#we had communication issues
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getvalentined · 1 year ago
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Not to dwell on this too much longer but I cannot fucking believe that we conceptualized, organized, created, presold, produced, shipped, ran leftovers and shipped leftovers on a whole fanthology during the layout arrangement period of a different fanthology that I was assured would go to print in spring of last year. Holy shit.
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lazylittledragon · 4 months ago
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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darrys-laundry · 3 months ago
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theatre etiquette is at an all time low, y’all cannot be singing and shouting things at actors. period.
they’re doing their jobs, and i did not pay the ticket price to listen to you.
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kanjichris · 3 months ago
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"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armand#the vampire armand#loumand#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#alice molloy#must preface that NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO USE THIS FOR LDPDL HATE PURPOSES#even though louis (well both of them lbr) clearly had communication and commitment issues#armand directed a play that would KILL louis all because he was self conscious that louis didn't love him enough#anyway this is just one interpretation of the 'alice rejected daniel's proposal' convo scene#cause i see soo many people ask 'why did armand say all that' (and have wondered so myself)#even though we cant rule out the possibility that devil's minion happened in the past and that this was armandaniel history tease#armand could be projecting his choice re: louis and the trial onto alice's choice here#similar to how daniel was projecting his feelings about paris onto claudia in this same episode#i just think this would make sense thematically w armand's arc this season#(ie revealing what a deeply insecure and selfish and fucked up lover he is under his guise as a 500 yo devoted and caring husband)#armand 🤝 lestat: i will love you and i will hurt you. if i cant have you then i will break you#[plays under your spell by desire] whats the difference between love and obsession and desire? do you think this feeling could last forever#c.txt#mine#'she didnt think she could trust you' sounds like a YOU problem buddy#and then armand realizes he was wrong too late and bro was SCRAMBLING#the start of something beautiful aka failmarriage!!! :D
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polycraftory · 23 days ago
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Okay, so, it's not like we don't have this problem all the time, but the week we spent with literally 87 books on the back ledge of our couch did not help. Welcome to our neurodivergent polycule finish a book challenge.
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here-comes-the-moose · 2 months ago
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So, I often talk about things that my grandfather does that I could see Tech doing, but this time I have something my dad does that I could see Tech doing.
My dad was and is always so involved when it came to our schoolwork, especially when it was a subject we were interested in. His dad wasn’t really around and wasn’t a great husband from what I’ve heard, so my dad has always taken being a father and husband VERY seriously (to him one of the worst things a man can be is a bad and/or absent father which is evident by what one of his favorite movie quotes is). A big part of this is him showing that he wants to be involved in things we’re excited about, but since he’s not an overly touchy-feely guy he does it in his own unique way. Two of the biggest examples I can think of is how I will mention a topic I’m learning about that is really interesting to me and then next thing I know he’s sending me every article he can find on that topic; another example is how when I mention a paper or project I completed or am working on that I’m excited about, he always asks to take a look at it and pretty much within the next twenty four hours he’s looked at it and sharing his thoughts, no matter how long it is. He did this even when I was away at college in a different state AND in a different time zone and even with my BA thesis.
This is just something I can really see Tech doing as a dad, since I feel we saw things like this in how he interacted with Omega. I can see him getting books for his kids on topics they’re interested in and trying to show them everything he can find about the topics. I can see him bringing his kids to museums, zoos, aquariums, etc. and just being excited to listen to his child and share in their excitement by asking questions and adding some thoughts of his own.
Idk I’m just really emotional lately and have a lot of feelings and thoughts right now 😭
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daffythefox · 1 year ago
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i feel like people say "abuse is always intentional and a choice" because it helps them believe that they haven't and will never abuse someone so long as they believe abuse is wrong.
Do you think every abuser woke up and thought "today I will abuse someone on purpose"? Probably some of them, but not all. Some abusers genuinely think that abuse is just how relationships work. Sometimes kids abuse other kids before they grow up and realize what they did was fucked.
If you decide that abuse means "person intentionally abusing another", what about people who were abused by people who weren't intentionally abusing them? Is that not real abuse?
I'm not saying that you shouldn't be angry at your abuser. I think you should be angry at whoever you want to be angry at. But I think looking back at your actions and checking "was what I did okay? how did my actions impact the people I love?" is very important, especially for people with NPD, where having issues understanding how your actions impact others is a symptom.
Having NPD makes forming and maintaining healthy relationships way harder. I would know. It's also way harder to control emotional outbursts while you're having one (and emotional permanence issues mean once you stop having one, it's hard to imagine what it felt like).
Introspection about why you did the things you did, if/how you hurt someone you care about, trying to make it up to them, and minimizing the chances that it will happen again, are very important. In "npd abuse" spaces, this introspection is usually shut down by "well, if you think you might be a narcissist, you're not one". But I think this introspection can be very helpful, so long as the introspection doesn't begin and end with guilt/shame.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 19 days ago
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reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books
just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
#snap chats#the key to reading comic books isnt to read them in order or even all of them just the ones you like#until eventually someone tells you some wack as hell fact about an issue and then you go read that one#many such cases why do you think i picked up onslaught revelation. cause that fucker is back#why do you think i picked up wolverine number 3 because my beautiful wife is hammered for two pages in it#brother was just talkin to me casually bout onslaught one day and i was like NO FUCKIN WAY thats how you do it !!!!!!!!#like the first krakoa story i read technically was resurrection of magneto followed by the trial of magneto#clearly we see i had an agenda vjALKJKLAJ BUT STILL#it was STILL a really good run ... i could piece together enough of the background before then and really enjoyed it on its own#with that said tho it was very cool/funny to see crumbs Of trial of magneto in way of x#BUT NOW I HAVE LEGION OF X HAHAAAA i cant wait to properly sit and read it ..... after i get through my New Mutants issues ....#i got those a while ago but i kept putting off reading them ... oops ..... i read the first one at least#i was gonna say something but i forgot. oh no i didnt i remember thats what i love about comic books#because theres So Many and so many timelines and stories it invites a lot of community interaction#just to be like 'oh hey did you know This happened in This issue you should check it out'. thats beautiful#even if. its to talk about utter dog shit like she lies with angels BUT STILL ITS COMMUNITY !!!!! we can be lovers AND haters together <3#its why i love getting physical comics too. i mean i dont have friends or people who visit me LOL#but i like the idea of bringing up what i have and letting people borrow it. community ......
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bununuu · 4 months ago
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might as well call me #1 shun defender bc that is my SON
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crabussy · 3 months ago
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man its absolutely crazy how far simple politeness gets you. if you are polite to strangers on the internet who hate your guts 9/10 times they will LISTEN to you and TAKE YOUR POINTS INTO CONSIDERATION????? I've have genuinely very pleasant conversations with people whose worldviews COMPLETELY contradict my own and have come away knowing that they're thinking about what I said and may have even changed the way they think about the issue we discussed. it feels like it shouldn't work but it works almost TOO well. if people feel like you're listening to and considering THEIR opinions and experiences, they'll listen to yours too. it goes both ways!!!!
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petrichorvoices · 2 months ago
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Which tends to work better for communication cards: having multiple phrases on one card but no images, or one/two phrase/s per card with an image alongside it?
We'll be using them for daily life, which includes university.
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storywestistrash · 2 months ago
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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fluffypotatey · 1 year ago
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you ever think about how MK never gets a chance to really define himself?
#had this thought while driving home#like he barely even gets any chance to place some identity other than monkie kid and delivery boy bc he always gets interrupted#every villain has their own preconceived notion on who and what he is#Demon Bull family saw him as a ‘little thief’ and ‘noodle boy’#Spider Queen called him junior or something????#Macky even told MK that he is nothing w/o the staff. He also projected a lot of his anger with swk to MK bc he saw a lot of similarities#LBD did one better and shattered his own self worth by feeding into his insecurities and trying to mold him into her pawn (champion? will w#ever know what she wanted and why she wanted Mac to capture mk and swk???? what was their role that she wanted them to play???)#Azure even tries to assert his own perceptions on MK in the special and oh boy how he snaps back (🥰 so satisfying)#‘Oh there’s nothing mindless about me…friend’ <- one of the rare times MK puts his foot down when other try to assume what he is#I betchu s5 will focus on MK grappling with his identity bc we laid some foundations he is ok with acknowledging it#But actually processing what this meant for him? I have a guess that he wants to avoid that#And the ironic part is that swk (if he knew which I think so) is now the one trying to get MK to communicate his thoughts and feelings#It’s swk who warned MK about the dangers of hiding or avoiding huge issues like having a giant & powerful monkey form#bc swk has spent like the past 3 seasons doing the opposite of what he’s preaching to MK at the special (this is why i love him he’s trying#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk mk#lmk qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian
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ophernelia · 1 month ago
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bye i'm settling in for the evening and popped on the newest episode of mj's "the way life goes" series and i see he shouted out all the wonderful machinima makers and i was on the list??? hello????? now i'm crying
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pdid-safe-space · 4 months ago
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the other ask actually reminded me of something; i'm curious, but did other p-did systems think they were osdd-1b before finding out about p-did?
we've known we're a system for roughly 10 years now and for most of it we said we were osdd-1b despite not really feeling like we belong because we barely had any switches at all, since the p-did diagnosis in the icd didn't exist until 2022 (i think?)
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faaun · 5 months ago
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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