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spencerspecifics · 4 years ago

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Okay yes hi hello this is me gracing y’all with my writing Bc I’ve had this idea forever!! This is going to be multiple chapters, here is chapter two. Enjoy :)

Technical Analyst (ch.1)

Short description: Spencer works as a technical analyst alongside Garcia and Kevin, though he hasn’t ever really worked directly with the BAU team, he works more in filing and researching. But when Garcia goes on vacation leave, and Kevin is busy with his own work, Spencer steps up to help- and that’s when he meets Derek Morgan.

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Spencer hated technology. He hated computers, tablets, cell phones, he hated it all. He hated everything and anything that isn’t on printed onto paper. So how the fuck did he end up as a technical analyst- whose entire job was based around proficient use of technology? In very short, budget cuts.

He originally worked in domestic terrorism, though he never fit in well there. He was a good worker, fast and able to do a lot. But his coworkers never let him feel included. He would hear them make plans without him, ignore him in conversations, only reaching out to him for his great memory to help solve a case. It was dehumanizing. He was just a brain for them, nothing more.

Then, the budget cuts came. And he got removed from the team, as he had the least amount of hours in the field- which wasn’t his fault. The rest of his team always forced him into the research position, so while they were off chasing the bad guys, he was stuck researching with a computer he doesn’t trust.

So yeah, he wasn’t an asset to them. But the bureau knew a mind like his in general was an asset, a fountain they’d like to keep a tap on. So they made work for him. It was mostly menial. He would assist with intense cases when necessary, but even then it was just research. No one knew what he would be like in the field, because they never gave him the chance.

Spencer tried not to think about how unfair this was, how stupid and purely tedious it was. He would rather be working as a T.A. at this point- which wouldn’t even be that bad. At least he gets heard and seen then.

Spencer’s normal day consists of going from his apartment to the bureau building, to directly into his cramped little office that was about the size of a jumbo walk in closet. A nice size to store clothes, but not so nice when you have to have a person, a desk, a chair, three computer monitors, two filing cabinents, a trash can, a fax machine, and a printer all crammed in there.

Yeah, his workplace was entirely too small. Thankfully it didn’t impact his ability to work, though, most the time Spencer finished his work quickly; and would end up reading. Spencer didn’t venture out from his office that much at all, (he always brought his own coffee so he didn’t have to worry about bugging the field agents.) the exception to leaving his office was to go across the hall to Penelope Garcia, his only sort of friend that he had at work. She was always so bubbly, it was a breath of relief for him to go see her- she reminded him of all the positive things, he definitely couldn’t do the job without her.

Not to mention, she had to train him from starting point zero. Spencer hated technology, after all. So he never made an effort to learn coding, hacking, how to re-route and track things. He knew nothing like that, hell, he struggles with his cellphone turning on sometimes.

Thankfully, she was able to get some sense into him, and he was pretty good at what he could do. Though he was still working out python coding, he was enjoying the learning process of using technology.

That being said- he still despises technology, and he hopes that once he leaves the job, he can throw away his very unnecessary but work mandated laptop.

Spencer made his way into the bureau building, messenger bag slung over his shoulder awkwardly as a thermos of coffee was held tightly in his right hand, while the left one reached for the door handle to enter. He got in no problem, security didn’t stop him anymore, thankfully. Though in the beginning, they did check him constantly, verifying that he belonged there. After all, he looked young, and he definitely didn’t belong in the bureau building. But then again, Garcia didn’t look like she belonged there either.

Security just made presumptions about people, he shrugged that thought off as he made his way to the elevator. Thankfully no one else was in there, he pressed the button for floor six, and the elevator doors shut.

The elevator whirred to life, taking him up to the sixth floor slowly. Thankfully today was a slow day, there wasn’t really any important case he had to work on. (Not like he ever really got given cases to work on, anyways.) So Spencer was hoping he would be able to finish his work quickly, as he had some books he brought with him that he wanted to read and re-read before the day was finished.

The elevator dinged, a signal it had reached its necessary location, before the doors finally slid back. He stepped out, taking his usual left down the hallway immediately. Forward through the glass doors was the bullpen with the agents who worked in the BAU. And god, what he wouldn’t give to be a field agent, working as a profiler. That’s why he wanted to join the bureau, and yet he was so close- his office only down the hall. But he was simultaneously so far, not being trusted by all the bureaucratic bosses, who didn’t know if he would be a good agent to warrant being put out into the field.

He hated it, but he tried not to think about it as he reached his office, Garcia’s door was shut, she was on vacation, or so he had heard. Spencer pulled on his office door, entering with ease as he moved into the cramped workspace.

Spencer sat his messenger bag down onto his desk, sitting himself down in his office chair and taking a minute to breathe in and out before continuing. Spencer hated this job. It was mind numbingly boring, he was so close to quitting. He knew the bureau would fight tooth and nail to keep him, however, but if that was the case, why not give him a better job- he didn’t want a nicer office, he wanted to help people.

He sighed, today was just one of those days where he was extra mad about not being treated right, he tried to ignore this thought process as he got ready to work; setting his coffee down by his computer mouse to his right, setting his messenger bag onto the floor next to him, pulling off the scarf that was wrapped loosely around his neck and hanging it over the back of his chair. Now he was ready for the day.

Penelope didn’t mean to forget to tell the team that she was going to be gone- she assumed they knew. At least Hotch did, all the rest of them knew was that she was going to take a week off to relax, they just didn’t know when (she had too many vacation days saved up, so she had to use them or lose them. She chose the former.) It was just a total brain fart moment on her part, so while she decided to hit up her favorite stores, spas, and websites; the team had no idea, they assumed she was holed up in her office, hacking away at whatever she normally does.

This would only show itself when Derek needed her, calling her office number and it going to voicemail “Hi, this is Penelope Garcia with the FBI and I’m too awesome to come to the phone right now, if it’s an urgent matter please call Aaron Hotchner-“ yeah, Derek hung up his phone by then, deciding to call her personal cell.

“Hi, hot chocolate!” She answered cheerfully, the sounds of people talking and laughing could be heard in the background, which Derek took note of. “Babygirl- your work phone sent me to voicemail, where are you?” Garcia was quiet for a second, before practically blowing Morgan’s eardrums out; “Oh- damnit! I knew I was forgetting something!” “Care to fill me in?” He asked her curiously, “Yes-“ Garcia sighed before continuing on, “Sorry. I’m taking those vacation days Hotch told me I had to use or else I’d lose.”

“So you’re not at the office.” He stated, “That I am not, I’m sorry I forgot to tell you! But my pal Spencer Reid should be covering for me.” “Spencer Reid?” Derek asked, unfamiliar with that person, “Why not kevin?” “Ugh, I don’t know- he’s doing that thing where he’s actually busy with other work for once. But Spencer is good, I taught him everything he knows- and I’m pretty sure he’s got three PhDs, so yeah, you replaced one genius with another- so don’t worry!” “Okay, well...” Derek took a second, “You sure I can ask Spencer about everything I’d ask you?” He meant work related, within being able to hack and get everything that Garcia would be able to get. Because Morgan knew that her talents were very special, and having someone else replicate them seemed near impossible, so he was a bit hesitant to trust someone new.

“Oh yeah- he’ll find everything easy peasy lemon squeezy. Don’t worry yourself, sugar.” “Okay, thank you mama. Have a good week of rest.” “I will! I have an appointment for a spa, and oh my god Derek- they do a seaweed wrap thing, isn’t that crazy?” “So you’re gonna get rolled up like sushi?” “No! Ew! Don’t compare me to raw fish!”

The phone call continued for a bit after that, as Derek wasn’t in an urgent matter. It was just a filing day at the office, before he hung up he asked where Spencer was, though; “Oh, he’s in the office next to mine, across the hall!” Garcia told him happily. Derek had thought that was a storage closet, but he didn’t tell her- instead thanking her and hanging up.

Now to pay this mystery computer whiz a visit.

Spencer was in the middle of re-routing a bunch of information that Garcia needed to send to her boss, Aaron Hotchner. Spencer didn’t share the same boss, since he was technically working in a more basic division of the bureau, he instead answered to Strauss- which was a royal pain in the ass, but he always turned his work in on time, came in when needed, he had never had to face her wrath yet, thankfully.

Spencer typed away, trying to get all the data to get to Hotchner as quickly as possible so he didn’t have to wait, though it wasn’t crucial the work did get completed right now. Spencer just liked to get things done.

A knock sounded Spencer out of his methodical typing, it wasn’t Garcia, obviously. And he knew Kevin was in a meeting right now with some IT people over his keyboard acting funky (Kevin could fix it by himself, but office administration forced him into talking to IT.)

“Yes?” Spencer asked curiously, turning around in his office chair, because he had no clue who it was that could be interrupting his work. The door pushed open, revealing a tall, classically handsome, muscular man carrying some files in his hands. Fuck, that would be Spencer’s luck. An attractive guy swooping in and making his IQ of one hundred and eighty seven go down to sixty in two second flat

“Hi- you Spencer?” The man asked, stepping forward into the cramped office. Spencer stood up instinctively, “Yes, I am. How can I help you?” The man handed the files over awkwardly, “I’m sorry, I usually ask Penelope Garcia for this but she’s on vacation and she referred me to you- I just need these put through VICAP, I’m not too familiar with the system as a whole, ‘cause Garcia usually handles it.”

Spencer nodded, taking the files and looking through them briefly, there were nine of them. “I’m sorry, I know that’s a lot of work to do... I’m sure I can figure it out myself-“ Derek started, doing his best to apologize. Little did he know Spencer could get this done within an hour or so.

“Oh no- not a problem at all, this should only take me about an hour, two at most, but that’s a generous estimate.” Derek raised his eyebrows, “An hour or two? Garcia usually finishes up this many files within three or four. How are you able to get this done faster than her?”

“I have an eidetic memory, which helps me recall anything that I read. I can read these files once and put all the information into VICAP knowing it’s accuracy is one hundred percent without having to double check, that cuts down my speed by half per case file.”

Derek looked confused and shocked. Yeah, Spencer could understand why. “Sorry, um. That’s a weird explanation, but it shouldn’t take me as long. I’m assuming you’re out in the bullpen?” Spencer asked him, putting the files down atop his keyboard.

“Yeah, I’m Derek Morgan with the BAU.” Derek finally introduced himself, reaching his hand out. Shit, this was Derek Morgan? Garcia has mentioned him a few times to Spencer, saying he’d love him “oh he’s so handsome, but so sweet and loving, like the hottest man on earth- I’d marry him in a heartbeat, but we don’t roll like that, Y’know?” That’s how she described him once, and of course Spencer remembered that word for word. Spencer felt like it was just his luck, that his only work colleague was best friends with a man so attractive that his mind isn’t working fully.

Not to mention he was in the BAU, Spencer guessed he was, since Garcia was their technical analyst. But still, it would be just his luck to know this insanely attractive man was part of the team he wanted to belong to so bad. Spencer wasn’t sure how to respond as he kept his composure. After all, yeah, Derek was attractive. But they probably wouldn’t speak again after this exchange. It wasn’t worth Spencer thinking about him, or how Garcia described him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t shake. But it’s nice to meet you, I’ll find you once I’m done. If you need anymore help, feel free to let me know.” Spencer told him, looking back at the files on his desk as a distraction away from this hot guy that was just standing so calmly in his office, as if Spencer ever had any visitors into the cramped space besides Garcia and Kevin.

By the time spencer looked back up, Derek’s arm was back down by his side. “Okay, thank you.”

Derek was surprised by their exchange, to say the least. How did he not know about this genius before? How was he not more well known, a memory thing, three PhD’s- that would be a useful asset? How come he was hidden away in a closet sized office? He had to know more. Even if it was nosy and stupid.

Normally, he’d call Garcia and ask her if it was about an employee. But in this case, he couldn’t. And he couldn’t go to Spencer, that would be weird.

So, he did the next best thing. He asked Hotch.

He knocked slowly on Hotchner’s door, hoping he wasn’t going to tell him to mind his business and not ask about employee facts when they definitely were irrelevant.

Derek was smart though, he figured out a foolproof way to play this. So when Hotch said, “Yes?” He came in, starting his plan into motion.

“Hotch, where’s Garcia?” He asked him, as if Derek hadn’t immediately checked up on his babygirl when he couldn’t find her. “Oh,” Hotch started, setting a file down that he had been looking over, “She took some vacation time.”

“So, who am I supposed to go to for computer help?” Derek asked, “Well,” Hotchner started, matter of factly, while he reached for a thin, unopened file on his desk. “We have a new guy helping us. Kevin’s busy with helping the child abduction unit reset their computers, as well as he’s in an IT meeting right now, so we have..” Hotch stopped, looking down to read the name off the file; “Doctor Spencer Reid. I’m sure he’ll be just as good.”

“Hotch. No ones as good as Garcia.” Derek pointed out, Hotch shrugged. “Maybe not. But this guy has a glowing personal history- and Garcia told me she taught him everything he knows.”

“What’s his personal history?” Derek asked curiously, stepping a bit closer but still trying to play nonchalance. “You know I’m not able to disclose that. You can go ask him for yourself.” Derek sighed. Of course Hotch wasn’t gonna tell him shit. He should’ve expected this. But sue him, call him hopeful. He was hoping he could’ve gotten some information on this mysterious doctor.

Derek made his defeated way back to his desk in the bullpen. And Emily, whose desk was directly across from his, immediately noticed his slight annoyance at Hotch. So she asked in a hushed voice as soon as he sat down;

“Did you get yelled at by Hotch?” Because in her mind, that was the most logical explanation that made the most sense. Derek just shook his head as a response, “No,” he clarified, “I was asking about our Garcia fill-in, and Hotch wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“Garcia fill-in? She’s gone?” Emily asked confusedly looking back to the hallway that led to Penelope’s office, as if she’d magically appear. “Yeah, but just for the week.” Derek explained, “She’s using those vacation days she had saved up. And Kevin isn’t our standby, ‘cause he’s busy. Instead it’s some new guy.”

“Who?” Prentiss asked, this time she was curious. And as if on cue, Dr. Spencer Reid came through the glass doors, and into the bullpen, carrying Morgan’s stack of files.

“Him.” Morgan pointed back simply as a response as he waved Spencer over.

To say Spencer felt out of his element by being in the BAU bullpen was an understatement, he felt like a fish out of water. Like he was suffocating and everything around him was too much.

He purposely avoided the bullpen, first reason being because he didn’t have any work with the BAU. But the second reason was he knew if he stepped in, he’d be more upset that he couldn’t be on the team. And the last thing he wanted to do was make his job worse for himself.

But, this experience was an outlier. And though Spencer can remember almost anything and everything, he planned on doing his best to purposely forget all of this. Every last detail.

He wasn’t going to let himself remember how there were field agents with real life guns holstered at their sides, how they were all sitting casually, looking over cases and drinking coffee, how they had the title of SSA (he only had SA, which he still was bitter about.), and then how at a moments notice they could fly away in a jet. How astonishing their work is, how jealous he is.

But Spencer entered through the glass doors nonetheless, looking around quickly before seeing Derek wave him over. Derek was sat at his desk, talking to a woman whose head was turned away from Spencer, all he could see was that she was his desk mate, and that she had black hair.

Spencer made his way over at a brisk pace, he just needed to get in and out. If he stayed for too long, he’d let himself remember to much.

“Hey, I- I got these into VICAP no problem,“ Spencer started as he handed Derek the case files, “But I noticed some errors on the date stamping on when you found the unsub so I corrected it myself, I hope you don’t mind.”

Derek shook his head casually, “Not a problem at all, I have a habit of messing that up. Thanks doc.” Fuck, ‘doc’? Spencer hadn’t been called ‘doctor’ in months, let alone ‘doc’. This was turning into a tailspin moment for him as he smiled awkwardly, feeling a blush rising to his face, he wasn’t sure what else to do. But he wanted to get out of there.

Thankfully, the woman with black hair introduced herself, as once he had rounded the corner to see Derek, he also saw her face. She was pretty, and had bangs. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Emily Prentiss.” She reached her hand over to shake Reid’s expectantly, “Oh I-“ Reid started, hands down at his sides, he wasn’t going to move them.

“He doesn’t shake, Prentiss.” Derek explained casually, “Oh,” Emily said, dropping her hand down, “Sorry! It’s still good to meet you, though. So I hear you’re covering for Garcia?” She asked Spencer, who nodded as he pushed a piece of hair back behind his ear.

“Yeah she’s taking vacation time, and Kevin is currently busy with helping the child abduction unit. So I’ll be you technical analyst for the next week or so.”

“I’m sorry, but how long have you been with the bureau? You look really young. I don’t mean to be rude I’m just-“ “You’re really asking him the rudest possible question, though, huh?” Derek joked to her, and she just smacked him on the arm lightly before turning her attention back to Spencer.

“No you’re fine to ask I- um, I’ve been with the bureau a year and a half, but originally I was on the domestic terrorism field unit.” He explained shortly, he didn’t wanna go into how he got on the bureau to begin with, or how he left the domestic terrorism unit. All he wanted to do was have this conversation end, or else it would just be that much harder to forget.

“Domestic terrorism? So how do you end up doing technical analyst work?” Derek butted in curiously, up until now it has been Prentiss asking all the questions.

Spencer stayed quiet for a moment, before finally responding, “If you need anything else, my office is next to Garcia’s. It’s been nice meeting you, Emily.” All he gave to Derek was a curt nod before walking out at the brisk pace he had entered with.

“Wow, well you fucked that up.” Prentiss spoke to Derek once she saw Spencer exiting through the glass doors, and turning down the hallway.

He sighed and rolled his eyes at her, “I’m just curious about him, can you blame me?” Emily just chuckled softly in return, shaking her head as she turned her chair around to face him more head on.

“Are you curious about him because he’s cute, or because he’s replacing Garcia for the week?” Derek blinked at her in surprise; “I never said he was cute.” He protested, more confused than anything else.

“You didn’t say it, but your body language did. You think he’s cute. You called him ‘doc’ and he almost blushed, and I have a feeling you’re gonna try and call him ‘doc’ again to see that same result- and you watched him the entire time, even if I was talking.”

“You think random bureau agents are cute all the time, what’s it matter?” Derek rebutted, trying to deflect and ignore, because Prentiss wasn’t making sense. Derek wasn’t attracted to Spencer, he didn’t think he was cute. Spencer’s level of attractiveness had nothing to do with his curiosity.

Derek did have a right to be curious for other reasons, anyways. This guy was replacing Garcia for a bit. It made sense Derek would wanna know more about the guy, even if he was or wasn’t attractive.

“Yeah, I find agents cute. But I don’t go asking Hotch about them.” Prentiss said with a smirk, Derek just shot her a glare. “I asked Hotch because he’s replacing Garcia. And I’ve not heard of the guy before.”

“Whatever you say, man.” Was all Emily replied with as she turned back to her work, Derek just rolled his eyes at her again before turning to his own computer.

Okay, so he knew Spencer was in domestic terrorism. It couldn’t hurt to just search it up, right? It wasn’t anything classified, he’d be able to see it, Derek hoped. He wasn’t meaning to be nosy, but he was just so curious and confused. He just had to know more.

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103 notes · View notes

spade-riddles · 4 years ago

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"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

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exclamaquest · 4 years ago

Note

I'm going to say right off the bat that I am not actually too heated about this, I just thought it might be interesting to talk about if you're willing. If this is getting on your nerves just say so and I will never ask you about your Tsumugi take again. After all we are in the end just strangers chatting about a game :) ( I am so sorry to flood your inbox but now I'm committed to this so. Ignore the others if you want to! Also this is old news but I couldn't send for a few days so here I go.)

I would like to point out that Tsumugi, in canon, shares similarities with Hifumi (fiction>reality & fandom active). They were both played off as just weebs, except for Tsumugi's masterminding. Canonically, Hifumi would be as likely to be a gross creepy fan as Tsumugi- but obviously, thats dumb as shit and he deserves better. The thing im having difficulty understanding is why you would disregard canon's nonsense when it concerns Hifumi, but emphasize that aspect in your perception of Tsumugi.

If the masterminding is what villifies her, I could bring up Junko again or point to the ambiguity of the mm role- between V3's convoluted 'none of it was real!' and your clear apathy towards strict canon (which i totally support), I do not see a reason you wouldnt apply similar logic to that you used on the other characters I mentioned to Tsumugi instead of writing her off as a gross fujoshi or whatever. Im not trying to make you like her, but it seems unfair to reduce her to the worst possible traits she could have when you have expanded on and humanized so many other dr characters. (ugh i had to split the last paragraph into 2. im so sorry about that)

response under the cut bc this sucker got LONGGGGG

first off no need to apologize! i love discussion & dialogue and you bring up some good points! it's true i haven't talked about her in a very positive light on my blog, and that i've reduced her publicly. i HAVE done a lot of thinking about her and i agree that like.. i haven't expressed it on my blog as much as i have in private GKDSKGDS and mainly that's because like...i just don't think she's interesting. yes, she's complicated like any other dr character but she just...doesn't interest me. like, hifumi interests me because of the fanon him vs the canon him and how they differ rather strikingly.

however for tsumugi like...i can't really see a disconnect other than some people making her Only Evil and Only Ever Evil when in reality she's...very much being hurt by danganronpa too and she doesn't really grasp the full consequences of her own actions bc of it being normalized etc in the world she grew up in + her fandom-y lens, and you're right, it's a LOT like how Hifumi sees things through his lens of his special interest but also. he had moments where you saw through that shit to his genuine self. tsumugi...doesn't get that.

which i understand is partially because of her whole ough im so plain schtick but also like. they do manage to make some background characters interesting! like rantaro! you don't learn a lot about him and he dies really quickly but he's still compelling and you WANT to learn more about him. tsumugi is just...painfully uninteresting.

and honestly? i think she was a shit mastermind choice. again i realize im a hypocrite coming from a standpoint of liking junko, but i really dont think she makes a good mastermind. which i know is part of the point of her being the mastermind in the first place, but much like a LOT of v3's overarching themes, it falls flat. it really feels there's no real compelling reason for her to enact this other than she likes danganronpa etc etc etc and that she's got Fandom Brainrot (like a lot of the fans). idk.

and on the junko point--even without me changing her for personal interest, junko was ALREADY an interesting character. That foundation is necessary. If i find tsumugi boring, i cant ever expand upon her because it will always be boring to me, yknow?

and like again like...i DO try to see her as a fleshed out human--and i have tried to flesh her out. she's just...still uninteresting to me. and im sorry if it seemed like i hadnt, i just dont really tend to talk in depth about the characters that i find uninteresting

to sum it up sorry if my jokes seemed like my genuine interpretation of her character /gen, i have thought about her at length and i really just kinda don't like her for a whole lot of reasons but also me being petty GKDSKGDS i do appreciate the essay tho it's given me some stuff 2 think about & feel free 2 talk to me at any time i love writing shit like this even when it takes an assload of time.

#theo.ask #anon #danganalysis #dr #tsumugi shirogane

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shaydixons · 6 years ago

Text

skam remakes survey results!

in total i have 248 responses! there were only a few i had to delete (like people who only watched one remake and then voted for that one remake as their favorite- kind of not the point of the poll. stuff like that)

below is a rundown of the results!!!

part 1: demographics

the vast majority were 19-24 (48.6%) or 15-18 (39.2%) and just 8.2% aged 25 and above, and 4.1% under 15.

vast majority were female, 9.4% nonbinary, and 4.5% male.

most people who took the poll were bi/pan (53.7%), with a lot of lesbians also (29.5%), some questioning (4.9%), some gay (3.7%) and a few straight people (3.7%). also some asexual people, which, whoops i forgot to put that as an option but there were only a few.

part 2: viewership

the most viewed among people who took the poll: skamfr season 3, skam austin season 1, druck season 1, skamfr season 1, skamnl season 1, and skam spain season 1.

the least viewed was wtfock season 1.

for future seasons people are going to watch: the most common answer was skam spain season 2! followed by druck season 3, skam france season 4, and skam austin season 2. only 21% of people plan to watch skam italia season 3.

part 3: opinions

the most popular eva was isa!!! by a LOT!!!! followed by emma (23%), megan (12.3%), Hanna (9.1%), Eva (Spain) (8.2%), and Eva (Italia) (4.9%). no one chose jana.

the least popular eva is italian eva with 25.8%, followed by megan with 24.5%, then Hanna, then Jana, then Emma, then Eva (Spain), and a very small amount (2 people) chose Isa as their least favorite. (the other tiny slivers are all people saying they can’t choose!)

the most popular jonas is yann with 38.3%!!!! followed by gio (19.3%), jorge (16.9%), Jonas Druck (15.6%), then Kes (9.1%), and 2 people (0.8%) for Marlon. No one for Jens.

by FAR the least popular jonas is marlon! also very unpopular is Jonas Druck with 21%, and Gio with 8%. the other ones are pretty marginal but yann had 12 votes, kes had 9 votes, jens had 5 and jorge had 3.

shay is the most popular isak by a LOT (47.5%)!!!! also popular are lucas france (20.9%) and Matteo (16.8%). followed by lucas spain (8.2%), Lucas Netherlands (3.3%) and Martino (2.9%). just one vote for Robbe (WTFock).

by far the least popular isak is martino (62.9%)!!!! followed by robbe with 11.4%, then lucas france with 8.3%, then Lucas Netherlands with 7%. Just 5 votes for Lucas Spain and no votes for Shay!

the most popular noora is liv (37.9%), followed by manon (28.3%), then mia (17.9%), then Nora (10.4%), then Eleonora and Grace (2.5% each), then Zoë with one vote (0.4%).

the least popular noora is grace with 47.2%, then Eleonora with 23.8%, then Mia with 13.4%, then Zoë with 8.2%, then Manon with 5.2%, then Nora with 2.2%. No votes for Liv!

the most popular sana is amira druck (42.3%), then Zoya (22.8%), then Imane (20.3%), then Amira Spain (8.7%), then Imaan (5%), and one vote each for white sana and Yasmina (WTFock).

i think this is the most unanimous out of all the questions!!! daphné won by FAR with nearly 3/4 of votes (73.7%)!!!! after daphné is engel (11.5%), then Kiki (5.8%), and Kelsey (4.5%), Viri (3.3%), and finally Silvia with only 1.2%.

the least popular vilde is kiki (33.6%), then Kelsey (22.7%), Silvia (17.5%), Viri (14%), Engel (7.4%), Amber (3.9%), and Daphné had just 2 votes (0.9%)

the most popular chris is jo (35%), then alexia (27.6%), then Cris (21%), then Sam (9.1%), then Janna (6.6%), and just 2 votes (0.8%) for Fede.

fede is the least popular by more than half!!! followed by janna (15.1%), luca (12.4%), Sam (6.4%), Jo (4.6%), Cris (2.8%), and Alexia (1.8%).

the remake people thought was objectively the best: Skam Spain is the most popular with 27.3%, followed closely by Skam Netherlands with 24.8%, then Skam France (17.6%), and Druck (17.2%). 8% for Skam Austin and only 1.7% for Skam Italia. No votes for WTFock.

honestly probably most people chose the same for these two questions, but anyway the results are slightly different. skam france is the most popular (25.9%), then skam spain (19.7%), then skam netherlands (18.8%), then Druck (15.9%), then Austin (15.5%), and Italia (4.2%). no votes for wtfock.

okay so the most popular answer to this one by far was shay!!!!!! other popular answers were eliott, matteo, cris, isa, jo, emma, and lucas (france).

best soundtrack: most popular answer was skam netherlands (35.5%), followed closely by druck (32.5%). then skam france (13.9%), then austin (7.4%), then spain (6.1%), then italia (0.9%). no votes for wtfock.

the most popular answer was skam netherlands (37.8%)! followed by skam france (22.6%), then italia (18.3%), then druck (10.4%), then austin (6.5%), then spain (2.2%). no votes for wtfock.

skam netherlands won again with 37.6%! followed by druck (17.3%), france (15.9%), austin (14.2%), spain (8.4%), and italia (4%). no votes for wtfock.

part 4: long answers

Question 1: Do you think any of the remakes have outdone the original in any way? If so, which, and why?

okay so there were a few people who said something along the lines of “nothing will ever beat the original” but other than that: people said the remakes with more poc + wlw rep, and specifically mentioned skam spain, skam austin and skam netherlands a lot. here are a selection of the responses:

Austin for making Shay their 'Isak'. España for giving the second season for lesbian (?) Cris instead of Noorhell. France in the social media department, especially ig stories.

Spain; it is so kind & loving to its characters, which i think means a lot in a show that is supposed to be about LOVE

I really like the way skam españa handled Lucas coming out! It was very different from the original and shows that you can come out without having had to find a boyfriend! And they’re showing their (now openly) gay character recognising that gay culture exists and actively takes part of it! I’m over all impressed by skam españa. The way they handled Eva’s insecurity without actually having had Jorge hide anything bad from her. Them deciding to break up for their own best (and me thinking that after growing as their own person they will find their way back to each other). I really liked that they didn’t have break up-sex, I never liked that part in OG or any of the remakes.

I think Skam España was better than the og in terms of narrative tightness (although let's be real every s1 has been well done and narratively tight just because they're based on such a great season)-- making Eva actively choose to hang out with Jorge over the girl squad during the long weekend, having the central conflicts actually centered on her female friendships by having Viri betray her instead of Lucas, having the season that explores gay themes be centered around a girl in the girl squad rather than an abrupt change to a boy (girls can be gay! who would've thunk!). Also Skam Netherlands made Isa a much more active participant in her story earlier on than other remakes... not entirely sure this is better done but it is a refreshing new characterization of her that I liked! Also their soundtrack is better done, maybe. Also Druck has definitely outdone the og in terms of hating wlw their powerful misogynistic minds (':

skam austin is so much more hilarious than the og like its comedy is sheer gold

France in terms of cinematography and I feel also like they want to develop the characters more, Spain because they will focus on more things other than noorhell :)

Question 2: What has impressed you about each of the remakes? What has failed to impress you?

So this one was pretty mixed, but the most popular answer was definitely more diverse casting + inclusion of wlw and a bunch of people mentioned david as well. a lot of people said that skam italia failed to impress them because of whitewashing. a lot of people said that none of the remakes have succeeded in making noorhelm palatable, though many also said that winterberg was an improvement from noorhelm. people really liked the remakes that have mixed things up in terms of plot. a lot of people mentioned that girl chris is much improved in the remakes because she didn’t have very much character/story in the original. a few people mentioned not liking skam france because it’s unrealistic / too dramatic. here are some responses:

Impressed me: The new interpretations of the characters in ways that are familiar, yet makes them unique. Cool new insights into the cultures of different countries. Ways they've been able to increasingly diversify the original cast of the show. Making characters in the girl squad explicitly not straight. Giving the girl squad greater roles in their show. Unimpressed: erasing important parts of characters' identities from the original (i.e., making Chris characters skinny, whitewashing nonwhite characters). Unexcused misogyny and racism. The fact that no Skams except for Skam Austin and Skam France and Maybe Skamesp have been able to really grasp what makes Vilde a likable character. The decreased importance of Sana's role in season 1 in some remakes.

druck - failed to impress - s1 is so boring and if s2 was a person they'd probably send me to a conversion camp

france was impressive for stepping up from -4 to 100 in just one season and unimpressive is every time they make a new vagnus despite it being really irrelevant even in the og :( and when they keep the whole “are you sure your not a lesbian” @ noora in every remake bc it serves no purpose it was gross in the og but even grosser in the remakes bc they think they really have to keep that in even though it was not a plot point in og.. just a unfair joke it’s disappointing :(

I am literally physically unable to even casually check out Skam Italia because of white sana

skam españa said FUCK noorhelm and i respect that! also druck kinda sucks for how colossally they fail at trying to be woke. i dont watch skam italia but fuck them for whitewashing sana lmao

skam france - the tenderness of elu and them having hands

impressed by: - SKAM Austin being the only remake where Isak character is a girl; - SKAM Spain pulling a power move of the century and replacing a noorhell season with an original wlw one; - Druck having guts to NOT cast a white cis twink to play Even; - the piano scene from SKAM France. romance was invented the day that clip dropped. half of its views on youtube are mine not impressed by the fact that all remakes (except for Spain, but maybe they saved it for later seasons) seem very adamant on retelling the noorhell storyline. one time was enough

Question 3: Which characters do you think are an improvement from their Norwegian counterparts? Which characters do you think are worse?

a lot of people also said that none of the vildes (or: none of the vildes except daphné) have succeeded in the comedy and the complexity of original vilde. a LOT of mentions of girl chris being improved in every remake bc they actually gave her a story / she has more personality / made her bi. a lot of mentions of shay and cris!!! mixed about engel because some people said she’s an improvement and some people say she’s worse. people have said that none of the eskilds have the depth of the original. a few people also said hanna is an improvement in how they developed her in season 2 i.e. not making her into a party girl. here are a selection of responses:

pretty much every chris bc they’re getting development they deserve. especially alexia and cris for being gay. italian sana is worse for being white washed

chris had no essence in the og, but alexia Jo etc are great characters. William is worse in all the remakes cuz he never improved. skam Italia is worse in every way imaginable. skamnl is way better at showing how teenage girls act. skamus took everything they needed from og and made it better

Daphné and Alexia are both an improvement on Vilde and Chris. Spanish Cris also seems to be getting much more development than the original. Italian Sana is obviously worse, and again, personally, Niccòlo just didn't have the impact of Even.

Not worse Per say but its been excruiating to watch Noorhell in lots of different versions which is why i usually skip their season or at least all their scenes. I think that Yann from Skamfr is an improvement on the Jonas character from the og because he reflects his actions much more. I kinda think Kiki from Druck wasnt as likeable as Vilde from og at first and the lesbian energies were missing but she has grown on me...I REALLY dont like the way Tyler from Skam austin treats Megan and women in general...

every version of chris has become more well rounded and gayer. definite improvements.

Shay is an improvement over isak because DUH, it's fantastic to have a black lesbian as the center of a gay storyline instead of just another white gay guy. Speaking up, Lucas Rubio is an improvement over Isak because he isn't straight passing, and if LVDH ends up having a journey to becoming more femme he'll be an improvement as well. Thin Chrises Are Worse (sorry cris soto my lesbian frog queen....) and engel and kiki are worse because they don't have the comic relief aspect that the OG vilde did, which was like, the thing that kept her bearable

Question 4: (for LGBT fans only) What gay headcanons do you have and why? How are they similar/different from the original? For example: Do you see a certain character as gay because that's how you viewed them in the original?

definitely the most commonly mentioned headcanons were lesbian daphné and bi kes! people mentioned bi isa a lot as well! a bunch of people said that they viewed vilde as a lesbian but none of the vildes besides daphné are lesbians. same with noora, though a lot of people said liv is bi or manon is a lesbian. a LOT of people said that grace is very straight. also jo being bi and elia (italia) being bi.

A lot of my gay headcanons differ from the original. For example, I headcanon vilde as a lesbian, but most of her remake counterparts I headcanon as straight (with the exception of Daphne and maybe Kelsey). I also headcanon noora as a lesbian, but I headcanon most of her counterparts as either straight (Grace) or bi (Liv, Nora, Manon). I headcanon most of the Jonases as straight (Jorge, Marlon, Jonas Druck), but I headcanon og Jonas as bi, and also Yann as bi. However, I do headcanon pretty much all Chris characters as bi/pan (except for cris since she's probably a lesbian! and is it a headcanon if a character is confirmed bi?), and I think that's sorta because all the Chris characters have similar personalities and interact with characters in similar ways, so it makes sense that I'd headcanon them all similarly. I do try and take all the skam characters on a case by case basis, and I don't want to let my ideas from the original influence my views of the characters too much because they are new characters!

i always saw daphne as a lesbian because of vilde, but she has enough energy and evidence on her own. i also see manon and nora as lesbians (as i did with noora in the og, but they do have Energy on their own, as it the case with the majority of my headcanons) and emma as bi. jo and zoya? also definitely bi. most women have big wlw energies honestly. and yann and jorge are bi.

One thing I've noticed with the remakes is I don't feel obligated anymore to assign a gay headcanon to every character just to have them, if I don't feel gay vibes from a character I don't say they're gay or bi anyway just because you know! The gay headcanons I do have are based on who the characters in remakes, not just copypasting

Every version of Noora (except grace olsen, who is disappointingly het, with a tad bit of bi potential) is a lesbian to me. This is probably because I viewed og Noora as a lesbian and this colors my interpretation of all of them unless they give off extreme het vibes (grace 😔) I also hc Isa as Very Bisexual, because I mean did you see the way Liv was introduced? Also we have the same hair so she’s gotta share my sexuality sorry not sorry

I headcanon literally every Vilde as a lesbian and every Noora and Eva as bisexual precisely because of the characters in the original.

I will always headcanon the Eva's as wlw, partly out of wish fulfillment and partly because the supportive dynamic of Nooreva always stood out to me. Otherwise, the og characters don't affect my perceptions of remake characters much.

I see my high school self in Daphné, when I didn't know yet I was a lesbian. In s2 she was unable to name one thing she actually liked about the guy apart from that he's the official "hottest guy" at school, the whole "nothing turns me on", she wants a boyfriend to fit in but she's actually relieved when she learns that Charles Henri isn't into her and she's slightly obsessed with gays things (is Manon a lesbian? Lucas coming out, etc). I see my past self in her more so than with Vilde in og but that's maybe because I'm french and that's why i can connect with her more.

Question 5: What potential future things are you excited for? (Examples: Shay's season, Spanish Yousef, potential new storylines, etc.)

sooo many people mentioned shay’s season! and cris’ season! and david/matteo! and a lot of people are excited for french yousana & balloon squad! also lucas rubio’s channel! no point in showing the responses because honestly the above is what the majority of people said.

Question 6: any closing thoughts?

this one was funny kjhgfgh

(DAPHÉLIE RIGHTS!)

also i got a ton of people thanking me for the survey so you’re welcome love u all!

conclusion

i think it’s interesting how skam spain, as a whole, was really highly rated like people said it’s objectively the best one AND it’s exciting how it’s changing things BUT their characters all scored pretty low on both favorite and least favorite, so it seems like none of their characters are universally hated or loved, like maybe they haven’t made as much of an impression? i don’t know! either way it’s underrated.

also i didn’t realize how popular skamnl was! a ton of people said that skamnl is the best one, the best soundtrack, the best cinematography, the best eva, and the best noora! and yet it seems like everyone hates lucas vdh (tho not as much as they hate martino) which is interesting!

also skam italia scored super low on almost everything which i think is fun lmao

also shay is UNIVERSALLY ADORED which i’m so pleased about! gay rights!

also i’m sort of surprised at some of these results and i would LOVE if any of you want to share your insights as to why you chose a certain character as your favorite / least favorite! for example i want to hear why everyone hates grace! so feel free to send me a message explaining anything you said bc i’m genuinely curious :-)

also as i was going through the results i realized there’s a lot more questions i could have asked so if you guys ever wanna take another survey lmk :-)

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bizarre-dollhouse · 7 years ago

Text

Discussing the intersection of expectations, culture, and narrative structure when it comes to suspension of disbelief and perceived narrative quality (using Kuroshitsuji and Sherlock season 4 as examples)

The title makes this sound kind of smart but in reality this is another really really long and totally incoherent ramble that accomplishes nothing it’s just something I thought was interesting and wanted to rant about. I’m sorry. One day I’ll go back to writing clever text posts I just don’t know when that day will come.

TL;DR: I thought of what it would be like to describe the 2ct becoming canon to someone who’s never heard of it and it sent me on this long spiral of thought where I concluded that the cleverness of a plot twist can be weighted on toooootally different criteria depending on who you ask.

Honestly the 2ct becoming canon is the most bizarrely conflicting plot twist to ever happen to a fandom.

Like, on the one hand I legitimately think that it was a good twist although who knows it could fall apart in the future only time will tell. I say that because in retrospect it was blatantly obvious (especially in the Boat arc and the Green Witch arc) but Yana still framed everything in such a way that it still felt ambiguous. Evidence piled up piece by piece so each thing on its own could be like “nah, it’s just a coincidence” but once it’s all together it starts to be like “....that’s a lot of coincidences.....hmmmmmm”

Plus, it’s a fun twist even if you figure it out before hand. Also, if you did put all of the pieces together you get that fun feeling of accomplishment that comes with solving a puzzle.

On the other hand, one of my friends was really into to kuro, but (as far as i know) she’s not caught up past the green witch arc and she doesn’t keep up with the fandom on tumblr, so she probs doesn’t know about the 2ct or that it’s canon (and even if she does then idk make this a hypothetical friend it still works).

I’m like

What would she even say if I told her that Ciel has a twin brother? I can’t imagine it being anything except for “what the fuck! that doesn’t make sense and came out of buttfuck nowhere!”

Which is weird bc, as stated earlier, I think it was a plot twist which was easy enough to figure out, but maybe if you weren’t looking for hints then it’s actually a bad twist.

But on another level, that doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either. Because a twist that you can figure out is good, but if it’s too obvious then it just feels like a stupid non-twist. And, like I said, I think Yana did a really good balance of “in plain sight” but also kind of ambiguous (that’s also just my opinion, though).

Sooo...why do I think it would feel so out of left field and terrible if you didn’t figure it out?

I think the elephant in the room is the fact that it’s the most cliched plot twist in the history of western media. Ever. Any parody of a soap opera being used for comedic purposes shows how corny and stupid soap operas are by showing someone had a secret twin. Fucking Gravity Falls had the twin twist but they still had a fake show to make fun of how cliched their own canon plot twist was. It’s mostly only annoying if it’s to create artificial drama or legitimately comes out of nowhere (which I’ll get into later), but it’s still a joke at this point from being used in the past.

it’s a cultural meme.

And this is super fucking unfair because, as akumedeenglish points out, it’s not a trope in Japan, so for Yana and her Japanese fans this is probably purely and unironically rad.

But for any member of the Western fandom who hasn’t heard of the 2ct or just thought the idea was stupid, it feels really stupid.

If I were to tell someone who doesn’t get into kuro theories something like “hey, John Brown turned out to be a grim reaper!” their reaction would probably be more positive even though there is waaaaaaaay less evidence for that actually being a thing even though i want that to be a thing.

But at least you can take it seriously.

I feel like the main reason people hated the 2ct even before it became canon is because it is physically impossible to not think it’s dumb on some level just because it’s been made fun of so much, even if from a technical writing structure it makes perfect sense.

Expectations and specifics can greatly affect the public perception of a good twist. My absolute favourite comparison to make is the twist in Sherlock season 4, which is literally the worst twist of all time ever. In that show, Sherlock also has a super secret sibling, except it makes no fucking sense. Sherlock apparently magically forgot about her, and apparently she had the ability to mess with him at anytime but just...chose not to for several years.

Also she can fucking control people and see the future in a show that is not science fiction and is supposedly set in reality.

Like nothing was building up to the twist except for like one line where Mycroft says something about “the last one” or something implying maybe there was another Holmes. Still dumb, and still last minute. But because of that people weren’t dedicated to an expectation that the sibling theory wasn’t canon, so there was no disappointment, just shock.

Followed by disappointment when the next episode aired.

But what made me paranoid was that my mom (who also hated season 4 of sherlock by the by) had a coworker who totally thought that it made sense and wasn’t contrived as shit. My mom said something that made me rethink the entire structure of a show like Sherlock compared to the Kuro manga.

“He was defending it”.

So of course I sat down to have an existential crisis about the nature of plot twists and narrative structure. “Am I just defending a shitty plot twist by telling myself it wasn’t shitty?” I thought to myself while sitting with my fist under my chin in an intellectual position of philosophical thought.

No, with a “maybe” on standby in case this whole Phantomhive twin thing totally sucks in future chapters.

Like i said, the 2ct follows the structural rules for creating a good plot twist. It makes narrative sense, and you could figure out before hand while still having fun with it. The same fucking plot twist was total bs in Sherlock for the reasons mentioned above (btw I should point out that I actually like the first two seasons of Sherlcok before anyone has my head. I would also like to point you towards the 1.5 hour video where someone describes how Sherlock doesn’t work as a mystery bc in that video there is a clip of the directer/writer saying “ah man, if we dove into Sherlock’s backstory, that would be a mistake and no one would buy it!” ....but you did. ah yes. clearly the sibling thing was a brilliant and well thought out twist and not something you made up to look clever. way to be consistent.)

Kuro is dumb, but it’s not stupid.

Sherlock looked smart but turned out to be incompetent.

Plus, even though I love kuro, I’m not gonna sit here and be like “oh man, that boyband arc was totally necessary and not stupid at all! I’m sure glad Yana spent 3 whole volumes describing Ciel having wacky antics at a public school!” I may have Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to this manga but I also have standards. (Actually in all honesty I was falling out of love with the series because I hated the boyband stuff so much, but real ciel brought me back XD).

(Actually, I think a valid point about the 2ct becoming canon is that the timing was baaaaaad because it happened right after a point where people where drastically losing interest in the series).

But in the end, it is a legitimately bad twist for some people for a multitude of reasons. It is cliched, even if Yana didn’t know that and it only affects western readers. It can change people’s perception of the main character in a way they don’t like. If you’re an audience member who has never heard of the 2ct, it can really feel like it came out of buttfuck nowhere. Plus, for every reader, it kinda turned the series in a weird direction??? I legitimately have no idea where this is going. It could totally suck balls. Yana could unintentionally make it follow the evil twin cliche to a point of nausea. My only ray of confidence is coming from the fact that she had a plan for this and I have foolish optimism.

So I guess at the end of the day it comes down to suspension of disbelief and level of investment/curiosity? Like, how much are you willing to accept it as a twist that makes sense and are you interested enough to see how it plays out.

But like I said, I still think it’s a good twist based on dramatic stakes, narrative consistency, and the fact that it was set up in a clever way. This becomes a lot more obvious when Kuro is compared to Sherlock season 4.

That’s my rant. bye.

#when you lose control of your life and keeping making posts that don't make sense #text

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pldubrahs · 8 years ago

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anyway, this has been a While coming and now im back in new orleans so LOTS OF GUSHING ABOUT THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL, UNDER THE CUT

the ambiance of the theater, dim and filled with soft storm sounds

this show does really beautiful things with overlapping singing and w harmonys and its So low budget but still so good and the cast is small but amazing and literally everyone but chris is cast into several roles and its just amazing

if u dont wanna read this whole thing, just scroll down to the end for a Special Surprise

ACT 1

the Bitter, Angry, Sad music, ltm is truly the Emo Rock Musical we deserve

i seriously almost fell out of my chair when chris mccarrell came out. he honest to god was SUCH a good percy, so fidgety and all his expressions were ON POINT

“CHROOONOOOOOOOS”

ms dodds in General she was hilarious for the literal 3 minutes she was onstage

the pen to sword transformation is literally just: chris hides the pen and grabs the sword from somewhere else onstage. during my show, in the ms dodds fight scene, the sword was on the back of chirons wheelchair and it got stuck so he had to trip after the chair as chiron wheeled off and TUG it off to fight

DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVED CHRIS MCCARRELL AND HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS? BECAUSE I DO AND IT W A S

sally is a BLACK WOMAN

just in general, this show was Amazing at raceblind casting

sally sprayed febreeze after smelly gabe, like he leaned to look in the fridge and she stood behind him spraying febreeze directly at him for like 30 seconds

“he was handsome and strong and before too long- you came!” percy was roasting marshmallows and looking out towards the audience and sally was rubbing up and down the sides of her body during this before “you came!” and it was v funny

Strong in general was Great bc WOW IM LOVE THE “NORMALCY IS A SOCIALLY CONSTRUCTED MYTH” MESSAGE

grover and percy meeting outside camp

“oh look a goat” “percy!”

“he met a furie” “youre all furry! what happened to your legs”

the v cute friendship bickering, overlapping voices thing that percy and grover v often did. this was the grover and percy friendship that we always needed

during the weird dream when he sees annabeth and hes like “gee whiz shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen”

and then when he officially meets her after hes not out of it, he says “youre my dream girl!” and then backpedals and its great

ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY. DEFFS ONE OF THE TOP FIVE SONGS. MR D IN GENERAL WAS JUST AMAZING, GEORGE SALAZAR ROCKED IT

he kicked the chair over so much and then there was a part after his camp halfblood intern thing left so his chair didnt get reset behind him and so he kicked into the air, got frustrated, and put the chair up himself

“of course, who am i to give relationship advice, im literally the god of alcohol”

“you can hate it here, but i HATED IT FIRST”

so so so many Soft sex jokes and bc im a Child i loved them

chiron is just a guy galloping with a horse tail its the cutest thing and everyone laughed bc like imagine a kid galloping w their legs high and w/e, but on an adult and slow motion

“you’ll get used to mr d. he can be a bit... well, he hates children”

luke was Very attractive and ALSO he had a lot of chemistry w percy and w annabeth and i, who remembered shipping percy and luke back in my Youth, was Living

annabeth deffs had a crush on luke dont @ me

also luke was Softly bitter. like he sounded like a modern kid, bitter and upset but saying it in a joking way; totally makes sense that no one suspects that he’d do anything w chronos bc all the kids are upset and he doesnt get dark until the very end of the show

“are you ever going to wear pants again?” “Nope!”

luke: “havent you ever played capture the flag?” percy, excitedly: “not with swords!” *makes swooshy lightsaber noises* annabeth, suffering, full of regret: “It’s not a lightsaber.”

“sexist much?” “no, i love girls” [muffled luke and grover cackling in the background]

CLARISSE, LOVE OF MY LIFE! her song was so so good

im sure everyone has mentioned this but the LEAF BLOWERS BLOWING TOILET PAPER TO REPRESENT WATER LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE

the campfire song

percys Soft concern for annabeths story about running away “wait is that true”

grover starting to cry during his part

“my father is chronos.... remember my lecture, he ate his children””....... chiron wins”

APHRODITE'S DAUGHTER’S STORY “godess of love, my moms aphrodite... i bring home a boy and shes there in her nightie! oh nooooo” “she steals my mascara and all of my dates!” wonderful

percy sings nicely about his mother and everyones like “hes doing it wrong”

“we dont care where our parents may be, as long as you are here with me!” FRIENDSHIP MAKES ME EMO

“havent you noticed that there arent any other little sea godlings running around? any sons of hades or daughters of zeus? the big three gods arent supposed to have kids!” i loved this tiny easter egg i love my big three kids

“look at the boy, hes clearly not a thief!” “oh, yeah no yeah yeah yeah no no yeah yeah no yeah no, youre right! you cant fake being that stupid unless youre a brilliant actor, but im also the god of drama, so i can tell you HES NOT”

“his lightning?” “yeah, we're not talking some crummy tin foil zig zag from some off broadway play!”

GOOD KID IS EVEN BETTER LIVE THAN IT WAS ON THE RECORDING IT RUINED MY LIFE

Killer Quest! is an amazing end of act song and v upbeat and cute

“so where is the underworld actually” “look for doa records” “its a record company? actually, im not surprised”

ACT 2

WE’RE LOST IN THE WOODS SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY AND WE’RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT TO LA

“half bloods to monsters smell like mickey ds, like tacos or take out vietnamese”

“dude are you talking to the squirrel?” “satyr powers, be nice. this squirrel knows every corner of the woods, maybe he can help us” “really? because i think that seems kind of nuts” [silence] “you hurt his feelings. tell the squirrel youre sorry.”

medusa in general, what a Good scene

ensemble members shaking maracas to make snake noises for her

medusa cant say “nemesis”

“ive done everything to prove to the gods that im the best and you- i mean, you dont even know how to hold a sword” “yes i do!, yes... i do...” “no, hands here *adjusts percys grip*” “i didnt ask for any of this: gods, monsters, quests- oh, wow, that is a lot easier”

my grand plan is the most annabeth chase song ever and i love it its such a good look into her character and i love her so much

“when boys mess up they always get another chance”

“cause most girl never win if theyre polite”

THE COMMENTARY ON HOW WOMEN HAVE TO BE IN TODAYS SOCIETY IN ORDER TO BE TAKE SERIOUSLY HELL YEAH

“the gods will think we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent”

the squirrel gave them three amtrak tickets

DRIVE IS A COUNTRY SONG AND I FUCKING LOVE IT IM HONESTLY SHOOK

i hate country except for this One Song

ITS ONE FOOT FORWARD AT A TIME; DUST OFF ALL THAT GRIT AND GRIME; WE STILL GOT A LOT LEFT TO DOOOO, CAUSE PEOPLE ARE COUNTIN ON US AND IM COUNTIN ON YOU! DRIIIIIIIIVE JUST DRIIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIVE STAY AHEAD STAY AHEAD STAY ALIIIIIIIVE

“is that chihuahua?” “its a chimera!”

“maybe if you hadnt brought all those dam snacks” “uh it was the hoover dam and i was hungry!”

ares drives them to las vegas and when they get there he says “this is where i... get off” and its HILARIOUS i love lowkey sex jokes

gentle easter egg to bianca and nico re: may 1st 1939

“the oracle can can it ill save my mom and savE THE PLANET!” im love percy so much

tREE ON THE HILL IS ABOUT THALIA AND IT MADE ME CRY GOD WHAT A GOOD SONG and grover feels like a failure and annabeth is like “no u saved my life ur a good friend and a good guardian <3 friendship”

THE FERRYMAN TO THE UNDERWORLD FLIRTS WITH GROVER

“you wanna hear my demo?” “uh-” [loud music plays] “im sorry i couldnt hear you over this SWEET ASS RIFF”

YOURE IN THE D.O.A. AND YOURE HERE TO STAY YEAH YOURE STUCK FOREVER NEVER GET AWAY NO HOPE FOR SURVIVAL YOURE DEAD ON ARRIVAL

“oh! do you have any josh groban?” “we will.” I CACKLED

DJ CEBERUS W A COOL 3-HEADED DEADMAU5 ESQUE MASK

the ferryman also attacks them all like “youre not gonna save the planet, you wont protect your friends, you wont be remembered”

everyone says this but “i think this pit is tartarus” “LIKE THE FISH SAUCE?”

“why would chronus want my shoes?” “they were really cool shoes”

bitter, sad hades who just wants people to stop thinking that hes the bad guy and for his brothers to come visit him

“one does not simply walk out of the underworld”

W H A T B E L O N G S T O T H E S E A C A N A L W A Y S R E T U R N

small reprise of good kid as he considers hades offer and then the melody cHANGES and percy realizes that the seashell, a gift from a god, can SAVE THEM and its beautiful because SON OF POSEIDON IS A GOOD SONG

“maybe my dad was a screwup too, his best laid plans always falling through... maybe he never knew how to care but hey, thats life, and life aint fair... but i think my dad mayve thrown me a line, and better late than never, ill finally get a sign!”

its a good song kids

the kids get to the oceans and they FIGHT ARES and ares and percy are both singing, percy singing The Son Of Poseidon chorus and ares singing Put You In Your Place and its b e a u t i f u l

THE TOILET PAPER THROW- basically they bring in like 6 leafblowers w toilet paper rolls attached and the first five rows get covered in toilet paper. as someone who was in the fifth row, it was amazing

poseidon comes in, they have a Heart To Heart, he brings sally back to life, he flirts with sally, its hilarious and awkward

��the gods are unfair but we’re not total dicks”

percys like “you dont have to stay w gabe anymore” and sallys like “smh boy u cant solve all my problems. you saved my life, now i have to figure out how to live it”

he gives her medusas head

“what is this” “its a... do it yourself scupture kit” “oh! *begins to open it*” “no no no its, um, medusas head”

“well, as my official protector, you can officially escort us back to camp” “and youre conscience this time!”

chiron is also cast as poseidon so like he runs into the camp scene after a quick change and says “i hoofed it here as quick as i could!”

last day of summer happens and w/e its cute but whAT REALLY MATTERS IS LUKES BETRAYAL: okay so the music slows and goes into the minor key and percys like “we still dont know whos working w chronos :/” lukes like “yeah it sucks” and he starts singing about how he doesnt trust the gods and how the gods hate them and how they need to take over the world and put the gods in their place--he and percy do their handshake fist-to-the-chest thing and luke is serious and percy does it but hes v confused and it Hurts. this is the first time in the show that luke sounds just Bitter and Angry instead of jokingly deprecating and its quite the effect

THE DARK GOOD KID REPRISE

“ill do anything, i dont care if i hurt anyone, it doesnt pay to be a good kid, a good kid, a good son" GOD IT HURTS luke has so much pain and i feel so bad for him like yeah hes evil but,,, hes had a hard life

annabeth comes in and DISARMS LUKE but PSYCH luke has a small switchblade and STABS PERCY IN THE BACK (bc they cant use scorpions onstage)

percybeth moment interrupted by clarisse’s loud coughing and grover

percys like “we cant just sit here and wait for our parents to fix things.”

“the gods will say we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent” goddamn that symmetry

“are we ever gonna once have it easy?” my poor poor kids

percy- “feeling ready” annabeth- “feeling stoked” grover- “feeling queasy”

THE SEA DOESNT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED

bring on the monsters is just a Good song

also hey if you got to the end of this, congrats! i have a ltm audio and either in a message or in an off-anon ask and ill hook u up

#lightning thief musical #the lightning thief #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson musical #lydia talks about stuff

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idealisticrealism · 8 years ago

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Blindspot recap 2x16

(Aka the one where Cade is the source and Patterson’s tooth is the mole)

Happy Blindspot day! Here’s a rather late recap, as is kinda typical for me at the moment (nightshifts take up a lot of energy haha). But anyway, have a look below the cut for a lot of rambling about how much I love Jeller and how much I want to hug Patterson haha

Oh yeah, Nas is being strangled. Forgot about that. But oooh I love the car-seat trick and then like flipping herself over into the backseat??That was kinda badass. I'm always approving of seeing ladies beat the crap out of bad guys. But anyway he's dead now (nice work Nas, I’m sure Weller didn’t want to interrogate him or anything) and anyway she's got the info-- which if there's really info about Sandstorm on that USB, then clearly he wasn't the one that put it there (bc he would have just used a decoy) meaning that if it’s legit then her source and this killer are not connected. Which lbr we already know they aren’t.

But nvm about all that bc this scene is far more important. The team are all hanging at Weller's and laughing and toasting and drinking and ughhhh remember early last season when Zapata and Reade had never even been in his apartment?? And now they're all hanging out?? Being besties?? And omg Patterson is such a cutie, insisting they toast every time (maybe I’m going to make a variation on that rule and always toast to Patterson herself before I do a shot haha) and they all indulge her and ughhhh my babies. And then Jane is there, walking straight in without knocking bc lbr this apartment is always open to her. Do I dare even consider the fact that she has a key, ‘in case of emergencies’??? But anyhow clearly Weller had invited her (because of course he did, he probably suggested the group drinks in the first place just to have an excuse to invite her over), and she probably had wanted to come so much but had already agreed to plans with Oliver and felt she couldn't cancel on him... especially not when she would be doing so to go spend time with the guy she’s actually in love with. That would probably be a kinda unfair thing to do to your date. But lbr when he bailed n their dinner she probably wasn't even that upset bc she was now free to go be with her family instead ughh. Also it's weird to think that this is all taking place immediately after last ep? Like only hours after the team all split into pairs to hunt down the smuggler. I mean Zapata's looking good for someone who got shot in the back of her vest, and Weller seems to have recovered well from being tased haha. But anyway they're all like ‘yaayy Jane's here’ which is so cute lol, and Zapata's like 'wait what about that thing you had on' (ugh look at this supportive lady-friend being all discreet haha) and Weller looks up with that 'I-really-wanna-hear-this-but-also-really-don't' expression bc I'm sure that even if Jane hadn't told him she had a date when he invited her to the drinks, he would have known it anyway bc she would have been all flustered and awkward and also clearly bummed about missing out on being with the team and ugh I bet Weller is fighting off a grin rn to know that she's here with him-- er, I mean with them-- and not with some guy and aww Patterson immediately involves her in the toasting thing and ugh look at my babies all being so happyyyyyy. And then Zapata immediately finds a excuse to whisk both of them off into the kitchen so they can have a ~girl talk~ (omg her "boys. so sensitive." comment lol. I feel you there girl.) and ugh I am SO HERE for this bonding and supportiveness and lol considering Weller got up and headed somewhere right the same time that they did, I'm totally picturing him hiding around the corner sneakily trying to listen in haha. Whereas meanwhile Reade and Patterson are left awkwardly at the table and she reaches out so earnestly, telling him she's worried about him, and he just walks off. Excuse me, I will not tolerate this rudeness towards my baby. Go back and apologise. And then omg Jane has snuck into the nursery (love the mobile with Aussie animals on it, like it’s a nod to my country for producing Sully haha) but anyway ugh I love the way that Jane looks around the room; it's not a wistful "I wish this was mine to share with him", though I'm sure that there's definitely a bit of that buried down deep. Mostly though she just looks at it all with such tenderness and pride, because she can see what a good and loving father Weller is going to be and it makes her love him all the more. And then oops Weller busts her (lbr he'd been fully aware of exactly where she was every moment since she stepped into the apartment, and was just waiting for his chance to spend some time alone with her) and she's adorably embarrassed and guilty about snooping but he doesn't mind at all bc lbr Jane has 100% free access to anything in his life bc he loooooves herrr, and then ugh Allie gets mentioned and Jane tries to suss out what the situation will be after the baby is born bc lbr she's secretly picturing her and Weller’s future life together, whether she realises it or not. And then she apologises for overstepping and takes the question back, just like he did when he asked her about Oliver, and ugh I love that these two are doing this little dance and wanting to be closer and know all these things about each other but they're afraid that the other doesn't want to share that connection so they apologise and try to step back again, but the other one always reassures them it's alright and then opens up a little more and ughhhhh these two are so clearly inchinggggg their way back toward each other again and ugh this is such a honest and vulnerable moment that could have easily led to something even deeper but of course by the very nature of the Jeller moment, it means that they have to be interrupted-- and so right on time there's a text from Nas (since she couldn't barge in in person, she had to make do) and ugh we’re all sitting here like 'okay you nearly died? cool well you would still have been not-dead in five minutes, how about next time you be more considerate and give everyone some time to themselves before demanding all the damn attention’. Sigh.

And so now the team is all back at the FBI and I'm curious as to how they got there, bc I'm certain that all of them except Jane would have been too intoxicated to drive. Like seriously tho did they all pile together into her car?? Who got to ride shotgun?? Weller, since he's the bigest and also the boss? And also so he and Jane could throw loaded looks at each other while she drove? Or what if Weller was feeling gentlemanly and let Patterson sit up front so she wouldn't be squished, and instead Zapata was the one sandwiched between Weller and Reade, poking her elbow into Reade's side lol? I really hope they did all drive together, I mean it’s just a far more entertaining thought than FBI people picking them up. Though it'd be kinda funny if they took cabs or ubers instead, like 'hey we're a bunch of FBI agents take us to our headquarrters stat'. But anyhow, I'm getting distracted. The team arrives in the lab, Weller checks in on Nas just long enough to get the USB with the info. The team tosses ideas back and forth about who the source is and if he had anything to do with the attack, then Weller sets Patterson to cracking the USB which will take all night. Ugh, my poor baby works so hard. Though lbr it's not like Weller is gonna go home and to bed either; he’ll probably spend all night working in his office so he’s readily available if she needs him. And then lol now Patterson's busy with her computer and Reade & Zapata have apparently decided they have some place else to be, so when Weller walks away, Jane can go after him alone, touching his arm (yaaaasssss Unnecessary and Lingery Touuuuchhhhh) and asking him if he's okay and ugh he's so upset and Jane just steadies him like no one else can and promises that they'll get Shepherd and then she touches his arm again (oh lord help me) before going to help Patterson and ughhhhh I love Supportive Wifey Jane and ugh I know I've said it before but I'm just so glad these two are partners again ughhh

Naw Reade and Zapata have just had another one of their joint gym sessions which I think is adorable. And lol he's talking about a woman he thinks is kinda cute (lbr tho man you're not exactly being picky these days) and she grimaces at him, which is basically a pretty good reflection of how I feel about Reade and his proclivities atm lol. And then oh hello random drug screen lady! That was a funny moment with "it's your lucky day"/"we finally have hot water in the showers?"/"we have soft serve in the commissary??" lol you sassy buggers. But more importantly than all that is the horror on Reade's face when she tells them they're going to be screened today-- yep, this is called karma, bro. You were mean to my baby Patterson and now the universe is punishing you. Also I love Zapata's “Couldn't you have given us a heads-up on this” and the lady's snarky reply. I like her already. And I like that she didn't take any of Reade's crappy excuses about not feeling well. It’s time to face the music, sucker.

Awwww Jane sitting on the floor with Roman and trying to get him to eat and worrying about him sleeping on the hard floor and ugh he asks her about her night and about Oliver and then ughhhh "I don't have much, but what little I do have I owe to you". That is such a true statement, and it kinda encompasses the good and bad? Like yeah he's in a cell and has no memories and that's because of her but he's also alive and being cared for and free of Sandstorm and that's all because of her too. Ugh their situation is such a complicated and interesting one but I really wish she would be honest with him about the zipping. He's been a little more settled lately, no huge outbursts in a couple of days, so maybe it's approaching the right time to start telling him the truth?? Please???

Back in the lab, Nas has emerged from the med bay, and so Patterson shows her and Weller the photos that she got off the USB-- pictures of Shepherd and Sandstorm peeps from the day before. And then the source calls and tells them where to bring him money before he gives them any more info on Shepherd's location. And yes this is all very important but rn I'm actually much more interested in Weller's loose necktie situation bc damn I'm digging it. Also I wanna know what happened last night? Like did he go home? Did the others go home? Was there any point in them sticking around anyway if only Patterson could run the decrypting program? If he did go home, did he sleep at all? I need to know these things. But anyhow Jane catches up to him in the corridor, and she opposes his plan to stake out the meet site beforehand, worried that they'll spook the source and lose their chance at a lead. And lbr she's kinda like his inner voice, here? He's having to do things a certain way bc he's the boss and he's supposed to do things by the book and prevent risk to his agents, but all the arguments she's making are exactly what he feels himself, yet he has to ignore them. Ugh I love the fact that even when they appear to be at odds, they’re still in tune?? #soulmaaaates

Oooooh Zapata's questioning Reade about his weird behaviour and lol she teases him about handling his hard liquor like a preteen (tho I would hope that preteens aren't drinking hard liquor lol) and then jokingly prods him about if he’s really worried he's going to fail, and then he's all 'well, yeah' and she's like wait what. Then he gets called up and walks out like a guy going to his execution and seriously son you would never be in this situation if you hadn't made such terrible life choices lately

Meanwhile the rest of the team is actually working, trying to hover around inconspicuously as Nas goes to the drop point. Which is kinda ridiculous tbh bc literally the source would recognise both Jane and Weller instantly so I feel that this is not a terrific plan. Then he calls and tells Nas to go to a nearby hospital and gives her directions on dropping the bag into a laundry cart before leaving. Then some guy collects the cart and puts the bag in the laundry chute-- so Weller accosts him and shoves him into a wall. Ah, my cranky son. (Tho lbr I quite enjoy watching Weller manhandle people. I would not mind watching him shove Jane into a wall in a much gentler and more romantic fashion haha). Anyway turns out the guy was just paid to do it, and they realise that the source is down in the laundry room at the base of the chute, and Weller is all like 'quick, to the stairs!' and Jane's like 'nah son I got this' and legit jumps down the chute, slowing her fall on the walls and doing a kickass roll when she gets to the bottom. Dude. Life. Goals. And then she immediately pursues the source, only for him to circle behind her and put his gun to her head-- and the moment he speaks she realises it's Cade. Okay so Cade has been the source all along? Or maybe both he and Markos? Or maybe he, Markos AND Remi? But then anyway in another incredibly badass move, she dodges to the side of the gun and disarms him and throws him over her shoulder and ugh I am so down with this fight bc while Jane is definitely going to be the more skilled, she is probably the person who taught him to fight well in the first place?? Student vs master. And them bam she has the gun on him and tells him that they're on the same side and that she killed Oscar and ooooooohhhhhh I bet he didn't see that coming. And then suddenly Weller is there, impressively not out of breath considering the fact that he probably just sprinted down like five flights of stairs to get here and protect his wifey. And Nas is there too, and says 'Cade! in surprise and recognition(??), and I guess she knows what he looks like from a sketch of Jane's or something? Still, it's weird how quick she was. And then he reveals he's the source and everyone is like whaaaaaaa lol

Oooh Reade's in trouuuuble. With Zapata, that is. And he insists he was just blowing off some steam and she shuts him down, making it clear that what he's doing is waaaay more serious than that, and insisting that he tell Weller. And awww she says that they're all family, but Reade blows her off. So he really doesn't believe that the team is family to him? That's sad. And wrong. And then he even questions Patterson about tipping off the drug test people and I'm literally offended on her behalf. She's being cool about it ("agents can't call for random drug tests. They're random.") but I bet his suspicion hurt. And then Jane joins them and I feel like she picks up on the vibe, but they all focus instead on Weller, Nas and Zapata as they go in to interrogate Cade. Why three of them? Why is Zapata there? I mean she’s great and I'm always happy to see her being badass, but I'm just a little confused. And anyway Cade is being a smartass about 'where it all started' (aka the big bang) and the ladies are basically like shut up and get to the point lol. So we hear his backstory about why he joined Sandstorm (dad died in a mining accident and lawyers robbed the family of compensation etc. Because apparently the only response to tragedy and injustice is terrorism) and then he tells them that he left Sandstorm when he realised that Shepherd was only fighting for herself, not his cause. While listening, Jane has a flashback to Roman talking to Cade about all the people that are going to die in phase 2, and Remi shuts down the conversation. It definitely seems like the memories we see these days often have Remi seeming like much more of a jerk then she used to (not that she was ever a ray of sunshine before tho tbh). Idk it might just be a product of what's triggering the memories. Anyway Cade explains that he stayed with Sandstorm so he could do more damage from the inside, and Weller gets pissed at him about trying to kill them (or really, trying to kill Jane, which is the part that actually upsets him). And Cade says he did it both to try to stop the plan-- bc back then Jane was much more central to it, right?-- and also as revenge for Oscar killing someone he loved. I'm so intrigued by the way he talks about Markos-- "Markos made me whole" sounds like much more of an intimate connection than family/brothers-in-arms. Whether they were involved that way or not, I'm definitely headcanoning that Cade was in love with Markos.

Aaaand so Weller is not happy with Cade’s demands for money and immunity. He storms into his office (does he really ever enter his office any other way?) and I love that Jane is confident in her right to be there but still hangs back a little, giving Nas a chance to make her case first, pretty much bc she knows it won’t work haha. Only Jane can get through to him when he’s like this. And ugh one of Weller's main arguments against Cade going free is that he tried to kill Jane. Lbr that’s totally an unforgivable crime in Weller's opinion. And ugh again I’m so glad about this whole moment-- like if this was happening in the early eps of this season, even if Weller would have admitted his anger over Cade trying to kill Jane at all, Jane certainly wouldn’t have been there to hear it and know that he felt that way. But now she is, and even if she tells herself that he's really just making excuses not to work with one of Sandstorm’s members, a little part of her would cling to his protectiveness of her and revel in it. But anyhow I love that she puts a hand on Nas' shoulder and is all like 'good try, but dw, I got this.' And she follows him and locks eyes with him and tells him that they have to put their baggage with Cade aside, like Weller did with her, and he's all "that was different" and ugh she reminds him about telling Zapata he didn’t even want to be in the same room as her and ugh it hurts me that that memory comes to her so easily. How much it must have hurt her to hear that, and how much Weller must regret it now and want to take it all back and tell her he never really meant it and he actually loved her all along and ughhhhhhh. ��And ugh he drops his gaze from hers and you already know that he'll let Cade go. He'll do anything for her. Lbr a lot of the time Jane is the most powerful person on this team bc of the sway she has over Weller, but it’s a power she would never abuse. Plus, she would do literally anything for Weller in return, and close to anything for every single member of the team. Ugh, my loyal baby.

Anyway so Cade gets his deal and tells the whole team about Shepherd meeting with a smuggler person, possibly to be smuggled somewhere herself. So they send out a team to lie in wait for ehr, but just as they're ready tog et into position, they see smoke coming from the building, and race in only to find that the guy Shepherd was meeting is already dead and a bunch of his files are burned. So they think Cade sold them out and pre-warned Shepherd, leading to an angry confrontation and he's all 'uhhhhh I've been here the whole time? literally how could I have gotten any kind of message out" lol and then he tells them that maybe they have a mole, which pisses Weller off. Uh, Cade, you might want to be careful. People are a little sensitive about the ‘M’ word around here....

Ughhh Jane suggests that they use Cade to try to jog Roman's memories and Weller allows it bc she's his beloved wifey and he wants to make her happy ugh. And it's such an interesting dynamic with Cade and Roman. "I don't know whether to choke you or feed you soup. Or maybe both" lol. And then Jane is all sweet with Roman when he can't remember anything, and it must be strange for Cade to see how not-Remi she is?? Though he still throws a jab at her about wanting her brother in a cage, which sets off another memory for her about keeping Roman from talking to Cade. As a sidenote, I love Remi's flat, dead voice and how different it is from Jane's. But anyhow clearly the doses that these two were zipped with were very different, or Jane’s has been wearing off or something, bc she is definitely much more susceptible to triggers than he is. But ugh my fave part of this scene was probably when Cade says that mean comment to Jane and Weller just grabs him roughly by the arm and drags him outta there. No one’s mean to his wifey and gets away with it...

Zapata and Reade get their results back, which were thankfully negative (though part of me wishes his had been positive just so he had to face it and get help). Also I love that they have these very private conversations in the locker room-- like cmon guys someone could be literally right around the corner. But anyhow ugh Zapata is so serious and worried rn and she insists again that he tell Weller and get help (work-dad will fix it!), but Reade is refusing to seek help bc he’s kinda a butthead these days. And so Zapata-- while making it clear that she's doing it out of love-- tells him that she will tell Weller if he doesn't, and his reaction to that reminds me of a little kid: "but... but you're my best friend" *lip wobbles*. Uh yeah, dude, she is! That's why she will do whatever it takes to protect you, even if you hate her for it! Ugh. Poor Zapata, she should go talk it out with her BFF Jane. Meanwhile Weller locks Cade back up, and then being the sweet marshmallow he is, actually pauses and tells Cade that he's sorry about his father. Ugh, my big softy. He mentions that his uncle was a miner too, and Cade's all ‘yeah I know, Shepherd talked about you a lot’. Which is creepy but unsurprising, I guess?

Over in the lab, my baby Patterson is looking at files on Borden, which is upsetting. She gets another headache, then is looking at pictures of Shepherd when she suddenly puts it all together, realising what's been going on with her and why Sandstorm always seems to be ahead of them. Also lol at the lab tech who comes up to ask her something and she's all "not now" and they back away respectfully from their queen haha. But oh my poor baby, this must be a horrible feeling, to realise her own role in all of this. Weller would never blame you though honey!

And speaking of Weller, he's back in his office when Jane comes in all shy, and she's like 'um, weird question, but... are you my supervisor?' with literally THE CUTEST expression on her face, and tbh it's kinda funny to consider her as part of boring old workplace ladders bc she's just ~part of the family~ (or rather jst like an extension of Weller, lbr) and Weller is like 'uuuhhhhhhhh yeah I guess I am' which shows he never really thought about it either lol. And lbr, she kind of went from victim-->asset-->Weller's partner-->traitor-->prisoner-->asset-->Weller's partner, so she never really fit neatly into the whole boss/employee thing. But anyhow she shows him the requisition form that she needs him to sign, all the stuff she wants for Roman, admitting she can't stand to see him so unsettled. And Weller literally doesn't even hesitate before signing it, despite the fact that someone like Roman could very easily use those things to craft a weapon or escape tool or something. He just signs it bc not only does he trust Roman not to do that, and also cares about her and hates seeing her sad, but also he remembers feeling the same way when Jane was first brought to them. Which squeezes my heart bc he acted so aloof at the start but you just knew-- KNEW-- that underneath he really felt for her and wanted to help and comfort her. Which he soon did, though as professionally as he could (until the feelings won out over professionalism haha). But ughhh I bet it hits her hard when he says that about having the same feeling-- bc she LOVES Roman. That's why it hurts her to see him like that. So if Weller felt the same way about her, even back then....

But anyhow, of course this tender Jeller moment is just begging for an interruption, so in steps Patterson, showing them warnings on her ipad as she talks about having a bug in her servers that she needs to fix, and ugh every word she's saying is so clearly about herself and fixing the 'bug' in her before it corrupts the whole FBI 'server' and ugh she's holding herself together so well and Jane looks confused and then concerned and Weller just looks aggrieved and ughhhhhh I NEED there to have been a moment after she leaves (after writing on the ipad to tell them to gather the others and meet her in that metal cage thing that radio signals can't penetrate) where Jane just reaches out to Weller and comforts him bc lbr they're like the parents in this family and Patterson is daddy's little girl and ughhhhh how sad and angry and frustrated and horrified they must be all at once and ughhhh. I just feel like Weller needed a hug and Jane wanted to hug him but couldn't-- not it his glass-walled office, not with unresolved stuff still between them-- but she would have at the very least stepped close and had her hand on his arm and murmured comforting words and ughhh. But anyway the whole team is in the cage now, and Patterson tells them all about the bug she found in her tooth, which is seriously crazy small. It couldn’t possibly exist in the real world. But anyhow Jane, the protective mama, is like 'Let's go get it out right now' but Patterson, my brave baby, looks at Weller and suggests they use it to lure Sandstorm. Which is a very good idea, lbr. Which then leads to them all hanging out in Weller's office reading from scripts, and it's kinda hilarious to see actors playing people who are bad actors? Like their reading is so stilted but I guess it still sounds believable enough to Sandstorm, so that’s all that matters haha

So now Sandstorm is coming to the safehouse where Cade is being kept, to kill him before he can ‘trigger any more' of Roman's memories. Borden's the one making the calls since apparently Shepherd is out on a barge in the middle of the ocean for whatever reason (lbr who knows why Shepherd does literally anything except for ~Insanity~). I'm sure that will become clear eventually. So the trap is set; Reade and Patterson are in the safehouse with Cade, presumably settling him in, when he overpowers Patterson, steals her gun, and fake-shoots them both before making a run for it, forcing the Sandstorm guys to race after him. I appreciate seeing Borden getting tricked by the very people he tricked, and it all almost works too, except apparently he has superhuman eyesight and notices a floodlight up in a tree. All the others are surrounded, but he escapes off another way-- only to be caught by Patterson, who wounds him with a shot then chases him into a barn. Meanwhile the ringleader of all the others manages to shoot all three of the others before shooting himself, and come on, really? What if he'd fired at the FBI? Someone would have taken him down immediately. So why couldn't they have killed him after he fired the first shot, or even shot at one of the other guys in the leg to drop him and then kill the main guy before he could re-aim and kill them too? I guess we're gonna have to suspend our disbelief here and just roll with it, bc lbr how could our crackshot team (especially Jane) not be able to stop this from happening?

But anyhow. On to more important things, which is my baby chasing Borden into a barn all alone, despite Weller shouting orders not to. And ugh as she walks in you can see that like literally everything in this barn (propane tanks, paint thinner, etc) is flammable, and well this is surely a very bad sign. And then she demands that 'Nigel' turn himself in, and ugh he shoots towards her and nearly hits the tanks and the she corners him and yet again they're facing down from either side of a gun, and ughhh she's telling him that he's going to spend the rest of his life in a cell and he actually reassures her, telling her that it's okay that she wants to kill him and omg okay maybe he's just saying that bc he assumes that she does, but then again maybe he KNOWS? If Sandstorm has been able to hear everything she's said in the past couple of weeks, then they have heard all her sessions with Dr Sun, the ones that (as she admitted to Reade) usually end with her sobbing. How many times did Borden come into the control room and volunteer to take over a shift listening to their bug; how many times did he sit there and listen to her cry and rail about how he'd betrayed her and destroyed her?? Ughhh and while I don't feel sorry for him (okay, maybe the teeeensiest bit), I do believe that he DID care about her. It just wasn't enough. And then ughhhh she's yelling at him now for what he did to her and there's tears in her eyes and he tries to apologise and I appreciate that he's made no move to shoot at her (I don't believe he would anyway) bc I'd hate for her to have to kill him bc that would mean even more emotional trauma-- like Jane with Oscar. And then he holds up the grenade instead, ensuring he'll die but also giving her enough time to make a run for it, to survive. And ugh if I’d known from the start how this would go I definitely would not have started shipping them all those eps ago lol

Ugh, back in the bullpen poor bruised Patterson is staring at the photos of Borden and the other Sandstorm operatives and ugh my sweet Jane comes up to check on her and it's super clever how there's originally no sound other than the music, like Patterson is kind of separate from everything. She's holding a little radio scrambler like it’s a talisman and ugh I just feel so sad for her. It's going to be so long before she is comfortable again in her own skin, until she no longer feels betrayed and violated and ruined. And Jane says much the same, telling her how killing Oscar made her feel more betrayed and unsafe. Ugh she's so sweet and supportive and doesn't push when Patterson says she can't feel anything, just makes sure she knows that she's always there for her. Ugh. Jane would die for any member of this team in a heartbeat and it kills me. As does her sorrowful face as poor Patterson walks away. And then ugh my baby goes to the med bay to get the tooth out, which is very symbolic and (hopefully) cathartic, and ugh she's so angry and so far from her usual bubbly self and she refuses any anaesthetic for the pain and ughhhh this is just awful

I'm impressed that Nas actually lets Cade go with the money. Are we sure she didn't poison it somehow, or put a tracker in it, or...? But regardless, Cade refuses to stay and help, and Nas is sounding pretty doom and gloom about their chances of stopping Phase 2. But naw Weller believes in the team, and he's confident that they've weakened Shepherd-- after all, her right-hand man is now dead, and her two former proteges are now on Team FBI (aww, he considers Roman to be on their team). Also speaking of Roman, he's now lying on his bed with his soft sheets and a book and ughhhh I'm so happy to see him smile ugh my baby puppyyyy. I hope that he remembers these little signs of love when the truth about the zipping comes out...

Ooooh Reade deliberately left without talking to Weller, calling Zapata on her 'bluff'-- but ugh given the stunned and upset look on her face, it was no bluff. She knows she's going to have to go to Weller now, even if it costs her her best friend. And ugh she shows up at Weller's door, rather than just walking right into his office when she had the chance-- like she had to go home and mentally prepre herself/talk herself into it. And of course Weller lets her straight in and ugh he looks so concerned both for her and for Reade and ughhhhh he's such the Dad of this family ughhhh

Sigh Oliver texted Jane and she went right to him. I suppose it's sweet that he cooked this whole fancy meal as an apology... and then ugh she kisses him, probably to shut him up so she doesn't have to hear that accent anymore-- and tbh I'm actually glad when the guys show up to kidnap them before any items of clothing have come off. Now THIS is one scene that I don't mind seeing interrupted...!

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #we're getting closer to the Jeller every single week ugh

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