#or when shows blow up on tiktok and people show up to sing/film

[darrys-laundry]

theatre etiquette is at an all time low, y’all cannot be singing and shouting things at actors. period.

they’re doing their jobs, and i did not pay the ticket price to listen to you.

[loguine-linguine]

Ok hear me out!!!

Steve is a musician who sings pop music and posts on TikTok. He’s kind of a C-ish list celebrity (definitely a bit of a nepo baby) and his music is poppy and catchy. It’s the kinda stuff that you can immediately tell is coming from someone who is actively holding things back/ isn’t writing from any truth. Mall music at its purest form. Then one day with no announcement Steve drops a double sided album that is like GOOD GOOD pop music. It’s also noted very quickly that the pronouns in all the songs have definitely switched to he/him. People freak out and he starts charting for the first time in his career. Kinda Chappell Roan-esque situation where he skyrockets to being a queer pop icon very very quickly.

He starts doing interviews. He shows up to these interviews in outfits aren’t dramatically changed from what he usually wore (polos, jeans, bomber jackets, 80s jock vibes) but it’s all just much more camp. The cropped shirts are shorter, the jeans are tighter, and the colors are all suddenly pastel. He has also started wearing makeup (not heavy makeup but it’s definitely a lipgloss, eyeliner, mascara, highlight/blush on the tip of his nose type situation). He shares that he dropped his old producer (who he had been set up with by his father) and that he’s now working with his best friend Robin. He comes out as gay, talks about his struggle with comp-het, and proudly shares that he is super excited to contribute to the growing movement of music that is being written by queer people, for queer people. His TikTok also blows up.

This is when Tommy Hagan first starts showing up. Tommy is an actor who is pretty well known for doing teen drama TV shows (like Riverdale type deals). He introduces himself to Steve at some sort of industry event right after Steve gets big and pretty quickly starts showing up in his TikTok videos. It comes out that the two are dating pretty quickly after that. They date off and on for about a year and a half. Tommy is a shitty enough boyfriend that even Steve’s fans don’t like him. He stands him up for dates, embarrasses him at events, says rude and dismissive things about his music, etc. Robin (who is also kinda famous by proxy/writes her own music now similar to Billie Eilish and Finneas) absolutely hates his guts. Publicly. They finally break up officially after Tommy cheats on Steve with an actress named Carol who is on a show with him. It gets exposed by the tabloids and Steve finds out by seeing a photo of them making out on one of those celebrity drama TikTok accounts.

Eddie is also getting famous around this same time. He’s the lead for Corroded Coffin and also starts acting occasionally in horror films. He doesn’t really pay much attention to other celebrities or the drama that goes on. He was never into that kind of thing before the band took off so he doesn’t see why he should now. Eddie and the rest of the band are at an awards show of some sort and the others make fun of him the whole time. He can’t stop staring at this absolutely beautiful man sitting at a table near them. “The guy is wearing a slutty little lace shirt, the tightest pants in existence, and has skin that looks like honey and caramel had a child Gareth you really can’t blame me honestly.” Steve and Eddie don’t officially meet until the after party where they immediately hit it off.

A few months later Steve announces a new album and releases a single. It’s just Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter but gay and clearly about Tommy.

The music video comes out and people loose their minds. It’s the same sort of video as what Sabrina Carpenter just released for Please Please Please with the stunning outfits and the whole bad boy thing. Steve spends the whole video in dresses and skirts. There’s even a corset at one point. The bigger freak out is the fact that the Barry Keoghan equivalent is Eddie and its a hard launch of their relationship that fans had absolutely zero clue was even a possibility because why would horror/metal man Eddie Munson even know Steve Harrington???? Robin and the Corroded Coffin guys think the whole thing is hilarious. Eddie and Steve are so so happy :)

[honeykaes]

the mashup

punkrocker!wriothesley x reader II 2.7k

warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, afab!reader with no set pronouns, music! au, modern au, punkrocker!wriothesley, r&b!singer!reader, semi-public sex, consensual filming, creamipes, fingering, riding, piercings, unedited

synopsis: your record label insists that the next phase of your career needs to require you to branch out to other genres and collaborate with an artist. After a long time of searching, to your surprise a punk rocker seems interested not only in the music, but yourself too.

Music is an avenue of expression, at least that’s what you always told yourself. You always felt yourself escaping into the vibrations and notes, amplifying your emotions and imagination as easily as putting two earbuds in.

There were many genres to which people escaped, and yours was the slow, sultry tones of R&B. With its elements of pop, gospel, blues, and jazz with a strong backbeat, you found yourself as one of the top performers in the genre. Your name was associated with the top streamers of Spotify and Apple Music. You even had trending songs on TikTok, people would dance or lip-sync too.

As a child, you never imagined the pitchy singing of your idols would bring you here among the hottest stars.

Despite the success, your record label was craving something different from you—eager to break into the “next phase of your career”, or so they say. They insisted you branch out into new genres and collaborate with some trending artists to give you a push towards winning a Grammy.

You were naturally hesitant, wanting to stay true to your craft and tune but their silvery words and promises of popularity caused your position to falter. Still, you wouldn’t just be collaborating with anyone your managers would send your way, you’d make sure of that.

The first one your label brought to your attention was Childe, a popular alternative singer from Russia. He was making waves in the Western market. His music was…alright and his personality was okay. Something about him irked you though, so you ended up passing on that opportunity to your label's dismay.

The second person they introduced you to was a pop singer by the name of Focalars. Furina was her real name though and she was as eccentric as ever. She was a bit vain and her slight condescension tried your patience a little too much, so you ended up passing on that opportunity as well.

Finally to your shock, a punk rocker reached out about a collaboration. No one would imagine R&B and Punk Rock could mess well, yet his label insisted otherwise. You recognized the name before, Wriothesley. He had been away from the spotlight for a while, only having small shows in London after an incident.

You heard he had punched out some hotshot producer for creeping on his subordinates at a party one night. Wriothesley ended up getting blacklisted for a while as a result. You weren’t sure why he was blacklisted, the creep Wriothesley punched out had it coming, but you knew the music industry was the music industry. Perhaps people were fearful that other cockroaches like that producer would get squashed by Wriothelesy as well.

Nevertheless, his label team things with your image and reputation could help mitigate his own in the community. 

When you first met Wriothelsey was interesting as well. Your labels had just finished the contracts, agreeing to a collaboration between your team and his. He would be singing a cover of one of your popular songs; ”everyone loves a rock cover”, your manager said. 

In addition, the two of you will be working on a new song for an upcoming film, your labels salivating at the thought of getting a Grammy and Oscar nomination.

Needing a break from the paperwork and discussing business, you headed out to the balcony to get some fresh air only to see him smoking there instead. His ears were decorated in silver piercings and a hoop loomed on his bottom lip. He took a drag out of his cigarette, letting the smoke blow out and dissipate in the cool air.

His eyes seemed tired, but his icy irises locked onto your own as he began to cough in surprise. He balled his fist up hitting his chest, to try to help him breathe as he tried to sputter apologies.

“Sorry there, I didn’t see you. I try to make it a habit for people not to catch me indulging in my vices,” he chuckled, still coughing from his surprise. You softly chuckled as well, walking up to him to admire the skyline. London was as gloomy as ever, and it seemed you would be remaining here for the time being.

“I didn’t think you were much of a smoker,” you hummed. The man playfully rolled his eyes, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and looking at it. His gaze seemed nostalgic admiring the soft ambers of one end of the rolled nicotine.

” It was a bit of a bad habit when I was younger. I usually just drink a cuppa’ whenever I get a craving but didn’t have an opportunity to so I caved,” he admitted. He threw the cigarette on the ground, stomping it out with his large black combat boots tied up in yellow and purple laces. You chuckled and nodded.

“I get it. No judgment here. Had to stop drinking coffee for a while. One day I drank about 4 drinks and could see my hand shaking when I was trying to write lyrics. Told myself to never get that far again,” you recalled. Wriothesley let out a hearty laugh at your story.

“See, we all got our vices,” he replied.

There was a soft pause between you two as you two looked at the towering buildings below you. The smell of rain on asphalt was prevalent. It must’ve been raining earlier when you were in your meeting, finalizing the collaboration. 

“I’m curious, why did you specifically ask to collaborate with me? Your managers at the meeting informed me that it wasn’t just their idea but yours,” you asked. Wriothesley simply shrugged before lifting his arms nonchalantly as he placed his hands on his jet-black hair with gray streaks. 

”I like your music, what can I say,” Wriothesley replied. You quirk your eyebrow in confusion. Why on earth would someone like him enjoy music from you? Wriothesley must’ve sensed your confusion before a lazy smirk made its way onto his pale face.

“What? Do you think I only listen to one specific genre? Should never judge a book by its cover” he murmured, tutting. You bit your lip, gaze darting from him in slight embarrassment. It was true. You didn’t only listen to R&B after all, you enjoyed a plethora of genres regardless of if it was the genre of music you made yourself.

”Besides, I see all the time people taking different genres and finding a way to mesh them together,” he added. Wriothesley moved so his back rested on the balcony as he crossed his arms and a more genuine smile fell.

“It would be an honor to do that with someone’s music I admire,” he finished.

Recording soon began after that. It was always interesting to see his fingers glide along his electric guitar, strumming and musing as if he were on another plane of existence. He would often flash you winks at these sessions. Banter turned to flirting to the point rumors began circulating in the office, but the two of you didn’t care. It was fun having him in your life and hard to fight off the smile whenever his callous hands would brush against yours when he got the chance.

A few months passed and it was finally time for the last recording session. As everyone left the studio for the night, you decided to stay back to fine-tune things on your end until you felt satisfied yourself. When you walked out, you noticed Wriothesley sitting on the couch. He was scrolling on his phone and looked up, hearing the heavy door of the recording studio open and close.

“Seems you finally got out. Took you long enough, love. I did want to celebrate with you,” he mused as he rose from the couch. You couldn’t fight the smile creeping on your lips seeing his presence right in front of you.

“Celebrate what exactly? Done being in this stuffy room together for now,” you retorted. Wriothesley simply smirked and shrugged.

“Perhaps I could take you to a pub and celebrate that way. Get a few drinks, I can show you the sights of London before you jet back to LA tomorrow,” he suggested. You took a sigh. You truly weren’t in the mood to socialize in a dark tavern tonight. 

“I don’t know about that….Why? Are you trying to take me out on a date?” you chimed back. Wriothesley chuckled and walked closer to you. 

”Maybe. Think I can be lucky enough?” he asks, hands reaching up for their chin. Your eyes widened slightly, shocked at his nonchalant confession before your expression softened. Your hands reach up, placing themselves on his firm chest. 

“We can always celebrate here…too…y’know…” you suggested. Wriothesley expressions darkened, a grin forming on his face. His hand left your chin, making its way towards your waist to bring you in closer to him.

”Didn’t think someone with a reputation like yours would be so naughty,” he hummed, deep in your ear.

”Don’t judge a book by its cover, I think you were the one who said that, no?” you retorted. 

Wriothesley leaned down, capturing your lips. His lips were sweet, tasting faintly of chapstick he must’ve applied earlier. His hands wandered up and down the curves of your body as the two of you made wait onto the couch.

As your form plopped down on the expensive leather couch, Wriothesley crawled on top of you. His hand cupped your clothed cunt, watching you grind onto his hand desperate to get any bit of friction you could. He sucked his caine as he smiled at the scene before letting his hand dip between the waistband on your pants and cup your now bare cunt.

“Already drooling for me…” he murmured, fondling your soft cunt. You rolled your hips, whining as his fingers brushed against your clit. Growing impatient, Wriothelesy, took his hand out before tugging on the waistband of your pants, bringing them and your panties down with it. Your bottoms were thrown aside on the rug, shielding itself from falling on the cool tile ground.

His icy eyes finally gazed at your cunt bare to him. He pressed his finger against one of your puffy folds, pushing it to the side to spread you out further and watching your hole convulse at the mere thought of having him inside of you. 

Clicking his tongue is satisfaction, he slowly sinks his finger inside of you. You whined, feeling the cool touch of his silver rings decorating his fingers as he slowly pumped them. His other hand goes beneath your shirt, moving towards the valley of your breasts.

He grabbed a mound—rolling your pebbling nipple with the side of his thumb while his lips pressed against your neck—nipping and sucking the sensitive skin. His fingers curled as he continued to thrust while the calloused pad of his thumb massaged your clit.

You writhe under his touch, soft moans falling from your lips. He shifted, his hips slightly bucking as his own erection pressed in his tight pants satisfied by the music falling from your mouth. His fingers drilled inside of you faster as the sloshes and lewd noises of your cunt echoed in the room. 

“That’s it…that’s it…you’re almost there, love. C’mon and give me a show,” Wriothesley grunted. A loud moan is ripped from you as you throw your head back. Your body twitched trying to come down from your high as Wriothesley whistled in amused, satisfied by the way your cunt squeezed and pulsated on his fingers. He dug his free hand into his jeans pockets, revealing his phone.

“Mind if I memorialize this,” he asked, flashing his phone to your tired gaze. You furrowed your eyebrows but whined feeling him pump his fingers slowly in your overly sensitive hole. 

“...If you show anyone and I mean anyone, Wriothesley—” you threatened albeit agreed. Wriothesley chuckled, moving to click on the camera app.

“And risk losing a person like you? Never. Besides, I don’t like the idea of anyone else seeing you like this…whining and crying just on my fingers. Y’know if you made a face like that then I wonder how you’ll look with my cock inside of you, hm?”

Wriothesley began recording as he continued to slowly pump his fingers inside of you before slowly dipping them off. He chuckled, admiring his digits coated in your slick before smacking down your clit as you jolted. You scoffed and grabbed his phone, filming the camera in his direction. 

”Well then why don’t you also give me a show,” you suggested, quirking an eyebrow up with an amused expression. Wriothesley chuckled and nodded. He slowly took his shirt off revealing his fit form, tattoos adorned his arms. His nipples were flushed and pierced as well.

”My eyes are up here, love,” he joked. You fought the urge to roll your eyes before you shifted the camera towards his crotch. He played with the waistband of his pants before slowly letting them fall, his cock immediately smacking to his lower stomach, pulsating eagerly.

He pumped his cock a few times, you could see precum budding at the tip along with his Prince Albert piercing. His moans are light and airy, clearly teasing you as you rub your thighs together.

He leaned over and claimed your lips as he grabbed the phone from you. His tongue dragged against your bottom lip as you moaned in the kiss. He shifted you on top of him so that he was lounging in the chair instead. You could feel how hard and thick he was as his cock pressed against your leg

”Well then, I can’t do all the work…Why don’t you go ahead and take a seat” he suggested, patting his upper thigh. You took their shirt off, hovering above their cock. You grabbed onto his member as Wriothesley sucked a breath in before you slowly sank down it.

As you slowly moved down on it, you could feel how much he was stretching you out. The dull burn as you inched closer was getting to you. Wriothesley offered a sympathetic smile reaching out with one hand to rub your clit to encourage you to sink down further. Although it was a tight fit, you eventually bottomed out. Your body shuttered feeling the foreign coolness of his piercing pressed against your gummy walls. 

His hand eventually leaves your clit before trailing towards your thighs and resting on your ass, where he gives it a tender squeeze.

”Don’t keep me waiting, lovely,” he cooed. With a grunt, you slid up before sliding back down continuously, pressing your hands against his chest as you bounced on his cock. Wriothesley bit his lip, zooming in as he reached out to fondle your tits before drifting the camera back down to where his cock was disappearing inside of you.

He could feel how tight you were, etching him to reach deeper inside. He starts to thrust up causing you to moan. You weave your own hand down to play with your sensitive clit to get more friction.

Wriothesley clicked his tongue noticing, before throwing his phone on the ground without a care. His large palms grabbed onto the globes of your ass before his pace grew faster. You could barely think as he pistoned himself inside of you, legs quivering as you didn’t bounce on him anymore.

His cock continuously hit that sweet spot inside of you as you shifted and gyrated your hips— drool dripping from your lips. You rub tight circles on your clit faster.

“There! There! There!!” you yelped out. Your back arched, as your eyes rolled to the back of your head finally reaching your high. Wriothesley grunted nails harpooned in the plush of your ass as his lower half bucks up, spilling cum inside of you. 

He continued to thrust inside of you, pushing it deeper while he groaned. Your voice quivered, feeling his warmth completely coat you as thick globs of cum smeared on your folds and thighs. You let your upper half lean down to rest as Wriothesley patted your ass gently, red from how tight he was clinging onto it.

His lips pressed against your shoulders for a tender kiss, heavy pants echoing in the recording studio.

“This’ll be a night to remember…” Wriothsley chuckled before kissing your sweaty forehead. His gaze softened at your tired panting one.

“I say it’s a good thing we will be working quite closely together for the upcoming year, wouldn’t you say, love?”

[tachineko]

what are some of the best bl's you think released this year?

hi!! so far i think this year has been good with bl's but i think these few are the ones that i think stand out the most.

currently airing

my personal weatherman

this one came as a shock to me. i haven't been keeping up well with mbs' bls, given that "eternal yesterday" scarred me for life. but knowing the original source, i saw the announcement of them doing this and thought, you know what, maybe it won't be so bad. it won't. and i got shocked at how much i love the actors, the setting, and the characters. i loved this series so much that my tiktok fyp page was filled with one of the actor's cute tiktok dances, and i guess that's just the algorithm for me.

kiseki: dear to me

you can already tell from the amount of gifsets i make that i love this bl. initially, i only watched because i know that my favorite bl scriptwriter, lin pei yu, who i've been a fan of since her first bl, was in charge of the series. but as it went on, i was begging for more because of how much the actors, the plot, the characters, and the setting draw me in. it will honestly become one of my most favorites after it finishes airing. the whole thing just gives off that history-trapped vibe that i've been yearning for in taiwanese bl for so long.

i feel you linger in the air

having read the original novel (go buy and read it. it's amazing), i was expecting this one to be just fine. now that a few episodes have been aired, i'm aware that they did some cutting from the novel to fit the lakorn-style series. still, the quality, acting, and chemistry are so good. i wasn't confident at first since it was directed by tee, but then again, you can't always judge a director from their other few series. especially since this one deals with heavy themes of identity, culture-bound issues, and history. so far so good. i think this might be a standout bl for this quarter.

completed

our dating sim

one of the hit bl's that i personally wasn't a fan of at first, but then i saw how good their chemistry was and how well thought out the plot was. i was also shocked that even the actors themselves didn't expect this series to blow up because it was great from start to finish. one of my favorite scenes this year is that one scene where kitae had an emotional breakdown in front of wan.

sing my crush

this one surprised me the most. having released all their episodes in one day, i was shocked at how long they've kept this from us. it was filmed during the start of the pandemic, and it was only given to us this year. such an amazing drama series.

though one of the reasons why i found this amazing was watching it when i was sick, so i guess that contributed to it.

unintentional love story

what i loved about this series is the length and character progression. it just goes to show that k-bl's have the potential to become full-length in the future.

moonlight chicken

another masterpiece made with love. i think there's not much i can say about this series other than it's one of those classic bl's. i recently recommended this to a friend for their first bl, and they loved it and became a fan instantly.

jun & jun

a bit controversial, but i think my own perception of this series was different than everyone else's. what i love about the series is its outstanding chemistry, easy-to-consume plot, and actors' visuals.

to me, this bl feels like thailand's first step in making korean bl. let me explain. one of the reasons why this series has some hint of thai production in it is because of the presence of high heat among the main characters.

now, a lot of people complain about the quality, but to me, it's fine. it's fine because it's not a series that's meant to be taken seriously, and it's also nonsensical for the sake of easy consumption among viewers. though i gotta say that the actors have great potential to be in other bl's as well.

[tommybaholland]

bnha boys as viral tiktok sounds + their reaction

featuring: bakugo, kirishima, kaminari, amajiki and dabi

bakugo swearing, mentions of titties, dabi gets suggestive. you know, the usual. enjoy!

bakugo  

physical embodiment of ‘how big are those titties bitch?! hurry up, i’m getting weird stares!’ 

you have him listen to the sound and you’re like ‘this u?’

“WHAT?? i sound nothing like THAT, you IDIOT” 

“and DONT ask me to make one of those stupid videos”

and of course you ask him and at first he’s pretty resistant to the idea

but he could never resist for long 

“OKAY FINE, IDIOT. just tell me what to do.”

you tell him what he should do and start the video

you make him hold up a tape measure and everything like you had seen in other videos

he seems to get into it and playfully shakes you by the shoulders while yelling the last line, making you laugh

“there. now stop bothering me and you better NOT post that anywhere.”

“thank you, katsuki,” pressing a kiss to his cheek, making him go red 

“yeah, whatever.”

you’re already thinking about how you can convince him to let you post it >:))

he finally lets you post it but only lets you keep public for one (1) day

but thats long enough to get everyone’s attention 

kirishima actually notifies him of the popularity and even turns baku’s attention to the comments

“dude, everyone thinks you’re so cool! and even some people are...well..”

amongst the simp comments, he becomes livid over the one that are like, “so...how big are their titties??👀” 

and it doesn’t bother you because people will just say whatever they want on the internet 

but he feels like he at least needs to reaffirm something 

“i dont care how big your... titties are. they’re big enough and i love you just the way you are.” 

then he grabs you and pulls you closer to him and starts attacking your neck with kisses

“now put that shit on private or i will reign hellFIRE on all those IDIOTS” 

kirishima 

definitely that one that goes ‘*sigh* i love you *kiss kiss kiss kiss* you set my soul on fire’ 

he’s familiar and comfortable with tiktok so you decide to surprise him with the sound that makes you think of him

“what do you want me to do, pebble?” he asks curiously, holding you in his lap as you set up your phone

“nothing. just be your cute and manly self. ready?” 

you start the video and look him right in the eyes as you sigh and say, “i love you” before leaning in to make him think your lips are gonna touch his

but then you quickly change direction and press multiple kisses to his cheek on the kissing part, making him giggle loudly and hug you close to him

you look back into his bright eyes while speaking the last line and he sees an opportunity to caress your cheeks to pull you in for a passionate kiss at the last second 

and the camera catches ALL of it 

he thinks it’s super cute and encourages you post it 

you’re not one to flaunt your relationship on social media but you do it thinking it’s not going to get much attention anyway

but it blows tF UP 

it gets to almost 1M views and 400k likes in just two days 

even though you made the tiktok, all the comments are about your boyfriends cute ass reaction like “oh to be them 😔” “the WAY that he looked at them and kissed them like😭” “if my boyfriend doesn’t do this then i don’t want him”

you show him how much attention he’s getting like, “wow kiri, they love you!”

and he gets all modest like, “i think they love you too because you’re my cute little pebble! now give your boulder a kiss..”

is totally down to make more tiktoks with you anytime <3

 kaminari 

this is not denki slander but 

‘you don’t have a thought behind those eyes, do you? sweet boy’

he’s actually the one that brings it up and shows you immediately when he hears the sound

he’ll be like, “is this what you think of me?”

and he’s joking but you know he can be self-deprecating sometimes 

“of course not, babe...well, sometimes. only when you’ve short circuited.”

he appreciates your honesty but still looks kinda sad about it 

you get closer, and caress the sides of his head to make him look at you

“you are a sweet boy, though. you’re my sweet boy.” and then you make him giggle by giving him eskimo kisses 

he wants you to film a video with the sound while his brain is fried 

at first you’re like, “are you sure?”

and he says he wants to keep it to remind him how great you are when you’re not around

he’s too cute so you agree

he makes himself short circuit pretty easily and without using his quirk by reading one of momo’s books with a lot of large, confusing words in it

you start the video and look him in the eyes to say the first part while holding his face

on the ‘sweet boy’ part you pull him to rest his head on your shoulder while your stroke his hair carefully

after you stop the video and he calms down he watches it and thinks it’s cute that you continue to hold him even though he emits small waves of electricity that can shock you 

“you’re the best s/o, you know that? i love you so much, my wonderful buzzy babe.” and he hugs you real tight

you offer to let him post it if he wants 

“no way, this is too special to share with anyone else.”

he is such a sweet boy >.<

amajiki 

thought about this one long and hard bc there’s honestly nothing cuter than this shy boi 

but ultimately 

‘you’re my honey bunch sugar plum pumpy-umpy-umpkin you’re my sweetie pie’

he doesn’t understand why you associate him with it when you show him

“because you’re so cute and precious, especially when you get all nervous and shy”

he disagrees, “no, bunny, i think you’re the cute and precious one here.” 

easily starts a ‘no you’re cuter’ war between you two 

but then he suddenly gets really nervous

“you’re, you’re uh, not gonna post a video about me, are you?” 

you’re like, ‘of course not’ but that doesn’t stop you from singing the song to him everytime hes being a cutie 

which is like, everyday 

and he thinks it’s equally embarrassing 

“bunny, please. i, i know you love that song, but i want to be cool.”

he just doesn’t get it

“but you’re both cool and cute, tamaki. the duality of you is one of the many reasons why i love you so much. i may be cute but i could never be as cool as you.” 

he’s so red in the face but he has to take the chance to kiss you with everything he has 

because if he can’t say it at first, he just feels it and does it 

“i love you so much, too, bunny. and you’re cute and so many other w-wonderful things. please never forget that.”

in conclusion *exhales* i love tamaki amajiki 

dabi 

two words: simp scream

you know what i’m talking about 

that’s the only sound i think about when i see this man

it’s either this or the one that’s like ‘sometimes bad things happen to people with nice tits’

but anyway so...simp scream 

one time you decided to make a tiktok with that sound while you two were getting ready for bed 

you’re just lying there, all innocent, and start filming right before he pulls his shirt off

he turns over to you with your phone propped up on your stomach

smirks once he realizes you’re filming and walks over to you as the ‘WOW w o w’ part plays 

you’re able to catch all of it before he gets on top of you, hovering above with a devilish smirk still present on his marred face

your phone falls against your stomach when he pins your hands down to the mattress

“what do you think you’re doing, hm princess?”

and before you answer he’s already leaning down to kiss and nip at your neck

you giggle as you reply, “nothing...just admiring my favorite burnt boy”

“well,” he lifts his head back up but remains close to your face, speaking seductively

“if you wanted to make a video with me, babydoll,” he kisses your lips slowly

“all you had to do was ask...”

[the rest of this headcanon was redacted bc mans too hot]

how we feeling on this lovely bnha night?? send all your desires and requests..

[kuroosweakness]

last updated: dec. 31st 2020 

aoba johsai: 

when their cute manager gets hit on

how the aoba johsai would react to finding out about their adorable manager’s traumatic past

aoba johsai’s reaction to kyotani’s baby gf

oikawa: 

as a boba order

as a part-time worker

road trip with oikawa

comforting an insecure s/o

with a curly haired s/o

trick-or-treating with s/o

waking up s/o who’s fake sleeping

losing their s/o in a public place

s/o who’s clumsy

with a s/o doing face masks

when his s/o dodges his kisses

when his s/o asks for something from the store

s/o’s phone blows up with notifications

s/o gets period blood on bed sheets

“you didn’t give me enough kisses today”

s/o calls him “just a friend”

protecting s/o from perv

s/o feeling insecure about gaining weight

oikawa and “hey shawty, is your man still around”

oikawa x reader who’s a dry texter

s/o gives them a matching couple item

with a bubbly nerd s/o

when his s/o falls off of the bed

s/o brings home a stray puppy

“don’t you think you can do better than me?”

oikawa x iwaizumi’s little sister

s/o who’s in a depressive episode

s/o who plays the same position in volleyball

s/o whose first language isn’t japanese

s/o who doodles all over their own body

s/o has an asthma attack

accidentally hit their s/o with a volleyball

“if you miss the serve, you get no kiss”

femboy boyfriend wearing a skirt, crop top, and thigh highs

s/o tells him they had depression

s/o asks his to slow dance

helping his s/o go to sleep

s/o who has a toxic friend

comfort hcs

s/o who has a toxic friend and feels powerless

chubby s/o who feels insecure

s/o has a panic/anxiety attack

s/o who has an inferiority complex

with a svicidal s/o

telling his s/o to slow down in school work and rest

s/o who’s having flashbacks

s/o who’s traumatized from horror movies

s/o with scars

with a moody s/o

with a clingy s/o

comforting s/o who’s freaking out over finals and major projects

with a s/o who gets a lot of confessions from others

with a jealous s/o

with a s/o with body hair

comforting his s/o going through an extremely hard time with an absent/uncaring father figure

s/o who got a septum piercing

when his s/o curses in their native language

when they catch their s/o self-harming in the changing room before/after a game

s/o who’s usually stoic, cold, and shy but is sweet to him

iwaizumi: 

as a boba order

as a part-time worker

trick-or-treating with s/o

losing s/o in a public place

with a s/o doing face masks

when his s/o dodges his kisses

s/o who’s clumsy

with a chubby insecure s/o

s/o gets period blood on bed sheets

with an amputee s/o

s/o calls him “just a friend”

protecting s/o from perv

s/o who cries a lot

s/o feeling insecure about gaining weight

taking care of his basketball player s/o

iwaizumi and “hey shawty, is your man still around”

accidentally saying “i love you” out loud

s/o gives them a matching couple item

boyfriend headcanons

s/o who always types formally

with a bubbly nerd s/o

when his s/o falls off of the bed

with a s/o who plays water polo

s/o who doesn’t have motivation to work out

s/o doing a sexy dance

s/o sing “baby don’t stop” ( nct u song )

the “try not to kiss each other” tiktok challenge

s/o brings home a stray puppy

“you didn’t give me enough kisses today”

caught making out with s/o

s/o overworks herself too much

extravagantly proposing to his s/o

comforting his stressed out s/o

s/o taking care of stressed out iwaizumi

s/o who sleeps with stuffed animals ( plushies )

s/o who plays the same position in volleyball

s/o whose first language isn’t japanese

s/o shows up at their game in their jersey

s/o who has stretch marks

cheerful s/o goes quiet

comforting s/o who’s insecure about their weight

s/o who has scars from surgery

taking care of s/o’s younger sibling

s/o who’s having issues with their best friend

when y/n’s ex talks trash about them

s/o is hurting from awful cramps

femboy boyfriend wearing a skirt, crop top, and thigh highs

s/o who has a toxic mom

s/o with scars

iwaizumi when his s/o wants him to lay on their stomach

comfort hcs

s/o has an anxiety attack

s/o who needs constant affirmation

college admission essay comfort hcs

s/o who has a sprained ankle

touch-starved s/o

s/o who’s reluctant of asking people for help when needed

s/o who has a differently abled younger sibling

s/o whose parent just got diagnosed with cancer

s/o’s parents fat shames her before a holiday meal

iwaizumi’s s/o comes out as asexual

iwaizumi unknowingly trigger his s/o’s eating disorder

when he talks in a baby voice without knowing his s/o is filming

with a s/o who gets a lot of confessions from others

with a mellow s/o who’s presence puts him at ease

with a s/o who often dyes their hair funky colors

when his s/o curses in their native language

when they catch their s/o self-harming in the changing room before/after a game

kyotani:

kyotani’s nightmare of losing his soft s/o

kyotani when his tough s/o breaks down

kunimi:

comforting his s/o after her bestfriend used her

teaching his s/o how to slow dance

matsukawa:

s/o’s parents fat shames her before a holiday meal

[achliegh]

Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 5:

Redneck Woman

Red Solo Cup

Eloise smiles as Leo continues to ramble on about these boys who have clearly stolen his heart. She sips her black coffee and sets it down on the counter she is leaning against. Walking over to her offspring, that is a total of two inches taller than her, she kisses his cheek causing him to stop mid sentence.

“Was I rambling too much?” The red appearing on his cheeks made her smile, ruffling his hair that is in need of his yearly head shave. He swats her hand away. “I know it's long but because someone told me how to keep my hair healthy.” Looks pointedly at her as she snorts. “I only cut my hair once a year and it's a full shave.” He sticks out his tongue.

“Who even raised you to be so disrespectful?” She dramatically puts her hand on her chest, then tightens the ties on her robe. Giving him a motherly smile she thanks him as he puts some toad in a hole on a plate for her. “I don’t have my hearing friend in to help me listen to you,” She makes a gesture like she is swooning with her hand on her forehead and her hand fanning herself. “ GuSh, about your hockey boys. But, it is very sweet.”

“I really like them Mama… I think you and Daddy would too.” He focuses on his toast as he takes a bite and brushes the crumbs onto the floor, much to Eloise’s annoyance. She knows this is a sign of him wanting to trust his emotions but doesn’t want to jinx himself.

“Come here, let's get all the motherly squishing done before Clay and… what was his name? Rex?” She pulls him into a tight hug and crushes him in her arms with her old lady strength. He relaxes completely into her and hugs back just as tight but making sure not to hurt her. He makes sure to have his head on her right shoulder so she can hear him.

“Reg, his name is Regulus but we call him Reg. I think you should try and adopt him like you did with Clay. Pseudo Mother is just your personality now that you are so old.” He squeaks and gets out of her death grip hug as she pokes his ribs. “RUDE!”

She is still cackling as Clayton bursts through the door announcing his entrance, running into the kitchen.

“I smell food!” He hops on the counter and begins earring Leo’s breakfast. She pats his knee with a happy yet defeated look on her face. She has told him so many times not to climb on the counters that cost more than some people's entire house. “Mm! Ma, meet Reg.” He gestures to a boy who looks like he feels entirely out of place, she was going to tell Clay off for talking with his mouth full but she has a new mission now.

Protect this kid.

After making a mess and eating, Clay and Leo go out to load the trailer and Horses up for the drive to Texas where the rest of their team already is. Eloise has started on the dishes and looks over to Reg and nods him over.

“You know how to rinse dishes?”

“No Ma’am.” She smiles at him and pushes the faucet to face the sink in front of him.

“No need to call me Ma’am, call me Eloise. Now, you just run the dish under the hot warmer and get all the suds off. Make sure I don't miss any food or spots because I am just a helpless old lady at the end of the day.” She gets a small smile to form at his lips as she shows him exactly how to rinse. An easy task, but one that he was never taught. That triggers something in her head that makes her think he was told he only has one purpose in life. No one only has a single purpose in life. “Who are your parents Reg?” She notices him tense at the question and immediately regrets asking.

“Orion and Walburga Black.” Simple and straightforward answer. He doesn’t want to talk about them. She nods and hums in acknowledgement. Passing the last few dishes in silence, she drains the sink and turns to look at him.

“So, what did Marigold and Bluebell tell you to convince you to come with them this summer?” She smiles at him as his whole demeanor changes. He smiles that same small smile but he visibly relaxes.

“First off, Marigold… Bluebell? What the fuck kinda names are those.” Eloise laughs in surprise. “Second, we watched tiktoks half drunk together for two hours while the rest of the team socialized.” She nods her head, that does sound like what those two would do. “And Third, I have been needing to get away from my brother and his boyfriend so they can boink in peace and not have to worry about me hearing.” He looks at her and his smile drops off his face. “Sorry, Leo told me you were laid back and I thought it would be alright to share this type of stuff with-”

“Reg I think you are a wonderful man who is going to keep those two pea-brains in line while on the road. Maybe loosen up a little yourself.” She smiles. “Is it alright if I give you physical affection? I tend to be a touchy person and not realize it.” He pauses for a moment and then nods, she pats his cheek and smiles as the other two walk back into the kitchen.

Reg is still a little stunned when Clay throws his arm around his shoulder and jostles him around.

After kisses and hugs goodbye Leo hops into the driver's seat, Clay in the passenger and Reg in the middle seat of the back. Reg has barely seen a truck in his life but this vehicle was fucking huge. Giant. Thicc some might say. The first few hours of driving was a podcast that Clay was in the middle of listening to when he picked up Reg. Once that ended Reg descended into music hell.

He has come to the conclusion that most country songs are about the three G’s.

Guns, God, Goodies (meaning like titties)

He was absolutely taken aback by how Leo was screaming, we can’t call it singing its terrible, these songs that are the complete opposite of him. Clayton at least liked goodies. There was one song that will probably stick with Reg his entire life. Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson.

Holy shit. When that song came on it was like Leo and Clay were having a contest of who could sing it the loudest. So, Reg decided that for his first check in with the team. Which Sirius was making him do because he is paranoid. Reg decided he would turn around in his seat and film a video of him painfully smiling and giving a thumbs up to the camera as Leo and Clay scream at each other.

“I’M A REDNECK WOMAN AIN’T NO HIGH PRICE GAL!”

Clay sees Reg recording and flips off the camera still singing. An hour later they pull up to this massive ranch style AirBnB with stables and all. It must have cost a fortune. Reg hops out of the truck and feels out of place, Yeehaws everywhere. Okay, there were like three of them and this giant man with long hair and a braided beard, covered in tattoos just reading a book on the front porch.

“That's our tattoo artist, he travels with us because he is the only person Leo and I trust to tattoo us. You’d like him, his name is Hagrid. But, no time to chit chat! We need to teach you some of the basics, we’ve got a rodeo in two nights. I am competing on Leroy and Peanut is just here for fun. How about we teach you how to care for them a bit?” Clay smiles at him and Reg remembers he is with people who want to be friends with him… for him. Not because of hockey or his family, not because his brother made them. Just for him. Reg went willingly with Clay to watch Leo as he led the horses one by one out into a pen for them to roam around in for a bit.

Clay went into more detail about how they care for them and what he thinks Reg can do. It was night already so they decided to go inside, Leo asked around to see what people were hungry for and made almost anything after someone had got groceries.

“I didn’t know you could cook.” Reg was sitting across the island from Leo as he finished up the food, having watched him make the entire meal.

“Mama taught me how to cook when I was younger, it was the one thing I did that wouldn’t get me in trouble with the law.” He rolls his eyes at the thought of the sheriff and Reg decides not to press. “What do you want to do tomorrow while Clay practices?”

They got wasted. Mostly on jello shots, Leo taught Reg the trick: rim job, blow job, swallow. Leo had promised the boys he would call them, he didn’t want to do it drunk but he misses them like crazy. Drunk or not he was going to call them. So, there he is sitting on the balcony out of his bedroom waiting for them to answer. Finn picks up first, shirtless and sweating.

“Okay Finn, I love this” Gesturing in a circle at Finn who just smiles out of breath and wipes his face with a towel. “But I need you to calm down, because I’m a little tipsy and that means I’m very horny.” He smiles when Finn laughs.

“Well I’m glad to know that even on truth serum you find me attractive.” Finn sets his phone down but props it up on some books as he finishes his warm down stretches from his run he just came back from.

Then Logan picks up, in Leo’s T shirt he left for him last time. It was baggy on him and his hair was messed up from sleeping. The side of his face is a little red and there are lines from his pillow squished into his face. He sleepily smiles at the camera.

“Hi Leo.” Leo groans in response and leans his head back.

“You two are gonna be the death of me. Fucking Christ.” He signs and looks at Logan who is suddenly bright red but smiling back. “You’re beautiful Sweet Pea.”

“Really?” Logan looks at him with such big unbelieving eyes that it breaks Leo’s heart.

“Mhm you and Finn make my little heart do a pitter-patter every time I think of y’all.” Being drunk Leo’s accent is incredibly thick.

“You sound like a true southern man there, Le. How is Texas?” Finn is sitting on the ground criss cross with his hands resting on his knees. Logan has laid back down and snuggled up with his blanket on his side. “You’ve been there a day right?”

“Yes sir! I have been here for a full 27 hours now and I can say, it ain’t no Louisiana but it’ll do.” He shows off his chipped tooth and hears a trilling sound on his railing and looks over to see a mama opossum with her babies hanging on her back. He smiles and flips the camera. “Look at This Little Mama!” He reaches his hand out and she looks at it suspicious. Logan told Leo to stop and Finn said no, but he knows what he’s doing.

To their surprise, the mama just lets Leo pet her under her chin and Finn takes so many pictures. The opossum lets Leo pet her babies with his finger and he pats her head on last time before he goes inside to flop on his bed.

“So, We’ve been thinking” Leo lifts his phone to be above his face as he slowly starts dozing off. “We want to come out.” Leo’s eyes snap open and he drops the phone on his face, rolling over to his stomach he wiggles his nose as he processes what Finn just said.

“Wait, like all three of us or just your two?”

“Well, we thought we would leave that up to you…”

“I think to start, it would be safest for all of us, if you two came out together first. We can talk about me coming out when I’m done traveling this summer, okay?” They all smile at each other nervously and Finn notices a couple of watery sniffles from Logan, they were going to talk to Dumo and Sirius tomorrow. Maybe then they can talk more.

“Leo, do you want to move in… in the fall? Winter? I mean you don’t have too but I would like it and I bet Logan would too. We miss you.” Finn has his fingers crossed where the others can’t see.

Silence.

“I would love to, let me give you my Mama’s number. She will be so glad to get me out of the house the rest of the year.” He laughs a little, they fall into a comfortable silence and Leo drifts off, fully dressed in his boots and everything. Clutching his phone like he never has.

Finn knocks on the Dumias door the next day. Nervous about this talk they are going to have with the other French speaking people. Finn can’t speak French so he hopes they don’t start speaking it because he will just up and leave. Logan opens the door and Finn can’t help the soppy smile that crosses his face when he sees Logan in his sweatshirt. He wondered where it went. Logan and Him walk into the dinning room where Sirius and Dumo are talking about new plays they want to practice. They look up when they enter the room and stand across from them.

“Dumo, Sirius I need you to mind your fucking business.”

“What he means to say is why did you tell Leo that he hurt Logan?” Finn translated.

“I was the one that hurt Leo! Leo did nothing and you guys fucking made him doubt us even more!” Logan crossed his arms and Finn rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“What? That's why you were so sad? Because of something you did… Logan, I know we sound like broken records at this point but please start talking to us.” Dumo looks at him with a slightly frustrated look in his eyes but also worry. It makes Logan’s skin crawl.

“I think you meant well with the shovel talk, but Logan was the one who broke things off with Leo before it even started. He told Leo we didn’t want him and all this other shit that was Logan being… scared.” Finn feels Logan take his hand and interlock their fingers. He looks at the smaller man and squeezes his hand as a way to say, I’m here.

Dumo and Sirius didn’t get another word in before Logan was dragging Finn out the door. Staying at his apartment for a few days. Lo already has some clothes there and… they had to film something special.

Rodeo the next day went well. The after party was even better.

They were in a large steel building with everyone, concrete floors covered in dirt with people swinging dancing their hearts out. Leo was drinking and Clay was drinking, they somehow managed to lose clay about twenty minutes ago. Reg was getting a facetime from Sirius and answered it so Sirius doesn’t worry, the music is so loud that he can barely hear him until a less background heavy song comes on and Leo is humming it while drinking out of his red solo cup.

“Reg where are you!?” Sirius was yelling because it was so loud and Remus was in the background trying not to laugh.

“I’m at an after party! Are you with the team?” Sirius nods and flips the camera to show everyone and Leo’s eye catches his boys.

“FINN! LOGAN!” He yells super loud so everyone turns to face sirius’ phone. “IF YOU WERE HERE RIGHT NOW I WOULD TOTALLY SUCK YOUR DICKS IN THE BATHROOM! AT THE SAM- CLAY!” Leo sees Clay in the ocean of people and scurries off before finishing his sentence. Reg looks back at his phone and shrugs. Finn and Logan are bright red and getting chirped to hell for sure but the music is so loud that he can’t hear them.

“I’ll call you when I get back to the BnB!” Sirius nods and hangs up. Wrestling two drunk idiots into an uber is fine but getting them out was like untangling headphones that you left in your pocket for three years.

Just legs everywhere.

Hands? Don’t know how to use them.

Braincell? Reg has it.

At some point Clayton started crying because a guy he thinks he has a crush on has a girlfriend and he isn’t Leo so he can’t convince two people to love him. Very dramatic. Leo thinks he lost his phone, even though he gave it to Reg at the beginning of the night, and he is worried someone will find it and steal his nudes for their own. Reg doesn’t even know how to respond to that.

Waking up the next morning. Leo has a mild headache, but nothing that will stop him from driving. It was going to be a good day. Especially when Leo got his phone back and saw a tiktok notification from Finn and Logan.

They came out last night.

Time to wreak havoc.

[thesunshinebunny]

May I be the first to ask for a reaction of the dorm leaders to a fem!reader dancing erotically/sexy?

OF COURSEEE U CAN SWEETY!!!!!

I am very excited to start having the first orders for TW. This is the one that caught my attention the most and  wanted to write ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off with the spiciness!!

Vice Dorm Leaders reaction

Cater/Jack/Floyd/Epel/Sebek/silver reaction

Riddle

King’s and Queen’s - Ava Max (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj--hAP_Zo0&list=RDRj--hAP_Zo0&start_radio=1)

The tea party was being a total disaster. Dorm members breaking the rules left to right, incompletely painted white roses, lack of control at the tables, a total madness.

Riddle was getting redder and redder, until he reached the same shade as his hair color.

Time to intervene.

“Cater go get your speakers and connect them to your phone with the music I am going to tell you, on my sign you press play. Trey distracts Riddle for a few minutes, lead him to the loung room if necessary. Ace, Deuce, Grimm, get away everything on the main table. NOW NOW NOW”

“YES MA’AM”

You ran into the bushes behind the main table and started to peel off your top, leaving you in a red lingerie bra. You ripped the bottom to fit some modern shorts and waited for everyone to be in position.

Show time, press play

With the beginning of the music, everyone fell silent, looking for the origin of it, but only finding you positioning yourself on the table.

Riddle shot out into the gardens, about to go "OF WITH YOUR HEAD" who deigned to put that kind of music. But ... like everyone else, he only found you....starting to dance.

People were crazy to see you dance with fluidity and speed ... a good crazyness. They were deconcentrated.

Ace and Deuce cheering as gay friends

Riddle was bewildered, he wanted to speak but the words didn’t come out of his mouth.

ASS TIME!

You broke this boy right then. His eyes followed the movement of your hips and hands, unable to avoid thinking of...

Cheers were raised when you stopped at "of with your head" Your eyes locked at Riddle’s and you gave him a...lewd smile.

Ace and Deuce came up to the table to dance with you and all the members of Heartslabyul began to dance in their places.

Cater had filmed everything and had a mischievous smile drawn on his face, just like Trey. May or may not will send it to Riddle late at night

One thing for sure. That day, you broke Riddle in the most erotic way there is.

Leona

Theeth - Lady Gaga (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnwLh6CWdUY)

That fucking bet. That damn Ruggie.

He convince you that if you managed to do the challenge without Leona being intimidated, he would do your homework for a whole month.

You accepted without measuring the consequences and without even thinking clearly about the challenge.

Leona, Ruggie and Jack were going to be training magift after class with their teams in their arena. Time to attack.

The game was about to start, each player in his position, when suddenly ... a few blows began to sound.

Music came from the speakers. Everyone was baffled, including Leona, he was going to teach the herbivore who dared to interrupt his training a good lesson.

Before he even raised his voice angrily, he caught sight of Ruggie who was pointing him, with a wicked smile, toward the stands.

You were standing there, slowly going down and positioning yourself on your stomach. It’s when you started moving your hips that Leona clicked.

You’re dancing, erotically.

No dorm member could swear to have seen Leona so expressive before. His eyes wide open, his mouth almost reaching the floor, and ... if they dared to go lower, they could sight a tent in his pants.

In the middle of the choreography, you turned around, and Leona was nope and went to you, grabbed your hips and placed you on his shoulders.

“the show is over, go back to training”

From your escort, you could see Ruggie laughing and waving at you with an evil grin. You lost the bet.

“You want to move your hips? I'll give you a reason to move them”

He spanked you and took you to his room.

Moans and grolws could be heard at the arena.

Azul

Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tkfX2phlfE)

It was a disaster.

The person hired to give an entertainment canceled at the last minute. Azul’s throat vein was about to explode.

Customers in Mostro Lounge were getting hysterical, demanding music, dancing, singing, whatever, something.

In desperation he turned to you.

"You need someone for a show, I can help with pleasure"

"Do you know someone who dances, sings, plays an instrument, or tells jokes?"

you gave him a look. Is he serious? You asked him to give you about ten minutes to get ready.

When the lights went down, leaving a dim light directed at you, Azul immediately regretted his choice.

positioned in the middle of the stage, wearing a black top, leaving little to the imagination and tights squeezing your butt, you began to dance a song that he did not know.

“Oh Carp”

The clients, now hypnotized by your dance, began to scream with happiness. Finally the show they were promised.

"The little shrimp sure know how to move" Damn Floyd, don’t make it worse than already is.

Azul felt very uncomfortable from the waist down and felt that at any moment he was going to get ink wink wonk

He asked you to go to the vip room when you’re done to ... discuss your little show in private.

He’ll have to get a few customers to sign a contract to avoid putting their dirty hands on you.

But for now, he's pleased to put his own hands all over your body, and inside you.

Kalim

O Saki Saki - Nora Fatehi (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohRFMg9OxfU)

I know, I know, it is too cliché to put a hindu song for Kalim, but this choreo was around all over tiktok and I couldn't get it out of my head.

Kalim was fascinated when you told him about your old hobby back at your world. Belly dance

He organized a party at his dorm only and exclusively for you and that you could teach not only him but also everyone your fantastic steps.

He even left you a change of clothes in his room and asked you to tell him when you were ready.

Show time, press play

At first he was delighted, you had directed him to cloud nine and had no intention of going down. But...when your movements started to go down, his happy gaze started to fade away.

He settled into his seat and put his hand on his mouth, trying to hide his obvious redness. Jamil realized don't worry. It was hard not to realize that Kalim’s mood had changed and that he needed to solve a...thing.

When you got to the famous part of the dance, he was controlling himself not to go up to you and take you to his room in front of everyone.

Whe you were done, he excused himself from his dorm members and Jamil, grabbed your hand, and the two of you didn't leave his room until the next morning.

Let's say that Jamil didn’t sleep well that night ... or nothing at all.

Vil

Earned It - The Weeknd (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji-l0n6GcnA)

You went to his dorm asking if you could use his ballroom. You've been wanting to dance again for a long time and your own dorm wasn't going to give you the space you needed.

He said yes without problem and left you alone while you practiced.

After a while and intrigued to see your practice, Vil returned to the ballroom hoping to surprise you, but it was he who was surprised.

"Oh ... my, what a view"

His gaze was on your butt, for it round and apple-shaped.

He was intrigued by your dance, impressed by your flexibility and how in those lewd movements, he could find pure beauty.

You were completely immersed in your choreography that you didn't notice Vil standing at the door.

Reaching the end of the dance, you noticed Vil smiling from ear to ear. "Oh no potato, don't stop for me"

You smiled at him and positioned yourself in the middle of the room, turning your back on Vil and looking at him through the huge mirror.

He stood behind you, his hands on your hips. You both waited for the start of a new song.

The two danced together an erotic moves with it’s ending was between the bars and the mirror.

Idia

God is a Woman - Ariana Grande (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evlwPF6g-c8)

Idia was playing on his computer when a movement on his camera caught his attention.

You two used to make video calls constantly because of his fear of interact to other people.

When he opened his app, he noticed that you had left the camera and the computer audio on. He was to say something when music started playing.

You appeared in his field of vision wearing only shorts and a transparent black shirt, which left your nipples visible.

“Oh my Aphrodite. What is this? An unlocked Ero scene?”

Seeing you move so smoothly, he couldn't help but imagine his blue lips on your nipples, watch them harden and turn violet when sucked by him.

Ortho had to enter his room with a fire extinguisher when he started to see smoke coming out of his door.

Idia was completely red, from feet to hair and with a serious problem in his pants.

You may or may not have known he was watching from the beginning.

You will have to pay a visit to Ignihyde dorm leader that night.

Malleus

Buttons - The Pussycat Dolls (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E3CgGyPSr4)

Malleus was taking his night walk when he heard music come out of your dorm. Interested on that unrecognizable music, he went to your door.

He was about to knock when it slammed wide, apparently you had forgotten to close it. It wasn't in his plans to interrupt you, but he was completely curious about what was happening here.

His gaze met with your body dancing something he deciphered as erotic.

"my, my"

He was delighted with your movements to the point of bringing out a genuine smile, which disappeared when your top disappeared, leaving you alone in black and green lingerie.

His eyes widened. His hands began to sweat and he had a strange need to get close to you.

At the end of your dance, you had the scare of your life when you saw the tall and horned figure of Malleus on the doorway of the lounge room.

"Sorry if I scared you, it was not my intention to interrupt you while you’re enjoying yourself"

"How long have you been standing there?" "Since the beginning"

He approched you. He put his thumb on your lips and his piercing gaze met yours. You weren't sure if your legs were shaking from the exercise or how hot and wet Malleus could make you with just his gaze.

"Could you dance for me again?"

You nodded, unable to speak.

He kissed you, lifting you up from your hips and heading to your room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

If you like what you read, I would appreciate if you could support me on: https://ko-fi.com/abrightsunshine

[joezworld]

Toby - Rap God

Guys I was making myself laugh when I wrote this - I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

Based entirely on one line from this.

2019

There are many engines on the Island of Sodor, and like many people, music is often part of their lives.

Some engines, like Percy and Duck, have no interest in the subject, having never been exposed to it in a real manner.

Others, like Gordon and Henry, have extremely well-defined music tastes. (Unfortunately for those around them, they do not like the same music, and arguments often ensue.)

James, being extremely vain, enjoys the songs written about him for the children's television show based on the writings of The Thin Clergyman.

And then there’s Toby...

-----------

Toby is a small brown steam tram. He has spent almost all of his life on Sodor on Thomas' branch line, where he and his coach Henrietta trundle up and down the valley at the top of the line - providing a valuable commuter service from the branch line terminus to the stone mines at Anopha.

Toby likes music, as does Henrietta; they like it so much that in 1989 the workmen installed a radio in Henrietta so that the two could listen to music on it as they worked.

This was very thoughtful gift, but there was a small problem:

The hills outside of the quarry meant that many radio stations couldn't reach the small antenna on Henrietta's roof.

Fortunately, a few did, mostly overpowered stations on the Isle of Man. These stations were designed to reach boats far out at sea, and mainly played uninteresting things like the Shipping Forecast.

There was, however, one station that did come come through loud and clear no matter where you were...

---

You're listening to ManxPirate - the Barely-Seaworthy voice of the Sudrian Sea. I’m your sea-going Deejay - or Sea-Jay - Musik Mike! Up next is our most popular block of the day - that’s right, the JAMS are LOUD and we're all gonna get DEF!

"Oh Henrietta! It's starting!"

"Just be ready on the choruses Toby"

------------------

The sounds of music echoed off of the Els river valley as Toby and Henrietta trundled towards Elsbridge.

Aside from their Quarry duties, Toby and Henrietta also worked 'the school bus', a daily train that carried schoolchildren from the remote farmhouses between Elsbridge and Hackenbeck to the Saint Pedroc's school in Elsbridge.

Toby loved this route - many of the children had been taking 'the bus' since Grade 1, and he felt privileged to have seen them grow up into fine young adults.

-

As he pulled into the platform at Elsbridge station, he saw those young adults crowded around each other.

'"Peep Peep! Let's go, everyone!" he called to the teens.

"Just a minute Tobes!" Called back Sera, one of the teenagers, before she turned back to her friends, who were filming her with their 'smart-phones'.

"Whatever could they be doing?" He asked Henrietta as Sera and her friend Phoebe bounced up and down in unison while waving their arms around.

"Undoubtedly something for the internet," the coach mused. "But I have no idea what - trends change so fast now".

"Internet?" Toby was puzzled. "Don't they need a computer for that?"

"Toby. Smartphones have been around for over ten years. How do you not know about this?"

"I'm sorry that I'm not as technologically advanced as you - but at least I know what steam is!"

"Oh my goodness, it's also a video game company now. You've heard those jokes before!"

Toby and Henrietta likely would have gone on like that until the guard blew his whistle, but Phoebe broke away from the group of teens, her phone in her hand.

"Toby?" She asked, clearly trying not laugh. "Do you know what Vossi Bop is?"

Toby was taken aback. "Of course I do. Vossi Bop isn't my favourite, but that's just because I don't like Stormzy that much - I'm not one for Grime."

Phoebe blinked like she'd been poleaxed. "What?"

"It's a Stormzy song, isn't it?"

"Toby," Henrietta sighed. "She was asking because she thought you didn't know. Was this going to be some kind of thing where you show rap music to the elderly and laugh at them being shocked?" She asked Phoebe, who nodded slowly.

"Well, you're going to have to better than that young lady," The coach smirked. "We've been listening to ManxPirate since before you were born!"

"Really?" The blonde asked slowly.

"Oh yes!" Henrietta boasted. "Eazy-E was still alive when we first tuned in!"

"Oh, em, gee!" The girl said, before turning and shouting down the platform. "Guys! They do know!"

-

The excited teenagers crowded around Toby and Henrietta as they quizzed the tram on rap music. Any thought of leaving on time was totally forgotten about as Toby's extensive knowledge of gangsta rap was laid out for them.

"Mate, mate," said John, one of the boys. "You gotta do The Challenge if you know all this!"

"What challenge?" Toby asked.

The teens clamored over each other, before they all stopped to let someone speak intelligibly.

Rachel Kyndley eventually spoke up: "It's a thing that ManxPirate is doing on TikTok. You sing along to a rap song and whoever does it the best gets to record a charity single with Stormzy!"

The teens again spoke over each other, all claiming that Toby and Henrietta should sing for the challenge.

Toby had to blow his whistle to calm them down. "I suppose there's nothing to lose by it," He said after a moment. "But I should say that my flow isn’t that good."

"Mate, I am amazed that you know what that means,” Said John. “But you just need to sing along to somethin’ that’s already out there.” 

“Oh.” Toby looked back at Henrietta. “Well that shouldn’t be too hard. Do you have any N.W.A we could sing along to?”

As he had the only ‘eye-phone pro’, Simon the student newspaper editor was volunteered as cameraperson, while Rachel set a small ‘blue tooth speaker’ on Toby’s bufferbeam so that he could hear the music.  

The remaining teenagers pulled out their phones as well - whatever happened next was going to be un-fucking-believable. 

-

The music began with record scratching. The kids looked at each other in shock. There was no way that Rachel had picked this.

"Right about now NWA court is in full effect” Henrietta sang.

Rachel had. The teens could barely contain themselves. 

“Judge Dre presiding in the case of NWA versus the police department.

Prosecuting attourneys are MC Ren, Ice Cube and Eazy motherfuckin' E”

Hearing Henrietta say ‘fuck’, was an astonishing experience for the unprepared teenagers.

“Order, order, order, Ice Cube take the motherfuckin' stand

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth

And nothin' but the truth so help your black ass?”

“You goddamn right” Toby responded. Rachel Kyndley barely could hold back a shout of astonishment. I hope there’s no book written about this! She thought.

“Well, won't you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?"

Then there was a record scratching sound. 

The teens knew what came next. They hoped that they were prepared to hear this song come out of Toby.

"Fuck the police comin' straight from the underground!" 

Toby and Henrietta not only sang this lyric, they sang it in harmony. 

The teenagers thought that they had been prepared. 

They were not prepared. 

Most of the next few verses were lost underneath the clamor of twelve teenagers losing their goddamn minds.

--------------------

A few days later

Toby was resting in his shed when a little car came tearing into the station parking lot. More girls than should have been possible to fit in it came tumbling out and made a beeline for his shed, Rachel Kyndley in the lead. 

“Toby! Toby! Toby! You won! You won!” She shouted as she skidded over the gravel. 

“Won what?”

“The Contest!” She shrieked. “Your video went viral and you won The Contest! Stormzy said on Instagram that he was excited to meet you!” 

She and her friends dissolved into happy squealing, preventing any further speech. 

“What’s Instagram?” Toby asked Henrietta. 

--------------------------

The Next Week

Stephen Hatt was enjoying his tea and tolerating his toast and marmalade, when his son Richard burst into his office, waving his phone around like a sword. 

“Were you just not going to tell me that you let Stormzy visit the engines? Or was I just supposed to figure this out when Kieran and Micah tore my ear off for not letting them meet him?!”

“I have a phone, you know. And a receptionist.” Stephen said as he cleaned tea off of his desk. Fortunately, most of it had gone onto the marmalade covered toast, which he unceremoniously dumped into the trash. “And who have I let meet the engines?”

“Stormzy? The rapper? He headlined at Glastonbury last bloody month?”

“I don’t follow.”

“He’s a musician, and you let him record an album with Toby!”

“He recorded music? With Toby? Our Toby?”

“Yes! It was supposed to be a single, but now it’s an album! It hit number one! And it’s been out for three hours!”

“You’re saying this as if I have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just read the article!” Richard shoved the phone into his hand. The website for  BBC Sodor and Man was open. 

-

STORMZY DROPS SURPRISE ALBUM WITH SURPRISE COSTARS

ELSBRIDGE - Music fans across the world were surprised this morning when Stormzy unexpectedly announced via Instagram the release of his newest album, Back in Their Day - featuring two of the realest OGs I’ve ever seen.

Residents of Sodor were especially surprised to discover who those “two real OGs” were: Toby and Henrietta, an engine and coach on the Ffarquhar Branch Line. 

This unexpected collaboration began several weeks ago when a viral video on TikTok featuring the pair attracted the attention of the rapper...

-

Stephen skimmed the rest of the article, not quite believing what he was reading. “I didn’t authorize any of this.” He said at last. 

“Really?” Richard said, not quite believing him. “Because that’s what the staff on the Branch told me too.”

“I swear to you I didn’t do anything.”

“Then what, did the biggest star in the country just go to Ffarquhar and record an album with Toby? With nobody’s permission?”

----------------

[TWO YEARS LATER]

--CHANNEL 4 INTERNAL TRANSCRIPT: THE LAST LEG 2021 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL--

ADAM HILLS - So we’ve had a lot of questions, about, the last album you dropped-

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

AH - The one with the train engine -  I think his name is Toby?

STORMZY - And Henrietta. Can’t forget her. 

AH - Of course not.

S - What do you wanna know?

[MORE LAUGHTER]

AH - Well, I don’t have any questions - and when I say we, I don’t mean Alex or our viewers - 

[PROLONGED LAUGHTER]

AH - I mean Josh.

JOSH WIDDICOMBE - [TO ADAM] You’re an Arse. [To STORMZY] - Um, I just wanted to know how you did it really. Is it, is it true that you snuck in and did it all in one night?

S - Oh yeah! Absolutely. ‘Cause, I thought that it was gonna be a one and done, like just a single y’know? So I just went there and was gonna do it and go. But as we kept talkin’ I realized that, that, I just had to make more, and then it became the album and we shot a music video for ‘scrapp’ on the same night and then I did some sound work  and then it went up. 

AH - Just like that?

S - Just like that.

[jedifighterpilot2727]

Supercorp Tik Tok HCs

So Kara for sure has a TikTok, right?

- She does an article for CatCo one day about changing media and watches a ton of videos “for research”

- Then she gets the idea that CatCo should have a TikTok channel to connect with more people and spread important news

- Snapper thinks it’s stupid but maybe it will get ponytail out of his hair for a while so he agrees

- Kara keeps up with the memes and actually delivers a lot of really useful information (think Washington Post TikTok style) and the channel becomes extremely popular (Nia often gets dragged along into Kara’s shenanigans)

- The DEO takes advantage and gets J’onn to pose as Supergirl in a video where he and Kara pose as dopplegangers

- She really wants to do more of the dance challenges so she creates her own personal channel which of course also blows up

- She posts eating challenges - including drinking and entire glass of gatorade through a paper towel tube

- Kara and Nia post secret handshake videos

- Alex makes many appearances as the disinterested older sister, her first being the “Yo, badass sister check!” video where Kara gets her in her full DEO uniform

- Lena makes her debut much the same in her “Famous best friend check!”

- Lena makes more appearances in Kara’s videos as time goes on, the most popular being -

- “When your best friend forgets to eats lunch” where Kara drops bags of food on Lena’s desk unexpectedly

- “Finally talked her into taking a road trip! (She has no idea where we’re going)” featuring Kara taking Lena to the science museum across the state

- “She didn’t know I could sing” where Kara randomly starts singing and captures Lena’s shocked face the moment when she hits the high note

- Of course Kara’s followers pick up on the chemistry between her and Lena almost immediately and start making suggestions that go right over Kara’s head at first

- She does the “My SO is playing video games and I climb into their lap” video while Lena’s working on her laptop (of course Lena immediately puts down her work and snuggles Kara

- “Whoa no, I think I’m catching feelings”, where Kara pans to Lena in her glasses and a messy bun; Lena just rolls her eyes, used to Kara’s antics

- Kara is kind of starting to catch on to her followers, especially when they suggest that she film a “I have feelings for my best friend but they don’t know so I kissed them” video

- At first she laughs because like of course she doesn’t have feelings for Lena

- But then . . . maybe she does?

- But she definitely can’t tell Lena about it.

- So she shows Lena a bunch of the videos and she’s pretty sure she sees longing (or is it heartbreak?) in Lena’s eyes so she decides to go for it

- She gets so nervous while filming the video, and it takes all day (it’s one of their rare but coveted “Kara and Lena watch movies all day” days)

- Finally Lena goes to the kitchen to get a snack refill and Kara shoots her shot

- She sets her phone up to film on the counter and walks up to Lena and turns her so they’re facing, you can’t hear what they’re saying because of the music but their lips are pretty to read

- “Can I kiss you?”    Lena’s eyes flick to the camera, she knows Kara’s been filming all day    “Wait, are you serious?”     Kara nods, reaching for Lena’s hips     “It’s not just for the video?”     Kara shakes her head and Lena barely pauses before pulling Kara’s face towards her and crashing their lips in a kiss

- The video fades to black there because, let’s face it, things got PG-13 pretty quickly, but it comes back with a “we’re dating now” update featuring Kara and Lena snuggled on the couch

[onestowatch]

For dodie, a Bit of Madness Is Key [Q&A]

“Oh, I’m so human/ We’re just human,” confesses dodie on the title track of her third EP, Human. It is a simple yet profound sentiment that builds an impressive level of atmosphere, as well as the emotional crux for much of the English singer-songwriter’s touching musings. For whether dodie finds herself diving headfirst into an idyllic, lovelorn number or stepping back into a moment of stripped-back reflection, there is an undeniable human element to the entire affair.

Perhaps it is that very notion of accepting every facet of what makes us human that begins to explain dodie’s near-universal appeal. Opening up about her own struggles with mental health in both her music and on her various social media platforms, dodie has amassed a monumental following whose dynamic more closely resembles that of a collective family than that of your typical fan-and-artist relationship. 

We had the pleasure to sit down with dodie, who is currently in the midst of her largest headlining tour to date, to discuss what it means to be human, her friendship with Tessa Violet, being labeled a YouTuber, and gifting a purpose to your pain.

OTW: I was in the bathroom, which is a great way to start any interview.

dodie: Yes, it is.

OTW: They had this question written in chalk on the wall. “What keeps you up at night?” Very heavy.

dodie: And you stole it.

OTW: Exactly. I just thought, “That’s a good one.” So, what keeps you up at night?

dodie: Oh, man. Do we really want to start like this? Ok, let me think. What keeps me up at night? My friends talking in the other room. I guess the fear of death will creep in now and again. I think sometimes I’m guilty of thinking about the past a lot and what it used to be like. I feel like I’ve trained myself pretty well to fall asleep pretty quickly. If I’m not feeling great, I’ll be like, “Brain, time to turn off, and begin again the next day, just try again.” If I’m feeling good, I feel good enough to sleep.

OTW: Moving beyond existential dread for a moment, let’s talk about your latest EP, Human. What do you think it means to be human?

dodie: I think it means experiencing everything. Forgive yourself and forgive everyone else, because we are experiencing life. So yeah, feeling a lot, experiencing a lot, maybe doing shameful things, and forgiving yourself.

OTW: You’re very open when it comes to speaking about mental health. As someone who got their start on a very public-facing platform, was this sense of candidness planned from the outset? 

dodie: Nothing has ever been planned. I think I’m planning now, but when I began and the way my career grew, it was not planned. I think I started kind of experiencing different symptoms of mental health problems, and it was new to me. I don’t think I had it in me to keep up this happy pretense, so I started sharing naturally on various platforms. And I think at first, the response was very kind–people related -- and my community was small enough back then for it to be this really wholesome thing that didn’t have many consequences. It’s more difficult for me now, because there’s just way too many people and way too many opinions, so I kind of hold myself back a little bit more. But it was a helpful thing.

OTW: As someone who has personally and publicly dealt with mental health issues of their own, what do you think is the best advice or best thing a friend has done to help?

dodie: Just listen. It sounds like such a stereotype, but it really is the best thing you can do. When I think about all my friends, and the times I needed them most... I’ve called friends, sat on sofas as they stuffed pillows in my arms or just put everything down and listened to me cry, and talk it out. They don’t even have to pretend to understand. Sadly, a lot of my friends have mental health problems too, so they can relate very easily. 

I think just having the space to let me know that I’m being heard, and just that they’re there for me is so important. I have a friend called Shannon who says, “We will sort it out. We can do that.” That makes me feel so supported. When everything’s overwhelming she’s like, “We will get through this.” I love that so much.

OTW: Would you say a lot of your songwriting comes from personal experience then?

dodie: I think I play with themes that run in my life. More recently, I’ve been experimenting with writing from different perspectives. I saw Lin-Manuel today. He’s writing the new Little Mermaid songs, and he said something along the lines of “Oh, I should get out my Moana book, because he wrote all the songs from Moana, which are all water-themed.” And he kind of got over the Moana songs he wrote. I feel that way. Like, I’ve written about love and mental health a lot, and it’s hard to keep going back and being like, “I’ve already written this song.” So yeah, I think I kind of play with different themes in my life that come across. Life is so damn long, and so much happens that I don’t think I ever will run out of inspiration.

OTW: There’s an ongoing conversation of “Oh, you’re a YouTuber-turned-musician,” in spite of your very first uploads to the channel being your own music. 

dodie: I definitely understand it though, because I did grow up online. Basically, I don’t want to get mixed up with people who made YouTube videos solely, and then decided they wanted to make music for fun. Because my music has very much been intertwined with my videos since the beginning. I don’t mind the word “YouTuber,” or being called a YouTuber. It would be dumb to hide and say that I wasn’t, or that I’m not, because I still enjoy YouTube sometimes. It’s a little weird now, but it’s still really fun to sit down and make a video. So I don’t mind, I guess it’s just an easy title to say.

OTW: There is a whole new generation of apps and platforms, from Instagram, Spotify, to TikTok, which have allowed for an unprecedented level of visibility. Any thoughts on the present state of streaming and social media culture?

dodie: It’s interesting because there are a lot of talented people out there, and now there are so many platforms in which you can get yourself discovered. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think it’s a pretty cool thing -- to have the potential to create a portfolio on whatever platform you choose. It’s weird. It’s interesting. It’s terrifying. I’m kind of glad I came to it before, and I got to experience what it was like to have that world in a smaller way.

OTW: Speaking of fellow YouTubers, who have gone on to make some amazing music, what is the story with Tessa Violet?

dodie: I was a fan of Meekakitty. I guess you could say that Tessa was a YouTuber-turned-musician, but she’s a damn good musician. She deserves any title. Touring with her was awesome. She is the coolest woman. I love her songs. I can’t wait for her to blow up an become a pop goddess; that’s what she deserves.

OTW: 100% agreed as someone who has watched the music video for “Crush” far too many times. 

dodie: It’s so good. I remember when she was playing me her songs, because she’s just like me, she has a lot of self-doubt. She was sending me various versions of songs saying, “I don’t know if I like this.” And at that time she was spending so much money trying to make these songs, trying to make videos, and she wasn’t sure if it was going to work out. I just kept saying, “Trust me, when people hear this song, the world’s going to go mad.” And they did. I’m so glad. She has a ridiculous amount of views now, and she deserves it.

OTW: Have you had a similar feeling at any point? The age-old doubts of “I don’t know if this is right... is music for me?”

dodie: Definitely not with music. I don’t know, sometimes I’m like do I really want this as my career? Because I love it so much, and it’s always been that way with me. It’s tough when in interviews people ask, “What’s your hobby? What gives you joy?” And I just say, “music is my life.” I don’t know, but I always come back to “Well, why not?” It’s the perfect thing. 

If I can survive off of doing the thing I love most, then god, I’m so damn lucky. But, I think in terms of what musical career I want, I’m at a very nice place right now where I’m working on my personal project, which is my album and a lot of forthcoming things. But then I’m being hired to cover songs for TV shows, which is something else I really want to get into–like film and TV. I’m just very lucky, basically.

OTW: Any plans for an acting debut?

Dodie: Oh heck yeah! Actually, you know what, I want to be an actor. Acting actually was my number one. I didn’t think music could be a job, but luckily that happened. I was just like, “I’ll always have music in my life.” If I could write a song for an episode and then be in the episode, that would be great! Hire me!

OTW: I have to ask. What’s your tattoo?

dodie: Have you seen La La Land?

OTW: Of course.

dodie: This is a quote from La La Land. It’s the song Mia sings in her audition, called “The Fools Who Dream.” She sings, “A bit of madness is key.” It’s probably my favorite film of all time. It’s filled with music, color, and LA, and I love LA and all of its weirdness. Also, I feel like this quote, in particular, has a mental health meaning of whenever I feel really, really bad, I remind myself that I’ve used it, and I can use it again. It helps me in writing or being empathetic, so you need a little bit of this pain to keep going. Even though, when you’re really in it, you’re just like, “No, you don’t! I’d rather just not have it!”

OTW: Do you worry sometimes that people romanticize mental illness too much, especially when it comes to creating art? 

dodie: It is tough. I think about that a lot. I’ll start with the bad first, and then get into why I don’t believe that’s true. I can understand. You go online now, and everyone’s joking about mental health, anxiety, panic attacks, dissociating, and depression. It’s tough; it’s triggering. I think, growing up now, I would probably question my mental health, and I don’t know what that would have done to me.

However, in comparison to all the good that it’s made, that is so small. If you don’t have mental health problems, you might see that as a problem. In having mental health problems, you will know that making fun of the fucking shit that you feel is the only way you are going to get through. 

There’s so much good in gifting a purpose to your pain. Otherwise, what else are you supposed to do with it? Just fucking sit and carry it around? No! I think it’s great when people take what they have to have, because it’s so hard to get rid of, work through, process it, and make something good out of it. At least then, you’ve got something out of it. Especially when you’re in your worst moments, where you’re like, “What am I doing here? I don’t want this.” You have evidence to prove yourself and to everyone else that you have a purpose and that you can use whatever ails you for good.

OTW: What’s next for you musically?

dodie: I am trying to write an album. I’m really excited for whatever’s next. I don’t know when this whole body of work will come to fruition, cause I don’t have a lot of time but definitely some exciting things happening.

OTW: Who are your Ones To Watch?

dodie: Orla Gartland. She’s my good friend, one of the best damn singer-songwriters I know. Tessa Violet! She’s got a few years worth of songwriting and, let me tell you, they are bangers. I went on tour with KAWALA. They were great lads. Those are my Ones To Watch!

OTW: Any final words?

dodie: I’m thirsty, and I’m going to get a drink but not Kombucha. Those are my final words!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 14th July 2019 (Post Malone, Young Thug, Lizzo, Dave)

Top 10

This week, we actually have a new number-one, but I find it hard to be invested in “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello hitting the top after moving up one spot from last week, especially because their limelight will be taken back by Ed Sheeran next week with the No. 6 Collaborations Project, although again, Sheeran has ran himself into a corner if he wants an album bomb (None of his singles released between “BLOW” and “Antisocial” could have possibly charted in the UK). This is Mendes’ second UK #1, his first since “Stitches” in 2015, and Cabello’s second as well, her first since “Havana”. It shouldn’t matter, it’ll be Ed’s next week.

After eight weeks at #1 since its debut, “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber, a pretty pathetic song in my opinion but far from the worst on the project, is now down one spot to number-two. Once again, it’ll rebound, and if it doesn’t, there’ll be a Sheeran debut to replace both this and “Senorita” pretty quickly.

Oh, yeah, speaking of an Ed, “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid has surprisingly kept steady from its debut last week at number-three.

“Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi is up a single spot to number-four... why?

We also have our first and only top 10 debut, “Goodbyes” by Post Malone at number-five, featuring a verse from... Young Thug. I couldn’t tell you if this is Young Thug’s anything since his Wikipedia discography page is incredibly uncooperative, but this is Post Malone’s tenth UK Top 40 hit and seventh UK Top 10. We’ll talk more about it later, and I have some things to say about it to say the least.

“Crown” by Stormzy takes a two-space hit down to number-six.

Somehow, whilst now assisted by a (Pretty bad) remix with Young Thug and Mason Ramsey, the kid who yodelled in Walmart a couple years back, and a new animated music video about Area 51, “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas  X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus, etc. is still at number-seven for like the fourth week in a row. We’ll see if this is in freefall or not next week.

Oh, and “Cross Me” by Ed Sheeran featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock is down two spaces to number-eight. Whether this means it’ll rebound or be completely replaced by another Sheeran track like “Antisocial” or probably “Take Me Back to London”, again, we’ll find out next week.

“Wish You Well” by Sigala and Becky Hill isn’t moving at number-nine.

Finally, Mabel’s “Mad Love” has dipped down two spaces to #10 but I don’t think this is the end of this song, this can be a genuine summer smash; it fits all the requirements.

Climbers

We have a couple of climbers within the UK Top 40 but not many and none of these are even all that good. I mean, I’m not complaining about “Higher Love” by Kygo and Whitney Houston jumping up ten spaces to #26. Oh, yeah, and by not many I meant none at all, this is the only climber above five spaces in the entire UK Top 40.

Fallers

We have a lot more of these, though; in fact we have plenty here to talk about. “Kilos” by Bugzy Malone featuring Aitch is once again down ten spaces, this time to #40, so sadly Bugzy doesn’t get that summer hit he was expected to reach in terms of longevity but I’m sure a top 20 hit will look good down the line, and we should be thankful it didn’t drop out from the debut entirely, because honestly I expected it to. Elsewhere at #33, “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy (Yes, that’s how it’s been credited since release) is down seven spaces, nearing “Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys at #32, down eight spots from last week. Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is slowly making its way out now, down five to #23, with Drake’s “Money in the Grave” featuring Rick Ross doing the same, but prematurely at #22. Otherwise, yeah, there’s not much to speak of here, so let’s move on.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

There’s one drop out here that’s gone from the top 75 here and it’s unfortunate but seems to be because of streaming cuts, and it’s “Guten Tag” by Hardy Caprio and DigDat, out from #35 after nine weeks, but it had its run and never really exploded as much as it could have, but again, top 20 hit for a week, nobody’s complaining, The biggest fall otherwise is “If I Can’t Have You” by Shawn Mendes which probably also had that streaming cut in its tenth week, falling out from #19. Elsewhere, “Don’t Check on Me” by Chris Brown featuring Justin Bieber and Ink is out from the debut at #29, “Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer is finally out from #37 and the deplorable “Heaven” by the late Avicii featuring Chris Martin is out from #39. Oh, and “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man is out from #40 AGAIN. It’ll be back next week or in a couple of weeks, but its chart run has been pretty interesting to follow recently. There aren’t any returning entries, so let’s get straight to the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#37 – “Truth Hurts” – Lizzo

Produced by Ricky Reed and Tele – Peaked at #5 in New Zealand and #6 in the US

Our first two new arrivals are songs that are at least two years old and are just now charting for various reasons, and I’m just glad the UK Top 40 has no recurrent rule because there are some chart moments that could never happen in the US without Billboard getting a bit stingy and inconsistent about what’s allowed and what’s not. This song in particular was dropped in 2017 with a music video and didn’t exactly make waves, mostly because Lizzo wasn’t as known but she does well critically (And did at the time too with her two studio albums she abandoned once she blew up and the image changed), and it was never planned to be on an album. When the song was featured in a Netflix film, Something Great, it clicked with audiences, who would later use it as a TikTok meme because of course they did, and then it replaced “Juice” as the promoted single. Viral sleeper hits from years ago in your career breaking out in the midst of an album cycle is naturally pretty awkward. Anyways, this eventually debuted at #50 on the Hot 100 and became an unexpected massive worldwide smash for the rapper-singer, becoming a US Top 10 hit and now entering here in the UK charts, becoming her second UK Top 40 single after “Juice”. And now for the song itself, I’ll try and keep it brief because I don’t have much to say about it. My stance for now is that it’s pretty good, I like the gliding strings and synths that build up to a pretty fun drop, especially with Lizzo’s vocals and lyrics, which are about boy problems but in a way that’s very sassy and seems oddly personal, directed to someone from Detroit, who she replaced with someone on the Minnesota Vikings team. Some of these punchlines are pretty witty and especially well-delivered with her messy, off-key singing and constantly shifting flow, often with janky overlap between bars. The chorus is really catchy, like it’s not “Baby Shark” level infectious but it’s up there, especially with the little backing vocals accentuating the lyrics. I like the voice cracks in the second verse, and it demonstrates a point where I have an issue with the song, but that may be the point. For a song that seems so confident and full of braggadocio, everything around it wants you to think it’s a lot less stable, with synths that kind of just glide in, the off-key singing, and the badly-mixed trap percussion that’s especially noticeable when watching the video. That could be really clever as it shows the lyrics are mostly a front to cover how pained Lizzo is after this break-up, or maybe I’m completely over-thinking a trap-rap song about being “100% that b****”. Probably that one.

#36 – “Thiago Silva” – Dave and AJ Tracey

Produced by 169

Now, this is a less gradual rise to popularity. It was released all the way back in May 2016 by the two UK rappers who have later blown up and made separate names for themselves. It didn’t get much notice in the mainstream because of course it didn’t, it was 2016. British hip hop was only starting to get more chart presence, and the general public isn’t going to gravitate to two newcomers without an album out at the time, more likely a legacy artist who makes safer variations of grime and trap. Nevertheless, Dave and AJ Tracey are now pretty massive, so their collaborative single from three years ago was later certified Silver (No pun intended) in December of last year, and eventually charted because of a viral performance from Glastonbury 2019, where in the June festival, because AJ Tracey couldn’t make it, Dave called up a fan called Alex who knew all of the lyrics to recite them with Dave. He killed it, did an incredibly awkward interview on Good Morning Britain afterwards, and here we are, with Dave’s twelfth UK Top 40 hit and AJ Tracey’s sixth. I have no idea who Thiago Silva is or what his prominence is, but I know he’s a Brazillian footballer and that the song isn’t actually about Thiago Silva, it’s actually surprisingly generic coming from Dave, but you shouldn’t expect much substance from a grime track made for clubs, and he still has his typical puns that are almost so awful that they tread the line between being so bad it’s good and just circling back around to being awful again.

True say, I ain’t really a drinker / But I got love for brandy like Ray J

The beat is a re-work of influential grime group Ruff Sqwad’s song “Pied Piper”, and I always like when artists of a similar genre call upon some of the works that inspired them for samples... the instrumental takes that low-fidelity sample, add some bumping 808s and trading verses from Dave and AJ. AJ Tracey kills it, and you can tell he was perfectly prepared for “Ladbroke Grove” years later, because he knows how to flow on a grime beat, and actually sounds quite professional. You can’t really blame Dave since he’s very young at the time this was recorded and released, but his verses all suck here, his performance overall is often somewhat off-beat, and sounds really janky anyway, mostly because of how it’s mixed (Badly, if you couldn’t figure that out) and how Dave isn’t recognisable, he sounds like AJ a lot of the time and switches through a lot of different simple flows and cadences without ever keeping his character. The lyrical content is nothing to speak of either. I wish I liked this a lot more, to be honest, but it’s not bad at all.

#34 – “Castles” – Freya Ridings

Produced by Dan Nigro, Mark Crew, Dan Priddy and Yves Rothman – Peaked at #3 in Scotland

Remember Freya Ridings? I sure don’t, she’s boring and unrecognisable from a set of “genuine, down-to-earth” singers, and not just female singers; she’s very much from the same strand of bore as Lewis Capaldi. Her last two singles, including UK Top 10 hit “Lost Without You”, were pretty, I guess, and that’s the main reason I tend to give her a pass over Capaldi – her singles actually sound decently produced and competent, despite overly breathy singing and mostly consisting of a few piano notes and string loops. Her writing isn’t recognisable at all as I said and she doesn’t have a signature style, but she doesn’t need to be. Just deliver it well, and that’s all that should matter, but she’s not convincing. She’s also not everywhere like Capaldi, so I guess that explains my preference. Anyway, this is her second UK Top 40 hit and I don’t care. It’s cut from the same cloth as a lot of indie-rock, which I’m surprised by, but it lacks any weight and gut, it feels like it doesn’t have much grandiosity in its production as a build-up until that chorus comes in, and to be fair to her and her writers, it’s a pretty incredible chorus. I feel like Ridings’ vocals aren’t mixed all too well, they’re a bit quiet until they become multi-tracked in the pre-chorus. That’s enough complaining though, because honestly this is a pretty good song. The use of Ridings’ vocal runs as a synth that goes from the left to right channel in the post-chorus is inspired, the addition of the children’s choir is nonsensical but as a kiss-off that is not grounded at all, hell, I’d be surprised if Freya Ridings literally didn’t build a castle out of this guy’s love, or whatever she’s saying, she has a bit of indie girl enunciation syndrome. Overall, it takes a while to get going and there a couple of nitpicks but this is pretty above average at least and it might grow on me.

#20 – “Home P***y” – D-Block Europe

Produced by Pro Beats

These guys suck. Young Adz and Dirtbike LB, because, yes, those are their names, are pretty painfully bad singers covered in cheap auto-tune with bland trap or Afroswing beats leased off of YouTube, and have a name as a collective that they’ll probably have to legally change after Article 50 kicks in. I don’t hate these people directly, obviously, but their music bothers me mostly because British hip hop is peaking right now in critical acclaim and popularity, and there’s a bunch of these no-names like B Young and Aitch taking advantage of that. Aitch has charisma and unwarranted enthusiasm, B Young is an awful songwriter and is unintentionally pretty hilarious because of that... so what do these dudes have? Anyway, this is their third UK Top 40 hit (Second UK Top 20) and I feel like I should explain the name first, and that’s because this song is about getting all types of girls as you’re on the road touring, but the sex from your girlfriend, or alternatively, from people in your hometown, keeps you “safe”. That’s kind of creepy and also kind of... sweet(?), but who cares? This is trash appealing to the lowest common denominator with barely any thought put into it that’ll be out of the charts in four weeks and that’s being generous. What’s funny enough here to mock then? Well, they start the song with “This ain’t no love song, this is a thug song”, in a childish inflection with a lot of reverb as if it’s some kind of dramatic profound quote, before he makes an incoherent noise and the producer tag shows up, and it’s one of those tags you can get for cheap, I imagine, it’s that robotic female voice you hear on a lot of no-name producer tags. The way Young Adz says anything is in a very childish manner, so it’s always really odd when he says he’s got hitters, or just the words “home p***y” in general. It fits when he’s shouting “skrrt skrrt” ad-libs over the whole track, because his multi-tracked vocals clip and there are no dynamics here at all. Dirtbike LB gives up his rhyme scheme with an Auto-Tuned moan two bars into his verse. Here are some stupid lyrics.

This the last time but not the last time like befooooooooooore

Is that a sentence?

Talkin’ on the net, you’ve got a voice now?

Why are you angry? It’s a sex song about people you trust, why would you go off on women you don’t trust? This is a pretty toxic attitude to have too, that people can’t speak up about relationships after they’ve ended because they stayed quiet and subservient throughout, and that’s not just women, that can be anyone in a relationship.

I hate your friends, I think they’re fake, I hope they all down

Oh, Jesus, okay, well, on that note, I’ve got to stop talking smack about Young Adz.

#11 – “So High” – MIST and Fredo

Produced by Preditah

Okay, this is another trading-bars cut from two British rappers that are very similar musically and in terms of media personality, image, popularity/status and everything else. Essentially, this is our third twin-rap cut that debuted in the Top 40 today, and it’s MIST’s second UK Top 40, first Top 20 and highest-peaking song ever, as well as Fredo’s sixth UK Top 40 and third Top 20. I’m not expecting this to be anything good but I am expecting it to be much more professional in comparison to our last song, and I’m really not surprised that I have next to nothing to say about this song, like at all. It’s not bad, and I love how Fredo flips Fred Gibson’s “Fred again” producer tag in his voice, with the vocal sample acting as the refrain being actually pretty crisp, but MIST is kind of off-beat and the lyrical content is really uninteresting, it’s about treating a woman right but still being a boss or whatever, I don’t know, it feels very much like an early-mid 2000s rap/R&B fusion. I don’t care, though, because I can’t tell MIST and Fredo from each other and wow, this write-up is short.

#5 – “Goodbyes” – Post Malone featuring Young Thug

Produced by Brian Lee and Louis Bell – Peaked at #1 in Belgium and #3 in the US

This is the new surprise smash single from Post Malone, “Goodbyes”, and I said on Twitter the day this was released that it was exactly what I expected from Post as I follow his career path, becoming less of a trap-R&B crooner and much more of a massive pop star who incorporates a lot of hip-hop flows into his brand of depressing, alcohol-induced bouts of strained vocal performances, as well as trap percussion into his often kind of bubblegum pop hits. He hasn’t walked too far away from trap yet, so I think this is where he takes himself away from the SoundCloud rap scene he burst out from, as he uses somewhat of a rap flow in the verses but it is definitely infused with melodic inflections and some syllable-stuttering that reminds me of an awful emo-pop or pop punk song that Post probably would have been into.

Me and Kurt feel the same / Too much pleasure is pain

Yeah, emo-rap guys tend to cite Kurt Cobain although I see more resemblance in Sum 41 than I do Nirvana or any grunge band for that matter. “Need to take off the e-e-edge,” “I’m addic—I’m addicted to you”, it’s one in the same. Anyway, after an unnecessary bout of silence, the song starts with some wavy, dreamy synths, before Post comes in with that “rap” flow that sounds great in that raspy voice he can put on, but that pre-chorus that slowly quiets down and drifts off at the end of each line is perfect as it shows a muddled mindset when a break-up happens, and that’s why some of the lyrics here are janky or even toxic, it’s the initial jerk reaction and all of the awful flaws that Post can think of are coming up at once because he’s confused and just wants this woman out as soon as possible so he doesn’t do something on impulse that can be dangerous, and he knows that he’s not in a place where he’s safe and he could hurt someone, he’s mentally unstable, and is almost scared for the girl he’s breaking up with, which is all heavily implied by the chorus, which by the way when that hi-hat kicks in and later the sub-bass with the contrasting synth melody, oh, man, that’s great. The drop is effective too, and I love how Post flip-flops tonally, from the silly e-e-edge refrains to precision f-strikes in such a way that is as messy as the relationship. God, and then Thugger comes in. Now, I thought he was jarring at first but after having this in rotation, oh my God, this verse is incredible. Thugger’s verse is more generic about these struggles and uses some... questionable language about slicing and dicing this woman, but those first two lines are perfect.

I want you out of my life / I want you back here tonight

It demonstrates greatly in an almost bipolar fashion how unstable this relationship and by extension, Post himself, is in this song, and pretty much sums the whole song up. Then Thugger starts belting about not wanting her to turn the TV off because he’s watching a fight, because, he’s Young Thug. The way he just yells all this mundane problems he has with this woman is cathartic in a way I didn’t initially expect it to be, and it’s actually really powerful, especially that last “YEA YEA YEAH”. It’s a bit dodgy structure-wise, though, and the mixing is actually pretty awful, with the trap percussion sounding quite cheap, Post’s wailing sometimes being overproduced, the clipping on nearly every instrument here showing how rushed it was and it’s essentially unfinished mixing and mastering-wise, but God this is a perfect song otherwise. I love this, I hope it gets a remix but when everything’s peaking in the mix, honestly, it might just add to the power of the lyrics. I’ll be talking about this more in my best list, I’ll elaborate then.

Conclusion

It should be pretty obvious that Best of the Week is going to Post Malone and Young Thug for “Goodbyes”, with Honourable Mention being Freya Ridings’ this week for “Castles”. I know, I’m surprised too, but it’s slim pickings and while I think “Truth Hurts” is probably a better song, I want to shout out the lesser-known song. My goal here is to talk about British pop music critically because there’s not many people who do as regularly as I do, and honestly I’ll be biased to British artists due to this. Lizzo is still cool though. Worst of the Week goes to D-Block Europe for “Home P***y”, with Dishonourable Mention going to... okay, well, there’s none this week and the Honourable Mention is tied with Lizzo for “Truth Hurts”. I forgot most of this stuff was just kind of okay. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!