#unhinged batfam

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Some Future WIP ideas (inspired by songs)

Fic summaries & Songs below <33 (or just go off name alone)

American Healthcare (Penelope Scott)- Jason Centric AU, He goes to Med school and becomes a doctor in Gotham working alongside Leslie (but still hiding the fact he is Jason, because im a sucker for identity shenanigans) and reconnects with his family via Leslies meddling and a Vigilantes tendency to get injured at least once a week

Little Lion Man (Mumford & Sons) +You're gonna go far kid (The Offspring)- Damian Centric AU, one by one his siblings go missing until its up to him as the last bat to take down the big bad and go back to save his family before it's too late. (Lots of scenes of Damian seeing visions/ghosts of his siblings- aka Black Phone vibes)

Eleanor Rigby(Cody Fry) + Providence (Poor Mans Posion)- No Centric, but lots of Tim & Duke focus, having lived in Gotham and fed up by the injustice the kids break from their fathers values and set out to do what Red Hood tried and failed to take as far as it needed to go. They will work together to unite their siblings to a new mission. Can batman really face against his own children?

Stalkers Tango (Autoheart)- + Bust Your Kneecaps (Pompaloose)- Tim centric because he is a creepy little shit and I appreciate unhinged batfam. But make it Timber and its the whole family just supporting their creepy little brother over his obsessive crush (and Bernard whose lowkey into it) (dont worry about the second song, bernard lives)

Kiss With a Fist (Florence + The Machine)- Enemies to Lovers but make it aged up (obvi) DamiJon. Like let Jon have a little temper and Damian have someone who can match his little shit tendencies. They get along like a house on fire (much to the horror of the rest of the hero community) but the chaos possibility is *chefs kiss*

[weirdheadcanons]

Unhinged Batfam = Best Batfam

Don't get me wrong, I looooove the fluffy wholesome batfam, WFA style, and it is always cathartic to watch Canon Bad Dad Bruce get called out in fanfic, but the Unhinged Wholesome version? Gimme!

DC really ought to try and go with that. It isn't like they're ever gonna actually make Batman face the consequences for his bullshit, they could at least fix it this way!

The Bat family version will definitely screw up anyone normal, but it works for them because all of them are unhinged enough to fit together right :)

I mean, come on, we're talking about a bunch of regular humans who dress up to protect the most psycho of DC's psycho cities and terrify metahumans, of course they're unhinged! Don't be cowards, go wild with that!

Like, let's take Tim's 16th birthday (you guys know what I mean...)

Fluffy Wholesome : Good dad Bruce, takes Tim on an outing, there might be a party and gifts, maybe something like a graduation day thing. No test.

Abusive Batman: 'Test' as in canon, annoyed that Tim is 'overreacting' about it, tells him it is necessary training and anyway, no harm done, why the fuss?

Trying-But-Very-Messed-Up Batman: Test as in canon, knows that he betrayed Tim's trust, considers it necessary, says Tim should not trust him, it was trusting him that got Jason killed.

Unhinged Wholesome: Test as in canon, but it is a puzzle meant as a birthday gift to Tim, like going on an amusement park ride. Once it's revealed, Tim is delighted, hugging Bruce with a screech that this was the most exciting birthday ever!

[excarow]

The joke that the bats see their contingency plans as a form of love is super fucking funny, don't get me wrong but honestly they probably do see it as that cause they just forget to say the second part out loud.

"after I've taken you down, obviously I'd find whatever made you like this and then find the cure."

They come from gotham where mind altering substances are basically everywhere. One of the most profound ways a gothamite could say 'i care about you' is admitting to having a plan to disarm/capture you in the case you go off the deep end, so that they could then get you a cure.

Unfortunately for the bats, no one else thinks like that cause what the actual fucks guys

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Unhinged Feral Boyfriends

The whole Batfam is under the assumption that Damian is the feral child. The assassin, the wild one, the demon brat that bites and stabs. Jason usually takes the second place, what with guns, heads in the duffelbag, and being a crime lord.

But Tim? Come on, even Duke is more feral than him. Tim is a nerd, and he keeps to his own devices most of the time, and, sure, sometimes he is plenty unhinged. But he's okay. Seventh place on the unofficial List of Feral Bats.

He's got a boyfriend lately, have you heard? Tim hadn't brought him to the manor for dinner yet, but each and every Bat and Bird have already seen the guy - in person or through the surveillance cameras or background checks, doesn't matter. Either way, Daniel Fenton is quite literally a ray of sunshine.

They look very cute together.

That is, until one day, they witness Danny and Tim rip Joker's ribcage out of his chest.

Nothing could have prepared them for it. It was just another patrol, just another night of fighting crime, nothing out of the ordinary. Sure, Joker was on the loose, but so far, no one has tracked the Clown down or seen any of his goons.

But then, Red Robin's tracker went offline. The Bats started searching for him immediately - his last recorded location, his trackers, his route, everything. But when they managed to find him...

Well.

They didn't only find him in that warehouse.

They found Joker, choking on the ground and clawing at his own neck, like trying to force some air inside his lungs. Over him, Danny was squatting on the ground, his eyes thoughtful and not worried in the slightest, tapping on his chin. And, just a step behind him, Red Robin is holding a fucking ribcage in his hands, studying it with calm curiosity.

"Should we put it back now?" Tim asks, relaxed and easy, like they are speaking about whether they should or should not get another box of cereal in a store.

Danny shrugs, "I mean, if you want to. It's not like he's gonna die in the next ten or so minutes, you've got time."

And then, as Batman makes the slightest of noises, Danny's head snaps to him, and the boy smiles, cheerful and bright. Like the ray of sunshine he is.

"Hi, Bats!" Then he blinks and looks down to Joker, who is already frothing at the mouth, "Oh, don't worry about him, he won't die. Red's just putting a tracker in his manibrium."

"I figured it'd be easier to find him next time if he can't get the tracker out," Tim nods, unbothered, as he is tinkering with the ribcage in his hands before passing it back to Danny, "Okay, done. Put it back."

Danny takes the ribcage and presses it to Joker's chest. And, before they know it, the bones sink inside the man, like a hand in a bowl of sand.

Danny wipes his hands on his jeans and stands. Tim smiles at the Bats, none of whom know what to say and where to start.

The next day, Joker is back at Arkham with a tracker in his sternum, Danny is invited to dinner in the manor, and Tim takes the first place of the Feral List, with a note 'never leave unattended when Danny is nearby'.

[everwalldigan]

Bruce being a toxic boy mom when it comes to nightwing will never not be funny as fuck he is literally the biggest nightwing defender one bad word against him and the next day he’ll show up at ur house

Bonus:

[arrowheadedbitch]

Dick: Let's play two truths and a lie!

Tim: Okay, I have a higher kill count than Damian and Jason combined, I'm pansexual, and I'm toying with the idea of becoming a supervillain when Bruce dies for real.

Dick:

Dick: I don't like this game anymore

[spacedace]

You ever think Dick overhears someone say Jason was the most violent Robin and just gets so mad about it?

And it's not even about like, defending Jason's honor or anything. It's purely because he's just so incredibly insulted that people somehow forgot how much of an unhinged ball of rage he was as a child.

Like I'm imagining him storming into the cave and yanking on his now way too small Robin costume and muttering angrily about I'll show you the angriest Robin

Barbara is facepalming about all the nonsense that's about to pop off that inevitably she's gonna have to clean up. Bruce just starts sweating profusely and desperately trying to talk Dick down because he suddenly remembers that time Dick kicked a criminal so hard they ended up in a coma for a week and smiled so brightly while doing it that the other goons there at the time just chose to jump off a three story building into the suspect sludge that filled Gotham harbor rather than face the unhinged ten year old on bright colors and pixie boots.

Duke: But wasn't Dick the nice one?

Tim, who idolized Dick Grayson's Robin like his own chaotic god: Don't ever insult my favorite Robin that way again. Here are my top thirty photos of him reigning deranged chaotic violence upon his enemies. I'd show you more but this album just has the photos from the first month I started following him and Batman around.

Jason: The hundreds of dead assassins and all the shit I've heard about you and Young Justice suddenly make a lot more sense

[kens-ramblings]

i personally like to think instead of Tim putting on a siren or something when he gave warning for the whole blowing up LOA buildings and stuff he played Blow by Kesha and figured they’d get the hint (it worked surprisingly well). I just think it’s funnier if we let tim be extra cunty even when he’s literally having the worst time in his life :D

i also think it’d be hilarious if like a couple years down the road the batfam still has like no clue what tim did while he was on his bruce hunt. like whenever they ask he just gets a haunted look and says “you don’t wanna know” and calls it a day. but somehow(maybe ra’s sent it to them for some power play type thing???) they get footage of this specific instance. and all of them are looking at tim in varying amounts of horror(except jason, because i also like to think he’s the only one who sees through tim’s normal human mask and sees him as unhinged as he is) and tim has to be like “well shucks guys i needed a little bit of humor in my life at the time idk what to tell you”

[thedevilundercover]

Tim Drake de-aging fic but everyone is just kind blown how that little monster is the Timothy Jackson Drake that they know.

He’s not even a gremlin, he’s just mean and knows a little too much about stuff than the usual rich brat.

Damian: tsk, you’re such a disgrace the Wayne name.

Tiny!Tim: yeah? And your mother should have swallowed, but we’re both here aren’t we?

or

Jason, thinking he could bully smol Timmy: you stopped so low that you replaced a dead boy! *emo edge lord noises*

Baby!Tim, having learned new slang words via duke and Steph who think this whole thing is hilarious: have you ever thought about just getting better?

Jason: ex-fucking-cuse me?

Tim, shrugging: dying really is just a skill issue ngl

it would be even more funny if he was like this only to Damian and Jason so everyone thinks Tim is such a smart, adorable little boy but the two of them are screaming at Dick and Bruce to get that fucking demonic child exorcised

[timblrdrake]

calling dick grayson a millennial will be my favourite thing forever. i feel like the god of all language, he looks at me like i have his throat in my hands every time he uses slang and whether he uses it correctly decides if i crush his windpipe.

“I just yeeted that,” CRINGE. 100 YEARS OF MILLENNIAL JAIL.

“You um, served..” ACCEPTABLE. one crumb of relevancy.

[yjcorefourenjoyer]

Jason: *sees Tim come into the kitchen with a different coffee cup then he left with*

Jason: “dude, how many do you have?”

Tim: “huh?”

Jason: “coffee cups. every time I see you, you have a different one I’ve seen like 14 just today.”

Tim: “well actually I’ve had 23”

Jason: “why do you have so many!? Are you Losing them!? Do they just break or something!?”

*Tim who has been purposely breaking his favorite cups when he feels angry to show himself that when he’s mad things he love disappears*

“Uh……..”

[rorimoon9597]

Jason lay on the ground with Dick and Tim in a circle, their heads in the center. A bag of Skittles was passed around, and it took a small amount of effort to not choke on the candy.

"What if I started my own drug empire?" Jason asked randomly.

"I'd use the basement in Drake manor for that," Tim replied in equal serious measures.

"Why?" Dick asked, genuinely curious.

"It's dark, and large. No one has a reason to go down there, either. You could make and store a lot of drugs in there. Then I'd hand them out to the socialites of Gotham because hen I can over price the drugs and get more money."

"Would that even work?"

"The rich haven't been subjected to many good dealers. If you can get them the drugs they want, then they won't sell you out, and you can scam them without making it seem like a scam."

"You've thought this out, haven't you?" Dick asked.

"I consistently walk a tightrope of Hero and criminal. I could easily fall into the criminal side of things if I wished."

"You're unhinged," Jason commented off-handedly. He grinned. "I like that."

"Thank you." Dick made a noise of concern. "You literally killed the Joker because he boasted about killing Jason then threatened to kill me, Dick. Don't act like you're normal either."

"He became Robin to get revenge on his parent's murderer," Bruce said as he passed by his three sons.

"And you're a fucking furry," Jason muttered under his breath, just loud enough for his siblings to hear.

They promptly broke into laughter.

[wondersinwaynemanor]

a scenario after Bruce comes back.

he's catching up with how everybody is until he sees...

Tim: *holding his and Kon's baby*

Bruce: *feels dizzy and thinks "I just came back home. Do I have another?"*

Bruce, gulps: Is he-is he mine?

Tim: No, he's not.

Bruce: *feels even dizzier and thinks "Did my kids adopt when I was gone?"*

Bruce, holds the edge of the table: So, whose is he, Tim?

Tim: Mine.

Bruce: *feels likes he's actually going to faint now and thinks "I kept telling them about protection, right? Last time I checked, I held a lecture."*

Bruce, does a breathing exercise: I already told you to be responsible -

Tim, shrugs and looks down at the precious bundle on his arms: Mine and Kon's clone baby.

Bruce, shrieks: WAIT, WHAT?????

Tim: A clone, B. Of me and Kon. He's your grandson.

Bruce: *faints*

Kon, appearing from behind door: He pretty much got the same reaction as me.

Tim: *shrugs while cooing for the baby*

Kon: You should have told him after he got some rest.

Tim, shrugs: It's alright. We need everyone unconscious in this house if we are to make a new clone baby of us.

Kon, blinks rapidly: Excuse me?

Tim: You heard me.

Kon, shrieks: WAIT, WHAT????

Tim: I want another, Kon.

Kon: *faints*

[medusas-graveyard]

No killing rule

Phantom: kills Joker very purposely*

Batman: No killing rule!

Phantom, fresh off GIW, was in Bruce's foster care: For your kids, maybe.

Redhood: ...Kid's got a point

[r1z3n]

I was visited by a hilarious image:

Tim Drake Wayne being a wet feral cat of teenage human, talking one look at Jason Todd aka Red Hood and being insulted, INSULTED, that Jason was trying to steal his thing.

"Jason, ... Stop screaming it is just me, ... Of course I know where you live and who you are ... Shut up, not the point. Stop trying to steal my thing, I am the Unhinged Competent Robin okay. I worked really hard to set myself apart from you and Dick, and I won't have you out here ruining that."

Jason, starring at this 5' probably 50kg wet child that just broken into his safe house to tell him off in like civilian clothes: ... Did you uninstall your self-preservation?

Tim *who has been ranting this Entire Time*, now angry about other things: I am not A Robot!! Have you been talking to Roy, because I told him last time I have blood, and bones, and they are owned by me.

Aka the Titan Tower doesn't happen because Jason is suddenly part of the team in stopping Tim from doing the teenage vigilante equivalent of clawing the nice furniture and swatting important stuff off the counter while staring down.

[hyperfixatinator]

Here's a fun idea:

The Batfam's body counts get revealed, ranging from 0 to the hundreds.

But there are only question marks next to Tim's.