#this hell I create is my own
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Please heal me
I can't sleep
Thought I was unbreakable but this is
but this is killing me
Call me
Everything
Make me feel unbreakable, lie and set me
FREE
#this hell I create is my own#delight and anger#we’re searching for shelter#trans#transgender#trans pride#transisbeautiful#mtf#transgirl#girlslikeus#mtf hrt#maletofemale#transformation#trans women#trans woman#trans women are beautiful#transexual#transsexual#this is what trans looks like#trans experience#trans fem#trans community#trans is so hot#trans is beautiful#trans is sexy#cute tgirl#tgirls are better#tgirlsdoitbetter🌈#trans queen#trans feminine
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Check out @ohposhers and I's magnum opus... You will catch me unironically listening to this while working way too often
And yes, before you ask, this is the John Dory playlist
#we're severely ill#i remember crying laughing for like 40 minutes when creating this#this is my hell but i make it all on my own#with assistance#i hate you guy#Spotify
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i could explain why anyone that says "flowey cant feel (positive emotions) because he doesnt have a soul" is wrong but i dont feel like it. all you need to know that as a fellow trauma survivor he is my puppet to project onto whether he likes it or not
read the tags for more i suppose
#flowey is a metaphor#my headcanon is valid and cool and you will like it and accept it#let me isolate both socially and physically for my own safety that wont make it worse haha#said the silly whimsical goat boy after being assaulted and killed by an entire village after agreeing to his sibling sacrifing themselves#and dying in his arms#ptsd/cptsd often comes with a hollow feeling and a fuckton of attachment issues#love alone cannot fix something like that#flowey had no way to cope with it and created a hell of his own making instead#i relate to the emptiness that you drown out with anything you can#the timeloop did not help#i often see the timeloop he trapped himself in as an unhealthy coping mechanism and/or drug almost#frisk is the one who saves him from himself#he can finally learn to move on and just... live#yeah im crazy#flowey#undertale#shitpost#headcanon
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WHB tumblr fandom please forgive me for I have sinned
I have created this abomination that I have named: Satoru Gojo's Origins
#what in hell is bad#whb ronove#whb barachiel#This has been the worst thing I have ever created with my own fingers#But oh well there's no turning back#Fuck I think I got Barachiel's hair wrong
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sskk as cats #1
#i think i might just make this a small warmup thing lol#sskk#bsd#bsd fanart#sskk fanart#atsushi nakajima#akutagawa ryunosuke#my sweet little sillies#imm slolwly crwaling out of my own created art block hell i pray i make a comeback#my art
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I’m happy for the little life I built for myself
#there’s a lot of ways to go#i am nowhere NEAR the dream life I really want to attain#or the dream person I want to be#but high school me#hell even freshman in college me#would GAWK at the life I have so deliberately made happen.#the solid network of friends I have#the confidence I’m slowly but surely growing into#the discipline I’m harvesting bit by bit. i do not claim perfection but I am 100% improving#I’m just happy idk! i don’t compare myself at all now bc I know I’m on the right track#especially compared to where I was like 5 years ago. such a different mind state from now#and no one can take that away from me#there’s a lot more to go. a lot more. but I thought I’d pause and be intentionally grateful for what has been accomplished#bc it actually puts things into perspective to look at the past rather than just look to the present. it creates contentment#i get so caught up being hard on myself for not accomplishing certain things yet#that I forget I pulled myself out of such a deep rut by the skin of my teeth#and that’s important to keep in mind even as you progress to your goals#anyway <333 happy content in my own lane etc etc#p
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this can be either hilarious or heartbreaking depending on how you take it. i'll admit i was giggling the whole time as i made it though, sorry baldie
#but thats bc baldie's hell of his own making amuses me#i love pep but like you could just call him. at this point.#but no. he'd rather longingly watch from far away and cry every time scaloni and leo hug.#like this isn't a figo situation where its genuinely tragic and not his fault at all. like this is a situation he#entirely created and now COULD fix but he won't. he just talks about leo every occasion he gets and Yearns#instead of picking up that damn phone#he mentions messi every single interview and says 'i need to congratulate him for his copa win!' and then when#people ask him 'so did you congratulate him then?' afterwards hes like '...no'#like ohhhh my godddddd#anyway#messi#pep guardiola#scaloni#futbol#video#hermy posts#olivia rodrigo
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the horrorz.
Live EM reaction
#shitpost#ms paint#ms paint art#animatic battle#itft#its time for the#animatic x clock#clock x animatic#animaticlock#clockmatic#framerate#timelapse#doodletime#exclamation mark#i'm terrified of my own creation.#there'z blood on my handz fur being responsible fur creating it.#i shall burn in hell one day.
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Me convincing myself that magluck has a chance to be canon
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#I know they say never say never#but it’s not happening#but I’ll still keep believing#because I’d rather create my own heaven than live in the reality of hell#black clover#black clover anime#magluck#lugna
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Given Tommy's comment about Gerrard and his relationship with him, I would absolutely not be surprised if that ended up causing conflict in their relationship given Gerrard being the 118 captain again.
We all know that Gerrard is gonna be on his bullshit and come after everyone and Buck, regardless if he's a target or not, is not gonna let that man talk reckless to him or his team. But I wouldn't put it past Tommy to tell him to just keep his head down, let Gerrard talk his nonsense, and not to say anything.
Even if that means letting Eddie and everyone else be punching bags and get insulted and ridiculed.
And Buck is just gonna be so confused and lowkey pissed off that he expects him to be quiet and let that dickwad bully his family. And he'll most definitely be giving Tommy a bombastic side eye about it.
#911#911 abc#911 on abc#911 speculation#911 spoilers#911 season 7#911 s7#911 season 8#911 s8#911 s8 speculation#evan buckley#tommy kinnard#911 buck#911 tommy#911 gerrard#BTs do not interact#think about it#Tommy probably wasn't able to come out due to the environment that Gerrard created#he kept his sexuality a secret so that he wouldn't be bullied or mocked by him#and I know he hated it#so I can see him telling buck to do the exact same thing#but this is buck he's talking about#there's no way in hell he's gonna sit back and let his family be bullied when he can shut it down#and that can definitely cause tension#I also have my own gripes with that philosophy but that's neither here or there
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sighhhhhh this beautiful sound
this shit's how we've been feeling. like the instruments, that floaty numb cold feeling but still PAINFULLY borderline aware but unable to like yknow ENJOY?
all we've got left is media. and even that's starting to stop doing anything.
but what the fuck can we do, yknow?
each time this happens it's just so god awful.
and it just keeps happening, over and over and over, with less and less breaks between.
what if one day I can't get out of it?
what if one day we're just stuck numb and cold forever?
what if one day all we'll feel is this numbness and the sadness and the rage?
what then? will anyone be there?
will anyone care?
will we just be alone?
why would we stick around then, huh?
we're already basically friendless.
who's gonna wanna be friends when we have no personality, hell, no existence or REALITY left?
who's gonna wanna be in our fucking vicinity when we're nothing anymore?
that feeling like drowning.
we're ALWAYS drowning.
just brought up for air to get plunged back into the ice cold water for another round.
how long until we don't get brought back up?
#welcome to the island of misfit toys#you say the whole world ended. honey it already did.#Patrick posting#the clowns are rambling instead of dancing#random posts#mental health vent#vent post#sorry for venting#it's just... happening again. yayyy..#and yknow all of you can say you care you can mean it. but I'll still fear for us the day we have nothing left to give#the day we can't be just... this anymore#i guess we'll just try to treasure whatever we have left while we still do. yknow. before the last bit of us dies#i hate my role here. sure i exist for a reason. wanna know what it fucking is?#I'm a sponge. I'm a fucking SPONGE. I'm only here to absorb all of that NEGATIVE SHIT that we can't handle.#it just FEEDS into my own mental health. and then I feel like the prick for what the fucking BRAIN created me to DO.#I'M IN HELL. and I'm there FOREVER because it's all I EXIST to do. I exist to SUFFER FOR EVERYONE ELSE.#and i dont blame the others. it isn't their fault.#but GOD am i tired of fucking venting. I'm tired of making these posts. I'm tired of these feelings.#I'm tired of being the sponge for this fucking mess. i just wanna be happier for like... yknow a week. nothing crazy.#just some time where we feel GOOD. really GENUINELY good. not fake good. not masking. REAL good. REAL joy.#mlandersen0 fictive#sorry for being depressing#sorry for the vent
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I have finally FINALLY got up to the dream scene at the start of the last mabelcorn in kmky and everything is flowing nicely finally, and the scenes and characterisation all are smooth and make sense and I am no longer going over the same establishing scenes like a pedant trying to make them perfect. SUCCESS!
Just have to knock out these next few bits then it's onto unicorn beatdowns, funny hats, pizza parties and loophole heists!
#i am so relieved#i feel a lot happier writing now that im happy with those establishing scenes#they didnt pan out how i originally planned but i think theyre better for it#i kept wanting to make bill and py fight but thats just not what they want to do#and das flavor pups have downgraded themselves from terrifying imposition to mild annoyance with potential for drama down the line#but these things will make everything else make better sense so i dont mind the bits i scrapped#now im cackling to myself writing out the dream scene and yes it will diverge slightly from how it panned out in the show!#because why the hell not#i also have been inundated with ideas for a sequel so im steadily noting down dialogue lines and ideas i want to see#and hopefully i stay on task and don't get too distracted by sequel daydreams#it'll be good tho when it gets there i promise you that#a true healing narrative that doesnt rely on punitive justice and creates a positive outcome without repeating codependant patterns#that we see so often in billford#yes love redeems but love for yourself is important in redeption arcs too and knowing that you can make something good with your own hands#is just the game changer i want to bring to the billford fandom#but anyway thats for later for now im back in action and hopefully on track for finishing the chapter by the end of the month#fingers crossed buds#I'm doing my best so all the folks needing a pick me up after world events get something fun to look forward to#kmky#knowing me knowing you
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I hope we see Lucifer training Charlie in Season 2. Plus it'd be cute if Vaggie was watching and Charlie decided to see if she also wanted to join in. Because Cmom, you know if she asks him to train her too he's gonna fold like Adam.
Are you me??? I literally left a reply on someone's post about wanting to see Lucifer more in season 2 and being scared it's not gonna happen cuz he's so OP and the main character is charlie and she has to solve her own problems
and I just went in with a reply like "OKAY BUT WHAT IF HE GETS TO TRAIN HER???" That solves both problems???? We get to see more of him AND Charlie gets to problem solve without him needing to just OP his way through the story
I didn't imagine Vaggie tho! :o
seriously tho the exact thought that's been on loop in my head is Charlie accidentally activates some sort of mega-angel beam or whatever, hits Lucifer in full, and she just panics CUZ OMG DAD, DID I JUST KILL YOU??? and then from the pile of rubble, Lucifer sticks out a thumbs up and you hear a muffled "THAT WAS AMAZING SWEETIE DO IT AGAIN"
#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#lucifer#charlie morningstar#okay but can I be real with you guys#I am lowkey TERRIFIED that something's going to happen to Lucifer#not for narrative reasons#which like okay I can imagine them too cuz i'm a very cruel writer to my own characters#BUT#for meta reasons#it's terrible that Lucifer is my favorite cuz we're just not going to get to see him that much#he's way too OP#he can create whatever he wants#power sweeps everyone#literal king of hell nobody is going to mess with him#so unless they really nerf him with the depression (which doesn't seem likely given the finale)#they're (the writers) are going to need to come up with a reason#why lucifer can't just sweep in and solve all of his baby's problems with a snap of his fingers#which leaves only a few options for him#1) most of the problems onward are social/relationship based which Lucifer can't control#2) most of the problems are with heaven which he has no influence over#3) he's dissociating too much of the time to realize there's even a problem happening#or... my greatest fear#4) he's going to get killed off/have something incredibly bad happen to him that immobilizes him to raise stakes#or I guess 5) alastor manipulates charlie and Lucifer to transfer his deal over to lucifer instead of charlie Little Mermaid style#but still#ngl as a writer#I don't see very many GOOD options for his character in the future#which is very conflicting for me cuz I love angst and whump#but I also want good things for my faves so
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favorite type of villanous characters are the ones whose motivations boil down to
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like they dont even have to have any stakes in the broader situation. they just have take pleasure in destruction
#sometimes this can be done in a very funee cartoon villain kind of way a la spike from buffy#and sometimes it can be done in a positively chilling way where this character knows for a fact that some of the effects of their chaos#will also make their life worse. but they just enjoy fucking with other people more than any privation they could personally experience#you can't sway this person with common sense because their own personal logic dictates that it doesn't apply to them#you can't sway them with emotion; your sadness/fear/anger/ineffectuality is part of the entertainment factor#can't sway 'em with threats because dodging threats is ALSO part of the whole point#this second version is the least pathetic type of character mostly because they simply do not give a shit about anything ever#any personal fears are buried or stomped out and figuring out why they do what they do won't stop them from doing it#and yet: in order to keep the relentless making-it-worse guy from being uninterestingly evil there does have to be SOME desire or need#bodily harm or lack of available victims could get you a moment of genuine terror or loneliness that sparks the audience sympathy#which you do need! just long enough for the sympathy to then be misplaced. which you also need bc this is an antagonist#the first version does very well at redemption arcs and is sort of built for them . they're almost too easy for the first cartoon version#the second version should be kept separate from redemption arcs at all costs#or you no longer have that character anymore now he's someone else#writing tag#q#god. one thing is that i know how to spot character types in writing and detail what's good about them and talk about it#but when it comes to then executing the concept? my perception of what's cool and works and my execution are MILES apart#frustrating as hell that i can identify this guy but not create him
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I got excited.
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#hazbin hotel#adam#squished adam#I don’t know what happened#BUT HELL YEAH ADAM ARMY#I saw a tiktok of someone accidentally printing so many Adams#and I wanted to create my own army#Oh yeah#it’s all coming together
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i’m gonna be honest it’s really hard to take people who refer to genAI as a “medium for art” seriously
#like idk what to tell you#punching words into a program and having the program procerxurally generate something isn’t an art form#not unless every single thing the program uses as data input is your art#and you wrote the code for that program too#then sure. yeah. if it’s your program and the data pool is your own work: congrats. you’re making art#but if you’re using other people’s art and not crediting them for the contributions: you are just not actually doing the work#and if you’re using someone else’s program and your only input is the prompt? you didn’t make shit#sorry that art actually requires effort#like idk. creating something of your own is the very definition of art. if you didn’t do the creating it wasn’t art#but while there is a modicum of creativity involved in coming up with a prompt for genAI that simply isn’t actually the same#you can collaborate with other artists and still be an artist: but they have to share the credit. they have to participate in co-creation#but typing a prompt into a program you or a collaborator didn’t design & code and using an LLM you didn’t create the data for?#that’s just like commissioning an artist to make art for you based on your inputs and prompts: you may own the art but youre NOT the artist#i know that can be hard to stomach#but like. if i pay someone to make a painting to my brief—with detailed descriptions of what i want—i’m not making a painting#hell. I ghostwrite professionally. and while someone else’s name is on the book or the article: they aren’t a writer. i am#typo in these tags but whatever
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