#toxic double standard

[tangledmovielove]

One thing I realized over the holidays is that Rapunzel is called feminist and progressive in that stupid Tangled series for doing something that Ebenezer Scrooge was criticized for in A Christmas carol. Like Scrooge, she constantly postpones marrying her partner because something else was always more important to her. Only that instead of money, it's her absurd concept of freedom.

And just like Scrooge, Rapunzel chooses something abstract and distant (her strange concept of freedom) over something real and tangible (Flynn’s love). In A Christmas Carol, Belle leaves Scrooge because she realizes she deserves more than being neglected for his obsession with wealth, and similarly, Flynn deserves someone who values him for who he is, not someone who dismisses his love or sacrifices for her own self-centered ideals. Flynn is portrayed as being selfless and caring, and for him to stay in a relationship where he is consistently belittled, rejected, and taken for granted is emotionally damaging.

And I think it once again proves a toxic double standard in our society: Scrooge is of course criticized for this behavior and looses Belle forever and there is no redemption of their love because what he did for years is of course unforgivable. But when Rapunzel does the exact same thing, she is celebrated by feminists for being progressive.

The idea that marrying someone you love after months or even a year of being together is somehow stifling is completely nonsensical. If someone genuinely views marriage as a prison, they’re either with the wrong person or not ready for a relationship at all—because deep down, they’re likely considering breaking up or even cheating. True love means wanting to marry your partner, not rejecting them out of fear that marriage will strip you of freedom.

This attitude is a massive red flag and suggests Flynn isn’t the right person for Rapunzel, or worse, that she doesn’t fully love him. How could someone be truly happy with their partner if the very idea of marriage continues to scare them, even after more than a year? Portraying this dynamic as love is deeply misleading—it’s not love at all, and Flynn deserves so much better.

Instead of celebrating the idea of freedom within a loving partnership—where both individuals grow and support each other—the series frames Rapunzel’s independence as something inherently incompatible with marriage. This not only misrepresents the dynamics of a healthy relationship but also sends a discouraging message about what true commitment entails. Flynn’s unwavering devotion is brushed aside, and his willingness to support her dreams is ignored, reducing him to a passive figure in their story.

By focusing on Rapunzel’s internal conflict while sidelining Flynn’s perspective, the series fails to honor the balance and reciprocity that defined their relationship in the movie. Marriage should not be portrayed as a threat to freedom, but rather as a union where both individuals flourish together. In neglecting this, the series turns what could have been a beautiful conclusion into a disappointing misrepresentation of love and partnership.

Marriage isn’t supposed to be a threat to freedom. It’s meant to be a partnership where both people thrive together. By failing to show this, the series misses the chance to give their story the meaningful ending it deserved.

[lilislegacy]

i’m just gonna come out and say it

if luke comes back in a future book, i hope percy is taller than him now.

[sidsinning]

When men like problematic violent video games and media it's easily "life doesn't equal fiction", but when women like toxic romance it's "poor women are being brainwashed into liking abusive relationships we shouldn't glorify", but society don't wanna acknowledge their infantilization of women when it comes to guilty pleasure hobbies geared towards a female demographic, like they don't have common sense and a brain when consuming fiction

[furiousgoldfish]

Rules of abusive households:

We don't talk about things in this house

We don't clear anything out and instead everyone walks away with their own assumptions

We don't tolerate children having any emotions unless it makes us look good in front of someone

Adults are always right and can make children do anything, with no regards to human rights

If children do not go along with this thats disrespect and the children are pronounced evil and threatened to be kicked out of the family

 Anything a child does can be interpreted as disrespectful and punished

Adults can disrespect children all they want; they earned this right by being older

If adults are struggling with anything it's on children to understand and offer care

Children are not to be allowed to need anything; if someone took care of their needs then they would become entitled, spoiled, selfish, arrogant, disgusting brats

Children should not be seen or heard if an adult is in a bad mood

Children should not be difficult to find when an adult wants something from them

If a child is thinking something that potentially makes an adult look bad, they need to be shamed and prevented in ever engaging with such thoughts

Children need to feel bad for parents no matter what, even if the parents are doing active harm to the children's well being

No matter what, parents must not be made to feel like bad parents. Parents feeling good about themselves is the main point of having children and it's the children's job to make them feel as good as possible

Any harm done to children is to be assumed to be 'non intentional' and any consequences, suffering, pain, mental illness, anger, resentment, bitterness, trauma or illness, is to be hidden and never shown to the adults

Even if the child is showing clear signs of struggle, acting out and making clear calls for help, the adults must be presumed to have never noticed, and to be completely oblivious to the child's suffering

This is also the child's fault and will always remain the child's fault; for not notifying the adults clearly enough

If a child attempts to notify they will be, in no specific order: disregarded, ridiculed, not taken seriously, berated for dramatizing, berated for thinking anyone cares, dismissed, be shamed, be trauma dumped on, be forced to feel bad for the parent, called out for being 'not understanding enough', asked 'how do you think I feel', be told they're weak, be told off for being 'too sensitive', be considered annoying, be blamed themselves for how they feel, be told that the reason for the issue is something a child has done, be told do feel differently, be yelled at, punished, threatened or told they should be lucky it's not worse

Children are to presume that the adults are perfect but must never repeat any of their behaviour

Children are to presume lesser value, priority, importance, entitlement, but then also bigger maturity, self control, self-consciousness, and emotional regulation

Children will be ridiculed for not knowing any piece of information, but adults should never teach them anything; in fact the adults will give them misinformation and double down on it with every opportunity

Children are to be told they're incapable, undesirable in the world, too unskilled, untalented, irresponsible to achieve anything. For adults none of these things should ever be implied even if the evidence is present

Children can be told at the same time that they're 'too young to understand' and 'too inexperienced to know anything', and that they're 'too old to be acting like this' when they protest or express an emotion inconvenient to adults

Any act of resistance, protest, boundary, aggression or violence coming from the child renders the child evil and dangerous. Same from any adult is considered justified and necessary.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

catra: constantly abuses adora physically and emotionally, gaslights and manipulates adora, doesn't try to better herself even though she is offered several second chances, continues repeating her toxic behavior even after her "redemption arc"

fans: omg relationship goals! we love toxic yuri 🎀

caitlyn: hits vi once because she is overwhelmed by the grief of losing her mother, corrects her actions after meeting up with vi again, tries to help vi rescue vander, never repeats her toxic behavior and supports vi unconditionally afterwards

fans: what an abusive bitch! vi deserves so much better!

[aemonds-sapphireeye]

I saw someone complaining that people shouldn't be so okay with Rhaenyra cheating on Daemon, like bro did you forget he's literally her uncle who groomed her as a child? That it is and always has been an unhealthy, incestuous relationship that started from Daemon abusing a power imbalance? But cheating is where you draw the line?

Like you can ship it sure, everything's a little fucked up in this show, but don't pretend normal relationship standards apply here.

[aitsuheart]

My favorite dynamic are probably friends who are dating because they get to be both

The best of both worlds, a cute friendship dynamic and a cute romantic relationship

And soriku

Yeah they're that.

They are best friends, gonna say it louder for the people in the back who say "oh no a gay pairing why can't they be friends"

But they're also dating

[niightniines]

isn't it so weird that Misa Amane was kidnapped by L against her will, tortured and confined for seven weeks, and almost killed herself because of it, but nobody who ships Lawmane talks about it because I guess they don't want to recognize the parts of their ship that are a little fucked up? like ok what happened to "I'll never ship yagamane even in au context because it's just too toxic!" alright then do that for other ships too.

[kouhaiofcolor]

The whole world be watching white women absolutely disrespect the integrity & purpose of food making the most nauseatingly inedible shit on TikTok — & antiblack black men who feel empowered by misogynoir still demand attention to vouch for them being their preferences & more desirable for their willingness to “cook” for them. 🫤 I do not understand.

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

I am a pile of everyone else's expectations. I am a projection of their moods. I am expected to be perfect; a double standard between me and the rest of the world. Is it possible for anyone to see me as a person? Can I be loved a human being?

[animentality]

[furiousgoldfish]

How many of these 'rules for thee but not for me' have your abusive parents enforced on you?

I am allowed to criticize you, insult you, humiliate you and put you down in front of others. If you ever as much as imply I do anything wrong, or make me look bad in front of anyone, I will end you.

I am allowed to be aggressive, loud, intimidating, forceful and violent. You're not allowed to use force even in self defense, otherwise you are the abusive one, and how dare you.

I am allowed to need attention, comfort, appreciation, admiration, praise, reassurance, resources, time, energy, and everyone's support, at all times. If you ever need any of this, not only you are a burden but you're taking away attention that could have been mine and I need it more than you do. You do not deserve any of it.

I am allowed to make mistakes, to do harm with 'good intentions', to make human error and do things completely wrong. Everyone needs to give me a benefit of the doubt and forgive me immediately. If you ever make something I decide is a mistake, not only I will assume you had the worst intentions, but I will punish you severely for it and make you feel like you're the worst failure ever born.

I am allowed to control you completely. I can forbid and deny you anything, even food. I say what you do and when you do it, and you have to do it regardless of how rude I am asking it. If you ever even ask me to do something you need me to do, I will act like you are unreasonable, selfish and trying to take something away from me.

I am allowed to be emotional, whiny, complain, rant, threaten, wallow and cry. You are not allowed to show any emotions or you're spoiled, whiny, insufferable and unworthy of human society.

I am allowed to be seen as human and reasonable, all my actions excusable, and nobody is ever allowed to forget that I have emotions and that it's wrong to blame me for anything. You are not allowed any of this, you don't get to be taken seriously, and all of your actions are inexcusable. I can forget you're human and that you have emotions and it still makes me better than you.

I am allowed to hurt you if you do anything that irritates or annoys me even a little, even if you did it unknowingly and were just being a human. If you ever hurt me, even accidentally, you are a demon, worst child alive, and deserve to burn in hell forever.

I can take any revenge against you and it's justified. If you even consider any kind of revenge, you're evil.

I can forget that you exist and not care at all how my decisions affect you and your life. If you ever make a decision without considering my feelings first, you are the most selfish, disgusting, deprived and evil person who lives only to cause me harm.

My anger directed at you is righteous. Your anger directed at me is selfish, ungrateful, spoiled, deranged, out of control, disgusting, dangerous, makes you evil.

If I ever show contempt at you, you are supposed to still rationalize it as 'love'. If you ever as much as look at me wrong, I will take it as an expression of utter unreasonable hatred and disrespect.

I deserve respect, regardless of what I do to you. You don't deserve respect, and you never will, regardless of what you do for the rest of your life.

I am intelligent, and my every decision is superior to any of yours. You will never be intelligent, your every decision will be considered stupid until you do exactly as I tell you to.

I decide who you are and how are you to be treated. You don't get to decide, not for yourself, not for me. You will perceive me how I tell you to perceive me. I will perceive you as unlovable and awful no matter what you do, and you must perceive yourself this way too.

You must center me in your life. You are completely irrelevant to me and exist solely to make me look good, give me benefits of labour and love and to avoid making any trouble for me. If you try to do otherwise I will attack you as if you are the worst creature existing who is a burden to everyone alive.

Guests and relatives are here to give attention to me. You are not allowed attention and should instead be there as a servant/make me look good.

It is never my fault how I react to you, or even for what I do to you unprovoked. It is always your fault how you react to me, and you are further responsible for all of my actions and emotions as well. Nobody is responsible for your emotions, you might as well not have any.

I am not responsible for my own violence. You are responsible for my violence, and for violence of other people towards you.

I deserve everything I ever wanted from parenthood and raising a child, and only good parts too. If anyone tries to make me go through any unpleasant part, they're stupid or evil. You do not deserve even the basics of a normal childhood, instead you need to be the toughest kid alive if you want to survive.

I can be sensitive to every little hint, implication or face expression. You are not allowed to be sensitive even to the most crude and humiliating remarks or insults. You are not allowed to even have a problem with threats, blackmail or violence.

Whatever bothers me is a real and serious issue. Whatever bothers you is superficial, unimportant, made-up, you dramatizing and you seeking attention. Your problems are not real.

I cannot be compared to anyone for I am unique and special. You can be compared to the most despicable monsters, criminals, predators, and other groups of people that I consider disgusting.

If I am sick, it's a tragedy. If you are sick, stop pretending and get to work. And it's also your own fault and how dare you be sick only to force me to tolerate you being in bed and otherwise ignore you. You've done this on purpose to make me worry.

If I'm hurt, no measure is big enough to comfort me, bring justice back into the world, ensure revenge and correct whatever evil hurt me. If you're hurt, you deserved it, and you're probably just making it up anyway.

Taking care of me is your responsibility. Taking care of you is nobody's chore and you're selfish for wanting it.

My problem are your problems, and you are responsible for fixing them, even when you can't possibly do anything about them. Your problems are irrelevant and nobody cares.

You have to make me look good even at the price of truth, free will, and your own sanity. I can make you look bad in front of others for fun and amusement.

If you're inconvenient to me, I have every right to hate you, hurt you and do anything in the world to force you to change whatever is bothering me. If I'm inconvenient to you, adjust, and keep silent.

[lesbianodysseus]

Posted about it earlier but the fact that I have to write an essay in the descriptions that informs that I, in fact, don’t think rape is cool every single fucking time I post my art of Calypso because these stupid fucks keep accusing me of “cutesifying a rapist” is actually fucking insane.

Never have I seen an artist that draws Zeus, Poseidon, Apollo, or Hermes get as much harassment as I see myself and fellow Calypso fans get. It’s hypocritical, promotes a double standard, and makes me angry.

I don’t think anyone should get harassed for drawing something, but the fact that it mostly happens to fans of this specific character that shares problematic actions with other characters makes me mad.

[matt0044]

It matters who started it.

There's a problem with how many who express frustration with the RWDE or overblown RWBY hate in general are countered with "it's just their opinion, bro" from a textbook centrist.

Yeah, from the outside looking in, it does seem like we can't look the other way when some people just aren't jiving with our thing. Thing is that when we do look the other way, there's more just making RWBY their own personal punching bag.

Furthermore, just as anyone has the right to make their dislike for RWBY everyone else's problem, others have the right to say, "Hey, this feels really fucked up and here's why."

Yet we're the ones who gotta suck it up like a sponge whether we back up our arguments or not. Because apparently when we don't, we're fanatics who can't take criticism of our favorite show.

Like... sure. Way back when the RWDE was created because there were fans who liked RWBY but would overreact to negativity towards their faves. The tag naturally sprouted from there.

Except that things aren't like that now. Rarely anybody in the FNDM stirs crap up that hasn't been started by the RWDE or somebody overreacting to RWBY. And even when the FNDM does get out of line, the RWDE seems to overlook their own transgressions and hypocrisies.

[phatcatphergus]

Why are you so up in arms about some people not being comfortable with a (rather edgy and potentially offensive) joke? The posts I've seen are just talking about how the casual homophobia whenever Tubbo is around makes them not want to watch any streams that Tubbo is showing up on.

I understand that you don't find these jokes offensive or harmful, at least in comparison to some of the other rp that has been done on the server (and I am genuinely very glad for it!! I hope they never become so), but different people have had different experiences, and to some people homophobia will be genuinely more upsetting than themes of self harm, to name an example you used.

It feels very shitty to see you and some other tubblings vehemently defend these jokes, as it can be extremely jarring to go from enjoying happy gay roleplay to homophobic jokes (yes, even from an openly gay man, the mouthpiece doesn't make the content less jarring).

So I guess I'm still wondering, why? I get being defensive of your streamer, but I guess I'm struggling to reconcile the "queer-smp" with people invalidating others' experiences with, and reactions to, homophobia

Okay well the main thing is that it’s really not that deep. Don’t like the jokes don’t watch, log off, touch grass ect.

People can be upset about whatever they want, but to say that the admin team, his fellow streamers and his community need to “talk to him” about it is insanity. The jokes themselves aren’t even something that isn’t already said in queer spaces irl (again go outside) and the fact that people are so up in arms about their picture perfect straight men playing make believe they’re in a gay relationship and having one actually gay man say “I hate happy couples” is insane.

Really, it’s shows how little the space cares for real queer people and relationships that don’t adhere to their internet filled fantasies of gay people.

At the end of the day, it’s a gay man joking about his own experiences and to get upset about it is fine. But don’t write emails telling him he’s inciting hate crimes, don’t tell the admin team to “talk to him” (ableism and infantilism much), and don’t try to get him cancelled for making jokes that YOU yourself don’t like.

If you don’t like a gay man making mildly homophobic jokes (something he has experienced!!!) but are okay with two straight men playing a gay couple and getting paid for it only to log off and not deal with any irl consequences then you’ve lost the plot I’m sorry.