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xandertheundead · 11 months ago

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OMG propmt time! Uuuuuuuuh…. Well I uh…I KNOW where panchito abandons Jose in the middle of the night, but then months later he comes back but finds Jose in a new house about to get engaged to this other guy, and panchito is like, “ oh pleaseee forgive me! Be with me !” But Jose wan nona dat so it’s like going back and forward with panchito trying to screw up the relationship but Jose actually want to be happy for once in his life and actually loves the guy he is engaged to so idk how to end it tbh.

This is so long 😭😭😭 I’m sorry

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry this took so long. I really went crazy with it so it's pretty long! I tried to keep it as close to what you wanted as I could! I hope you enjoy it and thank you for sending me the prompt!

Having a gay crisis about one of your best friends was one thing.

Having a gay crisis after you spend a long passion-filled night with one of your best friends was something entirely different.

Running from problems was not something Panchito usually did, preferring to face them head-on so he could solve them and get on with his life. Running was something cowards did, especially when it was not only you but also involved a dear one’s thoughts and feelings as well, and this time Panchito could call himself nothing other than that.

The panic had set in as soon as José’s eyes had closed, his breathing even and soft as the cold sickening feeling of dread started to fill Panchito’s stomach. He only waited until he was sure that José was truly asleep before moving quickly, grabbing his clothes and shoving them into his bag as quietly as he could before bolting out into the dark night.

Traveling back to Mexico with memories of that night had been torture. Remembering the way José’s face had grown red as he whispered things in Portuguese that Panchito hadn’t fully understood but caught enough of the meaning. How their kisses had felt electric, the feeling of his body pressed against Panchito’s, and how tightly he had held Panchito’s hand as they both finished with groans.

It was strange how badly it hurt when he only received one text from José asking if he was okay and then received nothing else even when Panchito tried to text or call.

He didn’t blame José.

If anyone had treated any of his sisters, or brothers to be fair, like that he would have hogtied them and dragged them through the town behind Señor Martinez for everyone to shame them for doing such a thing. He had thought about doing it to himself, but Señor Martinez would have never done anything to hurt him so Panchito had settled for going to his hometown Parish and asking if he could stay there for the time being. He did not dare try to go to his parent's home with his head filled with such confusion and turmoil, they would never leave him be.

Though alone, Panchito’s thoughts were only filled with José.

How he smelled. Castile soap, Malbec cologne, and the faint hint of cigar smoke since José had started smoking outside because it bothered both Donald and Panchito.

The way the feathers around his neck and cheeks would fluff up when he started to lose his temper.

How well he could hold his liquor until suddenly he couldn’t and he became the most clingy thing anyone had ever come across.

His favorite foods. His favorite music. His favorite places.

Panchito even missed how deceiving José could be.

Father Quintero had been very kind, letting Panchito stay with him and help around the parish wherever it was needed. The man did not ask Panchito what was bothering him or why he was back, only told him that he was there to listen if Panchito needed to talk. It wasn’t until he had been there for a month that Panchito finally broke down and confessed everything that he had been thinking, feeling, and had done to the priest after Father Quintero asked why Panchito never seemed to play his guitar or sing anymore.

The reason was because it made him ache for the bird he had left behind.

Father Quintero had listened calmly, handing him tissues when Panchito had been unable to hold back tears and a soft hand on his back when he would get choked on words he had been too afraid to say before.

“I love him.” It was whimpered, words raw and cracking as they came out of his mouth. “I love him more than a friend and not like a brother.”

It had taken weeks of talking, Panchito questioning Father Quintero on every single possible thing that he could think of now that he could admit his heart truly belonged to another man. He had been surprised when the priest never seemed to judge him or tell him that his feelings were vile and sinful. Only would take his hand and make sure Panchito was looking him in the eyes before he said, “You are a good soul, Francsico. It is my opinion that it is your actions that God looks at when our time comes and not those we love. I do not believe love can be a sin because it is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit.”

It was another two weeks of thinking before he packed up his guitar, thanked Father Quintero for all of his help and set off with determination in his heart.

He would go back to José, not to beg for another chance, but to apologize fully and wholeheartedly for what he had done to someone so dear.

Talking to Donald before traveling to Brazil had been one of the scariest and most hurtful moments in Panchito’s life. Donald was angry. Livid. Things were thrown at him, and truly nasty, ugly words yelled at him right on Donald’s front door.

He had told Panchito to go away, that he wanted nothing to do with someone who would treat a friend the way Panchito had, and slammed the door in his face. Panchito had gone back to his hotel room, surprised when at three in the morning a text from Donald woke him up.

Donald: You are an absolute bastard who doesn’t deserve any kind of kindness after what you did…

Donald: But you are still my friend and I love you…

Donald: Bring lunch over tomorrow. Nothing cheap. I’m pissed as hell and I will be even more angry if you bring fast food.

The lunch had lasted well into the night, from glasses filled with soda to being refilled with whiskey. The first few hours Panchito got another verbal lashing, and he sat and took it because it was what he deserved, but after that real conversations started.

“Did you know he’s engaged?”

Panchito’s shock must have shown on his face because Donald gave him a look with a raised eyebrow and Panchito had to clamp down on the feeling of hurt. It had only been two and a half months since he had held José in his arms and the other had whispered words of affection into his ear, had he been that easy to move on from? Anger sparked for just a moment before Panchito told himself he wasn’t allowed to feel that way.

He had left first.

“No,” Panchito whispered, putting his head in his hands, feeling more defeated and sad than he had his entire life. “I didn’t. Rosinha?”

Donald snorted and Panchito knew it was a dumb question to ask.

He loved José, but the parrot truly made a lot of bad decisions, especially when it came to the women in his life and how he treated them. Rosinha had been one of the most frequent victims of José’s fickle and flighty interests, putting up with so much that both Donald and Panchito were relieved when she finally had enough. She and José had stayed friends which was a miracle and some ugly part of Panchito hoped that because he hadn’t done anything as bad as José had to Rosinha maybe they could at least stay as friends.

A thought that had come up numerous times while he had been away floated up and he looked up at Donald. “Do…do you think I was just a fling?”

Donald sent him a glare. “Would that make you feel better? That running away wasn’t so bad as long as it didn’t mean anything to him?”

Panchito hunched his shoulders, feeling ashamed because it was true, but at the same time the idea of José seeing him as nothing but a friend to have a fun night with made him feel sick.

Donald sighed after a moment and shook his head. “No, Panchito. José can be awful, but you are his friend first and foremost. He wouldn’t have risked that for sex unless he felt that way towards you.”

By the time one in the morning came, Panchito found himself on Donald’s couch a bit drunk with Donald’s arms wrapped around him in an embrace that made Panchito’s already red-rimmed eyes water again. Donald let him stay at his house while Panchito sorted everything out and for the first time in two and a half months, Panchito picked up his guitar and started to work on a new song.

Finding José had not been hard, his new fiancée was an actress from a wealthy and respectable family in Brazil and they frequently went to and threw several events. While finding José had not been hard, getting into the soonest party he would be at was. He’d had to use his charm and disguise techniques he’d learned as a Caballero just to get in the band that was playing for the event.

He hadn’t even taken off his fake beard when he heard José speak.

“Ah. Hello, meu amigo.” José’s voice carried a friendly tone, but it sounded flat and off to Panchito’s ears. “To what do I owe the pleasure of you sneaking into my fiancée’s gala?”

Panchito felt a lump in his throat as he slowly stood and turned, terrified now that he was face to face with José. He had been thinking about this moment for so long and now that he was here nerves threatened to take over but moved past it and took a deep breath. “I came to apologize.”

There was no look of shock or anger, just a mild look of curiosity and an easy smile that did not reach the parrot's eyes. “Oh? For what, Paco?”

Panchito frowned, frustrated at the nonchalant act, before he took a step forward toward the Parrot, instinctively reaching out. He froze when José gave the smallest of flinches at the movement and Panchito immediately dropped his arms and pulled back. He let out a soft sad sigh before shaking his head and looking back up at the man who owned his heart.

“For that night. I had-“ Panchito stopped when José clicked his tongue and waved his hand in Panchito’s direction in a dismissive way.

“Oh, dear Panchito,” Jose shook his head. “You do not have to apologize. It was a moment of crazy passion, nothing else.”

Panchito’s heart hammered in his chest, courage rapidly fading as those light brown eyes stared at him as if Panchito was just another random person in the room.

“But I do,” Panchito replied, pushing past any of his feelings of fear and hurt. “I did something someone should never do to a friend. Especially to a friend that they love. Love more than anything.”

The sudden look of fear in José’s eyes made Panchito’s heart clench and he took a step back when José took a threatening step towards him. Green feathers around his neck and cheeks ruffled in anger even as his expression smoothed out into a distorted look of forced friendliness that honestly scared Panchito.

José laid a hand on his shoulder, grip tight enough to cause Panchito to wince and sway when José gave him a ‘playful’ shake.

“I said,” Jose replied. “There is nothing to apologize for, meu amigo. So let us leave it at that.”

Panchito was not given a choice, José letting go of his shoulder and walking away without even a single look back. Crying right now in front of a large group of people was not ideal and Panchito took a deep steadying breath to compose himself as José’s figure disappeared amongst the crowd.

Give up.

He clearly does not want to think about that night.

Or about you for that matter.

Give up. Go home. You failed.

He should give up. He should go home. But he wouldn’t. He was done being a coward.

Panchito went back to the band, asking them for one very large favor before he set up to play their setlist. Pure stubbornness allowed him to play through their music with no issue, his anxiety quieted as his fingers strummed the strings of his guitar. It was only when they had finished their sixth song and the leader of the band announced they had something new for the audience that Panchito felt the unsettling creep of fear.

Panchito attached the strap to his guitar with shaking fingers, slipping it over his neck as he stood and moved over toward the microphone. He swallowed thickly and nodded when the other singer clapped him on the back and muttered words of good luck before leaving him alone at the front of the stage. Panchito made sure the microphone was in the right place to pick up both his voice and guitar before taking in a settling breath and pulling up the courage he used to know so well.

He laid his calloused fingers against the frets, his other hand moving to very gently brush against the strings and he looked out into the crowd to see if he could find José. There was no sign of the parrot and Panchito refused to let the hurt and fear take over that José wouldn’t even hear what he had made.

As a last-minute thought, he decided to switch the words he had written for the man from English to Spanish. José knew English fluently but Spanish was a little harder, especially since Portuguese was so close to it that there were often misunderstandings. That way, José would hear his song but could decide for himself if he wanted to hear Panchito’s apology. It was all José’s choice and Panchito let everything go as he poured all that he felt into the first gentle cords of the song.

Hola mi amigo, mi querido, mi amor. (Hello My friend, My dear, My love.)

¿Me estás escuchando? (Are you listening?) Hay tantas cosas que quiero decir. (There are so many things I want to say.) Tantas palabras que me han llevado a llenar la página. (So many words that have filled the page.)

¿Puedes hablar? (Can you speak?) Necesito tu voz como en las canciones que solíamos cantar. (I need your voice like in our songs we used to sing.) Una hermosa armonía entrelazada como un sencillo anillo de oro. (A beautiful harmony like a simple gold ring.)

Hay muchas cosas que desearía no haber hecho. (There’s many things I wish I didn’t do.) Como no quedarme hasta que saliera el sol contigo. (Not staying till the sun rose with you.) O huir porque tenía miedo de lo que significaba. (Running because I was scared of what it meant.) No pensar en lo que eso significaría para ti. (Not thinking what it would do to you.)

Hola mi amigo, mi querido, mi amor. (Hello My friend, My dear, My love.) Lo siento por haberte herido. (I’m sorry that I hurt you.) Hola mi amigo, mi querido, mi amor. (Hello My Friend, My dear, My Love.) Lo siento por haberte dejado. (I’m sorry that I left you.)

No sé si este llamado te llegará. (I don’t know if this call will reach you.) Sé que esto no es ni remotamente suficiente. (I know it’s not nearly enough) Mi amor es cristalino, claro como mi mente. (My love is crystal, clear just like my head.) Me tomó tiempo y ahora, lamentablemente, es tarde. (It took time and now it is unfortunately late.)

Si no es así, mi corazón y mi alma te daré. (If it is not, my heart and soul to you I’ll give) Estaré contigo y cuidaré de ti mientras viva. (Be with you and take care of you as long as I live) Si es así, por favor, no te preocupes, no te molestaré. (If it is, please do not worry, I will not bother you.) En mis sueños te abrazaré fuerte y rápido. (In dreams I’ll hold you close and hold you fast.)

Hola mi amigo, mi querido, mi amor. (Hello My friend, My dear, My love.) Lo siento por haberte herido. (I’m sorry that I hurt you.) Hola mi amigo, mi querido, mi amor. (Hello My friend, My dear, My love.) Lo siento por haberte dejado. (I’m sorry that I left you.)

Te deseo solo cosas buenas. (I wish you only good things.) Una vida plena y libre. (A life full and free.)

Buenas noches mi amigo, mi querido, mi amor. (Goodnight My friend, My dear, My love.) Lo siento por haberte herido. (I’m sorry that I hurt you.) Adiós mi amigo, mi querido, mi amor. (Goodbye My Friend, My dear, My Love.) Lo siento por haberte dejado. (I’m sorry that I left you.)

The applause startled Panchito, so lost in pouring his heart out that he had forgotten where he was for a moment. He once again tried to look through the crowd, but when there was no sign of José Panchito could only bow and step back as the band continued with their songs.

He heard nothing from José for the rest of the time he spent in Brazil.

Nothing from José as he flew back to his home where he sat his parents down to tell them of his love for another man.

Nothing as he stayed home for a few months to help around the house as well as going to visit Father Quintero, doing a few odd jobs for the priest when he needed help.

Nothing as he planned his yearly trip north to visit Donald and the family, making sure that he would not be coming around the time José did. It used to be something José and he did together, but Panchito knew that wasn’t something he could have anymore.

“Did you know your song is crazy popular in Brazil?” Donald questioned as they sat at his dinner table one morning, Panchito sipping his second cup of coffee because he had already been up with the sun while Donald stirred his first with a sleepy stare.

Panchito nodded. “Si, I know. Someone called a while back to see if I would be willing to record it.”

Donald glanced up from his coffee to look at him. “Are you going to?”

“No,” Panchito said with a small smile, time had given him a quiet sense of melancholy peace. “The song is not for everyone. It is only for him.”

Donald didn’t say any more about it and they moved on with his visit.

It was on the day that he was leaving Duckburg, bags packed and a plane ticket bought for Italy, that Panchito finally heard something.

The soft knock on his motel room door made him frown as he shoved his toothbrush and toothpaste into a plastic bag. He had said his goodbyes to Donald and the family yesterday after they had all gone ice skating so he could not figure out who would be at his door. Maybe housekeeping? But he had put the little sign on the door to refuse that, hadn’t he?

“Sorry!” He called. “I don’t need that today, but thank you!”

It was quiet on the other side and Panchito was about to go back to packing when he heard a familiar sigh through the door. His heart leaped into his throat when he heard the soft smooth voice he loved so dearly speak. “Do not leave me out here, Paco. People will start to suspect I am up to no good.”

Panchito had never moved as fast as he did to fling open that door, breath leaving him at the sight of José being there, right on the doorstep of his motel. José smiled, but it was unsure and his expression was guarded as he looked up at Panchito before looking past him into the room.

“May I come in?” José asked easily and Panchito wondered how the other bird could lock away any emotions so easily. “I would rather talk in privacy and not in earshot of the man who is filling a large trash bin with complimentary ice for a reason I don’t want to think about.”

“Ay!” Panchito cried, quickly moving to the side so that José could come inside. “Of course, of course! Can I get you something to drink? I have…water from the faucet.”

José shook his head, watching as Panchito shut the door before moving to stand next to the plain desk in the room. “Não. Thank you but I will not be staying long.”

“Oh.” Panchito hated how sad and disappointed his voice sounded, trying not to let his feelings get the better of him. José had finally reached out and he would let himself ruin it by doing something foolish. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Donald said you wouldn’t be recording your song.”

“Ah.” Panchito suddenly felt tired. “No.”

José stared down at the desk as if it had something interesting on it. “Why not? So many people would buy it. It truly is a hit in South America, especially in Brazil.”

“You know why.”

That answer seemed to irritate José, a frown suddenly on his face and an annoyed huff slipping out as he turned to look at Panchito fully. “Then why play it in front of such a large crowd?”

Panchito gave a weak shrug. “It was the only way I knew that you might listen.”

José snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, eyes moving to look down at the floor. “Do you know how frustrating it is? To hear that song everywhere? A song that I didn’t want to hear? You could not leave it alone could you?”

Panchito shrank back a bit when José looked up at him with such anger that Panchito wondered if this was it. This was when José would finally tell him that he wanted nothing more to do with him. “I’m sorry, Zé.”

“Oh. I am well aware, Panchito.” José growled. “You keep saying sorry, telling the world you are sorry and your feelings for me. Yet you keep running.”

“Que?!” Panchito cried, suddenly so confused. “How? How did I run again?”

“You came back into my life and sang one of the most beautiful songs about how much you loved me and then just left again!” José yelled, green feathers fluffing up in a way that even though Panchito knew it meant he was angry the sight made his heart beat hard with love. “Not one word from you after! For almost a year!”

Panchito stared at him in shock. “You wanted me to? You made it clear you did not want to listen to me so after I left you alone!”

“Of course, I didn’t want to listen to you!!” José cried, moving closer to Panchito with his finger raised. “Because I knew if I did I would fall again because I’m weak to you! I know I lie and people distrust me, but I have never lied to you when it was important. All those words I said that night were true, Panchito, every single one.”

The room was quiet except for José’s heavy breathing, but Panchito could swear the sound of his heartbeat was loud enough that José could hear it. It was like stepping on thin ice, the choice he was about to make was very likely to break whatever this was and have him sinking into a cold world where José was gone for good.

“Were?” Panchito questioned softly and he watched as José’s face changed to confusion, anger, and then fear.

“Ah, Escroto.” José choked out, his voice cracking as Panchito could see the parrot’s eyes grow wet with tears. “Were…and are. Of course, it is all still true.”

“Zé…” Panchito reached out and this time José did not try to move away, letting Panchito take his hands in his and stand close. “Whatever you want from me, I’ll give it. Even if it is only as a bandmate or less, I don’t care as long as I can still have you in my life.”

“You are truly such a depressing romantic,” José muttered, the humor there amongst the raw ugly feelings.

“I try,” Panchito replied and sighed in relief when José wrapped his arms around him and hugged him and he held the parrot back tightly. “But only for you.”

“Please stop,” José grumbled. “I can only take so much of your selfless declarations of love before I feel sick.”

“Alright,” Panchito whispered, the feeling of having José around him again making him feel lightheaded and he dared to rest his cheek on top of José’s head softly. “What do we do now?”

He felt José’s shoulders sag, any tension in the parrot’s body leaving as he leaned his weight against Panchito. José was quiet for a bit before he moved his head out from under Panchito’s cheek and looked up at the rooster with a determined look.

“Well, first I believe you need to treat me to lunch.” José started and Panchito was nodding before he could even think. “Then I want to hear that song again, without hundreds of other people in the room, and you will play it over and over again until I’m even more sick of it than I already am.”

Panchito let out a weak laugh, willing to sing for José until his voice could go no longer. “Of course.”

“And lastly,” José continued, suddenly seeming unsure and nervous. “I want you to buy me a ticket for the same flight you are taking tonight and if you can’t, you have to find a new one that we can both take…together.”

“Ay, Mi alma.” Panchito whispered, voice cracking as his eyes stung with tears. “Of course. Anything for you.”

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#Prompts #panjosé #Panchito is having a gay awakening and panics #Did I really write a song just for this prompt?#Yeah I did #panchito x josé #panchito pistoles #josé carioca #donald duck #the three caballeros #three caballeros #three gay caballeros #zé carioca #ducktales 2017 #dt17

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