible. What are their pet peeves? Arrogant, violent people. What are their idiosyncrasies? Gets attached way too easily to people, easily impressed.

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? The royal family of the de la Fuentes is quite small. King Matias runs the country, Queen Lucia oversees most philantrophic works, Nael is the successor of throne, Principe Vasco @vascoxdexlaxfuente and Princesa Paula @delafuentepaula are still taking their lessons and have yet to take up their official tasks. What is their perception of family? Family is everything to Nael. His parents had raised all of them to value family and love in the best way possible. He is nothing without his strong familial ties. Do they have siblings? Older or younger? He has siblings younger than him -- Vasco and Paula. Describe their best friend. Nael's best friend in Argentina is a man named Philippe. He is his childhood best friend growing up, a bond maintained and sustained to grow up until today. Philippe is an architect who is always thrown off with Nael's royal stature, and keeps him humble. Ideal best friend? Preferably a fellow royal who understands what it means to be on a position that benefits and harms you at the same time. Someone whom he can spend hours upon hours end just talking. Describe their other friends. Principe Luka @luka-rossi is a fellow royal whom he has practically grown up with, as well as Princesa Laela @laprincipessalaela and Princesa Maddalena @maddalenaofitaly. The two Italian princesas are practically family. Principe August @augustofmonaco is a dear friend from his reckless days, but he still manages to keep in touch. Principe Aaron @aaronherzog is someone whom he can confide in, and constantly seeks for companionship. Princesa Lola @lola-gutierrez holds a special place in his heart despite their past. Emily @emily-windsor is a pirata whom he adores dearly and has develop a steady mentor-mentee relation with. Describe their acquaintances. Nael likes to make fast friends of nearly everyone he can. And by everyone, he means everyone. Do they have any pets? Yes. His shih-tzu, Kaia, is a royal dog, cared for and pampered by the de la Fuentes and the royal household. Who are their natural allies? Primarily, the Italian Rossis. He is also natural allies with royal families from nearby Hispanic and Latino countries. Who are their surprising allies? At the moment, Principe Niklas @niklas--johansson​ of Sweden.

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? As a baby, Nael was a doted on first heir. He was quite fussy, and was demanding of attention from either his parents or the nannies. As a child, however, he had learned by then to command the attention of nearly everyone in the room, by simply being his angelic, well-mannered self. Did they grow up rich or poor? Rich. Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Nurtured and loved. What is the most offensive thing they ever said? In the heat of the moment, he had fired a staff member and called them a bitch after they had rudely berated and chastised his own guest in the palace. What is their greatest achievement? Proposed and opened up his first school with a specialised, improved curriculum. His school is a free-for-all education program for the underprivileged youth. He firmly believes in education being power. What was their first kiss like? Shy and chaste. What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? They didn't realise that they were in love with them at that time. What are their ambitions? To prove himself as a king worthy and capable of leading his people, that he not be detested as a monarch. What advice would they give their younger self? Stop trying to get validation from others. What smells remind them of their childhood? Freshly printed books, freshly baked banana bread, vanilla. What was their childhood ambition? To be a doctor. What is their best childhood memory? The lavish balls thrown for festivities' sake. What is their worst childhood memory? Realising the severity and gravity of his title. Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? No. When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? When he was taken and tortured by the piratas. What past act are they most ashamed of? Allowing he and Princesa Lola @lola-gutierrez​ to be caught by the paparazzi. What past act are they most proud of? Representing Argentina in the UN 2017 summit in lieu of his father. Has anyone ever saved their life? Yes, many times by his guards. Strongest childhood memory? One day, in particular, stands out the most as it was the day when they spent a day out in the park and went for ice cream without their guards. Nael did not know that the guards had merely kept their distance from them that day. To him, it was the first time they could go out as simply mother and son, and not as royals.

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? No. Are they in a relationship? No. How do they behave in a relationship? Nael feels strangled when in a relationship. He is loyal, but feels like he is limited. When did you character last have sex? With Aaron, just before the fire. What sort of sex do they have? Vanilla, passionate sex. He performs for the pleasure of his partner, above all else. He prefers light BDSM, but anything too harsh turns him off. Would bend over backwards just to make sure that his partner is satisfied. Has your character ever been in love? Yes. Have they ever had their heart broken? Yes.

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? Unkindly. Will resort to violence if necessary. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue. Fists are last resort. What is your character’s kryptonite? Brightly-coloured hues, blue eyes. If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? Save the dog. How do they perceive strangers? With openness. What do they love to hate? Nael is a sucker for trash celeb magazines. He hates them, but will buy them still just to see what they have written about. What are their phobias? Spiders. Being alone. Disappointing his family. What is their choice of weapon? His words. What living person do they most despise? Nazis. Have they ever been bullied or teased? Teased about his sexuality, yes. Where do they go when they’re angry? To their room, or the garden. Or to a coffee shop. Who are their enemies and why? His enemies are mainly the bigots who trash his name because of his sexuality.

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? Crown prince of Argentina What do they think about their current job? Having been trained and taught all his life, he feels as if he should be ready to be king. He does not have a say in the matter, so he merely accepts it as it is. What are some of their past jobs? Nael once worked part-time in the university library in the UK. What are their hobbies? Reading, swimming, researching on various topics, watching the news. Educational background? Nael studied in the University College London and graduated with a degree in Politics and International Relations. Intelligence level? Quite knowledgeable. Unfortunately, his intelligence takes a backseat in favour of kindness. Do they have any specialist training? Mostly for royal training. Do they have a natural talent for something? Socialising with others. He's practically a great host on his own. Do they play a sport? Are they any good? Nael plays soccer, but he's only alright as a player since he cannot train as much. Nael has played rugby before, but once his parents found out, he was practically banned from playing the vicious sport. What is their socioeconomic status? Royalty.

Favorites

What is their favorite animal? Cats, oddly enough. Which animal to they dislike the most? Insects. What place would they most like to visit? Antarctica. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? The Tango Buenos Aires Festival 2016. What is their favorite song? La Vie En Rose by Daniela Andrade Music, art, reading preferred? Reading. What is their favorite color? Black. What is their password? Pr1nc1p3Th1ag022 Favorite food: Dulce de leche on helados. What is their favorite work of art? Fuente de las nereidas (Lola Mora) statue in Av. Dr. Tristán Achával Rodríguez Who is their favorite artist? Banksy. What is their favorite day of the week? Saturday.

Possessions

What is in their fridge: his personal mini-fridge has yogurt, chocolate bars, and milk in it. What is on their bedside table? Glass of water, rings, iPhone, iMac laptop, iPad. What is in their car? Change of clothes for casual, semi-formal, and formal occasions. A stash of emergency food and water. What is in their bin? Receipts. What is in their purse or wallet? Cash, ID cards, three (3) credit cards. What is in their pockets? Lip balm, iPhone, wallet. What is their most treasured possession? His dog.

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? Nael's guardian angel is most likely a white butterfly, whispering in his ear or something. Do they believe in the afterlife? Yes What are their religious views? He is a Christian. Although if anything, he isn't as practicing. The religion is mainly to be seen as a model in amongst the conservatives. What do they think heaven is? Just another place to go to. What do they think hell is? A place to go to, as well. Are they superstitious? Yes. What would they like to be reincarnated as? A puppy. How would they like to die? In his sleep, peaceful. What is your character’s spirit animal? He does not have one. What is their zodiac sign? Pisces.

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? To treat a person like they are trash. What is their view of ‘freedom’? Freedom is to soar and be yourself, with no limits. When did they last lie? He last tried to lie to Laela @laprincipessalaela​ about his injuries and disappearance. What’s their view of lying? It is only allowed if it is to protect the ones you love most. When did they last make a promise? To himself, that he was to survive and get out of the dungeons alive and sane. Did they keep or break their last promise? Kept it.

Daily life

What are their eating habits? Nael is mindful of his choices. He prefers his protein and potatoes a lot. Craves for carbs constantly. He often indulges in sweets or treats though. He likes to keep eating every now and then. Do they have any allergies? None. Describe their home. Nael's room in the argentinian palace has a minimalist, black and white look. The furnitures are quite modern compared to the rest of the household. In there is a huge flat screen TV, a love-seat, his vanity dresser, his work table, and his king-sized bed. A wall in his spacious room is a top-to-bottom shelf filled with books and awards. His walk-in-closet is connected to the next room filled with his clothes, shoes, and accessories. His bathroom has a soaking tub, a waterfall shower, and a double sink. He has his own balcony, with two loungers on it and a view of the gardens. Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? Minimalist, as much as possible. He sorts through his things on a monthly basis with a staff member to clean through. What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Breakfast in the dining room. It's a daily tradition to see each other regularly on week day mornings for the de la Fuentes. What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? If there is no function to attend to, he will be at his father's office, conferring about the week's news and happenings. What do they do on a Friday night? Nael will most likely be at his condo complex, spending the night with his hook-up rotation until the next day, unless he has a function. What is the soft drink of choice? Root beer. What is their alcoholic drink of choice? Champagne

Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype? (Innocent, Orphan, Hero, Caregiver, Explorer, Rebel, Lover, Creator, Jester, Sage, Magician, Ruler) hero. Who is their hero? His parents. What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? A Greek god, most likely. Are they comfortable with technology? Yes, incredibly so. He has Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. He also has quite the following there. If they could save one person, who would it be? Vasco. Heaven knows he might not be able to save himself. If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Paula. She knows exactly how to help him. What is their favorite proverb? The classic “Don't judge a book by its cover.” What is their greatest extravagance? In his youth, he made a purchase of two (2) luxury yachts in one night. The next morning, his father made him return them. What is their greatest regret? Not having had pursued medicine. What is their perception of redemption? Redemption is achievable, attainable, so long as one makes the effort. What would they do if they won the lottery? Invest half in the schools he plans to put up and invest half in stocks and bonds. What is their favorite fairytale? Tangled. What fairytale do they hate? Snow white. Do they believe in happy endings? Si. What is their idea of perfect happiness? Being in a luxurious paradise with the one/s you love and cherish. What would they ask a fortune teller? Would my life actually make an impact to the world? If your character could travel through time, where would they go? To the past. To be specific, the day his parents met. What sport do they excel at? Table tennis. What sport do they suck at? Soccer. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Teleportation.

[reachclimbing]

3 Ideas for Keeping Your Kids Active in the Summer

It’s important to give your kids things to do in the summer, when school lets out. Though the easiest option would be to let them enjoy their free time as they please, allowing them to laze in front of the TV or play video games all day definitely aren’t the most productive choices.

If you think that your children won’t appreciate being made to go to more classes on their summer vacation, though, you’re in luck. Below are a handful of fun and engaging activities you can enroll them in:

Rock Climbing If your child has never been in a rock-climbing facility before, you’ll love seeing the look on their faces when you bring them to one. Indoor rock climbing is an excellent physical activity for people of all ages—even kids as young as two and a half! It engages every part of the body as well as the mind, guaranteeing hours of fun.

You should be able to find rock climbing for beginners classes in most facilities that specialize in the sport. In the Philadelphia area, you won’t be able to find a better rock climbing gym than Reach Climbing & Fitness. They have qualified staff on standby who can help you learn the ropes. Reach Climbing & Fitness also offers a great summer camp for kids aged 6-14. Camp Reach combines attentive instruction in rock climbing for beginners with ninja warrior classes, where your kids can learn how to conduct themselves safely, solve puzzles, and play games. Because all sessions are conducted indoors, your little ones will be well-protected from the heat and harsh rays of the sun in the summer months.

Swimming Going to the beach or pool is an essential summer activity. Your children can cool off while learning how to swim, an essential skill, if you enroll them in swimming classes during their vacation.

Not only do swimming lessons help save lives, it’s also a low-impact physical activity that offers excellent health benefits. Like rock climbing, it engages the entire body, but your kids will barely feel like they’re working out. Learning how to swim can also help your child build confidence and teach them to be less afraid of water.

Martial Arts Few children will pass up on the chance to emulate the action heroes and characters they see on TV. There’s no better way to make this safe for them than through martial arts classes. You can choose from a wide variety of styles, depending on what your child is most interested in.

Like the aforementioned, martial arts is a highly engaging physical activity that will keep your kids limber. At these classes, respecting their instructors will also be deeply instilled. Their listening skills will likewise improve.

Enrolling your kids in summer classes doesn’t just give them something to occupy their time. In these environments, they’ll make new friends and learn important social skills, too. If you live in the Philadelphia area, consider enrolling your kids in Camp Reach at Reach Climbing & Fitness.

[philosopherking1887]

Philosophy in “Infinity War” Part I: Thanos vs. Ultron

As promised, I’m going to start talking about some of the philosophical issues raised in Avengers: Infinity War, and this first one gives me an opportunity to discuss something I’ve meant to for a while: why I find Ultron so interesting. Spoilers and long discussion are under the cut.

We find out in IW that Thanos wants to kill half of the living things in the universe because of his views about overpopulation and scarcity, which align with those of Thomas Malthus: that populations will always tend to expand beyond the means of society to provide for them, resulting in poverty, disease, and conflict. Malthus, of course, never proposed mass murder as a way to prevent these terrible outcomes, though he did think that famine and war, as the natural consequences of overpopulation, were God’s and/or nature’s way of correcting the problem -- and of (futilely) cautioning humanity against reproducing beyond its means. We also find out that Thanos arrived at these views based on harsh experience: his home planet, Titan, experienced ecological catastrophe as a result of overpopulation. Thanos warned his people as the catastrophe approached and proposed his solution -- random culling of the population -- but he was, of course, dismissed as a madman. He now lives (sometimes) on the lifeless, desert-like ruins of Titan, applies his solution to planets that he thinks are reproducing beyond their means -- including Gamora’s home planet -- and seeks the Infinity Stones so that he can apply it to the universe as a whole.

It seems obvious to me -- and should be obvious to him -- that this is only a temporary solution. He claims that the standard of living on Gamora’s home planet improved dramatically after he halved its population; but if that’s the case, then unless Thanos was also distributing free birth control and family planning education, people would just take advantage of their new prosperity to have more children. Maybe with all the Infinity Stones in the Gauntlet, he envisioned himself or one of his disciples doing The Snap every few centuries?

I’ve seen some commentary suggesting that Thanos’s outlook is only comprehensible or even remotely sympathetic from a very pro-capitalist standpoint which ignores the fact that capitalism generates artificial scarcity. There’s certainly something to that criticism; “Malthusian” views are usually dismissed in the same breath as “social Darwinism” as artifacts of 19th-century and/or mid-20th-century elitist, racist, greed-driven ideology. I think there’s a reason Titan’s demise was depicted as an ecological catastrophe, considering the looming threat of climate change. Burning fossil fuels was a major part of how humanity harnessed the energy resources to be able to overcome natural scarcity, and now it’s biting us in the ass. That said, the technological advances that were enabled by the burning of fossil fuels for energy would probably enable us to stop burning fossil fuels if not for vested financial interests. And since population growth declines dramatically as societies become better educated and have more gender equality, it seems like it should be possible to stabilize a planet’s population so that it never exceeds the ecosystem’s ability to sustain it without resorting to mass murder. So yes, Thanos’s perspective and imagination seem extremely limited, and he’s drawing the wrong lesson from what happened to Titan. I guess he’s just really pessimistic about any society’s ability to overcome greed and education inequality...?

Thanos’s philosophical reasons for supporting mass murder of course call to mind another villain with philosophical reasons for mass murder (indeed, specicide, if that’s a word): Ultron. Predictably, I think Ultron makes much better points than Thanos does because they’re founded on observations about human nature rather than speculation about economic necessity. From looking at all of recorded human history, Ultron concludes that humanity has no moral right to exist because human beings have always, everywhere, been horrible to each other. If we solved all the scarcity problems that motivate Thanos, that would probably cut down on violence, but it would not eliminate it. I’m not at all sure that it’s possible to civilize human beings to the point that violence, small-scale or large-scale, never happens. That’s why Ultron says that humanity “needs to evolve”: human nature would have to change fundamentally in order to prevent the horrors that have littered human history.

Of course there’s a moral question here: is it morally right to eliminate a kind of being whose existence is, on the whole, an evil, or does it incur rights simply in virtue of existing? Pretty clearly, Ultron (like Thanos) is making a utilitarian calculation: cause a moderate amount of suffering in the short term in order to prevent a greater amount of suffering over the long term. But is that an acceptable trade-off, when those who enjoy the benefits are not the same as those who bear the costs? This issue -- consequentialist vs. deontological (i.e., rights-based, rule-based) ethics -- is the same one that’s explored in Watchmen, where Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias represents consequentialism and Rorschach (Mr. Black and White) represents deontology. In the MCU, Tony seems to represent the consequentialist perspective while Steve represents the deontologist; this is especially clear in IW with all that “we don’t trade lives” stuff (which I’ll have to discuss in more detail later). I myself don’t come down on either side all the time; I think it depends on the scale of decision-making. When you’re in a position of authority over large numbers of people, you’re going to have to make some consequentialist calculations; but in small-scale interpersonal interactions, you should operate like a deontologist. Tony thinks on the large scale and in the long term; Steve treats everything like an interpersonal interaction. But even on the large scale, there are times when consequentialist calculations lead to (what seem to us like) horrific conclusions. Tony has a human moral compass that allows him to avoid those; Ultron represents Tony’s consequentialist instincts writ large, with no human emotions to keep them in check. But there’s another question here: are our emotions a moral correcting mechanism, or do they impair our judgment? Would machines actually be better moral reasoners than human beings?

Ultron’s conclusion also raises a couple of interesting issues from a specifically Nietzschean perspective: one (meta)ethical and one metaphysical. (I’m not sure whether it’s a coincidence that Ultron quotes Nietzsche: “Like the man said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.’”) The (meta)ethical issue (I’m calling it that because it doesn’t fit cleanly into either normative ethics or metaethics as practiced in contemporary philosophy, which is clearly a limitation of contemporary philosophy) is the one that motivates Nietzsche’s main philosophical project: If the (Christian-descended) morality of compassion and altruism -- a morality that says that suffering and domination are the most terrible things, constituting an argument against the existence of anything that perpetuates them -- leads us to the conclusion that humanity, or life in general, ought not to exist, then why should we buy into the morality of compassion? One man’s modus ponens is another man’s modus tollens -- which, in English, translates to: one person who sees that a set of premises leads to a conclusion will just accept the conclusion; but another, finding the conclusion unacceptable, will instead reject one of the premises. Ultron, it seems, does not know how to reject the premise of the morality of compassion -- and that is almost certainly because it’s part of what Tony and Bruce programmed into him. His purpose was to protect human beings from suffering and domination by preventing alien invasion; the assumption that violence, war, and conquest are bad is fundamental to his very existence. Put in the facts of human history -- which make the prospects for an end to these things seem very dim -- and consequentialist reasoning rules, and you get the conclusion he in fact comes to.

Vision seems to express a quasi-Nietzschean attitude in his conversation with Ultron toward the end: “Humans are odd. They think order and chaos are somehow opposites, and try to control what won’t be. But there is grace in their failings. ... A thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts.” It’s interesting to me that Vision uses aesthetic terms in defense of humanity rather than moral ones. That’s another theme you find throughout Nietzsche’s writings. In The Birth of Tragedy (1872) he claims (under the influence of Wagner), “it is only as an aesthetic phenomenon that existence and the world are eternally justified”; by The Gay Science (1882), he has retreated to “As an aesthetic phenomenon existence is still bearable for us.” The world is not and cannot be good by the standards of the morality of compassion; suffering and exploitation are woven into its very fabric. The same is very likely true of humanity (and Nietzsche also thinks we wouldn’t like the result if humanity ever became entirely “good” in that sense...). If we judge them only by the standards of morality, they will always fall short; we must conclude that they are, on the whole, bad things, things that should not be. But humanity and existence can still be aesthetically interesting, even beautiful, in their mix of good and evil, smart and stupid, order and chaos.

The metaphysical question is: in what sense does the replacement of carbon-based human animals by robots count as an “evolution” of humanity rather than simply its extinction and the ascendance of something completely different? The movie encourages us to think about inheritance and legacy in nonstandard ways, most obviously by framing Ultron as Tony’s “child”: Ultron has learned some things from Tony and inherited some things from him via programming -- and we are now accustomed to thinking of genetics as a kind of natural “programming.” Tony even calls Ultron “Junior” and says “You’re going to break your old man’s heart.” By extension, then, AI is the “child” of humanity in general, its “brainchild” -- an expression that reflects how common procreation and childbirth metaphors are in talk of intellectual creativity (that’s all over the place in Nietzsche’s writing, btw). But the extreme difference between biological humanity and its AI “descendants” highlights a distinctively Nietzschean theme: the idea that success, for a species, is not a matter of its persistence in the same form, but of its “self-overcoming” (that’s an ideal that comes up a lot, for individuals as well as cultures and species). Often this means that the majority will have to perish, while only an unusual few survive: the mutants, the evolutionary vanguard (LOL, there’s another Marvel franchise...), the ones who are better adapted to changing conditions rather than the old environment that the species had previously been adapted for. The successor species might look very different from its progenitor species, even unrecognizable, but the former is still the legacy of the latter. What’s important is the survival of a lineage rather than the persistence of a type.