#this is such absolute crack

[fanaticalthings]

While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

---

Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

---

Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

---

And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

[bet-on-me-13]

The Summoner

So! Danny is not the Ghost King.

But he still has a good relationship with a LOT of Powerful and not-so-powerful Ghosts in the Zone. So much so that they have given him their Summoning Circle's with a blanket permission to Summon them any time. Not like they have much else going on...

This all leads to a hilarious situation where Danny can't use his Powers for whatever reason and is forced to Summon his friends for help. In front of a group of Heroes.

He has to explain everything to them, but accidentally convinces them that he has Summoning Magic and the Ghosts are all on his Contract. He also mentions Saving people from Ghosts and the JLA realize that he is a child Hero.

They ask him if he wants to join Young Justice, and Danny hesitantly agrees.

Now Danny is on Young Justice and the entire team thinks that he is a Hero with Ghost Summoning Magic.

And his name isn't Daniel "Commit to the Bit" Fenton for no reason.

[twistedappletree]

[amirmeavid]

One of the funniest things about merlin fanfic is when they write magical fight scenes and its so fucking difficult to do because merlin doesn't fight in a normal way.

Like with other fandoms there's like a technique. Like there are spells to cast, techniques to use, difficulties and simple approaches. But merlin doesn't subscribe to any of that.

Like this is basically a god with the skill of a toddler.

He just tanks shit.

He doesn't even know that many spells. Like his opponents are doing all this magical techniques and hand-wavey stuff and he just... stands there. Like maybe he stumbles back sometimes, but most of the time he just takes it.

Like his opponents will be doing the magical equivalent of tornado kicks, flips, and somersaults and then he gets like a papercut. Then he lopsidedly punches with the worst form ever seen and his opponent gets flung back 200m.

He's the singular most annoying person to ever have to fight, cause you're out here pulling out your best moves, then he flicks you on the forehead and you die.

EDIT: IF YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR YOU OWE ME A BOOP. BY LAW. I EARNED IT.

EDIT2: You may comment the word instead, however it is no longer legally required.

[seatoss]

Guess who just picked up Minish Cap? :)

I'm almost at the 3rd dungeon now but needed to momentarily pause my playthrough to get this out of my system. Everything about this game is so darn cute, omygod!! Been seriously sleeping on this little gem. I'd only read the manga before now and that was too long ago. I'd forgotten how funny this pair could be!

Since I adore Jojo's Link designs from her @linkeduniverse AU so much and could not for the life of me get these ideas out of my head, I thought I'd try imagining what her Minish/FSA Link and Ezlo might look like in this world and time-frame. I can't recall if she's doodled this Link's companion before, but hopefully I managed to capture a little bit of her flare here.

[gleafer]

I played with some Twitter friends! Enjoy!

I draw what you ask, but not what you’re expecting!

[blluespirit]

there are so many amazing and powerful benders in atla but what i love about zuko is that whether or not he can use his bending in that moment has zero (0) bearing on how much he’s going to absolutely kick your ass. no bending? that’s fine - he’s got swords. no swords or bending? that’s fine - he’s literally just going to beat you up. if you’re REALLY unlucky then you get all three. as a treat.

[dandelion-roots]

[ID: a digital comic in two panels featuring bungou stray dogs characters. the first shows atsushi banging open a door and shouting, dazai-san! are you oka- the second shows a shot from the anime where chuuya is holding dazai against a wall by his neck. the text reads, homoerotic atmosphere, and four squares with text point out whats happening. they read, casual hand in pocket, chokehold, knife, and lastly um... followed by two sweat drops pointing at chuuya's knee between dazai's legs. a tiny panel in the corner shows atsushi covering his eyes with his tiger paws and blushing as he says, i'm sorry... end ID]

come here. crack open the canon with me for a minute. consider. what if atsushi hadn't listened to everyone telling him dazai would be fine and left to save him only to witness whatever the fuck was going on in that cellar. consider the bit.

[olessan]

Nobody:

The Dark Lord Sauron:

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[muusudgoi]

Ganked this from Netheryam on TikTok had to share it

[arthdoesart]

Silly Billford stuff where Bill disguises as his necklace

[libraryofgage]

Steddie brainrot continues to worsen to a concerning degree but here's a crack idea that is absolutely sending me:

Famous Spicy Six in which Jonathon is a director who decides to work on a passion project: a Scooby-Doo movie. His ideal cast is as follows:

Nancy Wheeler (investigative journalist with a few special appearances on crime dramas) as Daphne Blake

Argyle (an actor with a habit of playing small parts; he acts only because he thinks it's fun, so he's not concerned with significant roles) as Shaggy Rogers

Robin Buckley (a well-known voice actor who is more well-known for her social media posts and clap-backs) as Velma Dinkley

Steve Harrington (basketball star who is also more well-known for his social media clap-backs and for being Corroded Coffin's number one fan) as Fred Jones

Eddie Munson (frontman for Corroded Coffin, an insanely popular metal/punk/rock band and "infamous" for unashamedly posting Steve Harrington thirst tweets) as the voice of Scooby-Doo

Corroded Coffin is also creating an entirely new, original soundtrack for the movie

And because I think it's funnier this way, this is also an AU where the Upside Down still happened, so Jonathon just calls his friends up and is like "Okay, so hear me out"

The absolute insanity that breaks out when both the movie and cast are announced because nobody can figure out how Jonathon managed to convince all these powerhouses to join his movie.

The further screaming online after one of the movie promo interviews where a reporter asks how they all agreed to the movie and Nancy hits them with, "Well, Jonathon asked, and he never asks for anything."

Which leads to the discovery that they all knew each other in high school, and the reporter jokingly asks if that means they've all dated each other, too, which leads to Eddie jumping in with absolute delight like, "Well, that's a funny story, there. See, Stevie here dated Nancy, who then dated Jonathon when they broke up, who then dated Argyle after they broke up. And I thought Stevie and Robin were dating, so I was very confused when I saw Robin and Nancy kissing. But then I found out that Robin was a true-blue lesbian, which meant Stevie here was open for the taking, and we've been banging ever since."

and Steve is just sitting there, head in his hands while Robin cackles and decides to tell the reporter all about Steve's "fuck I have a crush on Eddie" crisis

This interview, of course, leads to even more freaking out online and comments like "I know I asked for poly Scooby gang, but this is ridiculous," and "I can't believe that in this, the year of our lord 20xx, ScoobyXFreddy became a canon ship," and "if I had a nickel for every romantic relationship the Scooby gang actors have had with each other, I'd have five nickels, which is way more than any of us fucking expected to have," and "suddenly Eddie Munson's thirst tweets make a lot more sense, but can we talk about Steve Harrington's CC tweets now," and "everyone say thank you to Eddie Munson for revealing that mess of a relationship map," and "finally, the canon lesbian velma and daphne we deserve"

The movie is a box office hit, btw, and bloopers from filming roll with the credits, among which is Eddie Munson making Steve Harrington lose his shit laughing on set while dressed in a Scooby Doo onesie and singing Corroded Coffin songs with his Scooby Voice

[chiquilines]

Public garden study date!!

[tubbytarchia]

hi guys please vote GemPearl 🥺

Based on this edit

[lxvvie]

Price's beard has become so integral to his image that the boys treat his trimming it as a non-canon event, especially when he officially becomes Peepaw due to their growing families.

Hell, Kyle and Johnny even reach out to you to inquire about the Cap'n's well-being. Did something happen to him? Is he still grumpy as ever in the morning? Does he still take his ciggie and cuppa break at 1 p.m. sharp? Is he having a mid-life crisis?!

Ultimately, it leads to the boys—Ghost maintains that he was dragged into this shit—confronting Price and demanding an explanation.

And no matter what Price says or the confused irritation evident on his face, the boys refuse to believe that it was simply time for him to trim it.