pdid-culture-is

[pdid-culture-is]

.

(This user presumably wanted to send this anonymously but forgot to do that so we're posting it like this)

[pdid-culture-is]

P-DID culture is despite being in front 24/7 having a feeling creep up that you will disappear as a host in a few months, I am beyond terrified of that, I don't ever wanna give up being the host despite the struggles. It's so terrifying I don't want this feeling to be true, yes host changes happen, yes, it happened to us as well at some point, BUT I'M HERE NOW PLEASE I HAVE A PURPOSE I CAN KEEP I HAVE A PURPOSE PLEASE DON'T REPLACE ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! I SWEAR I'M STILL USEFUL

.

[pdid-culture-is]

Pdid culture is having none of the others front since NOVEMBER 😭😭😭

.

[pdid-culture-is]

(questioning in my case) pdid culture is wondering if that weirdly intense change in opinion that suddenly happened is normal or if thats someone else

.

[pdid-culture-is]

Pdid culture is not knowing if a headmate you didn’t know exist is new or if she’s just been chilling and not wanted to try front until now. （She knew a lot about herself though so I assume she’s been here a while)

- 🌷🐍 anon

.

[pdid-culture-is]

P-did culture is I cannot leave front but these two can sit here with me, which would be fine but they’re just talking to each other and I can’t focus because I keep like overhearing(?) random fun facts

.

[pdid-culture-is]

// a bit venty ?

pdid culture is don’t get me wrong I’m glad the memory discontinuity and detachment isn’t as frequent but it feels like I have nowhere to go, even if by many means we could be considered at least osdd. we have grey outs, tend to switch and dissociate much more often than many, get identity confusion, get memories and emotions blocked regularly, and feel like oftentimes different people at different points of life. but even then im still wondering if any of this is valid and feel like I can’t talk to anyone from the osddid community for advice, comfort, even connection, because among all this there’s also that detail that I’m technically fronting a good 95% of the time

i get it’s not that bad technically but it absolutely cannot be described as “just feeling a bit off sometimes and switching every once in a blue moon” for me

.

[pdid-culture-is]

(questioning) p-did culture is one day having a bunch of communication and finding out an alters name and even having an alter cofront without a negative trigger (rare) and then the next day(s) absolutely nothing. radio silence. (it really makes me feel like I'm just losing my mind or imagining it)

.

[pdid-culture-is]

P-DID culture is having your first full front switch and now you've been stuck like this for months (took a long while to get used to because I'd never fully fronted before).

.

[pdid-culture-is]

PDID culture is why would we ever open up about being plural? Why does it matter? Most people would only be talking to me, the host, anyway. Other alters very rarely front to begin with. Like yeah, it's undeniable that being a system affects us in many ways, but why does it matter if we're open about it or not? It doesn't even matter if it's only me the world knows

-🐍🍮

.

[pdid-culture-is]

P-DID culture is finding out a former frequent fronter is rather suddenly dormant and not understanding why, like, why brain, he was active in front only a few months ago, we sibling " fought " while he was co fronting only not long ago but several alters who were close to her are saying he went dormant. I can't even go check myself because I'm stuck here and that's so URGH frustrating.

- 🥚🍳

.

[pdid-culture-is]

(Questioning/denial) PDID culture is having radio silence so assuming I was making everything up, then someone yells “shut up” and it’s like oh fuck guess you’re still here

.

[pdid-culture-is]

p-did culture is getting a severe headache and oops! no more fronting for anyone that isn't the host!

.

[pdid-culture-is]

p-did culture is having a hard time distinguishing between some of your headmates, not because they’re indistinct, but because the host is always sort of… peeking through. like when markers bleed onto the next page in a sketchbook and the colors on that next drawing become muddy.

.

[pdid-culture-is]

Questioning pDID culture is a cycle of thinking you're making up the Others, but reading pDID experiences and they fit so well and explain why you're never fully blacked out when Others are around, and pDID havers also feel like they're making up their Others so maybe, but maybe you're just misunderstanding and actually you're just making up the Others-

Also questioning pDID when ur autistic culture is not knowing how much a Normal Human Personality varies so maybe feeling like different people is normal and you're just misunderstanding because all you know about Normal Humans come from fictional media.

Hope this is ok :) [smile]

-🪞host

.

[pdid-culture-is]

To all the P-DID systems out there, I promise you will find the one/s that will love you fully, if host or not, if frequent fronter or not, if very talkative or not, if interacting a lot or not. There will be someone or even several people out there appreciating every single one of you, no matter what, front times don't equal how much someone loves and appreciates you, communication doesn't either. I have only pretty recently met people who will try their best to understand everyone, and will love and appreciate them no matter how much they front, or rather do not front. Those people are very dear to me and a lot of others in this system, even if not everyone likes or knows those friends, these friends fully accept and understand that, and I appreciate them a lot for that.

- 🥚🍳

!!!

[pdid-culture-is]

Pdid culture is wanting to imagine the front as like a controller or sm to help with switching but I feel bad because I get the most time on the controller :(

-[💫🪐-ΔΩ]

.