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i-cant-sing · 4 months ago

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Time Traveller au part 8

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Part 9 is here!

Everything around you warped as you jumped off the cliff. You closed your eyes as you heard Baldwin scream your name in agony, the air whipped around you and you hoped that you returned to your house, hopefully with a soft landing.

You fell onto the hard ground on your arm, breaking it. You screamed before biting your lip to hold it as you realised that you had landed... in a forest.

You pulled out your time machine and read the time and place.

1530. Ottoman empire.

Oh hell no-

You tried to change the time to return to your present world, but the dial buttons were broken and you couldnt do anything but hope it'll work again and return you back to your time.

Blinking away the tears, you clutched your arm and struggled to stand up, groaning in pain. The fall had knocked the air out of you, and made your entire body ache as you staggered towards a tree for support.

This has to be- Baldwin must've cursed me for leaving him.

Fixing your gown, you removed your wedding veil to make a hijab and used the length of it to cover your body like a chaddar. Clutching your broken arm, you began walking. Where? You dont know, but you need to get out of the forest first as you didnt pay much attention to "Man V/S Wild" because the first episode you watched started off with Bear Grylls drinking his own piss and you didnt think you'd ever be in a situation where you would need that kind of skills.

"And I wont." You huffed, walking. Besides, the wild isnt the only thing you need to survive. You're a lone woman in a forest where good samaritans arent the only ones to cross it. And you dont think you have a fighting chance against strangers with a broken limb.

The sun was starting set by the time you made it out of the forest and you saw a small cottage. If it wasnt for the old woman tending to her chickens outside, you wouldnt have approached her. But alas, thirst and exhaustion overtook stranger-danger and you walked upto her.

"W... water?" You croaked in Turkish, sweat dripping down your face as you clutched your arm. Yes, you learnt the language as a child when there was no cable and the only place you and your brother could watch TV was at your Turkish neighbours house. Granted, all they ever played was soap dramas, but hey- your family was poor and you had to make do.

The old lady's eyes widened at your state and she rushed inside to get water. By the time she came out with her husband, you had passed out.

When you came to, you were lying in bed while the couple fretted over you. It turned out that the old man used to be a physician, so he popped your broken arm back in place and immobilised it expertly so that it allows for optimal healing of the bone. The old lady made you some food and thats when they asked what happened.

"I fell from a tree." You took a bite of the warm meal. "I was hiding there from some slave owners. I lost my parents a few days ago and when they found out that I was alone... they wanted to take me and sell me to the palace." Lying isnt that hard for you when you have so many true events to back you up.

The old couple pitied you and offered you their home. "You could stay here for as long as you'd like. We dont mind. In fact, we'd enjoy the company." You smiled gratefully. As days passed, you began helping them around the house with chores. They were lonely and they enjoyed having you around. You found out that they used to have a daughter but she was one day taken by the Janissaries (members of the elite infantry units that formed the Ottoman Sultan's household troops) to make her part of the harem and they never got to see her again.

It had been a month since you'd been living here. Your machine hadnt worked again and you didnt have the tools at hand to start working on it. You did accompany the old man to the town when he'd go get groceries, but you didnt risk finding a scholar or craftman to help you. No, the moment your eyes landed on the Topkapi palace at the other side of town, you had turned on your heel and already started making your way back to the cottage. As tempting as it was to see just how the sultans were, you were not going to try your luck by being trapped in that castle that had weird politics. Everyone was everyone's enemy- the heirs, the wives, the concubines, the eunuchs- everyone.

You and the old man had just returned from the town and you were trying to calm him down. Apparently, he got into a heated argument with the shopkeeper who was quite influential and lent people money, but he asked for high interest rates on return.

"I'll help you. Maybe I can find some work-" you offered but the old man absolutely refused. He didnt want you to leaving the cottage, especially not alone to go work with these scummy people he did not trust.

You smiled sadly. Perhaps you reminded him of his daughter.

"He's always been like this, but when Ayla was taken, he started loathing the sultan. How can you just break a family like that?" The old lady said as she stirred the pot. You hummed as you set the table, when the old man suddenly burst through the door, looking alarmed.

"Dear? Whats wrong?" The old lady walked up to him. He was looking at you.

"Janissaries- they're here." He said with dread. "The merchant- he must've sent them here! Quick, hide Y/n!" The old lady nodded in agreement as they began pushing you. The old man lifted up a wooden panel from the floor, revealing a small compartment.

"Hide in there and dont make a sound!" They said as they covered the space back with the wooden panel. You held your breath as you peeked through the slits in between the panels.

Just a few moments later, 5 men in red uniforms and swords resting on their sides, brazenly walked in.

Janissaries.

"Where's the girl?" One of them asked as the others looked around.

"What girl?" The old man asked as he pulled his wife closer to him.

"Dont pretend you dont know. We saw you walking in the market with a girl. Where's she?"

"She left. Her parents took her back. What do you want from her?" The old man replied.

The Janissaries kept looking around, going through rooms to find you.

"You havent paid your loan back. We're just here to take her while you make arrangements for your loan."

"I told you she's gone. And I told the merchant I already paid off his loan. With interest."

"Yes, but the interest increased last week. You didnt pay that."

"What does it concern you? You work for the sultan, not the merchant!"

"The merchant is friends with me, a Janissarie. If he's bothered, then I'm bothered. And if I'm bothered, then so is the sultan. Now, hurry up and tell me where she is."

"She's gone-" the old man was cut off by a punch.

You gasped, but quickly covered your mouth as the Janissarie's head snapped in your direction. He couldnt see you, but you could see him.

The old lady was crying now as she tended to her husband on the ground. The Janissaire looked back at her.

"If you dont tell me where she is right now, you will become a widow." He threatened her.

The old lady couldnt say anything as she kept on crying, but she made the mistake of looking at the wooden panel you were hiding under. That was enough of for the armed men to figure out.

They pulled the panel away and there you were, looking up at them with fear. They didnt have to communicate as they pulled you out and threw you over his shoulder, making their way out to their horses.

The old couple begged them to not take you away, but despite your best efforts to break free, you never stood a chance.

"Let me go-" You were silenced with a hard slap. The Janissarie looked at you.

"I will only say this once. I am taking you to the palace. If you make a single sound, I will slit your throat right then and there. If you run, I will behave very badly with you. Nod if you understand."

Some time later, you had been dragged into the Topkapi Palace. The guards talked amongst themselves about you, as if you're deaf.

"We should just sell her to the slave traders." One said.

"Or we could give her to the merchant and he can pay us more than the slave traders." Another said.

"We'll see who will pay the higher price for her. After she spends the night with me." Your eyes almost popped out of your socket.

The creep laughed as he yanked you close by the wrist. "Maybe I'll keep you permanently, tied to my bed-"

Allah, now would be a great time for the time machine to work. I dont care if I disappear before their eyes, I cant stay here-

"Well well well, what do we have here?" The Janissaries all straightened up at the new voice. "Bothering another woman of the harem? After you were almost beheaded the last time you stared at one with your pig ugly eyes?"

"Baris Agha, she is not part of the harem-"

"She became property of the sultan the moment you brought her in the palace." The man snapped at them as he stepped in front of you. Judging from his clothes and his effeminate mannerisms, you figured he was a eunuch. "Lets take a look, hm?" He gripped your chin roughly and tilted your face from side to side, a grimace appearing on his face.

"Not pretty enough to be a concubine. Tch. Maid it is."

Bitch.

"Baris Agha, you cant just take her from us-"

"Need I remind you of the woman from the sultan's war winnings you lot lost because you were drunk? I see, I should go and remind sultan of that." At that, the Janissaries scowled but kept quiet.

"Now stop standing there like buffoons. Go to your posts. And you-" Baris Agha gave you a pointed look. "You dont look from around here, but I'm going to assume that since you havent screamed or tried to run off, you understand what I'm saying, hm?" You gave a nod. Baris Agha rolled his eyes before turning on his heel, beckoning you to follow him with his index finger. "Hurry along. We have to train you for the feast tonight. A few servants died of smallpox, so we're a little short staffed."

You were lead to a hamam (a common bath area). Baris Agha was talking to the old lady standing outside. "She is the new maid. Have her prepared for tonight, hm?" He told the lady who ushered you in.

Baris Agha waited outside the hamam as he heard you shriek and yell, but he was unfazed. Everytime a new girl is brought here, she has to go through the same thing. A hot ,steaming bath, an invasive medical check up, a little degradation, nothing out of the norm. It is necessary to do this because if you are to serve the royal family, it wont bode well for you to be carrying any diseases or... any pride.

"You're lucky I'm short on servants or else I would've thrown you into the sea because I would never wish anyone to see the gait of a cow." He scolded you during your "maid training".

You bit your lip to stop the curses from slipping. You cant risk pissing off anyone here until you can find a way out, or your machine works. You've read details about the life in Ottoman empire, and sure majority of them were muslims, but they still had egos as large as Mount Everest.

"Baris Agha! Baris Agha!' A servant came running upto him. "A fight broke out in the harem! The concubines- ah! Its a mess!" He flailed his hands around in exasperation.

Baris's eyes widened before scowling. "I'll kill them all today! I swear! These women are more trouble than they're worth for!" He grumbled before looking at you.

"Keep moping, I'll come back. Dont do anything stupid or I will make you dig your grave!" He threatened before leaving with the servant.

As soon as he was out of sight, you considered running. But you dont know your way around this maze of a palace, and you dont wish to run into Baris Agha when you're trying to find your way out of these hallways. You need to be careful and find a way out. So, you slowly made your way towards the other end of the corridor while mopping (as an excuse when Baris returns and asks where'd you go) and peeked around the corners. When you found no one, you slowly walked down one end of the hall where you saw a door at the end while the right side of the hall overlooked the palace grounds and the other side of the hall had no doors but had these wooden windows that were shut so you couldnt see through them. You reached the door and opened it slowly, expecting another hallway, but instead you were in a room. Not exactly a bedroom, since you didnt spot a bed, but perhaps a sitting room? Or maybe a study room, judging from the desk in the corner. In the center of the room, there was a huge pile covered by a purple silk cloth. This couldnt possibly be a storage room, right? You walked upto the pile and pulled the cloth off it, revealing an amalgam of... fine things. There were fancy vases, some antiques, swords and a few paintings.

The paintings were stacked one upon the other, and you took a look at the first one- it was Arabic calligraphy. The background was beige with the calligraphy in beautiful black ink. And you recognised the words written. Its Ayat ul Kursi, from Surah Baqrah in Quran. The words were written so elegantly, however as you read the verse, you spotted an error. It was a minor one, but there was a dot missing from one of the letters and now it would be misspelled and the words wont make sense.

You could just walk away. You should walk away. Find a way out. This is not your mess. And this should not bother you.

"If you see something wrong, then you should do everything in your abilities to correct it. Don't be selfish, Y/n." Your brother's voice rung in your ears.

With a sigh, you walked towards the desk and picked up the the quill pen dipped in ink.

I'm only doing this because this painting may one day be passed onto the future generations. Cant have them making the same mistakes. You walked back to the painting. This is the word of Allah. I cant just ignore the mistake.

You placed the 3 foot canvas on the desk and carefully placed the dot to correct the mistake. You held your breath the entire time to prevent your hand from shaking. When you were done, you breathed and backed away.

"What are you doing?" You froze. This- this is not Baris Agha's voice. No, it- it held too much authority.

"I asked you- what are you doing?!" The voice boomed.

"I- I-"

"Turn around." You slowly did and you looked at the man in dark robes in front of you. He was neither a servant, nor a Janissaries. You looked at the fury in his grey eyes, and then your eyes travelled upto his head.

You dropped into a bow, head low.

"I- I apologise, sultan!" Of fucking course! Why wouldnt a sultan- THE SULTAN SULEIMAN, be the one to catch you in the act.

This is it. This is the day I die. He will have my head cut off-

"I asked you, what are you doing?" He asked again. "Who are you?"

"I- I was... I was fixing an error, your majesty." You gulped, head still down. "I am- I am a new servant, sultan. I- I did not know this was your room- I was- I got lost-"

"What mistake?" He cut you off. "Rise. And show me the mistake."

You slowly rose up, though you kept your eyes casted down. You turned back to the painting as he walked up next to you, and you raised your shaking hand to point the area where the ink was still wet.

"The... the dot was missing from this letter. It was spelling mistake. I... I couldnt just leave it... in good conscience." You explained in a small voice.

There was complete silence for the next few minutes. Is this the part where you should start begging him to spare your life? Or should you keep your mouth shut and hope he gives you a less painful punishment?

"Bring the next painting." He commanded without taking his eyes off the current one. You picked up the next canvas and it also had Arabic calligraphy. With his permission, you placed it on the desk as well.

"Well?" He looked at you and you stared back at his grey eyes in confusion. "Check for errors."

You looked back at the painting, another Quranic verse from Surah Rahman. And you spotted the error right away. Again a small mistake, but still if the diacritical marks are not present, then the pronunciation will be wrong.

"Here. And here as well." You pointed out with your finger. He nodded at you to fix it. This time it was much harder for you to stop your hand from shaking, but fortunately, you did.

"Now recite it." You looked at him in surprise. Recite it? You cant stop your hand from shaking with him looking at you and he expects you to recite it out loud in front of him?!

What kind of test is this? And if I mess up, will he have me killed? Oh God, he's going to kill me.

Closing your eyes to stop the tears from spilling, you began to recite Surah Rahman.

Just pretend he's not here, pretend your brother is in front of you and you're reciting Quran to him like you did as kids. Its normal, its just you and Qasim. You and your brother.

You opened your eyes when you were finished. Suleiman was looking at you... shocked.

"That was... my goodness. That was mesmerising." The sultan praised you once he overcame his shock. "And you recited it all from memory. Are you a hafidha?" (someone who has memorised the Quran)

You nodded. The sultan looked even more surprise. He's never heard of women memorising the Quran in his lifetime, and you? You look so young, just in your 20s. Did you really learn the Quran with such perfect recitation?

"How? Who was your teacher?"

"My brother." Which was true. Qasim, your older brother memorised the Quran when he was very young. Your parents sent him to the local mosque to learn and since he was blessed with eidetic memory, things werent hard for him.

You, on the other hand, were not blessed with photographic memory. You werent gifted like Qasim, and since he's always been the shining star, the all rounder, he was your competitor by nature. So while your parents didnt send you to the local mosque to memorise Quran because you're "too young", you made Qasim teach it to you.

He was more than happy to. Qasim, just like his name, was always the "generous one". The one who shares. He's the older brother, the provider. You're the younger sister, the competitive brat. Together, you two made a great duo. Qasim's recitation was far better than yours. His voice brought comfort to the soul.

Once you were able to memorise Quran, you and Qasim would often participate in those Islamic trivia and competitions which would often have some cash prize at the end. And since money was tight at home, you'd both participate and win many such prizes.

"And where's your brother?" "Dead. My family is dead." Well its not like he can go and confirm your story. "I was brought here by the Janisarries. They planned to sell me to slave traders. Then Baris Agha came and made me a servant, saying I belong to the sultan now. He gave me a mop and I was cleaning and then I found my way here..." You explained your situation further, hoping he'd take pity and let you go.

"What's your name?" The sultan asked very calmly.

"... Y/n."

"Y/n." He tested the name. "How would you like a job?"

"I- I'm not a good servant, ask Baris Agha. He'll testify-"

"Not as a maid. As a... teacher."

"Teacher?"

"Mhm. Quran teacher. Teach my daughter Mihirmah how to recite, if not memorise it as well as you, hm?"

"I-" you paused. You need to word this out carefully. "I'm honoured that you considered me for this position, your majesty, but surely, there might be someone else more suitable for this job."

He shook his head. "They're all men. I think if my daughter could have you as a role model, she might be inspired to learn."

"I... I have to go home-"

"Home? To who? You have no family." Of course, your lie backfires.

Seeing your hesitance, he sighs. "Look, you're not a slave here, Y/n. No Muslim in my empire is, so I wont force you to stay here but I think it would be safer for you. A young girl in her prime, living alone in this harsh world- you know just as well of the dangers. Today my Janissaries brought you here, and I will deal with them. But tomorrow, someone else might take advantage of the fact that you have no one to rely on."

You remained silent. He was... right. But-

"If you were to stay here and be Mihirmah's teacher, then I give you my word- no harm shall befall you. You will be under my protection."

Your time machine hasnt shown any signs of working yet, and you dont think you can stay hidden in this empire and avoid people for long, so-

"I accept."

Suleiman smiled. "Good. I think the ink is dry now. Place them back with the pile." You picked up the canvases and brought them back to his collection. As you were placing them down, you noticed the canvas on the bottom, the one you never picked up.

Your face paled.

"Sultana, please focus-" you were trying to get the young princess's attention, which you now realise was a feat in itself and exactly why Sultan Suleiman asked you to teach her.

"No." Mihirmah said. You took a deep breath. She has no interest in reading the Quran, how are you supposed to make her learn a few verses?

She was the Sultan's only daughter, so she was spoiled to the core. Just 19 years old, with high cheek bones, blemish free skin, her ash brown hair that shone, she was the epitome of beauty and the apple of her father's eye. You'd just love to yank her by the hair or smack her with a ruler to make her focus but you also would like to get out of here alive.

"You shouldn't use violence when it comes to Islam. It'll only drive the believers away." You heard Qasim's voice in the back of your head. "I never had to discipline you with hand to make you memorise. If I can teach you, then so can you." He had a warm smile on his face.

But I'm not you, Qasim. I dont have the patience of a saint.

"Alright, sultana." You closed the Quran with a sigh and clasped your hands. "What do you want to do?"

Mihirmah grinned, feeling victorious over you giving up so quickly. "I want you to tell my father that I gave my best in trying to learn this but you dont have the time or skill to teach me. Tell him that you think it might be best for me to take break from learning Quran so that I can regain my focus." She said as she crossed her arms over chest.

"No."

Her smile faltered. "No?"

"No." You confirmed, staring at her dead serious. "I do have the time and skill to teach you the Quran. Why should I lie about myself for your incompetency?"

Her eyes widened before narrowing. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"Who do you think you're talking to?" You asked, collecting your things. "I am not your slave or servant to order around. Your father, the sultan, hired me for a job. I'm the teacher, you're the student and at this moment, I have authority over you."

You stood up and looked down at her with no expression. "I was told the young princess was fearless and as strong as her brothers. I now see they were wrong. If you dont wish to learn, then have the guts to tell your father."

As you turned around to leave, you were immediately thrown against the wall, making you bang your head against it. Enough. You're done playing nice.

Sorry Qasim, but some people need violence-

You were turned around and slammed against the wall. You were about to yell at her when you felt something sharp press against your throat.

Mihirmah's eyes were full of fury. "You do not get to talk to me that way-!" "Is that an Omani khanjar?" You looked at her silver dagger.

Mihirmah's rage was replaced by surprise. "You... you know about it?"

You scoffed, insulted. "I'd be a fool not to notice it."

She titled her head at you, an amusing glint in her eyes.

"Oh my- you even have the pugio! How did you get it?" You were in complete awe at Mihirmah's large collection of daggers and swords.

Mihirmah beamed. "My brother got it for me on his recent conquest. He got so much stuff in the war prize for dad, but they let me pick first. Mustafa had brought dad some antiques, gems, paintings-" your heart sank at her words.

So that painting... it was from the spoils of war?

The painting that you saw earlier when you were putting back the canvases- it was a portrait. Of you. The same portrait that Baldwin had commissioned for you. The painting that survived over 400 years, except for the lower part of your face that was smudged and faded.

Suleiman looked over your shoulder as you stared at the portrait. "Mustafa found this in a church during the war. The locals claimed that the portrait belonged to some king who lost the love of his life. Hm. Seems like he missed her too much." He explained, tracing his fingers over the smudged area of the painting, and you wondered what Baldwin had done to make the area so faded.

You were glad that you had drawn your chaddar over your head and kept your face down or else you're almost certain the sultan would've recognised the resemblance between you and the portrait. After you'd left him, you immediately decided to wear a niqaab and cover your face to prevent anyone from recognising you as the muse from the painting.

"Y/n." You were snapped out of your thoughts. Mihirmah raised a brow at you. "So... how do you know about the daggers? You dont look like... well, you know."

Should you even be surprised at how condescending she is? Mihirmah may be the sultan's only daughter, but you were also the only daughter AND the youngest child of your family.

You can be just as bitchy.

"What? Just because I'm not a princess, I cant know about daggers?" You scoffed, looking back at her collection on the table.

Mihirmah's lips quirked. "Well, how do you know then?"

My cousin took me to the forensic musuem at his medical college and I was so mesmerised by all the murder weapons there, including the daggers, that I spent an embarrassing amount of time researching about each type of blade which was interesting for me because I am a historian.

"My dad was a blacksmith." He was not. Your father was a pharmacist. "I used to watch him make different types of blades and swords. Travellers would often stop by and let him sharpen their blades, and thats how I know about different kinds of blades."

She nodded, satisfied with your explanation. "You know your blades... but do you know how to fight with them?"

"No, sultana. I am just a lowly peasant who does not have to face the troubles of warding off potential suitors and princes like you." Your voice dripped with sarcasm.

When she didnt reply, you looked up at her and saw the evil glint in her eyes.

"What?"

Her smile widened. "I have a proposal that would benefit the both of us."

You stared at her in confusion for a few moments before understanding what she meant.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No-"

You were flipped onto the carpeted ground with Mihirma pinning your arms with her knees, pressing the dagger against your neck.

"Anddddd you're dead." She smiled victoriously above you before getting off you and helping you up. You coughed to catch your breath and scowled at her. "I should tell the sultan about how you beat up your teacher."

Mihirmah chuckled. "I am not beating you up. I am teaching you how to fight, and dad would approve that I teach a young women how to defend herself." "But I dont want to learn how to fight." "And I dont want to learn Quran. But if I have to do that, then you can at least do this so that you know just how difficult it is for me to learn the verses."

You adjusted your veil and glared at her. "Cant you find someone else to be your sparring buddy?"

"No. I like you. You dont seem to be too afraid of me and you stand your ground." She admitted before looking at you fussing over your niqaab. "You know you can take that off around me? People dont burst into my room without knocking, so feel free to take that off."

You contemplate for a moment. It is a little hot in here, and you're sweating like a pig after that knock down.

You remove your veil, but keep the scarf over your head and take a seat. You felt her eyes on you, but you didnt look at her as you opened the Quran.

"What are you staring at?"

Mihirmah sat down beside you as you finally looked at the gleam in her eyes. "What?" You asked again.

"Nothing. I just thought you'd be... prettier."

You couldn't help the sound of disbelief that left from your lips.

This cun-

"Well, I'm so sorry sultana that you had to witness the ugliness of my face with your precious eyes that are only worthy of seeing pretty things. My sultana, just say the word and I'd sew pearls into my skin for your pleasure, or I could always just-" you pick up your veil to cover your face again, but Mihirmah's hand caught your wrist and she was giggling.

"You're easy to tick off." She chuckled. "I was only kidding. You look... alright."

You feigned a smile. "Well, how will I ever repay that priceless compliment?" You rolled your eyes as she laughed again.

"Now that we're done with your entertainment, lets start our lesson for today."

Its been a week since you arrived in Topkapi palace. You had been given a room in the harem with the concubines because- well they didnt have quarters for religion teachers, so here you were.

The room was small but adequate for you. Nothing fancy but you're grateful for that. Dont want these concubines seeing you as a threat or something.

You groaned as the servant kneaded your shoulders. You were currently getting a massage from a girl you had befriended. Your muscles were sore from the all the times Mihirmah had flipped you over or slammed you against the wall. You were sure you were gonna have numerous bruises by the time she memorised one surah.

Your deep tissue massage was interrupted by Baris Agha bursting through your door. He shot you a glare before pushing the girl away from you.

"If your majesty is done with her rub down, would you care to grace us with your mighty presence?" He mocked. You opened your eyes and sighed.

"Hello to you too, Baris Agha." You sat up. "What do you want?"

"The sultana has demanded your presence."

"I already gave the sultana her lesson today." You mumbled before going to lie back down but Baris Agha grabbed your shoulder painfully to haul you up.

"That was Mihirmah sultana. Your presence is required by her mother, Hurrem sultana!" He gritted out.

Hurrem sultana? "Why?" You asked, fixing your niqaab over your face.

"Why? Why? Who do you think you're to be asking questions? Make haste!" He yelled at you before pushing you out of the room.

You followed behind him as he told you how to courtesy in front of her and not to do this or that, but you were focused on why you'd been called by the sultana? And that too, at dinner time? Wouldnt she be busy with her family?

Finally, you reached her chambers. Baris Agha entered first and you followed closely behind him, falling into a deep courtesy right after him.

"My Sultana, this is Hatun (lady) Y/n, Mihirmah's sultana's teacher." Baris Agha introduced you.

"Rise." You heard her say and you dared to peek at her and your breath was caught.

If Mihirmah was the epitome of beauty, then Hurrem sultana was something entirely out of this world. Red hair that sat in a intricate bun atop with a crown, milky white skin that had no marks, and those radiant green eyes that shone just as bright as the iconic emerald ring on her finger.

If you didnt know the dates, you wouldnt have guessed her to be a day over 40. But she was well in her 50s, and Allah... were you envious of Turkish beauty.

Truly, this was not a place for an insecure person to be around. You probably did stick out like a sore thumb among the bewitching beauties.

Baris Agha elbowed you to make you avert your gaze, and thats when you spotted Mihirmah sitting beside her looking sheepish.

"So, you've been the one who Mihirmah has been spending so much time with?" She looked at you pointedly.

So much time?

You looked at Mihirmah who was avoiding your gaze. You looked back at the sultana. "Well? Tell me how much my daughter has learned?"

How much? She hasnt been able to memorise a single surah.

You cleared your throat and spoke carefully. "Sultana, its a gradual process-"

"Surely, she must've memorised something? After all, thats why she's been refusing to spend time embroidering or looking at her proposals."

"Mom-" Mihirmah tried but was silenced by a look from her mother.

Hurrem looked back at you. "So, Hatun Y/n, do you have something to say? Or has my daughter been lying to me about spending time with you?"

You looked at Mihirmah who was looking at you with pleading eyes and you connected the dots. Mihirmah has lied to her mother about spending her time with you, and now wants you to lie for her as well.

If you do, Mihirmah might be safe but you risk getting caught. If you dont lie, Mihirmah gets in trouble, but so will you. And not just at Mihirmah's hands, because she will hurt you for snitching, but you suspect that she will twist more lies and lead you into more trouble with both her mother and father.

What to do?

"Mihirmah sultana is... a good student. The best one I've had so far." Well, you werent lying. She was your first student so technically she had no competition. "Everyone has a different pace of learning, my sultana. But its not about how fast you learn, its how much you learn. I'd prefer to take years to learn the surahs over not understanding the meaning behind them, the lessons hidden in them."

Yes, this is a safe answer. "Mihirmah sultana has shown great interest in reading the Quran. She listens very attentively to the translations." After bribing her with duels.

"I have no doubt that she will one day be a good Quran student. As long as she never stops reading it, maintains her connection with the Holy Book and Allah. The process of learning never ends."

Hurrem's calculated eyes read you. She gave a single nod. "Very well, Hatun Y/n. If you say so." Ah finally. Disaster avoided, and now Mihirmah owes me for lying-

"Mihirmah, you will recite the surah Hatun Y/n taught you tomorrow at dinner. Your father and I will be very pleased with your progress." Hurrem stated, making both your and Mihirmah's eyes widen because her mother knows her daughter well. She knows Mihirmah is not prepared and challenged her like this so that she can get rid of you as well, allowing the queen to focus on finding a suitable proposal for her daughter.

"Mother-"

"Mihirmah, go and sleep now. I dont think you need to prepare anymore for tomorrow, as you have told me just how great of teacher Hatun Y/n is." Hurrem smiled cunningly. Of course, she'd lay traps for her own daughter if it meant she could prove a point.

You and Mihirmah left the sultana's chambers together before walking to the princess's chambers.

"Thank you, Y/n for saving me!" Mihirmah said as soon as you two entered her room. She turned around to look at you, only to find you out on her balcony.

"Y/n? What are you doing there?" She walked up behind you.

You looked over your shoulder. "Hm? Oh, I'm just thinking if I should jump to my death from here or ask Baris Agha to get me poison. What do you suggest?"

"Y/n!" She pulled you away from the balcony. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? Whats wrong with you?!" You yanked your arm out of her grip. "Why did you lie to Hurrem sultana that you've been spending day and night studying with me when you damn well know that you have the attention span of a fish?!"

Mihirmah pouted. "Well, I had to come up with an excuse as to why I didnt want to do needle work or look at suitors... how was I supposed to know she'd bring you in for questioning?"

Narrowing your eyes at her, you gritted out. "You should've just told her that you'd rather spend the time beating up servants and throwing knives at pillows for target practise!"

She crossed her arms and huffed. "What, are you mad at me?"

You chuckled humourlessly. "Oh no. No no- how dare I? Why would I be mad at you for being the reason your parents will send me to the gallows? Or would they rather chop off my head?"

She shook her head. "No, I wont.... I wont let them do that." Mihirmah sighed. "I'll tell them the truth tomorrow, come clean."

"Oh great. So then you'll be safe from trouble but I'll still be dead because I LIED to the sultana! Thanks a lot!" You exclaimed.

"Well, then what do you suggest we do?!" Mihirmah was getting short tempered now.

You dragged your hands over your cheeks before heaving a sigh. "The only thing we can do. Make you memorise a surah." You held up a hand before Mihirmah could speak. "I'm not kidding. And... I have a plan. Just... you'll need to stay awake the entire night."

"Mihirmah- Mihirmah, wake up." You nudge the sleeping princess, awake. Its been 7 hours into your all nighter and Mihirmah's been asleep for 2 of them. You heard her groan from her position, head resting on the table.

"Mihirmah!" You called her harshly, shaking her shoulder. She smacked your hand away and continued to rest.

Thats it, I'm going to yank your hair-

The door opened making you turn. A young man was standing there, his eyes landing on Mihirmah and then at you.

"Mihirmah?" He called her name gently, but the girl who you'd been expecting to be dead asleep suddenly jumped up at his voice.

"Mehmed?!" Her eyes sparkled before getting up and jumping into his arms, just as you turned your head away and picked up your veil to wear.

Sehzade (prince) Mehmed, second son of Sultan Suleiman, first son of Hurrem. The 24 year old prince hugged his sister and spun her around, the two siblings laughing. Though you already know of his fate- the prince will die young. He will not inherit the throne.

"When did you come back from Manisa?!" Mihirmah asked him.

He pecked her forehead. "Just now. I made my way straight here and I was expecting you to be asleep, but.... what exactly is it that you're doing?" Mehmed asked, and Mihirmah followed his gaze to you.

"Ah. This is Y/n, she's my Quran teacher. I have to memorise a surah and recite it at dinner." She explained.

He raised a brow. "Since when did you have such an interest? Let me guess- father?" She scrunched her nose and nodded. "Forget about that, tell me about your adventures! Come on-" You cleared your throat loudly, making both siblings look at you.

"What?" Mihirmah asked.

"Sultana, we still have to prepare for tonight." You said as gently as you could without popping a vessel in your head.

Mihirmah waved you off. "No need! I've already memorised the surah! I'm all prepared-"

"Sultana." You cut her off. "Memorising is one thing... reciting it properly is another. Your parents will be expecting perfection which-with all due respect, you are nowhere near it."

There was deafening silence in the room as you and Mihirmah stared each other down, neither woman backing away.

"Y/n, I said I'm done for tonight. That means, I. Am. Done." Mihirmah emphasised.

"I'm the teacher and I took responsibility over this matter in front of the Sultan and Sultana. I decide when you. Are. Done." You replied back in the same tone, hands folded in front of you.

I am not letting a spoiled brat ruin my life.

Mehmed looked at the two of you, confusion clouding his mind. Mihirmah doesnt let anyone talk to her this way and get away with it. Usually by now, you wouldve been thrown into the dungeons for torture. He knows his sister and her crazy tendencies, so he doesnt understand why she's putting up with this.

There is something deeper going on here.

"Both of you, stand down." You both broke off the intense stare off and looked at Mehmed. Clasping Mihirmah's hand, he pulled her to the ottomans and sat down beside her, gesturing you to sit down on the floor pillow.

"Now, tell me what is going on?"

After explaining the mess Mihirmah had dragged you two in, Mehmed hummed.

"Mihirmah." He looked at his sister. "It doesnt matter if Y/n told the truth or the lie to mom, she'd be in trouble either way. But there is only one way you wont be in trouble, and that is to pass this test. Prove mom wrong. You can do it- hey, look at me." He cupped Mihirmah's cheeks. "I know you can do it. And to show you my support, I will stay by your side the entire time. Now, lets practice, hm?"

You and Mehmed left Mihirmah's room at 8 in the morning, letting her to catch some shut eye.

You mutely yawned under your niqaab, though your back wasnt as silent when you cracked it. You heard Mehmed chuckle behind you, and you quickly composed yourself.

"My sister wore you out, huh?" He had a tired smile on his lips, eyes drooping but still a glint of amusement.

"Of course not, sehzade." You noticed the small cut on the outer end of his left brow. He had ash brown hair, similar to Mihirmah's. If you didnt know better, you'd think the two were twins with how much they resembled. Thick lips, strong nose, high cheek bones.

"You shouldn't lie to a prince, you know?" He rubbed his eyes. "Mihirmah... she is a little-" Annoying? Bitchy? Selfish? "-headstrong, but she's always been this way. Dont take it to heart. She is a good person, you just need to be patient with her."

You stayed quiet as he spoke. What could you really say? Ah no, your sister is actually just a spoiled brat and needs a kicking down?

"Mihirmah likes you, Y/n. It is a lot to ask but... I would appreciate it if you would continue to have her back."

"As you wish, sehzade."

Mehmet gave you one last smile before leaving. "Get some sleep, Y/n."

You turned around and started making your way back towards the harem to your chambers, your mind occupied by the thoughts of the painting Baldwin had made.

I need to destroy it. You decided. If it has survived 400 years, it might survive another 400, and I dont want to take the risk of it appearing in a museum one day.

You're walking down the hall, trying to remember which room it was you had found the paintings in when suddenly you're yanked to a corner.

"hey-!"You're silenced by a hand covering your mouth. A woman was holding you.

"Shh. Its fine. I just want to talk." She pulled her hand away, making you take a huge gulp of air. "What? You cant say hello like a normal person?" You spat at her. She narrowed her eyes at you. "Watch your tone. I'm Gul, the sultana's lady-in-waiting." Or just personal servant. You thought. Wait, sultana?

"Hurrem sultana-" "No, Mahidevran sultana, the first wife of Sultan Suleiman and the one you should always obey and respect. Now come along, she wishes to talk to you." She began pulling you down the corridor.

"Talk to me about what?" She didnt answer you.

Mahidevran sultana, the first wife of the sultan who eventually fells out of his favour when Hurrem arrives. She was able to give birth to one son- sehzade Mustafa, the eldest heir of the sultan, who will also not inherit the throne and will be executed on the orders of his father.

You can only guess how protective Mahidevran would be of both her son and the throne, seeing as she only has one child compared to Hurrem sultana's five, four of which are male heirs. And she has every reason to be threatened too because Hurrem has done what has never been done before.

Hurrem sultana was a non muslim woman captured from Crimea, sold as a slave in Constantinople, became a concubine in the harem and slowly rose to the ranks to be Suleiman's favourite, and later, become his legal wife. She bore majority of his sons, and broke the traditional rule of. "one imperial concubine - one son", was beaten up by Mahidevran which angered Suleiman, earned the title of Haseki Sultana (which means "favourite") and it shocked everyone because never before was a slave elevated to the level of becoming the legal wife of the sultan.

Hurrem sultana was force to be reckoned with. And as history shows, Hurrem would be the victorious one.

Finally reaching the sultana's chambers, you were pushed in by Gul. You immeadiately fell into a courtesy, not wanting to anger the sultana.

"So... who exactly are you?" You looked up, brows knitting in confusion at her question. Mahidevran was sitting on her ottoman, her face expressionless as she stared you down. She was beautiful, her features sharp and slim, collar bones prominent along with her long neck, she looked like a supermodel. But... Hurrem was prettier.

"I- I'm Y/n." You answered her, but she didnt look satisfied. "What is your relation with Hurrem? Are you sleeping with her son, Mehmed?"

"I- I beg your pardon?" You stammered. She stood up and strode to you, making you back up.

"Do not lie to me, girl. My servants saw you entering Hurrem's chambers yesterday, and leaving with Mehmed today."

"Its not what it looks like, sultana." You shook your head. "I am not a concubine and I am not sleeping with anyone! Sultan Suleiman hired me to teach Mihirmah sultana Quran."

"That doesnt explain why you were with Hurrem or Mehmed."

"Hurrem sultana wanted to know how far her daughter has progressed in her lessons and asked Mihirmah to recite a surah at dinner to prove that she's been studying. Sehzade Mehmed and I were with Mihirmah sultana all night helping her prepare for tonight." You explained the situation and Mahidevran stared at you with no expression. For a moment, you thought she didnt believe you but then her lips quirked up.

"Dinner, you say?" You gave a hesitant nod. "Very well, off you go."

As soon as you were out of the room, you leaned against the wall and placed a hand over your chest, feeling your rapidly beating heart. Mahidevran may not be as pretty as Hurrem, but she was definitely scarier. You really did think she was going to torture you.

Weakly, you began walking again. You want to go back to your room and sleep off the headache that was forming, but you still have the stupid portrait to destroy.

Where the hell was that stupid room?

After an hour or so of roaming around and avoiding Baris Agha because you dont have it in you to put up with insults, you finally found the room. You softly knocked on the door first, checking if the sultan or someone else was in the room. When no one answered, you slowly opened the door and looked around. No one was there.

You walked inside and spotted the pile still there, and when you removed the silk off it, everything was still there- untouched, including your portrait.

"What are you doing?"

Second time. You've been caught in here for the second time.

Baldwin has to have cast a curse on you. There is no other explanation for such badluck.

You turned around, praying it was Baris Agha or anyone else, just not the sultan.

As soon as you spotted the royal turban, you could hear Baldwin laughing in the back of your head.

You bowed. "Sehazade- I-"

He looked older than Mehmed, so your best guess was that this was Mustafa.

"I asked, what you were doing with my war loot?" So, it is Mustafa. Mihirmah did say he went on a conquest recently.

"I was-" you cleared your throat. "I was merely admiring the calligraphy."

He tilted his head to look behind you. "There's no calligraphy on the portrait."

"I was admiring... the portrait."

"Were you planning on stealing it?"

"What? No." You peered at him through your niqaab. "It would not be the brightest idea to steal a large canvas and walk through the palace that is littered with guards."

He hummed. "You could go out the window."

"And ruin the painting or risk breaking my legs?"

"Huh. So what do you think would be the best way to steal this painting?" What kind of trick question is this?

"Not that I am stealing it, but if I were to- I'd most likely remove it from the canvas and roll it up, tuck it under my dress or hide it somewhere else and then leave with it. Or maybe pass it to another person, to make myself less suspicious."

"For someone who claims they're not stealing it, that does sound like you put a lot of thought in it." Mustafa admitted.

You frowned. "I was just pointing out the obvious. As I said, I am not a thief!"

"Then who are you?"

"I'm Y/n, Mihirmah sultana's Quran teacher-" He chuckled. "Sure, that's believable."

"Its true."

"You expect me to believe Mihirmah, my little sister who would much rather spend her days skinning someone, is learning Quran?" He smiled, making dimples appear on his cheeks.

"Its not by choice. Sultan Suleiman hired me." He stopped smiling.

"The Sultan... hired you?" Mustafa asked. What- why would his father hire you? You're just a young girl, almost the same age as Mihirmah.

"You can ask him if you dont believe me." You were tired of being insulted. What, does he think you're not smart enough to teach someone? Or just plain ole ugly?

"I-"

"Y/n! Ugh! There you are!" Baris Agha voice cut through, and as soon as he spotted Mustafa, he bowed, but you saw the momentary glance of confusion of why you were with him.

"Sehzade." Baris greeted him. Mustafa acknowledged him with a single nod. "Please excuse me, but I must take Hatun Y/n. Mihirmah sultana has demanded her presence."

Mustafa nodded again, letting Baris Agha drag you out by the arm. He looked at you trying to free your arm from his painful grip while Baris chewed your ear out. Mustafa shook his head before turning around to look at the portrait you were "admiring".

It is... something.

By dinner time, your head was pounding to the point you thought someone was hammering a nail in your head. Instead of spending the rest of the day catching some sleep, Mihirmah had demanded you help her dress "modestly" for her Quran recitation tonight. She wanted a look that really captured her "angelic and spirutal" personality.

You were sure your eyes were blood shot, from the lack of sleep. You didnt eat anything since yesterday, because you were almost constantly with royalty and God forbid you ate with them. No, they're "superior" and you dont deserve to eat or take care of yourself unless they allow you to.

"How do I look?" Mihirmah asked you. You were standing outside the royal dining room, where she would first go and have dinner with her family before showing what she's learnt so far.

"Like you just returned from Hajj pilgrimage." You rolled your eyes. She shot you a glare. "You look fine, Mihirmah. Just... stay calm and remember what I've taught you. You got this." She nodded before entering the room where her family awaited her.

You leaned against the wall and sighed, about to close your eyes to take a power nap when Baris Agha nudged you.

"Wake up! Sultana and sehzade are here." He whispered harshly, just as you spotted Mahidevran and Mustafa walking down the hall. You and Baris bowed with the guards.

"Sultana. Sehzade." Baris greeted them sweetly. "The dining hall is currently occupied. Sultan Suleiman is having dinner with his family."

"And what are we, Baris?" Mahidevran snapped, making Baris's courteous smile falter. "I am his first wife, Mustafa- his first son. We have more right to be here than Hurrem and her kids."

"Sultana-" Baris tried to persuade her but she beat him to it by walking past and knocking on the door.

"Enter!" Suleiman called from inside. The servants opened the door, allowing Mahidevran and Mustafa inside.

They bowed to Suleiman. "I hope we're not interrupting, sultan. We just heard that our dear Mihirmah would be reading Quran today and I just couldnt stop myself from coming. I just want to witness our little Mihirmah becoming so connected with her religion, perhaps even inspire me." She smiled widely, placing a hand on Mustafa's back. "I brought her elder brother to show our support. May we join you, sultan?"

Suleiman stared at them before nodding. "Of course, Mahidevran. We're all family here."

Mahidevran couldnt help the smirk that formed on her lips as she saw the pissed off look on Hurrem's face and the alarmed one Mihirmah's. While Hurrem did hope to teach a lesson to her daughter to not lie to her, she wouldnt want to do it by embarrassing her in front of Mahidevran.

The doors closed and their dinner began. You leaned against the wall again to rest your eyes but of course, Baris Agha had to mutter incoherently about the whole situation.

"Allah! Allah! What are we going to do? This might as well be the start of another war inside! Hurrem sultana and Mahidevran sultana head-to-head again-" He elbowed you hard, making you yelp. "Did you tell Mahidevran to come here?! I swear, I will yank your tongue out and strangle you with it."

"Baris Agha, at this rate, I'll be the one to strangle you if you touch me one more time." You threatened, shoving him away roughly.

"You little-" The doors opened again, a servant walked out.

"Hatun Y/n. Sultan has summoned you."

You walked inside, courtesying to the royal family.

Suleiman had this gentle look in his eyes. "Ah. This is Y/n, the teacher I hired for Mihirmah." He introduced you to his family, unbeknownst to him they'd already met you. He looked at you. "I wanted you to be here as Mihirmah recited for us."

"I'm honoured, sultan." You said softly, eyes to the ground as Mihirmah stood up and walked to the center of the room.

Suleiman gave her a nod to start.

Mihirmah took a deep breath in, closed her eyes and started reciting.

إِنَّآ أَعْطَيْنَـٰكَ ٱلْكَوْثَرَ "

فَصَلِّ لِرَبِّكَ وَٱنْحَرْ

"إِنَّ شَانِئَكَ هُوَ ٱلْأَبْتَرُ

15 seconds. Thats all it took for Mihirmah to recite the shortest surah in the Quran, with almost perfect qirat. The surah that usually took 10 minutes for children to learn, took Mihirmah all night to memorise with near-perfect pronunciation. Sure, this was not what anyone was expecting, especially not Hurrem when she challenged you and Mihirmah, but the deal was to recite a surah from Quran, by memory. It just so happened to be the shortest one, the easiest one. You won fair and square.

"MashAllah, Mihirmah. That was beautiful. I am so proud of you." Suleiman beamed, his eyes shining with pride. Mihirmah grinned, running to kiss her father's cheeks.

"Yes, Mihirmah. That was... nice." Hurrem feigned a smile, just happy that she wasnt embarrassed in front of Mahidevran.

"Thank you, mom. I guess I just had a really good teacher." Mihirmah shot you a grateful look, making everyone in the room look at you. Your face flushed, and you were grateful for the niqaab to hide your face.

"Oh- um, you're just a keen learner, sultana." You said softly.

Mahidevran lips quirked up, and Hurrem saw the evil glint in her eyes. "Oh Mihirmah, you read so wonderfully. Your voice- ah! It just moved me. Please, Mihirmah- would you be kind enough to recite for me again? I'm sure your father would love to hear you as well."

Mihirmah's brows furrowed slightly. "I- of course, sultana." She closed her eyes and was about to recite the same surah again when Mahidevran's voice stopped her.

"Oh no, Mihirmah. I was hoping to hear something else."

Mihirmah's face fell. "But this is what I've memorised-"

"That's quiet alright, sweetie. You can always read it from the Quran. This isnt a test!" She chuckled. "I'm sure your teacher has taught you the basics! Here, I even brought the Quran with me." She handed Mihirmah the Holy book.

So this is how she planned to embarrass Mihirmah. She knew the young girl was neither interested nor good at learning Quran, so now when Mihirmah would stammer upon her words, then Suleiman and Hurrem will be ashamed that their Muslim daughter, at the age of 19, cannot even recite properly. Hopefully, this might even cause the couple to fight and Mihirmah to fall from the graces of her father's eyes.

Nervously, Mihirmah slowly opened the book, turning to the first page. She cleared her throat, as it'd help.

It didnt.

Mihirmah stammered and stumbled over her words many times, to the point that the first surah that should've taken less than a minute to recite, ended up taking way longer than anyone would like to admit.

As Mihirmah finished reading, you could see the tears welling up in her eyes and redness in her cheeks. She was utterly embarrassed, she felt she had let her parents down.

"Oh Mihirmah~" Mahidevran cooed. "That was.... not good at all, darling."

"I-" Mihirmah tried to muster up an excuse but the sultana did not care.

"I mean- you were just a disaster! Stuttering and making so many mistakes, and that too with the book open!"

"Mahidevran, enough." Hurrem warned.

Mahidevran narrowed her eyes at her. "What? Oh Hurrem, I am not trying to embarrass Mihirmah! In fact, I think she's not at fault. Well, not completely. I suppose she just doesnt have a good teacher."

Everyone was now looking at you.

Is this how everything ends up becoming your fault and you're the one who gets punished?

Fuck. This.

"Excuse me?" You couldnt help the irritation seep in your voice.

Mahidevran raised a brow at you. "Am I wrong? You were supposed to be the one responsible for teaching our princess Quran. And yet, she just made a fool out of herself. You tried to fool us by making Mihirmah learn the shortest surah, but look at her now- barely able to read from the book!"

Your eyes widened. Is she for real?

"I think you're wrong, sultana." Everyone looked at you as you stated boldly. "Yes, Mihirmah sultana did stammer and made mistakes as she read but I think thats much more valuable." You sighed. "Mihirmah sultana had to make twice the effort to read the Quran than one usually would, but she will also get twice the reward from Allah for her efforts. She knew she wont read well, she knows she's just a beginner at this stage, but she didnt let it stop her. And Allah will reward her for that, He knows what was in her heart, her intentions, despite what anyone has to say about her skills."

"And as for "trying to fool" anyone here- "You looked her dead in the eye. "I find that accusation insulting to the very core. You say that I made Mihirmah sultana memorise the shortest surah in the Quran. I did. Surah Kawthar is indeed the shortest surah, but does that mean it is less important? Not worthy to be read, or be in the Holy Book altogether?"

Mahidevran was frowning as you looked at her. "Do you claim to know better than Allah as to what should or shouldn't be in His divine book? Surah Kawthar may be the shortest surah in the Quran but it is one that I find deep comfort in. As the surah translates-

Indeed, We have granted you ˹O Prophet˺ abundant goodness.

So pray and sacrifice to your Lord ˹alone˺

Only the one who hates you is truly cut off ˹from any goodness˺.

And what does this tell us? The background of these verses is that when our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) lost his son, his enemies, the non believers would make fun of him that "Islam will end now because Muhammad had no male heir to continue to grow the religion, to spread the word of Allah." But Allah wouldn't abandon his beloved prophet, even when he was depressed.

This Surah was sent down when the nonbelievers of Makkah taunted the Holy Prophet (PBUH) because he had lost all his male issues, and called him 'abtar' or insulted him for some other reason. The present Surah gives an answer to the taunts of the nonbelievers, and maintains that there is no justification for calling the Holy Prophet (PBUH) an 'abtar' only because he had no male child alive, not only because his lineal offspring will remain till the Day of Judgment, though from his daughters, but he was destined to be the spiritual father of a multitude of sons in all ages to the end of time, sons who were to be far more faithful, obedient and loving than the sons of any father, and they will outnumber the followers of all the Prophets that came before him. The Surah has also highlights the great honor and respect given to him by Allah.

I also like to think that the reason why this Surah was included in the Quran was so that Muslims in general would also be comforted by the word of Allah. That all the Muslims, even if they were not from Prophet Muhammad's direct lineage, we are his ummah and so we will also enjoy the river Kawthar.

Kawthar refers to a river in paradise, which translates "a river that contains abundant goodness" and we will enjoy the greatest honour and respect, as our Prophet Muhammad's ummah."

You took a deep breath. "So, Mahidevran sultana... do you still accuse me of fooling anyone?"

The room was dead silent. You may have indirectly insulted Mahidevran and broken so many rules, but everything you said was true. It was clear. You were smart and educated, Suleiman had no doubt about it when he first met you. And now, he was only more reassured of his decision to make you Mihirmah's teacher.

"Very well said, Y/n." Suleiman broke the silence. Standing up, he walked over to Mihirmah, holding her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her forehead, comforting his daughter.

"I am very proud of you, Mihirmah. I can see the hardwork you did." He hugged her again, pressing another kiss to her forehead as she sniffled softly. "I knew you'd do well, so I brought a gift for you."

Mihirmah watched as a servant brought a wooden box lined with velvet and gems. Opening it, she gasped softly.

It was a gold bracelet with rubies and emeralds, lined in an intricate pattern.

Hurrem smiled as Suleiman put the bracelet around his daughter's wrist, before bringing her hand to his lips and pecking it.

He was a proud father.

"And Y/n-" You stiffened. Suleiman turned towards you, his body towering over you. "You did a fine job at not only teaching Mihirmah, but also helping us understand the significance of Surah Kawther."

A servant brought box, similar to Mihirmah's. Opening it, you saw a bracelet, identical to Mihirmah's.

"This is for you." Suleiman smiled as he placed the bracelet around your trembling hand.

"I- sultan-" you tried to return it but Suleiman silenced you.

"I crafted this with my own hands. It'll be rude of you to refuse." Your eyes widened at his serious tone and you immediately bowed your head.

"T-thank you, sultan." He hummed, returning to his seat while Mihirmah hugged you, giggling.

Dinner continued on as Mihirmah and her siblings began chattering once you left, but something had disturbed both Hurrem and Mahidevran.

"What happened inside? Catfight?" Baris Agha, the gossiper asked as you stumbled out of the room. His eyes fell on the bracelet and he snatched your hand. "Allah! Allah! Did you steal this?! I will have you-"

"Sultan Suleiman gifted it to me." Baris dropped your hand.

"S-sultan? Sultan's gift?" He whispered to himself in disbelief, but you were already walking away. You were tired, your headache had now turned into a migraine and your energy levels had dropped. All you wanted was to curl up in bed and at this point, you dont care if you wake up or not.

But sleep is for the fortunate ones. For you, Baris Agha was written.

"Y/n! You- stop! Listen!" He ran up behind you, pulling your shoulder to make you stop. "You- Sultan Suleiman gifted you the bracelet?! Do you know what this means?"

You heaved a sigh, your vision getting blurry. "Baris, just- just shut up. I need to... sleep." You turned around and started walking, not realising just how blurry your vision was, or how you were leaning against the wall for support.

All you saw was blurry figure standing in front of you, before you lost your footing. The figure caught you, and you heard Baris yell your name before losing consciousness.

Hurrem was in Suleiman's chambers. She was going to spend the night here, it seemed. Suleiman had summoned her himself tonight.

Suleiman walked inside, and when he spotted his wife, he smiled. Hurrem returned the smile, walking upto him and kissing him.

"Suleiman..." She whispered against his lips. "You summoned me?"

"I did." He lead her to the bed, sitting down. "What do you think of Y/n?"

She tilted her head. Y/n? "I suppose she is a good teacher. Smart. Well educated, at least religion wise."

He let out a hum. "What else?"

"What else, Suleiman? I dont know her." Suleiman chuckled, making her even more confused. Why are you being brought up right now?

"Well, try getting to know her better." "Why?"

Suleiman shrugged. "You'll know in due time."

Hurrem couldnt put her mind at peace the rest of the night. Why was Suleiman curious about you? He couldnt possibly want you- no. No. She saw him with you. He practically looked at you the same way he looked at Mihirmah. Thats why he gave you both the same bracelets-

Oh no.

You woke up when you felt something cool on your forehead. Opening your eyes, a wet rag blocked your vision. You pushed the rag away, accidentally touching the hand that was holding the rag there.

A man was sitting on your bedside. He had honey-coloured eyes, short, well kept dark brown hair and tanned skin.

"You can let go of my hand, Hatun Y/n." He grinned.

Your face turned red as you dropped his hand. "I- sorry."

"No worries. You're just disoriented from earlier. Exhaustion, the physicians say." He chuckled, standing up and you noticed Baris standing in the corner now. "You will need to get used to working long hours, especially now." Baris raised his brows at you as he said that, making the man laugh again.

"I will take my leave now. Take care, Hatun Y/n. And let me know if she needs anything, Baris."

"Of course, Ibrahim pasha." He bid farewell to the vizir.

The man said before leaving. Baris immediately rushed to you, grinning from ear to ear.

"What?"

"Who would've guessed- the preacher to be the tempteress?"

"Excuse me?" You glared at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Baris waved you off. "Well, be flattered! I mean- you're going to be married to a sehzade soon-"

"Woah woah! What are you talking about?"

Baris stared at you. "Oh, you really dont know, do you?" You looked even more puzzled. Baris grabbed your wrist, showing you the bracelet. "This is made by sultan Suleiman. The sultan only gives handmade gifts to family and close relatives. And since I've been here since the sultan married the first sultana, I know you're not his secret love child, which means..." he waited for you to catch on, but giving up when you took too long.

"Y/n, if you're not related to him blood, then you will become related to him by becoming a part of his family. Which will be by you becoming his daughter-in-law!" He exclaimed.

Your face paled. No, no!

"Close your mouth, you'll catch flies, darling." Baris tapped your chin. "And I suggest you hide your bracelet for a while. Dont want the concubines to get jealous, hm?"

So?? Thoughts??? Who do you think will be the yanderes? What do you think will happen next???

PART 9 is here!

#yandere x darling #time traveller au #king baldwin x reader #yandere male #yandere harem #yandere x reader

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sturn-saturn · 2 months ago

Text

hey baby girl

pairing: fem!pregnant!reader x husband!chris

warnings: just cutesy stuff <3

a/n: i thought of doing this while watching shameless 😁

week 20: "hey, baby girl!" chris says as he holds up a camcorder. "so today, mama and i went to the baby doctor and we found out you're a girl!" your husband turns the camera to you and your hand is placed on your baby bump rubbing it up and down while the other is holding up your ultrasound pictures.

"we're so excited to meet you baby girl!" you smile kissing the camera goodbye.

week 21: "hey, baby girl!" you say holding the camera. chris is upstairs in your shared bedroom still sleeping. "as you can see, mama just woke up, i'm very tired but dad i have some errands to run so we can prepare for you to join us in 19 weeks. so the plan for today is to visit your grandparents, dads parents, then we're going out to target to look at some onesies for you and little socks to keep your tiny toes warm, after is the grocery store. i'll be sure to get some yummy stuff so i can keep you and i fed! alright baby girl, catch you later!" you say kissing the camera once again.

week 22: you and chris were on the couch watching coraline since it was your favorite comfort movie.

"hey baby girl!" chris says holding the camera up to face you both has his other hand is rubbing your belly gently.

"so right now dad and i are watching my favorite comfort movie because i wasn't feeling well today."

"her tummy was cramping but don't worry, it wasn't your fault. you're our baby girl, you could do no wrong." your husband says with a big grin.

"i'm hoping when you're older you enjoy this movie as much as i do. your dad and i actually watched this on our 5th date i believe." you smile.

"alright sweetheart, mamas gotta get her rest, see you tomorrow!" your husband says kissing the camera.

week 23: "hey baby girl! alright so we are in the car right now and todays plan is going to the doctor to make sure you're healthy and see how much you've grown. after that we need to find a bassinet for you to get a good nights sleep!" chris smiles at how cute he finds you.

"there are so any people who can't wait to meet you sweetheart. 4 grandparents, a bunch of aunts and uncles, our friends too!" he adds.

"you're so loved already, honey. okay we're here! time to go!" you kiss the camera.

week 24: "hey baby girl so today, uncle nick and uncle matt dropped by and got you some presents. they got you the cutest onesies, some baby bottles, and toys! we know you wont be able to play with toys until you grow a bit and get used to the new world but you are going to love them! also dad has something to say." you hand the camera to chris and get up to get a snack.

you over hear your husband talking to the camera and your eyes soften looking over at him.

"mama and i are gonna do everything we can to protect you. we will support you in anything you want to do. the only things we want from you is to be a good person and spread love. also you have to play lacrosse or hockey like me and your uncles did!" he laughs.

"chris what if she doesn't wanna play either of those?" you ask.

"well what every she decides to play she's gonna be amazing. she's half of you anyway. bye darling!" he yells kissing the camera.

week 25: "hey baby girl! we're currently at grandma and grandpas house for a little cook out with the family." you say showing everyone around.

"are you guys making a little vlog for the baby?" jimmy asks.

"we are!"

"mind if i say a few words?"

"not at all!" you hand the camera to jimmy and you use this time to rest your arms a bit.

"alright sweetheart. as you know, i'm your grandfather, your dads dad. i just wanted to let you know that i can't wait to meet you. you're my first grandkid! as much as i love my boys, i've always wanted a girl in the family and you're finally making that dream happen. i will definitely be taking you on fishing trips so get ready!"

jimmy hands you the camera with a big smile on his face. "you're gonna be a great mother, honey."

tears start to well in your eyes from the love you've received from your husbands family throughout the years. you thank jimmy and you kiss the camera goodbye.

week 40: "hey baby girl!" chris whispers. "today is a big day. mama felt some extra kicks last night and it turns out you're coming today! she's currently resting right now so she can use all her energy and strength to bring you here. keep this between us, but your moms a superhero." he smiles.

"chris?" you mumble. "come here."

chris comes over with the camcorder in his hand with a look of concern on his face. "what's up mama?"

you reach your hand for the camera and he hands it to you.

"hey sweet girl. i'm sure dads told you we're at the hospital right now waiting for you to come. it's currently 10pm and we're all super tired but this is all worth it if it means we get to finally meet you." you smile lazily.

4 hours later...

the doctors all finally left the room. they said that was the easiest delivery they've had to work through. chris is currently standing with your baby girl in his arms facing the window to see the city lights.

"hey clara." chris whispers rocking his daughter back and forth gently. "mamas resting again. the doctors told her she did a great job! i told you your mom was a superhero. in just 3 days you'll get to come home with us. how exciting is that!? grandma and grandpa are coming tomorrow to see you as well as your uncles. i love you baby girl. goodnight." chris kisses his daughters head before setting her back in her bassinet.

he relishes in the feeling of being a new dad before he drifts off into a good nights sleep.

taglist:

@sturniolos4life16 @hoeforchrizz @luckyscharms @emely9274 @chrispotatos @weirdratperson @simpson12 @ilovemenwithlonghairr @angeldvstee @pussypie456 @valentinasturniolo @chrissturnioloenthusiastforlife @cravingchrissturniolo @wonnieeluvvr @flouvela

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angelicsoka · 8 months ago

Note

❛ he so likes her! ❜ wiru quinn and jack noticing luke is crushing

PROM NIGHT, l. hughes

part two <3

word count | 832 words

pairings | luke hughes x best friend!reader, platonic!jack & quinn hughes x reader

summary | luke’s brothers notice his crush on his best friend

prompt | ❛ he so likes her! ❜

warnings | not proofread. no use of “y/n”. mutual pining. reader and luke are oblivious. lowercase intended. this is a work of fiction, i am by no means saying this is how they act in real life.

a/n | i’ve been trying to write but i have very little motivation, but here's this! might make a part two if the people want it :)

being in love with your best friend was horrible. knowing he didn’t feel the same was down right torturous. at least, you assumed he didn’t feel the same.

luke hughes had been your best friend since sixth grade, when one of his buddies cruelly pushed into a locker as you had walked past. luke, angered by his friend’s actions, proceeded to shove him into a locker before going to check on you. the rest was history.

you were the golden retriever to his black cat, the sun to his moon, his ride or die. you two had been through thick and thin together, somehow managing to stay friends when no one else thought you would.

unbeknownst to you both, jack and quinn had a bet going on how long it would take for one of you to admit your feelings for the other. a bet that had been placed after your senior prom, a night you could never forget.

it was chilly as you sat outside the gymnasium, no longer caring about dirtying up your dress, the night already ruined. you had found your date with his lips locked with another girl, but that wasn’t what hurt the most: it was seeing your best friend slow dancing with girl; a girl that wasn’t you.

you wiped at the angry and jealous tears as they streamed down your rosy cheeks, angry at yourself for being jealous, angry at yourself for falling for the one boy you could never have.

“hey, there you are! we’ve been look– are you okay?” luke poked his head out the door, concern growing when he noticed the tears that stained your rosy cheeks. you were quick to wipe the remaining tears as luke walked out, letting the door shut behind him. he joined you on the curb as you tried to get rid of the evidence that you had been crying, but it was too late.

“i’m fine, lu. go back in there, have a good time. i’m gonna head home, i’m not feeling the greatest.” you felt guilty about lying to your best friend, not only about not feeling well, but about your feelings.

“you are a terrible liar, you know that?” you couldn’t even look him in the eyes. “fine, don’t tell me, but at least let me drive you home.” you attempted to argue, but luke was stubborn. you both were.

“i don’t want you to miss out on the fun.” you said as luke guided you to his car.

“eh, i wont be missing any fun when the life of the party is in my passenger seat.” luke attempted to entice a smile out of you but it just sent a pang to your heart. “plus, i’d rather hang out with you.” he shrugged.

“what about your date?”

“oh, she snuck off to make out with ex.” you shot him a look of pity, luke shrugging it off as he backed out. “i knew she was using me to make him jealous, but honestly i don't care.” you knew though that luke was hurt by it, at least more than he was letting on. the rest of the ride was silent, your eyes trained out the window until luke drove right past your house.

“luke, you just passed my house.” you looked to your best friend, eyebrows furrowed.

“i know. i figured we could watch a movie.” you internally groaned. he was not helping you get over this crush, that was for sure. still, you went along, following him into the house when you arrived.

it was late, his parents still out wherever they had gone, and quinn and jack were somewhere around the house. you accepted the sweats and shirt luke offered you, going to change out of your dress. when you entered the living room, luke had already picked out your favorite movie and was microwaving popcorn. you sat on the couch, cuddling into a blanket he had laid out.

luke joined you moments later, handing you the bowl of popcorn and taking a seat next to you. he started the movie, but you couldn’t focus, not with him as close as he was to you.

soon, the tiredness began to take over, your eyes drooping. it wasn’t long before luke heard soft snores coming from you, your head resting on his shoulder. it brought a smile to his face as he too began to fall asleep. that was how quinn and jack found the both of you; luke’s head rested against yours which was on his shoulder. quinn placed a blanket over you both, before taking a picture of you, a smile on both your faces.

“he so likes her.” jack snickered, quinn nodding along.

“i bet you fifty bucks he tells her first.” quinn whispered as he sent the picture to his parents who were rooting for you two to get together.

“make it a hundred but it’ll be her.” they shook on it before you leaving you to rest.

#angelicsoka #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #nhl imagine #luke hughes x reader #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #luke hughes x best friend!reader #hughes brothers x reader

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stars4gojo · 1 year ago

Text

Used to it

Dad!Gojo x Fem!reader // young Megumi and Tsumiki // 947 words

Leaving home comes easy for Gojo except now he has three reasons to come back

More of my work 🤍

When you and Gojo first took tsumiki and Megumi in your house, many people told you how difficult raising two children was going to be. You remember Gojo dismissing them with the wave of his hand, even when your own mother freaked out at the thought of you two adopting children without getting married (she seemed to ignore the fact that you two were only 17) Gojo reassured her, saying how it couldn’t be so difficult and since he’s the strongest he would have no problems at all.

However, being the strongest doesn’t seem to matter at all in this house. Gojo, without question, was at the bottom of the food chain and the two children were alarmingly at the top of the household.

Your mothers fears were only confirmed when Megumi refused to eat any vegetables for the first six months of his stay and had thrown them directly at Gojo’s face MULTIPLE times so he just had to get used it, turning on his limitless everytime Megumi reached for the greens that were taunting him on his plate. Or that one time Tsumiki got stage fright during her ballet rehearsals so Gojo, a grown 190 cm tall man, wore a tutu, definitely too small on him and performed next to the little 9 year old girl, who would then take first place at the rehearsal only at the cost of getting dirty looks and hushed whispers from other parents. He had then begged you to take Tsumiki to her classes which you obviously refused as everytime Gojo would take her to her classes she had the expression of a 9 year old who just took over the whole world so he just got used to it.

But one thing, even after 2 whole years, he could not get used to was leaving for longer business trips. When it was just the two of you, he would begrudgingly leave with a reassuring kiss to your forehead, letting you know that he would return.

The first time he left for his business trip he didn’t expect the children to even bat an eye, but soon the day came and when he went to say goodbye to Tsumiki and Megumi they didn’t seem to have a reaction, too invested in the cartoon they were watching on their iPads that Gojo got them despite your efforts to stop him talking about the bad effects of screen-time that he chose to ignore so they wouldn’t bother you two during your alone time.

“Hey cmon now, at-least look at me when I’m saying goodbye you won’t be seeing me for a while now” Gojo said with a little smile tugging on his lips.

The two children went wide eyed as they turned towards Gojo, the realisation was almost comical and you stifled back a laugh. However, the laughter soon became shock as they both immediately became teary eyed and rushed to get off the couch and run towards Gojo.

Gojo was more taken aback at the sudden outburst of emotions from his normally moody children.

Gojo bent down to their eye level as they rushed to give him a hug.

“What’s wrong???” Gojo asked in slight surprise.

“Please don’t go” A muffled voice voice was heard that belonged to Tsumiki as her arms became tighter around his neck.

“We’ll be very nice please? Megumi will eat all his vegetables! Wont you Megumi?!” Tsumiki spoke fast as she nudged Megumi who was standing behind Tsumiki, observing the situation with tears forming.

Megumi nodded in response and Gojo only smiled in response.

“You guys..” he started off with a chuckle and you slightly hit him on his back so he could take them more seriously.

“You guys do know that I’ll be back in 2 days right? It’s just a short trip I need to make for work?” He spoke softly as Tsumiki let go of him.

Now you went to Megumi who was still at the verge of tears and picked him up so he could rest on your hip. You wiped his tears as he cuddled into your neck obviously embarrassed of his little outburst of emotions.

“Satoru is going on a business trip, he goes on them all the time and always comes back” you spoke with a little giggle as you watched Tsumikis sad expression turn into embarrassment.

“I’m glad to know I’m still wanted in this house” Gojo spoke as he got back on his feet.

“Now all of you come here so I can give you a little goodbye kiss” He added while making comical kissing sounds.

Megumi was quick to want to be put down and run away with Tsumiki as their little feet pattered across the apartment floor with little giggles. You watched as Gojo chased after them and grabbed them both in his arms in the same time to give them both a disgustingly kiss mixed with saliva.

“GROSSSS” the two kids shouted but you could tell there was no real bite to it.

“Now..” Gojo started with a sinister grin

“Oh no.” You thought.

“WE ATTACK NOW!!” Gojo shouted as all three of them ran towards you almost knocking you down as they attacked you with soft kisses in between laughter.

Now, Gojo could say in confidence, maybe there were sacrifices he had to make, some things he had to get used to. But, he wouldn’t change it for anything because Gojo Satoru was the strongest and being with the three of you only made him stronger, his motivation to fight and protect.

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mya-jaa5 · 4 months ago

Text

my affection

part tew

As you walk out the bathroom smelling good and freshly washed up, you take a good look around your surroundings, and realize you’ve never been here before… you’ve been to scaramouche house before, he told you his mother wanted to meet you and invited you to dinner with them… but last minute she called and said she couldn’t make it. you wondered if scaramouche cared she couldn’t make it, he didn’t seem phased but you still enjoyed dinner with him…

but this wasn’t his mother home… what is this place? as you walk down stairs in your socks, trying to quietly get down stairs, not wanting to alert him.

his place was pretty beautiful, Scaramouche was rich, you knew it too. but this was almost like- bigger than a normal house…. and you don’t remember Scara telling you he had another place… maybe this is someone else’s? No then he wouldn’t have told you that you have to stay…

you make it to the hall way and see there’s a cracked door shining light, so you go into a that room, and you found the dinner table, the two plates of food was already placed, he made lasagna with garlic bread and a mini spinach salad. it was a small square table, meaning you’d be super close to him… and currently you don’t want to be next to him.

you stare at the food and suddenly someone comes in startling you, you look up and see it’s a… butler? He was holding two wine cups filled a little above halfway…

He looked surprised seeing you, but didn’t say anything. If anything he immediately turned his gaze down, he quickly set down the cups at their designated place, and left back to the kitchen you assume, you can also hear clinking in that room he disappeared to, you wanted to check what’s in there, slowly walking up to that door… But..

“How was your bath? I hope you feel relaxed after it, i definitely do” Scaramouche saids, stretching one of his arms.

You stop walking towards the kitchen and turn around to face him looking irritated, you guys are kinda far from each other currently.

“What is all this.”

You say straightforwardly.

He looks at the table, then the food, then back at you.

“It’s for you, it’s clearly a dinner? Did you forget i told you about this before i left the bathroom?”

You started getting annoyed.

“I know what you said, i meant is this to try and win me over? To get me to forgive you? It wont happen.”

Scara chuckles and walks up to you.

“You know you gotta calm down, think of this as a kind act… I did this all the time anyways, what’s so different from now?”

He places his hands on both your shoulder and squeezes it a little.

“Loosen up y/n… Your hungry aren’t you? You’ve been asleep for a while since you passed out.”

You were gonna say something before scaramouche suddenly grabbed your hand and pulled you to the table, sitting you down to the chair next to his. You sat up a little to try and change your seat to across the table, but he grabs your arm, harshly.

“Where are you going?”

Scara said sharply, he didn’t need you trying to get away from him.

“I’m gonna… Sit across from you.”

He looks you up and down like he was judging you.

“No just sit here, your already sitting anyways. Don’t make this difficult”

He finished his statement and let go of your arm…

What? Almost like he threatened you…

But you decided to stay silent, he’s crazy enough to kill you parents over a guy you were only texting….

You picked up your fork and look at your dinner, you can’t lie it looks really good… So you dip your fork into the lasagna first. Bringing it to your mouth and biting it to the food… Very tasty… The flavors were amazing, everything was perfect, you ate the garlic bread and the salad too, you didn’t realize how hungry you were.

“You look like your enjoying your food… I know you don’t want to speak to me but… Since your living here you have to abide to my rules”

He watches you eat your food peacefully.

ofc he has rules…

You continue to eat your food not really giving him a glance. Sorts giving him attitude.

“Look at me while i’m talking to you”

He suddenly snapped.

You wanted to sigh but, you only looked up at him so he can finish what he has to say, so you can continue eating, but his face slightly softens once you looked at him.

He clears his throat.

“y/n… let’s make a toast.”

Slightly confused you look at your wine cup, and take it into your hand bringing close to you.

“What are you toasting”

“We… are toasting to… New beginnings, to a fresh start, a new lifestyle, us, and forever…”

He raises his glass towards yours to toast with you, you wondered what would happen if you didn’t click your cup with his but, let’s not find out.

You clink your glass cup with scaramouche, and he smiles before drinking his wine. You drink yours as well tasting nothing but bitterness, which your still not used too. Now you feel like your fully in this, like there’s no turning back, it’s almost like he made you promise to him… Without you saying anything at all, you wondered if life was better like this, not like you would ever have to worry financially… But that’s just the bright side…

You shared few words to each other and you finished your food, you look over at scaramouche who barely ate his food.

“you barely ate”

“oh? Don’t worry about it i ate before you woke up… why you worried about me?”

He smirks, teasing you.

“No- It was just a question nothing further than that”

scaramouche glares at you but it goes away.

“I’m glad you ate, are you tired?”

You pounder your answers

“um no not yet… What time is it?”

Scaramouche looks at the clock

“it’s 1:23am”

It was pretty late… But you weren’t that tired, you caught up on all your sleep while passed out so..

“Wheres my phone?”

He looks at you then nonchalantly says

“i threw it away. you don’t need it, i don’t need you calling people for help, or reminiscing the past, the past is over with get over it.”

he saids sharply…

Your world shatters once you hear that, he threw your phone away? Your phone that had all your memories of your friends… Your parents… And everything to not be bored on your phone… All taken away in one night. It’s not like you can’t live without your phone, sometimes you restrict yourself from using it to spend your time doing something useful, but this just feels like being grounded or something.

“Its… Gone for good?”

Scaramouche sighs

“Yes it’s gone, don’t worry about it, we have tv, cable, streaming services, anything you want.”

You deeply sigh, you won’t let him see your tears again for that night… You wipe your mouth with a napkin and look at your empty plate.

Scara then suddenly gets up from his seat.

“Lets go now, we’ll watch a movie, then go to sleep, come.”

_____

He grabs your hand gently and pulls your from your seat, then leading you to the living room. While you followed behind, as expected the walk there was beautiful, looking at everything

once in the living room he sat down and pulled you down on the couch as well, the lights were all off and only the that shined light was the tv.

“Any recommendations?”

As you were about to recommend a movie he looked away from you and started looking for a movie.

“Never mind, you don’t get to choose”

He always did that, it was a habit of his to see you get your hopes up, just for them to go down because of him… You never took it wholeheartedly tho, it was a clear joke.

You go to get a cover that’s on the side of the couch to put over your legs. while it seems like scara had a movie already planned out. You slightly sit away from him so your not directly touching him. He doesn’t seem to notice as he stares at the tv.

This was normal for you guys, you’ve watched a few movies or shows with just him, but it’s does feel a little different now… But you still had your old tendencies, you were used to this.

(He played “Under Paris”)

The movie starts playing after the intros, as it plays your just focused on it, he picked a good movie. The actors are good looking, and you were invested. You give out slight reactions during the movie which oblivious to you scara was watching, mainly you, how could he choose a great movie and not watch it?

He took the other end of the blanket that was covering your legs and also covered his legs, moving slightly closer to you.

“This movie pretty good huh?”

You mumbled a slight “Yeah..”

Since your still mad at him.

Scara smiled a little and hugged you, really out of no where it even surprised you

You tried to pull away.

“Scara stop you already touched me in the bathroom.”

you said.

“Its simple affection y/n.”

You don’t tend to get overwhelmed easily, but you do when things don’t go your way, your a bit selfish, but wasn’t he too after kidnapping you?

“Stop scara- Your being annoying”

You were able to say this, because you’ve told him this many times while together, you didn’t think much of it, you easily brushed it off but…

Suddenly his voice got really deep and sounded angry, he pulls away and looks straight at you.

“Excuse me? What the fuck is your issue y/n? Do you have a problem with me?”

He said angrily.

“Y/n your acting as if all this between us just disappeared, you left me for like 3 weeks?? You basically disrespected me.”

“…What? i disrespected you?? I literally stayed by your side even when you made me not go out with my friends-“

Scaramouche cuts you off.

“And? What your saying you didn’t enjoy it? It’s not like i told you to drop them, I took you out on dates, i spoiled you with gifts, stop acting like you never liked it.”

You can’t lie that month where he suddenly got super possessive was a little fun, sure he always stole you from your friends, but you got to talk to him, and spend time with him. I guess him taking more time to focus on both of yours relationship did build the bond a bit stronger…

“i was just taking our relationship to the next step, but nooo i’m sooo possessive and soo controlling, you had to break up with me. I put all my focus on us…”

he saids the last part darkly…

he stands up and walks away from you but still in the room.

“If you don’t understand, i’ll make you understand y/n, your not just gonna switch up and stop loving me.

He turns and faces you, with a scowl on his face.

“You still love me, and even you know that, so why pretend?”

he gives you one last glare, then he walked away, not even letting you have a say in the argument… leaving you in the living room to just stare at the tv, the movie wasn’t even over… whatever…

it was almost 3 am now… Really late. So you decide to go to sleep on the couch, not really wanting to seek Scara. You grab the blanket and pull it over you, getting a couch pillow was enough comfort for you, you lay down and turn the tv off leaving you in the dark.

You always enjoyed the dark, it was soothing, the only time you’d get to yourself, since everyone would be asleep at night, you wondered if he really was gonna make you stay at his mansion forever, then if breaking up with him was the best choice… was he really just putting his focus on the relationship? he makes you sound selfish… like you used him. anyways… you reminisce your other friends, but decide not to think and go to sleep… you slowly fall asleep for the night.

____

After scaramouche left the living room, he went to his room, his room was quite big. He had everything he wanted, a huge home, butlers to do everything for him, unlimited streaming services, and he was rich, what more could he want? but even that gets draining…

He was missing something in his life currently, that spark of… Not even excitement… He couldn’t understand, he was mad at you for treating him like that, it’s like you hated him, maybe killing your parents was over the top… But were you really gonna hand yourself over to him if he asked before? That’s why he spent all his time preparing to ask you that big question, sure it was quick but you only had one more year left of school, you can start early… But you don’t understand, it’s okay.

It’s fine it doesn’t matter now, it’s only the first day, ofc anyone would be mad at the change of their situation, especially if they were forced… But his head didn’t tell him that. You’ll learn to love the spaciousnesses of the mansion, you’ll see that the only person who was waiting for you was him, and not anyone else, if he has to prove it then so be it, he’ll just have to plan ahead, be a step ahead…. you’ll learn to love him deeply, even more than before. He sat on his bed, in his thoughts already setting up a plan… Soon he looked at the time and he laid down on his bed.

“It’s only the first day… Ill make progress..”

He says silently to himself, almost like it’s a promise to himself, he falls asleep shortly afterwards….

——

this took me a lil, idk if i even like it i might let it stale a lil then edit it again lol 🤧 idk if i like this y’all omg pls lmk 😭 idk where this finna go 👻

did y’all see the bet awards omg childish gambino 😭 and he’s releasing a movie or show im so excited for it he’s like my dream, fan girling rn but i love him and everything he does 😭😭

also should i like do smut next chapter idk i feel like this going slow

#yandere scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scara x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #wanderer x reader #scara #wanderer #kunikuzushi x you

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star-girl69 · 2 years ago

Note

Hey I just want to say your last chapter … made me cry it was sooooo ✨good✨ but very sad.

I also love how in the HCs that the kids have basically stolen Reader from Jake and Neytiri 🤣

My Heart Never Knows

(Headcannons)

y/n, jake, and neytiri have date night. chaos ensues

a/n: thank you so much anon 🥹🫶

and bc i have too many thoughts abt these series here’s more headcannons!!

ok so jake, you and neytiri getting ready to go out for date night

yk you put on your nicest outfit made sure your hair looks nice the usual

and then lo’ak is like “you look really pretty tonight. are we going somewhere?”

“well i am, it’s date night”

HAHAH ok here’s each of their reactions this is so funny to me

neteyam:

“damn i didn’t even know those existed anymore”

he’s mostly chill with it

prays that his siblings won’t be too crazy, since he’s the one who has to watch them

starts freaking out when he realizes WHO IS GOING TO MAKE DINNER????

lo’ak:

“MAMA PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME”

“you’ll be fine for ONE night”

“I WONT TAKE ME WITH YOU”

absolutely distraught

he’s going through a lot rn ☹️💔

kiri:

“WHO IS GOING TO MAKE DINNER???”

tuk is not allowed near fire, neteyam will probably burn it, kiri would rather die than eat something lo’ak made

she can probably make something but it’s not the same ☹️

*fake crying* “so you just hate your children? you want us to die?”

“kiri what”

tuk:

is totally going to cling to your leg

begs you to stay

“MAMA PLEASE I LOVE YOU DONT ABANDON ME”

neteyam has to pry her off

meanwhile jake and neytiri are just standing outside listening to the screaming

tapping their feet and looking at their non existent watches yk

when you FINALLY escape they grab you so fast and just BOOK it

like the furthest possible date spot

it’s probably like a cute picnic or something in the forest

probably the place that you mated too

it’s so cute they love you so much 😪

what happens:

the house isn’t actually that much of a mess

kiri made dinner and cleaned up after herself bc she’s just amazing like that

tuk kept trying to escape

neteyam was seriously thinking about putting a leash on her like tying her up or something

then she just sits on your guys’ hammock and refuses to move

forgets about it and ends up falling asleep

lo’ak is wallowing in the corner

like what is he supposed to do without you?

getting home:

kiri hugs you as soon as you come home and says

“yeah like my dinner was amazing bc i am amazing but please don’t ever leave us like this again”

neteyam is just like hi

tuk is fast asleep and then the commotion wakes her up and she is JUMPING over to you to hug all of her parents

lo’ak is like “you left me” ☹️💔

you’re like “for 3 hours?”

“2 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds too long”

basically you’ve been stolen but you love your babies so 🤗

#jake x neytiri #jake sully x reader #neytiri x reader

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lynlyndoll · 11 months ago

Text

I wish

genre: fluff, angst, comfort, neighbor au, friends to crushes to strangers to lovers

pair: bangchan x fem!reader

summary: You've always wished for things that never happened, or at least, that's what you thought. The whole theory you made about not getting what you truly wished for was ended when your biggest wish got granted. The one of having the one you love next to you.

word count: 4k

lyn's note: hello guys! oh my, i've missed writing and publishing actual fics here :)) so here is the first part of the event, i hope you guys will like it! please reblog/like if you like this, thank you!!!

8 days for Christmas masterlist

“I wish… I wish…” you kept saying in your parents’ car, watching out the window at the white scenery displayed outside. You were in the process of moving away from your old house because of your dad’s new job - something that you disliked with your whole heart. Not only that you were moving away from your best friends, but the move came during Christmas time - your favorite time of the year, that now has been fogged with sad thoughts of leaving your favorite people. “I wish we wouldn’t have moved.” You scoff, continuing your idea. Your parents look at you, your mom slightly smiling.

“Everything’s going to be fine, Y/N… You’ll see! You love Christmas! Look how much snow we have!” She chuckles, making you look at her and sigh.

You, indeed, loved snow - a factor that indeed maybe made you be more positive about the move, since during winter, at your old place, snow rarely came. You slowly smiled, however, still trying to keep your sad face on.

You get out of the car and the first thing you do is breathe in the cold air that is brushing over your skin. You smile at the feeling, a little giggle escaping your lips. Looking around, you see a little boy smiling at you, waving his little hand a little after you locked eyes with him. You wave back, which encourages the boy to come closer.

“Hi!” The boy says and you reciprocate the greeting. “You're new, right? I stay just across the street - wait you saw that already… Uhm, if you need some help, I can help you! And my family will, as well! I’m Chan, by the way! Chan Bahng!”

“I’m Y/N…” you shyly say. “Y/N Y/LN. And thank you…” You smile.

Your dad then calls you to help him, interrupting the small interaction between you and the boy, named Chan. You go inside the house to help your parents move in, getting box after box from the moving truck.

“Who’s the boy?” Your mom asks you, as the work is finally done. “He seems nice.”

“He’s Chan. Chan Bahng. His family lives just across the street.” You smile thinking at the boy. Your mom smiles as well.

“Then, if they are our new neighbors, we should invite them to dinner, after we finish moving this mess.” She says, chuckling.

Next time you see Chan is at school, in the hallways.

“Hi, Y/N!” He says, happily. “How have you been? How's the moving? Still don’t need my strong arms?” He jokes, showing his arms as if he had big muscles, making you laugh.

“Thanks, Chan, but we've almost finished! And I've been… I guess, fine? I still miss my friends and the time isn't making it better.” You sigh, thinking about the Christmas you spent with your friends, knowing that this year’s Christmas wont have its special guests around the Christmass tree.

“Yeah, I think I understand the feeling. I also love Christmas and I'm sure it must be hard for you… But still, you have me!” He smiles, taking your hand and running along the corridors till he finds the door that leads to the school’s backyard, which was full of snow. You smile and follow him outside, running around and throwing snowballs at each other.

That night, your family got an invitation for Christmas from the Bahngs. You smiled, remembering what happened during school hours. Your family accepted the invitation, which made you radiate happiness.

The Christmas parties became an annual tradition for your and his families, each year being spent either at your house or his house. You grew up with him being your perfect and funny neighbor, the one that you could always count on for saving the day. A tradition became decorating each other’s house in the last week before Christmas, ending each day with a Christmas movie while drinking your favorite hot chocolate. Many other traditions were made with him, more than half of your special memories being filled with him.

Every year, the school organized a Christmas party for the seniors - and now, it was your turn as well to participate. As much as you loved the idea of going to the school’s party, you knew that there weren't many people interested in the idea of going with you. In fact, you knew that actually no person would want to go with you. No person, except - you hoped - Chan. Chan was always there for you, always ready to help, so why not ask him. Sure, you hoped you’d be the one asked out for the party, but after all, the question itself wasn't a big deal, right?

You prepared everything, so, with the help of your few friends, the question would be perfect. A banner that you made with your girl best friend was hung, your friends were already making Chan walk up to you and your hands were sweaty from the nervousness. But, afterall, he is Chan, right? He wouldn't say no, right?

As he enters the room you specially occupied for the question, his eyes land on you. Your smile is bright as you ask your question. He smiles as well, although, a little bit awkwardly.

“Y/N… as much as I’d want to… I already asked Sana and she said yes.” He says, trying not to upset you. In fact, now you realize how stupid you must've been. You've always known that Chan always liked Sana - nothing new or nothing to bother you. You slightly smile, muttering a “Good job!” and a “Sorry for asking.” as you walk out the room. He tries to follow you, but your friends stop him - they knew you wanted to be alone.

You, indeed, wanted to be left alone, swallowing your tears as you realized that not even your best friend, the boy you've known since you were six years old, the boy who would've done anything for you, didn't want to go with you. Sure, you knew that you were probably too egoistic to think that he'd drop everything for you, but still, you couldn't stop feeling sad that the one person you truly felt connected to, wasn't there for you.

You decided not to bother over the fact that he went to the Christmas party without you. You also decided not to bother when Sana and him started going out together, as a couple, and he hasn't had any time for you as well. You decided not to bother over the fact that he went to the prom, without you again, making you stay at home while eating ice cream and tears mixing with the hiccups you got. Okay, maybe you were indeed upset. Maybe you missed your best friend. So what? You were okay with him dating, afterall, it was a normal thing to do at your age - not that you had part of it. To be completely honest, you haven't had your first kiss yet, but hey! What’s the big deal, right?

“I wish… I wish he’d fucking see.” you sigh. Yes, you wish he’d see that you may care about him more than you'd care for a friend, youd even wish he’d acknowledge it, even if it would mean that he refuses you. At least, that way, you would accept that you have no chance with him.

Even if you were still thinking about your crush on Chan, you decided to try and have some fun without him. So, when you got asked out for the first time, you immediately accepted. Not only because you were desperate to get Chan off your mind, but also because the boy who asked you out wasn’t too bad. In fact, he was a fun person to be with, attentive and caring. Plus, he was also pretty. His name - Taehyung - was pretty as well, it fitted him.

You both went to a few dates together and you soon - almost - forgot about the Chan situation. Sadly, both of you parted away from each other, but you didn't have time to notice that. He tried, indeed, to talk to you, after Sana and him broke up. But you were always with Taehyung, which always brought you joy.

That summer was the summer you parted ways for college as well. You started going to the university from the other side of the town, while he went to the closest university from his home. Every year, however, both of you would see each other for Christmas holidays, both of your eyes lingering on each other for a few seconds, before entering the house, unspoken words coming out every time. Taehyung was a great boyfriend. You loved him, but a little feeling in the back of your mind was always there, never making you stop thinking about Chan.

“Y/N… I- we aren’t working anymore.” A teary Taehyung says, as you are also crying.

It all started two months ago. You and him both started to have a lot of work to do and none of you tried to make a little conversation with each other. You both got back to your shared apartment wasted and full of workload, entering the kitchen, grabbing some quick snack and going to sleep, only for the next day to happen exactly the same. You both tried to start talking again, but whenever one of you tried, the other wasn't in the mood of anything. Other than that, almost every week had its own fight, over the most insignificant stuff, which exhausted each other even more. Today was another fight, because he found the apartment messy. The fight accelerated quickly and soon enough, words were hitting each other again, harshly. Tears appeared in each other’s eyes.

“We… we can’t, we-”

“Don’t you see, Y/N?” He sighs. “We haven’t had a normal conversation for months! We have barely even seen each other!”

“It’s- It’s only a phase, we will-”

“Y/N, please listen to me.” He cupped your face and made you look at him. “I love you, but we aren’t working. This- this is toxic! And it isn’t a phase… We’ve been like this for months, Y/N. For months! It’s not good for any of us!” He says, frustration being heard from the tone of his voice. His words make you cry even harder, hugging him as a goodbye.

“I loved you too, Taehyung. Very much. Thank you… for everything.” You sigh into his embrace. “I’ll leave in the morning.” You say as you go pack your bags.

Tragic, right? The only guy that made you feel safe put an end to your relationship. You knew that the relationship was getting even more toxic by day, but there was a hope… You wished it would get back to normal, to the way it used to be. But of course everything that you truly wish for, never happens. You always have laughed, the truth to be told, about the way that everything that you wished for turned out exactly the other way. If it happened to anyone other than yourself, you’d laugh, honestly. Because it simply sounds funny - to never have something that you truly wish for. And all of these wishes that never ended well, were all during the winter holiday, your favorite time of the year. But maybe it’s just your negative thoughts. Probably. Either way, right now, you have to think about another thing, about packing your things and getting out of your now ex boyfriend.

It's exactly eleven months and thirteen days since you and your ex-boyfriend broke up. You weren't mourning your relationship anymore, however, you were still thinking about the happy moments you had together. However, you had no time to think about your past, now focusing on your last year of university. Truth to be told, you were straight up stressed and frustrated with the amount of work your teachers made you have - but you were ready to give your best.

You still live with your parents, not having enough money to find an apartment all by yourself. Many people said it's stressing, to stay with your parents, but you were glad you still had some time to spend with your family, since you'd move away from home once you finished college. Afterall, this is your last Christmas here and you want to take in everything before you leave your childhood place.

As you were getting nostalgic, you hear your mother call you from outside your room. You find your mom in the kitchen, preparing breakfast.

“Hi, love.” She says and gives you a kiss on your forehead, but quickly gets back to cooking. “Your dad and I will go to his parents for the Christmas week and, since you're full of workload, we know you would prefer to remain at home. The only thing that I want to warn you is that, since you're a Christmas lover, we know you'll want to prepare the whole house for the holidays, so please take care. We will leave tomorrow morning, before you'll wake up, so don't worry about us.”

You smile and nod, still a little bit sleepy. “Alright! Please take care, mom.” Right then, your father came from your parents’ bedroom, smiling at the smell of the pancakes your mother just finished making.

It's already the 17th. Fuck. It's a week before Christmas and, even if you're full of excitement for having the house all for yourself during the holidays, you still can't stop thinking if your Christmas-decoration plan isn't a bit too much for yourself, being alone. But after all, you're Y/N, you've done this many times - sure, with the help of your parents and, well…

“Hey, don't you think you need a bit of… help?” Well, fuck. You could recognize that voice whenever and wherever. The exact person you were thinking of previously, the one and only Chan Bahng. You'd lie if you would say that you wouldn't need some help, though. But you don't want help, especially from him. So you try to ignore his concerned tone, as you try to put the Christmas lights at your house's eaves, standing on a not-so-stable metal staircase. And exactly what you did not wish for, happened. Your stairs happened to just give up on you, making you fall. Chan, immediately after he saw the way your stairs were moving in a not-so-safe way. He caught you in his arms, preventing you from hitting the pavement. He smiles, but once you feel his arms stopping your fall, you jump away from him, rearranging your outfit. He coughs, sighing at his question still being unanswered.

You force a smile. “Well, I guess..” You sigh, thinking that you, indeed, need some help. Even from Chan, your ex-best friend and still neighbor.

Indeed with the help of another person, you soon finished decorating the outside. As you were entering the house, he stopped you. “Hey, uhm, maybe… I can help you with the inside as well? Since it's a big house and little time and we'll, you're alone.” He smiles, almost too awkwardly for Chan. He was right. Again. Another thing to add to the list of the things you don't like about him. You nod your head, inviting him in. Well, maybe you have another helper. The only thing you need to do is just, simply, finish the whole decorating situation, as fast as you can, and he'll be gone. Right?

That was the plan. A plan you had terribly failed, starting off with the question: “What in the world smells like this?”. A question asked by your neighbor, Chan. A question that even yourself would’ve asked if you wouldn't have been the one preparing the Christmas cookies you once knew how to prepare. You laughed, honestly, because another thing that you wished for just simply didn't happen. Well, that's the smallest thing that hasn't happened as wanted, you told yourself. Funny. Either way, the bad smell somehow found its way into the alley - the one Chan, exactly at that moment, was walking by. Funny, again. He knocked at your door, thinking that there might have been some type of fire accident and he was worried for you - something you brushed off easily, as only guilt built up through years. He asked you that exact question, which made you laugh - a genuine laugh, that made Chan thank God for finally getting some type of positive reaction to him - and you simply answered by letting him inside, showing him the cookies - the horribly burnt, with no taste cookies. You knew that you were a bad cook since you were a kid, to be honest. But usually, your parents or friends - yes, even Chan used to fit this category - were next to you, helping you out, which always made your cooking way more bearable - not for you, but for the other's health. Once he sees the cookies, his signature smile appears, his nose scrunching from both the unpleasant smell and from laughing. You smile as well - another sign that Chan takes in.

“Okay, don’t you think you need some help with… those?” He says, amusingly.

“Maybe…” You laugh as well, throwing the cookies into the bin.

That day, you cooked with Chan till late. The first attempt that you both made was so good that none could stop eating, so exactly when you wanted to take some and put them for the decor, you noticed none was left. So you both did another round of cookies, this time leaving some for the decor. Seeing that it was close to midnight, you invited him to eat something at your house, from your mom’s famous Christmas steak - an actually very common steak, however, you and Chan gave that name a few years ago, in your childhood. So he accepts your invitation, settling down at the table. That night, you both started talking about everything that happened during the time you didn’t talk - a thing that somehow, made you feel better. It was a good dinner, you thought, even if the steak was a little bit too cold, but his presence made the atmosphere warmer, so you didn’t mind it.

There are exactly 6 days, 20 hours and 21 - actually 22, no 23 - seconds since you started planning for Christmas and eventually, started speaking to Chan again. A thing you finally didn’t regret. You were finally together, again. And tonight was finally Christmas Eve. Funny, you didn’t even register how the time went.

Ding Dong.

A sound comes from outside of your house. You open the door and are met with a red-nosed Chan, with the one sweatshirt you gave him years ago - you didn’t even recognize it at first - and with his hands on two hot chocolates, both from your favorite cafe in town. He looks up at you, eyes a little bit teary from the cold and you immediately smile and let him in.

“Hey-”

“I did not want you to spend Christmas alone, Y/N… So, here I am!” he answers right away at your unspoken question. You forgot this man can literally predict your every move. So you just smile and help him with the hot chocolate - which you then pour into your favorite mugs, the ones you both got for Christmas, a long time ago.

“What movie are we watching this Christmas, Y/N?” He asks, making himself cozy on your couch. You sit next to him, placing some of the Christmas cookies you both made together in front of you, accompanied by the hot chocolate Chan got - especially for you, a thing that he won’t tell anyone, actually.

“Well, how about (your favorite Christmas romance movie)?” You smile, as he nods and opens Netflix, pressing play to the movie.

There are 6 days, 23 hours and 19 - 20, 21 and 22 - seconds since Christmas appeared in your planning agenda again and you're finally at the last part. The one you enjoyed every Christmas - cuddling with a sleepy and warm Chan, that knows all the action of the movie, so when he wakes up at exactly 3 minutes before the main characters kiss, he knows all the action that has happened. And now, he’s finally awake, again, 3 minutes before the kiss scene, exactly as you expected.

2 minutes.

“Okay, they are close!” He says with excitement in his voice as he hugs you even closer than you were, making you chuckle. You hug him back as well. Somehow, you like this proximity, even if it feels way more different than it used to be back when you were teenagers. It feels intimate, but you brush the thought off.

1 minute.

“Hold on~” He says, trying to figure out exactly the moment they will kiss. The two main characters are on the big screen of your TV, meaningful words being said by both of them. You start thinking how good it has to feel to have a winter love that grows day by day and the love erupts during Christmas Eve. It feels magical, untouchable, and you have to admit that you'd want to feel it too. Feel the thrill of celebrating both Christmas and the day you and your loved one had become a couple. You tried to imagine it, but the only thing that came into your head was the little boy that you saw the first day you moved here. In your imagination, the little boy grew and grew, and then you saw through your thoughts dates that he would have probably taken you to. You sigh at the mental images you imagined, returning back to reality when he strokes your hand. Your eyes meet his - he was already looking at you.

30 seconds

“Are you okay?” His gentle voice rings in your head.

“Yeah…” That's all you can say. You're not fooling him, so he scoots even closer to you.

“Y/N, I know you for a long time - too long to remember actually” He cracks a joke, making you smile. “I know when you’re not doing great, so please tell me. I am - well, I used to - be your best friend-”

“You still are…” You interrupt him.

15 seconds

“Well, I’m glad because you’re also mine-”

“That’s the thing. We’re best friends.” you continue.

“Yeah… I know?”

“Well, yeah, only best friends. Nothing else. Exactly as we used to be during our childhood.” You say, your gaze now being in your lap. He doesn’t say anything, so you continue. “During our childhood, I never truly understood what I felt to you. I confused it with… friendship, but it wasn’t quite that. It was more like… teen love, I guess? I mean, I was still a kid, but I felt something for you, more than I felt for my other friends, y’know? And… it broke my heart when I saw you with Sana-”

“It broke my heart to see you with Taehyung, as well.” He says, quietly, making you look at him, his blush prominent on his cheeks. “I mean… I thought you didn't see me this way and all of my friends made fun of me for not having a relationship, so I asked Sana out because I knew - well, I thought - you’d say no.” He sighs.

3 seconds

“Well, I never knew-”

“Is there a reason why we stopped talking?” He asks, making you nod. He cups your cheeks and lets out a heavy sigh.

2 seconds

“Do you, by any chance, still feel the same way?” He asks, hoping to be heard in his tone.

“I-” you remain blocked, a smile growing and growing until it reaches your eyes. “Yeah.”

1 second

“Then, fucking kiss me!” He groaned, rolling his eyes in a fake annoyance.

Kiss scene

No one was focusing on the movie, not now when your lips were on his. He was like coziness, home and safety - a mix of all of your comfort things. He tasted like Christmas, like actual Christmas. Both of you started to smile in the kiss, a soft, long awaited moment for both of you.

“I wish we did this before…” You say once you break the kiss.

“I wish we will do this forever.” He smiles, bringing another wave of positivity to you, kissing you again, just as he wished. Forever.

taglist: @agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee @jenny1p-l0ve

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rose-and-thorn-fanfics · 24 days ago

Text

“A Far Fall From The Heights Of Heaven” A Dio Brando x Self Insert Fanfic (PART 4)

Another month had passed. It was now the holiday season, and I was missing my sister Denise. Maybe, MAYBE even my mom. A little. Dio sat at the desk, writing with a fountain pen in the dark. I would've been concerned for his eyesight, but... well, vampires see even better in the dark. I peaked over his shoulder, attempting to read his handwriting. He stopped writing and handed me the paper, noting that I was struggling to read.

"To the family of my beloved Rose..." I read his words out loud, then paused.

"Too formal?" Dio asked earnestly.

I giggled. "Just the right amount. I mean you did kidnap me. They probably think I'm dead at this point. That in itself calls for some formality."

Dio chuckled, taking the paper back from me and signing it with his overly dramatic signature. "They'll be pleased to know you're alive. Your sister.... Denise. Does she live at a separate address? Should i make another copy?"

"No, unless her plans changed, her and her husband are staying at my mom's house in the guest bedroom for the first two years of their marriage while they shop for homes and get more secure jobs. One letter to my mom's house will do." I explained.

Lord Dio nodded, then stood up, slipping the letter in an envelope. He sealed it with a carnelian signet ring he often wore on his right index finger.

"Why are you writing to my family though? Is it just to let them know I'm ok? Or... about the baby?"

Dio blushed a bit, a rare sight, but becoming less rare since I'd told him he was going to be a father. "We are visiting them. I've made arrangements. Your family does celebrate the Yuletide season?"

My eyes must've lit up at the mention of visiting them because he leaned down and tilted my chin up, inspecting my expression with amusement. "They go all out for Christmas. My mom's a christian, so thats kind of her favorite holiday." I added. "My sister Denise is very much into the presents more than the religious meaning, so we should bring her something nice! And my grandparents come over and aunts and uncles...."

Dio frowned suddenly. "That's a lot of relatives you have. What a scene it must be."

I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. I knew he hadn't experienced that growing up, at least not with his blood-relatives. I was glad I could be spending this time of the year with him. Maybe my family could show him that kind of Yule spirit that he'd never had in his childhood.

"They'll love you." I assured him.

"They'd better." He said in a snarky tone, regaining his confident demeanor. "Or your mom wont be invited over to visit her grandchildren."

I laughed nervously, noticing that gleeful look in his eyes. I prayed that all my lucky stars would keep this visit from being a catastrophy.

...............................................................................................................

The flight to Los Angeles was actually quite relaxing. I wasn't far enough into my pregnancy that flying was a problem. Dio had a private jet because public transport isn't suitable for vampires, apparently. He didn't fly it. THANK GOD. He isn't the best with electronics, being from Victorian era England, and having spent so much time in a coffin under the sea. I had taught him how to take a selfie on his phone. He was a fast learner, but not "fly a private plane" kind of fast.

We landed several times before the break of dawn and stayed at expensive hotels through the days, to avoid sunlight.

Finally we landed in Los Angeles. An SUV with tinted windows showed up at the private landing place of Dio's jet.

"You have connections in Los Angeles?" I whispered.

Dio Brando grinned. "I have connections everywhere. Now, lets get to your parents before the Christmas Eve party starts."

I yawned and slept through most of the car ride. I woke up when the car pulled in front of my mom's house in one of the nicer neighborhoods of Los Angeles, far enough from the hustle of hollywood or the stench of downtown LA.

I was wearing a green velvet dress with lots of chips of crystals on the edge of the neckline. It was expensive (vivienne westwood), and went fabulously with Dio's gold leather 1980s style jacket and fitted shirt and pants. I knew my mom would not approve of either of our outfits. I didn't care.

We strolled up to the tall front door with the beautiful transom window above it. The whole house was decorated in lights. Dio rang the doorbell, then stood back, wrapping his arm around me (for reassurance? Who knows...)

Several moments passed, then my mom opened the door. She was a tall woman, brunette, with a severe expression on her square face that got more sever upon seeing Dio and I.

"I assume you're the one who found my daughter in Egypt?" She said skeptically.

Dio nodded. "Yes, Madam." He said in the least respectful tone possible.

"So you've come to return her? Well.... I guess that's fine. Come in." She said, pursing her lips and eyeing my dress with a look of distain. I understood, though. No one likes to their missing daughter showing up in a revealing designer dress to a conservative celebration of the birth of Jesus with a guy dressed like David Bowie on his glass spider tour ready to perform.

As we walked in, Dio muttered words only audible to me. "I'm not returning anything."

I smiled, knowing this would come up later at the dinner table. I felt the eyes of all my relatives on me. My aunts, uncles, grandparents, and sister. They looked like they'd seen a ghost. I wasn't sure if I should say something. I ended up just waving meekly, and introduced Dio. "This is my husband, Dio. Dio, this is Aunt Jenna, Uncle Juan, My grandma, my grandpa, Denise, and her husband Todd."

"YOUR HUSBAND?!!!" Denise blurted out.

Dio took a seat, ignoring the shock of everyone and motioning for me to sit in his lap. I felt overwhelmed by all the attention, so I took him up on that offer, sitting on his lap and feeling a bit better now that his arms were around me. "You didn't mention the marriage in the letter, did you?" I whispered in his ear.

Dio shook his head. "I wanted to share the happy news in person. Letters are too impersonal."

I sighed. I should've expected that from Lord Dio. He loved a personal touch. Whether seeking revenge or announcing his bride, that seemed like a theme for him.

"Married, huh?" My mom scoffed. "You actually married my youngest daughter? Well, I suppose there was bound to be one man... unique enough to appreciate her." She made it very clear that "unique" was a replacement for a less gentle word. Yup. Thats my mom. She manages to be both protective over me and yet cant understand what anyone would possibly see in me for marriage. My eye began twitching with irritation and anxiety.

"She's not hard to appreciate, if you have enough brain cells... that is." Dio retorted. "Only an idiot would be blind to my Rose's beauty."

My sister snickered. My mom inhaled sharply and crossed her arms, clearly offended but not vocal enough to come up with a reply.

My uncle Todd spoke up. "Well, what's your job? Do you think you can afford to support our Rose?"

I started panicking. Money? Not a problem. Dio's occupation? BIG FUCKING PROBLEM. Being a cult leader doesn't really check the boxes for families like mine. I wracked my brain for alternative or vague enough answers that sounded legitimate. But Dio was faster.

"I'm the CEO of an organization that is highly classified in its nature. While I can't tell you the details of my job, I can say that I easily can afford to support Rose financially." Lord Dio said cooly.

"And you're from Egypt?" Aunt Jenna asked, raising a drawn-on brow.

"England, actually. London to be exact." Dio Brando said. "Is there any wine at this party?"

Denise rushed to the kitchen and came back with some expensive french wine and two glasses. She seemed the most receptive to Dio's presence. "Here you go!" She said, handing the one glass to Dio and the other to--Oh. Me.

"Uh, actually I don't drink." I said carefully.

"Huh." Denise said, slowly pulling the glass away. After a deafening few minutes of silence, Dio had finished his wine, and I was getting tired of being the center of attention.

Then Denise spoke. "So when's the due date?" 'And thats our cue' I thought, muscles tightening with stress. "Yeah.... uh, I was going to tell you guys at present opening time, but..."

My mom, catching on to the subject turned a shade of ashen grey that always was the precursor to her passing out.

"...I'm having a baby. It'll be in late fall, according to the doctors (thats the due date). Dio is the father, and we are both really excited to be parents!" I said, mustering enthusiasm in hopes it would be reciprocated. My mom passed out, but after everyone made sure she was alright I got lots of congratulations from the rest of my family.

I beamed, glad that at least this baby would be welcomed into my chaotic family. I had dreaded the thought of having to explain to my children how their grandparents, aunts, and uncles didn't want anything to do with them. This was a relief.

The rest of the night was filled with festivities. We sang carols (some of the older British ones Dio was excited to find familiar, and we feasted on delicious cranberry bread, apple cider, and roasted mushrooms by candlelight. Everyone seemed to fall in place, being supportive of our relationship (Except my mom who was resting in the master bedroom). I gave Denise a beautiful pair of designer sandals from Egypt, and everyone agrees they were definitely her style. I got lots of presents, and I loved watching Dio's expression as he saw my excitement when playing (and winning with his help) the traditional Yule games. After the games I fell asleep on the couch, cuddled in a blanket with my head in Dio's lap. I would remember this night forever.

TYSM FOR READING!!!!!

TUMBLR FANFIC TAG-LIST!

@sflame15-blog

@rottent33th

@armyangxls

@darkangel4405

@promiseokza

@6lostgirl6

@vamp-doll-diva

@queen-dk

@richardamboramylove55

@chaos-4baby

#fanfiction #fanfic #self ship #dio brando #jojos bizarre adventure #dio brando fanfic #dio brando x reader #dio jjba #jjba fanfic

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random-fandom-chaos · 3 months ago

Note

The minor on this blog is being groomed - kid, if you're reading this, please tell a trusted adult.

There is NO reason an adult should be sharing a blog with you, a child under 13, where they access and interact with and follow nsfw content. Even saying "ask me for smut".

This isn't okay or appropriate. Please tell a trusted adult, and cut contact with this person ASAP. I know it's difficult and I've been in your position before, I know you probably think of them as your friend - but please ask yourself why a 23 year old wants to share a blog with and be friends with a presumably 10-11 year old child, when they can easily do this with people their own age. They could even run their own blog, by themselves, without risking a child seeing nsfw content.

Please hear me out and think carefully about this, because I wish someone had sent me a message like this when I was your age.

Ah-…

okay so. Hello. Serious talk, im Kai No no no no, yes we used to like say those rules.

trust me please km not grooming them, im their older cousin, ik what grooming is

The thug s we out in the bio we use to think cpuld work out, trust me I realized it sounded like grooming, both us being lazy as fuck to change it though, but trust me we dont do that anymore I literally unfollowed nsfw stuff

trust me, we both know what grooming is and what and who we can trust

they’ve been through SA before, they know. So have i.

So whoever you are

please understand that if you think thats the issue its not we just havent changed out bio so sorry

and if you want you can privately message me kn this issue I could get Chaos

also, I would kill to get my own blog, they are so much better at hiding things cuz even if im a damn adult my fucking parents still search throguh everything on my damn phone and take it away EVEN THOUGH EVEN THOGUH IM AN ADULT ITS SO FUCKING STUPID- so I will be getting my own blog soon, once I move out of my parents house since im still in college, I promise i wont share with them, its just that we find tumblr a safe space to be in so they offered to share their blog with me, please, grooming is something that should be taken seriously! I assure you this is a serious matter. Especially when you accuse someone of it, I understand the misunderstanding but I was in an actually horrible state of mind too, I’ve gotten therapy and meds and im almost finishing college and looking for my own place to live,

again apologies for the misunderstanding

-Kai

(please if you would like to talk to Chaos you could Privately chat or smth.)

#Kai answers #Serious matter.#Guys please we were lazy af to change the bio #Im not like that anymore #Sorry #Also I will be talking to chaos about this and if they dont want to share a blog anymore #if they take this into consideration #What they want is what I’ll do #I care for them they have been there for me #Please dont accuse me of Grooming with tout knowing my background issues #its fine if you ask about them to get to understanding #But overall #i will be talking to chaos about what they think #Sorry.

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autisticlee · 2 months ago

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any other autistic/adhd/dissociative/disabled-in-general person forced to do thjngs that you know you shouldn't do because huge safety issue or can't do it correctly or causes severe pain and do it so poorly it affects your health or safety or life in very negative ways? but you have no choice but to out yourself in danger?

for example, I always see posts like "other people complain they were forced to do a thing but they can still do it so that means they cant complain since i literally cant do it at all" basically. no sympathy for people forced to do dangerous and unsafe and painful and scary things! sounds very dismissive! I see driving as one example a lot. others say they simply cannot because *list of reasons*. but what if you were forced even though you have still those reasons?

another common one is making food for yourself. "I'll be very malnutritioned if i'm forced to" what if you are forced to make your own food and live off bare minimun so ARE malnutritioned and just have to accept health issues that come with it? sometimes see people can't go places alone because it's dangerous. what if you had to anyway and just have to deal with people harassing you and trying to kidnap you and can't ask or scream for help and no one takes you seriously when you tell the stories if you're lucky to get away? or can't do a thing because it's painful. imagine accepting the pain without treatment and giving up on living a good life. or cant get a job but forced to work a job with family who makes you stay even when job tears your body apart and makes you very depressed because you hate it but have bills and parents wont pay for everything and dismiss your struggles and force you to be "adult" alone.

anyone else forced to do these things they know they can't and just have to suffer consequences of it alone? I never see posts like this. saw a couple posts by people who don't do these things and dismiss people struggling and being forced to do them because they decided it means we "can" so arent allowed to complain because it "dismisses/talks over people like them who cant" but that's doing the same thing! right???? dismissing other people by claiming they talk over and dismiss you is still dismissive. there can be multiple voices at once! is not a competition!

often see posts talking about "I can't be forced because I cant do it" but people recognize that and help them in life. i'm glad they have help! don't see as many posts about how hard it is to be forced when you know you can't and should not but still have to. because!!!!! just because you are forced to do a thing doesn't mean you ~actually can do it~ or should be. you can be forced into danger every time and have very bad things happen. no choice but to accept the bad things and deal with them. and that can be super scary and frustrating and stressful!!!!! not fair if we can't talk about that!!!!

for food, of my mom doesn't make something j can eat, I have to make my own. cannot cook. can't follow directions. cooking is sensory overwhelming. can't stand in place for long. for some reason makes me really dizzy and pain and stuff. so go sit down and get distracted and ruin food every time. lose appetite after cooking and can't eat it. so now only eat cereal and protein bars and microwave meals. very not healthy. probably ads to health issues. am malnutritioned. can't get everything needed. but have no choice because mom won't cook extra meals.

going places alone? tried for last 15 years to make friends to go places with. family hardly ever does things with me. can't make friends. have to go places alone. can't advocate for self. have speech loss every time I leave the house (most days can't say words in general. talking very hard. have very bad intermittent/selective mutism/speech issues. most days can't say words at all. sometimes can recite scripts but usually can't even do that) so can't ask for help. physically can't yell, just unable. talk very quiet when saying any words so no one hears/understands or people misunderstand and either not get whst wanted/needed it people get angry.

somehow bad people attracted to me and always single me out. homeless people always sprint over to me from idk where. ignore everyone else. always jumpscared by them because look at ground or phone when walking. they follow and [[[tw ahead]]] make gross sexual comments and describe things they will do to me. some threaten to kill me and describe in detail how. had one follow for an hour and not leave. had creepy white van parked against my car with back door and saw no one inside and I still got in my car quickly. van suddenly turned on and drove away so someone WAS in it. and didn't realize until I got home how dangerous thst was. had many people follow me at night. had one person grab me and not let go and try to drag me away. dissociated so bad have no memory of how I even got away....autistic brain so sensory overloaded it blocks everything out. dissociates. cannot be aware of my surroundings to spot danger. just incapable! but no one takes me seriously when try to talk about it!!!!

driving? yes I drive. should I be allowed? absolutely not. I know I should not. but don't have a choice, so do dangerous things, hoping people around me can avoid when I do wrong things and pay more attention.

was forced to learn. took 4 years to get license and barely passed the last time. was 1 point away from failure. but live in rural-ish area where everything is far away. is 35-45 minutes to doctors for example. parents womt drive me. they work. don't have friends or other help. was forced to try college (or face being kicked out of home if I didn't try. was 35 minute drive so had to drive self. failed out after a year) and etc. did not want to. fought and argued and cried and melted down begging to not but was punished and threatened. didnt want kicked out in streets alone. is always my dads threat when I don't do what he wants.

so tried my best. drive slow and cautiously as possible. takes at lest 10 minutes longer to get anywhere. brain often dissociate while driving and don't even know how I got there. don't remember the drive. when not dissociating i notice many wrongs. very adhd brain always distracts me. drive off side of road often looking at things. go through red lights all the time and forget to stop at stop signs. accidentally change lanes without noticing I even chnaged. accidentally run people off road/out of their lane all the time.....and etc.

autistic brain always very overwhelmed. too many rules to remember. never remember them and di it wrong. always breaking rules accidentally. too much sensory stuff. too much happening. very! slow! reaction! time! almost hit others many times. have hit things. hit a car once but for some reason they kept going and didn't stop????? guess they didnt care??? idk. confusion!!! but somehow nothing severe yet...have to rely on others to out maneuver my bad driving. brain gets mixed signals a lot. will see break lights ahead way down street and think oh stop. so stop on middle of road for no reason when no one stopped directly in front and light is green or opposite will see light green and ignore break lights in front and almost slam into car. have almost run over many people because don't notice them and they run away in time then scream and are mad. always get lost even with GPS. struggle to understand GPS. go wrong way. drive up one ways wrong way. drive where there's no road, over curbs, through grass, confusing myself and everyone around. cant see at night barely especially when raining so is always extra scary and more broken rules...and many other reasons driving is bad and unsafe for me.

so am forced. have no choice. but KNOW I shouldn't. am danger to myself and everyone around me. I KNOW that but no one believes or cares because no one wants to drive me anywhere and says im lazy. doesn't understand my struggle and how dangerous. when people make me drive them they yell and freak out entire time making it harder!!!! try to avoid driving as much as possible. only haven't gotten in major accidents so far because i live in more rural area and not city so less people/cars. try super hard to concentrate and go slower than supposed to and let other people avoid my bad driving usually. concentrating makes me fall asleep so another bad thing. always fall asleep while driving. because too stressed so brain tries shutting down. if not falling asleep then dissociating.

know I shoukd not be on road because it's dangerous for me and others. but have no choice. so will keep being danger until something very bad happens and have "valid excuse" to not drive......no one listens to my concerns so need to drive to not miss appointments and stuff anyway. sighs.

where is sympathy for people like me? why is it always "can drive vs can't drive" why there never anyway who can't drive but still has to??? just because you do a thing you were forced to doesn't mean you should!!!!!!!!!! and doesn't mean you *can* if you always do it wrong and it's super dangerous!!!! "can" meaning allowed is different from "can" meaning able. you can be allowed to do a thing you're unable to do, so that means you do the thing, but very poorly and unsafe and wrong.

do you know how scary and frustrating it is?! how stressful?! I feel so sick every time I have to drive. catch so many mistakes and probably not catch all. people mad and beep horn constantly. makes me drive worse every time!!!! ban horns! hurts my ears!!!! go around! disabled driver trying their best. stop making it worse and harder! 😭😭😭😭 just pretend it's a video game

I know someone might read and think i'm saying "I can do it so you can" NO OPPOSITE I know you can't do it. but doesn't mean I "can" and should! I also should not. but don't like when people say "I literally can't so stop complaining you're forced/have no choice so have to do it anyway. I don't have choice either and dont. that means you can do it so stop complaining" and stuff like that. glad you weren't forced and threatened to be kicked out of home if you dont pass and can get others to drove you when you need. sometimes desperate times means you do dangerous things you can't. imagine of you actually have to do it anyway and just have to accept you will break rules and hurt yourself and others. it's scary!!!!! and not fair!! dont want you to suffer that. but not fair I can't complain about it! not fair I cant say "I can't do this bit am forced anyway" when clearly I should not be allowed a license!!!! or operate vehicles!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 sometimes intrusive thoughts tell me crash car on purpose so lisence is taken and don't have to drive anymore. but then will be isolated in house and never go to appointments ever again and family will punish me and cant escape them because can't leave. don't want that on anyone and sorry to everyone who experiences that! trying my best to avoid that though...

this isn't to everyone who is disabled/autistic and can't drive or do other stuff. just dont think people will understand and will think i'm attacking when i'm not. Just talking about personal experience and hoping others relate and hoping to not be dismissed again. higher needs people cannot. I know! Just trying to see if anyone else understands!!!! i'm probably medium needs? need help but pass enough to never get any and always have to put self in danger and sruff. but some lower needs make posts they cannot drive and didnt even try fkr example. just afraid because they know they can't. (again not saying they can and should try. good for them keeping that boundary!) but they have choice not to because have people to drive them or have public transport i dont have. understandable. is scary. glad you don't have to and stay safe.

but sometimes feels like they dismiss my struggles and say they think just because I do it means I *can* and they would never. but that "can" is being forced to break laws and rules and causing accidents and being very dangerous to everyone and myself!!!! but having no choice but to do the bad dangerous things anyway because the alternative can be worse. that's the problem. 😭😭😭😭 where are posts about this? anyone understand and have same experiences? or sympathy for people like me that doesnt feel dismissive? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"I can't do it. I know bad thing will happen. so i dont" VS "I can't do it. I know bad thing will happen. but i'm forced to make bad thing happen anyway" are 2 ideas that can both exist!

#autistic #autism #actually autistic #disabled #disability #neurodivergent #disabled adult #adhd #audhd #dissociating #dissociative disorder #anxiety #idk what else to add #this took 2 HOURS TO WRITE. why words hard????? probably still worded wrong and bad #DIDNT EVEN PROOFREAD AND FIX GRANMAR AND SPELLING!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 just gonna stay like this

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ladylaviniya · 8 months ago

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Please someone lobotomise me. I don't want to have big human thoughts. I'm done. Just put me in a care home and let me go through dementia as I enjoy puzzles all day. I'd rather be at peace and forget things than have to continue feeling like I'm constantly drowning.

I hate myself and I hate that I struggle to fit into society.

I just want to be loved and I thought I'd be married with kids by now (yes I'm only 22 but I'm a Christian virgin who struggles with the physical feelings of being comfortable with sex other than the smut I write and read.)

I thought men were real- I thought men were romantic and worshipped women. I didn't realise how objectified and then shamed we are by men who behave like animals.

I don't want to work and I think that's a massive reason I'm having such a bad breakdown. I want to be a Pilates wife. I want to be at home baking and cooking and meal planning and loving a husband. I want to mend his work uniform and sit and rub his feet while he oats my head and tells me I'm his angel.

I don't want to work in disability care where my tolerance is so minimal to loud, overstimulated (overstimulating for me) aggressive clients. Or work with babies that scream and cry and hit along with angry parents that yell at you the moment something goes wrong. I wish job employment agencies would stop trying to pressure me into these roles. I KNOW THEYRE UNDERSTAFFED ALREADY SO IM NOT RIDING A SINKING BOAT- no THANKS

I just want my dad. I just want to go home. I just want to be 6 years old. I want to go to preschook again and do painting.

I don't want to work from 5pm-5am and walking Brisbane streets at night all alone going from one cleaning place to another just for one client to write passive aggressive comments in the Communication booklet and my boss to start telling other co-workers that I'm having meltdowns and I'm high maintenance.

I'm autistic and I just want to be treated like a toddler or a dog because that's kinder than what's happening now.

I just want a husband to look after me and protect me.

I want to just make cute little videos and not have to worry my pretty head about money.

I DONT WANT designer bags or clothes. I just want to have a house I'm allowed to decorate and make dresses or bake for church. And a husband who comes from work and pats my head and tells me I'm a good girl. At this rate I don't even care if he's fucking a receptionist on the side.

I get it how these are such white woman tears. But fuck I think every woman should have this dream off they WANT without any shame.

I know it's a "grow up this is reality, you're describing something that doesn't exist." WHY CANT IT EXIST. FUCK.

I don't blame feminism. Feminism is amazing and I love her.

I blame classism.

People can't survive on just single home incomes anymore and that's fucked up to me.

"but women had jobs too you're just describing the rich wom-"

Women with jobs were mostly young single women waiting to get married or women who never wanted to get married but needed a liveable income. YES some entire families worked to survive poverty back in the day, I wont disregard that, but FUCK

you would think being so advanced as we are considering we mass produce via machine etc, human life would be "easier" BUT IT ISNT.

And I'm TIRED. I really am. I've been depressed since the day I was born but because it's so normal to me I forget how depressed I am and then feel bad when I burn the fuck out.

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putnamcapital · 1 year ago

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Deep dive wondering about Sara's backstory (CW: drug / alcohol abuse) (Part 1)

CW Drug & Alcohol abuse by a parent

I want to write about Sara and Simon as children who grew in a home damaged by drug and alcohol abuse. I’m going to focus on Sara, because I’m thinking about this in order to get a better insight into why she behaves as she does (for a WIP). People are really hard on her - and sometimes harder on her than on Simon or Wille, even when they do similar things. It makes my heart break for her, because I think she is misunderstood in a number of ways. Full disclosure, though, that I am not looking at this question from the perspective of neuro divergence / autism / ADHD, because I know less about than, um, I think I do about her family dynamic. I’ve split it into two parts because it’s long. I’d love feedback / thoughts, since I’m trying to work out her motivations.

Lying: Sara lies. The worst lie she tells is an omission: she doesn’t tell Simon she knows August filmed the video. But she also lies to Felice about her relationship with August. She lies to August at first about why she doesn’t want to go the ball with him. These are all lies about keeping up appearances; about her being afraid of people finding out what is true. It’s the kind of lie told to a child - often a lie by omission - “your father’s not feeling well today, he’s staying home from work” / “your father must have food poisoning” etc. when really he is passed out drunk or high. The thing about these lies is that both parties end up knowing they’re being told. Kids are smarter than it’s assumed, but they soon learn their role is to play along with the lie, so that they can maintain their role in the family dynamic, which is for everyone to collectively deny what is happening so that the wished-for world can be kept alive (as opposed to the actually-happening-world). A lot of what Sara does fits into this pattern of “i just wont say anything and provided I keep it up, the approved fact pattern will remain in place.” It’s why it took Wille threatening August with a gun for Sara to finally, brutally, have to step out of the lie.

Pretending: Sara isn’t happy at home. She wants to get out. But unlike Simon, who gets out ‘internally’ - by becoming more and more true to himself, and defending his boundaries - Sara tries to get out by changing her family (rather than changing herself). She tries to become one of the Manor House girls - right down to dressing like them, dancing like them, learning to laugh at the right jokes, etc. She’s trying to pass - i.e. she’s doing the same thing she learned at home, and learned as an immigrant - we can pretend everything is okay; she can pretend she really can be one of these rich girls. It’s why one of the most moving scenes to me is when she peeks her eyes open when all the girls are saying grace at the dinner table during her first sleep over, and she just can’t believe what she sees - that she is there, and she sees them, but they don’t see her watching them. It’s a way to heal that moment you can imagine between her, Simon, and her mother, where everyone knows the lies being told about Micke, but no one is going to say it aloud. At the Manor House dining table, though, Sara is briefly the only one who can see that she doesn’t quite fit in her new family. But only briefly - later, they all giggle at her when she makes too much of a fuss about wanting to know how to hypothetically address the Queen.

[part 2 = Watching / Attachment / August relationship]

#young royals #sara eriksson #young royals analysis #simon eriksson #micke eriksson #substance abuse #alcohol abuse

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brandonduhaimes · 2 years ago

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What if (M.B.)

Credits to gif maker

Authors note: thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors im writing from my phone since i left my laptop at work.

Length: 3.8k

Saturday mornings on days Matt didn't have a game were simply the best. This morning he had you pinned under him as a way to keep you from getting up.

"Babe you have to get off your crushing me” you yell out as he whines before rolling over so you can breathe freely again. "You got me all wet with your dripping hair. Next time dry it before laying on me."

"What do you want to do this morning since you wont let me cuddle you?" He sighs with a pout on his lips.

"You are so dramatic sometimes you know that?" You giggle as he pulls you into his side and wraps his arms around your waist.

"I wouldn't have to be if you would just let me lay on you," he sighs dramatically "but no i can't suffocate you lovingly."

"Maybe in a couple years you can, but not today i still have a life to live," you add continuing your fake argument.

"Well Y/N, I hope I get to be a part of that life because you are the one constant I have. Hockey is changing everyday, especially since the trade deadline is coming up."

Boldy wasn't planning on leaving Minnesota but he knows that soon some of the people he cares about most could be gone. He definitely doesn't want you to leave too. "What if we just i don't know moved to Canada or something, escape it all."

"Ah yes canada where no hockey exists and you would be free." He smiles at your comment and kisses your forehead softly.

"You're right that might possibly be the worst place for me to go. One of the teams up there would find me and hold me hostage or something." You both laugh at that and he holds you a little bit tighter "but seriously I love you and I need you with me forever. I don't think that i could move on from you even if i tried."

"I love you too Matt I don't plan on leaving ever." You reach your arm across his stomach trying to pull him even closer.

"Well, then I know what we are doing today!" He says shooting up out of bed leaving you utterly confused.

"And what exactly do you have in mind?" You ask "for someone who didn't want to get up not even five minutes ago you sure did change your mind fast."

"I love you more than I've ever thought possible so with great advice from an icon i am in-fact going to put a ring on it." With that he grabs your arm and drags you out of bed. "Go get in the shower!"

"Matthew you are absolutely the goofiest person Ive ever met." You laugh as he drags you towards the shower.

What you didn't know was that Matt had already picked out the ring, talked to your parents (who were on their way over), and the boys who were all waiting in his front yard.

When you got out of the shower Matt was no where to be found. The only thing proving he was still in the house was the outfit he had placed on your bed. It seemed a little dressy for a Saturday morning but you slipped it on anyways.

You walked down the stairs to find mason brandon and connor in the hallway.

"What are you three doing in my house?" You ask and they just laugh as Connor grabs your hand and escorts you outside. Mason and Brandon follow behind you giggling like school boys.

"We have your first clue." Brandon says as Mason hands you a small handwritten note and your car keys.

You stopped and took a minute to read the note: "It was snowing on the day we met and the roads were horrible. What if you didnt come that day? Would fate have still brought us together if you never showed up?"

The first day you had met Matt was at a fan meeting. He had spent almost forty minutes signing autographs for people when all the sudden he couldn't speak. He was to stunned to talk to the person standing in front of him. He did however manage to write his number on the back of the puck you had brought for him to sign.

"Thanks boys," you say as you get in your car.

"No problem Y/N have fun!" Mason yells before shutting the door for you. As you drive to the X you wonder what you are getting yourself into.

(Matt's POV)

"Are you sure you aren't going to overboard?" Connor asked as he took the note and your car keys.

"I had so many memories with them in the x that it would be weird for me to not make this a part of it. My first hattrick was the night that we went on our first date. That was the best Valentine's day ever for me. I knew that day I had found the love of my life." He reminds him.

"You just wish you had thought of it first dew, let it be." Brandon chirps making everyone laugh quietly so you wouldn't hear them.

"Alright ill see you guys in like an hour for set up. Thank you so much."

With that I got in my car and headed to the florist to pick up the flowers.

(Your POV)

You park and make your way towards the supposed to be vacant building to find Jordan, Hartman, Dumba and Brodin inside the front doors. (the ones on the riverside with the hockey lodge next to it.)

They swing open the doors dramatically and Jordan gives you a hug before ushering you quickly inside and into the hockey lodge. Once inside they handed you bag of your favorite candy and a small note.

You opened the note to read: "what if you had just taken the free tickets and not came down to the locker room after? (Not that i think you are that kind of person though)"

Before you could make your way down Jordan held his arm out "Let me escort you." He says and you laugh at the goofy face he makes. The two of you had hung out with eachother often and were really close friends, so you took his arm.

As the two of you walked he spoke up. "You know Boldy is probably one of the best guys on the planet. You have no idea the difference you make in his life. I haven't seen him this happy in a while. So thank you for that."

"He makes me really happy too. I don't think I could have been more lucky. The schedule is hard but as long as he's happy i wouldn't want any if it to change. He's made me a better person by just being around." You respond and Jordan smiles.

"Thats the best part of finding the one you are meant to be with, it changes both of you for the better and it works no matter what."

You and Jordan finish the walk to locker room laughing and up to your usual antics. He stops outside of the doors "I believe this is your stop. Thank you for choosing big rig trucking."

"Thanks for the escort Greenie." You say before pushing the doors open. Jordan salutes you and you laugh as he walks away.

(Matt's POV)

While I was on my way to the flower shop I called Jordan.

"Remember they would probably walk through the arena so dont let them go alone I don't want the next parts to be ruined."

"You got it I'll make sure to walk them down through the outside offices." He responds.

"Jordan what if they say no? What if its too soon?" I ask starting to think I may have been too early.

"I think that you know when its time." He says, "you were pretty dead set on it last week when you were trying to get coach to approve the day off."

He was right, I knew that it was the right time and its the day of so of course I would be nervous. "You're right Greenie I just got nervous all the sudden, but I have to get to the florists so im gonna let you go."

"Drive safe bolds" he says and we say our goodbyes.

(Your POV)

As you walk through the door you are met with the smiling faces of Sam, Sammy, Adam, Marco and Calen.

"Welcome to the locker room, its not like you haven't been here before but y'know i didnt really know what else to say." Calen says making you laugh as they show you Matt's locker which had a small note on the bench.

It read: "What if you had decided not to go up to the press box with me while we waited for everyone to leave?" Next to the note was a beautiful silver locket with the picture you had taken of the two of you in the press box inside. On the other side it had the words "my happily ever after."

Adam then came up to you and help you put the locket around your neck.

After this Rossi escorted you to the press box. After a few moments, he asked you, "Y/n do you believe in love at first sight?"

"I do." You say, "I think that when you meet the one you are supposed to be with the world stops. Its just you and them in that moment."

"Boldy believes in it too. When he met you and came back down to the locker room after, all he could say was that he had just met the love of his life. We all thought he was crazy. Of course it was Connor and I that were down there and we just hadn't met the one yet." He smiles thinking of his girlfriend. "Now that we've both found them we agree with him."

"I'm glad you found yours Rossi and I'm glad I have mine too." You replied smiling.

You continued walking in a comfortable silence before finally reaching the doors to the press box.

"Well this is where I leave you." He smiles and walks away.

(Matt's POV)

As I leave the florists I call Y/N's dad.

"Hey Matt how are you coming along there? We are done with the set up here, we just need the flowers," he asks.

"I'm on my way now." I respond "Jordan texted me like ten minutes ago saying that he dropped them at the locker room so it should be like 45 minutes still."

"Perfect! It looks like it will all work out perfectly timing wise." He then adds, "I don't know how you came up with this idea but it's amazing. I wish i would have thought of something like this."

"Mr. Y/L/N they don't deserve anything less. They are my entire world and I want to remind them everyday. So if I can go big here it will make it easier for them to remember how much I love them."

"You're a great man Boldy don't ever forget that." Y/D/N says "I'm going to let you go since you are driving and we don't need you injured."

"I'll see you soon Mr. Y/L/N!" I respond and we say our goodbyes.

(Your POV)

As I made my way into the press box I was met by Ekkie, Middsy, Gus, Freddie, Jonny, and Moose.

"Welcome to the press box!" Moose yells making all of you laugh. He guides you over to the radio panel where a small note is waiting for you.

It read: "What if you didn't go skating with me? I was so excited to show you who I am that I didn't even think about how you might not have known how. Im glad you did." On the floor next to the note was a pair of skates. The ones you had worn during your first date and the many after them.

You look out over the ice to see some faces you recognize already waiting for you on the rink. "We thought you might need a couple of escorts to the rink. We wouldn't want you getting lost." Moose says and you laugh as the boys follow you down to the rink.

As you make your way down to the entrance you smile as you find more faces than before. All of the boys you had talked to already had made their way to the rink and were skating to their hearts content. "Y/N?" Moose questions "will you skate with us for a little while?"

"Of course!" You say and laugh as he helps you lace your skates up. As you make your way onto the ice you are ran into by a very happy Mason Shaw.

"Sorry Y/N! I didn't mean to I just wanted to say hi again!" He pulls you into a hug. "What do you think of all this?"

"Its really cool, he really worked hard on this." You reply as reavo also makes his way over. The rest of the boys follow and you stop to chat with Moose and Reavo while the others take turns racing up and down the rink trying to prove who the fastest one is.

"I think its nice to know that I have no chance in winning that. Not with Connor on the ice." Reavo says making both you and Moose laugh.

"I dont know Sammy has a pretty good chance too. I saw him play a lot at the U." You respond

"I agree but in all seriousness, you're probably the luckiest person on earth. Boldy can be sassy but he's so genuine that it almost makes up for it. When he knows something is important he gives 110 percent. Its my favorite quality of his," Moose responds.

"I don't think that they are the lucky one in this situation though, Boldy has found someone who has never given up on him and thats what he's always needed. I dont think most people could make it through the schedule. Y/N watching the two of you get close has been one of my favorite off ice moments. Even if we win the cup this year the whole team will remember today as a day worth celebrating." Reavo says hyping you up.

"I feel like I'm the lucky one here he has an amazing support system with you guys around. I'm just glad to be a part of it." You say as Reavo and Moose pull you into a hug. Mason Connor and Brandon notice and soon you are in a group hug with about 20 other guys.

After that you are met with a line of guys all waiting with a flower in hand. One by one each skates up and gives you a hug and the flower. A beautiful red rose just like the flowers Matt had gotten you on the night of your first date. At the end of the long line was the ever wonderful Jared Spurgeon. He handed you the last flower before you noticed that all of the boys except he, goose, Fleury, Kirill, and Mats had made their way out of the arena.

"We have one last note for you." Mats says, "the rest you have to do on your own."

You take the note from him and giggle as you read: "Hopefully this has been a fun little outing for you. I have one last question though. What if you hadn't agreed to move in with me this year? I spent a long time trying to figure out how I want to live my life and I hope you and I have similar plans. Maybe you can meet me at the house?"

"One last escort okay with you?" Jared asks, "I figured I would know the fastest way out of here since I've been here a while."

You smile and take his arm. He walks with you to the front doors before handing you one last thing. "Boldy asked me to give you this. He says its really important that you listen to it on the way back."

"Thanks Jared. I appreciate you walking me back." You respond taking the CD from his hands.

"My car was here so it worked out well." He smiles at you. As you turn to get into your car you hear "One final thing Y/N"

You turn around to look at him again "yes?"

"He really does love you. I think that you are one of the few things keeping him going these days. The season can be long but its easier when you have someone to come to. Remembering how I felt when I first started this job makes me really glad that he found you. He's matured since he met you and he fights for what he believes in now. His confidence is way better with you around so thank you."

"Thank you Jared, I think that we balance each other well. He's made me who I want to be and I plan on being around for a while," you respond.

"Well get on home! He's waiting." Jared says and you smile as you get into your car.

Jared was gone before you even had your seatbelt buckled but, before you left you turned on the CD that Matt made.

You laughed as Kid in Love by Shawn Mendes started playing. Matt had listened to you play it on your guitar many times and you smiled remembering the day you caught him singing it in the kitchen.

As you drove, more songs that you both loved played, making the drive seem way to quick. While you were excited to see what the rest of the day had in store you couldn't help but hope the drive continued.

As you made your way up the drive way you smiled to see the garage door already open. You parked and made your way inside to be greeted by your puppy Jax. Even with the crazy actions of the six month old puppy you didn't miss the note taped to his collar.

"Jax sit." The puppy stopped and sat waiting patiently for your next words. You grabbed the note from his collar and smiled as you read: "Can you let me outside please? Dad wouldn't let me go out with out you."

"Lets go outside Jax!" With that the little puppy went back to the jumping and overly excited animal you were used to. He lead you to the back door tail wagging and barking loudly.

(Matt's POV)

Jax alerted us that Y/N was inside which meant that my plan worked. I stood outside next to the tree that we had spent the night dancing under when we first moved here.

As Y/N walked out the back door I froze. They were perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I spent all morning getting this ready and I couldn't figure out what to do next. "Well hi Matt, how was your morning?" Y/N smiled at me as they came up to me.

"Mine was pretty busy." I say laughing, "how was yours?"

"Pretty crazy honestly. The love of my life set up the most beautiful morning for me and let me get to know his teammates who are wonderful escorts by the way."

"Im glad that they took care of you well." I responded smiling, "I hope that maybe I can do better than they did though."

(Your POV)

"How do you plan on doing that? Moose is a pretty smooth talker." You crack a smile and that seems to break the tension as he laughs as well.

"Will you go on a walk with me Y/N?" He whispers "I've got something to show you."

"Of course I will." You reply and with that he takes your hand and walks down to your dock. At the end is a beautiful set up with candles and flowers. Not to mention the roses leading all the way down the dock.

You smile as he leads you to the end. He stops and you can feel his hands shaking from nerves. You knew what was coming but waited, pretending not to notice your parents and siblings watching on the beach with his family and the rest of the team.

"Y/N I've spent the last few years getting to know you and I couldn't imagine spending any of the years ahead with out you." He takes a deep breath and continues. "I want to be there when you are sick and can't get out of bed. I want to be there on the days when the kids are being loud because they have friends over and the days after those when you are cranky in the morning because you didn't get any sleep. I want you to be there for me when I get another hattrick and I want you to be there for family skates and I want you to be with me forever."

He stops and gets down on one knee before finishing. "I want to be there on your wedding day. I want to take your hand after your dad walks you down the aisle. So with that being said, will you marry me?"

You smile as the tears start to fall slowly. "Matt I want to be there with you when our kids have their first day of school. I want to be there when you hit one thousand games. I want to be there to watch you break records. I want to be there when you can't find the back of the net. I want to be there when you are injured and when you go back to playing after injury." You take a deep breath as you feel the pressure in your chest release. "Yes I will marry you."

With those words said, cheers erupt from the beach as Matt picks you up and spins you around in a tight hug. He places his lips on yours and dips you backwards. You hold him tightly and smile through the kiss trying not to to chuckle as Connor Mason and Brandon make endless noise. Boldy then stood you up and placed the ring he had bought you on your finger before taking your hand. The rest of the younger boys joined in the cheering as you and Matt's parents sat quietly holding each other with tears in their eyes.

From the beach you hear Jared taking over dad role and yelling at all of them to stop rilling up the dog who had somehow managed to tackle Dumba. Both Jax and Dumba seemed to be okay with this though.

You make your way back up to shore and you notice that Dean Evason had also been standing on the beach. "The Minnesota Wild have one more gift for you." He states and hands you and Matt both a package. You opened them together to find matching Jerseys. Both with the name Boldy on them with the numbers 22-23 on the back.

In yours was a small note that said: congratulations to the two of you may this lead to many happy years ahead.

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