#things I wrote instead of things I should be writing
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pomegranate-fawn · 2 days ago
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Weekly update: Mundanity
I was fighting demons this week, creatively, emotionally, physically. I think there’s this idea what we always have to be our perfect, best selves. And when we fail at that idea, it’s something we should be ashamed of. We have to be palatable or else no one will like us and if no one likes us, are we even worth anything?
My whole life I’ve worked in curating the persona of a soft, quiet, sweet girl. And that’s not to say that I’m not those things, but it feels like more of a performance than my reality. I’m quiet, but not a comfortable quiet, I’m soft but only because I fear being deemed strong, I’m sweet because I’m scared to be called a bitch instead.
As I’ve grown older I’ve started getting rid of those traits and trying to figure out who I truly am. Most days my core personality trait is tired. I try to be full of life and happiness but it’s such a chore. I’m told that I used to be vibrant and fun…but it was never that. I think I was just better at performing. Most days I wake up and sob cause I don’t want to leave the comfort of my bed. It’s like a hug from your mother, you fear if you leave it, it will be the last time you experience that warmth.
I’m tired…but I still make it out of bed. Most days I even brush my teeth twice and walk over 8k steps! But these things don’t bring me joy, I’m still tired. I want to focus on joy, on the mundane, but my sadness thrives within this setting. But I’m also too scared to leave the house, change my view, so what now? Do I just rot? Do I just give up? Or do I try to thrive within the mundane?
I always pick the latter. I want to live, I know that I’ll always have this sadness sewn into my skin, but I want to live. Even if that means living with weakness, even if it means learning to accept my not so good traits. I want to live more over I want to find acceptance. Not from anyone, but from myself. God may never forgive me but I want to forgive myself. I once tried to write about thriving within the mundanity for a college essay but the professor was so insane that I gave up the topic.
This professor genuinely wrote a musical that was like the “parody” musical “Slam Frank”. But unlike the people behind that dumpster fire he was being legit when he wrote his monstrosity. That musical was so, so bad that it made my previously homophobic mother fully embrace me and accept my identity as lesbian. That night was probably the closest she came to having a revelation, I hope I experience a revelation soon.
I know there is no cure for my sadness, but maybe if I write enough, I can find my peace. I’m officially 56k into my original story, Dear Nightingale. It’s inspired by my love (and hatred) for Black Butler, the Victorian era, The House in Fata Morgana, Alice in Wonderland and Alice through the looking glass (the original books and the 1972 and 1988 live action adaptations), The Girl From The Other Side, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Madoka Magica. Yeah…Lots of inspirations! Some are far more surface level and others aren’t. I started writing thanks to the encouragement of my gf…I would have never written this much if she wasn’t in my life. And thus, my first offering of this post…the prologue. It is NOT proofread so I’m sorry if it’s lowkey incomprehensible but I hope you like it…this is me being brave and sharing more of my art…eeeks…
Okay moving on from that…I don’t know what pushed me to be so vulnerable this post. I guess for me, it’s easier to write my feelings instead of speaking them. Writing is all I’ve ever felt good at, though I’m trying to be kinder to myself. My grandpa brought forth my passion for writing and he would probably want me to find more in life than writing…or maybe not, he was SUPER passionate about it. Anyways, I think I’m good at other things, but writing is something I’ve always clung to. But so has reading, I guess they were my first escape from this world. And it’s hard to not try to escape such a stressful world.
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Something else I’ve clung to is my craft. After rejecting Christianity after half a lifetime of being incredibly religious, I felt lost. My mom got me into witchcraft not long after which honestly looking back could’ve easily gone wrong fast. Since I tend to be obsessive when it comes to religious beliefs. But honestly? It’s very chill for me. It’s part of my life but often takes a backseat. I worship the earth itself and all creatures on it…except ants I fucking hate ants I’m sorry Gaia. I really love cats and ravens and crows, I don’t really believe in patron saints or familiars but I try to befriend as many animals as I can. In the photo are two of the ravens I feed and talk to. I talk to animals, no, I do not think they can talk back. But talking to them makes me happy. One of them is a raven I nicknamed broken beak, I was really into Xenoblade when I gave him that name and he has a thick crack on his beak but he is healthy! Do not fear!
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Teatime is something I always do, as you may know by now. This is my favorite mug, I had one of these mugs since my junior year of high school. It’s by Mudworks on Etsy, I know people are scared to buy on Etsy cause of people lying about their products but this is genuinely an authentic mug and handmade. It’s beautiful and so cute! My gf is writing her own story, Grand Thesis. Genuinely I believe she is one of the best writers to exist, and that is not an exaggeration. Her work is detailed but not to the point where it can become repetitive, her characters are lively while still being grounded, and her pacing is excellent. I made an oc that she ended up making canon to her story, his name is Faraji and you can find him on this post of hers! I bring him up cause he owns a coffee shop in the story and she added my favorite mug to her story in his coffee shop…it made me emotional. Its the little things, noticing ones favorite mug or remembering their order at a restaurant, it’s small gestures that show how dearly one can love you.
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My love came over on Saturday and we played some more Sweet Pool, when I tried to screenshot the game it nearly crashed on me? I don’t know if it was something on my end or if it just…does that! Could be either. But I’m hoping to play more with her soon, I really love how it’s written and I have such a soft spot for Zenya he’s so eppy to me. I guess…if I’m being honest, I see him so far as someone with untreated bd, like myself, and that’s both a good and bad thing. Sometimes the ugly parts of yourself need to be shown to you before they can be changed or worked on. Sometimes just seeing someone else mirror your behavior even in fiction can be eye opening. But I feel bad for Zenya more than anything else, I could have easily turned out as mentally unwell had my mother not decided that I was hurting being in religion.
Ironically, the reason I’m not a fan of Mizuno or rather, Kirihara, is for the exact same reason I like Zenya. Kirihara is FAR more accurate to a portrayal of bd and the reality of forcing yourself to be something that you’re not, and I hate it. It’s hard to stare at a character that has so many flaws and then go “oh that’s lowkey me…” like I just wish that I could avoid my anger as easily as Mizuno. But I’m trying to work on myself, I go to therapy and I am overall kind. Idk, I’m just rambling but I hope it’s interesting at least. I plan to make a more in-depth post about Kirihara and bd so I’ll expand my thoughts there. Let’s move onto music.
I’m really gonna try to stop listening to Ethel Cain for a bit. I love Perverts and Preachers Daughter and Ethel Cain’s music so fucking much but I won’t lie…it is probably adding to my sadness. This is not me blaming Ethel Cain but rather me trying to accept that I cannot consume anything whenever I want, I have to be intentional or else I could end up harming myself or falling into a state of depression. With that being said, I WILL listen to Perverts one last time before shelving it for a while.
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I think I highlighted an fmab song last week…so this week I can glaze 2003’s ost. Which is just as good. Honestly, while I love both versions of fma…I think 2003 has stuck with me more. Which is funny cause on my yearly rewatch I tend to watch brotherhood and not 03 but I genuinely get so emotional over 2003. It was my first big anime and the story is so beautiful, while themes intersect with ones present in Brotherhood, I feel like 2003 is a lot more about rebirth and taking the good with the bad more than brotherhood is. And I think it feels more realistic in its portrayals of humanity it’s so good. This is one of the first songs in the ost, and it’s so melancholiac and yet hopeful.
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Lastly we have our video recommendation, which is Nikki Carreon’s second part to her Shane Dawson video series. I was never a fan of him and though I had friends that were, most of the time when I was shown his videos it was his conspiracy theory stuff so I just thought he was a weird but overall harmless clickbait YouTube but then obviously 2020 happened along with D’Angelo Wallace’s video on him and I was disgusted that such a man ever became famous. Nikki’s videos on him are even more in-depth than what D’Angelo went into plus I really love Nikki’s videos. I’d recommend watching part one before part two but I’m linking part two since it’s the one I watched this week (I watched the first part when it came out!)
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wildlifesmp · 3 days ago
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Writing tips? (As: what helps you sit down and write?)
YAY SOMEONE FINALLY ASKED !!! Okay!!
Short answer: classical conditioning and knowing thyself.
Long answer:
I view writer's block as not one terrible thing, but instead, two separate beasts: motivation issues (ie, finding a reason TO write) and blank page issues (actually writing once you've decided you're going to)
I'll start with blank page issues because that's something I actually have an answer for. Heres my step-by-step guide that isn't actually broken into steps because I like bulleted lists better.
- The goal here is to create a set of replicatable conditions every time you write, so that when you're brain registers them, it goes, writing time!
- Sit somewhere that you don't usually sit. This can be outside, in a different room, at the library, etc. Literally anywhere that doesn't have a "function" in your brain (such as a bed being for sleeping, the restroom being for restroom purposes, the desk being for working or distractions.) I usually sit on top of furniture so I'm close to the ceiling, but it really works anywhere that I don't already associate with something else.
- Eliminate distractions... I use a notebook to write because it doesn't let me get distracted during "research" where 5 minutes in on a computer I'd be watching youtube already. Whenever I'm working on my computer, I turn the internet off so I can't. I also keep my phone nearby enough that I can see the screen when notifications go off but far enough away that I can't reach it without stretching uncomfortably.
- Do things specifically to get you in the Writing Mood. For me, this is putting on certain cd's that I only listen to while writing (creating an association between them and writing in my brain). It can also be a specific playlist, etc, but the key here is you only listen to it while writing.
- Have a clear "starting step" you do right before you write. It should be less intimidating than the prospect of writing itself. For me, this is stretching my wrists (something you should do anyway).
- Introduce things that add Some Sort of (low) Stakes. For me, this is just setting a timer that I pause whenever I get up and take a break. There is no actual purpose to the timer, and no reward or punishment (since I dont count my words until I type it up later). Just the existence of the timer makes me feel like I'm being Timed, which is enough to get me writing. For some people, this is writing with a pen or using software that makes it so they can't backspace or see what they've already written, meaning what's on the page is on the page and they just have to move on.
- Side note on above: I've never had operant conditioning work. Every time I go "you can have a treat after you write" to myself. Every time I am very convincing and say, "We could just have a treat now and not write" and then I have a treat and nothing gets done. The reward of "you wrote! Yay" feeling is good enough on its own.
- Also do things to Reduce the Stakes. What, you may ask. You just raised them. And yes I did, but listen, you can do both at the same time. This for me is writing with a pencil so that I know I can erase if I need to. Ironically, I just scratch things out anyway. This is also making sure that no one sees the writing until I'm done, which reduces the feeling of being watched and having expectations to do Good.
TLDR: BLANK PAGE
- You want a bunch of repeatable environmental conditions that you only associate with writing. That way, when they're there, your brain goes "Oh time to write" and then writes. I think this is maybe called a trance state or something but I don't know because I arrived at these conclusions myself while writing in a core chemistry lecture .
- Introduce stakes, but make sure they're largely meaningless so you don't start to associate writing with stress.
- Also reduce the stakes. Make it so that whatever happens during drafting is between you and the paper. Deities are excluded here they can mind their own business.
now: Motivation. I actually struggle with this because you can't just condition your brain into Being Motivated like you can with Doing a Task. But here's what generally helps me:
- Try not to talk about your ideas too much with other people unless its collaborative. That way, the only way you can Get the Ideas Outta There is by writing. And then when you get the Ideas Itch in your head, you'll have to want to write instead. (note: this is how it works for me. if you're naturally more of a collaborative person and not trafficblr's most solitary tumblrina, do that. Motivation is more about what finding what works for YOU, rather than applying general basic principles)
- Find a good beta reader. Not just any beta reader. A GOOD one. The goal here is for there to be a barrier between "ah i have finally finished this piece of crap" and "everyone is looking at my work oh fuck". You want someone who gives you positive affirmation (yippee) while also giving you constructive feedback and catching your mistakes (which I find helps me trust someone's opinion more, and also makes me feel more comfortable about posting to the world). Obligatory shoutout to my beloved cubecrunchie. Genuinely sometimes i will write specifically bc beta reading is so fun, and it makes me feel like i'm improving which is another reward brain stimulus yay.
- um. Umm. Oh yeah. Write what you WANT !! Self-indulgent content is the secret to actually wanting to write. Shocker. (But like seriously. All of my abandoned/unfinished fics (cough fitpac au because it won a poll cough) are things I'd written for other people). You can also write for other people sure, but make sure it's a specific person or group of people you want to see happy, rather than like. a faceless crowd of imaginary consumers. that sucks. This can also look like writign to express your emotions etc. just do what you want forever really
- dont think too hard !!! Coincidentally (slash lie) whenever i think about being a writer as a core part of my identity, I write way less. It comes with a lot of stressful made up expectations about what a writer should be and just leaves me paralyzed. Just write, man
- and... know yourself!! Do a few sprints to figure out your general writing speed (for me, this is around 250-300 words every 15mins or 1000-1200 wph without breaks) . that way, you can set time out of your schedule to write accordingly without uncertainty of how much you'll get done!!
- figure out what works best for you!! do you like the calm of writing in the morning or the exhilaration of writing at night? Do you like to drink tea or coffee or soup (?) or what while writing? Really, just find things that will make writing enjoyable (i've seen those "turn writing into a game" programs, so you could always try them!!) so that you want to do it more. Boom. Motivation. Yippee stimulus. Yay enjoyment. Etc
- don't force yourself to write when you dont want to. The goal is to create more want, not more write. For instance, when november writing challenge was still reputable and i was doing it, i got food poisoning in the middle of it and couldnt write. But because i let myself recover instead of trying to force it, i was full of energy and rejuvenated and able to catch back up. Trust me. even when you dont write on bad days, your good days will be even better and you'll write more than enough to make up for it
- written is better than good. so much crap gets put out there because the authors put their skillpoints into doing instead of making it good and then they were the only ones to finish. being Good will come with time, trust. you just gotta get there by doing stuff and learning from yourself .... believe....
TLDR for motivation; figure it out yourself xD !!! but do what makes you happy and not stressed . Do not try to stress yourself out to make yourself write more. Listen to me. Listen to me reader. I did this in 2023 and it worked short term. And then I wrote only 7k for all of 2024 and hated every word of it. you're going to burn yourself out unless you make it fun. Please Make it fun.
OK THIS IS THE END finally yayy!!! (I'm a total yapper) Hope this helps :3 and good luck !!!!!!
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creepypastabilities · 3 days ago
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Howdy! My first time requesting lol,,,i'm little nervous ,but ok here i go
Since we had prompts about married Nurse Brian and Tim...could we have your take on a proposal?-v- I think it'd be really silly, aaaa, but I'm a fan of silly things.
Pd: I love your work
Howdy hey!! 💕✨ Welcome welcome!! First of all, thank you for trusting me with your first request—what an honor!! Your nerves are so valid, but I promise you there is nothing to be nervous about here!
You’re welcome to throw any idea, pairing, or vibe at me anytime. Be nervous, be dramatic, be ridiculous—I’ll match the energy with love, metaphors, and just the right amount of unhinged poetry <33
Now! Onto the writing!!
In a Fucking Hospital.
Pairing— Brian Thomas x Tim Wright (Marble Hornets.)
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Brian had a plan.
Of course he did. He’s the kind of man who overthinks breakfast. The kind who keeps receipts just in case. The ring had been measured, the speech rehearsed. Something about coffee spoons and Tuesdays and how Tim folds laundry like he’s daring it to fight back. There were metaphors tucked into his jacket pocket, waiting to be unspooled under the right kind of sky.
It was going to be soft. Quiet. Some place far from all the places Tim had learned not to flinch.
But plans, as it turns out, are no match for love.
Especially not the kind Brian carries for Tim—wild, inconvenient, impossible. It doesn’t live in the chest. It burns behind the eyes. It’s terminal, the kind of love that rearranges your bones and teaches your hands to shake.
So when Tim walks into the hospital—his hospital—dragging a split lip and someone else’s blood on his sleeves, Brian forgets the speech, the ring, the concept of language entirely.
Because there he is.
Storm in the shape of a man. Mouth set like a warning. Hands bruised from consequence. He sits like the air is too heavy for his ribs, like he’s endured the worst of it already and still isn’t sure if he’s allowed to rest. Hospitals make him cagey. Always have. They remind him of rooms that locked behind him and people who wrote him down in margins instead of speaking to his face.
He doesn’t belong here. Not the way Brian does.
And still—he came.
And Brian, watching him breathe under the white-noise hush of fluorescent lighting, thinks: God, I love you.
No. Not thinks. Knows.
Has always known.
Like remembering a song your mother used to hum before you had words for melody.
He crosses the room too fast. The world doesn’t feel stable beneath his feet. He touches Tim’s jaw like he’s afraid the heat of his hand will scare him off. Like Tim is some bloodied, half-feral thing that wandered out of a myth and into a waiting room.
“What happened?” Brian asks, because his mouth doesn’t know what else to do.
Tim’s eyes flick upward, slow and unimpressed. “He called you a whore.”
Brian laughs. Short. Shocked. “So you punched him?”
Tim shrugs. “Only once.”
Brian’s chest folds in on itself. Not from guilt. Not from shame. But from that stupid, unbearable tenderness that always undoes him when Tim is like this—quiet and mean and loyal to the bone. Like violence is a form of worship. Like love is something that should bleed.
And then Brian says it.
No preamble. No kneeling. Just—
“Marry me.”
Tim freezes. As if the words just brushed against something vital.
“…What?”
Brian swallows. Hard. “Marry me.”
Tim stares at him the way men stare at wreckage. Like there’s something beautiful in what used to be whole.
“Here?” he asks. Voice flat, but not unkind. “Now?”
Brian can’t explain it. Not really. Only that the idea of waiting feels like holding his breath underwater. He has loved Tim in every possible way—at 3 a.m. and in grocery store aisles and in the silence between arguments. He has loved him across seasons, across bruises, across the brittle bones of bad days.
And suddenly, there’s no better time. No cleaner room. No softer place to fall than this:
Tim Wright.
Blood on his collar.
Eyes like rain before it hits the ground.
So Brian nods. Just once. Like a man walking willingly into a storm.
“I had a plan,” he whispers, almost apologetic. “I was gonna take you to the hill behind the old diner. There were gonna be lanterns. Real sappy shit.”
Tim raises an eyebrow. “Lanterns?”
“I know,” Brian breathes. “But then you walked in and I—forgot how to stand upright.”
Tim doesn’t answer. Not at first. He looks away, jaw tight. Like he’s afraid to be seen. Like if he says yes, the whole world might hear it and take it back.
But then he says, quiet as snowfall:
“…Yeah. Fine.”
Brian exhales. It feels like setting down a cathedral.
He kisses Tim—gently, reverently, stupidly. Tim tastes like copper and disbelief.
Later, when they’re home, Tim will sit on the floor, legs crossed, and mutter:
“My proposal was in a fuckin’ hospital.”
Brian, unrepentant, will smile like a man who found God in the wreckage.
“And you still said yes.”
Tim will look at him for a long time. And then—just barely, just once—he’ll smile.
Because he did.
Because Brian asked in the one place Tim was supposed to hate.
And somehow, it became holy.
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always-coffee · 1 year ago
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An Invitation
What I want to say is
I like your face,
            I think about
your hands on me,
            but I don’t say this
aloud,
            and yet everything
about me is an invitation,
            an open door,
a conjuring of clothes
            on a bedroom floor,
and I’m not sure who
            will make the first move,
only that one of us will,
and it feels like a song
            I once knew
but forgot, you feel like a song
            I once knew,
come closer,
            let me sing it back to you.
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psychicthepsychic-daily · 2 months ago
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binary stars
image description:
a starry night sky with a poem. one column is about psychic, the second is about void. first read each column individually, then both together.
psychic:
look into the flaming apathy ask it for guidance and the promise of friendship sing a desperate song for the bleeding warmth and the binary stars …hello?
all i know is give. follow the words of honey and promise and find the whole world waiting for me. my family we were always together. you stir my curiosity; your needlelike stare fixated on me i return your favor, tepid echolocation finds your weighted reverberant thoughts i seek harmonic rapport atop the opposite wall the world stagnates tugging me down and i stubbornly pull away —only to return; looking for frivolity in your eyes
void:
this gaping chasm comprising one’s heart the cold indifference hollowed out laughs at me. to get away from the dark smiling abyss chase a blinding dream. …hello.
you can only take. weightless path leading me north, compass rose exponential love at my fingertips, you can’t fathom life fortune meant to be this way. isolated. i don’t quite understand why you are like this. it’s eating me alive, my mind, that electric tempest. far too loud. so sometimes i sit numb and deaf to it all like puddles of water after the rain glue me to the ground again and again i‘m chasing ephemeral lights, only, only, only, i see myself.
psychic and void:
look into // this gaping chasm the flaming apathy // comprising one’s heart ask it for guidance and // the cold indifference the promise of // hollowed out friendship // laughs at me. sing a desperate song // to get away from the dark for the bleeding warmth and the // smiling abyss binary stars // chase a blinding dream. …hello? // ...hello.
all i know is // you can only give. // take. follow the // weightless path words of honey and promise // leading me north, compass rose and find // exponential love the whole world // at my fingertips, waiting for me. // you can't fathom my // life family // fortune we were always // meant to be this way. together. // isolated. you stir my curiosity; // i don’t quite understand your needlelike stare // why you are fixated on me // like this. i return your favor, // it's eating me alive, my tepid echolocation finds your // mind, that weighted // electric reverberant // tempest. thoughts // far too loud. i seek harmonic rapport // so sometimes i sit atop the opposite wall // numb and deaf to the world // it all stagnates // like puddles of water after the rain tugging me down // glue me to the ground and i stubbornly pull away // again and again —only to return; // i‘m chasing ephemeral lights, looking for frivolity // only, only, only, in your eyes // i see myself.
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inseparabiles · 5 months ago
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#highkey envy everybody in the tags#who gets asks like 'please write piss kink yesterday'#where the fuck are you getting your freaks from#high society life has made me so prim and proper#got my pinky up when I drink my fucking tea
would you like write smut like that? is that why you haven't because you don't get asks like that and you would if you did? asking for a friend
It's genuinely. Like don't get me wrong we do like writing our genfic, we do love our all of that that we're doing anyway and people seem to like reading, but it's like
I guess it's been oddly branding? And I don't know if it's that people now take that brand as a "well you wouldn't do this thing and asking it of you would be weird and I'm going to respect your implicit boundaries by not doing it" or if it's more like "we, the audience that you have, want this specific thing that you're already writing and when you part from it it's HIGHKEY WEIRD and OFFPUTTING" or a mix of both but
would we like to get the kind of unhinged requests that we're seeing all over the tags? Get slapped in the face with an ask that's just so out there? Write explicit for the sake of explicit without having to find a better excuse for it? Yes. God. Yes. We would.
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lordgeneralsix · 8 months ago
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I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.
I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.
it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.
(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)
I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.
the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.
obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.
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crossbackpoke-check · 1 year ago
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
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in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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lyxchen · 8 days ago
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I think people have kind of lost sight of the type of show that Squid Game is. This show isn't a happy sweet show where bad things happen but in the end everything turns out well. This show is about death and sadness and injustice in the real world and most of all this show is about sending a message.
I am thoroughly impressed by Hwang Dong-hyuk that he stuck to exactly what this show is, even though he knew it was going make people sad. It's not the director's responsibility to make you feel good. It is however the director's responsibility to write a cohesive show that sticks to it's themes and the type of show that it is. That happens so rarely and it happens even less with shows whose concepts a based on the unfairness of the real world.
Hwang Dong-hyuk made and directed an incredibly well thought out show and did not let the pressure of pleasing everyone who watches it get to him and for that I thank him!!
#it is so so easy to give everything a happy ending#and i Love a happy ending#and i do think there's also an issue with giving shows sad ending when they deserve a happy ending#but this show was never set up to have a happy ending#and so it would be bad writing to still give it a happy ending simply because you don't want to upset fans#that's not how you make a show#that is fanservice to a high degree#and it's disrespectful to the show and the director to Want fanservice of him#i thing squid game specifically always needs to be looked at as the overall picture of it all#you can't complain about one small detail when that detail contributes to the being of the whole show#you can of course be sad and upset because believe it or not this show Wants you to be upset#this show is made to upset you so that you think about what exactly in the story upsets you#so directing all you sadness and feelings of being upset and the creators of the show#is an entirely wrong way to look at it#you should instead analize what made you so upset and try to prevent that from happening in your own life#that is what squid game always has been and that is what it will always be#i'm so glad that they wrote and filmed seasons 2 and 3 at the same time because i don't want to imagine how this show might have turned out#if they had to fully make season 3 while under the pressure of so many fans that focus entirely on the wrong parts of this show#netflix can promote the wrong aspects of it all they want but they will never change what Actually happens in this show#lea's random thoughts#squid game#squid game spoilers#squid game 3 spoilers#hwang dong hyuk#there will be no daeho slander no baby slander and no director hwang slander allowed on this blog!!!!#(the list keeps getting longer)#squid game analysis
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halfofafeatheredcat · 21 days ago
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how i come up with fic ideas
option one: read a fic and slightly alter it in my head until it is completely my own (this is how my first fic was born)
option two: based on a song (songs i've used include dilemma by apink, neo got my back by nct u, imma be by xlov)
option three: random idea when im trying to go to sleep (these are always the best but i hate them so much because i just want to go to bed why did i just have a fucking epiphany????????)
option four: hope that the writing prompt/vague world-building is enough to write a full fic (so far i have had the worst luck with this one)
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avirael · 1 year ago
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How to hold a grudge (on behalf of someone else)
“Oh! Hello Rael!”
The audacity of this man!, was all Rael thought as they opened the door to their house and found Thancred standing on the other side. They felt horribly tempted to just slam the door right back shut into his stupidly grinning face.
Certainly they could say that it had just been one of these intrusive Lalafell who tried to sell their useless and overpriced goods to gullible people (like A’viloh) or one of their neighbours asking to borrow sugar again. Anyone who was not Thancred Waters.
What did he even want here? Had all of the women in Revenant’s Toll finally realised how much of a fraud he was and fled town? Or maybe they had chased him away with brooms and pitchforks. Yes, the later was absolutely Rael’s preferred explanation for his unwelcome presence here.
They still glowered at the man, trying really hard not to greet him with an insult, when A’vi returned from the kitchen. “Who’s there?”, he asked gloomily on his way back to the couch. Just as Thancred appeared in his field of view, the Hyur raised an arm and waved lightly. “Hello to you too, A’viloh.”
“Oh!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed surprised and almost dropped the bowl of ice cream he held in his hands. And there was that expression again, Rael noted in frustration. The same one he had made the last time they had visited the Rising Stones. It was a strange mix of feelings and Rael thought it difficult to find a fitting word for it. He looked like he had mistaken some dangerous animal for a harmless pet and was now horrified by the bloodshed it caused but still couldn’t stop himself from liking that creature anyway despite its nature. Maybe the comparison was unnecessarily gruesome but Rael just hoped that A’viloh was at least clever enough not to get himself torn to pieces by the metaphorical sharp teeth.
***
It wasn’t all that difficult to understand how the Viera got this rather extreme opinion about Thancred Waters. He had always had a certain reputation around Vesper Bay and Ul’dah, Rael had quickly learned as they had asked around about the Scions before choosing to work with them. On top of that the man hadn’t exactly left a good first impression when they had met in person for the first time. Maybe he had honestly just been curious about meeting a Viera for the first time but Rael had already heard a few pretty stupid pick-up lines during their journey and this man had seemed right in line with that. A raised eyebrow and disgusted look on their face at least had quickly disheartened him to try any further.
But then there was A’viloh! Kind, yet so self-sabotaging A’viloh! Rael had long stopped wondering what it was that he found interesting about Thancred and instead decided to just blame it on a severe case of mental confusion. They had warned him about Thancred back when A'viloh had told them about the invitation but it really wasn’t their place to tell A’vi what to do or, in this case, not to do. So at first the Viera had simply intended for him to either be clever (which seemed unlikely) or learn that lesson on his own and the hard way if necessary. But this had been many months ago and in the meantime a lot had happened. By now the idea that the poor Miqo’te could get his feelings hurt by that vile man was giving Rael a headache.
Sure, Rael occasionally liked to tease him about the way he acted around Thancred and at first all of his infatuation had almost seemed to Rael like a good sign, but that assessment had changed shortly after. Finally Rael had managed to convince A’viloh that it would be a good idea to return to the Rising Stones and speak to Thancred about how the Miqo’te felt responsible for what had happened to him (and only about that, mind you!) but in the meantime Thancred had seemingly recovered very well and immediately reverted back to his old ways. Just worse. Both, concerning the quantity of alcohol and women.
In a surprisingly short span of time Thancred had managed to be seen with more women than Rael could count on their fingers, some of them just shamelessly flirting with but enough of them in more or less obvious situations. And that were just the ones he had no qualms to be seen with, Rael assumed. It was unnecessary to mention that A’viloh’s resolution to speak to him had died down abruptly.
Rael had observed this tragedy for as long and as peacefully as they could tolerate. They hadn’t wanted to interfere in something that actually wasn’t any of their business, so they had hoped that A’vi would soon get angry enough to stop moping. But they should have known that anger wasn’t exactly one of A’vi’s standard solutions for his problem and so of course it only seemed to get worse over time. Rael on the other hand had quickly developed a habit of getting angry on his behalf, to their own frustration.
One day Rael was speaking with Papalymo and Y'shtola about a book they were studying, when they noticed A'viloh gloomily staring down the counter of F‘lhaminn’s bar. After a moment F‘lhaminn, like the good barkeep she was, put a glass of liquor in front of him, raised an eyebrow and expected him to talk.
“What’s up with you?” she asked but A’viloh just grimaced and nodded to the glass in front of him. “That’s not a good idea. Alcohol and me don’t seem to go so well together.”
F‘lhlaminn had chuckled and made a peculiar face. “Oh, just like Thancred I guess…”, she said leaving it up to his interpretation if she meant alcohol and Thancred or him and Thancred, while she eyed him for a reaction.
A desperate sigh was all she got for an answer, but that was more than enough.
“Ha! So I rightfully thought this was about him. You know, I saw you eyeing him and Higiri…”
Avi snapped to attention, ears going up, face turning red. “What?! That ain’t true! Why would I??”
“If you say so…”, F’lhaminn chuckled again and returned her attention to the glass she was cleaning.
Seemingly unaware of the fact that he was proving her right, A’vi turned his head the other way and kept on sadly watching Thancred flirt with one of the doman girls from afar.
At that point Rael had decided to do something and stepped closer. “If you don't stop looking like this, I will go over there and I will punch him in his stupid face.”, they annouced sitting down beside A'vi.
Startled the Miqo’te turned around. “What?”
“It’s excuse me!”, Rael corrected and then repeated their words. “I said I am going to punch him in the face if you don’t!”
A’viloh was either truly unaware about his lovesick staring or had decided to play very very dumb. “Who?”
“Please! Don’t pretend to be more stupid than you actually are. Thancred of course!”, the Viera grumbled.
A’viloh still pretended to be oblivious. “Why should you do that??”
“You know why!”, sternly Rael glowered at him and finally the Miqo’te gave up this charade. “Alright! Fine! But how is he supposed to know that it bothers me?”, he retorted and Rael seriously wondered if he was this oblivious about how he was behaving.
“By the Twelve, A’vi!”, they exclaimed, a saying they had quickly picked up along with another few curses. “He can’t have that much brain damage to not notice that! Everybody in this building must by now have noticed that you are in love with him. I wouldn’t even be surprised if everybody in this whole town knows!”
A’viloh wanted to object at first but quickly gave up.. “I am not-... No… Please! Don’t tell me it is really that obvious?”
Rael rolled their eyes and slightly shook their head. “No, don’t worry! You just longingly stare at him every chance you get and sigh sadly every time he talks to someone. I guess your secret is safe!”
“That’s not funny…”, he muttered quietly with drooping ears. Rael just shrugged. It was only the truth.
Then A’vi added: “The idea that someone like Rowena knows something like that is kinda scary…”
“Careful! She’ll find a way to make money out of that. Blackmail or something…”, Rael couldn’t help but tease. At least the Miqo’te spent the rest of the day brooding over something that wasn’t Thancred Waters.
But then a few days later Rael had reached the point where they had enough.
One late afternoon they had found A’vi picking at his food while once again staring across the room, where Thancred sat at the bar with one arm around the shoulders of an annoyingly giggling Miqo’te girl. It was painful to watch, both Thancred and his conquest being so obliviously obnoxious as well as A’viloh’s reaction to it, but apart from this it was mostly infuriating. Rael wasn’t even sure who they wanted to yell at the most. So after wordlessly watching for a minute or another they lost their temper and growled at A’viloh.
“Are you mad!? You can’t seriously tell me that this -“, they hissed, silently enough not to catch any attention, gesturing towards the bar. “THIS is what you want? To be stupid! And replaceable! And forgotten before morning!?”
Slightly shocked A’viloh had stared at them for a moment, like he just realised it was the truth, before he wordlessly shook his head and sighed. It wasn’t fair that Rael had lashed out at him, they knew that, but seemingly he needed someone to tell him how ridiculous all of this was. Nonetheless he still looked sad of course, so this time it had been Rael, who had decided to take A’viloh and flee as far away as possible, seeking refuge in their house near Limsa again.
Of course this wouldn’t solve anything and they couldn’t avoid that bastard forever, but there was nothing else Rael could do about it. (Unless you counted maiming or murder a reasonable approach of course.) They simply hoped that A’viloh would soon come to his senses and realise how stupid it was to care about someone as ruthless as Thancred Waters.
***
And now this impossible man had the nerve to show up at their door! Obliviously grinning at that! They really wanted to strangle him. “What are you doing here, Thancred?”, they asked with a way too sweet tone and a strained smile, that somehow looked threatening.
“Ah! Very good question!”, he answered and laughed obliviously. “The two of you haven’t shown me your house yet! So I thought I‘d visit and see for myself!”
The carefully put together smile on Rael’s face faded as quickly as it had appeared. There was no way they would be able to remain friendly towards him even one second longer. “Well, now that you‘ve seen it, why don’t you go and—”
A’viloh, who until then was silently observing the contents of his ice cream bowl in concentration, at once snapped to attention. Alarmed he stared at the Viera while loudly proclaiming. “That’s so nice of you! Why don’t you come in first and we‘ll get you something to drink?”
He left it to Thancred to let himself in and instead grabbed Rael‘s arm to pull them into the kitchen.
“You can’t say something like this, Rael!”, he argued quietly.
“I can’t say what?”, they raised their eyebrows and didn’t bother very much to speak quietly. What bothered them though, was that A‘viloh still was so disgustingly friendly to him. Rael had thought he had understood by now, that on this man all kindness was wasted. “That, for all I care about, he can go and fuck himself?”
“Rael!”, A’viloh hissed and nervously eyed the door.
“Why?”, they simply retorted angrily, while picking up the bowl A’vi had put down on the counter and putting a light ice spell on it. They would rather have put that spell elsewhere.
“Because it‘s rude!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed. „Also, I don‘t think that would be very accurate to say considering… you know…”
“Please!”, Rael interrupted. “It’s very appalling how much thought you seem to have spared to that topic!”
A’viloh gasped. “What?! You started this! I didn’t!”
So much for gratitude!, Rael thought as they opened their mouth to retort something maybe a little bit too snarky. But just in that moment Thancred’s voice echoed from the living rooms. “You two have such a wonderful house. I already thought the garden was beautiful but in here? What a pretty place!”, he said as he pranced into the kitchen and confidently leaned onto the counter like he owned the whole place. To Thancred’s luck and Rael’s disappointment the knife block was out of the Viera‘s reach.
“Thank you…”, A‘viloh answered while still keeping an eye on Rael. The Hyur looked at them innocently smiling as if he didn’t notice at all in what a dangerous situation he had put himself. Nonchalantly he looked around and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “But don’t you think something is missing?”
“Missing??”, Rael echoed and wondered if they should break his nose and see if some of his own blood on the kitchen tiles would suit his taste more. But no! That would just give A‘viloh an opportunity to get unnecessarily worried about him again…
“What do you mean, missing?”, A‘vi asked confused and let his gaze wander through the room as well.
Thancred shrugged. “I don’t know, just a feeling… Are you already completely done with the house or is there anything left you wanted to do?”
“We are more or less done.”, replied the Miqo’te and then added. “Well, Rael still wanted a proper work desk but we didn’t have time for that yet. And maybe something to sit down in the garden or an orchestrion but that would be too much work I‘m afraid…”
Thancred nodded. “Mh, that’s a shame! I think some music would make this place even more cozy…”
(If by cozy he meant the untidy chaos A’viloh had turned their house into these last few days…)
“Right?”, the Miqo’te agreed excitedly. It was disgusting.
Rael had enough of this nonsense. They knew that it would get ugly if they had to hear only a single more word of this conversation. But just as they were about to leave with an inappropriate remark, telling themselves not to care about Thancred being a horrible person and A’viloh being an idiot, all of their linkpearls started to chime at once.
Surprised they stared at each other and then answered the call more or less simultaneously. Minfilia was on the other end of the connection asking if they all could come to the Rising Stones. Then she shortly explained that there had been new information and that all of them were to meet as soon as possible to plan their next move.
Her tone had been serious and all of them knew that this could only either mean one threat or another. While Rael went to the living room table to pick up their grimoire from beneath a heap of papers, Thancred excused himself saying that he would check a few of his own sources before meeting them later.
Rael threw a few things into a bag and went upstairs to change clothes. When they returned some minutes later A’viloh was wandering through the living room with a puzzled expression on his face, ice cream bowl in one hand (of course he wouldn’t let that go to waste!) and lifting the sofa cushions one by one with the other.
Rael sighed. “What are you doing??”
“Please tell me you’ve seen any of my weapons somewhere…”
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monster-noises · 8 months ago
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Hgggg
Had one of those sundays where i felt just like
A little bit like shit all day
So i didn't really get any of my comic work done and it just kinda became a Lost Day
So now as consequence my brain won't let me go to bed because i did not Satisfy the Requirements as Set Beforehand
But i would like to actually set myself up for a successful week of going to bed on timebl because i haven't the last two weeks and i can Feel it slowly destroying me spiritually, mentally, and physically
But sometimes there js Naught you can do in the face of Wanton Mental Illness
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randum-famdoms · 9 months ago
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Fuck it we writin
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robertseanleonardthinker · 2 years ago
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the urge to start writing fanfiction but i have never written a piece of fanfiction ever and haven't written creatively outside of school projects in years 😭😭😭😭
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aparticularbandit · 11 months ago
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oh, wait, kyoko wanted to go talk to mikan again after talking with toko.
what did she want to talk with mikan about.
ugh this is why i shouldn't take breaks. i forget small things.
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seventh-district · 1 year ago
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i ​also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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