#tw implied bad parents

[socially-anxious-wizard]

Thinking about Aizawa’s parents.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally getting help (prt 4)

Masterpost

The bats worked through the night, coordinating and researching everything that needed to be done. Distortion showed up on the camera which they assumed was Vlad trying to get in but he didn’t manage it. After he finished trying from multiple angels including somehow from directly above (well Zatana did say invisibility, intangibility, and flight were the minimal powers they should expect from creatures of the infinite realms.) He turned human again and spent a long time banging on their front door.

He tried to call the cops but commissioner Gordon called Bruce directly to get the full story then told Vlad it could be dealt with in the morning. Zatana was also coordinating people heading to Amity, a full on raid of the GIW, and the Fentons.

Batman and Superman were collecting all the information that the raid team was sending out and workshopping public statements they could sent out to the public and the government about the unacceptable things they had found and the steps the JL was taking to fix it. The government was not going to be happy they knew, with the JL ‘over-stepping’ into their business and actually getting the word out about the atrocities a branch of their government and their pet scientists had been planning. The JL needed to get out ahead of it before the narrative could be twisted against them.

It was first thing in the morning when they did a live broadcast from the watchtower with Batman, Superman, and Zatana telling the world about the parallel world existing harmlessly along side their own, and the way the government tried to exploit it. The atrocities committed under the name of the Anti-Ecto acts with the ignorance of the public as a cover.

It was at the same time that Constantine, Dick, and Cas were raiding the Fenton’s home. Of course they were armed, but so were the bats, and they were used to fighting people who were armed. It wasn’t a particularly hard fight.

A redhead was sitting wide eyed at the kitchen table. “Can’t we just have one normal day!” She suddenly snapped but she was glaring at her parents, standing up and slamming her hands on the table.  “First you send Danny away with Vlad even though you KNOW they hate each other and it’s a school day and now this! What did you do to bring the heroes down on us!?”

“I don’t know Jazzybear!” Jack half whined as he was forced into power supressing cuffs to neutralize his minor super strength and sat down in the living room.

“I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding, don’t worry sweetie,” Maddie added, both of them were dressed in jump suits which did not help their supervillain vibes.

“it’s not a mistake mate, you’ve been messing with shit you really shouldn’t. And that portal in your basement is a fucking beacon welcoming a war. You’ve gone unchecked for too god damn long, we’re taking over things now.” Constantine told them before stalking down into the basement with Tim on his heels, Batman would be joining them as soon as they were done their press conference.

Cas stayed to watch the parents and Dick approached Jazz gently. “Hey can I talk to you in private please? It’s about your brother,” He said gently and she stiffened immediately. Looking at him in a way that made him feel like she could see straight into his soul and froze him to the spot. After a moment though she just sighed and nodded, beckoning to him to follow her upstairs, to a room that was probably Danny’s not her own. She sat on his bed and grabbed a bear that had been sitting on the edge, waving for him to sit at the desk.

“So, what do you know?” She asked with a sigh.

“Well, last night Vlad took Danny to a Wayne Gala, one of Bruce’s daughter Cas is really good with body language and clocked that something was wrong so she and one of the other kids got him away from Vlad and out of the party. I guess he really needed some adult support because he broke down and told them a lot, about the Phantom thing, the ghosts and… something you’re not going to like. But first I want you to know he’s safe, Bruce Wayne is a licensed foster parent and he’s taking good care of Danny, you can come live with them too if you want.

“We’re going to deal with the ghosts and the GIW and everything else now, I can’t promise by the end of this you won’t need somewhere else to go. I have a feeling if Batman and the Martian family have anything to say about this your parents will end up in prison for their unethical experiments.”

“As long as Danny is okay,” Jazz said firmly. “I was only staying to take care of him anyway, just get me emancipated and a scholarship for Gotham U so I can study while still being close to him I’ll be fine. I’m almost 18 as it is.”

Dick nodded, she was a smart and driven girl, she knew what she wanted, he could respect that. “Now, the thing you won’t like…” he trailed off and took a deep breath. “Danny is pregnant.”

“What!?“ Jazz blanched, gaping at him for a long minute. “That can’t be right! I mean I knew he was trans but he’s usually only interested in girls, how would he even-“ She cut off her eyes widening. “It was Vlad wasn’t it?” She gritted out with an expression the promised excruciating violence.

“Yes,” Dick said shifting awkwardly in his chair.

“Right.” Jazz said and got up, coldly calm. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.” She grabbed a baseball bat from next to Danny’s bed that seemed to be glowing slightly then marched to the other side of the room, opened a cabinet and pulled out two odd looking guns. Before Dick could say much of anything she had vaulted out of the window and taking off down the street.

“Oh dear,” Dick muttered faintly before heading back downstairs. “Hey Cas can we turn on the news, some sort of local station?” He asked. Cas nodded and searched around for the remote, turning it on to find the channel was already on local news.

Vlad was already on there, talking about how it was awful Bruce Wayne had Kidnapped a local child Danial Fenton, and he could not be allowed to get away with this just because he was rich! But that didn’t last long, they watched for a few minutes before a blur of red hair and blue rushed past the camera.

“YOU TOUCHED MY BROTHER YOU CREEP!” Jazz said as she came out swinging and she must have quite the arm because her first swing sent him nearly flying off the stage. He scrambled to get up as she lunged at him again.

“Now Jasmine you’ve clearly been misinformed, I didn’t do anything-“ His muffled voice was cut off as she swung the bat again and he yelped as she hit him in the stomach.

“YOU GOT HIM PREGNANT! YOU DID THIS! YOU SHOULD BEHIND BARS NOT BEHIND A PODIUM YOU FROOTLOOP!” She shrieked as she swung again and this time he managed to dodge. The cameras following them as Jazz chased him down the street, the sound of his supplications and her shrieking fading out as they became more and more distant.

It took a frantic moment for the camera angle to switch to something else, maybe a drone, which was able to follow them down the street.

“You Don’t UNDERSTAND! I didn’t want to hurt him! I just wanted a perfect son! If he had just agreed to be my son none of this would have happened! When I knew it failed I told him to let them die!” Vlad yelled at her, though that did NOT seem to comfort Jazz at all. She had devolved into shrieking book titles like curses as she chased him with the bat and shot at him with the guns though her aim didn’t seem very good.

Well they had him admitting to it on camera now. As he watched a new actor joined the fray, a girl in a red jumpsuit holding a blaster.

“You did what to Danny!?” She demanded as she pointed the blaster at Vlad.

“Oh cheespuffs!” Vlad breathed, his eyes widening as Jazz trailed off letting who must be Red Huntress take over the chase as Vlad shouted about how he had made her! He had given her her weapons she couldn’t use them against him! Which did not seem to be stopping her.

The camera fuzzed out for just a second and then Valery was chasing a ghost with red eyes and a white outfit. Cas was laughing silently at the show and both of the Fenton parents seemed to be in shock. A few minutes later Jazz walked back in through the front door looking tired.

“Turn that off please,” she sighed as she put the bat down.

“Of course,” Cas agreed and picked up the remote again, turning off the tv. 

“Vlad didn’t actually do that, did he Jazzy?” Jack asked softly, he sounded so hurt, as if he had any fucking right!

Jazz looked at him blankly. “How many times have we tried to warn you about him? How many times has Danny told you he didn’t feel safe with Vlad? But as usual you couldn’t see past your own desires. I’m going to go see if the trenchcoat guy needs any help getting into your files,” She sighed before vanishing downstairs. 

Dick glanced at Cas, and then followed them, she would have no trouble watching the Fentons and staying quiet whereas Dick felt like he was about to explode. Batman joined them before long and between the three of them they shut the bulkheads on the portal and locked them, secured dangerous chemicals and devices, and downloaded everything they could. There were plenty of prototypes and blueprints, and stuff that could generously be called research.

It was obvious these people were geniuses but it was even more obvious that at some point they had become careless and obsessive. Half of the writing on the blueprints wasn’t legible, dangerous chemicals were not in proper containment, and the weapons were not locked up. Looking at all of this it wasn’t surprising that two of the people they had been involving in their research suffered exposure, it was a surprise more hadn’t. It was easy to tell when Bruce came down he was horrified, it was in the way he froze when he saw the lab, as if his brain was struggling to process just how irresponsible the Fenton parents had been.

“You must be Jazz, it’s nice to meet you. Danny speaks highly of you,” He finally rebooted to say when she waved at him. 

“I love my little brother, I always did the best I could to keep him safe from… all this,” Jazz said gesturing at the lab with a sigh. “I wish it had done any good.”

“You did plenty of good,” Dick put in. “Trust me, to a kid having someone care about them can make all the difference. 

“All those nights I patched him up after he came back from fighting ghosts. He healed fast but still. I can’t believe… he’s already been through so much and we knew Vlad was up to something! Ellie said she was our cousin but she looked just like him, I should have kept a closer eye on-” She cut off and shook her head. “He’s a good kid, of course if he couldn’t give the babies up, even if it would be better for them if he did. I hope he knows I’d support him either way, I hope he didn’t not tell me because he thought I’d be upset at Him.”

“I’m sure he didn’t,” Dick assured her gently. “Being a big sibling is hard, I know. But trust me you’re doing a great job, better than I did with my brothers,” he said, patting her shoulder. “You can ask him yourself later though. We have a lot to get done today to make sure he’s safe.”

She nodded stubbornly and doubled down on her work, directing them occasionally to where she knew they’d find more weapons or logs. She knew her way around the lab to a disturbing extent. 

Bruce and Dick both got a notification from Agent A saying that after a substantial sleep in Danny had woken up and was having breakfast. He seemed worried about the family but he was taking it alright, especially since he knew they were busy people. It did motivate Dick to clear things up as soon as they could so that they could get back to Danny though. The last thing he needed was More stress!

They had plenty of evidence of the Fenton parents breaking the law to call the police and have them taken away which gave them all the time they needed to strip the house. They got everything they could and decided to leave Constantine at the house to watch the portal until they could figure out how to shut it down completely without causing any damage. It seemed unstable so they didn’t want to risk it just now, especially without Danny’s input because according to Jazz Danny had made genuine connections in the Infinite Realms. 

They wrapped up this stage of the investigation before dinner after being up for about 36 hours. Of course they weren’t Done, there was still plenty to do investigating the government, how they’d gotten away with this and if they had any other nasty tricks up their sleeve. They’d have to manage any backlash from this unilateral move, and they’d have to figure out what to tell the public about Danny since Bruce would be fostering him. But all that could be done after having a family dinner with their new brother and a nap. 

part 5

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[fueioekjfisks]

Im so sorry im losing my absolute mind but please hear me out for a second.

Mild tw for implied SA - NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED PEOPLE JUST THINK IT HAPPENED

You know the common misunderstanding au in the danny phandom rn about vlad being a creep and people thinking hes like a CREEPY CREEP and not just a supervillain creep?

Well imagine danny is going on break or something and his dad wants to bring the whole family up to vlads castle for whatever reason.

Danny, obviously, does not want to waste his ONE FREAKING CHANCE of getting some god damn sleep being tormented by vlad and his stupid birds. Plus, vlad will probably plan some big murder plot for his dad and danny CAN. NOT. HANDLE. THAT. RIGHT. NOW.

So danny decides to make a PowerPoint presentation about why he doesnt want to go.

Obviously he cant reveal vlad or his own halfa status so its mostly just really jumbled information about vlad being creepy.

He gets backup from sam, tucker, jazz, and even val. He also knows his mom already dislikes vlad and knows hes a total creep so all he really needs to do is convince his dad.

But??? As hes compiling evidence??? And rehearsing his presentation with hes friends??? He realizes that it sounds super fucked up???

And like, it’s mostly just bad without all the context. But he realizes that Vlad is actually kinda sick in the head. Danny knows he would never actually do something that terrible, but its supper concering how similar his actions are to like, actual bad people.

Danny isnt mad about it or anything, he’s actually just worried about it Vlad.

Danny is not perfect by any means. But Vlad is the only other member of his species besides, like, his fucking clone (which holy shit Vlad what the fuck) or maybe dan who is also fucked up.

Danny knew that Vlads death definitely messed him up, but he never really thought about Vlads actions beyond “obsessive fruitloop, at it again :/“ and is just now realizing that vlad might need psychological help. Which he feels pretty (REALLY) bad about.

Danny has no idea what to do, and no idea who to go to.

So he sneaks out, doesnt even go ghost as he takes the powerpoint to vlad who obviously freaks tf out because holy shit thats SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING HE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY IMAGINED. What if he had actually hurt daniel? What if he had hurt his precious Madeline?? He needs help like yesterday! How did he ever get so bad???!

So Vlad freaks, trashes his own house, apologizes to danny, and books it through the portal to find the far frozen or somewhere else he can get help.

Danny is somewhat shellshocked about the whole situation. It doesnt get better when people start investigating Vlads disappearance.

The state of the manor indicates foul play and the police look into it further. Find security tapes. They see danny, frazzled and paranoid, enter Vlads property, everything goes to static, and only danny leaves.

Hes arrested of course, and he and his friends/family are interrogated.

Everybody vehemently denies that Danny would ever do such a thing, but when they are asked if danny has potential motives everyone (except for jack) gets all squeamish.

Its practically common knowledge in Amity Park that the mayor and the weird Fenton child had beef. People just were unsure why.

I think it would be really cool to focus a story around the polices pov of the investigation/ random Amity Parkers interpretation of the events.

Danny being kinda creepy after the accident (because death) could totally make people assume he did it and that would be awesome.

We can also add in de-aged Dani/Ellie and or Dan for that extra spice.

Imagine the fentons finding out about Dannys supposed kids in the context that they are MOTIVES FOR THEIR SON TO MURDER THEIR COLLAGE FRIEND ( AND DANNYS OWN GODFATHER) WHO APPARENTLY GROOMED HIM???!? AND THEY DIDNT EVEN NOTICE??!?

This could totally be a crossover too. Lucifer tv show. Batman. Supernatural. All are good.

Anyway, thought this could be kinda interesting

Please continue if you want

[schrijverr]

All the Things Maddie Missed

An addition to chapter 33, wherein we get Maddie’s perspective on trying to reconcile with Buck again after she left him in the hospital. In coming by his house, she is confronted by the family Buck has had the whole time. The family she never knew about.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (minor)

Warnings: implied/referenced domestic violence, insecurity, injury, referenced emotionally abusive parents

~~~

Maddie hasn’t spoken to Buck in two and a half weeks now. Guilt and anger, as well as fear war in her chest as she forcefully knocks on the door of a house that she’s never been to before. Buck’s house. Or, more correctly, Buck and Eddie’s house.

When the door is opened, Eddie is looking back her. He looks surprised and a bit of a mess, hair all over and a sweaty in a non-work out way.

Before he can say anything, Maddie speaks: “I had to get the address from Abuela, Pepa refused to give it and Chimney didn’t know it. Can you believe that? A year I’ve been here and I never even realized I didn’t know where my own brother lived.”

She blames Eddie for that. For forcing Buck to shut her out. She can’t think of any reason Buck would have lied to her otherwise and that fear of what Eddie is doing to him now that he’s hurt and vulnerable got her over the fear she had that Buck didn’t want her there. The fear, which only got worse when she had to scramble to find their address anywhere.

“I’m sorry?” Eddie replies, sounding as if he’s unsure if the should be apologizing. He doesn’t look ill intended, but then again, neither had Doug.

She sends him a withering look in response, refusing to be cowed again. She has always protected her little brother and this is no different. Until Buck tells her he is okay and doesn’t want her there in a way she believes, she isn’t going anywhere. “Yeah, I sure hope you are. He lied to me, because of you. Do you have any idea how that looks?”

Almost as if to prove her point, Eddie’s brow scrunches up and his eyes narrow. His voice is harsh when he snaps: “Well, he was also heavily injured and I was the only on there in the hospital with him. Do you have any idea how that looks?”

Instinctively, Maddie flinches and she hates that she does. The guilt is now also overtaking her anger, she knows she should have been there. She knows she shouldn’t have stayed away. But out of everyone, she isn’t going to let Eddie tell her that. So she defends herself: “I needed space.”

“Over two weeks of space?” Eddie says incredulously and judgmentally. “Face it, Maddie, you ran from this. From him. Like you always do.”

“You do not get to accuse me like that,” Maddie hisses. He has no right to speak to her like that after all he’s been doing to her baby brother.

“I don’t?” Eddie asks in a bitchy manner that sets her teeth on edge. “Do you have any idea how much Buck misses you? Of course not, because you aren’t here. And guess what? I am. Back in the hospital you said I don’t know him, but I know him well enough, I spend nearly every day of the past four years with him or in communication with him. I’ve seen him send you dozens of cards and I’ve seen him open the mailbox with that disappointed look on his face over and over. He called you so many times since he woke up, he asked after you. And I was the one, who had to tell him that you weren’t there. Again. So, yeah, I feel like I do get to accuse you like that.”

The words feel like hits and they throw her off too. Silently, they just look at each other for a moment, standing there on the porch of Buck and Eddie’s small home.

She never thought Eddie was a bad guy until that night in the hospital. That night when she suddenly realized he was married to Buck because it was easy, having Buck lie for years to her, being into his head so deep for god knows how long. How he had control over what happened to Buck, instead of her. How he could easily do whatever he wanted to her Evan.

But even then, she let him be. She could recognize he had made the better choice and he smartly kept away from her as to not anger her more. Besides, she can’t imagine how hard it must have been to tell Christopher with the start of the breakdown everyone witnessed.

And then came that doctor, who told them Buck was okay and Eddie was as relieved as all of them. He didn’t seem bad then and Maddie had calmed down enough to process some of it. Buck was married and had decided to lie. Had decided to lie to her, purposefully kept her out, while Eddie got to stay.

At least, he’d been clearly planning to stay and Maddie let her own hurt at being excluded drive her away too. Until she remembered how deceiving looks could be and how good liars could lie and act, so she came to the house on a warpath.

Standing here in front of her now, he seems like a doting husband, someone who loves her brother. Not the abusive, isolating man that was using Buck for his kindness that she had conjured for herself. He looks completely genuine now and she starts to doubt herself. Still, she is going to make sure he isn’t some asshole.

So, she narrows her eyes at him, inspecting him critically as she says: “I don’t get you, you know. What do you want with him?”

“What?” Eddie is practically indignant. As if she has no right to be protective of her baby brother with what she knows of his situation.

“You marry him, because he helps take care of Chris and it’s convenient, then you claim it’s his idea to lie about it, yet it’s an accident that you got in so deep and you just didn’t get around to divorcing him. And then, here you are, living with him and defending him. So what do you want from him, Eddie?”

He pauses at her outburst, blinking a few times, before a realization dawns on his now horrified face. He starts slowly and cautiously: “Maddie, the only reason I was ever in a position to marry him, is because we’re friends. Best friends. Yes, it was a marriage of convenience and he helped with Chris and that’s the reason we became friends and why we got married, but we’d been friends for a year already by the time I married him. I didn’t marry him only to leave immediately.”

That- That is not what she expected.

She doesn’t know what her face is doing exactly, but Eddie shuffles uncomfortably under her eyes, so she keeps it up. However, she has to do a double take. There is a lot of affection in his voice when he talks of Buck.

She knows Buck has a crush on him – half thought it was Stockholm syndrome or used to manipulate him – but maybe it’s returned. But then, why wouldn’t Eddie say in the hospital? Why call Buck his best friend now?

Suspiciously yet curious, she checks: “Friends? Nothing else?”

“No, nothing else,” Eddie sighs. “If we’d actually been married, we would have filled out those stupid forms and not gotten into this mess.” He pinches his brow, then says: “Look, why don’t you come inside? Buck is in his room, but I don’t think he’s napping, so I can go grab him for you. He is better at explaining anyway and he missed you.”

Now that the anger at Eddie has been assuaged somewhat, the guilt she feels for not being there for Buck overtakes her. Their parents were never there for him when he was hurt and now she abandoned him too? Eddie said he’d always been disappointed when she didn’t reply and it seemed that even free from Doug, she hasn’t learned. What an awful sister she is.

She would honestly get it if he was so angry at her, he wouldn’t want to see her. That might explain Eddie’s hostility when he opened the door. So, she’s hesitant when she asks: “Is he mad at me for staying away?”

“He’s not mad. Just sad, honestly. I don’t think he can be mad at you. Pretty sure he was already making a list of everything he ever lied about since he was a little kid, so he could tell you when you talked to him again,” he says, stepping to the side to let her in. “But a sorry can’t hurt.”

“Course,” Maddie says, because that is obvious to her. As she does, she steps inside, curious to see where Buck has been living all this time. The home he made for himself.

Maddie honestly still can’t believe she has never been here before. But first she was hiding out, planning to leave and the less people that knew where she was, the better. Besides, the thought of having to face a bunch of frat bros made her sick to her stomach.

Then Buck just always came by hers. She never questioned it much, figuring it was a nice escape from a probably pretty gross living situation for him. Or maybe even a sweet way to accommodate her, she adds, thinking of their conversation they had around Christmas.

After Doug, the same thing applied as when she just got here. She wanted to be in his assumed living situation even less than her own apartment.

But now she’s in his house. In his living room. In the place he made home, the place she’s been carefully kept out of. She almost doesn’t know what to do with herself, awkwardly standing in the entrance as she looks around.

It’s neat.

Eddie is equally awkward, giving a quick tour. “We got a living room and a kitchen, the bathroom is over there, Chris has a room, that’s my room and Buck’s room is there. We got lucky with the house, the sellers needed it gone, because they were moving to Europe and they had a soft spot for Chris, I think. Buck did most of the communication, he probably charmed them.”

Again, he sounds so fond and very married when he talks about Buck that makes her question if he was honest. However, while Buck lied about the whole family thing, she doesn’t think he could have lied about his one sided infatuation with Eddie. He got away with it, because she never directly asked and she definitely did ask about Eddie.

“Uhm, do you want something to drink? Or should I get Buck first?” Eddie asks, seemingly wanting to get away from her as fast as possible.

She looks to the kitchen, spotting a few details she knows very well. With a small smile, she say: “You can get Buck. I’m pretty sure Buck had input on the kitchen, it’s the same way of organizing we used to have back home. I’ll find myself something to drink.”

Eddie gives her a weird look at that, but she doesn’t know why. She doesn’t get time to question it though, because he nods: “Oh, yeah, ‘course,” then hightails out of there, leaving her to explore a little.

As she gets herself a drink, she hears him knocking in the background and the two have a conversation, but she doesn’t focus on that, instead distracted by the house. She puts on the kettle for some tea, opening the right cabinet immediately and finding a bag she likes. Buck still gets the same brand they used to when they were kids. The detail makes her smile.

While the water boils, she looks around further. The table has five chairs around it, but is half covered in papers. Most of them are school projects from Chris, but there are a few with Buck’s handwriting, mostly grocery lists.

At the spot where Chris probably sits, since the chair is modified for him, there are scratches in the table that come with a kid. She traces them with her finger, mortifyingly chokes up.

Quickly she looks away, but that only makes her eye fall on the fridge that has a few of Christopher’s drawings on it. The one in the center is of three stick figures, obviously representing the family that occupies this home.

On the left, the figure has a spot on his face and is denoted as ‘papi.’ There is love in that picture in the way there wasn’t in their childhood home. Not her house with Doug either.

She tears her eyes away, pouring herself a mug of tea, before cradling it as she wanders back into the living room.

The couch is oddly neat with pillows fluffed in the corner. However, despite that, it looks very comfortable. Whoever picked it, picked it with comfort first and style second, but it’s not an eye sore and very clearly loved. There are throw blankets and pillows. It looks like you could sink into it.

There are two plush chairs too, that don’t match, but seem comfortable. The floor is covered by a fluffy rug and the bookshelves are filled with titles. There are some children’s books she recognizes, since she used to read them to little Evan, but also ones she has never seen before. Elsewhere are titles that Buck mentioned reading.

All the books are organized based on type, then mostly based on spine heights and thickness. It’s the same way Buck used to have books in his room, wanting to find them easily based on topic, but having a stronger visual memory that allowed this to work better than sorting by title or author.

Glancing over at the children’s books, she can see that Chris organizes his the same. It’s a little weird, to see that bit of Buck in a kid she barely knows. However, it doesn’t choke her up like the drawing or table did, instead it fills her with some sort of pride. That she raised Buck well enough that he can pass down things to someone else.

After that, she takes a sip of her tea, wandering over to the fireplace, since there are a bunch of framed photographs up on it. She is curious to see the pictures Buck likely never send her.

Most of them contain Christopher. There is naturally the latest school picture, as well as a baby picture of a very young and overwhelmed looking Eddie holding him. Still, despite that, there is pride in his eyes, even when he clearly doesn’t know what to do with himself. She is reminded of just how young Eddie must have been when Chris was born. No wonder he’d take the help.

Her eyes glide over to the next one, which is of Chris and Eddie in Halloween costumes. She now remembers Buck complaining that all the parents got off for Halloween. At the time, she assumed he was upset he wouldn’t be working with his friends, but now she realizes he was upset at missing Halloween with his kid. She wonders how many disappointments he’s had to face without even getting to complain or sympathy.

With an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach, she moves onto the next one. This one is actually of Chris and Buck. It’s taken at the LA zoo. Neither seem to realize the picture is being taken and their faces are only half visible, however, they have big matching grins on their faces, while Buck points at the lions, while Chris is on his tiptoes to see better.

There is another one of the three of them, taking when they must have just come to LA. Eddie is in a sling and crutches are leaning against his chair, the chair next to him is empty. Buck and Chris are across from them and Abuela is sitting at the head. She recognizes it as Abuela’s house and they were probably having dinner. Buck’s smile is a little bashful, but he seems to glow.

She scans over all the others. A birthday party with Chris surrounded by kids as he blows out candles, Buck smiling in the background. A younger Chris next to a Christmas tree in a living room she doesn’t know, beaming at the camera. Eddie asleep with Chris grinning mischievously into the camera as he gives Eddie bunny ears. Maddie knows the couch, but it’s that same unfamiliar living room as before. El Paso probably.

Her eyes, however, get caught on the last picture on the mantle piece.

In it are all three of them, dressed up in suits. For a second, she thinks it’s a wedding picture, but then her eyes fall on the piece of paper Chris is proudly showing to the camera; adoption papers. This picture is from right after Buck adopted Christopher.

It’s clearly taken a few years ago, because Buck and Eddie still have some of that babyfat clinging to their cheeks and Chris is only barely a preschooler.

The three of them are all grinning so widely, it’s almost blinding. Buck and Eddie have both smushed their faces against Chris’s, having squatted down and knelt to be at his height. Maddie knows it’s a marriage of convenience, but it hits her now how true Eddie’s words were too. He wouldn’t have been in this position without being Buck’s friend and it’s clear how close they are.

She keeps staring at that picture.

At their grinning faces.

At the happy family.

At Buck’s family.

Without her permission, tears well up, but she can’t help herself. She is already surrounded by the evidence, but that goddamn picture is just the final straw. Buck has a family. A happy family that loves him. And she missed it.

Maddie missed this.

She got him out of that godforsaken town they called home, the cold house with parents that thought of him as a loser. She got him out. She got him there. And yet she missed it. She missed her brother becoming happy.

Now, she can recall sitting on Abuela’s porch, marveling at the happiness on Buck’s face. She had already mourned missing that, but she missed so much more. She missed him becoming a husband and a father, just as much as she missed him becoming an adult and a firefighter.

After two and a half weeks, she still doesn’t know what she did that caused Buck to shut her out. But in her hurt confusion, she never thought too deeply about what he shut her out off. It was this.

This cozy home with scratches on the table, drawings on the fridge, shelves of organized books and pictures of happy moments. This life Buck has built for himself. This family. This happiness. And Maddie missed it.

She’d been stuck in a marriage that broke her, feeling isolated from everyone, clinging to cards from someone living such a free life that was so far out of her own. And she always felt happy to get those cards, to read how Buck was faring. That she might be stuck there, but she had succeeded in making sure that Buck wouldn’t be.

Reading those cards, imagining what his life looked like, seeing him grow up more through the sparing pictures he send. She always thought that she knew him, despite all the distance between them. That even if she wasn’t there, she was with him. That even though, she didn’t write back, she was still a part of his life. But even in all those cards, she missed this.

It wasn’t until that night in the hospital that she realized she didn’t. That Buck got to make the choice and chose to lie. She had half thought it a lie from Eddie to throw her off – hoped it was – but standing here now, she doesn’t believe it is.

Buck didn’t want tell her. He didn’t tell her. He kept her away from this. She thought she still knew him, but she missed practically everything that made him, him. He’s still as much of a stranger to her than when she first got there.

Still, she couldn’t have hoped for anything more for him. It hurts so much that he didn’t trust her enough to tell her, but she is so happy for him. Evan has always deserved the world. Buck has always deserved the world. Maddie gave up years so he could have it and she is so happy for him that he has, even if she wasn’t a part of it.

God, she hopes she didn’t fuck up so bad, he won’t let her be a part of it now. That she won’t miss more of his life, but this time aware that she’s missing it.

She realized she would have fucked up if she got her way and Eddie hadn’t intervened, the moment she got time to calm down. Even if she was still angry at him. If Buck knows of that, she wouldn’t blame him for never wanting to see her again. The thought of getting shut out of his life once more, hurts like a bitch and she nearly chokes on it.

Then she hears his voice behind her. “Maddie! Hi!” He sounds happy, glad to see her even. It gives her hope.

She turns around, mug already going down and a smile coming onto her face as she actually takes him in for the first time in weeks. And he’s smiling at her. Smiling. “Buck,” she says, wrapping him in a big hug, relieved when he hugs back.

For a moment, she basks in feeling his arms around her, that sweat scent she still knows from when he was a teen infiltrating her nostril along with the deodorant he now wears.

Then she steps back and eyes him critically. He is no longer screaming on her TV screen trapped under a truck, but he’s still leaning on crutches with a thick cast on his leg. Most of the scrapes have already healed, however, there are still white little scars where they’d been. He also looks a little tired and stressed, his eyes drooping like they always do when he’s been sad.

“Are you taking care of yourself? That cast is pretty big, are you making sure it’s clean? Not getting it wet?”

Buck seems slightly embarrassed by her and for a moment she worries if this is why he never shared with her, because she does this. But she likes to think she knows him well enough that he’s also a little pleased by the care. He liked it when she cared, right? Right?

Eddie comes up behind him, a hint of cutting in his voice when he answers for Buck. Red flag. “The entire house is accessible.”

And now she gets to witness their duo act Chimney mentioned for the first time live, as Buck quickly jumps in with a grin and a wink. “Yeah, and Eddie’s a medic, you know. I’m in good hands, promise.”

Seeing it makes Maddie feel weird. She knows Eddie is probably not a bad guy, but she does also know Buck loves him and seeing Eddie be mad at her like this while Buck tries to suss the situation makes her feel wrong footed. Still, she tries to be supportive for now. “Of course. I’m sorry. Go sit. Do you have a pillow to put your foot up?”

“Yeah, it’s that one,” Buck points at one of their throw pillows, before going to lower himself on the chair, while Maddie moves to take a seat on the couch. “Though you should maybe grab a kitchen chair, Eddie shampooed the couch. He’s been cleaning the whole house. Antsy, you know.”

“Shut up,” Eddie says and Maddie is taken aback at the way he is speaking to Buck. However, Buck just rolls his eyes at it and makes a face at Maddie, completely unconcerned. And when she looks closely, she can see the way Eddie’s ears burn when he tells her: “It’s already pretty dry,” and he hasn’t missed a beat in helping Buck get situated comfortably. As if it’s as easy as breathing for him.

She knows both him and Buck insist they’re friends, Buck even staunchly claims he’s straight. But he just keeps acting so very married in front of her. So taken by her brother. She doesn’t know what to make of any of it.

If he’s putting on an act and forced Buck into it, he’s become a way better liar than he’s ever been. So, she starts to feel relatively sure in excluding that possibility. But that still leaves her unsure. Unsure, if he is leading Buck on so he’ll stay or if he doesn’t even know he’s hurting Buck by being so sweet to him all the time. Tantalus’s fruit getting snatched away over and over again.

As Eddie gets back up from where he was helping Buck, he only speaks to Buck: “I’m grabbing you something to drink, then heading out. Want me to take Chris to the park, before heading home?”

Maddie thinks he’s a bit of an asshole for ignoring her and for fully letting her know his actual question, which is if Buck trusts her enough to have Chris in the home with them as they talk it out. And she pretends it doesn’t hurt when Buck apologetically grimaces: “Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Cool.” With that Eddie disappears into the kitchen to make Buck tea, the two Buckleys watching him seamlessly dance around the kitchen in a pattern that is familiar to Maddie too, even if she’s never seen Eddie do it and never someone in that kitchen.

Eddie hands Buck the mug with a fond smile that turns stiff and polite when he turns it onto Maddie. She quirks her brow at that, but he valiantly ignores it as he gives her a nod, then calls out a goodbye, before fleeing the house.

The two of them watch him go, then they just sit there in silence, looking at each other for a moment.

“I’m so sorry for not being here,” Maddie decides to start. “I know I should have.”

“It’s okay,” Buck smiles at her, always so kind and forgiving, no matter how many times everyone around him failed him.

Maddie wants to argue with him that it’s not, but hearing him say that it is, makes her feel better. Makes her feel like they can come back to who they used to be. So, she doesn’t say anything and the two lapse into silence again.

“So…” Maddie starts again after a few seconds, hoping to break the ice and create a place to start to unpack it all, “you’re not in love with your coworker, you’re in love with your spouse.”

“Maddie,” he whines, pouting in a way that tells her he’s embarrassed, not angry, which relieves some of the tension she feels in her back. He complains: “It sounds bad when you say it like that.”

“Well, it looks kind of bad too,” Maddie exclaims, unable to keep the disbelieving and slight amused tone out of her voice. Now that Buck doesn’t appear to be mad at her, she can tease him. “Buck, my sweet baby brother, what the fuck happened?”

“It’s a long story,” Buck tries to deflect, sinking into the couch and hiding his blushing face behind his hands.

“Well, we got time,” Maddie points out.

Buck groans, lolls his head back to look at the ceiling, then sighs. He pushes himself to be upright again and says: “Alright, fine, but don’t judge me.”

“I’ll try,” she promises.

So, Buck tells her about meeting a cute girl at work, then realizing she was lonely and in need of help, in the form of a friend. How he’d needed a friend too, so why not listen to her complain about her divorce and ex-in-laws?

How that resulted into watching Chris and giving her little breaks, as well as just hanging out. “We were both outcasts there, it was nice to have someone there,” Buck shrugs.

All his cards spoke about how fun and cool everything was. A freedom of traveling the world and seeing all these places, meeting people. Seemed like she missed his hurt too.

He continues to tell her how Eddie came back from service and avoided him like the plague, while his thing with Shannon went further. Maddie promised not to judge, so she is working really hard to not show too much on her face how wild it is that Buck slept with Chris’s mom and is now married to his dad.

Fortunately, before her face can do something, Buck hits her with: “Then a few months later, she shows up with Chris still sleeping, hands him to me, says it’s a family emergency and to watch him for a bit. I say yes, of course, no problem, you know. Of course I’d help her. A couple of hours later Eddie comes driving up in a panic. Apparently, Shannon signed over custody and left to go take care of her mom in LA. That was her family emergency.”

Maddie cannot control her face at that, because what? That is insane. To leave your kid with your boyfriend and then leave the state, while leaving your ex-husband to figure it out? That- She doesn’t know what to do with that.

Buck notices and being the kind person he is, he quickly goes: “I’m not saying it’s okay. What she did, I mean. But- but she was in a really rough spot too. Like yeah, it really hurt Chris and that’s not okay, but I can’t fully blame her either.”

A part of Maddie wants to tell him that he was in a rough spot too. But there is already so much she needs to catch up on and she doesn’t feel like fighting him on this. So, she stays quiet and gestures for him to continue talking.

He explains how Eddie was totally overwhelmed and Buck sympathized. He was also shocked at the sudden departure and he didn’t want Chris to feel like he was being abandoned by everyone. Unloved. So, he stayed, offered to watch Chris for the night while Eddie figured it out.

That then snowballed into him co-parenting Chris with Eddie, until medical bills finally pushed them to tie the knot, leaving Buck a husband and a father.

“Honestly, Maddie, I didn’t even know I loved him until I got that call and I suddenly had to face a possible world that he was no longer in,” Buck tells her, still sounding haunted after so many years. It was probably his lowest moment and she wasn’t there for it.

When he looks up to her again, his eyes are red rimmed, but he isn’t crying. His voice sounds fucked though, when he says: “I know it’s pathetic and selfish, but I didn’t want him to leave. So, I clung to him, made myself useful. Got a well paying job with a good insurance and built our lives together. Then he wanted to stay and I didn’t argue him out of it. I know we took it too far and it was stupid to do it, but by the time we realized, it was kind of already too late.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? Evan, I could have helped,” Maddie says, her own voice more wobbly than she’d like.

She is scared to hear the answer. Scared in that small space of time between her question and Buck’s answer.

Sitting here in this house he made a home, she realizes just how much of his life she missed. How he started editing those cards years ago, without coercion, when she stopped responding. How he kept her at an arms length when she came back, never letting her fully in. He didn’t want her to know. And she is terrified to find out why, to hear how she failed him.

God, she tried so hard to do right by him. Telling herself that even when she send him away, she did right by him, because she got him out of there and, look, all his cards show how happy he is. It didn’t matter that she was falling apart, because Evan was doing well.

Maddie gave so much of herself to him, to everyone. To making her parents happy after Daniel, to making sure Buck grew up loved, to Doug as she tried to be his perfect wife. And it wasn’t enough. She was never enough.

She had wanted to run away from that feeling of inadequacy, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave entirely. Not when Buck was injured. What if he needed her? What if he still wanted her there? What if he was scared and needed someone to hold his hand, just like that first time he had to get stitches and he squeezed her hand so tight she had bruises for days? She couldn’t leave him like that.

So, she had given him space instead. He had wanted Eddie to make his decisions to be in that room with him, not her. She could respect that. Which meant she hadn’t been calling or texting or visiting. But now she had forced her way into his home and practically invited him to tell her why he had shut her out, why he didn’t want her there.

“Fuck, Maddie, I wanted to tell you so many times,” Buck sighs. That- That is not what she expected to hear at all.

“You- You did?” she asks, sounding pathetically hopeful to her own ear.

“Of course, I did!” Buck exclaims, practically indignant that anyone would think differently. “You’re my sister. I must have written over a dozen of cards and letters explaining everything to you.”

Cautiously, Maddie says: “I never got any of those letters.”

“I know,” Buck groans. “I never send them.”

Slightly less pessimistic, but still bracing herself, Maddie asks: “Why?”

“It’s stupid,” Buck mutters, then continues when she remains silent. “At first I didn’t want mom or dad to know and I felt embarrassed, I guess. I thought you would think I was making a dumb decision, helping out with a kid like that. I mean, I didn’t know what I was doing. But I liked it. I love raising Chris, always have. Suppose I just didn’t want mom or dad to tell me it was a dumb idea. Or worse, you.”

“Oh Buck…”

“I know.” Buck gives her a crooked smile. “Anyway, then I didn’t want to worry you. Especially when Chris had to have surgery. Like, what kind of brother would I be, dumping all that on you when you’d only get in trouble for wanting to help. Because you would have helped. You’re nice like that.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Maddie blushes, tucking her cardigan around herself as she does.

Buck just levels her a look and says: “Come on, Maddie. We both know you would’ve helped me out with this. You’re just a helper, that’s what you do.” He lists: “ER nurse, 9-1-1 dispatcher, big sister? Ring any bells.”

“Alright, alright, so I would have tried to help,” Maddie says. “But even without mentioning that, you could have told me about the good things, right? I mean, you obviously love being Chris’s dad. You sharing that wouldn’t have worried me.”

“Yeah, I know, but…” Buck trails off, sending her a guilty look.

“What?” Maddie asks, now getting worried.

“Uhm,” Buck looks away, then winces: “I didn’t want Doug to know.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t want Doug to know,” Buck repeats louder, ripping the band aid off. “I didn’t want him to know Chris existed or where he lived. It’s why I always used my job as return address. I didn’t want him finding my family, because he scared me. I knew he scared me and I never came to get you out of there. He didn’t know how to target me when he was here, but he did find you. Do you have any idea how much that killed me? I couldn’t protect you from him. I almost let you die.”

The words steal the breath out of Maddie’s lungs and she just stares at Buck for a moment, as if an animal caught in a trap. A deer in headlights.

Maddie had always known Buck didn’t like Doug, even admitted to him how he was right about that, but she had never known Doug scared him. Had never realized Buck would hide his own family from her to prevent Doug from finding out about it. Another thing she missed out on because of that horrible man she used to call a husband.

She also doesn’t really know how to react to the guilt. How to make it better. It was her own fault for being careless with her door. For thinking she could outrun him forever. She never expected Buck to protect her from Doug. He’d just been a kid when they started dating. He couldn’t have protected her from her own stupid choice.

But she knows saying that won’t go over well. Both Buck, Chimney and her therapist tell her she shouldn’t think like that. But it’s still taking a little for it to sink in. She can almost believe it, though… on some days. Progress?

However, that’s not something she wants to get into now, so she just says: “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Buck says. She can’t know that inside, the guilt of those thoughts he had when running through that forest are eating him up inside. Too big to ever admit to anyone.

“It is,” she says forcefully. “You protected Chris and you should have. Do you think I would have felt better if he hurt your family too? No. I’m alive and you were there. That’s all I needed. I swear.”

Buck eyes her suspiciously for a second, then seems to believe her. Before he can change his mind about it, Maddie swiftly moves on: “So how did that translate into lying to everyone here?”

And Buck tells her about his insecurities, which turned into being too awkward to bring it up to his coworkers. How he finally ended up telling Eddie when Bobby gave him a job offer. Then how that turned into their dumb decision to lie to everyone.

Maddie almost can’t believe how idiotic that is. However, this is Buck and as much as he is not unintelligent, she has also witnessed his many other ‘great’ plans throughout childhood. So, sadly, she can totally believe he thought that was a good idea.

So, she doesn’t focus on that and doesn’t berate him. He obviously has gotten enough and is fully aware that he shouldn’t have done it. Instead, she asks: “So, why not tell me when I got here?”

“Well, you showed up at my job, not like I could introduce Eddie, and then Hen made that comment, so I couldn’t explain then. And in the car, I thought it might be overwhelming, so I was going to tell you later, but then Eddie texted you knew-”

“What?”

“What what?”

“Eddie thought I knew? Why?” Maddie asks, confused, trying to see how he came to that conclusion.

“Chris talked about his two dads, he assumed that meant you knew that meant it was us. We only later figured out it wasn’t,” Buck explains.

“So, what did you think I was doing?”

“Uh… being homophobic?”

“Buck!”

“What!” Buck exclaims. “You weren’t saying anything to me, how was I supposed to know you didn’t know it was us. Eddie said you knew. I didn’t want to pick a fight with you.”

“Please tell me you realized I wouldn’t do that you,” Maddie pleads. She needs to know Buck always knew she would be in his corner. She doesn’t think he is capable of making her hate him.

“Yeah, yeah, we realized pretty soon after. Especially after the whole drugging thing, you know,” Buck assures her. “I thought about telling you then when you were berating me for calling Eddie my husband,” Maddie blushes in hindsight at the memory, “but I had a massive hang over.”

Maddie grimaces at that. With how she reacted in that hospital, she knows she would have yelled at Buck had he told her then. Probably not very nice with a headache. Maybe not really cool to berate him over something he said while drugged either, but she always tries to protect him. Their parents hadn’t really raised him, what if he didn’t know that wasn’t acceptable? Not like there was someone around to tell him.

Buck scratches his nose and thinks for a second, then admits: “I was going to tell you. Before Christmas. I wanted to invite you to our celebration.”

Confused Maddie waits to hear why he didn’t tell her then. She knows he tried to bring her Christmas cheer, was that after or before? See where her head was at? Did she not pass as emotionally stable enough to be invited for Christmas?

Her thoughts – read, spiral – are interrupted by Buck says: “Then Chimney was there. Buff-Friday.”

She remembers that evening, she had thought Buck was weirdly nicely dressed. Guess he wanted to present as an adult to her. It both makes her fond and a little heartbroken. It was also before the Christmas debacle, so at least she didn’t scare him off with that.

“I remember that,” she says. “You were weird that evening.”

“The whole evening was weird,” Buck argues. “You and your half dating, dating Chim. It was so not cool to suddenly pull that. You can’t just invite Chimney over willy nilly to Buckley sibling night.”

“Alright, I won’t,” she promises, unable to fight off the warmth that blooms in her chest at Buck implying there are going to be more Buckley sibling nights. It’s currently weird between the 118 and Buck and Eddie, but she tries to stay out of it. However, she believes they’ll make up someday.

“Good,” Buck decides, believing her promise. Then he moves on: “Anyway, then I couldn’t tell you.”

“What?”

“You were semi-dating Chimney. Chimney can’t keep secrets. I wasn’t going to tell you.”

“I can keep secrets!” Maddie defends herself – she can keep secrets maybe a bit too well, she thinks guiltily – and pouts: “I could have totally kept this one. And told you that you were being an idiot.”

“I know that,” Buck rolls his eyes. “But you don’t like keeping secrets. I wasn’t going to ask you of that, you were putting yourself back out there. I wasn’t going to come between that and make it more complicated for you.”

Now Maddie nearly has to cry. Because that is the sweetest thing she has heard in a long time. Buck is still her little helper, trying to make her life easier. And he is right, she doesn’t like keeping secrets, no mater how good she is at it. He was trying to protect her. Even then.

“God, you’re such a sweetheart,” she tells him, hugging him tight.

Immediately Buck hugs back, pulling her closer as he softly confesses into her hair: “Just trying to pay you back for all you did for me.”

That makes the tears only more prominent and she’s sure Buck can hear it in her voice when she replies: “You never have to pay me back for anything.”

“Still…” Buck deflects.

They sit there in silence for a while, holding each other. It’s not something they’ve really done since Buck was still a little kid. Maddie missed it. She likes doing this now. After everything that has happened these past few months, she needed this.

After they’ve properly soaked in each other’s presence, Maddie demands to know more about Buck’s life here and his embarrassing crush on Eddie. She’s both supportive and teases him. Because that is her right as his sister.

When Buck reveals that Eddie can’t cook, she offers to cook for them. Buck takes it gratefully and she mentally makes a note to stop by with left overs and stuff more often, as well as to offer more help later too.

She goes through the kitchen, helping Buck to one of the chairs there, so she can see what they have and what they still need. Buck texts Eddie to pick up some groceries, before they continue to just catch up further. It’s nice.

They’re still in the kitchen an hour later, when they hear the door open. Chris’s crutches come clattering down the hall, before he stops in the kitchen. Happily, he says: “Hello, papi.” Then he spots her and excitedly gasps: “Tía Maddie!”

Maddie had already paused when Chris called Buck papi, but him calling her tía Maddie makes her stop even more. Logically, she had already realized that Buck was a dad, but having Chris here in front of her, calling her aunt, makes it hit home.

Buck is a father.

Buck has a kid.

Maddie is an aunt.

She has a nephew.

It’s almost too wild to think about and too overwhelming to process. It’s another thing she missed, another thing she wasn’t there for. But also something she is let in on now. Something she gets to have now. A bigger family. Members who aren’t cold and distant. A cute kid she can spoil.

Right around the time, she gets back to herself, Buck smiles: “Yeah, that is tía Maddie. She’s going to make us dinner, so we don’t have to eat daddy’s pasta again.”

Chris giggles at that and conspiratorially tells Maddie: “Daddy’s not good at cooking, pasta is all he can make. We’ve been eating it for a week.”

At that point, Eddie comes up behind Chris, carrying way more grocery bags than healthy or smart, which he drops on the counter. His face is embarrassed as he ruffles Chris’s hair and says: “Okay, that’s enough out of you.”

“I don’t know,” Maddie says, mischievously, wanting to get back at Eddie a little for his attitude from earlier. “I think I’d like to hear more about our food critic here. What do you say, want to be my taste tester?”

“Yes,” Chris cheers.

“Good, come stand here. I’ll chop and you can tell me about what foods you like,” she says, gesturing for Chris to stand with her at the counter, while she goes and grabs the grocery bags.

You can say what you want about Eddie, he can grocery shop well. Everything she wanted is there, right brand too. It takes her a second too long to not be mortifying to realize that’s probably because she taught Buck to grocery shop, so he carried her brand preferences over into his marriage. If Buck usually cooks, then he probably decides brands. It makes her feel weird for a moment, to be connected to Eddie like that, but she shakes it off.

She gets distracted by her nephew – nephew! That is going to make her giddy for a while – who proudly informs her: “I like lots of foods. Papi likes to experiment, we’re his test subjects.”

“Yeah? Do his experiments fail often, or is he good?” Maddie asks. Both genuinely curious and wanting to get to know her nephew and brother better, as well as hoping for some teasing material from this candidly honest kid.

“He’s pretty good, but he burned the brussel sprouts. That was gross,” Chris says in that unabashed manner kids have.

Maddie giggles. “That doesn’t surprise me. Did you know that your papi hated brussel sprouts when he was your age? I had to hide them in the soup just so he would eat them.”

“You knew papi when he was my age?” Chris asks, as if he can’t believe it, which makes Maddie blink for a second.

It hits her then that there was no one there to tell stories about little Buck. Chris didn’t have the Buckley side of the family around him growing up. He had to miss out on that, because she hadn’t bee there to tease Buck, to help with childcare and be a fun aunt.

She vows to make up for that. To never let herself, Buck or Chris miss out on anything again. She was here. She is family and she is going to make sure none of them ever forget that. So, she puts on a smile – one she means too – and says: “I did. I’m his big sister, did I not tell you that? That’s why I’m your tía.”

~~

A/N:

The Buckley siblings always make me a little insane, ngl, but this verse? Ugh, it eats at my brainnnn, it’s unhealthy. Anyway, I went Eddie’s POV for this, since, you know, he realizes he wants to kiss Buck here, which was important, but holy shit, we deserved Maddie’s POV too <3 hope I explained her side somewhat and did her justice!

[kxllosstuff]

my mum is my biggest meanspo, wanna know what she said gi me the other day ?

i was wearing my brother shorts , she looked me dead in the eyes and said “ you’re going to make them explode “ then she started ti say about how fat i am and that im a cow, she started making fun of me and said “ Let’s make a bet, take the scale, if you weigh more than me I’ll give you 50 euros,What are you afraid of it because you are obese?”

i was like 😐 oh thanks mum, thats what i needed your so supportive i love you

[melody-chan333]

Souvenir of Childhood (Pizza Tower Comic Short)

[cr1ms0n4nd-ac3]

First impression, we didnt know who is Aubrey's dad. So my first impression is that he used to be a jock(who likes playing baseball and being a bully) during childhood, but now a tired father who works at a local letter delivery yet had to file a divorce to his wife.

Hes basically a mix of Leon Kuwata and Clay Puppington..

to me at least.

[moonsickwolf]

The voice I heard as a child was right, I'm just broken fragments of everyone I hate. Which do I own? Which can I live with? Divine evils aren't supposed to be right, but through his cruelty he was.

He was rarely loving and enterally disappointed in the ward he chose. But he was right about me. I lived a thousand sleepless nights and bloody wrists defying a truth sayer. Because he was cruel.

I don't think I could ever be more shattered than who I will be when I see him again, my terror, and have to see that smug smirk when he hears the words "You were right". There's no amount of "I told you so"s that could even partially equal my disgust seeing him smile.

I don't want to give it up again, not to him. But I don't have much of a choice, when I was proven no one else would have me like he would. No one else would love me. I might lose everything, but he will be at the end of the sidewalk, waiting.

He'll be glad to see I'm the same child he desired, and I wilt the same.

[garden-of-gay]

You're On Your Own Kid, Part 2

Part 1

So....remember how I said you guys would get comfort, well…..you do, y’all just get more hurt first. I’m sorry, I promise it is coming but a lot of things need to happen first so for now we get sad Steve. 

TW: Some use of homophobic slurs (it’s only once but I figure I still let y’all know)

TW: Implied child abuse (because you know, Steve’s parents suck)

Great Escape

It took quite a while for Steve to calm down and when he did, that is when the embarrassment came flooding in.

“Eds I’m so sorry, I-” Steve was abruptly cut off by Eddie’s voice.

“Sweetheart, why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He was using a tone that made Steve want to cry all over again, it was so soft and caring, in a way that he didn’t know how to process. 

“I– I, I’m not supposed to cry so…so I’m sorry” Steve said softly, but the moment it left his mouth he felt stupid.

“Stevie, who told you that you can’t cry” Eddie was baffled at how such a seemingly strong boy could help others when they stumbled but not offer himself the same courtesy. He also knew that the ones who had told him this had been his parents but still wanted to give Steve the chance to tell him on his own terms. 

“Darling, please, who told you this?” He said it one again, so kindly that Steve couldn’t understand why he was being so sweet to him.

“Why are you being so kind to me? Shouldn’t you be upset with me” Steve asked, fighting back tears once again.

“Babydoll, why would I not be? You deserve all the kindness in the world from me, darling” Eddie waited a moment listening before Steve began to softly speak and with a sadness in his voice that only sent another wave of sadness through Eddie’s already broken heart. 

“Well its just, my parents especially my dad said he can’t deal with criers and no son of his was going to be a sissy, faggot” 

Steve could remember the way his father would yell at him for the tears that would fall down his face as a child; could still envision the rage that would plague his face. Overtime, he learned to stifle his tears until he was alone, to avoid the wrath of his fathers words and fist. Even now knowing his parents weren’t home, because they never were, he would still hide in his closet to cry. 

Eddie began to speak breaking Steve from his thoughts

“I– I’m so sorry Stevie, you never deserved that, still don’t deserve that” He said with his voice breaking. 

“It’s okay, Eds I’m okay, promise” Steve said to not only Eddie but also to himself hoping that if he said it aloud he could make it true” 

Eddie knew it was a lie but decided not to push.

“Hey Eds, I'm tired, I'm going to turn in for the night”

“Yeah.... okay"

"hey, you know I see a great escape for you, I see you running away from the pain they caused you and never looking back. If anyone could do it it’s you” Steve loved the way Eddie had said it, it made it feel so real, that maybe he really could.

“Thanks, so long Daisy May” Steve joked

“Daisy May!? Who the hell is Daisy May?” Eddie asked incredulously

Steve chuckled before answering

“She’s a character that my grandma loved, she’s from a comic I think, I don’t know.” 

Although Steve was tired, he proceeded to speak with Eddie for another hour before finally falling asleep, causing Eddie to eventually hang up.

-

A couple days later he found himself talking to Robin about his conversation, leaving out the part where he cried over the phone; even though he knew that Robin wouldn’t judge him.

“And then we talked for like 4 hours, I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun talking to someone Rob! He’s just so ... .He is just so wonderful.” He said with a certain warmth inside 

“ Aughhh, just ask him out already, Dingus!! He likes you, and listen I love you but if I have to go another shift hearing you wax poetry about Eddie I might just have to hit you” Robin huffed before Steve said something that left her holding back laughter. 

“Okay, listen I thought about but then I found a flower and did the stupid petal picking things that people do and like I got he loves me not which destroyed the thought on the spot” 

“Steve, you’re going to trust a flower over your PLATONIC SOULMATE!!! I can’t believe this” she chuckled. They fought for a bit before getting back to work and finishing their shift off.

-

Steve had gotten home and had two hours to kill before he had to pick up Dustin and then go to Eddie’s for their movie night. He couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation he had last night with the older boy and found himself sitting in his room writing. Steve liked to write, he knew he wasn’t the best at it and had only shown Robin any of his writing but he liked to do it nonetheless. He took out his notebook and began to write, he did something he hadn’t done in a while, he began to write a song. He wasn’t as good as Eddie when it came to music but soon enough two hours had passed and he had made a pretty decent song and would have worked on it more if he had not seen the time and realized he needed to pick up Dustin.

"OH SHIT"

On the drive over he felt the bloom within him that always came from writing and was thinking about whether he should write in his room more often. 

-

He arrived at Dustin’s 15 minutes later to find him already outside.

“Hey Dusty-” Steve began, as Dustin climbed into his front seat he began to rant

“You’re 5 minutes late Steve and now I’m going to be late. Dude, what could you have been doing that made you late!”

“Listen here, shithead, I was busy and lost track of time okay!? Be grateful that I’m even driving your ass” Steve retorted

“Thank you” Dustin grumbled

“Good, now put your seatbelt on” 

“Okay mom” Dustin mumbled under his breath

“What was that? Steve asked

“Hmm nothing” Dustin replied refusing to look at Steve

“That’s what I thought” He said before putting the car in drive and beginning the short drive to the Wheeler’s house

-

After dropping Dustin off and saying hello to all the other brats, Steve found himself on his way to Eddie’s singing along to the songs on the radio. 5 minutes later he parked his Beemer in front of the Munsons government appointed trailer. It was bigger than their previous trailer however it was still much the same. He knocked on the door and heard Eddie moving around inside.

“Hey there Steve, glad you could make it”

“I know, sorry I’m late, I picked up Dustin a little late and then the brats proceeded to greet and mess with me before letting me leave”

“Ehh, don’t worry about it, I’m just teasing you, come in”

Eddie led him into the trailer and got comfortable on the couch before Steve followed suit. He made sure to put a respectable distance between himself and Eddie not wanting to sit too close to him and be weird.

“So... what are we watching?” Steve asked, Eddie chuckled

“Oh just you wait and see big boy”

He then pressed play on the movie and soon rolled the title screen that read Nightmare on Elm Street

“Come on Eds, HORROR!!” Steve exclaimed

“What's wrong Stevie you get scared easily?” He said teasingly

“No, I’ve just seen and experience enough horror in my life to want to watch movies about it” 

“Fair point, but that's what fun, it’s nothing like the real horrors we have seen. Plus if you do get scared you can just hold my hand” Eddie teased.

Steve hoped that he couldn’t see the blush appearing across his face in the dark of the trailer. 

“You wish Munson” Steve replied, teasingly

They watched the beginning portion of the movie, chatting here and there before Eddie had gotten up and went to the fridge. He called out to Steve.

“Do you want a beer, Steve?”

“Sure I’ll take one” Steve hoped that the alcohol would take the edge off and allow him to relax around Eddie because he felt like he wanted to explode everytime Eddie leaned into his space to say something. 

Eddie returned a moment later and handed a beer to Steve

“Thanks man”

“No problem”

Steve had noticed that when Eddie had sat back down he sat closer to Steve causing their thighs to touch, whether Eddie noticed or not Steve wasn’t going to complain. 

Eventually Steve found himself completely pressed to Eddie’s side, enjoying the warmth the the other brought; he hadn’t noticed Eddie’s hand on his shoulder until he began to trace hypnotizing patterns with his thumb. He quickly found himself unable to focus on the movie and only the way Eddie’s thumb would dip ever so slightly under the collar of his shirt grazing the skin underneath. The movie came to a close and Steve would not be able to recall the entire latter half of the movie. 

“So, what did you think?” Eddie asked

“Hmm? Oh it was good, kind freaky, reminds me a little bit to much of something we fought though” He replied

Eddie sighed “Well, it is not for everyone, especially those who have fought interdimensional monster several times”

Steve chuckled “I guess so?”

“Do you wanna hang for a bit longer?” Eddie asked sheepishly

Steve took a moment to silently celebrate in his mind before replying 

“Yeah, that sounds nice”

-

They went to Eddie’s room and were goofing off, talking, and overall being stupid. Steve particularly laughed when he found out that Eddie used to play concerts in parking lots before they ever booked an actual gig.

“No, no you don’t understand, haha, we seriously used to do that and one time Hopper busted us setting up and we all had to haul ass back to the van and lug all of our equipment back as fast as we could” Eddie chuckled

Steve loved the sound of Eddie’s laugh; it was like he lit up everything around him with his laughter making the world glow bright. Steve let it fill his mind and he decided to catalog that amongst the summer sprinkler splashed and warm Christmas fireplace ashes he told Eddie about.

“And, haha, and he pulled up to the van and asked us what we were doing at 10 o’clock at night on a Thursday and the only thing Gareth could think of was to shout that we were camping…in the van. Hopper just told us to scram and that he would let us off with a warning. It was the only time we have been saved by Gareth’s absurd answers under pressure” He recalled, laughing throughout the story causing Steve to laugh with him. 

They joked for a bit before Steve spoke up 

“Hey, Ed’s, thanks for last night I really needed it”

“I already told you it's no problem.” He replied

“I- I know but it still means a lot to me” It was gentle and sincere and the emotion seeped into his voice and for once he allowed it; Eddie gave him the chance to let his guard down.

“Anytime, Anytime” He lightly chuckled with a small smile.

“Did you know that once my parents had ordered me a taxi to a party they were at because they forgot to bring me along when they left” Steve laughed but he could hear the sadness in his voice

“Yeah, yeah, they remembered I existed and thought they needed to show me off so they sent a car to get me. I was I think 7, but hey I guess they thought that a 7 year old was old enough to get into a strangers car by themselves” He released a wet laugh and felt the tears beginning to flow. 

“Hell, once I got there. I searched the party, full of better parents than mine, because HEY at least they remembered their kids right!?” The tears were coming down hard, blurring his vision. It was at this point he felt a strong embrace as Eddie pulled him into his chest and held him. 

“They wanted to show me off and once another parent asked what I wanted to be I said a musician, my dad laughed it off and said that all kids wanted to be something crazy like that and it wasn’t rare.” He hiccupped and choked through sobs.

“That was the first time my parents had left me alone to go on a trip. My father told me you're on your own kid, don't do something stupid, we will be back in a week, see you then. The funny thing is they weren't back in a week because they had called to let me know they had other stuff to take care of and that they would send money. I felt so alone, I was so alone just as I always have been.”

Even now he still felt that horrible pang in his chest and remembers the pain he felt watching his mom close the door only telling him “goodbye Steven” before she too left him. He had long decided against stopping his tears. He was with Eddie, he was safe, he could cry, he didn’t need to hide not with him; not anymore. 

Eddie had stayed silent while Steve talked, just holding him and gently stroking his hair. Steve had fallen silent after a while and was currently just heaving heavy sobs in Eddie’s lap while Eddie whispered to him.

“I know darling, I know, you didn’t deserve that. I won’t let them ever do that to you again, I promise. I got you, I got you. Let it out doll”

Eddie found that even with his red splotchy tear streaked face, Steve was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and would do anything for him.

-

After a while Steve had relaxed a bit and spoke up 

“You know I gave my blood, sweat and tears for this; this life that they wanted me to have and yet they aren’t even here to see what I gave up for them. What I sacrificed to try and be a person they could be proud of. I gave everything for them and they could care less about it.”

Eddie had kept most of his thoughts to himself but could not help saying something.

“I’m proud of you Stevie, I’m proud of the person you are. You are kind and protective, and caring, and, and so loving to everyone. You will put yourself in harm's way if it means someone else is safe. You care so much about the kids and will watch and protect them no matter how annoying they may get. You are one of the most wonderful people I have ever met and my world is better now that I know you, the real you……Steve middle name Harrington, I am so proud of you because you try, no matter what. You’re parents were never deserving of you and the missed out on the greatest opportunity of their life to know you and I feel sorry for them because they are missing out on a pretty great thing”

Tears welled in Steve's eyes and he clung to Eddie as violent sobs rocked his body. He had waited so long to hear those words and hearing it from someone he loved, was in love with. It rocked him in a way he hadn’t seen coming. As he cried he felt Eddie hug him tighter. He felt safe, loved….. tired. So he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift knowing that Eddie would be there to catch him and ground him again. 

Part 3

Okay, so I did a mini deep dive into Daisy May and learned she was a character from the Lil’ Abner comic series from the 40’s and 50’s and was hopelessly in love with Lil’ Abner. Listen if that isn’t Eddie I don’t know what is. What’s the point of this? idk however, I found it interesting. Also so much of Eddie's speech is something I wish someone had told me and I legit had to stop writing because it had gotten to me. So much of how I write Steve and Eddie's dynamic is based on personal experience and things I wish I could have so I'm sorry if this is sad as hell. I'm using this as a way of putting positivity into the world not only for myself but for others. Anyways my little rant is over,there is one more part left where we get some good comfort and tender love for my boys.

Tag List:

@swimmingbirdrunningrock

@barking-at-the-m00n

@acasualcrossfade

[montammil]

Hi there! 🌠

"If anyone wants me to make a side story of drabble..." I mean if you're offering-

Could we get a drabble of romantic yandere Lawrence? I'm interested!

(Also I know it's been a while but please don't apologize for taking a while to post! I love reading whatever you write, regardless of the time it takes! Also I've been totally busy too so I get it-)

Here it is, and thank you for being so understanding!! I'll make this a series if anyone continues to be interested!

CW: Obsessive behavior (romantic and implied platonic for the "kids"), mentioned stalking, mentioned death, kidnapping, violence, broken bones, intimate/creepy whumper, drugging, mentioned alcohol

...

Harper lets out a heavy sigh as they finish off wiping down the bar, glancing at their watch every other minute. With all the disturbing love letters from their "secret admirer" they've been getting, they're starting to feel scared to leave the bar and go home. They spent countless nights awake out of fear.

Some of them could be mistaken for romantic and sweet, but when they got graphic, they got graphic. Harper now feels their heart drop every time they see that familiar red envelope.

They went to the police about it, but they said there was nothing they could do. The letters had no threats, not directly, anyway. It baffled them, considering this was clear evidence they were being stalked, and yet they weren't doing anything about it. Not until they had further evidence.

"You look tired."

Harper gasps and flinches at the sudden silvery voice, only to see Lawrence. They clutch their heart. "Oh my god... hi, Lawrence."

The blond frowns, leaning against the bar. "I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Harper nods, exhaling shakily. "Yeah, yeah I am. I just... uh, I can't seem to sleep lately. Anyway, do you want the usual, or...?"

Lawrence shakes his head. "I'm not getting anything tonight, I actually came over to check on you. You've been acting stressed all week and I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay."

A small smile rises to Harper's lips. "I'm fine, really, I'm just tired."

"I can tell when you're lying, you aren't the most skilled at it," Lawrence laughs softly. He sits on the stool right across from Harper and stares into their eyes. "If there's something going on, you know you can talk to me. I'm not just a customer, you know."

That's a slight surprise to Harper, considering to them, that really is all Lawrence is. A regular who frequents the bar.

"You don't have to worry about me." Harper shrugs. "It's fine. I'm fine."

Lawrence gives a soft chuckle. "If you really don't want to talk about it, I won't force you, but I'm a little worried about my friend."

Harper looks around the bar to see only a young group of friends in the back, seeming about ready to leave. They decide it wouldn't hurt to open up a bit. "I keep getting these... secret admirer letters."

Interest seeming to pique, Lawrence tilts his head. "Really? What did they say? It can't be something so bad to make you this stressed."

Harper blinks, feeling a little embarrassed. "That's what you think. Some of them are kind of sweet, they actually started off pretty romantic, I was almost wanting to meet this secret admirer. Then after about five letters in it started getting... graphic."

"Graphic?" Lawrence raises an eyebrow. "Like... sexual things?"

"Well, yes..." Harper mumbles. "But they weren't all like that. Some of them were just vaguely threatening and creepy. The police said there was nothing they can do so I guess I just have to deal with them and hope they go away, but..."

Lawrence sighs sympathetically. "But you're worried they'll come find you."

"Yeah." Harper rubs their temples tiredly. "It also freaks me out that this person could be anyone. There's no address on the letters so I can assume they come to deliver them themselves. I thought about setting up cameras but they'd probably know if I did. They seem to be following me 24/7 with all the stuff they've put in those letters."

Nodding, Lawrence sighs, "I'm sorry, that sounds awful. You don't think they'd actually try anything, do you?"

"I... don't know. I sure hope not, but the thought is always there."

"Hmm... do you want me to drive you home? I can walk you up to your house."

Harper chuckles. It's a little odd he's offering, but it just seems in character for him. Not to mention Harper had already mentioned last time Lawrence visited that they took the metro to work every day. "You don't need to do that, I think I'll be fine."

"You have a stalker, and you want me to leave you alone to deal with it at 10:00 o'clock at night? That doesn't sound safe," Lawrence argues.

"No it doesn't, but..." Harper trails off when they realize they have no argument. They doubt Lawrence could be the culprit behind the letters, only because this is Lawrence Cross, a pretty well-known celebrity.

They doubt anyone would throw away their career like that, especially over them of all people. Not to mention if Lawrence was hypothetically their stalker, it'd make no sense why he wouldn't have just snatched them away sooner. Hell knows he has the time and money.

Raising a brow, Lawrence repeats, "But?"

"But... nothing. I'll pay you for the ride."

With a chuckle, Lawrence shakes his head. "I'd probably be the worst person ever if I took your money, especially for something like this. Let's go."

Harper feels some relief their shift is over with, glad to be done for the day for the first time in a while. It'll be hard getting to sleep, but they're just happy to get a free ride. They exit the bar after clocking out, smelling the wet concrete beneath their feet. It's calming to smell something that isn't just pure alcohol.

"Where do you live?" Lawrence asks as they both get in the car. His hands rest along the steering wheel, looking at Harper.

They hesitate for a moment, realizing they need to tell a relative stranger their address. However, considering the circumstances and the fact that Lawrence has offered his help genuinely, they decide to share the information.

"I live in the apartment complex on Berkley Street, just a few blocks away," Harper responds, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Lawrence nods and starts the car, smoothly merging into the late-night traffic. The rhythmic hum of the engine fills the silence, creating a sense of comfort within the confined space of the vehicle.

Harper thinks it's a little weird, the fact that Lawrence, a celebrity and stranger, has become involved in the situation at hand. It felt like a fever dream when Lawrence stepped foot in the small dreary bar just a few months back, Harper was sure he was just a celebrity lookalike, and even now they have suspicions.

Considering Lawrence has reserved the entire bar for hours at a time just to watch a stupid football game and sip on whiskey, Harper knows he is the real deal. Probably.

"Soo... how are your kids doing?" Harper asks. Comfortable silence was never a thing for them.

"Pretty good, actually. Nathan's temper tantrums have been improving, I think he's becoming more well-behaved. Sadie and Marshall are doing good, too."

Harper hums in acknowledgement. They turn their head to watch the dimly lit street lights pass by, while also watching Lawrence's reflection in the window. He seems focused on driving, so they decide to stay quiet, just listening to the radio playing quiet 80's music.

Eventually, Harper notices he missed the street to turn on. "Lawrence, you missed it."

Lawrence comes to a stoplight, turning his head to look at them. "Huh?"

"You missed the street."

"Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought."

Harper feels a sense of dread as Lawrence continues driving. They laugh awkwardly. "So are you going to make a U-turn or what?" When Lawrence doesn't reply, the terror really starts to come up. "Y-you know what, I think I'll just get out now, just pull over."

He shakes his head. "I can't do that."

"Why the fuck not? Let me out, Lawrence. This isn't funny." They're about to start hyperventilating, but the sheer adrenaline of wanting to get away from him overpowers every other emotion.

Lawrence clicks his tongue. "You're right, this isn't funny." He's staring straight ahead at the road, completely unfazed.

Harper tries opening the car door, but it's locked, of course. They try to move to Lawrence's side to unlock it, now in a panicked fervor, but Lawrence pushes them and before Harper can blink, a knife goes to their throat. Their eyes go wide.

"I wouldn't do that, love," Lawrence says simply and calmly, like a normal person would say it to someone who was simply annoying them.

The pet name sent shivers down their spine. “What do you want with me?” they whisper.

Lawrence removes the knife from their neck and to his pocket facing the car door on his side. His eyes are still fixated on the road with the occasional glance sent their way. "I want you to be mine."

The words are so simple, yet Harper is still surprised. "Excuse me?" they sputter.

He chuckles. "You heard the news articles? About Nadia?"

Harper shakes their head slowly. "No... I... I mean... I know she…"

"She died, yeah. I grieved for so many years. We were supposed to have a family, y'know? She was the only person who ever really understood me."

"Then she must've been as batshit crazy as you." Harper really didn't expect that to come out of their own mouth that loudly, but luckily Lawrence seems more amused than upset.

"Oh, she was. My point is, she died and left me all alone. Ever since then I've been looking for the right one, but all of them wanted the same thing out of me: money, sex, a status that actually makes them worth something… but then I met you." Lawrence smiles at them.

Harper feels too disturbed to even think of a response.

Continuing, Lawrence says, "You don't care about my fame or my money. We talk just like normal people, just like we are now."

The realization Lawrence thinks this is just a normal conversation makes Harper laugh. "I think we have different definitions of 'normal people'. So what the hell do you want from me?"

Lawrence sends a glare as he drives down the highway. "I want you to be with me."

Harper laughs again. "Yeah... I don't think that's going to happen." They pause, coming to a realization they should’ve from the very beginning Lawrence started acting weird. "You wrote all those letters."

"I sure did. Poetic, weren't they?"

"No. I think creepy and demented would be the best way to describe it."

Lawrence chuckles. "That's pretty harsh, but then again, I knew they'd creep you out. That's why we're here right now, after all."

Harper scoffs. "So you didn't mean any of it?"

He smiles at them. "Oh no, I meant every little word. I just decided to be a bit bolder than I normally would. Did I do a good job?"

They go silent yet again, baffled by this situation. They flinch when they see Lawrence grab a cup from the cup holder, filled with water.

Of course, Harper knows better when Lawrence gives it to them.

"Drink it," Lawrence urges.

It takes all their energy to bite back the snarl in their voice. "I don't feel like taking a nap, but thanks for the offer."

Lawrence looks a little impressed. "I'm glad you've grown a brain, but I wasn't asking. Drink it."

They recoil further away from Lawrence, half of their back pressing into the car door behind them. "Fuck you, asshat."

"Your insults remind me of my eldest. Here's the deal, love, you either drink it willingly, or I force you."

The reminder Lawrence does indeed have a knife ready makes them scared, they'll admit, but not enough to act like this is all fine. Harper stares at the cup for a long moment before looking up at Lawrence. "Fine," they grit through clenched teeth.

Lawrence pats their cheek. "Good, you're learning!"

Harper hesitantly sips at the water. The cool liquid runs down their throat, soothing the dryness. Yet there's not a single doubt in their mind this is drugged, even if Lawrence didn't practically just confirm it for them. They can slightly taste the chalkiness of the crushed pills.

Lawrence watches them closely, and as he comes to another stoplight, he notices Harper is stalling, only having had a few small sips. "In the next five minutes, I better see all that water gone."

It reminds them of a parent scolding their child. They roll their eyes, but obey.

The last thing Harper sees are blurring traffic lights and Lawrence's honeyed voice.

"Sleep well, honey."

...

When Harper awakes, they find themself freezing cold. They have to practically pry their eyes open to see its dark. A basement.

Realization hits them hard. They try to get out of the cuffs around their wrists and ankles, but to no avail. It's hard to make out anything in the basement, but they find stuffed animals, blankets, and chains in the corner of the room. Harper prays that Lawrence doesn't treat his kids like this, at least. Surely not.

The door creaks open. Harper whips their head up to see Lawrence, smiling and descending the stairs. "It's already 1:00. You really slept in. I guess I'm not shocked, considering you haven't been getting any good sleep recently. You went to bed at 4:00 in the morning yesterday, so I can't blame you there."

At this point, Harper doesn't even know why they're shocked. "Right. You've been stalking me, too. How was that going for you? Learn anything else interesting?"

Lawrence seems to really ponder their question. "You did have a pretty dull life. It made me a little depressed just following you around. Even when you'd go out to parties you'd just get drunk and throw yourself on anyone who talked to you."

"Thanks for the observation." Harper's eye twitches.

He laughs. "Anyone can observe that, now that I think about it. But I do know everything there is to know about you. I know your history, your medical and criminal records, your likes and dislikes, and of course, your personality. I'd say I know more about you than your own family, but you haven't seen them in five years now!"

Harper's face burns red and it's becoming more difficult to breathe. "You say you love me and then you just talk a bunch of shit about me. How does that make sense?"

"I do love you," Lawrence says matter-of-factly. Harper can't believe how calm he sounds. "I'm just speaking my mind. Isn't that what partners do for each other?"

"Oh, so we can speak our minds? Okay, here's what I think: I think you're a lonely, crazed lunatic who's out of touch with reality. Here's some news, just because you get handed everything you want doesn't mean it's going to work with people, and certainly not me. And if you think I'm going to act like this is all okay, then you're seriously delusional."

Lawrence narrows his eyes. "So that's how it is, huh?"

Bold as their words may be, Harper doesn't even care. "Yeah, it really is."

"Alright." Lawrence stands there for a moment, cold eyes staring right down at Harper. Anger flashes in his eyes, and in a swift movement, he stomps on Harper's ankle, and the sound of a hideous snap echoes in the basement.

Harper screams shrilly, and soon their screams turn into wails of agony when Lawrence kicks them in the ribs. They try to crawl away, but Lawrence puts his shoe down on their back, keeping them pinned to the ground.

"Normally I'd say I don't want to hurt you, that this is all for your own good, but... I'd be lying if I said I don't enjoy this. I mean, look at you... you're normally so confident and witty, but now you're just a crying mess on the floor. My poor darling." He removes his shoe to kneel down, turning Harper so their back is on the basement floor. He grabs their face to look at him. "Do you want me to stop?"

Cringing from pain, Harper doesn't reply. They lift their head weakly to look at their ankle, breath hitching at the awful sight. It's swollen, already tinging purple. More tears cascade down their cheeks.

"Let me get these." Lawrence swipes his thumb underneath Harper's eyes, and much to Harper's disturbance, licks their tears right off his thumb. "Now you have two options, my love. Either you apologize to me and we can go upstairs and have lunch after I bandage you up, or you can stay down here with your broken ankle and starve for the night."

Harper tries to think logically, as much as the pain is making it hard to do so.

It was cold, they hadn't eaten in a while, and they just wanted this excruciating pain to stop. However, the thought of giving this man any kind of satisfaction left a bad taste in their mouth.

Harper gives him a scornful smile through their tears. "Fu-fuck you."

"What a shame." Lawrence stands back up. "I hope you'll be a little more appreciative by tomorrow, but if not, I have all the time in the world to make you into a more loving partner. See you tomorrow, honey."

With that, the door clicked shut behind Lawrence.

[treemice]

I know teen girls are stereotyped to self diagnose with all kinds of personality disorders ("OMG I'm so bipolar" kind of vibe) but do they actually do that? And when they do do they actually believe that they have it? I'm asking this AS a teen kind-of-girl

Because on one hand if they actually believe it I'd understand because idk estrogen makes me gen feel like I'm going fucking insane sometimes. I'm not really a mentally healthy person, I'm prone to depressive episodes and I've been passively suicidal for most of my life, I've had OCD since I was like 7 and I've struggled with SH, so maybe it's just my autism brain thinking that everyone's being literal about that. But idk I've felt like... like a danger to myself before just on the basis of "I'm not normally in this good of a mood, my blood feels like it's dancing, if I jumped off the school balcony i bet I'd survive" and while I know that that's not true and I'd DIE i feel like i have 2 brains, the irrational emotional one, and the logical "you will die don't be a dumbass"/"you're being paranoid relax" one. And when I'm feeling irrational I get scared because I dont feel like i can trust myself to not do something dangerous.

But on the other if they don't mean it its caused me to think a lot of "phases" is normal. Like I was actively suicidal when I was 12 and when i watched a movie about a 12 year old girl that was depressed and a doctor said "being 12 is just one of those ages" I assumed it meant that being suicidal was a normal part of growing up and it'd go away in time.

[mad-hunts]

19.     entry made talking about a simple    /   normal day.

'dear diary' prompts...

[TRANSCRIPTION: so, i'd like to start this off by saying that i sometimes crave a sense of normalcy more than ever in my life... though i know that people might not expect something like that out of me. you know, because i seem so devoted to my work, i guess. but i have to say that after getting a taste of it today, it's probably when i'm at my happiest. me and jack had spent the day together, which is something we actually rarely get to do. he had told me about this crepe place that had opened up a little while ago and he seemed really eager to go there. so i invited jack to do that this morning and i swear, i hadn't seen him smile that big in a while. which did something funny to my heart.

and by that, i mean you know that feeling you get when you can't contain the love you have for someone? yeah that was pretty much what ended up happening to me; a fuzziness had hit me in the chest. but after we went there, and jack ate an impressive amount of crepes (he was really fond of the nutella and strawberry ones), my son suggested that we see this new movie that came out recently. and it was hard to pass up so of course i said yes. we snuck in some candy and drinks because, honestly, who wants to pay for the overpriced candy they have? not us so we did that and just like i expected... the theater was pretty packed since it was for the new hunger games movie. it was good though!

anyhow, after that, jack wanted to spend some time just hanging out by the water when he did something that surprised me. jack hugged me. and it was really nice, because i can't remember the last time my son gave me one like that. he went on to tell me that he missed 'this part of me.' this got me to thinking that, yeah, i have been treating him not so well for a while. so maybe i ought to change that. jack deserves to have a father who doesn't switch up on him every day, from being mean to being nice.

maybe i'll call my therapist back and tell her i want to start seeing her again. she might've said some things that i didn't like the last time, one of those being that i exhibit behaviors that are typical of sociopaths — but i guess i can make an exception for jack, because he's my little bug.

signed, barton. ]

[archangeltwins]

living with this as an undiagnosed / misdiagnosed kid & teen, and now she wants to claim that she 'quit her job to take care of me'???????

examples I can remember/haven't entirely blocked out:

- calling me bitch, selfish, lazy, ungrateful, entitled, asshole, worthless

- empty-feeling praise or encouragement

- emotionally distant?

- felt my accomplishments were not my own, that they were only for them

- always had to pick which parent was right in a petty argument, to "back them up"

- NEVER felt that I was allowed to express emotions the correct way

- has never admitted she's wrong and makes me out to be the martyr instead

- accusing me of being a fibber, that everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie

- "you haven't been abused"

- wants me to apologize to her most times, instead of the other way around

- bringing up my past mistakes and provoking me into getting angry with her ("why are you always so angry with me/us?")

- ignoring my privacy or boundaries (wanting to know who I'm talking with, then tells me "she doesn't care who I talk to") on my phone/barging into bedroom unannounced, even when door is closed

- never let me shut/lock my door throughout childhood, always wanted me to keep it open "to see if I was doing anything suspicious"

- door taken off the hinges for punishments I can't remember/or blocked out entirely (stupid ones, like slamming too hard)

- always having to ask permission to do things (go out with friends/buy stuff/etc)

- telling me when I got upset that I was "too sensitive' or that I "couldn't take a joke"

- she has spanked me until I cried (younger), as I tried to protect my bottom from the smacks I was told to move my hands

- always thinks I have an "attitude" (and forbid I try to explain myself...)

- "I'm your mother!"

- "my house, my rules" (but if the house needed cleaning, it was "my" house too?)

- "I yell because I love you"

- "I brought you into this world, I can take you out" (threatening me with murder, great!)

- said that living "under their roof" was a privilege, not a right

- insults as sarcasm or put-downs, especially during lectures

- complains about how i never do anything, then jumps to do it once we offer (with a huff and "ungrateful" or "lazy")

- threatened suicide during a fit just to get us to pay attention to her

- said that if "[therapist] doesn't give them the answers they want" then I won't be going anymore

- threatened to take my phone/cut off service/etc to try and get me to feel...small? reliant on them?

- "you're not the adult in this house and you don't get to make the rules"

- also threatened to "take everything they've paid for" out of my room and leave me with the stuff I've bought

- threatening abandonment "driving off and never coming back"/etc after tirades

- "we're not the problem, you are"

- "we love you and want to see you happy" (right...)

- "we're the parents and you're the child"

- during "family meetings", she wanted to record what I say/do and I didn't get to have a say whether I want her to or not

- used to yell and get furious, then "apologize" and act completely normal (always thought that her quick flip to normalcy was so bewildering)

- used to make me decide my own punishment (soap/spoon/flyswatter/etc)

- threatening to send me to a psych ward bc of an autistic shutdown

- both of them used me as their sounding board to vent about the other parent when they should've been going to FUCKING THERAPY

- i would be so terrified of her blowups that i'd self-punish before she got home by putting all my electronics in her room

- sound of her car keys / car door shutting? instant dread and cold fear

[chuchayucca]

Discussions of implied fictional CSA & SA

I recently been wondering if there’s a chance Richard thinks Roy’s aggressive and distant behavior is normal and not a sign of CSA because he acted similarly to Roy when he was younger

Reasonings in the tags

[schrijverr]

The Permanence of Saying It Out Loud

Buck and Eddie are already married, but Eddie is overseas on tour while Buck raises Chris the best he can alongside his new job at the 118. He doesn’t want the pity, so he doesn’t mention his life outside the firehouse to his colleagues. However, bit by bit, they learn more about their youngest member and his family.

On AO3.

Ships: Buck x Eddie

Warnings: implied homophobia and bad parenting (not Buck and Eddie, but their parents), injuries, military, minor call to a school.

~~~

Being a single parent isn’t the easiest, especially when you combine it with a partner being stationed over sea and at war, scared that you can lose them every day and doing everything alone suddenly becomes permanent.

Some days, those thoughts nearly crush Buck. The fear that Eddie won’t come home, that it will be just him and Chris for the rest of time. That they’ll only have a flag and some pictures, never a new memory.

And he knows how everyone reacts to him sharing that his partner is over sea, that they have a kid together and it’s just him for the time being. He can’t stand their looks, those pitying eyes. He hates that he can hear them think all sorts of things; how sad he must be, how shit it is of Eddie to leave, how he’s been practically abandoned, a widower in the making.

Buck hates those looks. He isn’t being abandoned. Eddie will come back and he doesn’t need anyone implanting any ideas into his head.

Besides, Eddie has done this for Chris, he’d never just leave. When Shannon left, Buck had been injured unable to work and another tour was the only way to keep them from drowning in debt. It is different now. Buck has a good job with heath insurance. When – yes, when not if – Eddie comes back, he never has to leave again. They just need to get through this.

Sure, Buck is sad. Fuck. He misses Eddie every single day. But he’s getting through this, they’re all getting through this, no matter what other people think.

However, he doesn’t need every person he meets to fuel his darkest fears and all his insecurities. It is ridiculous to be insecure about Eddie leaving when the man married him and let him adopt his son, but some things are deeply rooted. So, for his own sake, he doesn’t mention his family.

And it’s not as if people ever suspect. Who would? Buck is 26 and a happy go lucky person by nature, why would anyone think he’s been married for years and has a kid that would’ve made him a teen dad had he been a part of the conception.

The academy isn’t a place he made a lot of friends, preferring to get through it as quickly as possible to create a reliable stream of income to get Chris into a good school.

Now he has been assigned the 118 and he’s nervous as hell. It’s the first actually long term job he’s had since he left the army and he wonders what it’ll be like to work in a team. If they’ll like him or if the work environment will be strictly professional. If they’ll ask questions about his personal life or just let him be.

As it turns out, it is the former for both those musings. They welcome him into their fold easily and Buck quickly learns that these people care. They care so much. The firehouse is a family and Buck is getting adopted into it whether he wants to or not.

He wants to keep up the distance as he always does, but it’s a little hard to maintain that, because he likes that people care about him. Likes that they check in with him, that they invite him to come to drinks with them, that they joke around with him.

Buck declines practically all invitations, though he tries to be at a few of the scheduled gatherings by coordinating with Abuela and Pepa to watch Chris while he’s there. Because he wants that friendship with his coworkers. He enjoys being around them.

With them he can be the baby of the group, the reckless rookie, who is a little irresponsible. He runs in head first without a plan, letting the others be the reliable mature adults. It’s nice to let others worry and be responsible for everything for a bit. He likes having that for himself.

Which means he doesn’t really want to tell them, because it’ll come with those looks and a whole lot of questions. And then they’ll have opinions about how he behaves, expectations of what he should do instead, maybe even comments on his parenting or the lack of co-parent. He doesn’t want that, he likes what he has now. He doesn’t want to risk it.

So, he keeps quiet, laughs that it’s a long story why his nickname is Buck, even though his name is Evan Diaz and lets them speculate on a wild social life that he doesn’t have outside of work that makes it that he declines so much.

It’s not perfect exactly, but it works.

Being with the team allows him to forget that he’s supposed to worry about Eddie, lets him be in a place without constant reminders of the husband, who is danger every single day. Eddie thinks the same of him of course, but war isn’t the same as car crashes, fires, or getting people unstuck from traps of their own making.

Just having his mind off of everything, getting to focus on the problems of others instead of his own, helps him recharge so he can be the best dad for Christopher. He selfishly allows himself to have that.

When he tells Eddie about it on their weekly phone call, wracked by guilt about lying, about hiding them, Eddie says: “Cariño, you don’t need to feel guilty. I know you’re not ashamed of us. You’re doing all you can.”

“I know,” Buck replies, not knowing why he still feels so bad about it. “I just- What if I’m not enough? Fuck, Eds, I need to forget about everything for a few hours to function. What does that say about me?”

“That you’re human, mi amor,” Eddie tells him gently. “You’re doing more than enough. You’re there for him. You’re not running. That’s more than me and Shannon can say.”

“Babe,” Buck sighs. They’ve had the argument often enough. He hates Eddie talking about himself like that and Eddie knows it. Even if right now it does cheer him up a little.

“I know, I know,” Eddie smiles gently. “I’m not running now, it was the best option. All I’m saying is that I also did pretty extreme things to stay sane, not mentioning you’re married isn’t the end of the world.”

“Thank you,” Buck returns the smile, before they move onto other topics.

Meanwhile the rest of the team observes Buck. Despite being very chatty and friendly, they slowly realize that they barely know the man outside of work. He’ll pull out a random fun fact at least once every shift, but he never mentions what he does himself off the clock.

They try to get him to open up, asking about what he did in the weekend or what his evening plans are when he declines.

He always has a vague excuse of being busy or catching up on sleep ready. Chim thinks he has a lot of one night stands that he’s embarrassed about, Hen has money on stripper side job, while Bobby tells them it’s unprofessional, then bets on trying to keep up a former frat house life.

Buck is aware that the others are curious, but none of them have straight out asked, so he never says. He wonders if he will when someone does, or if he’ll lie. He’s a bad liar straight on, a better one when it’s by omission. Do these people know him well enough to spot it if he lies or will he spin something – probably idiotic – that will become his life for however long it lasts before that implodes?

None of them ever get to find out, because the first hole in Buck’s lie by omission is poked by the alarms going off. Buck’s heart sinks when Bobby announces there’s been an accident at a school, but no just any school, Christopher’s school.

Never before has anyone gotten into that engine as fast as Buck does in that moment, pulling out his phone with shaking hands as he sends Chris a text. No answer.

The others all notice Buck’s nerves, the way his leg jiggles the whole way there, how he ignores or doesn’t seem to process their worried looks. All have noticed how he is with kids on calls, most assume he just hates knowing kids are in danger.

As it turns out, it wasn’t as serious as suspected. A class had been cooking as a fun way to learn about nourishment when an oven had malfunctioned. There was a fire, but it was small and the 136 already has it under control by the time they arrive.

Still, the school has evacuated and the 118 is there as back up in case it gets out of hand and to check over the kids.

The second their boots touch ground, Buck takes off. He often runs off on his own, but this isn’t that kind of call and the others watch in confusion as he starts going through the kids, calling out: “Chris. Chris! Christopher!”

Buck meanwhile is nearing cardiac arrest. Chris had been excited about cooking in class recently and his mind conjures all sort of fear visions where he’d been hurt and left behind, seen as a liability in the evacuation, or forgotten and immobilized somewhere. He’d heard enough horror stories of disabled people not being taken into account in evacuation plans to worry himself into an early grave.

Then, breaking through the crowd is his angel, walking towards him on his crutches as he happily calls out: “Papa! Are you here to save the day?”

Relieved Buck gathers Chris into his arms, hoisting him up to give his a kiss on the cheek. “Yeah, Superman, I’m here to save the day. Why didn’t you answer my texts?”

“We’re supposed to leave our bags behind when we evacuate,” Chris answers.

It’s such a simple thing and kind of understandable. If you have to wait for a couple of hundred kids to pack their bags before leaving, you’re never getting out of there before the building burns down, still it gave him a lot of gray hairs.

He cradles Chris’s head against his shoulder and breathes his scent in deeply. “Next time carry your phone in your pocket, okay buddy?”

“Okay,” Chris agrees easily.

In the background the 118 watches in shock as their youngest member finds what appears to be his son in the crowd. It’s completely unexpected to see Buck like this. There’s not an irresponsible bone in his body to be found right now, just 100% parental concern.

As the father and son connect, Bobby talks with one of the teachers there, who tells them where the kids closest to the fire are. He sends Chimney and Hen towards them, going to collect Buck for himself.

Buck is just hugging Chris now, assuring himself that he’s okay after the scare he just had when he hears Bobby come up behind him. He turns towards his Captain and sheepishly says: “Hi, Cap. This is Chris, well, Christopher. Chris, this is my Captain, Bobby. Remember I told you about him?”

“It’s nice to meet you, young man,” Bobby replies, holding out his hand.

With practiced ease, Buck moves to hold one of Chris’s crutches so he can shake Bobby’s hand as he sends the man a happy smile. “It is nice to meet you too.”

“I need to borrow your-” he sends a questioning look to Buck as he cautiously adds, “dad,” when Buck says nothing to correct him he continues on, “to come help check the other kids. Want to join us to see your dad work?”

“Yes!” Chris cheers and Buck sends Bobby a thankful look. The idea of being separated from Chris right now seems unbearable.

The three of them make their way to Chim and Hen. Buck puts Chris down in the grass near them and goes to check over kids alongside Bobby, shooting looks at Chris every so often, ignoring how Chim and Hen to the same to him, though theirs are more confused than concerned.

None of the kids are hurt beyond band aid work, which is a relief. Buck hates seeing kids get hurt, especially when they’re close to Chris.

When they’re nearly done, one of the teachers approaches them. She knows Buck from pick up, so she says: “We’ve been calling parents to come get their kids. We’re sending everyone home early today. If you want you can get Christopher’s stuff and sign him out now, save yourself the trip.”

“I’ll need to check it over with my Captain. Maybe Pepa will come get him instead,” Buck replies, internally cursing. Abuela hasn’t driven in years and Pepa is working today. He might get some time to drop him off at Abuela’s house, but he really shouldn’t impose so much. She already had Chris for two days this week when he had a 48 hour shift.

The others are finishing up now, which means they’ll have the time to descend on him with questions.

Wanting to delay his execution, he goes to Bobby first, lowly saying: “Chris’s teacher says I can sign him out now, since they’re all being send home for the day. I need some time to figure out a babysitting arrangement with Abuela or tía Pepa. I’m so sorry.”

“Buck,” Bobby places a hand on his shoulder. “There is no need to apologize for this. Chris can ride with us to the firehouse and we’ll watch out for him until you have this sorted.”

“Thank you so much,” Buck says sincerely. He is so very grateful Bobby is taking this in stride and giving him space to organize himself.

Then Buck flees, yes, flees. He is man enough to admit that he quickly leaves with Chris to go get his stuff and sign him out, before Chimney and Hen can get there.

The two are just in time to watch him walk away. Hen asks Bobby: “What did he ask?”

“We’re going to have a visitor at the house today until he can get a babysitter,” Bobby answers.

“More interesting question, where did he get the kid?” Chimney interjects.

“Chim, you must know how babies are made.”

“Oh shove, Hen, you know what I mean,” Chimney rolls his eyes. “Nothing out of him for months and suddenly he pulls out a kid. Aren’t you curious?”

“I mean, it does explain why he always cancels,” Hen says. “God knows that organizing everything with Denny can be rough sometimes.”

Now, Bobby likes to think himself above these things, but he totally isn’t. So he adds: “He mentioned seeing if his grandma or aunt could watch over him.”

“Just them, no other partner?” Hen asks, before whistling: “I can’t imagine doing that alone.”

“Sorry, I think my brain just broke a little trying to imagine how anyone left probie Buck in charge of a small child by himself,” Chim comments.

“Alright guys, that’s enough,” Bobby says, spotting Buck coming out of the school with Chris. “Let’s go. The 136 can handle it from here.”

Buck has already buckled in Chris when they get to the engine and is putting away the rest of his gear. He stiffens slightly when they arrive, which softens Hen a little, so she hits him with an easy one first. “So, how old is he?”

“He’s seven,” Buck smiles, unable to help the expression when talking about Christopher.

“Jeez, that’s quite old already,” Chim whistles.

“Yeah, you must have been like eighteen when he was conceived,” Hen does the math quickly.

“Damn,” Chim adds.

“What?” His eyes widen slightly in surprise, then he throws them another curve ball. “Oh. No. Chris isn’t mine.”

“Not yours?” Hen asks, following Buck to the engine so they can get in.

“Long story,” is all Buck replies.

“Where are his parents?” Hen continues to prod, curious how Buck ended up in this situation. She knows how she did and it’s not often she meets people like her, so she can’t help but poke her nose in, despite knowing how annoying it can get.

Unfortunately, her question isn’t heard by just Buck and it’s Chris who answers: “Mommy left us and daddy’s gone now.”

A painful and awkward silence falls over the people gathered in the engine. No one quite knows what to do with that revelation and the casual tone in which Christopher says it, as if being abandoned by both parents is a normal thing.

Buck break the silence with a strained laugh, giving Chris a side hug as he says: “Yeah, uhm, it’s just us two for now. But we make a great team, right, Superman?”

“Yeah!” Chris cheers, evaporating the last of the tension.

They amuse him with stories about being a firefighter, especially Buck’s antics, on the ride back much to Chris’s delight. Buck watches him fondly, a stark difference to his usual slightly mischievous grin. He suddenly doesn’t look like the team baby anymore, but like the adult he actually is.

At the station, Buck gives Chris a tour, the others butting in to add their own tidbits and fun facts here and there. They’re all still dying of curiosity, but after the reveal in the engine, they don’t feel like prodding when the kid is near.

When that is done, Buck stations Chris on one of the couches with the controller to play video games, saying: “This counts as your after school screen time, alright, kid. No arguing tonight and I’ll make pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, deal?”

“Deal,” Chris agrees seriously after a few seconds of deliberation.

“Good,” Buck grins, ruffling Chris’s hair, before he goes downstairs to have some privacy as he makes some phone calls.

When Buck returns, Chimney and Chris are racing as Hen cheers Chris on, shittalking Chimney with a big grin. He plops down next to Chris and cheers him on as well, the rest of them laughing at Chimney when he looses spectacularly.

Once the round is over, he says: “Tía Pepa is gonna use her lunch break to bring you to Abuela, I’ll pick you up there when I’m done with work, okay. She’ll be here in thirty minutes.”

“I don’t wanna go with tía Pepa,” Chris pouts, crossing his arms. “I wanna stay here at work with you.”

“You know I can’t do that, buddy.”

“Why not? Please, papa, I’ll be so well behaved.”

“I know you will, Chris, but it’s dangerous. We might get called away to scary places where I have to help. It’ll be chaos and I can’t watch out properly for you there. I made a promise to keep you safe, remember? You wanna tell daddy you made me break my pinky swear?”

Silently, the 118 lets out a relieved breath at Buck mentioning Chris’s father. With the way the kid said gone, they feared he might have meant death. But this sounds like maybe Buck isn’t entirely alone, even if the comment clears up nothing as to how Buck got to be in charge of the kid.

Meanwhile Chris’s pout persists, even when he slumps slightly in defeat. He huffs: “I just wanna be a firefighter like you, papa.”

Everyone can see how Buck melts at that, hugging Chris close to his side. “Thanks, little man. I’m sure you’ll be a kick ass firefighter. And we also have enough time to go down the pole before tía Pepa gets here, what do you say?”

“Can I really?” Chris asks with big excited eyes.

“Of course, Superman, let’s go!” Buck matches his enthusiasm, roping the whole team into helping Chris go down the pole. Twice.

They’re interrupted by Pepa arriving. When Buck spots her, he says: “Alright, tía Pepa is here. Be good her and Abuela, okay? Remember, I’ll pick you up the second I’m done here and we can have a night together, yeah?”

“Okay,” Chris says moodily, moving to gather his stuff upon Buck’s further instructions.

As Chris does that, Pepa says: “Evantino, you can’t keep doing this. Mamá is getting old. She’ll hurt herself one day if you keep letting her raise him while you work.”

“I know, tía, I know. I’m working on it. We’re still settling, you know how the paperwork gets, it’s one big bureaucratic maze,” Buck replies softly, not wanting Chris to overhear them arguing, especially when it’s about him. “It’s enough of a headache to figure everything out with Eddie’s insurance. It hasn’t been the priority.”

“Make it a priority, before it ends in a hospital,” Pepa tells him sternly.

Buck sighs, turning into himself. However, he manages to plaster on a happy look to say goodbye to his kid, waving him out the door with many promises of a fun night and pancakes for breakfast. The mask only slips off when the two are out of sight.

Hen comes up next to him, a comforting hand on his arm. “That looked rough. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Buck tells her tiredly, looking much older than he is. “It’s just a lot to keep track off.” Weakly he jokes: “I use all my common sense points on figuring out the paperwork that I don’t have any left here at work.”

“Paperwork can do that to a man,” Chimney jokes back, trying to give him that much at least. It’s a success, because Buck gives him a small smile.

Getting them back to more serious and relevant topics, Hen asks: “Why are you doing it all alone? Where are his parents?”

Buck takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “His mom left a few years ago. She wasn’t ready to be his mom. Or a mom in general. When she and Chris’s dad got divorced I thought an extra set of hands would be enough to keep her in Chris’s life, but when her mom got sick, she left and didn’t look back. She lives here, actually. I wanted see if she felt up to being a parent now, since Eddie, Chris’s dad, is off in Afghanistan, but it’s a no still. Eddie’s a soldier, by the way. Army medic.”

That explains why Buck is doing this alone, Hen thinks. He has too big a heart, stepping in to help his girlfriend, then sticking it out even when she leaves. She respects him for it, even if it’s a huge commitment to make at his age.

Chimney claps Buck awkwardly, saying: “That’s rough, buddy.”

“Really?” Buck asks incredulously. “Avatar?”

“What, it’s a classic,” Chim defends himself. “I’m surprised you know it with how media illiterate you are.”

Buck shrugs: “Chris likes it.”

Before the bickering can derail further, Bobby joins them. “Well, you’re not entirely alone now, Buck. You have us. I’m sure you had your reasons for not saying it earlier, so I’m not going to pry, but if you need something to take of Chris, all you need to do is say so.”

“Thank you so much, Cap,” Buck says, hugging the Captain tightly, before letting go, wiping his tears. Hen gets it, the relief of knowing someone is at your side, she still remembers that feeling from when Karen agreed to raise Denny with her.

She also steps closer to Buck and offers: “I’ve been in the field a long time, I know a lot of health care professionals, nurses, caregivers. If you want, I could introduce you to someone to make the bureaucratic nightmare that is the US healthcare system a little easier to navigate.”

“That- that would mean a lot,” Buck says, hugging her too. “Thank you.”

Chimney cheerfully offers: “I can be a fun guy feeding your kid fast food and being a minor bad influence when he stops by again. Got nothing else I’m afraid.”

Buck grins and he slings an arm around Chimney. “That’s also appreciated, man. Thanks.”

After that, it’s a little different. Not in the way Buck feared, though. Now that they know that this job is the non-stressful part of his life, they can steer him straight more easily and having them know about Chris makes it easier to organize everything, even allowing him to hang out with the others, become closer.

Chris talks about his daddy who is being a hero far away from time to time and people give him the look that Buck dreads sometime, however, they don’t seem to have realized that Chris isn’t the only one waiting for Eddie to come home to his family. Buck is strangely grateful for it.

The others don’t ask him how he’s dealing with it all, but how Chris is, allowing him to talk about it all through a proxy. It’s strangely nice. Having this family is strangely nice.

Naturally that means it can’t last.

This whole having a nice family and dealing with it without having to share gets blown to pieces when Buck gets a phone call while at work. They’re all hanging around by the kitchen while Bobby cooks when his phone rings. He picks up without really looking who it is: “Hi, this is Buck.”

“Hello, is this Evan Diaz?” the voice greets.

Fear grips his heart and he walks away from the group to get some privacy as he says: “Yes, this is he. How can I help you, did something happen?”

The others look in confusion as Buck walks away after picking up the phone, his voice seeming off somehow. They keep watching as he listen, then suddenly he stumbles, sobs and goes down to his knees. In a broken voice they hear him ask: “Oh, god, is he alive? Please, tell me he’s alive.”

Worry immediately takes over all of them and they rush to their youngest member, who is barely holding it together. They watch as he crumbles in relief. “Oh thank fuck. Where is he? Can I see him?”

Whoever is on the other side of the line must reply, because Buck is nodding: “Yes, yes, of course, thank you. I’ll- I’ll be there when I can.”

He hangs up with trembling hands, another sob ripping from his throat. Hen shares a worried look with Bobby and Chimney, gathering Buck into a hug. He clutches her arm tightly and she rocks him back and forth for a moment, before asking: “What happened, Buck? What’s wrong?”

“My- my husband,” Buck gasps. “He- he got shot down. Fuck, he’s in a- a coma. In a hospital in fucking Ger- Germany somewhere.”

That is one hell of a revelation and all three 118 members present freeze for a second, sharing another look. This one is more disbelieving, as if to ask: ‘Did you hear that too? Or am I going crazy?’

However, this isn’t really the moment to ask for clarification, because Buck is still sobbing: “Oh god, he might- he might die. All this time I didn’t want people to- to pity me, because he was gonna come back. He is supposed to come back. Doing it a- alone is not- it’s not meant to be permanent. I- I can’t do it alone.”

“Okay, Buck, just breathe, okay, breathe with me,” Bobby starts encouraging him to follow Bobby’s breaths, knowing Buck needs to calm down before he can think rationally about this.

Chimney flies to get him a glass of water, while Buck tries to do as Bobby instructs. Hen just keeps rubbing his back, hoping the touch is as soothing as intended.

After a while Buck has his breathing under control and the tears have slowed down. Once he is deemed okay enough, Bobby carefully asks: “Want to tell us what happened?”

Buck nods, then sniffles: “Eddie, he- he rescued a convoy. The chopper went down, he pulled everyone out. He got- oh god, he got shot.”

The tears start up again and Buck struggles to get himself under control for a few seconds, before he can go on. “They’re gonna move him to Washington and I know that moving him means he’s doing well, like I know that, logically. But… fuck. He’s in a coma. So many things can go wrong. Chris can’t lose his father like this, I can’t lose him like this.”

“You don’t move a patient that far unless you’re confident in their ability to make it safely into transit,” Hen tells him gently. “First you stabilize, remember? Eddie is going to be fine. You’re going to see your husband again.”

“You really think so?” Buck asks with big insecure eyes that are still wet from the tears.

Hen’s heart breaks a little at the sight and she puts as much conviction into her voice as she can when she answers: “Yes, I do.”

“Thank you,” Buck says, tears spilling again. “I’m so sorry for never saying anything. About him, you know.”

“It’s alright, Buck. It’s your life to share,” Bobby tells him. “I hope we didn’t make you uncomfortable or scared to share.”

“No, not that,” Buck assures him immediately. “It’s just easier, you know. To keep it to myself. People just always give you those looks. Those stupid looks. As if- as if you’re already a widower and I- I-” He takes a shuddering breath, forcing away the new onslaught of tears. “I just wanted to have one place where people didn’t. Where this couldn’t happen.”

Buck loses the fight to the tears and he gasps: “God, how am I going to tell Chris that his daddy got hurt? What am I going to do if Eddie doesn’t wake up?”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Buck, it’s okay,” Bobby starts comforting him immediately. “You have us, just tell us what you need and we’re here.”

Again Buck works to calm himself down, getting out of his anxiety spiral slowly. None of the others have ever seen him like this and they wonder just how much of outlet this job has been for him.

“I- I need to call Abuela and tía Pepa and Carla,” Buck lists. “Fuck, should I- should I call his parents?”

The fact that he asks that gives them a little insight into how they might feel about their son’s marriage to Buck. He answers his own question, before any of them can figure out how to, “No, no, I shouldn’t. They’ll- they’ll try to take him. I need to get to Chris. I need to get to my boy.”

“Okay, you’re off shift for today and however long you need,” Bobby says immediately. “Go get your son.”

“You’re in no state to drive, I can take you,” Chimney offers. “If that’s okay, Cap?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Come on, man,” Chim says, clapping Buck on the back before pulling him to his feet.

Chimney drives as fast as is allowed, in the seat next to him Buck is having a tearful conversation with Abuela, explaining what has happened to her grandson. Chim mentally files away that the family they’ve met so far is the husband’s not Buck’s, vaguely wondering why he has never mentioned anyone from his own side of the family.

They first stop by a modest house where he follows Buck inside as he watches the kid efficiently pack a suitcase. It’s strange to see him like this, not just down instead of his usually happy self, but grown up. They all gathered that he acted a little child-like on the job, because off the clock he had to be responsible, but it’s still strange to see that code-switch.

With the suit case ready, they drive to Chris’s school as Buck books plane tickets in the car. Chim is pretty sure Cap gave him the rest of the day off too, because all this driving around is longer than a quick drive. However, none of the 118 could care less, one of their own needed them, of course they were going to be there.

Chim watches Buck when they roll up to the school. He’s been a proper mess since the call came in, however, now he takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders and wiping the last traces of tears away as he gets himself under control. He has to be strong for Christopher now.

He gets out of the car and goes into the school, coming out a little later with Chris walking beside him.

The two get in the back of the car and Chim drives off again. Chris asks: “Why are we suddenly leaving, papa?”

“We’re going to meet daddy, Chris,” Buck tells him, trying to inject some cheer into his voice.

“We are?” Chris asks excitedly.

“Yeah, little man, we are,” Buck smiles, before he turns a serious again. “But daddy got hurt while he was saving people, so he needs to rest. He is going to a hospital near Washington and we are going to stay with him for a bit, until he can come home with us.”

“He got hurt?” Chris frowns. “But he is the one fixing people when they get hurt.”

“Well, right now he’s with other people who also fix people when they get hurt,” Buck explains gently, trying to keep it together.

“The same people who fixed you, before daddy did?” Chris asks.

“Yeah, Chris, the same people who fixed me when I got hurt,” Buck says.

Chimney is dying to ask what they mean by that, but he doesn’t want to interrupt, especially when Buck looks like he’s going to start crying again with the slightest push. That is not helped by Chris optimistically saying: “Then he’s going to be just fine.”

Bucks lets out a shuddering breath that is closer to a sob and hugs Chris into his side, hiding his face into Chris’s hair, so he doesn’t see the few tears that leak out. With a strained voice he replies: “Yeah, buddy, he’s gonna be just fine.”

At the airport, Buck and Chris get out of the car and Chim follows to give Buck a tight hug. Buck hugs him back just as tightly and Chim says: “You’re gonna be okay, kid. We’re here for you. Don’t be afraid to call.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Buck tells him.

Attempting to lighten the mood, Chim smiles: “Hey, I’m just glad I could do something other than be a bad influence,” calling back to their conversation after Chris spend some time with them that first time.

Buck smiles back, still a little watery, but it’s there. He puts a hand on Chim’s shoulder and looks him in the eyes, heartfelt he says: “You are so much more than that.” Then he turns to Chris and says: “Let’s go, Superman. We have a fight to catch.”

He stops to wave at Chimney, then he disappears through the glass doors, picking up Chris to hurry through the airport. Chim hopes that Eddie truly will be okay, that Buck will come back happier, maybe even happier than before he got that call. That they’re not going to lose this happy kid that brightened the A shift of the 118 more than any of them would ever admit.

It’s a shock to their system when they don’t hear a thing from Buck for three days straight. They know he must be holed up in a hospital room somewhere, in a different city with no support system trying to be there for his son and his husband. But they had hoped he would reach out.

After those three days, it’s Hen, who he calls first. They’re all duty when her phone rings and she nearly fumbles it as she exclaims: “It’s Buck.”

The others gather around her as she picks up, a little out of breath due to the excitement and haste as she greets: “Buck? Are you okay?”

They can hear the relief and giddiness in his voice as he replies: “He woke up today.”

“Oh my god, Buck, I’m so happy for you,” Hen tells him genuinely. She might not know Eddie, but she has a wife and a child, she can imagine how Buck might feel right now, knowing that both are okay, that their family is still in tact.

“Me too,” he laughs, stress melting off of him. “I hope I’m not calling at a bad time.”

“No, no, of course not. I’m glad to hear from you. We’re on shift,” Hen says. “I have two very curious men looking at me.”

Buck chuckles at that: “Glad to know I haven’t been forgotten. It’s chaos out here. Abuela called Eddie’s parents, nearly became a full blown custody battle in the hospital hallways. They’re taking Chris for ice cream now. I’m watching them out the hospital window while Eddie rests to make sure I see it if they try to make a run for it.”

It’s obviously meant to be a joke, but Hen can hear that there is a truth in there as well. She confided in the team about her issues with Denny’s custody, another reason Buck might have called her above the others.

She puts as much affection into her voice as she can as she says: “Well, they won’t take him that easily. We have a great police Sargent who’s sleeping with our Captain and a whole slew of people who’ll vouch for your parenting.”

“Thanks, Hen.

“Of course. How’s Eddie?”

Buck lets out a long breath and she can imagine him rubbing his forehead as he answers: “Hurt, but healing, I suppose. Idiot caught three bullets, two in his arm, one in his shoulder, practically his chest if you ask me, though. Nearly bled out. They’ll discharge him in two days, then we have a flight the day after, after that it’s bed rest, then PT, before he is cleared to go look for a job. The military is paying these bills luckily. I- uhm, I’ll need to get some extra shifts when I get back, can you tell Cap?”

“You can tell him yourself if you want,” Hen offers, suddenly suspicious. Buck calling her instead of Bobby to tell them about his schedule and Eddie’s state was already a little weird, but as the fellow queer with a family, she could brush it off. Now she was scared something was up, a reason why Buck might not want to talk to Bobby.

“Uhm, I’d rather not,” Buck says hesitantly.

She sends the Captain a look, a little relieved when Bobby looks confused and a little hurt that their youngest member doesn’t seem to want to talk to him. If something happened, Bobby didn’t do it purposefully. There is no guilt, as if he knows the reason, just confusion.

“Why not? Did something happen between you two?” she asks anyway, prepared to fight Bobby should that be necessary.

“Is he- Is he mad?” Buck asks hesitantly.

Now Hen is growing more worried, she sends Bobby a look and he frowns at that, then covers the mic and walks off for some privacy as she asks: “No, he doesn’t seem mad. Why would he be mad, Buck?”

“Just tell her, cariño,” a muffled voice can be heard in the background. The first sign of the mysterious husband, Eddie, that any of them have gotten and she can’t even enjoy it, too worried about Buck.

Startled, Buck exclaims: “Eddie, what are you doing awake? You should be resting.”

Eddie’s voice sounds unbearably fond as he replies: “I can always sense when you’re worrying, amor. Just tell her, get your closure. He’s not mad.”

“And how would you know that,” Buck counters and Hen would be more offended about getting ignored if Buck’s tone isn’t a little lighter after Eddie’s words.

“Cause you couldn’t shut up about the man on our phone calls,” Eddie snorts softly.

“Oh shut up,” Buck says, before returning his attention to Hen as he says: “It’s just- I, uhm- I didn’t tell my dad about Eddie and he got real mad when he found out. Now, I know Bobby isn’t, like, my dad or anything, but he’s, you know, my boss, an authority figure and I- I’m just worried he’s mad at me. For not saying.”

Hen’s heart clenches. She knows Bobby is a father figure to Buck, but the fact that Buck conflates an authority figure with a father figure, not to mention the ‘real mad’ in combination with the lack of mention of Buck’s family (she’s not stupid, she can put one and two together), break her heart a little more.

As gently as she can, she says: “Cap would never be mad at your for that, Buck. I swear. He’s worried about you and wants your family to be okay. For a moment it seemed like he was going to rip the phone out of my hands so he could ask if you’re okay himself. You can talk to him.”

“Thank you,” Buck says in a small, vulnerable voice that doesn’t fit the confident young man she’d known. Then he adds: “But, uhm can you tell him? For now. I’ll call him later.”

“Okay, I’ll tell him, but know that he’d happy to hear from you,” Hen promises, knowing she’s not going to undo whatever happened between Buck and his parents in a singular phone call.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Buck says in a tone that tells her the extra assurance was necessary. “I just have to go, Chris is coming back up and I want to check in with Eddie’s doctor.”

“Alright, I’ll let you go,” Hen says. “Good luck out there, reach out if you need us or just want someone to talk with, okay. Best to you and Eddie. I hope his recovery goes well. We all do.”

“Thanks, Hen. I’ll pass it along. Say hi to Cap and Chim for me,” Buck replies, before he hangs up, leaving her there with her phone in her hand, staring at her home screen.

She returns to Chim and Bobby, telling them about the call and her own theories as to why Buck might be acting the way he is. There’s a deep sympathy in both their eyes when she does, Chim has that extra bit of understanding in it that comes with being her friend and having served under Gerrard.

Buck does call Bobby at some point the next day. Something they know because Bobby stops moping when he finally does (though he denies ever moping in the first place).

It’s tía Pepa who picks them up from the airport when they do return, so they don’t see Buck until the day after he flies back, since that is when he has his first shift. It’s 48 hour one right off the bat, seems like he wasn’t joking about needing those shifts.

When he arrives to the firehouse, he moves cautiously as if he isn’t sure what to expect from his return just yet. That cautiousness melts into a grin when the 118 greets him with cheers and a cake that reads: Congrats on getting your family back together

He looks like he’ll cry as he says: “Thank you so much,” through a choked up voice, as he gets hugged by everyone.

They eat their cake, catch Buck up on the strange calls he missed and the shenanigans at the firehouse, while Buck fills them in on his own time away. It’s clearly an abridged and slightly edited version, one that is more lighthearted than going to visit your comatose husband probably is like, but they don’t call him out on it.

At some point Chimney asks: “So, how did you two meet anyway?”

Buck’s face turns into something fond, something they’ve only seen pieces off when he talks about Chris, though slightly different. “He was pulling a bullet out of my leg, telling me I was an idiot for trying to save him.”

“What?” the others choke out.

Buck gives them a surprised look, which clears up as he explains: “Oh yeah, I was a soldier for a bit, it’s how I met Eddie. Definitely not for me, but I’m glad I did it, because I wouldn’t have met the love of my life without it. He was a medic from a unit on the base I was also stationed at. I was already a little reckless back then.”

The 118 snorts at that, because yeah, they’ve noticed he still is. Though their hearts also constrict slightly retroactively at the danger their family member put himself in before they even met, protective instincts kicking in.

“Anyway,” Buck continues. “After I saved his ass and he stitched me up, we became friends. Nothing bonds like your medic telling you all about his divorce in an attempt to distract you and keep you conscious. We became friends real quick and by that I mean I bugged him every day, because Mr. Surly had no friends and I think he looks cute when he’s annoyed. We kinda had a flirty thing going on all throughout our tour and when it was done I had nowhere to go really, so Eddie invited me to his home. His ex-wife fully left, so suddenly it was us two with a toddler and we became more serious.”

He looks so very fond when he tells the story, so besotted. It’s almost crazy now to think he managed to hide that love for months.

“I worked as a farm hand and Eddie did odd jobs around town, but Chris’s medical bills started piling up and the only way for us to pay them was to do another tour,” Buck explains, very open about everything now that it’s all out there anyway. “I wanted to do it so Eddie wouldn’t be separated from Chris again, but I got injured. Firefighters got me out, actually, it’s why I decided to go to the academy when I was healed.”

They all grimace and nod, they’ve seen some nasty ranch incidents and can imagine how that might’ve seriously injured someone. They can also understand wanting to become a firefighter after seeing one in action.

“We wanted Chris to have some continuity and Eddie’s parents were talking about taking him, so we decided to get married. It was a shotgun wedding, just us and Chris at the courthouse to avoid anyone from stopping us or throwing a fit about it,” Buck shrugs, as if that isn’t kind of sad.

However, before anyone can say something, he lights up: “We’ve been talking about doing a vow renewal, which will be great. Maybe you guys can come? It’ll be nice to have family on my side of the aisle.”

“Of course we’ll come,” Hen says immediately, knowing the feeling of not having anyone there intimately from her own wedding.

Bobby and Chimney also fall over themselves to assure him they’ll be there and they can see that a little bit of insecurity disappears from Buck’s frame. They wouldn’t have noticed it without it disappearing and it’s a little worrying how okay Buck can seem, but they can’t really get into it, because Buck is thanking them with a big grin and then the alarm is going, forcing them to drop the topic.

After that they don’t really get to bring it up again, just observing this new Buck – because he is a new man, almost reborn with more happiness and less stress clinging to him – who is also less reckless and seemingly more okay.

He also doesn’t shut the fuck up about Eddie (said in the most affectionate way). Now that Eddie is home safe and he doesn’t have to worry about Eddie or the pitying looks, the dam has opened and there is a flood of affection for Eddie.

Everyone is all very curious and eager to meet the man that has stolen Buck’s heart so clearly, but since he is recovering Buck isn’t letting them. They are just starting to worry that something might be wrong, when they finally do meet him.

They’re just coming back from a call, getting out of the engine as Chimney says: “Is it just me, or is our probie getting more mature?”

“Mature, I don’t know, but definitely less reckless,” Hen counters, teasing Buck.

Buck is about to respond, already rolling his eyes, when a new voice speaks up, saying: “That’s probably because he has to justify what he did to someone other than an excitable seven year old when he comes home.”

The 118 turns in surprise, finding the voice to be attached to an attractive young man with dark brown hair and his arm in a sling. Before anyone can ask who he is, Buck answers the question for them his face lighting up as he exclaims: “Eddie!”

“Hello, cariño,” Eddie – because holy shit that’s Eddie – greets in return with a fond smile.

Buck rushes over to him, but slows before impact, gently and carefully hugging him as he breathes: “What are you doing here? Is everything okay? Is Christopher okay? How did you get here? You really shouldn’t be driving with that arm.”

Eddie lets Buck’s worries wash over him, the fond smile never leaving. “Everything is alright, cariño. Tía Pepa got sick of my restlessness, dropped me off here so she could clean the house in peace.”

“I told her I was cleaning the house,” Buck frowns. “She doesn’t have to do that.”

“Mi amor, you’ve been caring for all of us and juggling the chores. You deserve the rest, tía Pepa wanted to help,” Eddie tells him gently, sounding as if he’s repeating a conversation they’ve had multiple times before.

“That’s not true. Carla helps a lot with everything and you watch Chris so I can turn in early and you’ve been loading the dishwasher and collecting laundry – even though you really should be resting,” Buck replies.

“Tía Pepa is cleaning the house,” Eddie says definitively, not allowing Buck to argue. “You’re too late and we both know you’re not winning an argument with her. Now, please, introduce me to your coworkers, I’ve been dying to put faces to the names.”

“You really shouldn’t treat my work as your own personal telenovella,” Buck scolds, though it’s obvious he doesn’t mean it.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie waves it away with a big grin, making him look younger.

Chimney doesn’t hesitate in skipping forwards, eager for anyone who can give him gossip or an interesting story. “Hi, I’m Chimney. Buck didn’t tell us he was married to such a hunk of a man, what is your routine?”

“Yes, he did,” Hen says, practically pushing Chimney out of the way. “Many times and with great detail. I’m Hen.”

“Let’s not overwhelm him,” Bobby says, pulling both of his subordinates away. Then he holds out his hand to Eddie, making sure that Eddie can return the shake with the hand not in the sling as he greets: “Hello, I’m Bobby, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Eddie straightens up, obviously military, and shakes the hand firmly. “The pleasure is all mine, Captain. Thank you so much for what you did for Buck and Chris while I was gone.”

“You’re welcome, it was never an issue to do so. We’re family here, we watch out for each other,” Bobby says.

“Still, I’m grateful for what you’ve done for my family,” Eddie tells him genuinely.

Within a minute of meeting them, he has won them all over, leaving them to wonder why they were ever worried to start with.

Hen asks: “So, what are your plans now that you are stateside?”

“Healing,” Buck says pointedly, before Eddie can open his mouth to answer.

Eddie sends him a fond exasperated look and they can all perfectly picture the two of them in a desert somewhere, Buck ribbing an annoyed Eddie, who isn’t actually annoyed, but playing the part in their fond routine.

“First healing,” Eddie agrees with Buck. “Then I’m thinking of joining the academy. I’m not really made for a nine to five and Buck has won me over with all his work stories.”

“Well, I’ll fight to get you in my house,” Bobby promises. “Now, what do you think about some lunch, I was just about to get started on some lasagna.”

“Definitely not saying no to some famed Bobby Nash cooking,” Eddie grins, following the others up to the loft and seamlessly fitting in with them.

Being a single parent isn’t the easiest, but now Buck doesn’t have to do it alone anymore. His partner is back and with that the fear of loosing him is gone. Their jobs will still be dangerous, but he can have his back and prevent the alone from becoming permanent.

Today, Buck is high on life, knowing Chris is safely at school and Eddie is here right besides him, the two surrounded by family. There are only more memories to be made in the future.

[d0llyxtears]

My parents are so dismissive and invalidating…. Especially about my trauma

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“ if you constantly dwell on it you’ll never get better “

“ I’ve had a bad life to but I don’t go moping about it all the time “

“ you actually need to try to get better “

“ I feel like a bad mom /I’ve feel like I’ve failed because you’re so sad “

“ you need to let it go/let go of your anger “

“ you need to forgive him “

“ let’s talk about it later/we’ll talk about it tomorrow “

“ stop being a victim “

“ you need to forget about that “

“ stop thinking about it all the time “

“ was it really that bad “

“ I don’t think adhd is a disability “

“ you need to start helping yourself “

“ school sucked for me too you know “

“ school is hard for everyone/ everyone goes through hardships “

“ think of the positives “

I starting to really hate my parents… all the dismissive comments, all the invalidation… all the not acknowledging my pain and just wanting me to “ get over it “ “ get better “ already

I’m so fucking tried of it all …. They rushing me through my healing process, telling me to get over my trauma from my brother ( and also including my trauma from being emotionally abused in a psychiatric hospital.. multiple times and my trauma from bullying/public humiliation in school) , think adhd isnt a disability that causes significant distress in people if untreated/under treated … aka ME …..

They don’t understand that Im mentally stuck In my trauma… those memories haunt me everyday .. I haven’t left those moments…. Im still there!!!

I just wish they’d understand!!! Im trying to get through it but its hard because I have so much repressed trauma that has gone unprocessed/untreated for YEARS …… so sorry that Im even more difficult to deal with now …. Sorry that my pain and hurt is such an inconvenience to you !!

I hate them … they’re so cruel!!! You think YOU don’t want to deal with my emotions and problems IMAGINE ME , IMAGINE HOW TIRED I AM BEING THE PERSON FEELING AND EXPERIENCING THEM ALL

GOD I HATE THEM !!!!!

It’s so awful….. why can’t I just feel validated and safe and … why can’t someone just see my pain , acknowledge it !!