#tw: recovering addict
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6/9 - Jason Todd tarot card designs for Complete Candor by @vexfulfolly as part of the @batfam-big-bang
Read the fic here!
Other cards:
1-Babs 2-Cass 3-Bruce 4-Tim 5-Damian 6-Jason 7-Duke 8-Steph 9-Dick
Image IDs
Image 1:
A design of "The Devil" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "THE DEVIL". A symbol of a gravestone is visible behind the numeral "XV".
A young Jason Todd in his Robin uniform tugs at a thick chain around his neck that comes down from the top of the frame. Matching shackles are around his wrists and he is buried up to his waist in dirt. His head is tilted up towards the chain. There is blood on his hands, arms, chest, and dripping down the right side of his face as well as from his nose.
Image 2:
A design of "The Devil" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "THE DEVIL" upside-down. A symbol of a flame is visible behind the numeral "XV".
Jason Todd faces forward, filling most of the frame. He is in his Red Hood uniform and has narrowed pupil-less white eyes. He is holding the end of a thick chain in his right fist. Flames fill the background and bathe him in an orange light. The entire card is upside-down.
#fic rec: complete condor by vexfulfolly#batfam big bang#I did change these two at the LAST MOMENT as to which was upright and which was reversed#becasue visually it seemed better with robin jay as reversed and hood as upright#but thematically. much more the opposite#upright is about being trapped in a shitty situation and being unaware of or powerless to change it#generally in reference to addiction and abuse- both parts of Jason’s character esp pre-death#whereas reversed is closer to like… becoming aware of these and starting to fight against it#which is very much the entirety of jays character as red hood#so I did change them#i also take a little bit of twisted joy in the idea that it looks like jason is trapping himself#because in a way he is- he’s continuing the cycle and is still stuck in that warehouse and in a way he always will be#because he’s never given the chance to properly heal and recover by both the other characters and himself (and bad writing)#which again. very thematically on point with this card#sorry to anyone hoping/expecting for Jason to be Death but I think the Devil is crueller in a way too#dc comics#fanart#jason todd#robin#red hood#batfam#tma#the magnus archives#tarot cards#tarot art#my scribbles#cw blood#tw blood
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Grief is weird I think of you every day, Some days I smile. some days I cry. some days I just drown, drown in the could have beens, should have beens, the unknown. the unknown- is what truly kills us. this wasn't supposed to be this way, i'll spend forever trying to find out why you're not here anymore.
@theaddictspoetry
#recovery#drug addiction#addiction#drug addict#heroin#drugs#addict#poetry#recovering#iv drugs#hard drugs#drugblr#tw drugs#drugcore#druggie#girls who do hard drugs#grief#sad poems#poet#poets#sad poetry#grief poem#dealing with grief#grief journey#tw grief#grief poetry#grieving#emotional#loss#feelings
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I hope you find peace. I hope you find belonging. I hope you find joy. I hope you find rest and rejuvenation. I hope you find comforting solitude. I hope you find release from the emotions stuck inside you. I hope you find the strength to make it through another day. I hope you find people who won't give up on you.
I hope you find these and all the other experiences you need to grow into a healthier, happier, you. You may not know where these things are. You may have never found them in the first place. You may have lost them so long ago, that you don't think that you'll ever get them back.
The good news is, no matter what, life is so complex. It's complex enough that you are far from doomed. You may have done something today that's setting off a beautiful butterfly effect, where you will find these things - where you will find life beyond your wildest dreams.
So, if you'd like, let's walk together down this uncertain road. Let's walk through all the fog, all the fear, all the unknown ahead, with blind hope that there might just be something wonderful waiting on the other side.
I mean, you're already reading this, aren't you? And I wrote it. We're connected, now. You don't have to do this alone. I'm here, and so are the rest of us lost and scared souls. I'll be here for you when you don't know how to have hope. Just keep going, okay?
#softspoonie#positivity#hope#hopecore#hopepunk#reasons to live#reasons to keep going#mental health matters#recovery#recovering alcoholic#recovering addict#addiction recovery#trauma recovery#trauma survivor#positive reminder#repetition tw
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me staring at my blades every time something goes even remotely wrong
#cw vent#word vomit#vent post#self mutalition#self h@rm#vent tag#tw self destruction#cvutting#tw self destructive behavior#tw s3lf harm#dark humour tw#dark humor#cvtaddict#self h@te#sh#recovering addict#vent#personal vent#tw vent#killing myself
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#us politics#suicide prevention#suicidal thoughts#tw suicide#public housing#communal housing#public and subsidized housing#affordable living#living wage#standard of living#addiction therapy#recovering addicts#safe injection sites#decriminalize drugs#drug addiction#memes#social programs#social progress
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couldn’t find the courage to put this on my main acc so here it is
#golden wind#jjba#pannacotta fugo#jjba fugo#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba vento auero#I’ve been kinda obsessed with the idea of drug addict fugo#like after he leaves the gang instead of phf it’s him recovering from an addiction#i think that would be a fun idea#tw drugs#needle tw#eyestrain#bright colors#bright colours cw#If anyone recognizes me. Hi I guess lmao#don’t expect me to post here regularly
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In life, I believe we are all just addicts struggling with our drug of choice.
For some, it may be actual drugs. Meth, cocaine, heroine, marijuana... whatever suits them. For others it is alcohol or cigarettes or other tobacco products.
It may be pornography. Or self harm.
I have wrestled with my drug of choice for about four years. Indulging daily or weekly. I'm accustomed to counting wins by the day.
...
Tomorrow, I'm going out with some friends to celebrate two months clean. Eventually I may relapse back into my old habits, but that's not the point. The point is proving to myself that I am able. Recovery is possible.
I WILL NOT BE A SLAVE TO MY DRUG.
And I'll encourage you to adopt the same mantra. These addictions and this society that fuels them? It can't hold us. We are free.
#alternative#tw drugs#rehab#rehabilitation#addiction#self harm#sh#suicidal#depression#anxiety#mentally ill#mental health awareness#actually mentally ill#ak thoughts#ak rants#mental illness#recovery#we will recover#encouragment#encouraging words#life update#clean#self control#addict#recover#deep shiz#deep thoughts#deep#anti capitalist#anarchist
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Hehe she will never know 🤫(true story btw)
#bpd#bpd stuff#bpd meme#depressing memes#bpd safe#depressing shit#bpd shit#mental health#addiction#recovering addict#bpd thoughts#tw depressing thoughts
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GUYS!!! IM ELEVEN WHOLE DAYS CLEAN!!! I HAVWNT GONE THIS LONG IN YEARS!
#mentally unstable#s3lf harn#tw selfhate#panic attack#personal vent#help#someone help#mentalheathawareness#self h@rm#tw self destruction#recovery#tw sh related#recovering from depression#recovering addict#still recovering#books#recovering
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what caused you to start drinking in the first place? do you remember the first time you drank?
Yeesh, you youngin's with the hard hitters.
Don't have anythin' to lose I guess. May as well try and convince you knuckleheads NOT to be like yer' old man here.
It was around the time I graduated highschool. Barely made it, actually. Had to have been bottom of the passing class. But I was handling school, and a part time job to help Ma pay the bills. Not to mention had to help with my little sister.
Once I graduated, one of my friends invited me out for a night to celebrate. We did it! God knows I needed the break, so I called off of work and headed out. He'd scored us a whole load of booze- enough to knock a horse on its ass for a week. Spent the whole night drinking. Had to be one of the first time in years I had felt relaxed, I was smiling and laughing. I wasn't worryin' about Ma being sick, or my sister needing me to run out at middle-fucking-night for project supplies. Next morning was hell, but all it did was make me want to feel that again.
I held off for a few weeks. Wasn't until some unnamed person called CPS on us that it all came tumbling down. No father, sick ma, being supported by a barely adult kid? Took my sister away faster than then you could say "fuck."
The night it happened, I went to my friends, we got drunker than an Irish man on Friday night. Happened again the next day, then the next. God knows I should have been puttin' on my big boy boots and trying to figure out a way to get custody of my sister. That god damn system is hell. But I didn't. I was a coward, simple as that.
It spiralled. I started buying my own booze, it started becoming my morning routine, my mid-day 'self care', drank until I fell asleep.
You guys know where it ended. But for YEARS, I was practically constantly drunk outta my mind. Didn't know a god damn thing happening around me.
Don't be me. I coulda' had a helluva better life, but I decided to take the easy way out for God knows how long. That's all I want to say on the topic.
#Didn't like talking about this.#It's a slope.#swanseasks#swansea mouthwashing#addiction#recovering alcoholic#recovery#ooc tags:#mouthwashing#tw alcohol
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Being a recovering addict is weird because one day you're absolutely fine, nothing to worry about, nothing to see here, but then the next day you're in the gutter and holding on by a thin thread. There is no in between.
jk there is an in between and that's where i exist most of the time.
#helena rants#tw addiction#tw addiction mention#addiction recovery#recovering addict#been clean for 10 years but still have days where i'm barely hanging on
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thinking about how, at least in fight for sanctuary, it really does feel like mordecai traded in an alcohol addiction for a caffeine addiction. idk, the repeated emphasis on him drinking/wanting a soda when he's a recovering alcoholic while caffeine itself is additive, especially when he was an addict in the past,,, hrm.
#borderlands#borderlands 2#mordecai borderlands#mordecai the hunter#borderlands 2 fight for sanctuary#tw alchoholism#tw addiction#there is a reason recovering addicts should avoid caffine!! its addictive!! and while its not as obviously dangerous as alcohol it IS still#unhealthy. especially for someone like mordecai who is already someone who has established difficulties with eating#love overthinking these characters. mordecai my best friend.
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the worst part of going sober is realizing that basically everyone you are friends with are also addicts and that theres nothing you do about it and actually theyre bad for your mental health and your entire relationships are based on commiseration and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
idk maybe its just a me problem
#just ranting i guess#god i am so diane nguyen coded#bojack horseman adjacent#i hate my life rn#tw drugs#tw alcohol#addiction#sober#sober life#sober living#recovering addict
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reminders to myself
some things addiction brought me:
involuntary psych unit admission
loading up a sub-q needle with 99 proof liqueur (didn't shoot it, thank god)
going to bed every night hoping i die, only to wake up disappointed
stealing. food, alcohol, drugs, money. but worst of all, time and peace of mind.
the most excruciating pain of my life, throughout my entire body, for hours, because of drug poisoning (coming from someone with severe chronic pain)
being glued to the bathroom floor, throwing up/dry heaving for literal hours
lost control of the muscles that control my eyes. i swear this is much scarier than it sounds, especially when you can't feel yourself breathing and keep going in & out of consciousness
being unable to feel anything but despair, and thinking i'll never be happy again - that i need drugs/alcohol to have emotions.
some things sobriety brings me:
freedom <3
i'm going to be starting testosterone soon! and now i know, shooting alcohol is a yet. i'm only lucky to not have done it.
waking up in the morning, ready for a new day whether i like it or not. i can't even verbalize how great it is to wake up without death lingering over my head.
helping others, giving my friends hope, and being more mindful and attentive to my loved ones.
accepting my chronic pain, and accommodating for myself in public to reduce that pain (yay, rollator w/cushion!)
i can enjoy food whenever i want! no hangovers, no drug toxicity. just me and my comfort/safe foods.
i can feel the cool autumn air in my lungs. i can be awake all throughout the day, without passing out. i'm much more present.
i can feel joy again! i'm starting to do the things i love, i smile all the time when i'm with my friends, i hold my cat and feel the love I have for him. i now know my darker moments will pass. good comes eventually, if i just wait and ask for help.
it gets better :') the little things in life are what make it worth living. a year ago, i would have done anything to be where i'm at now. so i may not be where i want to be, but where I am and where I'm headed is much better than where i was. <3
for anyone struggling, i love you and i believe in you. have hope - hold on, pain ends.
#messages to myself#ok to rb#drugs tw#death tw#psych ward tw#good things#vent#it's both!#sobriety#addiciton#recovering addict#addiction recovery#julian rants#softspoonie
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wanting to vomit evrrything
dreams with cataclysmic endings
in this body it is not fit
hanging after every suffix
#soundcloud#alt rock#spotify#emo#cats#punk rock#black trans lives matter#cat#mental illness#mexican#jeff the killer#weight loss diet#fat coochie#fat belly#fatty#fat piggy#one piece#fuck my chungus life#rotmaxxing#recovering addict#r@pe kink#ripping my hair out#in loving memory#full moon#music#chainsaw man#business#bisexualnigga#bishoujo senshi sailor moon#tw necrophillia
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I love kenstewy I do but I still think about when with my mom I saw the first episodes of Succession and Stewy was introduced and they were in the bathroom and Stewy did a line of coke after asking Kendall if he wanted some but Kendall said he was sober and my mom didn't even look at me and said "Friends don't do coke next to recovered addict" and then stayed silent for the rest of the scene. And I still think about it. What does this say about Stewy.
#maybe this is more about my mom than stewy#but yes I can't wrap my head around this#I mean it may have to do with my mom that she is a doctor#first autopsy she ever did when she was young was a couple of guys#in their 20s they died because of heroin I think#she has seen stuff#and also I am obsessed with trainspotting you know#so why. why did he do that line of coke next to kendall#'he wasn't thinking he is just as much of an addict' not that we have seen though not that we have been told#there's something so casually cruel#'he didn't think' there's cruelty there in not thinking about sniffing coke next to your best friend who just recovered#I am haunted I am#stewy you've been ready to lay your life's at kendall's feet#that line. why did you do that line#kendall roy#stewy hosseini#kenstewy#brainworm#succession#tw drugs#tw addiction#tw death
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