#partial did community

[pdid-safe-space]

the lack of resources on p-did is really annoying. i wish there was more public accounts and other stuff

that aside, does anyone ever feel like they're just a filter through which other alters' emotions pass through? or a medium for other alters' emotions and intentions if i'm making sense

yeah, it's really unfortunate,, i'm lucky to have been able to find some resources in my native language but they're also few and took multiple hours to find since most things are just the icd entry for p-did (i've actually found it to be harder to find p-did resources in english than my native language which is. wild)

and yeah, i do feel like that sometimes! especially since if alters want to talk with someone outside the system i usually have to write/communicate for them. or sometimes i'll start being annoyed by or hating something that i normally really like (e.g. the other day i was feeling pretty confused when i was getting really irrationally angry over bird chirping despite normally loving bird chirping, turns out it was feelings from another alter who was really annoyed from high-pitched sounds)

[botanical-garden-system]

Hey, it’s not your fault. You were just a kid. You may still BE a kid. But I know a few things for certain:

You didn’t ask to be born into this world.

You didn’t ask to be treated the way that you were treated—whether it was by bullies, parents, or other family members.

You didn’t ask to “be a burden” to your caregivers, you deserved that space to be loved and safe

You didn’t ask for your consent to be broken.

You didn’t ask for the shame and guilt someone put you through.

You aren’t bad for something happening to you. You aren’t your trauma.

I’m sorry if you were ever made to feel that way, and I know that may never mean much coming from a stranger, but I know it’s something I wish I heard more.

[coolhumanoidbeing]

Shout out to people with Complex Dissociative Disorders (parents edition):

If your parents genuinely changed and improved overtime

If your parents were absent when you were a kid because they were sick / ill / working / otherwise indisposed

If your parents were not your abusers

If your parents would have acted differently if they knew you were being abused

If your parents didn't have the resources or knowledge to help / understand you

If your parents were loving and yet still neglectful

If your parents inadvertently invalidated / didn't believe you, but now do

If your parents weren't your primary caregivers when the abuse happend

If you weren't abused at all and your trauma was medical / environmental / etc

Had emotionally and physically present parents but you still had disorganized attachment with them as a kid because of your delusions / paranoia / etc.

If your parents regret how they treated you

If your parents loved and love you but acted the way they did because of substances / mental illness

If your parents are not completely bad people, or bad people at all

If you still get along with your parents regardless of what they did

If you ever invalidated your own traumatic childhood experiences because your parents were "too nice"

Your trauma is not less valid if you get along with your parents today. Sure, you needed disorganized attachment to your primary caregivers as a kid to develop a CDD. But that can take plenty of formes, and they don't all include your parents being monsters.

Edit: any other emotions regarding your parents are also valid and okay, and I couldn't mean that more. Childhood trauma survivors go through so many rough emotions, and self-invalidation is sadly way too common. Your feelings are a direct result of what happened and that makes them normal.

[sir-anon-acc]

Hey! If you are anti-endo or pro-endo, please keep reading!

We are traumagenic, and have only recently started learning about endogenic systems. I am aware of the fact that an endogenic system is one that forms without trauma, but I am entirely confused about it in every other aspect.

I have searched quite a bit, but I'm struggling to find any unbiased information whatsoever. I am aware that DID/OSDD are not the only type of disassociative or identity disorders, so I am attempting to be open-minded here, but I just don't have enough information to morally form an opinion.

I'm hoping that by crosstagging just a little and stating my stance that I can get both sides of the argument in the replies. Please, if you are anti-endo and have reason and resources, or you are pro-endo/an endogenic system and have reason and resources, please reply to this in some way. Please don't come for me in any way, I'm simply trying to educate myself on the matter. Until we have further information, I will remain endo-neutral, and I will do my best to keep an entirely open mind. :)

[neuroticboyfriend]

shoutout to systems with only a few members that front, even if that's only one member. no matter how big or small your system is, no matter how you count how many of you there are. your experience is real because you experience it. our brains are very complex and weird and there's no reason your experience is "wrong" or "invalid." you don't have to live up to anyone's standard. you can just exist. all of you.

[rare-average-system]

My new symbol for DID/OSDD

A group of friends and I were talking today in our group chat about a "logo/symbol/icon" for DID and how the current one that exists is for still attributed to MPD and more broadly with Plurality, and wanting something fresh and not tied with broad Plurality outside of CDD systems.

The conversation inspired me a small bit into creating a version I felt represented myself better as someone with DID and CDD systems who may also relate. This is the sorta quick idea I came up with and will be the new pfp on this blog.

What the design represents to me:

3 faces on top of each other = the blending/cofrronting/influence ect

Multiple tree/root systems= how alters split, connect, relate to others + more complex alter relationships or subsystem connection

half inside / half outside = shared memory, non fronting alter awareness, fronting vs non fronting alters

Composition = resembles a “wishing” dandelion = wish for healing, system harmony, peace, ect....

A bit different from what I usually post on this account but thought I'd share it with the community as well.

Y'all (CDD systems) are free to use the image if you'd like, just credit plz

[bunnidid-reviews]

CDD Writing Prompt: Loosing Time

I welcome everyone with a CDD to talk about their experiences, or write an excerpt on how they would like to see this aspect written in media :-)

If you don’t feel comfortable for any reason tying this to an account, feel free to send your writing through an ask on anon, just be sure to mention which prompt you’re referring to!

———

In CDD media, there are tropes I come across for loosing time. I’m curious to know if you relate to any of these or if they’re different than what you’d describe. Here are some common tropes I stumble upon about loosing time:

The scene blinks to another scene, the character seems completely confused as to how they got there, as though they’ve completely blacked out and have no reference as to how or why they got there.

The character has people they don’t know they talk to, or even an entire life they’re unaware of, like a job they didn’t know they had

Switching is very clear-cut, there’s no blendiness or co-consciousness beyond maybe a few words shared between parts. Its as if the part switching in is entirely robbed of all senses of the outside world

There’s often no retrospection or recollection of what happened in the gap of time that’s been lost

Do you relate to any of these tropes? If you could explain how it feels to loose time, how would you? Or, how would you write a scene about a character that’s loosing time like you are?

[burningsolarsystem]

I swear, when my headmates start getting annoying, I feel like a mother yelling at misbehaving children in the back of the car. Like "Don't make me come back there."

Even funnier since I'm front stuck, so it's more like "I swear, I'll find a way back there. I'll do it."

And they agree that if I did manage to fully switch out of front, it would be to scold one of them for being stupid.

Bonus:

When planning to make this post, I was hit with the thought of "what if people read this and think I'm abusive to my alters?" And started mini panicking about "What if I am actually abusive to them? Only to realize I'm basically a chihuahua to them. And then I got told that they view me the same as the system littles. Which I responded to with "excuse me? I'm 15- no wait. I'm 17- still no. I'm 19. There we go! I'm 19, thank you very much.

And doesn't that just sum things up?

[pdid-culture-is]

P-DID host culture is yes, I'm in full front 24/7, doesn't mean I am myself, I'm a blurry mess, almost constantly.

- 🥚🍳

.

[echoes-in-the-multiverse]

"So, which alter is the real you?"

Written whilst the system was blurry.

This is a personal post with educational explanations.

This question insinuates a few misconceptions about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).

Firstly, the word 'real' in this context implies that the asker believes only one dissociative identity truly exists, while the others are either fabricated or hallucinations. This misconception is not only dismissive but also reinforces the harmful stereotype that DID is not a legitimate condition. It perpetuates the false belief that individuals with DID are simply experiencing psychosis or should be misdiagnosed with a different disorder, such as schizophrenia. This misunderstanding can lead to a lack of proper support for those living with DID, who have distinct and valid identities formed as a response to trauma that initially began in early childhood. All dissociative identities within an individual are real. In DID, multiple dissociative identities have the ability to take executive control, allowing them to interact with the environment. However, the ability to take control should not be the sole measure of their reality. Disorders like OSDD and PDID also involve alters who may not be able to or reluctantly take executive control, yet they are equally real. The existence and significance of a part is determined by their role and presence within the system. 

Secondly, the question mistakenly separates the different parts of a person with DID as if they are distinct, individual entities. In reality, each part is a fragment of the whole individual, meaning that every part is the “real you.” This ties into the outdated concept reflected in the name "Multiple Personality Disorder," which suggests that a person with DID has multiple, fully-formed personalities. In truth, DID involves dissociative identities, each representing a fragment of one complete personality. When integrated, these fragments come together to form the singular personality of the entire individual.

This misunderstanding also leads to the belief that the main host is not an alter, and that only the other identities are. The host is an alter, there is no single "core" or "original personality". Many try to explain this through the analogy of a shattered bowl, asking, "If a bowl breaks, which piece is the original?" However, this metaphor doesn’t accurately represent DID because it implies there was once a whole, unbroken personality that fragmented. In DID, there was never a singular, intact "bowl" to begin with. The system’s personality remained divided due to amnesia and trauma and was never able to form one personality. 

A more fitting metaphor is that of a stained glass window. Each piece of stained glass is meticulously crafted to fit with the others, just as each alter in DID is formed by the brain to complement the others. If all parts were to integrate, they would form a complete personality just as a stained glass window is whole when its pieces are assembled. This analogy avoids the implication that something is "missing" or "broken" and instead highlights how each part is essential to the survival and functionality of the individual as a whole. Even when not assembled a stained glass window is not considered broken and people with DID are not broken.

This is a personal post with educational explanations.

Written whilst the system was blurry.

[myths-of-creation-coining]

Soul Attraction

Soul Attraction is a form of Spiritual attraction where one is attracted to a person's soul as a result of being soulmates or the belief that one is tied to the subject of attraction through fate.

Flag colors meaning: Dark pink for feminine attraction, Dark blue for masculine attraction, white for neutral/non-gender specific attraction, and a red looped string/ribbon in the center representing the red string of fate.

-Angel

[pdid-safe-space]

the other ask actually reminded me of something; i'm curious, but did other p-did systems think they were osdd-1b before finding out about p-did?

we've known we're a system for roughly 10 years now and for most of it we said we were osdd-1b despite not really feeling like we belong because we barely had any switches at all, since the p-did diagnosis in the icd didn't exist until 2022 (i think?)

[botanical-garden-system]

Someone drowning in 6 feet of water is as equally dead as a person drowning in 20 feet of water.

Please stop comparing trauma and making it a challenge. It’s trauma. Not a competition or medal.

[tseldoesdiscourse]

Dear Anti Endos,

We're Curious. Very Much So.

What Is Your Issue With Endogenic And Other Forms Of Non-Traumagenic Plurality? What Do You Think Endos Are Definition Wise (Asking This Because Many Of You Have The Wrong One)?

Why Do So Many Of You Spit Such Vitriol Comments Towards These People? Many Of Which Are Minors / Under 18. They Aren't (For The Most Part) Actively Harassing/Harming You Guys.

We've Browsed Through The Anti-Endogenic System Community Here On Tumblr And Through Anti-Endo Tags, And It Just Baffles Us How Little You Truly Know About Non-Traumagenic Plurality And How Wrong Some Of Your Information On Plurality In General Is.

We're Scrolling Through The Anti Tag As We're Writing This. Non-Traumagenic Plurality Is Not Always A Spiritual Belief. Endogenic Systems Can And Do In Fact Share Some Traits With CDD And Non-Disordered Traumagenic Systems.

I don't care about endos as long as they're staying out of CDD spaces. I am against the toxicity in their community and consider myself anti endo but I don't actually give a shit about them cause they only matter on the internet and I have bigger things to worry about than some kid who wants to create an alter ego for their online persona.

This... This Is Just Blatantly Wrong. We Have Seen Nothing But Kindness And Positivity In Endo And Pro-Endo Spaces For The Most Part. Are There Toxic Endos? Of Course, But Goodness Gracious Beings, The Majority Of Us Aren't Actually Terrible People Like Many Of You Make Us Out To Be.

We've Seen More Toxicity In Anti-Endo Spaces Actually. For Awhile Before Syscovery, We Were An Anti-Endo "Singlet". We Were Angry, And Would Often Fight Others Online About How Terrible They Were When In Reality, They Did Nothing To Us. They Weren't Terrible At All. We, Were The Horrible Ones.

Endogenic Systems Aren't All "Kids Creating Online Alter-Egos/Personas". They're Real, Living, Breathing People Who Exist In A Way Similar To You. There Are Endos Offline And In Your Physical Spaces As Well As The Online Ones. They Exist, They Are There, And Their Experiences Are Entirely Real. And Adult Endogenic/Non-Traumagenic Systems Exist Too! It's Not All Minors Experiencing This.

The Posts Some Of You All Make Are Absolutely Atrocious And Ignorant. You Refuse To Listen To Endos, Even If They're Trying To Be Civil Because They're "Not Real", "Faking", Or "Ableist".

TW: R-Slur, Sui-baiting Mention

Also What The Actual Fuck Is This. Why Would You, Even If You Can Reclaim It, Call Other People Something That Was Used To Belittle You And Others Like You For Years???

And We Found A Post Telling Pro-Endos To Shut Up That Said 'Kys'. That Behavior Is Not Acceptable From Anyone. It Doesn't Matter Who You Are, Or Who You're Saying It To. It Is Blatantly Wrong.

Oh, And This Carrd? We'll Be Making A Post About It. Because Most (If Not All) Of The Information Provided Is Plain Wrong. It Claims To Be Correcting Misinformation, When All It Does Is Spread More About A Different Community.

Your Tags Are Horrendous. Goodness Gracious How Do Y'all Go About Saying Those Things?

[degeneracyismylegacy]

I fucking miss my headmates. I don't even know where they are. My therapist thinks I'm "cured" but I KNOW, I can feel that there's still some of them inside but I can't hear them. I hate it, I spent the majority of my life with headmates, I love them to bits, and yes we weren't always functionnal and yes it was hell most of the time but I'd give anything for us to have the communication we used to, not being with them makes me want to DIE.

[magicbungelic]

Any tips on trying to improve communication between alters ? Or just trying to have any communication at all ? Especially as a p-did system host (which is what I believe is the case for me)

I can't access headspace (if we even have any), can't communicate with any of them at all, I just feel them when they're there with me and the changes they cause in my behaviour, but whenever I try to make any effort to acknowledge they're there they just retreat :(

I don't even know their names (besides an introject with a very strong presence), please send any tips if you have any !

DNI transharmful/transid and pro para