#i have not had coffee yet today

[daffythefox]

i feel like people say "abuse is always intentional and a choice" because it helps them believe that they haven't and will never abuse someone so long as they believe abuse is wrong.

Do you think every abuser woke up and thought "today I will abuse someone on purpose"? Probably some of them, but not all. Some abusers genuinely think that abuse is just how relationships work. Sometimes kids abuse other kids before they grow up and realize what they did was fucked.

If you decide that abuse means "person intentionally abusing another", what about people who were abused by people who weren't intentionally abusing them? Is that not real abuse?

I'm not saying that you shouldn't be angry at your abuser. I think you should be angry at whoever you want to be angry at. But I think looking back at your actions and checking "was what I did okay? how did my actions impact the people I love?" is very important, especially for people with NPD, where having issues understanding how your actions impact others is a symptom.

Having NPD makes forming and maintaining healthy relationships way harder. I would know. It's also way harder to control emotional outbursts while you're having one (and emotional permanence issues mean once you stop having one, it's hard to imagine what it felt like).

Introspection about why you did the things you did, if/how you hurt someone you care about, trying to make it up to them, and minimizing the chances that it will happen again, are very important. In "npd abuse" spaces, this introspection is usually shut down by "well, if you think you might be a narcissist, you're not one". But I think this introspection can be very helpful, so long as the introspection doesn't begin and end with guilt/shame.

[silvershoe]

wow i have no self discipline. i dont know if i ever did its been like actually a life long issue its kind of miraculous i'm in college and got straight a's in high school because i really did the bare minimum to get those a's and now im at a school thats actually like pretty difficult in comparison and i have to actually work to understand the material and when i actually do the readings and spend time doing my homework i feel really fulfilled and happy about being at an academically rigorous institution but then the second i have to write an essay i dont want to write everything goes out the window and i end up rotting in bed on animal crossing pocket camp instead of doing the things i dont want to do. how do i force myself to do things when my brainwall against things i dont want to do is like 100 feet thick

[cosmogyros]

Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.

[captainimprobable]

God. Working again actually feels so good. At my last job I wasn't doing anything for anyone, it was pointless busywork. Now I feel like I'm doing something for people which is so nice! I know I'm just a barista, but at the beginning of the pandemic baristas were a bright spot for me, and I made so many people smile today! And a few of them thanked me for spelling their names right, which was nice! And I was keeping busy! I wasnt sitting on my ass! Sure, a part of me wishes I was, but it's just kinda nice to feel like my day wasn't wasted.

If this job paid me a livable wage I would genuinely be so so so happy.

[guinevereslancelot]

most fucked up thing about the body's response to not eating is when you're so hungry you feel like you're gonna throw up. this does not make it easier to eat food actually

[tj-crochets]

So the broken pipe situation is mostly fixed, but until my asthma stops being on such a hair trigger I'm not going downstairs unless I am wearing an N95 mask, and even then limiting my time down there, so I've been spending a lot of time in my craft room/work from home office. Y'all, I have gotten so much done it's a little ridiculous. Today so far I have: - sewn together batting to make a piece big enough for a baby quilt - quilted the baby quilt - trimmed it down to size and added the binding - washed the baby quilt - did some unpacking - found a skein of yarn in a box I was unpacking, got distracted, and knit an entire hat - cut out all the pieces for a pride bee for one of my 2022 MTH auction winners and got most of the seams sewn (only two machine sewn seams left, then it's just stuffing it and handsewing on the eyes, wings, and antennae) - tackled some of my scrap batting pile, getting it sorted into "large pieces to sew together to use in quilts", "this one rolled up piece that is somehow the perfect size for the coasters my friend wants", "pieces to cut 2.5 inch strips out of for future baskets", and crumbs, then diced up the crumbs into smaller confetti to use as pillow or stuffed animal stuffing later

[the-kipsabian]

him.... 🥺🥺

[knightlysoulsnatcher]

hiding in the bathroom and it’s really nice to not be stared at bc holy shit

[naomiknight-17]

Y'all

This performance is fire and all but it is 9 AM I am not ready for this level of energy what are these people on

[sluttyten]

I still have 5 hours left in my shift 😭😭😭

[1ovestay]

why the fuck did someone rb my vent post abt my grandma dying and me doing extremely poorly rn like i know i talked about all that in the tags but read the fucking room?

[bibleofficial]

cane swag … shouldn’t be using it bc my dr said i need to wait but i’m inpatient but also i’m now realizing i need that like 4-point base instead of the stick bc i just REQUIRE that EXTRA stability

[lilyaceofdiamonds]

I really hate how much my brain hates to do new things sometimes

[teeniestjojokitten]

eyeing up the posts in my drafts for different fandoms.... teehee.

[pandaspwnz]

started new meds Saturday for my newly diagnosed ADHD (woo!) and they are absolutely KICKING my whole ass. It's been some of the worst brain fog of my life and I'm getting SO tired that I'm barely hanging on. I know it takes a while for you to adjust to new meds, like when I started Duloxetine and every time we adjusted my dosage I'd basically just sleep for a whole week, so hopefully this part goes away!!! but right now it is prime AAAAAAAAAA!!