#vegan floss
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Pros of Silk Floss:
Cruelty-free: the practices used to harvest the silk ensures that the worms remain alive throughout the process.
Biodegradable: comes in a completely biodegradable package.
Fully compostable: It can take as little as 3-6 months to compost in a commercial facility or 6-10 months in your home compost bin.
No chemicals: Most flosses require something to help them glide through the gaps between your teeth. Our Silk floss is coated with Candelilla wax, which passes through your teeth smoothly without contaminating your body.
No artificial colors or fragrances: We use essential oils to give flavor and smoothness. TRY IT NOW
AT WWW.LUCKY-TEETH.COM
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Pumpkin Congee (Vegan)
#vegan#breakfast#lunch#dinner#east asian cuisine#porridge#congee#pumpkin#squash#kabocha squash#rice#sticky rice#shallots#garlic#green onion#vegan meat floss#soy sauce#sesame seeds#coconut sugar#sesame oil#black pepper#sea salt#🧡
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Femme Fatale Guide: Purse Essentials For Day & Night (or Any Activity In Between)
Daytime Handbag Essentials:
Keys
Wallet/cardholder (ID[s], credit/debit cards, spare cash – enough for an emergency cab/train ticket, a bottle of water, and a cheap snack plus a little extra is my formula)
Phone/phone charger
Airpods/headphones
Mini sunscreen
Hand lotion
Floss picks in a travel floss dispenser
Mini disposable toothbrushes
Breath mints
Portable stain remover wipes
Hand sanitizer
Lip balm/your everyday lip color
Eyeliner
Brow pencil
Power foundation
Contour/blush stick
Oil blotting sheets
Roll-on perfume
Hair ties
Foldable mini hair brush
Feminine hygiene wipes
Panty liners/pads/tampons
Travel case bandaids
Condoms (not in a wallet, please)
A pen or two
Portable sticky notes
Travel pack of tissues
Spare glasses/contacts & contact solution
Sunglasses
OTC pain relief medicine
Water bottle
Non-perishable snacks (I recommend Larabars, Lupini beans/roasted chickpeas/edamame, roasted nuts/trail mix snack packs, Lupii/Raw Rev vegan protein bars, and freeze-dried fruit)
Nighttime Handbag Essentials:
Keys
Wallet/cardholder (ID[s], credit/debit cards, spare cash – enough for an emergency cab/train ticket, a bottle of water, and a cheap snack plus a little extra is my formula)
Phone/portable phone charger
Mini sunscreen
Hand lotion
Floss picks in a travel floss dispenser
Mini disposable toothbrushes
Breath mints
Portable stain remover wipes
Hand sanitizer
Lip balm/your everyday lip color
Eyeliner
Brow pencil
Mini power foundation
Roll-on perfume
Hair ties
Foldable mini hair brush
Feminine hygiene wipes
Panty liner (and maybe a pad/tampon, depending on the time of the month)
Portable makeup remover wipe (or two)
Portable cleansing towelette (or two)
Travel case bandaids
Condoms (at least two – not in a wallet, please)
Disposable foot socks
OTC pain relief medicine
Vitamin B-complex, Vitamin C, and Vitamin D supplement (one of each – for after or the morning after drinking)
Necessary Edit: This list is meant to be a comprehensive guide, designed to be personalized. If you don't think you need some of these items, [pick and choose at your discretion].
#girl tips#girl talk#feminine hygiene#office supplies#makeup essentials#skincare products#beauty products#health and wellness#healthy snack#perfume#haircare#safe sex#pain relief#sun protection#eyecare#morning after#skincareproducts#femme fatale#dark femininity#dark feminine energy#it girl#high value woman#the feminine urge#high value mindset#female excellence#dream girl#queen energy#female power#glow up tips#femmefatalevibe
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Okay we stayed up all night again by accident. However we have: shaved head; done psoriasis treatment; taken meds, inhalers, and vitamins; washed, exfoliated, and moisturized face; brushed and flossed teeth; drunk a liter of water; microwaved and eaten vegan kimbap; hung clean clothes up in the bathroom. We will now take a brief nap while listening to a podcast (Betwixt?), then shower and start a load of laundry. We have PT at 2 and there is a winter weather advisory so we will need to leave early. Ideally leave time to call MCO first so you can follow up about insurance ID and confirm the correct number. ALSO: ask if they can cut back to once a week because if you miss more than 3 appointments they drop you as a patient and you can't commit to 2x a week reliably with your migraines.
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Nothing Goes To Waste
You took my ashes and turned them in makeup My gray eyes are now your gray eye shadow I guess I should just be happy I'm still of use to you Even if you were the one to burn my pillar of salt Taking what's left of my bones and carving them into flutes to sell at the farmers market Yet every note that's played is wrong I was never in tune to begin with
Take the tattoos on my arms and legs and make them into patches for your vegan leather jacket Dry them out until they are brittle and cracked Dehydrated human snack sticks Take a bite and be the cannibal you claimed you were I just want you to be honest about something
Turn my teeth into jewellry that you wear around your neck with pride It didn't even hurt as you pulled them out in my sleep Dental floss makes a wonderful quick fix And my teeth are popcorn kernel explosions Push the sewing needle through It's Christmas decorations made in the very bottom of Alighieri's ninth circle
Save the hair in little lockets You can claim you loved me when you want attention Pretend that your not the one who drove this car accident Through the windshield I guess they are serious when they say where a seat belt I should've tucked and rolled But you got what you wanted in the end And I guess I'll be happy for you
A thousand lacerations as we push through the window I'll bleed out here in your lawn Consider it a gift, like a cat with a dead mouse Except this mess is a little harder to clean up Hey, if corpses could clean, I'd happily scrub the brain matter of your walls
#writers and poets#poems on tumblr#original poem#poem#poetry#spilled thoughts#spilled feelings#spilled writing#writing#my writing#spilled poetry#spilled emotions#spilled words#writers on tumblr#poets and writers#creative writing#writerscommunity#writer#Nothing Goes to Waste#crmsnmth#codependency#psychological abuse
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Fresh Start: A Teenage Girl’s Clean Hygiene Routine
Maintaining good hygiene is essential for teenage girls and young women to feel confident, healthy, and empowered. Here's a comprehensive clean hygiene routine tailored specifically for us:
1. Daily Shower or Bath:
- Use a mild, pH-balanced body wash or soap to cleanse the entire body, paying extra attention to areas prone to sweat and odor, such as underarms and feet.
- Gently exfoliate the skin 2-3 times a week to remove dead skin cells and prevent clogged pores.
- Rinse thoroughly with lukewarm water to avoid stripping the skin of its natural oils.
2. Hair Care:
- Wash hair 2-3 times a week with a sulfate-free shampoo suitable for your hair type (dry, oily, curly, etc.).
- Use a conditioner after shampooing to moisturize and detangle hair, focusing on the ends.
- Limit the use of heat styling tools and protect hair from damage by using a heat protectant spray before styling.
- Trim split ends regularly to maintain healthy hair growth.
3. Facial Cleansing:
- Wash your face twice daily, morning and night, with a gentle facial cleanser suitable for your skin type (dry, oily, combination, sensitive, acne-prone, etc.).
- Use lukewarm water and avoid harsh scrubbing, which can irritate the skin.
- Apply a non-comedogenic moisturizer after cleansing to hydrate the skin and prevent dryness.
4. Dental Care:
- Brush teeth at least twice a day, morning and night, using fluoride toothpaste and a soft-bristled toothbrush.
- Floss daily to remove plaque and food particles from between teeth and along the gum line.
- Rinse with an alcohol-free mouthwash for added freshness and to kill bacteria.
- Visit the dentist for regular check-ups and professional cleanings every six months.
5. Feminine Hygiene:
- Change sanitary pads or tampons every 4-6 hours during menstruation to maintain freshness and prevent odor.
- Wash the genital area with a mild, fragrance-free soap and water daily, paying attention to hygiene during menstruation.
- Use breathable cotton underwear and avoid tight-fitting clothing to promote air circulation and prevent moisture buildup.
6. Nail Care:
- Keep nails trimmed and filed to prevent breakage and maintain a neat appearance.
- Clean under the nails regularly to remove dirt and bacteria.
- Apply a moisturizing hand cream to keep hands soft and hydrated.
- Avoid biting or picking at nails and cuticles to prevent infection and damage.
7. Deodorant and Antiperspirant:
- Apply a deodorant or antiperspirant daily to underarms to control sweat and odor.
- Choose a product that suits your body's needs and preferences, whether it's a roll-on, stick, or spray.
8. Sun Protection:
- Apply a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30 to exposed skin daily, even on cloudy days.
- Reapply sunscreen every 2 hours, especially if swimming or sweating heavily.
- Wear protective clothing, such as hats and sunglasses, and seek shade during peak sun hours to minimize sun exposure.
Remember, good hygiene goes beyond physical cleanliness—it also involves taking care of your mental and emotional well-being. Practice self-care, prioritize sleep, eat a balanced diet, stay hydrated, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. By incorporating these habits into your daily routine, you'll not only look and feel your best but also cultivate a healthy lifestyle for years to come.
Here's a list of products for a hygiene routine that are healthy , affordable ,cruelty free, vegan ,non comedogenic , no alcohol , no fragrance and that doesn’t support genocide:
1. Daily Shower or Bath:
- Cleanser: CeraVe Hydrating Body Wash
- Moisturizer: Vanicream Moisturizing Cream
- Sunscreen: EltaMD UV Clear Broad-Spectrum SPF 46
2. Hair Care:
- Shampoo: Acure Simply Smoothing Coconut & Marula Shampoo
- Conditioner: Desert Essence Fragrance-Free Conditioner
3. Facial Cleansing:
- Cleanser: CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser
- Moisturizer: Vanicream Moisturizing Cream
4. Dental Care:
- Toothpaste: Hello Oral Care Fluoride-Free Whitening Toothpaste
- Mouthwash: Desert Essence Natural Refreshing Tea Tree Oil Mouthwash
5. Feminine Hygiene:
- Menstrual Cups: DivaCup Model 1 or Model 2
- Menstrual Pads: Natracare Ultra Pads with Wings
- Tampons: Cora Organic Cotton Tampons
6. Nail Care:
- Nail Clippers: Tweezerman Stainless Steel Nail Clipper
- Nail File: OPI Crystal Nail File
7. Deodorant and Antiperspirant:
- Deodorant: Schmidt's Fragrance-Free Sensitive Skin Deodorant
8. Sun Protection:
- Sunscreen: EltaMD UV Clear Broad-Spectrum SPF 46
9. Oral Care:
- Toothpaste: Hello Oral Care Fluoride-Free Whitening Toothpaste
- Dental Floss: Radius Vegan Xylitol Dental Floss
10. Body Care:
- Body Wash: Alaffia Everyday Shea Body Wash
- Body Lotion: Everyone Unscented 3-in-1 Lotion
Remember to always check the ingredient lists and certifications to ensure they align with your values and preferences. Additionally, prices and availability may vary depending on location and retailer.
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Lilith in colour floss
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Empowering your skin and hygiene routine: My favorite products
When it comes to self-care, taking care of your skin and hygiene is a beautiful way to nourish not only your body but also your soul. These six products are staples in my daily routine, and I’m excited to share how they’ve empowered my journey towards healthier skin and an overall sense of well-being. Whether you’re seeking clarity, freshness, or confidence, these products offer the tools to help you feel your best—inside and out.
Table of Contents
Paulas Choice Facial Exfoliant
Youth to the People Facial Cleanser
Thayers Witch Hazel Facial Toner
Marvis Toothpaste
TheraBreath Mouthwash
Megable Deodorant
Disclosure: As an affiliate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.
Paulas Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Salicylic Acid Facial Exfoliant
For Clearer, Smoother Skin
If you’ve ever struggled with blackheads, enlarged pores, or uneven texture, this exfoliant is a game-changer. It’s the best exfoliant I’ve ever used for clearing blackheads and keeping pores unclogged. It’s gentle enough for daily use, yet incredibly effective at reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Incorporating this into my routine has felt like a transformative experience. Every application feels like shedding layers of stress and letting my true, glowing skin shine through.
Why I Love It:
Clears stubborn blackheads and prevents new ones from forming
Minimizes the appearance of pores and fine lines
Leaves skin feeling smooth, refreshed, and radiant
Youth to the People Superfood Kale and Green Tea Facial Cleanser
For a Daily Refresh
This cleanser has been my go-to for years, and for good reason. It’s a perfect blend of kale and green tea, offering the nourishment your skin needs without stripping it of essential moisture. It’s gentle enough for all skin types, making it an inclusive choice for anyone looking to refresh and cleanse. Each wash leaves my skin feeling like a fresh start, a way to reset and reclaim my glow.
Why I Love It:
Gentle yet powerful, perfect for removing makeup and impurities
Vegan and cruelty-free, aligning with a holistic, eco-conscious approach
Nourishes and balances skin, leaving it soft and smooth
Thayers Alcohol-Free Rose Petal Witch Hazel Facial Toner
For Hydration and Healing
I’ve been using this toner since I was 16, and it remains a staple in my skincare routine. With its soothing blend of rose petals, witch hazel, and aloe vera, it feels like a calming ritual every time I apply it. It gently tones and tightens, leaving my skin hydrated, clear, and smooth. This product is a testament to how self-care can be simple yet deeply nourishing.
Why I Love It:
Hydrates and clarifies without any harsh chemicals
Dermatologist-tested, perfect for sensitive skin
Infused with natural ingredients to soothe and protect
Marvis Classic Strong Mint Toothpaste
For Long-Lasting Oral Care
Oral hygiene is just as essential to feeling empowered and confident, and this toothpaste makes all the difference. I’ve always been prone to cavities, but using Marvis has given me a refreshing clean that keeps my mouth feeling healthy throughout the day. Remember to floss, but if you’re looking for a toothpaste that takes your dental care to the next level, this is the one.
Why I Love It:
Provides a deep, clean feeling that lasts
Helps prevent cavities while freshening breath
Beautiful packaging, making your oral care routine a little more luxurious
TheraBreath Fresh Breath Mouthwash (Rainforest Mint)
For All-Day Freshness
I love this alcohol-free mouthwash for its gentle yet effective approach to freshening breath. It’s refreshing without the burn, which makes it easy to use throughout the day whenever I need a quick pick-me-up. The rainforest mint flavor is invigorating and helps me stay confident no matter where I am or what I’m doing.
Why I Love It:
Alcohol-free, so it won’t dry out your mouth
Keeps breath fresh for hours
Delicious, invigorating mint flavor
Megababe Daily Deodorant (The Green Deo)
For Clean, Natural Protection
Finding a natural deodorant that actually works can be a challenge, but Megababe delivers. This aluminum-free deodorant is a dream for sensitive skin, offering long-lasting protection without any harsh chemicals. The geranium and lemon scent is fresh and energizing, making it a favorite in my daily hygiene routine. Knowing that I’m using a product free of parabens, sulfates, and phthalates gives me peace of mind—and a sense of empowerment over my choices.
Why I Love It:
Aluminum-free and gentle for sensitive skin
Keeps you feeling fresh with a natural, clean scent
Free from harmful chemicals, allowing for mindful and sustainable hygiene
When we take care of our skin and body, we are actively investing in ourselves—creating space for healing, growth, and empowerment. These products have become essential parts of my routine because they support me in feeling confident, refreshed, and connected to my body. Whether you’re already familiar with these items or trying them for the first time, I encourage you to make your self-care a sacred act. Let these tools help you nurture and honor your unique, beautiful self.
Join the Community: Let’s continue the conversation! I’d love to hear about your favorite skincare and hygiene products. Let’s uplift and inspire each other to make empowering, healing choices every day.
#skincare#hygiene#clean girl#growth#healing#self care#self love#empowerment#beutiful#beauty routine#products#sacred#community#inspiration#affiliate links#affiliatemarketing#nourishyourbody#nourishment#confidence#blackheads#pores#exfoliation#face cleanser#face toner#hydration#vegan#crueltyfree#toothpaste#mouthwash#fresh breath
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currently stalked your blog because i love everything you write and i found the post of you talking about how you met your husband. plss i need a 5 page essay on how and where yall went on a first date how he asked to get married how did you know he was the one!! please i love reading about people falling in love and getting married!! if you dont mind spilling the deets ofc 🤭
LOL I can promise you it’s one of the most BORING stories ever.
our first date we went to get vegan ice cream (bc I was a vegan like ok) when I met him. We went to this place near the school we met at and I remember calling him and hiding behind a car being like “sorry I’m not going to make it” JUST TO SEE how he would react and he looked so SAD answering the phone and I jumped out I’m like “I’m just kidding!” Like blame my sag moon for being a clown with all men.
I guess I knew he was the one when I felt so comfortable with him. I could really be myself with him and he never judged me for it. Not even when I told him weird things, or flossing in front of him, or when I passed gas in front of him. One of our first dates I told him I had a migraine and he pulled over and just had the car running letting me sleep for 2 hours so that it would go away. I thought that was something because a lot of men I dated were so mean about it. We had been dating about 6 months when covid hit and I remember that we just moved in together and he really took care of me/got to know who I was. (I was prone to anxiety attacks/depression and they had me on watch and he really invested time taking care of me while working full-time) he had created a routine/schedule for me to follow, working out, playing games, picking up hobbies, etc just so that I would be distracted. I think I knew he was “the one” when I remember he told me “I had a dream we had a daughter and we named her Gracie” and I shit you not Gracie was a girl name I wrote down in my notes app. Lmfaooo this is lame! Anyway that’s the story.
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accomplishments 11/6/23
did half the handle of the tote bag im making for my friend and scalloped the border for frills. im trying to make this as granny as possible bc my friend says her style is granny-core.
further prepped dough to make pizza
prepped rice for fried rice in the morning
made myself breakfast, lunch, and dinner
dinner was a SCRUMPTIOUS vegan corn chowder
walked my dog
painted two paintings. wasted a canvas on a warm up painting but oh well!!!!!
talked to my dad
called my grandfather
made plans with a friend
talked to other friends on a call
dressed in an outfit
brushed and flossed
showered
swept the kitchen floor
had therapy. we finally made real progress-- scratched the surface of something pretty core.
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: FLOSS Rise Above Lengthening Mascara in BLACK 10G, .35 OZ FULL SIZE NEW IN BOX.
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Vegan Inari Sushi
#vegan#appetizer#lunch#dinner#japanese cuisine#inari sushi#sushi#inari age#sushi rice#beets#cucumber#avocado#vinegar#sesame seeds#green onion#tofu scramble#tofu#jackfruit#vegan meat floss#garlic#shallots#soy sauce#nori#vegan mayo#lime#wasabi#customizable
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Our non-toxic nail polish is made without harmful chemicals to support your well-being. Pair it with our collection of eco-friendly products, such as sisal bags for soap, oat milk soap, David’s Toothpaste, bamboo nursing pads, and the refreshing coconut soap bar. Discover the coconut oil soap benefits and enjoy the luxurious coconut scented soap as part of your self-care routine.
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DentiCore: A Breath of Fresh Air for Oral Health
As someone who has struggled with gum sensitivity and occasional bad breath, I've tried countless oral care products. DentiCore, however, has been a game-changer. It's a natural supplement that claims to improve gum health, reduce inflammation, and promote overall oral hygiene.
Product Overview
DentiCore is a blend of carefully selected herbs and botanical extracts known for their potential benefits for oral health. These ingredients include green tea extract, turmeric, ginger, and chamomile, which have been traditionally used to soothe irritated gums, reduce inflammation, and combat bad breath.
Personal Experience
I've been using DentiCore for the past three months and have noticed a significant improvement in my oral health. My gums are less sensitive and no longer bleed when I brush or floss. My breath is fresher throughout the day, and I've even noticed a reduction in the amount of plaque buildup.One of the things I appreciate most about DentiCore is that it's a natural product. It doesn't contain any harsh chemicals or artificial additives that can irritate the gums or upset the delicate balance of the oral microbiome.
Quality and Safety
DentiCore is manufactured in a GMP-certified facility, ensuring that the product meets the highest quality standards. The ingredients used are natural and free from harmful additives or artificial fillers. The supplement is also suitable for vegetarians and vegans.
Conclusion
I've been so impressed with DentiCore that I've recommended it to several of my friends and family members. If you're looking for a natural way to improve your gum health and freshen your breath, I highly recommend giving DentiCore a try. It's a product that truly delivers on its promises.
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Avec Le Cœur Ouvert
No care performance pilgrimage in Paris compares to le mur des je t'aime and its guardian le jardin des abesses.
I've been meditating on readings from Radical Intimacy to On Being Unreasonable, from Poor Artists to What About the R*pists, on how promiscuous° and intentional our care is to be, if it is to make the greatest magic from our greatest power.
Standing before all the world's expressions of love, brought together artfully by Empreinte Signalétique, and passing under the dedication of the abbesses' medicinal garden, one can get swept up in the love of communities present and past.
...As one should.
This kind of awareness opens us to the inherent heart-seeking of humanity. I often say the work I do makes it impossible to believe that people are inherently bad, or that the world is a bad place.
In spite of the very tangible and intentionally-committed atrocities humanity perpetuates inter- and intra-communally, there is always someone in the world leaning into open-hearted hoping in their neighbour... and someone leaning back to do the same.
Care abounds in everyday situations: the angel in disguise at Shakespeare & Company who slid me a tote across the counter because 'We love booksellers here'; the incredible équipe de cuisine at Le Bon Georges who enthusiastically abandoned their own menu to create the most generous vegan meal I've ever had; the theatre-literature-preserving bridge built across oceans with Librairie Théâtrale.
While moving with gratitude for these encounters, I also try to stay awake to the care performed intentionally in the face of inhumanity, with no possibility of rapport-building or reciprocity—the things we tend to find most worthy of investing care into.
[CW: The following image depicts human remains.]
No meditation can quite convey the absolute shared mortality that one is confronted with in the winding corridors of les Catacombes. To move amongst the sheer quantity∞ of human remains moved into Paris' limestone tunnels between 1786 and 1860 silenced me; to know human hands devoted, in some cases, 15 years to transferring the remains of a single cemetery, bone by bone, softened me. The bones that make up les Catacombes are in immaculate condition for their age: each one had to be lowered 20 metres with delicate attention and respect to the person who once contained it.
That those caring for us when we have no agency at all can do so for the sake of the caring itself is immense. And hope-worthy, I think.
That each skull we passed had been lain to rest for posterity next to, in all likelihood, a complete stranger, activated an unexpected stillness in my soul. Here lies evidence that we all come together, one way, or another.
So much of my personal readings and research recently has been focused on the idea that everyone has to receive care, regardless of our individual rapports. It's difficult for me to perform care for people I don't easily connect with; it's near impossible for me to perform care for people who have harmed me.•
In the end, though, we all go to the same earth. My dust may settle into the dust of someone I would have abhorred, and absent my reservations, the Earth takes us back as equally human. And I suppose this knowledge invigorates me to attempt to be more promiscuous and daring with my care while I'm alive—especially because I am privileged and very lucky to have a beautiful community of people who care for me in return, to light the way.
The caring meditation I take from Paris are those words vaulted above the jardin des abesses:
avancer sans avoir avec le cœur ouvert avancer sans avoir
Footnotes
° Promiscuous Care is a conception of care that includes those outside our immediate blood-bound and circumstantial circles that The Care Collective trace back to stranger-focused care performed among New Yorkers during the AIDS crisis. ∞ Mental Floss places this number between 6 and 7 million. The difficulty of quantifying the people laid to rest in les Catacombes is partly due to the depth of each ossuary corridor, which is hard to convey in photographs; the delicately-arranged facades are only the outer wall of layers of bones. • Sonya Renee Taylor argues, comfortingly, that the care of oppressors is a burden to be carried by the community at large as opposed to the oppressed. Here, I refer to the moments I would like to provide caring labour for people who have harmed me as a reclamation of my agency in these relationships.
If you dig this, you can subscribe to my Patreon!
#care#performance#care performance#france#paris#theatre#wellbeing#le mur des je t'aime#les catacombes#the catacombs#the care collective#shakespeare and company#librairie theatrale#thoughts from places#but not the Green brothers#love#lovecore#heartcore#pinkcore#heart aesthetic#travel blog#traveling#light academia#lightcore
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Spotted something delicious in the local rag today while choking down my sad desk lunch. Turns out that cesspit of capitalism where I first dipped my toes into wage slavery after my utterly useless degree is going tits up. Red ink everywhere, shops dropping like flies. Usually I'm not one to wank over financial catastrophe, but this particular nugget of schadenfreude has got me proper moist.
Let me paint you a picture of 2008. Picture baby me, fresh out of the academic womb, slicing processed meat for minimum wage while questioning every life choice that led me there. My supervisor - let's call her Barbara the Basement Creature - was this fetid lump of human wastage who'd been marinading in her own mediocrity for twenty-five years. Wore it like a fucking crown, she did. Everyone else seemed to tolerate her medieval existence, but I wanted to garotte her with dental floss.
Then one day, these two blokes came to my counter, all loved up and domestic. Proper cute, actually. But old Babs? She went full Spanish Inquisition, refused to serve them because their happiness offended her dusty old God or some such bollocks. Just stood there spewing her homophobic bile like it was perfectly normal in the twenty-first century.
Being the righteous little shit I was (am), I reported her faster than a priest in a playground. But here's where it gets properly fucked - the manager, this towering goddess in polyester, told me I'd be the one getting shit-canned if I didn't shut my gob. Because apparently tenure trumps basic human decency.
When I suggested she imagine if someone refused to serve her because of her skin color, she called me racist. Me! I might've grown up in a town so white it glowed in the dark, but I'm not some sister-shagging bigot in a MAGA hat. I just thought maybe, just maybe, discrimination was shit across the board. Revolutionary thinking, clearly.
Took it to the union, fat lot of good that did. Bunch of spineless cunts just wrung their hands and wished me away. My colleagues were about as useful as tits on a fish, especially x the perpetually baked potato who couldn't give two shits because it wasn't his arse on the line.
Manager eventually caught wind of my crusade and promised to make my life more miserable than a vegan at a burger festival. Could've stayed and let them slowly extract my soul through my arsehole, but I fucked off to flip burgers instead. Lateral move in the grand scheme of things, but at least I could sleep at night.
So yeah, seeing their empire crumble like a digestive in hot tea? Pure fucking poetry. Hope those empty shops stand as monuments to their backwards thinking until the heat death of the universe. They can either drag their knuckles into the present century or starve in their hate-caves. Couldn't give less of a toss which.
Christ, is it wine o'clock yet?
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