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nialledfromfics · 4 years

Text

nothing (except for your love)

a part two oneshot to Summer Camp

pairing: Niall/ofc

word count: 27,192

warnings: sexually explicit content; nsfw; 18+ only please

what holds me when I’m alone, what makes the tiger tame

what turns the sky from black to gold, what sends my tears up in flames.

The last time she had been back in her hometown was nearly four years ago. It was the summer before she had started college, Cat spending her last four weeks as a camp counselor. It was the best fucking summer of her life. The summer she met Niall Horan.

She had to admit that it was slightly weird being back at her parents house, in her old bedroom. Walls haphazardly covered with posters of The Strokes and Evanescence, half-burnt candles still sitting on her nightstand and her faded yellow daisy comforter neatly tucked into her bed. It looked just as it did the day she left for college, and oddly enough, that made her feel somewhat comforting. Like it was welcoming her home with open arms. At least that's what Cat told herself. Reality of the matter was, the job that she had lined up after graduating college, the same one that she had studied her butt off for, didn’t pan out like she had hoped and left her jobless and up to her eyeballs in student loans and questioning everything she had worked so hard for up until that point.

Her parents, of course, were beyond ecstatic to have her back home, in her old neighborhood, in her old city. And Cat was happy to be back too, she missed being around her family; her mother, always the one to make sure she was eating well and not surviving off of pizza rolls and Poptarts, her dad, always there when she needed advice or just to lend an ear and her little sister, Katrina, always ready to gossip and bicker at the drop of a hat, like nothing had changed. She was happy to be home, but a part of her wondered if it was just a huge step back for her. That she could have just stayed where she was and made the best of her situation instead of, as she looked at it, crawled back to her parents for help.

The thought left a sour taste in her mouth.

But she figured that the only thing she could do at that point was to make the best of her current situation. She was back in the city she grew up in, back in her old room and following the next morning, hopefully back to work.

•

It was a Friday. Cat woke up bright and early, turning over in her squeaky-framed bed to tap away at the alarm going off on her phone. She grumbled, stretching under the sheets as she rubbed away at the sleep that had consumed her eyes. The rising sun had just started to peek through her curtains and she could already smell the aroma of coffee floating through the air, readily filling her nose. It was her dad. She picked up her phone to glance at the time, needing some convincing, before forcing herself up as she knew her interview was in just a couple short hours. Hopping in the shower, Cat put on the appropriate pressed black pant suit and a pair of beige heels and made sure her hair and makeup were done accordingly before she finally made her way out to the kitchen to grab a much needed cup of that coffee.

“Morning, Dad,” she greeted her father who had just finished packing up his lunch for the day.

He looked over at his daughter and gave her a smile. “Good morning, doll.” Cat opened the cabinet and took out a mug, helping herself to the pot of warm coffee. “Don’t you look all dressed up today,” her father then mentioned.

Spinning around to face him as she took a long sip of her hot beverage, Cat nodded her head. “I have that interview this morning, remember? For that company downtown, Stomon Tech? It’s at 9:30.”

“Oh right, right,” he stumbled, “you wasted no time, did ya?”

Cat pressed her lips in a tight line and raised her brows. “Not home for a vacation, Dad, I gotta have a job. I still have bills to pay.”

He nodded, grabbing his lunch pail and keys off of the counter. “Alright, kiddo, well, good luck and I will see you later. I think Mom is making cacciatore for dinner tonight.”

Smiling as her father stepped over to kiss her cheek, Cat rubbed his shoulder before he turned to walk towards the front door. “Have a good day at work, Dad.”

•

Her wide eyes scanned up the towering glass-paneled front of the 24-story building as she sucked in a steadying breath in an effort to appease the nerves that were creeping under her skin. Interviews always made her overly anxious. Would she say the right thing, what they wanted to hear? Were her credentials enough? Did she look and dress the part? Cat let out a tiny groan, annoyed with herself as she forced her feet to move, climbing up the front steps and into the building.

The Stomon Tech company took up two floors of the massive office building, floors 23 and 24 respectively, and the young woman followed behind a few others that were filing into one of the open elevators. She knew she had to go to the very top floor, as that was where the person she had conversed with instructed her to go, so she watched with bated breath as the numbered buttons slowly lit up one by one as they passed. It seemed like they had stopped at each floor, a good five minutes of people getting on and off, before she finally made it to where she was supposed to be.

The doors slid open with a ding and she was immediately met with a huge reception area; gorgeous marbled-tiled floors, partitioned walls made of beveled glass and ultra-contemporary light fixtures hanging from the ceiling, all topped off with a stunningly perfect blonde sitting behind a large curved desk that was straight ahead. There was a big sign above the girl’s head that read Stomon Tech Limited, seemingly carved out of a silvery metal. The place was very modern and shiny, very clean and Cat politely smiled as she walked up to the front desk. The blonde peered up at her, a timid grin on her dark painted lips. “Welcome to Stomon Tech, how can I help you?” she asked.

Cat cleared her throat and placed a hand on the chest-high counter in front of her. She squeezed hard around the edge, hoping it would tame the shaking in her fingers. “Hi, uh, my name is Catherine Williams and I have an interview at 9:30.”

Tapping at the keyboard of her computer, the receptionist read over her screen before she looked back up at Cat with a tight, but friendlier, smile. “If you want to find a seat right over there,” she instructed, pointing just over Cat’s shoulder to a small reception area, “someone will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you.”

Holding her folder of paperwork to her chest, Cat walked over and sat down in one of the chairs, planning to use the extra time to give everything she had brought with her one last check. She had her folder spread out across her knees, quietly scanning through the papers one by one, making sure nothing was amiss. A few minutes had gone by when she heard the ding of the elevator doors open next to her, and she glanced up just as a dark haired man in a suit hurriedly walked by. She paid him no mind and looked back down at her lap, her focus on the remaining paperwork she was going over. Cat bit at her lip as a few muddled whispers between the receptionist and the man floated through the air of the lobby, and she furrowed her brows to concentrate, mouthing the words as she read over the bottom page of her resume.

“Cat?”

Her lips stopped moving, her fingertip halting on the paper in front of her. How did that person know her nickname? And why did his voice sound so familiar? Slowly sliding her stare up, from the expensive black oxfords to the perfectly pressed grey suit to the crisp white button up that was left slightly open at the base of his neck, Cat’s breath stalled in her throat as her eyes finally met his. As blue as the salty ocean’s waves, cool and sticking to your skin, her heart nearly skipped a solid beat when he smirked, and then it hit her. Oh my God. “Niall?”

Narrowing her eyes, she moved her folder from her lap onto the chair as she stood up. Her mouth hanging open slightly as she dragged her stare across his features, his smile getting wider the closer she slowly shuffled over to him. His hair was dark, no longer that bleached out blond that she had remembered of him, and it was cut shorter, styled much better, delicately swept over to the side with little pieces hanging just across his forehead. It looked soft and inviting, pretty if she had to give it an adjective, and the corners of her mouth began to tug into a smile. He was older than her mind was letting her remember him, more refined and his body definitely more defined, at least what she could tell under his extremely well-fitted suit, and he had a thick dark stubble lining his jaw.

She pushed out a huff as she stepped closer to him and before she could say hello, even mutter a coherent word, he had wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her into a hug. Cat’s eyes fluttered as she buried her nose against his shoulder, inhaling slightly as her hands gently cradled his upper back. He smelled good. Really good. Nothing like the boy sweat and sunscreen that she remembered, but fresh and clean, like a soft floral mint with a subtle hint of cedar. She rolled her eyes at herself for dissecting the man’s cologne as Niall eased himself from the embrace. “Hi, Niall,” Cat finally greeted him, tucking some hair behind her ear.

“Shit,” Niall huffed, his blue eyes noticeably spanning down Cat’s frame. She looked older too, polished and put together in her fitted dark pantsuit. Her hair was longer than he had remembered, a natural wave adorning the strands and her skin looked softer too, well taken care of and Niall immediately found himself struggling with wanting his hands on her. She looked beautiful, more beautiful than when Niall had seen her last. And he thought that would have been hard to top. She was a hot, fiery little thing at 18 when he had first met her, but now–Niall licked across his lips as his gaze met hers again–now she was a woman, and she was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. He stuffed his hands down into the front pockets of his trousers. “It’s been, what….four years?”

Cat nodded. “Yeah...it’s, um, it’s been awhile.”

“How are ya?” he asked her, his head tipping slightly as he kept his stare on hers, “I thought you lived in...Denver, was it? At least that’s where ya were going the last time we spoke.”

“Yeah, I was living there,” she told him, “that's where I went to college. And I stayed there after I graduated but the job I had...it wasn’t-...well, it just wasn’t working out. So I moved back here, back in with my parents.” Cat scraped her teeth across her bottom lip, wanting to scream at herself for telling him that last bit.

But he just smiled at her. “You’re parents live here?”

“Yup, over on the Eastside,” she said, Niall nodding as Cat went on, wrinkling her brows. “Do you...work here too? I’m here for an interview.”

Niall huffed out a chuckle and bowed his head as he rubbed over his chin with his fingers. “Uh, actually,” he started, looking back up at her, “its-...this is my company.”

Cat’s stare went big, her tongue stumbling over her words. She totally just made a fool out of herself. “Oh...oh God,” she mumbled, Niall highly amused as he peered at her with those dreamy hooded blue eyes of his. Bedroom eyes as Cat liked to remember them, and he knew it. She cleared her throat. “Um, wow, uh...are you interviewing me?” Her brows pulled in as she pointed at herself.

He chuckled again, waving a hand in front of himself. “No, no, that would be Elena in HR. Probably would be a bit unfair if I were to interview ya. I’d be a little too biased.”

Cat breathed out a smile and lowered her stare. Her gaze dotted across the silver-speckled tile that rested below her feet. “Yeah, I guess that would be a conflict of interest.”

Bellowing out a hearty laugh, the reminiscent sound bounced off the glass walls around them and caused Cat to glance up at him. In that moment, with the crinkles forming by his eyes and that soft dimple pressing into his left cheek, he looked exactly like he had four years prior. It made her smile. Niall yanked his hand from his pocket to check his watch. “Shit, um, I really hate to cut this short, Cat,” he began as he met her gaze again, “unfortunately, I’ve got an important meeting startin’ in just a couple minutes, but, um…”

Niall paused, licking over his lips as his brows pulled in. “We should meet up for drinks tonight.”

His offer caught her off guard, and she stuttered a little before being able to pull herself together. “Uh...yeah, yeah...sure.”

“Great,” Niall concluded, the edges of his mouth tugging up, “my secretary will get your number from your file and I’ll give ya a ring.” Cat nodded. “Good luck in there!”

“Thank you.”

Niall had already started to walk past the front desk and down the hallway, Cat having just made it back to the chair she had been sitting in. She reached down to pick up her folder when he stopped in his tracks. “Hey, kitty cat?”

The sound of his husky voice and that gritty accent, calling her that very thing that only he called her, that very thing she hadn’t heard in four years, caused her entire body to tense up and an instant warmth to pool in her belly. She slowly turned to face him and he cocked his head back, rolling his tongue in his mouth. “You look really fuckin’ good, by the way.”

Giving her a wink, no other words were shared between them as he stepped away and disappeared around the corner. Cat couldn’t help but smile. That was the Niall she remembered.

•

She received a call from Niall a few hours later, inviting her out that evening to a pretty popular bar downtown. Cat, who was already back at her house and into her sweatpants, agreed to meet him there around 9, as that was when Niall said he’d be through with work. She didn’t have much expectations for the night, and she wasn’t trying to encourage any expectations either, far be it to be honest, but she thought that for the sake of going out to a rather upscale place, that she would dress up a bit more than usual. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had dressed up, or even went out to a nice bar for that matter.

As Cat sat on the bus, the bright neon lights of the busy city nightlife zipping past the window, she glanced down at her lap. For a moment she was questioning what she was wearing; a short blue dress that was low and tight across her chest but flowy around her hips, one that she had bought a year or so back for a friend’s wedding, and a pair of strappy black heels. Maybe, she thought, she had dressed up too much, maybe it would give him the wrong impression. The impression that she wanted anything to do with him.

Sighing lightly under her breath, Cat turned her head and stared out of the smudged window next to her. It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about Niall all those years, it wasn’t that she hadn’t hoped that what they had had that summer could have been more than what it was at the time, or that they could have reconnected at some point, she had very much thought of all of that, many times over the course of her first year in college. But with four years passing since then, she was older, wiser, time had changed and so had she. Her biggest fear was that Niall hadn’t. And while that little piece of her hoped to cling onto that old Niall that set her world ablaze that one amazing summer, another part of her, a bigger part, hoped that he had also grown up and matured, that he had moved on from his womanizing ways.

Maybe that hope was too big of a stretch.

Cat arrived at the bar a little before their intended meet time and she wondered, as she stepped through the large baroque doors, how long she would be waiting there for him to show up. There was a hostess standing just off to the side behind a sleek black marble counter and she smiled as Cat bounced her stare around the incredibly posh looking space. “Welcome, do you have a reservation?”

Cat looked over at the hostess, smiling politely as she walked towards where she was standing. “No, no reservation...um, I’m actually meeting someone...I’m not sure if they are here yet…”

“Niall Horan?”

Wrinkling her brows slightly, Cat pulled her face in. “Yes, actually…” she chuckled.

The young woman smiled. “Right this way.”

Hugging the sweater she had brought with her to her chest, Cat followed the hostess through the swanky bar, weaving around high top tables and other equally as dressed up patrons before they came to a large booth tucked in the back corner. Her eyes met his the second the hostess stepped away, and Cat just stood there by the edge of the half-moon table, quiet and trying with all her might to stop the rattling in her chest. He was the only man that had ever made her feel that way with one single glance, even when she didn’t want it. Niall was slumped back in the booth, his suit jacket now off and folded next to him on the seat and his crisp white shirt unbuttoned even further, showing off that gorgeously dark smattering of chest hair and a simple gold chain, finished with a tiny round pendant hanging from it. Cat hadn’t noticed it before, but thought that it suited him well.

She swallowed hard as her eyes flowed down the length of his arms, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his toned forearms and that very expensive watch that was strapped to his wrist. Cat looked back up at his face. He smirked at her, his brow rising just enough beneath those few strands of dark hair that laid across his forehead that it made the air catch like glue in her throat. All she could do was smile. “Hey,” she said, barely over a whisper.

“Hi,” Niall responded, nodding towards his left, instructing her to join him into the crescent shaped booth. She willingly obliged and slid herself in next to him. Not even meaning to, she pulled in a deep breath as their bodies moved closer, instinctually needing to smell him. She wasn’t disappointed. “You look incredible, Cat.”

Tucking her face down in a slightly sheepish smile, the girl combed some hair behind her ear and plunked her elbow onto the table, peering over at him. “You didn’t change,” she mentioned.

Niall peeked down with a chuckle, using his fingers to pluck at the semi-opened button up adorning his upper half. “What, ya sayin’ I don’t look nice?”

“I didn’t say that,” Cat said, biting at her lip.

Tapping his fingers on the nearly empty glass that was wrapped in his one hand, Niall raised his brows. “Would ya like a drink?”

“Yeah,” Cat replied with a slight inhale, sitting back in the booth, “beer’s fine.”

“Oh, ya like beer, huh?”

She shrugged. “I’m a simple girl, doesn’t take much to impress me.”

“Shit, coulda fooled me,” he scoffed with a short chuckle. Cat just stared at him, a tiny roll of her eyes caught by Niall and he smirked. “Beer it is then.”

Niall ordered them both a couple beers, and then a few more. Over the next hour and a half, they immersed themselves in light conversation, keeping the subjects superficial and easy flowing. They talked about what they had accomplished in school and work, where they had been living, a little friendly banter mixed in between until the effects of the alcohol had started to create a bit of tempestuous buzz in their heads. It wasn’t long before the vibe had shifted, their body language and their small talk becoming more relaxed and comfortable. Cat felt like maybe Niall had changed more than she had assumed, he was very polite and engaging, super sweet and had yet to make any crude remark.

Though the night was still young.

“I guess, I should thank you for the job, by the way,” Cat stated, taking a sip of her beer. Her eyes were locked on Niall’s over the rim of the frosted glass.

He was leaned back, his one arm slung behind Cat along the back edge of the booth and he casually smirked. “Why do ya say that?”

Cat rolled her eyes. “I know it was you, Niall. I hadn't even gotten back to my car yet, by the time they called me and offered me the job.”

Niall brought his pint to his mouth, tipping his head back as he took a long, quiet and very telling, sip. Licking the remnants off his lips, he set the glass back onto the wooden table, twirling it around in the wet ring of built up condensation. “That was all you, Cat, must’ve had a really good interview.”

“Right…”

He laughed. “Listen, you ain’t gettin’ nothin’ outta me.”

Cat bowed her head in a giggle, and swept her hair behind her ear as she looked over at him. “Fine,” she said softly, “but thank you, really. I’ve not had the easiest time, so...it does mean a lot to me.”

Niall’s blue eyes fanned over her face and he gave her a sincere smile, one that she knew all too well, and nodded. “Guess that means we’re gonna be hangin’ out a lot more now,” he joked as he pulled in a deep breath.

Cat rested back into the booth, folding her hands on top of her crossed legs. “Are we gonna be work buddies?” she asked him with a playful grin. Niall glanced down, noticing her dress had ridden up a tad on her thigh. She used her fingers to straighten the material, her stare never faltering off his face and he peeked back up at her.

The corner of his mouth tugged up slightly, and Cat felt the faintest of tickle at the back of her neck, as if someone was very delicately playing with the ends of her hair. It caused a shiver to splay across her skin. “I’m not talkin’ ‘bout work buddies,” Niall finally said, his voice low and heavy in his throat, inducing a familiar clamping of Cat’s thighs at the sound.

She inhaled sharp and lightly shook her head. “Mmm...I figured you weren’t.”

“So…”

Slipping her gaze from his, Cat glanced at the half drank pint that rested in front of her. She watched the tiny bubbles glide up the side of the glass. Her tummy was flipping in on itself, her heartbeat picking up as each second passed and she breathed out a sigh, hoping to create some calm within the obnoxious chaos going on inside her. “Look, Niall, I know what you’re hinting at and I just, um,..I want you to know that-...” Cat paused and scraped her teeth across her bottom lip as she slowly brought her eyes back to his. “I, um...I have a boyfriend.”

His brows furrowed, his hand reluctantly inching back from its close proximity to her shoulder. “You do?”

Cat nodded. “Yeah, he still lives back in Denver...but, yeah.”

Shifting himself to face her, Niall tipped his head as he lifted his arm from behind Cat and rubbed across his bearded chin. “Well, it can’t be that serious,” he mumbled.

“Why do you say that?” she asked him with wrinkled brows.

“ ‘cause he’s in Denver and you’re here,” he explained with a shrug.

“I-,” Cat paused and shook her head, her lips falling to a part, “its long distance…”

“It won’t work out.”

She was the one to turn her body to face him this time, her brows pulling in even more. Cat hooked her arms across her chest in slight annoyance. “You don’t know that,” she spit out to him.

Niall scoffed lightly, dropping his stare to his lap as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Well, I do know that if you were my girl,” he began, catching her stare. His eyes looked dark, seedy in the low lights of the bar. “I would not be able to go more than one fuckin’ day without ya.”

A heavy breath hilted in the back of her throat at his words, Cat staying quiet as Niall reached out and grabbed his pint from the table, taking a sip of his beer. Peering down, Cat slowly unfolded her arms from her chest and pressed her palms across her thighs. She chewed at a piece of dry skin from the edge of her lip before looking back up at Niall. “Maybe it won’t,” she admitted with a shrug of her shoulder, “but that’s where I’m at right now.”

Niall shook his head, pulling a breath in between clenched teeth as he set his beer back down on the table. “It won’t. Trust me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Enough about me. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

Niall pushed out a snort. “No...I don’t.”

“And why not?” Cat asked him, shifting her eyes over his features. He was so handsome, it made her insides ache. His dark eyelashes, that perfect nose...his soft, pink lips. She wondered, for a single moment, what it would feel like to kiss him again. To have his mouth pressed to hers, swallowing his breath, tasting his tongue. Then she wondered what the hell was she thinking.

Noticing her stare on his mouth, Niall tucked his lips in and cocked his head back. Her eyes landed on his once more. “Just don’t do serious relationships, ya know?”

“That sounds about right,” Cat muttered under her breath. “Can I ask you something, Niall?”

He lifted a brow in amusement. “Sure, petal, isn’t that what we’re doin’ here?”

“Yes, smart ass,” she replied sharply. Niall pushed out a laugh, taking another long sip of his beer. “Whatever happened with you and Sarah? You know the girl from camp? I mean, I’m only asking ‘cause I never went back and I’m...kinda curious.”

Niall narrowed his eyes a bit and a smirk began to curl at the corner of his mouth. “Are ya askin’ me if I slept with her?”

She tilted her head. “In a less intrusive way, I guess...yeah.”

With his hooded eyes darting over hers, Niall stayed quiet for a minute, almost as if he was trying to read what Cat was thinking. If only he could ever get a clear read on that girl. The one person he was never able to, and that frustrated him. She pulled in a shaky breath, moving her gaze away from his as it became almost too intimidating for her. “Do ya really wanna know?” he then asked her.

She nodded and Niall straightened his body, leaning forward to rest his forearms across the edge of the table. His chin bumped at the peak of his shoulder as he looked back over at her. “I did end up fuckin’ her,” Niall went on, pausing to lick across his lips. “That next summer, actually.”

Cat bit at her lip, a tiny pang settling in the pit of her stomach and she reached out to grab her beer, throwing back a big gulp. She didn’t like the way his words were making her feel. “I thought, um...I thought you didn’t like her.”

“I didn’t,” Niall spit out, lifting his shoulder, “but...you weren't there.”

Shooting her stare back to his as she put her glass back down, she watched as a soft smile etched over his lips, nearly hidden behind the round of his shoulder. Cat cleared her throat. “I know,” she started, taking in a deep breath, “I really wanted to come back, I know I had told you the summer before I left that I would, but then I got this internship in Denver that I just couldn’t pass up, so I...just decided to stay–”

His mouth turned down at the corners and he faintly shook his head. “It’s okay, Cat. I understand,” Niall told her, slumping back into the booth again. “It was my last summer there, and I dunno, I guess I got bored. She was shit, anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.”

Cat’s eyes went big at his statement and she threw a hand to her mouth to stifle her laugh. Niall, on the other hand, freely belted out. The sound, still reminiscent of years before, made her laugh even harder. “I missed you that summer,” Niall then sighed out.

“That’s surprising,” Cat chuckled.

Niall wrinkled his brows. “Why’s that?”

“Because I’m sure you had a swarm of girls all over you,” she explained, gesticulating as she spoke, “like you always do. Like I’m sure you still do.”

He cocked his head back as his stare stayed on her. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t think about ya, Cat,” he said, lifting his shoulder in a shrug, “or that I didn’t miss ya.”

Cat darted her eyes over his as an awkward quiet had settled between them. She really didn’t know what to say to that declaration of honesty coming from him, so she just picked her pint up off the table and silently guzzled back the rest of her beer. “You want another?” Niall asked her, pointing to her empty glass as she wiped across her lips. She glanced at it before looking back over at him, a smirk forming on his mouth. “Or should we just go back to my place…”

Cat chuckled as she set her glass down. “Nice.”

“What?” he laughed.

“I’m not going home with you.”

Shifting his body closer, Niall inched his face in right up next to hers, her heart surging as she felt the heat of his breath on her jaw. She struggled with wanting to move away, with not wanting to move away, with letting her eyes flutter closed as the warmth of his entire body started to encapsulate every inch of her exposed skin as he ever-so-softly let the tip of his nose brush over her ear. “Are ya sure about that, love?”

It was the slickest, naughtiest, grittiest tone of whisper that she had ever heard and it took every part of her to not jump in his lap at that very second. But she knew she couldn’t. Cat forced herself to laugh at his attempt and Niall eased back, a cocky smirk still plastered across his face. “Niall, as hard as you’re gonna try,” she told him, raising her brows to assert herself, “I’m not going to sleep with you.”

Plopping back into the seat in a defeated huff, Niall rubbed his palm over the front of his face. “Fuck...well, that ruins all me plans,” he joked as they both laughed. “How ‘bout I just take you home then?” he went on, catching her stare going wide as she peered over at him. He pinched his eyes shut in a snort upon realizing what he had said. “No-...to your home. Jesus…”

Smiling at him, she softly giggled and nodded her head. “Yeah...that’d be nice, thanks.”

•

They had been sitting in his Audi, parked outside her house, chatting for a good five minutes. She glanced out of the passenger side window and glared slightly upon seeing the movement of a curtain in one of the living room windows. Clearing her throat, she shifted her attention back to Niall. “Thank you again for the ride,” she said to him, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Saved me from having to take the bus home at 11:30 at night.”

“Of course, anytime,” he said, tipping his head over to the side as he slid his eyes down her body. He had been checking her out all night, Niall never being one to be shy about the fact, he knew and she knew, but he couldn’t help himself when it came to Cat. Licking over his lips, his stare slowly drifted over the suppleness of her exposed cleavage, his mind wandering back to the vivid memory of how her skin had tasted on his tongue. He swallowed hard as he shot his eyes back up to hers. “Cat, can I kiss you?”

Cat’s fingers paused on the door handle, and she turned to look over at him. “Honestly, I’m surprised you're asking,” she chortled.

Niall leaned his head back on the headrest, his hooded eyes narrowing slightly as he smirked. “Well, ya do have a boyfriend…”

She pushed out a chuckle. “So, the only reason you're asking to kiss me, is because I have a boyfriend?”

He flicked his brow and she rolled her eyes, gathering her sweater and small bag as she opened the car door. “You’ve really not changed a bit,” she finished.

“So that’s a no?”

Stepping out of the car, Cat spun around and bent over, catching his stare. “That’s a goodnight, Niall.”

He smiled and nodded his head. “Guess, I’ll see ya at work on Monday, then.”

“Guess you will,” she said with a soft smile, “but no special treatment, okay?”

His mouth turned down as he lifted his head from the seat. “Can’t promise ya that,” he said, running the tip of his tongue across his lips. His eyes were darting heavily with hers, and Cat could have sworn she felt a drunken buzz quickly submerse her head. She felt dizzy every time he looked at her like that, with that intensity that only he knew how to do. She sucked in a shaky breath, attempting to settle herself.

“Behave yourself, Niall.”

Quirking a brow, he gave her a low, thigh-clenching chuckle as he slipped his car into drive. “Sweet dreams, kitty cat.”

Cat rolled her eyes, trying to bite away at the smile on her lips as she closed the passenger door and waved as he drove off. She watched the tail lights of his car disappear around the corner, before she let out a long, melodramatic sigh. Her mind was reeling with memories of him, how he talked to her, how he touched her, her body on fire even just being near him, but there was no way she was gonna let him in. Not again.

Making her way into her house, Cat quietly shut the front door and looked up to see her little sister in the living room, hanging over the back of the couch as she curiously peered out of the large window. “Trina, what are you doing?” Cat asked, placing her hands on her hips.

“Who was that?” Katrina questioned, hoping up off the couch and bounding over towards her older sister.

Cat pulled in a breath, knowing her little sister was always the inquisitive one. And relentless about it too. “Just an old friend,” she told her, “someone I used to know a few years back.”

Trina folded her arms over her chest. “He’s got a nice car.”

Rolling her eyes, Cat let out a laugh and reached out to teasingly ruffle Trina’s head. “Go to bed, child,” she muttered as she walked away.

“Hey!” the young girl huffed loudly in protest, smoothing her hair back down as she watched Cat sneak her way upstairs to her bedroom. “I’m not a child!”

•

Monday came a bit quicker than Cat had hoped, and while she was eager to get back to a steady job, she was also nervous about how her first day was going to go. It was always a bit difficult for her to make friends; she was reserved but head-strong, opinionated when it mattered and learned very fast to not take anyone’s bullshit. All of those qualities sometimes made her more of a loner than an approachable person. But she was willing to try her best to be more personable, hopefully make a few acquaintances as well.

One person she knew she’d have no trouble winning over was Niall. And that was a whole other ballgame.

By late morning, Cat had settled in nicely to her work environment. She had her own desk and computer, a little space of her own within the huge, monochromatic space of the office located on the 23rd floor. Her co-workers, at least the ones in the cubicles surrounding her, were all very nice and had already offered to take her out to lunch as a welcome. Cat happily accepted, choosing to leave the lunch she had brought with her in the break room refrigerator for another day.

Even though Cat knew Niall’s office was actually on the next floor up, she wasn’t really surprised to see him strutting around her floor a few times already that morning. He hadn’t come up to her yet, Cat supposed he was heeding her words about not showing her any special treatment, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t caught his eye a few times as she peered over and saw him propped up against a cubicle wall, flirting away with a few of the ladies throughout the office. He was very charismatic, and annoyingly sexy, using his charms and his wit to entice as many sweet giggles and subtle arm touches as he could get.

Maybe that was his plan, to flaunt himself in front of Cat, showing her just how desirable he was, how easily he could get any woman he wanted. As if she didn’t already know that, or expect it. Niall would be leaned down, whispering sweet nothings in their ears with high pitched giggles spilling from their mouths as his blue eyes stuck right on Cat. She’d shake her head in a chuckle and focus back on her work, but the gears were grinding hard in her head. She wondered, just out of pure curiosity, how many of the women in the office he actually had bedded. And how many of them had felt what she felt when with him. She sucked in a deep breath, mad at herself for even entertaining the thought, because what did it matter to her? It didn’t and it shouldn’t.

Later that afternoon, waist deep in a coding error she was attempting to fix, a notification popped up on Cat’s computer that she had received an email. It was from Niall. She peeked around the short walls of her cubicle, wary of prying eyes before opening it.

Cat,

Please come see me in my office.

Niall Horan

CEO

Stomon Tech Limited

Her heart thumped loud in her chest as she read over it a few more times, just that one single sentence causing a frenzy inside her and she figured since he was her boss, there was no getting out of it. Maybe that was another one of his plans.

She smiled at the thought–it was textbook Niall–as she stepped off the elevator and onto the 24th floor. The blonde at the desk nodded her through and she made her way down the hallway, following it straight to his unnecessarily large office. The walls were all constructed of the same thick glass as the rest of the office, his door as well and she could clearly see Niall sitting at his sleek jet black desk, jotting something down as she reached out and gently knocked.

His eyes raised from the papers before him to see Cat standing outside his office door. Niall pulled in a deep breath and stood up, promptly waving her in. “Hello, Cat,” he greeted her as she stepped through the door and closed it. Niall held his hand out to one of the chairs that were lined up in front of his desk and she walked over, smiling at him as she sat down.

“Hey, Niall.”

Her eyes stayed glued to him as he stepped around his desk and stood in front of her, casually slipping his hands into his pants pockets. Cat bit at her lip, realizing he was finally close enough for her to get a good whiff of his expensive cologne and she tried to hide the fact that it was nearly intoxicating. On top of that, he had on a perfectly fitted deep blue suit, that hugged his broad shoulders and slim waist like it was a second skin. And with his dark hair, soft and swept to the side and just a hint of a scruffy beard, he looked like a dream. She hated that she couldn’t get those irritating thoughts out of her mind.

She shakily cleared her throat and watched as he tipped his head slightly. “Just wanted to see how your first day’s been goin’,” he said, peering down at her. Niall couldn't take his eyes off of her. Off of the low cut blouse she was wearing, off the soft curl of her hair that was brushing at her shoulder, off the tiny bit of flesh showing at her thigh where her legs were crossed. She shifted slightly in her chair from the burning heat of his gaze, and it caused her skirt to ride up just a bit more. Niall’s breath caught in his throat. It was like she was tempting him, even if she didn’t know it.

“It’s been nice,” she told him, fully aware that his stare was sliding over her lap where her skirt had ridden up and then over her breasts before finally settling on her face. She smirked. Maybe she did like flirting with him. Just a little bit. “Went out to lunch with a few coworkers. But really all I was wondering about is when you were gonna come over and say hi to me.”

“Yeah?” he asked, raising a brow.

“I mean, you were talking to everyone else…”

Niall chuckled, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. His chin tipped down slightly as he kept his stare on hers. “Were you jealous?”

“No,” Cat responded, shaking her head. “I have no reason to be, I have a boyfriend, remember?”

“Ah, yes the boyfriend,” Niall said, licking across his lips as he reached up and ran a hand through the side of his hair, “I forgot about him.”

“I bet you did,” Cat scoffed.

“I wanna take ya out, Cat,” Niall then said, “on a date.”

She breathed out a smile. “I can’t do that, Niall.” His eyes were darting over hers, as if he was trying to lure her in, pull her into his little trap just as he had done before. That reckless, all-consuming arousing stare, the one that shook her to the core, that literally brought her to her knees. The one that she would fall asleep thinking about almost every night. And that was all she could think about. Him. How he had made her feel, how they felt together. How he had turned her world upside down that one unforgettable summer night, and she never thought she would ever see him again. And now all she was trying to do was fight it. Fight that feeling of wanting him. She had to fight it. She had to.

“And why can’t ya?”

Cat sucked in a sharp breath, tilting her head to her shoulder. “Well, let’s see, for one, the whole boyfriend thing and for two,” she paused, scraping her teeth over her bottom lip. Niall watched the tip of her tongue roll out across the pink-bitten skin of her lip and he swallowed hard. “...I don’t think that would look very good. I just started here and, well, ya know, favoritism and all.”

“But ya are me favorite,” Niall bluntly stated with a smirk, quirking up his brow.

Cat bowed her head in a bashful grin, bringing her fingers up to her lips. He really knew how to work her, that was for sure. “Okay, but I’m not trying to make enemies the first week I’m working here,” she explained, glancing back up at him, “if I went out with you, I don’t think the other ladies in the office would like me very much.”

Niall furrowed his brow slightly and crossed his ankles as he rested his bum on the edge of his desk. “How so?”

“Niall, I’ve been here barely one day and have already heard them gossiping in the break room,” she told him, raising her brows. “And they all very much want to fuck you.”

A loud laugh belted out past his lips, and he tipped his face down, hiding his pinched eyes behind his hand. “They’ve heard the rumors then,” he muttered between chuckles.

Cat’s brows twisted up. “What rumors are those?”

He brought his stare back to hers, slowly running his tongue over his lips. “You know first hand what those rumors are, kitty cat.”

She could hardly breathe with his eyes on her like that, with his words floating in her head and she gently cleared her throat. “Yeah...well...they don’t know that,” she squeaked out.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’ve not told ‘em?”

“Niall, I barely know these people,” she spit out, “why would I tell them that we slept together one time four years ago?”

Stepping towards her, Niall curled his hands around the arms of the chair and leaned down, his face sitting flush with hers. Cat kept her eyes fixed on his, her mouth falling to a faint part as his warm breath seeped over her lips. He was so close she could almost taste him on her tongue and her eyes fluttered just from the thought. A few strands of his dark hair had fallen over his eyes, and Cat’s lungs were struggling to find air as a delicious smirk slid over his mouth. “ ‘cause, baby, the way I fuck is life changin’.”

His comment made Cat gasp, before she realized his obvious intentions with the remark and she breathed out a soft giggle instead, rolling her eyes. “You’re insane,” she mumbled, Niall chuckling at her response. He leaned up and stepped away, clearing his throat as he shuffled back behind his desk. Cat watched him for a moment, never having been around someone as bluntly cocky and intriguing as Niall, and she bit at her lip as he picked up a portfolio and began flipping through some pages. “How many of those girls have you actually slept with anyway?” she asked.

Niall’s fingers stalled on the papers and he peered at her through the tops of his hooded eyes. “What, the girls who work for me?”

“Yeah…”

“None actually.” Her stare went wide at his answer, obviously surprised by it and he pinched an eye shut. “Don’t wanna mix business and pleasure and all that, you know…”

Cat tipped her face down in a laugh. “Right,” she said, glancing back up at him, “Niall, the forever chivalrous gentleman.”

Niall snorted out a laugh and dropped the portfolio back down on his desk. He glanced over her head before catching her stare again. “Reckon ya better get back to work now, Ms. Williams, or you’ll be havin’ lots of gossip to answer to in the break room the next time you’re there.”

Her brows wrinkled. “Huh?”

Faintly nodding towards the glass wall behind her, Cat turned around in the chair to see a few nosy busy-bodies with their full attention planted on the two of them. She was bound to be the talk of the office break room after that. Cat huffed out a laugh as she looked back over at Niall, giving him a grin. Niall watched as she stood up from her seat and smoothed down her skirt. “We’ll chat later,” he told her.

She nodded, biting off her smile as she began to step away. “Have a good rest of your day, Mr. Horan.”

He shot her a wink. “You too, Cat.”

•

The next two weeks were surprisingly calm. Cat had settled nicely into work, and with her colleagues, better than she was expecting, and her interactions with Niall seemed to be more on the friendly side than him trying to flirt his way into her pants. To be honest, that confused her a bit. But she was always left confused and thrown off balance when it came to Niall. She had a hard time denying how much she wanted him, how he made her feel just by looking at her, but also knew that it would be disastrous if it ever happened again. She had to remain logical at all times around him, because God knows, he was extremely tempting and she had to fight within herself to not lose all sense of control.

He had called her a couple times, again, just friendly conversation and light banter, but other than that, Cat really hadn’t seen too much of him at work. She was aware of a huge project deadline coming up, Niall telling her of the copious amounts of boring meetings he had been partaking in and even flying out to NYC for two days on business. She thought it was oddly sweet that he was keeping her in the loop, so to speak, of his schedule and his life, and they would often find themselves texting each other well into the night, just to say goodnight.

Cat thought it was lovely that she could have real, thoughtful and intellectual conversations with him, because up until that point, even during the summer they had met, it had only been focused on one thing: sex. Not that she minded much. A man like him wanting a woman like her, it was flattering and it made her feel good, she definitely wasn’t going to deny that. She was just happy that her and Niall had moved into a more comfortable level in their growing friendship. Cat was happy to have him as her friend.

It was an early Saturday afternoon, Cat was at home with her family, her mother and sister in the kitchen unpacking groceries that they had just picked up for the evening. Cat was in her bedroom finishing her laundry, and had just put away some of her folded t-shirts when her cell phone rang. Bumping the dresser drawer closed with her hip, she shuffled her bare feet over to her nightstand to grab her phone, checking the name that was highlighted across the screen. Niall.

She breathed out a smile and answered, tucking the phone between her shoulder and her cheek as she walked over to her closet and pulled out a few hangers. “Hey, you,” she greeted him as she made her way back towards her bed to hang up some of her dresses and pantsuits.

“Hey, kitty cat, what ya doin’?”

She giggled. “Just some laundry,” she told him, “what are you doing?”

“Uh, layin’ in me bed,” he told her, Cat noticing a softness in his voice. “Naked. Thinkin’ ‘bout you.”

Cat rolled her eyes in a snort. “So...just a normal day then, huh?”

A deep laugh rumbled from his end of the line. “I was wonderin’ if maybe ya wanna go out with me tonight?” he then asked, pausing for a moment to clear his throat before he continued. “Just as friends. Been so busy with work lately, we haven’t hung out and I miss seein’ ya.”

Cat bit at her bottom lip, her cheeks running warm as she stepped back over to her closet to hook her clothes up on the rack. “I don’t know, Niall,” she hummed out, darting her stare around her room and realizing she had left her water bottle downstairs. “My mom has this whole family dinner thing planned for my Dad’s birthday tonight and it would be kinda rude for me to just bail.”

Bouncing down the stairs and into the kitchen where her mother and sister were still putting groceries away, she held the phone to her ear and snatched her water bottle off of the counter just as Katrina had opened the cupboard above her head. Trina shot her a look, and Cat stuck her tongue out at her. “Hmm...okay, well, maybe tomorrow then? Are ya free?”

“I should be,” Cat huffed out as she refilled her bottle, her eyes studying the clear stream of water filtering into the metal flask, “what did you wanna do, anyway?”

Niall had started to mumble something, when Cat’s mom looked over at her. “Who’s that?” she nosily asked.

“It's that guy with the really nice car, isn’t it?” Trina interjected.

Cat’s eyes went big at her little sister as Niall continued to talk into her ear, and she set the water bottle down and smushed her hand over the bottom of the phone. “Shh!” she snapped back, shifting her eyes from her sister to her mom. “Just...a friend.”

“Who?”

A distinguishable quiet had settled on the end of the line before the young woman heard a faint ‘Cat?’ in a low, husky voice. She held up her finger to her mom and put her attention back to Niall. “Yeah, I’m here, sorry my mom was saying something to me. Can you hold for, like, one second?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Blocking the end of her phone again with her palm, she playfully glared over at Trina before pushing out a sigh. “Just this guy, Niall. I met him a few years ago before I left for college and, weirdly enough, he's now my boss.”

Trina rounded her lips. “Oooh.”

“Your boss?” her mother repeated, opening the fridge to set a gallon of milk inside. “Well, Cat, you should invite him over for dinner tonight!”

“Mom, it’s Dad’s birthday,” she questioned, wrinkling her brow, “And I thought it was just ‘family’ anyway...”

The older woman waved off her daughter with a huff, turning to gather up the reusable shopping bags from the countertop. “Please, you know your father would love to meet your boss, Cat, birthday or not. And he's your friend. Invite him over.”

Cat’s heartbeat picked up in her chest, so much so that it was like a heavy bass drum in the back of her ears steadily getting louder as her palms started to sweat. It was obnoxious. She curled her fingers tighter around her phone as she silently shot her stare between her mom and her sister, who had a very smug grin plastered over her lips. “....alright,” she gingerly sighed out, bringing her phone back up to her ear. “Niall?”

“Yup?”

“Hey, so, um…” Cat paused, bowing her head down and anxiously scratching across the skin of her forehead, “weird question, I guess, but would you, maybe...like to come over to my house for dinner tonight?”

“With your family?”

“Yeah.”

Scraping her teeth over her bottom lip, two sets of curious eyes were glued to her, waiting in as much anticipation as Cat was for Niall’s answer. She heard a short chuckle bleed into her ear before Niall pulled in a deep breath. “Sure, I’d love to.”

•

Niall was standing on her front stoop, knocking at her door only a mere few hours later. Not really sure why she felt so nervous, her belly tying into knots as she had been getting ready and her heart thumping along with the ticking of the clock as it counted down to when he was supposed to arrive. But the second she opened the door, the second his stunning ocean blue eyes met hers, it all faded away. He looked gorgeous, as he always did; a fitted pressed dark pair of trousers topped with a silky patterned button up short sleeve shirt, it was undone slightly at the top, just enough to showcase that gold necklace that hung around his neck. Niall smiled at Cat as she invited him in.

His eyes danced over her body as he stepped through the door, seeing her in a pair of tight jeans and slightly fitted top, she hadn’t dressed sexy, it was her Dad’s birthday after all, but Niall thought she looked amazing. He liked seeing her in a more casual look, different then how he had seen her at work. He noticed right away that her hair, usually down and sitting just below her shoulders, was pulled back into a high ponytail and for a moment, he was transported back to summer camp. Back to that first time that he saw her. Standing amongst the other counselors, listening to the director spout out the camp rules and whatnot, but even then, Niall’s full attention was on Cat. She looked absolutely beautiful, just like every time he had laid eyes on her since.

Smiling back at him, her parents had made their way into the small foyer, eager to meet the mystery boss-friend with the super nice car. Cat introduced him, Niall having brought her father a bottle of extremely expensive Irish whiskey as a gift, and she stood off to the side as he engaged her parents in polite small talk. He was very impressive to watch–Cat finding herself sinking her teeth into her bottom lip as he freely chatted and laughed along with her parents. His charisma even snagged her old, rigid dad and his cheekiness made her mother blush a shade of pink Cat had rarely seen.

“And this is my sister, Katrina,” she said to Niall, pointing at her little sister who had just emerged from the living room as her parents made their way back into the kitchen to finish up dinner.

The young girl popped her gum in her mouth as she gave Niall an apathetic wave. “Everyone calls me Trina.”

“Nice to meet ya, Trina,” Niall greeted her with a nod.

Perching her hands on her hips, Trina narrowed her eyes as she looked over at Niall. Her stare slid down his frame and then back up before she tipped her chin in a smile. “You’re smokin’ hot.”

“Trina! Jesus,” Cat snipped, furrowing her brows as Niall chuckled. She grabbed around Niall’s bicep and he moved his attention to her. “I’m sorry, she’s just–”

“Spitting facts?” Trina raised her brows.

Cat glared at her sister and before she could respond with a growling rebuff, their mother called out from the kitchen. “Trina, behave yourself!” Rolling her eyes in a displeased huff, the teenager spun around on her socked heels and slumped back into the living room without another word.

Niall licked across his lips, fighting off his inevitable snickering as he looked over at Cat. “She’s cute,” he told her, quirking a brow.

“She’s fifteen,” Cat shot back.

“I can tell,” he snorted, “she’s still funny, though.”

“You’re only saying that because she said you were hot.”

“Uh, smokin’ hot,” Niall corrected, cocking his head to the side. “Would’ve rather you been the one sayin’ it though...”

Cat giggled. “Keep dreaming, Niall.”

“Ya just keep breakin’ me heart, Cat,” Niall mumbled out, dramatically slapping a hand to his chest. “Jesus…”

Her eyes pinched shut in a laugh before she reached out and grabbed Niall’s hand. “C’mon,” she said, pulling him after her, “I’ll show you around a bit.”

After leading him through the downstairs area, Cat took Niall upstairs and into her bedroom. She didn’t really think much of it when he was trailing behind her up the stairs, their hands still loosely entangled with the heat of his skin melting into hers. It felt natural to her, so much so that she had forgotten that she was even holding his hand that whole time until they stepped into her room. “So, this is it,” Cat said, her fingers slowly sliding from his as he brushed past her and further into her bedroom.

Niall stood near the side of her bed with his hands hooked on his hips, his stare floating across the small bedroom; from the posters still hung up on her walls to the shelves of academic trophies and awards she had acquired throughout school. Cat crossed her arms over her chest, gnawing on her lip as she kept her eyes glued to him. He had faced himself away from her, studying some old pictures of Cat and her friends from high school that were pinned up on her wall, and she let her gaze drag down the length of his frame. His shoulders were wide under the thin material of his shirt, his back broad, a lot broader than she had remembered, and his waist slim, but it was the deliciously supple curve of his ass that forced Cat to draw in a jittery breath. He had such a nice body, toned but soft in all the right places and her eyes fluttered as the memories of how he felt on top of her, pushing himself inside her, came rushing like an unstoppable flood back into her head.

Her eyelids were pressed closed, enjoying her dirty thoughts, when Niall had unknowingly turned around to get her attention. He smiled to himself upon seeing how pretty Cat looked with her head tipped to the side and her bottom lip sucked into her mouth. He cleared his throat and her eyes popped open, met with a cocky grin. She froze. “This looks familiar…” he said to her, his brows raising as he held up a grey snapback that had been slung over the front bedpost of her bed.

She smiled at him. “It should. You gave it to me.”

Niall flicked the hat in his hand as he peered down at it, the very tip of his tongue poking out between his lips. “I know, I remember,” he mumbled, wiggling the hat down on his head. Her stare went glassy, widening slightly as she peered over at him, struck with how much he looked like he used to once that hat was back on him and she struggled to find a solid breath. The corner of his mouth tugged into a smirk. “Bring back any memories?”

It did. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.

Dropping her hands at her sides, Cat slowly stepped around the end of her bed and came up flush to him. His hooded gaze was fixated on her, holding tight to every movement, as she leaned herself in close to him, so close that Niall could feel the tiny wisps of her hot breath against the front of his neck. It made his stomach twist. His mouth parted slightly as she rose to her tiptoes, his blue eyes darting wild over hers and there was a hint of a devilish smirk pulling at her lips as she inched closer and closer, her warm body practically on top of his.

And as quick as Cat had pressed flush to him, she just as quickly reached up and snatched the hat off of Niall’s head. She leaned past him slightly as she flung the hat back onto the bedpost where it belonged. “It’s still mine,” she claimed, raising her brow.

His stare hadn’t left hers, it couldn’t even if he had wanted it to and Niall turned his mouth down at her, fully impressed that he had fallen for that little game she had just played. She grinned at him, pleased with herself and it made Niall’s chest ache with how cute she looked. “It’s still yours,” he assured softly, giving her one single nod.

Cat tilted her face down, hiding the flush that had invaded her cheeks as Niall moved his eyes beside her. “So this is where you sleep?” he asked, pointing to the bed.

“Well, that sounds creepy,” she mentioned with a giggle.

Niall laughed. “Just tryin’ to get a feel for the place.”

“Oh, right,” she scoffed, plopping her bottom down on the side of the bed. “Yup, this is my bed. Same one since I was, like...twelve.”

Sitting himself down next to her, Niall carded his hand through his hair as he turned his head to catch her stare. “Should I be jealous?”

“Of what?” Cat asked, wrinkling her brows.

Niall peeked over his shoulder at her yellow daisy printed comforter. “All the people that have gotten to sleep with you in this very spot.”

Cat rolled her eyes before meeting his stare again. “Niall, we’ve had sex before so, no, you shouldn’t be jealous and to be honest, besides that, there’s nothing to be jealous of…”

His brows pulled in. “You tellin’ me you’ve never had sex in this bed?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” she huffed, glancing down at her lap. “I’ve never even had a boy in this room before.”

Niall clicked his tongue in his mouth. “So I’m your first…”

“Weird way of putting it,” Cat replied with a soft giggle, peering over at him, “but yes.”

Leaning in towards her, the air stifled in the back of Cat’s throat as she felt his hot, silky breath spill over the slope of her neck. It made her eyes flutter, and she fought back a whimper when the tip of his nose just barely brushed along her jaw. His large palm was resting at her lower back, ever so faintly and she swallowed hard and stayed still, not daring to move an inch as Niall hungrily licked across his lips. “We can add another first to the list if ya want…”

Slowly turning her head to look over at him, she caught his hooded stare. She struggled to find her words. “Are you, um…are you propositioning me, Mr. Horan?” Cat whispered, darting her eyes with his. Her chest was rising high with her quick, unruly breaths, her fingers curling into the thick blanket on both sides of her knees. Niall lifted his shoulder in a shrug, his brow quirking up. The darkness in his eyes was filling Cat’s belly with a fire that was proving hard to fight off, and she scraped her teeth across her bottom lip. “With my parents right downstairs?”

“Makes it even hotter,” he confidently said with a wink.

Cat let out a groan and playfully pushed him away with a nudge of her shoulder. “You’re filthy,” she told him, shaking her head as she stood up.

Niall belted out a laugh, looking up at her. “Mmm, well, we both know that’s how ya like it.”

With her eyes going big, her pouty lips fell to a part and Niall smirked proudly at her reaction. All she could do was let the dizziness fill her head, flustered every time he even so much as caught her stare as Niall reached out and gently grabbed her hand. Her knees wanted to crumble beneath her, her body wanting to let go as his thumb rubbed tiny circles over her skin. She slowly lifted her gaze back to his, her breaths stunted in her lungs, just as her father called them down to dinner.

Cat squeezed her eyes closed for a split second as Niall stood up right in front of her. His intoxicating scent filled her nose and she let her gaze drift up from his chest to his blue eyes. “Saved by the bell, huh, kitty cat?”

Pressing her lips in a line, she tipped her chin up, determined to not let him get the best of her. “It’s not like I was considering it.”

A smug smirk tugged at the edge of Niall’s lips and he lightly placed his hand to Cat’s waist, his fingertips pushing in slightly. “Oh, baby, you were definitely considerin’ it,” he whispered, his voice low and rough in his throat. A pulsing heat coursed through her entire body, from her head to her toes, itching over her skin and pooling between her thighs. Licking across his lips, Niall quirked his brow as he quietly stepped away, slowly letting his fingertips drag down the curve of her hip.

Watching as he sauntered out of her bedroom, Cat pushed out a heavy, choppy breath and reached up to rub across her dampened forehead. She didn’t even realize she had started to sweat, just from that short interaction and she swallowed hard before shaking her head and following him out of the room.

She hated that he could still, without question, cause that kind of reaction in her.

•

After an uneventful, yet really good dinner followed by some delicious homemade birthday cake, Cat and Niall found themselves sitting out on the steps of her small front stoop. The sun had long set, just the street lamps casting a yellow glow along the road and the porch light shining onto their backs. Niall had his arms resting on his bent knees, sipping on a bottle of beer that Cat’s father had graciously offered him. Peering over at him, her eyes trailed the long slope of his throat as he tipped his head back to take a gulp. She pulled in a deep breath, hugging her arms tighter around her middle.

“So,” she began, shifting her eyes back out into the dark of the street, “is owning a tech company something you always wanted to do?”

Niall had just finished another sip of his beer and he chuckled as he licked his lips. “No, not really,” he admitted. “I mean, I knew I was gonna own a company one day, my dad owned a company, and I don’t have a business degree for nothin’, but...tech wasn’t really somethin’ I was ever super into, ya know?” He shrugged. “It is what it is, I guess.”

Cat peeked over at him, resting her chin on the round of her shoulder. “So it was…easy for you.”

“An easy choice?” he repeated, catching her stare. “Yeah, I had the money, I had the resources.”

Cat chuckled under her breath, shaking her head as she drifted her eyes along the chain link fence that enclosed her tiny front yard. “What?” Niall asked.

“Nothing,” she replied, “just...crazy how shit always comes so easy for you. Wish I had a little bit of that.”

“Shit doesn’t always come easy for me,” Niall scoffed.

Rolling her stare over to him, Cat snorted. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

Niall licked over his lips. “You.”

“Me?” she huffed, wrinkling her brow, “you never had to try hard in that department, Niall.”

With his mouth falling to a part, Niall pushed out a low huff. “Are ya kiddin’ me? I’ve never had to work so hard for a second go in me life.”

Cat groaned and reached out, snatching the beer bottle from his hands and promptly taking a sip. “You deserve a challenge once in a while.”

Niall chuckled and leaned towards her, his eyes stuck on hers. “If you think for one second that I’m not up for it, baby, you’re bloody fuckin’ wrong…”

Her heart nearly skipped a solid beat as she pushed out a soft chuckle. “Charming.”

Niall threw his head back in a laugh before hoisting himself up. He turned around and stood in front of her at the bottom of the steps. Cat bit at her lip as she looked up at him, noticing a smirk pulling at his mouth as he leaned on the handrail. “I wanna take ya somewhere,” he then blurted out.

“Like...now?”

“No, this weekend,” Niall chuckled.

Cat dropped her gaze to the ground under his feet and swallowed hard. “ Where do you wanna take me?” she asked, glancing back up at him.

“I’m not tellin’ ya,” he said, raising his brows, “it’s part of the surprise. It won’t be for the whole weekend, just Saturday. It’s not too long of a drive.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, Cat took another sip of the beer and tucked her lips into her mouth. She stayed quiet, studying his features as he turned his face slightly and peered down at her through the corners of his eyes. Niall wasn’t sure what she was thinking, or what her answer was going to be, but he was hopeful. “What do’ya say?”

Pulling in a deep breath, Cat set the empty beer bottle down next to her. “Do I have a choice?”

“Baby, you always have a choice,” he replied, cocking his head back slightly.

Cat dipped her head down in a smile. “Okay, fine,” she said as she looked back at him, “but we're only going as friends. Nothing is gonna happen.”

“Of course,” he smirked, “would ya expect anythin’ less of me, kitty cat?”

Her brows raised. “Do you really want me to answer that?” Niall pointed a finger at her. “No.” He watched as Cat’s head softly rolled back to her shoulders in a laugh, her eyes squeezing shut and he couldn’t help but smile as the pretty sound slipped past her lips. She was perfect. “Alright then,” Niall went on as Cat caught her breath, “I’m gonna head out, but, um...thanks for havin’ me over. It was lovely. I had fun spendin’ time with you.”

Cat chewed at her bottom lip as she darted her eyes over his, hugging her arms around her middle once again. “Yeah, it was...surprisingly nice. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for coming.”

Fishing his car keys out of his front pocket, a tiny breath hitched in Cat’s chest as Niall leaned down and pushed a tender kiss to her cheek. “Sweet dreams, petal,” he whispered, the warmth of his lips lingering on her skin. It was one of the sweetest, softest moments she had ever experienced. And it was coming from Niall.

Her eyes fluttered open when he stepped back, a smile on his face as he spun around and made his way to his car. Cat watched with a dreamy haze in her eyes, curiosity bounding to her fingertips and an ache befalling her chest as he hopped in his car and drove off. She sat on that top step of her stoop, head cupped in her hands and a million thoughts pouring through her mind for what seemed like ages.

What was she getting herself into? And more importantly...after all these years, why did she still want him so bad?

•

It was hard for Cat not to think about Niall over the following week, the nonstop, and frankly, obscene cataclysm he created inside her and how confused it made her feel. It was also hard for Cat to hide how excited she was for whatever Niall had planned for that weekend. She tried telling herself that it meant nothing, he was just doing what Niall did and did well; seduce and concur and that it would be no different this time around, but the thoughts of how much she wanted to be with him, wanted to feel him, wanted to kiss him and touch him and taste him again, how much she wanted to just be with him, kept creeping into the back of her mind.

Part of her, an incredibly hard to ignore part, didn’t care that Niall was a self-proclaimed womanizer, at least to her knowledge, and all she wanted was to have him. To let herself feel what she had always felt for him, without hesitation or worry, without a second thought. To let him care about her…love her. She knew without a doubt that Niall would treat her well, that he would be good to her, but there was always that inkling of what if. What if she let herself give into him again and he didn’t want anything more than that. What if she succumbed to those physical primal needs that itched across her skin every time he was near, and that indescribable longing in her heart she couldn’t hide from and it turned out that he didn’t feel that same way about her. What if she fell for him, really fell for him, and in the end...he didn’t want her anymore.

That was what Cat couldn’t shake from her mind. The fear of him not feeling for her the way she knew, deep down, she really felt for him.

Niall picked her up at her house around 3 that Saturday afternoon. Cat was beside herself; she was nervous, but excited, giddy like a teenager going out on her first date, and if anyone would have asked her why she was feeling all of those things, she really could not have given them a straight answer. Apart from the fact that it was mainly because of Niall. Being around him made her feel exuberant and alive, he made her feel sexy and alluring. He made her feel important and wanted. He made her feel 18 all over again, but more mature, more in control. And as hard as he tried, as much as he used his charms and his flirtatious ways on her, it was clear that she was the one in control this time. She was the one who was holding him like putty in her hand. And that simple fact made her feel more powerful than she had ever felt before.

He refused to discuss where they were headed as they drove, just telling her that it wasn’t very far away, but Cat was more than eager to find out what the big surprise was. She had worried for a moment while getting ready that she was overdressed, a light breezy yellow sundress and pair of low open-toed sandals, but Niall immediately complimented her outfit as he met her at her front door and that quickly reassured her. He was also dressed quite freely with a linen short sleeve button down and a pair of fitted twill trousers, Cat smiling as she looked him over, making sure to tell him that he looked nice as well.

The late afternoon sun was bright, strings of gold streaming in through the car windows and Cat peered over at Niall as he sat buckled in the driver's seat. Her eyes tenderly fawned down his profile, engrossed in the perfectly sharp slope of his nose and the tiny pout of his lips. His beard was grown in heavy, his dark brown hair styled softly and over to the side, and she couldn’t see his eyes underneath his sunglasses but she knew they were just as blue, just as gorgeous and dreamy as they had always been. The thought made her smile and without thinking, she reached over and gently ran her fingers through the side swept part of his hair, right over his ear.

Niall slowly glanced over at her, a faint smirk at the corner of his mouth and Cat stared at him as she retracted her hand and rested it back into her lap. “Sorry,” she muttered, flinging her face forward as she peered down at her hands, “couldn’t...help myself.”

A chuckle left Niall’s lips and she felt the faintest brush of his fingertips over her temple and then carding delicately through her hair. “It’s okay,” he told her.

Her eyes flew over to his. “So you’re really not going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope,” he said, shaking his head. Cat’s stare slipped down the length of his arm that was gripped onto the steering wheel. The sun’s rays glimmered across the silver metal of his watch and it made her eyes squint. “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I did that.”

“I’m much more surprised you didn’t blindfold me,” she chuckled.

Niall’s grip on the steering wheel tightened at her words and he shot his eyes over to her. “I can definitely do that if ya want,” he said, voice deep in his throat.

Cat smiled, biting at her lip as she turned her head to peer out of her window. “Maybe later…”

Fluttering his eyes under the guise of his sunglasses, Niall blew out a heavy breath and licked across his lips. He was trying so hard to control himself around Cat, to not be who she had this perception of him to be, and he folded his fingers into a fist on his thigh as he continued to drive. “Not much longer,” he said aloud.

•

The second they turned down the tree-lined dirt road, Cat knew exactly where they were. Her eyes went wide and she leaned forward, staring up through the windshield as they passed under the old wooden sign: Camp Sparrow. It had been years since she had been back, four years to be exact, and she breathed out a smile, glancing over at Niall. He quirked his brows at her as they slowly drove down the winding lane of dirt and rocks towards the front office of the camp. “I can’t believe you,” Cat whispered, mainly to herself but Niall heard her loud and clear and he dipped his chin down in a big smile, a pink hue blushing his cheeks.

Coming to a stop in the same exact place that Cat had watched Niall leave that very summer, the two of them climbed out of the car, Niall grabbing a cloth bag and blanket from the back seat. It was clear that the camp was no longer a functioning summer camp; the grass somewhat overgrown and the wooden buildings a bit worn down, but as Cat peered around the large area, from the numbered cabins to the old dock that jutted out into the lake from the tiny beach area, it felt like nothing had changed. Niall had planned for them to have a picnic, some light food and wine and they spent the following couple hours sprawled out on the woolen blanket in the grass, staring off into the dark muddled water watching as the sun slowly set behind the trees. It was beautiful and quiet, serene and the two of them talked and laughed and reminisced about their past summer together. Cat felt good, she felt happy and she peeked over at Niall, catching the cute lopsided smirk on his face and it made a warmth flutter in her tummy.

Niall was just happy to see Cat happy, it made his heart pound in his chest to hear her soft laugh and see her bright smile. He knew bringing her back to that place was exactly what they needed, what he needed to show her just how he felt about her. Taking one last sip of wine as the sun had just dipped below the treeline across the lake, Niall dusted off his palms as he stood up.

“C’mere,” he said, holding out his hand to her. Cat tipped her head back to look up at him, biting at her lip. Sliding her hand into his, Niall gently pulled her up to her feet and slowly began to lead them out towards the lake. Cat’s heart was lashing against her ribcage, heavy and fast as her fingers tightened around Niall’s. His skin was blistering hot, but felt soft pressed to her own, and she thought for a moment that she would be content to stay like that with him. But she also thought that everything that was happening, all that she was feeling was just some kind of fever dream, something that could never really be and she pulled in a jittery sigh just as their bare feet hit the cool white sand of the tiny man-made beach.

Niall’s fingers eased away from hers and he slipped his hands in the front pockets of his pants. Cat chewed lightly at her bottom lip, unsure as to why he had let her hand go and she crossed her arms over her chest. They stood there reveling in the peaceful silence, stares drowning in the little ripples of water that floated by from the tepid breeze before she cleared her throat. There was something on her mind that she had to get out. “Niall?” she said, her voice meek and nearly carried away by the soft lapping of the water on the shore.

“Yeah?” He had turned his face to look over at her, Cat’s gaze watching the silhouette of a bird coasting above the tree line.

She sucked back a sharp breath, peeking down at her painted toes as they curled into the cold sand. “Why did you bring me here?”

He remained quiet for a moment, her question hanging idle in the air as he gathered his thoughts. “I don’t know,” Niall shrugged, “I guess, I thought that maybe...bein’ here again, seein’ the lake and the cabins and shit, that it would, ya know...spark somethin’ in ya. Memories. About me. About...us.”

Cat hastily ran her tongue over her lips as she kicked her toes in the sand. “There never really was an us, Niall,” she stated, chuckling lightly, “I mean, we flirted for a few weeks, slept together once...then went back to our normal lives. If anything, I’d say it was just...a summer fling.”

Niall shifted his stare downwards, rolling his lips into his mouth as he nodded his head. “So I didn’t mean anythin’ to ya, then.”

Shooting her eyes over to him, she furrowed her brow. “No, I didn’t say that–”

“Because I know I made ya feel good,” he spit out, aggravation clear in his voice as he caught her stare, “didn’t I?”

Cat swallowed hard. She couldn’t lie to him, not about that. “Yeah,” she said softly.

“You liked the way I fucked ya.”

His words, so deliberate and suggestive in their intention as they floated off his tongue, made her chest feel heavy, like a ton of bricks smashing her down as her breaths stuck thick to the back of her throat. But she still couldn’t lie to him. “Yeah…”

Niall turned his broad shoulders as he faced her, his brow raised. “The guy you’re with now, does he fuck you like that?” He paused and licked across his lips, his chest swelling with his rapid breaths. “Does he fuck ya like he needs ya, like he can’t get enough of ya? Like he owns ya?”

Cat’s lips parted as she struggled to find the words, any words and she gingerly shook her head. Honesty was all she could muster as she darted her stare with his. “You’re the only person who’s ever fucked me like that,” she said, her tone subdued, “who’s ever made me...feel like that…”

“That’s what I thought,” Niall huffed out.

She rolled her eyes at his callous attitude and pushed out a heavy breath. “You really haven’t changed, have you, Niall?”

“Not much, kitty cat,” he lightly scoffed, “ ‘cept I’m richer now and I fuck even better.”

His joke, if that was what he was trying to intend, made Cat sigh out loud. “And it seems like you’re even more full of yourself,” she said.

Niall smirked at her. “You used to be into that.”

“Yeah, well...it worked,” she snapped, moving her gaze back out to the calmness of the water. “Four years ago.”

Niall’s eyes narrowed and he yanked his hands from his pockets, crossing his arms over his chest. Licking across his lips, his eyes studied over Cat; the light flutter of her eyelashes and tiny upturned pout of her mouth, watching as a slight breeze swept a few strands of her hair over her cheek. She reached up and tucked it behind her ear. She was so hauntingly beautiful, it made his chest ache to even look at her, but she consistently left Niall stumped. He didn’t know what to do or say around her, he didn’t know how to pursue her. How to make her want him as much as she had four years ago. As much as he wanted her. But he was determined to find out. “So tell me then, what works now?”

Cat slowly peered back over at him. “You, Niall,” she told him blankly, “just be you.”

“This is me–”

“No,” she choked out a laugh, shaking her head, “it's not. It's not the real you. Niall, you’re sweet and caring, and sensual and fun. But this? This is you when you’ve got one thing on your mind. When all you wanna do is sleep with somebody, when you’re on the chase.”

Cat watched his eyes narrow, listening as she went on. “And I’m not saying I don’t like when you talk dirty to me or...flirt so shamelessly and try so hard to get me into bed, I do, but the chase is over...you’ve already fucked me.”

He cocked his head back. “And what if I wanna fuck you again?”

“Maybe…” Cat paused and sucked in a shaky breath. His eyes fixated on hers, the intensity causing a ripple of heat to glide over her skin, tiny goosebumps shedding its path. “Maybe you just don’t need to try so hard this time.”

Niall tipped his head back to his shoulders in a low, frustrated groan, rubbing his palms down the front of his face. Perching his hands on his hips, a dumbfounded chuckle broke under his breath as he looked back over at her.

“What?” she questioned, wrinkling her brow.

“I don’t even fuckin’ know anymore,” he snorted, “you make me-...fuck, you make so confused, Cat. It completely fucks with me head, ya know? I feel so different when I’m around you, I always have. And I knew from the first time I saw ya, that first day at summer camp four years ago, that I had to have ya.”

He paused, licking across his lips. “But it’s like...I don’t even know how to act around ya,” he told her, scratching through his scruffy beard. “The things I’d normally say, what I’d normally do. I flirt with ya, I do everythin’ I can to get ya to want me but, ya just...ya don’t fall for any of me shit. I don’t know what else to do.”

Cat’s eyes pinched shut in a soft snicker, her head rolling to her shoulder. “I do fall for your shit, Niall,” she confessed, glancing back over at him. “I have...I am.”

His brows shot up. “You are?”

Biting at her lip, Cat tried to tame back her emerging smile. “I mean, as much as I’d like to say no, that none of your usual shit is working on me, I’m here...right now with you, Niall,” she said softly, “and...I could never lie to you about that.”

Niall gingerly nodded his head, “Okay,” he spoke up, a confidant smirk sliding over his lips, “so if that’s how ya feel, what would you say if I told you that I wanted to lay ya down right here...and fuck ya like you’ve never been fucked before...”

A breath stalled in Cat’s throat and her eyes fluttered as she peered over the ground at their feet. “Well,” she gently mewed, “I would say that I’d rather not like to have sand in my bits while you’re fucking me, so maybe we can find a hotel nearby instead?”

Niall took her words, as salaciously as they had left her lips, as a joke and he dropped his forehead into the cup of his hand in a rowdy laugh. Raising his eyes back to hers in a sigh, he noticed that she wasn’t laughing, or smiling along with him. Just...staring at him. His eyes narrowed as he settled himself and he swallowed hard. “You’re serious. You really want me to fuck ya, don’t ya...”

It came out more of a statement than a question in that gritty accent of his, dripping over Cat’s ears like warm honey, sticky and thick, begging to be licked. Her fingers curled into her palms, an unstoppable heat coursing through her body as she sank her teeth down into her bottom lip. She tried to smile at him, tried to conjure up the nerve to be flippant with the lewd words floating in her head, but she couldn’t even settle the uneven pounding of her heart. It was too much. He was too much. “Honestly, Niall,” she said, turning towards him, “there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by these last four years that I haven’t wanted you to fuck me again.”

Cat barely had time to react before Niall had stepped up flush to her, cradling her face in his big hands. The blistering heat from his palms seared into her soft skin and she lightly gasped as he slowly slid the pad of his thumb over her plump bottom lip. “You don’t know how long I’ve dreamt about hearin’ those words come out of this pretty little mouth.”

Her eyes fluttered and she swallowed hard, eager to play his game. “Should I say them again?” Cat teased.

Niall smirked and leaned in closer, his lips just ghosting over hers. His breath, hot and silky, spilled out over her lips and she eased her hands up, splaying them at his sides. His hooded eyes darted fast with hers, a recklessness fading into the dark and she struggled to properly inhale. He was too intoxicating, too overwhelming but she wanted him. She wanted him so bad she could feel it swirling in her lower belly and taste it tingling on her tongue. And that was all it took.

“I...want you...to fuck me…”

A seedy growl edged from Niall’s throat at Cat’s words and she felt his body tense up under the press of her palms. His chest was heaving, rising high against hers as his lips brushed at the corner of her mouth. “Can I kiss you now?”

Cat’s eyes fell closed at his sweetness and a hint of a smile tugged at her parted lips as she raised just a bit to her tiptoes. “Yes…please...”

Niall pushed his mouth to hers, kissing her deep and full, sweeping his tongue into her open mouth. Cat whined out as she kissed him back, harder and with more vigor than she knew she had in her. Niall brought that out in her, that greedy hunger, a hunger she needed to feed. To feel his lips on hers, to taste him on her tongue and swallow his warm breath, she didn’t even realize just how much she had missed him, missed feeling him, until it was happening. Her fingers twisted into the material of his shirt, yanking at it as she tugged his body even closer into her. His big hands held her face, his tongue curling over hers, and Cat felt as if she was going to float away if Niall hadn’t had her tethered so taut down against him.

The heat was indescribable, the fieriness surging between their flesh sending both into an unyielding desire that neither had thought possible. She wanted him even more than she had years before, and he wanted her more than he had ever wanted any other woman. Niall had this need inside of him, an almost feral desire that only she could tame. She was his weakness, and he lavished the power she had over him. With her hands coming up and wrapping around his strong forearms, Niall nipped at her bottom lip as they left hers, a desperate gasp of air shared between the two. His darkened eyes only met hers for a second before he had grabbed her hand in his and began leading her back into the grassy area.

Without a word spoken, they both hurriedly gathered their things and the remnants of their picnic and headed towards Niall’s parked car. Hopping in and closing the doors, Niall leaned his upper body almost all the way over into her seat, bringing Cat into a heated kiss once more, not being able to help himself. She ran her fingers up through his soft dark hair, twisting into the tiny ends as she urged his tongue into her mouth. Struggling to catch her breath as Niall kissed over her chin and down to her neck, Cat tipped her head back as he sucked along her throat. His thick fingers were tangled in the side of her hair, his tongue slinking over her exposed collarbone before she forced herself to inch away from him, his lips popping off her flushed skin.

She was drowning in the gaze of his heavy lidded eyes and it took all she had in her to fight off the temptation to straddle him in his seat and fuck him right then and there. Niall swallowed hard as he stared at her. “We have to wait,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering as she cupped her hand around the back of his neck and tugged him into another kiss. “Not here.”

Nodding his head as he reluctantly eased back, Niall wiped across his mouth with the back of his hand as he settled himself into the driver’s seat. He raked his fingers through his hair, a long drawn out breath huffing past his lips before he started up the car and took off. The ride back was torture, Niall’s big hand not leaving its claimed spot on her thigh, the pads of his fingers kneading into her silky skin as their eyes shot over to one another with each passing minute. He knew he needed her; needed to touch her, taste her, fuck her. Cat could barely hold herself together, her mind reeling with the thoughts of his touch and his kisses, her body aching to have him inside her and her stare stayed hooked on him as he drove, racing through the twists and turns of the back roads.

After about twenty minutes, Cat had noticed that they had passed a few different motels and was perplexed on why he hadn’t bothered to stop at any of them. “Niall, where are we going?”

“I’m not fuckin’ you in a motel,” he bluntly said, his eyes on the road.

Cat’s head toppled back to the seat rest and she ran her hand over his that was still clutched to her thigh. “You were gonna fuck me by the lake,” she reminded him, raising a brow.

Niall peeked over at her, a seriousness written over his face. “Cat, I’ve waited four years to be inside ya again, I’m not wastin’ it on some cheap ass motel.”

A shaky breath spilled past her lips as he flicked his eyes back to the road ahead, just the bluish beam of his headlights lighting their way. Biting at her bottom lip, Cat could feel herself aching for him, just the way he looked at her, the way he spoke to her, the way his touch felt on her skin, it was all more than she could take. She needed him inside her. Slowly tugging the bottom hem of her dress up her thighs, she spread her knees and with the guide of her fingers, eased Niall’s hand down between her legs.

The car jerked slightly as Niall glanced over to her and was instantly captivated by the seductiveness in her eyes. A rabid heat pulsed through his veins from the soft, playful look on her face. Using the press of her fingertips, Cat kept her stare on Niall as she pushed his hand harder against her. His heart was pounding in his chest as he took her lead, carefully inching the middle of her panties over to slide his fingers along her warm, wet slit. Cat’s eyes fluttered closed, her head tipping back in a shallow gasp as Niall played with her, the pads of his fingertips swirling deliciously over her swollen clit.

Her hips rolled gently against the seat as she held his hand right where she wanted him to be, coaxing him for more and more. It wasn’t long until he had two of his thick fingers pushing inside her and a barrage of whimpers and moans poured past her parted lips. Seeing Cat like that, rocking herself against his hand, completely at his mercy and falling apart just from his fingers inside her, was the sexiest thing Niall had ever witnessed. But there was no way he was going to let her finish. He was hard as rock in his pants, throbbing with his need for her, and he continued to work her, fingering her and teasing her clit until he knew she was right there, right about to spill over that blissful edge before he yanked his hand away.

Cat’s mouth dropped open in a shattered gasp, her body trembling from the loss of his touch as she cupped her hand between her legs. Her chest heaved as she strained to catch her breath and she peeled open her eyes to glare over at him, seeing a half smirk tugging at his lips. “I was so close,” she breathed out.

“I know,” he told her, licking over his lips, “but you’re not allowed to come yet.” He had done it on purpose, bringing her so close and then ripping it away like she was a bad girl being punished and she huffed out an annoyed groan, clamping her thighs together to ease the vibration of her core as she turned her attention out of the passenger window.

Niall chuckled at her reaction and adjusted himself in his pants as they continued their way back into the city.

•

They made it back to his place, the penthouse of the most luxurious condo building downtown, of course, in nearly record time. His mouth on hers as soon as the doors to the elevator slid closed behind them, her fingers cupped around the back of his neck as his hands slipped up under her dress. Cat gasped for air as his lips left hers when the elevator finally made it to his floor, opening right at his front door. She had soaked all the way through her panties by that point, and it took her a moment to gather herself as he shuffled off the elevator and over to his front door. Stepping up behind him, Cat raised to her tiptoes and slid her hands around his waist as her wet mouth attached to the side of his neck. Niall was fumbling with his keys, cursing lightly under his breath as he was more than desperate to get the girl inside his apartment.

“Fuck,” he groaned, attempting to turn the lock. Cat giggled against his neck, pleased with his reaction and her eyes watched his fingers shake as he continued to struggle. Burying her nose into the side of his throat, his skin was tepid and salty on her tongue and she hummed faintly as her small hand ran down the front of his body. Niall choked back a breath as he felt Cat palm him on the outside of his pants.

She smiled to herself, feeling just how swollen he was for her already as she wrapped her fingers around his length. Swallowing hard, Niall finally clicked the door open, but he froze, slowly turning his face to catch her stare. She was still feeling at him, his cock pulsing against the curve of her palm and he smirked. “You want it, don’t ya?”

Cat pushed the tip of her tongue to her teeth, the pads of her fingers roughly tracing down the length of him. “It’s still mine.”

“It’s still yours,” he breathed out.

Tugging Cat in front of him by her wrist, Niall cradled her face and pushed his mouth to hers in another deep kiss, leading them through the doorway and into his place. The front door eased closed and Niall had her slammed up against it, his hips rudding into hers as his tongue swept past her lips. Cat mewed against his mouth, her body vibrating with the yearning to feel him inside her and she tightened her arms around his shoulders, pressing herself harder into him. Breaking the kiss, Cat strained to catch her breath but kept her parted lips brushing at his. Niall had his hand up under her dress again, hooking her thigh at his hip as he groped roughly at her backside. “Not here,” she whispered, eyes pinching closed in a low gasp as his fingers desperately clawed at the soft, meaty flesh. A disjointed whimper spilled out of her mouth. “Your bedroom.”

Niall faintly chuckled and clasped his hands around her waist, easily hoisting her up. Cat threw her head back in a squeal and locked her heels around his bum. Her mouth was back on his a second later, eager to swallow his hot breath as he walked them to his bedroom. His strong arms were wrapped around her waist, his fingers digging into the thin material of her sundress at her lower back and pulling frantically at the fabric. Holding her hands around the sides of his face, Cat playfully nipped at his bottom lip and rolled her tongue into his mouth in a heated whine. The sound sent shivers down his spine.

As Niall entered the bedroom, the lights low with just the bright glow of the full moon cascading in from the large wall of windows, Cat barely had time to register her surroundings, her eyelids fluttering as Niall sauntered straight over to the end of the large bed and plopped her down onto the mattress. His eyes, now hauntingly dark, were on hers, his chest heaving under the lay of his linen shirt and Cat scraped her teeth across her bottom lip, drowning in the intoxicating heat of his stare. Only the rapid exhales of their breaths could be heard and after a few long, excruciating seconds of them just staring at one another, Cat slowly started to bring her knees up.

Niall’s lips parted in a low, short gasp as he watched her slip her sandals off her feet and let them drop, his fingers curling into fists at his sides in an attempt to wain the need to have his hands on her. He wanted to touch her so bad, so bad he could feel her searing into his skin, burning his flesh like an unheeded firestorm, reckless in its path. But he also wanted to wait. Watch. He wanted to savor the moment with her, savor being with her and as much as he wanted to feel her tightening around him, feel her skin melting into his as she came, he knew he had to wait. Cat, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was doing. Her chest rose high, a stuttering breath itching at the back of her throat as she rolled her head to the side. With her eyes remaining focused on his, she grabbed at the hem of her dress and carefully pooled it up around her lower tummy. Her fingers danced from her sides to the front of her hips, and she watched Niall bite furiously at his bottom lip as she stuck her thumbs into the hem of her cotton panties and started to wiggle them over her bum. She couldn’t help but giggle, the sound faint and teasing, as she slid her panties down her thighs.

Niall watched, bated breath and dark hooded eyes, as Cat let the wet, dainty fabric fall from her toe onto the ground at his feet. He swallowed hard as his stare moved from the small heap resting on the floor, back up to her face, a smirk sitting pretty on her lips. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed out, Cat raising a brow slightly at him as she spread her knees apart and slipped her hand down between her legs. Her fingertips hit her swollen clit and Cat pushed her head back in a clenched hiss, her eyelids fluttering closed. Her hips bared down into the mattress as her fingers swirled through her warm, slippery built-up wetness, her thighs shaking out of her control and her toes curling into the white duvet that laid beneath her. Whimpers flowed past her lips, as Cat played with herself right in front of Niall, teasing him, taunting him. She wanted him to want her more than he ever had. Niall strained to settle his breaths, his blue eyes swimming over her as she laid splayed out before him and it got to a point, when her two fingertips circled just right at that sensitive little nub nestled between her folds and caused a broken whine to edge from her throat that Niall couldn’t take it anymore. She was swollen, bright pink and dripping wet, just waiting for him, begging him to slide himself inside her, to fuck her and a deep grunt pushed from Niall’s chest as he leaned down and gently grabbed Cat’s hand.

The action startled her and she popped her eyes open, staring up at him. “You’re dirty little girl, teasin’ me like that,” he growled out to her, a gasp leaving her lips as Niall brought her used fingers up to his mouth. His eyes stayed on hers, darker than she had ever seen them, as he slowly slipped her coated fingers past his lips. His tongue curled around the ends, Niall sucking the taste of her off of them before he eased them from the heat of his mouth and very slowly pulled her body up to sit. Her head toppled back to her shoulders as she peered up at him, Niall slotting himself between her spread legs that hung off the end of the bed. Cat innocently tucked her bottom lip into her mouth, staying quiet as Niall bent over and began to undress her. She inhaled sharply when Niall’s face rested against the side of hers, Cat feeling as if her skin was going to melt away from the blistering heat of him hovering over her as his fingers fumbled with the back of her dress, easing down the zipper.

Niall could feel her trembling in anticipation, and he softly tipped his face down against the crook of her neck, pressing his mouth to her skin. “Niall…” she quietly mewed, as his tongue sucked across to her exposed shoulder. His eyes rolled back from the sound of his name spilling so sweetly past her lips as his big hands dragged across her lower back, curling around the thin material. Standing himself back up, Niall tugged her dress up over her head along with him.

“God, you’re fuckin’ beautiful,” he told her, his half-lidded eyes draping over her unclothed body. Cat pulled in a garbled breath, and she carefully reached behind her back to unhook her strapless bra, letting it fall onto the floor next to her dress. There was a single moment where

Niall just stood there in front of her, Cat completely naked with a parade of goosebumps floating over her skin as his stare slid from her face to her breasts to her center. It was erotic and intoxicating, overwhelmingly sensual and with the wild thumping of her heart in her chest and an ache settling deep between her thighs for him, Cat hurriedly reached out and began to undo the buttons of his pants. Her gaze, now easily matching the pitch black of his own, was glued to him, seeing the tiny flush of pink invading his cheeks and the strands of dark hair falling over his forehead and into his eyes as she yanked his pants down his legs. There was a fierceness in her motions, Niall could see it in her face, feel it in her touch and he went to unbutton his own shirt before Cat hastily swatted his hands away.

He chuckled at her eagerness, instead carding a hand up through his disheveled hair while she worked to undo each button one by one before easing the linen shirt off of his broad shoulders. Now just as naked as Cat, Niall hung his head down, watching as the girl ran her palms down the front of his body, her curious stare taking every single part of him in as her touch trailed after it. He was beautiful, stunning. The changes in his body since she had seen him last, nothing short of perfection. The soft, dark hair smattering across his toned chest, his tiny waist that was sculpted just enough that you could still sink your nails into. Her fingers gently scratched along the lines of his hips bones that led to the breathtaking landscape of his manhood; hard and thick and red-slick with his want for her. She slowly peeked back up at him, the very tip of her tongue running hungrily across her bottom lip and that was all it took for Niall to give up, clasping a hand around the back of her neck as he leaned over and hastily pushed his mouth to hers.

He crawled up onto the bed, his mouth devouring hers as he led them both further up the mattress. “I want ya so fuckin’ bad, baby,” he muttered against the delicious curl of her tongue. Cat had latched her hands up into the long strands of his hair, humming in agreement as Niall used his knee to spread her legs even more and nestle his body down between. Her head hit one of the many pillows that adorned his bed, his palm dragging from the back of her neck, over the curve of her breast to her waist and he gripped harshly at her warmed skin. A moan edged past her pouty lips as Niall eagerly rocked himself into her, his swollen cock rubbing along her slit as his lips kissed over her chin and attached to the side of her throat.

With her eyes falling closed, Cat wrapped her arms around Niall’s broad shoulders as he used his strength to lift her hip up slightly off the bed, the angle enough to let the tip of his pulsing length sit right at her opening. Pulling in a jumbled breath, she dug her nails into the smooth skin of his upper back, her body on fire, already vibrating underneath him as she waited for him to sink himself all the way inside her. Her mind was going frantic; the heat of him nearly suffocating as she buried her nose into the crook of his shoulder and he assaulted the flesh at the side of her throat with the hot-wet of his mouth. She knew it was what she wanted, it was everything that she wanted. Him. Being with him like that, just like that. And she couldn’t take it any longer–she fucking needed him. Her thighs clamped around his hips and she rolled her bottom up, encouraging him to enter her. She wanted to feel that burning stretch that she had missed so much, that she had dreamed about for so long. She wanted to feel him buried inside her once again.

A whimper burst freely past her parted lips as his fingers tangled into the side of her hair, Niall finally easing his hips towards her as he oh-so-slowly pushed his hardened length inside her warm, wet center. His body tensed as he entered her all the way, a low groan spilling out against Cat’s sticky skin as Niall began to move inside her. Her head fell back under the guide of his hand entangled in her hair, Niall rounding his back slightly as his mouth trailed down from her neck to her collarbones to her chest, his lips pinching around her supple breast. Cat’s fingers slipped up into the back of Niall’s thick brown hair, pulling at the ends as he thrust his hips harder against her and sucked across her clammy flesh, exploring all her soft, pretty parts. The feelings were building fast in her lower tummy, dancing around like a fiery flame waiting to explode and she whined as his teeth nibbled harshly the sensitive bud of her breast.

His lips popped off her nipple and he licked between the valley of her breasts as he leaned his upper body up. Cat’s fingers untangled from the strands of his hair as Niall rested back on his hunches, both his big hands curving down the length of her trembling body and grabbing tightly around her thighs as he continued to fuck into her. Easing her eyes open, Cat dreamily stared up at him as heated sparks quickly rushed through her entire body, shooting from the lingering taste of his breath on her tongue to the tips of her tightly curled toes. Tiny grunts were spitting past his parted lips as he fucked into her, sweat dripping along his dampened hairline and down his heaving chest. His stare was fixated between her spread legs, watching as he sunk himself into her over and over, her warmth devouring every impeccable inch of him. She felt so good around him like that, her center swollen and silky-wet, taking him so perfectly and Niall licked across his lips as he tipped his hips down and buried himself all the way inside her.

Cat cried out from the intense sensation, his thickness stretching her tight walls as her body started to shake under the press of his big hands. Niall shot his eyes up to her face, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he diligently watched her and she gulped back a heavy breath, unruly waves of her impending orgasm creeping up from her aching core and pouring hot over her dewy skin. Clawing her fingers into the duvet at her sides, Cat caught Niall’s stare once more, the look in his eyes sending her into a reckless fit, her body needing to him to fuck her, really fuck her. It seemed so new, so different, but harnessing that same wild heat and unrestrained passion she had felt before. But as Niall continued to push himself inside her, his fingertips bleeding into the meaty flesh at the front of her trembling thighs, Cat wanted more. She needed more.

Whining out in desperation, Cat pinched her eyes closed as she shook her head, rolling her hips harder into him. “Damn, baby,” Niall chuckled, seeing her lash out. She shuddered slightly, catching his stare again as she untangled her fingers from the soft fabric of his bed and slapped her hand down between her legs, frantically rubbing at her clit. Niall could tell her she was desperate to get off, he could feel her throbbing around him, the quivering of her body and rather than give her exactly what she so clearly wanted, instead he pulled himself nearly all the way out of her. Cat gasped from the loss of him, her brows folding in as she wildly darted her eyes with his.

Her fingers stayed swirling at her clit as her center throbbed, and Niall just watched her reaction in amusement as he rested the tip of his cock right at her entrance. He was being spiteful, menacing, purposely teasing her at that point and Cat was struggling to catch her breath, her chest heaving as she curiously stared up at him. Her lips pursed and she bucked her hips towards him, wanting him to give her more. Raising a brow, Niall obliged, slowly pushing himself inside her again and Cat moaned, her eyes rolling back at the satisfying feeling. “Niall...,” she whimpered out again, easing her stare back to his. Niall was already looking down at her, his massive hands now wrapped around the sides of her waist as he slowly, and very precisely, rocked his hips against her. His darkened eyes were stuck to hers, watching as her lips briefly parted and she choked back a breath.

“Fuck me like you did before.”

It came out as a soft whisper, humming sweetly through the thick air like a cyclone attempting to drown them and Niall licked over his lips, dragging his narrowed stare over her flushed face. “Oh, ya want it like that, huh?” he said to her, cocking his head back slightly. His hips were still thrusting against hers, the intensity nearly overwhelming Cat as she gingerly nodded her head.

“Please,” she begged under her breath, “just a little bit…”

Cat knew what she was asking for, Niall knew what she was asking for. And he had been waiting for that exact moment. Rolling his tongue in his mouth, a delicious smirk slid over his lips as he leaned himself down on top of her and placed his mouth right at her ear. Cat’s eyes fluttered shut as Niall squeezed bearishly at her waist and rolled his hips, burying himself all the way inside her, so far it almost hurt. Bringing a hand up, he curled his fingers tight into her hair by the side of her face and held her still. “Tell me how ya want me to fuck ya,” he whispered, his streamy breath sticking to the side of her neck.

Cat clawed down the slope of his back at his words, biting off a broken cry that had escaped her lips. He was heavy on top of her, their combined sweat pooling between their chests and she could barely breathe, but all she wanted was for him to fuck her, fuck her exactly like he had fucked her before. He was thrusting into her as he waited for her words, deep and steadily, but she wanted more. “Harder…” she gasped with a creaking swallow, “please…”

Niall cradled his palm around the side of her face, his thumb pressing firmly into her jaw. Sliding his stare over to look at her, he kept his mouth by her ear, just barely letting the tip of his tongue slip over her earlobe. “No, kitty cat,” he teased in that deep, filthy accent of his, “tell me exactly what ya want.”

Wrapping her hands around the back of his balmy neck, Cat brought Niall’s face flush to hers. Their gaze locked heavy, and she swallowed hard as Niall gripped her chin and brushed the tip of her nose with his own. “Tell me,” he mouthed.

Cat huffed out a low whine as she held his stare. “Fuck me,” she breathed out, “fuck me harder. Choke me, use me.” She paused, swallowing hard as she felt the cold metal of his necklace slapping against her throat. “Make me come. Make me yours.”

Niall raised a brow and gave her a faint nod. “Louder,” he demanded, thrusting roughly into her. She gasped against his parted mouth, the feverish, tempting action nearly knocking the air straight from her lungs. Slipping his fingers from the side of her face, Niall pried her hands from around the base of his neck and swung them up above her head, pinning both her wrists down into the pillow. Cat’s mouth dropped open as he ghosted his lips to hers again. She could taste him on her tongue, and she struggled to take in a decent breath under the press of his weight. Niall smirked, clamping harder to her wrists and she shivered from his dominant touch. “I wanna hear ya beg for it, baby…c’mon...”

Her eyes darted languidly with his as a fiery haziness started to invade her head. “Please,” she pleaded, her voice soft as a whisper. “Niall…please, fuck me, use me...make me yours.”

It was the last bit that was getting to Niall, that was making his heart pound uneven in his sweaty chest and his stomach tangle into knots. Hearing those words slide so richly, so intently off her tongue, it was like heaven and there was nothing else in the world that he wanted. He swallowed hard. “You wanna be mine?”

“Yes.”

“All mine? To do what I want with?”

Cat lifted her chin just enough to rest her lips to his, barely nodding. “Yes...yes, please,” she breathed out, “I’m all yours.”

Niall smirked, a devilish little smirk that sent an unparalleled rage of scorching heat pulsing over Cat’s skin before she felt his fingers drag up from their grip on her waist and tap right at her mouth. His darkened stare focused on hers as Cat anticipated his next move, gasping lightly as she felt his two fingers slip past her parted lips and push down her throat. She gagged around the stretch of his thick fingers, her eyes pinching closed before he pulled his hand away, smashing his mouth to hers. He kissed her hard, swallowing her warm spit and her rapacious whines as Cat wiggled beneath him, struggling to yank out of his strong grip. Niall chuckled at her attempt as he sucked at her tongue and held her down.

His hips went crazy; faster and harder, crashing into hers with so much force Cat swore she could see blinding lights flickering under her eyelids with each of his heavy grunts spilling down her throat. But all she could do was moan. She moaned and whimpered and took whatever it was that Niall wanted to give her. She was his. All his. And she was enjoying every single filthy little second of it.

Pulling back from the kiss, Niall leaned up slightly, Cat’s eyes easing open as she stared up at him and with his hand still holding her wrists tightly, pressing all his weight onto them, Niall reached down and grabbed under Cat’s knee, a jumbled breath filling her lungs as Niall hooked her leg onto the broad of his shoulder and sunk himself all the way inside her. The angle was unbelievable, filling her to the brim with all his perfect swollen thickness and a cry pierced past her pouty lips as she flung her head back into the pillow. He was fucking her so deep; his strokes long and slow, hitting that sweet little spot inside Cat every time his hips met hers. Niall just watched her as he moved on top of her, watched her body shake and coil up as her nipples grew harder with each thrust. He watched beads of sweat drip along her mottled flesh, his hooded stare following the trail of them down the curves of her breasts. He watched her eyes flutter closed as his public bone smacked against her clit, sensuous moans breaking out of her bared throat and Niall pushed out a groan, dropping her leg from his shoulder as he slapped a splayed hand to her lower tummy, slowly sliding his palm up the middle of her torso.

Cat’s mind was a fury, and she shook her head under the pitch black of her closed eyes just as she felt the heat of his touch cradle around her throat. She choked back a breath before his fingers tightened around the sides of her neck and he started to fuck into her just a bit faster, rolling his hips upwards as the tip of his cock hit right at her slippery upper wall. “Fuckin’ look at you,” she heard him grumble between panting breaths. “So fuckin’ gorgeous takin’ me like this.”

Cat strained to whine out under the press of his hand, her body convulsing as the unstoppable crest of her orgasm was begging to rip through her. Her center was hot and pulsating, her wetness spilling out of her with every pull of his cock and she began to tremble, her chest burning with the need for air as her body quickly, and unrelentlessly, started to give into her much needed release. It was fast, sneaking up on her with a velocity of a thousand lightning bolts charging through her wasted body all at once. Niall continued to fuck into her, not letting up, the sweet whines that cracked from her pinched throat, her beautiful writhing body urging him on and Cat popped her eyes open and caught his stare just as she hit her peak, her mouth hung idle with the silence held at the tip of her tongue. Her face was bleeding red, her eyes rolling back as Niall buried himself deep inside her and unclamped his hand from her throat.

She gasped, fully giving into her frantic orgasm as it finally over took her entire sweat-coated body. Slipping his other hand from her wrists, Niall hovered above her with both his palms pressed into the bed beside her head as he slowed his thrusts, languidly pushing inside her. Cat moaned out his name, the sound coming out soft from her dry throat and her sticky chest heaved as she struggled to find her breath. Peering up at him, she carefully brought her arms back down and wrapped her hands around his forearms that rested right next to her face. They stayed like that for a moment, all starry-eyed as they stared at one another, soaking up the feeling of Cat pulsing around him as he just barely moved his hips.

“Fuck yes,” she breathed out, turning her face to press a tiny kiss to the inside of his wrist. It was a sweet gesture and Niall fought the racing of his heart. “You’re so good.”

Huffing out a short chuckle at her words, Niall confidently smirked down at her and Cat couldn’t help but smile, a slight bashfulness taking over. He looked so pretty above her like that, ethereal, like a God with his brown hair sweeping into his eyes, his skin shiny and patchy red, covered in sweat. His gaze was dark and salacious, full of lust and an uncontrollable need for her. She had just had one of the best orgasms of her life, but she could already feel the heat starting to build again just from looking up at him. Niall reached over and gently brushed away some matted hair that was stuck to Cat’s forehead, a tender touch to her hot skin before he grabbed around her chin and leaned down, pushing his lips to hers. He kissed her, kissed her deep and with purpose and Cat snaked her arms around his shoulders, curling her fingers up into the back of his dampened hair.

Inching away slightly, Niall caught her stare again. “I’m not done with you yet,” he told her, a gasp leaving her mouth as Niall shoved an arm up under the arch of her back and yanked her up from the bed. Cat tightened her arms around his shoulders as Niall rested back on his knees and eased her wrecked little body into his lap. He was still buried inside her, the quick motions of him sliding her into his lap not letting him leave the warmth of her for even a second. Niall squeezed his forearm around her lower back, holding her taunt to him as he tangled his other hand into the back of her hair. Cat’s mouth was back on his, eager to kiss him. She sucked at his tongue, nipped at his lower lip and swallowed his hot, panting breaths as he thrust his hips into hers.

Cat felt the prickles of her next orgasm bubbling wild in her lower tummy, Niall moving faster and sloppier inside her with each minute that passed. She knew he was working himself to his own release, needing to feel that same nearly insurmountable high as Cat had just felt and she cupped her hands around his sweaty neck, whining against his tongue. She started to move with him, her hips rocking to meet his and Niall could feel this change in her, feel her center starting to clench up around him, swollen and warm and he dug his fingertips into the side of her waist, his grip tangling tighter into her hair as he gently tugged her head back. Cat let out a curdled cry as her head fell to her shoulders, her eyes pinching shut and her nails scratching helplessly at his scalp. Niall pushed his wet-hot mouth to her neck, slinking his tongue over the hollow of her throat as he bit hard at the soft skin. Cat sucked back a jilted breath at the feeling, her body starting to tremble and shake against him with each perfect meet of their hips. She was already close again, so fucking close, the fire igniting in her belly and swarming like a fuse throughout her and she rocked harder against him, her arms curling tighter around his shoulders.

His grunts grew more desperate as his lips travelled over her sticky skin, lapping up the beads of sweat that were painted across her naked body. He sucked along the span of her shoulder, his grown-in beard roughing her tender flesh as the scent of his body heat, thick and musty with arousal, seeped into her nose. He held her tighter as she attempted to rub herself against him, and it was so tight Cat almost couldn’t breathe and she brought her face down, moving her arms to hug around his neck. “Fuck...f-fuck,” Niall moaned out in his gruff voice, his thrusts becoming even rougher. Cat squeezed her eyes closed and buried her face down against his broad shoulder as Niall’s mouth hung open right at the slope of her neck. Curling his fingers into the thick of her hair, Cat whined out as her body started to shake, that familiar heat surging over her skin as the waves of her impending release teetered right at the brink, just teasing her to spill over. She struggled to breathe, struggled to swallow back the spitting cries that were being forced past her lips and just before he was able to coerce her begging body over that blissful edge once more, Niall stiffened inside her. His muscular frame tensed within her hold, his sticky body coiling up and gripping tight to her as he finally reached his well-deserved high.

A low growl of her name spilled from his mouth onto the side of her neck and Cat gasped as she felt him come inside her. She could feel the warm streams of his load filling her up, thick and slippery, something she had never experienced before and her eyes fluttered as she slowly started to roll against him, wanting him to completely empty himself inside her. There was something about it, something about feeling his sticky, hot cum inside her that turned her on even more. It was filthy, obscene. So fucking sexy. And she couldn’t get enough of him.

“Holy shit,” Niall barely groaned out, jerking his hips as he finished, “shit...fuck, baby…” His big hand was cupped at the back of her head and he held her quivering body against his, sweetly kissing along the span of her shoulder. He was being soft with her, but Cat wasn’t done. She whimpered at him, rolling her hips against his that had all but stopped moving at that point. Lifting her lips to his ear, Cat swallowed hard as she gripped her hands at his sweat-coated upper back. “Stay inside me,” she breathed out, “please…”

Her body wriggled against him, throbbing around his spent cock as tiny desperate whines purged from her throat. Niall knew she wasn’t done. He knew, without a doubt, she wanted more.

Lifting his mouth from the crook of her neck, Niall brought her face to his. Her eyes, half-lidded and glassy, locked on his and Niall drifted his stare over her delicate features, his hot mouth hovering at hers. Cat grinded against him. “You wanna come again, don’t ya?” he teased as the young woman faintly nodded.

Niall smiled and pressed his lips to hers. Before Cat could even properly kiss him back, he pulled away and had her tossed to the mattress on her stomach. It happened so quick that Cat barely had time to even process what was happening, the side of her face smashed into the bed as Niall fumbled around behind her, roughly grabbing at her hips with his wide palms and lifting her bottom up just a bit. Cat sharply inhaled, twisting her fingers into the blankets beneath her, preparing for what he was about to do to her. A broken cry left her lips, laced with soft desperation as her center ached with the need to feel him inside her, to have him make her come all over again. She could feel his warm load seeping from her opening, dripping down her slit and just as Cat went to turn her head to peer back at him, the unmistakable wet-hot of his mouth cupped around her heat.

A gasp shuddered past her parted lips, soaking into the white duvet as Niall slipped his tongue along her folds, eating hungrily at her. Her body shook as he curled his lips around her clit, sucking hard as his fingertips dug into the supple flesh of her bottom. He held her still and spread her open, licking and sucking and tasting at her, Cat rocking her bum back against him as she wordlessly pleaded for more. Her tummy sunk in, her eyes fluttering closed as she started to feel the wicked pangs of her release itching across her clammy skin once more. Niall hummed as he slurped over her swollen folds, sinking his tongue down inside her. Twisting her head forward to bury her face down into the duvet, Niall had just moved his mouth to suckle her clit before she felt the warmth of his mouth dissipate and the delicious stretch of his cock push inside her once again.

She cried out, fisting rough at the blankets as the weight of Niall’s sticky body consumed her. He was back on top of her, his hips slowly rolling into hers as he began to fuck into her. She almost couldn’t fixate on anything she was feeling; him, his thick body on top of her, how he felt so fucking good inside her, his hot breath panting out onto the back of her damp neck. It was all too much, overwhelming and out-of-this-world intense, and before she knew it, Niall had sucked a trail up the side of her throat. “This what ya remember, huh? This what ya want?” he asked her, his voice gravelly in her ear. “Me fuckin’ ya just like this?”

Cat moaned at his lewd words, the memories of being pinned down on that cold, hard desk as Niall roughly fucked into her from behind, gagging her with his thick fingers and making her come around him, instantly sent a wildfire soaring through her body. She writhed uncontrollably under him, gasping back needed breaths as he continued to move on top of her. God, she needed to come again so bad. His thrusts picked up, feeling the way she was reacting to him, and Niall reached up and wrapped her hair around his fist, easing her head up off the bed.

Cat’s mouth dropped open in shocked silence, her eyes fluttering as Niall slapped his hips against her bottom, fucking into her even rougher than before. He felt so fucking good and it made her squirm. “This is how ya want it, baby?” he growled out to her, sucking feverishly along her neck.

“Yes...God, yes…” she choked out.

“Like bein’ me dirty little girl, don’t ya? Takin’ my big cock so good…”

Another seedy moan edged from her throat and the sound made Niall smirk against her skin. “I wanna come,” Cat begged, barely a whisper between her heavy gasps, “please Niall...I wanna come so bad.”

Niall swallowed hard at the sweet, pleading sound of her voice, something about hearing her beg him, hearing her wanting him so bad, wanting him to make her come, it made him weak. He was so goddamn weak for her. “Fuck, kitty cat,” he moaned, settling his mouth back at her neck as he took a hand and shoved it under her tummy.

His hips slowed a bit, fucking into her with long, deep thrusts as his hand slipped down between her spread legs. Cat cried out as she felt the pads of his two fingers start to circle at her clit. Niall had eased her face back down, hovering over her as his puffy lips stayed resting at the corner of her open mouth. She breathed heavy as he continued to fuck her, slow and steady, the tip of his hardened length hitting perfectly inside her swollen center as his fingertips played with her sensitive little nub. Her mind was frazzled, wicked and drenched with the sensations that were quickly consuming her entire fucked-out body and it was when Niall softly brushed some strands of her hair away from the side of her face, tiny kisses being planted to the crease of her mouth, that she knew something was different. His big hand was cradling her head as he pushed inside her, his hot breath mixing with her own as they perfectly moved together and a smile started to tug at the corner of her lips.

His eyes were stuck to her as he rested his forehead at her temple. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed out, “so fuckin’ beautiful. God, baby, I-...” he paused, swallowing hard as he gathered his breath. Cat faintly moaned as he buried himself deep inside her. She was right there, so close fucking close to coming she could taste it on the tip of her tongue, her center clenching hard around him. But all she wanted in that split second was to hear his voice. “I missed bein’ inside ya so much.”

Unfolding her fist from the white blanket, Cat reached behind her and curled her fingers into the back of his hair. “Couldn’t stop thinkin’ bout ya, ‘bout fuckin’ ya just like this,” Niall went on, “all I wanted...was to be with ya again, feel ya around me, sinkin’ into ya, baby.”

A low whimper poured from her lips and Cat rocked her body back into him, the last little thing she needed before she felt her body lose all control. She slowly writhed under him, under the heat of his thick, strong body, her toes curling and her shaken breaths stalled in her risen chest as he continued to fuck into her, riding her through her intoxicating, mind-numbing high. Broken moans bounced off his stark walls and filled their ears as Niall kept his stare on her, urging her through with the steady, skilled rocks of his hips. His fingers moved between her folds, the warm wetness of her orgasm slick as it spilled out around him and onto his hand. Cat called out his name, over and over, as she succumbed to him, to all that he was giving her, her desired release long and nearly paralyzing, the intense heat crawling over her wrecked body and biting at her flushed skin as she trembled uncontrollably against him. She had come hard, harder and more thoroughly than she had before and she didn’t even know that was possible. And with the mind-blowing sensation of her letting go around him again, it was only a fraction of a moment before Niall was hitting his own second release, much more soft and subdued that time. Cat couldn’t help but smile at the intimate feeling.

“Oh my God,” she finally mumbled, both having barely come down. Cat strained to find her full breaths as Niall eased his hips to a stop. “I-...I’ve never felt like that before. With anyone.”

Her eyes were still closed, Cat reeling in the over-heightened feelings of her powerful orgasm as Niall chuckled against her. He pressed his lips to the side of hers. “Good,” he said, slowly pulling his hand out from under her. The loss of his touch between her legs made Cat whine, and Niall smiled down at her. “I love makin’ ya feel like that.”

Niall stayed resting inside her for a few minutes, sweetly kissing along her jaw and shoulder as she continued to come down, her sticky body relishing in the cool air of his bedroom. Contented hums slipped past her lips, a blissful smile following as she finally was able to catch her breath. She had never felt so satisfied, so purely whole, before in her entire life, he had outdone himself and they were both blatantly aware of that fact. Niall, on the other hand, had never felt with anyone the way he was feeling with Cat in that very moment. He had never felt happy, so fulfilled, so...absolutely in love. Twisting her fingers into his damp hair, Cat lifted her face from the mattress just enough so she could fully kiss him. She needed to kiss him. She needed to taste his breath on her tongue and feel the beautiful heat of his mouth. Niall eagerly kissed her back, and it wasn’t long before he had slipped himself from her and turned her body over in his arms. Curling up in his bed, they tenderly kissed until their lips were sore and their naked bodies nearly listless. They stay snuggled together under the warm covers, a sated, simple quiet filling the room between the last few soft kisses until they both drifted off to sleep.

•

Sometime in the middle of the night, Cat awoke. Her eyes blinked open, struggling to adjust to the dark room and she wrinkled her brow, unsure as to where she was before everything came flooding back to her. Peeking over to her left, she caught a glimpse of Niall. He was laying on his back, perfectly still as he slept, his chest rising with the soft ebb and flow of his steady breaths. He looked so pretty, his dark brown hair all disheveled and swept across his forehead as his tiny eyelashes rested daintily on his cheeks. But there was nothing dainty about that man. Sweet in his own ways, soft in others, but he was rough and dirty, and eager and good, and as the thoughts of just a few hours prior started to swim around in her head, Cat suddenly felt the soreness that had settled between her legs. Niall had fucked her, really fucked her, fucked her better than she had ever had before and the girl chewed at her lip as her stare lazily dragged over him, the only thought left in her mind was what was going to happen between them now.

Deciding that she needed some water, her mouth unnaturally dry–she assumed from the endless moans and many frantic kisses shared–Cat very carefully untangled her naked body from his and out from under the covers. She sat at the edge of the bed for a moment, finally being able to take in the sight of the room she had been holed up in all night. Her stare didn’t know what to focus on first; the expansiveness of the space with its decadent art pieces adorning one of the walls, the large expanding floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the cityscape or the enormous bed that she had just been laying in. Cat twisted around, peeking back at Niall. He hadn’t moved a single muscle. And still looked just as cute, just as breathtakingly gorgeous as ever. She smiled down into the round of her shoulder and a slight chill broke out over her bare skin.

Scraping her teeth over her dry bottom lip, Cat eased up from the bed and peered around the floor, grabbing the first thing she saw to cover herself up with. It was Niall’s linen button up. She slid her arms into the shirt as she quietly stepped over to the window, just letting the thin material hang open down her body. It was a bit short, just barely covering her bum, but it did the trick for the time being and she tipped her head to the side as she flicked her wide, curious stare out across the city’s rooftops. It was beautiful, the bright flickering neon lights, the wiz of the cars zooming through the dark streets and Cat stood there, arms crossed over her front for a few more minutes, soaking up the beautiful scene in front of her before tip-toeing out of the bedroom.

She didn’t really remember how they had gotten back to his bedroom; her attention, and her mouth, stuck to Niall on the way in, but it wasn’t hard to find her way back out into the open floor plan of his two-story condo. If she had thought his bedroom was spacious, she didn’t even know what to do the second her bare feet hit the threshold of his main living space. Another enormous wall of windows overlooking the city, the space decorated just how she had imagined it would be, much like Niall’s office. Modern and sleek, incredibly expensive, with only a few punches of color amongst the dark tonal colors, it was unreal. There was no questioning that Niall was a wealthy man.

“Holy shit,” Cat breathed out to herself with a short giggle, tucking some unruly hair behind her ear. She stepped forward, making her way through the open living room and into the kitchen. There were a few lights on, just really soft dim lighting under the cabinets that she assumed accented the atmosphere of his home, so she was able to easily find her way to the fridge. Niall had a few glass bottles of water resting along the shelf in the door and Cat eagerly helped herself to one. Unscrewing the metal cap, Cat shuffled over to the long kitchen island, facing out towards his living room as she put the rim of the bottle to her lips and took a nice, slow sip. Her eyes fluttered closed as she tilted her head back, letting the cold refreshing liquid slip down her dry throat. She had never tasted water that good before.

The girl must have lost herself in the water for a moment, as it was only when she heard the faint clearing of a throat that she shot her eyes open, bringing her chin back down. It was Niall. Standing just at the threshold of the kitchen, in nothing but a tiny pair of white boxers. Licking her lips, Cat smiled at him, her stare noticeably dragging over the exquisitely intricate lines of his toned body. He was by far the most gorgeous man she had ever laid eyes on. And she was pretty sure he knew it too.

“Thirsty?” Niall commented.

Cat wrinkled her brows and flicked her gaze back up to his. “Huh?” He nodded towards the bottle of water in her hand as he stepped over to the kitchen counter, pulling out a stool to sit down. Cat peered down at the bottle that was gripped in her hand. “Oh...yeah,” she giggled in response.

Niall leaned in, resting his forearms on the edge of the counter. His tired, half lidded eyes stayed on hers, those hypnotizingly ocean blue eyes that Cat just couldn’t seem to get away from. As much as she knew she should. She quickly took another sip of water. Niall gaffed and tipped his head down, running his fingers through his mess of hair. “Cat, can I be honest?” he then blurted out.

Swallowing down the frigid water that was held in her mouth, Cat faintly nodded as she set the bottle down on the counter in front of her. His eyes darted heavy with hers and for a moment, Cat almost couldn’t breathe. She didn’t like that feeling. Not when she had an idea what was coming next. “I wanna be with you,” he said bluntly.

She dropped her stare, mainly because the intensity of his was eating at her skin, and tucked some fallen hair behind her ear. “I...can’t,” she muttered, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip as she annoyingly picked at the paper label of her bottled water.

“Why?”

“Because, I-…we shouldn’t,” she said.

Niall shook his head. “Listen, if it's this boyfriend of yours,” he started, Cat catching his stare again, “ya know it’s not real, it can’t be. And ya know I can fuck ya better, you know I can treat ya better. Better than anyone.”

Rolling her eyes, Cat huffed out a breath as she rubbed over her forehead. She knew it had gone on long enough, and she had no choice but to tell him. She couldn’t keep lying to him. It was tearing her up inside. “Look, Niall…” Cat paused, already frustrated and needing to collect her thoughts before continuing, “I’ve got to tell you something and I don’t want you to get mad at me.”

He narrowed his stare at her as he listened, not sure where the conversation was headed. “I, um…” Cat fiddled with a button on his shirt, tugging the airy material tighter around her chest, hoping it was covering her bare breasts. “I don’t really have a boyfriend.”

“What?” he scoffed.

Cat flicked her eyes up to his, she could see the confusion pulling at his face. His lips dropping open, his eyes scouring over hers, like he was desperately searching for answers. It nearly broke her heart. “I was-, fuck, I don’t even know now why I did it,” she started, plopping her elbows down to the countertop as she covered her face with her hands. “I guess, I said that hoping it would keep a distance between us. To...keep myself from...falling for you.”

Niall’s brows drew in further. He wasn’t even mad that she had lied, just more than confused at that point. He never knew what was going on inside that girl’s head, and it frustrated the hell out of him. “Cat, why would ya wanna do that?”

“Are you kidding me?” she shot back, scrunching her face in. “You told me yourself that you don’t do serious girlfriends. You’ve slept with half the city, Niall. I know you. I know how you are and I know that I was to ever get involved with you, really involved... it wouldn’t end well for me.”

Niall darted his stare over hers for a second as he stayed quiet before he pushed out a long sigh, Cat watching as he hung his head down. She sucked in a deep breath, instantly feeling horrible for all of the shit that had just spewed from her mouth. She hadn’t meant for it to come out like that, not in that way and definitely not after the night they had just had. But she also didn’t know how else she was supposed to get it across to him. He was stubborn, persistent and with guys like Niall, sometimes it was just easier to rip the bandaid off fast. It was better for both of them that way. No matter how she actually felt.

And as much as she needed to get all of that off her chest, she hated seeing him upset. It hurt her heart looking over at him, slouched over his countertop with his head hanging between his shoulders. He didn’t say a word, not a single word and Cat couldn’t take it anymore. Shuffling around the kitchen island, she stepped over to him and cradled her hand to the side of his face, her thumb rubbing over his bearded jaw. “I’m sorry, Niall,” she whispered, “I didn’t mean it like that, I–”

“That’s exactly how ya meant it,” he mumbled.

Cat let out a soft sigh. “No, it’s not. Not at all. I like you, okay?” she went on, “I really...I really do like you. What I feel for you is–...I can’t even explain it, and I don’t know how to make any sense of it. I never meant to lie to you, but I’m just-...I didn’t know what else to do. I’m trying to protect myself, okay? I have to.”

Niall flung his head up as he looked over at her, his body following his movements. His knees bumped hers and she herself slotted between his spread legs, facing each other. “Protect yourself from what?” he asked, brow furrowed. “How I feel about ya? How I make ya feel?”

Cat shook her head. “You’re gonna get tired of me, Niall.”

“No.”

“Yes, you are,” she told him, exasperation idle in her voice, “you’re gonna get tired of me. You’ll get tired of me and you won’t want me anymore and it will just-...I won’t be able to take it, okay? Not from you. It will break my heart.”

And there it was. The real reason why she was scared. Why she was so intent on holding him at a distance. Why she had lied to him in the first place. Her feelings for him were much deeper than she was letting on, much deeper than maybe she even wanted to admit. Niall huffed out a deep breath and reached up, cupping his hands around the sides of her face. Cat’s gaze met his, and she nearly wanted to burst out crying. She didn’t even know why. “Listen to me,” he began, his brows raised as he stared at her through the tops of his eyes, “I will never get tired of you. I couldn’t. Cat, you are all that I think about, all the bloody fuckin’ time. I can’t get ya out of me head. Shit, I don’t want to. You, love, you are what I want. You have always been what I wanted. I have loved ya since the first time ya looked at me and havin’ ya back in me life these past few weeks, it’s just made me realize that I am nothin’...nothin’ without you.”

His words slid over her ears, so sweet and so pure, it was hard to believe it was coming from Niall. But it was, and it made her heart soar. She was so intent on the thought of him breaking her heart, on not feeling the same way for her that she did for him, that she hadn’t even thought of the possibility that he, Niall Horan, had real, honest, true and undeniable feelings for her. She swallowed hard, resting her hands to his chest as he went on. “The reason why I haven’t had a serious girlfriend is not ‘cause I didn’t want one, not ‘cause I wanted to go out and fuck everyone, Cat...it’s ‘cause none of them were you.”

A heavy breath eased past Cat’s lips and she knew there was no way she could hold in the tears that had worked their way to the brims of her eyes. Her eyelids fluttered closed, her chin wobbling as a tear slid down her cheek. She softly giggled, her nerves getting the better of her and Niall gently wiped the tear away as he stood up and pushed his forehead to hers. “Baby, none of them were you.”

Dragging her hands across the span of his bare chest, Cat gingerly shook her head and just barely eased her chin up, bringing her mouth to his. She kissed him, kissed him soft and then deeper, wrapping her arms around his body as a few more tears slipped down her face. Niall might have shed a tear or two as well, not being one to shout that from the rooftops, but Cat felt the wetness on her skin as he buried his face against her neck when he pulled her into a tight hug.

“So, you’ll be mine then?” Niall spoke up once more after a few quiet moments, inching back slightly from her embrace.

Cat smiled up at him, reaching up to brush some hair from his eyes. They were too pretty to cover up. “Niall James, I was always yours. From the first time you kissed me. Besides…how on earth could I say no after that?”

He snorted. “I’m sure you’d find a way…”

She pinched her eyes closed in a faint laugh. “Not this time,” she whispered, urging him into another kiss. His tongue curled around hers, and Cat sweetly whined before just barely pulling back. “So...I heard you, like, love me or something...”

Niall cocked his head back, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Oh, ya did, did’ya?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, with a faint shrug.

He breathed out a soft smile, one that made her heart nearly explode. “Well, ya heard right. I fuckin’ love you, Cat.”

“I love you, too, Niall,” she replied, her eyes dancing over his, “I always have, even though I spent the last four years trying to fight it.”

With his brow raising, Niall licked across his lips. “Figured that. I always knew ya loved me,” he said.

“You’re just being cocky now,” Cat rolled her eyes, her fingernails raking down the slope of his back. “You didn’t know shit.”

Niall laughed. “Of course I did, petal. Just had to get you to admit it,” he said. Pulling himself away slightly, he slipped his gaze down her scantily covered frame. She was on full display, nothing being hidden by the material of his shirt at that point. A familiar heat began to crawl over Cat’s exposed skin, Niall’s wild blue eyes bleeding dark as the intensity of his stare grew with each passing second that he looked over her. She knew that look all too well. “And I also know…” he paused, slipping one of his hands inside the hem of his open shirt that adorned her body. She faintly gasped as he groped at her breast, rubbing his fingertips across her pert nipple. His playful touch burned at her sensitive flesh and he peered back up at her.

Niall thumbed at her bottom lip as he leaned in close. “...we got a lot more fuckin’ to do, kitty cat.”

Cat bit off the bashful smile that was etching across her lips, her cheeks punching a bright pink. Niall chuckled amusingly at her reaction and took her hand in his, kissing sweetly across her knuckles before leading the way back to his bedroom. And as Cat held his fingers within hers, watching the muscles in his back move as he walked in front of her and felt the soreness between her legs dissipate as that uncompromisable need for him took over, all she could think about was the fact that he was hers. All hers. Hers to kiss and touch, to play with and fuck. To laugh with, and cry with and cuddle and enjoy. Hers to make love to. Hers to love.

And it was so much better than a million hot and sticky nights spent at summer camp.

Without your love, I’m jaded, going crazy, come save me,

Hearts beating, not breathing, I’m breathing...

#niall #niall horan #niall fic #niall fan fic #niall horan fanfic #niall smut #niall oneshot #oneshot #smut #nothing except for your love #part 2 summer camp #THIS IS IT GUYS!!!#its a loooong one so settle in and buckle up lol #i really really hope you enjoy it #please share and share some more!#let me know what you think #also the song is linked in the title so ...ya know give it a listen to get the feel for the fic if you want :)#did you like this better than the first part? haah #and as always thank you SO MUCH for reading :)

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sparkycanteven · 3 years

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Since I recently turned the big 4-0, I think I can say a few things about the Xennial Generation and I don't think I'm wrong. This is going to get long, politically, and socially ranty so strap in my dudes and if you don't like what you're reading? Remember, it's an observation on the world at large. I'm still entitled to my opinion as you are entitled to yours.

We contributed exactly SHIT to the world. Why? Probably because our Gen X older siblings were too busy crying about Mommy and Daddy's divorce to actually fucking teach us anything, but no, I'm not going to lay the blame solely at the feet of Gen-X'ers for this because after a certain age we all became accountable... boy did we become accountable.

We elected two of the worst Presidents of all time, why? The first time because it was the year 2000 and Daddy wouldn't pay for college if we dated to vote democrat, surprise the economy tanked and we had to get student loans anyway - how's Daddy's money now? Is it helping you pay off those student loans? No, but Daddy can say he's proud, right? Right.

Then 2016 rolled around and we realized that we were in our 30's and had our grown-up money and no longer had to depend on our parents but oh, we were too razzle-dazzled by a former reality TV host because when has reality TV ever steered us wrong and he was so good on The Apprentice we saw him run a business it'll be just like running a country, right?

We watched him run it alright, we watched him run it right into the motherfucking GROUND! And we did nothing to stand by and stop it, rather, we were too busy letting Dad, Grandad, and weird-ass Uncle Fred have his last say in our political matters because it couldn't be that bad, right? But it was, we put blinders on and refused to see the fact that we had a war for 20 years that went nowhere and still didn't get the result we wanted. (By the way, what result *was* that, exactly? I wasn't too clear. If you were aiming to get the terrorists - hello they still exist!) We had several economic collapses that's resulted in the majority of us either in student or medical debt up to our fucking eyeballs (some of us, both!) and all because of what?

Oh by the way, what did the class of 2000 contribute to the world? FACEBOOK. Yeah, that's right, we created facebook. Which started out as a glorified 'social networking' (ahem, HOOKUP) app for college students so that they could skirt around their purity culture steeped boomer ass parents who spent the majority of the 90's and early 00's guarding our collective virginity (what the actual fuck was that for? I do not remember Boomers getting this protective over Gen X's purity at all. Were we all going to be gathered up for a Y2K virgin sacrifice to Cthulu or something?) or at least attempting to by forcing youth group culture on us which has backfired and resulted in a lot of peeps actually leaving the church because in the end it wasn't a question of sexual integrity - it was a case of villifying sexuality in general unless it was in the confines of a heterosexual marriage. A lot of which have crumbled now because half the kids who grew up steeped in this culture have either discovered that they bound themselves to the wrong partner, or that they were a different sexuality all along and just forced to repress it to suit boomer parental narratives.

But getting back to what us Xennials contributed...

We created facebook.

Who's original intent was just a social media site for us, but we got a little lonely and we grew up a little and realized that the world was not going to come to an end if Mommy and Daddy knew that we had someone over at our dorm late at night, so we invited them to use it too and before long, Boomers took over facebook with their qanon BS and that is partially why we are in the SHITSPACE that we are in now.

Did every boomer contribute? No, definitely not, but did a lot of them contribute and we didn't do anything to stop it? Yes. Why? No really, tell me why, I'll wait!

We were waiting on their approval, that's why. We were the doormats, we were the 'good kids' we didn't burn out and openly disappoint them like our Gen X older siblings, we tried to do everything right and it fucked us over in the end anyway. The thing is... it's not an exclusively Boomer problem. It's not an exclusively Xennial Problem. It should not be a Gen Z problem but that's what it's looking like and to you guys - I am so sorry but we were lazy ass fucks and if no one else ever admits it to you? I will. I'm sorry.

You know what the problem is? Falling in line without question, because so many of us did. So many of us trusted our parents' generation and didn't take into account one thing - that they were human too and that ultimately... we needed to do that one thing, that one message that was always preached, but seemed to get lost in those childhood 1980's cartoons and movies.

Trusting ourselves. Cuz let's face it, we didn't. Even when the evidence that we should was staring us right straight in the face, we didn't trust ourselves at all. I realize that everybody's experience was different, and this is largely just an observation, but what Xennial hasn't been told to "keep going" and did so without question until you either physically or mentally broke? We were good cogs, but even the best machines eventually wear out and break... and we're seeing more and more of it now.

I'll end on this observational note: We ended up being the Boomers' buttmonkeys. I implore the rest of my generation to FUCKING STOP. Thanks.

#xennial #millenial #i'msorrygenz #okboomer #enoughisenough #politics #antipurityculture #liberal

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someonewhowannadielol · 4 years

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inevitable love (Yandere!Taehyung x SmolBaby!Reader)

You obviously couldn’t take care of yourself, so Kim Taehyung took matters in his own hands. Literally.

Warning: Harassment, loads of capitalism (kinda ironic that I hate capitalism, considering I’m an Econ student sigh), big dog chase idrk, y/n complains a lot lmao also she’s textbook smart but lowkey dumb,,, like me, I'm literally y/n anywaYS

CHAPTER ONE (Honestly, its more of a prologue)

P.S Sorry, this one's mostly focused on Y/N, I promise Taehyung will make it in the next chap!

Word Count: 1.4k

This was ridiculous. You had graduated from one of the finest business schools in the world, yet, here you were, sitting in your shabby studio apartment, listening to another rejection after the countless job interviews while watching the paint peel off the walls. You never really thought life would lead to this, you sitting here on your mattress, eating (probably uncooked) ramen, and crossing another job opportunity. The ramen wasn’t that bad, there were no complaints about it from your side anyways, because you couldn’t cook for shit and any food other than premade food was a waste in this household. You still have nightmares about the incident when you accidentally forgot to take off the plastic packaging off the sliced cheese before making a cheese sandwich in the microwave. Only to watch the microwave - and the cheese – explode in front your eyes. The poor baby.

Glancing at your watch, you realize that you have to head downtown to your job – which was paid under minimum wage, but it did make you better off than the homeless, and the jobless. You could still afford at least one meal a day (Was cup ramen considered a meal?) and the chef at the diner would sneakily give you food, sigh, he was so nice. Sometimes, you look back, and think where things went wrong. You were basically a child genius, always a couple classes ahead of your peers, you got almost got a perfect score on the SAT at the first try (it was a 1560!), you got your bachelor’s degree at the age of 18, instead of the usual 22. You look back and see how you used to think that you could afford a luxurious penthouse apartment in Manhattan and pay off your student loans within a year, while working in one of the best companies in world.

You did have the textbook knowledge, but who was there to teach you about the practical world? The real world? The textbooks didn’t teach you how to pay your water and electricity bills, they didn’t teach you how to hold your tears back when the landlord puts a suggestive hand on your waist, they didn’t teach you how to accept countless rejections, or how to use coupons while grocery shopping, or how to ignore the everyday catcalls, or how to walk through the streets at night. They didn’t teach you how to cope with the fact that your father died but you didn’t have enough money for a flight back to your hometown, they didn’t teach you how to not shout at your mother who got a new family, they didn’t teach you the reality.

So, here you were, two years later, serving disgusting men who harassed you, while wearing a skirt that was too short for your liking and heels that made your feet ache every single day. Somehow, it was worse today. Your hair wouldn’t co-operate, your mascara had officially dried out and no amount of contact solution could revive it from its flaky texture, your manager basically manipulated you to wear red lipstick, and these goddamn heels won’t stop hurting your feet.

At this point, I’m just going to die from the chronic feet pain, you thought.

It was just an endless day of serving, picking up dirty dishes, and of course, ignoring the occasional disgusting words of “endearment” from your customers. You were just picking up the mess of ketchup left by a couple of rowdy boys who sat here 15 minutes earlier, repeatedly asking for your number. Interesting enough, despite all the catcalling, you can only recall four people asking for your number.

The first one had been a wannabe bike rider, he was tall, around 6’4 – give or take – and quite chunky with a full curly beard down to his chest. Despite knowing some people who would dig this vibe, you personally didn’t love the entire ensemble. In fact, you cringed whenever you saw these people perform their tricks on the streets (You cringed even more when you saw them fall and smash their head open. Yikes).

You remember, it was your third day at the newly acquired job, and while you weren’t all that ecstatic to start working here (You were already looking for other, more well paid jobs with more benefits), you still respected the job requirement and went up to the customer and asked, “What would you like to order, sir?” in your sweetest voice possible.

“Well, what’s on the special menu?”

Special menu? You weren’t informed about any special menu, maybe your manager forgot to tell you?

“I’m sorry, I’m quite new here, I’ll go confirm this special menu with my manager,” and just as you tried to go to your manager – who by the way had been keeping an eye on you since you got here, you could say she wasn’t exactly fond of you – scary biker dude grabbed your wrist, a little too tight to be called comfortable, and you couldn’t help but wince.

“Oh sweetheart, you’re the first and only item on the special menu. And I’d like to order that, with a side of Vanilla milkshake,”

Okay, crinnngggeee.

And then, as impossible as it seemed, you were forced to smile and laugh it off, even if it disgusted you to the core. And then, you were manipulated to hand over your phone number.

Just go with the flow, Y/N, just go with the flow. Block it later, no worries.

He was known to be a usual customer, but surprisingly, he didn’t actually ever come to the diner after that, nor did he call you. Now that you notice, no one you gave your number to, actually did call you. Whether it was the biker, or the druggie, or the 50-year-old man who promised to buy you a yacht. Eh, he was so old, he probably died on his way home. So, you never knew whether to take it as an insult, or a blessing.

Well, this day was almost over until 5 minutes before closing down, a bunch of people, who were probably high, because of the unmistakable scent of weed coming from them – came and demanded to be served. Of course, the manager could score any penny she could, so of course, you were forced to work overtime again. Without getting paid.

Finally, a little after 1am, you could take off these horrid heels and slip into the much comfier sketchers. Sure, you had glued them a couple of times, and sure, they kept on breaking because you’ve had them since high school, but it’s okay. You’ll live.

You were halfway down the route to your house, as you tried to rub your fingers together and somehow magically take away the freezing wind this cold night brought. As you walked, you attempted to feel your phone in your back pocket – annddd just when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse. You’d probably left it back in your locker or your apron’s pocket and for a second you contemplated whether it would be worth it to go all the way back at 2am to get you phone. You almost decided against it, but remembered that you would get the confirmation call from the job interview you gave on Thursday, anytime tomorrow. And so, you decided to go back. Well, this was one of the worst decisions of your life. Scratch that, it was the worst decision of your life.

You reached the diner in approximately 10 minutes, but obviously, everything was locked and there was no way you’d sneak in there because, phew, if you got caught you’d lose the only job you have. Just as you turned back, you saw the biggest fucking dog you’ve ever seen. You didn’t know much about dogs, except for the fact that you’re shitless scared of the big, scary ones – and this was definitely a big, scary one. His fur was coated with black, brown and red spots, about half your height, and had teeth that could tear a human in mere seconds.

You didn’t really know whether to run or gently walk away, making it think you weren’t a threat – you took a couple slow steps back while looking at it in the eye, but you’re a dumbass and suddenly decided to run. Somehow along the run you lost the dog. And one of your shoes. And your apartment keys. And your bag which contained this week’s paycheck.

Well, you were fucked.

A/N: Please do give feedback! Also, tell me if you want to be on the taglist for this!

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wickedbarnes · 5 years

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m o n s t e r.

pairing: ransom drysdale x reader

prompt: ransom absolutely hates being rejected. he loathes it, it wounds his ego. so when he finds out that you weren't interested in him, the sheer determination of having you slowly turned into an unhealthy obsession.

trigger warnings: smut. non-con. dubcon. drugging. blackmailing. dark!ransom. do NOT read if any of these make you uncomfortable. 18+ readers ONLY.

note: i'm sorry if the smut may not be that good. i promise i'm trying to improve my smut writing skills :(

Ransom was the type of man who always gets what he wants one way or another. He wasn't the type to back down from a challenge nor was he the type to lose. He always makes sure he wins at the end. For him, nothing tasted so sweet than to have things go his way. He was that type of man and he was proud to admit that.

If he wanted a new car, he'd get it. If he wanted to party on the other side of the goddamn world, he'd book a ticket in a blink of an eye. If he wanted to fuck a girl or two, he'd get them on his knees in an instant. Ransom was a man who had everything. Power, wealth, good looks, you name it.

Being a Thrombey had its perks after all despite how much he dislikes his family.

But of course, there was this... unfortunate fact that not everything went his way. And he realized this the moment he laid eyes on the newest maid inside his grandfather, Harlan's mansion.

Y/N is what they called you. You were only working part-time as a means of earning money while you studied at college. It won't be long 'till you graduated so the student loans that you had needed to be paid and Harlan was generous and kind enough to pay you well.

Ransom took note of how full of life you were. Your eyes held some sort of innocence and purity in them. In fact, he'd be surprised if he ever found out you weren't a virgin. You seemed like the type that had never been properly touched by a man before. Either that, or you just hid that secret so well.

You greeted everyone kindly with a smile on your face and Ransom was sure everyone would be doting on you in no time. But when your doe eyes had fell on him, he saw the hesitation in them. But you quickly masked it with a faint smile, not quite as bright as the one that you gave to the others.

"Welcome back, Hugh." You'd say. And dare say, Ransom was impressed that you already knew he preferred that he was called Hugh by the helpers.

And you did. The first time you were hired, Marta and Fran were kind enough to show you around and taught you how things worked around here, even showed you how to properly serve Harlan's family members. However, it was Marta who told you about Hugh. You could remember her telling you to strictly steer clear from him and that whatever you did, you will only refer to him as Hugh.

And you, being the obedient employee that you are, you weren't planning on causing trouble and made sure to make mental notes of what she said.

So far, you were doing great. You were confused however, as to why she'd tell you to avoid him but when you saw how he treated his family members and the helpers that served him, you instantly understood why you needed to do so.

An asshole.

That's what Ransom Drysdale was.

Days passed during their visit to the mansion, you found yourself trying to stop yourself from giving Ransom a piece of your mind. You just couldn't handle rude people. They never settled well with you. And as quiet and bashful as you were most of the time, you had quite the mouth on you when someone deserves to be taught a lesson.

But by extension, Ransom was kind of your employer. If you upset him, there was no way in hell he wouldn't tell his grandfather. And you didn't want to disappoint Harlan now that he had done so much for you.

So instead, you kept your mouth shut and just continued to do your job.

But your reactions didn't go unnoticed by the cold-hearted playboy. He knew you disliked him. And in a way, he found it amusing. It wasn't the first time he heard of people not being quite fond of him. Most of the time, he didn't care. But with you, it somehow makes him chuckle.

In all honesty, he found you adorable trying to suppress what you wanted to say to him whenever he talked shit to his family or to Fran or Marta. He saw how you'd scowl and walk away from the scene just so you wouldn't burst and make you put him in his place if that's even possible. As if he'd let anyone dominate him.

It started out small, really. He had woken up early and found you wiping the windows clean. You wiped the sweat that was forming on your forehead as Ransom went downstairs, making his presence known. You turned around and saw him smiling softly at you.

"Good morning, Y/N." He greeted you and to say you weren't quite taken aback would be a lie. But you weren't rude like Ransom and he knows that. So instead of ignoring him, you forced a smile back and slowly brushed passed him to make your way to the laundry room. But not before you greeted him back.

"Good morning, Hugh." You'd say. And just like that, you were out of his grasp.

After that exchange, you'd find Ransom out in the garden with you as you watered the plants, in the kitchen where you'd help prepare food, in the laundry room where you tried to clean everyone's dirty clothes. He was there, trying to start up a conversation with you. But all of which you gave such limited answers to.

You didn't want to indulge him of trying to get to know you. You knew better than to let your guard down with men like Ransom. He was the kind of man that your mother had warned about. And you knew better than to be fooled by him.

Your headstrong personality despite your shyness and innocence showed through whenever you'd politely tell Ransom to leave you be. And that surprised him a lot.

Because no one had been able to tell him to leave them alone. When it came to women, they would lunge themselves and kneel down at Ransom's feet, worshipping him as if he were God in the flesh. They would do all that just to get a taste of the infamous Thrombey Golden Boy. But you, you had asked him to leave you be.

"I'm working, Hugh. And I would gladly appreciate it if you don't distract me. I'd like to finish early I still have homework to finish." You'd say as you busied yourself by cleaning one of the guest rooms that was bigger than your apartment itself.

Ransom stood there silently and you worried for a moment as to why he hadn't said anything. Turning around to look at him, you saw him frozen on his spot but soon enough, he nodded his head briskly and left you in the room without a word.

But if he was being honest, what you said had offended him so much. That was the closest thing to "No" that he had ever received from a woman. And it drove him fucking crazy.

Oh but no, he wasn't going to give up. You were just playing hard to get that's all. Women love a good chase. And you were simply not going through your senses. Ransom was confident that soon enough, you'd realize just how lucky you are that he was even bothering on paying attention and pouring his time on a maid like you.

He could have any girl he wanted. Models, cheerleaders, business women, fucking porn stars and yet he was focusing on you. Sometimes Ransom forgets why he was even wasting his time but then he remembers that he doesn't take no for an answer.

You were beautiful, he admits that. You weren't a model nor were you an actress but you were beautiful nonetheless. Ransom was sure that you could turn heads whenever you walk in public. That was one of the reason why he seemed so hooked up on you.

But another was that you were unlike any woman he has met before. You were innocent but you weren't an idiot. He could see fire in your eyes and he sensed that you were the kind of woman that would easily carry herself. You didn't need a man by your side to help you. In fact, you didn't even need a man to make you happy.

And that kind of a whole new thing to Ransom. You were like the fresh apple in the forbidden tree. So ripe for the taking You were like a breath of fresh air to him. All the other women he had been with, they all seemed to want to depend on him. They all seemed as if they couldn't even stand on their own two feet.

But that wasn't you.

And Ransom realized you weren't playing hard to get. The real problem was that you weren't interested in him at all. It took him days to realize that. Days of silently persuading you to at least pay attention to him. Days of silently hoping you would fall into his trap just like all those girls he trapped back then. But no, it didn't work on you.

No matter how much he pretended to be nice, no matter how much he had tried to make a conversation with you, even trying to mellow down his attitude towards his family and the helpers, he just didn't stand a chance.

And that. Drove. Him. Insane.

Ransom couldn't have this, no. He had to have you. It wasn't something he wanted to do. It was something he needed to do. It was as if having you was something that his life depended on it. He needed to take you. Stake his claim and make you his. He had never wanted to claim someone so much as he did with you. You had that effect on him now.

All because you refused to let him have you.

The more you refused, the more he craved you. The more he got addicted. The more he got obsessed at the thought of finally having you writhing underneath him.

But that was just that, a thought. An imagination for him. A sick dream of his that made him wake up with a raging boner that pushed him to stroke his own throbbing member but not before he moans out your name from his lips.

That was, until it finally turned into reality.

The Thrombeys had thrown a little get together and almost all of them got drunk. Thankfully, you didn't have class tomorrow so you didn't mind staying in so late. You can just call a cab or stay in the maid quarters until you can go home. It was also your day off the next day anyways.

The wealthy family had finally retrieved to their respective rooms leaving you to clean up all the empty glasses and liquor bottles that were strewn all over the table. The Thrombeys really do get roudy when they're drunk.

Fran had to tend to Harlan because of Marta's absence. According to her, she had important matters to attend to and that left you with the duty and washing these glasses and putting them away.

You were finally finished with the task when you turned around and jumped when you saw Ransom leaning in against the doorway with a faint smile on his face.

"Jesus, Hugh, you scared me." You'd say, putting your hand over your chest making him chuckle as you walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room where you began to tidy up the table again.

"I told you, you can call me Ransom." He replied but you just sighed in response, refusing to call him that, not wanting to give him what he wants no matter how small.

"You should be in bed." You said already knowing he'd notice the change in the subject.

"So should you but here you are cleaning." Ransom walked over to you and placed a glass of champagne in front of you while another was in his hand.

"What's this?"

"Champagne." He answered as if you didn't know what was in front of you.

"I know but why are you giving it to me?"

Ransom let out a breath and traced the rim of the glass with his calloused fingers.

"You'd been working nonstop today, I thought you should treat yourself somehow."

You sighed, "Hugh, I can't take this. I can't drink while I'm working. Plus, it'd be inappropriate of me to drink with my employer's grandson."

"Oh, come on, Y/N. It's just one glass, it won't hurt. My grandfather even offered you some earlier. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you drank one right now." He picked up the glass and pushed yours into your hands so you had no choice but to grab it or else, the glass would break and the drink would spill.

"Come on, just one drink. I promise it won't be that bad. And then I'll leave you alone to rest." Ransom smiled down at you and your gaze averted back and forth to him and the glass of champage in your hands.

Maybe one drink wouldn't hurt, right?

"Ugh, fine. Just one though, that's it." You replied, finally giving in and Ransom had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to keep himself from smiling too wide from what he heard.

He raised his glass to you with a smirk on his face, "To working hard and paying student loans."

You rolled your eyes at him but grinned at his words before you clinked your glass with his.

"To working hard and paying student loans." You said before you took a big chug of your drink, finishing it in one go and you had completely missed the way Ransom had looked down at you with a devilish look in his eyes as he drank his champagne the same time as you did.

You placed down your glass on the table and quietly thanked him for the drink. You walked passed him but Ransom stayed at his spot and finished his champagne and as if he timed it perfectly, he heard a thud on a floor that caused him to smirk in a sinister way.

The drug worked fast just like he knew it would. Usually it would take time but he didn't have the patience for that so he doubled the dosage. Ransom grabbed both your empty glasses and washed it neatly before he put it in the dishwasher.

He didn't want to leave any trace of evidence after all. But it wasn't like you were gonna tell anybody anyway.

Ransom came back to the dining room and gently picked you up in his big arms bridal style, making you look like a damsel in distress who just got rescued by a knight in shining armor. Except, it wasn't like that at all.

He quietly made his way upstairs, looking down at your face every once in a while. Grinning at how adorable you looked while you were unconscious in his arms.

Soon enough, Ransom had successfully walked into his room and placed you down on the bed gently. He walked by the door once again and made sure it was locked before he made his way to your sleeping figure once again and took his time to just admire your features.

He stroked your cheek gently as he took his time to appreciate your gorgeous body that was still clad in your clothing. And Ransom wanted nothing more than to rip everything off of you but he knew he had to wait until you woke up.

So instead, he pulled away and took his time by taking a bath.

Meanwhile, your eyelids were starting to flutter open, your body felt heavy and you couldn't even bring to at least move your fingers. God, what happened?

When your vision finally adjusted, you realized that you weren't in your apartment nor were you in the maid quarters. Where were you? Did you pass out? How'd you pass out?

But then you remembered. You were cleaning the dining room when Ransom came in and offered you champagne. And then you finally agreed to take a sip. After that, you passed out. Realization hit you like a truck and you willed yourself to at least sit up. It took some time and your body felt like jello as you did. As if every limb was asleep.

It was then that you realized that you were in Ransom's room. Why'd he take you here? Did he help you when you passed out? Why did you even pass out in the first place? Was it because you were exhausted? Or was it-

"Oh, you're awake." Ransom's voice caught your attention and you turned to see him walking out of the bathroom, his chest damp from taking a bath as droplets of water trickled down to his torso. He was only wearing a towel around his hips to at least hide his modesty.

You weren't blind to the fact that Ransom was indeed a handsome man. But looks didn't matter to you if the person was a complete dick. So you groaned and looked away, rubbing your temple as your head pounded quite a bit.

Ransom didn't like your reaction at all. Usually, women would gasp or at least their jaw would drop upon seeing him half naked in front of them. But you, you looked away. You didn't even blush. Nor did you at least stare at him.

Did you not find him attractive at all? No, that's not it. Maybe you were just distracted by the drug he induced inside your drink. You were just waking up from it after all.

"What happened, Hugh? How'd I pass out? I don't remember having a drink too many." You'd ask and carefully placed your legs down onto the floor as you now sat on the edge of the bed, not quite noticing how your skirt had risen up to the middle of your thighs.

"You didn't, yeah. Thankfully my dosage was right to just knock you out and not send you into a coma." He answered nonchalantly and your head shot up as you looked at him confused.

"Dosage? W-What are you talking about?"

Ransom rolled his eyes and slowly made his way over to you and you found yourself scooting further away from him while gripping onto the blanket right next to you.

You never noticed just how big he was compared to you. Not until now when he looked as if he was stalking his prey and he was the predator.

"You're really pretty, Y/N, you know that, right?" Ransom stood in front of you, his crotch leveling with your face but you were somehow thankful that he put his finger underneath your chin and tilted your head up to look at him.

"What are you doing, Hugh?" You asked him, your voice shaking quite a bit now as fear began to course through your veins. You knew Ransom had his moments and he had them a lot. But never did you realize he would get so... so aggressive. You were scared to say the least. Because then you never realized just how dangerous Ransom Drysdale could be until now.

"What am I doing? Oh, baby, I think I should be asking you that. You know, all this wouldn't have happened if you just spared a glance at me, you know? You walk around here looking all innocent with your head held high as if you didn't want my head in between those precious thighs of yours."

Your eyes widened, "W-What? What're you- Hugh, that's ridi-"

"Call me Ransom." He said, cutting you off as he gripped your jaw with his large hands, "God, do you even realize how much I fucking hate it when you call me Hugh?"

"But didn't you prefer the help calling you that?" You backfired but your voice seemed so weak. You wanted so bad to break away from him but you were afraid of what might happen if you did.

Was he armed? Would he hurt you? Would he... no, Ransom wouldn't do that, would he?

Would he?

"I do. But I can't let my best girl call me Hugh it... it really gets on my nerves, Y/N. Sometimes I think you're doing it on purpose. Just like how you haven't given into me all this time that I've been here. Tell me, were you playing hard to get? Is that what this is, you love the game of cat and mouse? You love the chase, hm?"

You were so confused. Why was he so round up? Why did he seem so angry? And what the hell did he mean by playing hard to get? Your thoughts were cut short when Ransom held your face harshly in his hands, looking down at you with dark eyes instead of his usual azure colored orbs.

This was a completely different Ransom. Hell, was this the real Ransom all along? Predatory and dangerous?

"I'm fucking asking you a question here, baby, I expect a fucking answer from you." His voice was deep, husky and it only sent shivers down your spine because of how scared you were right now.

"I don't understand what's going on, Hugh." You whimpered as your hands slightly began to shake on your lap, "I don't know why I'm here or what you mean by playing hard to get, I'm not playing hard to get, I'm not playing any games with you I was just doing my job."

Tears began to cascade down your cheeks and Ransom's face softened a bit. But he was shocked when he felt as if he was guilty for making you cry. He had made many women cry but he never felt any ounce of guilt before. Why'd he feel it when it comes to you?

Ransom shushed and cooed at you as he gently wiped your tears away with his thumb.

"Don't cry, doll. Well, as much as you look pretty when you cry, I'd prefer it if you didn't." He smiled before he crouched down in front of you.

"I just don't understand, Y/N. I did everything I could. I tried to act nice, I tried to help you around with your chores even if you'd tell me countless of times that you didn't need my help, I even convinced my grandfather to give you a raise because of how hardworking you are. Why did you think you were getting paid more than the other helpers around here, huh? I did all that and all you do to repay me was to pull away? That's quite rude, baby." He tutted and began to trace random patterns onto your thighs which made jump and push his hand away.

"See now, that's what I was fucking talking about. You always push me away. No matter what I do, no matter what tricks I have up my sleeve, you break away and dare I say I'm starting to lose my patience here."

He sighed and put his hand back on your thigh and you let out a sob as you couldn't push him away now. Your body still felt like jello you could hardly move your limbs properly. And you knew that if you break away, Hugh would catch you, it would be useless.

"I did all that I could to lure you in, to let you fall into my charms and let me have you but no, I guess all of that didn't work. Do you realize just how many women would kill to be in your place, hm? How they'd pay you millions of money just so they could replace you? And yet here you are, being so ungrateful. But I commend you, Y/N. You're the first woman to ever reject my advances. And as much as I fucking hated it, I'm impressed."

You brows furrowed as you finally put two in two together. That was all it was? All of this because you had wounded his large fucking ego? The fear on your face was replaced with anger and the fact that Ransom was looking at you amusingly didn't help at all.

"That was all this, Hugh? All of this, all the drugging that you did to me, all those pretentious acts that you pulled was all just because you could get me to sleep with you? All because you can't take no for answer? How fucking desperate and idiotic can you be?" You spat but it all happened so fast when Ransom suddenly slapped you across the face causing your head to whip up to the side.

His eyes widened as you turned back to look at him, your cheek now sporting a red mark. You were shocked. But you quickly gathered your composure and uttered words that caused Ransom to see nothing but red.

"I'd return the slap if I even took you as a man, Ransom." Ransom. You finally uttered Ransom from your lips. He should be happy you finally called him that. But his name accompanied by those words made something in him snap.

Ransom pushed you down on the bed and placed himself in between your thighs as his hand wrapped around your throat but not enough to choke you just tight enough to instill fear back in your body. Your skirt hiked up and Ransom smirked at the sight of your white cotton panties fully in display for him now.

Even your undergarments were as innocent as you.

"I've had enough, Y/N. You really pushed my limits now. Didn't your mother taught you how to respect your superiors, hm?" His hands rubbed your thigh up and down and before you could even reply, he quickly yanked down your skirt causing you to shriek but Ransom quickly silenced you as he put his large hand over your mouth.

"You should know better than to fight, doll. Make this easier for the both of us, will you? You have no idea how much I fucking hate it when someone tells me no. Especially when it's coming from you." Ransom brushed his fingers against your core causing you to jump a bit and squirm in his arms but held you firmly in place causing you to still down on the bed.

You eyes widened as you felt Ransom pushing your panties to the side before you felt his finger sliding up and down against your folds. Although you had masturbated quite a number of times, you were a virgin. You were untouched and made a promise to yourself to give your virginity to a man that loves you just as much as you loved him. Who deserves to have every part of you.

But instead, it was going to be forcefully taken away from you by Ransom. The grandson of your employer. The Thrombey Golden Boy. The devil in the flesh.

Your eyes were wide and filled with fear and Ransom liked that. He liked how powerless you were compared to him. He liked having the control he has on you now.

Slowly, he took his hand off your mouth but not before he gave you a warning.

"If you ever scream for help or even wake anybody up inside this goddamn mansion, I'll be sure to ruin your life and we don't want that, do we?" You instinctively shake your head no and Ransom seemed satisfied by your response.

"And if you ever tell anyone about this, I'll find out. And when I do, you'll be unemployed in the blink of an eye. Your degree gone in a snap. In case you didn't know, we Drysdales are stakeholders at your school. I can easily demand to get you expelled. And if you make me unhappy, I'll even fabricate a story about you. That's not something you want to happen, right?"

You couldn't believe it. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. And it doesn't seem so real. How could Ransom be so cruel? Did the vanity that was coursing through his veins finally fucked his head up? Or was he always like this? Always craved for power and control?

Your questions remained unanswered while you managed to give Ransom another meekly nod causing him to smirk.

"Good girl. See, you're learning. And good girls deserve a reward." You felt his fingers rubbing circles on your clit. You gasped and shook your head as if you silently told your body not to give into the pleasure he was forcing on you.

Your slit began to get slippery and Ransom cooed at how embarrassed you seem when you started to get his fingers all soaking wet.

"No need to be embarrassed, baby, it's just me. I'll take care of you." Tears streamed down your face causing your cheeks to get all blotchy but even then, Ransom still wouldn't budge. In fact, he found you beautiful when you cried. It made you look more innocent and pure. As if you needed to be dependent on him.

"You're getting so wet, sweetheart. You don't mind if I slip a finger in, do you?" Ransom didn't even give you anytime to answer before he slipped a finger inside your tight hole. You hated how a soft moan had escaped your mouth when he pushed it in.

"Oh, that's it, Y/N. Those are the noises I want to hear from you." Ransom pumped his finger in and out of your pussy and your cheeks heat up when you heard the sound of your own slick pussy. No, no, it shouldn't feel this good.

Your mind and body were at war. Your brain was screaming at you to push him away and scream for help but your body writhing against his hand as if you were begging him for more even if that wasn't the case.

Ransom looked at his glistening hand that was soaked with your juices and it only made his cock throb against the towel that was wrapped around his waist. Pulling his fingers away, you thought it was over until he ripped your panties off of you along with your blouse leaving you in nothing but your white laced bra.

You watched as Ransom licked his lips hungrily at you and it seemed as if the bra that was covering your breasts bothered him. So much so that he roughly pulled the straps down and reached behind you to unhook them with ease letting your tits be exposed to him.

You lifted your arms up to cover your chest while you pressed your thighs together but Ransom growled disapprovingly. He forced your legs open again and pinned your arms above your head with his hand as he stared down at you with his lust clouded eyes.

"Are you going to fucking behave or do you want to do this the hard way?" He spat and you felt so small as a quiet sob emitted from your lips while you stayed still.

"Good girl." Ransom whispered as he pressed a kiss onto your lips before pulling away.

"I think it's time I have a taste of you, baby. I hope you're as sweet as you look." Ransom spread your legs open and positioned his face in between your thighs. The towel that was wrapped around his waist had finally let loose and fell onto the wooden floor, letting his cock spring free.

Ransom gently blew on your pussy causing you to flinch. You lifted your head and shook your head at him.

"P-Please, Ransom... let me go, I won't tell anyone I just- Ransom!" You gasped when you felt his tongue laying flat on your cunt before he glided it across your clit. You propped yourself on your elbows and shook your head vigorously at him but Ransom held your legs in place, keeping them apart with his strong hands.

"Yeah, fucking watch me eat your pussy, baby." Ransom would say before he started to lap up your juices and even going as far as to tease your hole with his tongue by pushing it in and out of you before he paid attention to your throbbing clit.

You should've looked away. Looked somewhere else rather than the man that was in between your legs, tongue shoved up your pussy. But you can't. He looked so erotic while he sucked on your sensitive little bud. Is this how it feels to get eaten out by a man?

"Don't fight it, baby, just give in." Ransom would tell you as his fingers slid up and down your wet folds, getting them all lubed up before he pushed it up inside your pussy.

A whorish moan escaped your lips and you quickly put your hand up against your mouth to at least muffle the noises you weren't supposed to be making.

You hated this so much. You hated it because you were giving in. You hated it because it felt so damn good. You hated it because you found yourself wanting more.

You didn't plan on it but it was as if your body has gone on autopilot when you hips began to grind up against Ransom's mouth and fingers. Your hands finding its way to tangle themselves onto Ransom's hair.

Sinful moans escaped your mouth and Ransom moaned against your pussy as it was music to his ears. You tasted so sweet on his tongue and it only drove him crazier than he already was for you.

His personal little peach.

Ransom picked up the pace and curled his fingers up to hit your g-spot repeatedly while he was to busy sucking and licking on your clit. It was too much, it felt too good. Your eyes rolled at the back of your head as you felt the familiar pleasure boiling up in the pit of your stomach.

You were close.

"Fuck, baby, I can feel you getting close." Ransom moaned against your soaking wet pussy. You were sure his chin was glistening with your juices.

"No, no, no..." You chanted and shook your head as if you remembered that you weren't supposed to like this at all.

"Yes, yes, come on, baby. I know you wanna cum for me. Do it. Fucking do it." Ransom encouraged you and fingerfucked you harder as he pulled away, his thumb now rubbing circles on your clit in a fast pace.

He wanted to see you come undone for him.

"Do it, Peaches, do it. Be a good girl and cum for me." He ordered you and you were far too gone to tell yourself no.

"R-Ransom!" You turned your head to the side and bit down on the pillow that was right next to you to muffle your screams. You body convulsed underneath Ransom's as you came hard on his fingers. Your legs shook as avalanche of tears streamed down your face due to shame and the pleasure you felt.

Ransom was speechless. It was as if you were being possessed by a demon. You were shaking underneath him, moaning his name as if it was a prayer you had memorized. No one had came this hard for him. No one had been so wet for him before. It was you. It was all you.

He pulled his fingers away and as much as he wanted to lick it clean, he wanted to see how you'd look while you were sucking on something.

You fluttered your eyes open and looked up at Ransom when you felt his weight on your body. He held his soaking fingers against your lips with one demand for you.

"Suck." And even you didn't want to, you found yourself doing what you were told. You wrapped your lips around his fingers and sucked your juices clean off his fingers.

You knew you should've looked away. You knew you should've pulled away but instead, you looked deep into his eyes and swirled your tongue around his fingers, giving him a sneak peek on what you'd look like if you were to suck his cock.

Ransom was taken by surprise. You're naturally a tease. But as much as he wanted to let you suck on his cock, he knew he didn't have the patience for that yet. Instead, he positioned himself on the bed and threw your leg over his shoulder. Your eyes widened as you shook your head began to move away from him but Ransom only pulled back to where you were by your ankles.

"Don't misbehave now, Y/N, you were doing so good." His voice was dark, indicating how he disliked that you pulled away.

"Ransom, you don't understand, I'm inexperienced. Very different from the girls you've fucked, I... Please, let me go, you already made me cum." You pleaded but you could tell on Ransom's face that he wasn't having it.

"Please, Ransom... I'm a virgin, I-"

"You're a what?" Ransom asked, completely cutting you off.

"I'm a virgin." You repeated yourself, confident that Ransom would change his mind about all this once he finds out that you had no experience with sex.

But your confidence went as quickly as it came.

Ransom's face lit up as he leaned down to capture your lips in his, kissing you passionately. You wanted to pull away but he held your face in place as if he sensed you'd be doing exactly that.

Pulling away, Ransom smirked at you.

"How much more innocent can you be?" And with that, he threw your leg over his shoulder and began to line his cock up against your entrance after he slid it up and down to use your juices as lube.

"Ransom, no, it's not gonna fit- Ahh!" You shrieked and closed your eyes shut as the stinging pain shot throughout your body. You whimpered as Ransom cooed at you while he gently pushed his thick length inside your virgin hole.

He was stretching you out so much it felt endless. You let out a helpless sob when he finally bottomed out, his cock now fully deep inside of you. Ransom cupped your face and peppered kisses on your cheek and lips as if that would help diminish the pain you're in.

"You're so tight, Peaches, you fucking know that?" He groaned and stayed still as if any movement would cause him to spill his cum inside you.

"Ransom, please, I don't want this..." You pleaded yet again but Ransom's eyes darkened as he smirked down at you.

"You will." And with that, he began to thrust back and forth into you, his cock pumping in and out of your tight cunt. You gasped and expected there would be pain but there was none. Pleasure started to overtake your body once again and you realized you had finally adjusted to Ransom's length.

You shook your head, praying to whatever deity there was that existed to make this all stop. It shouldn't feel good, it shouldn't. But your body told you otherwise.

Ransom groaned and looked down to watch his cock go in and out of your cunt. The sight was mouthwatering. He remembered how he just dreamt about this but now it was real. And it was better than he imagined.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're gripping me like a vice. Ruining other bitches for me." He moaned and threw his head back, his mouth parted open as his brows furrowed.

Your breathing became uneven and you found yourself meeting Ransom's thrusts causing him to push deeper inside of you, making him hit your g-spot repeatedly. Sinful moans escaped your lips and you could no longer control what your body desperately needed.

By the look of how desperate you were to chase your own orgasm, Ransom was certain he has you now. He was certain that he had you wrapped around his finger. He was certain that you're all his.

"R-Ransom..."

"I know, baby, I know. Just a little longer, Peaches." He fastened his pace and licked his thumb before he rubbed your throbbing clit while he pounded your cunt. The action made you arch your back and your moans to get louder and you quickly put your hand over your mouth, not wanting to wake anyone up.

Either you didn't want to get caught and make Ransom stop or you just didn't want to face the consequences that he gave you if you got too noisy and alarmed everyone in the house.

"R-Ransom, I'm close, I'm-"

"Me too, baby, fuck! Oh God, I'm gonna fill your pussy up." He groaned and with one final thrust, he shoved his cock so deep up your pussy that you couldn't help but spasm around him once again, biting his shoulder as you screamed out in pleasure as you came hard.

"Holy shit, Y/N..." Ransom moaned as he felt you milking his cock up completely. You felt him shoot load after load of his cum while you shook underneath him.

When Ransom slowly pulled away, you couldn't help but cry silently as a sob escaped your lips. He used you. He used you for his own pleasure and you let him. You let him. And there was nothing you could do.

Ransom looked at you with pity. He knew you were still confused. Soon enough, you were going to thank him for the things he's done to and for you. He gently placed your body on the other side of the bed before he lied down and placed the duvet over your bodies.

"You did so good, Y/N. I'm proud of you. See? I told you it'd be easy if you just gave in." He smiled fondly at you and gently wiped the tear that slipped down from your eyes.

"You had me. You used me like a piece of fucking meat. Now will you let me go?" Your question made Ransom laugh out loud. It was rare for women to make him and somehow, you did it. You were truly full of surprises.

"Let you go? Oh no, Peaches, I think you're mistaken." His smile turned into a menacing one as fear began to spark up inside your body once again as he traced your bare shoulders with your fingers.

"I've waited for this moment for a long time. This is the longest chase I've done. And now that I have you, I don't think I'll ever let you go. Plus, you're quite the fighter. You were quite the challenge and I like that. From here on out, you're mine, do you understand?" Ransom gently pulled the blanket off your body as the cool breeze of air hit your skin. His fingers traced your erect nipples before his hand squeezed your breasts a bit.

"You." He pulled the blanket off of him.

"Are." Ransom spread your legs again and placed himself in between them.

"Mine." He whispered against your neck before he pushed his hardening cock back inside you again.

A monster.

That's what Ransom Drysdale was.

#ransom thrombey #ransom drysdale #ransom x reader #ransom x you #ransom drysdale fic #knives out #chris evans #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader

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missinghan · 5 years

Text

dandelion ⤖ hwang hyunjin

❖ genre : strangers to lovers!au; fluff; angst

❖ word count : 12,2k.

❖ warning : explicit language

❖ summary : it’s funny how you’ve been second-guessing every single thing in life to the T but the only thing you didn’t just happens to be running after a total stranger named Hwang Hyunjin.

one.

“And that, my friend, is the end of the chapter. See, that wasn’t so hard, you just need to pay more attention to the details.” Minho shuts his textbook closed and grins at you from your laptop screen.

Your typical Monday starts with online school and ends with Lee Minho since your non-existent brain cells furiously agree to comprehend zero ounce of what your teacher rambled about accounting. Being the sly snake that he is, Minho ‘kindly’ offered you a weekly tutor session with him. Kindly, that is. And you simply cannot see that specific word in his less than appropriate vocabulary when all he did for the past ninety minutes was repeating the same damn things that your teacher did last week.

You groan rather quietly. “How am I supposed to pay more attention to them when they’re so fucking small ?” And you don’t even have to think twice to see that smug smile appearing on your friend’s face.

One that pops up whenever he’s clinging onto Han Jisung’s back like the sloth that he is, one that also occurs when he’s mentally prepare himself to clapping back at you with the most obnoxious yet witty comment that’s gonna make you wanna jump through the laptop screen and strangle him until he begs you to stop.

“Well, aren’t you being unreasonable ?” Minho tuts. “In fact, the smallest details are by far the most important.” You can’t help but scowl when he’s talking all calmly in his wisdom glory as if he’s Sherlock Holmes and you’re John Waston, running after him from one place to another as he keeps lecturing you and acting all mysterious with his stupid deerstalker.

As if he’s asking you to examine a dead body with grand conclusions and spits at you afterwards “Nice one John, you missed every single essential detail that’d give us a lead, again.” A stark contrast compared to when he’s yelling and running around spontaneously. Tsk, so unnecessary.

You feel a rush of air rising up in your rib cage as you cough harshly into the sleeves of your shirt. “Alright— smartie pants, how about you— go find Han and just make— out on Changbin’s expensive leather couch, yeah ?” You say between coughs, hand reaching for the oxygen tubes that’s carelessly thrown on the side of your bed.

The boys always come over to Changbin’s place for a movie night every Monday. You believe that they’re planning on seeing the sequel of ‘Jumanji’ to switch it up instead of watching Woojin’s sappy dramas. How fitting.

Minho pouts. “Come on sour patch, don’t be mad. I didn’t mean to point out how much of a dumbass you are.” And it’s no doubt that those words of his are dripping with sarcasm and fake empathy. He’s too predictable at this point.

Normal people would have freaked out to see their friend choking on air like this but it’s been countless times since Minho saw you hacking up lungs and had people yelling at him “Why the fuck are you just standing there ? She’s dying !” But truthfully, you do that all the time and he just doesn’t want to waste a single chance to at least make fun of you.

You sneer at him. “Hold your fucking tongue, you hypocrite.” As you put on the oxygen tubes and loop them around the rim of your ears, you breath adjusts itself slowly and steadily until you don’t sound like a drowning donkey again.

“Whatever Y/N, I hope you don’t fail Park’s accounting class because that’d ruin my reputation.” Minho rolls his eyes dramatically as if the scene he’s just caused wasn’t dramatic enough in the first place. “Do you have the slightest idea of what I was trying to teach you for the past hour and a half ?” He asks semi-seriously because no matter how passionate he is about pestering you, you failing a subject because of him is the last thing he wants to go home with on his conscience.

“Nope.” You beam.

Minho closes his eyes and takes in a sharp breath. He’s trying so hard not to scream out loud right now, such an amusing sight. “It’s fine, it’s fine.” He repeats after himself, sounding more like he’s trying to prevent himself from exploding rather than comforting you about your stupidity. “We can just start over, I’ll just make a quick summary and you try to do the assignments by yourself after this, okay ?”

“Fine.”

And as Minho starts blabbering about the mere basics of accounting, the door swings open to reveal Jackson - your nurse - who’s pushing a cart full of medications inside your room, the wheels screeching against the tiled floor. “Having fun with maths again, I see.” Jackson comments with a mischievous smile.

“Hey Jackson !” Minho inquires innocently. They both used to share a room when Jackson was still in college. Not to mention, he was good friends with 3racha and made dope music for Minho’s auditions. So you can say that Minho’s technically allowed to fanboy a little over your nurse. “You best believe that Y/N has been doing the most to comprehend what I was saying since she just appreciates me so much.”

Jackson cackles loudly, too loudly for the sake of being in a hospital. He’s lucky that they spent a good amount of cold, hard cash to make the walls soundproof. “Just bear with her until freshman year is over. Don’t pick on the sick kid, that’s not very nice.” And now all you want to do is to put both of their heads on a stick because you know that having both Jackson Wang and Lee Minho in the same conversation is equivalent to the definition of ‘oneself against the world’. Because Jackson too, acts like an old bitchy cat and loves to laugh his ass off at your impending misery.

You grit. “Square the fuck up.” But the scowl on your face soon fades as your nurse reaches his hand outwards underneath the blue fabric that has the whole cart covered and pulls out a brown paper bag. Now, it’s Jackson’s turn to give you a dirty look when you gratefully take the McDonal’s order from his hand like a three-year-old. “You peasants can live for the time being.”

“You’re lucky that your body needs 3000 calories per day or else Jaebum will fire me for feeding you junk food so often.” He informs you rather sarcastically as he scatters your description medications across the table where you’d chose to put your collection of stuffed animals instead of other necessities like textbooks or plastic binders. “I didn’t sign up for this FYI, ugh, I need money to pay off student’s loan too you know ?”

And that’s another perfect example of one hundred and one reasons why you’re not pumped for college like other kids. First off, what do you mean if someone’s privileged then they get to turn the assignment in later than everyone else ? And secondly, how the fuck can a graduate pay off their loans when they’re struggling like a fish out of water to find a decent job ? Not to mention, college dramas are the absolute worst. Things won’t be as lighthearted as highschool when students are entering bars with fake IDs and do drugs to get their minds off things that are stressing them out, which is almost everything.

In conclusion, college is just more of a shithole than highschool so you don’t really get the hype about it.

“You’ll be fine, Wang, stop being so whiny.” You snicker and drop a french fire into your mouth before chewing obnoxiously. “Have fun with your night shift.” You wave him off as he glares at you while pushing the cart outside. The moment Jackson swings the door open again, you can see a figure passing by but this one in particular catches your attention. And surprisingly, it’s a boy because it’s been ages since you have some kind of interest in guys, non-platonically of course.

Not to be one of those creepy people, but you’d admit it, he’s quite the looker. Defined nose, full lips and cute mono lids, the air tossing his black mullet like how every protagonist makes their entrance into the movie. But he also has oxygen tubes put on just like you, perhaps you’re in the same boat ? Either way, that’s not the point because while pretty boy’s out there looking like a runway model in sweatpants, you’re nothing more than a couch potato because you’ve been doing nothing other than staying in bed all day.

Good gracious he’s cute.

“And that is how you can work on simple balance sheets.” Your friend closes in but frowns at your lack of attention. The door finally closes with a soft ‘click’, hurrying you back to reality to find a not-so-happy looking Minho. “Y/N, would you be a sweetheart and tell me that you didn’t miss a single detail during the last five minutes ?” His smile is rather stiff because his facial muscles are struggling hard not to burst as anger slowly bottles up inside of his chest captivity. For fuck’s sake, he hates it when you don’t listen on purpose.

You cock your head to the side dumbfoundedly. “Wait— everything makes no sense.”

Minho sighs in desperation. “Oh... what if you were smarter ?”

two.

“Kkami !” Someone exclaims from behind you.

You stop in the middle of your track and take out a side of your earbuds. The footsteps are getting louder and louder by the second along with the male voice. “Excuse me- pardon- Kkami I swear to God !” You decide to take a full ten seconds to comprehend what’s happening before turning around. The next thing you know is your head comes in contact with something hard, causing you to stagger backwards and land on your bottom.

“Ugh, my head.” You wince at the aching feeling on your back as your pupils slowly dilate and adjust your vision on the current surroundings. The moment you lay your eyes on the figure in front of you, your mouth automatically lets out a silent scream. A cute boy just bumped into you, but then again, you wouldn’t overreact if he’s just any other cute boy. But he’s that cute boy who managed to distract you from Minho, who got your attention even when you just stared at him through a barely opened door.

The boy widens his eyes when he sees what he’s caused. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” He apologizes with a smile, offering you a hand to pull you up right. “Are you okay ?”

You take his hand, almost flinching when his touch sends electricity throughout your body. His hands are much bigger than yours and are fully capable of enveloping your smaller ones with ease. You like that about him because you’ve never truly experienced what it feels like to hold someone’s hand in a non-platonic way. “Uhm, yeah, I’m okay but are you though ? You sounded like you’re going through a crisis looking for someone.”

He smiles at you, eyes forming little crescent moon shape. “My mom brought my dog here and he accidentally ran off.” His laugh is melodic, sounding just like Mozart to your ears and you can’t help but crack a smile too. “It was nice meeting you, and I really have to go find him before he got to the NICUs or something… but I think we should get to know each other more. What do you say ?” He chides with a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

You yank his hand away harshly. “I thought you’re better than that.” It’s ridiculous how boys with A+ look can just slide into your lives and stay for as long as they want then just disappear as if they’ve never been there in the first place. You’d hate to see a version of yourself who spends all day crying in bed because some bastard doesn’t love her back so this pretty boy over here better go before you throw him off a cliff.

“Don’t ever talk to me again.” And with that, you walk away without turning your head, not even once. Well, so much for a Tuesday afternoon. Tuesdays are supposed to be easy-going for you since you just have to get yourself through several assignments and essays but someone just had to pop up in your life and ruin everything.

The scowl on your face drops when you push the glass door of the pediatric unit open. Immediately, the kids see you and quickly abandon their nurses to run towards your direction. Your dad just got back from a business trip in Sydney and he still thinks that you’re a nine-year-old so your room is basically filled with candies and other sweet treats. That’d better change today. “Behave well and all of you will have one.” You chuckle at the kids’ eagerness, personally handing one bag over to each and every one of them.

Five minutes later, the amount of treats are slowly trickling down until there’s only one bag left. In which, you’ve saved it for a specific someone since he’s just that obsessed with Australian candies. Your phone buzzes. How convenient.

[ 3:45p.m. ]

yongbokie | okay, I’m here, where are you ?

y/n | seventh floor, just go straight down the hallway and it’s on the right side.

“Here’s your worksheets, now where’s my Tim Tam Slam ?” Felix shoves the stack of papers into your arms as soon as he spots you inside the pediatric unit, surrounded by children, a whole lot of children. He knows your love for kids all too well and the fact that you’re lonely in this hospital is no shocker. Meaning, you’re a part-time kindergarten teacher ( aka whenever you feel like slacking off on school work ).

You scoff at him, throwing the bag of candies at him with as much aggression. “Changbin’s gonna kick you out sooner or later if you end up looking like a pig, enjoy it while you can.” That’s obviously useless since Seo Changbin is as utterly soft for Lee Felix as you are for kids. Both are annoying little pricks but somehow, your little heart can never get mad. “And you better share that with Chan too or else he’s gonna write an entire diss track about me.”

“CB97’s new diss track material is apparently Tim Tam Slam, how terrific.” Your friend snickers and tears the bag open single handedly with his teeth while his other hand tapping away on his phone. He doesn’t even need a cup of hot chocolate, that’s how bad Felix is craving his childhood candy.

“Ooh, earrings ? And jeans too ?” He cocks a brow at your dainty pieces of jewelry. And you never wear jeans in the hospital, never. You think that’s it’s equivalent to asking someone to suffocate you as if the hospital isn’t suffocating enough. “Who are you trying to impress ?”

Upon his teasing, you let out an audible groan. For once in your life, you’ve made up your mind and actually packed something decent because hospital romance is a thing and you need to be prepared at all times. Not to mention, you might as well snatch yourself a guy who’s totally father material because you hang out at the pediatric unit most of the time. “Haha, very funny. Try and find me someone cute then.”

Just then, very slowly, a familiar figure takes long strides towards your direction. “Anyone, but him.” You deadpan.

“Him ?” Felix says over a mouthful of chocolate as he turns his head to the front door.

And holy shit.

To your dismay - with a bag over his shoulder, face flushed from running with beads of sweat rolling down his cheeks that make him glow like Edward Cullen and his wet fringe covering his eyes slightly — is the pretty boy from yesterday, well, more like five minutes ago. They say everything’s uglier close-up but not him. He’s absolutely breathtaking, undeniably brilliant as if he had just stepped out from an anime. But you’re not falling for that perfect smile again, at least for the time being.

“Oh hell no.” Felix quickly identifies the boy and hangs his jaw open, the plastic wrapper falling out from his hand. You look at your friend in disbelief, your expression mirroring his - completely lost for words.

The boy waves his hand at him and smiles widely. “Yongbok !” And just like that, your brain starts to process the new amount of overwhelming information. Slowly, and steadily, all the dots are connected. That guy is definitely heading towards your direction. No one knows Felix’s Korean name unless they’re close friends or family members. Jesus motherfucking Christ-

Felix demands loudly. “Hyunjin, do not move !”

The pretty boy - whose name is apparently Hyunjin - stops abruptly at his friend’s sudden outburst. He turns his head only to accidentally make eye contact with you. Cocking a brow, he averts his attention back to Felix. You too, tug on your friend’s sleeve before questioning him.

“You know him ?” “You know her ?”

Felix widens his eyes in terror and quickly pushes Hyunjin away. “You people are insane ! Six feet away at all times, it’s a fucking simple protocol !”

“Huh- wait what ?” You stutter. Soon enough, all of the colors on Hyunjin’s face are completely drained and a worrisome feeling suddenly runs down your spine.

You exchange a weird look with him. “Don’t tell me that you’re a...“

“Are you also a… “

Felix face palms himself. “You fucking guessed it.”

three.

The next few weeks get a little bit mayhem since you’re wrapping up the semester while being hospitalized at the same time. Meaning, you’re struggling real hard to balance the whole feud with finals and all of the medical stuff along with really boring paperwork because your body decided to fail you once again.

No one was really able to give you company since they have to deal with their own problems too. Your parents are busy with their draining business trips while your brother - Woojin is getting his bachelor degree soon. And Minho is graduating in less than a month. Moreover, you haven’t met the pretty boy since your first and only encounter.

Speaking of the Devil, “Fancy seeing you here.”

You peel your eyes away from your laptop and see Hyunjin. In which, almost makes you fall right off the stool that you’ve been occupying for the last hour. You’re still procrastinating like highschool but you’re actually determined to finish your essay because if not, you won’t be able to walk away from your problems again.

“Six feet away at all times, not six feet under the ground. So knock it off.” You deadpan, ushering him further away with a wave of your hand. If you were being completely honest, Hyunjin just took the breath right out of your lungs at the slightest glance. Time really does make people blind because you almost forgot that although he did try to flirt with you that one time, he’s also drop dead gorgeous. And that makes your heart tingles, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Hyunjin makes a ‘I’mma-need-you-to-relax’ face and takes a seat on the opposite side of the table. “You still radiate big passive aggressive energy, not so good of a first impression.”

You laugh dryly. “Speak for yourself. Talk about some shitty flirting skills.”

“In my defense,” He raises a brow and throws you a look, one that makes you feel personally attacked. “I was genuinely trying to make friends, you sure know how lonely it is to be hospitalized all the time, don’t you ?”

You sneer at him. “Well, you picked the wrong person.”

“How am I supposed to know that you’re also a CF-er ?! You weren’t wearing your oxygen tubes.”

Apparently, you think that life hates you more than most of the world’s population because you weren’t just born with cystic fibrosis, you were born into it. The genetic disease gifts you with constant lung infections and gives you a hard time to breath in order to function like a normal human being. More accurately, the protein inside your body becomes dysfunctional so it loses the ability to move chloride to the cell surface. Meaning, the mucus in various organs can attract more bacteria along with germs, causing infections and inflammation.

So naturally, minimizing contact with any kind of germs and other CF-er are your top priorities unless you want to catch their bacteria and choke to death on it instead. With that being said, you’ve just come to a realization that Hyunjin touched you the other day, skin to skin without any kind of protection like gloves. Some CF-ers have caught each other’s bacteria before by touching a doorknob, and that story scared you shitless.

You speak up, finally. “Uhm… so.. were you okay ?”

“If you’re asking if I got cross-infection or not, then no, I’m totally fine. None of that B. cepacia shit.” Hyunjin answers while avoiding your eyes. He quietly reaches inside his backpack and pulls out a blue binder that looks like it’s been used since elementary school because plastic never really goes away.

You raise a curious brow when he pulls out some pieces of papers that are covered in an awfully dizzy amount of words. “What you got there, pretty boy ?”

“Now you’re talking, I almost ended up on the ground laughing when you thought that I was nothing but a shallow fuckboy.” Hyunjin is still pissed off because not only did you despise him, you also happens to be Felix’s best friend. Totally irrelevant, but he’s also mad at Felix for not telling him about you sooner. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want the both of you to accidentally kill each other or anything but still, Hyunjin did hold your hand and nothing happened.

You prop your head on your hand, lips cracking a smile. “But I’m interested now, no hard feelings. You really need to lighten up drama lama.” You’re just noticing this now, but it seems like he’s really similar to Felix. Point break, he’s an easy victim to pick on anytime, anywhere. Of course you’re going to take advantage of this.

Hyunjin replies monotonously. “I need to practice my lines for the upcoming play for finals season.” He’s trying so hard not to give in and smile at you because he’s decided to play hard to get.

“No wonder why you’re a dramatic little dipshit. How fitting.” You grin coyly at the scowl on his face. “Okay, sorry, let me tone that down. What are you guys playing ?”

Hyunjin groans. “We’re trying to fit an entire season of ‘Once Upon a Time’ into a two-hour play. And my fucking God, Captain Hook has a shit ton of lines.” Although it does appeal as a privilege to other people that drama majors can skip through the whole ‘cramming and crying’ to pass their finals, what people don’t know is the amount of work and effort that needs to be put into a single play. It requires patience, team chemistry, diligence and lots of, lots of caffeine to have a decent performance for the whole school.

There was this one time he pulled seven all nighters in a row just to finish ‘Peter Pan’ before the holiday hit. And for the following five days, he basically lived on his bed and fed on leftover pizza that his roommate refused to microwave.

You offer him kindly. “Maybe I can help you practice ?” You really feel like a fucking angel with your own imaginary halo shining ever so brightly on the top of your head. “I got nothing better to do anyway, not planning on being stuck with accounting 24/7 or I’m gonna end up in an insane asylum.”

“Thought you’re already in one.”

“Say that again and I’ll skin you alive !”

four.

Hwang Hyunjin is fortunately blessed by whatever gods up there because you finally finished finals way before the D-day of his play. Which means you feel even more obligated to help him practice his lines.

But in all seriousness, he technically doesn’t need you because all you do is read the other characters’ lines right off the script anyway. Unlike you, even in the hospital cafeteria with a stainless steel fork as the hook on his right hand, Hyunjin plays the character as if he’s the one and only, non-biological heir of Leo DiCaprio.

You can see why he chose the dramatic arts because he embraces and studies closely every movement, every gesture, every inch of flesh, every drop of emotion that his character has to offer. No wonder why they let him play one of the male protagonists because you can’t imagine anyone other than him play the iconic Captain Hook. And it’s actually nice to not having him spatting some kind of witty comments at you every two minutes.

You clap your hands together. “Act 4. Scene 1.”

“I already told you, I’m just a blacksmith !” Hyunjin tries to whimper as quietly as possible to avoid dirty looks from other people. He’s portraying that scene where Hook basically got tied up on a tree so that the others could get him talking.

Your eyes narrow down into a glare, mentally throwing daggers at his general direction. Meaning if Hook doesn’t spill who he really is, he’s gonna be the monster’s meal in a matter of time. “You won’t talk to us ? Maybe they’ll talk to you and snatch one of your limbs for lunch.”

“You can’t just leave me here like this !” He sudden yelps, startling you in the process. You quickly avert your attention from the script to his eyes, clearly they show nothing but desperation and mischief. As the character should have.

“Su-Sure you’re not.” You stutter, not knowing how to express the words inside the parentheses.

Hyunjin guides you patiently. “Say it like you’re gonna set me on fire if I dare to test you. Be aggressive, talk aggressively, act aggressively. Aggressive is your middle name now.” His voice starts to get louder and louder at the end, a thing that he accidentally adapted from Chan. He doesn’t even need megaphones to yell at someone at this point.

You give him a curt nod before gripping the script tightly once again. If you’re gonna help him, you’ll have to make it seem like you’re not slacking off.

“Sure you’re not.” You deadpan, cringing at your own attempt to sound intimidating. Acting was never your thing either way. You’ve only been chosen for pity roles like ‘Girl #2’ or ‘Tree #5’ for some plays back in middle school and the beginning of highschool.

He smirks. “Good for you. You bested me. I can assure you that the number of people who have done that before can only be counted on one hand.”

Another thing, you fucking love Emma Swan because she’s practically your twin. The only thing is that you’re not even half as badass as her. Sometimes you don’t even realize that there’s a script in your hands this whole time. “I’m sorry, was that supposed to be funny ? Who are you ?”

“Kilian Jones.” Hyunjin says with a glint of fierceness flickering in his irises. His intense gaze almost makes you run straight into the restroom and scream for a good five minutes. “But most people have taken to call me by my more colorful moniker, Hook.” The rasp in his voice sends chills to the core of your bones.

You cock a brow. “As in, Captain Hook ?”

He beams. “Ah, so you’ve heard of me.”

You pant slightly out of nervousness, gripping onto the edge of the wooden stool for fuck’s sake. “Hurry up, they’re getting closer. Unless you want to be dinner, you better start talking.”

Hyunjin shakes his head gently. “Don’t just read out the line. Don’t become the character. Make the character yours. Make it seems like her lines are personally tailored to every single detail of your existence.” He’s mentoring you as if you’re the one who plays Emma Swan and not that one pretty girl from his class. You swear, you’re not a stalker, he literally just spilled everything about his life after very few conversations with you.

You nod. “Hurry up, they’re getting closer. Unless you want to be dinner, you better start talking.” This time, you finally got a good grip on the character’s emotions, slowly falling into a haze.

“Cora told me to gain your trust so that I can learn everything there is to know about your storybook.” Hyunjin singsongs, lips curling upwards. You really want to deck him in the face right now. That’s how good of an actor he is. “She didn’t want any surprises when she got over there.”

You pretend to be in disbelief, jaw dropping in the process. “She can’t go there. We already destroyed the wardrobe.”

He chuckles this time. God you wish you can wipe that stupid smirk off his face, although everything’s just an act. “Ah, my enchantment remained. Cora gathered the ashes and she’s gonna use them to open a new portal.” He looks at you, wiggling his brows to show off his skills before continues. “Now, if you’d just kindly cut me loose—“

“Let’s go.” You say monotonously to your non-existent cast, waving your free hand as a signal for them to walk away.

“Wait !” Hyunjin slams his fist on the table loudly. It seems like he’s getting immersed in the character again because he can’t be bothered to give two shits about the fact that everyone’s having their eyes on him. More accurately, on the two of you. “You need me alive !”

You also try to ignore all of the weird looks. “Why ?”

“Because we both want the same thing. To get back to your land.” When you meet Hyunjin’s eyes, you nod at him to continue with the script. “I initially arranged for transport with Cora, but seeing just how resourceful you are, I’ll offer you the same deal. I’ll help you as long as you promise to take me along.”

You clear your throat. “How are you going to help us ?”

Hyunjin proceeds to elaborate, slowly. “The ashes will open a portal but to get to your land, she’ll need more. There’s an enchanted compass, Cora seeks it. I’ll help you obtain it before she does.”

“So Cora won’t make it to Storybrooke and we’ll be one step closer to being home. Sounds too good to be true.” You mock him, the corners of your mouth twitching slightly.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.”

“I’ll need you to tell me one thing then.” You point the tip of your sword (knife) directly at his throat (a good three inches away) as an attempt to threaten him. “What does the infamous Captain Hook want in Storybrooke ?”

“To exact revenge on the man who took my hand. Rumplestiltskin.” Hyunjin finishes his line and claps, breaking out of character. He looks disturbed at the particular way that you’re pointing the knife at him. “And… cut ! Put the knife down, Y/N. You’re a sadist, not a murderer.” He pushes the piece of cutlery away as if it’s a ticking bomb.

This time, it’s your turn to wiggle your brows at him. “You don’t know me. What if I’m an actual murderer who preys on the innocent at night, when everyone’s fast asleep in their cozy beds, when they’re the most vulnerable ? What if I’ve been living a double life this entire time and you’re my next target ?” Actually, scratch that. Hyunjin thinks you’re pretty fitting for the role of Regina aka the Evil Queen.

“Admit it you moron, you’re a sucker for my acting.” He flips his imaginary long hair and you make a gagging noise. It seems like Hyunjin has adapted the habit of holding grudges from Felix because the shy pretty boy that you met a few weeks ago is nowhere to be seen. Like he has grown accustomed to you, he treats you like an old friend, just catching up on things with each other. But in reality, his confidence level just went from a 100 to Han Jisung because you’ve been feeding his ego way too much.

“There’s room for improvement.” You shrug, trying to keep a straight face. Emphasis on the ‘trying’ part. “Bet you’d do better if that pretty girl was here.”

Hyunjin blows a few strands of loose hair out of his face. He looks really good with disheveled hair, and it’s tickling something at very bottom pit of your stomach. “Kinda wish you could play Emma. You two are literally the same person. She’s just slightly cooler because at least she doesn’t sleep with opened windows.”

“Is this a fucking call out ?” You hold back the urge to slap him with your slippers. “My room’s on the third floor for fuck’s sake.”

“Rapists can climb.” He smiles cheekily and it makes you ponder about how many more questionable behaviors of his you'd have to deal with for the long future. “You’re definitely going, don’t leave me hanging okay ?” Hyunjin declares and slaps a ticket on the wooden surface, sliding it across the dining table.

You blink countless times at the ticket, hesitating to grab it with your bare hands. “Take it, I’m wearing gloves anyway.” He reassures you, skimming through some of the scenes that he feels like he could do better. Hyunjin might not look like it but he’s really hard on himself. He takes every single scene, every single line seriously and you admire that about him. He even complained to you how he could have done better for the role of Diaval for ‘Maleficent’ from last month’s play.

“So the play’s on March 20th ?” You play dumb and pretend to question him after reading the bold letters written in gold.

Hyunjin peels his eyes away from the script and smiles, eyes forming little crescent moon shape. “Yeah, the day that I’m turning 21, kinda terrifying but since it’s adulthood, I’ll have to bear with it for the rest of my life. At least I have the right to make decisions for myself now.”

You ask him timidly as your hand fiddle with the sleeves of your hoodie. “Uhm so, do you wanna, I don’t know, get coffee after that or something ?”

He gives you a dirty look, hard. Clearly Hyunjin’s annoyed. “Look who wants coffee now.”

“That’s not a ‘no’ that I heard.”

“You’d better pay up then, I haven’t got paid yet.”

five.

[ 8:23p.m. ]

y/n | meet me on the terrace.

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god.” Hyunjin mutters as he rushes to the dressing room, and even more loops of ‘oh my god’ run through his mind, faster than a lighting bolt. He totally forgot about you until you made eye contact with him when the cast members took a full ninety degrees bow to the audience. You were clapping, cheering on for him like an old friend. But you were smiling, so brightly that he thought you could have lit up the entire stadium on your own.

Chan finally finishes bowing to the rest of the cast and the crew. He feels like he can only breathe properly once the play came out smoothly. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Minho slipped over his long coat during the second scene, Seungmin was struggling with the lighting and Jisung nearly threw himself over the balcony. Besides that, everything went pretty okay. Little errors are unavoidable so he’ll let everything slide, because the play that he spent months planning out, training the cast so eagerly didn’t come out as a flop.

“Woah, mate, where are you going in such a hurry ?” He quirks a brow when Hyunjin swings the door open, hair disheveled with ‘panic’ written in bold capital letters across his forehead.

Changbin supplies unhelpfully as he steps out from behind the black curtain. Little strips of confetti are sticking onto his sweaty hair, thanks to Jisoo who kinda went overboard with the can of hairspray. “He invited a friend to come in and watch the play, can’t leave her hanging now, can he ?” He wiggles his brows in the most obnoxious way possible, being the little pest that he is.

“I didn’t even say that my friend’s a girl— she’s not even my friend— wait, she is but we’re not that close— what, fuck you.” Hyunjin gives up after four attempts of forming an actual sentence. As if he’s forgotten how to speak, his voice fails him once again when a witty retort lingers at the tip of his tongue. He gives in and goes behind the curtain, quickly changing out of his costume. Like okay, pirates are cool and all but their sense of fashion is pretty questionable because leather boots and salt water ? Not compatible.

Changbin peels the confetti off his hair before singsonging. “Our Hyunjinnie got himself a date, he’s all grown up now.”

Chan throws his head back and laughs wholeheartedly. This is why he’s not planning on falling for someone soon because having a chaotic, annoying group of friends can only make things so much more difficult. “Give him a break, Bin. A boy can love whoever his heart yearns for.” Then he pauses, and continues. “Do you want to tell us something about her ?”

Hyunjin scrunches his nose and starts singing. “Sing a yo ho, you can beg, plead and whine. But yo ho you are wasting your time.” The moment he finishes the line, he’s already changed into his normal clothing and pushed the curtain open.

Chan and Changbin looks unimpressed. They both think that their friend should really stop quoting his own lines. Hyunjin throws Changbin the hook, then checks his own reflection in the mirror. Not too shabby, at least he didn’t forget to shave this morning. But it’s just you after all, you’d never judge him… wait no you’re highly judgmental. You once called him out for having a piece of carrot in the corner of his lips, shameless.

“Hear me out one last time, mates. Then I’ve got a date with destiny.” Hyunjin continues to sing because he’s absolutely enjoying every moment of Changbin suffering and mentally dying on the floor. He wouldn’t even feel bad if his ears started bleeding or something, hanging out with weird people have turned him into a sadist, just like them. Tragic.

Before Chan decides to wrestle him to the floor, Hyunjin starts moonwalking towards the door as he jumps straight to the last bits of the song. “Sing a yo ho, I’ll meet her tonight. Yo ho must be fate’s design. At last our hearts can be intertwined, can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait. God is on my side.” He’s just making up lyrics at this point nothing makes sense anymore.

The door shuts with a small ‘click’, making him snap his mouth closed. Then I’ve got a date with destiny. Right, a date. Well, it’s technically not a date when you asked him to meet up on the terrace where there’s so much to offer. A brilliant view of the city, the ethereal moonlight which sets the atmosphere, just you and him standing face to face.. holy shit it’s a date ?

“You’re late.”

Hyunjin whines loudly at your cold statement and supports himself on his knees, chest heaving up and down at an abnormal space. Cystic fibrosis and ten flights of stairs are like water and oil, they don’t blend. “I was changing, do you know how hard it is to slip out of those leather combat boots ?” Upon your silence, he leans himself against the metal railings and sighs, standing a good six feet away from you. “Hey, at least I looked fly in them.”

You automatically groan because fuck yes, he did look hot. Pirates aren’t supposed to be hot, they’re supposed to be smelly barbarians with shitty attitude. “Since when are you so cocky ?”

Hyunjin tuts. “I’m very much aware of how good looking I am, thank you for taking your precious time to care about my tiny existence on this glorious planet.” He cocks his head sideways, narrowing his eyes at your sketchy posture. Both hands are hidden behind your back and you’re trying too hard to keep a straight face. “What are you hiding from me ?”

“Nothing.” You let out a small giggle. Clearly he’s not buying it. “Fine, close your eyes.”

Hyunjin frowns at you but still closes his eyes nonetheless. He has enough faith in you that you won’t have the heart to knock him out cold before selling him off to some kind of mafia organization. “Y/N if you’re planning on kidnapping me, you might as well just do it—“ The words grow dead on his tongue once a small ‘pop’ occurs. What the fuck ?

“Hey Hyunjin.”

He flutters his eyes open at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue. His hand immediately fly to his mouth to stop himself from screaming. “Oh my god, shut the fuck up !” He utters, shocked at what’s happening in front of his eyes. “You’re kidding, you’re kidding, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

You laugh loudly at how frantic he is once you get down on one knee with a black velvet box in your hand. A silver band with his name engraved on the inside. “Hwang Hyunjin, can you fathom enough courage to walk with me through your youth even though sometimes you wish you could throw me off a cliff ? Can you bear the burden of indulging an impulsive and indecisive person like me in the long run ? Because if you can, then happy 21st birthday, you’re officially stuck with me with the label of being best friends.”

Hyunjin teases, lips curling up into a smile. “Can’t you be a little bit more romantic ?” Although he’s decently attractive, he’s still one of those guys who bury themselves in hopeless romance just because he spends way too much time on Netflix watching some random sappy show while Kkami is watching some stupid dog documentary right next to him on the couch.

“Fine, I also got myself one. We’re matching.” You confess, showing him your band resting nicely around your index finger. “Since I just know you so well, are you happy with your present now birthday boy ?”

You finish it off by slipping the ring onto his finger like a cherry on top of a sundae, watching in amusement at how his face is lighting up with joy. “Wow,” He manages the breath out, as light as a feather. “You’re so fucking cheesy, I hate you.”

You laugh wholeheartedly. “Come on, let’s go downstairs. You have a whole party waiting for you to inhale. Cakes and junk food and all.”

When you stand up right again, shivers run down on your spine at the cold breeze passing by. The wind greets concrete and your skin just the same, tearing through the air and banging loudly against your eardrums. Hyunjin suddenly grabs the sides of your face, still keeping a good distance between you two. Your cheeks are instantly tinted pink at his touch. “Y/N ! Can you hear me ?!” He tries to shout over the wind but fails miserably.

“What ??” You ask loudly, not being able to catch what he was trying to say.

“No, you can’t hear me ??”

“What ? I can’t hear you !”

He beams at you and the strangest warm feeling bubbles up inside his stomach. “I have something to tell you !” If he’s doing this now, there’s no going back.

“I still can’t hear you !”

Hyunjin ignores your confused expression. He slowly inhales to take a deep breath before shouting his heart out at you. “Y/N, I’ll protect you ! No matter what !”

You can’t quite understand what he’s trying to convey to you but seeing him smiling so widely like this, you know that you could never trade him for anything else. Because no one has ever made you feel this way before, heart pounding inside your rib cage so loudly just by looking at him. You like how you can just see him, and be happy.

He’s irreplaceable.

six.

Felix glares at the silver band wrapping around your finger, one that’s particularly matching with Hyunjin’s. “So what ? You two are dating now ?”

“Lee Felix I swear to god, for the tenth time, it’s a just birthday present !” You cry loudly at your best friend overreaction.

Jeongin butts in. “Yeah right, rings, matching and all. Don’t you think that’s a little bit romantic ?” You’re so fed up with these theatre kids it’s actually ridiculous, you’d rather be cursed than have them singsong into your ears everyday about how you and Hyunjin are acting somewhat sketchy. Sure, being dramatic is naturally what they do for a passion but sometimes you just can’t help it but snap at them to go and kiss a statue.

“That’s the point of it, dipshit.” Hyunjin sips on his drink obnoxiously, reading through the final page of his reading assignment in a haze. He’s a little bit out of it from running around all day to not get yelled at by his professors for being late to every single damn lecture. “I’m desperate, I need something cute to lighten up my sad life so don’t judge me.”

Jisung suddenly pries loudly because unlike you or Hyunjin, he actually gives zero fuck about publicity and personal information. “Hyunjin and Y/N ? I ship it ! Since you both have been super single and super antisocial for so long, why not date each other ? Get married even, don’t you dare forget my invitation.”

Needless to say, he quickly earns a smack on the head from Seungmin, hard. Hard enough to knock some logic and common sense into that little disturbing glimpse of thing that they call ‘a brain’ inside his head. “God, Han, you’re so dumb. If you want them to both choke on each other’s bacteria and die, then yeah, hit a five-star restaurant up with that reservation.”

Sometimes Seungmin wonders why he even befriended Han Jisung in the first place. They nearly threw hands at each other back in highschool because Jisung would constantly forget his stuff inside Seungmin’s locker and Chan had to manually pull them apart later.

“Actually..” Hyunjin fiddles with the strings of his hoodie. “I think I might have my eyes on someone.” Your heart automatically sinks at his words. Is this what betrayal feels like ? How come he’s never told you before ? Didn’t he promise that he’d never hide anything from you ? Does your friendship mean nothing to him at all ?

You’d be lying if you said that you haven’t once thought about dating Hyunjin. But you don’t really see the point because it’s just a label over your relationship, it’s not gonna change how you treat each other. At least it’s not gonna change how you treat him.

But in the end, you want nothing but the best for him so you’re obligated to become his dating counselor.

Felix tuts eagerly. “Ooh, spill the tea. I’m here for it.”

“Let me guess, it’s that girl from Literature & Criticism 19B ?” Jeongin yawns lazily. Apparently he’s not digging the fact that Hyunjin doesn’t have any non-platonic interest in you.

Hyunjin shakes his head profusely. “No ! We barely talk, it was only for a presentation from last month. And also I feel kinda awkward around her. Things never click between us.”

Then, he proceeds to continue with dreamy eyes. “The girl that I’m talking about is so beautiful, so smart, so brave. She enjoys food like no other, like no one is watching and isn’t ashamed of the fact that she can live off donuts and Netflix for three weeks straight. She’s honest, playful but also very gentle and caring. Kinda reminds me of my mom, which is weird but whatever. Maybe people finding a sense of comfort in their partner who’s similar to their parents is a thing.”

The look in his eyes makes your heart crack a bit. Just a teeny tiny bit. It’s that kind of look that you’ve never seen before but know too well what’s behind those brown eyes of his. The goddamn look one can only have when they’re thinking about that special someone who effortlessly makes their heart swell, who puts a smile on their face no matter what. It’s also that kind of look that you have whenever you’re thinking about Hyunjin.

“Alright lover boy,” You crack a smile, rolling up your sleeves because things are about to go down. “You’ve just got yourself a dating counselor. A good old trusty friend who’s gonna be there if you accidentally have a mini mental breakdown on your first date.”

“What do you know about dating ?” Felix’s more than stingy comment just stabs your sky high ego like a needle pricking the tip of a finger.

You kick his knee from under the table, earning a low grunt in return. “I am the best in the business. Jackson Wang and Mark Tuan ? I did that.”

Then you lace your fingers together neatly and look at Hyunjin dead in the eye. “So, what’s your ideal first date ?”

He makes a thinking face. “I haven’t thought about that yet but maybe.. a hike ?”

“Huh, cool.” You take a total of ten full seconds to process what he just said.

You deadpan. “It’s a hard no. Consider the fact that she needs nothing but donuts and Netflix in her life, you’re gonna have to rage war with Satan in order to get her out of the house. Popcorn and blankets are total necessities, make them extra fuzzy too. Let’s stick a pin in that, we’ll get back to it later.”

Felix asks, followed by a loud yawn. “Copy that, what shows is she into ?”

Hyunjin lets out a prolonged sigh. “I’m not so sure but she hates rom-coms and sappy dramas with a passion.” If you’re being completely honest, he really needs to calm down because if a girl is willing to cuddle with him, she’ll literally watch anything. And by that, you mean she will definitely pass out after the long winded introduction of the two protagonists.

“Sounds like a gal who’d watch The Umbrella Academy.” And you totally didn’t say that just because it’s your favorite show. Because for once, Netflix actually didn’t produce something that was undeniably shitty.

Hyunjin sounds uncertain. “I have never seen it before.”

“But he can ?” Jeongin raises a brow.

You shake your head gently. “The show is vicious, violent and contains extremely disturbing content along with really shitty relationships between siblings. Also, the humor doesn’t suit you. Does a fifty-year-old man who’s stuck inside a thirteen-year-old boy’s body and is also someone who fell in love with a mannequin, grew up in a broken family, and became a murderer who timetravels sound enjoyable or what ?”

Seungmin makes a face. “That can be a dealbreaker.”

“Meet us halfway here !” Jisung clatters loudly.

“Sorry, let me back it up a little bit.” You put your hands up in defense. “Hyunjin, it doesn’t matter if all you want to do is go out on a hike and she just wants to curl up into a ball inside her blanket. It doesn’t matter if you guys have different taste in movies. Nothing matters if she truly feels the same way for you because as long as the feeling is mutual, she’d definitely do anything to satisfy your picky ass.”

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything. He turns his head to face the window and a grin quietly curls its way up on his lips.

You should have seen the look on your face.

seven.

Woojin growls at you from your laptop screen. “It’s one in the morning ! Get the fuck back to sleep !”

He’s extra cranky today because he just finished off his final paper before graduation happens. Running on one hour of sleep per day with a cup of espresso doesn’t sound like the most ideal thing to do but fuck that, he’s not gonna throw all those years of crying over overdue projects in the trash.

You on the other hand, are so fucking close to soil your pants because your heart is literally dangling off the edge. It’s either gonna roll backwards and land safely as if nothing has ever happened or everything’s going downhill from there. An endless pit of impending misery. And you’d hate to see yourself shedding tears while hogging a bucket of ice cream in your bed like a psychopath. So your only option is unfortunately, your hard headed, dumbass brother.

But he’s not a complete idiot because his brotherly sixth sense is still there, and it’s never been better. “Okay, something’s up. Spill before I personally drag my ass to the hospital and beat you up to get something out of you.”

You stutter, tripping over your own words like an absolute fool. “It’s— uhm… whatever, it’s not a secret anymore. It’s— it’s—“

“It’s Hwang Hyunjin.” Your brother reads your mind like a magician, leaving you utterly speechless. But it’s not even a surprise because apparently, everyone knows about your feelings for Hyunjin, just not Hyunjin himself. He’s unbelievably dumb even when Minho and Jisung keep on hinting at him in a not very subtle way. And that makes you wonder why you even fell for him in the first place. Even that fat cat who always takes naps on your balcony knows because you’d be smiling stupidly while FaceTime-ing Hyunjin all the time. It’s a miracle that the cat has not once given you a dirty look.

You sigh. “Yeah, I‘m confused.”

“About what ?” Woojin huffs tiredly and blows some strands of hair out of his face.

You blurt, panic mode is fully on. “About why I like Hwang Hyunjin so fucking much when he already had romantic interests in another girl !”

Woojin thinks you’re being ridiculous and stubborn at the same time, which can make things that much harder for him to break it down for you. Firstly, if one is loved, then one is loved. There’s no reason needed for loving. This might sound like total bullshit, but ‘love at first sight’ is a thing, people are just too heartbroken to accept it these days. Secondly, if you really like Hyunjin all that much, you should be spilling your heart out at him, not at your brother. But whatever, Woojin is one step closer to pushing you towards confessing to your crush because he’s gifted with the ability to prevent you from doing anything dumb.

“Then what makes you not wanting to like him ?”

You widen your eyes. “What ?”

Woojin shakes his head gently, an exasperated sigh escapes his lips. “You can’t love all of him. This is real life, not a fucking John Legend’s song. If you don’t even know what you hate about him in the first place, you’re not gonna know why you like him relentlessly.” His words slowly sink into your mind, trains after trains of thoughts are dashing through your mind at the speed of light. Goddamn, your brother is right.

“Gosh, I don’t know. I can’t hate him even when I want to.” Before you can pick every single strand of hair off your head, Woojin once again snaps you back into reality with a serious look on his face. He’s not messing around this time. “One, he’s a CF-er. And two, I’m not gonna be the one who walks down the aisle to have them announce our marriage. Three, he only sees me as a friend.” There’s no happy ending for people like you, especially you. The moment you found out that Hyunjin’s also a CF-er, you knew all too well that it’s over for you both.

Your brother scrunches his nose in annoyance. He really should have signed you up for a dating counseling session. “You don’t know what the future holds. It could be better, it could be worse. Or nothing would change at all. Whatever happens, humans still yearn for the happy ending of their own imagination. Because after all, we were the one who pushed ourselves towards dead ends.”

“What’s so wrong with loving someone ?”

“There’s nothing wrong with loving someone, but how we love them.”

Again, Woojin’s right. Every minute, every second, every moment with Hyunjin always leaves you completely stripped and vulnerable. All of your concerns, insecurities, and strength are revealed unintentionally. And the walls that you’ve spent years building ? Mercilessly destroyed. Someday, you’ll either look back on it and smile or you’ll realize that once you’ve fallen, there’s no turning back. You just can’t control who you’ll fall for.

Being in love with Hyunjin is another reason why you believe that life hates you to the very core of your bones. It’s like the whole universe is playing with your mind, because all it takes is to make Hyunjin exists at the same time as you do. That alone is enough to mess up your entire existence.

You cover your face with your blanket, voice muffled beneath the soft fabric. “What’s your point then ?”

“My point,” Woojin sits straight up from his bed and yawns in the loudest, most obnoxious way possible. “is that you can still fall for Hyunjin even when he’s a CF-er, even when he likes someone else. Hyunjin is still Hyunjin. Cystic fibrosis or none, he’s still just Hyunjin. And you love him for who he is. Don’t ever forget that. And don’t get mad when things don’t work out because loving is hard, loving is painful. You just try your best not to get hurt. Every scar has a story and it represents how you’ve grown throughout time. So it doesn’t matter if you accidentally trip and make a fool of yourself. You simply like Hwang Hyunjin, and I’m not going against that.”

You unknowingly smile. The perks of having an older brother always come at the most unexpected time. You suddenly feel bad for all of those kids who grew up without siblings.

“So are you telling me not to be all sad and miserable ?”

Woojin nods absentmindedly. “Precisely. One day you might be strong enough to smile as you watch him intertwining his fingers with another woman’s. Give them your blessings, countless words will never be enough. What they want is your genuine honesty, how you’re truly happy for them. After that, take a different turn, or just move on as it is in silence. But do not let the memories that you made with him become meaningless because trust me, that hits harder. And that’s how you can love someone without being petty about it for the rest of your life.”

You say. “I think I can hold back my tears when Hyunjin’s getting married now.”

“But he needs to know first.” Woojin interrupts you abruptly.

You break out of your trance and ask. “Knows what ?”

“About your stupid feelings for him !” Woojin is quick enough to hold back the scream stuck inside his throat because if not, Chan’s gonna grill his ass so hard for making questionable noises in the middle of the night while his roommate is stressing over a song that’s yet to be complete. The double life between a college student and a SoundCloud rapper isn’t as hot as people tend to think. It just consists of a whole lot of cramming homework while trying to come up with a new batch of lyrics every two weeks.

“He deserves to know that. The sooner the better.”

Conveniently, your phone buzzes on your night stand.

[ 1:17a.m. ]

hyunjin | I’m gonna do it.

hyunjin | I’ll confess to her.

hyunjin | this is so terrifying what do I do ?

eight.

“Y/N wait up, you still have to take your medication !” Mark yells after your panicked figure dashing through the hallway while he’s pushing a cart with an awful amount of medicines piled up.

You shout back at him abruptly. “I’ll be back in an hour ! Don’t tell Jackson about this !” Whatever, you hate being on a drug trials anyway. Having multiple pills shoved down your throat each and everyday makes you sick to the core. It seems like you’re only getting closer to being buried six feet under the ground. But that’s not the point.

Point is, if you’re going to die sooner or later, there’s no way in hell you’d let your life end before you tell Hyunjin how you truly feel about him.

“Hyunjin, where exactly are you going ?” You manage to talk in between short breaths while having him on the other line.

He replies bluntly, uneven breathing and quick footsteps can be heard. “You know how everyone has their own youth, right ?” You keep running despite the fact that what he said just makes no sense. What on Earth is he planning on doing ?

“I also have a youth of my own.” He pauses for a while. “But it seems like… my youth is one to be forever reserved.”

You shake your head furiously, confused at what he’s trying to convey. “Hyunjin, I don’t get it. One moment you’re talking about how you’ll confess to the love of your life and now you’re telling me this ? Did something happen ?”

Hyunjin ignores your question and continues. “My parents would always urge each other to work harder, to make more money so that I can have a lung transplant and prolong my life day after day. But it’ll cost us five hundred thousand dollars, eight hundred even. So I was more than happy to tell them that I’m ready to stop walking on this beautiful flower path anytime. Then, I saw the heartbroken look in my mom’s eyes. That look, it’s— it’s haunting, and hurt me profoundingly.”

His breath hitches, making your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Knowing that he’s in such a vulnerable state but there’s nothing you can do about it hits so hard that you hate yourself. “There was a man who came up and met me in my hospital room one day, told me that he saw every single play that I’ve participated in. He wanted to sponsor me, to let me fully enjoy my own youth, to give me the money to fly to the States, to get a lung transplant, and lead me to stardom afterwards.”

“But..” He suddenly chuckles. “I have no desire to receive his generosity. Not even one bit. Now, before you start yelling at me, hear me out. I know that I’m selfish, I know that I’m being stubborn but the life that he’s talking about. That’s not the life that I’ve always dreamt of. The life that I wanted, is one where all of my family and friends, are eternally safe, and happy. That’s it, it’s as simple as that. Hence, I’m willing to give that chance to someone else. Someone who’s very special and close to my heart.”

Hyunjin lets out a muffled sob on the other line and you’ve never felt so helpless before. You just wish you could run to him, tell him that everything’s gonna be okay, and touch him. You don’t know how someone who’s so close can be so far away at the same time.

“Because.. well, because cystic fibrosis isn’t just leading me on a path that’s one step closer to death, but it’s also threatening the happiness of the girl I’ve unfortunately fallen for. Unfortunately, that is. She’s always been the biggest ‘what if’ because there were nights where insomnia would creep up on my spine, it was impossible to shut my eyes with her on my conscience. Because why me ? Why me ? I just need a little bit more time, just a little so that I can see her smile, so that I can hold her close, so that I can finally tell her how I really feel.”

“Time is a currency that you can only use, not make. And I’m already running low. Obviously, I can care less even if I die tomorrow. But as long as I’m alive, let me live as merrily as possible, as happily as possible, and to be able to see my loved ones as long as possible.”

Just then, it feels like the whole world just stops spinning when all you can hear is the sound of your shoes tapping against the ground, and him sobbing like a distressed child, raw deep down from the inside. You didn’t realize that you’re crying uncontrollably until salty drops of tears trickle down on your cheeks and drench the collar of your shirt. They blur your vision but you keep on running because Hyunjin needs you, he needs you now.

The icy grey sky is like a piece of fabric draped over the whole town. Dark clouds snuggle closer to each other as they hold in the heavy rain in their delicate forms. All of a sudden, rain pours over you with a roar, thunders grumble vigorously in the distance. The coldness of its touch pierces right through your skin and chills run down your spine beneath your clothes that are now soaking wet. Your footsteps never once falter and continue to move on down the slippery path.

“To love you as long as possible.” Hyunjin breathes out, as light as a feather. “Y/N, I hate to break it to you but I no longer want to be friends with you. Because I already love you too much to accept the label of being best friends.” He says with such determination and huffs. “With that being said, I’ll now consider the ring on my finger as a proposal. And to answer your question on my birthday, yes, I would love to walk with you on this path with the remaining time. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, to care for you, to be someone that you can lean on. So what do you say ? Are you ready to take my hand and my hand only ?”

“Yes, I am.” You stop once you’re right in front of the café that Jisung used to work in, where many unforgettable memories were made throughout time. And on the opposite side of the road, is Hyunjin. Your knees grow weak at the sight of him. Damp hair, teary eyes with a smile on his face. He’s absolutely ethereal and it’ll only take you a few more steps to get to him. “Hyunjin !” You wave at him, the balls of your feet automatically send you running towards his direction.

You feel like you’re hazing because everything’s all too good to be true. How he’s looking at you lovingly, how you’re yearning for his touch, how you’re so close to have him in your arms. Sadly, the sound of rubber tyres hissing against the concrete floor snaps you back to reality. Before you can even process anything, there are two lights ahead blinding your eyes. With a jolt, you realize that those lights belong to a car.

You didn’t know how it happened but the next thing you know is the feeling of the entire weight of your body is pinning you to the ground. Every single limb, every part, every organ inside your body feels like they are being crumbled like a piece of paper. Pain, there’s so much pain. The metallic taste of blood is soaking through your teeth, leaving you in that weird grey area between being awake and being unconscious. You can feel your flesh being torn open, your bones cracking, your lungs caving in for cramped air in silence. Silence, that scares you more than the blow itself. It feels like an eternity, just lying there, completely paralyzed as you wait for Death to arrive.

It seems as if the agonizing pain is the only thing that's keeping you alive.

“Y/N ! Y/N !” Hyunjin calls out to you helplessly as he cups the sides of your cheeks. Seconds later, you can feel his mouth against yours, giving you the amount of air that your lungs has been dying to have. “Y/N, stay with me, stay with me.” He mumbles against your ear before wrapping your arms around his neck to carry you on his back. Hyunjin is chasing time through the night, through the hellish downpour to not waste a single minute, a single second to keep you safe. Because he’s just so sick, so fucking sick of life for taking everything away from him. He’s not gonna lose you, not like this.

“Hyunjin,” You whisper weakly.

He shakes his head. “Don’t fucking die on me or I’m never gonna be able to forgive you.”

“Hyunjin, I’m kinda sleepy.” You laugh, tasting the coopery blood inside your mouth. “I’ll just take a nap, just for a while, okay ?” Hyunjin doesn’t say anything, you can’t tell whether he’s just being stubborn or he can’t hear you with the heavy rain down pouring onto him. But that doesn’t matter anymore because you’re far too exhausted to start arguing with him. Naturally, you’re going to allow yourself to black out either way.

nine.

Weeks later, you’re standing on the rooftop by yourself to run away from the stuffy air of the hospital, those floors and walls that all have an undertone of bleach. They suffocate you, everything does.

You watch the sunset at horizon, enjoying the majestic sight in front of you as if it’s the last thing you’ll ever witness. Rich hues of red, yellow, orange blend into one another gracefully, dancing in between the pink fluffy puffs of clouds. Your spirit soars into the distance as you inhale deeply, feeling refreshed after a long day. It does feel nice to not have all sorts of machines attached to your body like ropes that are tying you down into a single place and trapping you inside a tiny box.

Everyday, you’d sneak out of your room to come up here, and meet him again.

“Y/N,” You close your eyes, smiling at the sound of his voice echoing inside your ears. “By the time that you’re listening to this audio, I would probably, you know, be gone.”

A single tear silently roll down on your cheek. “But I’ll tell you what. I’m not scared of dying, because having the persistent information that I’m always one step closer to hell than everyone else has accidentally made me numb. I am terribly afraid of one thing though.” Hyunjin clears his throat. “I don’t want to be separated from my friends, my family, and from you. Moreover, I don’t want to see the people whom I love so devotedly suffer just because of me. I know what you’re doing, wipe those tears off your face right now. Chin up, and smile. Or you’ll end up complaining about your face getting puffy again.”

You laugh at his words, and attempt to wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt. “Once I’m no longer walking on this flower path with you, that means a new chapter is ready to be open. I cannot thank you enough for bumping into me that day. And thank you for agreeing to practice my lines with me. I could have never played Captain Hook if it weren’t for you. And thank you, for the ring, it’s the most precious thing I've ever had on my hand. But I’ve figured… you deserve a new life. I know that five years doesn’t sound like much but maybe in those five years, things might change and there will finally be a cure for cystic fibrosis.”

“You might think, how could you possibly move on without me ? Well, think of me as a dandelion. Oddly charming, with a short life span. But I’ll never really go away because at the end of its life, a dandelion’s pistil will give birth to countless of seeds. Those seeds will be carried away by the wind and continue to grow, to breed, to multiply themselves for so many more purposes.”

Hyunjin suddenly starts crying quietly, you can hear how he’s trying to muffle his sobs and it makes your heart shatter into a million pieces. There’s absolutely nothing that you can do. “I’m very content with the life current that I have, or had. At least I’ll die knowing that I have no regrets.” He chuckles. “But there’s still something that I need to tell you, just in case. Not to be pessimistic, but just in case.”

“Y/N, I love you, more than anything in the whole wide world. It’s so frustrating because there were times where I wish I could just have you in my arms, to feel your warmth, to kiss you, to touch you. I don’t care about labels because that wouldn’t change my feelings for you. I’d still love you foolishly because I care too much. Too much that it hurts. I want to spend the little amount of remaining time with you. I even don’t know if you’re the one but I need you in my life. You and only you.”

His voice cracks. “...just don’t miss me too much, okay ?”

You can swear that it’s not hazing but if you look far enough, Hyunjin is still there, waving at you with a smile on his face.

Approximately six feet away.

#stayshub #stray kids ot9 #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin fic #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst #stray kids fanfic #bang chan #kim woojin #seo changbin #lee minho #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin

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transjoyblog · 4 years

Text

The 5 Most Powerful Lessons I Have Learned from Chasing Financial Independence

Photo by KANIKA PANT on Unsplash

I have always been interested in money. I have always understood the value of saving for something you want and the value in owning your own means of making more money. My mother always told me that working for someone else would never be stable and the only way to independence is owning your own business. This is not exactly true, but this advice did spur my interest in the concept of financial independence. I ran across this idea for the first time when I was maybe 17 years old. I read an article by the great Mr. Money Mustache and ended up doing a deep dive on his website. I was inspired. I thought that I had finally found the solution to the risk associated with owning a business. I was going to be financially independent.

Then I got a little older and had to start providing for myself and my girlfriend. We had a goal of moving out of our parents house, and the tiny little desert town where we grew up, to move to a much larger (read: more expensive) job market. That’s when I learned my first lesson:

Financial independence is simpler than it seems, but that doesn’t mean it’s easier.

If you spend any amount of time on a blog dedicated to the FIRE movement you are bound to come across an article (or 10) about the few simple habits that lead to financial independence. These articles are really informative, and a helpful place to start when building frugal habits, but this simplicity belies frugality’s true nature. Put simply, being frugal is hard. Really hard. My girlfriend and me have made some big sacrifices. When I wasn’t making any money, (think $500/month) we didn’t have many friends. We hung out at my girlfriend’s sister’s house a lot, and we ate really simply. Oatmeal for breakfast, rice and beans for lunch, and we went over to her parents house for dinner more often than we wanted to simply because we would otherwise go without dinner. Other factors contributed to this particularly extreme situation. My girlfriend was very sick, so she couldn’t eat well even if we could have afforded it, and she was so weak that maintaining friendships was basically impossible. We also weren’t perfect about it, even when I was making that little. I failed, messed up, got angry, frustrated, and worn out more often than I was successful, but that all served the larger goal of teaching me that simple habits do matter, but I couldn’t expect them to be easy to execute.

2. Know thyself

This particular period of our lives was also filled with navigating the consequences of our parents financial mistakes. My mother decided to take out huge student loans just to get my sister out of the house, and send her to a rather expensive university in the middle of the country. This proved to be a terrible decision. My sister ended up transferring to her local community college, for which she needed to take out more loans. All told, my sister came out with an AA and something in neighborhood of $60,000 of student debt between herself and the loans my mother took out on her behalf. I’m not sure how much of this my mother helped her with, but suffice it to say my mother was in a terrible financial position for awhile, one from which she has yet to fully emerge. This set of dubious decisions was motivated by more complex thinking than I have laid out here, but the end result is the same nonetheless. My mother stretched herself too thin.

If you are truly pursuing financial independence, you have to have a really clear picture of your finances, but you also have to understand how you react to financial pressure, how much risk you are able to take with your investments, and you have understand what your target is. If you are the kind of person who just throws money at a problem until it goes away, you will find it difficult to save for any kind of future. You have know that you have this tendency and consciously make decisions against this knee jerk reaction. If you don’t like having your back against the wall when creditors come calling, pay off your credit card balance in full every month, and never take out a loan that you expect someone else to help pay for (because there will inevitably come a time when they can’t pay). If you are just aiming to get your kid through college, then look for the most affordable option. Don’t send them to the 4 year right away if you really can’t afford the loans for all four years. An important tip for all you parents out there, know yourself and know your children. Be brutally honest in assessing your child’s ability to perform at university because it is simply impossible for them to be. People simply do not have a clear enough picture of their own abilities at any age, let alone an untested 18 year old. If my mother had done nothing else but this, she could have avoided everything. If she and my sister had just been honest about what my sister could handle, they would have realized that sending her to an expensive, extremely difficult program 1,000 miles from home was maybe not the best idea. She could have even gone to the community college in a better location. That alone would have saved them tens of thousands of dollars. My theory is that my mother was a little blinded by her own history, and she didn’t want to deny her child the same opportunity that her parents gave her. My mother left home at 17 years old for a very expensive (at the time), extremely difficult program at a private university 1,000 miles from her childhood home. This is where their stories diverge. My mother’s university was not nearly as expensive as my sister’s. My mother is also a very different person than my sister. She was the kind of kid who kept track of her own grades from 4th or 5th grade on, and encouraged her children to do the same. She did this because she, in her words, “wanted every single point [she] deserved”. Unsurprisingly, neither my sister nor myself actually did this. Ever. Not even in college. We are just different people. And if my mother had been able to admit this fact, she could have saved everyone a lot of headache.

3. FI is a huge goal, and it may seem impossible when viewed from the start

Most people understand that being the first person of your family to graduate from college is a huge moment for a lot of people, and rightfully so. College can be incredibly difficult especially if you are the first person in your family to attend to completion. The one thing that people like myself, whose family has had 3 generations of college grads, don’t even think to consider is that families that do not have this privilege may not have the full picture of what it takes to finish college. The first person to graduate will not only be doing it alone, but they will have to balance the pull of a family that may not understand or respect how much time, money, and effort you actually have to invest to achieve graduation. The same basic issue arises when you are pursuing financial independence. Your family may not even understand what you mean, or why it matters so much to you. You will have to be prepared for this possibility, no matter what goal you are striving toward. However, just like being the first person to graduate college in your family, being the first person to achieve financial independence is a huge accomplishment.

This something that I thought I knew. I was aware of how large an undertaking this would be before beginning my pursuit, but I call it a lesson because I didn’t truly know how this reality felt until I was in the middle of it. As I get older, and my personal finances are no longer purely theoretical, I have come to understand just how difficult FI is. The pandemic brought this into sharp relief. I lost my job at a bakery, went on unemployment, and moved back in with my girlfriend’s parents while still paying rent in San Diego. I got a job a few months later, and it was a good one. I thought I was set for awhile. I thought we had our FI strategy in view; I was wrong. The company couldn’t afford me anymore and let me go after just under 3 months. All of sudden, we were living off of our small savings. We burned through them because unemployment took about 2 months to get my payment to me. I ended up taking a minimum wage job at a factory. I hated it. We were back to being broke and making minimum wage, this time with less savings, more overhead costs, and no way to know if I would be able to find a better job any time soon. Financial independence never looked further away. This experience did however, serve as a great way to really drive home the fourth lesson:

4. Odds are, it will take a lot longer than you originally hoped, and when you are just starting out you will face major setbacks especially if you are in a lower income bracket

Dealing with setbacks in an effective and resilient manner is something you should anticipate and prepare for, regardless of when you start your journey towards independence. Basically anyone with any level of financial savvy will give you this sage piece of advice. It was losing my job twice in one year, however, that taught me that frugal habits are great tools, and they will help you get out of and avoid a lot of pain and suffering. But that doesn’t mean that these habits are a magic shield that will save you from any downside. Setbacks are hard on you. They can mess with your mind, and cause you to doubt everything you thought about your progress up to that point. When I get into this state of mind, I have found that it helps to remind yourself that progress is not a linear equation. Progress is a lot more like the Japanese proverb “Fall seven, rise eight.” You have to be prepared to have that kind of grit.

5. It is a lot harder to save money, when you don’t make money

There has been a lot of ink spilled, both physical and digital, on exploring the different aspects of the phrase “Money doesn’t buy happiness.” One of my favorite studies to cite on this issue is a study out of Purdue University that explored the concept of “income satiation” around the world. Meaning, how emotionally and physically “satisfied” people report being in relation to their annual income. This is a quote pulled directly from the abstract of the study. “Globally, we find that satiation occurs at $95,000 for life evaluation and $60,000 to $75,000 for emotional well-being.” This statistic has been quoted, analyzed, and touted by many a finance journalist as proof that money doesn’t buy happiness. However, I would be very happy making $60,000 to $75,000. With our current expenses my girlfriend and me could save for financial independence within a decade or so of making that much money. This would include reaching all of our goals of buying a house, and land, and finishing college. But a lot of people simply will never have a salary this high. They may have a total household income in this range, but living in a 2 income household is, in itself, a privilege. Once I realized that I could feasibly never make that much in a salaried position without a college degree, I had to expand my FI strategy beyond just “get a decent job, save as much as possible, invest a ton of money, and wait.” I have to invest in my education. I have to invest as early as possible in the stock market. I have to build something outside of a regular job that could possibly act as a hedge against job market instability. I have to make “earn more money” a huge priority. I never thought that was a worthwhile pursuit but it really is. Making money opens up so many opportunities, if you know what to do with it. Which is why it would be good for higher income earners, and people that have already achieved FI to remember that making money is difficult. Investing time, energy, money, and effort into growing something that may not even pay off is simply not possible for a lot of people, and it would serve anyone well to remember this throughout their journey to financial independence.

Citations:

Jebb, A.T., Tay, L., Diener, E. et al. Happiness, income satiation and turning points around the world. Nat Hum Behav 2, 33–38 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-017-0277-0

#finance #financial independence #entrepreneur

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adapted-batteries · 4 years

Text

Making Art

Fandom: The Librarians

Rating: General/sfw

Relationship: Flynnstone

Word count: 7274

Summary: Instead of never leaving his hometown, Jacob goes off to college under the guise of getting the only degree his dad values, petroleum engineering, but of course also majoring in art history. In “Survey of Native American Art,” he meets someone who he only knew before as “guy who basically lives in the library stacks.” Of course, Fate decides he needs to suffer through a group project with him.

Alternative summary: What would happen if Jacob Stone went to my alma mater and met Flynn there?

Also posted on my Ao3.

-----

Jacob thought well and hard about how he was going to convince Issac to let him go to the University of Tulsa. There were several hurdles he had to overcome: Pa was a University of Oklahoma man, and here he was wanting to go to the nerdiest school in the state; he already knew more than enough to run the oil business, why would he need to waste his father’s money on a useless degree; if Jacob went to Tulsa for four years, he couldn’t keep cleaning up his father’s messes, and there was a real risk of Isaac running the company into the very ground it drilled.

He had solutions to all of these things. The University of Tulsa had the best petroleum engineering degree in the Plains, and he’d always be a boomer sooner fan. And, while his high school grades weren’t too spectacular, his test scores and essay application for the Presidential Scholar program at TU got him a full ride. All he needed was Isaac to let him go and then not kill his company, and he’d be set.

Isaac didn’t need to know about Jacob’s ulterior motives. Tulsa was over 100 miles further from home than Norman was, for one, and Tulsa had a budding humanities program that Jacob really wanted to get invested in. He’d suffer through the engineering degree, but what was going to get him through it were the other courses he had in mind to take out of the humanities, languages, and arts departments. If he was lucky, he’d weasel himself a position of some sort at Gilcrease Museum just so he could learn even more from their displays and get into their archives.

When his acceptance letter came in the mail, Isaac read it with disdain. “When’d ya apply to that place? OU not good enough for you hm?”

Jacob kept the kitchen counter between himself and his father. “No I, well, I wanna do good for the business, and TU’s got the best oil program in the state, you know.”

“I didn’t need no fancy engineerin’ degree to make money,” Isaac countered, eyeing Jacob.

He kept himself from flinching from his father’s glare. “No, but now days you gotta have one to get started. Besides, couldn’t hurt to have one to spread our reach.”

Isaac tossed the nice letterhead on the counter. “Hmph. Well, how’re you gonna pay for that? I can’t just shill out that money.”

“I’ll, I’ll figure it out,” Jacob supplied. He’d already sent off his extra application for a full ride scholarship, which he hoped his more than qualifying exam scores and a 15 page, single-spaced analysis on Choctaw artwork and mythology would be convincing enough to award him.

“Fine, but I’m not co-signin’ any loans.” Isaac fished around in their refrigerator for a beer. “John’s off takin’ care of Sylvia, I need you on the rig Saturday.”

“Alright,” Jacob said. He had planned to spend the evening reading some books he had picked up from the town library, but that’d have to wait. After his dad wandered over to his worn recliner and he heard the click and buzz of the TV, Jacob sighed and set about making them dinner.

---

That August couldn’t get there quick enough. There were many, many times he thought about not going. He’d miss all his friends, his home town, and his pa. But, by the time he loaded up his truck and drove two hours northeast, there wasn’t any backing out now.

When he arrived on campus, he felt very out of place, but that feeling quickly faded once orientation week started. By the time classes started, he didn’t ever want to leave. His experience from oil rigging he already had carried him through his engineering classes, so he could devote himself to his other pursuits. Language courses, literature, history, art, those were the subjects he spent near all his time on. This also meant he spent a fair time in the library.

During his second year, a new student seemed to be competing with how many hours they could clock in the library. He was a nerdy sort, Jacob thought, which meant he was going above and beyond the above-average level of studiousness the student body already had. They quickly established a routine around each other. Jacob would go to his study carol he’d staked the previous year, the leftmost one in a set of three in a forgotten corner of the stacks no one except this new person seemed to want to go to. The newcomer took the study carol two down from him, rarely acknowledging Jacob’s presence.

Their schedule he figured out within the first two weeks of class. Mondays and Wednesdays Jacob would get there first, the new guy coming about an hour later and staying while Jacob left for class. Tuesdays and Thursdays the newcomer was there before him, and would leave around two hours into Jacob’s studying. Fridays the guy wasn’t there at all, at least not when Jacob was, but he practically lived there Saturday, no doubt not going to the football home games.

The beauty of studying in the stacks was that no one talked like they did in the study areas. The hum of the air vents, the scratch of his and the other guy’s pencils, the flip of books, and occasional footsteps of a seeker of knowledge comprised his sound track. He and the guy even alternated who stood and waved their arm to reactivate the lights when they timed out.

Without realizing, he had learned a fair amount about the guy from just studying near him. He was either dressed like a stereotypical professor, or a bedraggled grad student, which predicted how late he had stayed up the night before (confirmed by how prominent the circles under his eyes were). He had notebooks for every subject, and he studied near every subject, though a good amount of the books he hoarded were Native American ones. When he was frustrated, he might mumble under his breath, but most certainly made his hair even more wild by running his fingers through it. When he was hyperfocused, he'd sit on one foot, scratching furiously in a notebook.

Jacob never learned the guy’s name until the next semester when he had a class with him. Jacob had gotten himself into an upper-level Native American history course, filled mostly with history majors finishing their degrees and grad students. Not wanting to seem too eager, he chose a desk one row back from the front row. People he knew from previous history courses meandered in as it neared time to start the class, and some he chatted with, asking how their breaks were and such. The professor walked in right on time, a stack of syllabi on top of a binder in one arm, an insulated travel mug in her other hand.

Dr. Mashunkashey had begun going over the syllabus when the door to the classroom opened, revealing the guy from the stacks. He looked a bit disheveled, running late from somewhere it seemed. “That’s a two for two for not showing up on time to the first day of my class, Flynn,” the professor said, but she didn’t seem that annoyed by it.

“Sorry, I stayed up too late reading,” Flynn replied. “I got a bit carried away following sources referenced in Reclaiming Diné History.”

“Of course you did,” Dr. Mashunkashey said with a laugh, handing him the last syllabus. “Go on and have a seat.”

It turned out the easiest seat for him to take was the one right in front of Jacob. Jacob gave him a nod, which Flynn returned quickly, and then sat down. Jacob focused himself back on the syllabus on his desk, but his mind kept drifting to the man in front of him. He’d caught glimpses of the books Flynn read in the study carrel, and they were quite all over the place in subject matter; any given day he might have had a botany book, or a German biography, or something on Egypt. And now here he was, sitting right in front of him, apparently having spent the previous night doing the same thing Jacob did, though at least Jacob’s morning gym sessions meant he was never late to class like Flynn was.

The sound of a bunch of pages flipping snapped Jacob back into reality. The professor was explaining the main project of the class. “You’ll each focus on a particular tribe’s art, and an era within that. The paper requirements are in the syllabus, standard format. Images are welcome, but don’t shirk on your words because of them. Then, for the second part of this grade, you’ll work with a partner to make some form of art, combining the styles of both of your papers.”

Flynn raised his hand, but Dr. Mashunkashey shook her head. “Yes, Flynn, you’ll have to work with a partner.” Jacob stifled a laugh when Flynn’s shoulders slumped, but apparently not enough as she glanced at him before looking back at the syllabus. “The art component can be anything. Music, painting, writing, whatever, so long as you both incorporate themes from what you highlight in your paper. Since art can take time, and you might want to coordinate what art styles you’ll be using, go ahead and pick your partner.”

Jacob started thinking through the people he already knew in the class, but Flynn startled him out of his thoughts by turning around. “Do you want to be partners?”

“I, uh, sure,” Jacob stuttered. The professor had apparently been watching Flynn to see who he’d pick, and Jacob saying yes surprised her, based on her raised eyebrows. "Do you know what you're gonna do your paper on?"

Flynn didn't hesitate to respond. "Hohokam culture."

"I'd been thinking of doing Pueblo myself, so that should work well," Jacob said.

Dr. Mashunkashey cleared her throat, getting the class to quiet down. “Okay, now that you all have partners picked, we’re gonna get started.” She moved behind the computer and proceeded to give her introductory lecture on Native American art.

---

When the class came to an end, Jacob packed up his notebook and walked around the side of Flynn’s desk. “Hey, since we’re doing a project, we should exchange numbers.”

Flynn had been still scribbling something down, so it took a beat before he looked up at Jacob. “Phone number, yes, that’s a good idea.” He fished out his phone from a worn messenger bag stuffed with books and notebooks, handed it to Jacob, and then went back to writing.

Jacob waited for him to say more, but he didn’t speak, so he opened the phone and texted this is flynn’s number from Flynn’s phone to himself. Flynn was still writing, so he cleared his throat to get his attention. “Uh, here’s your phone.”

Flynn looked up a bit faster this time and took the phone. “Great.” He looked as if whatever was in the notebook was reaching out and trying to drag his head back to it, but he was now trying to fight it, looking at Jacob like he was trying to memorize Jacob. “Um, I’ll...see you around, in the stacks.”

He hadn’t imagined Flynn would be so awkward. “Sure, probably will.” Taking it as a cue, Flynn gave in to the pull of his notebook. Jacob wandered up to the professor; he had a habit of chatting up his professors after the first class, and today was no exception. Dr. Mashunkashey had just finished talking to another student when he walked up.

“I’ve heard good things about you, Mr. Stone.”

“And I’ve heard good things about you, too,” Jacob replied. “I wanted to take your class on Osage history last semester, but it conflicted with a class I needed to take.”

“I’ll be teaching it again in two years, so you’ve got some time,” she replied. Mumbling came from where Flynn was, making them both glance at him. “So you’ve got Flynn as your partner...that should be interesting. Do you know him from somewhere?”

“Yeah, I met ‘em in the library,” Jacob replied.

Dr. Mashunkashey laughed a little. “That sounds like the place to find him. Well, I look forward to your paper. Daniel, Dr. Griffith, liked your final paper so much he couldn’t quit talking about it.”

Jacob’s ears reddened a little. “Oh, well, I’m glad he enjoyed it.”

“Are you considering grad school?”

“Well, I’d uh, been thinkin’ about it, yeah.” He wasn’t about to tell her that he was also doing an engineering degree to take back home.

“If you want to talk about it, stop by my office anytime. There’s definitely fellowships out there for students like you, if finances are a concern.”

Jacob couldn’t help but perk up at that. “I’ll take you up on that. See you during office hours.”

---

Flynn, it turned out, was kind of the worst. Jacob wasn’t in a rush to get the project going, considering it wasn’t due until April anyway, but Flynn wanted to get started right away...at 3am apparently. Jacob hadn’t seen the string of texts until the next morning.

Flynn 3:04 AM: Can you do pottery? There’s a ceramics studio in Phillips Hall, I think I can get access to it.

Flynn 3:05 AM: There’s a few designs that would work for my time, depending on what works with your era.

Flynn 3:07 AM: You could decorate half and I’ll do the other.

Flynn 3:15 AM: Are there specific techniques your people used in their pottery making? We should use a traditional method.

Jacob didn’t reply right away. He went about his morning routine, and was on his way to the gym when his phone buzzed again.

Flynn 8:07 AM: What do you think about woodworking for our project?

Jacob groaned out loud, no one close enough to hear him. No wonder the professor was shocked he said yes to Flynn.

Jacob 8:08 AM: We have months to do this project. There’s no need to start so early.

Jacob shoved his phone in his pocket on do-not-disturb, intending to ignore any messages for the duration of his workout, but now that Flynn got him thinking about it, he sent off one more text.

Jacob 8:09 AM: I think pottery would probably work best. I’m sure we can manage it between the two of us.

Flynn responded almost instantaneously.

Flynn 8:10 AM: That’s what I was thinking. Though if we really wanted to incorporate both, we could also include the woodworking.

“Lord,” Jacob hissed, earning a confused look from the bleary-eyed student working the desk at the gym. He took his student ID and apologized. “Sorry, thanks.” It wouldn’t be that bad, so long as he didn’t let Flynn get under his skin.

Despite his efforts, Jacob’s workout was overshadowed by his loud thoughts. It wasn’t that he hoped Flynn would be cool, but, well, from months studying silently next to each other, Jacob had wondered what he would be like as a friend. He wanted to know what went on in Flynn's brain, what made him tick, what he did outside of class and studying. But now, he realized, Flynn was a brilliant mess of an academic who breathed school 24/7.

---

Flynn hadn’t been in the library Monday afternoon, and Jacob hadn’t gone to the library Tuesday. He hadn’t gotten any texts from him either, so by their second class on Wednesday, Jacob was curious what Flynn had been up to. That curiosity grew when Flynn showed up with a new notebook he hadn't had on Monday, already a quarter of the way filled with notes. "Jacob! So I talked to Kelly, er, Dr. Mashunkashey, and she talked to the art department, who then talked to the main ceramics professor, and he emailed me back saying we could do our project in his studio."

Jacob was kind of shocked at how fast he’d contacted people. “Well, that’s good.”

“I think we could start working on it, hm, next week?” Flynn looked down at Jacob expectantly, as he’d yet to take his seat.

For whatever reason, Jacob got an odd feeling in his stomach, but he ignored it. “I wasn’t plannin’ on gettin’ goin’ so soon, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I’ve only read about their pottery techniques, not done them, so extra time might be a good idea.” Flynn was practically vibrating with excitement at his response, which made Jacob laugh before he could stop himself.

Flynn thankfully didn’t think he was mocking him. “Great! The studio is open for us Friday afternoons.”

“I can do that,” Jacob replied. Flynn somehow smiled at him even more than he was, and well, Jacob couldn’t deny it felt nice to have that joy aimed at him. It didn’t last long though, as Flynn sat down when Dr. Mashunkashey walked into class. Flynn turned around in his seat and started going through his notes on the techniques he wanted to try until the professor had her powerpoint up and running.

Flynn wasn’t as insufferable as he thought, his excitement contagious, but Jacob realized this project was gonna be tough for another reason: he was falling for Flynn.

---

Jacob hadn't done any ceramics since art in high school. Flynn said he could, as apparently he minored in art to add to his many degrees, Jacob found out. It unnerved him a bit, to know that Flynn already had 2 Ph.D.'s and 3 masters in Egyptology, two ancient languages, Chinese history and physics, and that Flynn had no plans on stopping from acquiring more. All Jacob had was a high school diploma, though he had a lot in his head from the books he devoured and the time he spent out on the oil rigs.

The ceramics studio was thankfully empty when they arrived. The room was open, old windows hinting at a time when the space used to be an engineering workshop when the art building used to be the engineering building, which the engraved stone above one entrance still said. Shelving with a variety of in-progress and complete works lined most of the walls, with tables in the center of one half of the room, and space for throwing wheels in the other. It smelled like wet earth, and for a moment, Jacob imagined he was out on a new rig after a rain.

The professor who taught ceramics classes gave a basic rundown of the room, clearly with the dual purpose of informing them of where things were and sussing out just how skilled they were. Flynn's rambling at various points about technique and clay types seemed to satisfy the professor, who left them to their devices.

Flynn took a hunk of clay out of the plastic bag and started rolling out coils on top of a drywall square. "Okay, were there specific techniques you need to incorporate from your time period?"

"Well, it was coil-based, like yours, though the clay they used had a different composition ‘cause of where they sourced it," Jacob replied. Flynn had set him on making the base, so he was rolling out a slab to index finger thickness with a rolling pin.

It was clear Flynn had worked with clay before. He already had several coils made and covered to prevent drying out while Jacob hadn't even gotten to the right thickness yet. "Dr. Kanhg couldn't get clay with the mineral composition we needed, but he does have matte glazes we can use to make the clay look the right color, give it the more reddish hue," Flynn said. His eyes then flicked to Jacob's work, brow furrowing. "You're rolling it too thin."

Jacob had been paying attention to his clay, but then he had gotten distracted by Flynn working, how delicate yet firm he rolled out the coils under his palms, the way his hair flopped a bit with his head bent down. Jacob had rolled his clay out all right, to about an ⅛ inch thick divot in the middle with over an inch thick edges from not flipping his slab. If he was making a mini half-pipe, he would've done a fine job. "Uh, sorry, I'll start over." He went to smush it together when Flynn yanked the clay out from under his hands.

"If you do that you'll dry it out with the oil from your hands," Flynn snapped like Jacob was supposed to know that. Flynn folded it twice and then started slamming it on the drywall slab to combine it.

"I've only done ceramics once in high school, man," Jacob retorted, puffing himself up a bit on the stool he was sitting on.

"Clearly it shows," Flynn replied, salt in Jacob's wounded ego. Flynn, not very gently, shoved the drywall square with the now condensed clay over to Jacob. "Pay attention this time."

Jacob grunted at him, not trusting himself to say anything good, and rolled out his slab again. This time he kept his eyes glued to his work, ignoring the pinprick sensation of Flynn's judgemental gaze on him. He rolled it out well enough, and used a large yogurt container to trace out a circle and cut it out.

No sooner than he finished sliding the knife around the trace he made and started to pull the excess clay away, Flynn snatched the circle and started working it to attach the coils. "I was gonna do that," Jacob growled, watching Flynn flip the edges up with more speed and evenness than Jacob would have.

Flynn didn't look up at him. "And I'm sure you'd have to do it twice too."

"You don't know that," Jacob muttered, watching Flynn. He looked around the studio, feeling useless, so he said, "Is there something I can do? It's half my project too."

Flynn stopped working, glaring at him for a moment before softening his expression. "Have you made a coil pot before?"

"No...but I think I can do it from watching you," Jacob said.

Flynn narrowed his eyes a bit, but gently slid the partially done pot across the table to him. "Pinch and smooth down on the inside to connect the clay, but don't push too hard or you'll warp the coil below."

Jacob got halfway done with the coil before he punched through accidentally with his finger, making a hole. "Well fuck," he said as Flynn let out a frustrated sigh. It was going to take forever if he kept working, so he passed it back to Flynn. "Sorry."

"Since you're just going to mess it up, let me make it," Flynn said with exasperation. "You can decorate, if you won't mess that up too."

"Just ‘cause I'm not some genius like you and I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I can't do it," Jacob barked. For an instant he reminded himself of his father, and he cringed a little. He’d startled Flynn too; where Flynn had been repairing the hole Jacob made, there was now a rip again. “Sorry, I, uh, look. It took a lot for me to get here, and I wanna learn just as much as you do, but if you’re gonna treat me like I’m an idiot, I’m just gonna leave.”

Flynn didn’t respond at first, so Jacob started packing up his things and leaving. “No, wait!” Flynn grabbed his forearm; thankfully Jacob hadn’t rolled down his shirt sleeve yet. “I’m not good with people.”

Jacob huffed. “You don’t say.” He glanced at Flynn’s clay-dusted hand, still holding him, which made Flynn release him.

“I mean, school, learning, it’s everything to me. I don’t want to mess this project up. It has to be perfect, everything does, because that means I understand it.” Flynn went to rake a hand through his hair, but at the last second realized his hands were not clean, and stopped himself. “I just want one group project to go right. I hate group projects, but I need you to prove to Dr. Mashunkashey that I can work with people. She says I need to be able to do that if I want to be a professor.”

Jacob was not expecting Flynn to open up to him like that. Nor was he expecting the warmth in his chest when Flynn said he needed him, but he pushed that aside before he did anything reckless. “I’m willing to put in the effort if you are, but you have to let me do some of the work. I’m not gonna flake out.” Jacob hadn’t realized just how spooked Flynn was until he relaxed, tension released from his shoulders.

“Okay.” Flynn looked at the in-progress pot for a moment, then said, “I’m going to finish fixing the hole, then you can try again. You have to be gentle with it.”

“I know.” Jacob sat patiently, waiting for Flynn finish the repair. Once he did, he pushed the pot to Jacob. He started adding a new coil, but after a couple pinches, Flynn stopped him.

“You’ve got to be gentler than that,” Flynn said. “Can’t you feel when the clay is giving too much?” Without warning, Flynn took Jacob’s hand, looking at his fingers. “Oh, of course you can’t, you’ve got calloused fingertips.” He glanced up at Jacob. “Guitar, I assume?”

Jacob was doing all he could to contain himself. “Uh, yeah, and probably from years of working on an oil rig too.”

Flynn nodded thoughtfully at the addition, clearly filing it away wherever he was storing facts about Jacob. He hadn’t let go of Jacob’s hand, and this time Jacob wasn’t going to do anything to make him. “You’re pushing too hard, and thus thinning the clay too much at the join, that’s why you punched through,” Flynn explained. He then moved Jacob’s hand back into position, but this time, keeping his hand on top of Jacob’s. Their hands together almost didn’t fit into the pot, but Flynn made it work. “I’m going to press down so you can feel how hard you can go without breaking it, okay?”

Jacob nodded, not trusting words at the moment. Flynn proceeded to work the clay through Jacob’s hand, somehow just as good as he was before. Part of Jacob’s brain noticed that he didn’t push near as hard as Jacob had been when trying to be gentle, and filed it away, but most of his brain was focused on how intently Flynn was watching their hands work, and then how intently he was looking back at Jacob when he stopped. “Did you feel the difference?”

“Uh,” Jacob cleared his throat when it came out husky, “yeah, I did. Thanks. You really know your stuff.”

He noticed Flynn blush a little at the compliment. “Good. Uh,” Flynn realized he was still holding Jacob’s hand and released him, “now you try on your own.” After Jacob satisfactorily did a whole coil, they alternated until they reached a stopping point a third of the way through. “We need to let it dry to leather-hard before we add any more, otherwise it will collapse.”

Jacob vaguely remembered that leather-hard was a term to describe the texture of somewhat dried clay. “Alright. How long is that gonna take?”

Flynn considered the room a bit, thinking. “Today’s a humid day, so it would probably be best to wrap it with a paper towel and leave it in a plastic bag, then check it tomorrow.”

“Alright.” Jacob went and gathered the plastic and paper towels while Flynn fiddled with a coil. “I guess we can come back Monday afternoon?”

“That should be good, yes,” Flynn replied, swaddling the base of the pot with paper towels. He took a strip of plastic and wrapped the rim, and apparently noticed Jacob watching him. “This will keep the top fresh so when we come back, we can continue working it.”

Jacob nodded. He helped Flynn clean their area, replacing tools and wiping down the table. Done with their tasks, they awkwardly stared at each other across the table for a few moments before Jacob said, “Well, guess I’ll see ya Monday then?”

“Yes...see you then,” Flynn said, and then without warning, he rather hastily left the studio.

Jacob watched him go, then sat back down on the stool he’d been sitting on. “Oh Lord.”

---

He felt kind of guilty when he pulled up Clayton’s contact on his phone. He’d not been great about calling like he’d promised when he left Lawton, but Clayton always told him he knew college was hectic and to not worry about it. Still, as the phone rang, Jacob felt bad about calling just to talk about his personal life.

“Hey, long time no call, eh?” Clayton said as he answered.

“Yeah, sorry man. Some of these engineerin’ classes I should’ve tested out of, but they don’t really do that here,” Jacob replied. He was in his apartment, laying on his bed.

“I bet you could test out of half of that degree,” Clayton said with a laugh. “So what’s new with you?”

“I was gonna ask you that first,” Jacob said, feeling his face heat up already.

“You know I’d tell you the same as a few weeks ago, ‘cuz nothing new’s happened,” Clayton replied. “Plus,” Jacob could hear the smile in his voice, “I got a feelin’ you’re gonna ask for advice about somethin’.”

“How’d you, ugh, never mind,” Jacob scoffed, really blushing when Clayton laughed at him again. “Yeah, I got a...situation.”

Clayton sighed. “And who is he?”

Jacob sighed. “He’s in my Native American art history class, we’re partners on the group project, but I actually knew him before it.”

“...Wait, is this the same guy who you studied with in the library?”

Jacob shook his head, yet again surprised by how well Clayton could read him, even over the phone. “Studied near, but yeah. Turns out he’s doin’ a Ph.D. in Native history.”

"So he’s closer to your age?”

“I think so, though he might honestly be younger than me. The man’s got like five degrees already,” Jacob said, not bothering to keep the contempt out of his voice.

“So you went and fell for a genius, huh?”

“He’s a smartass,” Jacob said, but after a moment he added, “yeah, I have.” He was super fortunate to have such a good guy as Clayton he could call his best friend. He’d fallen for him too, briefly, but Clayton didn’t feel the same, and then Clayton decided it was his job to be Jacob’s wingman.

“And does he feel the same?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think so at first, but now…”

Clayton chuckled. “Then tell me what happened.” Jacob explained the happenings in the ceramics studio. “Well, he sounds awkward, but I think it’d be best to ask him directly.”

Jacob knew Clayton was going to say that, but he still felt shocked. “I can’t just ask him!”

“Why not?” was all Clayton said.

“‘Cause, well, if he doesn’t, this whole project is gonna be awkward.”

“Isn’t it already though?”

Jacob thought a moment. “Well, I guess, yeah. But I also don’t wanna get distracted before we finish this project. It’s worth half our grade.”

“So you’re just gonna pine away in silence for three months?”

“It might not be three months...Flynn’s too focused on doing this project as quick as we can.” Jacob hadn’t really considered that until now. “If we get the project done quick, then there’s nothin’ stoppin’ me from askin’ him after.”

“That’s the spirit. Let me know how it goes, you know I wouldn’t mind drivin’ up if you needed it.”

“Thanks, Clayton.”

"Anytime, Jacob."

---

Jacob decided that getting the project mostly done was the priority. This meant he had to suffer through two more equally awkward handbuilding sessions before their pot was ready for the first firing. At least in class, Flynn’s back was to him, except when they had class discussions. By the time they started glazing their pot, Jacob swore Flynn knew exactly how he was making him feel.

Glazing was just as messy as he remembered in high school. Flynn didn’t care about the state of the table, or himself, so long as his strips on the pot were perfect replicas of various designs he picked. Compared to the pot making, Jacob turned out to be the better painter. The hardest part for him was picking the designs he wanted to use.

Jacob was halfway through a strip when Flynn asked, “Where did you learn how to paint?”

Jacob snickered a little. “Same as most everything else, self-taught.” He glanced at Flynn, who currently had smears of blue underglaze where he’d wiped his forehead. “Are ya goin’ for war paint too?”

Flynn narrowed his eyes, confused. “What?”

“You got underglaze on your face,” Jacob said, pointing at Flynn’s forehead with the brush.

Flynn swiped at his forehead, making the smear worse, which just made Jacob laugh harder. “Oh yeah? Well-” Flynn decided to go for direct retaliation and swiped at Jacob’s face with his orange-covered brush across the table “-Now we match!”

Jacob tried to dodge, about fell off his stool, and Flynn’s brush ended up tapping the end of his nose. He knew better, he really did, but Flynn had worn him down the past week, so Jacob got off his stool, holding his brush out like a rapier. “You’ll regret that,” he growled.

Taking the challenge, Flynn got into a much more trained en-garde stance. “I rather think you will!” Then, without warning, Flynn jumped around the edge of the table at him.

Jacob realized that he was outclassed, but gave a valiant effort anyway. Quickly, Flynn had him giving up ground, forcing him to the sink that sat in the middle of the room between the tables and throwing wheels. “You’ve taken a class on fencing, haven’t you?”

“Lessons, when I was a kid, but yes, I’ve been trained,” Flynn replied, spying for an opening to tag Jacob. Just as Flynn lunged, Jacob dodged left, letting Flynn catch himself on the sink. Flynn shook his head, a mischievous grin on his face. “You, you’ve got some fight experience too.” He took a swipe, forcing Jacob closer to the finished projects shelf. “But not formal, no...brawls, that’s what you get into.”

Jacob took a jab at Flynn, gaining a foot of ground, but Flynn quickly forced him back two. “Not been in a scrap in a while,” Jacob said, trying again to swipe himself some room.

Seeing Jacob essentially pinned, his left blocked by the stoneware clay reclaim bin and a table, Flynn went for the killing blow. Jacob knew how to read people in fights, and Flynn had gotten to the “confident of a win” stage, so Jacob ducked at the last possible second. This meant he was out of range of the brush, but Flynn was now barreling straight for the shelving. Without thinking, Jacob jumped back up, wrapping his arms around Flynn’s waist as he did and pushing him back away from the shelf.

“I was going to stop myself,” Flynn quipped as Jacob released him.

“I know overshooting when I see it,” Jacob retorted. He hadn’t stepped away from Flynn, nor had Flynn stepped away from him. They were less than a foot apart. Flynn’s eyes were dark, no doubt from the adrenaline of the fight; Jacob assumed he looked a similar state of riled up. He caught himself glancing at Flynn’s mouth without thinking, and was about to step away, until Flynn mimicked him, glancing at his lips.

Jacob closed the distance between them before he could think of reasons why he shouldn’t.

Flynn kissing him back made him forget any of those reasons.

An odd wetness on his forearm made him pull away. Flynn’s paintbrush had made an orange stripe on his arm. He looked back to Flynn, eyes even darker than they had been. “Guess we should finish the pot.”

“Uh, y...yeah,” Flynn said eloquently. “I didn’t know you…”

Jacob laughed under his breath. “You’ve been driving me crazy the past three weeks.”

Flynn’s eyes went wide. “I thought you were angry at me.”

Jacob closed his eyes, a smile on his face. “You really weren’t kiddin’ when you said you’re bad with people.” He opened his eyes when he felt Flynn shaking his head, nose brushing against Jacob’s. “Well, maybe I can teach you a thing or two,” he murmured, giving Flynn a tease of a kiss before pulling away again. “But we really should finish the pot.”

Flynn took a moment to adjust his focus. “Right, yes.” He stepped away, smoothing out his shirt in an effort to make himself look less flustered. He walked over to the pot, but turned back to Jacob following him. “So, we’re doing this?”

The fact that Jacob was now finding Flynn’s awkwardness really endearing was a testament to just how hard he’d fallen for the genius. “I am if you want to.”

Flynn nodded...and nodded some more before he responded, “Okay, good, yes, I very much want to do that again.”

Jacob laughed. “Well, we can make out as much as we want after we finish this pot, ‘cause the next firing is two days from now and it needs to dry before then.”

The motivation of more set a fire in Flynn’s belly; he attacked the pot with his brush, clearly caring less about perfect replication and more about finishing in the same general design so he could go do better things. Jacob put a little more effort into his, and thus was still painting when Flynn finished his underglaze design and cleaned his materials up. Flynn managed to sit there for 30 seconds before he interrupted Jacob. “How much longer will you take?”

Jacob glanced over at him, an eyebrow raised. “Why, you got somewhere you gotta be?” Flynn squirmed on his stool, making Jacob feel the heat of satisfaction in his chest. “I’ll be done when I’m done. I might just reward ya for your patience,” Jacob said with a smirk.

Flynn practically melted under his gaze, ears going red. “Okay...fine.”

It was just too fun seeing the effect of his words on Flynn. “Can you wait a little more for me?” Jacob rumbled, letting his voice get low and gravelly. “I’ll make it worth your while.” Flynn shuddered, making Jacob smile.

After Jacob slightly more hastily finished his strips, Flynn practically threw himself at him. Jacob had to make himself shove Flynn off him. “Hey, I didn’t say you could do that,” Jacob growled more than he had meant to; Flynn shuddered a bit. “We need to clean up, and not make out in a public classroom.” Flynn looked like he was enjoying getting told what to do too much, red flush on his face and neck, but eyes definitely staring Jacob down. “Look, once we clean up, we can go to my apartment, alright?”

Flynn, also very aware of how he was affecting Jacob, moved back into Jacob’s space. “You took entirely too long to say that,” he said, voice low and a bit breathy. Flynn leaned–not to kiss Jacob again, but to grab the dirty paint brushes on the workbench, making Jacob lean into empty air. Flynn looked at him expectantly. “Well? We better clean up then.”

“You little…” Jacob shook his head, smiling deviously. Flynn preened as he dramatically walked to the sink, knowing full well Jacob’s eyes were on him.

They could’ve been perhaps more thorough in their cleaning, if they weren’t both busy imagining what they were going to do to each other once they got to Jacob’s apartment.

---

The next class, Jacob had intended to play it cool, meaning acting like nothing unusual happened between him and Flynn. That fell flat when Flynn, arriving just barely on time as usual, strode over to Jacob with a dopey grin on his face. For a moment Jacob was terrified Flynn was going to kiss him in front of the whole class. Thankfully, Flynn just patted Jacob’s hand, purposely drawing his fingers away sensually, and then sat in his seat.

Once his brain restarted, Jacob looked around as discreetly as he could manage. No one seemed to have noticed, expect Dr. Mashunkashey, who was watching him with curiosity. Thankfully, she started class, and Jacob did his best to take notes and not reach out and pet the back of Flynn’s head.

On the way out of class, Dr. Mashunkashey stopped Jacob. “Jacob, can you talk for a moment?”

Jacob looked to Flynn, who was all but dragging him out of class to “work on the paper” which Jacob knew wasn’t what he was planning. Flynn didn’t seem to think anything amiss, so he said, “I’ll meet you outside,” and left the classroom.

“Everything okay with your project?” she asked, glancing at the door. “I know Flynn can be a bit...much, so if you need me to talk to him, I can.”

Jacob went a bit red, but tried to power through. “Oh, uh, nah, everything’s good. We’ve even started making our art piece.”

Dr. Mashunkashey seemed a bit surprised with his response. “Well, that’s certainly a change. I look forward to seeing what you two make together.”

Jacob’s brain of course heard “seeing you two together” and had to blink a few times to refocus himself. “I, uh, think it’ll be pretty good. It’s been a long while since I worked with clay, though that’s apparently one of Flynn’s many damn talents.” Jacob kicked himself internally, cursing in front of a professor like that.

Dr. Mashunkashey, to Jacob’s surprise, gave a hearty laugh. “I wouldn’t say it’s often I teach students who have more degrees than I do children. Though I think you could put Flynn in his paces from your papers so far.”

“Oh, I don’t think I could be as good as him,” Jacob retorted, pausing as he briefly considered what that would entail, “I’d have to quadruple major or something.”

“Well, I don’t want to keep you. Flynn seemed pretty eager to get to work.”

“Yeah...he really likes to work on things when he’s focused on them,” Jacob replied, pointedly making his way towards the door so he didn’t have to directly look at the professor. “Have a good day, Professor.”

“You too, Jacob,” she said with a wave.

Flynn was apparently waiting to pounce on him in the hallway, which Jacob had briefly pondered if he would, so he braced his arm to keep Flynn off him. While it did keep Flynn from macking on him, Flynn also took his arm and entwined his own, and started walking down the hall. “What did she have to talk about?”

“Oh, uh, she asked if we were doing okay–I mean, our project,” Jacob stammered, glancing down at their arms.

Flynn didn’t seem to care and just kept walking towards the stairs. “Oh, well I bet she was surprised to hear I’m not procrastinating on a project for once. Speaking of projects,” Flynn leaned to speak lowly into Jacob’s ear, “I was thinking we could move our research to your place, or mine.”

“Uh huh,” Jacob chuckled. “Well, I suppose we could do that.”

They did not, in fact, work on their project that morning.

---

In the end, they got an A on their papers, project, and presentation of said project. And Dr. Mashunkashey won her bet against her colleagues that Jacob and Flynn would get together by the end of her class.

-----

Post Notes: Sorry for the quick ending, I’ve been sitting on this fic since February and never finished it, so I figured making an ending and getting it out was better than it sitting in my google drive forever. Also, when it comes to ages, I saw them both as a bit older than your usual 18-22 college students; for both they’re at least 23 or so, Jacob from working with his father, and Flynn from doing other degrees.

The University of Tulsa doesn’t have a Native American studies program (they really should though given location and history of the school), but they do have a well-known petroleum engineering program, which is what gave me the idea of how to get Stone to school. Considering Flynn’s all about ancient history studies, surely the ancient American people he knows about too. And I’m assuming Jacob grew up somewhere out near Lawton, OK, based on the mileage he gave in “And What Lies Beneath the Stones” since the actual town Wagoner (Wagner was what they used in the episode) is about 45 minutes southeast from Tulsa.

#the librarians #the librarians fic #flynnstone #flynn carsen #jacob stone #librarians fanfic #fanfic #a. l. writes

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