#things I wrote instead of things I should be writing

[lightseoul]

a/n. pleasantly surprised at how quickly i wrote this bit, it practically wrote itself. glad the first part was interesting for a lot of you—i love writing about psych/therapy stuff (despite my complex relationship with 'em), and ofc bkg <3 i honestly don't know where i'm going with this, but it's been fun so far. (0.8k)

navigation. part 1, (you are here), part 3

thankfully—and to the relief of whatever dignity he had left—that interaction was short-lived.

well, it’s mostly because after you blinked at him for what felt like a torturous eternity and said a shaky hello back, he gave you a curt nod as if he wasn’t the one who just initiated the exchange and bolted it out of there without a single glance back.

that bit haunted him for the next few days, reappearing in his consciousness whenever the topic of therapy or anything remotely close to it was broached. he even snapped at kirishima when the redhead asked how his latest session went during one of their evening patrols together. it was a kneejerk reaction, an entirely out-of-proportion, aggressive response that shocked even him, which says a lot.

he should go ahead and text the guy an apology.

eventually, though, that unfortunate powwow slowly faded into the background of his exceptionally busy mind as the days went on. things got so hectic in the agency that he had to postpone his appointment for the week, which—quite frankly—is an upside to this chaos, because he sure wasn’t pumped about discussing his love life, or the lack thereof, with the jarringly knowing middle-aged lady. being able to definitively avoid you and buy you more time to forget about his stupid social blunder is merely the cherry on top.

okay, maybe the incident didn’t actually slip his mind after all.

“…bakugou-san? are you still with me?”

dazed, bakugou squeezes his eyes shut before fluttering them open, and what greets him is the very same lady against the backdrop of her increasingly familiar office, only this time she’s looking more concerned than perceptive.

right. he’s supposed to be in the middle of a session right now.

“yeah, sorry,” he mumbles, shaking his head in an attempt to rid himself of irrelevant thoughts and focus on the matters at hand. therapy is expensive, after all. “i’m here.”

that doesn’t seem to placate the woman who instead prods, much to his chagrin. “you seem out of it today. is there something in your mind that you want us to talk about?”

for a second, he debates caving and just telling her the dumb shit that happened two weeks ago, but then backtracks when it dawns on him how ridiculous everything is. what is he, a prepubescent boy? he died and survived a major war, for fuck’s sake. why is he so hung up on seeming awkward for once in his life?

even hearing it in his head is embarrassing enough.

that settles it, then. his lips are and will remain sealed.

but then his gaze refocuses on his therapist, and the sheer ‘unconditional positive regard’ or whatever the crap is called that she’s radiating becomes so palpable that it just spills out of him.

“i fucked up.”

that makes the lady frown—which, if he thinks about it, is understandable, because he rarely opens up about his failures, let alone this blatantly—although she manages to quickly school her expression into a more neutral one. “can i ask you to expound on it?”

at that, bakugou sighs, because it’s either he just tells the laughable truth or actually cite one of his actual mistakes—which he’s not feeling right now, by the way. or he can expertly maneuver the conversation to another topic, but something tells him there’s no getting out of the current subject. maybe today, there is, but it’ll surely loom over their next sessions indefinitely until either of them revisits it.

he should know. it’s happened to him too many times, he’s lost count.

with this realization, he can only sigh again.

“it’s stupid,” he preempts.

“i’d like to hear it regardless,” comes her classic, supportive response.

and so he does it. talk, that is. it starts off a bit rough—he didn’t know how to even begin without flushing like an idiot, but he managed to get the brief anecdote going. he still ended up blushing anyway—the warmth in his cheeks was undeniable—and if she noticed, she gratefully didn’t point it out. by the time he’s finished with the trivial tale, he’s mildly out of breath, having said everything in one continuous burst.

“i told you,” he spits when she doesn’t say anything for a beat. “it’s stupid.”

“i’d normally ask you to reconsider the adjectives you use for yourself and your experiences, but i think you’ve heard enough of that.”

he snorts. damn straight.

the woman then shoots him a smile, and he has to tamp down the reflex to bristle at an impending attempt to placate him. fortunately, it doesn’t come.

what does, instead, is a question.

one that catches him completely off guard.

“did you find her attractive?”

the fuck, is his first, immediate thought.

but then his normally trusty and acute brain seemingly comes to life and promptly supplies a second one that leaves him frozen and utterly dumbfounded.

yes.

˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 feel free to drop an ask, too—i'd love to chat with you. have a nice day!

tagging. @bunnysaursushii @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @elarakive @sugurusmoon @napbatata @k0z3me @h0ngh0ngh0ng @honeyoru @yoongiwithglasses @hellokitty-doll @lilsebnem @tetsuukuroo @crangrapel0ver @syrhra | @kalulakunundrum @cheezemanz @gold24fish @lunaryasha

[valar-did-me-wrong]

I keep seeing this sentiment among people that"the showrunners are giving into /going to give into Tolkien dude bros" and before too many fans actually start believing all this I jusy want to remind everyone somethings about..

The Hate Storm of 2022 🌪️

And how back then this show stood up with Ismael, Sophia, Cynthia, Morfydd, Sara, Lenny Meghan & Markella when the online hate was 1000000000000x worse than what you see rn.

If you weren't tuned into ROP back then, I assure you whatever vitriol you see about the show rn on twitter or ragetube is nothing compared to what was happening in 2022.

On sites like Instagram, not only bots & racists but even normal regular people used to directly bully you and pile on if you left even a single positive emoji in the show's comments.

Even many left leaning Tolkien blogs here were parroting lore points (originating on racist youtube channels) that were based solely on PJ movies, praising WB like it was a non-profit fighting against world hunger & warning to block ROP blogs on sight for watching a show made by Christian men

(PROF. TOLKIEN WAS A HINDU MONK WHO SOLELY WORE SAFFRON DHOTI I GUESS RIGHT?!?)

It was so much that back then the official trop Instagram account DELETED all their promotional photos, cast intros, teasers, trailers EVERYTHING to post a statment that condemned all the racist & horribly misogynistic vitriol thrown at the POC & female cast of the show.

They did all this when the hate campaigners were publically encouraging masses to review bomb ROP across internet to the point that IMDb had to suspend posting user ratings of the show without reviewing them first.

And the global public sentiment was basically hacked by loud incessant misinformation, lies and rage bait that made it trendy & even progressive to bash on the show.

Now despite all this the showrunners stood by their creative choices & actors back then just how they are doing it rn imo..

Remember when the Haters™ complained about Arondir being "too good of a warrior to be true"?? The show did not let that change their decision of showing Arondir as an exceptionally skilled warrior. Even in S2 when his storyline got disturbed by Nazanin leaving, they made sure to give him as many action sequences as possible, made him fight beside and more than High King Gil Galad of the Noldor & Elrond freaking Peredhel in the Siege.. even highlighted all this in BTS videos.

And when the the internet pushed that Galadriel should not be fighting on the frontline but rather float in forests?? They reminded the lore bros of Nerwen with her hairstyle exactly how Tolkien wrote and still made her fight orcs, rescue survivors, negotiate sucessful peace treaties, duel with Sauron & kick his ass in an ultimate finale showdown.

And orc family hate?? Despite all the loud nonsense around it they highlighted it with dedicated posts & Tolkien quotes instead of hiding it away.

And finally, despite consistent continuous complaints against the Harfoot storyline, they did not shrink it or write it out.. because in their vision of Tolkien the little guys & their stories are important so they stay, even going into S3.

I'm not saying there aren't any problems with their depiction of POC characters or writing or pacing. There DEFINITELY are, I mean look at who all died among Elrond's company... The problems especially with minor POC characters are there & VERY visible in S2. (which I hope they fix in future seasons)

But imo these things aren't because the show wants to please racist ragetubers or try to win over a group of Tolkien fanatics who will never become show fans anyway. You, me, my dog, the Haters™ and even Mcpayne know this.. it's common sense atp.

All to say this show was literally forged in the fires of Internet hate storms, I don't think the pathetic flicker of the remaining Haters matters to the showrunners anymore.

(Also the ratings people keep using to scare the fans are US ONLY ratings & data, there's a whole world out here beyond US & the show remained in the Prime top shows across many countries for weeks & weeks after the S2 finale.. and the constant stream of new viewers that are starting the show for the first time just on this website should be proof enough that the show is doing fine) Don't let the show haters' talking points get to you!

Season 3 is, for all intents & purposes, already green lit and ROP is going to complete the story it started out to tell.. don't worry needlessly :)

edited Tolkien lore bros to Tolkien dude bros (I'm not saying all masc fans of Tolkien are racist sexists I promise, it's just a term we use here 😭) after someone from outside of ROP pointed they have a problem.. clarifying things here also, if you love Tolkien & dislike ROP for reasons other than female lead/POC characters/not a copy of PJ = bad etc etc, I've no problem with your personal opinions & this post is not about you :)

[vidavalor]

You never know but I'm pretty sure that there is no Great Plan, other than for all to live freely by making their own plans.

I think that Armageddon is not just the Biblical, end-of-Earth kind but the idea that a person is a planet of their own, too. The big, global/Biblical war types of Armageddon are metaphorical for a person's own mental health struggles-- their own personal Armageddons-- that, if unchecked, could cause the end of their worlds aka themselves and the world they've made out of their life and the people in it.

The Nice & Accurate Prophecies seem to me to really be all just a series of well-observed, realistic, and empathetic life advice and notes on how to unfuck yourself if you get stuck. You can break down the prophecies and apply them to the different plots in the story but you can also just take them as good advice for living your own life, too, as needed.

I think that one of the big messages in the story overall, though, is to always think critically about what messages you internalize. It's to not blindly follow the words of another but to be open to listening to viewpoints, thinking critically about them, and then crafting your own world view.

It's just like the horoscope in The Tadfield Advertiser that The Voice of God brings up. There's nothing wrong with reading a silly horoscope on a bad day and allowing its intentional vagueness to feel applicable to your life in a way that you might need or want in that moment. What would be wrong would be blindly believing it to be some kind of Divine Sign in such a way as to not think critically about the sources and the validity of the advice.

As The Voice of God points out, many things in the horoscope can be correct... but not all of it is always correct. The horoscope in question, for instance, says that you should avoid salads... and we all know that it's not actually healthy to do that. It's showing that if you put blind faith in something without thinking critically about it, you're actually putting yourself on a very unhealthy path.

The Voice of God is talking about a horoscope, yeah, but... she's also not just talking about a horoscope.

She's also talking about the bullshit, manipulative kind of life guidance like that of influencers like Famine, about different forms of propaganda, and, more than anything else, she's talking about all religious texts... especially, The Bible.

It's a warning to people to be open to the ideas of others and curious, always, but to also think critically about the motivations of those behind and pushing those ideas, instead of blindly following them. It's a warning to not blindly follow the words of another but to read and study everything you can get your hands on and then make up your own mind on what you believe is the correct path.

It's perfectly fine to say 'there's some good stuff in here that I needed to hear today but the bit about the salads was totally incorrect' and move on. Whether it's a silly horoscope or any other secular thing or whether it's The Bible that we're talking about doesn't matter. Resist thought control and groupthink through being curious and learning everything you can and thinking critically about everything you take in.

I've got some quibbles with Agnes Nutter's writings, even though I like many of her prophecies quite a lot, and I'm amused by the fact that my main issue with them is the vagueness of what she wrote and how some people might mistake the meaning of it by looking at it too literally and... do I now not actually sound like I might as well be describing The Bible? 😂 Pretty well-played by this religious satire, no? *giggles*

Books Can Go Up Like...

...paper.

The expression is: "[x] can go up like paper."

It's used as a warning to be careful in having certain, highly flammable materials around open flames. The simile is in how, of all materials, one of the easiest to catch fire and go up is paper.

Something on fire is something that is going up or burning up... but what is the end result of that fire?

What goes up in flames is really something that is burning down.

During S2, our visiting angels to the bookshop help to teach us a recurring metaphor: books = people.

When Muriel asks Crowley for a book, they describe books by saying that "books are like people, only portable." For much of the season, Jim works hard to group the books together in a way that is thoroughly illogical when applied to literal books but actually brilliant if applied to those metaphorical books known as people. He's grouping books together by the first letter of the first sentence of each book. By their shared origins and experiences. By the things they have in common so that they feel less alone.

Books, written by people, are a metaphor for people.

So, when Nina says during the bookshop attack where they are trying to keep literal demons at bay as a metaphor for keeping Aziraphale's own inner demons at bay: "Why all the fire extinguishers?", Aziraphale recounts when the literal books went ablaze in S1-- at the same time as when he went Up-- when he explains:

Aziraphale points out that, as is often the case with metaphorical books, there was once a fire that burned down every book in this bookshop. In a moment of Aziraphale's own going Up, so, too, did the thing metaphorical for himself-- his bookshop and all the books in it.

The literal books all went up in flames and then fell down, charred into ash, all around the fallen angel who lights the good kind of fire in the book known as Aziraphale and whose trauma from this particular, literal fire is such that he needs a fire extinguisher within reach in every room, in hopes that that might be enough to keep the bookshop, its books, and the metaphorical book who owns it from ever going up in flames and burning down again.

Fires start, though, and there's another idiomatic expression of note, too: What goes up must come down. It's just gravity.

[br0nzefox]

I’ve got a bone to pick with post season 3 episode 13 (post fall) Hannigram fics. Actually 3 bones.

So why are all Hannibal fanfics afraid to portray their relationship as toxic? Will and Hannibal’s relationship is unhealthy, it’s manipulative, and toxic, and possessive and obsessive and I wish more people portrayed it as such. Most post fall fics just have them healthily communicating for the most part and getting into pretty minor fights (at least compared to their past). Like they should be constantly provoking and prodding at each other. Jabbing fingers into wounds (both literally and metaphorically). Their fights should be explosive and dangerous, they should be stabbing each other and trying to strangle the other and then helping each other stitch up the wounds. Btw I don’t mean they should be actually trying to kill each other but they would absolutely try to hurt each other. Just remember Mizumono.

Also another thing is pacing - it always feels like they either revert to their pre-murder-threesome state and Will acts like he doesn’t know Hannibal is in love with him or that he doesn’t realise he also loves Hannibal. But killing Dolarhyde and the Fall was a turning point. That’s the moment all truths were laid bare. Or fics just game them immediately running off together to Cuba to live like an old married couple. Like I’m not saying they would never become domestic but it definitely wouldn’t be immediately. They also wouldn’t really stop killing just because Jack would be searching for them. Hannibal was on the run in Italy but that didn’t stop him.

And a final thing I wish more fanfics just let Will be evil instead of reverting to him being this shy closed in timid introvert who doesn’t really stand up for himself and is still attached to his old life and is still in denial about enjoying killing. That old Will fell off a cliff and a new Will was born. And this new Will would be much more like Hannibal. And he would like killing and he wouldn’t be afraid of standing up to Hannibal. After the fall they are complete equals, and they are equally evil and unhinged.

So those were just my thoughts. I obviously understand different people just want to write them differently but I wish more people wrote them like this.

[strangersatellites]

strangers 1.3k words

inspired by ethel cain's song "strangers" and if you read this it is a requirement that you listen to it. (its linked at the bottom)

idk team I was just listening to this song for the millionth time and needed to get this out, so here's 1.3k words of Eddie experiencing life after death and Steve dealing with grief and guilt I guess

Eddie is a ghost. 

He’s made his peace with that.

Some kind of Upside-Down ghost probably. He doesn’t really care.

The people of Hawkins don’t know that. They still believe, still fear that he’s out there somewhere. Everyone that cared about him knows better.

WIthout a proper grave he just kind of… drifts. 

Into and out of spaces, he leaves behind no trace save for a soft breeze if someone’s really paying attention.

They usually aren’t.

He’s not really a physical being so much as a feeling. Still in his body but less aware of it than he ever was. He thinks he couldn’t explain it if he wanted to. Couldn’t explain the way that people can’t see him or hear him when he’s there, but later feel like they had, and feel crazy trying to explain it. He’s had to learn his way around his new consciousness in a way that lets him be near the ones he cares about without hurting them. It's an exhausting cycle, to feel out of your mind.

He can see it in the way dread and grief tug at the shoulders of the people he loved. He knows this because the more someone thinks of him, the closer he can get to them. 

At first he was at home a lot. 

Well, as at home as he could be in this new place they’ve got Wayne in. It’s nowhere Eddie’d ever been when he was living, but Wayne’s there so it's home nonetheless. But as weeks turn into months the closest he can get is just outside the door. He can’t get inside, can’t actually see Wayne anymore. Can’t see the way that loneliness weighs him down. The way he picks himself up every time.

So he lets himself drift to wherever he’s pulled next. A time or two it's been to Jeff’s garage while he’s practicing. Several times he’s gotten to see inside Dustin’s room late at night before the kid falls asleep. 

But the place he’s finding himself more and more often, he didn’t recognize at first. He just knew it was a basement somewhere. Drafty, door locked tight, and with nothing but dusty tools to keep him company, he found comfort in knowing that someone was remembering him. Even if only a little. Even if it’s a stranger.

Eddie’s drifted in and out of whatever kind of consciousness he experiences for a while before his surroundings morph and change. 

The kitchen of the Harrington house he would recognize anywhere. 

He smiles as he takes in the new space and thinks that if he had a human body he’d be sat up on the counter just like he is now.

Steve walks into the kitchen with a furrow in his brow and Eddie takes the time to really look.

This is the first time he’s seen Steve since the last of his air left his lungs and he’s hit with a strange sense of longing. 

Can see it in the bags under Steve’s eyes that, even now, say he’s still carrying everything on his own.

He’d always done that.

When Eddie had made that stupid, stupid decision, though he’d be loath to admit it alive, he’d wondered if Steve would've done the same thing. 

He thinks they both knew the answer was yes and that that’s the reason Steve still looks like hell even months later.

He looks like hell but he’s still so handsome walking over toward Eddie now. 

Eddie knows he can’t see him, doesn’t know he’s there. But he still finds himself longing for the closeness when Steve grabs a glass from the cabinet and leaves the room again.

In an instant Eddie’s back in the basement. Steve’s memory of him gone as quick as it came as Eddie is left with the question that followed him his whole life:

Am I no good?

As he wastes away in the drafty, cold he realizes that he doesn’t feel a pull anywhere else. He decides that seeing Steve once in a while, if only for a short time, is better than being forgotten.

It becomes a routine. Eddie’s hours will turn into days, and he’ll lose track of time. Then he’ll blink and he’s watching Steve stare at himself in the mirror. He looks like he’s been crying and like he’s going to be sick. Eddie wants nothing more than to be able to comfort him. But as quick as they come, they go, and Eddie begins to connect the dots. 

Eddie’s memory, like everything else Steve seldom allows himself to feel, gets carried with him always. But he locks them away tight in his heart and only lets them out when he thinks no one is watching. When he thinks he’s allowed to miss Eddie.

So Eddie stays in the basement, stays in Steve’s heart, heavy, guilty, until Steve’s ready to face it again.

One day it catches Steve by surprise.

Eddie can tell because he’s in the middle of putting away groceries when Eddie gets there.

At first Eddie’s confused. But then he sees the milk carton in Steve’s hand with the big MISSING: EDDIE MUNSON and his photo on the side. There’s a sale sticker over his face in what was surely some angry grocer’s last ditch effort to sell milk with the Hawkins devil on the side.

Steve’s frozen just looking at it and honestly Eddie gets it.

After everything that was lost, this may very well be the only physical memory of him that’s left save for a polaroid photo in an evidence locker somewhere.

He’s able to drift close enough to hear the breath Steve lets out before he puts it in the fridge and finishes unpacking his bags.

From that point on Eddie’s no longer in the basement.

He’s able to drift all around Steve’s house and he learns that he can touch things.

He watches Steve’s smile come back when Robin’s over.

He flits his fingers across windchimes when the air is still and watches them take in the music.

He watches Steve crash after long days at work and drags a blanket up over his shoulder.

Sees his confused face when he wakes.

He looks on when Steve pours the milk down the drain and puts the empty carton right back in the fridge.

Even though this makes him sad, he makes a smiley face out of the magnets on the door. Hopes that Steve notices.

He sees him scream out his anger late into the night and wishes that he could touch Steve.

But as time goes on he’s able to witness the way that Steve learns to carry the guilt, but to also try to let himself breathe.

Eddie spends a lot of his time wishing he were alive so that he could tell Steve he’s proud of him. That he could tell him he’s surrounded by people who would help him carry it all if he would just put it down. Wishes he were alive for a lot more reasons than just that.

But the night he gets the closest is when he figures out that he can use the phone in the office to call the one in Steve’s room while he’s away.

He’d learned early on in this afterlife that if he spoke he wouldn’t be heard. But he has a hunch that this might be an Upside-Down loophole.

He’s sitting on the floor across from where Steve’s lying in bed, and he’s watching the stream of tears drip down his pretty, pretty face while he listens to the voicemail.

Hey Stevie.

Called you just to tell you that I made it real far, and that I never blamed you for loving the way that you do while you were torn apart.

I would still wait with you there.

Don’t think about it too hard or you’ll never sleep a wink at night again. Don’t worry about me, Stevie, just know that I loved you.

And I’ll see you when you get here.

[theonefairygodmother]

Kinda agree with both, but more often than not, I see people using wrong characters tags and characterizing a character with the actors' personality not because of lack of writing ability but instead to boost the popularity of their own work or just because they dont really want to learn about the character. Tbh I think creating fanfiction comes from two fronts: loving/hating the original work and having fun. If either are poorly balanced that's okay, but we need to keep some organization around here.

If your character doesn't have the same personality as the original guess what: you can use ooc!nameofthecharacter which is basically a tag fans came up with to alert other fans about their decision to not stick to the original character's personality. Same as the fight between x reader and x oc. If your "reader" has a name different than Y/n guess what! That's an OC! Which there's absolute no problem, people can do whatever they want in fanfic just admit you're doing it. It's simple. Don't use tags that don't belong there, don't use the wrong rating just to get more people to read your fic, bla bla bla. In doubt, ask other writers on Twitter, Tumblr, wherever you want.

Talking about getting people to read your fic: I mean, I've seen authors rewriting their own work with different characters. Not once, not twice but three times and by two different authors. I'm not talking about repeating a trope, I'm talking about authors who wrote a very good story for Fandom A that got them many likes and notes to the point that a year later they decided to use the same prompt, the same character dynamics, the same dialogue, the same personality of the main characters but just changed their names for characters from Fandom B. Basically they copied paste to have something to add to this new fandom instead of creating something for the new fandom. Are they allowed to do that? Of course, they can do whatever they want but is really fucked up.

It seems like fanfiction became this thing you should consume and produce, and if you dont have enough notes on it, you're doing it wrong. I've seen people make trailers and dialogue videos to capture the attention of reader on tiktok and tumblr. The worst thing is that they come up with parts just like marketing teams do. Which means that these parts of the fic most often than not are not even in the text of the fic. The authors come up with phrases and dialogues that wont ever feature in their own work. This is very different from actually working on your fic and being excited about something you wrote and wishing to share with other fans, which is the most sensible way. Because why would you use wrong tags, why would make "promotional work", why would face your fanfiction as if you are an influencer???? Fanfiction is not about this. You shouldn't be writing to become the most famous author of AO3. No one who is the most famous author of the Fandom A or B has ever started writing because of this. Nobody fucking cares, this is not a fucking a business.

So, even if it's not a business and maybe we shouldn't be so rigid about what people want to do with characters and how they want to portray them, maybe we should care at least a little bit. Just enough to avoid letting people transform fanfiction into a business. Just enough to avoid letting people use the platforms as they're not intended. Just enough to keep this thing organized and not a mess just because some people want the attention TikTok environment has convinced them they should have.

I think we have been normalizing too much. It's easy to accept anything when you have a small fandom because we're fearful of not having enough content to consume, but I think the problem is that this problem of characterization is happening too often. Out of all Lilia's x reader fanfics maybe 2 or 3 are in character. And if the authors are doing it because they can't write Lilia than that's okay. But we can still be fucking pissed about it, choose not to read it and try to bring awareness to this problem.

Guys, I love you all to bits–and I'm obsessed with Patti just as the rest of you. But, my brothers in christ, I bEG of you to stop mischaracterizing her roles as patti clones. it's frankly a little insulting to patti's insane acting range! I really don't think Patti and Lilia Calderu, per se, act or talk or think alike at all, for example. And while she does bring a very particular, italian, patti-edge to everyone she plays, she still plays them entirely different to each other. Lilia may have Patti mannerisms, a Patti essence of sorts, but she's very different to our girl. Same applies to Joanne, to Avis Amberg, to Nellie Lovett, to Reno Sweeney, to Joan Ramsey, to Evita Perón, (fucking Evita Perón-) to Kitty Duval, to Libby Thatcher, to Fantine, Norma Desmond, Mama Rose, Helena Rubenstein, Maria Callas?? Joan Clayton, Dr Seward?? 😭🙏 Her acting isn't even the same in two performances of the same character, I think it's a little underwhelming to portray all her characters as entirely Patti just because of her icon status and the fact we all want to sleep with heR-

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[always-coffee]

An Invitation

What I want to say is

I like your face,

            I think about

your hands on me,

            but I don’t say this

aloud,

            and yet everything

about me is an invitation,

            an open door,

a conjuring of clothes

            on a bedroom floor,

and I’m not sure who

            will make the first move,

only that one of us will,

and it feels like a song

            I once knew

but forgot, you feel like a song

            I once knew,

come closer,

            let me sing it back to you.

[wizardsix]

I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.

I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.

it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.

(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)

I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.

the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.

obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

[antipathy-arsonist]

i wonder if hank ever feels a sight sense of. resentment at being brought back from the dead yanno?

like yeah maybe the other place is also a desolate hellscape but from the. admittedly little i understand about it (im not. super at picking up all the science fiction-y shit lol) your s3lf like. starts decaying after a while right? until you cease to exist?

i feel they probably do not enjoy being dragged from realm to realm all the time anyway.

every time they wake up from the dead on the cold hard ground outside, or in the magnification chamber, or docs office i think some small itch of irratation and fatigue grows just that small bit larger. and they begin to start forgetting any rational or benevolent reason anyone has for bringing them back until everyone around them seems to be maliciously playing a part in the universes scheme to torment them

woah... edgy

[sophiethewitch1]

sometimes certain horror tropes don't work on me because I really do just believe love triumphs over hate like a 4 year old or something. what do you mean I have no mouth but I must scream is scary if AI grew conscious it wouldn't hate us it'd be our friend :)

[jascurka]

*Is an art student* man I wish I could draw....

[avirael]

How to hold a grudge (on behalf of someone else)

“Oh! Hello Rael!”

The audacity of this man!, was all Rael thought as they opened the door to their house and found Thancred standing on the other side. They felt horribly tempted to just slam the door right back shut into his stupidly grinning face.

Certainly they could say that it had just been one of these intrusive Lalafell who tried to sell their useless and overpriced goods to gullible people (like A’viloh) or one of their neighbours asking to borrow sugar again. Anyone who was not Thancred Waters.

What did he even want here? Had all of the women in Revenant’s Toll finally realised how much of a fraud he was and fled town? Or maybe they had chased him away with brooms and pitchforks. Yes, the later was absolutely Rael’s preferred explanation for his unwelcome presence here.

They still glowered at the man, trying really hard not to greet him with an insult, when A’vi returned from the kitchen. “Who’s there?”, he asked gloomily on his way back to the couch. Just as Thancred appeared in his field of view, the Hyur raised an arm and waved lightly. “Hello to you too, A’viloh.”

“Oh!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed surprised and almost dropped the bowl of ice cream he held in his hands. And there was that expression again, Rael noted in frustration. The same one he had made the last time they had visited the Rising Stones. It was a strange mix of feelings and Rael thought it difficult to find a fitting word for it. He looked like he had mistaken some dangerous animal for a harmless pet and was now horrified by the bloodshed it caused but still couldn’t stop himself from liking that creature anyway despite its nature. Maybe the comparison was unnecessarily gruesome but Rael just hoped that A’viloh was at least clever enough not to get himself torn to pieces by the metaphorical sharp teeth.

***

It wasn’t all that difficult to understand how the Viera got this rather extreme opinion about Thancred Waters. He had always had a certain reputation around Vesper Bay and Ul’dah, Rael had quickly learned as they had asked around about the Scions before choosing to work with them. On top of that the man hadn’t exactly left a good first impression when they had met in person for the first time. Maybe he had honestly just been curious about meeting a Viera for the first time but Rael had already heard a few pretty stupid pick-up lines during their journey and this man had seemed right in line with that. A raised eyebrow and disgusted look on their face at least had quickly disheartened him to try any further.

But then there was A’viloh! Kind, yet so self-sabotaging A’viloh! Rael had long stopped wondering what it was that he found interesting about Thancred and instead decided to just blame it on a severe case of mental confusion. They had warned him about Thancred back when A'viloh had told them about the invitation but it really wasn’t their place to tell A’vi what to do or, in this case, not to do. So at first the Viera had simply intended for him to either be clever (which seemed unlikely) or learn that lesson on his own and the hard way if necessary. But this had been many months ago and in the meantime a lot had happened. By now the idea that the poor Miqo’te could get his feelings hurt by that vile man was giving Rael a headache.

Sure, Rael occasionally liked to tease him about the way he acted around Thancred and at first all of his infatuation had almost seemed to Rael like a good sign, but that assessment had changed shortly after. Finally Rael had managed to convince A’viloh that it would be a good idea to return to the Rising Stones and speak to Thancred about how the Miqo’te felt responsible for what had happened to him (and only about that, mind you!) but in the meantime Thancred had seemingly recovered very well and immediately reverted back to his old ways. Just worse. Both, concerning the quantity of alcohol and women.

In a surprisingly short span of time Thancred had managed to be seen with more women than Rael could count on their fingers, some of them just shamelessly flirting with but enough of them in more or less obvious situations. And that were just the ones he had no qualms to be seen with, Rael assumed. It was unnecessary to mention that A’viloh’s resolution to speak to him had died down abruptly.

Rael had observed this tragedy for as long and as peacefully as they could tolerate. They hadn’t wanted to interfere in something that actually wasn’t any of their business, so they had hoped that A’vi would soon get angry enough to stop moping. But they should have known that anger wasn’t exactly one of A’vi’s standard solutions for his problem and so of course it only seemed to get worse over time. Rael on the other hand had quickly developed a habit of getting angry on his behalf, to their own frustration.

One day Rael was speaking with Papalymo and Y'shtola about a book they were studying, when they noticed A'viloh gloomily staring down the counter of F‘lhaminn’s bar. After a moment F‘lhaminn, like the good barkeep she was, put a glass of liquor in front of him, raised an eyebrow and expected him to talk.

“What’s up with you?” she asked but A’viloh just grimaced and nodded to the glass in front of him. “That’s not a good idea. Alcohol and me don’t seem to go so well together.”

F‘lhlaminn had chuckled and made a peculiar face. “Oh, just like Thancred I guess…”, she said leaving it up to his interpretation if she meant alcohol and Thancred or him and Thancred, while she eyed him for a reaction.

A desperate sigh was all she got for an answer, but that was more than enough.

“Ha! So I rightfully thought this was about him. You know, I saw you eyeing him and Higiri…”

Avi snapped to attention, ears going up, face turning red. “What?! That ain’t true! Why would I??”

“If you say so…”, F’lhaminn chuckled again and returned her attention to the glass she was cleaning.

Seemingly unaware of the fact that he was proving her right, A’vi turned his head the other way and kept on sadly watching Thancred flirt with one of the doman girls from afar.

At that point Rael had decided to do something and stepped closer. “If you don't stop looking like this, I will go over there and I will punch him in his stupid face.”, they annouced sitting down beside A'vi.

Startled the Miqo’te turned around. “What?”

“It’s excuse me!”, Rael corrected and then repeated their words. “I said I am going to punch him in the face if you don’t!”

A’viloh was either truly unaware about his lovesick staring or had decided to play very very dumb. “Who?”

“Please! Don’t pretend to be more stupid than you actually are. Thancred of course!”, the Viera grumbled.

A’viloh still pretended to be oblivious. “Why should you do that??”

“You know why!”, sternly Rael glowered at him and finally the Miqo’te gave up this charade. “Alright! Fine! But how is he supposed to know that it bothers me?”, he retorted and Rael seriously wondered if he was this oblivious about how he was behaving.

“By the Twelve, A’vi!”, they exclaimed, a saying they had quickly picked up along with another few curses. “He can’t have that much brain damage to not notice that! Everybody in this building must by now have noticed that you are in love with him. I wouldn’t even be surprised if everybody in this whole town knows!”

A’viloh wanted to object at first but quickly gave up.. “I am not-... No… Please! Don’t tell me it is really that obvious?”

Rael rolled their eyes and slightly shook their head. “No, don’t worry! You just longingly stare at him every chance you get and sigh sadly every time he talks to someone. I guess your secret is safe!”

“That’s not funny…”, he muttered quietly with drooping ears. Rael just shrugged. It was only the truth.

Then A’vi added: “The idea that someone like Rowena knows something like that is kinda scary…”

“Careful! She’ll find a way to make money out of that. Blackmail or something…”, Rael couldn’t help but tease. At least the Miqo’te spent the rest of the day brooding over something that wasn’t Thancred Waters.

But then a few days later Rael had reached the point where they had enough.

One late afternoon they had found A’vi picking at his food while once again staring across the room, where Thancred sat at the bar with one arm around the shoulders of an annoyingly giggling Miqo’te girl. It was painful to watch, both Thancred and his conquest being so obliviously obnoxious as well as A’viloh’s reaction to it, but apart from this it was mostly infuriating. Rael wasn’t even sure who they wanted to yell at the most. So after wordlessly watching for a minute or another they lost their temper and growled at A’viloh.

“Are you mad!? You can’t seriously tell me that this -“, they hissed, silently enough not to catch any attention, gesturing towards the bar. “THIS is what you want? To be stupid! And replaceable! And forgotten before morning!?”

Slightly shocked A’viloh had stared at them for a moment, like he just realised it was the truth, before he wordlessly shook his head and sighed. It wasn’t fair that Rael had lashed out at him, they knew that, but seemingly he needed someone to tell him how ridiculous all of this was. Nonetheless he still looked sad of course, so this time it had been Rael, who had decided to take A’viloh and flee as far away as possible, seeking refuge in their house near Limsa again.

Of course this wouldn’t solve anything and they couldn’t avoid that bastard forever, but there was nothing else Rael could do about it. (Unless you counted maiming or murder a reasonable approach of course.) They simply hoped that A’viloh would soon come to his senses and realise how stupid it was to care about someone as ruthless as Thancred Waters.

***

And now this impossible man had the nerve to show up at their door! Obliviously grinning at that! They really wanted to strangle him. “What are you doing here, Thancred?”, they asked with a way too sweet tone and a strained smile, that somehow looked threatening.

“Ah! Very good question!”, he answered and laughed obliviously. “The two of you haven’t shown me your house yet! So I thought I‘d visit and see for myself!”

The carefully put together smile on Rael’s face faded as quickly as it had appeared. There was no way they would be able to remain friendly towards him even one second longer. “Well, now that you‘ve seen it, why don’t you go and—”

A’viloh, who until then was silently observing the contents of his ice cream bowl in concentration, at once snapped to attention. Alarmed he stared at the Viera while loudly proclaiming. “That’s so nice of you! Why don’t you come in first and we‘ll get you something to drink?”

He left it to Thancred to let himself in and instead grabbed Rael‘s arm to pull them into the kitchen.

“You can’t say something like this, Rael!”, he argued quietly.

“I can’t say what?”, they raised their eyebrows and didn’t bother very much to speak quietly. What bothered them though, was that A‘viloh still was so disgustingly friendly to him. Rael had thought he had understood by now, that on this man all kindness was wasted. “That, for all I care about, he can go and fuck himself?”

“Rael!”, A’viloh hissed and nervously eyed the door.

“Why?”, they simply retorted angrily, while picking up the bowl A’vi had put down on the counter and putting a light ice spell on it. They would rather have put that spell elsewhere.

“Because it‘s rude!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed. „Also, I don‘t think that would be very accurate to say considering… you know…”

“Please!”, Rael interrupted. “It’s very appalling how much thought you seem to have spared to that topic!”

A’viloh gasped. “What?! You started this! I didn’t!”

So much for gratitude!, Rael thought as they opened their mouth to retort something maybe a little bit too snarky. But just in that moment Thancred’s voice echoed from the living rooms. “You two have such a wonderful house. I already thought the garden was beautiful but in here? What a pretty place!”, he said as he pranced into the kitchen and confidently leaned onto the counter like he owned the whole place. To Thancred’s luck and Rael’s disappointment the knife block was out of the Viera‘s reach.

“Thank you…”, A‘viloh answered while still keeping an eye on Rael. The Hyur looked at them innocently smiling as if he didn’t notice at all in what a dangerous situation he had put himself. Nonchalantly he looked around and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “But don’t you think something is missing?”

“Missing??”, Rael echoed and wondered if they should break his nose and see if some of his own blood on the kitchen tiles would suit his taste more. But no! That would just give A‘viloh an opportunity to get unnecessarily worried about him again…

“What do you mean, missing?”, A‘vi asked confused and let his gaze wander through the room as well.

Thancred shrugged. “I don’t know, just a feeling… Are you already completely done with the house or is there anything left you wanted to do?”

“We are more or less done.”, replied the Miqo’te and then added. “Well, Rael still wanted a proper work desk but we didn’t have time for that yet. And maybe something to sit down in the garden or an orchestrion but that would be too much work I‘m afraid…”

Thancred nodded. “Mh, that’s a shame! I think some music would make this place even more cozy…”

(If by cozy he meant the untidy chaos A’viloh had turned their house into these last few days…)

“Right?”, the Miqo’te agreed excitedly. It was disgusting.

Rael had enough of this nonsense. They knew that it would get ugly if they had to hear only a single more word of this conversation. But just as they were about to leave with an inappropriate remark, telling themselves not to care about Thancred being a horrible person and A’viloh being an idiot, all of their linkpearls started to chime at once.

Surprised they stared at each other and then answered the call more or less simultaneously. Minfilia was on the other end of the connection asking if they all could come to the Rising Stones. Then she shortly explained that there had been new information and that all of them were to meet as soon as possible to plan their next move.

Her tone had been serious and all of them knew that this could only either mean one threat or another. While Rael went to the living room table to pick up their grimoire from beneath a heap of papers, Thancred excused himself saying that he would check a few of his own sources before meeting them later.

Rael threw a few things into a bag and went upstairs to change clothes. When they returned some minutes later A’viloh was wandering through the living room with a puzzled expression on his face, ice cream bowl in one hand (of course he wouldn’t let that go to waste!) and lifting the sofa cushions one by one with the other.

Rael sighed. “What are you doing??”

“Please tell me you’ve seen any of my weapons somewhere…”

[thewardenisonthecase]

ay i think i might write some more lucanis character study that is truly just me projecting to cope with things

[monster-noises]

Hgggg

Had one of those sundays where i felt just like

A little bit like shit all day

So i didn't really get any of my comic work done and it just kinda became a Lost Day

So now as consequence my brain won't let me go to bed because i did not Satisfy the Requirements as Set Beforehand

But i would like to actually set myself up for a successful week of going to bed on timebl because i haven't the last two weeks and i can Feel it slowly destroying me spiritually, mentally, and physically

But sometimes there js Naught you can do in the face of Wanton Mental Illness