#age of ultron discussion

[artificialbreezy]

as discussed, here is multiple best friend!Davis thoughts ft thoughts @alloraiona triggered

SFW and NSFW thoughts under the cut ◡̈

best friend Davis absolutely has every one of your orders saved. doesn’t matter where it’s to, has them all saved. and if your order changes based off mood? he’s got those saved too.

he takes you on tour, at first you were just a guest. just helping wherever they needed you at. now they can’t tour without you, they call you tour mom. (you just work with Matt up close and personal)

your bunk is always under his, and he always goes to the bus before he picks you up. he’s gotta have time to get all your snacks and drinks and goodies ready for you.

you guys met at a con, so the nerd in you both is so thrilled. he doesn’t care if you aren’t home, or if you’re in another country. when that new marvel movie comes out bet your ass he has the tickets, your outfits and the time READY

totally have matching bracelets, like those string friendship bracelets we all made back in the day. you’ve worn them since the first time you hung out and you just make copies of them whenever they fall off.

marvel movie binges are often. you’re an avengers gal, he’ll start the timeline beginning to end just so he can watch you fall asleep as soon as age of ultron starts just so he has an excuse to pull you closer to him

he swears you’re just friends

but when the next morning comes and you’re half asleep in the booth with Matt and he walks up with a large coffee just the way you want and a big smile on his face

everyone is putting pieces together

“went to bed late sweets, got you this and a sandwich whenever Matt lets you out of this box.” and he’ll kiss your head and walk away

Matt’s just 👀🤔😏

“we’re just friends!” you’d swear even though your heart definitely picked up the second his lips were on your head

and he’s your phones wallpaper you’re also his

and maybe that’s when little pieces click, is when you leave your phone unlocked on the table by him

“why’s that your wallpaper?”

“it’s my two favorite boys, duh.”

and now HIS heart is beating really fast and he doesn’t know why. you’re just his bestest friend who he can’t stop thinking about and he wishes he could call when he’s alone and stuck in his hotel room, who also looks so fucking good in his clothes it makes him want to explode

oh my god. he’s attracted to his best friend

that’s when his body move faster than his brain, his lips are on yours in an instant

“can’t just say that shit, sweets.”

and it’s like a breath of fresh air for him when you kiss him back. like a piece of his soul is right where it’s meant to be

“i’d love nothing more than to keep kissing you, but i know the guys are gonna be back any second and i really don’t want them seeing you on my lap getting needy.”

and the second you’re off his lap, and right under his arm in they come

and you both look like you got caught doing something you’re not supposed to

you excuse yourself, too awkward to handle the rest of them right now. hand just sitting on your lips as you walk out.

Davis is QUICK to text you, “promise when we get a hotel room again i’ll do it again and i won’t leave you hanging.”

Matt CACKLES when he realizes how quick Davis’ phone was out.

“did we interrupt something?”

“fuck off Matt.”

[gavillain]

My thoughts and theories after Agatha All Along episode 3. Read no further if you haven't seen the episode yet.

SHARON NOOOOOOO :'( Honestly, with the way Agatha brought her along essentially to be a meat shield, it's not surprising that she died so early on the journey down the Witches' Road, but I was still surprised that they killed off the comic relief this early. But I caught that they didn't add Sharon's hair to the antidote when brewing the potion, and I think that'll be discussed next episode. The show definitely had to establish the stakes of the Road as life or death early on, and Sharon was the only character who they COULD kill off since she was the only one without a mystery to solve. Still, sad to see her go.

In more important news, though, MEPHISTO GOT NAME DROPPED. HE'S COMING ASDFGHJKL; Listen, after all the speculation we were all doing during WandaVision about Mephisto showing up, to hear him get referenced makes me EXCITED to see if that's just going to be a world building detail or if he's going to be relevant in the story.

Agatha giving up her son, Nicholas Scratch, for the Darkhold was established as a part of her reputation in this episode. The trailers confirm that it's a bit more complicated than that, so I'm curious to know the full story. Right now, I'm theorizing that the hair in the locket is Nicholas's, and, if you remember from WandaVision, she plucked that locket off of her mother's corpse after stealing mommy's powers. So, I'm fairly certain Agatha sacrificing Nicholas is tied in with why her mother tried to have her executed back in the 1600s, and maybe Mama Harkness did something that resulted in her grandson's death? I dunno, but I wanna know! I think Nicholas Scratch IS still alive, though, and I think he's going to be the twist Big Bad of the show.

Teen is pretty obviously Billy Kaplan, and it's so obvious in fact that I wonder if it's going to be a bait and switch and he's somehow Nicholas? But like... maybe I'm overthinking it and it's only obvious that he's Billy to us comics fans. For normies watching this with only WandaVision and Multiverse of Madness for context, him being Billy WOULD be a really interesting twist, so we'll see! Regardless, he's the only person on the Road who I am reasonably certain is going to make it out alive.

The hallucinations for Lilia, Jennifer, and Alice were all interesting, though they left more questions than answers: *Lilia saw what looked like Russian royalty taunting her saying "they're all dead" as they took on more decayed and corpselike forms. I joked to my boyfriend that it was the Romanovs, but that's honestly not necessarily out of the question. Lilia in the comics is the "queen of the gypsies" in Scarlet Witch's childhood, so maybe in this verse, she was a part of the Sokovian royal family before their dynasty was killed off by revolutionaries that led to the political turmoil of Sokovia that we saw in Age of Ultron. Being a psychic, I'm willing to bet Lilia survived because she saw the massacre coming but no one else believed her, sort of a Cassandra figure. I could be WAY off base, but I like my theory.

*Jennifer is the one who I have the least read on her hallucination with the weird man trying to drown her. We know that she is bound, unable to use her powers, so is this man maybe the one who bound her? Or is he someone else tied to the events that led to her being bound? She's been bound for a little over a hundred years, and the man's clothes seemed to be from that time period. In the comics, she's from Florida and was an ally of Man-Thing, so maybe something in her story is going to tie back into Werewolf by Night? We'll have to see!

*Alice's hallucinations are the most straight forward, she saw her mother weeping because her grandmother had passed away and the mother felt it. We know her mom was a witch, and we can pretty safely assume that the grandmother was one too, I think. The mother mentions that since whatever killed the grandmother got her, now it's after her, and since we know Alice's mom is dead in the present day, that would mean that this mysterious force is now after Alice too. What is this force, though? Alice tells Teen that she has a tattoo that wards off a curse that plagues her family bloodline that her mother made her get, so is it just this curse that's after her or is it connected to something else? In the trailer, we see Alice exploding with fire as a demonic entity emerges from her. I doubt this is Mephisto, since I think if Mephisto has ties to anyone here, it'll be Teen or Rio, but maybe some subordinate of his? In the comics, she and Wanda worked together to defeat a being called Dark Tongji. I think it's likely that he's the being hunting her bloodline.

Then a few notes from earlier:

1. The Salem Seven - I went back to WandaVision for a refresher, and, not counting Agatha's mom, the coven that Agatha murders and drains of their magic in her backstory numbers at seven and they were in Salem... I'm putting money that the Salem Seven is what's left of Agatha's old coven hunting her down, or at least their descendants.

2. Rio keeps getting hints that keep lining up to hint that she's a genderbent version of Blackheart, which has me excited! I don't know if they're actually going to go this route, and her being a "Green Witch" kinda makes it a bit weird. But they keep reiterating "black heart" in relation to her and now they've referenced Mephisto, his father. So I think if Rio isn't literally Blackheart, she's at least possessed by him. We'll have to see. But I do love the crackship of Agatha Harkness/genderbent Blackheart for lesbian Marvel villain lovers. That tickles me XD

Overall, SUPER into this show thus far, and I LOVE that there's so much mystery and intrigue to piece together! I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE FOUR, I NEED IT NOOWWWWWWWWWW

[luna-rainbow]

i FINALLY watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (i'm a marvel fan because i've seen the characters on tumblr 🫣🫣) and i noticed in the scene where steve tries to lift the hammer he smirks with his face tilted kind of down, sort of like he's trying to hide his face. SO i wanted to know,, do you think he knew he could lift the hammer way back then and just didn't say anything? i knew that scene existed, but i assumed he didn't know that Thor stopped him... maybe not? *grabby hands* what thoughts do you got?

Thanks for the ask, nonnie!

I am not very well-versed in the Thor mythos, but it's impossible to talk about this scene without discussing what lifting Mjolnir actually means. "Whosoever holds this hammer, be he worthy, shall posses the power of Thor" -- and there is a lot of debate on what exactly this "worthiness" means. In particular, what does it mean when you consider that blessing is bestowed by Odin, the ruler of Asgard, and instigator of many wars and (again I haven't watched the Thor movies in years so don't quote me) near-genocides. That said, when Odin set out to strip Thor of his powers in the first movie, the older Odin is a very different God to his younger days, and there is a sense of ruefulness about his past victories. Based on the first movie alone and its depiction of what Thor learned before becoming "worthy", I feel that the core values are around selflessness and compassion and humility, as opposed to being a brutal and ruthless and egocentric monarch. So, while there is some value in the interpretation of Mjolnir being a judge of worthiness for a monarch, I tend to lean towards the interpretation of Mjolnir making a judgement for a benevolent leader. (But yeah, the Thor franchise is also about as consistent as the Cap franchise...ie. the third movies really dropped the bundle on themes and character arcs).

Now onto the scene in question!

I like both popular interpretations of this scene -- that Steve could lift it but decided not to. I mean, it's a pretty difficult scene to physically enact with a light prop, but the close-up of Evans' hands would support this theory. You can see his hands loosening as the hammer shifted and his loose grip sliding back on the handle (rather than a true slip from gripping something heavy). There's all sorts of reasons for why Steve wouldn't want to lift it -- he felt it would spoil the party, he didn't want to deal with the ribbing or questions afterwards, he has no use for Mjolnir, he knows how important Mjolnir is to Thor and doesn't want him to distrust that magic link.

I also like the second interpretation that Steve had to further grow as a person before being able to lift Mjolnir in Endgame. Again, it could be for a variety of possible reasons: Steve needing to truly separate from his "Captain America" identity between Civil War and Infinity War, or Steve truly growing into his defiance of authorities, or maybe even something as simple as Steve having some measure of accepting grief and loss, because he's certainly gone through a lot of that between Infinity War and Endgame.

To be quite honest, the most poetic ending they could have given Steve was to die in that battle. He was worthy of wielding Mjolnir because he was once again -- just like on the Valkyrie all those decades ago -- ready to lay down his life for the rest of mankind.

[benjinoff13]

random things i noticed about this scene in age of ultron that’s actually acceptable

nat looks at maria in this scene while maria pulls the glass from her foot, she’s obviously worried about her and checks on her every chance she gets even if they aren’t in a good place at the moment

~~~

looking at maria again

~~~

WHY IS SHE WEARING HEELS?!?!? they were having a fancy party so nat obviously wore heels and a dress, that made perfect sense cause everybody was dresses up, then after the attack it’s very noticeable that nat changed her outfit, she went from a beautiful but uncomfortable and unpractical dress to her more casual clothes that we see nat in more often, jeans and a hoodie, nat seems to love her hoodies, but here’s the thing, they’re at stark tower where she LIVES at the moment, she’s basically in her own home after they were all attacked and they’re discussing what to do next, she changed her clothes to more comfortable and practical ones so why on earth is she wearing heels?? no woman would ever do this ESPECIALLY not nat

~~~

maria bandaging her foot, idk why this is so cute to me but it is i love everything she does

~~~

maria looking absolutely fantastic in her dress, steve’s jacket and her fluffy hair

~~~

the first line is said by maria and the second is said by nat meaning they actually have a canon interaction apart from the one(s) in winter soldier which i never noticed before because i never watch this movie

[thelonesomequeen]

Ladies, I love the discussion today! Definitely interesting for bloggers like me, who aren’t plugged in to all this history bc we haven’t been around as long.

You mentioned confirmation of the Jenny breakup as being a memorable fandom moment because it was something the fandom suspected for a while that finally got confirmed. What are some other top fandom moments that really stood out for you?

Ooooh we love this! I’m sure we’re forgetting a lot, but here’s a few fun moments in no particular order:

-The year Chris took Carly to the Oscars, a lot of the fandom didn’t realize she was his sister and they had an absolute MELTDOWN over his “girlfriend” 😂 (people also confused Tara as his girlfriend for a hot minute when he took her to the Oscar’s but they were quick to clear that up!)

-When he showed up real drunk and slap happy to the Age of Ultron premiere

-When Chris shared his uh…sexual preferences that same night on Jimmy Kimmel. In prime time 😂

-The “are they/aren’t they” debate surrounding him and Hayley Atwell. Here’s a fun video of him scaring her at his house from that summer: https://youtu.be/N3B72tdYoq0?si=N-9_mQWqR36BlNA_

-When Lisa was not afraid to get on twitter and fight rude fans 😂

-When he (allegedly) got in a bar fight in Boston after someone didn’t recognize him from Fantastic Four (oh the messy Boston Tea days in general!)

-When he was in his messy frat boy era and was kicked out of parties and clubs a few times 😂

-When he (allegedly) hooked up with Scarlett Johansson on the set of The Perfect Score, making way for their shipper fandom which I think still might be going to this day 😂

-When Chris stepped out in this shirt:

-(a wholesome one) When he shared his first time meeting Dodger and we learned his original name was Benny 😍😭 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4RKlGq0UgaQ&pp=ygUYQ2hyaWQgZXZhbnMgbWVldHMgZG9kZ2Vy

-When fans discovered his old modeling career that included Abercrombie ads and a spot on the mystery date game:

[jinxquickfoot]

So I finished my Age of Ultron rewatch. It's been a couple of years since I last saw it, and here are some random thoughts I had on it:

Things I will maintain I like about this movie:

It has some of my favorite jokes in the MCU, and they're usually the little moments. The little nod of validation Rhodey makes after getting a laugh at his "Boom! You looking for this?" story. Clint telling Steve he's no match for Ultron and Steve replying with, "Thanks, Barton". Clint's "Yeah, you better run" after Pietro has long since disappeared with Wanda, there are loads of them.

I like Vision, Wanda and Pietro. Despite being secondary characters with not a huge amount of screen time, Wanda and Pietro feel like real people with real backstories, and Paul Bettany is wonderful the first time we see him as Vis.

It's the only movie we get to see the Original 6 hang out as friends.

I love that Fury randomly shows up in the middle and is like "let me make a sandwich while we discuss how not to let the world end also by the way hi Tony I really care about you"

Other casual appearances of other MCU characters, something that is so lacking Phase 4 onwards. Sam being at the party and Thor going to Selvig for help makes the world feel lived in.

RDJ's never dropped the ball as Tony but his performance really stuck out to me here, god he's good

Steve and Thor have multiple moments of teaming up and working together, what an underrated duo

Hulk vs Iron Man suit inside an Iron Man Suit fight

The Avengers do their best to evacuate Sokovia before Ultron attacks, which does not excuse the amount of damage caused there, but I do think is a plot point everyone forgets about (myself included)

And things that annoy me (skipping over the stuff everyone talks about like the Natasha/Bruce plot):

I hate how Joss Whedon writes Steve, both here and in Avengers. He only feels like Steve when he's being given jokes, otherwise he is so self-serious and stiff, the core of Steve is his heart and it is nowhere to be found in this movie

The movie spends so long setting up character arcs that feel promising and have no payoff. What is the point of Laura telling Clint the Avengers need him if he's going to retire at the end of the movie. Steve has several references to finding home in a way that doesn't go anywhere (Until Endgame, I guess). Don't get me started on Natasha.

It's trying so hard to have a theme but it never says anything unique. Bruce, Tony, Natasha and Vision all refer to themselves as monsters. Ultron decides that the Avengers are the bad guys. Steve has a speech all about proving they're not the monsters Ultron says they are. Based on WHAT? What is the message of this movie?? That the Avengers are better than the evil AI who wants to kill everyone?

(I half-feel there was a previous draft where Clint was their heart, or something, or he died and they were like whelp Phil Coulson 2.0 let's go avenge him, and the random pieces of that are still floating around the script with nowhere to go)

NO ONE is remotely concerned enough when their friends are getting hurt (maybe just the hurt/comfort lover in me, but still.) Natasha comes across as the only person who cares when Clint sustains a life-threatening injury. No one seems to be bothered that Natasha is being held captive by a psychotic supervillain. Tony shows more emotion over a fictional future where they die than when someone is actually in danger.

They really could have had a premise where they weren't allowed to access technology at all and could have gone retro with everything and they didn't and that just feels like a wasted opportunity. Clint and Natasha digging out old spy tech. Steve being like "Yes! This is familiar! I got this!" Tony making genius inventions out of tech from fifty years ago. Come on, it was right there.

[olderthannetfic]

Joss Whedon did what no one else could for me: got me to quit my superhero addiction and move on to things that were actually well-written. Age of Ultron's "oh God don't ever let a serious moment be serious THROW MORE JOKES IN everyone is so snarky and quirky teehee look they're making funny ha-has in a fight!!1!" got me out of the nerd-to-lifelong-loser pipeline and kept me from becoming a dudebro who only watches superhero movies, discusses characters only in terms of who could win against who in a fight and thinks having references = good writing.

--

[checkingoutforheroes]

B.A.B.Y PROTOCOL

Part 4.

Avengers x fem!reader

Words: 1333

Synopsis: This takes place in Avengers: Age of Ultron. When The Avengers were at the rock bottom, Nick Fury and advised by Maria Hill, to initiate the B.A.B.Y Protocol. Will a young, damaged and broke girl agree to this initiative and help a team to save this planet earth?

Part 3

Main Masterlist

“There, that’s the truck from the lab. Right above you, Cap. By the bridge, it’s them. Got three with the cradle. I can take out the driver.” Clint was ready to shoot the truck but Steve disagree. “Negative. The truck crash, the gem could level the city. We need to draw out Ultron.” He jumps on the truck to get its attention.

Well, he did get its attention and it pissed. “No, no, no. Leave me alone!” Ultron shoot the truck door almost hit Steve. “Well, he is really unhappy! I’m trying to keep it that way!” Steve shouted while hanging on the broken door.

“You’re not a match for him, Cap.” Clint stated. “Thanks Barton.” Steve muttered.

Natasha sees the situation from their jet. “He needs help.” “I guess you wanna unpack your birthday present.” Clint told her to go behind the jet and wait for his queue. She pressed the button for the metal box and saw an electric Harley Davidson and mutter to herself. “That’s a birthday present.” She hops on the bike and waiting for Clint’s to open the bay. “We got a window. In 3,2, give him hell.”

The fights between them and the robots can take too much time and damaged. Natasha make other plans to their original plan of taking the cradle safely because it’s not working out so safe. “This isn’t going nowhere. Clint, can you draw the guards out?”

Clint shooting at Ulron in front of Steve trying to lure the minions out. “Let’s find out.” Three of the guard out and the truck is empty.

“Cap, keep him occupied. I’m going in!” Natasha drop her bike and jump into the truck.

Steve let out an exhausting breath. “What do you think I’ve been doing?”

Meanwhile at the tower, you walk on Maria and Fury’s discussion. “How’s everything? Did they get him?” Maria and Fury acknowledge your present and she pull a chair for you. “You should be on bed.” You just sat slowly on it. “Nah, I’ve been worse. This is nothing.”

Maria rolling her eyes at you. “You’ve been dead for 6 minutes until Tony change your device. What are worse than that?” You don’t have answer for that and Fury coming at you too. “And when are you planning on telling us? Next Christmas?” “I don’t even ask for it and I like to keep it shut. It’s not something to be proud of.” He huffs, “Once this is over, you’re going to see a doctor.” “Why everybody keeps telling me to find a doctor? I’ve been fine all this time. I’m here not to be taking care of. I’m here because the world is at stake and I’m here to help. Doing something, at least.”

“Proof that. Until then, you’re off the mission. Agent Hill, follow me to pick up our old stuff back.” Fury order. “Can I tag along?” Maria turns to you. “We’ll be back. Why don’t you help us monitoring them for us? Use this for contact and maybe help Stark and Banner. But please, for the love of God, don’t ever piss him off.” She walks out of the room, following Fury.

Bruce notice you’re walking towards them. “How’s your feeling?” “Just another day at the office. Still getting the hang of it.”

Tony and Bruce watched and heard some of your conversation earlier. “Gotta admit. I adore your spirit.” Tony expressed. “I never thank you, to both of you yet. Thank you, for saving my life.” Bruce smiling softly and nod. “You’re welcome.”

“Are you kidding? We’re a team. We’re the Avengers. Once you step a foot in this building, you’re the Avengers. We help each other. Well, maybe some of us being a pain in ass but yeah, you’re one of us now. Welcome to the club kid.” Tony reasoned it for you and your eyes lit up on them. “Really? You mean that? Am I, an Avengers?” Tony looking at Bruce while he continues working on his computer. “Bruce. Back me up here.” “I don’t see why not. You’re young and we’re all above 30. We can use a fresh blood.” “Legacy. Thanks Shrek.” Tony responded and you let out a chuckle “I guess you’re the one being the pain in ass.” “Everyone asses” Bruce nod down and we’ll continue our work.

While trying to crack the code for that cradle, Natasha feels the truck lifting. “The package just air borne. I have a clean shot.” Clint tell them on the comm. “Negative. I am still in the truck.” she needs to think fast.

“What the hell did you...” Natasha cut his sentences while cutting the rope that tied to the cradle. “Just be ready. I’m sending the package to you.”

Clint ready on his position. “How do you want me to take it?”

“Uhhh… You might wish you didn’t ask that.”

Wanda fly in the train to help Steve and front the Ultron. “Please. You don’t have to do that.” Somehow, Ultron is kinda sound scared and he fly out the train. “Surveillance in our path. Can you stop this train?” Steve ordered and both of them do their best to stop the train and people around it.

Once the cradle touches the Quinn jet floor, Ultron manage to snatch Natasha’s leg and take her with him. “Nat!” Clint saw the incident but he can’t do anything to help her while piloting the jet. “Cap, did you see Nat?”

“If you have the cradle, take it to Stark!” Steve ordered.

“Do you have eyes on Nat?!” Asking again for confirmation.

“Go!” Steve shout.

Wanda telling Steve about what Ultron’s plan. “I read him. Ultron can’t tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it. We have to move fast.”

He disappointed and fly that jet back to the tower and leave his friend behind. “Damn it!” He contact the tower when he’s close for them to prepare and inform about their current situation. “Quinn jet to tower. Quinn jet to tower.” You hear his voice and press a button to accept his call. “Quinn jet, this is Y/N speaking from the tower. You’re affirm to report.” Clint told you that he’s 15 minutes away to arrive and Natasha is missing in action. “Oh God.” You pull down the headset and running to find Tony and Bruce. “They’ve got Nat. She’s m.i.a.” Bruce takes his glasses off. “You have her tracker right?” Tony rush to his computer “I’ll find her.”

You and Banner helps Clint unload the cradle and bring it into the lab and Tony walks in. Disappointment shows on his face and Bruce ask before I do. “Did you find her?” He just walks straight toward the cradle. “Haven’t heard but I’m sure she’s alive or Ultron would rub us in the face.” Seriously? Did he truly find her at all? You want to ask him that but Clint change the topic. “This seal tight.” He stands next to you.

Tony turn around to look at both of you and Clint, ignoring Bruce. “Is there any chance she might leave a massage outside the internet? Old school spy stuff perhaps.”

“You worry about the cradle.”

“We’ll find her.” Both you and Clint walks out that lab.

Clint handle the modern tech frequency while you handle the old one. “You okay with that? Wanna switch up?” You tuning on the frequency “I’m good. I can’t be near that high tech frequency anyway. That’s why I still have my Walkman and not Bluetooth headset. You know, because my…” You pointing at your left chest and he nodding. “Right. I hope she led us somewhere.” You smile at him. “She’s Natasha. She’ll make plan.”

It is true. Natasha did figure something out. While you tuning the frequency, you hear a static note. Tuning it again to have a clear shot. Natasha sending you her location by Morse code. You tell Clint to decode it on the screen. “You’re right. She did have plan.”

[ask-overwatch-heroes]

I'm hyperfixating on both Marvel and Overwatch right now so, Ramattra and Zenyatta have you two seen age of ultron? if so, what was y'all's opinion on it?

Zenyatta: I appreciate that an artistic piece so readily mainstream is able to get people discussing such a complex and nuanced situation.

Ramattra: Ultron was fucking right! Vision was a little bitch for siding with the humans!

[theconstantsidekick]

Avengers: Age Of Ultron ft. Static (1) | s.r

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader, Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings), Natasha Romanoff x Stark!Reader (just a sprinkle)

Genre: Fluff with hidden angst.

Summary: The Avengers decide to party in the middle of which Tony and Natasha discuss his sister's embarrassing love life with the Golden Boy.

(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking.

a/n: I couldn't help myself. I have no idea why I think this is funny. Dedicated to @buckrecs cause she was wayyyy too kind and gave me a shoutout!

Captain America: Civil War (ft. Static) | Series Masterlist | The Avengers (ft. Static) | Captain America: The Winter Soldier (ft. Static) | Static Verse Masterlist

“A little birdy told me your Brooklyn boy’s been looking for a new place.”

They’re at the farewell party. Both Stark siblings are safely tucked in a corner at the bar, looking over at the guests with warm eyes and warmer throats, CAUSE OOH! The whiskey might be smooth going down but doesn’t make feel you any less hot.

She rolls her eyes. “Sam told you that?” She cocks her brow in question, “He voluntarily shared that information with you?” 

“Maybe he did,” Tony shrugs. “Or maybe I overheard him while I was passing by.”

“While you were snooping,” she corrects him.

Leaning her back against the bar top by her elbows, he’s gotta admit; his sister never fails to surpass him stylistically. She’s wearing a gorgeous green dress and looking ethereal, as per usual.

“I admit to no such thing,” He counters from where he’s standing next to her, facing somewhere halfway between her and the party ahead.

“You just did,” she bites back.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“DID TOO!”

“DID NOT! Take it up with my lawyer!”

She rolls her eyes again in mock offense but the small upturn of her lips gives her away. 

He smiles too. Then back to the point he goes. “Why don’t you ask him to move in with you?” Tony suggests.

“You think you’re the first person to come up with that bright idea, Stark?” She asks with the utmost discontent and a cocked eyebrow. 

Yeah, no. Tony’s not taking her shit on this one. “Okay, smartass. Be nicer and answer politely.”

Sighing, she throws her head back in a kind of defeat he’s not used to seeing on her. “I already offered, he declined.”

“How’d you ask?” That shit really fucking matters… he may or may not be speaking from experience. “Maybe you didn’t do it right.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean? You think I don’t know how to ask my boyfriend if he’d like to move in with me?”

He shrugs again, dubious. “You’ve never actually had a serious relationship before this… maybe you did it wrong.”

“I didn’t do it wrong!” She seems adamant, he thinks.

He needs to be sure though.

“But what if you did?”

“My god, Stark! I did it perfectly well. And his answer was clear; he is not interested,” she answers, frustration clear in her voice.

“But what if it went over his head?” Leaning in closer, he whispers, “The old timer is older than—” He decides against finishing that sentence, instead opting to point towards her with his eyes. “You catch my drift?” 

“Stark,” it’s a warning.

As if warnings work on him.

She didn’t even call me ‘Anthony’, he thinks. Easy territory.

So, undeterred he continues, “You should be straight forward. Go up to him, say, ‘Hey, cuddle pie, I know you’re looking for a place (on account of your long lost best friend coming back from the dead destroying your old one) and I, coincidentally, happen to have one! So you should move in.” 

“Tony I—”

Cutting her off with a wave, he confesses, “The cuddle pie thing is a little weird, I’ll admit that but the rest is fair enough. Come on! What’s the worst that can happen?”

“He could say no… which he did.” 

“That’s why I’m suggesting that you try it my way—”

“Dude!” She cuts him off, loudly. “That is EXACTLY what I said—verbatim… which, by the way, is really weird that you guessed it to a T.” Squinting, she mumbles almost to herself, “Maybe we spend too much time together.”

“Too late to worry about that now,” once again he waves his hand, dismissing her concerns, focused completely on the dumpster fire in front of him. “You said that? Exactly that?” She just nods in response. “And?”

“He said no.”

“What were his exact words?” He’s fucking curious. More than that monkey George ever was. This is curious stuff. Come on.

She stands up straighter, puffs up her chest, pretending to be the star-spangled man himself. “‘I really appreciate the offer, but I kinda like living in Brooklyn… and I wouldn’t want to impose.’”

Tony stares at her for a second. His hand slowly comes to cover his mouth in complete dismay. “Best case scenario? He really doesn’t want to move in with you… Worst case scenario? The man is beyond saving.”

She nods in agreement, “I mean, I think I would have taken it better if he just told me he doesn’t want to live with me.”

Tony tilts his head, nodding in confused agreement. “This was horrible. I am embarrassed on your behalf.”

“Share the burden with me, Stark. I need the assist.” Clinking their glasses together, they empty their respective drinks. 

“You sure sound like you do.” A voice chimes in from behind them.

“HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKS!” Both of them scream out in unison, turning to the intruder of conversations, and suffice it to say, there’s not an ounce of shock regarding who it is.

“How long have you been there??!” Tony asks, hand on his heart, trying to calm it down.

A completely unbothered Natasha answers, “Long enough to feel embarrassed on your behalf.” The woman is so unbothered, she doesn’t even look up from the drink she’s making for herself. “So what’s the plan now?”

Sighing, Y/n reaches over the bar and pours herself… that’s a double and a single, that’s a triple, fuck. She pours herself some (read; a lot) of whiskey. “I think the sane thing to do would be find his realtor, put an offer on whichever place he picks, and make sure he can’t get a place at all.” She drinks the whole thing in one fluid motion.

Natasha nods in agreement. “I can get his number.”

“I can put the offer,” Tony proposes.

“Or I could do the insane thing and have an actual conversation with him,” Y/n muses, pouring another drink and chugging it down as well.

“Talking has never solved anything,” Natasha claims at the same time as Tony asks, “Who’s ever found peace via a conversation?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Y/n agrees with a small smile.

“I must say, I never thought you could embarrass yourself,” Natasha comments, taking a sip of her drink.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/n counters, brows furrowed in confusion.

“I hate to say it, but the woman’s got a point,” Tony takes the bottle from Y/n’s hands and pours himself a drink, just to break her cycle if nothing else. “I’ve never actually seen you being rejected before.”

Y/n levels both of them with an unimpressed look. “I’ve been rejected plenty.” She points to Natasha then, “Take this one for instance. She’s been rejecting me since day 1.”

Natasha just smiles.

“Let me amend my statement,” Tony offers, leaning closer to the bar top. “I’ve never actually seen you being defeated before… You take your rejections in stride.”

“This one’s different,” Y/n answers simply.

“How so?” Natasha asks, taking another sip of her drink.

“Cause it’s Steve—?” Y/n throws her hands up on confusion. Huffing she tries again, “I don’t know. It feels… I don’t understand. I don’t understand him.” She snatches the bottle from Tony’s hand and man if that doesn’t leave him with war flashbacks from his 21st birthday. “There are days—days where he looks at me and I can tell he feels at home… Like he’s found a piece of home? Maybe? I don’t know… But then there are other days where he looks at me and I can tell he doesn’t want to get any closer than we already have. Like there is something holding him back.”

There is silence. 

Then both Natasha and Tony speak up at the same time, almost talking over each other. “Talking about this major issue in your relationship is obviously not the solution,” she says, while Tony comments, “Honest conversations are a trap made by Satan himself! I forbid it!”

Smiling a little, Y/n looks at them. “Don’t act all high and mighty like either of you are any better than me,” she accuses, pointing from one to other.

And, what blasphemy does this woman speak! Tony’s a star honest converser.

“I absolutely am better than you! My girlfriend does live with me,” Tony bites back.

Which is instantly followed by Natasha’s defence. “No, no, no. This is exclusively a Stark siblings issue—” both Starks’ oncoming arguments are cut off before they even begin. “I have my fair share of faults but this is not one of them.”

Apparently that makes Y/n scoff. “Oh yes yes. Both of you are exemplary examples of talking feelings. I mean it’s not like—” she looks at Tony, “—you ever lied to your girlfriend about slowly being poisoned to death by the palladium in your chest.” Then her eyes turn to Natasha, “And of course you lovingly serenade everyone to sleep so they can avoid their big, bad, green anger management issues.”

The three of them stare at each other in silence for a few seconds. 

And then,

“I think Sam’s the one who got Steve his realtor; I’ll get his contact information,” Natasha offers.

“I’ll go tell my staff to start making aliases so we can put down counter offers,” Tony says.

With that both of them walk away, scattering in different directions. 

Y/n nods to herself, triumphant with a smirk. “That’s what I thought.”

Find the Static Verse Masterlist here. Read The Avengers (ft. Static) here.

tag list : @aryksworld @freeflyingphoenix @arikarapli @just-anotherstan @justab-eautifulmess @ceo-of-daichi @roxannejblack @liketearsintherainn @paintballkid711 @starkleila @heyitsmereading @fairlygothparents @euphoria-svt @sidepartskinnyjeans @mini-kunoichi @third-broparcelicito @siwiecola @haleybutnotthecomet @mvaldez7821 @rockybutmakeitlame @romanoffswoman @ashpeace888 @hopeofwinter @percabethfangirl987 @lilfuturescars

Hit me up if you want to be added or removed from the tag list.

[haveihitanerve]

Guys, lets travel back in time a lil. (ooh poor choice of words) but lets head back to Avengers Age of Ultron, arguably my favorite marvel movie, and lets discuss Clint. Clint has done his duty. He is tired, he wants to go home, the people are on the helicarriers, his teammates are finishing up and safe, and hes just a tired dad who wants to go to Fury, see that his besties are alright, and go home. And that lady starts calling for her son. Or brother i don't really remember- but anyway, hes hears her, and hes a hero. He has to go back. So he drops off the little ship with a sigh, and scans the area. He spots the little boy, and he goes to collect him, lightly jogging. Now, personally, when I first watched this scene, a few warning bells were going off. Because, come on, its a marvel movie. Its an unnecessary scene. So I knew something had to be amiss. And so he picks up the kid, and is about to walk back to the ship, when Ultron arrives. And look at Clints face. Grim realization. He doesn't make a mad dive out of the way, he doesn't try to run. No, he turns, cupping this kids head, and shields him using his own body. Everyone talkies about Pietro’s death and how much it sucked and all that- and I agree. Pietro could have easily become one of my fav avengers had he lived. But let me repeat something- Clint was fully willing to die- right there and right now. Hes an avenger, a friend, and a hero. But at his core? He’s a father. And he turned, and put his body in the line of fire, willing to take those bullet so the kid could live. 

WE ALMOST LOST CLINT IN THE SECOND AVENGERS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway. Thats all. Just something to think about.

[thedogsled]

Fic options!

So finally, auction number 3025, currently still a bargain at $50 for a minimum of 20k words! This year I'm offering Winterbaron as the main ship, but don't let that dishearten you! I'm overflowing with ideas of my own, of course, but I'm also happy to do any of yours! (Don't worry, next year I'll offer a wider spectrum of pairings again!) That said, if you want to mix and match the pairings this year, I would be delighted to write you Winterbaron with a side of any other pairing you have in mind. It can be poly, a threesome, a set of pairings, or it could be a recovery fic, where another ship or the Winterbaron is past tense! So I'm going to write some suggestions below, and if you fancy any of these for yourself or have some other Winterbaron idea you'd love to see attentively written, you know where to go to bid! I also accept pods, so if there's a plot that really jumps out at you, get your friends together and win that thing! Gen ideas: - Bucky is struggling with fitting back into the real world. His court ordered therapist had NO idea, and after Zemo is secured on the Raft, Bucky starts visiting him weekly and sitting and talking with him. It doesn't occur to him that Zemo is his new therapist. - Bucky finds himself in Sokovia during Age of Ultron. He just happened to be hiding out in Novi Grad insted of Bucharest. He's trying to help people to safety when he runs into Wanda on the battlefield, who recognizes him as The Soldier and...turns him into a cat. Zemo finds this trembling, three legged creature curled up in the rubble and takes care of him when they're both in a time of need. Zemo is sad, and BuckyKitty loves headrubs. Explicit ideas: - Arranged marriage, fantasy AU or canon: The royal family of Sokovia has no interest in the ruins of their country, and the claim to the throne trickles down as far as Baron Zemo, but the country is such a threat to global superpowers in the state that it's in that a marriage is arranged between a guy the government has under their thumb, and this brand new Sokovian head of state. - Alternative version of above: Latveria and Sokovia have been at war for centuries. Doom requires submission from Sokovia, and Bucky is sent to supervise the peace talks. Everything goes to shit...kinkily. Turns out both leaders have a weakness for bringing Avengers to their knees. - Rumlow kidnaps Bucky, first few chapters are ruthless retraining sessions, then the story switches gears, as Rumlow presents Bucky to his buyer: Baron Zemo; a man with wealth and power enough to keep Crossbones' mercenary unit in ammunition and employment for as long as he wants. - Zemo liberates Bucky from Karpov, who on escaping from HYDRA took the Winter Soldier with him to Cleveland, and has had him hidden there for decades. Bucky is much more like himself without the Chair to wipe his memories, but he is traumatized, mute, and will probably never be the same again--but Zemo can't leave him there to fend for himself, now, can he? - Bucky is struck by an errant spell while on a mission with team TFATWS. He doesn't want to tell anyone, but it's affected his memory, giving him vibrant flashes - as though he's there - of highly emotional, close experiences with his former handlers, and with Steve. He can't discuss this with Sam, but Zemo is there to help. - WB torture fic: Zemo kidnaps Bucky, his revenge plan isn't as complicated as it is in Civil War, in fact it's simple: torture Bucky Barnes. Send pieces of him back to Steve in boxes. Drive Captain America crazy, and then die in the process of Bucky being rescued. - Sequel to my fic Unconventional - Zemo belongs to the Winter Soldier now, under Steve's version of HYDRA. Will the Soldier kill him? Will Zemo talk him into a coup? Who will survive? (Can feature other characters, Tony, Nat, Clint etc. I can't remember who's alive in this universe) (end of part 2) Part 1 Part 3

[xalygatorx]

Worthy (2015) | Prologue (0.5), "From the Desk of Director Nick Fury"

Worthy is a slow-burn SFW Marvelverse (films) romance between Loki and a female OC that spans the timeline of the mentioned films in the disclaimer section below. I got to connect some loose ends for myself that I noticed in the films and I hope that they're just as enjoyable for you to revisit as they were for me at the time of writing this and now, reposting it. (Fluff and angst within with a confirmed happy ending.)

Disclaimers: This is a previously completed and posted story from the Marvelverse films and includes canon from any and all films prior to (and not including) Avengers: Age of Ultron. It focuses most on Thor, Avengers, and Thor: The Dark World.

Following events of these films, we're in full headcanon territory, in part because the films that bust apart the later HC (Infinity War and Thor: Ragnarök) hadn't happened yet when I wrote this. The events of Agents of SHIELD are also not accounted for in this timeline despite the show airing during this time (I just didn't watch it).

I haven't posted anything like this in a while and even though this one is already done and just being resurrected on a new blog, I am nervous, besties.

Chapter Summary: Official documentation from Director Nick Fury discussing the first test run of the Avengers Initiative: a containment mission referenced only, mysteriously, as Subject “Camo.”

Pairing: Loki x Fem!OC

Warnings: None

Word Count: 139

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

All participants in Agent Coulson's response team to the recent collection operation "Camo" developments are ordered to call off their attempts. Any continued research will continue as planned. All physical attempts to contact and/or contain the subject will be deemed reckless and will result in suspension and whatever injuries your dumbassery earned you. Subject "Camo" will hereby be instated as a test operation of fluidity for Project "Avengers Initiative" and is no longer the direct assignment of this division. The subject has proved too dangerous and/or unstable for us to handle alone. This, of course, excludes you, Agent Barton. Congratulations. You made the team. Bring more arrows this time.

Nicholas Fury

NICHOLAS FURY

Director of Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division (S.H.I.E.L.D.) Washington, D.C.

Next chapter: Chapter 1, "Subject Camo"

[crash476]

Ugh...

Alright, I just got up and I go to the Peggy Carter tag to see some hate thrown her way about the HYDRA/SHIELD shit and who's responsible for what and guys...

I think we all know the difference between a Watsonian and Doylist explanation, and honestly, finding a diegetic answer is a lost cause. There is no diegetic answer.

The Iron Man and Avengers scripts imply that SHIELD is a fairly new organization - likely birthed after 9/11 like the Department of Homeland Security - which gets contradicted by the Agent Carter short, which itself is practically no longer canon by the Agent Carter show, which itself is barely canon due to Endgame. She's confirmed to be director of SHIELD in Agents of SHIELD - which itself is shunted to a separate universe because the film side of Marvel wasn't talking to the pre-Disney+ TV, particularly the AoS team. Like they were begging for scraps about Winter Soldier so they could account for HYDRA. They may as well have gotten nothing because the infiltration was completely dropped from the movie story line. You'd think it would be a bigger plot point in Age of Ultron, right? While there was some consequences in Civil War, the HYDRA infiltration comes off as a minor inconvenience at best.

Seriously, there's next to no discussion of it in universe following Winter Soldier. The only place it had an impact was AoS, which the movie side seemed determined to kill. It's like someone or a bunch of people up top got spooked about the HYDRA reveal and wanted to bury it deep in the past. Hell, the whole Captain Carter thing seems to be Marvel's attempt to wipe the slate clean with Peggy. One of the reasons I bounced hard off of What If was because the Captain Carter episode felt like the execs were jangling keys in front of me like I was a baby.

"Forget about Agent Carter and the dark implications we accidently put into her story because we didn't think these retcons through, look at this shiny new character! "

I remember reading something or hearing a rumour that Winter Soldier was the lone Marvel-Disney film that didn't get Pentagon money. The Pentagon shells out a shit ton of money and aid to films as long as they tow the propaganda line and Winter Soldier was too critical of the US security state for their liking. Part of me thinks if that's true, then Disney got scared and dropped HYDRA very quickly. I mean, Baron Strucker was killed off unceremoniously in Age of Ultron and he's one of Cap's biggest villains. Whatever decisions were made, it results in the main timeline Peggy being all but erased. The implications are bad for Steve's main love interest. I don't even think it's about Peggy Carter herself, it's all about crafting Steve's perfect girlfriend.

Because of some poorly thought out retcons, her time as SHIELD director makes her come off as either a figure-head, incompetent, or corrupt. Giving her Alzheimer's at the end of her life all for the tragedy of Steve's situation stripped Peggy of her voice! Ever notice that we only hear of Peggy's time as SHIELD director second hand? We get one interview from (maybe) the late 50s where she's talking about Steve and moving on with her life, and a few scattered scenes in other movies. That's it. But almost everything set after Agent Carter season 2 is coming filtered through other people. Both in and out of universe, the main timeline MCU Peggy is a cypher. And I feel like various people at Marvel are more concerned about keeping her Steve's perfect girlfriend.

I doubt we'll ever see anything about SHIELD, HYDRA, or Peggy's time as director. Marvel, at least from my perspective, wants all of that forgotten because it's messy like all history is.

[strawwritesfic]

Tony Stark x Female!Reader: Angel

Summary: Eccentric he may be, but Tony really does have a handle on the whole fatherhood situation, it seems.

Rating/Tags: T (Father!Tony; Mother!Reader; inaccurate information about breastfeeding and alcohol; alcohol consumption; Post-Age of Ultron; Avengers Tower; not canon compliant; Pepper & Natasha & Reader; Pepper & Natasha & Tony; child-centric; domestic fluff; separation anxiety)

Challenge: “160 Collective Drabbles” challenge by BobaPop on Lunaescence Archives.

Tag List: @imaginefire​

Angel

Being a first-time mother wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. You hadn’t expected it to be. Children–especially babies–were a big responsibility, and it didn’t help that your husband was a little eccentric. Nine months ago, you had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Your life since then had been a whirlwind of sleepless nights, breastfeeding, and changing diapers. All the books told you you’d be busy, but none of them had suggested that you’d be so busy and worried that you would barely see anyone but your husband and daughter for nearly a year.

Apparently the strain was starting to show. When he had found you in hysterical tears while rocking Jasmine at three in the morning, Tony had had enough. You needed a day off, a day of beauty, a day of rest. Please, before he started crying, too. 

You weren’t so sure at first. Leave your daughter? With her father? And who even knew if you still had friends after all this time?

But Tony had put his foot down, and, in the end, you were glad he had. You were even gladder that Natasha and Pepper had been willing to drop everything and come out with you that night. Dinner without baby food being thrown in your face? Delightful. Adult discussion between three adult women? Divine. You almost hated for the evening to draw to a close, but it was dark outside, and you did hate to leave Tony alone to deal with Jasmine’s post-bedtime hunger pangs.

“Is Tony keeping you locked up in the tower over there? Do we need to stage a rescue attempt?” Natasha demanded when you voiced this sentiment.

You shot a discreet look to see if the driver of your limousine had heard this suggestion as the three of you slid in after dinner. Luckily, Happy did not look as though he cared at all what any of you had to say. 

“No,” you said, a little too quickly, then laughed.

“Good, ‘cause your hair is nowhere near close to being long enough for me to climb. I suppose I could get Clint to make me an entry point–”

“No rescue attempts,” interrupted Pepper. “That tower is still Stark Industries property, and I cannot tell you what a headache it is to get damage done by superheroes paid off by the insurance company.”

“You’re no fun, Pep. I don’t think you’ve had enough to drink,” Natasha said.

“And you’ve had too much. If you tried climbing up the tower tonight, I’d wind up with a suicide investigation on my hands on top of everything else.”

“Please. You act like alcohol affects me.”

“Oh, sure,” you broke in, “keep talking about wine in front of the breastfeeding lady. Not like it was bad enough watching you drink it over dinner.”

“Fine, fine.” Sitting back, Natasha peered out the window as the vehicle chugged slowly through the congested Manhattan streets. You must not have been very close your destination, because she soon turned her grin back to you. “I can’t believe you let us drink in front of you.”

“I can’t believe Tony lets you breastfeed,” Pepper said as she eyed your boobs.

You frowned and held a defensive hand in front of them. “Why wouldn’t he let me breastfeed?” you asked, and Natasha replied with an immediate amused snort.

“Well, he probably thinks of them as his, and we all know Tony doesn’t like to share,” said Pepper. “And it doesn’t exactly keep you…pert.”

“My breasts are plenty pert, thank you.” Though you shook your head, it wasn’t in earnest. It felt good to be back among your best friends, even with them teasing you so relentlessly. “Tony doesn’t care if I use them to feed our daughter so long as he gets to play with them later. He’s a good dad, you know?”

“Really?” 

You shot Pepper a look that she returned with a bashful smile. 

“Sorry,” she said. “It’s just…he’s Tony. He’s never been very responsible.”

“He’s responsible with Jasmine.”

“I’m gonna call B.S. on that one. If he’s so responsible, why’d it take you nine months to leave him alone with her?” Natasha asked.

“Thank you, Natasha,” Pepper said before you could answer.

“That has nothing to do with Tony,” you said flatly.

“Enlighten us,” said Natasha.”

“How?”

“What does he do?” Pepper asked. “Whenever I’ve come by to see her, Tony is nowhere around.”

“Because he’s busy,” you hedged.

“With what?” asked Natasha.

“I don’t know. Iron Man stuff.”

“Sounds about right,” Pepper muttered.

“He helps,” you said. “Just the other day he–”

“Ladies,” Happy interrupted as the door nearest to you popped open, “we’re here.”

“Thanks, Happy.” With no small amount of relief, you hopped out onto the pavement in front of Stark Tower. Your last name blazed in giant blue letters high above your head–the only lights on, save for a few inside one of the higher floors. “Goodnight!” you called, turning around. “Thank you for…”

Natasha and Pepper, both smirking, already stood outside the car.

“Will you be joining me?” you asked.

“Please,” said Natasha.

“I’d like to see evidence of this so-called responsible Tony you speak of,” Pepper added.

A pause, then you smiled widely. “Be my guests.”

With that, your troop (minus Happy, who left to find a place to park the limo) headed inside. The lobby’s overhead lights flashed on as you marched toward the lift, but not a soul stirred. No one remained on staff this late on weekends now that most of the Avengers had moved to the New Jersey facility. Normally the echoing emptiness didn’t bother you, but then normally you were inside your floor with your family. Out here without them, said emptiness was entirely too good at reminding you of your multitude of worries.

You hadn’t lied when you told Natasha and Pepper that Tony was responsible with Jasmine. It was also true that he was not the reason behind your self-imposed exile. Still, you couldn’t help remembering the last and only time before this that you had left your husband and daughter alone in the tower together.

Jasmine hadn’t been in any danger, of course. It was just that, in only the space of time it took for you to pick up groceries, he had somehow managed to get your daughter in the lower half of a tiny, infant-sized suit of Iron Man armor. He swore up and down that he had no plans to test out the suit’s flight capability, but the fact remained that he had built your baby a suit with flight capability to begin with. After that, your worry over what other things his paranoia might cause him to try didn’t seem so far-fetched.

Not that you were about to mention any of this to your friends. They didn’t need to know that you suffered from your own personal brand of paranoia as well. Besides, you and Tony had hashed all the rules out before you had left for the day. Nothing could have gone wrong, nothing at all.

“What is that?” Pepper asked suddenly, frowning at the lift’s roof. When you followed her gaze, you noticed that the ceiling was shaking slightly–a bad sign, but you did not realize just how bad until you felt bass start to rumble through the entire elevator.

“Sounds like somebody’s being real responsible,” Natasha observed. 

Heart in your throat, you glared at her, then rushed off the lift as soon as the doors rolled open. A wave of loud music hit you like a truck, forcing your eyes to screw shut.

“TONY!” you bellowed. Your voice didn’t even carry to your own ears. You let out a groan and stomped your way up the hall, completely forgetting about your companions in the process.

The rock music grew in volume the nearer you got to the kitchen, so you had to be going in the right direction. What did Tony think he was doing? No way could Jasmine sleep through this racket. And how could he hear her if she started crying? And here you had just been bragging to your friends and his business associates that he was a responsible parent! Responsible parents didn’t have loud parties when they were supposed to watching their children!

“Tony!” you screamed again, bursting through the silver doors into the room all the commotion was coming from. 

Again, you couldn’t even hear yourself, but that didn’t matter when you fell quiet almost instantly at the sight of your kitchen covered ceiling to floor in some sort of greenish goop. You covered your mouth with a gasp, and though that was quieter than your shrieking, it was enough movement, apparently, to catch the eye of the man wiping at the mess. He looked around, spotted you, and all of a sudden the music died away.

“Hey, honey. You’re home early.” Tony approached you, dirty rag in hand, to press a kiss to your cheek.

Instinctively, you shoved him away to scowl into his face. “What did you do to my house?” you said.

He came to a full stop, confusion washing cross his features. Your pointed look at the goop dripping slowly toward the tile seemed to clear that up for him. “Me?” he said incredulously. “That wasn’t me.”

“Who else was supposed to have done it? We agreed no parties!”

“Funnily enough, I do have the ability to recall something we discussed less than half a day ago. There was no party.”

And now Tony was lying to you! “What is all this, then? Where’s Jasmine? Tony, I trusted you to–”

“[Name],” came Pepper’s voice behind you. 

Startled, you turned to see her and Natasha standing there, with Natasha pointing wordlessly to the other side of the room. You whirled about and found Jasmine’s high chair sitting at the end of the kitchen island. Jasmine sat inside it, skin and dark hair covered in the same mashed-something all over your wall. She didn’t seem to notice you were there at all as she picked at the remains of the food on her tray.

Husband all but forgotten, you let out a quiet moan and raced over to your daughter to press your face into the top of her soft head. Your heart had not quite yet stopped racing when you heard Tony ask, “What are you two doing here?” from somewhere across the room.

“We wanted to see you being responsible,” Pepper answered.

“Looks like you did a good job, too,” said Natasha.

“FRIDAY!” Tony called.

“Yes, Boss?”

“We talked about this, didn’t we? We talked about you letting people walk into the house without giving me warning.”

“Miss Romanoff and Miss Potts came inside with Mrs. Stark. Does that still require notification?”

“A little notification might have been nice. Damn, I miss JARVIS.”

You didn’t bother getting involved with the inner workings of Tony’s AI’s programming. It seemed a far more important task to caress your daughter with open hands, checking each and every inch of her beautiful skin for any signs of damage–or perhaps faint indentations left by seams of armor. There were none. Jasmine was every bit as perfect as she had been when you’d left only a few hours ago. 

“She’s fine,” you said weakly. “Just fine.”

To your surprise, Tony had followed you there. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of Jasmine's head himself before rolling his eyes at you. “Sure, I’m the one that threw baby food at the wall. Not your perfect, precious angel.”

“I’d believe it,” said Pepper.

“Nobody asked you.”

With an eye roll of your own, you finally kissed Tony back. Jasmine really was fine, save for being nearly as dirty as your kitchen. A bath would fix that, though, something that couldn’t fix her making a hole in the ceiling if Tony had really decided to teach her to fly. 

“How did you get her to calm down?” you asked.

“Put on some better music,” he answered. “I tried that classical crap you suggested, and Jazz freaked out. Wouldn’t quit screaming until I changed the channel. She’s got good taste, I’ll give her that. Must have got that from her father,” he added with a smirk.

Shaking your head, you pivoted back to your friends. “See? Responsible. He’s great. Now, I’m sorry to kick you out, but we’ve really got to get started cleaning up before this stuff dries.”

You got set to walk Natasha and Pepper as far as the elevator door. There was a lot of scrubbing to do, both of the house and of your child. Before your trio could get very far, however, Tony stepped in the way. 

“Hey. You don’t have to leave just yet.,” he said.

"They…don’t?” you asked blankly, and then Tony was herding all of you back toward the other entrance.

“Of course not. [Name], you were gone for about two hours. While I understand why you don’t think I’m capable of giving you a quiet night out, it still wounds me. Jazz and I have got the situation handled. It’s only eight o’ clock. How about you grown-up girls go into the parlor for a nightcap and some chitchat?”

He ended by pressing his forehead against yours and staring very deeply into your eyes. It was always very difficult to resist Tony when he did that, but you still had to try. “But–”

“That’s an order.” After pressing a finger to your lips to prevent further arguing, Tony stepped away and gestured for the door. 

Natasha and Pepper looked at each other, looked at Tony, then looked at you.

“Sounds good to me,” Pepper said, shrugging.

“I don’t have anywhere else to be,” said Natasha.

They clearly needed no further urging. Without anything else being said, the two of them sauntered around the corner and disappeared. You, however, remained hovering in the doorway. So maybe you were suffering from a bit of separation anxiety, and maybe you just wanted to kick your friends out so you could get back to having your daughter all to yourself. Was that really so wrong?

“[Name], what’s the matter now?” Tony asked.

“I just–you don’t have to clean the mess up all by yourself,” you answered nervously, as though Tony would catch you in this obvious lie. 

He must have, because he let out one of his most dramatic sighs, the kind he usually reserved for when Pepper started heckling him about business, before placing both his (baby food-coated) hands on your bare shoulders.

“Let me be responsible for the kid for once. Think of it as me…asking for a favor. That’s it. I’m asking for a favor. Now go.”

With that, your eccentric husband shoved you out the door. A moment later, and his music started up again–a little quieter than before, though not by much. You had been unceremoniously banished. When you looked over at the bar, you spotted Natasha and Pepper already making themselves at home.

“Got you a Sprite ready,” Natasha called, pointing to a glass sitting on the counter after she caught your eye.

You heaved a sigh of your own. “Gee. Thanks,” you said as you walked over and picked up the cup. Both women clinked their own against yours, and you all took the first swig at the same time. Once you had downed yours, you made a face. “Worst night cap ever.”

They laughed. You even managed a smile in return. After all, Jasmine wouldn’t be a baby forever, and eventually you could go back to drinking real stuff. Until then, maybe it wasn’t so bad to give her some daddy-daughter time every once in a while. Judging by the singing, screaming, and pot-banging coming from the kitchen, those two were having the time of their lives together. And what did you know? Time away with Pepper and Natasha wasn’t so bad for you either.

[sunnydalestudies]

Wrestling with Whedon

Welcome, Scooby Gang!

When we discuss Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it’s impossible to ignore its creator, Joss Whedon. Once considered a nerd god, his fall from grace has stunned fans, leaving them just as heartbroken as those of the Harry Potter franchise. But let’s start from the beginning: who is Joss Whedon? Many consider Whedon the auteur of BtVS, a term used to denote “a film director who influences their films so much that they rank as their author” (OED); think here of Alfred Hitchcock. Although all of Whedon’s projects, including BtVS, were brought to life by an army of creatives, Whedon is still credited as the creator and sometimes writer and director, rendering his name and contributions inseparable from these projects. 

Joss Whedon might be one of the worst nepotism babies of television writing, with his grandfather being a writer on shows such as The Andy Griffith Show and The Golden Girls being among his father’s projects. Growing up in New York City, Whedon lived a life of luxury, attending Winchester College, a British boarding school, and graduating from Wesleyan University in Connecticut. Although this all sounds like a peaceful and privileged life, Whedon has also come out to say that his parents “ran the home as though they were in the thick of” “a writers’-room battle” and that if he or his brothers “weren’t funny or entertaining or agreeing with them, they would cut [them] down or turn to stone” (Vulture). Because of his childhood experiences, Whedon says that “he suffers from complex post-traumatic-stress disorder” (Vulture); yet, despite not wanting to discredit his trauma, I don’t believe that this excuses him for how he went on to treat others in his life. 

In the 1990s and 2000s, Whedon’s career steadily grew and his cult following of fans with it. With projects such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992, 1997-2003), Angel (1999-2004), Toy Story (1995), Alien Resurrection (1997), Firefly (2002), Serenity (2005), Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog (2008), and Dollhouse (2009-10), Joss Whedon became a god and a king among nerds and the comic-book artist Scott R. Kurtz even designed a highly successful shirt in 2005 that read “Joss Whedon is my Master Now.” Even within the workplace, “a sort of cult of personality formed around Whedon” where “the standard reaction to Joss was worship” (Vulture). During this time, many of Whedon’s projects did not succeed to the extent that many believed they should have, beginning with the “painful” interpretation of his vision for the original BtVS movie, as Kai Cole, his ex-wife, put it (The Wrap), and continuing through to the mishandling and cancellation of Firefly. As a Vice article puts it: 

“The culture of liking Joss Whedon was at this point already about defending him from various enemies—networks who canceled his shows, actors who he claimed said his lines incorrectly, or improvised too much. [...] His success was a symbol of success for liberal nerds everywhere, a sign that comic books and genre fiction could be taken seriously by the world at large. If you were wrapped up in that fandom, any criticism of Whedon became an attack on everything that nerds love, and it’s a dynamic that doesn’t exist only in the past tense.” (Vice)

This passionate and often obsessive fanbase aided Whedon’s breakthrough into mainstream culture in the early 2010s, when, within a single year, Whedon released three very different yet successful projects: The Cabin in the Woods (2012), a horror movie satire, Much Ado About Nothing (2012) a black and white DIY production of a Shakespeare classic, and The Avengers (2012), the renowned Marvel superheroes film. This year marked the height of Whedon’s career, with his following projects slowly marking his downfall. 

In 2015, with the release of The Avengers: Age of Ultron, Whedon encountered his first backlash and the first indications of flaws in his feminism. Viewers labelled the film as sexist because of a scene where Black Widow claims to be monstrous since she cannot bear children. Two years later, in 2017, Whedon’s scrapped 2006 Wonder Woman script leaked, and those who read it once again saw his portrayal of female superheroes as sexist, this time regarding his script as a nerd’s wet dream. Later that same year, Kai Cole, Whedon’s ex-wife, released a public statement about her relationship with Whedon and revealed his numerous affairs and over a decade of lying. In this article, Cole explains that they met in 1991 and were married for over twenty years before separating. In this time, spanning the most successful years of Whedon’s career, Kai Cole says: “I loved him. And in return, he lied to me. A lot” (The Wrap). Cole believes that “he used his relationship with [her] as a shield [...] so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist” (The Wrap). Whedon even did the opposite and used his feminist reputation as a defence in his marriage when Cole was at times “uncomfortable with the attention Joss paid other women” (The Wrap). She elaborates that “he always had a lot of female friends, but he told me it was because his mother raised him as a feminist, so he just liked women better. He said he admired and respected females, he didn’t lust after them. I believed him and trusted him” (The Wrap). Sadly, Whedon’s later projects—and even earlier projects, although viewers did not notice it—revealed that he did not solely admire and respect strong female characters but sexualized them for his own satisfaction. 

Whedon’s reputation as a feminist was so strong that he had even previously received awards for his feminist efforts, notably when “Equality Now gave him an award in 2006—presented by Meryl Streep—for his efforts as a male feminist” (Vice). Cole wanted to correct this vision of Whedon, who, as she says, “never conceded the hypocrisy of being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away [her] right to make choices for [her] life and [her] body based on the truth” (The Wrap). In the end, Cole only desired to warn against the previously normalized worship of her ex-husband and explained, “I want to let women know that he is not who he pretends to be. I want the people who worship him to know he is human, and the organizations giving him awards for his feminist work, to think twice in the future about honouring a man who does not practice what he preaches” (The Wrap). Cole’s statement was the fandom’s wake-up call, but many continued worshiping Whedon, simply acknowledging that he was human and made mistakes. At this point, all we knew was that he cheated on his wife—it was sad, but it was not anything out of the ordinary for celebrities and the average person alike. 

Over the years, more women have come forward to share their experiences with romantic or sexual relationships with Joss Whedon. In Cole’s article, she says that Whedon had his first affair on the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and years later, after coming clean about this, he told her, “I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can’t touch it” (The Wrap). Whedon has used this feeling of helplessness as an excuse for his mistreatment of the women of BtVS numerous times, explaining elsewhere that “he had felt he ‘had’ to sleep with them, that he was ‘powerless’ to resist” (Vulture). If this reminds you of rapists blaming their actions on their victims’ clothing, professions, or behaviours, saying they couldn’t control themselves, you’re not the only one. Even as a younger man at university, “he admired strong women like his mother, yet he’d discovered he was capable of hurting them, ‘usually by sleeping with them and ghosting or whatever’” (Vulture). In the accounts from women who dated Whedon after his marriage ended, “he was not the hero they had read about in the press, the one who wanted to see women in control; he was more like the cold-blooded men he depicted in his work” (Vulture), and the Whedon at Wesleyan sounds a lot like Parker Abrams from early season four, or even Angel right after he lost his soul. Since his marriage ended, Whedon has sought treatment for a love and sex addiction, a path also taken by celebrities such as “James Franco, Kevin Spacey, and Harvey Weinstein” (Vulture). If Vulture’s article was more recent, I am sure Kanye West would also be on that list. Additionally, celebrities such as Russell Brand, David Duchovny, Tiger Woods, and Rob Lowe have also sought treatment for the same addiction, with many of these celebrities only doing so in response to a cheating scandal. Whether Whedon has healed and grown in this regard is unbeknownst to us, but many before him paved this path to redemption in the media’s eyes. 

The same year as Cole’s statement, Justice League (2017) came to theatres, which Whedon later labelled as “one of the biggest regrets of his life” and would contribute considerably to his downfall (Vulture). The original director of the film was Zach Snyder, who had his own group of devoted and worshiping fans, but he had to drop the project to be with his family after his daughter committed suicide, so Whedon took over the post-production duties. Whedon did more than oversee the final touches, though, and instead made drastic changes to the film. After viewers were disappointed by Whedon’s version, they demanded to see Snyder’s, which the studio released in 2021; yet, before its release in 2020, the cast began speaking out about their experiences with Whedon. What precipitated the avalanche of testimonies regarding Whedon’s workplace behaviour was a July 2020 tweet by Ray Fisher saying that “Joss Whedon’s on-set treatment of the cast and crew of Justice League was gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable.” Following Fisher’s statement, allegations of racist treatment of the actor and character surfaced, and other actors came forward with their experiences. Suddenly, the fans who worshiped Snyder were attacking Whedon online, and those who previously worshipped Whedon weren’t sure what to do. Allegations of Whedon abusing his power continued to emerge over the next few months, but what put the nail in the coffin holding Whedon’s reputation happened in 2021 when Charisma Carpenter went to Twitter to rehash her experiences with Whedon on the set of Angel. This was not the first time she had discussed his “casually cruel” behaviour or her wrongful dismissal; in fact, “the actress has been talking about it with fans and reporters for more than a decade” (Vulture), but it was nonetheless the final straw. By the time the first half-season of The Nevers (2021) premiered on HBO, promising Whedon’s return to television, Joss Whedon had already stepped down as the showrunner, and the marketing did not acknowledge his involvement. In the year and a half since its airing, HBO has cancelled the show and removed the already aired episodes from their library—HBO, at the very least, is treating Whedon to the full cancellation treatment, and we will see who follows suit. 

But what does this all mean to the fandom and scholars? In truth, no one is sure, but they have been asking just that for the past two years. Since so many people around the world love BtVS so much and yet are so deeply disappointed in what has come to light about Whedon, many people have decided to divorce the art from the artist, completely ignoring Whedon’s role in its production, or they have erased BtVS from their lives. These are both flawed responses. The first response, where people have separated the art from the artist, neglects the richness of potential scholarship or understanding that becomes available by analyzing BtVS alongside what we now know about Whedon. As one article explains, “the belief that [Buffy’s] story was something other than a projection of his psyche is ultimately just another fantasy. Whedon did understand pain — his own. Some of that pain, as he once put it to me, ‘spilled over’ into the people around him. And some of it was channeled into his art” (Vulture). There is new and rich nuance to BtVS that fans and scholars alike should not ignore. The second response ignores the contributions of everyone else who worked on the show; it feels inappropriate to disregard the effort of these writers, producers, directors, makeup artists, costume designers, set designers, actors, and the list goes on, especially if they continued to contribute to a project they saw the merits in despite the work environment being less than ideal or even toxic and abusive. If they endured Whedon’s cruelty during BtVS’ production, then we should acknowledge and be thankful for their work rather than dismiss it because of their boss’ wrongdoings. 

After all, BtVS now belongs to the fans and scholars who have made it what it is, and although people throw this sentiment around, it is grounded in literary theory, that being Roland Barthes’ ‘Death of the Author’ essay from 1967. In this essay, Barthes puts forth that we, as fans and scholars, should not study a work in tandem with its author and that an author does not exist in the way we think of it. It’s a complicated essay, so let’s pick out some pieces that help us understand BtVS and Whedon. Barthes makes two foundational statements about authorship: “writing is the destruction of every voice, every origin. […] this gap appears, the voice loses its origin, the author enters into his own death, writing begins,” and “the text is a fabric of quotations, resulting from a thousand sources of culture. […] the writer can only imitate an ever anterior, never original gesture.” According to Barthes, the author does not create anything new but instead translates, borrows, and recontextualizes what already exists; further, he is not doing so with his own voice, but he is merely the medium through which these previous sources move—the author dies as the work is born. Relating this to BtVS, we must remind ourselves of what the writers claimed to be their inspirations, but also what we see within the series since the show as a whole may appear new despite everything within it has previously existed and carries meaning with it. All those pop culture references that the show makes seem inconsequential but may be much more significant than we previously understood since the significance behind these references impacts the meaning of BtVS. 

BtVS’ authorship is further complicated when we consider Barthes’ assertions that “to assign an Author to a text is to impose a brake on it, to furnish it with a final signified, to close writing. […] once the Author is found, the text is ‘explained.’” Although I just explained how I believe that we should acknowledge Whedon’s influence on BtVS, I want to emphasize that we will never truly understand the collective authorship of BtVS since so many talented writers were in the writing room, many individuals worked on the project, and even the viewers were able to impact the show’s development. Finally, Barthes makes the point that art belongs to the fans, saying that “the unity of a text is not in its origin but in its destination,” and I understand this to mean that the meaning of art is not decided by the author or writer but by the reader or watcher, and gives them what they need from it. Each BtVS viewer came to the show from a different place, and yet so many people found something special in it which spoke to them, and the writers may claim to have meant these things or not, but the meaning, or “unity of a text,” is not dictated by the writers, but by the fans, the “destination.” 

Joss Whedon may have written the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer script thirty years ago, and the show may have concluded twenty years ago, but BtVS never truly belonged to Whedon. BtVS has always belonged to the viewers, fans, and scholars, so although Whedon’s actions have added complications to the series and how people now enjoy it, they should not stop anyone’s enjoyment of it. 

That’s that for this Sunnydale study session!

Liz

TL;DR: Whedon sucks and I recommend you read these articles: 

https://www.vulture.com/article/joss-whedon-allegations.html

https://www.thewrap.com/joss-whedon-feminist-hypocrite-infidelity-affairs-ex-wife-kai-cole-says/

https://www.vice.com/en/article/v7d34y/when-joss-whedon-was-our-master